Something of Myself

Home , Big Steamers, Letting in the Jungle, My Boy Jack (play), My Boy Jack (poem), Watches of the Night

SOMETH ING OF MYSELF

FOR MY FRI E NDS

KN OWN A N D U N KN OWN

NEW YORK CH A RLES SCRI BNE R’S SONS

1937

CONTE NTS

I . A VE RY YOUNG PERSON

“ I I . THE SCHOOL BEF ORE I T S T I ME 22

I I I SEVEN YEA RS’ HA RD

M I V. THE I NTERREGN U

M WA YS V. THE COM I TTEE OF A ND MEA NS

VI . SOUTH A FRI CA

— WN VI I . THE VERY O HOUSE — VI I I . WORKI NG TOOLS

I NDEX

SOMETHING OF MYS ELF

A V E RY YOUN G P E RSON

( 1 865- 1 878)

’ Give me the ﬁ rst six years of a child s life and you can have

the rest.

C KI N G a t ear O b ck from this my seven ieth y , it seems to me that every card in my working life has been dealt me in such a manner that I had

b ut to a it as it m . T o s r pl y ca e heref re, a c ibing

oo tu to the e e all g d for ne Allah Disp nser of Ev nts, I begin M o t y ﬁrst impressi n is of daybreak, ligh and colour and golden and purple fruits at th e level

T o he f of my shoulder . his w uld be t memory o early morning walks to the Bombay fruit market with my aya b and later with my sister in her per ul t r of our tur t our ur e amb a o , and re ns wi h p chas s

o piled high on the b ws of it . Our aya k was a Portugues e Roman Catholic who would pray — e at os . ec I b side her a wayside Cr s M ta, my

ou o o to tt Hindu bearer, w ld s metimes g in li le

m e of t Hindu te ples wher , being below the age cas e,

a o at the - I held his h nd and l oked dimly seen,

friendly Gods . Our evening walks were by the sea in the shadow

- o I e e the of palm gr ves which, think, wer call d

n the the t Mahim Woods . Whe wind blew grea 3 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

t u t —m a ab nu s wo ld umble, and we—ﬂed y y , and my sister in her perambulator to the safety of the

open . I have always felt the menacing darkness of o t I tr pical even ides, as have loved the voices - of t u l or e nigh winds thro gh pa m banana l aves, and the th - song of e tree frogs . - The re were far going Arab dhows on the pearly

ss s waters, and gaily dre ed Par ees wading out to

worship the suns et . Of their creed I knew noth

in I o t o tt n g, nor did kn w hat near ur li le house o

e the Bombay Esplanad were the Towers of Silence, where their Dead are exposed to the waiting vul u s on the of the to uf and t re rim wers, who sc ﬂe spread wings when th ey see the bearers of th e ’ t Dead below . I did not unders and my Mother s “ ’ ” dis tress when she found a child s hand in our gar

den I not to ask u out it . , and said was q estions ab ’ I wanted to se e that child s hand . But my ayalz m told e . t oo o o our In the af ern n heats bef re we t ok sleep, she or Me cta would tell us stories and Indian

u er on n rs y s gs all unforgotten, and we were sent

to the n n - o e in di i g ro m after we had been dr ssed, “ with the caution Speak Englis h now to Papa and ” “ ”

. So t n t Mamma one spoke English, hal i gly rans lated out of the vernacular idiom that one th ought

th s u and dreamed in . The Mo er ang wonderf l songs at a black piano and would go out to Big

s . n u Dinner O ce she came back, very q ickly, and 4 A VERY YOUN G PERSON

“ to me t t o ld , s ill awake, tha th e big L rd Sahib had been killed and there was to be no Big Din

T o o t ner . his was L rd May , assassina ed by a na i tive . Mec ta expla ned afterwards that he had “ ” n s been hit with a knife . Mecta unco sciou ly saved me from any night terrors or dread of the ’

. Our d a ll th e t u ou tu e dark y , wi a s rvan s c ri s mix r of e ffe t o o to de p a c i n and shall w device, had ld me ’ that a stuffed leopard s head on the nursery wall n But was th ere to s ee that I we t to sleep . Mecta “ ” f i s m f l as the e of spoke o t co u ly h ad an animal ,

o off as or and I to k it my mind a fetish, good bad, “ ” for it was only s ome unspeciﬁed animal . Far across green space s round the hous e was a marvellous place ﬁlled with smells of paints and

of I e . oils, and lumps clay with which play d That ’ e o of was the atelier of my Fath r s Sch ol Art, and “ T e t to om a Mr . rry Sahib, his assistan , wh my

e e ot our eat . small sist r was d v ed, was gr friend

e on the t e o the e Onc , way h re al ne, I passed edg

f u e n oot e n e o a h g ravi e a f de p, where a wi g d t tt and ﬂed mons er as big as myself a acked me, I t tu of and wept . My Fa her drew for me a pic re the tragedy with a rhyme beneath

T h ere was a small boy in Bombay

Who once from a hen ran away . “ ’ e t e sa : You re a a Wh n h y id b by, “ re l ed Well I ma be : He p i : , y ’ e a But I don t like these h ns o f Bomb y. 5 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

T n of his co soled me . I have thought well hens ever since . Then th ose days of strong light and darkness

t wa t an passed, and here s a time in a ship wi h - immense semi circle blocking all vision on each

of the old side her . (She must have been paddle

’ 8: r . w t . T e wheel P O Rzp z . ) h re was a rain ac oss a desert ( the Suez Canal was not yet Opened) and

t in it a e on a hal , and small girl wrapp d in a shawl

s t O o me s t . the ea pp site , who e face stands out s ill

re e t a o u The was n x a dark l nd, and a darker ro m f ll of o one of t o c ld, in wall which a whi e w man made

e I e for nak d ﬁre, and cri d aloud with dread, I had

e s nev r before een a grate . T hen came a new small house smelling of aridity t t n in h and emp iness, and a par i g the dawn wit

t o who t I u Fa her and M ther, said hat m st learn quickly to read and write so that they might send me letters and books . in i I lived that house for close on s x years . It belonged to a woman who took in children whose

t an old parents were in India . She was married o

n an Navy Captai , who had been a midshipm at v r o an d t n in Na a in , had afterwards been en a gled o - -ﬁs hin a harp on line while whale g, and dragged

o n t o s m d w ill he miracul u ly freed hi —self . But th e k a dr line had scarred his an le for life y, black I u to o at t nt scar, which sed lo k wi h horriﬁed i erest . The hous e itself stood in th e extreme subu rbs 6 A VERY YOUNG PERSON

of S ut t to o t un n o hsea, nex a Portsm —u h cha ged in most particulars since Trafalgar the Portsmouth ’ ’ of t t B Celia s A rbour The Sir Wal er Besan s y . timber for a Navy that was only experimenting - ' with iron clads such as the I rzﬂexz ble lay in great oo th r Th t ni - b ms in e Ha bour . e lit le trai ng brigs

t h O o u h an d kep t eir walks pp site So t sea Castle,

o ts o th as e n P r m u Hard was it had always b e . Outside these things lay the desolation of Hayling

n o t and the o t a of Isla d, Lumps F r , is la ed h mlet

I oul o for n Milton . w d g lo g walks with the Cap

t and o he too to s e h ain, nce k me see a hip call d t e Alert ( or Discovery ) returne d from Arctic ex

lorations her s ﬁl ld p , deck led with o sledges and

u s u n cut u l mber, and her pare r dder bei g p for

ou ni . A o e b ut o t s ve rs sail r gave me a piec , I l s

it . T old t I o r hen the Cap ain died , and was s r y, for he was th e only person in that house as far

I wh me n as can remember o ever threw a ki d word . I t was an establishment run with th e full vigour of th e as re e h n I e Evang lical veal d to t e Woma . of so I t u e to it had never heard —Hell, was in rod c d in all its terrors I and whatever luckless little

v t the u sla ey migh be in ho se, whom severe ration m ing had led to steal food . Once I saw th e Wo an beat such a girl who picked up the kitchen poker

was e and threatened retaliation . Myself I r gu a o son of l rly beaten . The Woman had an nly

she twelve or th irteen as religious as . I was a 7 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

e f r al joy to him, or when his moth er had ﬁnished with me for the day he ( we slept in th e same

room) took me on and roasted the other side . - If you cross examine a child of seven or eight ’ on his day s doings (specially when he wants to go to sleep) he will contradict himself very satis factor w ily . If each contradiction be set do n as a

not . lie and retailed at breakfast, life is easy I of have known a certain amount bullying, but - this was cal culated torture religiou s as well as ﬁ t e to scienti c . Yet it made me give a t ntion the t d lies I soon found it necessary to ell : an this,

is of r . I presume, the foundation litera y effort

as I But my ignorance w my salvation . was h u u made to read wit out explanation, nder the us al of n fear pu ishment . And on a day th at I remem “ ” ber it came to me that reading was not the Cat ” on t lay the Mat, but a means to everything hat ou S w ld make me happy. o I read all th at came h wit in my reach . As soon as my pleasure in this was n known, deprivation from readi g was added to my punishments . I then read by stealth and the more earnestly. T not n here were ma y books in that house, but Father and Mother as soon as they heard I could

u . I t read sent me priceless vol mes One have s ill, ’ a bound copy of A unt Judy s Magaz ine of the early ’ ’ seventies, in which appeared Mrs . Ewing s Six to Sixtee ow n. I e more in circuitous ways to tha t 8 A VERY YOUNG PERSON

t h a I . I I ale t n can tell knew it, as know it still, o alm st by heart . Here was a history of real people t h l and real things . I was better than Knatc bul ’ H u essen s Tales a t Tea-time tt he g , be er even than T Old Shikarri with its steel engravings of charging o pigs and angry tigers . On an ther plane was an ’ “ old magaz ine with Scott s I climbe d th e dark brow of I o ts the mighty Helvellyn . knew n thing of i

but the o So meaning w rds moved and pleased . “ o o n did other extracts fr m the p ems of A. Ten y ” son .

too u of A visitor, , gave me a little p rple book seve rely moral tendency called The H ope of til e

Ka tz eko s— u bo uou but pf abo t a bad y made virt s, “ it t t e n contained verses ha b ga , Farewell Rewards ” “ t u o T o and Fairies, and ended wi h an inj ncti n ‘ ’ pray for the noddle of William Churne Of Staf h o t . fords ire . This b re fruit af erwards And somehow or other I came acros s a tale about - a lion hunter in South Africa who fell among lions

who so t t t were all Freema ns, and wi h hem en ered

into a confederacy against some wicked baboons .

t t too u t the Jun le I hink hat, , lay dormant n il g o B ook: began to be b rn. The re comes to my mind here a memory of two - books of verse about child life which I have tried — —d in vain to identify . One blue and fat e scribed nine white wolves coming over the ” wold and stirred me to the deeps ; and also cer 9 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

“ tain savages who thought the name of England ” h . was something t a—t could not burn — The other book brown and fat was ful l of a was u lovely t les in strange metres . A girl t rned - “ ” into a water rat as a matter of cours e ; an Urchin cured an old man o f gout by means of a “ - o cool cabbage leaf, and s mehow forty wicked ” “ Goblin s were mixed up in the plot ; and a Dar ’ - ling got out on the house leads with a broom I t and tried to sweep stars off the skies . must

o for h but have been an unusual bo k t at age, I have

e t t I never b en able o recover it, any more han - have a song that a nurs emaid sang at low tide in the face of the sunset on Littlehampton Sands o of when I was less than six . But the impressi n o and t w nder, excitement error and the red bars of failing light is as clear as ever . Among the servants in th e House of Desola on was one u no ti from C m r, which name I associ ated with sorrow and darkness and a raven that “ ” a d n th fl pp e its wi gs . Years later I identified e “ line s : And thrice the Raven fi apped her wing ” o But how Around the towers of Cumn r Hall . I the t the and where first he—ard lines that cas shadow is beyond me unl e ss it be that th e brain holds eve rything that passe s within reach of th e

e ou not o s nses, and it is only rselves who do kn w

When my Father sent me a Robins on Crus oe

1 0 A VERY YOUN G PERSON with steel engravings I set up in business alone as a trader with savages ( th e wreck parts of the tale

u nt e me never m ch i er sted ) , in a mildewy base

nt oo m o m n me room where I st d y solitary c nﬁne e ts . My apparatus was a coconut shell strung on a red o t u and of - c rd, a tin r nk, a piece packing cas e

t oﬁ ot o n which kep any her w rld . Thus fe ced

ou n e the en u rea ab t, every thi g insid f ce was q ite l, but t the s l o f o mixed wi h mel damp cupb ards . If the bit o e I to e h i of b ard f ll, had b gin t e mag c all n I over agai . have learned since from children “ who play much al one that th is rule of beginning ” r te again in a p e nd game is not uncommon . The

ou see e in the or t t ou magic, y , li s ring fence ha y take refuge in. Once I remember being taken to a town called

o e t o Oxf rd and a stre called H lywell, where I was

n who was to shown an A cient of Days , I ld, was the Provost of Oriel ; whe refore I never under

t o but on v him so s of o . s o d, c cei ed to be me ort id l t or t t of us to And wice hrice we wen , all , pay a day long visit to an old gentleman in a hou s e in the

th wa w n country near Havant . Here every ing s o d f l u old er u and nlike my world, and he had an

s t who was n I in hot lady si er ki d, and played , - t sweet smelling meadows and ate all sor s of things . After such a visit I was once put through the

e e the o and son who s third d gre by W man her , a ked me if I had told the old gentleman that I was much

1 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ fonder of him th an was the Woman s son . It must - have been the tail end of some sordid intrigue or

t — old f kin to t t nu o her the — gentleman being o ha happy pair but it was beyond my comp rehen sion . My sole concern had been a friendly pony

th z to m in e paddock . My da ed attempts clear y

not e t o th e u self were acc p ed and, nce again, pleas re that I was seen to have taken was balanced by — punishments and humiliation above all humilia

on was u t . I tion . That alternati q i e regular can but admire the infernal laborious ingenuity of it

e r out of u o all . E x mpli g atia . Coming ch rch nce - n I smiled . The Devil Boy dema ded why. I said ’ ’ I t o t ut . re didn kn w, which was child s r h He ’ m o e u for plied that I ust kn w . P ople didn t la gh

n e o o nothi g . H aven kn ws what explanati n I put forward ; b ut it was duly reported to the Woman “ u t u t as a lie Res l , afternoon pstairs wi h the

I r e o t Collect to l earn . lea n d m st of the Collec s

T he son that way and a great deal of the Bible . after three or four years went into a Bank and was

too t on tu to tu generally ired his re rn tor re me, n u le ss things had gone wrong with him . I learned to know what was coming from his step into the house . But for t I , a mon h each year possessed a para I dise which verily believe saved me . Each De cemb er t e t o I s ay d wi h my Aunt Ge rgy, my moth ’ st e of u -J er s si er, wif Sir Edward B rne ones, at 12

SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

was the e e us The ably, b loved Aunt herself r ading

irate or The A ab e n e P r ian N ights of ev ni gs, wh n one out th toff lay on e big sofas sucking ee, and “ ” “ our u H o or u t of calling co sins , Son, Da gh er ” “ ” my Uncle or 0 True Believer

who o e Often the Uncle, had a g ld n voice,

ou t o r n t ou os t w ld assis in u eve ing play, h gh m ly he worked at black and white in the middle o f our

o s . w e e ri t He as never idle . We mad a drap d “ chair in the hall serve for the s eat of Norna of ” the Fitful Hea d and addressed her questions till the Uncle got ins ide the rugs and gave us answers

t e us t t u in o which hrill d wi h deligh f l shivers, a v ice And on deeper than all the boots in the world . ce he descended in broad daylight with a tube of

mm o his n t Mu y Br wn in ha d, saying hat he had discovered it was made of dead Pharaohs and we

So we out and must bury it accordingly . all went — helped according to the rites of Miz raim and

o — —to th I ou Memphis, I h pe and is day c ld drive a spade with in a foot of where that tube lies .

m one o At bedti e hastened al ng the passages, h where unﬁnished cartoons lay against t e walls .

The t nte th n Uncle of en pai d in eir eyes ﬁrst, leavi g — r t o the rest in charcoal a mo st effective p esenta i n .

our to our own to - a Hence speed p l nding, where we could hang ove r the stairs and listen to the — - lovelies t s ound in the world d eep voiced men laughing togeth er ove r dinner . 14 A VERY YOUNG PERSON

I t was a jumble of delights and emotions cul minating in being allowed to blow the big organ

the u o for u t in st di the beloved A n , while the ” or T o s of Uncle worked , Uncle p y came in full - some business of picture frames or stained glass o or general denunciations . T hen it was hard t keep the little lead weight on its string below the and the o n out ue chalk mark, if rga ran in sq als

the u ou o r . never beloved A nt w ld be s r y Never, angry ! As a rule Morris took no notice of anything B outside what was in his mind at the moment . ut

z ou I remember one ama ing exception . My c sin

t and ou e e th e Margare I, then ab t ight, wer in

n o - r on o re nursery eati g p rk d ipping br wn b ad,

for the o s we which is a dish G d , when heard “ ” e T o the n as u Uncl psy in hall calli g, he us ally “ ” h was for N ed or eo . T e tt did, G rgie ma er

r So we the mo outs ide our wo ld . were re impressed

not n n the o -u s m when, ﬁ di g gr wn p , he ca e in and

t r tt ou s e said he would tell us a s o y. We se led r lves - unde r the table which we used for a toboggan slide

he a as e on to our and , gr vely ev r, climbed big - o e . T u rocking h rs here, slowly s rging back and

th e oo e s t us forth while p r b a creaked, he told a tale

f s n t o ro ou full o fa ci a ing h r rs, ab t a man who was condemned to dream bad dreams . One of them ’ took th e s hape of a cow s tail waving from a heap

ﬁ sh n u of dried . He we t away as abr ptly as he 1 5 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

o e . t old had c m Long af erwards, when I was ’ n u to o on e o gh kn w a maker s pains, it dawned me that we must have heard the Saga of Burnt

h was u t t him . Njal, whic hen in eresting In defa lt of o -u s to the gr wn p , and pressed by need pass t i story between his tee h and clarify t, he had used us . — But on a certain day one tried to fend o ff th t ou — ou e h ght of it th e delicious dream w ld end,

one ou u t ou of s o and w ld ret rn o the H se De olati n, and for the next two or th ree mornings there cry on k o un t and o wa ing up . Hence m re p ishmen s cr ss n exami ations . and t t unt Often of en af erwards, the beloved A would ask me why I had never told any one how I

tt o was being treated . Children tell li le m re than

m t om to t t t ani als, for wha c es hem hey accep as - h te t e . t e te e rnally es ablish d Also, badly r a d c ildren have a clear notion of what they are likely to get if they betray the secrets of a prison-house before they are clear of it . In j ustice to th e Woman I can say that I was to f adequately fed . (I remember a gift her o “ ” s o ru to me red f it called matoes which, after

o o e t e t u l ng c nsid ra ion, she boil d wi h s gar ; and they

e r t nn of t wer ve y beastly. The i ed meat hose days was u t a ee t um A s r lian b f wi h a cr bly fat, and string

utt r to . N or boiled m on, ha d get down ) was my

u u t e e t o u u life an ns i abl pr para i n for my f t re, in

1 6 A VERY YOUN G PERSON t m on t s th e of hat it de anded c s ant warines , habit o o tte oo nd bservati n, and a ndance on m ds a tempers ; th e noting of discrepancies between speech and action ; a certain res erve of demeanou r ; and auto

s o e L o matic su pici n of sudden favours . Broth r ipp

own s as b o discov Lippi, in his harder ca e, a y ered :

Wh soul and sense of him ro s ar a e y, g w h p lik ,

H e earns the loo o f t n s and none the le l k hi g , ss r a F o dmonition .

So it was with me . t My troubles se tled th emselve s in a few years .

e t o ou not e see to My eyes w n wr ng, and I c ld w ll

F or e so the o e and in read . which r a n I read m r

o t a bad lights . My w rk at th e terrible li tle d y school where I had been sent suffe red in con h u e and o t o t o e it . T e seq enc , my m n hly rep r s sh w d “ - ” “ ” loss of reading time was th e worst of my home

o - or One re o wa punishments for bad scho l w k . p rt s so bad that I threw it away and said that I had B is o for h never rece ived it . ut this a hard w rld t e

web of e e was s t amateur liar . My d c it wif ly ex — - posed the Son spared time after banking hours - - — to help in the auto da fé and I was well beaten and sent to school through the streets of Southsea .

n t es e t n s r of the In the lo g run h hi g , and many mo e

of t for on like, drained me any capaci y real, pers al

o o s hate for the rest of my days . S cl se mu t any 1 7 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

“ -ﬁllin O life g passion lie to its pposite . Who hav ing known the Diamond will concern himself with glass ?”

o of ou - for S me sort nerv s break down followed, I imagined I saw shadows and things that were

t e me o the not there, and hey worri d m re than

e o e u u of Woman . The b l v d A nt m st have heard

and as to it, a man came down to see me my eyes - was o h a t . too and rep rted t I was half blind This, , “ ” u o to n -off s pp sed be showi g , and I was segre — — gated from my siste r anot—her punishment as a f o . T I not sort o m ral leper he—n do remember that I had any warning the Mother retu rned

o e r t a t from India . She t ld me aft rwa ds h when she ﬁrst came up to my room to kiss me good t u u to u off the uff t nigh , I ﬁ ng p an arm g ard c hat

I had been trained to expect . I was taken at once from the House o f Desola

for on tt - u tion, and m ths ran wild in a li le farm ho se on th e t e not e edge of Epping For s , wh re I was o encouraged to refer to my guilty pas t . Except f r

e t o m o h o my sp c acles, which were unc m n in t se

o et t t days, I was c mpl ely happy wi h my Mo her and o o t u for the l cal s cie y, which incl ded me a

of who to of gipsy of the name Saville, ld me tales ’ selling horses to the ignorant ; the farmer s wife ; her niece Patty who turned a kind blind eye on our raids into the dairy ; the postman ; and th e

- The not of farm boys . farmer did approve my

1 8 A VERY YOUNG PERSON teaching one of his cows to stand and be milked th t in e ﬁeld . My Mo her drew th e line at my - return to meals red booted from assisting at the

or e n t the o t slaughter of swine, r eki g af er expl ra ion of t u - T the o attrac ive m ck heaps . hese were nly t on I restric i s recall .

to A cousin, afterwards be a Prime Minister, o Th t would come d wn on visits . e farmer said tha “ o t we did each other no good . Yet the w rs I - can remembe r was our self sacriﬁcing war against ’ a wasps nest on a muddy islet in a most muddy

Our o o t s of oo pond . nly weap ns were swi che br m, h b ut we de feated the enemy unscathed . T e trou ble at home centred round an enormous currant “ ” - — o n o roly poly a sp tted dog a foot lo g. We t ok it away to sustain us in action and we heard a great deal about it from Patty in the evening . Then we went to Lo ndon and stayed for some - - weeks in a tiny lodging house in th e semi rural

o to o e or - e o Br mp n R ad, k pt by an iv y fac d, l rdly - r t his e t e . whiske ed ex bu ler and pati n wif Here, for the t it t ot ﬁrst ime, happened tha the night g

I u and e ou into my head . rose p wand red ab t that e I out t still house till daybreak, wh n slipped in o - the little brick walled garden and saw the dawn

ou ee but u break . All w ld have b n well for Pl to,

et ou om a p toad br ght back fr Epping Forest, who lived mostly in one of my pockets . It struck me t that he might be thirsty, and I stole in o my 19 SOMETHI N G OF MYSELF

’ Mother s room and would have given him drink ro t - B f m a wa er j ug. ut it slipped and broke and r u was - n ve y m ch said . The ex butler could not u d ers tand I t why had s ayed awake all night. I did not kn ow then th at such night-wakings would be l aid upon me through my life ; or that my fo rtunate ’ ou ou on the u of un sou h r w ld be t rn s rise, with a t z wes bree e afoot. The sorely tried Mother got my sister and me - season tickets for the old South Kensington Mu

um o N o se which was only across the r ad . ( need h fﬁ in those days to caution us against t e tra c . )

V t two on ount of our u ery shor ly we , acc reg lar

tten n for the e t u wet a da ce ( w a her had t rned ) , o e t t and on m wn d ha place e police an in special . - When we came with any grown up s he saluted us

ro u th magniﬁcently . F m th e big B ddha with e little

o in his to the to n u - do r back, weri g d ll gilt ancient coaches and carven chariots in long dark corridors — “ even the place s marked private where fresh — treasures were always being unpacked we roved - at and the t u s on . will, divided reas res child fa hi

T e e ns t u ents of us t her wer i r m m ic inlaid wi h lapis, - beryl and ivories ; glorious gold fretted spinets an d clavichords ; th e bowels of th e great Glastonbury - clock ; mechanical models ; steel and silver butted — to s and ar ueb usses the pis ls, dagger q labels alone were an educa tion ; a collection of preciou s stones — — and rings we quarrelled ove r those and a big

T H E SCH OOL BE F ORE I T S T I ME — ( 1878 1882)

TH E N a came school at the far end of Engl nd . The

it o - o e Head of was a lean, sl w sp ken, beard d, Arab complexioned man whom till then I had known as “ ” one of my Deputy-Uncles at The Grange ”

Cormell e ot e o . Pric , h rwise Uncle Cr m My o h tu to nﬁ s e M t er, on her re rn India , co ded my si t r and me to the care of three dear ladies who lived off the far end of Kensington High Street over

n o u t oo against Addiso R ad, in a ho se ﬁlled wi h b ks, t to- ou peace, kindliness, pa ience and what day w ld ” But it u t o be called culture . was nat ral a m s

he p re .

e o on One of th e ladi s wr te novels her knee,

t ust t of by the ﬁreside, si ting j ou side the edge

t o t two t t conversa i n, benea h clay pipes ied wi h

o o e . black ribbon, which nce Carlyle had sm k d All the people one was taken to see either wrote or

u or in th e of . painted pict res , as case a Mr and

n e t t . T Miss de Morgan, or am n ed iles hey let me 1

i ue ti i t . o play with the r q er, s cky pa n s S mewhere in the background were people called Jean Ingelow

t o tt b ut ne e u and Chris ina R sse i, I was v r l cky

enough to see those good s pirits . And there was

22 TH E SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TI ME choice in the walls of bookshelves of anything one liked from Firmilian to The M oons tone and The ’ Woman in White o o and, s meh w, all Wellington s

Indian Despatches, which fascinated me . These treasure s were realis ed by me in the course th t f w t of e nex e years . Mean ime (Spring of

t at out s o t of af er my experience S h ea, the pr spec

o Th n o school did n t attract . e U ited Services C l lege was in the nature of a company promoted by poor ofﬁcers and the like for the cheap education

t e on set u at H o ! e of h ir s s, and p Westward n ar

I e t - o — o Bideford . t was larg ly a cas e scho l s me - seventy ﬁ ve p er cent of us had been born Outside England and hoped to follow their fathers in th e

m I t was b ut ou old I Ar y. f r or ﬁve years when

o ne m u u e Cormell j i d, and had been ade p nd r ’ r e s t o e u P ic hand by draf s fr m Hail yb ry, whose

tt it o o e I t n of pa ern f ll w d, and, hi k, a percentage ” o o hard cases from ther scho l s . Even by the

of t os it was t in its standards h e days, primi ive

o ntme t and our o u now app i n s, fo d wo ld raise a

t t oo . no tirne mu iny in Dar m r I remember , after

- e s e t u not eat home tips had be n p n , when we wo ld dry bread if we could s teal it from the trays in the o et the s - ous basement bef re tea . Y ick h e was per manently empty except for lawful accidents ; I re member not one death of a boy ; and only one

— - n th e epidemic of chicken pox . The Head called us together and condoled with us in such fashion 23 SOMETHING OF MYSELF th at we expected immediate break-up and began

to e . But t er the che r he said hat, p haps, best thing o to t n t w uld be ake no notice of the i cident, and hat “ ” he would work us lightly for th e rest of the term . d He did and it checked the epi emic .

t t H o ! was u u Na urally, Wes ward br tal eno gh, but t the u b o u , se ting aside fo l speech that a y o ght to learn early and put behind him by his seven teenth it e n t I year, was cl a with a cleanliness hat have never heard of in any other school . I remem

e u t r ber no cases of ev n s spec ed pe version, and am inclined to th e th eory that if maste rs did not

u t th o t t t u t s spec em, and sh w ha hey s spected, here k would not be quite s o many elsewhere . Tal ing

a things over with Gormell Price fterwards, he confessed that his one prophylactic against certain “ unclean microbes was to send us to bed dead ” f r ou . e e o ou tired H nce the wid ness b nds, and his deaf ear towards our incessant riots and wars between the Houses .

A t the of r o end my ﬁrst te m, which was h rrible, my parents could not reach England for the Easter

to few holidays, and I had stay up with a big boys t f reading for Army Exams . and a ba ch o youngsters

e whose people we re very far away. I xpected th e

o s t but u the w r , when we s rvivors were left in echo ing fo rm-rooms after the others had driven cheer in o the t o u g t s ati n, life s ddenly became a new th ing (thanks to Gormell Price) . The big remote 24 THE SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TIME

o u h seni rs t rned into tolerant elder brot ers, and let us small fry rove far out of bounds ; shared their delicacies with us at tea ; and even took an nt o n o i erest in our h bbies . We had o special w rk

e to do and enj oyed ourselves hugely . On the r “ ” of s te d o et turn the school all smiles pp e t g her, or o t o I which was right and proper . F c mpensa i n m was given a holiday when my Fath er ca e home,

’ th him t to h t o 8 and wi wen the Paris Ex ibi i n of 7 , where he was in charge of Indian Exhibits . He

at e old u allowed me, twelve y ars , the f ll freedom of t t u t and the ha spacio s and friendly ci y, run n I t of the Exhibition grounds a d buildings . was - an education in itself ; and set my life long love

a . saw t u for Fr nce Also, he to it hat I sho ld learn

o e m wn u nt and t read French at l ast for y o am seme , as gave me Jules Ve rne to begin with . French an - accomplishment was not Well seen at English

o me of it ot sch ols in my ti , and knowledge conn ed F or : leanings towards immorality . myself

I hold it truth with him who sung u s ed me od es Unp bli h l i , e i ar e n oun Who wak s n P is, b i g y g, ’ 0 summer, wakes in Paradise.

For those who may be still interested in such mat

e I t of t of t rs, wro e this par my life in some

o v ni o F rance to the S u e rs f , which are very close

facts of that time . 25 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

My ﬁrst year and a half was not pleasant . The most persistent bullying comes not less from the on a bigger boys, who merely kick and pass , th n from young devils of fourteen acting in concert n was against o e butt . Luckily for me I physically f swirmnin some years in advance o my age, and g

th e sea t or off Ri in big open ba hs, the Pebble dge, was the one accomplishment that brought me any

I oo u i credit . played f ter ( R gby Un on) , but here no again my sight hampered me . I was t even in th e Second Fifteen . After my strength came suddenly to me about

t e no my fourteenth year, her was more bullying ; and either my natural sloth or past experience did not tempt me to bully in my turn . I had by then two found me friends with whom, by a carefully of u u arranged system m t al aids, I went up the - school on co Operative principles . — ’ we n of S M Turk How— the origi als talky , , and B e ﬁrst a e to t eetl c m ge her I do not remember, but our Triple Alliance was well e stablished before

e we were thirteen. We had be n oppressed by a large toughis h boy who raide d our poor little lock

o on o ers . We to k him in a l ng, mixed rough - u s of . and tumble, j st this—ide the real thing At the end we were all out (we worked by pressure “ ” n u h and clingi g, m c as bees ball a Queen) and

he never troubled us again . Turkey possessed an invincible detachment 26 TH E SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TIME — far beyond mere insolence towards all the world

o e n and a t ngu , whe he used it, dipped in some - u . o e o Irish bl e acid M reov r, he sp ke, sincerely, “ ” of the t u o mas ers as shers, which was n t without t charm . His general a titude was that of Ireland ff at t t in English a airs ha time . ut t i For exec ive capaci y, the organ sation of raids,

and t e t e on t our reprisals, re r a s, we dep nded S alky,

om e -in- n t ff C mand r Chief and Chief of his ow S a .

o t t e I He came of a househ ld wi h a s ern h ad, and,

t in . u e n fancy, had raining the holidays T rk y ever

o us u ou e . tu u t ld m ch ab t his b longings He rned p , u u two oo s ally a day or late, by the Irish packet, al f,

ut t ous . him the inscr able, and contradic i On lay

u of e o t our tu for e b rden d c ra ing s dy, he serv d a

u o strange God called Ruskin . We fo ght am ng “ ’ ’ ou e t u rs lves regular an fai hf l as man an wife, b ut any debt which we owed el s ewhere was faith

fully paid by all three of us . “ Our socialisation of educational opportunities

oo us un t e u th e s o t the o of t k sca h d p cho l , ill riginal

tt e H art0 one uest too ma Li l pp , asking q ion ny, - dis close d th at I did not know what a co sin e was ” and compared me to brute beasts . I taught

of e Turkey all he ever knew French, and he tri d

a o tt n to make St lky and me c mprehend a li le Lati .

is u to for e ou There m ch be said this syst m, if y

b o t u re want a y to learn any hing, beca se he will member what he gets from an equal where his 27 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ o master s w rds are forgotten. Similarly, when it was necess ary to Stalky that I should get into t u ho o I the Choir, he a ght me w t quaver know a ” maiden fair to see by punching me in the kidneys

u o th -ﬁ d But o all p and d wn e cricket el . ( s me small trouble ove r a solitaire marble pushed from beneath - the hem of a robe down the choir steps into the

s tiled ai le ended that venture . ) I think it was his infernal impersonality that

us our s aw not swayed all in wars and peace . He

us b ut m o the s in only hi self fr m out ide, and later

we n the life, as met in I dia and elsewhere, gift

. o t e t u persisted At l ng las , wh n wi h an eq ipment of doubtful Ford cars and a collection of mos t

e t o ut u o e t uff mix d r ops, he p p a m num n al bl against the Bols heviks somewhere in Armenia (it is written in his Adventures of Dunsterforce )

was nea as os s s t and as rly p ible de troyed, he wro e

to the auth orities respons ible . I asked him what “ T e o happened . h y t ld me th ey had no more use m ” u . for y services, said he . Nat rally I condoled “ ” on usu the - Wr g as al, said ex Head of Number “ fﬁ Five study. If any o ce r under me had written

’ t to fﬁ e wha I did the War O c , I d have had him o w t br ke in t o twos . Tha fairly sums up the man — ho I and the boy w commanded us . think I was a b uﬁ er state be tween his drivings and his - tongue las hings and his campaigns in which we

e o and the r t u wer p wers ; ac id, devas ating T rkey

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

i the were caught smok ng, they came up before Pre

not on l n for u the feets, mora grou ds, but us rping

o f the t s privileges Ruling Cas e . The clas ic phrase “ : You t ? was esteem yourself o be a Prefect, do you A ” ll . o u six e . right C me to my st dy at , pl ase This seemed to work better than religious lectures and even expulsions which some establishments used out for to deal this dread sin . “ ” ou x t u Oddly en gh fagging did not e ist, ho gh “ ! the name fag was regularly used as a term of contempt and sign of subordination against the “ ” n n t o a Lo wer School . If o e eeded a varle t cle n tu or things in a s dy run errands, that was a matter — o for private bargaining in our only currency f od . o t uc e t S me imes s h service gave prot c ion, in the sense that it was distinct cheek to Oppress an ac “ ”

. h u o n credited varlet I never served t s, wi g to my untidiness but our study entertained one ou sporadically, and to him we three exp nded all

e . But u housewif ly duties , as a rule, T rkey would tidy up like the old maid to whom we always com pared h ' Games were compulso ry unless written excuse

were furnished by compe tent authority . The pen alty for wilful shirking was three cut s with a

u ash of gro nd from the Prefect of Games . One the most difficult things to explain to some people is that a boy of seventeen or eighteen can th us beat

his u and o a boy barely a year j nior, on the heels f 30 THE SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TI ME the punishment go for a walk with him ; neither t or par y bearing malice pride .

’ ’ So too in the War of 14 to 1 8 young gentle men found it hard to understand that the Adj utant who ou t o t e e but p red vi ri l on h ir h ads at Parade, was o t and was no p li e friendly at Mess, t sucking

to t to e for e o up hem make am nds pr vi us rudeness . - Except in the case of two House masters I do not recall being lectured or preached at on morals or t I t n vir ue . is ot always expedient to excite a ’ o n out o t o gr wi g y h s religi us emo i ns, because one

set of e u t o nerves se ms to comm nicate wi h thers, “ - ” and Heaven knows what mine s a pi jaw may B touch off. ut there were no doors to our bare

o to e nor o of n windy d rmi ri s, any s rt lock o the - o o . Our t t one e t on f rm ro ms mas ers, wi h xcep i

wh t r o u e e un e . o lived o side, w r mar i d The sch ol

u o e o n - ou b ildings, riginally ch ap l dgi g h ses, made

one t t s e the o s raigh bar against a hill id , and b ys

a t u nd o f n circul ed p a d wn in front o it . A pe al battalion could not have been more perfectly po

liced t ou th not e . , h gh at we did realis Merci fully we knew little outside the immediate burden of the day and the necessity for getting into the

I t t t e w . e Army hink, hen, hat when we work d

wo rked harder than most schools . - My House master was deeply conscientious and o cumbered about with many cares f r his charge s .

I o What he accomplished thereby kn w not . His 3 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF e rrors sprang from pure and excessive goodness . Me and my companions he always darkly and

e . e t tt s d eply suspected R alising his, we li le bea ts him t h t made swea , whic he did on sligh provo i cat on. My main interest as I grew older was C m t - of y English and Classics Mas er, a rowing man splendid physique, and a scholar who lived in

e o o t s cret h pe of translating Theocritu s w r hily . He

o t t no t had a vi len emper, disadvan age in handling

o to of b ys used direct speech, and a gift school ’ ” master s sarcasm which must have bee n a relief o h - t im and was certainly a treasure trove to me . - Also he was a good and House proud House o master . Under him I came to feel th at w rds

o o me the hon c uld be used as weap ns, for he did - our to talk at me plentifully ; and our year in year out form-room bickerings gave us both something

oo to play with . One learns more from a g d scholar in a rage th an from a score of lucid and laborious ’ drudges ; and to be made the butt of one s com panions in full form is no bad preparation for “ I t t a roac now late r experiences . hink his pp is

o the of ut discou raged f r fear of hurting soul yo h, but in es s ence it is no more than rattling tin s or ’ o r s u s u e o t o . I e t ﬁ ing q ib nd r a c l s n se r mem—ber n h ing sav e s atis faction or envy when C broke

his o s v m preci u ointments o er y head . I tried to give a pale rendering of his style 32 THE SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TIME

“ “ ” t t u I when hea ed in a S alky tale, Regul s, but wis h I could have pres ented him as he blaz ed forth — once on the great Cleopatra Ode the 27th of the T hird Book . I had detonated him by a very vile o h t u t e s t . c ns r e of ﬁr few lines Having slain me, he charged over my corpse and delivered an inter p retation of the rest of the Ode unequalled for o p wer and insight . He held even the Army Class breathless . T here must be still masters of the same sin cerit o o e u o y ; and gram ph n records of s ch g od men, on the of t t u t brink profani y, s r ggling with a La in

o ou b e o u to f rm, w ld m re helpf l education than n bushels of pri ted books . C taught me to loathe Horace for two years ; to forget him for t nt to th e of we y, and then love him for rest my

an days d through many sleepless night s .

e o e at o the t of After my s c nd y ar sch ol , ide

o th writing set in . In my h lidays e three ladies — — listened it was all I wanted to anything I had

to sa . I e on h The Cit o y dr w t eir books, from y f Dreadful N ight which shook me to my unforrned ’ b e rom N ature o Mrs . Gatt s ara l s c re, y P f which I u I was o o of imitated and tho ght riginal, and sc res

few t o t of or t othe rs . There were a r ci ies form me re o that I did not perpetrate and I enj yed them all .

so th o I dis covered, al , at pers nal and well

o o o pointed limericks on my c mpani ns w rked well , and I and a red-nosed b oy of uncertain temper 33 SOMETHING OF MYSELF — exploited the idea not without dust and heat ; th next, that e metre of H iawatha saved one all bother about rhyme : and that there had been a man called Dante who, living in a small Italian u t town at general iss e wi h his neighbours, had invented for most of them lively torments in a - nine ringed Hell , where he exhibited them to after “ ages . C said, He must have made himself ” u o a thori infernally unpop lar . I c mbined my u r t es . I - - - bought a fat, American clo th bound note book, and set to on I n erno ut work an f , into which I p , o tu o t under appropriate t r re, all my friends and m s of b the masters . This was really remunerative e cause one could chant his future doom to a victim walking below the windows of the study which

I a on now with my two comp ni s possessed . Then, ” oo as rare things will , my b k vanished, and I lost

wa h t interest in the H ia t a me re . Tennyson and A urora L eigh came in th e way of o C nature to me in the h lidays, and in form o e o nce literally threw M n and W men at my head . “ o Here I found The Bishop rders his Tomb, “L R ” L L ” ove among t—he uins and F—ra ippo ippi, a not too remote I dare to think ancestor of mine . ’ Swinburne s poems I mus t have come across ’ H e not ﬁrst at the Aunt s . did strike my very “ ” young mind as anything in particular till I read

A talanta in Cal aa one e of y n, and v rse verses which 34 THE SCHOOL BEFORE ITS TIME exactly set the time for my side-stroke when I

the o e off th A s bathed in big r ll rs e Ridge . thus

Who shall s eek thee and bring A nd restore thee th da H al roll y y, ( f ) When the d ove dipt her wing A nd the oars won th eir way Where the narrowing Sympl egades whitened the straits of Propontis With spray ? ( Carry on with the impetus )

If you can time the last line of it to end with a

o on ou e l ng roller crashing y r head, the cadenc is

e . I o t t to o compl te even f rgave Bre Har e, wh m I o for t t wed many things, aking that me re in “ ” r vain in his Heathen Chinee . But I never fo

for th gave C bringin—g e fact to my notice . N ot till years late r talking things ove r with “ ”— my Uncle Crom did I realis e that inj ustices “ of this sort were not without intention . You ”

n t o . needed a tight ha d in h se days, he drawled “ ” “ ” “ i o and G t to u . H e so gave y did, said I, did H the married master whom the school

thoroughly feared . “

tha t o . Yes I remember , Cr m answered , that ” n ff of was me too . This had bee an a air an Essay “ ” — o or om t of t A Day in the H lidays, s e hing hat

set it but e to nature . C had the papers w re be marked by H My essay was of variegated b t s o e e I on o u constant vilenes , m d ll d, fancy, h liday ’ r e Th n Un readings of a j ou nal call d e Pi /e . o Even I had never done anything w rse . Normally 35 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

’ H s markings would have been sent in to h C wit out comment . On this occasion, how

in o at t ever (I was Latin f rm the ime) , H for h o C entered and asked t e ﬂo r . yielded it him t off be to with a grin . H hen told me t fore my deligh ed companions in his best style,

o u which was acid and c ntumelious . He wo nd up “ by a few general remarks about dying as a scurri ” too lous journalist . (I th ink now that H ’ U tt The ink n . may have read P ) The tone, ma er, n f t and setti g o his—discourse were as brutal as hey were meant to be brutal as the necessary wrench - on the curb that fetches up a too ﬂipp ant colt .

added a rider or two after H had le ft . (But it pleased Allah to afﬂict H in after

met o years . I him in charge of a mixed C llege

of u in New Zealand, where he taught a class yo ng “ u ladies Latinity. And when they make false q an ” t ou u to t — ! ities, like y sed , hey make eyes at me I thought of my chill mornings at Greek T esta t o ment under his ready hand, and pi ied him fr m

o the bo—tt m of my soul . ) Yes I must have been nursed with care by

Crom and under his orders . Hence, when he saw

was t o m tt to the - I irre rievably c m i ed ink pot, his order that I should edit the School Paper and have

run of r . u the his Libra y Study Hence, I pres me, — ’ C s m t si ilar permission, granted and wi hdrawn

as the fortunes of our private war varied . Hence 36

— I known it at The bodies of those be Of Death SEVE N YE A RS ’ H A RD

I am oor Brot er L o b our lea e p h ipp y y v ,

You need n t la ur r e m a e o c p yo to ch s to y f c . i i i F ro L ppo L pp .

SO at t b ut oo n , sixteen years and nine mon hs, l ki g ou or t f r ﬁve years older, and adorned wi h real whiskers which the scandalised Mother abolished

t o of o at wi hin one h ur beholding, I f und myself

o o o t B mbay where I was b rn, m ving among sigh s and smells that made me deliver in the vernacular

e o I n sent nces wh se meaning I knew not . Other dian-born boys have told me how the same thing happened to them . ’ et ou to L There were y three or f r days rail ahore,

o . e t n where my pe ple lived Aft r hese, my E glish nor years fell away, ever, I think, came back in

full strength . - o —con That was a joyous home coming. F r — sider l I had re turned to a Father and Mother of whom I had seen b ut little since my sixth year. “ I might have found my Mo ther the sort of woman ’ ” o e for one I d n t car , as in terrible case that I

e But th o e know ; and my Father intolerabl . e M th r proved more delightful than all my imaginings or 39 SOMETHIN G OF MYSELF

memories . My Father was not only a mine o f n knowledge and help, but a humorous, tolera t,

- s own oo and exp ert fellow craft man . I had my r m in the house ; my servant, handed over to me by ’ t the my fa her s servant, whose son he was, with n of - wn solem ity a marriage contract ; my o horse, ffi - cart, and groom ; my—own o c—e hours and direct responsibilities ; and o h joy E my own offi ce ’ t o to box, just like my Fa her s, which he to k daily the do Lahore Museum and School of Art . I not remember the smallest friction in any detail of our ’ o lives . We delighted m re in each other s society than in that of strangers ; and when my sister came h out our i . , a little later, cup was filled to t e br m N o t n . only were we happy, but we k ew it But t the work was heavy . I represented fif y “ per cent of the edit—orial staff of the one daily paper of the Punjab a small sister of the great Pioneer at Allahabad under the same proprietor

o ship . And a daily paper comes ut every day even u of th tho gh ﬁfty per cent e staff have fever .

My Chief took me in hand, and for three years

or t him. and so I loa hed He had to break me in, uff on u I knew nothing. What he s ered my acco nt I cannot tell ; but the little that I ever acquired of th e r t to accuracy, habit of t ying at leas verify n references, and some knack of sticki g to desk

to . work, I owed wholly Stephen Wheeler I never worked less than ten hours and seldom 40 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD more than ﬁfteen per diem ; and as our paper came out in the evening did not see the midday sun

on u . too except S ndays I had fever , regular and to persistent, which I added for a while chronic

dysentery. Yet I discovered that a man can work h t of 10 wit a tempera ure 4, even though next day fﬁ who Our he has to ask the o ce wrote the article .

F the u native oreman, on News side, Mian R kn u f Din, a M hammedan gentleman o kind heart and

inﬁnite patience, whom I never saw unequal to a

e o situation, was my loyal fri nd th r ughout . From the modern point of view I suppose the life was not

do b u o o ﬁt for a g, t my w rld was ﬁlled with b ys, few a but a years older th n I, who lived utterly

alone, and died from typhoid mostly at the regula - tion age of twenty two . As regarding ourselves at th to home, if ere were any dying be done, we ’ to The was h four were gether. rest in t e day s

t o work, wi h l ve to sweeten all th ings.

o e u out Bo ks, plays, pictur s, and am sements,

the e side what games cold weath r allowed, there t were none . Transport was limited o horses and ’ t such railways as existed . This meant tha one s normal radius of travel would be about six miles

—one in any direction, and did not meet new white

was our faces at every six miles . Death always was near companion . When there an outbreak of eleven cases of typhoid in our white community of nd not seventy, a professional nurses had been 4 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

th invented, the men sat up with the men and e

th e o of our women with women . We l st four u th invalids and tho ght we had done well . O er wise, men and women dropped where they stood . Hence our custom of looking up any one who did not at o r appear u daily gatherings . — The dead of all times were abou t us in the vast forgotten Muslim cemeteries round th e Sta ’ ’ o o ti n, where one s horse s h of of a morning might break through to the corpse below ; skulls and bones

out of our mud tumbled garden walls, and were turned up among the ﬂowers by the Rains ; and at n Our every poi t were tombs of th e dead . chief picnic rendez vous and some of our public oﬂi ces had been memorials to desired dead women ; and ’ Run it Fort Lahore, where j Singh s wives lay, was o of a maus leum ghosts . This was the setting in which my world re

I ts t —a e volved . cen re for me m mber at seven — u for teen was the P njab Club, where bachelors,

t to e of no the most part, ga hered eat m als merit among men whose merits they knew well . My h Chief was married and came t ere seldom, so it was mine to be told every evening of the faults of ’ a Our that day s issue in very simple l nguage . na “ ” tive compositors followed copy with out know

n o u ing o e wo rd of English . Hence gl rio s and r oo - sometimes obscene misprints . Ou pr f readers

m t of a (so e imes we had a brace them) dr nk, which 42 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

T . was expected ; but systematic and prolonged D. on their part gave me more than my share of their o A nd w rk. in that Club and elsewhere I met none except picked men at th eir deﬁnite work — u Civilians, Army, Ed cation, Canals, Forestry, En I t R t gineer—ing, rriga ion, ailways, Doc ors, and Lawyers samples of each branch and each talking “ w o o t o his o n shop . It f ll ws th en tha that sh w ” Of technical knowledge for which I was blamed ’ o o ut to later came to me fr m the h rse s mo h, even boredom .

o u t u So so n as my paper co ld r st me a little, at out and I had behaved well r ine work, I was

out t for o t to sent , firs local rep r ings ; then race meetings which included curious nights in the lot - er t . saw o o t y ent (I one g up in flame nce, when - a heated owner hove an oil lamp at the handi capper on the night the owner was coming up for T t election at the Club . hat was the firs and last time I had seen every available black ball ex pended and members begging for more . ) Later I o f - described openings big bridges and such like,

wo th which meant a nig—ht or t with e engineers ; ﬂoods on railways more nights in the wet with wretched heads of repair gangs ; village festivals - and consequent outbreaks of cholera or small p ox communal riots under the shadow of the Mosque

z e t oo of Wa ir Khan, wh re the pa ient waiting tr ps - - lay in timber yards or side alleys till the order 43 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

came to go in and hit the crowds on the feet with - the gun butt (killing in Civil Administration was

h o of o t en reckoned confessi n failure) , and the gr wl - u u ing, ﬂaring, creed dr nk city would be bro ght to ff of a hand without e usion blood, or the appe r ance of any agitated Viceroy ; visits Of Viceroys to neighbouring Princes on the edge of th e great

Indian Desert, where a man might have to wash - his raw hands and face in soda water ; reviews of Armies expecting to move against Russia next

e t t we k ; receptions of an Afghan Potenta e, wi h whom th e Indian Government wished to stand well t u o the K ( his incl ded a walk int hyber, where I was out who shot at, but with malice, by a rapparee ’ disapproved of his ruler s foreign policy) ; murder ob an and divorce trials, and (a really ﬁlthy j ) inquiry into the percentage of lepers among the butchers who supplied beef and mutton to the E u ro ean o e p community of Lah re . (Here I ﬁrst learn d that crude statements of crude facts are not well

ffi a seen by responsible o ci l au thorities . ) It was ’ u e h of n t u how o Sq e rs met od i s r ction, but c uld I fail to be equipped with more than all I might ? need I was saturated with it, and if I tripped

u e e . over detail, the Cl b att nd d to me My ﬁrst bribe was offered to me at the age in of nineteen when I was a Native State where, n of th e naturally, o e concern Administration was ’ to get more guns of honour added to the Ruler s 44

SOMETHING OF MYSELF brother of Phil Robins on who wrote I n My I ndia n

Ga rde n . th him t o Wi , thanks o his predecess r hav

o t o ing licked me int some shape, my rela i ns were - t genial . It was the old matter o f gun salu es again ; the old machinery of th e basket of fruit

n for us ot b ut t and shawls and mo ey b h, this ime u h n Ka left imp dently on t e ofﬁ ce vera dah . y and “ I wasted a happy half-hour pricking Time o ” Da na os et d ona erentes o u t f int the c rrency no es, mourned that we could not take either them or th e

s let t shawl , and the mat er go . My third and most intere s ting bribe was when o rep rting a divorce case in Eurasian society . An immense brown woman penned me in a corner “ and offered if I would b ut keep her name out of ” it to me t t t give most in ima e de ails, which she

her a b e began at once to do . I demanded n me “ ' o Oah . f re bargaining . I am the Respondent ” o That is why I ask y ou . It is hard to rep rt some Bu dramas without Ophelias if not Hamlets . t I was repaid for her ange r when Counsel asked her if she had eve r expressed a desire to dance on her ’ T e she r husband s grave . ill th n had denied eve y “ ” “ h o - - . s e thing Yess, hissed, and I j lly damn well ” wo uld too .

A soldier of my acquaintance had been sen

n - o e u te ced to life impris nm nt for a m rder which,

n the u on evidence ot before co rt, seemed to me him o rathe r justiﬁed . I saw later in Lahore ga l 46 SEVEN YEARS’ H ARD at work on some complicated arrangement of nibs t ff t o u t wi h di eren c lo red inks, s uck into a sort of

oo e l m which, drawn ov r paper, gave the ruling fo r the of t blank forms ﬁnancial s atements . It

t o h of seemed wickedly mono on us . But t e spirit “ man is undefeatable If I made a mistake of ’ an of h t eighth an inc in spacing hese lines, I d

o out all u thr w the acco nts of the Upper Punjab, said he .

to n u the As our readi g p blic, they were at least ” as well educated as ﬁfty per cent of our staff ; and by force of their lives could not be stampeded “ ” o or much thrilled . D uble headlines we had

e e of t n v r heard , nor special type, and I fear hat “ ” the amount of white in the newspapers to-day

o t et would have struck us as c mmon chea ing. Y th e stuff we de alt in would have furnished modern n j ournals of enterprise with almost daily sens atio s .

e m offi - sub-e t My l giti ate ce work was di ing, which meant eternal cuttings-down of unwieldy contribu tions- such as discours es on abstrus e ques tions of Revenue and Assessment from a great and wise Civilian who wrote the vilest hand that e ven our compositors ever saw ; literary articles about Mil

how was o ton . (And I to kn w that the writer was

of one of our o to who h ou a relative pr prie rs, t ght our paper existed to air his theories ?) Here Crom ’ - Price s training in pré cis work helped me to get swiftly at what meat th ere might be in the dis 47 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

orderly messes . There were newspaper exchanges from Egypt to Hong Kong to be skimmed n early

r n n on ee the a eve y mor i g and, ce a w k, English p pers on which one drew in time of need ; local - correspondence from out stations to vet for pos ” sible libels in their innocent allusions ; spo oﬁng letters from subalterns to be guarde d against (twice of the ﬁl I was trapped here) ; always, course, ing of e et o t ! I cabl s, and woe b ide an e—rr r hen took them down from the telephone a primitive and mysterious power whose native Operator broke o t cut- - every w rd in o monosyllables . One and come

fﬂ t o was u t again a ic i n an accursed M scovi e paper, the N ovaie Vrem a t for y , wri ten in French, which,

u the of weeks and weeks, p blished war diaries

Alikhanoff uss e t e r the , a R ian G neral h n har ying f Central Russian Khanates . He gave the name o at u every camp he halted , and reg larly reported that his troops warmed themselves at ﬁres of sax - a ul u o is u . , which I s pp se perhaps sage br sh A week after I had translated the last of the series every remembrance of it passed from my normal memory .

or t Ten twelve years la er, I fell sick in New

n o e York a d passed through a l ng d lirium which,

- e e u by ill chance, I r member d when I ret rned to

A t one t e of it e o ou life . s ag I led an n rm s force - of cavalry mounted on red horse s with brand new

e u the of leather saddl s, nder glare a green moon, across steppes so vast that they revealed the very 48 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD f curve o earth . We would halt at one of the camps named by A likhanoff in his diary (I would see the

e of u ov the of nam it heaving p er edge the planet) ,

r ou s e at f s a x- whe e we warmed r elv s ﬁres o a ul, and

o on one oz where, sc rched side and fr en on th e ot n e her, I sat till my i f rnal squadrons went on - again to the next fore known halt ; and so through the list . ’ ’ In the early 8o s a Liberal Government had come into power at Home and was acting on liberal “ ” n e so s pri cipl , which far as I have ob erved ends

oo . Jus h mat not seldom in bl dshed t t en, it was a ter of principle that Native Judges should try m white wo en . Native in this case meant ove r ’ whelmingly Hindu ; and the Hindu s idea of n women is not lofty. N o o e had asked for any

— h o n such measure least of all t e Judiciary c ncer ed .

But e r t ou . principl is p inciple, h gh the streets swim

r The European community we e much annoyed . — They went to the extremity of revolt that is to say e ven the officials of the Service and their wives ve ry often would not attend the functions and

' of the t e V o u and levees h n icer y, a circ lar bewil

e de red recluse of religious tendencies . A pl as r ant English gentleman called C . P . Ilbe t had - h been imported to fathe r and god father t e Bill .

he too was t e . Our I think , , a li tle bewild red paper,

of th u o an t t m like most e E r pe Press, began wi h s e

the su u s disapproval of mea re, and, I fancy, p bli hed 49 SOMETHING OF MYSELF much comment and correspondence which would “ ” now be called disloyal .

One evening, while putting th e paper to bed,

o th I was the I l oked as usual over e leader . t sort of - - ff t t false balanced, semi j udicial stu ha some English journals wrote about the Indian White

’ e 1 2 to u Pap r from 93 34, and like them it f rnished ’ a barely disguised exposition of the Government s - n high ideals . In after life o e got to know that tou h o the c better, but it ast nished me at time, and I

a e it . sk d my Chief what all meant He replied, as I should have done in his place : None of your ’ u t dam b siness, and, being married, wen to his

o . to u h me I repaired the Cl b which, remember,

the o of was wh le my outside world .

the - oo As I entered long, shabby dining r m where

sat one t o . we all at able, every ne hissed I was “ ’ innocent enough to ask : What s the j oke ? Who ” “ ” t ? You are hey hissing , said the man at my “ ’

o dam t th . s ide . Y ur rag has ra ted over e Bill I t is not pleasant to sit still when one is twenty o while all your universe hisses y u . Then uprose

t our ut t of V t : a Cap ain, Adj an olun eers, and said “ ’ ’ Stop that ! The boy s only doing what he s paid ff to do . t o The demons ration tailed , but I had T h seen a great light . e Adjutant was entirely

was o d was orre . t o c ct I a hireling, paid what I — to do and I not e . o e paid , did relish the id a S m “ ’ one s aid kindly : You damned young ass ! Don t 50 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD you know that your paper has th e Government ” t - ? did it b prin ing contract I know , ut I had never ut two o t before p two and t ge her . A few months later one of my two chief pro p rietors received the decoration that made him a Kn ight . Then I began to take much inte rest in

ot oo the certain smo h Civilians, who had seen g d in Government measure and had somehow been

t out of fol shif ed the heat to billets in Simla . I u t lowed nder shrewd guidance, often na ive, the many pretty ways by which a Government can put veiled pressure on its employee s in a land where ’ eve ry circumstance and relation of a man s life is

o . the o public pr perty So, when great and ep ch tu u t t t making India Bill rned p ﬁf y years la er, I fel - - as one t e treading the tortuous by ways of his

On o n e youth . e rec g ised the very phras s and as s of the t o oo urances old days s ill d ing g d work,

in e for the t and waited, as a dr am, very sligh ly altered fo rmulas in which those who were part ing with their convictions excused themselves . “

T : ou . A t hus I may act as a brake, y know any ’ rate I m keeping a more extreme man out of the ” “ ’ ens to the game . There s no s e running counter — - inevitable and all the other Devil provided - - - - camouﬂage for the sinner who faces both ways . ’ In 85 I was made a Freemason by dispensation (Lodge Hope and Perseverance 782 being the under age, because Lodge hoped for a good 5 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

r . b ut Secreta y They did not get him, I helped,

ot to the and g the Father advise, in decorating bare walls of the Masonic Hall with hangings after ’ o of the prescripti n Solomon s Temple . Here I

u k e of th e met Muslims, Hind s, Si hs, m mbers Araya

Jew t was and Brahmo Samaj , and a yler, who priest and butcher to his little community in th e city . So yet another world opened to me which

e I n eded . My Mother and Sister would go up to the Hills

the and due u t for hot weather, in co rse my Fa her

own too. My holiday came when I could be

. u o t a o the ous spared Th s I f en lived l ne in big h e,

e o o n t oo as e wh re I c mmanded by ch ice a ive f d , l ss

o n th t- oo s o e rev lti g an mea c kery, and add d indi

o o t m o gesti n t my more in i ate p ssessions . — - In those months mid-April to mid October ’ one took up one s bed and walked about wi th it

o to e from ro m room, seeking for less heat d air ; or s lept on the ﬂat roof with th e waterman to throw - ’ half s kinfuls of wate r on one s parched carcase .

- t o This brought on fever but saved heat s r ke . Often the night got into my head as it had done

th o - ou in the o o o in e b arding h se Br mpt n R ad, and I would wande r till dawn in all manner of odd

e — u - n o um- plac s liq or shops, gambli g and pi dens,

not s e u which are a bit my t rio s, wayside entertain

s u et-s o n t or ments uch as p pp h ws, a ive dances ; in and about the narrow gullies under the Mosque of 52

SOMETHING OF MYSELF night when we ate tinned haggis with cholera in “ ” m to o the canton ents see what w uld happen, and another when a savage stallion in harness was pre

r hot of o utto sented with a ve y leg r ast m n, as he o snapped . The retically this is a cure for biting, it but only made him more of a cannibal . I got to meet the soldiery of those days in visits to o o e at F rt Lah re and, in a less degr e, Mian Mir

o t Cantonments . My ﬁrst and best bel ved Ba talion

th e 2md usiliers was Fifth F , with whom I dined in Wh awed silence a few weeks after I came out . en t th oth they left I took up wi h eir successors, the 3

e - u r East Lancashire, anoth r North co nt y regiment ;

t 1 st u —a o and, last, wi h the 3 East S rrey Lond n

o of u do - o recruited c nfederacy skilf l g stealers, s me of them my good and loyal friends . There were ghostly dinners too with Subalterns in charge of the o o Infantry Detachment at F rt Lah re, where, all - t t of among marble inlaid, emp y apar ments dead

u or u the o of old Q eens, nder d mes tombs, meals began with the regulation thirty grains of quinine — the r ! in sher y, and ended as Allah pleased

the wa one of the who I am, by y , few civilians - ’ have turned out a Quarte r Guard of Her Maj esty s I t t 2 troops . was on a chill win er morn, about

he o ou u o e M . t A . at F rt, and th gh I s pp se I had be n given the counters ign on my departure from th e

o it th e u Mess, I f rgot ere I reached Main G ard, and when challenged announced myself spaciously 54 SEVE N YEARS’ HARD

“ t as Visi ing Rounds . When the men had clat tered out I asked the Sergeant if he had ever seen o o of ou a ﬁner c llecti n sc ndrels . That cost me beer

but o by the gallon, it was w rth it.

no to Having position consider, and my trade

o enforcing it, I could m ve at will in the fourth dimension . I came to realise the bare ho rrors of ’ th t the private s life, and e unnecessary tormen s he endured on account of the Christian doctrine “ ” o t which lays d wn hat the wages of sin is death . I t was counted irnpious that baz aar prostitutes should be inspected ; or that the men should be taught elementary precautions in their dealings fﬁ in with them . This o cial virtue cost our Army India nine thousand expensive white men a year

V o always laid up from vene real disease . isits t

Lo t me t ck Hospi als made desire, as earnes ly as - I da t I t e s ix u —do to y , hat migh hav h ndred pr—iests Bishops of the Establishment for choice to handle for six months precisely as the soldiers of

my youth were handled . Heaven knows the men died fas t enough from

e to t n t do typhoid, which s emed have some hi g o

t b ut u or wi h water, we were not s re ; from cholera, which was manifestly a breath of the D—evil th at could kill all on one side of a barrack room and spare the others from seasonal fever ; or from what “ ” - o was described as blood pois ning.

o t -in- Lord R berts, at that ime Commander Chief 55 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

who was in India, knew my people, interested in th e —I ne or two men, and had by then written o — stories about soldiers the proudest moment of my young life was when I rode up Simla Mall on beside him his usual explosive red Arab , while he asked me what the men th ought about their - te me o the . accommodation, en rtain nt r oms and like o him t as l I t ld , and he hanked me grave y as though I had been a full Colonel . ’ a t m or My month s leave Si la, whatever Hill

t o t to was u — S ation my pe ple wen , p re j oy every I t in t golden hour counted . began hea and dis

o . n o comfort, by rail and r ad It e ded in the c ol ’ o in n e o evening, with a w od ﬁre o e s b dro m, and — — next morn thirty more of them ahead the early

of t u the cup tea, the Mo her who bro ght it in, and

o long talks of us all t gether again . One had lei

u to too at t - o s re work, , wha ever play w rk was in ’ o was u u u ne s head, and that s ally f ll .

as o w o Simla w an ther ne w rld . There the Hier one s aw archy lived, and and heard the machinery of administration stripped bare . There were th e Heads of the Viceregal and Military staffs and - their Aides-de Camp ; and playing whist with Great

n who e the o O es, gave him sp cial news, was C rre s ondent of our - th e ioneer p big sister paper P , then

o a p wer in the land .

te b ut not the u of o The da s, pict res, th se holi

u our t o days are bl rred . At one time lit le w rld was 56 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD full of the aftermaths of Theosophy as taught by t to t Madame Blava sky her devotee s . My Fa her k the t ou u new lady and, wi h her, w ld disc ss wholly

u t n to secular s bjec s ; she bei g, he ld me, one of the most interes ting and unscrupulous impostors he had

. t e ever met This, wi h his exp rience, was a high

m was n t o . ot so o u t b ut c pliment I f r na e, came

o ee old e who acr ss qu r, bewildered, p ople, lived in “ ” an atmosphere of manifestations running about

th e their houses . But e earli st days of Theosophy

ioneer o to devastated the P , wh se Edi r became a

u e u th e for ro a devo t beli ver, and sed paper p p ganda to an extent which got on the nerves not only of u but of oo - t the p blic a pr f reader, who at the las moment salted an impassioned leader on the sub “ ect : What d o o u bet this is a j with, in brackets y ’ ” dam lie ? The Editor was most untheosophically angry ! n f —I On o e o my—Simla leaves had been ill with dysentery again I was sent off for rest along the - Himal aya T ibet road in the company of an in f u valid o ﬁce—r and his wife . My eq ipment was my servant he from whose hands I had fed in - the Native State before mentioned ; Dorothea Dar

ff alias o bisho , D lly Bobs, a temperamental she - pony ; and four baggage coolies who were re n c ruited and cha ged at each stage . I knew the edge of the great Hills both from Simla and Dal

u ho sie, but had never marched any distance into 57 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

T them . hey were to me a revelation of all might,

o for majesty, dominion, and power, hencef rth and ”

o u o . ever, in c lo r, f rm, and substance indescribable A little of what I realised then came back to me Kim in . —m On the day I turned bac—k for Simla y com panions were going furth er my servant embroiled himself with a new quartette of coolies and man

c aged to ut the eye of one of them . I was a few

e man score miles from the n arest white , and did

e o not wish to be haled b f re any little Hill Rajah, knowing as I did that the coolies would unitedly

e sw ar that I had directed th e outrage . I therefore

o - one and t t paid blo d m y, stra egically wi hdrew on foot for th e mos t part becaus e Dolly Bobs obj ected to every sight and most of the smells of h n t e . to oo la dscape I had keep the c lies who, like

t ou not ut of the poli icians, w ld stay p , in front me six- o - t on the f ot wide rack, and, as is ever the case fﬁ u . when one is in di c lties, it set in to rain My ’ urgent busine—ss was to make my ﬁrst three days march in one a matter of thirty odd miles . My coolies wanted to shy off to their village and spend - o h their ill gotten silver . On me devel ped t e heart

e not br aking j ob of shepherding a retreat . I do think my mileage that day could have been much les s than forty miles of sheer up-hill and down-dale

s o But it o l gging . did me great g od, and enabled me to put away bottles of strong Army beer at 58 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

’ the wet evening s end in the resthouse . On our last day, a thunderstorm, which had been at work few t a housand feet below us, rose to the level of the ridge we were cross ing and exploded in our s . un on our and mid t We were all ﬂ g faces, when I was able to see again I obs erved the half of - e ne t a well grown pin , as a ly split lengthwise

t n the act of r n as a ma ch by a pe knife, in hi pli g

o t Th t n e d wn the s eep hillside by itself. e hu d r

r t t t it e to b e os drowned eve y hing, so ha seem d p u um h0 t ring in d b show, and when it began to p — — horrible vertical hops the effect was of pure

D.T . o who My co lies, however, had had the tale

of o t e s o u t a my misdeeds fr m heir pred ce s rs, arg ed h t if the local Gods missed such a sitting shot as I

e u not t t un u . had giv n them, I co ld be al oge her l cky It was on this trip that I saw a happy family

of ou out for a to e t e all t f r bears a w lk g h —r, alking at the t ops of their voices ; and al so the sun on

his ou e e o me—I a n wings, a th sand f et b l w st red lo g

e e e u n of e t at a whe ling agl , himself tho sa ds f e

o the - e t n ab ve map like vall y he was quar eri g . On my return I handed my servant ove r to his

th who e t t u t him for n fa er, d al fai hf lly wi h havi g ’ n Bu imperilled my Father s so . t what I did not

e was t t m t un u t ll him ha y servan , a P jabi M slim, had in his ﬁrs t panic embraced the feet of the in

u e - oo e n and e e to j r d hill c li , a heathe , b gg d him “ ” m v nt e o e . u e sh w rcy A ser a , precisely b ca s he is a 59 SOMETHI NG OF MYSELF

iz z at— —o r the servant, has his his honour , as Chi “ ”

sa . he u . nese y , his face Save th at, and is yo rs ’ One should never rate one s man before others ;

t li ation of nor, if he knows tha you know the irnp c the ou u on ou words that y are sing him, should y

and But u ever use certain words phrases . to a yo ng

raw or old one o man from England, to an in wh se

one e n n tte . service has grown gr y, a ythi g is permi d “ In the ﬁrst case : He is a youngster. He slangs ” u as his girl has ta ght him, and the man keeps his ’ countenance even though his master s worst words t o - th are inﬂec ed w man fashion . In e second case, “ the aged servitor and deputy-conscience says : It is

u . n Ah ! ou na ght We were you g men together . y ” should have heard him then ! The reward for this very small consideration is service of a kind that one accepted as a matter of

o s —t n o c ur e ill o e was without it . My man w uld go monthly to the local Bank and draw my pay in

u ou o coined r pees, which he w ld carry h me raw in

t- the o z his wais band, as wh le ba aar knew, and

t old o ou decant in o an wardr be, whence I w ld draw

o for my needs till there remained no m re .

Yet was s s o o u , it nece ary to his pr fessi nal hono r that he should pres ent me monthly a list of petty — disbursements on my pe rsonal behalf such as oil the - o for for buggy lamps, b otlaces, thread darn

utto the — ing my socks, b ns replaced and like all - - written out in baz aar Engli sh by the letter writer

SOMETHI N G OF MYSELF

’ e t t u This t mpta ion was s ronger in one s own ho se, though one knew if one broke the ritual of dressing for the last meal one was parting with a sheet n - ancho r . ( Young ge tlemen of larger views to day “ - - ” cons ider this dres s for dinner bus ine ss as an af “ ” f cta n e tio ranking with the old school tie . I

’ would give some months pay for the privilege of en t the ut ligh ening them . ) Here b ler would take “ o h o m charge . F r t e honour of the h use there ust

ha be a dinner . I t is long since the Sahib s bidden

u ot t u friends to eat . I wo ld pr est like a fre f l child . He would reply : Except for the names of the Sahibs to be invited all things are on my ” du u u ﬁve o head . So one g p fo r or compani ns

o t u s o a o in disc mfor ; the pitif l, c rched m rig ld

ou on the t e to u blooms w ld appear abl and, a f ll

o n of the acc mpa iment glass, silver, and napery, ’ u t u ritual wo ld be worked hro gh, and the butler s

o hon ur satisfied for a while . u u u t u At the Cl b, s dden ca seless ha es flared p between friends and died down like straw fires ; old grievances were recalled and brooded over - aloud ; the complaint book bristled with accus a

of to o tions and inve ntions . All which came n th

th and t h ing when e ﬁrst Rains fell , af er a t ree ’ nd n s o days siege of creeping a crawling thi g , wh se bodies stopped our billiards and almos t put out th z z e u the e lamps they si led in, life pick d p in blessed cool . 62 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

Bu i was s t t . u e a trange life Once, s dd nly, in - the Club ante room a man asked a neighbour to “ ” him the e e pass n wspap r . Get it yourself, was - hot t o on the wea her answer . The man r se but his way to the table dropped and writhed in the t f ﬁrs grip o cholera . He was carrie d to his quar t the o o for t s ers, D ct r came, and hree day he went through all the stages of the disease even to the t t f o o m T charac eris ic baring o disc l ured gu s . hen he

tu to on o e t : re rned life and , being cond l d wi h, said “ t n u to et the but t I remember get i g p g paper, af er ’ ou m o o t e e e that, give y y w rd , I d n r m mb r a thing till I heard Lawrie say that I was coming out of

e o o t it . I hav heard since that oblivi n is s me imes vouchsafed .

T u t o o t ho gh I was spared the wors h rr rs, hanks

e u e of o a t for e n e to to the pr ss r w rk, a c paci y b i g abl

e the su of t was r ad, and plea re wri ing what my head

t e u ee hot t e o e ﬁlled wi h, I felt ach s cc ding wea h r m r

or o e in sou it u ne . and m e, and c wer d my l as ret r d “ ” This is ﬁt place for a pivot experience to be set side by s ide with the affair of the Adj utant of

a h n ho Volunteers t t e Club . It happened o e t ’ 86 or out weather evening, in thereab s, when I

t o to e e ra felt tha I had c me the dg of all endu nce . As I entered my empty house in the dusk there was no more in me except the horror of a great dark

t t u t e e t for so . ness, ha I m s hav be n ﬁgh ing me days

e ou t t b ut how do I cam thr gh ha darkness alive, I 63 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

not o kn w . Late at night I picked up a book by Walter Besant which was called All in a Garden

F air. It dealt with a young man who desired to write ; who came to realise the possibilities of com

and u e e mon things seen, who eventually s cc ed d

in his desire . What its merits may be from to ’ “ ” Bu day s literary standpoint I do not know . t I do know that that book was my salvation in

o t th e e re sore pers nal need, and wi h r ading and

n it e t o 0 readi g became to me a rev la i n, a h pe and

. e t u strength I was c r ainly, I arg ed, as well

u —and— eq ipped as the hero and after all , there

o was no need for me to stay he re for ever . I c uld go away and measure myself against the doorsills

of London as soon as I had money . Therefore I

ou to o e e t w ld begin save m ney, for I p rc ived here was absolutely no reason outside myself why I m should not d o exactly what to me see ed good . oo of t on o but For pr f my revela i I did , sp radically

e e to s u u sinc r ly, try ave money, and I b ilt in my — p head always with the book to fall back upon

t . T o a dream of the future that sus ained me —Wal ter Besant singly and solely do I owe this as I

met and u e o told him when we , he la gh d, r lled in

his e . chair, and seemed pleas d

the o of Ka s ec In joy us reign y Robinson, my

our e . ond Chief, pap r changed its shape and type This took up for a week or so all hours of the - - twenty four and cost me a break down due to lack 64 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

of . tw h sleep But we o were proud of t—e results . One new feature was a daily turnover same as — the little pink Gl obe at Home of one column and “ ” u . offi to su a q arter Naturally, the ce had p ply most o f them and once more I was forced to t o wri e sh rt . All the queer outside world would drop into — our workshop sooner or late r s ay a Captain just for o o cashiered h rrible drunkenness, who rep rted t his fall wi h a wry, appealing face, and then

d o . ol u t e disappeared Or a man eno gh be my fath r, on the edge of tears because he had been over passed for Honours in the Gaz ette . Or three oo of one of was tr pers the Ninth Lancers, whom an old schoolmate of mine who became a General with an expedition of his own in West Africa in

The ot two o the Great War . her als were gentle - m t men rankers who rose to high commands . One e men going up and down the ladder in every shape n of mis ery a d s uccess . The re was a night at the Club when some silly - idiot found a half dead viper and brought it to

- com dinner in a pickle bottle . One man of the pany kept messing about with the furious little - beast on the table cloth till he had to be warned

f w o . e to take his hands away A weeks after, s me of us realised it would have been better had he accomplished what had been in his foreboding mind that night . 65 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

But th e cold weath er brought amp—le amends . The family were together again and e xcept for ’ my Mother s ukase against her men bringing bound

o u of I ll ustr ed L o do N ews v l mes the at n n —to meals (a survival of hot-weather savagery) all was ’ . So the o e of ou bliss , in c ld w ather 85 we f r made u t nn ar ette p a Chris mas a ual called Qu t , which pleased us a gre at deal and attracted a certain be oun a tten o . t u te am t of ti n (La er, m ch la r, it “ ’ ” - e o the S . oo cam a collect r s piece in U b k market, and to that extent smudged the happy memories of ’ its birth . ) In 85 I began a se rie s of tales in the Civil a nd Milita ry Gaz e tte which were called Plain

Tales rom e il s T e f th H l . h y came in when and as ’ n was u paddi g needed . In 86 also I p blished a

o t o of n s e e on o- e c llec i n ew paper v rs s Angl Indian lif ,

a De artmental Ditties e t c lled p , which, d aling wi h t o uffe eo e hings kn wn and s red by many p pl , were h to e e e e . o u w ll r c iv d I had been all wed, f rt er,

tuff t no use for send s that we, edi orially, had , to far-off utt u I ndi o Calc a papers, s ch as the g ’ la nters Gaz ette . e P , and elsewhere Th se things were making for me the beginnings of a name even unto Bengal . But mark how discreetly the cards were being ’ a t o n e de lt me . Up ill 87 my perf rma ces had b en veil ed in the decent obs cu rity of the far end of an out o e o e u lying pr vinc , am ng a sp cialised comm nity who did not interest any b ut themselves . I was 66 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

ou o for u - u t like a y ng h rse entered small, p co n ry

t u et s even s where I co ld g u ed to noise and crowds,

ou un and n e fall ab t till I fo d my feet, lear to ke p

my head with the hoofs drumming behind me . “ the of ffi - or oo Better than all, pace my o ce w k was t

o to u —t a o go d inq ire, and its nature h t I sh uld realise all sorts and conditions of men and make — “ ” others realise them gave me no time to realise

myself. Here was my modest notion of my own posi ’ tion at the end of my ﬁve years Viceroyalty on

t iv i z t the lit le C il a nd Mil tary Ga ette . I was s ill t the to ff t ou for a ﬁfty per cen of edi rial sta , h gh

But— us t while I rose to have a man under me . j — “ ” are th e Gods that varlet was literary and - “ ” mus t needs write Elia like turnovers ins tead of

to the t ! o k to sticking legi imate Any fo l , I new b - o o o te . ob to su t my s rr w, c uld wri My j was edi

A n ot e him or her into some sort of shape . y h r

o u t fool could review . (I myself n rgen call have reviewed the later works of a writer called Brown

t t a out tha t un ing, and wha my Fa her said b was “ ” e was m no e u e publishable . ) R porting a i r f at r ,

w no s t o s ua although e did t u e hat w rd . I my elf g reporter could turn in stuff one day and qua sub editor knock it remo rseles sly into cocked hats the

T he ff e t t n the next . di erenc , hen, be wee me and “ ” e who t for s saw vulgar h rd wri e paper was, as I it the th e beneﬁced m , gulf that divides clergy an 67 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

from ladies and gentlemen who contribute pump and o kins dahlias to Harvest Festival decorati ns . T o say that I magniﬁed my ofﬁ ce is to understate . But this may have saved me from magnifying myself beyond decency. ’ In 87 orders came for me to serve on the

ioneer our - hun P , big sister paper at Allahabad,

of to ut u dreds miles the so hward, where I sho ld be one of four at least and a new b oy at a big school . But t - t the Nor h West Provinces, as hey were “ i u then, be ng largely Hind , were strange air and

t to . o u wa er me My life had lain am ng M slims, and a man leans one way or other according to his - . T he o t u ﬁrst service large, well app in ed Cl b, where Poker had j ust driven out Whist and men

u was u of - o ofﬁ gambled serio sly, f ll large b re cials, and of a respectability all new . The Fort where troops were quartered had its points ; b ut one bas tion j utted out into a most holy river . There u o fore, partially b rned c rpses made such a habit ’ of stranding just below the Subalterns quarters that a Special expert was entertained to pol e them

o t e e o off and onward . In F r Lahore w d alt in n th ing worse than ghosts .

ioneer of Moreover, the P lived under the eye its o o n of chief pr priet r, who spent several mo ths

is each year in his bungalow over the way. It true

t o n but tha I wed him my cha ce in life, when one 68

SOMETHING OF MYSELF monastery when he was bidden decorate them ! ’ “ ’ ” Twas ask and have ; Choose , for more s ready, with a vengeance . I fancy my change of surroundings and outlook

u h n it precipitated the r sh . At t e begi ning of I

e had an experience which, in my innoc nce, I mis took for the genuine motions of my Daemon . I mus t have been loaded more heavily than I realised “ ” t for t to as wi h Gyp, here came me in scenes s tereosc0pically clear as those in the crystal an

- o r Anglo Indian A ut ur d a M a iage . My pen took t t charge and I, grea ly admiring, wa ched it write

n h e u t for me far i to the nights . T e r s l I christened

The Stor o the Gadsb s t a y f y , and when it ﬁrs p p eared in England I was complimented on my ” h o t im knowledge of t e w rld . Af er my indecent

tu t to of . ma ri y came light, I heard less these gifts “ ’ Y et as o : I t l , the Father said l yally wasn t a l so ’ ”

u . dam bad, R ddy

A t t it t o Wee kl to any ra e wen int the y , gether

t n a of wi h soldier tales, I di n tales, and tales the

o t . of th pposi e sex There was one is last which,

u of u u to the ot e beca se a do bt, I handed p M h r, who abolished it and wrote me : N ever y ou d o that B off no a ain . ut to u t g I did and managed p ll , “ ” un o e handily, a tale called A Wayside C m dy, “ where I worke d hard for a certain economy o f ” t o in one o f e oz e implica i n, and phrase l ss than a d n

o t o t words believed I had succeeded . M re han f r y 70 SEVEN YEARS’ HARD

t o o o of years la er a Frenchman, br wsing ab ut s me

old o o my w rk, qu ted this phrase as the cl ou of th e t I t b e tale and the key to its me hod . was a “ ” o o t lated w rkshop c mpliment that I apprecia ed .

o th Thus, then, I made my wn experiments in e

u and t f o weights, colo rs, perfumes, a tributes o w rds

o to t o t u so in relati n o her w rds, ei her as read alo d

t or tt o e th that hey may hold the ear, , sca ered v r e

the e e . e is n page, draw y Th re o line of my verse or prose which has not been mouth ed till the tongue has oo o r made all sm th , and mem ry, after many e

t i s r ci als, has mechanically sk pped the gros e super ﬂ uities .

T u o t t b ut — hese things occ pied and c n en ed me, outside of them- I felt that I did not quite ﬁt ’ the Pioneer s scheme of th ings and that my su

erior f n o o on p s were o the same opi i n . My w rk h ee was no t m t e W /cly t legitima e j ournalis . My ﬂipp ancy in handling what I was trusted with was - not well seen by the Government or th e depart

t oﬂi cialism on the oneer t men al , which Pi righ ly

e for e t th e depend d advanc and priva e news, ga red in at Simla or Calcutta by our most important

o o Chie f Corresp ndent . I fancy my wners thought me safer on the road than in my chair ; for th ey

n me out to o t t se t lo k at Native S a e mines, mills, factories and the like . Here I think they were

o e o at entirely j ustiﬁed . My pr pri t r Allahabad had his own game to play (it brought him his 7 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- to well deserved knighthood in due course) and, some extent, my vagaries might have embarrassed

him. One ionee w . r , I kno , did The P editorially, but cautiously as a terrier drawing up to a porcu ’ f o s pine, had hinted that some o L rd Robert mili tary appointments at that time verged on nepotism . - It was a regretful and well balanced allocution . My rhymed comment ( and why my Chief passed it ! u t he not I know not ) said j s t same thing, but quite of so augustly. All I remember it are the last two ﬂagrant lines

A nd if the Pioneer is wrath

Lor w at must ou be ! Oh d, h y

’ o o I don t think L rd R berts was pleased with it, but I know he was not half so annoyed as my chief proprietor . n O my side I was ripe for change and, thanks

A i a Garden F air now always to ll n , had a notion of where I was heading. My absorption in the

ioneer Weehl P y stories, which I wanted to ﬁnish, o the of had put my plans t back my head, but when I came out of that furiou s spell of work towards ’ the end of 88 I rearranged myself. I wanted

t u . money for the fu ure . I co nted my assets They came to one book of verse ; one ditto prose ; and — ’ — thanks to the Pioneer s permission a set of six small paper-backed railway bookstall volum—es em bodying most of my tales in the Weekly copy 72 SEVEN YEARS’ HA RD

t ione er righ of which the P might well have claimed . The man who then controlled the Indian railway

oo t an m e u to b ks alls came of i aginative rac , sed - taking chances . I sold him the six pape r backed

o for £200 le b oks and a small royalty . Plain Ta s

rom the H ills for £ 0 o t how f I sold 5 , and I f rge much the same publisher gave me for Departmental D i a itt es . (This w s th e ﬁrs t and last time I ever dealt direct with publishe rs . ) ’ o t e t t s ix t F r iﬁ d wi h this weal h, and mon hs pay

u t for wa in lie of notice, I lef India England by y of the t t t te six Far Eas and the Uni ed S ates, af r and a half years of hard work and a reas onable

m God-s e h a ount of sickness . My pe d came from t e

an n n of ou o er m agi g director, a ge tleman s nd c mm cial t who e o e his ins incts, had nev r c nc aled belief t t o e who ha I was gr ssly ov rpaid, and , when he paid ’ : e it ro me ou me my last wages, said Tak f m , y ll never be worth more than four hundred rupees a ” o o o e month to any ne . C mm n pride bids me t ll that at that time I was drawing seven hundred a month . Accounts were squared between us curiously

oo . t t u o s n When my no orie y fell p n me, there was

u e a demand for my old proofs, signed and nsign d s uff not u e o and e u t incl d d in my bo ks, a g neral t rn - ing out of refuse bins for private publication and u of t oo sale . This pset my hopes edi ing my b ks

o ou t con decently and resp nsibly, and wr gh general 73 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

u o But oneer f si n . I was told later that the Pi had made as much out of its share in this remnant t raﬂi c as it had paid me in wages since I ﬁrst a landed . (Which shows how one cannot get head of gentlemen of sound comm ercial instincts . ) Yet a man must needs love anything that he ff a t has worked and su ered under . When, long

’ ionee — n t o t im last, the P r I dia s grea est and m s - portant paper which used to pay twenty seven per

e — n c nt to its shareholders fell o evil days and,

e and e t to after being b devilled b wi ched, was sold

e ot on a syndicate, and I receiv d a n iﬁcati begin “ ning : We think y ou may be interested to know

etc . t u ous o e un . that, , I fel c ri ly al n and sponsored

But t u o the tt my ﬁrst mis ress and most tr e l ve, li le

Civil a nd Militar Ga z e tte e the orm . y , weath red st

s are t u : Even if I wrote them, the e lines r e

T r he no man rea s ol loose y as will , b k wh ly m a ter wh he e F rom his ﬁ rst love, no t o s b .

was t ere e er sa or free to oose Oh , h v il ch , ’ ? T hat didn t settl e som e where near th e sea

Parsons in ul ts tax—a ers in e s p pi , p y p w , K n s on our t rones ou now as wel as me i g y h , y k l , ’ We e on one r n t to lo e v ly vi gi i y s , A nd where we l ost it there our h earts will be !

e or t old And, b sides, there is, was, a table in my “ ” L o ofﬁ se n t ah re ce as rti g tha here I worked . And Allah knows that is true also !

74 T H E I N T E RREGN UM

T he youth who daily further from the E ast Must travel

WORDSWORT H .

’ A N D the tum of t nto , in au n 89, I s epped i a sort of n r am to tte of ou waki g d e when I ok, as a ma r c rse, the fantastic cards that Fate was pleased to deal me . T he ancient landmarks of my boyhood still

o T the o unt st od . here were bel ved A and Uncle, the t e u e of the T L e li tl ho s hree Old adi s, and in one corner of it th e quiet ﬁgure by the ﬁreplace h composedly writing her next novel on er knee .

at the u es of - t e t r It was q iet t tea par i s, in his ci cle,

met a K n e the s t o that I ﬁrst M ry i gsl y, brave w man o f all my knowledge . We talked a good deal over

h u o re e om t t e c ps, and m whil walking h e af er — wards she of Wes t African cannibals and the “ A t s the o ett s : like . la t, w rld forg ing, I aid Come ’ up to my rooms and we ll talk it out there She

e ou e e e agre d, as a man w ld, th n sudd nly rem m ’

: or ot was o . bering said Oh, I f g I a w man Fraid ’ ” n e th t I must t . So I realis d a my world was all

to explore again . 75 SOMETHING OF MYSELF — a — but A few very few people in it had died, no one expected to do so for ano ther twenty years . ’ White women stood and waite d on one behind one s chair . I t was all whirlingly outside my compre h n i n e s o .

But my small stock-in-trade of books had b e come known in certain quarters ; and there was an e en not h vid t demand for my stuff. I do recall t at t I stirred a hand o help myself . Things happened

to . t t n to o o me I wen , by invita io , M wbray M rris,

’ t o f Ma cmillan s M a a z ne the edi or g i , who asked me how old was and o I , when I told him I h ped to

t - u the : o be twen y fo r at end of the year, said Go d ” God ! He took from me an Indian tale and some t verses, which la ter he wisely edited a little . They we re both publis hed in the same numbe r of the — Magaz ine one signed by my name and the other “ ” s f o h Yu suf. All o this c nﬁrmed t e feeling (which “ has o at t t ou c me back in ervals hr gh my life) , Lord ’ f ” on t e o . ha mercy me, his is non I

T o e s e for hen m re tal s were a k d , and the editor ’ he a mes s Gaz ette t t of t St . J wan ed s ray articles, “ ” n n tu t sig ed and u s igned . My rnover raining on the Civil a nd Militar th e y made is asy for me, and somehow I felt easier with a daily paper under my right elbow . About this time was an interview in a weekly

e e e t m r the o paper, wh r I f l yself ather on wr ng side of the counter and that I ought to b e question 76

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

justiﬁably, have it remembered against them . The

one f beloved Aunt, or any o the Three Old Ladies, would have given to me without que stion ; b ut that seemed too like confessing failure at the outset . - My rent was paid ; I had my dre ss suit ; I had noth ing to pawn save a collection of unmarked shirts picked up in all th e ports ; so I made shift to man ou age what small cas h I had in pocket . My rooms were above an establishment of Harris

K who for tu e the Sausage ing, , pp nce, gave as much sausage and mash as would carry one from break fast to dinner when one dined with nice people a who did not e t sausage for a living . Another

u me e t ppence found a ﬁlling supp r . The excellent

a u tobacco of those d ys was, nless you sank to “ “ threepenny Shag or soared to sixpenny Turk ” e the -oun : ish, tuppenc half ce and fourpence,

u of w which incl ded a pewter beer or porter, as the ’ t price of admission to Gat i s . was of It here, in the company an elderly but ub upright barmaid from a p near by, that I lis tened to the obse rved and compelling songs of t o u the Lion and Mammo h C miq es, and the shriller — “ ” - strains but equally observed of the Bessies

o u e and Bellas, wh m I co ld h ar arguing beneath my t t - window wi h heir cab drivers, as they sped from

One o t m Hall to Hall . lady s me i es delighted us - —“ ’ ’ with viva voce ve rsions of what as just ap ’ ’ ” u ou pened to me o tside ere, if y ll believe it . Then 78 THE I N TERREGNUM

u n to she wo ld plu ge in brilliant improvisations . Oh,

! of us e t we believed Many had, p rhaps, aken part

the t of t r m she in ail tha a gu ent at the doors, ere o st rmed in .

o ono hO e to Th se m logues I could never p rival ,

the the oa the oo - o but smoke, r r, and g d fell wship ’ “ ” of relaxed humanity at Gatti s set the scheme

r o for a certain s ort of song. The P ivate S ldier in

India I thought I knew fairly well . His English brothe r (in the Guards mostly) sat and sang at

o n t o for ee o u my elb w any igh I ch se ; and , Gr k ch r s, — I had the comm ents of my barmaid deeply and dispassionately versed in all knowl edge of evil as she had watched it across the z inc she was always m t off. s o e swabbing (Hence, years la er, verses “ ” t o e on t she called Mary, pi y W men, bas d wha ’ ’ told me about a friend 0 mine 00 was mistook ’ in er The outcome was the ﬁrst of some - verses called Barrac/e Room Ba llads which I showed to en o f the S cots te N a tional Obs erver H ley , la r , who wanted more ; and I became for a while one of the happy company who used to gather in a little res taurant off Leices ter Square and regulate all lit

r erature till all hours of the mo ning . ’ I had the greate st admiration for Henley s verse

os u t th e and pr e and, if s ch hings be merchandise in

o u o next w rld, will cheerf lly sell a large proporti n of t I e tt for t wha h—av wri en a single medi a—tion illumination inspiration or what y ou please that 79 SOMETHING OF MYSELF he wrote on the A ra bian N ights in a tiny book of

e Essays and R views . — As regards his free verse I plus some Chianti — once p ut forward the old notion that free verse was like ﬁshing with barbless hooks Henley re e w n . I t as pli d volcanically , said he, the cade ces ” t t it . T t e b he to ha did hat was ru ; ut alone, my

u e mind, co ld handle them aright, b ing a Master

r C aftsman who had paid for his app enticeship . ’ t e of u s to Henley s demeri s w re, co r e, explained the o o w rld by l ving friends afte r his death . I had the o u to o him o n ou f rt ne kn w nly as kind, ge er s, and

e e to th e of t the a j w l of an edi r, with gift fe ching

t out t t o t ou very bes of his cat le, wi h w rds hat w ld

o o . u t o ast nish xen He had, f r her, an rganic loath ing of Mr . Gladstone and all Liberalis m . A Gov ernment Commission of Enqui ry was sitting in those days on some unusually blatant traﬂi c in murder among the Irish Land Leaguers ; and had white

e the o u o o o wash d wh le crowd . Where p n, I wr te s me “ ” impolite ve rses called Cleared ! which at ﬁrst The Times seemed ready to take b ut on second thoughts

o e to to declined . I was rec mm nded carry them a n mo thly review of sorts edited by a Mr . Frank Har ris o o e to b e the one u , wh m I disc v red h man being

t t ou no te et on t . too e ha I c ld on rms g wi h He, , shi d at to e e the verses, which I referred H nl y, who, hav in no e of o t u t sens p li ical decency, p blished hem in g — — his Obs erver and after a cautious interval The

80 TH E I NTERREGN UM

Times uote t e u T s as t e q d h m in f ll . hi w ra h r like

o of e en es me s me my xperi c in India, and gave yet

or o e m e c nﬁd nce . T o my great pride I was elected a Member of the —“ ” the tt e l —a d Savile li le Savile th n in Picadi ly n , on tro u t ne w t n s s t n a my in d c ion, di d i h o l e ha H rdy and t r Wal e Besant . My debts to the latte r gre w at o ou ma e m c nce, and y y rem mber that I o wed him u h

. his own on u s and indeed He had views p bli hers, ’ ou or u t ou e h ut o was f nding, had j s f nd d, t e A h rs

o n o S ciety. He advised me to e trus t my busines s t

h n—A a t e t to is ow . . tt an agen and s n me P W ,

son o h oo whose was ab ut my own age . T e father t k hold of my affairs at once and most sagely ; and on

t his s on e o rs f o t his dea h succeed d . In the c u e o f r y odd years I do not recall any difference between us ’

t t u s t ou not e u . T s tha hree min te alk c ld cl ar p hi ,

o o e to e ant . als , I w d B s

N or o o i did his go dness halt th ere . H e w uld s t

o t e and t n s e behind his big, fr s ed b ard winkli g p c

t e and me out s om on e n t new a les, deal wi d c c r ing his

n a o incomprehensible world . O e he rd very g od

a talk a t the Savile . Much of it w s the careless - - give and take of the atelier when the models are off ’ st and one t o e - e t at one their ands, hr ws br ad p lle s s ’ ett and a of s oo o e b ers, m kes hay all ch ls save n s

n But es n t s aw ee . se me o ow . B a d per He advi d t “ ” - h s keep out of the dog ﬁg t . H e aid that if I “ ” were in with one lot I would have to b e out with

8 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

“ o h h an ther ; and t at, at last, t ings would get like a ’ girls school where they stick out their tongues at ” e o too . ach ther when they pass . T hat was true ’ One heard men vastly one s seniors wasting energy “ ” and good oaths in recounting intrigues against “ ” t of men who th t t hem, and had eir knife in o heir “ ”

o or . w rk, whom they themselves wished to knife (This reminded me somehow of the elderly officials who opened their hearts in my old office when they were disappointed over anticipated Honours . ) It t F or t seemed best o stand clear of it all . hat rea son e t t t , I have n ver direc ly or indirec ly cri icised ’ o - u u or ou any fell w craftsman s o tp t, enc raged any man or woman to do so ; nor have I approached any pers ons that th ey might be led to comment on my o t output . My acquaintance with my c n emporaries has from ﬁrst to last been very limited . “ At the little Savile I remember much kindness f ou to t o . e o o and lera i n Th re was G sse, c rse, sensi

e as t o b ut utt e tiv a cat to all a m spheres, erly fearl ss when it came to questions of good workmanship ; ’ t u u Hardy s grave and bi ter h mo r ; Andrew —Lang, as detached to all appearances as a cloud but one — l earned to know never kinder in your behalf than when he seemed least concerned with y ou ; Eustace

a u e o one of the t B lfo r, a larg , l vable man, and bes

f too : e t t o talkers, who died soon Herb r S ephen, very wise and very funny when he chose : Rider

to o too a t o of Haggard, wh m I k nce, he being the

82 THE I NTERREGNUM stamp adored by children and trusted by men at sight ; and he could tell tales, mainly against him

u the e : t u self, that broke p tabl s Sain sb ry, a solid rock of learning and geniality whom I revered all my days ; profoundly a scholar and versed in th e f art o good living. There was a breakfast with him and Walte r Pollock of the Saturday Revie w in

u e o e l s Albany, when he prod c d s me specially d vi i h Oriental delicacy which we cooked by the light of o r ! u united ignorances . It was splendid Why

o tw u o not th se o men took the tro ble t ice me, I ’ never knew ; b ut I learned to rely on Saintsbury s j udgment in the weightier matters of the Laws of

e me e t Literature . At his latter end he gav in s i “ mable help in a little piece of work called Proofs ” of o t t out his oo ou H ly Wri , which wi h b ks c ld

e e n . o n nev r have be n ha dled I f u d him at Bath, compiling with erudition equal to his earnestness - ’ ’ the Cellar book of the Queen s Doll s House . He

u e ott e of e T o t t prod c d a b l r al kay, which I as ed, and los t my number badly by saying that it re n I t minded me of some medicinal wi e . is true he

e m of the b ut mer ly called me a blasphe er worst, what he thought I do not care to think ! There were scores of other good men at th e

but the on the of o Savile, t es and faces th se I have

t . named come ba—ck cleares My home life it was a far cry from Piccadilly V — t u to illiers Street was otherwise, hro gh the 83 SOMETHING OF MYSELF months of amaz ement which followed my return to . e was England That p riod all, as I have said, a dream, in which it seeme d th at I could push

o t o t d wn walls, walk hr ugh ramparts and s ride

o . was so acr ss rivers Yet I ignorant, I never guessed when the great fogs fell that trains could take me to o light and sunshine a few miles outside Lond n . Once I faced the reﬂection of my own face in the et- - j black mirror of the window panes for ﬁve days .

th e fo e o out saw man When g thinn d, I l oked and a a n st ndi g opposite the p ub where the barmaid lived . ’ u t turn u Of a s dden his breas ed d ll red like a robin s, w n cut t . fe and he crumpled, havi g his hroat In a — — - minutes seconds it s eemed a hand ambulance h - t arrived and took up t e body . A pot boy wi h a bucket of steaming water sluiced the blood off into

u t r the g tter, and what li tle c owd had collected went its way. One got to know that ambulance (it lived some

e e where at the back of St . Cl ment Danes) as w ll

the o . as P lice of the E Division, and even as far as

e P M . Piccadilly Circus wher , any time after . , “ the forces might be found at issue with real ” t t ladies . And through all his shifting, shou ing b rotheldom the pious British householder and his family bored their way back from the theatres, - e as ou not . ey s front and ﬁxed , th gh seeing Among my guests in chambers was a Lion Co ’ — mique from Gatti s an artist with sound views on 84

SOMETHING OF MYSELF — money much more th an four hundred rupees a — month and when my Bank-book told me I had one h u t was t o sand whole pounds saved, the S rand u in hardly wide eno gh for my triumph . I had “ ” a o tended bo k to take advantage of th e market . u This I had j st sense enough to countermand . What I most needed was that my people should and come over see what had overtaken their son . “ T on his they did a ﬂying visit, and then my kick ” u t p had some wor h .

to As always, they seemed suggest nothing—and o t interfere n where . But they we re here my Father with his sage Yorkshire outlook and wis dom ot e t t - ﬁ re ; my M h r, all Cel and hree parts both so entirely comprehending that except in

n of o trivial matters we had hardly eed w rds . I think I can with truth s ay that those two made for me the only public for whom then I had any t t -ﬁfth regard whatever ill heir deaths, in my forty “ ”

e . e h set y ar Th ir arrival simpliﬁed t ings, and in my head a notion that had been rising at the “ ’ ” f m o . I t u —back o it see ed easy en gh to knock em b ut to what end beyond the heat of the exercise ? (T hat both my grandfathe rs had been Wesleyan

n s t t t Mi i ers did not s rike me ill I was, familiarly,

o on reminded of it . ) I had been at w rk the rough “ ” of a set of ve rse s called later The English Flag and had boggled at a line which had to be a key “ n line b ut persisted in goi g soft . As was the cus 86 THE INTERREGNUM tom e t b ween us, I asked into the air : What am ” t n to et a t ? n s t n h o e I ryi g g I a tly t e M th r, with

“ ’ her quick ﬂutter of the hands : You re trying to ‘ say : What do th ey know of England who only ’ o ? Th he England kn w e Fath e r conﬁrmed . T rest of the rheto ric came away eas ily ; for it was o e e of nly pictures se n, as it were, from the d ck a o u - t t t t l ng fo rteen footer, a craf ha will almos sail herself.

the t o e o ot o In alks that f llowed, I xp sed my n i n of trying to tell to the English something of the — world outside England not directly b ut by impli cation .

T o o the the hey understood . L ng bef re end “ ‘ m e m : I . to Moth r, su marising, said see Un the ’ ’ did H e discover His swan s nest among the reeds . ” fo e t ou r us . t t t Thank y t lling , dear Tha se tled ha ; and when Lord T ennys on (whom alas ! I neve r had th e good fortune to meet) expressed his approval of s s too it for a the ver e when they appeared, I k

o t o e o lucky sign . M s men properly br k t a trade pick up some sort of workshop facility which gives t the man advan age ove r their untrained fellows . - My office work had taught me to think out a notion

e it e and o on i in d tail , pack away in my h ad, w rk t n by snatches in a y surroundings . The lurch and - surge of th e old hors e drawn bus es made a luxuri

o s u u t o . u cradle for s ch r mina i ns Bit by bit, my

t o to u o original no i n grew in a vast, vag e c nspectus 87 SOMET HING OF MYSELF — — Army and Navy Stores List if you like of the whole sweep and meaning of things and effort and

ou u u it origins thr gho t the Empire . I vis alised , as

o t th - e I do m s ideas, in e shape of a semi circl of — buildings and temples projecting into a sea of

e . A t an t ot tr t dr ams y rate, af er I had g it s aigh in “ ’ e t t e n o i my head , I f l h re eed to be no more kn ck n ’ the t em in abs ract .

n o V Likewise, in my wa derings bey nd illiers

t t me s o S ree , I had t seve ral men and an occa i nal

o om n m n w man, wh I by o ea s loved . They were

o e o t-s o en or at nt t in v rly s f p k bl a , and deal per

nicious v r t of s t n F or the mos t a ie ies afe sedi io . part they seemed to b e purveyors of luxurie s to “ ” the s to ra os e s tru t on u Ari c cy, wh de c i by painf l

ean t o r T e d m s hey l udly p ofe ssed to des ire . h y e

rided m oo tt e o s of the a t and e t y p r li l G d E s , ass r ed “ that the British in India spent violent live s op ” h n t pressing t e Native . (This in a la d where whi e

of te t e or ou t ou girls six en, at w lve f r een p nds per

num u e t t or o ou t of an , ha l d hir y f rty p nds weigh - bath wa ter at a time up four ﬂights of s tairs ! )

T he m r s u t mon t ns o e b le a g hem had pla , which “ ’ o me n t n they t ld , for s a ching away Engla d s arms ’ — when she isn t l ooking j us t like a naughty child — ’ so that when she wants to ﬁght she ll ﬁ nd she ’ ”

W m fa t s n . can t . ( e have co e r on tha road i ce )

eant me t aim was e u e e tu M i , heir p acef l , int ll c al penetration and the formation of what today 88 THE INTERREGNUM

would be called cells in unventilated corners . Collaborating with these gentry was a mixed crowd of - e -mou L e who wide mind d, wide thed ib rals, dark ened couns el with pious but disintegrating catch

o o n . w rds, and to k care to live very well i deed

o n to e e ou ou S mewhere, playi g up th m, w re vari s j r nals not at tte o t en a e , all badly wri n, with a m s vi bl genius for perverting or mistaking anything that

The e did not suit their bilious doctrine . gen ral “ s tu s aw it o e u n do i ation, as I , pr mis d an all ri g g ” t no e to t e a e ﬁgh , in which I had ne d ak ggr ssive

t u oo as the o e par beca se, as s n ﬁrst blo m had fad d of o no ou t u e e to my w rk, my rmal p t se m d have the gift of arriding per s e the very people I most

A nd he o u not to disliked . I had t additi nal l ck be

e e o s for o t m e . eo e t e u t tak n s ri u ly s me i P pl alk d, q i e re o of t t t n u as nably, rockets and s icks ; and ha ge i s,

. K. n t J S . ot e to t t t , br h r Herber S ephe , deal wi h Haggard and me in some stanz as which I would have given much to have written mys elf . They breathed a prayer for better days when

T he world shall cease to wonder

the en u o f an A ss A t g i s , ’ A nd a boy s eccentric bl under Shall not bring success to pass

en t ere stands a muz z led str l n Wh h ip i g, e e a uz z e re Mute, b sid m l d bo Wh en the Rudyards cease from Kipling a A nd the Hagg rds Ride no more . 89 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

It ran joyously through all the papers . It still hangs faintly in the air and, as I used to warn

Haggard, may continue as an aroma when all but our two u q eer names are forgotten . Several perfectly good reviewe rs al s o helped me by demonstrating how I had arrived at my effects

of One by a series happy accidents . kind man

t to ou u o even wen some tr ble, incl ding a g od din “ o ner, to disc ver personally whether I had ever read ” o on his o much . I could n t do less than c ﬁrm w rst “ ” u for e t n on t t s spicions, I had b en ake in ha way

th e u u t ou out at P nj ab Cl b, ill my examiner f nd

was u le e ou that I p lling his g, and chas d me all r nd

Th s due the compound . ( e greate t reverence is to th t e u . t yo ng They have, when irri ated , lit le of their own . )

But am of or in all this j work done devising, de

t ro s uo mands, distractions, excitemen s, and p mi c us

u . conf sions, my health cracked again I had broken

f o u down twice in India r m straight overwork, pl s

e t r b ut t t n fever and dys n e y, his time the s ale ess and

e o t ou of u nz d pressi n came af er a b t real inﬂ e a, when all my Indian microbes j oined hands and sang for f t a month in the darkness o Villiers S reet .

So o t t I to k ship to I aly, and here chanced to

et o uffe our a o who me L rd D rin, Amb ssad r, had

V o n e been ice roy of India and had kn w my peopl . “ o t o e e T he on Als , I had wri ten s m vers s called S g ” ’ of the Women about Lady Dufferin s mate rnity 90 TH E INTERREGNUM

for o work w men in India, which both she and he liked . He was kindness itself, and made me his V guest at his illa near Naples where, one evening

t ee t —at m be w n lights, he alked ﬁrst to e directly,

e —o f or then sliding into a r verie his w k in India, h o t e at . d Canada, and w rld large I had seen a

t t e t r minis ra ive machinery from b nea h, all st ipped n r a d o ve heated . This was the ﬁrs t time I had

s t n o n w li e ed t o e ho had handled it from above .

u the e t o f V o o And nlike g nerali y icer ys, L rd

uffe r knew all his o D in . Of revelati ns and remi “ niscences the e ten t at s t s t is : , s n ce h ay wi h me And ” “ so ou see t no oo or al , y , here can be r m ( was it “ ’ ” n for good inte tions in one s work .

t o r not ou . I aly, h weve , was en gh My need was

n e-so u s to get clea away and r rt myself. Cr ise n o were then u kn wn ; b ut my dependence was Cook .

s — t For the great J. M . him elf the man wi h the — iron mouth and domed brow h ad been one of my ’ Father s gue sts at Lahore when he was trying to induce the Indian Governm ent to let him take ove r the annual pilgrimage to Mecca as a business nd o os t . he u ee e o e a pr p i ion Had s cc d d s me liv s,

or two t e . perhaps a war , migh have be n saved His home offices took friendly interest in my plans and

o steame r connecti ns . I sailed ﬁrst to Cape Town in a gigantic three t ou -ton The M oor not h sand liner called , knowing

n of t . I was in the ha ds Fa e Aboard her, I met 9 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF a Navy Captain going to a new Command at ’ o T A Sim n s own . t Madeira he desired to lay in for two- wine his year commission . I assisted him t u t hro gh a variega ed day and ﬂuctuating evening, - which laid the foundations of life long friendship . ’ n 1 t Cape Tow in 9 was a sleepy, unkemp little t u place, where the s oeps of some of the older D tch

o t o h uses still jutted over the pavemen . Occasi nal

o o the n t u c ws str lled up mai s reets, which were f ll of coloured people of the sort that my ayah had - pointed out to me were curly haired (hubshees ) who slept in such posture as made it easy for the

o devils t enter their bodies . But there were also many Malays who we re Muslims of a so rt and

own o ﬂamb o antl had their Mosques, and wh se y y tt o o o on u o a ired w men s ld ﬂ wers the c rb, and t ok

. The dr of the in washing y , spiced smell land and the smack of the clean sunshine were health t res toring . My Navy Cap ain introduced me to ’ the o t Naval s cie y of Simon s Town, where the out - t A d s h eas er blows ﬁve days a week, and the of the S miral Cape Station lived in plendour, with at least a brace of live turtles harnes sed to the end of e oo t m n ou t due a littl w den je ty, swi mi g ab t ill to o T he be taken up for turtle s up . Navy Club there and the tales of the j unior ofﬁ cers delighted

e one of th me beyond words . There I witness d e “ o e I t m st comprehensive rags I had ver seen . - rose out of a polite suggestion to a newly appointe d 92

SOMETHING OF MYSELF among people who insisted a little too much that o n w B they als were e . ut there are no such things new l as people in this very o d world . The leading paper offered me the most distin

uished u of e e Cu g hono r d scribing the Melbourn p , but I had reported races before and I knew it was not in n t h my li e . I was more interes ed in t e mid - dle aged men who had spent their lives making or

th T of S c managing e land . hey were direct pee h on t o t S am g each o her, and talked a p li ical lang new

to . e one o o e me One l arned , as always d es, m r from what they said to each other or took for

in t t t on o ot a t granted heir alk, han e c uld have g o n m t fr m a hundred ques tions . A d on a war nigh

t L ou o e u I a tended a ab r C ngress, wher Labo r de - - bated whether some much needed life boats should

to b e o or e be allowed ordered fr m England, wheth r the o rde r Should be postponed till life-boats could be built in Australia under Labour direction at

Labour prices . Hereafter my memorie s of Australian travel are

u at un o mixed p with trains transferring me, h ly

ou o one - u t t u to an h rs, fr m too excl sive S a e ga ge other ; of enormous skie s and primitive refre shment

oo hot tea ate u to e r ms, where I drank and m t n, whil now e hot n the l oo of the P un and th n a wi d , like

o out t e . jab, b omed of the emp in ss A hard land,

e to for t e it se med me, and made harder h mselves — o its t t it by the acti n of inhabi an s, who may have 94 THE INTERREGNUM — been the climate always seemed a bit on edge .

t o to e h o u I wen als Sydn y, whic was p p lated by - leisure d multitudes all in their shirt sleeves and all

o picnicking all the day . They v lunteered that they

e new and oun but ou do u w re y g, w ld wonderf l

o om t o things s me day, which pr ise hey m re than

t . T to o t in T to kep hen H bar , asmania, pay my

t to o who n Gov respec s Sir Ge rge Grey, had bee h ernor at Cape T own in the days of t e Mutiny .

old e o t He was very , v ry wise and f reseeing, wi h the gentlenes s that accompanies a certain sort of strength . Then came N ew Zealand by steamer ( one was - always taking small and rickety coas t wise craft a ro t o e and n t c ss h s big seas) , at Welli g on I was met e se e a to e him , pr ci ly wher w rned exp ct , by “ ” e o u J the t - r o P l r s ack, big, whi e ma ked d lphin, who held it his duty to escort shipping up the har

n o e t f he Le bour. H e e j y d a special protec ion o t g islature o a m n him s b ut s te pr cl i i g acred, , year la r, some animal shot and wounded him and he was

n ton n o no more seen . Welli g ope ed an th er world of eo mor omo n ou it t u kindly p ple, e h ge e s, s r ck me, t n the u tra an a e o -e elashed and ha A s li , l rg , l ng y , ex

a r n i -oo a r tr o di ar ly good l king . Maybe I w s p ej u

u e no e t n ten aut u e diced, beca s l ss ha be if l maid ns took me for a row in a big canoe by moonlight on the t e of to u s ill wat rs Welling n Harbo r, and every n n for oo o e ge erally put aside everything my beh f, 95 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

ns u m i tr ction, amusement, and co fort . So, indeed, it F o has always been. r which reason I deserve no credit when my work happens to be accurate in detail . A friend long ago taxed me with having “ enj oye d the income of a Prince and the treatment ” of t it . an Ambassador, and with not apprecia ing “ e a o an un He ven c lled me, am ng other things, ”

r te u n . But t ou u g a f l hou d wha , I ask y , co ld I have done except go on with my work and try to add to the pleasure of those that had found it ple as ant ? One cannot repay the unrepayable by grins and handshakes . From Wellington I went north towards Auck in and land a buggy with a small grey mare, a most

t ur u u te . acit n driver . It was b sh co ntry af r rain - We crossed a rising river twenty three times in one ou on e day, and came t great plains wher wild

o e u on h rs s stared at us, and ca ght their feet in l g

one blown manes as they stamped and snorted . At of our halts I was given for dinner a roast bird t wi h a skin like pork crackling, but it had no n as —an a wi gs nor trace of any . It w a kiwi p

er x to e its for t y . I ought have sav d skeleton, few men have eaten apteryx . Hereabouts my driver —I had seen the like happen in lonely place s before e e t . xplod d, as some imes solitaries will We ’ s s e pa ed a horse s skull besid th e track, at which he began to swear horribly b ut without passion .

H e n and t S u had , he said, drive ridden past tha k ll 96

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

oo o — put her f t on a scorpi n . Then precisely as

o of -lo - t the rem val —the key g in a timber jam star s th e whole pile those words gave me the key to

and u t the face voice at A ckland , and a ale called “ ” . u n o ot Mrs Bath rst slid i t my mind, smo hly and - orderly as ﬂoating timber on a bank high river .

out a u te The S h Island, m inly pop la d by Scots,

’ h e e wn t eir sh ep, and the D vil s o high winds, I

a o o tackled in n ther small steamer, am ng colder

e n the and incr asi g seas . We cleared it at Last - — — Lamp post in the World Invercargill on a bois terous a e e oo of the d rk vening, when G neral B th

o s aw Salvati n Army came on board . I him walk

th s e ing backward in e du k over the unev n wharf,

o u tu - s o his cl ak blown pwards, lip fa hi n, over his

ou the grey head, while he beat a tamb rine in face o f the S n o ingi g, weeping, praying cr wd who had

o to see ff c me him o .

t o out n t o t A t We s o d , and at o ce ook the S u h lantic . For the bette r part of a week we were

e t o to our o t sw p fr m end end, po p was spli , and a foot or two of water smashed through the tiny ’

s . The n saloon . I remember no et meals Ge eral s

e the t en cabin was near min , and in in ervals betwe crashe s overhead and catara cts down below he s ounded like a wounded elephant ; for he was in every way a big man . I s aw no more of him till I had picked up 81 for . O. so ne my P , which al happe d to be his, 98 THE INTERREGNUM

o Colombo at Adelaide . Here all the w rld came - out in paddle boats and small craft to speed him on o o ur his r ad to India . H e spoke to them fr m o u one of —an pper deck, and his gestures impera t e n S e the — uz ive, r peated, dow ward w ep of arm p z led me saw t t o n o n the , till I ha a w ma cr uching o - paddle box of a crowded boat had rucked her petti o t t o eou c a s well up to her knees . In h se days right s

e at the e s te . e t woman end d n ck and in p Pr sen ly,

H er she saw what was troubling the General . skirts were adj us ted and all was peace and pie ty. I talked much with General Booth during that voy

. u age Like the yo ng ass I was, I expressed my dis taste at his appearance on Invercargill wharf. ” o n e n t o s at Y u g feller, he r plied, bendi g grea br w “ t ou t ou win one o ou to the me, if I h gh I c ld m re s l Lord by walking on my head and playing the ’ — ’ t m ou t to s I d I d how. a b rine wi h my e , learn H e had the right o f it if by any means I can ” save some ) and I had decency enough to apolo

to me out th e nn n s o f gis e . He ld ab e b gi i g his

and how su he ou o e mission, rely w ld be in ga l w re his accounts submitted to any sort of official in - sp ection ; and how his work must be a one man

t n Lo u en despotism wi h o ly the rd for s pervisor . (Ev

u u u m . so spoke Pa l and, I am well s re, M ham ed ) “ ” “ ’ I n ou st0 ou Then why, asked, ca t y p y r Sal vation lassies from going out to India and living - ” alone native fashion among natives ? I told him 99 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o h of s met ing village conditions in India . The ’ “ a m despot s defence was very human . But what ?” “ . wi o I to do he demanded The girls ll g , and ’ ’ ” one can t stop em . I think this ﬁrst ﬂare of enthusiasm was ration

e alised lat r, but not before some good live s had

e n b e expended . I conceived great respect and admiration for this man with the head of Isaiah

of the o t b ut t and the ﬁre Pr phe , , like the la ter,

me t rather at sea among women . The next time I him was at Oxford when Degrees we re being con ’ o s his o ferred . He str de acro s to me in D ctor s o n t m r bes, which mag iﬁcen ly beca e him, and , “ ” “ ’ ” o e u o ? Y ung fell r, said he, how s yo r s ul

the t o o f I have always liked Salva i n Army, n whose wo rk outside E gland I have seen a little .

e of u o to the o t o Th y are, co rse, pen all bjec i ns urged against th em by science and the regular creeds : but it seems to me that when a soul con ceives itself as being reborn it may go through t agonies both unscientiﬁc and unregula ed . Hag

who o t the gard, had w rked wi h him and for Army on e o o to u u of sev ral ccasi ns, ld me for sheer l x ry

- o com attendance, kindliness, and good will , n thing

v e pared with tra el und r their care . From Colombo I crossed over to the India of the

o t not o for ou extreme s u h which I did kn w, and f r days and four nights in the belly o f the train could

o ou not understand one w rd of the Speech ar nd me .

100

T H E COMMI T T E E OF WA YS A N D MEA N S

TH E N o o e a a h so old d wn to B mbay wh re my y , but so una te met th e s s t ea l red, me wi bl s ing and rs ; ’ and then to London to be married in January 92

t of an n u z e e he in the hick i ﬂ en a pid mic, when t undertake rs had run out of black horse s and the

to o dead had be c ntent with brown ones . The

er n living w e mostly abed . (We did ot know then that this epidemic was the ﬁrst warning that the — — plague fo rgotten for generations was on the move out of Manchuria . ) All of which touched me as much as it would

r n n t any othe young ma u der like circums ances . My - conce rn was to get out of the pest house as soo n a s m F or was not of u t ? ight be . I a person s bs ance — Had I not several more than two at least thous and pounds in Fixed Deposits ? Had not my ’ own Bank s Manager himself suggested that I might “ e t o of t sa o ? But inv s s me my capi al in, y , indig ’ I preferred to invest once more in Cook s tickets — — o I t for two on a voyage r und the world . was all arranged beyond any chance of failure . So we were married in the church with the

1 02 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEAN S

“ - o t t e at — pencil p in ed s e ple Langham Place Gosse,

J o Henry ames, and my cousin Ambr se Poynter — being all the congregation present and we parted

to the of e m at the church door scandal the B adle, y

to te e ne to her t wife adminis r m dici mo her, and I to a wedding breakfast with Ambrose Poynter ;

t on u n to e t saw af er which, ret rni g coll c my wife, I , pinned down by weights on the rainy pavement as

the us o of t o u t ou a was c t m h se n r bled d ys, a news

e ost un pap r p er anno cing my marriage, which made

e o n e me f el unc mfortable and defe cel ss . And a few days afterwards we were on our th t magic carpet which was to take us round e ear h,

t o n our beginning wi h Canada deep in sn w . Amo g wedding gifts was a generous silver ﬂask ﬁlled with

s b ut of n o t n t t . I t e in the whi ky, i c n i en habi l aked e it valise where it lay with ﬂann l shirts . And scented the entire Pullman from end to end ere we

But t t t e all our arrived at the cause . by ha im - fellow passengers were pitying that poor girl who had linked her life to this s hameless inebriate .

s e t o e of u r nno e Thus in a fal a m sph re all o i c nt own, we am to V ou e t e e to c e anc ver, wher wi h an y the uture for oo of e t we ou t f and pr f w al h b gh , or t u t t nt e of e s ho gh we had, we y acr s a wild rne s

e o t V ou e now t of the . call d N r h anc v r, par City

B e was t t as oun ut ther a ca ch in the hing, we f d

s te t n t on it for many year la r when, af er payi g axes

so o we e o to o ever l ng, discover d it bel nged s me 1 03 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

one else . All the consolation we got then from “ the smiling people of Vancouver was : Y ou bought

ou ? - eve ! You that from Steve, did y Ah ah, St ’ ’ t u t to u t 0 ! N ot hadn o gh ha bo gh from Steve . N ” o Stev fr m e . And thus did the good Steve cure us t of speculating in real es ate .

e t t Then to Yokohama, wh re we were reated wi h all the kindliness in the world by a man and his on wife whom we had no shadow of any claim .

us o t e ous They made m re han w lcome in their h e, and saw to it that we should see Japan in wis taria - t o t and peony time . Here an ear hquake (pr phe ic as it turned out) overtook us one hot break of

o the e e dawn, and we ﬂed out int gard n, wh re a tall cryptomeria waggled its ins ane head back and “ ” forth with an I told you so expression ; though t not a breath was stirring. A lit le later I went to the Y ohohama branch of my Bank on a wet forenoon to draw some of my solid weal th . Said “ ? the Manager to me : Why not take mo re I t t no will be just as easy . I answered hat I did t care to have too much cash at one time in my care

b ut o less keeping, that when I had looked ver my t o accounts I might come again in the af ern on . I so but tt n did ; in that li le space my Ba k, the notice on ut oo u its sh d r explained , had s spended pay

ou o t e to ment . (Yes, I sh ld have d ne be t r have “ ” invested my capital as its London Manager had hinted . ) 1 04

SOMETHING OF MYSELF mere green dimples still held by an undefeated - lilac bush . On one small farm was a building as t known the Bliss Cottage, generally inhabi ed by

a hired man . It was of one storey and a half ; - se venteen feet high to the roof tree ; seventeen feet - deep and, including the kitchen and wood shed, - t ts - twen y seven feet wide over all . I water supply - was a Single half inch lead pipe connecting with a s the ne o o But i as pring in ighb urh od . t w habitable ,

it to ee I ts and s od over a d p if dampish cellar . rent

ten o was d llars or two pounds a month .

We took it . We furnished it with a simplicity t t - h - s t o t t e u e e . u ha fore ran hire p rchas sy m We b gh ,

o or t n u - o sec nd hird ha d, a h ge, hot air st ve which we

cut en ou o installed in the cellar . We g er s h les in - our thin ﬂoors for its eight inch tin pipes (why we we re not burned in our beds each week of the win ter I never can understand) and we were extraordi - t narily and self centredly conten . A s the N ew England summer ﬂamed into autumn I piled cut Spruce boughs all round the draughty

e S ut t o cottag ill, and helped to p up a iny ro ﬂess t verandah along one side of it for fu ure needs . - When winter shut down and sleigh bells rang all o the t o t tu us un ver whi e w rld hat cked in, we co ted

ti s ourselves secure . Some me we had a servant . Sometim es she would ﬁnd the solitude too much for

ﬂ ee t out n one en a her and wi h war ing, ev le ving her

t u us not at . T a trunk . This ro bled all here are l

1 06 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEANS

two to n fr ways sides a plate, and the cleani g of y ing and s aucepans is as little a mystery as the of o t n making comf r able beds . Whe our lead pipe

z on - fro e, we would slip our coon skin coats and t out t t an T no haw it wi h a ligh ed c dle . here was

in the tt e oom for so space a ic b dr a cradle, we de

e t t u -tr b o cid d hat a r nk ay would e j ust as go d . We — envied no one not . even when skunks wandered nto our o the natu of the i cellar and , kn wing re e s ts o ou e e t it ou b a , we imm bilised rs lv s ill sh ld m please the to depart . But our neighbours saw no humour in our pro

ceedin s . e was s t n of u o e g H re a ra ger an nl v d race, “ currently reported to make as much as a hundred ” o out of ten- t ott of who d llars a cen b le ink, and “ ” the a ou who had pieces in papers b t him, had “ ” Bal s i r not married a e t er gi l . Did her grand “ ot e t e on the Balestier e e old m h r s ill liv place, wh r ” Balestier instead of farming had built a large

ou and t e e e t in e a nt h se, h r had din d la e sp ci l raime , and drunk red wines afte r the cus tom of the French ins tead of decent whisky ? A nd behold this Brit s e e of t one i h r, und r pretext having los m y, had “ ” s ettled his wife down right among her own folk

h a I t was not on in t e Bliss Cott ge . seemly the face of it ; so they watched as secretively as the New

n s e s and England or E gli h p a ant can, what tolera ” tion they extended to the Britishe r was s olely “ ” fo B t r the sake of the ales ier girl . 1 07 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

But we had received the first shock of our young at o m lives the first crisis in them . The C m ittee of Ways and Means passed a resolution, never h u rescinded, t at henceforth , at any price, it m st own its collective self. A S money came in from the sale of books and tales, the first use we made of it was to buy back

De artmental Ditties lain T les six a p , P a , and the p - per backed books that I had sold to get me funds ’ b ut for leaving India in 89 . They cost something, , w t o com o ning hem, th e Bliss Cottage breathed m re

r ab fo t ly . N ot till much later did we realise the terrible “ d i ’ ” things that folks thought of your o n s . From

o . e their p int of view they were right Also, th y were practical as the following will Show . One day a stranger drove up to the Bliss Cot

T he t : tage . palaver opened hus “ ’ ’ ?” Kiplin , ain t ye

That was admitted . “ ’ ?” Write, don t ye

That seemed accurate . (Long pause . ) “ ’ ’ et so to o Th bein , you ve got to live please f lk, hain’t ye ?” ra H That indeed was the w truth . e sat rigid in the buggy and went on . “ ’ ’ so e ot to Thet bein , you v g to please live, I ” reckon?

1 08

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ of 92 some memory of the Masonic Lions of my ’ ’ C o z n hildho d s maga ine, and a phras e i Haggard s

N ada the Lil h of t s t . y , combined with t e echo hi ale o out th the After bl cking e main idea in my head ,

oo e n to r t pen t k charg , and I watched it begi w i e

to o o s ries ab ut M wgli and animals, which later grew

to Jun le Books in the g . Once launched there seemed no particular reason to t b ut ha d ne u s t e s op, I lear d to disting i h be we n

o t o of e o the perempt ry mo i ns my Da m n, and the “ ” r -o n u t t ca ry ver or i d ced elec rici y, which comes of “ ” T wo what y ou might call me re frictional writing . t s and tt ale , I remember, I threw away was be er

h r m o h o t t e . to t e pleased wi h e ainder M re p int, my t Fa her thought well of the workmanship . My ﬁrst child and daughter was born in three

oot of o on the t of e e 2 th 1 8 2 . f sn w nigh D cemb r 9 , 9 ’ Her Mother s birthday being the 3 1 5t and mine the oth of s o on tu t her g the ame m nth, we c gra la ed on s the t of she t o her sen e of ﬁ ness things, and hr ve - in her trunk tray in the sunshine on the little plank

n t u me n o ta t vera dah . Her bir h bro ght i t con c with — n the best friend I made in N ew England Dr . Co land . I t s eemed that the Bliss Cottage might be getting

t o so the o the a lit le c ngested , , in foll wing spring, “ Committee of Ways and Means considered a ﬁeld — — and bought it as much as ten whole acres on a rocky hillside looking across a huge valley to

1 1 0 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEAN S

Wantasti uet oo o q , the w ded mountain acr ss the o C nnecticut River . That summer there came out of Quebec Jean Pigeon with nine other habitants who put up a wooden shed for their own accommodation in what

e t e t ute t s et o to se med w n y min s, and hen to w rk ” build us a house which we called Naulakha . Nine ty feet was the length of it and thirty the

t on un at o of o t wid h, a high fo d i n s lid mor ared - rocks which gave us an airy and a Skunk proof

n w s oo S n e o e e t . The s t a bas m re w d, hi gl d, ro f and

S t u n n -s and the ides, wi h d ll gree ha d plit shingles,

o e s too was the wind ws we re lavish and wid . Lavi h

on o e tt ea e e too te . o l g p n a ic, as I r lis d wh n la Pige n asked me whethe r I would have it ﬁnished in ash

or r . no n t t was o e ash so cher y Ig ra t ha I , I ch s , and missed a s tretch of perhaps the most satisfying in

T o e e u t terior wood that is grown . h se w r Op len

m o e the days, when ti ber was n thing r garded, and n t best of cabi et work could be had for li tle money .

out n o . T Next, we laid a lo g drive to the r ad his needed dynamite to so ften its grades and a mos t mellow plumber brought up many sticks of it all - rattling —about under his buggy seat among the m r We e e oo u nto the t o . a ping ds div d, lik w dch cks, i

n we e ee o . t ee n arest d pest h le Nex , n di g water, - sunk a ﬁ ve inch shaft three hundred foot into the

N ew n te o s England gra i , which n where was le s

t ou o oot than three, h gh s me say thirty, thousand f

1 1 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

. we set thick Over that a windmill, which gave us ’ not enough water and moaned and squeaked 0

. So we o it t t nights knocked ut s lowe st bol s, hi ched

u t e it on two yoke of b llocks, and over hr w , as it might have been the VendOme Column : th us Spir itually recouping ourselves for at least half the

o of - e u c st erection . A low power atmosph ric p mp,

it oil its which was my disgustful duty to , was t e successor . These experiences gave us bo h a lif

o t t e t o t l ng aste for playing wi h timb r, s one , c ncre e and such delightful things .

o s t of our for H r es were an in egral part lives, th e Bliss Cottage was three mile s from the little

to o the ous u . wn, and half a mile fr m h e in b ilding

t was o Our permanen servitor a big, phil sophical

u u e u who black called Marc s A r li s, waited in the u t to- r b ggy as cars wai day, and when wea y of standing up would carefully lie down and go to

i te s leep between h s shafts . Af r we had ﬁnished

t e n with him, we i d his rei s short and sent him in charge of the buggy alone down the road to his

- e u e his s u e t stable door, wher he res m d l mb rs ill some one came to undress him and put him to bed . There was a small mob of other horses about the

u n ee o landscape, incl di g a m k old stalli n with a

t e who s the e of permanen ly lam leg, pas ed ev ning - his days in a ho rse power machine which cut wood for us . I tried to give something of the fun and ﬂavour

1 1 2

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- One day long excursion up the ﬂanks of Wan tasti uet our u q , g ardian mountain across the river, brought us to a farm-house where we were wel

o su - ﬂat- o o c med by the u al wild eyed, fr nted w man of the place Looking ove r sweeps of emptiness, ” we saw our Naulakha riding on its hillside like

t t on the f a li tle boa ﬂank o a far wave . Said the “ ’ o : ou the s the w man, ﬁercely Be y new lights cro t ’ valley yonder ? Ye don t know what a comfort ’ ’ t e they ve been to me this winter . Ye aren ev r ’ ’ ” o u u —or be e ? g in to shro d em p y So, as long “ ” t t t o S u as we lived here, ha br ad ide of Na lakha - which looked her ward was always nakedly lit . In the little town where we shopped there was

o V rmo t t t o an ther atmosphere . e n was by radi i n a “ ”

t . F or t aso one u o Dry Sta e hat re n, fo nd in alm st - - every ofﬁ ce the water bottl e and thick tooth glass

n and s ee u o or displayed ope ly, in di cr t c pb ards t u u t drawers the whisky bo tl e . B siness was cond c ed

o u t s of t o e and c ncl ded wi h gulp raw spiri , foll w d - e of te . T e ot t by a pledg t ice cold wa r h n, b h par ies

o b ut t to t chewed cl ves, whe her defea the Law,

one e or e e t which no ev r regarded, to d c ive heir

o - of o t e e h w men folk, wh m h y went in gr at fear (t ey were mostly educated up to College age by spin

sters do o . ) , I not kn w But a promising scheme for a Country Club had to be abandone d because many men who would by right belong to it could not be trusted with a 1 14 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEANS

u o t . ou f ll whisky b t le On the farms, of c rse, men

n ou t t o t dra k cider, of vari s s reng hs, and s me imes o achieved alm st maniacal forms of drunkenness . The whole business seemed to me as unwholesomely furtive and false as many aspects of Ama ican life

at that time . n s t t un t Admi i ratively, here was limi ed and me

ticulous e t t u t l t o of l gali y, wi h a m l ip ica i n semi

ﬂi c s b aw- j udicial o e and titles ; ut of l abidingness,

or t o of at t t m not of any concep i n wh ha i plied, a

t . V t u t o t t o or race ery lit le in b siness, ransp r a i n,

t t to e t u distribu ion, tha I had d al wi h, was s re,

t u t or . But t t punc ual , acc ra e, organised his hey neither knew nor would have believed though ffi t n e i . mm e angels a rm d Ethnologically, i igra ts wer coming into the States at about a million head a

th — o year . They supplied e cheap alm st Slave

ou e ou lab r, lacking which all whe ls w ld have

to e e e e t ou s pp d, and th y w re handl d wi h a call s

n The I s s out ess that horriﬁed me . ri h had pas ed “ of the market into politics which suited their

t t of u e and n ous ins inc s secrecy, pl nd r, ano ym de n ci The ta ans e t at o n un ation . I li wer s ill w rk, layi g

o b ut u via s o d wn trams, were moving p , mall sh ps

ur ou t o n t o and c i s ac ivities, to the d mi an positi n - which they now occupy in well organised Society .

rm n who e e the s The Ge a , had prec d d even Iri h,

ul - oo a and oo e counted himself a f l bl ded Americ n, l k d “ down gutturally on what he called foreign trash . 1 15 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

Somewhere in the background, though he did not “ ” know it, was the representative American, who traced his blood through three or four generations

who o ro and , controlling n thing and affecting less, p tested that the accepted lawlessness of life was not “ ” his ou t aes representative of c n ry, whose moral, thetic, and literary champion he had appointed him

. H l os self e said too, a m t automatically, that all foreign elements could and would soon be “assimi ” “ ” u lated into good Americans . And not a so l cared what he said or how he said it ! They were

or o making losing m ney. The political backgroun d of the land was monot

onous . eo oo o When the p ple l ked, which was seld m, own was S outside their borders, England till the dark and dreadful enemy to be feared and guarded

o ot e against . The Irish, wh se h r creed is Hate ; the history books in the Schools ; th e Orators ; the emi o w nent Senators ; and ab ve all th e Press ; sa to that.

N ow J H one of the er few Ama ican A rn ohn ay, v y b assadors to n t two S E gland wi h ides to their heads, had his summer hous e a few hours north by rail

u . from us . On a visit to him, we disc ssed the matter o H is explanation was c nvincing . I quote the words “ which Stayed textually in my memory . Amer ’ ica s hatred of England is the hoop round the - forty four (as they were th en) Staves of the ” U H the nion . e said it was only standard possible o to apply to an enorm usly variegated population.

1 1 6

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

how o to eo he prop sed get it, for the American p “ ” no t . Out o o was the ple did love taxation f u, — y — . s disarming reply And o to some extent it was . The obedient and instructed Press explained how — — England treacherous and jealous as ever o nly waited round the corner to descend on the unp ro tected t of n as coas s Liberty, and to that e d w pre ’

etc . etc . T paring, , , etc. ( his in 95 when England had more than enough hay on her own trident to

u ! But the o e and the keep her b sy ) trick w rk d, all

to e to e t u H an Ora rs and S na rs gav ong e, like the

ChOI O e e nibal I p s that they were . I r memb r the

of t his t wife a Sena or who, apart from poli ics, was

t to o to very largely civilised , invi ed me dr p in the “ ’ Senate and lis ten to her spou se twisting the Lion s ” t I t an odd o of h t to ail . seemed s rt refres men

ff t o b e s . o . u n t o ut er a visi or I co ld g , I r ad his peech ’ ! At the present time (autumn 35) I have also read with interes t the apology offe red by an American Secretary of State to Naz i Germany for un favour able comments ou that land by a New York Police

d B os ou Court Ju ge . ] ut th e were great and spaci s

in s n to — o and fri—endly days Wa hi g n which p litics apart Allah had not altogether deprived of a sens e of humour ; and the food was a thing to f dream o . T hrough Roosevelt I met Professor Langley of

he t on old who s t Smi hs ian, an man had de igned a

1 18 COMMITT EE OF WAYS AND MEANS — model —aeroplane driven for petrol had not yet b tu ﬂa - e arrived y a minia re sh boil r engine, a

of te t s ﬂew on t marvel delica craf sman hip . It rial

two n o e t the over hu dred yards, and dr wn d i self in

of ot u e of t waters the P omac, which was ca s grea

mirth and humour to the Press of his country.

to it oo nou and o me t t Langley ok c lly e gh said t ha , t ou t ou h gh he would never live ill then, I sh ld see o the aer plane established .

The t s on the t o Smi h onian, specially e hn logical

t o o . side, was a pleasan place t br wse in Every na

e S o tion, like ev ry individual, walks in a vain h w — — else it could not live with itself but I never got

the of o who t over wonder a pe ple , having extirpa ed the aboriginals of their continent more completely

t o on t b e han any m dern race had ever d e, hones ly lieved that they were a godly little N ew England

o s t e to u . c mmunity, e ting exampl s br tal mankind This wonder I used to explain to Theodore Roose

t who th of vel , made e glass cases Indian relics shake h with is rebuttals . t t met in n not The nex ime I him was E gland, long after hi—s country had acquired the Philip he an t one e p—ines, and like elderly lady wi h bab yearned to advise England on colonial adminis

rati n s e ou e u for t o . His view w re s nd no gh, his sub

cet was t as it was e n t j Egyp b gi ning to be hen, and “ ” his text Govern or get out . He consulted several 1 19 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o as to how u pe ple far he co ld go . I assured him that o t but the English w uld take any hing from him,

mu to were racially im ne advice .

b o I never met him again, ut we corresp nded “ ” through the years when he j umped Panama from - a brother President there whom he described as “ t o th Pi hecanthr poid, and also during e War, in o m the c urse of which I et two of his delightful sons . My own idea of him was that he was a much bigger

o or t man than his people underst od , at that ime,

how to use t he knew , and hat and they might have t off t been be ter had he been born twenty years la e r .

t our on at o t Mean ime, lives went the Bliss C t age “ ”

o as u t at . T o and, so so n it was b il , Naulakha

Sam c u e the former one day came Mc l re, cr dited ’ with being the original of Stevenson s Pinkerton

T W ecker b s he r ut o e o n . in , him elf far m r rigi al He had been eve rything from a pedlar to a tin

o o the type ph t grapher along highways, and had m t u t . e e held in act his geni s and si plici y He ent r d, alight with the notion for a new Magaz ine to be called I think the talk lasted s ome — t —or e e e t ou welve it may hav b en sev n een h rs,

wa e t the ot o s u ou . H e before n i n f lly hatch d , like

oo t was of his for o e R sevel , in advance age, he l ok d rather straightly at practices and impos tures which were in the cours e of being sanctiﬁed because they “ - ” . eo e e it u at th e t paid P pl call d m ck raking ime, and it seemed to do no sort of good . I liked and

1 20

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

embellish the thefts with stuff I had never written .

At ﬁrst this annoyed me, but later I laughed ; and Frank Doubleday chased the pirates up with cheaper so t and cheaper editions, that th eir thef s became

less proﬁtable . There was no more pretence to t t morality in these gen lemen than in their bre hren,

of of the the bootleggers later years . As a pillar Copyright League (even he could not see the hu

u of t to to mo r it) once said, when I ried bring him “ book for a more than usually ﬂagrant trespass : We

ou e was it we it . th ght th re money in , so did It ou see u was, y , his religion . By and large I sho ld say that American pirates have made say half as many dollars out of my stuff as I am occasionally “ ” charged with having made out of the legitimate market in that country . Into this queer life the Father came to see how two nt t u we fared, and we we wandering in o Q ebec th e where, temperature being 95 and all the world

e t o of dressed all ov r after the conven i n those days, th z we t at e Father was much ama ed . Then visi ed

o old e ot of B ston his fri nd, Charles Eli Norton “ u Harvard, whose da ghters I had known at The ” Grange in my boyhood and s ince . They were

m the o o t Brah ins of B st n Brahmins, living deligh

u but of e f lly, Norton himself, full for bodings as ’ to the u ou t the t e f ture of his land s s l, fel es ablish d

o o earth sliding under him, as h rses feel c ming

- o earth trem rs .

1 22 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEANS

He told us a tale of old days in N ew England .

o so ou the He and another Pr fes r, wandering r nd country in a buggy and discussing high and moral

tte te the f e e ma rs, hal d at farm o an eld rly farm r

e to m who u w ll known the , , in the us al silence of

N ew set o t e t the et England, ab u g t ing horse a buck

The two m n h on of water . e in t e buggy went

t e s us s o the ou of one with h ir di c i n, in c rse which “ ” t : e n to ont n of hem said W ll , accordi g M aig e, ’ a d o Vo o he o s n gave a quotati n . ice fr m t h r e s

e e the e o the u h ad, wh re farm r was h lding b cket ’ ’ ’ n n Mon Twere t Montaig e said that . Twere

” ’ s-ki-e An d te w. twas .

T at o t n was in the or e h , said N r o , middle lat ’ W w an o of Seventies . e t o w dered ab ut the back

a l in a u b ut not of t t a z Sh dy Hi l b ggy, hing ha ma ing

A nd o to o e of er o kind befell us . N r n sp k Em s n and Wendell Holmes and Longfellow and the Alcotts and other inﬂuences of the pas t as we returned to

his o s e alou mon oo library, and he br w d d a g his b ks ; n for he was a scholar amo g s cholars .

But t s t u me and o to om t wha r ck , he wned s e hing

o f the s e ee n was the a a e t st and am f li g, pp r n wa e

effe t enes s in the of th e fo e u in c iv , face r ign inr sh,

of the nous ffo the s e a n all indige e rt of pa t gen r tio . I t was then tha t I ﬁrs t began to wonder whether Abraham Lincoln had not killed rath er too many “ aut t on u e a the War for och h o s Am ric ns in Civil , the beneﬁt of their has tily imported Continental 1 23 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

u . is b u S s pplanters This black heresy, t I have ince

who met men and women have breathed it . The - weakest of th e old type immigrants had been sifted - and salted by the long sailing voyage of those days . ’ But steam began in the later sixties and early ’ seventies, when human cargoes could be delivered with all their imperfections and infections in a - - or so . one o o or o fortnight And milli n, m re less ac li matised Americans had been killed . ’ ’ or 2 6 Somehow other, between 9 and 9 we man

to two n o aged pay ﬂyi g visits t England , where my people were retired and lived in Wiltshire and we learned to loathe the cold North Atlantic more

o on t and m re . On e trip our Steamer came almos

of who u t m to atop a whale, s bmerged just in i e and o u t t un clear us, lo ked p in o my face wi h an ’ z o forgettable little eye th e Si e of a bull ck s . Emi nent Masters R . L . S . will remember what William “ ” Dent Pitman saw of haughty and indeﬁnable in ’ u the hairdresser s waxen model . When I was ill s t a in the us S o tories e e and r t g J t S , I r m mbered strove after that eye .

ent o to u . on We w nce or twice Glo cester, Mass ,

s te the u a summer vi it, when I at nded ann al Memo rial Service to the men drowned or lost in the cod

o s t m t o ﬁ shing schooners . Gl uce er was then the e r p olis of that industry. Conland Now our Dr . had served in that ﬂeet

was . to t when he young One thing leading ano her, 1 24

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

ten t ou - o is imes f ler than any cod sch oner, and I

m t to was i mor ally sick, even though they tried m revive me with a frag ent of unfresh pollock .

t t u the As hough his were not eno gh, when, at

of e a end my tal , I desired that some of my ch rac ters should pass from San Francisco to N ew Yo rk t t n in record ime, and wro e to a railway mag ate of

h o do my acquaintance asking what e himself w uld , - that most excellent man sent a fully worked out

- n t n of n time table, with wateri g hal s, cha ges engi e,

t o t o t so t t mileage, rack c ndi i ns and clima es, ha a o c rpse could not have gone wrong in the schedule .

t e t u t t e My charac ers arriv d ri mphan ly ; and , h n, a real live railway magnate was so moved after read ing the book that he called out his engines and

out his u own called men, hitched p his private

and set e to e m t on o car, hims lf b at y ime paper ver

ent out and u e e . Y et the oo the id ical r e, s cc ed d b k

t to se ou was not all rep orterage . I wan ed e if I c ld catch and hold something of a rathe r b eautiful localised Ame rican atmosphere th at was already

T onl nd beginning to fade . hanks to C a I came near this . — A million or it may have been only forty

t u -ﬁlm n t t e t years la er, a S per Mag a e was in r a y h o A t the with me for t e ﬁlm rights of this b ok .

of th e t n o to ask end si ti g, my Daem n led me if “ ” it were proposed to introduce much sex appeal “ ”

o the . . int great work Why, certainly, said he

1 26 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEANS

- N ow a happily married lady cod ﬁsh lays about

o a n m o three milli n eggs t o e conﬁne ent . I t ld him “ ” s t on as much . He aid : I s that so ? And wen “ ” about ideals . Conland had been long Since

but t t e e t dead, I prayed ha wher v r he was, he migh have heard .

A nd so in t un a oo out , his re l life, ind rs and , four

oo e of e e and o years passed, and a g d d al v rs pr se

s aw the . tte n o cor light Be r tha all, I had kn wn a

the t ta e o e ner of Uni ed S tes as a hous h ld r, which T ou t is the only way of getting at a country . ris s

o b ut it is o may carry away impressi ns, the seas nal detail of small things and doings (such as putting u ﬂ - ee and o e- e u e - a p y scr ns st v pip s, b ying y ast c kes and being lectured by your neighbours) that bite

n n T e e an in in the li es of me tal pictures . hey w r

teres tin o but e n t e e t t t g f lk, b hi d h ir desp ra e ac ivi ies

it mme e and un lay always, seemed to me, i ns — - acknowledged boredom the dead weight of mate

t s s t o u to o t t rial hing pas iona ely w rked p in G ds, ha only bored their worshippers more and worse and

te u n u of Con longer . The in llect al i ﬂ ences their A i tinental immigrants were to come later . t th s time th ey were still more or les s connected with

the s o o the Engli h traditi n and sch ols, and Semitic - - strain had not yet been uplifted in a too much at n w o n o . o as ease Zi S far as I c ncer ed, I felt the

atmosphere was to some extent hostile . The idea “ ” s eemed to be that I was making money out of 1 27 SOMETHING OF MYSELF — America witness the new house and the horses and n was ot sufficiently grateful for my privileges . My visits to England and the talk there persuaded me that th e English scene might be shifting to some new o o o t devel pments, which w uld be w rth wa ch ing. A meeting of the Committee of Ways and

e to h o u M ans came t e c nclusion that Na lakha, “ ” as e ou not desirable it was, m ant only a h se and ” The u our oo e o Ho se of dreams . So we l s d h ld

t t m u te n the and, wi h ano her s all da gh r, bor in early spring snows and beautifully tanned in a sump tu ous u we too s for an t pper verandah, k hip Engl d , af er

n o ot : cleari g up all our accounts . As Emers n wr e

? Wilt thou seal up the avenues of ill

e Pay every debt as if God w rote th bill .

’ of 6 s aw T u The spring 9 us in orq ay, where we found a house for our heads that seemed almost

was t too o to u . I t h g od be tr e large and brigh , wit

o an d o n to the sun the o big r oms each all pe , gr unds embellished with great trees and the warm land dipping southerly to the cl ean sea under the Mary

I t e t for t church cliffs . had b en inhabi ed thir y years

. o T by three old maids We t ok it hopefully . hen

o e o we made two notable disc v ries . Everyb dy was “ learning to ride things called bicycles . In Tor

was u n -t e e quay there a circ lar ci der rack wh r , at

t u men o e o e u sta ed ho rs, and w m n r de sol mnly ro nd

or u co and round on them . Tail s s pplied special s

1 28

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

u almost nchanged, the gardener and his wife in the o u - un large, pen, s nny stable yard , and, quite

the o e changed, same bro ding Spirit of deep, de p

s o O o De p ndency within the pen, lit r oms . But while we were at Torquay there came to me the idea of beginning some tracts or parables on

u u for e on the ed cation of the yo ng . These, r as s

o o t e nto honestly bey nd my c n rol, turn d themselves i

of Stalk Co a series tales called y 8 . My very dear

d Cormell who now u Hea master, Price, had t rned “ ” “ o n u Cromm int U cle Crom or j st y , paid a visit at the time and we discussed s chool things gen

erall . t the u e t o y He said, wi h ch ckl hat I had reas n to no t o o e t e or k w, hat my tracts w uld be s m im bef e

n e n e e they came to their own . O their app ara c th y

e e e t not t ue to w re regard d as irr veren , r life, and “ ” fo t ru . T to o e not r ra her b tal his led me w nd r,

st e at of t s the ﬁr tim , which end heir carca ses grown men keep their school memories . “ T n o t Cromm alking thi gs ver wi h y , I reviled him for the badnes s and scantiness of our food at - Westward H o ! T o which he replied : We el ! F or

w a a one e ll oo s u . thing, were as p r ch rch mice Can y ou remember any one who had as much as a b ob - ’ o t o ? I . ot a week p cke m ney can t For an her, a boy who is always hungry is more interested in his ” h o War belly than in anything else . (In t e B er I learned that the virtue in a battalion living on “ ”— what is known as Two and a half Army bis 1 30 COMMIT TEE OF WAYS AND MEANS u t —a se c i s day is vere . ) Speaking of sickness and “ e e n s : epidemics, which w r u known to us he aid I expect you were healthy because you lived in the ” o t a lk pen almos as much as Dartmoor ponies . St y ’ 65 Co e the t n s o e . b came illegitima e a ce t r of sev ral stories of school life whos e he roes lived through ex

eriences u en e I t s t r p mercif lly d ied to m . is ill ead 5) and I maintain it is a truly valuable collee t o of i n tracts . Our ﬂight from T orquay ended almost by in s tinct at Rottingdean where the beloved Aunt and

t ous and e Uncle had heir holiday h e, wher I had spent my very last days before s ailing for India

1 2 e e ee b ut one fourteen years back . In 88 th r had b n

a bus om ton too o t nute d ily fr Brigh , which k f r y mi s ; and when a s tranger appeared on the village green the native young would s tick out their tongues at

Th o ns o e o t nto the one him . e D w p ur d alm st direc i village s treet and lay out eastward unbroken to

a l a en I t was tt e te e Russi Hi l above Newh v . li l al r d

’

6 . ous t a r e in 9 My c in, S anley B ldwin, had ma ri d “ the eldest daughte r of the Rids dales out of The ”— Dene th e big house tha t ﬂanked one s ide of the ’ “ ” e o t E nd ou com green . My Uncl s N r h H se manded oth er a t r ou o os e the the , and hi d h se pp it church was waiting to be taken according to the Th m r t n ee of t . e decr s Fa e Baldwin a riage, he , made us free of the j oyous young brotherhood and sister “ ” f The its . hood o Dene, and friends 13 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

The Aunt and the Uncle had said to us : Let the Child that is coming to you be born in our ” ou ff n h se, and had e aced themselves till my so J ’ ohn arrived on a warm August night of 97,

n er t u der what seemed ev y good omen . Mean ime, we had rented by direct interposition of Fate that o I t third house pposite the church on the green . stood in a sort of little island behind ﬂint walls

t t ou t ou t which we hen h gh were high en gh, and almos

t o . was o e benea h s me big ilex trees It small, n n too u t but so u te us t well b il , cheap, and s i d who s ill tt ff T t remembered a li le a air at Yokohama . hen here “ ” u t e T grew p grea happin ss between he Dene, ”

o t ou e The . One ou N r h End H s , and Elms c ld - th row a cricket ball from any one house to the b o ut n out 2 A . M . ther, , beyond tur ing at to help a

o u u who tu silly f xho nd p ppy had s ck in a drain, I do not remember any viole nt alarms and excursions other than packing farm-carts ﬁlled with mixed — ’ — babies Stanley Baldwin s and ours and despatch ing them into the safe clean heart of the motherly

o for - o D wns j am smeared picnics . Those D wns “ ” moved me to write some verses called Sussex .

- ott n to To day, from R ingdea Newhaven is almost f o u o u u o o . f lly devel ped s b rb, great h rr r - ’ When the Bume Jones returned to their own

t u o th . Nor h End Ho se, all was m re an well My ’ U tu no n but ncle s world was na rally t mi e, his heart and brain were large enough to take in any 132

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ - — -’ don t you touch ems that every right-minded man

o t u o t who w rks wi h his hands nat rally c llec s . (These matters are detailed because they all come into the

story. )

th o t of on hill Wi in sh r walk him lay F t , the

u o o n and great ho se of Alfred M rris n, millio aire

o t of u t s c llec or of all manner bea tiful hing , his wife contenting herself with mere precious and sub -preci ous An Stones . d my Father was free of all these

e u ot tr as res, and many hers in such houses as “ ” ou s n Cl d , where the Wy dhams lived, a few miles

away . I think that both he and my Mother were

t e s for t t happy in h ir Engli h years, hey knew exac ly what they did not want ; and I knew that when I “ came over to see them I had no need to s ing : Back

turn 0 T th t . ward , backward, ime in y ﬂigh I n oo n u u Kim to a gl my, wi dy a t mn came back me t t o it to o o wi h insistence, and I o k be sm ked ver

our u te to o it e with my Father . Under ni d bacc s gr w

e r the ott like the Djinn r leased f om brass b le, and the more we explored its possibilitie s the more o o opulence of detail did we discover . I do n t kn w

o o t on of an e o te - n what pr p r i ic berg is bel w wa r li e, - b ut Kim as it fin ally appeared was about one tenth v t of what the first la ish Specifica ion calle d for . As to its form there was b ut one possible to the

o who t t was oo for auth r, said tha wha g d enough

f T o the Cervante s was good enough or him . whom “ ’ - Mother : Don t you stand in your wool boots hid 134 COMMITT EE OF WAYS AND MEAN S ing behind Cervantes with me ’ You know you ’ ” u t co ldn make a plot to save your soul . SO I went home much fortiﬁed and Kim took

h o to care of himself . T e only tr uble was keep

him t u . t us e r wi hin bo nds Be ween , we knew ev y and u o step, sight, smell on his cas al r ad, as well

o s met . o re as all the pers n he Once nly, as I

to ot n ffi member, did I have b her the I dia O ce, where there are four acres of books and documents

the e t for rt o on n in basem n s, a ce ain w rk I dian magic which I always sincerely regret that I could

T u out e e t t e . not s teal . hey f ss ab r c ip s h re “ ” ’ The ott n the s ou - e t At Elms, R ingdea , w s er

e t t the l o rag d day and nigh , ill sil y wind ws jiggled

the Com their wedges loose . (Which was why mittee vowed never to have a hous e of their own - - o . e with up and down wind ws . Cf Charles R ade on h d Bu was te on . I a that subject . ) t I qui unc cerned my Eastern sunlight and if I wanted more I could “ ” h e o t a T e e T u . A t t get it t Gabl s, isb ry las I r p r ed “ ” ? t Kim n s e . it or ou the ﬁ i h d Did stop, y Fa her n h m t t w s I . A nd e to i a t asked wh I ld ha it , he said “ ’ ” o Then it oughtn t to be t o bad . He would take no sort of credit for any of his

u t o conﬁ rmations— s gges i ns, memories or not even - for that single touch of the low driving Sunlight which makes luminous every detail in the picture

T he of the Grand Trunk Road at eventide . Hima

a ll sa . layas I painted by myself, as the children y 135 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

So also the picture of the Lahore Museum of which I had once been Deputy Curator for six weeks m unpaid but im ensely important . And there was a - half chapter of the Lama Sitting down in the blue o oo t Kim green shad ws at the f t of a glacier, elling

o out of the J wa u st ries atakas, which s truly bea

t o tiful but, as my old Classic mas er w uld have said, “ ” was e otiose, and it r moved almost with tears . But the cro wn of the fun came when (in 1 902)

u t te on of was issued an ill s ra d editi my works, and the t n o K m H e the ot o Father at e ded t i . had n i n of making low-relief plaques and photographing t e t the hem afterwards . Her it was needful to ca ch

oto who t t n s local ph grapher, , ill he , had speciali ed in privates of the Line with plastered hair and

- o and to u strenu skin tight unif rms, lead him p the ous path of photographing dead things so that

t man they might Show a lit le life . The was a bit

e e e at but t e te e b wild r d ﬁrst, he had a each r of ach rs,

a The n t u and so grew to unde rst nd . i ciden al m ck

the - e u heaps in stable yard w re q ite noticeable, though a loyal housemaid fought them broom and- u t ot e o s - o b cke , and M h r all wed me sy half b rn “ ” s ketches to b e dumped by our careless hands on r so fas and chairs . Natu ally when he got his ﬁnal “ proofs he was sure tha t it all ought to b e done ” n ro t e how agai f m the beginning, which was ra h r

t ou the t b ut it I fel ab t let erpress, , if be possible, 1 36

SOMETHING OF MYSELF I recall we were the only people in that big dining for t room, in those days the A henaeum, till one

ot to o was t g kn w it, rather like a cathedral be ween

s e . But and rvices at any rate I had dined there,

un on . h g my hat Peg 33 . (I have shifted it since ) Before long I realised that if one wanted to know anything from forging an anchor to forging antiqui

’ ties one would ﬁnd the world s ultimate expert in n the matter at lunch . I managed to be take into a t u o -t - old deligh f l wind w able, pre empted by an n the General, who had begu life as a Middy in

m e o e he Cri ea b f r entered the Guards . In his later

s years he was a fearless yacht man, as well as sev e o t and b e t t t ral ther hings, deal fai hfully wi h me when I made technical e rrors in any tale of mine

t s t him . of hat intere ed I grew very fond him, and of four or ﬁve others wh o used that table .

n e o One after oon, I r member, Pars ns of the T urbinia asked if I would care to see a diamond

T h o t t o burned . e dem ns ration ook place in a r om crammed with wires and electric cells (I fo rget what their aggregate voltage was) and all went well ’ T he u for a while . diamond s tip b bbled like

w s nd cauliﬂower a u gra tin . Then there a a ﬂash a

h s t e t e . Bu a crash, and we w re on ﬂoor in darkne s , ’

ons s the on u t . as Pars aid , that was not diam d s fa l

on ot the c old o Am g her pillars of lear, dingy, d wn

a - o e u e stairs billi rd r om was H rc l s Read, of the n t u Britis h Museum o th e Eas ern Antiq ities side . 1 38 COMMITTEE OF WAYS AND MEANS

t e o e but ro Ex ernally, he was v ry hands m , his p fessional u was ev n of u so l black, e for that a C ra

— t e N o e tor and my Fa her had be n a Curator . ( t . I t is entirely right that the English should mistrust

the t o of th n and disregard all Ar s and m st e Scie ces, for on t t ffe t t eu ha indi rence res s heir moral grand r, b ut their starvation in their estimates is sometimes

too marked . ) A t this present age I do not lunch ve ry often at

the t e u it t u me the A h nae m, where has s r ck that

u of the m ou ou b lk me bers are scandal sly y ng, whether elected under Rule T wo or by ballot of

-n do e s e n their fellow i fants . Nor I r li h p rso s of “ forty calling me Sir . My life made me grossly dependent on Clubs h s tu o t . ee n o e t e for my piri al comf r Thr E glish n s,

eu to e t met t Athena m, Carl n, and B efs eak, my wan s,

t Ou r n but the Bee fsteak gave me mos . compa y

u t and one ou s a there was npredic able, c ld y what one pleased at the moment without being taken

h e n at the foot of t e lette r . Som times o e would

u use of ff e o s o s ro draw a f ll ho ﬁve di er nt pr fes i n , f m

h u n e t the Bench to t e Dramatic B cca e r . O her

t e of - t to whiles, hre a kind , chance s randed in wn,

ou to o u t t t n w ld drift in l ng, leis rely alk ha ra ged

t e e t half ear h ov r, and s parate well pleased wi h - e and t o n on . o thems lves their able c mpa i s And nce,

n e t t to o t whe I fear d ha I might have dine al ne, here

m o e entered a me ber wh m I had never seen befor , 139 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- . and have never met since, full of bird preservation By the time we parted what I did not know about bird sanctuaries was scarcely worth knowing . But it was best when of a sudden some one or some thing plunged us all in what y ou might call a gen “ ” ’ own eral rag, each man s tongue guarding his head . There is no race so dowered as the English with

u s -in- the gift of talking real , rich, all ive, cut and “ ” n o u out skittles . America s are t o m ch ance dotards the French too mu ch orators for this light

and n t e e handed game, ei h r race d livers itself so unreservedly to mirth as we do .

in V e t t When I lived illi rs S ree , I picked up with

- e t ﬁ shin - u the shore end of a sel c g cl b , which met in ’ - a tobacconist s back parlour . They were mostly

n e on ro but small tradesme , ke n ach, dace and such, t t t they too had ha gif , as I expect their forebears ’ had in Addison s time . The late Doctor Johnson once observed that we ” n t shall receive o le te rs in th e grave . I am per fectl u t u os e e y s re, ho gh B well n v r set it down, that he lamented the lack of Clubs in that same place .

SOMETHING OF MYSELF t for its so hat the time was ripe publication, , after

one or it to The making two changes in it, I gave “ ” T me o f i s . I say gave because for this kind o m not u w rk I did not take pay ent . It does m ch t matter what people think of a man after his dea h, b ut I should not like the people whose good opin ion I valued to believe th at I took money fo r verses on J C e n Rh oseph hamb rlai , odes, Lord Milner, or any of my South African verse in The Times . It was this uneas iness of mine which led u s do wn ’ to nt the the Cape in the wi er of 97, taking Father t - ou wi h us . There we lived in a boarding h se at i u Wynberg, kept by an Irishwoman, who fa thf lly followed the instincts o f her race and Spread miser ies and discomforts round her in return for good u monies . But the children throve, and the colo r, - t of u light, and half orien al manners the land bo nd chains round our hearts for years to come . It was here that I ﬁrst met Rhodes to have any

as - talk with . He w as inarticulate as a school boy of J o ﬁfteen . ames n and he, as I perceived later,

o not communicated by telepathy . But James n was

t of with him at that time . Rhodes had a habi j erk ing out su—dden questions as disconcerting as those of a child o r the Roman Emperor he so much re s e o me mbled . He said t apropos of noth ing in par ’ ” ticular : What s your dre am ? I answe red that he of th was part it, and I ink I told him that I

o o had come down to l ok at things . He sh wed me 142 SOUTH AFRICA some of his newly established fruit-farms in the

O u ou peninsula , wonderful ld D tch h ses, stalled in deep peace, and lamented the difficulty of getting - sound wood for packing cases and the shortcomings B of native labour . ut it was his wish and his will - that there should be a fruit growing indust ry in

C and s the olony, his cho en lieutenants made it o presently come t pass . The Colony then owed no thanks to any Dutch Ministry in that regard . The racial twist of the Dutch ( they had taken that title to themselves and called the inhabitants of the “ ” Low Countries Hollanders ) was to exploit everything they could which was being done for t wa f hem, to put every obstacle in the y o any sort of o devel pment, and to take all the cash they could

z ou e squee e t of it . In which resp ct they were no better and no worse than many of their brethren. It was against their creed to try and stamp out cat

- u ee or o o u tle plag es, to dip their sh p, to c mbat l c sts, which in a country overwhelmingly pastoral had u its drawbacks . Cape Town, as a big distrib ting

e t c ntre, was dominated in many ways by ra her

- who to nervous shop keepers, wished stand well

u u -o n who e with their c stomers p c u try, and s rved And as Mayors and occasional public officials . the aftermath of the James on Raid had scared many people . During the South African War my position among the rank and ﬁle came to be unoﬂi cially 143 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o t o ab ve tha of m st Generals . Money was wanted to procure small comforts for the troops at the

ont and to t the Dail Mail s t t Fr , his end, y ar ed what “ ” u t n r was ee m s have bee a ve y early stunt . I t agr d n th at I should ask the public for subs criptio s .

r s That paper cha ged itself with the re st . My verse “ - ” ( The Absent minded Beggar ) had s ome ele m n s of e t e b ut was nte out e t dir c app al , as poi d , “ e r r a e e the lack d poet y . Sir A thur Sulliv n w dd d wo rds to a tune guaranteed to pull teeth out of

- o a t e o e barrel organs . Anyb dy could do wh th y ch s

t the re u t te nton or e t etc . wi h s l , reci , sing, i e r prin , , on condition that they tu rned in all fees and proﬁt s - to the main account The Abs ent minded Beggar ” — Fund which closed at about a quarter of a mil

o o e of was en t to o . li n . S m this sp in bacc Men

mo o t a a tt at t o s ked pipes m re h n cig re es hat ep ch, — and the popular brand was a cake chewable also “ ’ — ot -of called H ignett s T rue Affection . My n e hand at the Cape T own depot was good for as

T he much as I cared to take about with me . rest

te m o follo wed . My legra s were given pri rity by

nt o s of con sweating R. E . sergea s fr m all sort in n for ge ste d depots . My seat th e trai was kept me by Briti sh Bayonets in their Shirtsl eeve s . My small baggage was fought for and servilely car

e o o a t s not o ri d by C l ni l de ail , who are n rmally

a nd I was ers ona ratissima e t W n meek, p g at c r ain y berg Hospitals where the nu rses found I was good 144

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

t t obliga ions and he need not hesi ate . Next dawn, - - ’ he was at my bunk side with Anglo India s mo rn

cu he hot ing p of tea . (He must have stolen t

o ot o water fr m the engine, for there was n a dr p in

he the landscape . ) When I asked how t miracle

o out e e t the e had c me ab , he r pli d , wi h smil of my “ ” K u : t own adir B ksh Millar, Sahib, signifying hat “ ” ou or he had f nd ( made ) it . ’ My Bloemfontein trip was on Lord Roberts T order to report and do wha t I was told . his was

at the s t t wo t r who e explained a ion by t s range s, gr w

to s for . nn t e in my friend life, H . A Gwy e, h n Head ’ of u e a Correspondent Re ter s, and Perc v l Landon “ ’ of T he Times You ve got to help us edit a paper o t ort th u for the tro ps, hey said , and f hwi ind cted ” h e offi e for o me into t e newly captur d c , Bl em — — fontein had fallen Boer fashion rathe r like an n o outraged Su day School a few days bef re . The compos itors and the plant were also cap tives of our b ow and spear and rather cross about ’ it—e s the - o e t pecially ex edit r s wif , a German wi h

aw to on o o u . s e a t ng e When one a composi r, t ld ’ him to compose Lord Roberts Official Proclama th t tion to the deeply inj ured enemy . I had e sa is faction of picking up from the ﬂoor a detailed ’ account of how H er Maj e sty s Brigade of Guards had been driven into action by the ﬁ re of our artil lery ; and a proof of a really rude leade r about myself. 146 SOUTH AFRICA

There was in that lull a large trade in proclama — t on and utte at o i s b r half a crown the p und . We

the old o - used all stere s, advertising long since

u te o s t o e exha s d c me ibles, coal and gr ceri s (face o I t n was the n o o t p wder, hi k, o ly surviving c mm di y

the oemfonte o s we e in Bl in sh p ) , and enliv ned e nt s t our own ont u o u th ir i er ices with c rib ti ns, s pple mented the o of u men who oo e by w rks d sty , l k d in

us e ﬁne o — and gave v ry c py mostly libellous .

Ju n e of m e s lia Ralph, the very b st A rican , was

c - o A n h r who a o editor als . d e had a g own s on

went down with a feve r unpleasantly like typhoid .

e for om ete t o o t We s arched a c p n d ct r, and hal ed a

m n who s o t the te of our Ger a , grea was rror arms “ ” “ t the tu e e e u t : But af er cap r , d mand d ha gh ily ” who Shall pay me for my trouble if I come ? N o

one to no b ut e e a men seemed k w, s v r l explained

who ou a n he w ld p y him if he dallied o t way . He ’ o oo at the o Sto and s t ok one l k b y s mach, aid hap “ ” o h pily : Of c urse it is typhoid . T hen came t e

u s t on how to et th e s ove to o ta q e i g ca e r h spi l, which

was n t t o the oe v cu ra k wi h yph id, B rs ha ing t the

h s n a o water s upply . T e ﬁr t thi g w s to fetch d wn

h e e t an a o a t e temp ratur wi h lcoh l sw bbi—ng . Here we were at a stands till till some genius I think — “ ’ ’ it was Landon s aid : I ve noticed there s an offi ’ ’ ” h o cer s wife in t e place wh s wearing a fringe . On this hint a man went forth into the wide dusty

s e s e t un her . tre ts, and pre n ly fo d , fringe and all

147 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

Heaven knows how she had managed to wangle sh t her way up, but e was a sportswoman of pures “ ” . oo S water Come to my r m, said he, and in pass “ ’ ot : t ing over the priceless b tle, only sighed Don — ” use all o bo it unless y u have to . We ran the y down from 103 to a generous 99 and pushed him i into hospital, where t turned out that it was - not typhoid after all but only bad veldt fever .

e h t u First and last there wer , I t ink, eight ho

o to sand cases of typh id in Bloemfontein. Often ” my knowledge both ceremonial Union Jacks in “ ” t e a ba talion would b e in us e at the same tim . Extra corpses went to th e grave under the service blanket .

t e s s ffi o i no Our own ut er car le ness, o ciald m and g - rance were responsible for much of the death rate . “ ” I have seen a Horse Battery dead to the wide

o c me in at midnight in raging rain and be assigned,

se ou of by some idiot saving him lf tr ble, the site an - — evacuated typhoid hospital . Result thirty cases

a e after a month . I h ve se n men drinking raw - Modder river a few yards below where the mules were staling ; and the organ isation and Siting of b “ - ” latrin es seemed to e cons idered nigger work . T he most important medical office in any Battalion

u to t- s a of o ght be Provos Mar h l Latrines .

o s t of To typh id was added dy en ery, the smell which is even more depressing than the stench of

ne ou human carrion . O c ld wind the dysentery

148

SOMETHING OF MYSELF but s m e who , a hort while after, I et an oﬂi c r , in “ ” the n wa . old I dian days, s nicknamed the Sardine but t He was calm, ra her fuz z y as to the outlines of his o unif rm, which was frayed and ripped by

. t bullets Yes, here had been trouble where he

but was of came from, he fuller for the moment professional admiration . “ t was ? Wha it like They got us in a donga . J ‘ t o to t . t s e s us like g ing in a thea re S all l ft, dre s ’ ’ o ou no ? o e circle right, d n t y k w We j ust dr pp d ‘ o t it was n t int the rap, and Infa try his way, ’ . h ut u to t e t i ou . please G ns righ , f y please Bea i ? ful bit of work ! H ow many did they get of us ou e u t ou — Ab t twelv h ndred, I hink, and f r maybe — ’ six . b a guns Expert j o they made of it . Th t s - ’ the result of bill stickin expeditions And with

o to the he too on . more c mpliments foe, passed By the time that I returned to Bloemfontein the populace had it that eighty thous and Boers

os in on the to n at on e the were cl ing w c , and Press

so Lo e now e Cen r ( rd Stanl y, Derby) was besieg d t o o o t wi h pers ns anxi us t elegraph to Cape Town . - T o him a non Aryan pushed a domestic wire “

t e e . ta e m wea her her changeabl S nl y, hi self a little worried for the fa te of some of his friends in

t a u o u n u e e t e n . tha mb scaded c l m , reb k d the g n l ma “ ” “ The Sardine was right about the bill-stick ing expeditions . Wandering columns had been sent round the country to Show how kind the Brit 150 SOUT H AFRICA ish e e to to o But d sir d be the misguided B er . the

T an o not e to - was u r svaal B er, b ing a wn bird, nim “ e the of e t te t press d by fall the Fr e S a capi al, and

oo e on e i ran l s the v ldt with h s pony and Mauser.

t r to tt e So he e had be a ba l , which was called the att e of K he St ff B l ari Siding. All t a of the

oe m o tei a t was ut Bl f n n F riend t ended . I p in a

t e e o t n n s of Cape cart, with na iv driv r, c n ai i g mo t

the n s t me was e - n dri k , and wi h a w ll know war

o n Th ormou e n s swal c rresponde t . e en s pal la d cape

o u t ou t oo ou S n l wed p seven h sand r ps with t a ig ,

f our along a ront of seven mil es . On way we

s se o t o of t t pa d a c llec i n nea , deep and emp y trenches well unde rcut for shelter on the shrapnel

s e . oun u offi e e e t o ote to id A y g G ards c r, r c n ly pr m d - — Bre ve t Maj or and rather sore with the paper that — we had printed it Branch s tudied them intere st d - u dl . T e th s nes of the u o e y hey w re e ﬁr t dim li g t, un b ut his and our eyes were held . The H had

es e t s ecund um artem b ut the o d ign d hem , B er t had pre ferred the open wi hin reach of his pony. - A t las t we came to a lone farm house in a vale

e adorned with no less than five white flags . B yond the ridge was a sputter of musketry and now d- “ e the oo of fiel e . and th n wh p a pi ce Here, said “

u we et out and . my guide and g ardian, g walk ” - o Our d river will wait for us at the farm h use . But

N o sar. e ot . the e ou t . driv r l dly objec ed , Th y sho “ t t -ﬂa ed They shoot me . But hey are whi e gg all 1 5 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

“ o . sar. w ver, we said Yess, That hy , was his s an wer, and he preferred to take his mule s down o int a decently remote donga and wait our retu rn . - The farm house (you will see in a little why I

so two n two am detailed) held men and, I thi k, wo e n s . We m n, who received u disin terestedly we t on into a vacant world full of sunshine and dis

now and u to tances, where again a single b llet sang

os e himself. What I m t obj ected—to was the s nsa o of n e ﬁ re e e ti n bei g under aim d being, as it w r , “ u e t req ir d as a head . What are th ey doing his ” “ thi for ? I asked my friend . Because they nk n L u t we are the Somethi g ight Horse . They o gh

the to be just under this slope . I prayed that par ticularly Something Light Horse would go el s e

h e e t where, whic they pr s n ly did, for the aimed n o to ﬁre slackened and a wa dering Colonial, b red

t e n . extinc ion, turned up with n ws from a far ﬂa k “ N o nothing doing and no one to see T hen more cracklings and a most cau tious move forward to the lip of a large hollow where sheep were graz ing . Some of them began to drop and kick . “ ’ ” t s - Tha s both sides trying ighting shots, said my “ ” e ? companion . What rang do you make it I “ ’

e . e the . ask d Eight hundr d, at nearest That s ’ a ou see an close quarters nowad ys . Y ll never y

o er ﬂ it im thing closer than this . M d n ri es make ’ o u p ssible . We re hung p till something cracks somewhere There was a decent lull for meals on 1 52

SOMETHING OF MYSELF the K was us vice absurd rupp faith fully feeling for ,

ou t Light Horse, and, given a few more h rs, migh of t s perhaps hit one us . Then to the lef , almo t us under , a small piece of hanging woodland ﬁlled ’ and fumed with our shrapnel much as a man s u - I t mo stache ﬁlls with cigarette smoke . was most impressive and lasted for quite twenty minutes . Then silence ; then a movement of men and horses

our o the our from side up the sl pe, and hangar guns had been hammering spat steady fi re at them . More Boer ponies on more Skylines ; a last flurry - of p om poms on the right and a little friez e of far - off out of . meek tailed ponies, already rifle range “ Ma ees h o s o to fi , said the c rre p ndent, and fell ’ ” ’ t writing on his knee . We ve shif ed em . Leaving our infantry to follow men on pony

o the u t u to the back t wards Eq a or, we ret rned farm

o o e o h use . In the d nga wh re he was waiting s me one squibbed off a riﬂe j us t after we took our

s our e o e out seat , and driv r ﬂ gg d over the rocks o t to the danger of our sacred b t les . T o ont and G S o hen Bl emf ein, w—ynne t rming in late with his accounts complete one hundred and

e t -ﬁve su t s and O o tw n y ca al ie , the general pini n “ ” that French was a bit of a butcher and a tale of the Gene ral commanding the cavalry who ab so lutely refused to break up his horses by gallop —“ ’ ing them across raw rock not for any dam

Boer . 1 54 SOUTH AFRICA

o t ot u o M n hs later, I g a c tting fr m an Ameri can e on o o — pap r, inf rmati n from Geneva even - — then a pest house of propaganda describing how

o ofﬁ cers— t I and s me names, da e, and place cor — - rect had entered a farm house where we found two men and three women . We had dragged the women from under the bed where they had taken refuge (I assure y ou that no T antie Sannie of that day could bes tow herself beneath any known bed) ’ and n t u e s t s , givi g hem a h ndr d yard s art, had hot

e th m down as they ran .

e t e the s t u me as o Ev n h n, beastline s s r ck m re Bu t t ou comic than signiﬁcant . t by hat ime I ght ’ to have known that it was the Hun s reﬂection of - his own face as he spied at our back windows . “ ’ ” He had thrown in the hundred yards start touch as a tribute to our national sense of fair play. From the business point of view the war was u te ridiculous . We charged o rselves step by s p with the care and maintenance of all Boerdom

o e women and children included . Whence h rribl n nt - tales of our atrocities in the co ce ration camps . One of the most widely exploited charges was ’ our deliberate cruelty in making prisoners tents b and quarters open to the north . A Miss H o

ou e o o was ou tt b ut h s am ng thers l d in this ma er, she was to be excused . - We were Showing off our newly built little ” oo s to on u - ou t W l ack a great lady her way p c n ry, 155 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o where a residence was being built f r her . At the larder the wife pointed out that it faced south that quarter being the coldest when one is south of the Equator . The great lady considered the ff t . heresy for a momen Then, with the British sni “ ’ u ! al which abolishes the abs rd, Hmm I shan t low that to make any difference to me . Some Army and Navy Stores Lists were intro ’ duced one s into the pris rs camp , and the women returned to civil life with a knowledge of cor t— and o sets, stockings, toile cases, ther accessories frowned upon by their clergymen and their hus t bands . Qua women hey were not very lovely, t but they made their men ﬁgh , and they knew well how to ﬁght on their own lines . - - In the give and take of our work our troops - got to gauge the merits of the commando leaders

e e they were facing . As I r m mber the scale, De

t two un re t Wet, wi h h d d and ﬁf y men, was to be

e t m taken seriously . With twic hat nu ber he was ow t of likely to fall over his n fee . Smuts ( Cam

n men su e bridge) , warri g, as r d me, in a black suit,

u to the e to - tro sers rucked kn es, and a p hat, could un re b ut on ot handle ﬁve h d d , bey d that, g mud

h o e s so t t e . dled . And wi h th r I had the felicity of

t a t s e meeting Smu s as Bri i h G neral , at the Ritz t during the Great War . Medi ating on things seen f t and suf ered, he said hat being hunted about the

o veldt on a p ny made a man think quickly, and 1 56

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

“ - - ought to be a fi rst class dress parade for Arma ” o but gedd n, their practical conclusion s were mis - - . ifl u do the leading Long range, aimed r e fi re wo ld wo rk of the future : troops would never get nearer

t ou t I nfan each o her than half a mile, and M n ed

u ou try wo ld be vital . This was because, having f nd

ou o o on o men f ot cann t overtake men p nies, we created eighty thousand of as good Mounted I n fantr h e y as t e world had seen . F or these West rn u o o t E r pe had n use . Ar illery preparation of wire

o u as not at Ma ers fontein w rks, s ch were g , was ’ e o o e on rath r verlooked in the ref rm rs schemes, account of the difficulty of bringing up ammuni

o - m- s t o o e . The o o i n by h rse p w r p p m , and Lord ’ Dundonald s o n- es ate u gall ping light gu carriag , p o u their own weight in shell in three or f ur min tes .

the at o o In ramshackle hotel Bl emf ntein, where the Correspondents lived and the Offi cers dropped

one t as o t in, heard free and ﬁerce deba e p in s came u b ut— n no of the -com p , si ce one dreamt internal b us tion engine that was to stand the world on its

our s tu thick head, and since wirele s appara s did not — work in those landscapes we were all beating the air . Eventually the war pete red out on political o o —and lines . Br ther B er all ranks called him

— do e t that would ev ry hing except die . Our men did not see why they should perish chas ing stray o m in o - c m andoes, or festering bl ck houses, and 158 SOUTH AFRICA there followed a sort of demoralising handy pandy of alternate surrenders complicated by exchange of Army tobacco for Boer brandy which wa s ot bad for b h sides .

A t o t we e t o o to l ng las , w re lef ap l gising a

e -n n eo e o we u d eply i digna t p pl , wh m had been n rs ing and doctoring for a year or two ; and who now t m of t expec ed, and received, all anner free gif s and appliances for the farming they had never

o o t o practised . We put them in a p siti n o uph ld and expand their primitive lust for racial domina “ ” t we e of k . tion, and hanked God w re rid a nave

Into these shifts and changes we would descend yearly for ﬁ ve or s ix months from the peace of “ ” to the e e e of the oo England de p r p ace W lsack,

e u e the oak- e o e n o and lif nd r tr es v rha ging the pati ,

e o - u u t t e to wh re m ther sq irrels ta gh heir babi s climb, and in the stillness of hot afternoons the fall of an T acorn was almost like a shot . o one Side of us

was eu tu o e x a pine and calyp s gr v , heavy with mi ed

nt our e t o e sce ; in front gard n, where any hing n planted out in May became a blossoming bush by

m the a f Dece ber . Behind all tiered ﬂ nk O Table

ou t its o of S -t e M n ain and c pses ilver r es, ﬂanking ’ “

a . T o et to e u o sc rred ravines g Rhod s ho se, Gr ote ’ uu one u t Sch r, sed a pa h through a ravine set with ’ utu hydrangeas, which in a mn (England s spring) 1 59 SOMET HING OF MYSELF

one o were s lid packed blue river . T o this Paradise - — we moved each year end from 1 900 to 1 907 a

o of o e s c mplete equipage g v rness, maid and chil so t dren, tha the latter came to know and there

o e to w o f r , as children will, o n the Uni n Castle — Line stewards and all : and on any change of gove rness to instruct the new hand how cabins were “ set away for a long voyage and what went ” where . Incidentally we lost two governesses and one oo t s loved c k by marriage, the epid eas being

o t ou pr pi i s to such things .

- o Ship b ard life, going and coming, was a mere prolongation of South Africa and its interests . There were Jews a plenty from the Rand ; Pio neers ; Native Commis sioners de aling with Basutos or Zulus ; men of the Matabele Wars and the open ing of Rhodesia ; prospectors ; politicians of all

t u of u n ffi s ripes, all f ll their b si ess ; Army o cers

o o one t e t als , and fr m of hes , when I expec ed no “ ” u e tt s ch j ewel, I got a tale call d Li le Foxes so true in detail that an awed Superintendent of

o out of o u e P lice wrote me P rt S dan, d manding how I had come to know the ve ry names of the hounds in the ve ry pack to which he had been But his ut . Whip in yo h , as I wrote him back, th I had been talking with e Master .

J on too on e o e ames , , ce cam h m with us, and disgraced himself at the table which we kept for

o t n s h two ours elves . A m s E gli h lady wit fair

1 60

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- fo re leg below the kn ee if it could not snatch it away . No fence could hold them when they cared o J t shift . ameson and I once saw a family of t tu n o z hree re r ing fr m an excursion . A heavy snee e oo - o n w d p st fe ce and wires lay in the path, blind tight except where the lowest wire spanned a s mall

. out u the ditch Here Papa kneeled, sn ed nder wire

on o it u so till it slid al g his withers, h ve p , and

o e crawled through . Mamma and Baby f llow d in -m e o . s o e the sam fashi n At thi , an aged lawn w r pony who was watching conceived he might also

e b ut ot no u escap , g f rther than backing his fat

- u t n t one of the o hind q ar ers agai s p sts, and turning round from time to time in wonder that it had not

wa o com . s J given away It , as ames n said, the l p ete allegory of the Boer and the Briton . In another paddock close to the house lived a spit t o u t the ing llama, wh se pec liari y children learned

. But t tt to not t early heir li le visi rs did , and, if hey were told to stand close to the fence and make — t o Y ou the . noises, hey did nce can see rest But our most interesting visito r was a bull t ou u kudu of some eigh een hands . He w ld j mp

- o ur t the seven foot fence r und o lit le peach orchard, hook a loaded branch in the great rings of his

o it off t e the h rns, rend wi h a j rk, eat peaches,

e t e the e l aving the stones, and lif himself ov r wir s,

ou u of T t . like a cl d, p the ﬂank able Moun ain

o t nn Once, c ming home af er di er, we met him at

1 62 SOUTH AFRICA

the oot o f e h oo t f the gard n, gigantic in t e m nligh ,

and e om s s ou e f tched a c pa r nd him, walking d li

catel the u y , warm red dust in our shoes : beca se we knew that a few days befo re the keepers had give n him a dose of small shot in his s tern for ’ o o chasing s meb dy s cook . ’ The children s chape ron on their walks was a — u o Jum o—of te t to om b lld g b rriﬁc aspec , wh all K ffi T n a rs gave full right of way . here was a lege d

t o e ta e o of t e hat he had nc k n h ld a na iv and , when at t t out u las removed, came away wi h his m h f ll

of n . o out the ou ative N rmally, he lay ab h se and

apologised abjectly when anyone stepped on him .

e fed t u n t e The childr n him wi h c rra t buns and h n,

t u ts r n e t e ou remembering hat c rran we e i dig s ibl , w ld pick them out of his back teeth while h e held his

e e dribbling jaws car fully op n . A baby lion was another of our family for one

nt . ot e e s n to wi er His m h r, Alic , de iri g eat him

o was out t oo s t when b rn, he raked wi h br m icks “ ” e t e oot uu from her sid and ak n to Gr e Sch r where, - in spite of the unwilling attentions of a she dog - foster mother (he had of course the claws Of a cat )

. nte t t e he he pined The wife hi d hat, wi h car , “ ” “ ’ V r oo o t o e . migh rec ver y g d, said Rh des I ll ‘ ’ send him over to the Woolsack and you can try .

o u te - o den and o e He came, with c rr ga d ir n f st r t h mother comple e . The latter t e wife dismissed ;

out u t s tou oto - o went and bo gh t m r gl ves, and the 1 63 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ of t t t . largest babies bot les, and fed him for hwi h

H e a of t ot u highly pproved his, and ceased n to p ll at the o it wa um b ttle till s all empty . His t my

t een was hen slapped, as it might have b a water

o to u t it n u and to mel n, be s re hat ra g f ll , he went

. u e and o in his den sleep Th s he liv d thr ve , which

en e o t the childr w re f rbidden to en er, lest their ou u caresses sh ld inj re him .

Wh o z en he was ab ut the si e of a large rabbit,

cut tt e of te and ou n he li l pins eth, made c ghi g noises which he wa s persuaded were genuine roars .

o s and was s t Later, he devel ped ricket , I de pa ched “ o to an expert at Cape T own to ask for a cure . T o ” “

u s the t . m ch milk, aid exper Give him real , - - ” not o tor e o e utto ot . T at c ld s ag , b il d m n br h his

t he e us to ou u e b ut ﬁrs r f ed t ch in the sa c r, was ’ u to n ind ced lick the wife s dipped ﬁ ger, whence he e the . o e r moved skin His ears were b x d , and he was left alone with the saucer to learn table

nn . t but the ma ers He wailed all nigh , in morn in e mo t oo g lapped lik a lion a ng Chris ians, and s n

o t got rid o f his inﬁrmity . F r hree months he was at o us e nt to se large am ng , inc ssa ly talking him lf as he wandered about the house or in the garden

oz on the where he s talked butterﬂies . He d ed

to ot e due o and s ut oo t s ep, I n ic d, n rth o h, l king wi h — s low eyes up the length of Africa always a little

oo but o e t to the al f, b dien children , who at that 1 64

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ th ’ haven t left it on e stoep . I t s crawling . ) Many “ ’ came . As the children p ut it : There s always lots f ” o dirty ones . When Rhodes was hatching his scheme of the

u o e Scholarships, he wo ld come v r and, as it were, or t W think aloud discuss, mainly wi h the ife, the

was who expense Side of the idea . I t she sug gested that £250 a year was not enough for scholars who would have to carry themselves through the “ ” SO long intervals of an Oxfo rd year . he made

o it three hundred . My us e t him was mainly as a purveyor of words ; for he was largely inarticu

resented~and on late . After the idea had been p e — “ had to know his code for it he would say : What

e ? sa . am I trying to xpress Say it, y it So I

sa and the u not would y it, if phrase s ited , he would

n tt e t . work it over, chi a li l down, ill it satisﬁed him “ ” The order of his life at Groote Schuur was

o something like this . The seni r guest allotted their “ ” w s o rooms to men ho wi hed t see him . They did not come except for good reaso n connected with ” e e t saw their work, and th y stay d ill Rhodes

two or t . them, which might be hree days His heart compelled him to lie down a good deal on a huge couch on the marble-ﬂ agged verandah facing - up Table Mounta in towards the four acre patch of

ou t - z on the hydrangeas, which lay like lapis la uli “ - - . ou sa : So so . see lawns He w ld y Well, and I ? ” t the . you. What is i And case would be put

1 66 SOUTH AFRICA

- - There was a man laying the Cape to Cairo tele

who o e t graph, had c m to a stretch of seven y miles

e t beside a lake, wh re he ladies of thos e parts e o o too it o steemed c pper above g ld, and k fr m the o t p les for heir adornment . What to do ? When

e os t o o e u he had ﬁnished his xp i i n Rh d s, t rning “ ’ heavily on his couch said : You ve got some sort

of e t ou ? it . lak there, haven y Lay like a cable ’ ” Don t bother me with a little thing like that .

v o set sur the Pala er d ne , and at his lei e man returned . One met interes ting folk at Groote Schuu r

O t n e e o of the meals, which f e nd d in l ng talks days f o building up Rhodesia .

u the ta e o t so D ring Ma bel War Rh des, wi h me

Ot e e n on o h rs, und r a guide, had wa dered h rseback

o the m ts of t and to t e u e bey nd li i safe y, had ake r f g

tu o n nt un in some caves . The si ati n was emi e ly

t e of s om r at e heal hy, and in vi w e ang y M abel s t f B hunting them they had o spur out o it . ut the

u t e the o n guide, j st when the par y wer in pe , was foolish enough to s ay something to the effect that ’ “ ” b n Rhodes s valuable life was to e co sidered . “ ’ Upon which Rhodes pulled up and said : Let s

o get this straight be fore we go on . Y u led us into ’ ” “ i B t ou ? Y es s r . ut leas e this mess, didn y , , yes p ”

N o . t nut . o e u come on . Wai a mi e C ns q ently ’ ’ e ou own e a n ou ? you re running to sav y r hid , re t y “ ” “ ’

sir. . . o Yes, We all are That s all right I nly 167 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

’ it tt on. wanted to have se led . N ow we ll come

it os And they did, but was a cl e shave . I heard this

e his at his table, even as I h ard delayed reply to a query by a young officer wh o wished to know what

o e Rh des thought of him and his care r. Rhodes post h poned his answer till dinner and t en, in his char acteristic o t the man voice, laid d wn hat young

u e but would eminently s cc ed, only to a certain point, because he was always thinking of his career and not of the job he was doing . Thirty later years proved the truth of his verdict .

1 68

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o . u c ver eight miles an hour Its hire, incl ding “ ” t driver, was hree and a half guineas a week . The

e o who o e b l ved Aunt, feared n thing creat d, said ” - Me too ! So we three house hunted together tak ing risks of ign orance that made me shudder o t - thr ugh af er years . But we went to Arun del and

s t t e the back, which was ix y miles, and re urn d in - a o ! and f w t rat s me ten h ur day We, a e o her despe e

o oo the t o u u pi neers, t k ﬁrs sh ck of o traged p blic o Opinion . Earls sto d up in their belted barouches - us . o a t and cursed Gipsies, g verness c r s, brewery — waggons all the world except th e poor patient hors es who woud have been quite quiet if left alone

o o o e The Times j ined in the c mminati n s rvice, and “ ” - o t oo leaders on motor cars were e li hic in outl k . - “ Then I bought me a steam car called a Loco ” o o t t t u m bile , wh se nature and a tribu es I fai hf lly “ ” drew in a tale called Ste am Tactics . She reduced

m t o f te a u us to the li i s fatigue and hys ri , all p and

u . t the t L st down S ssex Nex came earlies anche er,

e at t t e . whose springing, ev n tha im , was perfect

u tu ch au f But no designer, man fac rer, owner, nor

T he of feur knew anything about anything . heads

t u t u ou t r the Lanches er ﬁrm wo ld, af er f ri s eleg ams, visit us as friends (we were all friends in those

sit o n our t s e u n days) and r u d hear h p c lati g, —Why . e ou es she What did That Onc , the pr d d igner

—to as was his newest baby ok me far as Worthing, - where she fainted opposite a vacant building lot . 1 70 TH E VERY—OWN HOUSE

This we paved completely with every other ﬁtting t hat she possessed ere we got at her trouble . We - ’ t re her tw ou b hen assembled , a o h rs j o . After te our which, she spat boiling wa r over laps, but we

uff ru to e st ed a g in the g yser and so spouted home . - But it was the heart breaking Locomobile that brought us to the house called We

an e t of her had seen advertisem n , and we reached

o an n r e t- o her d wn e la g d rabbi h le of a lane . At very ﬁrst sight the Committee of Ways and Means ’ : “ ' said That s her The Only She ! Make an — ” honest woman of her quick ! We entered and

her t— — o felt Spiri her Feng Shui to be go d . We went through every room and found no shadow of

n ent t e nor a ci regrets, s iﬂed mis ries, any menace, “ ” though the new end of her was three hundred “ ’ ld T o our wo years o . e the Owner said : I ve ”

u t let it t e on . j s for welv m ths We withdrew, each repeatedly telling the other that no sens ible person would b e found dead in the stuffy little valley where she Stood . We lied thus while we pretended to oo ot o t l k at her h uses ill, a year later, we saw her

t ot . adver ised again, and g her

Wh e was e n all sign d and sealed, the seller said

ow ou N ow I can ask you something. H are y going to manage about getting to and from the ’ ’ s t t on ? I t s ne u u a i arly fo r miles, and I ve sed up “ ’ two pair of horses on the hill here . I m think

of s of t ing u ing this sort contrap ion, I replied 1 7 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o in—J fr m my seat ane Cakebread Lanchester, I “ t n was her s ou hi k, di hon rable name . Oh ! Thos e ’ ” t o t ! t hings haven t c me to s ay he re urned . Years t met af erwards I him, and he conﬁ ded that had he

o o kn wn what I had guessed, he w uld have as ked the mo twice ney . In three years from our pur chase the railway station had passed out of our

. uff lives In seven, I heard my cha eur say to an - - “ under powered visiting sardine tin : Hills ? There ’ an on the L ain t y hills ondon road . The House was not of a type to present to

or - t e servants by lamp candle ligh . H nce elec tricit 1 02 e ou a ff We y , which in 9 was a s ri s air .

at - to e t Sir chanced, a week end visit, m e William

who es n the ou Willcocks, had d ig ed Ass an Dam ff - on e . N ot to o o a triﬂing a air the Nil be ver cr wed, we told him of our project for de-clutching the - water wheel from an ancient mill at the end of our n its o o - o garden, and usi g micr sc pical mill p nd to “ ” T o ? run a turbine . hat was en ugh ! Dam said “ ’ o o n o t ou or he . Y u d n t k w any hing ab t dams ’

e and oo . o turbines . I ll com l k That Monday m rn

e t us the o the m he cam wi h , explored br ok and ill

u t o t u ou of sl i , and f re old tr ly the exact am nt - horse power that we should get out of our turbine “ ” e Four and a half and no more . But he call d me for the t t of Egyptian names s a e my brook, “ ’

t t u u . which, ill hen, I had deemed pict resq e It s ’ Cut all messed up with trees and bushes . em down 1 72

SOMETHING OF MYSELF — which is a gift the a sthetic disposition of dirt ; persons of contrivance who could conj ure with any t of - sor material . A S our electric light campaign o o ut devel ped, a Lond n contractor came down to p - - a ﬁfteen inch education pipe through the innocent

- os s seeming mill dam . His imported gang came acr a solid core of ancient brickwork about as work

. e t t o able as obsidian They l f , after using very s r ng B “ ” words . ut every oth er man of o ur folk had

o t t t at o e kn wn exac ly where and wha h c r was, and “ ” n Lu uffi e t ene it t e whe nnon had s ci n ly weak d , h y “ ” conjured the pipe quietly through what re

e main d . The only thing that eve r shook them was when we cut a little unde r the Mill foundatio ns to ﬁx the turbine ; and found that she sat on a crib or ra ft of two- - t too am foot square elm logs . Wha we k c e out to u tou it , all appearance, as n ched as when

ut u t . u had been p nder wa er Yet, in an ho r, the

to S u t great baulk, exposed air, became ilver d s , and

T one the men stood round marvelling . here was

t o o e t s t me t among hem, cl se up n s ven y when we ﬁr , t nt a poacher by heredity and ins inct, a ge leman

to on who, when his need drink was him, which too t it out was not often, absen ed himself and had “ ” alone ; and he was more one with Nature than our s e whole parlours full of poets . He became p cial o to stay and c unsellor . Once we wanted shift - a lime and a witch elm into the garden proper . He 1 74 THE VERY—OWN HOUSE

said not a word till we talked of getting a tree “ ’ s s t om Lo ou . peciali fr ndon . Have it as y re minded ” I un o as u wa s ou com d n I sho ld if I y , was his

ment . By this we unders tood that he would take th charge when e planets were favourable . Pres

t e u ou of own en ly, he call d p f r his kin (also art

is ts s r ) and bru hed us as ide . The t ees came away

n . H e t e t due for ki dly placed h m, wi h regard their growth for the next two or three generations ; sup

o te e o t o t t ff p r d th m, thr a and b le, with s ays and s i en

n and o o us t t u f r u . i gs, bade h ld hem h s fo r years

The t now All fell out as he had foretold . rees are d close on forty foot high and have never ﬂinche .

u e - o t - t Eq ally, a w ll gr wn wi ch elm hat needed dis

ci line to to e p , he climbed in and pped, and she carri s

t h r m to his day t e g ace ful do e he gave her. In his — - later years he lived to be close on eighty ﬁ ve

he ou as o now e w ld, I am d ing , revi w his past, which held incident enough for many unpublish

f old o i o um . H e o e o n able v l es sp k l ves, ﬁghts, “ tri ues n ou u t n g , ano ym s den ncia io s by such folk as ” n e t and t o s e k w wri ing, vindic ive c n piracies carri d u o out with oriental thoro ghness . Of p aching he

t its u Cocculus alked in all branches, from b ying

I dic s for o ﬁsh in o to n u p isoning p nds, the art of - - — making silk nets for trout brooks mine among

t em he e t s n me of h , and l f a pecime to ; and pitched - battles (guns barred) with heavy handed keepers ’ in the old days in Lord Ashburnham s woods where 175 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o - a man might pick up a fall w deer . His sagas were

t tu s of tu he k e lighted wi h pic re Na re as , indeed, n w - - her ; night pieces and dawn breakings ; stealthy re u the t out t rns and hinking of alibis, all naked by the e ﬁre, whil his clothes dried ; and of th e face and temper of the next twilight unde r which he

t t to o o his o is e t s ole for h f ll w passi n . H wif , af er she o us ten a u had kn wn for ye rs, wo ld range

u t t e t t thro gh a pas hat acc p ed magic, witchcraf and - o for t t e n l ve philtres, which las h re was a dema d ’ as late as the middle six ties . She described one midnight ritual at the local ’ ” tt e o wise woman s co age, wh n a black c ck was “ t u ou t and o all killed wi h c ri s ri es w rds, and de

was s ome one n to o thro u h time dere , like, tryi g c me g

o u o as e e at ye fr m outside in de dark . D nn I b li ve

u u t s now b ut so m ch in s ch hing , when I was a maid ” — b did e e o I I j usta out ! She di d w ll ver ninety, the t and and to the last carried act, manner pres - e for she so m nce, all was s all , of an old world

Duchess .

T e u u e h re were interesting and helpf l o tsid rs,

who e too . ou r One was a j rneyman bricklayer , I

e a o o o m mber, kept st re of g ld s vereigns loose in

u us b ut so his pocket, and kindly b ilt a wall ; leisurely that he came to b e almost part of the

we s e to n e e stabli shment . When wi h d si k a w ll o o te ome ott s he s t o f pp si s c age , aid he had the gif

t -ﬁndin and te t t e one wa er g, I s ify hat, wh n he held 1 76

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

how o stand , when my c usin, Ambrose Poynter, “ said to me : Write a yarn about Roman ﬁrm s “ ” “ r was t he e, I interes ed . Write, said he, about an old Centurion of th e Occupation telling his ex “ ” eriences to e ? p his children. What is his nam

o . I demanded, for I move easiest from a given p int ” P a rnesius tu , said my cousin ; and the name s ck in my head . I was then on Committee of Ways and Means (which had grown to include Public or on but a o W ks and Communicati s) , in due se s n, — the name came back with seven other inchoate “ ” m t e . Off e to d vils I went Com itt e, and began ha ch, “ in which state I was a brother to dragons and ” o a c mpanion to owls . Just beyond the west fringe of ou r tt e e n N o land, in a li l vall y ru ning from

e e -at- o o wh r to Nothing all , st od the long, ver

o — o t os gr wn slag heap of a m s ancient forge, supp ed to have been worked by the Phoenicians and Ro

t u e u t mans and, since hen, nint rr p edly till the mid dle of the eighteenth centu ry. The bracken and u - t hid t of one r sh pa ches still s ray pigs iron, and if - scratched a few inches through the rabbit sh aven tu one the o u - rf, came on narr w m le tracks of pea ’ cock-hued furnace-slag laid down in Eliz abe th s

Th o out of t day . e ghost of a r ad climbed up his

e our was d ad arena, and crossed ﬁelds, where it “ ” kno Gunwa u con wn as The y , and pop larly

c of t ne ted with Armada time s . Every foot hat little corner was alive with ghosts and shadows 1 78 TH E VERY-OWN HOUSE

e it our to act for us the Th n, pleased children , in

O e t t e e i d mmer p n, wha h y r membered of A M s u ’ N i ht s Dre m T en ea g a . h a friend gave them a r l - o a e t ee n birch bark can e, drawing t l ast hr i ches, in

h e t oo in which t y wen adventuring on the br k . And - a near pasture of the water meadows lay out an old n t n and u shif ing Fairy Ri g . You see how patiently the cards were stacked ? and dealt into my hands The Old Things o f our Valley glided into every aspect of our outdoor

. t t r o works Ear h, Air, Wa e and Pe ple had been — — I s aw it at last in full conspiracy to give me

ten t s u ou o ss n ime as m ch as I c ld c mpa , eve if I

ot o et to of as t t t wr e a c mpl e his ry England, ha migh

o have t uched or reached our Valley .

off at s o —not on P arnesius b ut to I went c re , a s ry

to fo tt t te who ld in a g by a pe y Bal ic pira , had

ou t his to ens e and off ea br g—h galley Pev y , B chy Head whe re in the War we heard merch antship s — being torpedoed had pass ed the Roman ﬂeet t o t abandoning Bri ain to her do m . That ale may

se as -o b ut one ou see have rved a pipe pener, c ld not

its oo for its so t it . w d trees, I hrew away I carried the situation to the little house in t and e in Wil shire, where my Father Mother w re s e o t the t who tall d ; and smoked it ver wi h Fa her, — “ said not for the ﬁrst time : Most things in this ” world are accomplished by j udicious leaving alone . So we played cribbage (he had carved a perfect 1 79 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

tt Kim wo Lama and a li le for my t pegs) , while the

a n o Mother worked beside us, or, e ch taki g a b ok, lapsed into the silence of entire mutual compre hension. o of t at One night, apr pos no hing all , the “ ’ Father said : And you ll have to look up your ’ e t e o u n t ou ref rences ra h r m re caref lly, wo y That had not been my distinction on the little Civil and

Militar y .

o This led me on another false scent . I wr te a tale told by Daniel Defoe in a brickyard (we had a real one of our own at tha t time where we burned bricks for barns and cottages to the exact tints we desired) of how he had been sent to s tampede King

J e out T e mout out ames II, then hav ring ab ham s h, of an England where no party had any use for him . I t turned out a p ainstak en and meritorious piece of o t e w rk, overloaded wi h veriﬁed r ferences, with - about as much feeling to it as a walking stick . So it o e t t of o to J als was discard d, wi h a ale D c r ohn son telling the children how he had once thrown

u out of o t ot n z his sp rs a b a in Sc la d, to the ama e

n o e t o ou ment of o e B swell . Evid n ly my Daem n w ld not function in brickyards or schoolrooms . There

o o u f re, like Alice in W nderland, I t rned my back on the whole thing and walke d the other way .

d e T o o t set an t . heref re, the wh le hing linked i s lf I

o P arnes ius fell ﬁrs t upon No rmans and Sax ns .

e te t out tt oo cam la r, direc ly of a li le w d above the Phoenician forge ; and the res t o f the tales in Puck

1 80

SOMETHING OF MYSELF and asserted that there Roman troops used arrows the T against Picts . he ﬁrs t shot was based on ” honest research the second was legitimate infer

. t t to ence Years af er the ale was ld, a digging

t the e - par y on Wall s nt me some heavy four sided, “ ” Ro o ou in s itu and —man made, killin—g arr ws f nd most marvellously a rubbing of a memo rial tablet to the Seventh Cohort of the T hirtieth L egion ! Having been brought up in a suspicious “ oo u t - u but was sch l , I s spec ed a leg p ll here, as u t s red hat the rubbing was perfectly genuine . — I embarke d on Rewards and F a iries the second

—i e n . o es e o book two minds St ri a pl nty I had t t ll , but how many would be authentic and how many “ ” due to induction ? T here was mo reover the old “ : o ou ou t Law As so n as y ﬁnd y can do any hing, ’ ” do something you can t . My doubt cleared itself with the ﬁrst tale Cold “ on e u oo : t Ir , which gav me my nderw d Wha else — could I have done the plinth of all structures .

Y et e to be , since the tal s had be read by children, fore people realised that th ey were meant for - grown up s ; and since they had to be a sort of bal to l u t of ance , as well as a sea pon, some aspec s my “ ” t ou u t o the Imperialis ic tp t in the pas , I w rked

t or ou u ma erial in three f r overlaid tints and text res, which might or might not reveal themselves accord

to the s t of sex ou ing hif ing light , y th, and ex

182 TH E VERY—OWN HOUSE

I p erience . t was like wo rking lacquer and mother ’ 0 tu om t o to the s e pearl , a na ral c bina i n, in am

m el o r e an n not to let sche e as ni l and g isaill , d tryi g the o S o j ins h w . So I loaded the book up with allegories and

u e e n es n m old all sions, and veriﬁ d ref re c u til y Chief would have been almost pleas ed with me ; put in three or four really good sets of verses ; the bones of one entire historical novel for any to clothe who e e en S in r t o car d ; and v lipped a c yp ogram, wh se

e I t k ey I regret I must have utterly forgott n . was glorious fun ; and I knew it mus t be very good o r very b ad because the series turned itself off j ust as Kim had done . Among the verses in Rewards was one set called ” I f a rom the oo and for e , which esc ped f b k, a whil

h T e e a n fro ran about t e world . hey w r dr w m ’ J e o s a a ter o ta e oun e s of am s n ch r c , and c n in d c s l

e t on o t s to . n e t t the perf c i m s ea y give O c s ar ed, mechanisation of the age made them snowball

in t t ta t e me . oo themselves a way ha s r l d Sch ls, and a e e t e te too t e for the pl c s wh re h y ach, k h m — su ffering Young which did me no good with the “ ou Young when I met them late r . ( Why did y ’ write that stuff? I ve had to write it out twice as

T e e r as to n an impot . h y w re p inted cards ha g - up in oﬂi ces and bedrooms ; illuminate d text wise n T - f and anthologised to weari es s . wenty seven o 1 83 SOMETHING OF MYSELF the Nations Of the Earth translated them into their - - seven and twenty tongues, and printed them on every sort of fabric . Some years after the War a kind friend hinted that my two innocent little books might have helped “ ” towards begetting the Higher Cannibalism in biography. By which I understood him to mean

u o of o o t e the exh mati n scarcely c ld not rie ies, def nce

t out less females for choice, and ricking them with ”- sprightly inferences and sex deductions to suit the f he o t t . as mood marke It w an awful charge, and anyway I felt th at others had qualiﬁed as Chief

o o M rticians t that trade . For rest and refreshment and dearly-loved ex

eriments x u the m t s or s o p and an ieties, d ring six on h of t t e each year hat we stayed in England, h re was

the u the on o o always Ho se and land, and ccasi n oo of our u the Brook at the f t garden, which wo ld

A s sh u the for ﬂood devastatingly . e s pplied water our u as t e t rbine, and the lit le w ir which turned her - current into the little mill race was of a frail an ti uit one to t to t n o q y , had a tend her of e and at nce, o and always at the most inconvenient m ment . “ Undiscerning folks would ask : What do you ” ﬁnd to d o in the country ? Our answe r was

Everything except time to do it . — We began with tenants two or three small farmers on our very few acres -from whom we t u of u learned tha farming was a mixt re farce, fra d, 1 84

SOMETHING OF MYSELF nel Newcome ; in manner as diffident and retiring as an old maid out of Cranford; and up to his - eighty second year could fairly walk me off my

u o . feet, and p ll d wn pheasants from high heaven

He had begun life in the Black Watch, with whom, o one utside Delhi during the Mutiny, he heard “ morning as they were all shaving that a little ” - fellow called Roberts had captured single handed a rebel Standard and was coming th rough the Camp . “ u n e We all t r ed out . The boy was on hors back oo t m l king ra her pleased with hi self, and his mounted Orderly carried th e Colour behind him . ” We cheered him with the lather on our faces .

u o out in After the M tiny he s ld , and having

terests e t to o th . t in Natal w n awhile S u Africa Nex ,

ran o . he the bl ckade of the U . S Civil War, and wedded his Southern wife in Richmond with a ring “ hammered out of an English sovereign because ’ ” there wasn t any gold in Richmond j ust then . -ﬁv Mrs . Feilden at seventy e was in herself fair — explanation of all the steps he had taken and forfeited . ’ to one of - - a He came be Lee s aides de c mp, and o how o on t t o t ld me nce a s ormy nigh , when he r de

e t o off in with d spa ches, Lee had rdered him to take his dripping cloak and lie by the ﬁre ; and how when he waked from badly needed sleep , he saw the General on his knees before the ﬂame drying the “ ” t o u cloak . That was jus bef re the s rrender, said

1 86 THE VERY-OWN HOUSE

’ . e d he We had ﬁnished robbing the grave, and w

on o begun the cradle . For th se last three months was t tee t u I wi h ﬁf n ho sand boys under seventeen, ’ and I don t remember any one of them even smil ing. Bit by bit I came to understand that he was a t t e o o s o of raveller and an Arc ic xpl rer, in p sse si n - the snow white Polar ribbon ; a botanist and natu ralist ut t o e of rep a i n ; and hims lf above all .

e t e s t When Rid r Haggard heard h e hings, he ’ rested not till he had made the Colonel s acquaint t ance . They co toned to each other on sight and sound ; South Africa in the early days being their

o . e t us how s o b nd One ev ning, Haggard old his n

o on the of u u t n had been b rn edge Z l , I hi k, ter “ ” ritor the t te in t o Y s y , ﬁrs whi child h se parts e , s the o on u t out of his o ne aid C l el , q ie ly c r r . I and — —“ - he named two men rode twenty s even miles to ’ oo a We t for l k t him . hadn seen a white baby ” some time . Then Haggard remembered that visit o f Strangers . And once there came to us with her married daughter the widow of a Confederate Cavalry

o o f t e ou t leader ; b th _ hem wer what y migh call “ u ns u te e . o o the nreco tr c d reb ls S meh w, widow mentioned a road and a church beside a river in “ ’ ” I t s t t n ? s the Georgia . s ill here, the aid Colonel , ” m do ou ? giving it its na e . Why y ask was the “ ou - quick reply . Because, if y look in such and 1 87 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

u ew ou t ﬁnd s ch a p , y migh my initials . I cut them ’ the re the night s Cavalry stabled th eir horses

’

e u . F o t th re There was a pa se re God, hen, ” “ who ou ? sh e . ou are y gasped . He told her Y “ u ? knew my h sband I served under him . He was the only man in our corps who wo re a white ”

. u collar She pelted him with q estions, and the ” h ld e t e o . names of dead Come away, whisp red ’ u e m N or her da ght r to e . They don t want us

t for o ou did hey a l ng h r .

oon or o of u our S er later, all s rts men cast p at o n u i house . Fr m I dia nat rally ; from the Cape n - creasingly after the Boer War and our half yearly vis its there ; from Rhodesia when that province was

the o u t e for in making ; fr m A stralia, wi h sch mes emigra tion which one knew Organised Labour would never allow to pas s its legislatures ; from ” n e e to the Ca ada, wh n Imp rial Preference came

o e J t one f r , and ameson, af er bitter experience, “ ’ - cursed that dam dancing maste r (Laurie r) who ” had bitched the whole show ; and from Off main

and o —men of line Islands C lonies all makes, each - t his e t e e n . wi h lif ale, grievanc , id a, ideal , or war ing

e - o r o o f Th re was an ex G ve n r the Philippines, who had slaved his soul out for years to pull his — charge into some sort of shape and on a turn of — the political wheel at Washington had been dis mis sed at lite rally less notice than he would have ot dared to give a native orderly . I remembered n

1 88

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

t the fo h hat g wit her was even thicker . Said a ’ young engineer in the doorway : Who s you talk J ? ’ ing, ock Ask him if he s done drying his socks . And the old pro fessional jest crackled out through th e e smother . It was my ﬁrst experience of pra

s tical wirele s .

ue V At Q bec we met Sir William an Horne, head f o o . . . but on the wh le C P R system, , our wedding

Su erin trip ﬁfteen years before, a mere Divisional p ’ tendent who had lost a trunk of my wife s and stood his o on to ﬁnd . Divisi n its head it His deferred, but ample revenge was to give us one whole Pull

o ou o ete man car with c l red porter c mpl , to take and use and hitch on to and declutch from any train we

we for so o chose, to anywhere fancied, l ng as we

. too o e t V liked We k it, and did all th s hings to an

en to couver and back again . Wh we wished sleep off n o t t t- in peace, it slid i t s ill , secre freigh yards f o n . ou che s o till m rni g When we w ld eat, f the

o o great mail trains, which it had h n ured by its

m us ou . attach ent, asked what we w ld like (It was the season of blueberries and wild duck . ) If we

oo ou even l ked as th gh we wanted anything, that th ing would be waiting for us a few sco re miles up t u the line . In his manner and in s ch state we

o the progressed, and the pr cession and progress was meat and drink to the soul of William the coloured

o ur V t of p rter, o Nurse, ale , Seneschal , and Master

the Ceremonies . (More by token, wife understood 1 90 THE VERY—OWN HOUSE

o u e o d an t t u . c lo r d f lk, ha p t William all at ease ) Many people would come aboard to vis it us at halt - in e t to g plac s, and here were speeches of sorts be

e e e e the st prepar d and d liv r d at the towns . In ﬁr ’ ” : N ot de tation o om case her py , B ss, fr William - “ - behind enormous ﬂower pieces ; and more bo kays ” “ ’ for de Lady . In the second : Dere s a Speech ’ doo at Y ou go right ab aid with what you re ’ ’ ’ m o i co s n oss . Je u eet ou an p , B st p t your f s t I ll ’ m m ” e . So us shine eanwhile , br hed up and prop

o us e the u e e the erly sh d, I was her d into p blic y by o l imm rtal Wil iam .

o e s u n out o In s m way it was p nishi g all w rk, b ut o ee an in all ways w rth it . I had b n given

o e ee m rs t the McGill hon rary d gr , y ﬁ , by Univer

i T s t s ty at Montreal . hat Univer i y received me

t te s t and t I ere wi h in re , af er had deliv d a highly

m s ou s the tu e t u e t oral di c r e, s d n s d mp d me in o a

o s - t urt t ou fragile h r e vehicle, which hey h led hr gh

h e s one tt the oo t e stre t . Said nice child si ing in h d “ ’ ’ da l e n of it : Y ou gave us a m du l spe ch . Ca t ’ ” y ou say anything amusin now? I could b ut ex

s e for the t of the on pres my f ars safe y c veyance, t n which was dis in egrating by instalme ts .

’ In 1 5 I met some of those boys digging trenches

in France . No words of mine can give any notion of the kindness and good-will lavished on us through

t of our . every s ep road I tried , and failed to do 19 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF s o t o o e in a writ en acc unt of it . L etters t th (— F a mil . ) the y And always the —marvel to which Canadians seemed insensible was that on one side of n ou Law H on an imagi ary line sh ld be Safety, , our and on ot ut , and Obedience, the her frank, br al decivilisation t e t t s ou and hat, d spi e hi , Canada sh ld be impressed by any aspect whatever of the United

o States . S me hint of this too I strove to give in my

Letters .

o e o s Bef re we part d, William t ld u a tale of a friend of his who was consume d with desire to be “ ’ a Pullman porte r b ek as e he had watched me doin ’ ’ t ou t ou it— es watchin it, an h gh he c ld do j t by ”

. T was u e of his e me ( his the b rd n parable, lik

- m r t to o o ot e . o e a deep ned l c ive b ll ) Overb n at las , William wangled for his friend the coveted pos t “ next car ahaid to mine I got my folks to baid ’ ’ d ’ early kase I guessed he d be nee in me s oon . i o But he thought he could do it . And den all h s f lk

his de t to o to at de in car, y all wan ed g baid same ’ — do — a time like dey allus . An he tried G wd — ’ ’ knows he tried to commodate em all de s ame ’ ’ ’ ’

H e es ou . time an he couldn t . j c ldn t He ’ t ou t b ek ase didn t know h aow. He h gh he did he ” “ ’ ’ ”

A n den u u . had, etc . , etc . he q it he jes q it

A long pause . “ ? ” Jumped out of window we demanded . ’

0. . De t no u to N Oh, no y wasn j mp him dat ’ e to oo - os — night . He w nt in de br m cl et kase I 1 92

SOMETHING OF MYSELF that Court hush which is like no other silence on - t . e r lit ear h Th n, in a g eat room, the weary eyed , - o new Kin o over w rked, g, saying to each the w rds o t . t appr pria e to the occasion Nex , the Queen, in

ou a u o ou marvell s M ry Q een of Sc ts m rning, a few

o the t t - ou w rds, and re urn pilo ed by soft footed C rt ofﬁcials through a stillness so deep that one he ard the o click of the dec rations on their uniforms . They s aid that the last words of the old King had “ ’ : o l t been D n t e them shut the theatres for me . So Stockholm that night went soberly about her

e u um o pl as res, all d bed d wn under the snow . ’ Morning did not come till ten o clock ; and one

t t n the u lay abed in hick dark, lis e ing to bl nted grind of the trams speeding the people to their ’ o - Bu e w rk day s work . t the ordering of th ir lives was e t ou t out reasonabl , h gh , and most comfortable for the tt o ou the all classes in ma ers of f od, h sing,

but e b e lesser more d sira l decencies, and the con

t o t sidera i n given to he Arts . I had only known - the Swede as a ﬁ rst class immigrant in various parts

t Loo a t o of he earth . king t his na ive land I c uld guess whence he drew his strength and directness . n S ow and frost are no bad nurses . At that epoch staid women attached to the public

- ou u of wash h ses washed in a glorio s lather soap, - worked up with big bunches of ﬁnest pine shavings ou n it o (when y thi k of , a sponge is alm st as dirty - a tool as the pe rmanent tooth brush of the Euro 1 94 THE VERY-OWN HOUSE

o pean) , men desir us of the most luxurious bath B al known to civilisation . ut foreigners did not ways catch the idea . Hence this tale told to me

th e of at a winter resort in deep, creamy contralto

who o the North by a Swedish lady to k, and pro nounced n e , her E glish rath r biblically. The introit you can imagine for yourself. Here is the ﬁnale “ — - — And then she the old woman com cd —came But was r . in to wash that man . he angered ang y — - He wented he went dee ep into th e water and he ‘ ’ ‘ -cd— —Go a-wa ! she say said y And sayed, But ’ d com s ou e . o I to wa h y , sar And she made to B - u -ou fa- that . ut he tur ned over p his ace, and - ‘ wa ved his legs in the airs and he sayed : Go a - ’ dam way away ! So she went to the Direktor and ‘ - - e she say ed : Comm he ere . Ther are a mads in my ’

not let a s . bath, which will me w h of him But the - “ c d to : . Direktor say her Oh, that are not a mads —he That are an Englishman . He will himself will ’ wash himself.

195 WORKI N G—T OOLS

V E RY u ow wn E man m st be his n law in his o work, - but it is a poor spirited artist in any craft who ’ does not know how the o ther man s work should

o or o be d ne c uld be improved . I have heard as much criticism among hedgers and ditchers and ’ of of woodmen a companion s handling spade, bill

o axe ou u . t h ok, or , as w ld ﬁll a S nday paper Car ers

t - are t u u and ca tle men even more me ic lo s, since they must deal with temperame nts and seasonal

on the instabilities . We had ce on farms a pair of u brothers between ten and twelve . The yo nger could deal so cunningly with an intractable cart

e who for mar rushed her gates, and choice diago

was a to t of nally, that he c lled in ake charge her as

ou . u a matter of c rse The elder, at eleven, co ld do t t t t o all ha his s reng h all wed, and the much more

n t t e too that a cestral craf had added, wi h any edg d l

o e o u e or w od . Mod rn pr gress has t rned th m into meritorious menials . - One of my cattle men had a son who at eight could appraise the merits and character of any ’ t was on r ter beas in his father s care, and te ms of rif in the - u o y g familiarity with herd b ll, wh m he would slap on the nos e to make him walk dis 196

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

the of al Mercifully, mere act writing was, and ways has been, a physical pleasure to me . This made it easier to th row away anything th at did out : to not turn well and practise, as it were, scales . V erse, naturally, came ﬁrst, and here the Mother now was at hand, with and then some shrivelling m u . But she : com ent that inf riated me , as said “ ’ ” o There s no Mother in P etry, my dear . It was who o she, indeed, had c llected and privately printed u verses written at school p to my sixteenth year, which I faithfully sent out from the little House of the Dear Ladies . Later, when the notoriety came, “ ” in h o of they broke, t se people importance, and “ on the innocent thing came to th e market, and to Philadelphia lawyers, a breed by itself, wanted know, because they had paid much money for an

old . copy, what I remembered about its genesis ff They had been ﬁrst written in a sti , marbled the of backed MS . book, front page which the Father had inset with a scandalous sepia-Sketch of Tennyson and Browning in procession, and a n spectacled schoolboy bri ging up the rear . I gave o it, when I left school , to a w man who returned it — to me many years later for which she will take an even higher place in Heave n than her natural

o — u t g odness ensures and I b rn it, lest it should fall into the hands of lesser breeds without the (Copy ” right) law . I forget who started the no tion of my writing a 1 98 WORKING—TOOLS

n o- our series of A gl Indian tales, but I remember

ou the of th e c ncil over naming e series . They wer o u on t riginally m ch l ger han when they appeared, but the t of t t o shor ening hem, ﬁrs t my own fancy t u ou re- t t th af er rapt r s readings, and nex o e space u t t available, ta gh me hat a tale from which pieces have been raked out is like a ﬁre that has been

no o t poked . One does t kn w that the Opera ion has b ff ut one the t . been performed, every feels e ec

t t ou t the e e tuff mu t a ee No e, h gh, hat xcis d s s h ve b n

o tte for u . oun h nestly wri n incl sion I f d that when, “ to u o e S t a b initio mu t save tro ble, I wr t hor ch sal u o f went out of the work . This s pports the the ry o

he o te e t chimaera which, having b mbina d and b en

e o is of u o u r m ved, capable prod cing sec ndary ca ses

in vacuo .

e of This leads me to the Higher Editing . Tak well-ground Indian Ink as much as suffi ce s and a camel-hair brush proportionate to the interspaces of

ne u ou ou e ou n your li s . In an a spici s h r, r ad y r ﬁ al

o t u e s en draft and c nsider fai hf lly ev ry paragraph,

t Let n out e u . tence and word , blacki g wh re req isi e h d it lie by to drain as long as possible . A t t e en

re- e and ou s ou t it of that time, r ad y h ld ﬁnd hat

on s o n . a it ou will bear a sec d h rte ing Fin lly, read al d

e o e u alone and at leisu re . Mayb a shade m r br sh

n or o s . not work will then i dicate imp se it elf If , “ it o and ou t praise Allah and let g , when th has ”

. done, repent not The shorter the tale, the 199 SOMETHING OF MYSELF o e the the l ng r brushwork and, normally, shorter

-b vice ver the lie y , and sa . The longer the tale, the u -b less br sh but the longer lie y . I have had tales by me for three or ﬁve years which shortened t hemselves almost yearly . The magic lies in the

u I nk . For th it Br sh and the e Pen, when is writing, can only scratch ; and bottled ink is not to compare

o n S E x erto crede . with the gr und Chi ese tick . p Let us now consider the Personal Daemon of

o and o of o u Arist tle thers, wh m it has been tr th

u tt ou u : f lly wri en, th gh not p blished — T his is the doom o f the Makers their Daemon lives in

eir e th p n .

he be a en t r lee n t e are e en as ot er m en . I f bs o s pi g, h y v h But if he be utter resent and t e s er e not from his ly p , h y w v e e b h st,

T he ord t at he es s a l ont nue et er in earnest w h giv h l c i , wh h r e o j st.

u Most men, and some most nlikely, keep him under an alias which varies with their literary or t t scien iﬁc a tainments . Mine came to me early

e sat e o o ot o wh n I bewilder d am ng ther n i ns, and ” : no ot . o e said Take this and her I b yed, and I t t tt t was rewarded . was a ale in the li le Chris mas

z t t maga ine Quartette which we four wrote oge her, “ ’ ” o and it was called The Phant m Rickshaw .

u was and out of Some of it was weak, m ch bad key ; b ut it was my ﬁrst serious attempt to think ’ S in another man s kin .

200

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

know that he did not, because when those books

e e n so w r ﬁ ished they said themselves with, almost, the - ff water hammer click of a tap turned o . One of the clauses in our contract was that I should “ ” o u never foll w p a success, for by this sin fell

o o o Nap le n and a few others . N te here . When

on do not t your Daem is in charge, try to hink

s . t o e . consciou ly Drif , wait, and b y I am afraid that I was not much impressed

B m o by reviews . ut y early days in L ndon were A s o unfortunate . I g t to know literary circles and

t out u was u the s n e their cri ical p t, I str ck by le d r ’ o ness of s me of the write rs e quipment . I could not see how they got along with so casual a knowl

oi of u edge French work and, apparently, m ch English grounding that I had suppos ed indispen

T ff ee to -to- sable . heir stu s med be a day day

fﬁ e t e s tra c in g nerali i , hedged by trade considera

was b u n t . t ions Here I expect I wrong, , maki g my own tests (the man who had asked me out to dinner to discover what I had read gave me the

t n o a sk s uo no io ) , I w uld simple questions, mi q te or misattribute my quotations ; or (once or twice )

e u t invent an author . The r s l did not increase my reverence . Had they been newspaper men

ou un too b ut the en in a hurry, I sh ld have ders d ; g

t s tlemen were pre sen ed to me as Priests and Pontiff . And the generality of them seemed to ha ve fol — — lowed other trade s in banks or ofﬁ ces before

202 WORKING-TOOLS

o to as c ming the Ink ; whereas I was free born. It w u s but it o p re nobism on my part, served t keep me

is o o inside myself, which what sn bbery is f r. - I would not to day recommend any writer to

Lo o concern himself overly with reviews . nd n is

the o es has s ndi a parish, and Pr vincial Pr s been y cated t e o out of , s andardised, and smarm d d wn B n t individuality . ut there remai s still a lit le fun t a in that fair . In Manches er w s a paper called

T e M a nc es ter ard a u the u h h Gu i n. O tside m le lines I had neve r met anything that could kick or

u so o t u o t o sq eal c n inuo sly, or so c mple ely r und the entire compass of things . It suspected me from the “ ” t t t ﬁrs , and when my Imperialis ic iniqui ies were e t s t the new s abli hed af er Boer War, it used each book of mine for a shrill recount of my previous t C u to do sins (exac ly as sed ) and, I think,

e o t enjoyed itself . In r turn I c llected and ﬁled i s - more acid b ut uncommonly well written leaders

for own u o s . my p rp se After many years, I wrote “ ” a tale ( The Wish House ) about a woman of “ ” what was called tempe rament who loved a man and who also suffered from a cance r on her leg the exact situation carefully speciﬁed . The re view came to me with a gibe on the margin from “ a faithful friend : You threw up a catch tha t ” time i The review said that I had revived Chau

’ “ cer s Wife of Bath even to the mo rmal on her ” it o u t t too ! shinne . And lo ked j s like hat There 203 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

no o so not was p ssible answer, , breaking my rule to

t t to The have commerce wi h any paper, I wro e “ M a nches ter Guardzan and gave myself out ” u ca ght to leg . The reply came from an evident human being (I had thought red-hot linotypes composed their staff) who was pleased with the t u o of rib te to his kn wledge Chaucer .

P e r contra , I have had miraculous escapes in

te L t s . u chnical ma ters, which make me blu h still ck ily the men of the seas and the engine-room do not t t t wri e to the Press, and my wors slip is s ill u nderided . T he nearest shave that ever missed me was averted by my Daemon . I was at the moment u in Canada, where a yo ng Englishman gave me, a s e on o of o - a p rs al experience, a st ry a b dy snatch

o o r t ing epis de in deep sn w, pe pe rated in some - lonely prairie to wn and culminating in purest hor

T o et out of o t ror. g it the system I wr te it de ail edl it too y , and came away just a shade good ; - too too . s e not well balanced ; slick I put it a id , t t e une s u it b ut hat I was ac iv ly a y abo t , I wanted

u e . o a to make s r M nths passed, and I started tooth which I took to the dentist in the little Amer “ ” ican town near Naulakha . I had to wait a while

his ou ou of u in parl r, where I f nd a ﬁle bo nd ’ — H arper s M agaz ines say s ix hun dred pages to ’ — o th ﬁf i s the volume dating fr m e t e . I picked u one t o t p , and read as undis ractedly as the t o h per 204

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

ribaldry along the ﬂank of a crack battalion . “ — ” ( But Winnie is one of the lost poor dear ! was that song, if any remember it or its Singer in 1 900

In an interval , while we lay on the grass, I told Gwynne what was in my head ; and some fﬁ o cers also listened . The ﬁnale was to be manoeu - vres abandoned and a hurried calling—off of all arms by badly frightened Commandants the men themselves sweating with terror th ough they knew not why.

Gwynne played with the notion, and added de tails of Boer ﬁghting that I did not know ; and n u f I remember a you g D ke o Northumberland,

who wa s so since dead, interested . The notion obsessed me that I wrote out the beginning at once . But in cold blood it seemed more and more fantastic and absurd , unnecessary and hysterical .

i oo Yet, three or four t mes I t k it up and, as many, laid it down . After the War I threw the draft away. It would have done no good, and might o un roﬁt have opened the d or, and my mail, to p of able discussion . For there is a type mind that “ ” dives after what it calls psychical experiences . “ And I am in no way psychic . Dealing as I have

e of done with large, superﬁcial ar as incident and

u to e few occasion, one is bo nd mak a lucky hits

B e to or happy deduction s . ut th re is no need “ ” o n or the of drag in the clairv ya ce, rest the mod

e e too and sor ern jargon . I hav s en much evil

206 WORKING—TOOLS

row and wreck of good minds on the road to Endor

to take one step al ong that perilous track . Once “ only was I sure that I had passed beyond the

oun e . t to b ds of ordinanc I dreamt hat I s od, in

t t do no u my bes clo hes, which I t wear as a r le,

on s t om e in a line of imilarly habi ed men, in s e - o ou t . vast hall, ﬂ ored with r gh join ed stone slabs

t the the t Opposi e me, width of hall, was ano her line of persons and the impression of a crowd

t o e o behind them . On my lef s m cerem ny was

e t t to see but ou not taking plac hat I wan ed , c ld unles s I stepped out of my line because the fat stomach of my neighbour on my left barred my ’ f s on . A t h e e ot o vi i t e c r mony s close, b h lines spectators broke up and moved forward and met, T and the great space ﬁlled with people . hen a man u n me e his t came p behi d , slipp d hand benea h ”

and s : t t ou . my arm, aid I wan a word wi h y I forget the res t : but it had been a perfectly clear

u in o . dream, and it st ck my mem ry Six weeks or t n e t more later, I at e d d in my capaci y of a Mem ber of the War Graves Commission a ceremony at

e t e the of W stmins er Abbey, wh re Prince Wales “ ” dedicated a plaque to The Million Dead of the mm e . o o e u Gr at War We C issi n rs lined p facing,

os the acr s the width of Abbey Nave, more mem bers of the Ministry and a big body of the public

e t in o . b hind hem, all black cl thes I could see noth ing of the ceremony because the stomach of the 207 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

on man my left barred my vision . Then, my eye

u the of th o o was ca ght by cracks e st ne ﬂo ring, and “ ” I said to mys elf : But here is where I have been ! o t We br ke up, bo h lines ﬂowed forward and met,

the ou and Nave ﬁlled with a crowd, thr gh which a man came up and slipped his hand upon my arm “ ”

: n t ou . I t saying I wa t a word wi h y , please was about some utterly trivial matter that I have o f rgotten .

But how o um , and why, had I been sh wn an - released roll of my life ﬁlm ? For the sake o f the “ ”— — weaker brethren and sisters I made no use of the experience . ’ t to o In respec verifying ne s references, which ’ t one e o is a mat er in which can help one s Da m n, it is curious how lo ath a man is to take his own

. on t medicine Once, a Boxing Day, wi h hard

os o out of fr t c ming greasily the ground, my

e J - of fri nd, Sir ohn Bland Sutton, the head the “ o e of u o e o m 8 C ll ge S rge ns, cam d wn to Bate an very full of a lecture which he was to deliver on “ ” z z o gi ards . We were settled bef re the ﬁre after

u o u e e So- -so l nch, when he v l nte r d that and had

t ou hen o said hat if y hold a to your ear, y u can hear the click in its giz z ard of the little pebbles that “ ” “ ’

its . t help digestion In eresting, said I . He s ” “ ”— o . but a u an auth rity Oh yes, long pa se “ ” e ou K ? hav y any hens about here, ipling I o t two u wned hat I had , h ndred yards down a lane,

208

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

e - wise, n ver play down to your public not because s o o f do not it b it is me them deserve , ut because for ou bad y r hand . All your material is drawn

o he o t f . fr m lives men Remember, then, what David did with the water brought to him in the f heat o battle .

An d it in o s t , if be y ur power, bear erenely wi h imitators . My Jungle Book: begat Zoos of them . But the genius of all the genii was one who wrote

e s Ta rz a n o the A es . it but a s rie called f p I read , t saw the it regre I never it on ﬁlms, where rages “ ” o s z z e h ot m st succe sfully . He had j a d t e m if of the Jun le Boo/es t g and , I imagine, had hor u o H e e t o e o ghly enj yed himself . was r por ed t hav said that he wanted to ﬁnd out how bad a book “ ” ou t and et he c ld wri e g away with, which is a legitimate ambition . Another case was verses of the s ort that are

t u t - the o reci ed . An Edinb rgh axi driver in War t ld me that they we re much in vogue am ong the shel

o u e to e t u . ters and was h no r d me t me, heir a thor

ou t t t e Afterwards, I f nd ha hey were running n ck “ ” - and-neck with Gunga Din in the military go as ou- e e and on the o e al y pl as s L wer D ck, and were ways ascribed to my graceful hand . They were “ d ” called The Green Eye of the Littl e Yellow Go . They described an English Colonel and his d augh ter at Khatmandhu in Nepal where there was a “ military Mess ; and her lo ver of the name of mad

2 10 WORKING—TOOLS

Carew which rhymed comfortably. The refrain “ was more or less And the green-eyed yellow Idol ”

. o looking down It was lusci us and rampant, with

t u t of th su u - u a o ch, I though , e b rban Toilet Cl b

the t school favoured by la e Mr . Oscar Wilde . Yet,

was the of for and this to me Devil it, it carried one reader an awesome suggestion of but for the ” of e Grace God ther goes Richard Baxter . (Refer ’ again to the hairdres ser s model which so moved

e o Mr . Dent Pitman . ) Wh ther the author had d ne it out or of his own head, as an inspired parody of

e - n do the possibilities latent in a f llow craftsma , I

e him. not know . But I admir d

Occasionally one could tes t a plagiarist . I had to i t n for man nvent a tree, wi h ame to match, a

who at that time was rather riding in my pocket . — In about eighteen months the time it takes for a “ ” t s t o the e e diamond, thrown ver wires into a ﬁ ld “ ” of u u u on K o bl e rock, to t rn p the imberley s rt - — “ ing t ables my tree appeare d in his nature ”— stu dies name as spelt by me and virtues at our tributed . Since in trade we be all felons,

o or nt him m re less, I repe ed when I had caught , b ut not too much . And I would charge y ou for the sake of your

eve to daily correspondence, n r launch a glittering

o e e e generality, which an ld r g n ration used to call “ ” “ o t was Tupperism . L ng ago I s ated that East East and West was West and never the twain

21 1 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

o . m sh uld meet It see ed right, for I had checked th e it by card, but I was careful to point out cir cumstances under which cardinal points ceased to

. F on exist orty years rolled , and for a fair half o f them the excellent and uplifted of all lands

of o f would write me, apropos each new piece - or e o broad minded folly in India, Egypt, C yl n, had — that East and West met as, in their muddled minds, I suppose they had . Being a political

o a Calvinist, I could n t rgue with these condemned ones . But their letters had to be Opened and ﬁl ed .

t on Again. I wro e a s g called Mandalay

to u t one which, tacked a t ne wi h a swing, made of z t the walt es of that di s tant age . A priva e o u s ldier reviews his loves and, in the chor s, his experiences in the Burma campaign . One of his

u e on o ladies lives at Mo lm in, which is not the r ad to e amour o anywhere, and he d scribes the with s me i m nuteness, but always in his chorus deals with “ ” the to to ro road Mandalay, his golden path

ta s of n to mance . The inhabi nt the U ited States, “ ” o ot P anamaed t wh m I owed most of the b her, hat

o o se s ng (this was before c pyright) , t it to their

own own . tunes, and sang it in their national voices

N ot t e oo u content with this, h y t k to pleasure cr is in th t ou com g, and discovered a M lmein did not mand any view of any sun rising across the Bay of

e too B ngal . They must have interfered with the

2 1 2

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

In a very little while it was put about that I had “ ” said that a year of compulsory service would be “ ffo t — e r less, ordered, etc . etc . with the rider that ’ di u I dn t know much abo t it. This perversion was p erversiﬁed by a man who ought to have known better ; and I suppose I should have known that it “ ” ff o was part of the e ortless, rdered drift towards “ a k Armageddon . You s : Why inﬂict on us legends of your Middle Ages Because in life as in liter

tu n o Men a re, its sole enduri g rec rd, is no age . and

n r o . Things come round agai , ete nal as the seas ns t ou But, attacking or at acked, so long as y have

on t o . ou breath, no provoca i n explain What y have said may be justified by things or some man but “ ” n ever take a hand in a dog-fight that Opens : My ” tt o to . a enti n has been drawn , etc t unch I came near to breaking his Law with P , an institution I always respected for its continu it its En lishdom y and utter g , and from whose files

I drew my modem wo rking history. I had writ ten during the Boer War a s et of verses based on unofli cial criticisms of many serious junior offi cers . ( Incidentally they contained one j ewel of a line that opened And which it may subsequently tran ”— spire a galaxy of words I had long panted to place in the literary fi rmament . ) Nobody loved th b ut em, and indeed they were not conciliatory ;

Punch took them rather hard . This was a pity 2 14 WORKING-TOOLS because Punch would have been useful at that

un tu e . k no of its ff j c r I new ne sta , but I asked questions and learned that P unch on this particular — - “ ” issue was non Aryan and German at that . It “ is true that the Children of Israel are people Of ” o the on u of the K the B ok, and in sec d S rah oran “ Allah is made to say : High above mankind have ” is I s ou . Y et t the t u it rai ed y , la er, in ﬁf h S rah, “ tt : Oft t e o -ﬁ re for wa r wri en as hey kindl a beac n ,

e to t shall God quench it . And th ir aim will be abe disorder on the earth : b ut God loveth no t the abet ”

o s of . o o t s e t r disorder M re imp r ant till , my b arer in Lahore never announced our good little Jew Tyler but he spat loudly and openly in the veran

o e tt at on . e dah . I swall w d my spi le ce Isra l is a

I t a et o e . race to leave alone . b s dis rd r

a te u the T he Times Many ye rs la r, d ring War, , with which I ha d had no dealings for a doz en years ” o r so was n e t t u o t to , la d d wi h wha p rp r ed be “ ”

o rs me e e The Vo u . s me ve es by , h ad d Old l nteer They had been s ent in by a Sunday mail with some sort of faked pos tmark and without any covering

t e t u e - t letter . They were s amp d wi h a r bb r s amp

o the fﬁ e t e t n on fr m village o c , h y were wri te an

o u e t m e o m abs l t ly straigh argin, which is b y nd y - o e and in un u o ﬁ st . p w rs, an E r pean (I had never - since typewriters began sent out pres s work um

o o t o less it was typed . Fr m my p in f view the 215 SOMETHING OF MYSELF contribution should not have deceived a messenger

. t o um boy Nin hly and lastly, they were wh lly intelligible .

u u T e T mer H man nat re being what it is, h i was u m ch more annoyed with me than anyone else, t ou e —t e m e h gh goodn ss knows his, r me b r, was in ’ — 1 I not o t out it t 7 did w rry hem ab , beyond hin t th u - ing tha e sual week end English s lackness,

no one e when is in charg , had made the mess . They took the matter up with the pomp of the Public

n tut t and m te I sti ion which hey were, sub it d the

. to o t t it u t MS experts, who pr ved ha m s be the “ ” work of a man who had all b ut spoofed The

Times about s ome fragm ents Of Keats . He hap

to b e old e of o pened an fri nd mine, and when I t ld “ ” of his t e him magniﬁed charac eristic lett rs, and — the e S e his b traying lop s at which they lay , as I ’ ’ ’ ” o t out e C s U s p in ed , v ry and and T s, he was

o o wrath and, being a p et, swore a g od deal that if he could not have done a better parody of my ” s tuff with his left hand he would retire from f u . T e for on the o b siness his I beli ved, , heels my

o e t too m d s disclaimer which appeared , none con s icuousl The Times e p y , in , I had had a l tter in a “ ” chaﬁing vein about The Old Volunteer from a non-Aryan who never much appreciated me ; and

n Of it u t the u of the ha dwriting , co pled wi h s btlety - choosing a week end (as the H un had chosen

’ u o of 1 lus A gust Bank H liday 4) for the work, p

2 16

SOMETHING OF MYSELF cholo of The Timer-in-a- gy hole, which is where no one shows to advantage ; and of how Moberly o o O Bell, wh se b ws I had crossed in the ld days, u wo ld have tackled the matter ; what Buckle,

o his wh m I loved for sincerity and gentlehood, would have thought of it all Thus I fo rgot to “ e e u t d f nd my inj red honour . The hing had

s ou o pas ed t f reason into the Higher Hysterics . What could I do but offer It some more sherry and thank I t for a pleasant inte rview ? I have told this at length because Institutions of idealistic tendencies sometime s wait till a man is

n u . u dead, and the f rnish their own evidence Sho ld

n t the e t this happe , try to believe tha in de pes t rough of the War I did not step aside to play with

T he Times t n u u Lo E . C. , Prin i g Ho se Sq are, ndon, - - In the come and go of family talk there was Often discussion as to whether I could write a real

o t ou t s t of n vel . The Fa her th ght tha the et ing

o ou my w rk and life w ld be against it, and Time

s t j u iﬁed him .

N ow here is a curious thing . A t the Paris

t o of 18 8 e o o Exhibi i n 7 I saw, and nev r f rg t, a

u of of o u s pict re the death Man n Lesca t, and a ked

e z my Father many questions . I r ad that ama ing “ ” one o é e o t te n b ok of the Abb Pr v s , in al r ate slabs ’ t Scarron s Roman Comi ue was out wi h q , when I ab

t ou u . t or eigh een, and it br ght up the pict re My he y is that a germ lay do rmant till my change of life

218 WORKING—TOOLS to o o o L ndon (th ugh that is not Paris) w ke it up, and that The Light that F ailed was a sort Of in

e t o o s on vert d, me agr b li ed phantasmagoria based

o was the Ma n n . I conﬁrmed in my belief when

o to t conte French to k hat with relish, and I always fancied that it walked better in translation than in

B o conte—not u the original . ut it was nly a a b ilt book . Kim of u u , co rse, was nakedly picaresq e and plot — less a thing imposed from without . Yet I dreamed for many years of building a - - veritable three decker out of chosen and long stored t — n- and ten- -old oak imbe—r teak, gree heart, year knees each curve melting deliciously into the next that the s ea might nowhere meet resistance or

a s es ot o ev we kn ess ; the whole ugg ting m i n en when, her t for the o u e grea sails — m ment f rl d, she lay in some needed haven a vessel ballasted on ingots of u e and knowlede e oo p r research g , r my, ﬁtted

t i e - o e o - t wi h delicate cab n t w rk b l w decks, pain ed,

t t the e t of o carved, gil and wrea hed l ng h her, fr m her blaz ing stern-galleries outlined by bronz y

- un to t ﬁ ure- —an palm tr ks, her rampan g head East Indiaman worthy to lie alongs ide The Cl oister a nd

the H earth.

to Not being able do this, I dismissed the ambi “ ” o tion as beneath the thinking mind . So d es a - o o half blind man dismiss sh oting and g lf. N or did I live to s ee the day when the new 219 SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- three deckers should hoist themselves over the hori z on u to own o - o d , q ivering their p wer, over l a ed

-o u with bars, ball r oms, and insistent chromi m ’ plumbing ; hellishly noisy from the sports deck ’ to the barber s shop ; but serving their generation O as the ld craft served theirs . The young men were O t o already laying down the lines f hem, f ndly believing that the old laws Of design and const rue

o for t o ti n were hem abr gated . And with what tools did I work in my own ou -o ? not to m ld l ft I had always been choice,

sa o u t . o for y c q et ish, in this respect In Lah re my

la in Taler o t o - e t P I used a slim, c ag nal sid d, aga e

e o t . I t t p nh lder wi h a Waverley nib was a gif , and when in an evil hour it snapped I was much

o o o disturbed . Then f llowed a pr cessi n of imper o t s nal hirelings each wi h a Waverley, and next a t u - silver penholder wi h a q ill like curve, which b o V promised well ut did n t perform . In illiers

t ot u s fﬁ t - ot S reet I g me an o t ide o ce pew er ink p , on which I would gouge the names of the tales B and books I wrote out of it . ut the housemaids of married life polished those titles away till they grew as faded as a palimpsest . — I then abandoned hand-dipped Waverleys a — nib I never changed and for years wallowed in - “ “ the pin pointed s tylo and its successo r the foun ” - t tain which for me meant geyser pens . In la er

e o y ars I clung to a slim, sm oth, black treasure

220

SOMETHING OF MYSELF

- - tials from emery paper to small screw drivers ; a - H ’ paper weight, said to have been Warren astings ;

fur- t a tiny, weighted seal and a lea her crocodile sat - on some of the papers ; an inky foot rule and a

F of P enwi ers u - u ather p , which a m ch loved ho se of u maid ours presented yearly, made p the main guard of these little fetishes .

t of oo s My treatmen b k , which I looked upon as

of was o u tools my trade, p p larly regarded as bar

o u barian . Yet I ec nomised on my multit dinous - - no to ﬁn er. pen knives, and it did harm my fore g

s t There were books which I re pec ed, because they

s s . T he ot hOuse were put in locked ca e hers, all the over, took their chances . w Left and right of the table were t o big globes, on one of which a great airman had once outlined - in white paint tho se air routes to the East and

Australia which were well in use before my death .

222 X X X VI V OL U ME' S

INDEX

A nd e s a be as—G 222 y h ll ods ! VI . A nd ou ma ea 8 y y l d a thous and men IX . 7 A n ustivaun a na 1 2 g T i VIII . 3 ns er Th A w , e 240 ro r ate ers es on an E e an L App p i V l g t ands cape . XVII . 77 “ Argument of a Proj ected Poem to be called The Seven ts of reat n 1 Nigh C io . XVII . 7 r t met on Fr 21 A i h ic the onti er XVII . 7 rm Hea uarter 1 2 A y dq s XVII . 9 rm f r m T 2 1 o a ea he . A y D , XXII 7 rrest of L eutenant G t 1 1 0 A i oligh ly, The . 5 A s am la a-d r m a 1 80 Ad y ea ing bene th the Appl e Tree XXIV . ’ ’ A s anybody s een Bill A wk ins 332 A s Eas as y A . B . C . XXVI . 3 A s I came through the Des ert thus it was 304 A s eft the Ha s of Lum e rose the s on of a I l ll l y, vi i ome 2 8 c ly XVII . 3 A s I pass through my incarnations in every ag e and ra ce . . XXXIV . 434 ’ A s I was s pitting into the Ditch aboard o the Croco e 1 dil . XI . 3 3 A s our mot er th Fr e n 1 e ate a te and ﬁne . . 0 h , ig , b p i d XXI A s the e n s 2 8 B ll cli k XVII . 3 A s the a n was rea n th S am ur 2 d w b ki g e bh belled VII . 3 A a er u e n n ne k 2 s w tch s co ch d be eath a Ba ti oa . XXXI . 4 9 ’

s tro o er s S on A n . 28 1 A l g g, XXV . A t a n er a murmur in h r 2 1 d w th e w s a t e t ees XVII . 9 A t H is E e ut on 268 x c i XXXIII . 6 A t Howli Thana . IV . 7 R nn m a Runn m 1 A t u e e t e e . y d , y d XXVII 49 f n da 10 A t the close o a wi ter y XI . 5 nt our h ame A t the eleve h h e c XXXI . 57 A t th e E nd of the Pas s age 328 A t the hole where he went in Red-ey e called to Wrinkle S 1 kin VII . ’ 1 A t the P it s Mouth . . VI . 33 ’ he a foot s mear of il -ﬂecke re 1 0 A t t w ll s a y d d XVII . 3 ’ n r er av 1 A t times when u de cov I e s aid XXI . 73 - 210 A t Twenty Two IV . ’ i h morn n if o n r n A t two o clock n t e i g, y ou pe you wi dow 1 2 and listen XXVII . 5 226 INDEX

Atalanta in Calydon XXXVI .

Athenaeum Club XXXVI .

Auckland XXXVI . ’ Aunt Judy s Magazine XXXVI .

Aunt Ellen XXXIII .

Australia XXXVI .

u ar es Th e . A xili i , XXXIV

A ve Imperatrix XVII . ’ ’ ’ A ve you eard o the Widow at Winds or ? XI .

Away by the lands of the Japanes e XI . ’ A la him neat the S m a ne . y , y h i l pi XVII ’ A z rael s Count XXXIII .

B B 2 aa aa, Black Sheep 3 3

a e was a in the Man er The . B b l id g , XXVII 43 ’ a e or e ts for one The . 1 8 B ch l ﬁgh , XXI 7 0 Back to the Army Again XI . 3 7

a n Stan e . . 1 1 1 B ldwi , l y XXXVI 9 , 3 1 —1 6 1 0 Bales tier Fam . 0 0 ily XXXVI 5 , 7

a four Eusta e . B l , c XXXVI

a a of Bob Da one The . 1 B ll d Th , XI 9

a a of ur a . 1 8 B ll d B i l, A XVII 5

a a of Eas t and est The . 1 B ll d W , XI 9 ’ a a of F s er s oar n Hous e The . 20 B ll d i h B di g , XVII 7

a a of Mine it S a The . B ll d p h w, XXV 345 “ ” 1 1 6 a a of the o ar The . . B ll d B liv , XI “ m rdown Th 1 1 2 a a of the Cla he e . B ll d p , XI ’ a a of the n s au ter The . 1 1 B ll d Ki g D gh , XVII 4 ’ a a of the n s est The . B ll d Ki g J , XI 79 ’ a a h n Mer Th of t e s e . B ll d Ki g cy, XI 73 a a of the Red Ear The 1 0 B ll d l , XXXIV . 4 a a e of Bad Enterta nment 2 1 B ll d i , A XVII . 4 a a e of a k o H 2 1 B ll d J k ill, A XVII . 3 an Frau 206 B k d, A I . fe r r an e oars an un e s t on The . B k d ll h d d g, XXVII 3 “ ”

an uet t . 6 1 B q Nigh XXXI . ’ man s 1 1—1 ate . 1 88 208 B XXXVI 7 79, , att e of s s a e The 2 B l A y , XVII . 7 XXXVI . 37 att e S e ta e and a Re e 1 80 B l p c cl vi w XXXIV. a a ta n 1 1 B yly, C p i XXXVI . 4 227 INDEX

Be e assure 20 w ll d that on our s ide XXVII . east and Man in n a o n Lo B I di , by J h ckwood Kip 18 XXXIV . 4 ’ B eat ofl in our las t fight were we ? 1 96 eaut S ots 0 B y p XXXIII . 3 9 Because I s ought it far from men 227 ’ Bee o s Son The 2 1 B y g, XXIII . 5 eefs tea 1 B k Club XXXVI . 39 ees and the F s h 1 1 e T e . B li , XXIV 7 ees ! ees ! H r 2 1 B B a k to the Bees ! XXIII . 5 efore a m n r i r B id ight b eaks n s to m XXI . (v) ’ efor m S r 1 01 B e y p ing I garnered Autumn s gain IV . efore o hit ff fin he B y u the bu alo, d out where the rest of t er i r 2 h d s ( P ov) XXXIV. 55

e nn n s The . 1 B gi i g , XXVI 5 5 l M er 21 8 e o . B l, b ly XXXVI

e uo The . 6 B ll B y, XXI

e s and ueen tor a The . 1 B ll Q Vic i , XXVII 75 e 1 1 B low The Mill Darn XXII . 4 Belts 34 ’ e a 26 1 B neath the deep verand h s sh ade XVII .

enefa tors Th . 80 B c , e XXVII Bertran and Bimi 1 5 1 ir 6 8 1 esant S a ter . B , W l XXXVI 4, h 22 etrot e T e . B h d, XVII 7 ’ r Bewa e the man who s cros sed in love X . 9 1 Beyond The Pale I . 89 B eyond the path of the outmost s un through utter dark n es s hurled XI . (xx) ’ Big Drunk B raf . III . 347 S r 1 8 Big teame s XXVII . 7 ’ 2 Bill A wkins XI . 33 “ 1 1 Bi rds of Prey March XI . 3

rt r t The . 2 Bi h igh , XXXI 93

sara of P ooree The . 280 Bi , I Bitters Neat 1 Black Jack II . 74 - an Sutton Sir o n . 208 Bl d , J h XXXVI

a ats Ma ame . Bl v ky , d XXXVI 57 Bles s ed be the Englis h and all their ways and works 2 . XXVI . 73 228

INDEX

” urn n of the Sara Sa 1 n s Th . B i g h d , e XXXV 57 us nes s in the Sea of Marmora 2 B i XXXIV. 7 Bu m En s os es 266 y y gli h p i XI . the oof of the Goat u -t s 8 By h Wild p o s ed I . 33 ’ By th e laws of the Family Ci rcle tis written in letters of ras s 1 8 b XVII . 4 the old M ou me n a o a 0 By l i P g d . XI . 4 the e ere the u 266 o s . By— w ll, wh b ll ck g XVII B t e are t m rt n r 1 0 y h y by wi h i h a d tea s XXII . 4 or of Mout 1 By W d h . I . 33

’ ame s um i C l h p s an ugly hump The . 0 , —XX 3 ana a 1 0 1 0 1 88 1 8 1 20 C d XXXVI . 3, 5, , 9 93, 4 ana ans I n am 2 C di C p — XXXIV . 55 a e o n . 1 2 1 1 C p T w XXXVI 9 , 9 93, 95, 97, 43, 44 a ta ns oura eous 1 2 —1 2 C p i C g . XXXVI . 4 7 “ a ta ns oura eous ra e 1 C p i C g ( T v l) XXVIII . 9 a t e The 201 C p iv , XXII . 3, XXXVI . aret 1 1 C . XVII . ar ton u 1 C l Cl b XXXVI . 39 ar e omas 22 C lyl , Th XXXVI . armen S imlaens e 2 C XVII . 33 aro C l , A . 377 a a ere Ser ente 1 2 C v li v XVII . 3 Cells 1 7 e t in all his ar ant from u t C l v i s B il h to B allyhoo, The 2 8 XXIV . 3 entaurs The 1 1 C , XXXI . 7 entur on of the rt et 1 C i Thi i h, A XXIII . 37 erta n Ma ms of Ha 2 C i xi ﬁz XVII . 57 an e n s Th Ch g li g , e . 2 — XXXI 7 ant a an . 1 Ch P g XXI . 49 arm Ch , A . XXV . 5 artres n o s 2 1 Ch Wi d w XXXIV. 4

ren The . 1 0 Child , XXVI 5 ren of th e Z o a The 62 Child di c, V . 3 ’ ren s Son The 0 Child g, XXIII . 3 4 ’ s Son 2 Chil g VII . 57 - ’ P ’ China Going P . and O. s Pass au Amma s playground 1 clos e XX . 99 o e The 1 Ch ic , XXVII . 3 230 INDEX

26 Cholera Camp XI . 3 r stma 2 Ch i s in India XVII . 43

ur at Was at nt o The . Ch ch Th A i ch, XXXIII 95 t es and S 1 62 Ci i paces (Travel) XXVIII . ’ t es and rones and o ers Stan in me s E e Ci i Th P w , d Ti y 1 XXIII . 37

t es are ful of r e The . 1 Ci i l p id , XI 75

t of ras s The . 1 2 Ci y B , XXVII 4 t of rea fu t The Ci y D d l Nigh , IV . 35 of th He r Th t e a t e . 6 Ci y , XVII 5 — — - d M ta r G e 1 68 an a tte . 8 0 6 Civil ili y z XXXVI . 39 4 , 5 5 , 5 , 6 1 80 74, 7 , War m r an 1 2 1 86 e . Civil , A ic XXXVI 3,

ars The . . 1 62 Civil W , XXVII m a s of A rt The res s . 1 Cl i , (Add ) XXXII 3 as s S s and the en es The res s . 26 Cl ic ci c , (Add ) XXXII 7 “ ” Cleared 148 eare ! 80 Cl d XXXVI . r H r 21 o ste and the ea t The . Cl i h, XXXVI 9 ou s 1 Cl d XXXVI . 34 oastw s e L ts The 1 82 C i igh , XI . o e f M ora s 1 o . C d l , A XVII 45

o ner The . 1 C i , XXXIII 93 o ron ers e C ld I ( V ) XXV . 34 o ron 1 8 1 C ld I XXV . 9, XXXVI . o our fu s ere Mus has n o er 21 C l lﬁll wh ic o p w XXXIV . 4

o umns . 1 60 C l . XXI ome a to me e o e or die 1 2 C b ck , B l v d, I I . 9 ome ere e as s es av s ate P arnas s is 18 C h , y l w XVII . 7 mfor r The o te s . 1 8 C , XXVI 5 omm ttee of a s and Means The 1 02 C i W y , XXXVI . m n a e om o s . C pl c XVII . 95 mm n as of a Great eo e The o o . 212 C T k P pl , XXXIV om re ens on of r ate CO er The 1 C p h i P iv pp , XXII . 77 Concerning brave Captains Our a e at ma e kno n g h h d w XXXIV. 437 on us on ra e 22 C cl i , A ( T v l) XXVIII . 9 onferen e of the o ers 6 C c P w , A III . 5 7 Dr 1 1 0 1 1 1 2 1 2 Conland . . 1 26 1 2 , XXXVI , 3, 4, 5, , 7 ons e uen es 1 1 C q c I . 7 onun rum of the or s o s The 1 C d W k h p , XI . 36 23 1 INDEX

on en C v tionality XVII .

on ers on of ure an McGo in Th . C v i A li gg , e I

on ers on of St fr Th . C v i . Wil id, e I

oo . M . C k, J . XXXVI os m for e C ic c and Cawnpore leather XVII . ount n - S Out on . C i g g, A XXXV ourt n of n S a a The . C i g Di h h dd, II

o enant The . C v , XXVII raftsma n The . C , XXVII Credat udaeus J XVII . r e and ar C ippl P alytic XXXIV . ru s ers C i XXI . “ ” Cr Mur er ! in th ar y d e m ket place I . u oo Son C ck g XXXIV . ’ u s rro s C pid A w I . ure The C , XXXIII . urs n of Ste en The C i g ph , XVII .

ane-Ge 1 D ld . XXVII . 43 ann ee er D y D v XI . 3 ante D XXXVI . 34 ar e e ent our The D k l v h h , XXVII . 9 ’ Darz ee s aunt 2 Ch VIII . 5 au ter of h Re n t e me t The . 2 D gh gi , II 3 a n off th e Fore an —the oun oo ma n D w l d y g ﬂ d ki g XXXIV . 457 a n t at s earten th eso ate unes 6 D w h di h s e d l d XVII . 9

a n n The . . 1 2 D w Wi d, XXVII 5 a s r n M s an I D y p i g i h dled XXXII . 3

ea la in the s rou The . 12 D d child y h d, XI 9

ea n The . . 8 D d Ki g, XXVII 3 2 2 D ead Kings ( Travel) XXVIII . 9

ea in otton . 1 8 D l C , A XXIV 5

eat Bed . . 88 D h , A XXVII

e t The . 221 D b , XXXIII

e arat on of Lon on The . D cl i d , XXVII 7 1 Dedication XI . 75 Dedication ( v)

Dedication XXVII . ( v)

efoe an e . 1 80 D , D i l XXXVI 1 D elil ah — . XVII . 33 oun . . 1 Delilah A b ery s with was a lady not too y g XVII . 33 232

INDEX

Eart is fu of an er The . 260 h ll g , XI ’ E athen The . , XI 345 ’ ’ ’ E athen i ne n is blindnes s bows down to wood an s to ,

. XI . 345 E 1 0 o A n . ch , XVII

E the r est of St fr . 2 ddi, p i . Wil id XXV 49 ’ 2 Eddi s S ervice XXV . 49

E e of the East The ra e . 8 dg , ( T v l ) XXVIII 3 E e f E 1 o the en n The . dg v i g, XXVI 3 9

E u at on of Ot s Yeere The . d c i i , VI 3 E 1 1 gy pt XXXVI . 9 2 1 Egypt of the Magici ans ( Travel) XXVIII . 4

E es t s on es tr es him The . . 268 ld b id , XVII E ms Th Rott n 8 1 1 1 2 1 e ean . l , , i gd XXXVI 3 , 3 , 3 , 35 Emers R 21 12 1 28 on . . . , W XXXVI , 3, - 6 E n Dor XXVII . 4

Enem es to Ea Ot er The . i ch h , XXXI 3 En an an E r s 1 8 gl d d the nglis h (Add es ) XXXII . 9 ’ 1 2 England s Answer . XI . 9 ’ — 1 England s on the anvil hear the hammers ring . XXVII . 45 En F 1 86 s a The . . . gli h l g, XXI 43, XXXVI

En s S oo A n . 2 gli h ch l , XXXV 49

En tenm nt f a . 0 e s o ett M. P . The ligh P g , , IV 34 En H M atre and a e . vy, d lic XVII 39 E ta 1 1 pi phs XXVII . 3 E r M r r 21 e o the Peacock ﬂutte s VII . 5 ’ E re the mot er m had r e h s ilk d i d XXXIII . 79 E re the s teamer ore him Eas t ar Slear was en e b w d, y gag d to marr 1 2 y XVII . 4 E r-H eb beyond the Hills of A o-Safai 1 20 E s f r r ft t uga, volvitu , on we d i ; where looms the dim 38 E s tunt the Gr ff 1 21 i XVII . E t ona Ferente 8 D s XXI . 9 E arra and his Go s 1 2 v d XI . 3 E e ent er s had our fat ers of old 08 xc ll h b h XXV . 3 ’ E es L ne The 2 xil i , XXXIV . 4 4 E ert The 0 xp , XXXIII . 34 E anat on The 1 28 xpl i , XI . E e of a The 6 201 y All h, XXXI . 39 , XXXVI . E es a oft o r an rous a e e e s . 2 8 y l , v d g pl c XXII . 3 234 INDEX

E es of s a The . y A i , XXXIV 337 — 18 Eyes of grey the s odden quay XVII . 3

F a u sts The . 8 b li , XXVI 43 F th r h 0 a e of e es e t T e ra e . c D , ( T v l ) XXVIII 3 5 Fa ur 1 08 il e . XVII . r i o r l — 1 1 Fai s u ot O goodly is our heritage XI . 8 r f m Fa est o o en is s h . i w e XVII . 43 F - 1 6 airy Kist XXXIII . 3 Fa of o G es e Th 26 e . ll J ck ill pi , XVII 3 Fa s e a n l D w I . 55

Fans and the e t n s t e roar roun me The . . . 68 b l i g h y d , XXVII “ ” F re R man e ! - 22 a e o the a e men sa . w ll , c C v id XI 4 F rmer of h a A 1 1 a t e u ust n e . A g g , A XXIV 7 F t r M t r n M a e o e a d e . h , h , XXXI 355 F t m 2 6 a i a VI . 3 r s he r h Fea wa on t cattle fo t e gale was on the s ea, The 2 8 XI . 4 Feet of the Youn Men The g , XXI . 37 Fellden o one em s s 1 8 —1 88 , C l l W y XXXVI . 5 Fe en Mrs . 186 ild , XXXVI . Fema e of the S e es The 1 0 l p ci XXVII . 7 F t on res s 2 ic i ( Add ) XXXII . 99 F e s ere u o stere t o es s o r ed The . . i ld w ph l d wi h p ppi , XVII . 77 F es Th e . 1 1 6 il —, — XXI F es the F es Ofﬁce F es 1 1 6 il il il XXI . F nan es of the Go s The 60 i c d , IV . F nest Stor in the or The 1 0 i y W ld, V . 4 F res The . 2 i , XXXIV 4 7 F rst ante The 1 i Ch y, XI . 95 F rst Sa or The ress 1 i il , (Add ) XXXII . 67 F rs t t me t at eter en e his Lor The 1 0 i i h P d i d d, XXVII . 4 F t of Fa t 1 0 ligh c , A XXXV . 5 F t of the u et The ligh B ck , XVII . 67 F oo s The 6 l d , XXVI . 43 F o ers The 266 l w , XI . ’ Fo o Me Ome ll w XI . 337 Fonthill ts 1 , Wil XXXVI . 33 F001 t ere was and he ma e his ra r e . 0 h d p y , A XXXIV . 47 F or all we a e and are 18 h v XXVII . F or our te and e e ent n ts whi xc ll igh VII . 218 235 INDEX

’ ’ F r 8 o the Colonel s lady and Judy O Grady II . 9 F or th I 2 e s ake of him who showed V I . 93 F r 22 o The Women XVII . 4 F r o things we never mention XXI . 33 — ’ F or T m r T n 6 o Ad i e he I j ian Ocean s ets an s miles . . XI . 35

F or os o from r e re eas e . wh will , P id l d XIX 44 ’ For 0 a u R er d K b l iv XI . 47 Fort La ore 2 68 h XXXVI . 4 , 54, Fort na 201 u te o ns The ra e . T w , ( T v l ) XXVIII

Four n e s The . 1 80 A g l , XXIV

Four r an e s s o the e en s te The . 8 1 A ch g l , l g d ll , XXVI 3 - 6 Four Feet XXXIII . 7 -H 2 F ox unting XXXIV . 4 9 F 1 ran e . c . XXVII 3 Fr n 1 a ce XXXIV . 55 Fr n 1 a ce A t War XXXIV . 53 ’ Frankie s Trade XXV . 339 Fr m nr 1 ee as o y XXXV . 5

Fren ars The . 1 ch W , XXVII 73 F h F 1 r en of t e am . i d ily, A XXXI 33

Fr en l roo . i d y B k XXVI . 53 ’ Fr n F 288 e s r en . i d i d, A I u 8 From every quarter of yo r land XVII . 5 Fr n th E E e a ef marr e om s mallpox a d e vil y , a w s t ul iag feast and the n ness of m co—fe ma the o s , ki d y wi , y g d p rotect my s on ( Prov) 239 - - Fr h M id A l s f S a m . 2 om t e as j Aq a o yy id Ah ed XXII . m 2 8 Fro the wheel and the drift of Things V . 5 Fr h n X 8 om t e Wi gs VII . 4 From e a To e a ra e 1 Tid w y Tid w y ( T v l ) XXVIII . Fr r Th 1 ont oo e . D , XVII 5

Fu t rt foot sh e to ere rom ater ne o ra . . 28 ll hi y w d f w li t il XI . 4 F m f h Heart The u es o t e . , XXXIV 355 “ ” Fuz z — u y W zzy XI . 9

Ga es The s ur . 1 bl , , Ti b y XXXVI 35 G e -S a The 2 8 a e . . ll y l v , XVII 7 ’ Ga o s S on 2 8 lli g XXIV . 7 Ga r en a e G t s mane Th 1 e e e . d c ll d h , XXVII 7 Gar r h ne T e . d , XXXI . 433 G r e f E en Th 222 a n o e . d d , VI 236

INDEX

Great and or 21 I . ous t n it is . gl i hi g , A XVI 7 Great-Heart — XXXIV . 437 Great is the j ustice of the White Man greater is the o er of a li r 2 2 p w e (P ov) IV . 5 Green E e f th L Y 1 0 o e tt e e o God The . 2 y i l ll w , XXXVI Gre S ir G r eo e . y, g XXXVI 95 Groote S uur 1 1 6 1 66 ch XXXVI 59, 3, Gro t and R s n w h e po s ibility ( Addres s ) XXXII . 37 Gun a Din 1 21 0 g XI . 9, XXXVI . Guns and Su 2 0 pply XXXIV . 4 G nn H 1 6 e . wy , . A . XXXVI 4 G 0 yp XXXVI . 7

Ha tat on Enfor e A n . bi i c d, XXIV 3 Ha ar Sir R r 82 8 1 8 1 8 e . gg d, id XXXVI , 9, 5, 7 ’ H al h r 1 8 1 0 t e D aft XXXVI . ’ H al o Th r f 2 e D a t XXVIII . 99 Ha f-a- o n r 8 1 l D ze Pictures ( T avel ) XXVIII . Ha f- r 1 86 l Ballad of Wate val XXI . n Ha dicaps of Letters The ( Addres s ) XXXII . 45 Har oma 1 82 s . 8 dy, Th XXXVI , Harms r fr 1 o t e . 6 w h , Al d XXXVI 9 r n 6 Ha p So g of the Dane Women XXIII . 5 ’ Har er Ma 20 p s gazine XXXVI . 4 H rr Fra a s n . 80 i , k XXXVI Harr our n in En an from Lon on to n is one y, Ki g gl d, d w g

XXV . 97 Harte ret 21 6 , B XXXVI . , 35, 9 Has t n rr 222 s a en . i g , W XXXVI nt r 1 08 Hau ed Subalte ns I . Ha e o n 1 u e s of m b o a . v y w y y J ck XXVII . 5 “ ” Ha e ou ne s f m bo a ? v y w o y y J ck XXXIV . 99 H a n 1 1 6 o . y , J h XXXVI H r r t r i e d ank s t ong wa e s and h s s peech was coars e . . I . 206 H e as e in the r att sm 2 p s d ve y b le oke XXVII . 7 H t G s 1 2 e at at a o e . h h h p l XXXIII . 3 Hea of th s tr t Th 1 d e Di ic e . 68 , — IV Hear now the Song of the Dead in the North by the torn er - es 18 b g edg XI . 4 Hear of m eart is i e 2 t t m et or se . y h , wi X 53 H eh ! a her roun 2 1 W lk XI . 5 238 INDEX

1 1 8 Helen All Alone . XXVI . 1 He for a atr ot stres s e a s ot es s s r t urt . . . 48 lp p i di d, p l pi i h XI — H E . . 80 en e . . l y, W XXXVI 79 r n h r or - t ur was st H e ha d was still on e s w d hil , the sp ill

on her heel XXI . 97 ’ 201 H er Maj esty s Servants VIII . 1 28 Here come I to my own again XIX . “ Here is nothing new or aught unproven s ay the

r . 1 0 T umpets . XXI 4

o n . . Here we go in a ﬂung fest o . VII 73 r 8 Here we have it s cratched and s co ed XVII . - Here ere m fres turne furro s run . 1 , wh y h d w XXI 44

Her ta e The . i g , XXXIV 439

H of us on The . 1 ill Ill i , VI 43 H imal ayan XVII . 99 H 1 ma a as The . i l y , XXXVI 57, 35 “ 1 H is Apologies XXXIV. 44 H i an I n L fe 8 s Ch ce i I . 4 8 H is Cons olation XVII . 7 H is r n i i S ne ret 1 d i k t s ali Py ic XVII . 4 H i G f s i t XXXV . 79 i 0 H s Maj esty the King VI . 3 5 H i ow i wn ro s n s oe h s o ea . 6 h , h d ( P v) IV 7 H i r a H n r 2 s te o ou . 2 P iv II . 3 H is ots ar th o of th Leo ar sp e e j y e p d VII . 35 H is Wedded Wife 1 72 ’ H it a man an e a oman 1 6 h lp w II . 3 Ho art b , XXXVI . 95 Ho ous e M ss 1 bh , i XXXVI . 55 Ho War The ly , . XXVII . 33 Honours of War The , XXVII . 33 Hoots ! toots ! a ont a nt afore 66 y , hi , XVII . Ho e of the Katz ik o fs The p p , XXXVI . 9 Hora e c XXXVI . 33 Hors e Mar nes The 1 i , XXVI . 35 Hour of the n e Th e 1 A g l, XXXV. 55 Hous e Sur eon The 28 g , XXIV. 3 Houses The , XXVII . 36 H ow can turn from an ﬁ re 1 I y XXXVI . 69 H ow omes it t at at e en-t e 1 c h , v id XXXI . 9 H ow do we no the an - r ver 1 k w by b k high i XXXV. 71 239 INDEX

H ow far is H r . e ena f om a t ? . . St. l lit le child at play XXV H ow Fear Came

H ow I t I s Done XXXIV . H ow s hall she know the wors hip we would do her ? XVII . ’ H ow s weet is the s hepherd s s weet life ! XVII .

H ow the Day B roke XVII . H w G o the oddes s Awakened XVII .

Hunting Song of the S eeonee Pack VII . ’ H rra rr f . u h ! hu ah ! a s oldier s li e for me . III

H urree un er Mooker ee r e of Bow a aar . Ch d j , p id B z XVII - — Hus a B a . h y , B by XVII

H aenas The . y , XXVII H f r ymn Be o e Action XI .

Hymn T o Phys ical Pain XXXIII .

am n for ou and ou are n for anot er I dyi g y , y dyi g h 8 ( Prov) I . 4 268 I am made all things to all men XXXIII .

I am the land of thei r fathers XXIV. 57 am the mos t s e Baviaan s a n in mos t s e tones I wi , yi g wi 65 1 01 I ate my ﬁll of a whale that died XXVII . ’ r I 22 I clos ed and d ew for my Love s s ake . . 3 I do not look for holy s aints to guide me on my way 6 XXVII . 9 ’ 1 88 I do not l ove my Empire s foes . XXI . 6 I followed my Duke ere I was a lover XXIII . 3

o to on ert art a . . 1 6 I g c c , p y, b ll XVII 9 h s I ad a little hu band XVII . 73

had seen as a n was rea n . 1 I , d w b ki g XVII 79 — r a r 16 1 I have a dream a d e dful d eam XXXIII . ” a e a t ous an men s a he . 0 I h v h d , id IX 7 ra er n 221 I have done one b v thi g XIII . a at n o r rea and s a t 126 I h ve e e y u b d l XVII . m for ou a s on 2 I have ade y g XI . f n r r 212 I have worked or ten s easo s o mo e XVII . ’ ourne e on a nter s da . 8 I j y d, wi y XVII 5 t r n m X X 8 I keep s ix hones s e vi g en . 7 1 6 I know not in whos e hands are laid XXII . 9 r h n n a 6 I pas s ed th ough t e lo ely I di n town XVII . 5 6 I pray ! My little body and whole span XXXIV . 4 8 240

INDEX

’ m us i r I t n o t ll es . j l ve wi h a th e th ee . XXIII m et m mates in the morn n and oh but am old . I y i g , I VIII m er a Re at on r . I p i l l i s (Add es s ) . XXXII m er a Re r s t A n . I p i l c ip , XI “ m r m s h r . e was o e . I p i i , b k — XVII I n a land that the s and overlays the ways to her gates are untrod XXVII I n Error I n ex tended obs ervation of the ways and works of man 89 I n Flood Time 75 I n L f owes to t a boat was laid XXXIV . 455

I n Sight Of Monadnock (Travel ) XXVIII . 3 28 I n Sp ringtime XVII . 5

I n the da t me en s he mo e a out me . 26 y i , wh v d b I 4 - I n the a s of a e rufﬂes eru es and ro a e . . . 1 6 d y l c , p k b c d XXVII 7 I n the H ous e of S uddhoo 1 59 I h r f r r 6 n t e Inte ests o the B eth en XXXI . 3 r r I n the Matte of a P ivate III . 439

I n The Matter Of One Compas s XXXIV .

I n the ame of the Em res s of n a ma e wa . . . 1 8 N p I di , k y XVII 9 2 I n the Neolithic A ge XI . 77

I n th eo t A e s a a e arfar a e . . 2 e N li hic g v g w e did I w g XI . 77 I h a n r ar - os n t e ple s a t o ch d cl es VI . 3 I n the Pride of his Youth 227 I n the Rukh 299 8 1 I n the Same Boat XXVI . I n the s hade of the trees by the lunch-tent the old Hailey

ur . 2 b ian s at XVII . 3 K -K mh r n r h I n the State of ot u a s e , whe e t e wild dacoits abound 70 r erns ' mes t n 02 I n thei deepest cav of li o e XXXIII . 3 n rnat on of r s na Mu ane Th 1 a e . I c i K i h lv y, II 4 n n res s 2 Indepe de ce ( Add ) XXXII . 45 1 India Bill XXXVI . 5

n an Farmer A t Home The . 66 I di , XVII r 26 Indian T oops XXXIV . 7

n e o ean . 22 I g l w, J XXXVI ” Ins cribed in a Pres entation Copy of Echoes to the - Common Room XVII . 34 nstru tor The 1 I c , 73 242 INDEX

nterre num The . I g , XXXVI 75 n er ar 8 I v c gill XXXVI . 9

r s Guar s The . 0 I i h d , XXVII 4 r 2 I on Into Steel XXXIV . 33

s an ers The 12 . 21 I l d , XXI . 7, XXXVI 3 ’ ’ I t t e r 20 go b yond all o ders an it g ot beyond all ope . . XI . 3 I t is always a temptation to an armed and agile nation 1 XXVII . 43

I t was an art es s an ar and he an e u on a ne . 1 1 l B d , d c d p pi XVII 9 I t was an s n n in no arm nts Augu t eveni g, a d, s wy g e 1 62 clad . XVII I wa 2 8 t s not in the open ﬁght I . 4 I wa 1 t s not part of their blood XXVI . 5 5 I t r w r- h 1 1 2 was ou a ship Clamp erdown XI . ta 1 I . 0 I ly XXXV 9 , 9 ’ I t 260 s a way we have in the Army XXXV . ’ — I t s forty in the s hade to day the s pouting eaves de r cla e XXXIV. 459 ’ ’ I ve a ea n er n n ton h d like a co c ti a, I ve a to gue like a but

s t . 1 ick XI . 7 ’ I ve an e t m s oes are orn 2 d c d ill y h outw XVII . 33 ’ I ve ne er sa e the ma on 1 2 v il d A z XX . 5 ’ ’ I ve paid for your s ickes t fancies ; I ve humoured your k e m c rac dest . 2 1 whi XI . 9 ’ ’ I v n m f er I ve oun 2 e take y un wh e f d it XI . 3 9

a arret W n to uetta 1 8 J ck B t e t Q XVII . 3 a et The 2 J ck , . XI . 34 ’ a s own oes u to the J ck Jill g p hill XVII . 75 “ ’ ’ ’ r ar in f Jain A din was a S j t s wi e, a Sarj i nt s wife was

she . . 2 II . 3 am-P ot The J —, . XVII . 47 am- ot ten er t ou t J p d h gh XVII . 47 ames Henr 1 0 J , y XXXVI . 3 n Dr ir Starr mes o . S 1 1 a . 2 60 1 6 1 1 62 J , ( ) XXXVI 4 , , , , 1 88 am on Ra es V . 1 1 1 J id XXX I 4 , 43 ane usten ee er Sto e de Rous e 20 J A B ch w XVII . 5 an Sm t e . 8 J i h XVII . 5 ane ent to ara s e 1 J w P di XXXI . 90 ane tes The 1 J i , XXXI . 59 243 INDEX

’ ane s Marr a e 1 0 J i g XXXI . 9 a an 1 0 J p XXXVI . 4 elaudin Mu amm r G M J h ed Akba , uardian of ankind I 2 XXX II . 35 enn nd M r a e e e en a e ou s ee . 1 6 J y w g g d, y XVII 5 es ter The 6 J , XXXIV . 44 e s in S us an 22 J w h h IV . 7 ’ obs on s men 2 J A XXVI . 73 o ns on Dr 1 80 J h , . XXXVI . ’ ourne s end in r 0 J y love s meeting VI . 35 ment D u of un ara The . 6 J dg g , IV 4 u son and The Em re 2 J d pi . III . 5 7 un e oo s The 1 1 0 201 21 0 J gl B k , XXXVI . 9 , , ,

un and o The . J k Dh w, XXXV 73 ust S o Stor es 1 2 J i XXXVI . 4 us t e 1 0 J ic . XXVII . 3

’ aa s Hunt n K i g VII . 35 ’ a u t n a u R K b l ow s by K b l iver XI . 47 ar S n att e of . 1 1 K i idi g, B l XXXVI 5 ’ “

as ar s S on in ar a . 2 8 K p g V d XXII . 3 r a Khybe P s s XXXVI . 44 na e 1 2 Kid pp d I . 4 Kim 8 1 1 1 —1 1 8 201 2 1 XXXVI . 5 , 33 , 34, 35 37, 3, , 9 h n T e . 22 Ki g, XI . 4 n has a e for r est and cu The 2 0 Ki g c ll d p i p , XI . 7 n Henr and the S r ts Ki g y VII , hipw igh XXV. 97 n S o omon re Mer antmen 201 Ki g l d w ch XI . ’ Th n s n us e . 18 Ki g A k , VII 7 ’ n s ob The 1 Ki g J , XXVII . 54 ’ n ma e The s r . Ki g Pilg i g , XXXIV 447 ’

n s as The . 1 6 Ki g T k, XXII . 7 n s e Mar Ki g l y, y XXXVI . 75 ’ n e aut or s mot er . 6 8 18 Kipli g, Alic ( h h ) XXXVI . 3, 4, , , , -20 21 22 2 6 66 0 86 8 1 1 1 1 . . . 39. 5 5 . . 7 . . 7. 34. 36. 79. 98

n eatr e aut or 5 s ster . 20 22 2 Kipli g, B ic ( h i ) XXXVI 3, 4, 5, , , 5 ’ f n aro ne aut or s e . . 1 02 1 0 1 1 0 Kipli g, C li ( h wi ) XXXVI , 5, ,

1 1 8 1 2 1 2 1 1 1 n ren . 0 1 2 60 6 Kipli g Child XXXVI , , 3 , 4 , , , 1 62 1 6 1 6 166 1 1 , 3, 4, , 79, 85 ’

n o n aut or s s on . . 1 2 Kipli g, J h ( h ) XXXVI 3 244

INDEX

Le ate ha h n 1 d t e e s as t n . g , I w l ight XXVII 37 Le en of 1 e ons re . g d D v hi , A XVII 4 Le en of E Th 1 e . g d vil, XI 39 Le en of M rt The 8 1 g d i h, XXVI . 3 Le en of th Fore Ofﬁ 1 6 e n e . g d ig c , A XVII 3 Le en of rut 2 g d T h, A XXXI . 3 9 ’ L E nv i o 28 1 68 . 2 2 VI . 4, XI . , 359, XVII 9 ’ ’ ” L E nvoi to L fe s Han a 1 66 i dic p XI . ’ ’ Les s y ou want your toes trod off you d better g et back at once 263 Les s on The 1 , XVII . 3 Lest ou s ou t nk t s tor r 1 y h ld hi hi s y t ue XVII . 45 Let the fru t r en n on 1 0 i ip o e by e XVII . L m it fa r 1 et us a t as a us nes s eo e s ou . . . 1 d i i ly, b i p pl h ld XXI 3 Let us now ra s famou n m f p i e s me , en o little s howing vn . XVIII . ( ) L et us ra s e S u an One p i ch XVII . 39 Letters to the F am 1 2 ily XXXVI . 9 Letters T o Th e Fam r e 1 ily ( T av l) XXVIII . 37 Lett n in th e un e 1 1 i g J gl VII . 4 Le é in th e e a ns . 18 v Pl i , A XVII . 7 L r ten e . 1 8 1 ich b g XXI . L fe in ren es on the Mounta n S e 201 i T ch i id XXXIV . L fe et but in fe and clot not roam 6 i liv h li , h III . 5 7 L t t at Fa e The 21 igh h il d, XXXVI . 9 L m tat ons of am e S eran The 266 i i i P b g, IV . L n o n ra am 12 i c l , Ab h XXXVI . 3 ’ L ner S e s a La The 2 6 i h dy, XI . 4 ’ ’ ’ L ner s e s a a an s h ne er oo s nor e ee s The . 2 6 i h l dy, v l k d , XI 4 L is eth 1 p I . Literature ( Addres s ) 3 L tt e n F s t o r m r u u a t a e o s s . . 2 i l Bli d i h, h v ll wi e I 80 L tt e Fo es 2 1 60 i l x XXIV . 43, XXXVI . L tt e s a tt er e s . 8 i l igh , li l hiv , A XVII 7 Little T obrah IV 247 L e a oman on erfu 1 1 iv d w w d l . XXI . 4 LO ! as a tt e 2 li l child XVII . r Lo ! the Wild Cow of the Des e t, her yearling es trayed from h er 2 XXXIII . 4 9 L O ! at is t s ma e ! A r t es hi ? 1 wh hi I k e h e s limbs . XVII . 7 Lo e Wa 1 1 1 ck d y , A . XVII . 246 INDEX

London Stone XXXIV .

London Town XVII . - - Lon ears a o ere R olls or R cc . g y g , XXXIII

L o o a L ! G s are t es e . . I . o k, y u have c s t out ove What od h

Loo n G as s The . ki g l , XXV

Loot . XI .

Lord Roberts XXVII . Lor ou ast ma e t s or e o the s a o of a d, Th h d hi w ld b l w h d w dream I Lo L on The I I . st egi ,

Lost Le on The ers e . gi , ( V ) XI Love and Death once ceas ed their s trife XI r Love heeds not cas te nor s leep a broken bed ( P ov) I . L - ’- m ove O Wo en III . ’ L r L o e s tan The . v i y, XVII Lo s e toft oat The . w B , XXXIV L fer uci . XVII . Lukannon . VIII .

’ M c onou h S n a d g s o g XXVI . 49 ’ Ma m an s Ma a n 6 c ill g zi e XXXVI . 7 Ma nes s of r ate Ort er 1 d P iv h is II . 9 Ma onna of the ren es 2 d T ch , A XXXI . 59 Ma S uare The res s 1 gic q , ( Add ) XXXII . 39 Ma of the Meers aum The 1 1 id ch , XVII . 9 Ma n of En an The 1 ki g gl d, XXVII . 45 Man and the S a o The 1 h d w, XVII . 59 Man goes to Man ! Cry the challenge throughout the un e ! 260 J gl VII . Man t at is o en of ear to hi n h t s e ors T e . 0 h p h ighb , XXXIII 3 7 Man Who oul r te The 1 C d W i , XVII . 54 Man Who Was The , . III . 393 Man Who ou Be n The W ld Ki g, 39 Man ester Guar an 20 20 ch di XXXVI . 3, 4 Man a a — . 0 21 2 21 d l y XI 4 , XXXVI . 3 ’ ’ M A ndrew s H mn 20 y . XI . 5 ’ n Son Ma s . 6 g XXVII . 7 Manner of Men The 2 1 , XXXIII . 4 Manon Les aut 21 c XXXVI . 8 ’ Mar ! The mud is ea n oo a u out o r trous ies . . 1 1 ch ki g d b XI . 3 Mar us ure us ors e 1 1 2 c A li (h ) XXXVI . 247 INDEX

’ Mare s est Th . 20 N , e XVII 5

Mar of the east Th . 1 0 k B , e V 7 M r 1 0 a klak e Witches XXV . 5 M rr xxr 1 8 a ied Man, The . 7 “ Mar G os ter The . 2 1 y l , XI 9

Mar Mar u te ontrar . y, y, q i c y XVII 75 “ Mar t omen . y, Pi y W XI . 354, XXXVI 79 8 Mary Postgate XXVI . 4 9 ’ r 6 Ma y s S on XXVII . 7

Mas ue of ent Th . 1 q Pl y, e XVII 93 Mas ter e to S r n h os ort , x l thy e va t, e has met a m t W hy 2 F oe XXXIV . 44

Matter of Fa t . 1 2 c , A V 9 Ma n 1 y o ill dreams disturb my res t V .

Ma o L r . o . y , d XXXVI 5 M r 1 20 12 c u e Sam . c l , XXXVI , 9 Mc i U 1 1 G ll nivers ity XXXVI . 9 26 McTurk XXXVI . ’ ’ Me t v 1 hat a e bee n what I ve been XXI . 49 “ ” M ean n of os s The . 1 26 i g J , XXXIV Meeta XXXVI . 4, 5

Melbourne XXXVI . 93

Men A t or The . 22 W k, XXXIV 5 2 Men make them ﬁres on the hearth XXXIV . 4 7 M n F M n n h 2 e at ou t at e T e . Th gh i d , XI 3 3 M r 1 e c antmen The . 20 h , XI Mes o t po amia XXVII . 54 M 1 . I . XXI . 53

Mian Mir XXXVI . 54 1 Mian Ruk n Din XXXVI . 4 M r u e oa n . ill , J q i XXXVI 37 M 1 n s of Men The . 0 i d , XXXIV 4

Mine Sweepers XXXIV . 457

M ne was the oman to me ar n foun her . . . 1 i w , d kli g I d XI 95

M ra e of urun B a at The . 1 i cl P h g , VIII 75

M ra e of Sa nt ubanus The . i cl i J , XXXIII 347 ’ - M r u n h . 2 a e of o r an s s ee s o o n T e . i cl l d p ch k w , XXXI 93 M ra Th 2 1 i cles , e 7 ' Mis s Y oughal s Sais 3 1 Mis sed 54

M t ras God of the Morn n . 1 i h , i g XXIII 93 248

INDEX

1 62 Naked and Grey the Cots wolds s tand XXVII . 6 Naked and shivering how the oozy tide XVII . N amgay Doola I 7 1 0 arro as the om ee as the Pit ro . 2 N w w b , d p (P v) IV

at on s o e to a at on . 86 N i p k N i , A XXI ’ at on s S r t an . 1 0 d a N e n r n . w e ta e The . N i pi i I h i c , XXXIV 7 - at e orn The . 21 N iv B , XI 9

at t . N ivi y, A XXVII 43 ur 1 01 Nat al Theology XXVII . N aulahk a 1 1 1—1 1 1 1 1 20 1 21 1 28 XXXVI . 3, 4 , ,

a a Mut n . 1 N v l i y, A XXXIII 95

e es s tar an The . 1 6 N c i i , XXII 9 0 Neighbours XXXIII . 3 7 e t er the ar nor the N i h h ps nor the crowns amus ed, ’ - 8 cherubs dove winged races XXII . 33

eutral The . 1 1 N , XXXIV 5

New rm The . 22 A y, XXXIV 3 N ew En n 1 0 —1 28 gla d XXXVI . 5

N ew n t oo The . 2 1 1 K igh h d, XXIV

L O . 21 1 N ew amp s for ld XVII . - ew ma e ra e for the c am eart stoo . . N d g v , l p h d A XVII 55 Z —8 N ew ealand XXXVI . 95 9 8 News XXII . 4 1 Newspapers and D emocracy ( Travel ) XXVIII . 75 H 1 1 2 t unt The . Nigh , XXXIV t was er s ent and the moon was o n o n Nigh v y il , g i g d w , 1 0 The XVII . 9 N b r h 1 2 o doubt ut y e a e t e People . XXI . 7

N o o e no an e ! The ou s a e s ut us in . . . 2 0 h p , ch g cl d h v h XVII 9 r 1 Nobel P ize XXXVI . 93 “ ” fr fr t n 1 one o e or ean we cr or ee om s a . 6 N wh l cl , y , i XVII 5 r 1 6 No man and Saxon XXVII . 4 ort E nd Hous e Rott n ean 1 2 N h , i gd XXXVI . 37, 3 r S ea atro T 8 o t s he . N h P l , XXXIV 45 m r f 2 ort u e an u e o . . 06 N h b l d, D k XXXVI orton ar es E ot 1 22—12 N , Ch l li XXXVI . 3 N ot in the am his tor 1 20 c p vic y lies XXI . N ot in the h t t of t e . 2 hick ﬁgh XXVII . 5 N ot in the t of the 1 hick ﬁght XXXIV . 44 N ot t ou o di to-n t S S h gh y u e igh , 0 weet, and wail a p ectre at m oor 1 y d I . 33 250 INDEX

2 N ot with an outcry to Allah nor any complaining . . XXII . ’ Noth ing in life has been made by man for man s us ing

XXXI .

Novoie Vremya XXXVI .

N ow I remember comrades XIX . ’ N ow it is not good for the Christian s health to hustl e the Aryan brown Now Jones had left his new-wed bride to keep his house

in order XVII .

ow Rann the te r n s ome the n t . N , Ki , b i g h igh VII - Now the Four way Lodge is opened XXI .

Now the land is ringed with a circle of ﬁre XVII . ’ N w th Y n Y o e New ear re as t ear s e t . . , vivi g l d b XVII N n r ow the new year revivi g old des i es XXXIV.

ow t s is the cu the te Men r n . . N , hi p Whi d i k XXXIV N o t w his is the Law of the Jungle VII . N ow this is the tale of the Council the German Kais er e re d c ed XI . N ow Tomlinson gave up the ghost in his home in er e S are B k ley qu XI . N ow we are ome t ur n om c o o Ki gd X . ’

n m from eu er l r . u e en s ed he . . . N d y ph , wh N b g I XVII urs er s N y Idyl XVII . urs er R mes for L tt e n o- n ans N y hy i l A gl I di XVII . urses The N , XXXV.

O aal Hear us B , XVII . O Woe is me for the merr fe y li XI . Of all the trees t at ro s o fa r h g w i XXIII . Of all the Tribe of Tegumi Of os e a e Th C ll d . V . Offs ore ere s ea and s ne en h wh kyli bl d XXI . ’ O ro ! Go ro ! a s s ee n s oun h c w c w B by l pi g d IV . O do not es s e the a e of th e s e h , d pi dvic wi III . O East is East and est is es t h, , W W XI . O a ant was ur a e fro h, g ll o g ll y, m her carven s teering ee wh l XVII . 0 or ous are the uar e e ts h, gl i g d d h igh XXI . H ubshee arr our s oe i Oh , c y y h s n your hand and bow our ea on our reas t y h d y b . XXI . O ! us t ee m a the n t is e n us h h h h , y b by, igh b hi d . VIII . 25 1 INDEX

- O ate t ra n fr . 1 h, l wi hd w om human kind XXXI 95

O t was the or t at is an . I h, ligh w ld h he weighed in h h d VIII 97 “ s o me h d a a n ! Oh, h w ow a ros e can s hut and be a bu g i ” again ! 463 1 8 O ere a re ou o n to all ou Bi Steamers . h, wh y g i g , y g XXVII 7 1 Oh ! Where would I be when my froat was dry ? . II . 9

Oh y e who hold the wr itten clue XXVII . 77

Oh y e who tread the Narrow Way XXI . 75 r Old Ho n to All Atl antic s aid XXV . 339

O . 1 0 s sue The . ld I , XXI 4 12 Old is the s ong that I s ing XVII . 9

O Men The . 8 ld , XXI 4 1 0 Old Men at Pevens ey XXIII . 3

O Shik arri Th e . ld , XXXVI 9

O Son A n . 2 ld g, XVII 54 O h 21 o unteer T e . ld V l , XXXVI 5

O es t Son The . . 1 00 ld g, XXVII - 2 On Fort Duty XVII . 3 r 202 On G eenh ow Hill II . 1 0 On One Side Only ( Travel) XXVIII . 4 n h 02 O t e City Wall IV . 3 O T Fr n r f a o I n he o tie O Civilis ti n XXXIV . 59

h Gr a . 1 6 On t e eat W ll XXIII . 7 L On th Stren t of a enes s . 1 e g h ik I . 3 3 - O e f r on ra n e t T M rm . n a te re a he e a . . c , l g d w v l id XXVII 75 On a a n th teamer at a a s 6 ce g i e s C l i XXXIII . 3 7 On e r f s a s f un a r n r a a o a e o s t a e t ee . c p i v g d d d XXXV . 73 On e in fe a e a s tar c li I w tch d XXXIII . 397 “ ” On e in s o often n So omon s a 6 1 c , Ki g l id XXXI . On e n a tt r n ice-ﬁ ld a nd o e e es a a es a o . 280 c , gli i g , g g g XI .

On n a t me the an ent e en s e . 2 e o t . c i , ci l g d ll XXXI 3 9 On e n me was a n anx ou to un e rstan 1 c o a ti Ki g —i s d d XXVII . 54 Once we feared the Beast when h e followed us we ra 1 n XXV . 63 One rou t her F re from a s tant a e 1 08 b gh i di pl c XVII . One from the en s of the eart — fts at an o en 1 8 d h gi p door XI . 8 One ra e to me was en g v giv XXXI . 433 One r ef on me is a I g i l id XXXI . 45 One man in a t ous an So omon s a s 1 h d, l y XXV . 3 3 One moment the orses a t 2 1 bid h w i XVII . 3 One s oo of man ma e to ma e 2 1 ch l y, d k XXXV . 7 252

INDEX

a a e The . . 6 P l c , XXI 4 Pan I n Vermont XXXIV . 459

ara e of Bo ones Th . 1 P bl y J , e XXXV 73 - 226 Parade Song of the Camp Animals VIII .

ar s E 1 . 2 218 P i xhibition 878 . . XXXVI 5,

arsons ir r . 1 8 P , S Cha les XXXVI 3 1 6 Parting of the Columns The . 5 —, XXI Pass ion and Fire bah ! A re they ever linked with 1 beauty ? . XVII . 9

Patrols XXXIV . 39 ’ ea e i s e are an I r turn . 1 P c d cl d, e XXI 97 a e f X X I 1 Pe c o Dives , The . 34

Pelorus Jack XXXVI . 95

ena t The . P l y, XXXIII 397

eo e at Home ra e . 1 1 P pl , A ( T v l) XXVIII 5 eo e f th Ea rn I ce t e are me t n e the sno P pl o e ste , h y l i g lik w, 6 The VIII . 9 18 1 Pevensey Cas tle . XXXVI . ’ R h 1 . 200 antom s a T e . Ph ick h w, V , XXXVI 8 1 Pharaoh and th e Sergeant XXI . 1 6 Philadelphia XXV . 7

nes The . 1 1 1 88 Philippi , XXXVI 9 ,

t S on . 22 Pic g, A XXIII 3 188 Piet XXI . 2 I . 37

eon ean . 1 1 1 Pig , J XXXVI ’ rim s Wa . 1 1 Pilg y , A XXVII 4 6 Pink Dominoes XVII . 9 ne h 0 6 68— Pio er T e . 4 , 5 , 73 , XXXVI — weekly : . 69 72 rates in En an The 1 1 Pi gl d, XXVII . 4

P it at e ed The . 2 1 Th Th y Digg , V 5

i r ff hi I . P t whe e the bu a—lo cooled s hide . 77 Placetne m ne in far La or o e . , D i h XVII 34 a n a es from the H s 66 1 08 220 Pl i T l ill XXXVI . , 73 , , a nt of the un or an Th e 212 Pl i J i Civili , XVII . a mate Th e 12 Pl y , XXXIII . 7 ea of the S m a an ers The 2 Pl i l D c , XVII . 35 easant it is for th e L tt e T in Go s 1 Pl i l d I . 34 o o a ter 8 P ll ck, W l XXXVI . 3 oor ear Mamma 1 61 P D VI . 254 INDEX

2 Poor Hones t Men XXV . 44

ortent The . 1 P , XXXI 95 r Po ts mouth XXXVI . 7 ’ os e on L 2 P id s aw XXII . 4 21 Pos s ibilities XVII . 5 ost at F e Th 1 2 tt e . P Th i d, XVII 4

ot r G ns E . 1 1 a u . . P iph bbi , C , XVII 3 D 8 o er of the o The . P w g , XXIV 7 m 1 8 o nter ros e . P y , A b XXXVI 7 P re-admonisheth the r ter 6 w i XVII . 7 re u 1 26 P l de . XVII .

res s The . 2 P , XXVI 47 r e Gormell 22 2 2 6 1 0 P ic , XXXVI . , 3, 4, 35, 3 , 37, 47, 3

r est in S te of H ms e f . 20 P i pi i l , A XXV 9

r ate ount The . 1 P iv Acc , XXXIV 37 ’ r ate Learo s Stor 2 P iv yd y II . 95 - P ro ons u s The . . 2 C l , XXVII 7 ’ ro o u t h M s r- 1 01 P l g e o t e a te Cook s Tale XXXV . roofs f H r 8 P o oly W it XXXVI . 3

ro a at on of no e e The . 2 P p g i K wl dg , XXXI 95 h ro et and the ountr T e . 2 P ph C y , XXXI 95 ro ets a e onour all o er the eart 22 P ph h v h v h XXIII . 7

t . 1 8 Public Was e XVII . 4 ’ u f H 1 1 2 1 o oo s . 8 0 P ck P k ill XXXVI , ’ S on Puck s g XXIII . 3 21 Punch XXXVI . 4 L 2 62 6 6 1 un a u a ore . 0 0 P j b Cl b, h XXXVI 4 , 43, 44, 5 , , 3, 5, 9 , 97 us s can s i the ﬁre and s n 22 P y t by i g XX . 7 u er The 21 P zzl , XXIV . 5 u er The ers e 2 8 P zzl , ( V ) XXIV . 3

1 22 Quebec XXXVI . ueen was in her am er and s he was m n l Q ch b , iddli g O d ,

The . XXV . 63

ues t The . 62 Q , XXXIV . 4 ues t on The 2 Q i , XXVII . 9

ui uern . Q q VIII . 97 uaer tur 6 Q i XVII . 9 uartette 66 200 Q XXXVI . ,

’ Ra s S on The 2 bbi g, XXIV . 3 3 255 INDEX

Ra 1 2 here XXXI . 5 ’ Rahere n Henr s ester feare all the orman , Ki g y J , d by N 1 2 Lords XXXI . 5

Ra n it ra ns t o t h . 6 i i wi h u a stay, T e XXVI 43

Rain on the face of the s ea XVII . 95

Ra ul a . 1 lph, J i n XXXVI 47 1 12 Ramming an Enemy Cruiser XXXIV .

Rea S ir H r . 1 8 d, e cules XXXVI 3 — 1 2 Read here : Thi s is the s tory of Evarra man XI . 3 8 Reading The Will XVII .

Rebirth XXVI . 347

Re a The . c ll, XXIV 57 Re 8 antat on . c i , A XXVII 4

Re es s ona 201 . 1 1 c i l XXI . , XXXVI 4 R D 21 ed og VII . 9

Red Ear and e ta e f r e . 1 0 l , will y k o guid XXXIV 4 ee 1 R ds of Runnymede The XXVII . 49 Ref r 1 20 o mer The . , XXI

Re u us 2 . g l XXVI . 79, XXXVI 33 Rein elder and Th G F 1 60 g e e rman lag V . Re u es at I n a q i c P ce . XVII . 55 Res ue of Pluﬂles 68 c , The Ret re Gent eman i d l , A XXXIV . 339 Return The 1 , XXI . 97 Return of mra The 28 I y, V . 4 Return of the ren Th 8 e . Child , XXII 33 R turn to s at n 22 e o res s . Civili i , A (Add ) XXXII 3 Return to the Eas t ra e 2 , A ( T v l ) XXVIII . 55 Re ar s and Fa r es 1 8 1 201 w d i i XXXVI . ,

R e . 1 2 1 1 6 1 66 o s e . 6 h d , C cil XXXVI 93, 4 , 3, 5, R h r a n Th 1 0 me of t e ee ta s e . hy Th C p i , XI 5

R me of the ree Sea ers The . 226 hy Th l , XI R E r 1 e of m re The a e . iddl pi , ( T v l ) XXVIII 3 5 R n 1 2 e t an e r e t an u use ee . 6 id wi h idl whip, id wi h d h l I — - 1 Rikki Tikki Tavi VIII . R 1 01 immon XXI . R f G rnm n Th res s 6 itual o ove e t e (Add ) XXXII . 7 ’ R h 1 er s a e T e . iv T l , XXVII 35 R a —Son of the an ar L o o d g B d g VII . 73 -D r T Roa to E n or is eas to t ea he . 6 d y d, XXVII 4

Roa to ue e The ra e . 1 d Q b c, ( T v l) XXVIII 39 256

INDEX

S o ars The . 6 ch l , XXXIV 4 3 ’ 2 S oo efore it s t me The . 2 ch l b i , XXXVI

S ot and the War The re . 20 c , (Add s s ) XXXII 3 - 1 Screw Guns XI . 4 ’ 2 2 S doaks was s on of Yelth the wis e XIX . 4

S ea and the H s The . ill , XXI 3 2 S ea Cons tables XXXI . 9 2 S ea Travel ( Travel) XXVIII . 43 S ea- fe The L 2 Wi , X 57 - S e on Rate oman . 8 c d W , A VI 3

Se on o a e The . 21 c d V y g , XXI

S e ret of the Ma nes The . 1 80 c chi , XXVII

S e ure after a s unnum ere e o . 1 c ly, d y b d, I b h ld XXXI 57 - S ee s aw us t e and Law . , J ic , XVII 74 6 S ee the pale martyr with his s hirt on ﬁre IV . 4

See y ou the dimpled track that runs XXIII . 3

Sen n of ana Da The . 1 di g D , IV 45 ’ ’ Ser eant s e n The . g W ddi , XI 339

S er ent of O e ra e . 26 p ld Nil , A ( T v l ) XXVIII 7 - 0 Sestina of the Tramp Royal XI . 3 3

Sett er The . 1 l , XXI 44

fr . 1 16 Seven men om all the world back to Docks again XI . S en at men tt n in to er ev w ch s i i g a w XXVII . (v) ’ S e Year H r ev n s a d XXXVI . 39 S ez the Junior Orderly Sergeant 350

She did not know that she was dead XXXIII . 39 Sh i no F — n 12 e s t olly that I k ow XXXIII . 7 i ’ D 6 Shill n a ay XI . 5 S n r s s 28 hippi g ( Add e ) XXXII . 3 h r er Shiv and t e G as s hopp VIII . 93

Shiv, who poured the harves t and made the winds to o bl w VIII . 93 S o e off from the arf-e e ! Stea ! 2 h v wh dg dy XXV . 75 S un-s un the o ! a f t fa r n 1 t a a e . . h h B wl Th l , cil d i k XVII 54 u -E r T Sh t y e Sent y, he 350 S m a 6 8 i l XXXVI . 5 , 57, 5 ’ S mon s o n 2 i T w XXXVI . 9 S m e S mon 1 i pl i XXV . 3 5 S n e rs t the te Hors e nn r r a e e f e . 1 1 i c ﬁ Whi B bl w e XXXV . 9 S n a s on of S en e i g g ixp c XVII . 74 S n er and ta or am . 2 i g il I VIII . 5 258 INDEX

Singing and murmuring in your feas tful mirth V . ’ S ir Richard s S ong XXIII .

Six to Sixteen XXXVI .

S is ea and our fa es are red The . ky l d c , V

Smells are s urer than s ounds or s ights XXI .

Sm t mak es me . i h , A XXIII Sm t t s on an ns t ut on as n ton . i h i I i i , W hi g XXXVI

Smo n o r r . e u o u ta es The . k p y Al di , XVII ’ ’ ’ Smok in m e on h m ifﬁ mornin y pip t e ountings , s n n the cool ’ Smu r S n e s o . ggl g, A XXIII Smut Gener s a . , l XXXVI

Snarleyow XI . Sn er u in the un s e e . id q ibb d j gl , A XVII b i u a r So e t ; y o m y give me my eleas e XVII . h t nk So e hi s he s hall take to the s ea again IX . ’ er r Em r N r en ? G So e s ou e . o mo e ne th oo . h y pi wi , d XVII l S o et us melt and mak e no nois e XIII . ’ S o long as neath the Kalka hills XVII . ’ S o long as twuz me al one XVII . ru e ro S o the day st ggl d th ugh XVII . ’ S o we l oos ed a bloomin volley So we s ettled it all when the s torm was done ’ S oldier an S ailor T oo hi r h S o er ma for et s s o T e . ldi y g w d, XXVI S er S o er oldi , ldi r m fr h ar S oldier, s oldie , co e om t e w s o h S olid Muld on, T e

Solus cum Sola XVII . S e ra e res s ome As p cts of T v l ( Add ) XXXII . S E rt ua es ra e ome a hq k ( T v l) XXVIII . S r in the a t ome Wo k B l ic XXXIV . S owe t the s o t at re omething I o il h g w XIX . S i t or omething wanting n his w ld XVII .

on of H is Fat er The . S h , XXXV S t o - ro on a . g C ck C w, A XXVII m S on in Stor . g , A XXVII

Son of e o a e The . g Di g V ld z , XXI S n f a r o o . g K bi , A VIII S M —I Mo am s n n Th n of o e . o g wgli , wgli , i gi g, VII S S en t es The n of e . o g v Ci i , XXVI 259 INDEX

on 6 S g of S eventy Hors es XXXIII . 3 7

Son of the an o The . 2 1 g B j , XI 4 Son of 1 8 the t es Th . g Ci i , e XI 9

Son of the ea T . 18 g D d, he XI 4

S on of the En s . 1 8 1 g gli h, A XI

S on of the E es Th . 6 g xil , e XVII 3 Son of F R 2 g the ifth iver XXIII . 77

S on of the Lat es The . 68 g h , XXVII

Son of the L tt e Hunter The . 21 g i l , VII 5 ’ on f 16 S g o the Men s Side XXV . 3 n 2 0 S o g of the Old Guard XXII . 7 Son of - 2 g the Red War B oat XXV . 75

Son of the S ons The . 1 88 g , XI S on of h S ff r 1 t e u e er The . g , XVII 4 on f 6 S g o the White Men XXXIV . 4 7 n I 2 So g of the Wis e Children XX . 7

S on of the omen The 221 . 0 g W , XVII XXXVI 9 S on M t r 1 to as . g i h , A XXIII 93 S onne t XVII . 87 S o s f Mar Th n o t a e . 6 h , XXVII 3

Sons of Mar se om ot er The . 6 y—ld b h , XXVII 3 S ooner or ate in earn st r in es 1 l e o j t XXXV . 55 S t fr 1 1 1 1 ou a . . h A ic XXI 4 , XXXVI 4 S out fr an War 1 0 1 —1 h A ic XXXVI . 3 , 43 59 S out and far s out e o th n 1 h h b l w e li e XXVII . 57 S t e Mus um 20 ou h K ns ington e XXXVI . S ut ea 1 o s . h XXXVI 7, 7 S ou en r f Fran 28 v i s o ce XXXIV . 7 ’ ’ ’ S eak in in enera ave tr e em all 0 p g l , I i d XI . 3 3 8 S es Mar The . pi ch, XXVII 5 S r t of the Lat n The ress 0 pi i i , ( Add ) XXXII . 3 7

S r t of the a The res s . pi i N vy, ( Add ) XXXII 59 S r f eo e Th 1 1 t O the e . pi i P pl , XXXIV 9 S r n R nn n T 1 u he . . 26 p i g i g, VII “ Sta 12 26—2 lky XXXV . 7, XXXVI . 9 Sta and Co 1 0 lky XXXVI . 3 Stan e Lor Lor er 1 0 l y, d ( d D by) XXXVI . 5 Stat oner res s 2 i y (Add ) XXXII . 93 S eam a t s 1 t . 1 0 T c ic XXII 97 XXXVI . 7 Stellenbos h 18 XXI . 3 Ste en Sir Her ert 82 8 ph , b XXXVI . , 9 260

INDEX

en er es The . T d Achill , XXXIII 373 8 enn s on Lor . T y , d XXXVI 9 , 7

ents of e ar The . 1 1 T K d , VI 9 2 6 Territorial battalions XXXIV . 7

err Mr . T y, . XXXVI 5 20 That Day XI . 3 6 That long white Barrack by the S ea XVII . 3 - at n . 20 Th ight when th rough the mooring chains . XVII 7 That which is marred at bi rth Time s hall not mend 6 . XXXIII . 3 1 1 Their Lawful Occas ions XXII . 7 8 Then a pile of heads he laid I . 4 en we rou t the an es o n t en the u es ew Th b gh l c d w , h b gl bl 1 IX . 7 ’ r r . 1 1 The e a e four good legs to my Father s cha ir . XXVII 5 8 There are no leaders to lead us to h onour XXVII . 5 1 There are th os e whos e s tudy is of smells . XXVI . 3 5 6 There are three degrees of bli ss XXXIV . 44 1 There came to the beach a poor exile of Erin IV . 7 r h r rn 2 The e dwells a wife by t e No the Gate XI . 57 There is a tide in the affairs of men 142 1 There is a word y ou often s ee XXI . 94 r r n w 1 2 The e is a wo ld outs ide the one y ou k o XXI . 9

There is no wind along thes e s eas XXIII . 99 h There is one moment when t e gods are kind XVII . 54 ere is eas ure in the wet wet a Th pl , cl y 93 r i rr no i h natura wa 8 The e s s o ow e ugh n t e l y XXIV . 7 There runs a road by Merrow Down 1 47 ’ r s on mor in entra a 168 The e a c vict e the C l J il IV . ’ ’ There s a legion that never was lis ted 254 ’ - ere s a ttle red fa e man is o s . 1 Th li c d , Which B b XXXIV. 4 3 ’ There s a pasture in a valley where the hanging woods 2 1 divide XXXI . 5 ’ There s a whis p er down the ﬁeld where th e year has s hot her yield 1 68 ’

ere s a o in s ee es ter . 2 0 Th wid w l py Ch . XVII 5 ’ er no in Lon on e s God . 8 Th d XVII . 9 ’ — ’ There s no s ense in going further it s the edge of culti at on 1 v i XXI . 5 ’ er um t i h er 2 Th e s t ul n t e Khyb XVII . 3 262 INDEX

’ There was a row in Silver Street that s near to Dyblin Quay 34 ’ 1 There was a strife twixt man and maid X . 1 1 8 There was darknes s under Heaven XXVI . There was never a Queen like Balkis 281 ’ ’ ere was no one e im Ors e or Foot . Th lik , XI 357

r R n e St t o M er . e e was u a n ast . Th dl , i XI 334 There were thirty million Englis h who talked of E ng ’ 0 land s might XXXIV . 45 r er t re au er 1 The e w e h e d ght s long ago . XVII . 4 ere ere t ree fr en t at r h f rt 222 Th w h i ds h bu ied t e ou h IX . — ’ Thes e are our regul ations There s j ust one law for the s 1 6 cout . XXXIV. 4 s ar th F r t a r n 1 86 The e e e ou h t a e never co tent VII .

s r m om o r . 2 The e we e y c pani ns going fo th by night VII . 57 ’ 1 00 Thes e were never your true love s eyes XXVII . 1 0 Thes e were our children who died for our lands . XXVI . 5

es s res s . 21 Th i , A ( Add ) XXXII 3

They . XXII . 339 r f h n 1 6 They a e ools w o kis s a d tell XVII . 5 e r i f am 6 1 They b a n place o clas s ic n es XXXIV . They burnt a corps e upon the s and 1 99 e r ten m rot er of ol 6 Th y ch is ed y b h d XXI . a h 1 8 They killed a Child to ple s e t e Gods XXXIV . 4 e s a not return to us the res o ute the oun Th y h ll , l , y g

XXVII . 54 They s hut the road through the woods 103 n an Man Thi gs d the XXVII . 77

n not 0 t ou from o e e ate e orte . . 1 0 Thi k , h C ll g l d p d XVII 4 ’ ’ i r f he r 2 This appened n a battle to a batt y o t co ps . XI . 9 1 1 This ditty is a s tring of lies XVII . 3 er-t m w on 26 This fell when dinn i e as d e XVII . 3 r er on 1 Thi s I s aw when the ites w e d e X . 75 This is our lot if we live s o long and l abour unto the end 8 XXI . 4 h Boh Da one 1 This 15 t e ballad of Th XI . 9 - This i s the mouth ﬁlling s ong of the race that was run by r 10 a Boome XX . 3 s n Rustum Be 1 6 This is the rea o why g XVII . 3

r fu s tor . 1 This is the s or ow l y XI . 39 the Law 8 This is the State above XXVII . 8 263 INDEX

6 This Side The Styx XVII .

This Uninhabited Is land XX . 45 ’ r i Tho k ld s Song XXIII . 99 1 2 Though tangled and twisted the cours e of true love XVII . 4

ousan t Man The . 1 Th d h , XXV 3 3 — 1 0 Three and an Extra I . 1 Three couples were we in the lane XVII . 5 - ree e er The . 28 Th D ck , XI 4

ree Mus eteers The . 1 Th k , II re - r S 2 e a t on . Th P g, A XXIII 75

res o Th e . 02 Th h ld, XXXIII 3 r 2 Th ough l earned and laborious years XXVII . 3 1 6 1 Through The Fire IV . ’ ’ r r 2 Th ough the Plagues of E gy p we were chas in A abi XI . 34 Thrown Away 1 7

us for a seas on t e fou t it fa r . 68 Th , , h y gh i I s a h L r t ru 1 Thus id T e o d in he Vault above the Che bim XI . 97 f r r r 262 Thy ace is far f om this ou wa . XI .

Tie The . . 8 1 , XXXIII “ ” er ! er ! . 1 0 Tig Tig VII . 9 m s Th 80 8 1 1 1 1 2 1 0 2 1 21 6 21 218 e e . Ti , XXXVI , , 4 , 4 , 7 , 5, , 7,

n er out of e for . . Ti k B d d, A XXVII 33

s ur ts . 1 Ti b y, Wil XXXVI 33 T o B F e F or Referen 8 e il d ce I . 33 To excus e ones elf to ones elf is human : but to excus e one ’ r i H ra r 2 6 s elf to one s child en s ell (A bic P ov) XXXIV . 7 T o H im Who bade the Heavens abide y et ceas e not from

t r mot n . 88 hei io XXXI . 3 ’ To Lo e s lo o e she ent a are es s ear . 202 v w v ic l c l II .

T o . . 2 T A . XI T h om an ns 1 o t e C p io XXXI . 9 H e 28 1 T o the eavens abov us XXV . r 1 T o the Judge of Right and W ong XXVII . 3 f th ne h rt n T o the legion o e los t o s , to t e coho of the dam ed

To the True Romance T o the Unknown Goddes s ’ T o the wake av T im O H ara came company T o Wolcott Bales tier oa eneat the arro no s The T d b h h w k w , Toba cco 264

INDEX

a 68 Ud i Chand lay s ick to death XI . U s ter l XXVII . 9 Un o a M 01 c ven nted ercies XXXIII . 4 Under all and after the Wheel carries everything ( Prov) 2 0 XXXIV . 4 Un er the S a f 1 d h dow o D eath XVII . 7 Un erta er 1 s The . d k , VIII 37 ’ Un erta er s Hor 268 s e The . d k , XVII Un te t o a ers The . i d Id l , XXXI 93 Un te Ser e 2 — 1 0 s o e e . i d vic C ll g XXXVI 3 37, 3 Un te States — 1 1 2 . 1 1 1 20 1 21 1 2 8 i d XXXVI . 4 , , 3 , 9, 9 n es s u 2 U l y o come of the gips y stock XXXI . 57 Un rofes s ona 2 1 p i l XXXIII . 7 Un ua e ot A n q liﬁ d Pil , . XXXV . 57 Unt th feet a e ro Ro 1 8 il y h v t d the ad XXVI . 5 Unt me i ly — XXXI . 395 Up came the young Centaur colts from the plains they ere fat ere in 1 1 w h d XXXI . 7 U T h R 2 8 p e iver ( Travel ) XXVIII . 7 U th tee S 1 p e s p Ofﬁcial tair XVII . 59 Uses of Rea n The res s 8 1 di g, ( Add ) XXXII .

a e of the S a o Th e . 2 V ll y h d w, VI 55 a our and nno en V l I c ce XXV . 39 a ues in L fe res s 21 V l i (Add ) XXXII . am re The 0 V pi , XXXIV . 47 an ou er 1 0 V c v XXXVI . 4 V an Horne Sir am 1 0 , Willi XXXVI . 9 m o er t m al t em ro n e t e e u . 1 0 V il h , c v h , w l h d VII 4 Venus A nnodomini 273 er t of E ua s Th e ress V dic q l , (Add ) XXXII . 75 er ts The 2 V dic , XXVII . 5 ermont 1 0 —1 28 V XXXVI . 5 er -Own Hous e The 1 6 V y , XXXVI . 9 e r Youn ers on V y g P , A XXXVI . 3 Veterans The 6 , XXVII . a e t at ote the Eart was F at 1 8 Vill g h V d h l XXVI . 9 er Street s . 8 0 1 0 220 Villi XXXVI 77, 3, 9 , 4 , ne ar The Vi y d, XXXI . 57 r n t The Vi gi i y , XXVII . 94 rtue of Fran e The res s 20 Vi c , (Add ) XXXII . 9 266 s on of n a Vi i I di , A orte The V x,

- a e S a es The . 8 W g l v , XXI 5 2 Waking F rom Dreams (Addres s ) XXXII . 33

a es r n e of . 20 W l , P i c XXXVI 7

a n e e ate . 1 1 W lki g D l g , A XXXVI 3 “ 1 8 Walpole talks of A man and his price XVII . 4

an erer from Eas t to est . . 2 1 W d W , A XVII 4 an er n ew Th 22 W d i g J , e 3 Wan s i 1 1 1 1 1 ta t uet . q XXXVI , 4 r an S 1 1 Wa d the oo s The . ch l , XXXII 3 W r i - H 26 a s not sugar plums ( indu Prov) XXIV . 7 1 1 Washington XXXVI . 7

Watches of the Night I . 93

att . . 8 1 W , A P . XXXVI W 1 0 ay down the Ravi River XVII . 4 Wa 2 at H e oo The . y Th T k , XXXV 5 Wa r 1 0 y Th ough the Woods The XXV . 3

a s e ome . . 1 1 . 0 W y id C dy, A VI 4, XXXVI 7 W an e d They — XXXI . 355 We are actors at the s ide s cenes ere the play of life be 8 gins . XVII . 4 W r r a 1 2 e a e ve y s lightly ch nged XVII . 7 b 1 We e the Gods of th e East X . 3 3 We have another Viceroy now ; thos e days are dead and one 1 d XVII . 33 We a e no eart for the s n we a e no an for h v h ﬁ hi g, h v h d the ar 2 o XXI . 4 We n t a r en an to s tren t annon o e and k i iv l d g h by c , c d ,

s or . 22 w d XVII . 4

We ent to e an er the ren f Her u . 226 l Al x d s t gth o c les VIII .

We meet in an an . . X 1 1 evil l d . 4 We ra to God and to Go it s eems 1 1 d . 0 p y , XVII o r n he n We t u t we a e a o e t a e of . 1 2 h gh k d b v ch c ill . XXVII . We two earne the es s on to et er 1 l d l g h XVII . 3 We ere all one eart and one ra e w h c XXVII . 7 We ere a on on the ea w l e b ch XVII . 53 We ere ta en from the ore-bed and th e m ne . 180 w k i XXVII . ea is oo the o ns are est The 1 W ld g d, D w b , XXV. 37 Wee e n e 2 Willi Wi ki . VI . 87 267 INDEX

’ We an s S or I I l d w d XX I . 7 e n ton W lli g XXXVI . 95 ’ ’ e re foot-s o -s o -s o - i 1 W l g l g l g slogg n over Africa . XXI . 75 ’ ’ ’ ’ e re o n ’ ’ W g i ome ; we re goin Ome III . 347 ’ ’ e re mar n ’ W chi on relief over I nj ia s s unny plains . XI . 53 ’ e re no 0 W t s o old in the Army Lis t XXVII . 4 estern n an W wi d d open s urge XVIII . (vii) es tm nst r 20 W i e Abbey XXXVI . 7 est ar H o ! 2 — 1 0 W w d XXXVI . 3 37, 3 Wet L tan T 1 1 6 he . i y, XXII ’ e e run to th — ' 21 W v d k e Queen God bles s h er . XI . 9 ’ We ve fought with many men acrost the s eas 9 ’ —’ We ve got the cholerer in camp it s wors e than forty ts 26 ﬁgh XI . 3 ’ We ve rode and fought and ate and drunk as rations come to 1 6 hand XXI . 5 ’ e 21 W ve s ent our little Cupids all as hore XXI . “ ’ What are the bugles blowin for s aid Files -ou-pa

ra . de . XI 3 at o i G a 8 Wh b ots t on the ods to c ll XXVII . 4 h ’ 8 What did t e colonel s lady think ? II . 9 at Ha ene 1 1 Wh pp d XVII . 5

a r r . 2 Wh t have we ever done to bea this g udge XVII . 35 i f r h 6 What s a woman that y ou o s ake er XXIII . 5 ’ ’ at i in th ra man s i i th ra m n s Wh s e B h s book , that s n e B h a r r hea t ( P ov) I . 93 28 What is the moral ? Who rides may read V I . 4 t i n r n n 2 Wha s the s o g the child e s i g XXXV . 75 i r - - 8 What s the wo d that they tell now now now . XXII . 4 f er o ? 1 0 at o the unt n unt . Wh h i g, h b ld VII 9 a h e S 266 Wh t T e P ople aid XVII . ’ at u t at f o m s e ? 1 0 Wh s y o h oll ws at y id IX . 9 S 0 ee er te en . Wh l , ph XXXVI 4 When a Lover hies abroad 102

l t r a m r . 8 When a l he wo ld would h ve a atte hid . XXVI 43 ’ 1 86 When by the labour of my ands XXI . ’ When Earth s las t picture is painted and the tubes are

twisted and dried XI . 359 2 When ﬁrst by Eden Tree XXIII . 77

en foot to ee and a to n . Wh , wh l b ck wi d XXXIV ro ar s e d not as e When halter and heel pes e lipp d, o give ch r I 1 with s ticks but with gram ( Punj abi P ov) . . 0 268

INDEX

ere a e ou een t s Wh h v y b hi while away ? XI . 45 er ru 1 Wh e n your colts at pasture ? XXI . 7 Where the East wind is brewed fres h and fres h every morn 8 ing XXXIV . 45

ere the re e er a him run t ne . . 1 1 6 Wh v ll l id , d k wi h wi XVII er h r- 282 Wh e t e s obe coloured cultivator s miles XVII . ere the or of a n is t ere is o er : A nd who Wh w d Ki g , h p w m h — ? 0 ay s ay unto im What doest thou VI . 3 5 Wherefore s lew you the s tranger ? H e brought me dis nour 288 ho I . et r Wh he the State can loos e and bind XXVI . 49 - e the s naff e o s or the on ne s t n s . 18 1 Whil l h ld , l g ck i g I White Hors es 1 7 ’ te Man s ur en The . 8 Whi B d , XXI 7

te mot to the os n ne The . 2 Whi h cl i g bi , XXXIV 43 0 White Paper on India XXXVI . 5 h 2 te Sea T e . 9 Whi l, — VIII Who are the rule rs of I nd to whom sh all we b ow the knee ? 27 h i 2 1 1 W o gives h m the B ath ? XXIV . Who at es re the S ea h h d i d XXI . 3 Who in the Realm to-day lays down dear life for the sake f n m r r ? . 8 o a la d o e dea XXVII . 3 Who is the happy man ? H e that s ees in his own hous e at me t r n ro n t a n a ho lit le child e c w ed wi h dus t, le pi g nd f n a r Muni n r alli g nd c ying ( cha dra, t anslated by P ro fes s or Peters on) Who recalls the twilight and the ranged tents in order 12 XXI . 3 Who s peaks to the King carri es his life in his hands ( Prov) 1 52 is m s tr t eat -rat l 1 2 Why y Di ic d h e ow XVII . 6

o at n sor The . . 2 Wid w Wi d , XI 3 ’

o s art The . Wid w P y, XI 45 - k Th 1 a to the n s e t s e . 6 1 Wild h wk wi d w p y , VI e Os ar 210 Wild , c XXXVI . fu -M s s n 1 2 Wil l i i g XXI . 9 ou on uer m eart t our a m Will y c q y h wi h y be uty , y s oul o n out from afar ? 1 2 g i g XVII . 7 o s Sir am 1 2-1 Willc ck , Willi XXXVI . 7 73 am o oure orter 1 0 Willi ( c l d p ) XXXVI . 9 270 INDEX

n in the ne s n s her ra s es The . Wi d pi i g p i , XVII

n ent o n t the s uns et The . Wi d w d w wi h , XXII n s of the or e ans er ! e are s er n Wi d W ld, giv w Th y whi p i g

to and from . XI .

n e Hats The . Wi g d , XXIII nnin r Wi g the Victoria C os s XXXV . r Wi eles s XXII .

s House The 1 2 . Wi h , XXXI . 3, XXXVI t r f Wi h a hea t of urious fancies IX . t A n ma ement Wi h y A z VI . t ra e I n The ro s Wi h D k T pic XXVII . t M r o r r t t u ett r e o e . Wi h i h , h p y bi d, j ic XXIV t Scindia t Wi h o Delhi XI . t the Ma n Guar Wi h i d II . t Th M Wi h e Night ail XXIV. t t os t at re s r f Wi h h e h b d, with tho e that loos ed the s t i e

. XXI . t us t er ra a Ma ter- o X Wi h h e de is C ok that came . XXV. t ou en f r Wi h t B eﬁt O Cle gy IV .

o auf m u a a ers . W hl , y b lly c v li II . - o f cub at e en la in the orn The . W l v y hid c , IX oman I n H is L fe Th e W i , XXXIII . oo sa The 1 W l ck, XXXVI . 55, or ame o n to i es in orment ere he la The W d c d w D v T wh y ,

XXI .

or in the Future res s . W k (Add ) XXXII . or n - oo s W ki g T l XXXVI . r e i T Wo ld hath s t ts heavy yoke, he

or s a l eas e to on er The W ld h l c w d , XXXVI . or t out The W ld Wi h , VI . ’ ’ ’ Wot ma es the s o er s eart to en wot ma es i k ldi p k, k m to ers re p pi XI . Wreath of banquet overnight lay withered on the neck The

re er The W ck , XXXVI . Wrecks dis s olve above us ; their dust drops down from afar The , XI Wres sley of the Foreign Oﬂi ce The 1 ron n . W g Thi g, XXV 7 , XXXVI . n er 1 2 Wy b g XXXVI . 4 , 27 1 INDEX

Ye know the Hundred Danger Time when g ay with paint and ﬂ owers Yea o e of r , v ic eve y Soul that clung Year t n d r r m n o ly, wi h te t an riﬂe, ou ca eles s white e g XXI

Yet at the as t ere our s earmen had foun him . l , p d IX “ ” Yo e A Un k d With n believer I . Yo o m k ha a XXXVI . You call yours elf a man Y ou can work it out by Fractions ’ You couldn t pack a B roadwood half a mile ’ You may talk 0 gin and beer ’ ’ You mus tn t s wim till you re s ix weeks old Yo n r S r u g B itis h oldie , The Young Men at the Manor ’ Youn Oﬂic r Le er g e s tt , A Youn ueen The g Q , — Your Gods and my Gods d o y ou or I know which are the s tron er ? ro g ( P v) V . Your ar f ir inn j o V g y XXV . Your at en e S rs th e o m e to e u . p i c , i ; D vil k p X ’ Your t er e o on a S r s t o at e . i c l l g h ck , i XIX Yout t at traﬂicked on t eat h h l g wi h D h XXXIII . Yus s uf XXXVI .

2 XXVII . 5

272