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Y ALICE in 7 Ftponsoræand y ALICE IN 7 ftpONSORÆAND A Chronicle of the Adventures of Alice, the Hatter, the March Hare and the DORMOUSE in that Twentieth Century Wonderland on the Other Side of Your Radio Loud~Spea\er WITH SPECIAL REFERENCE, AS THEY SAY, TO THE ENTERTAINMENT OFFERINGS OF THE NBC Red Network .ated by Barney Tobey NA’HÖ'NAL BROAD” A RADIO CfrKPORATION O hatteb, P4KMWSE METAPHORS MIXED WHILE YOU 'WAIT. ¡nt of Hatter, Han '««Chaos.....'. ^Hatter I heir CLIENT. ormouse SCENE • The conference room of hatter, hare, dormouse e/ chaos, ad­ vertising agents. Alice, the agency’s client, is seated at the head of the table, flanked on one side by the Hatter, president of the agency, and on the other by the Dormouse, vice-president and head statistician. The March Hare, vice- president in charge of new business, stands at the other end of the table, next to an easel presentation of rather startling design. The Hare glances at his watch and then at the Hatter, waiting for a signal to go ahead. HATTER HARE, POR MOUSE Ci A X. Il set?" asked the Hatter, looking at Alice. The book obligingly turned to the second page: Alice nodded to the Hatter and the Hatter nodded to the Hare. The Dormouse, sitting on Alice’s right, nodded, too. "Okay, J. B.," said the Hare, pressing a button on the cover of the presentation. The huge book swung '** ™ * \ \ open immediately, revealing a title page, which I H'S \ read: l\ "Well," said Alice, "I’m not here to overlook it. I’m here to look it over. Why's it so important?" Page 3 of the presentation replied: Because it 9ives Y0“3" opportunity to "But, why?" asked Alice, who didn’t know beans about radio and was pretty well pleased with the persuade them to buy* job that HATTER, HARE, DORMOUSE & CHAOS I with the greatest oersuader ever invented had been doing for her. r THE HUMAN VOICE. “All right,” agreed Alice, a bit awed by a book “Source?” asked the Hatter. “Want to watch that, which could turn its own pages and answer ques­ you know” The book turned rapidly to page 7: tions put to it. “But if what you say is true, it must mean that practically all the homes in the country / SORRY, J.B- can be reached by radio.” - isQURCE: Joint N&C-CBS “And they can,” said the Dormouse, riffling the fid Urban Survey. pages of his notebook excitedly. “The number of olr hy the homes that can be reached by radio is terrific. In / an^ysi$ cold figures, it's ....” °» listening habits shows 1 I that listening is on i OUIET PLEASE— ,LU I the increase in all / hanple the statistics. I income groups. I 29 300,000 US.H0MES- 85% OF AU THE HOMES ,N THE COVUTRY-ARE “In other words,” said Alice, “radio is really a > equipped with RAPio. pretty important part of people's lives.” At this the presentation turned to page 8 so rapidly 8.°oo. oa»• it almost fell off the easel. Page 8 read: “My!” said Alice. “That’s an awful lot of radios.” “How do you like it?” asked the Hatter eagerly. “—The book, I mean. It’s my own invention—aw automatic presentation.” “I think it’s wonderful,” said Alice. “It must save a lot of work.” “It does,” agreed the Hatter, “ — and it takes orders, too. Watch!” Then, addressing the book—“Tellher about the way people of the U. S. rely on radio for entertainment.” “Well,” said Alice, “I must confess I never thought of it that way before. If radio can do that, it ought to sell lots of stuff.” “Just the figures,” replied the Hatter. / °kAyV h fARVlOHS AHO H OF fl !lq OF STUFF EYtKT ^nd V YEAR- 5 ^"Nurcs d Day “Look,” said the Hatter to the book, “I think you’re beginning to get in a groove. Let’s get on to some­ thing specific, say, for example, stations and net­ works. The lady’s interested in radio, and we have just the program for her. The next thing is where BB^H.OfÉNAL to put it.” ^the - THAT ONES A CINCH. THE PLACE TO PUT Any raj ANY program is nbcrep.the net­ work MOST PEOPLE LISTEN TO most. “That’s not very good English,” said Alice, “ ’more listen most than.’ ” “No personal remarks, please,” said the Hatter, “the survey asked two questions about day and night—‘What stations do you listen to regularly?’ and ‘Which one of these stations do you listen to “It seems to me,” said Alice, “that that’s a pretty most?’ The bool^s correct, although perhaps it did big statement to make in such an off-hand manner.” put it a bit clumsily. What it means simply is that “Nothing off-hand about it,” replied the Hatter. 36.9c/o more people listed Red Network stations as Then, to the book, “Tell her about the All-County their favorite stations than the number who listed Census of Radio Listening.” stations of another network as their favorites.” “Oh,” said Alice, “I see. The Red’s the country’s favorite daytime network. But what about the ■ the biggest radio survey night-time?” I EVER UNDERTAKEN. “Well,” began the Hatter, “in the night-time—” I REACHED INTO EVERY I COUNTY IN THE COUNTRY, I POLLED THE NETWORK I PREFERENCES OF I 166,000 RAPIO FAMILIES 1)07 I our OF EVERY 168 |n the *s even • 3 IN THE *COUNTRY Red’s greatersur(ey listeners . C ^riorrty ’ s'””"5 th^ery time tone, • “Well?” said Alice, as the book gave no sign of con­ ’ h°'dS tinuing. “What about it?” 4 every 9eoqraPeryCrtv.sjie * Questionnaires were mailed out to 1,425,000 families, ' division and country!) distributed so as to insure sampling of every county in the country. NBC had no part in the mechanics of the 1I ^2^3^-ruKT OUGHT “TO survey beyond the printing of the questionnaire, nor were any offers or premiums used to stimulate response. Ques­ tionnaires were returned direct to C. E. Hooper, Inc., independent research firm which handled all tabulations. The resulting census grives the first truly national picture of network listening habits ever available. ••It also shows NBC Red is lis­ tened to regularly by more people than any other network. And then, very slowly, the book closed itself. ning clubs—the NBC Red Monday Evening Club, "Well,” said Alice, "a survey of that size is pretty Tuesday Evening Club, Wednesday Evening Club, convincing—and it certainly shows that the Red's and so on. They're named after the different eve­ the Number One Network. But what I'd like to nings of the week, you see. And they're far and know is why the Red's so hot. What makes so many away the most popular clubs in the country. Mil­ people do most of their listening to it?” lions and millions of people visit them every eve­ "I'm glad you asked that question,” said the Dor­ ning. Coming?” mouse, pulling a sheaf of charts and tables out of "I'd love it,” said Alice, clapping her hands. his desk drawer. "I have here a tremendous amount "Okay,” said the Hatter, tuning the radio to the of data . ..” nearest Red Network station, "now if you'll just "You and your damn data!” exploded the Hatter. follow me through this loud-speaker .... ” "There's only one way to answer the lady's ques­ tion, and that is to show her why the Red Network's so special.” "A swell idea, J. B.” said the Hare, dipping his watch thoughtfully in his teacup. "But how do you propose to do it? Take her on a little tour, like?” "Precisely,” replied the Hatter, "a tour of Spon­ sor-Land—and we leave immediately. If you'll all follow me over to the next page we'll start with a round of the NBC Red evening clubs.” "You mean night clubs?” asked Alice hopefully. "I mean what I say,” snapped the Hatter. "Eve­ *mooh Eomc* A very good evening indeed—follows Sunday, precedes Tuesday thus: MONPAY* NIGHT Fred Waring and his super-smooth music, courtesy of CHESTERFIELD CIGARETTES. FRIO WAKING FOR RENT — Inquire NBC Red. DHEsnuriciP George Bums and Gracie Allen time. *7-e0 A comedy show that has become an American institution. Sponsor: HORMEL & CO. THE BELL TELEPHONE HOUR. James Melton, tenor, Francia White, soprano, and Donald Voorhees’ orches­ tra go calling on millions of telephone users and prospects every Monday night. THE VOICE OF FIRESTONE. Richard Crooks and Margaret Speaks, plus a symphonic orchestra led by Alfred Wallenstein. (Firestone’s been on the Red 13 years.) Dr. I.Q. A change of pace — and one of the most stimulating quiz sessions on the air. Sponsor: MARS, INC. BROWN & WILLIAMSON SHOW BOAT. Virginia Verrill, singer, Marlin Hurt, comedian, music by Bob Trendler*s orchestra. Plenty of variety JC^ on behalf of Avalon Cigarettes. F I()22 THE CARNATION 1 " CONTENTED HOUR. Percy Faith’s orchestra and songs by the Lullaby Lady. Carnation Evaporated Milk fl has been a con- BRowwe-l tented Red advertiser IHlllMMSCR for 10 years. I SHOW DCA carnation CONTENTED NOTE: All time admission. quoted in this book Hoiir in:ot is Eastern Standard DIAL VOVR. Time. NEAREST NBC RED STATION ’orYH/ MONPAY* NIGHT Fred Waring and his super-smooth music, courtesy of CHESTERFIELD CIGARETTES. ÉRíDWARWC r»1 FOR RENTInquire NBC Red. cH£STEBH£IP George Burns and Gracie Allen time. 7:60 . A comedy show that has become an American institution.
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