2019 lrr UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT

2019 LONG RIVER REVIEW LONG Long River Review

lrr 2019 22 nd edition

A Collaborative Project

Creative Writing Program Design Center Studio Counterproof Press

University of Connecticut

Founded in 1997, the Long River Review is an annual journal of art and literature staffed by undergraduates at the University of Connecticut. Today, Long River Review is dedicated to championing the best work from emerging writers and artists across the globe in our annual print and online journal. We want to publish work that electrifies, work that moves us, work that breaks the world and makes it feel whole. Here at the Long River Review, we want to publish new voices, voices from the mouth of the river and beyond, voices drowned out by other voices, voices that might not have otherwise been heard. We want to publish work that is bold, unique, inventive, and most importantly, in your voice. Acknowledgments Masthead

For their generous support of student writing and art at UConn, we thank EDITORS-IN-CHIEF FUNDRAISING MANAGERS the Collins, Hackman, and Gill families. We also thank Brenda Brueggemann, Siobhan Dale Isabella Baldoni Aetna Chair in Writing, and The Hartford. Brianna McNish Samantha Mason For judging the creative writing contests, we thank the members of the MANAGING EDITOR POETRY AND prize committees: Gina Barreca, Brenda Brueggemann, Mary Burke, Jason Lilia Shen TRANSLATIONS PANEL EDITOR Courtmanche, Morgne Cramer, Darcie Dennigan, Hannah Dostal, Sean Betty Noe Frederick Forbes, Serkan Gorkemli, Yohei Igarashi, Douglas Kaufman, Kathy DESIGNERS Knapp, Erin Lynn, Penelope Pelizzon, Gregory Pierrot, Fran Shaw, and Caroline Amberg POETRY AND TRANSLATIONS PANEL Christine Byrne Thomas Shea. Mitch Britton Siobhan Dale Special thanks to our outside Collins judge, visiting author Shane McCrae. Katie Ouimette Lynn Tran Jonathon Hastings Kelly Rafferty ARTS LIAISON Brenna Sarantides Bailey Korynn Shea Our gratitude also to NONFICTION AND WEB MASTERS MULTIMEDIA PANEL EDITOR Hannah Desrosiers Bailey Korynn Shea Daniel Mitola Creative Writing Program Director The Aetna Chair in Writing, NONFICTION AND Kelly Rafferty Sean Frederick Forbes and Associate Professor Brenda Brueggemann MULTIMEDIA PANEL Director Ellen Litman Christine Byrne Lauren Ablondi Olivo Lori Corsini-Nelson, Claire Reynolds, BLOG EDITOR Anna Zarra Aldrich Frank Gifford and the UConn Inda Watrous, and Melanie Hepburn Anna Zarra Aldrich Hannah Desrosiers Foundation Daniel Mitola SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Interim Dean Davita Silfen Glasberg Allison Rosaci Steve Bowden and Design Center and the College of Liberal Arts and Brenna Sarantides Studio at UConn Sciences INTERVIEWS EDITOR FICTION AND DRAMA Lauren Ablondi Olivo PANEL EDITOR Robert Smith and the UConn English Department Chair Joseph Frare Bookstore staff Robert Hasenfratz CHIEF COPYEDITOR Jonathon Hastings FICTION AND DRAMA PANEL Ryan Amato Jason Courtmanche and the All the UConn students who kindly MARKETING COORDINATOR Isabella Baldoni Connecticut Writing Project submitted their work for our Ryan Amato Esther Santiago consideration LITERARY EVENTS COORDINATOR Lilia Shen Allison Rosaci Brianna McNish Samantha Mason COMMUNITY ENGAGMENT Kate Luongo COORDINATOR Kate Luongo Contest Winners Gloriana Gill Art Award All contests are judged anonymously by committees of faculty and outside authors. Special thanks to all who submitted, and congratulations to this year’s winners.

THE WALLACE STEVENS THE AETNA CREATIVE Given in memory of Gloriana Gill for photography POETRY PRIZE NONFICTION AWARD (preference given to black and white) and painting, drawing, Given by The Hartford for the Given by the Aetna Chair in or cartooning. Gloriana Gill’s life was one of toil (she was best group of poems by a Writing to support excellence in a dairy farmer’s wife in Pomfret, ct) and tragedy (she lost graduate or undergraduate. creative nonfiction one son to a hunting accident and another in a car crash). Kerry Carnahan, 1st Place Natiel Cooper, Co-winner She found a way to deal with her difficulties through art Matthew Ryan Shelton, nd2 Place Andrew Kucharski, Co-Winner and humor. She adorned her walls, windows, and even Christine Byrne, 3rd Place the interior of their barn with paintings, cartoons, and THE AETNA TRANSLATION AWARD stencils. She painted portraits of local farms, drew cartoons THE JENNIE HACKMAN Xin Xu for a Putnam newspaper, and, when their dairy herd was MEMORIAL AWARD FOR sold off, worked as an illustrator and graphic designer THE AETNA CHILDREN'S SHORT FICTION making educational films. From a gnarled piece of wood Awarded in memory of LITERATURE AWARD transformed into an elf, to scraps of cloth made into comical Jacob and Jennie Hackman Madeline Eller dwarf-sized figures, she could make almost anything into for the best work of short fiction THE LONG RIVER GRADUATE art or amusement. The Gloriana Gill Awards are intended to by an undergraduate. WRITING AWARD encourage the students of UConn similarly to discover the Courtney Haigler, 1st Place For the best piece of writing in importance of art and humor in life. Ellen Fuller, 2nd Place any genre by a graduate student Christopher Gardner, 3rd Place Sophia Buckner ISABELLA SARACENI, Illustration THE EDWARD R. AND EDWIN WAY TEALE AWARD OMAR TAWEH, Photography FRANCES SCHREIBER FOR NATURE WRITING COLLINS LITERARY PRIZE Ellen Fuller Given by David and Emily Collins for the best poem and best prose THE LONG RIVER ART AWARD work by an undergraduate. Lauren Valledor Sean Cavanaugh, Prose Veronica Schorr, Poetry Contents

11 Letter from the Editor INTERVIEWS

POETRY AND TRANSLATIONS 48 A Conversation with Kerry 57 An Interview with Jodi Picoult Carnahan Lauren Ablondi Olivo and Ryan 12 I Cannot Know 36 Apocrypha Siobhan Dale Amato Ain Jeong J. Kates 20 Cempasúchil 37 Wulf and Eadwacer/Daylight Is Benjamin Radcliffe Our Evidence FICTION Kerry Carnahan 22 Border (Adapted from 32 Eucalyptus 52 What Was Carved in the Birch "Cempasúchil") Cassandra Quayson Tree Benjamin Radcliffe 62 See Change in English Alyssa Grimaldi Sophia Bruce 24 Elegy with Pine Nuts in its Mouth 65 Housefly Danielle Pieratti CONTEST WINNERS Stella Kozloski 35 Mary, the Magdalene 71 Night of the Entangled 91 Of Lambs and Wolves Mathieson Byer Sean Cavanaugh Courtney Haigler

96 82 There Will Come Hard Rains Because Even the Titanic Sunk CREATIVE NONFICTION Christopher Gardner Veronica Schorr

13 Flotsam 60 Roots 87 The Morpheus Franziska Lee Franziska Lee Ellen Fuller 16 The Lost City 64 Fragility: A Night Terror Fatima Siraj Anna Rose Strosser Contents Letter from the Editor

SIOBHAN DALE BRIANNA MCNISH

ARTWORK Earlier this year, twenty-one new staff members commenced work on the 22nd edition of Long River Review with a sole intent: to be more daring, 28 Psychological Spaces 68 The Trade experimental, and inventive than ever. We wanted to push ourselves to Isabella Saraceni Johnny Koekee play with language and to interrogate what works move us. And now, in 29 The Supernatural 69 Next Boyfriend its third year since accepting submissions from an international pool of Omar Taweh Johnny Koekee writers, Long River Review is caught in a strange flux between its identity as an undergraduate-affiliated journal and an international one. It begs 30 (In)Complete 78 Primal the question of what is Long River Review’s inherent “voice,” and what Lauren Valledor Omar Taweh constitutes not only our identity as an undergraduate-led literary journal 31 The Young Sufferer 79 The Old Sufferer but as a journal with a new staff entering uncharted terrain. The latest issue Johnny Koekee Johnny Koekee steeped us in uncertainty. Yet, there was a strange comfort in traversing through this liminal space of who and what we wanted to be this year. 44 Underside Watcher 80 In the end, we accepted stories from emerging and established alike, Jacob McGinnis Taylor Giorgetti ideally capturing our vision to publish electrifying prose and poetry. We 45 Drowning in a Sea of Aid 81 Lantern chose pieces that urged us to engage both their content and form. We Omar Taweh Olivia Baldwin chose pieces that demand readers to look beyond their experiences to 46 Starstruck Obsession 98 How Much Can You Take immerse themselves in a new viewpoint. Take, for example, Franziska Ka Ying (Angela) Kwok Johnny Koekee Lee’s “Flotsam,” about the trials of girlhood and growing up. She ends her personal essay with the following challenge: “Who do you want to be?” 47 Sleep 99 Mush Indeed, Lee’s expressed wish to become a “diving woman” who “want[s] to Jacob McGinnis Omar Taweh fall into something that doesn’t care” brims with the same daring question 66 Wake Up Oni 100 Recycled Art of possibility and release; it asks us, as readers, to reevaluate all the things Johnny Koekee Johnny Koekee we could be. Ultimately, we hope to champion that question — who do we want to be? 67 101 Dnt s8y th^t (in public) Look Back — by leaving these artists’ poetry and prose as an answer. The art collected Dan Criblez Olivia Baldwin in our latest issue is a testimony to the potential and depth of the human condition. As we fully acquaint ourselves with intermittent sunshine and rainy weather of the new spring season, we encourage you to hold these words close, let them talk, and make them yours. My heart which refuses to cease its burning. That my heart guards like the faint flame of thislamp, Whose night isit Becomes the fuel for another one. The ashes that conclude the burning of alamp Propped upby hands aspersistent asjade Perched on the sea on heels aslight asalotus Whose poetry isthe sun at twilight As anunending and slender stream pours over them Which ring out from roots and stones of sources unknown Whose songs are those A mysterious scent blown over the top of anancient tower That brushes past the blue-green moss of a deep forest devoid of flowers Whose breath isthis Blue gapsinterrupting the black clouds herded by westerlies Which isseen inglances following arainy spell Whose face isthat Making vertical ripples through the still air as they fallsilently That form the shape of paulownia leaves Whose footsteps are these I Cannot Know AIN JEONG A fewA years ago, my familygotseasonal topass a the state beaches. We made We’d stand on the silken strip where the ocean meets the land and dig our toes Writeabout your deepest fears. Write about the day you got your dog okay,— don’t know what to say during ice breakers. Idon’t know what to do with hands. my are you passionate about? weeks ago. The rest of his skin was rose-tinged and tanned. He took that same we had been standing. A train hurtled by, a streak of blue-red-silver, here and catchcouldyou clawed throughit, andground the dove you at if werefast, what’s going on in there. business. what’s That’sin about yourself:Write my onof none going you later.you ones we said made him look like KeanulookliketheReeves. onhim made oneswewas saidalways I “I wish one.We bigyellowhada bucket full. They ranged from cicada-sized to bigger hand, the pale gold outline of fingers where she had applied his sunscreentwo metal blur to Boston for work, so I asked him if he could see the people onpeople the see could he if him asked I work,so forBoston to blur metal knees, Googled them. “They live,” she announced, “in the swash zone, and use in. After a wave came, you could see little fading dimples on that is as bad as studying the workings of the human cell. I don’t need to knowdon’tto needI cell. human the workingsofstudying the as bad as is me, Picture these personal prompts like reporters, microphones to my face, asking Science says your voice sounds different on recordings because when you when because recordings on different sounds voice your says Science the beach when he passed. He said yes. He tugged down his sunglasses — the gone. then tiny antennae to feed.” their discomfiting something about brother’s was littlest myThere fist. than forty-minute thefavorite,a our week.Neck, drive Rocky to sometimes twice that one’s fine. It’s just the need to be present in my head that bothers me. bothers that head my in present be to need the just one’sIt’s fine. that strip — fat sand crabs that had been unearthed,beencrabsthatsandhadfat — tunnelingstrip down.backyou If thoughtsownmyridiculous.says,Examining Franziska, voice yourinneris Scienceears.loweryourown yourskull topitchthe vibrations thein speak sample after sample of our “developing styles.” Write about your mother’s eyes. beach.” barrel shape and their blind scuttling, but I don’t remember being afraid. eas mmi mks e so me makes memoir because We paused for a moment to appreciate the term “swash zone” for wherezone”for “swash term theappreciate momentto a for Wepaused My father was digging a hole. On his back was the ghost of my mother’s my of ghost the was back his hole. On a digging fatherwasMy My mother, with the umbrella that always blew away trapped between her So what do youdo?whatdoSo youwantdofrom What life? Overhere, Franziska what— Backspace backspace backspace. likeI nonfiction more than memoir I write, I FRANZISKA LEE Flotsam uncomfortable. Am having an all-life crisis. Will get back to — n nls cas e generate we class English In I

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 13 “you’ll like raw seafood.” We ate out in the yard on the chipped picnic table, toes — writing, over and over again, about a language I can’t speak and a country a can’tand I speaklanguage writing,over a overabout— and again, Strength and perseveranceStrength and fingers.“Today,” writes researcher Hyu-Yong “thePark, expectation of Korean quite the one they visit now. Their ancestral home is carved away like dead like carved away is now.home ancestral theyvisitTheir onethe quite documentaries, on the shelves of a museum. They are no longer relied on, and The seafood. various harvest to ocean the into equipment, without diving, lots of people like girls and trees and sleeping.and trees adore peopleand The only of I girlslike lotsthing wholly lonely.wantI the burning peacewhen every wantmuscleI tired. to is live in his parents are from a peninsula. Last summer, in Maine with my mother’smy with Maine summer,in Last peninsula. a from are parents his Evangelical Christianity. He hopes to pass that on to us. It’s already too late for I’ve never seen and grandparents I don’t know. What can I give to my children? its stuck has imperialism note, linguists hangul, language, Korean the in island’s people. the of percent ten government’s of the massacre was result their depended on isle livelihoodthe kingdom. of The Confucian a of midst wetthegrass.in relatives, my father told me to try raw oysters. but “If you’re cities, landlocked really in Korean,” Illinois, he said, and Texas in born were I and father My restrooms. But these are not the answers the reporters are looking for because be to time and light,work, natural clean good, want I nap. a take to want I haenyeo for Asia. And there’s me, with my mouth that stumbles over their syllables. Me the dilution of other-blood. The slow disappearance of a tongue. Even a tongue. of disappearance slow The other-blood. of dilution the that feeling. parents that English counts as social capital is unconditional.”is capitalparents thatsocialEnglish counts as MoreKoreans speak English, more and more Korean words are rubbed out, replaced instead Interesting: preserved. barely only architecture discarded, tradition skin, still they dive. of subject are kind, they their of last wetsuits. black The their sunspotted in government. end military The American and Korean the rebellionagainst a started Jeju in Party Labor Korean South perseverance.The 1948:and April and visceral on my tongue. and unusually isthe ocean. It’s inmy bones and maybe inmy blood. public other in each to nice are girls way the soft, is hair mywaythe about passionate I’m suburbs. the move people to reason the film, GhibliStudio a stood there for a while, then ran at the horizon and fell in all at once, back first. by Englishbyapproximations — “Sometimes.” “Do they wave? The people on the beach?” The Korea my grandparents left in the late 60s to finish school isnot school finish to 60s late the in left grandparents my Korea The in the a near-matriarchy island their made Jeju of women Korean The oa the Today sep lt ad st n y ad n wth h wn lk smoe in someone like wind the watch and yard my in sit I and lot, a sleep I knees, his to up waded He does.always he way thewater the in got He My grandfather traded his own traditions for Americana in the shape of shape the in Americanafortraditions own his grandfathertradedMy te iig oe, ee erd n rsetd o ter strength their for respected and feared were women, diving the , haenyeo Ilove oysters r od oe, ih ra pue ae, tu and stout faces, prune broad with women, old are . . They taste like salt and go down too fast, ugly fast, down go and too salt They like taste . ca-ma-ra — — forcamera, do-nut for donut, donut, for A-see-a

Theseglasses make me look more Asian — good or bad? wasn’t long enough for all of the Atlantic and Eurasia — shift the map east map the shift — EurasiaAtlantic andthe of all forwasn’tenough long something that doesn’t care. water of the womb.” The water of the womb, for me, is very thin indeed. There ownsake, the disparagingatheism affluentof liberals, and true the American grandmother’s dress, the lace like foam. It’s like going to sleep. If I didn’t always lack of heritage my father wanted when he was ateenager. love the ocean, Iwas always going to. the than thicker is covenant the of blood “The idiom the from come have that’sland thetrouble. themywater.puttoesin slowly, I in go I skinof strip it you’reit flowdown.)Koreanthe intooceans of another. calm one All It’s the mirror,the againstmonths.cheek myPressing in language-learning appmy cut I string The Haven,Connecticut.overNew wall the on interactivemap fortheirtreesChristmaswith raised organized religion. was up I taketome and maybe it would have reached Korea. (I’m always reaching, haven’t opened are so many things in this water. It dilutes, conducts, dissolves. And I don’tI conducts,dissolves.dilutes,And water. It this in thingsmany so are at atime. believe that there’s a moment when you fall in love. It’s like growing into your Accordingtoetymologists, the phrase, “Blood is thicker than water,” might What do you want to be? I want to be a be to want I be? to wantyou do What In an exhibit at the Yale Art Gallery, on artists in exile, I put a peg in an in peg a put exile,I in Gallery,artists YaletheonArt atexhibit an In diving woman. Iwant to fall into We get it we get it we get

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 15 “It’s X kilometersBelawhereX beenhadLas ofdistrictthefromI Karachi,small is The sun was unmerciful that day and there were no signs of life until a random whenturnedI down the second marriage proposal that arrived at our house – caretaker. He says rocky the along drove van The Mapping. Cultural on research conducting think we belong in the Mughal-e-Azam, had been providedplantationbeenshopkeeper,the frombanana had reached a I until his eyes staring back at me. Chartered accountant with a house of his own and rememberedfinger wouldAkbar,downthehis way arms.hetraceand my followedinstructionsI I theroad.the half motorbikeby,whizzedup taking I walked on the dust track and my slippers accumulated dirt between my toes. my bag at the guesthouse which was a stuffed room and had a bathroom with reading pace, but it was still good. It made the distance seem shorter. I me a droppedcopy of my heart skip abeat. I muttered his name, on repeat, hoping the next syllable I uttered would make inkon the glossy surface, rubbed it betweenin my fingers to feel the warmth. minimum chance of infidelity. His name was written on the back. I traced the momenttobreathe, before continuing. “They were with Allah’smet that stretched confidently into the horizon. To my left were a series of rows of troddenby Alexander the Great. Modern Bela,Las where Alexander founded withcarrying eitherwasmountainous side.onfaçade I a with linedterrain, turned cities upside down.” packaged asmy grandmother’s friend’s youngest son. a crop sown and ploughed. A bead of perspirationsowncropploughed.ofandbead a trickled down A myspine. I an Alexandria at the principal settlement of the Oreitae. toileta that doesn’t flush. Camera, notebook, phone, chador. say I “Like this one isn’t.” Istormed off and shut the door to my room. with happened what know you “Do nashukri That night, Ididn’t cry. I woke up to the portrait photograph of the man I had rejectedyesterday,had I photographportraitman thethe towoke of up I I fell asleep. I didn’t shout. ungrateful say Allah’sto no to The Chachnama salam

baaji The Lost City , history of Sindh. Its Urdu translation slowed my . I leave to discover the city which had once been FATIMA SIRAJ he would say, but, unlike his name, there — — na shukra rehmat .”Mymother reminded me epe” h gv m a me gave She people?” salam azaab to the the to , he , I was nothing royal in our temporary rendezvous’.temporaryexhaled lungsour Finally, my in royalnothing was weretheagainstthinklinedmudwalls, complemented openroofin withan verandahandthe of roundclockwise completeda I Quran. thefrom verses crimson red and green chadors, shimmering with gold lace boundaries and boundaries lace goldwithshimmering chadors, green and red crimson of shrines but this one was unlike the rest. There was no point of entrance of point no was There rest. theunlike was one this but shrines of enteredthroughlow entrance.a Pakistan’s dottedlandscape is with a myriad I guessed that he must have arrived in Bela somewhere in the twelfth century. movedaunty.outsidewith The Everything seemed to be acautious warning inthis neighborhood. noticed a grave right at the back. It didn’t have a name but was decorated with for light or air and the ceiling was low. There were four graves to my right my graves to low.four There were was ceiling the and air or light for thetrees,roamingsideside,to restless. guest– muchlikeitsThe a distancetheafields. barely In had were crops few to sprout. tied cows The theconfrontational andacknowledgedpast theblue-green pale dome resting the verandah. At the time I arrived,verandah.thearound2.30pm,I thereAt timethe were onlywomen 1077-1166.fromBaghdadlived in whoalsohad PakIt Ghaus ofdisciplethe the shajrah on top of the mihrab. The old lady entered. Z informed me as she offered me a glass of water. It was my first interview first my was water. It of glass a offered me she as informedme Z of series home.A herinto welcomed whome ladyyoung a was Z pieces and like the one outside – nameless. The only point of reference was of point only nameless.The – outsideone the like and pieces seated on the edge of the and heard awoman’s voice from behind. situated on a series of steps, leading to a main door. I left my slippers on front at a distance. A light blue pastel, the same color I would have wanted my baby and childrenand presentthemostofhouses. in “The have men gone tooff work.” settled Bela afterwards. in mind Ifhad my formed correctingthe chronology, statedthat Hazrat Sheikh Karrhyo hadtravelled around the world and finally chess-like carried latter The left. my to ones smaller of series another and slippers near the stairs. boy’s room walls to be painted. I left the dirt road and began the walk through upsidedown.” Shereferringwas myto " “Don’tleave your slippers there." She frowned. The an woman ladyold was “ “That’s Karrhyo Pir’s sister.” “And the one at the back?” “Karrhyo Pir “Whose mazaaristhis?” I asked her, my eyes looking around for asign. “Who are you?” She asked me. “ “What happened, aunty?” “ rcaglr eadh nasltd the encapsulated verandah rectangular A Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Assalam-o-Alaikum Jee? I made a small prayer, added a hundred rupee note in the donation box and I introduced myself with abrief hug. She looked upmomentarily. " . ” She pointed at the , this could have been an invitation, to your city being turned .” The lady whispered, shaking her head. . Sorry.” I adjust the adjust Sorry.”I . mazaar shajrah ’s entrance, who Ihad completely missed. shajrah — read that Hazrat SheikhHazratKarrhyothatread was chappal . dupatta mazaar placedthetotoocloseshrine. to my head and keep the keep and head my to rm l fu sds I sides. four all from mazaar charpoys was

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 17 Armabel,which now resembles neglecteda mound, possibly resonating with Armabel was suffering from a lack of religiosity. To serve the cavity in the city’s The disciple would knock on the villager’s doors, asking for something. These are not mere stories, but a support system to hold on to. ecmn ad ofral, nie e h dd’ ko wee o tr or start to where didn’t know who me comfortable, unlike welcoming and were also looking for treasure.” He said. When I asked for moreinformation,forasked looking I Whentreasure.”forweresaid.also He finish the conversation. She spoke with ease and would steal a smile on her on smile a steal conversation. and would the finish ease with spoke She city upside punishment city form a of down as for the stubborn people; therefore, greetings and ordered one of the women to make me a cup of tea. I politelyI tea. of cup a me womenmakethe toof ordered one andgreetings grandmother —the aunty Ihad met at the himself.discoveredHe thethatvillagerswere sinful people. only warnedHe informed happenings to and the returned disciple The bread. of piece a him he mentioned that the villagers made it difficult for them to stay and sent to stay them for difficult it made villagers the mentioned that he refused, saying I must leave in a while. With a glint of hope in my andeyes my in hope of glint a while. With a leave in must saying I refused, village the visit todecided Karrhyo Pir surprised, and CuriousKarrhyopir. her referencesto direct with humblenessandmythology withthe narrated from the the On sat. everyfacethen.I whilestood Shenowand to the latter half, I found myself walking with Z to the upside-down city of upside-down city the to Z with found myself walking I half, latter the to them away. tooinsensitivethatis thetobeliefs thathave embedded structures.thesocial that this myth was embedded within the socio-religious framework of the city the he’s turn disciple that to his about wouldwho offer ladyto oldfood the an archaeological complex. around here, to which he said no. suspiciontheirs,in askedI the gentleman anyoneif hadever found any coins and it was more than just mythology. I realized that mythology may be a word silver. and she should leave. spiritual aesthetics, Karrhyo Pir would send his disciple to preach the message. and the only other one in the room, was her wasvery lady young The territory. an unfamiliar to introduction first and bird with fettered wings, I began to yearn for things that shone of gold and gold shone of that things for yearn to began fettered I with wings, bird “Some “Not many, only pious people find them.” a like shins, my to tingle a sent anyone curiosity anything?” “Didfind My “In monsoon, people travel here from farvillages to collect coins.” “Coins?” My nervous system lit up. a coin city, aren’t “There the found who in many there’s man elders old an theremore“Areto,theabout anylearnto otherspeak can peopleI “Food, Money …we don’t know!” remarked Z. The disciple would visit every day and oneno except one lady would offer aig e s frinr te l gnlmn fee hs ad o me for to hand his offered gentleman old foreigner, the a as me Taking Devoid of any physical descriptions, Karrhyo Pir was a saint, and the city of Some need an intermediary, others are afraid to ask for God. Belonging God. for ask to afraid intermediary,are othersan need Some Z took me to another house where they narrated the same story. It appeared kalti shehr kalti shehr angrez upside-down city?” Iasked Z. foreigners came here a few years ago, they dug a hole.They a theydug ago,yearsfew a hereforeigners came upside-down city but he lives really far.” mazaar bhaabi earlier. brother’s wife sleeping. She charpoy oppositeme, mazaar

visualizing its reflection, but it did not make sense. Nothing made sense in sense made sense. Nothing make not did it but reflection, its visualizing attempted and resembled well noticed hole a the that I left. andwhosinned whileharvesting thisseason’s crops. Girlslike meokay are withcompromise wanderaround and itfieldcall research when really, we’re only trying findto with the ancient city of Alinda. I could not fathom for this city to be otherwise. o’ wah te wy int t ed rmr dw m lwr pn? Why spine? lower my down tremors send didn’t it why then wrath,God’s collected them in a bag with hopes of understanding the city’s material city’s the understanding of hopesreturn and sense wanted made gather no culture.to thesethat little I shards with bag a in them collected ourselves.Girls likeme, aboutlearn themselves through their resemblance in encounterwithnotwastheskilled I enough Queen Caria. of to delve further down.Under the scorching heat,the in middle ofnowhere, civilizationa was didn’ttrembleI thoughtat life?finality of of According to the interview with happiness was anemotion that was one of many and Imust be thankful. discoveringonlyoflove.dream can melike girlsthese,siteslike Because we Belaand that’s what lovedI the most. Nothing was defined in city,this unlike upside turned had civilizations God the of wasn’t part I thankful that was I e hl, ah rvc o is od naig h proa sae ws way was I space personal the invading fold its of crevice each whole, me man who promises loyalty than aman who promises adventures. monsoonin findingwithhopes trueas forbizarre the coins. But ideaas was holes, with some — shards pottery the up picked I probablymounds.most into this narrative, but my heart says there’s a connection with the Greeks and his and city veryforgetAlexanderthisthroughnot with marchingcould I echoingKaria. constantly it’s because karrhyo word the register to failed I ho?” [do you believe in this?] und pie on o cud’ cmli o a rkn er. e pottery Red heart. broken a of couldn’t complain I so down upside turned too cautious of. I let my heart sink and knees tremble and discoveredthat and tremble knees and sink heart my let I of. cautious too swallowingmoundthefeared I dissolvedandhad happinessthe there until their child’s eyes. We make a home, not adventures. These places, they won’t let the old gentleman, the word the value systems we carried from birth. If this city had indeed been met with places that are big and empty and echo are not safe for girls like me. I like stayed safe girls me. I are echo not for and empty andbigplaces that are shards here complained of an existence long forgotten, traces of people traces forgotten, long existence an of complained here shards nte wt bak ein ad fw eiicne o prs f esl. I vessels. of parts of reminiscences few a and designs black with another city turnedover.thiswhohad angerthe Pir of mind wasn’t But my satisfied, because we know their intentions are ill and it’s better to make a home with a backto visit and catch overup ofcup a tea to discussshard a they discovered us be safe, people won’t look into our eyes when they speak, they won’t call us Towards the end of the interview, the young lady asked I sat there with the sinking realization that this was an abandoned site. That landscape, the in bulges of series a noticed and mound the atop stood I Until my lips uttered Alhumdulillah leaving me with something to think about. karrhyo supposedly refers to boiling milk, like the and I was met with another morning. — “Kia aaplog mantay

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 19 ¿Desde cuándo una Flor llamó a veinte? ¿Qué caliente los rayos de Dios hoy? Antes de darse cuenta Viento, oun tope de puerta. Trata de discutir el clima: De pie detrás de ellos. De que alguien estaba Néctar de latarde Ella rió el viento mientras él bebió el Frunce el ceño cortésmente, En lasFlores ti cantan ymialmaen ellas En el ti nombre tararea (¡cucú!) Inspector de las Flores. Picaflor (¡Picaflor!) Por el niño llamado En el umbral ella observa Flor se mantiene abierta por el La boca de una niñallamada Sonidos otoñales. Ella espera BENJAMIN RADCLIFFE Cempasúchil “In you the flowers sing andmy soul in them “In you the name hums (Cuckoo!)” The mouth of agirl called

wind, or adoor stopper. On the threshold she observes evening nectar Flower inspector. Hummingbird! (Peekaboo!) Flower iskept open by the She laughs wind while he drinks the Since when did we start calling one Flower twenty? frowns politely, for the boy called tries to discuss the weather: standing behind them. someone is aren’t God’s rays hot today?” autumnal sounds. She waits before they realize Twenty Petals and aDesperate Song English translation of Cempasúchil

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 21 hold court countdown of distinction of responsibility one or both hands grasping hold one’s peace II HOLD THELINE HOLD WHO GOES THERE I. to strike repeatedly to separate seed from (a harvested plant) mechanically to be able to consume easily to resist the offensive advance of to cover with to keep from falling on hold to enclose prevent from some action a sudden motionless posture at the end of adance . Hold a nonphysical bond by which something isaffected the interior of aship Thresh BENJAMIN RADCLIFFE to think inaparticular way hold acandle to prison Border

to have aposition hold water a delay ina to have asamark to And who they belonged to and then the meaning A level above which something istrue or will take place and below which it The muted sound of rubber rolling over stones The The plank, stone, or piece timberof that lies under a door The point at which a physiological or psychological effect begins to be The place or point of entering or beginning

To have ahigh El diente de león, el cempasúchil. Does not comfort her. Of the word thresh-hold. low threshold for Lion’s teeth. By Like it was trussed upby afalcon’s talons, held overhead He finds a document and blows her out. Had brought abook. Like her father, she wishes she IV. is not or will not III. She thinks about allthe different gods that had to name these things She looks out at the black sky She struggles to hold the candle. produced saguaros Coyote Threshold Border smells. , the extinguished

cirios.

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 23 The way to lose him wrongly: remember hisdismissal like

you sap, driven and well-sprung, tapped, you was ever needed you (no what water weaned (though floating echo of birdsong out of sight you over pines or screened dialect Imight have earned? You words called axes, returning In my mouth the words are first then to highways the mean dartmeant for me it was. that you, arriving through old growth. Is a gag, amemory of fur. Then, un-grieving daughters? ELEGY WITHPINE NUTS INITS MOUTH you th no light unbraided by astone) already you unsalt gray asbone ? And where have you been, DANIELLE PIERATTI When they age and finally That he conjured cookie wrappers; sometimes drove brown. woody leaf, with shells open, two firm, oblong dry and flay hoodblessed months to mature Italian Stone recklessly; the seriousness of swan dives. inherit hunger thought from under each to six inches long. to fast your eyes pinecones take 36 streaked powdery seeds loosen and cangrow thought some and floating ballooning taut overpass and sky) (between graffiti’d might have seemed out of sight you without achild- might have seemed)

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 25 And sometimes These a child

with her fingers or gather can easily open with asmall, flat eyes always lowered her smile of allIremember the tiny of Priscilla Iremember most guide inher gray habit gold and translucent liquid voice ineight her skin like gold marble her lesson inrestraint. I remember the Catacombs recess. Forgetting as testament. Manifesto inten syllables for nature: my school skirt after rock and eat. Sometimes from piles too hard, learns the seed yields, deeper and the echo of her slow a vexing she wields the rock and visibly sour. along roadsides and break shake or pick out but for the grace of God Adam and Eve \also were tempted \returning What form becomes anelegy for him:asleeve, delivering

were my father \Ipocket \the shells \ 6,000 years \magpies spread them \Romans God(s) \Chicomecoatl \and Dionysus cultures \Masonic lodges \crop circles \ oh how Ilonged to hold it of chalk on asidewalk and of the Virgin Mary made of voice Iwanted his staff topped \with a pinecone \ her gentle wand languages through tunnels Egyptian \Hindu \and Assyrian its hand, turned wrong-side-out. in the first-ever portrait fountain then too \close for meaning from aroadside \we walked \remember fountain \Temple of Isis \Ancient Rome \ for miles how it was the kind then \without you to \the treed city \ where you three stories \the Vatican \the Pope \ tapping the image of Jesus to chew on and how planted \and Ottomans \and Cezanne \ and with snakes \iconography \various all \with pinecones \“The Pigna” a sound like the perfect give bus routes \leaving \photograph the \

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 27 GLORIANA GILL AWARD GLORIANA GILL AWARD

The Supernatural Photography Psychological Spaces Charcoal OMAR TAWEH

ISABELLA SARACENI LONG RIVER ART AWARD

(In)Complete Pen and Ink

LAUREN VALLEDOR

The Young Sufferer Mixed Media

JOHNNY KOEKEE “Reading.” “Reading.” Wednesday mornings are steam and oil, cigarette smoke and other unpleasant unpleasant other and smoke cigarette oil, and steam are mornings Wednesday 34th street at exactly 7:57 7:57 exactly at street 34th or Thursdays or any other day except Sundays. Sundays. except day any other or or Thursdays other end of Abby’s leash is secure and still wrapped around her hand. her hand. around wrapped still and secure is end ofother Abby’s leash thelike bumpy satisfying and raised back, its into be pressed wordevery will doing?” doing?” Either the eucalyptus is interesting to her, should Elle stop interesting is too, or she thinks Either the eucalyptus paper, the from hand a he/shefrom lifts when that tell two, and can She handwriting, messy intensity. similar a with eucalyptus like smells and intensely tight. zipped is andpurple, puffy is which her jacket, that and following, is candles. Christmas and tea matcha times.” times.” and confident and young is that voice a with explains man eucalyptus the you are “What asks, and writer ferocious the of direction the towards turns he/shehas one, that; paper the against pen his/her of scribble incessant the from train the boards and car, train the and platform the between crack the steady. “I’m a quarter of the way in and she’s already used ‘smirk’ seventeen seventeen ‘smirk’ used already she’s and in way the of quarter a “I’m steady. platforms. Metro the line that strips which smells, is to no from say that Wednesdays different are really Tuesdays being so nosy. so being ever eucalyptus. rarely are they that say to is which smells, unpleasant that sit bumpy on strips the edge of over the Metro’s carefully steps platforms, “Isn’t everything?” he replies. he replies. everything?” “Isn’t asks. Elle it romance?” “Is words,” same the uses author the times many how of tallies keeping “I’m “And her legs,air. Elle presses. Abby and Against the writing?” sniffs shifts Wednesday mornings are steam and oil, cigarette smoke and other other and smoke cigarette oil, and steam are mornings Wednesday The person sitting in the seat next to Elle is writing something very something writing is Elle to next seat the in sitting person The He/she turns about to be a he, and a he that replies right away, at that, that, at away, right replies that he a and he, a be to about turns He/she Elle wants to touch that paper. She straightens her sunglasses on her face, But is Wednesday, today the ofthe pads across her runs so and fingers Elle and omelettes fried freshly are Sundays Sundays. on work doesn’t Elle He tells her the title and returns to scribbling. Elle checks to the checks Elle sure make to scribbling. He her tells and the returns title it called?” for amoment. “What’s this considers Elle CASSANDRA QUAYSON am Eucalyptus , only pausing to make sure that her dog, Abby,dog, her that sure make to pausing only , Abby shifts. Abby shifts. Abby at the board train like 7:57 Elle a.m. does again, every day except Sunday. your coat.” your coat.” her at tickles familiar something and her beside down sits someone when it again. reads and tea with claiming sunny weather and high temperatures. temperatures. high and weather sunny claiming aren’t that things other and cinnamon and gingerbread of smell that candles eucalyptus says, says, eucalyptus eucalyptus. eucalyptus. eucalyptus. downloads the audiobook and listens to it as she makes herself dinner. The The dinner. herself makes she as it to listens and audiobook the downloads day, and and there whopress are their pens no smell strangers like eucalyptus hears him hears fidget, feelshis seat move hers. Finally,against hesays, “I remember Brooklyn, in spots best the from pizza thin-crust or pavement, hot the hits months combined into one — and then the person begins to scribble. scribble. to begins person the then one —and into combined months nose. of aroma the say, like, head one’s in stick would that thing of kind the it’s Sheall. atherself else tells if nothing this, likejacket purple remember a puffy honey way pours. the novel of romance titles names Sunday, she lights a candle that smells like Christmas and has an omelette omelette an has and Christmas like smells that candle a lights she Sunday, She goes to work the next and goes back home again and does the thing same the book. It’s the worst thing she’s ever read and she thinks she loves it. On On it. loves she thinks she and read ever she’s thing worst the It’s book. the the train from 34th street with Abby. She’s sweating in her jacket, which which jacket, her in sweating She’s Abby. with street 34th from train the her. distract to paper the into hard too author is fond of the word “smirk,” among many others. others. fond many is author word among of the “smirk,” and says, “Did you sit next to me on the train on December 22nd?” Beside her, her, Beside 22nd?” December on train the on me to next sit you “Did says, and reports all ignoring decidedly resolve, with morning this on tugged she’d would I thinks, She purple. and puffy is which jacket, winter her wears still paper. pen on like York New into press streets snow that city “Well,” Elle agrees. agrees. “Well,” Elle me.” is “Well, this “I’m blind,” she blurts, as if this is an explanation. It is, of sorts. of sorts. It is, explanation. an is this if as she“I’m blind,” blurts, At 8:02, the train shudders its way into a stop. The man who smells like like smells who man The stop. a into way its shudders train the 8:02, At A moment passes — a long moment that feels to Elle like all the winter winter the all like Elle to feels that moment long a — passes moment A ht ih, fe se es f te ri ad ae hr a hm, Elle way home, her makes and train the off gets she after night, That The byiswarmer theweather fartime March comes to aand close, yetElle Today it’s Wednesday, 7:57 a.m. on an almost April day when Elle boards boards Elle when day April almost an on a.m. Wednesday,Todayit’s7:57 January passes slowly, passes January like a voice that is andconfidentandsteady says the December leaves, and with it Elle’s collection of Christmas-themed Christmas-themed of collection Elle’s it with and leaves, December On Monday, she wears her jacket, which is puffy and purple, and she and and she and purple, and puffy is which jacket, her Monday,wears On she It only takes her two more train rides, from 34th street and back, to finish finish to back, and street 34th from rides, more train hertwo takes Itonly For a second there’s no response — at least, not from a mouth. But she she But mouth. a from not least, at — response no there’s second a For is face person’s other the like seems it where towards face her angles Elle of heaps with except way, same the much in goes and comes February She’s trying to recall other good aromas, like the air before summer rain rain summer before air the like aromas, good other recall to trying She’s anyway. Somehow, she’s distracted

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 33 other things, too. Things like eucalyptus. eucalyptus. like Things too. things, other list. reading a just than more offering needs a thesaurus. Instead, she shrugs. “It was terrible.” terrible.” was “It she shrugs. Instead, athesaurus. needs She tries her hardest to give the words weight, to make sure he knows she’s knows he sure make to weight, words the give to hardest her tries She that book?” book?” that programmed into Elle’s phone under the name Sam. Sam. phone Elle’s name the into under programmed and oil, cigarette smoke and other unpleasant smells. Butsmokesmells. andslowly they unpleasant otherbecome and oil, cigarette definitely most author its though even bad, so was it though even straight understanding. —in stupidly “Is it romance?” He replies, and because of this she knows he understands. he understands. she knows of this because and He replies, it romance?” “Is offers. Elle better,” something you recommend can I want, you if “Well, read you Then, “did explanation. an is this if As replies. he poetry,” write “I And this time, when he leaves the train he leaves a number, too, too, number, a steam leaves still are mornings he Elle’s and summer, then and comes, train spring And the leaves he when time, this And This is one scent that reaches into Sunday. reaches that scentis one This — nodding he’s thinks she where silence, of moment another There’s Of Of course, Elle to wants say. She read that book every day for months three Elle grins. “Isn’t everything?” everything?” “Isn’t grins. Elle the in world.”sentences aren’tbeautiful enough just “There He agrees. The gardener hears Her in the dark hours dark the in Her hears gardener The

Transubstantiation, Resurrection with wrinkled skirts wrinkled with On the other days I am Paul, Iam days other the On Mary, TuesdaysOn Iam of morning, he mistakes my long hair for holiness my long hair he mistakes of morning, lest another rock get caught between Her teeth. between caught get rock another lest sunlight to corpses holding resonates from behind the rocks, but rocks, the behind from resonates tombs her into I would take Mary, with anight spend Icould If around wrapped my legs I keep sweat. when Ismell cry I only The in I hide and holdthings Tombonto Sodom and Deborah. and Sodom the man who had been inside (of bled out Her) inside been has who had man the marijuana: and of frankincense smelled that Magdalene the churches, the in silent be Her to Itell myto lips, (of horses) stomachs the Magdalene the and Her lost clothes for angel wings. for clothes angel Her lost and smoke when She passes and vagina. bruised and by his hands and feet. and hands by his sky. hear they until and my hands into cut they until Mary, the Magdalene MATHIESON BYER

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 35 And the stunned Adam stunned the And pain causing A virus Adam in dwelling And nowhere from appearing A virus The invisible virus invisible The leaves the Garden of Eden Garden the leaves blood his through Coursing of Eden Garden of the terrace on the Crushing his loins, his Crushing Leaves on his own on his Leaves for the bitter earth of labor of earth for bitter the APOCRYPHA J. KATES Wulf and Eadwacer/Daylight IsOur Evidence

What surfaces? A sacrifice of words People his life to me is worth more than my own People he was a gift he threw his body into it A grace-gift They will eat him alive Touch violence become it I'm nothing like you Wolf became one island I the other now dirty water surrounds us shallow rivers run fast a deep pool dammed what's slain at bottom They want islands They damned us Touch violence become it I'm nothing like you My Wolf hit

the road I suffered my beliefs then it was rainy weather I shrieked and KERRY CARNAHAN hid When that pervert called me out ready to fight our embrace a tree engulfed in flames I spoke truth it felt right to burn I hated it Wolf my Wolf your wet tail between your legs got that? my song is sick for you starved for ideas And you now Watch me! Divider of nights our cruel quick thing drags itself to the woods It's easily torn that which never healed The riddle of we two as one

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 37 Of the fact this night will end You may hear nothing all night this night in which fractured speech O gently gently something cries but is overcome Alert in the night to movement and scent I scent myself with jasmine to smell myself coming I will hunt myself here I weep in rainy weather drag myself from the woods like those hunters who dragged the limp doe out by her neck I heard a child in the woods shivering at the touch and wind and rain and a shallow river You may hear nothing all night If you say blood and really mean it all that cheapness shuts up you don't hear it stop but for a moment it stops See the trees come to light white and terrible See the blank face I face now in the mirror There is a tyrant in full dress in a windowless room the tyrant of our time cannot precisely be named don't look it in the eye I smell a whip You may hear nothing all night like a hunted animal and still feel yourself pursued

How many dimensions to that rain drops on tin roof slow hiss of steam green You Benedict Arnold, you cunt taunts one bird yadda yadda yadda says the other The rock and hard place of that rain was being on each others' tongues unsayable You took my body you claimed your divide mixed that stuff with oil or water and pressed me a kind of crayon that blackened out our eyes Look at all this black in bloom we laughed fools at bottom of a black river We slide through the silver marshes sun pale edged in clouds I myself vacant all eyes like a child to go to you now could be wise my friend you could loosen and be wise so I took a chance at the wrong stop and we came running as if no history prevailed upon us to restrain ourselves Medallion sun when we finished speaking Then silence of regard for one another's loneliness You never know who you brush past who you'll lose down that long lit corridor of night

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 39 I walked to the river as the sun went gold the late sun shining overhead I walked past the corn growing tall to my right yes I know the seed is impure Placing one foot in front of the other I made way down that poorly hidden path marked private I crossed the tracks under forest cover hung my scarf on a branch I stepped down into that cold flow Nothing forbade me I met no one nothing except those clouds of biting insects who would part as I passed smelling something exceptional some dangerous brightness My blood ran with you still you who made me inedible I waded freely into dark water I bent and dropped my head to the current light rippling over the boulders What can I say about this that is true? What can I tell about you river of bliss except I knelt in cold water and let you drain from me and I had no choice in the matter yet even in that There is only some truth or how well you tell it in this place still hung with wild grapes

Go to the window wait for day if he has no window please look here What admits huge light by day admits a dying by night we're reconfigured If you're imprisoned your window not a window breathe your bright burning breath into your open hands But he is not glass he's burning matter Breathe burning on burning think breath on black glass You in that black What's the shape of your pain? What admits huge evidence of a world? Hello I shouted but she couldn't hear it how the wind shakes a tarpaulin is violent in trees She had no evidence the earth spins the moon hangs that even in the most colorless night the moon is shedding such evidence That so much brightness we can't see She was sick without window she may die alone You rested your hand then I was alone When night traps you alone remember what I said there's so much brightness you can't see I see it in our hands Go to the window wait for day Daylight is our evidence

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 41 Black wick me he is what flickers His medicinal grace my desire They'll serve his head on a plate if he meets the hunt our bodies torn apart Wolf you are I am that striking grasp of opposites Islands blood-rich Islands worth our lives His head on a plate if he meets the hunt our bodies torn apart Wolf-eyed my wanderings my dreaming it dogged me Again? Rainy weather and I wept and rested When the untranslatable I fought my way out some meaning was won some joy yet even that brought me grief Wolf my Wolf I lacked for no meat it was my pining for you sickened me your intermittance soaked my heart hear me out And you! Vigilance committee! You all watching your property your itchy trigger finger why must our young endure such cruelty? That man easily destroys what never was in union Our song together

Crimson drops in the snow my skin a blotched mirror I wept you Wolf you slunk away with no tracks just a shadow a thickening I am tired of weeping Coyotes here they say are part wolf they beat air draw arcs of migration with leashless hands baring teeth to represent violent interbreeding So a taste of catastrophe plays itself out don't piss on my leg and call it rainy weather You a wound bit and licked yourself Now you say I broke you Your broken body I once swept to shore so powerful my passion and patience Your mind exhausted by pain I held tight I twisted fingers in your fur grasped your scales gritted teeth when you burned me no matter I didn't let go Wolf my Wolf I believed it I bore it are you a wolf am I what a wolf fears Wolf my Wolf down on all fours I cry out: you are too close to see what you are breaking The shadow of no wolf lengthens across snow

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 43 Underside Photography

JACOB McGINNIS

Drowning in a Sea of Aid Photography

OMAR TAWEH Sleep Photography

JACOB McGINNIS

Starstruck Obsession Markers

KA YING (ANGELA) KWOK the original text of “Wulf and Eadwacer" in translation effectively silence silence the voice?female speaker’s it’s As a outeffectively to translator, hard figure yourrole in translation in Eadwacer" and “Wulf of text original the altering does raises translation: it in freedom – about silent questions pressing are particularly poetry English old in women most since i.e., a female in voice– written poems medieval only the of one is Eadwacer" and “Wulf since addition, In to readers. or friendlier to digest it easier to make pain its some dilute to not in important is it original language, traumatic the with working When way? of violence the redeem translation a that up Should mop to blood? task translator’s the it Is question: key a raises translation Kerry’s in blood. drenched poem is a it narrates, it that theevents to setting “Wulf and and Eadwacer" condensed have I is suffering. a in poemorderparaphrased to depicting create as consumedfullan of account as possible of the problem ethics ourdiscussion. by the violence. translation, and of violence, of From difficulties the the trauma, poem’s poetry, of contemporary representation of the aspects many on touching diverse, and ranging wide- was conversation our said; we everything of transcript direct a not is account My below. report I which on Eadwacer", and “Wulf translating enigmatic are about conversation for this a me We join Review. to agreed River kindly Kerry Long to that fortunate the also in political, it publish to and lucky very formal are we poem; both version perspectives, new extraordinary Carnahan’s brings Kerry Capildeo. Vahni and Muldoon, and “Wulf Eadwacer", O’Donoghue, Paul Fiona translated including Bernard Sampson, has poets distinguished of host a years, recent In loss. and fear, trauma, about poem a is It endures. she violence of threat the lovesand she those from separation her describes woman a which in poem mourning a is it manuscript, same the in appears which Lament, Wife’s the like voice; woman’s a in written poems English Old few the of one is “Wulf Eadwacer" and interpret. to difficult notoriously is that the Book, in Exeter copy single 10th-century a in found poem, English Old eponymous an poems translate The Eadwacer". and “Wulf titled poems of series her for award the received Carnahan, Kerry Prize, Stevens the Wallace of winner year’s This or how it” tell youwell truth some is only “There Carnahan Kerry with A Conversation A Conversation with Kerry Carnahan — Kerry Carnahan, “Wulf and Eadwacer.” and “Wulf Carnahan, —Kerry SIOBHAN DALE

distance herself from her draft in order to revise as an objective observer. observer. objective an as revise to order in draft her from herself distance to had Kerry poems, the drafting of intensity the After segments. seven to included as many as thirty sections, but in revision she cut the work the down She poem. draft that the revealed first translating while process creative violence. to exposure continued of result a as become might she what and done, has who to she question what is, sheit forces the translator language; traumatic with working of artifact an is uncertainty That entirely? role another play she did Or landscape? the of part A witness? A wolf? a she Was poem. the can only take you so far. you far. so take only can things beautiful of seeds the Planting something gardening. like pastimes, undergo pleasurable you or “truth” like If ideas abstract about book objects. a read to want won’t you beautiful horrific, beautiful at about looking reading by or simply experiences aroused not is Kerry, tell I Empathy, readers. in empathy create can that voice unique and distinctive a forge to the world of — art its conventions and forms, its and stories ideas — in order by is poets The a “body”constructed its body own that destruction. plunders in traffics that body isfilms a bysnuff constructed “body” The creates. artist an that work of body the also By but body, human the construction. only not body’s mean I the body on focuses poetry My children. and of womenbodies the always, not but usually, body– the of destruction the depict pornography,” “torture as known commonly films, These films. faux-snuff of In in investment mythe trauma? translation poetry, I tell her, I work with trauma. suffering, pain, unrepresentable: the representing to suited uniquely is poetry result, a As senses. their with way; visceral a in they consolation feel text, notabout readers it a and only in bodies traumatic their think as well as trauma recreate to poets allows engagement sensory This language). its of rhythm and sound (the form its in and mean) words its (what poem the of content the in both levels, two on senses the engages that writing of mode distinctive a is Poetry readers. in on change relies each the other empathy; to does so too produce affective language, a has trauma as Just view. of point person’s another of adoption learned a is it performative; is empathy.Empathy creating thereby readers, to experience traumatic lived the translates poetry in experience traumatic a of the language the end Recasting to violence. capacity recontextualizing by the cycle traumatic has Poetry into sounds. it new sights, transforming new violence, words, new fragments It re-naming. system a and is re-coding language of Traumatic claim. her with agree I writing, own my cycle. traumatic the to break has language traumatic but counter-intuitive writing It sounds readers. re-traumatizes it that way a such in delivered be it should neither care but and mediated, or compromised be shouldn’t violence delicacy its translator: demands its from Eadwacer" and “Wulf like poem traumatic A I asked Kerry how the violence in “Wulf and Eadwacer" affected her affected Eadwacer" and “Wulf in violence the how Kerry asked I As we discuss our work, Kerry and I realize that “Wulf and Eadwacer" Eadwacer" and “Wulf that realize I and Kerry work, our discuss we As is myWhat me asks about myKerry language. own work traumatic with in trauma with works who poet a as and work Kerry’s of reader a As

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 49 by claiming it for white nationalism, a terrible distortion of the medieval medieval her In Kerry describes the to contrast, relationship original. Instead the of original. distortion terrible a nationalism, white for it claiming by me, tells Kerry Similarly, suffering. of some “Wulf and recent haveEadwacer" translations viewer exploited its violence and a pain empathy character’s a the for feel disrupt might to work actively deploy camera they The tortured. techniques being beyond story a are have films rarely these in and named never women the careless; are films faux-snuff instance, For mind. in principle ethical this to counter-examples have I and Kerry Both violence,of consequences the the suffering andunderstand pain it of viewers creates, and the acts readers sheer sure with human cost Make of trauma. violence. dealing when caution extreme with proceed follow: should everyone standard one is there but rules, of set different a has trauma with experience. traumatic of exploitation the is say, I ended, be howmatter are write; youwell nevertotrauma. you end going Itviolence and never are doesn’t going to trauma disappear. Granted, to fail. effortsto represent, compensate for,and recast, aretraumare-create doomed our that say.I think to don’t I like optimist, I’m an also: But past. the in and violencethe in offor evercould world the compensate immensity no writer and violence be cannot only about the payment of debt. The debtis too great; adebt repaid? such ever be How can released. was film faux-snuff a after herself killed who actress the about think I filming. while the endured they violence from recovering hospitals in months spent cut, who scenes have their to begged who films some in actresses the about think I destroyed. and tortured bodies their films, faux-snuff in watched I repay, women the to finally who in silence. have and endured trauma history throughout her, inspired have who writers women the to but poem, the in voices the to just not repay, to debt text. a has she original feels the Kerry of characteristic ruptures traumatic the recreate to way initial the during stayed aswas;wasn’t it there an objective fragmentation emerged The stage. drafting had that fragmentation linguistic the she change until to attempt didn’t revise she Crucially, to work. her for eye waited objective an She had she felt project. the from bursts, breaks short in frequent wrote taking she that and Eadwacer", and “Wulf translated she when alone was she that me tells Kerry produce. can that material of distress kind this emotional extreme the with coping for rules of set different exploitative? is that away in violence the repeat simply not workdoes own our in dowe what that sure faux-snuffof case the In even is an “art” films, appropriate wordto art? use about them? of How do wekind make this with cope poets as we do How the We ends that and “Wulf may both Eadwacer" pornography. think be early torture and begins violence which and spaces and temporal place geographic in which women findthemselves. in violence, depict by texts permeated Both women. worlds oppress to used been stories have are that Both women about similarities. of set revealing a share films faux-snuff and As Kerry and I talk, however, I realize that writing poetry about trauma trauma about poetry writing that however, realize I talk, I and Kerry As a has experience traumatic about intensely writes who Everyone I tell Kerry. I think about all the women and young girls whose rapes rapes whose women the young girls and all about Kerry. I tell I think Everyone working working Everyone We all have debts to We debts have all But what can can what But own. I would rather not admit to the pain these films have caused me. caused have films these pain the to admit not rather would I own. poem. the permeates that pain the understanding to us opens that on violence dialogue a begin to she wants her own as poem the of claiming one another. another. one emerge never can with openly and trauma honestly talk about it can write and who about those speak until dialogue full a that realize me made has endure sometimes perform women other watched Ijust life. for Iwasn’t my tortured. crying ways, many Say: I’m nothing like you...you are too close to see what you are breaking. you...you I’m are like you breaking. close are tosee what Say: too nothing them. to day. present Speak the in poems perpetrators those to Look woods. those Kerry’s work? violent a create Look to and in answer the fragments. men in those rooms. Look to the wolves acts in violent witness to have yourself you violence about write to order in that fact the with cope wedo blood. that by touched you’restill but room, You sets. as or serve out find that way your ofthat outcan landscape ofthat abattoirs blood-drenched to underground, and inside viewer the take films undertake. should artists all something violence, of critique the enable can violence” to “witness a whichbeing in ways the me shown has poems your reading and you with talking But women. against violence extreme witnessing of effects destructive traumatic their the diluted trivialized only It power. me on effect no had films the of violence the that difficult. work been I’mnotanymore. goingthinkI that tohas about pretending lie in beauty even and me. I her: tell changed has grace, poems Kerry’s Reading blood-scape. that precision, detail, with infused person. is to language person Her directly, witnessed unmediated, seems Eadwacer" and “Wulf in trauma The experiences. translated are these that sense no there’s poems Kerry’s reading When trauma. with cautiously deal that Kerry’s like were you conveying. what this call out to I me. Even though didn’texactly the words, I knew understand fully There is no part of the pain in faux-snuff films that I want to claim as my claim want to thatI films faux-snuff in the pain of is Therepart no “Wulf and Eadwacer" covers a landscape consumed by blood. Faux-snuff blood. by consumed landscape a covers Eadwacer" and “Wulf I tell Kerry, tell I When I read your poems for the first time, I tell Kerry, there was was there Kerry, tell I time, first the for poems your read I When — that suffering. that I feel like it’s irrelevant. I wasn’t bound and gagged and and gagged and Iwasn’t bound I feel it’s like irrelevant. It is inspiring and in part healing to witness works witness to healing part in and inspiring It is

This conversation with Kerry, however, Kerry, with conversation This Touch violence become it. it. Touch become violence My own own My — How How and and In In

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 51 Thatwas whattheremembered Greta about most her when her motherwas without much urgency because the dull hum was part of her personalized personalized her of part was hum dull the because urgency much without see could Greta she. was so and tough were Bruises it. to clung she while summer. Greta’stenth ruin to desperate tyrant acontrolling was the snatched and her scolded mother Greta’s grasp. her from removed was vigorously and felt a breath of wind caress her hair. She was pondering when pondering own their of was one as her She accept would hair. fairies moonlight her the whether caress wind of breath a felt and vigorously Greta grew up with the grass and the roots, with the grasshoppers and the the and grasshoppers the with roots, the and grass the with up grew Greta elixirs with unknown purposes. On a kind of day marked by honeysuckle honeysuckle by marked day of kind a On purposes. unknown with elixirs gone. She imagined her mother as a figure waving to her from the shore, the from her to waving figure a as mother her imagined She gone. etnto. t a Geas o, h fl a se upd e lg more legs her pumped she as felt she too, Greta’s was It destination. up, up, pirouetting evening, the of softness the in dancing fairies, delicate She silhouette. distant a not was mother her day, that But sea. disarming hers again. Her mother wouldn’t call Greta to come wash up for bed for bed for up wash come to Greta call wouldn’t mother Her again. hers away it swatted she and rope, the to tightly gripping not one the hand, emanating light the in glowing window, the brow in furrowed, mother her motion, and the obscured figure had vanished completely. Startled, Greta Greta Startled, completely. vanished had figure obscured the and motion, one on cradled phone house black matte the had she now but air, the into muted was interference the along which with sun, slowlywas disappearing eyes. gray and hair auburn of flash a all hand, daughter’s her from knife managed She birch. favorite her into heart crooked a etched the from and knife kitchen carving a stole Greta night, at fireflies and morning the in rm h atqe ap et o e. msut wie na Geas left Greta’s near whined mosquito A her. to next lamp antique the from to add her first initial in her sloppy, youthful hand before her instrument instrument her before hand sloppy, youthful her in initial first her add to and salves intricate concocting potions, divine mud her and into bark together and mix branches to finding hours spend could She trunks. tree a shadowy movement near her birch tree startled her. One more slight slight more One her. startled tree birch her near movement shadowy a at least. minutes twenty another was darkness gentle The smile. half a into up curled lips Greta’s shoulder. ascend repeatedly Greta watching still was mother Her orchestra. summer swing, the one that was slightly frayed. Her sullen rage at her mother’s earlier the to out floating ship, a on was Greta and eyes, gray and hair auburn all up to the stars. The slivered moon, guardian of all below, was their ultimate below, all ofultimate their was guardian The slivered moon, up to the stars. snap to rope worn the for wished secretly She horizon. remote the below As twilight crept forward, Greta was soaring through the air on the air her through rope soaring was Greta forward, crept twilight As If Greta squinted hard enough, the neighbors’ distant porch lights were lights porch distant neighbors’ the enough, hard squinted Greta If What Was Carved inthe Birch Tree ALYSSA GRIMALDI “I saw you playing here yesterday, you you and lonely.looked saw playing “I I’m lonely, Wetoo. was a figure crouched there, surreptitiously attempting to rest with what with rest to attempting surreptitiously there, crouched figure a was with the bitter mint toothpaste and washed them all down the drain. the down all them washed and toothpaste mint bitter the with Greta realized she was staring in a way that could be considered rude, so so rude, considered be could that way a in staring was she realized Greta with longer. Shestained T-shirt woreslightly a blondehair herdirty Greta, could be friends.” be could enchanting, but corrupt with insidious intentions. insidious with but corrupt enchanting, explore, thinking it was maybe the neighbor’s cat, when she saw a girl girl a saw she when cat, neighbor’s the maybe was it thinking explore, distressed breaths decorating it with fog. There was there. no one fog.was There it with decorating breaths distressed her, the other girl tentatively stepped out of the shadow of the shed, her shed, the of shadow the of out stepped tentatively girl other the her, area, the of detail every scrutinized she as But night. previous the it left thoughts disquieting the out spit She teeth. her brushing through halfway wondered she and concern, her longer no were lurkers Crepuscular her. not place where she previously encountered her, or if she really ever had. had. ever really she if or her, encountered previously she where place not in a about thegirl, few but places. familiar There could Greta wassomething noticing Greta saw she When remove. eventually would she saying kept didn’t She brain. sleepy her with form shadowy the conjured had she if offer to had day sunny the whatever confront to prepared was Greta nine, She supposed she could appear lonely to an outsider, but she had always always had she but outsider, an to lonely appear could she supposed She forth if someone as had dismounted, just but there no was to wind explain the dirt in her eagerness to remove herself from what was now a night not night nowa was what from remove herself to eagerness her in dirt the the movement. The wildflowers near the tree line looked trampled, as if as trampled, looked line tree the near wildflowers The movement. the erd hog te idw gi, e ns js tuhn te ls, her glass, the touching just nose her again, window the through peered paint of the shed before addressing the girl. the before shed of addressing the paint appeared to be their head against the bark. She swallowed, blinked, and and blinked, swallowed, She bark. the against head their be to appeared abruptly concluded her journey into the sky, scuffing her new Converse on she could not deny that a playmate might add something, might instill a instill might something, add might playmate a that deny not could she blue egg robin’s faded, peeling, the towards gaze her directed quickly she centered a on rainbow and werea her shorts white jean background, ripped mother Greta’s shed rotting the behind from emerge age own her about reluctantly to about was Greta hurry. a in over them stomped had someone and back swaying was swing rope Her peculiarities. some noticed she bumblebees. and daisies the among day another for door back the out scampered girl the as greeting brief a and smile half a out scribbled shopping list, in Sheletters. her scrawling offered messy Greta in her itself she the allow night’s until mind to previous dread was manifest birch in the backyard, adjacent to the rope swing tree. It looked like there like looked It tree. swing rope the to adjacent backyard, the in birch her see could She beneath. layer sheer the to curtains voile blush-colored been content creating and ruling her own secret worlds alone. Although, Although, alone. worlds secret own her ruling and creating content been than shorter slightly was girl The forward. edging slowly so ever feet bare “Hi. W-what“Hi. you here?” doing are After safely barricading herself in her bedroom, Greta pulled back the back pulled Greta bedroom, her in herself barricading safely After At first glance, Greta’s backyard wonderland was in the same state she state same the in was wonderland backyard Greta’s glance, first At hn rt’ hmigid lr cok hre is od onn at morning good its chirped clock alarm hummingbird Greta’s When The girl shyly lowered her gray eyes and began twirling a strand of hair. hair. of strand a twirling began and eyes gray her lowered shyly girl The Greta considered this comment, uttered in the girl’s soft, reserved voice. reserved soft, girl’s the in uttered comment, this considered Greta grocery a like looked what with preoccupied was mother Greta’s

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 53 when she touched the marble countertop in the kitchen that her mother mother her that kitchen the in countertop marble felt the Greta touched she sensation when same the evoking icy, startlingly and smooth so was girls the them, towards directed Greta air of breath vigorous the withhold both were they When closer. come to forMaeve gestured and shorts white fifth day they played together.played they day fifth expression of such woe that Greta wanted to embrace the girl. the embrace to wanted Greta woe that of such expression of activities, including racing each other through the edge of the woods, woods, the of edge the through other each racing including activities, of and strong once her of images conjured daisy the realizing blouse her on giggling and shrieking and leaping over tree stumps and branches. Greta Greta branches. and stumps tree over leaping and shrieking and giggling alongside knuckle her grazed accidentally she process, the In ear. girl’s guess.” delicate fairy houses out of dirt, twigs, and leaves. and twigs, out of dirt, houses fairy delicate like the feeling the discarded daisy gave like the daisy her.feeling the discarded In one movement, she shoveled more enchanting. She resolved to tell her mother about her new friend the the friend new her about mother her tell to resolved She enchanting. more Or night. the or night, next that.the She after night Maeve wanted to be her someway. in immortal friendship their and flower the both rendering ruin. to reduced life A bed. in a hospital grandmother magnificent coffee spilled almost window, she building office an out to staring daze, words a in the have not did Greta earth. scarred and dusty of grave a in day. every scrubbed meticulously skin Maeve’s shock. in daisy the dropped promptly and cheek, Maeve’s other the behind it positioned and flowers droopy less and vibrant more judge her peer outright and kept her further questions to herself. Instead, Instead, herself. to questions further her kept and outright peer her judge Somehow, having Maeve to herself made every day they spent together together spent they day every made herself to Maeve having Somehow, fresh perspective into her games. When Greta responded, it was in a tone a in was it responded, Greta When games. her into perspective fresh thought Maeve’s laughter was something like magic, probably akin to an an to akin probably magic, like something was laughter Maeve’s thought the of one took Greta decorated, sufficiently were houses the After them. suspicious. slightly only was that secret; the other girl was too special to be discussed over leftover meatloaf. overleftover meatloaf. discussed be to special too was girl other the secret; of mirth. display fairy’s actual ear, Maeve’s behind it jabbed stubbornly and dirt the of out daisy another later, but years her it what represented, of then, it what reminded articulate made she how demonstrating began Greta other, each from across sitting new her on stains grass potential any about caring not down, plopped she answered. began to gather daisies and gently place them in patches of dirt adjacent to to adjacent dirt of patches in them place gently and daisies gather to began “Around here. And no. They used to be. Now they’re kind of used to it I it to used of kind they’re Now be. to used They no. And here. “Around you’re“Around…where? that worried gone?” Aren’t your parents here.” around I’m from Maeveand is name “My you from?” are Where your name? “What’s When the architecture of the tiny structures was strong enough to to enough strong was structures tiny the of architecture the When h rs o te feno fud rt ad av epoig variety a exploring Maeve and Greta found afternoon the of rest The she before questions the ponder to seemed and lip her bit girl The rt fud av’ stain bt d, u se nw etr hn to than better knew she but odd, bit a situation Maeve’s found Greta But on that day, Greta had yet to experience death, and sheBut and didn’t onday, simply death, that yethad to Greta experience corpse wrinkled a daisy, crumpled the at sorrow in stared girls Both an had suddenly she and side, the to shifted eyes marble-like Maeve’s For didn’t her tell Greta mother that some about Maeve reason, at dinner Thatwas whereMaeve released Greta’shand,and picked something brightly voice felt feeblewhen and she strained yelped out an “I’m here!” after she felt wrong. was Greta was suddenly incredibly sleepy. She leaned against the closest tree, tree, closest the against leaned She sleepy. incredibly suddenly was Greta beaded colorful a as object the recognized and hand, her uncurled Greta The bit. one own her clutching Maeve’s of coldness the minding not Greta continued to insist on her departure. departure. her on insist to continued colored up from the ground. the upcolored from exhausted after a rousing game of hide and seek. Suddenly, a out seek. Maeve let and hide of game rousing a after exhausted of the policemen yell out to the others that the dog had found something. dog had the that others the out yell to policemen of the one heard she when embrace tight mother’s her in was She feet. her onto deep sigh and told Greta, “I wish I could stay here every day with you. I’veyou. with day every here stay could I wish “I Greta, told and sigh deep questioned her, asking her how she ended up at that spot in the woods, if if woods, the in spot that at up ended she how her asking her, questioned her new friend. She only thought about how they had taken the bracelet bracelet the taken had they how about thought only She friend. new her they how and policemen the about think often didn’t she after, long wrist, her over bracelet the inched carefully She shapes. flower and heart regal and solid in the glow hazy of the afternoon. later, Years when Greta’s When here. don’tbelong I go. to need I know I But fun. much so had never nice lady she had been there in the woods with Maeve, saying goodbye to to goodbye saying Maeve, with woods the in there been had she lady nice the told she when comprehension disturbed and of confusion a picture into Her there. been had she long how or was she where idea no had she name, clearing. small a reached they until bushes and brambles the through romp imaginary an just or there, never was Maeve her convince to tried mother Somewhere someone was waiting forher. waiting was someone Somewhere from her and how she overheard them speaking in hushed conversations conversations hushed in speaking them overheard she how and her from her mother knew and again day on that Maeve’s saw radiance Greta friend, the sun is setting, I will be going, but you can follow me part of the way.”the of part follow me can but be going, you will I setting, is sun the think about the way the brunette, soft-spoken woman’s face transformed transformed face woman’s soft-spoken brunette, the way the about think take her hands and help her stand. Greta recognized her mother and a few noise no making away,steps and pranced her hand, Greta’sofleft palm the their continued they and girls, two the for diverge to seemed almost trees police officers in the mix, and her mother was the one to finally aid Greta Greta aid finally to one the was mother her and mix, the in officers police someone had taken her there, if she could describe them. She didn’t even didn’t She them. describe could she if there, her taken had someone to attempting all eyes wide and pale faces their with people and around, all flashlights were there Immediately, leg. bare her nudging nose wet dog’s a fell asleep. promptly and daylight. the of left was what in beads the of hues vibrant the admiring knew. she only that dance elaborate some following movements her and bracelet, five of the beads spelling out the name “Maeve”, theout name thevarious five spelling others bracelet, theofbeads “I have gonow, to for“I is you.” but this As the sun was in its early stages of descent, Maeve stood up. She was was She up. stood Maeve descent, of stages early its in was sun the As When Greta thought about the days following her night in the woods woods the in night her following days the about thought Greta When When Greta woke up to the sounds of dogs and barking people yelling her On that fifth day, Greta and Maeve were leaning against the birch tree, tree, birch the against leaning were Maeve and day,Greta fifth that On Greta and Maeve held hands as they ventured into the forest together, together, forest the into ventured they as hands held Maeve and Greta No matter how much Greta begged and pleaded the other girl, Maeve girl, other the pleaded and begged Greta much how matter No Before Greta could sufficiently react, Maeve had folded the object into object the folded had Maeve react, sufficiently could Greta Before She had somewhere else tobe else somewhere had She , she said. said. she ,

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 55 was locked away now. Years later, Greta would find a newspaper clipping clipping newspaper a find would Greta later, now.Years away locked was when they thought she was sleeping. Theyabout talked howthey had found Greta would never forget, plastered on the front. Maeve held a teddy bear bear teddy a held Maeve front. the on plastered forget, never would Greta dreams. Theythetakecould fromdreams. bracelet her, butthey could neverthetake her own initial on the birch tree. birch on the initial her own her mother kept hidden a in Maeve’sunder herchest with bed face, the face had forbeen missing two months and how now at her least had family some memory ofmemory heror to playmate, the next sloppyfound Greta “M” in the heart more and more she until didn’t know for sure if it had everbut knew existed Girl’s Found.” Body “Kidnapped read, caption the and image, pixelated and faded the in had too, she, like almost dirt of patch a under away,nestled hidden Maeve fallen asleep somewhere out of reach. They talked about how the little girl little the how about talked They reach. of out somewhere asleep fallen that it didn’t quite matter. Maeve had existed, and still did, vivid in Greta’s in vivid did, still and existed, had Maeve matter. quite didn’t it that answers. They talked about how the man who had brought Maeve there Maeve brought had who man the how about talked They answers. As Greta grew older, the image of the colorful bracelet in her mind faded faded mind her in bracelet colorful the of image older, the grew Greta As e ee be o pa ad orsod ih oi vr mi. hl we While email. over Jodi with correspond and speak to able were We JODI PICOULT:JODI will help will you out figure where canon. Finally,you Ibelong in do the literary whoin university.writers are still Do youhave anytips or words ofwisdom so to meaningful so work her made has that something certain that with Small Great Things Great Small criticism, and that’s what workshop courses teach you. Also - A you. read. teach that’s ton. what and Itworkshop Also courses criticism, expected someone of her status to only be able to answer a few of our our of few a answer to able be only to status her of someone expected most generation’sher of one her making about, writes she tragedies the on including novels, twenty-five over questions, she answered every single one with clarity, attentiveness, and attentiveness, clarity, with one single every answered she questions, household name. Jodi Picoult is an award-winning author who has written written whoauthor has award-winning an is Picoult Jodi household name. Her newest book, book, newest Her a of short nothing is who person a for introduction an write to hard It’s not recommend self publishing. It’s the easy way - and faster than getting getting than faster and - way easy the It’s publishing. self recommend not get and give to on demand write to MFA an need but youlearn to need DO coming and up and unpublished towards geared is magazine our Firstly, many. for getting your work out there early in one’s writing career? in one’swriting early your workthere out for getting tackles controversial, sensitive or politically charged topics in her novels, her in topics charged politically or sensitive controversial, tackles publisher is behind your work. behind is publisher in Moreover, dues. your up… published notself putting giving as publishers writers. standout and prolific and tries to use her platform to shine light on voices that are so often often the of year. interview for so first our highlight to person perfect the are she was that voices on light shine to platform her use to tries and an agent (I myself had over 100 rejections) but it’s also seen by traditional traditional by seen also it’s but rejections) 100 over had myself (I agent an us. with speaking story and face human a put ableto is Picoult hostages. as inside those of all taking clinic, health reproductive a women’s in fire opens gunman a after unheard. This is why we, the team at the at team the we, why is This unheard. books don’t have the marketing heft that you can have if a traditional traditional a if have can you that heft marketing the have don’t books LAUREN ABLONDI OLIVO AND RYANAND AMATO:OLIVOABLONDI LAUREN An Interview with Jodi Picoult LAUREN ABLONDI OLIVO AND RYAN AMATO I recommend taking a workshop writing course. You course. don’t workshopwriting a taking recommend I . Picoult’s work is always pushing boundaries; she often often she boundaries; pushing always is work Picoult’s . A Spark of Light of A Spark , focuses on the ripple effect that occurs occurs that effect ripple the on focuses , My Sister’s Keeper Sister’s My Long River Review River Long Hi Jodi! Thanks so much for much so Thanks Jodi! Hi , Nineteen Minutes Nineteen , thought that that thought , and and

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 57 — rather hear than about it from a mouth. politician’s Thebook presents very hy r yu sses yu mm yu nx do niho, or teacher, your neighbor, door next your mom, your sisters, your are They JP: JP: JP: JP: you say your work is an initiator for important conversations or a vessel vessel a or conversations important for initiator an is work your say you who does not their own espouse beliefs. Ultimately, what I hope people take you look at women the the a decision to actual making pregnancy terminate readers your your book? from away you, take to want with views you similar who not share may do what importantly, more and novel, this write what are you currently reading right now? right reading you currently are what first place. It’s like a back door approach to wading through controversial controversial through wading to approach door back a like It’s place. first most the was feel you do what and — ending the or beginning the — first discuss is we all do Howcome care… day funded otoesa tpc ht fet or onr tdy Wa isie yu to you inspired What today. country our affects that topic controversial challenging part about writing this book? this writing about part challenging etc. I also wanted to point out that there are ways to reduce the abortion abortion the reduce to ways are there that out point to wanted also I etc. don’t like discussing — it’s somehow easier to talk about characters in a in characters about talk to easier somehow it’s — discussing like don’t likely see likely help spark conversations or do they help make those conversations easier easier conversations those make help they do or conversations spark help novel than to sit down and discuss racism, for example. But I also believe believe also I But example. for racism, discuss and down sit to than novel write did you What reverse! in written being book the despite interwoven, about talk never we but really) interests, best everyone’s in is (which rate rope. their of end the at are they and control, birth as abortion using not topics. forusin theto have aprovides springboard conversations those fiction that have?to is, do That happen? you conversations feel books which your those through federally child; and mother for care health universal wage; minimum the raise that laws control; birth accessible easily and free Forexample, those! when happens what about awareness raise to wanted really I reason that attitudes/etc. regardless of how you personally feel towards a topic. topic. a Would towards feel personally how of you regardless attitudes/etc. me! killed It nearly time. in Iwent backward as straight are evil, not are pregnancies terminate whowomen that is this from away and my hope was to make readers a take short in walk the shoes of someone before I wrote a single word. The most challenging thing was keeping it all all it keeping was thing challenging word.most The single a wrote I before pro-life, are who those and pro-choice are who those of examples balanced LAUREN AND RYAN: LAUREN AND RYAN: LAUREN AND RYAN: RYAN: AND LAUREN Both. I think that my books allow us to talk about difficult topics people topics that myabout us difficult I Both. allow to books think talk I believe that women’s reproductive rights are under attack and we will will and we attack under are rights women’s reproductive that believe I I wrote it exactly in the order you see it, but I had a 48 page outline outline page 48 a had I but it, see you order the in exactly it wrote I Roe vWade The characters andThe characters plot of All ofAll your books a feature ofvariety different opinions/ Random question we Random question of all are asking our interviewees: overturned, or attemptedat to beFor least overturned, overturned. Your newest book, book, newest Your Sak f Light, of Spark A A Spark of Light of A Spark Roe v. Wade are beautifully are beautifully oue o a on focuses , instead?! JP: JP: JP: JP: next project? What can we expect from you in the next year or two? year next the you in from we expect can What project? next that’s all I’m saying! all that’s LAUREN AND RYAN: A YA book called A YA called book In 2020, 2020, In Book of Two of Book Ways And And youfinally,iscantell us there anything about your Uprooted . . It’s about hospice, and Ancient Egypt, and and Egypt, Ancient and hospice, about It’s .

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 59 1945, gimbap had become distinctly Korean in flavor. in Korean distinctly become had gimbap 1945, The outer layer of rice and seaweed is chewy and salty, a sharp contrast to contrast sharp a salty, and chewy is seaweed and rice of layer outer The was in fact adapted from — Japanese norimaki, sushi rolls. It was called called was It rolls. sushi norimaki, Japanese — from adapted fact in was and sauces. Each manners component It’svarious act. is integral. a balancing Takeout Gourmet Anna’s between sandwiched lot, parking weed-choked China. By the time he returned he had lost all his toes to frostbite. to toes his all lost he had he returned time By the China. cheerful overall her about consensus in are I Tomand Auer, C.D., Gerardo tiny a behind tucked sits Pantry Oriental Haven, New in Street Orange On cucumber. It’s the perfect food, an artful combination of tastes and hues. hues. and tastes of combination artful an food, perfect the It’s cucumber. accompany could owner elderly ofthe Korean picture a and coziness, clean f pnc, re eg tis cro sies pcld akn aih and radish, daikon pickled slivers, carrot strips, egg fried spinach, of norimaki dicing, rolling, and slicing can occur on a miniscule scale, and many dishes dishes many and scale, miniscule a on occur can slicing and rolling, dicing, have more than ten ingredients cooked separately and then combined in in combined then and separately cooked ingredients ten than more have she like herself, the notfrom and does an ocean goods shipped all air-sealed NOT DO warn walls brick the to plastered signs The windowsill. the line meils, oe f hm ap. o eape m getgadahr a great-grandfather, my example, For happy. them of none imperialism, Korean tongues. Thesyllablesrolling broughtback the memories of Japanese a has interior the but letters, red bags foreboding in DRIVEWAY tea THE BLOCK of shelves and cats waving Perpetually awning. the on name few years ago when she came to Connecticut, and it might have tasted like like havetasted might it and Connecticut, to when she came ago fewyears to the sweet, crisp, highlighter-yellow radish. Good gimbap should be like like be should gimbap Good radish. highlighter-yellow crisp, sweet, the to ofthecucumber coolness of from the the explosion vegetables, misty bright forentry the “grandmotherly.”dictionary Google reviewers Ho Kyeong Jang, sun-baked car. Novocaine had brought winter to my tastebuds. my to tastebuds. winter brought had Novocaine car. sun-baked in a appointment, but aI dentist have after noI ate idea. it right springtime, a gimbap made grandmother, my Halmeoni, mouth. your in springtime to flee to forced was government, Korean the forworked had who scholar Chopping, merciless. and exhaustive, meticulous, is cooking Korean away. her name. Iknew wish Ireally sweetness. store’s the out spell letters gold Peeling house. three-story tattered a and Also during my grandmother’s visit, we went to the Korean grocery to to grocery Korean the to went we visit, grandmother’s my during Also The gimbap we buy has a seaweed exterior, a layer of rice, and a center center a and rice, of layer a exterior, seaweed a has buy we gimbap The Gimbap, which literally translates to “seaweed rice,” resembles — and and — resembles rice,” “seaweed to translates literally which Gimbap, buy we where is Pantry Oriental However, regardless of linguistics, by the time the Japanese withdrew in by withdrew the the time Japanese However,of linguistics, regardless , too, until the government burned every word not native from from native not word every burned government the until too, , FRANZISKA LEE Roots gimbap . The store owner makes it makes owner store The . ta ntoaim tf. Hlen, o, a cid hl wthn i, the it, watching while cried had too, Halmeoni, stuff.” nationalism “that — my grandfather, I think, or motherhood, or a country so alien from the the from alien so country a or motherhood, or think, I grandfather, my — We both would like to know that young Halmeoni and what had changed changed had what and Halmeoni young that know to like would Weboth while the other one while cooks other than buying me sparkly Bibles and new clothes. The other day she day other The clothes. new and Bibles sparkly me buying than other endless slideshow of shoeless empty-eyed children, hollowed-out women, hollowed-out children, empty-eyed shoeless of slideshow endless offeredto pay meto do her homework.theology thisnew I’m effort terrified each other, for that matter. I never learned Korean. other,each matter. for I never learned that grandmother. I didn’t ask. ask. Ididn’t grandmother. understand could she so enunciating been had I tennis.” of lots Play good. different from the quiet village she grew up in. in. up grew she village thequiet from different teens. her in phase” Buddhist a through “gone had Halmeoni discovered home she knew. Even if she went back to Korea, it would be unrecognizably and minutes five after Halmeoni with phone the on exasperated gets he months. She has a sudden interest in connecting with me through means means through me with connecting in interest sudden a has She months. mother she should get gimbap instructions from Halmeoni. “Too difficult,” difficult,” “Too Halmeoni. from instructions gimbap get should she mother reads he all and Sutra, Heart the to listens he subway the On Buddhism. act. abalancing It is inch. an give can neither and war, of tug a is Itone. of child a or immigrant Korean. and I English shemainly don’tspeaks want to be her second chance. I’d her and we’dthank exchange me better,and shesaid,“You speak very, very well. Youcould be newscaster.” after Worldrebirth 2, madeWar which mecry. video Itheto mentioned my on Korea’s documentary minute a me forty-five showing after immediately that once me told She soon. die to going she’s thinks Halmeoni because is new, as is me seeing my paternal grandparents paternal my seeing me is new,as I don’tonehow another — they understand recognized or what they to said courses theology takes and golf plays them of one Now world. another in family’s, is one of wearied affection and mild antipathy. Halmeoni Skypes Skypes Halmeoni antipathy. mild and affection wearied of one is family’s, to her,” important he “It’s said, really oncefather heand looked exasperated. then paces back and forth, and punches a wall. Because he speaks mainly mainly speaks he Because wall. a punches and forth, and back paces then apparently apparently knew the owner back in Korea. Theyhad goneto college together she said. I wasn’t sure if she was referring to the making of gimbap or my or gimbap of making the to referring was she if sure wasn’t I said. she he argument phone long a After philosopher-poets. monk of works the are an you’re if be, to have You unbudging. too fierce, too proud, too both are this She said spiritually. him she failed that hard, too my father shepushed because myor because at religious father Because is all. not Christian an Evangelical birthday. over next us the to are you? We are How pretty. so are you “Oh, year: a times four or three us men. uniformed buy shrimp crackers, Pocky sticks, and homemade dumplings. Halmeoni Halmeoni dumplings. homemade and sticks, Pocky crackers, shrimp buy The only thing my family agrees on is food. A while ago I told my I told ago while A food. is on agrees family my thing only The exists family immediate my and grandparents my between gap The In his early forties my father has become deeply interested in Zen Zen in interested deeply become has father my forties early his In They late. too is she says father My cold. too is father my says Halmeoni my of rest the extension, by and Halmeoni, to relationship father’s My Halmeoni wants me to learn the language, apparently. Her desire is is desire Her apparently. language, the learn to me wants Halmeoni bibimbap I love yous I love and dukbokki and goodbyes and would that tie twice for Yalehomesick students. in the span of twelve twelve of span the in

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 61 “Car” being the noun and “Rent” being the the being “Rent” and noun the being “Car” And in my father’s in And 1. What really matters now is ceremony: is now matters really What The maraschino cherry maraschino The actions twoseparate are These 3. 2. we first tied tongues around around tongues tied we first Cal-FORnia, Cal-FORnia God God converges with another dimension. This is God’sis This dimension. another converges with each with nouns and verbs their own. own. verbs their and nouns with each in your exotic Eastern American. Eastern your exotic in plate license me every Read I’ve never seen. musical terminal. airport an in favorite sentence. God’s favorite language: God’s language: sentence. favorite favorite Street Filbert Francisco’s where San from the colloquial slang of California. slang colloquial the “r’s”in your inflection the and I and you as by two separate people- separate by two raptures rinse row my hands at the sink. atthe my hands your boat on the on the your boat my Christian father my Christian rental rental Sea Change inEnglish , car. river SOPHIA BRUCE , 4. 4. Teach me again how two actions how two Teach me again Tell enunciate me to why it’s wrong 5. FOR walking straight up the steepest street of all of all street steepest up the straight walking converge. You crossroads: on a highway. Like Street Freaks of San Francisco meeting at a subsonic subsonic a at meeting Francisco San of Freaks Street Like highway. a on syllable each like you and me you and like and with no seatbelt. no seatbelt. with and and into the stratosphere. the into and lovers we ahighway. converge.and Like Like I and you I went ten miles above limit the you Iwent miles ten rinse my hands in that same same that in my hands row your boat on the on the your boat in your name separately. separately. your name in FOR you and fear of rapture. fear you and river river

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 63 You were, You are, My Older Brother. You were, You are, The Illumination Illumination The YouYouBrother. were, Olderare, My You You were,are, You are younger than I, but you are not little. little. areYou you not I,but than are younger When I was little, I’d watch you with your tiny black eyes; no, they’re not they’re no, eyes; black tiny your with you watch I’d little, was I When and The Creation The and of the unknown. unknown. the of will come after you would quiet you. You were on that swing when you when swing wrote me story whichyour youfinal that titled on were You you. quiet would you after that come stories will the how about screamed you loud; less stories italicized your and prelude the of magnitude the okay, was it you told I argue ourselves. all we with okay, was it you told I yourself. with argue to go you where to listening haven’tI but be crown paper a in to prance I as happy conspiracies star’s as the of youtalk just be I’d little. as me mistake longer no you but you than younger still I’m and passed have Years ignorance. for youth with your mind-clang any your longer.with mind-clang dayThat youwrote me sentence youfinal overcast eyes and yell at me for not being haunted by what came before came what by haunted being not for me at yell and eyes overcast not I’m if sleep really it's if wondering dreamless sleep I as Brevity my of on the train that you boarded that galvanized the unknown. You began began You unknown. the galvanized that boarded you that train the on dispelling your fear of your fear dispelling or an just absence of dreaming motion; is it sleep if it’s not rest? I quit killing terror; the grander of time must not make you feel small. We are the determinants We feel you are determinants the small. make not must time of grander the terror; letters look like they were leaning, like you had to catch them before they they before them catch to had you like leaning, were they like look letters mad but that you still love me in my paper crowns but couldn’t corrupt me corrupt couldn’t but crowns paper my love in me youstill that but mad End of Time and your hands shook because your noisy head made your veins fell and swallow them before they dissolved; you taught me how to fear. to how me taught you dissolved; they before them swallow and fell the arguing with yourself had exhausted you you and yourself thought had exhausted had yourself with the arguing You you doesn’tsmaller. make any to me cried of unknown the presage the your with proclamations your me read can you so eyes closed with time about stories maddening most the write to You used twitch. the and you.of than Youthe stories Beginning meyour bizarre with scared scolding me for never yanking you off that Thinking Swing. You said all of all said Swing. You Thinking that off you yanking forneverme scolding skywas the color ofeyes, yourcrying no, you weren’t onthe swing you were howabout you workshavehow that hated come the great before you make the place Swing: youwe seen conversation that had since on your Thinking my carelessness, for my fearlessness mistake you come after; will what and by thanking me for reading all your ludicrous stories all in italics before italics in all stories ludicrous your all reading for me thanking by black they’re the color of sky,the crying and Iwasn’t little, was justI younger all in italics because you liked the way the slant made the the made slant the way the liked you because italics in all Fragility: A Night Terror The Apocalypse and The Creation: Fragility is but a night butnight a is Fragility The Creation: and Apocalypse The ANNA ROSE STROSSER Fragility: A Night Terror The Apocalypse Apocalypse The when the When he rubs his paws together? paws his he rubs When things wicked What Does the house fly dream fly house the Does Bad weather.Bad STELLA KOZLOSKI House Fly

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 65 Dnt s8y th^t (in public) Foam, Plaster, Wire, Projection, Sound

DAN CRIBLEZ

Wake Up Oni Mixed Media

JOHNNY KOEKEE The Trade Mixed Media

JOHNNY KOEKEE

Next Boyfriend Photography

JACOB McGINNIS To read all the winning pieces, please visit longriverreview.com visit To please pieces, winning the all read The The winning pieces are selected by a panel of University of Connecticut faculty faculty Connecticut of of University by apanel selected are pieces winning Creative Writing Program. These contests award prizes to exceptional works exceptional to prizes award contests These Program. Writing Creative of both prose and poetry by undergraduate and graduate students alike. The alike. students graduate and by undergraduate poetry and prose of both the by hosted contests, literary annual Connecticut’s of University of the members, and outside authors. authors. outside and members, Long River Review River Long is happy to showcase some of the selected winners winners selected of some the showcase to happy is Contest Winners There was a little bump Therelittlewhere awas it on hurt forming my and forehead it felt hot “There’s melatonin under the sink in the bathroom. Sweet dreams, you dreams, Sweet bathroom. the in sink the under melatonin “There’s on Ambien.” is Agatha's atSt. Fredericks “Michael sleeper.” okay. I'm “I’m really arestless spasm.” little a just was “He’s it fine, okay?” everything is athud, “We heard curt raps on the curt door and they were us with in the room. I the pulled duvet throbbing. was head My ground. the on myself steadied I as conditioning over to face the wall. My in-laws were pretty funny, after all. They were They all. after funny, pretty were in-laws My wall. the face to over dealt with them. That wasn't right. I have a have I right. wasn't That them. with dealt who. who was say to dark more it. like She out probably was I of right. shimmied the covers and rolled air of lungful uneasy an I breathed carpet. onto and their bed in-laws’ guest my of out impulse jerking a by shot was I when morning the in two was It then they were gone. For a moment, I was too bewildered to notice I was was I notice to bewildered too was I moment, a For gone. were they then two.” now awake was She mattress. the onto myself lifted and blanket bed the pain. Once I groped my way to the frame, I clutched the hardwood under under hardwood the clutched I frame, the to way my groped I Once pain. scratching at the itch on my arm. My wife rolled over laughing on her side. over laughing rolled My wife on itch my atthe arm. scratching up my way arm. its inching itch a hard-to-place was There kid. a was I when did it like again, twitched toe My startled. and under and firm mythumb. it Iin pressed forfrom aandthesecond, recoiled up to my chin and grimaced to make out the faces, but it was simply too too simply was it but faces, the out make to grimaced and chin my to up “Night.” “Goodnight, Dennis.” Ericson.” Mrs. Mr. and “Goodnight, “Night.” sweetie.” “Goodnight, Dad.” Mom. Goodnight, “Goodnight, when we home.” get appointment an make Ishould thing. “Strangest bad.” sounds “That A sense of humor of A sense They bickered softly behind the curtains on their way to the door the to way their on curtains the behind softly bickered They Three disagreement. a brief hushed theinhallway There were footsteps “Grab some melatonin and take a leak. Goodnight, Dennis.” Goodnight, aleak. take and melatonin some “Grab it here, Kim.” “I’m losing Night of the Entangled . That’s what she would say when I’d ask her how she how her ask I’d when say would she what That’s . SEAN CAVANAUGH An Excerpt sense of humor, Dennis humor, of sense . That’s That’s .

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 71 — some as intimately familiar as the dead-on mirror appraisal, some rare rare some appraisal, mirror dead-on the as familiar intimately as some — with her breath under my hands. I synced my breathing with this rhythm. rhythm. this with breathing my synced I hands. my under breath her with Opera fingers woundinside mineand foundtheir new placeresting in the webbing of the gaps. I tried to ignore the incessant itchiness that was creeping up creeping that was my of itchiness the I to gaps. ignore the tried incessant enough to make my own form feel — But there wasn’t a single angle from from angle single a wasn’t there But — feel form own my make to enough didn’t feel right even once I was clean. even once Iwas feeldidn’t right like a duo from a failed marriage sitcom. My eyes shifted to soft focus, the focus, soft to shifted eyes My sitcom. marriage failed a from duo a like looking for the light switch. There was something absolutely demeaning demeaning absolutely something was There switch. light the for looking melatonin.” guts. the from worm brown sticky wrist and atmy palm I squinted In, out. her In, like out. mysmelled Herdad’s to hand I hair raised shampoo. and I surface, on its hand my wiped as I coarse was skirt bed The my wrist. gooseflesh my feel could I the of the base I comforter. my swung In a up rubbing silent instant, against face. my from away feet four or three Maybe from exercise breathing the did I me. to next lying was who remembered forearm, bring my attention to her body. Her belly moved in, out, in, out, out, in, out, in, moved belly Her body. her to attention my bring forearm, behind. far the the shoulder. Therefrom angles which weredifferent a tomillion be viewed timing. movie horror perfect with life to sitting a to scrambled and yelped She us. around McMansion open big the bycool supple, but air-conditioned was her Her ear. skin a behind lock tuck worm. of sort some was It college. during go us made they seminar that wasn’t itch My lingering the and — sheath. crazy me drive to a going was toe like twitching me around wrapped bedroom temperature-controlled position. around sides the to off squish it felt and wall the on dot the toward palm probably lit up like a Christmas tree when I saw her laugh. when Isaw tree aChristmas up like lit probably slumped, yet freakishly strung-out like Lon Chaney in in Chaney Lon like strung-out freakishly yet slumped, flickered mirror the and switch the hit I Finally, toilet. on the toe your stub about the act ofalong in you a the wall praying sidling dark, bathroom don’t I made chuckle. her This plan.” another has nature sometimes clear, seemed best David Attenborough. David best “Very cute, but there’s no victor in a waltz. You’d a took you if waltz. a better feelin victor nothere’s but cute, “Very victor the though and today… danced was death of waltz beautiful “A my into over hunched and carpet, the onto slid and frowned I “Uh-huh.” I’d it off.” thought “I wiped Dennis.” Christ, mean, “I on your hand?” shit that “What’s now.”“Well, sleep goto a bug.”was “There sleep.” to “Go A fast black dot my then the shotA bed, in view. fast across I went rod-straight I floundered through the dark to the bathroom and pawed at the wall wall the at pawed and bathroom the to dark the through floundered I them.” gowash I’ll wife's My waist. her around arms my wrapped and side my onto rolled I I craned my I neck craned to myview face, and my profile. I looked at overmyself . The jowls didn’t helpjowls . Theeither. Ah, it’s hideous! hideous! it’s Ah, The Phantom of the the of Phantom The My posture was was posture My with age. There was a wilted midnight sort of comfort in the idea that I that idea the in comfort somewhere. headed all of was wouldn’t forever. have age to this That sort midnight wilted a was There age. saggier and with puffier gotten had who boy balding a like look didn’t I which worm, like some possessed child had been doing macaroni art just under under just art macaroni doing been had child possessed some like worm, shirt. my under and arm my up slithering shot it but and thumb my with Once you see it, you’ll fall in love.” in you’ll fall it, youOnce see onto the wash basin and dug in with my elbows, using the little extra bit of of bit extra little the using elbows, my with in dug and basin wash the onto outside the door frame stood two vague human shapes huddled together together huddled shapes human vague two stood frame door the outside house. the around from one worms of the be might it that considering even for childish was I myself told I hives. of gooseflesh and the redness of my skin was a small form, maybe an inch in inch an maybe form, small a was skin my of redness the and gooseflesh length and half an and inch half length in a with width, shape not a roll. unlike crescent The rough-hewn sort of burn, and I and of let go. burn, asort rough-hewn After momenttherawness of quiet, right choice.” right presence sudden a was There half. in one bit and sink the under melatonin my surface. There had to be threea least dozen ofthe wiggling things, ever worked was chest my on skin The rug. throw the onto shirt my dumped I torque to really get my nails under the skin of my arm. The itch turned to a turned The underof myitch the skin gettorque my arm. nails to really the redness, however, was crescent shaped worm after crescent shaped shaped crescent after worm shaped crescent was however, redness, the colony fresh-grown a attracted and under slept it that skin the raised thing pulled mypulled back shirt over my body offand theturned lights. Igroped forthe subsided slightly and the itch made itself known again. I raised my forearm forearm my raised I again. known itself made itch the and slightly subsided against the dark. the against door.at the I so faint, felt I squirm. me make to together bodies working were their mind myLike and insides. my on something for searching and slightly so up in front of my eyes and angled it beneath the fluorescents. Under the Under fluorescents. the beneath it angled and eyes my of front in up up by the irritation, scored with sets of erratic red scratches. Underneath Underneath scratches. red erratic of sets with scored irritation, the by up “Good night Mr. and Mrs. Ericson.” Mrs. Mr. and night “Good “Night.” Dennis.” night, “Good “Yeah. team.” We agood make Dennis?” Right, decision. right the make they’ll “I’m sure couple.” choice. choice, They’re it’s a but it’s know their aclear working “I muchus.” so for a to lot offer. you the guys It means “Well, thank choice.” their be to going that’s “Edward, service.” babysitting a free you beat can’t Besides, “It’s alooker alright. “And the place next door is going to be the fitperfect for youandKimberly. agrandmother.” be to wait can’t “Bethany youabout how “We are. We smart were talking just know you’ll the make me. It’s not abig deal.” “It’s —excuse ju you’re“We’re glad so here sweetie.” just you.” into we“Yep. bumping keep It’s Sorry late. trick.” the do this’ll Hopefully a million. “Yeah, thanks “Glad you found the melatonin. I’m tellin’ you, is that likestuff magic.” Just All of a sudden, the itch in my arm became unbearable. I doubled over doubled I unbearable. became arm my in itch the sudden, a of All I wrapped my hand around my forearm and pressed into the shape shape the into pressed and forearm my around hand my wrapped I

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 73 with a fatalistic sort of confidence, like this was the ending that had always always hadthat the ending was this of like confidence,sort a fatalistic with it’s suddenly and wife, home. of the whims the and myself between amembrane was what I’d been doing to myself. There was a certain animal quality to my to quality animal certain a was There myself. to doing been I’d what we unless happen wouldn’t Dennis. Everyone ends up in different arrangements.” She rolled back over back rolled She arrangements.” different in up ends Everyone Dennis. conversation. I tried another breathing exercise before I left the bathroom, bathroom, the left I before exercise breathing another tried I conversation. couldn't be a single person with a life until you die, what would that even that would what die, you until life a with person single a be couldn't dependent that life now and entire an involvedone fairly marriage, careers, going to be a baby and we both worked full time. A set of two individual individual two of set A time. full worked both we and baby a be to going had been eroded. This couldn’t really be about the stupid itch, could it? In a In it? could itch, stupid the about be really couldn’t This eroded. been had from idea delusive a was pair breeding sovereign the maybe But like? look happen. Thewith the deal in-laws made it hard toescape from. You simply have. It’s amind-meld.” Forher thumb. amoment itch. Iforgot the about with skin my on motion circular little a did and shoulder my on hand her is alot work to amarriage.” is into it to bed, the I guest myself wrapped tightly in the blanket it and imagined myself stopped I but shirt, my under bumps the feel to searching hand my just my own nails in my skin. It was a small blessing I couldn’t really see see really couldn’t I blessing small a was It skin. my in nails own my just Something about this house made me into a neurotic mess. When I made made I When mess. neurotic a into me made house this about Something the start. Certainly, with my salary it seemed that way. that it seemed my salary with Certainly, start. the was there Now, lives. productive lives, good other. Two the benefited that funny.” all it find to scratching at this itch, like the line between my decisions and my reflexes reflexes my and decisions my between line the like itch, this at scratching goals make whoto chose of autonomous individuals a pair machine, stroke into irritation of bit little a turn and try to way a find to me like so always had bad skin; it was probably just another one of my rashes. It was en n tr fr s Mye h ws ih. o s ln, e ee two- a were we long, so For right. was she Maybe us. for store in been I delusion. a was ago minute a saw I What destination. its reached beforeit but it was hard to pretend that was going this to for do me. anything I found “Don’t be scared. There’s still Dennis and Kim. There’ll still be plain ol’ plain be still There’ll Kim. and Dennis still There’s scared. be “Don’t “It is funny,I’m Itscared. alwaysjust was going to be the and professor his how and ‘no’ say to when knowing about all It’s dramatic. “You’re being they life of way different a just It’s entanglement. an was it said never “I entanglement.” adult it’s an out because “You’re freaked just side. She placed onto her roll and chuckle made her This worms?” “House “Average worms.” House stuff. have problem?” abug they here. Do in feral I’m going feel like “I say no.” ask of they can you, you else Anything kid. the watch “They’ll couple wholesecond you.A having like I and don’tmyself “I know. like I isn’ttrip, it?” whythis took we “That’s Kim.”door,to us movein next want really “They sleeping.” was “I “Goddamn.” Thetwo shuffled offtheirto pitch-blackbedroom having some unparsable I felt an instant of scorching pain, but when I looked down and it was was it and down looked I when but pain, scorching of instant an felt I Everybody Loves Raymond Loves Everybody made it made happen. Or at least someone made it made someone least at Or happen. .” The Fly . a railing is just a railing. arailing. just a railing is when he said that, a tone of voice that made me gaze nervously at the the at nervously gaze me made that voice of tone a that, said he when countertop the beneath bent He sink. the to next together bunched were went. Once I picked up movementsinto his a on tune, snapped new the jazz oncoming psychosis. That was ridiculous. How did I let myself think such think myself let I did How ridiculous. was That psychosis. oncoming divided me into slices along with the house. I needed this joint more than I more than joint this needed I house. the with along slices me into divided through kitchen the from upward bleeding glow a was There descended. level of meaning: The theatrical upswing of his elbow with the Knobthe with Creek, his elbowof upswing Thetheatrical level of meaning: I’d caught his eye when I walked in the room. the in eye whenI’d Iwalked his caught door, but back the at glanced and pocket my in joint the fingered I kitchen. smart- the from playing solo Coltrane near-inaudible a was There Berlin. in I things? ridiculous was an academic; that was to supposed mean something. y utae Fv icig igr tbe truh hrs te scs then socks, then shirts, through tabbed fingers itching Five suitcase. my realized. Therewas thisoddrealized. behavior I whenexhibited my kept neurosis me front front of the so island, I on climbed top the and scene: surveyed Rye whiskey, his of genius happy the was he minute, a for least At it. to grace fatherly island, marble-topped the at trance a of something in was father-in-law been...? been...? to make you forget you were drinking. He didn’t seem like an alcoholic, alcoholic, an like seem didn’t He drinking. were you forget you make to arm. of the swing asingular with glass tea tried my best to look nondescript as I clawed at my Therearms. was astool in goofy a had all it stemware, the with playing exhibited he attitude pure the bottlestwirling ofrye and vermouthbetween his fingers like a club bartender tucked rolling paper and the cool plastic of the lighter. Of course, smoking smoking course, Of lighter. the of plastic cool the and paper rolling tucked the railing. Shafts of fading light in an array across the walls, across my across walls, the across array an in light fading of Shafts railing. the point of decision. It was more like I was exposed to this house and the itch itch the and house this to exposed was I like more Itwas decision. of point arm down my sensation kind of aThere was sliding then underwear. pants, and the worms and my body was doing as it saw fit. it saw as doing was my body and worms the and the toreach but I make, seemed neverto decision a risky at my in-laws was pants. my of folds the to up back pulled hand my and unzipping and bed of out slipping myself felt I state, half-conscious of sort an infant.” He poured the rye into a jigger cup and dumped it into a tall iced iced tall intoand it acup a dumped into the jigger rye He poured infant.” an display. acrobatic and sprung back to action twirling a strainer and a box of cherries toothpicks in an maraschino of jar a and bitters, angostura vermouth, red sweet he as rhythm the to gently swaying was he and Coffee, Mr. the by speaker bottles on the counter. The accoutrements, the jazz music, all good ways ways good all music, jazz the accoutrements, The counter. the on bottles up late at night, where I’d slip into fits of dismal free-association. free-association. whereup at I’dlate night, dismal of fits into slip of at bars body Bold, darkness whenthe angle. strident right I standing was I’ hle m truh lt” hr ws srie hf t hs speech his to heft strained a was There lot.” a through me helped “It’s you it all.” way move the with aprofessional, “Well you like look was Kimberly when up I picked hobby little a Just Yeah. stuff? this “Oh, afford them.” could when I myself, Manhattans liked always “I I them? I’d seen after bed in been I had long Howit.” about worry “Don’t you.” wake didn’t noise the “Hope A few clumsy steps to the staircase, then I held myself on the wall and and wall the on myself held I then staircase, the to steps clumsy few A In the kitchen was a light clattering of aluminum and glassware. My glassware. and aluminum of clattering light a was kitchen the In Stupid question, I was just anxious. I felt the crinkling of the tight- the of crinkling the felt I anxious. just was I question, Stupid I’d read that disorganized associations were a of sign associations I’d disorganized read that That couldn’t have have couldn’t That Sometimes, Sometimes,

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 75 “This is really something, Mr. Ericson. Strong for a nightly routine, don’t you you don’t routine, nightly a for Strong Ericson. Mr. something, really is “This ee lteig rm y oe o y xrmte. y oeet were movements My extremities. my to core my from slithering were fiendish. seeming without down run shiver a felt and Manhattan the sipped way.I big a in back was vigor. adetermined with stirred and in he dumped which coordination, complete with a ninety-degree swing around the bannister as aroundthe bannister swing complete a with coordination, ninety-degree good, it’s all ephemeral. You it’s yours.” ephemeral. it’s do it because all good, heard this and tried to formulate a response. There was a pensive aspect to aspect pensive a was There response. a formulate to tried and this heard a dumped He lips. his over creep grin sly a made This long.” too for hobby swift The dignified. look make to managed he that of scruff peppering light having a problem with bugs here?” bugs aproblem with having hardy, attacked. and whiskey- in, leaned I them. making one only the wasn’t I now,like lighter my body was launched toward the guest room. guest the toward launched was my body action. to myself willing Iwas like time feel but Ididn’t atany moving, skin, my beneath around worming bugs feel could I there. still was itch could I as fast and hard as it sipped I perfect. absolutely was It spine. my getup. night jigger of vermouth into the glass, then dashed bitters over the drink with a with drink the over bitters dashed then glass, the into of vermouth jigger toothpick between my front teeth and swallowed the cherries. The worms worms The cherries. the swallowed and teeth front my between toothpick think?” one over of them slid my to then hand. glasses, the into gingerly them He coupes. of pair the into liquid the of pour the strainer, the of twirl the a with tee, thermal long-sleeve a in over slumped little a was He though. pillowcase, so I started in with the drinks to get my mind off things.” off my mind get to drinks the with in Istarted so pillowcase, stairs. My legs kept pace with my arms in a shockingly athletic display of display athletic shockingly a in arms my with pace kept legs My stairs. the up flung being was body my until face my in red the and neck my and chest my in quake the through warming panic felt I itch. interminable an then back cheap slid like the vodka, and shot the snatched the glass cocktail certainly was I again. back and hands my to chest my from slithering The swallowed. and air the to coupe the of stem the tipped I around.” stick on of four— a ontwo toothpicks cherries pair each — speared dropped and in iceTherethewas atoglass, bucket ofshakes. next shoulder-swung series late- shabby his to lie the gave pajamas the beneath movements athletic “It’s funny you mention that. I was getting worked in up my a over getting worm was I that. you mention “It’sfunny I restlessness.” your with help Might off? it polish to like you “Would “You’re you?” are out, that dump to not going that.” Remember Dennis. them. theIt’s process, finish rarely “I to me in it have wouldn’t I it, to was there all been that’d if saying “I’m yours?” it was say to house you buy this didn’t “So “It’s why you get a hobby. TheThe convictions.” demand itch things bigger he when head his shook He right?” anything, do you why that’s guess “I feels what want, you What it. do to decision the making about all “It’s a to commit to able been never I’ve it. with stuck you impressed “I’m The worms were pulsing through my limbs now, gnawing at me with with me at gnawing now, limbs my through pulsing were worms The How the fuck was this happening? this was fuck the How “I don’t“I to be but want rude, I couldn’t help but notice: Have you been I wasn’t doing this. My legs were and my my and were legs My this. doing wasn’t I Read the full piece online at longriverreview.com at online piece full Read the were perfectly irrational and I was educated enough to know a midnight midnight a know to enough educated was I and irrational perfectly were Could this all be the worms? the be all this Could of house worms—whatever that was supposed to mean. All of these fears fears these of All mean. to supposed was that worms—whatever house of of course the over parasites of colony a by overrun been had of heard ever door with a confident thrust and I wasn’t leaping from the threshold to the to threshold the from leaping wasn’t and I thrust confident a with door dad would forget about this by the morning. I had a decent job, good drink drink good job, decent a had I morning. the by this about forget would dad the in chest infested my of image The up. one thought I when delusion needed to put this in perspective: I was a little drunk and this was a difficult and was a this difficult I needed to a was drunk put little in perspective: this my soften to arms my with weight my supporting wasn’t I and mattress in my belly, and my wife was by my side. my was belly,in my wife and Kim’s Besides, night. the of middle the in memory a for dream a mistaken fall. I was in bed now and I was still. I leered at my wrists in the dark of dark the in wrists my at leered I still. was I and now bed in was I fall. transition. Plenty of houses have problems with bugs, and no one that I’d that one no and bugs, with problems have houses of Plenty transition. my skin. beneath writhing was my flesh like looked almost it and room the but throughout, arms were and it was presumably my brain that was keeping me balanced balanced me keeping was that brain my presumably was it and were arms a single night. Certainly, no one had lost control of their body to a colony a to body their of control lost had one no Certainly, night. single a ahom irr tl pt e n de bt ht ant h frt ie I’d time first the wasn’t that but edge, on me put still mirror bathroom I gave myself a pinch on the wrist and turned my body toward Kim. I Kim. toward body my turned and wrist the on pinch a myself gave I Iwasn’t running . I wasn’t swinging the guest bedroom bedroom guest the swinging wasn’t I .

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 77 Primal Photograph

OMAR TAWEH

The Old Sufferer Mixed Media

JOHNNY KOEKEE Watcher Photograph

TAYLOR GIORGETTI

Lantern Monoprint

OLIVIA BALDWIN American there who had American been there before, he could help them embrace the with them; what possible reason could he have to bring his father along? along? father his bring to have he could reason possible what them; with wouldn’t do, was no good forhad he advertising, ever seen a travel ad where wait for to the end rains — Don’s had boss told whenhim hethat rain called about him the humidity,warned andthe but rain, hehadn’t thought it could Don had only been in the country a week and half, but he already regretted regretted but he already a weekhalf, and country the in been only Don had Don’s, his had not been a voluntary journey. avoluntary not been Don’s, had his City now, as he had to remind his father) for the countryside — the raw, the — countryside the for father) his remind to had he as now, City culture and find the spirit of the country, or some such nonsense that he that nonsense such some or country, the of spirit the find and culture of the rain on his tent and wait; wait for the rain to end, and for his father father his for and end, to rain the for wait wait; and tent his on rain the of he was too young. His siblings did, though; they told him stories of the the of stories him told they though; did, siblings His young. too was he cut barely that roads of miles unknown down deep, delved had team his man Donald Sr. had been; he was so happy, so full of life and stories and stories and life of full so happy, so was he been; had Sr. Donald man like much — before country the to been had father his capacity what in been he? does Well, noHe — but doesn’the’s work business, the actually in sound the to listen except do to Don for nothing was There mud. of rivers going just so he she was said, sells! No,he ofit hadn’t; sunny rained? course to send his father with him to Vietnam. He neglected to mention, though, though, mention, to neglected He Vietnam. to him with father his send to thought she may buy. Eventually, Don wore her down, and got the company they But translator. a be could He ago. time long a were, it as before, there something. say to it. on with back get end and to for rains the have wait to to and filming stop to them forcing since, after stopped days hadn’t two and rain to arrival, began their it worse; not if bad, as bit every was it that serious work. serious it’s you know; vacation, isn’t a family up, this lined a translator had already now were that roads and jungle the of maw engulfing the through path a had father his — him with agree didn’t climate the come; to agreeing understanding, — beatific, almost. Don was vividly aware of the man who man the of aware vividly was Don almost. beatific, — understanding, and Don So, said. she country, the of beauty natural the by mesmerized be just as his countryside, boss had demanded; unspoiled she wanted people to however, out, find to come had He stories. man’s old the as bad as half be Don knew, but insisted, he could be a consultant; he would be the only only the be would he consultant; a be could he insisted, but knew, Don Don didn’t much remember his father before he went away to the war, war, the to away went he before father his remember much didn’t Don Of course, by that time they had already left Saigon (no, Ho Chi Minh Minh Chi Ho (no, Saigon left already had they time that by course, Of It had taken weeks to convince his boss to allow Don’s father to come to father Don’s allow to boss his convince to weeks taken had It There Will Come Hard Rains CHRISTOPHER GARDNER — a simple response, just an acknowledgment that someone else was there there was else someone that acknowledgment an just response, simple a — Thuan. She ran into the tent and gave a sigh of relief, dropped the palm leaf, leaf, palm the dropped gaveofrelief, sigh and a thetent into ran She Thuan. isThat why heisn’thim, brought it?Why else would he — why else, for that village in an effortto morevillage procure food —they were goingto be here much was like trying to build a bridge without any supports; every word he tried word every he tried supports; any without a bridge to build trying like was couldn’t bear couldn’t the bear Well,silence anymore. neither could Don at Thepoint. this all of least stories, less told and less, little a smiled however;he back, came courage to ask his father what she had said. Before he could speak, though, though, speak, could he Before said. had she what father his ask to courage tucked hand other their had and head, over their leaf palm large a carrying of cigarettes and a newspaper written in Vietnamese. Don couldn’tread the in Vietnamese. written and a newspaper of cigarettes day by day and year by year, until he was what he was now: silent. Don’s silent. now: was he what was he until year, by year and day by day downpour silently with a face ofwith stone, silently Don wondereddownpour why they were even longer than longer intended than it seemed. He racked his mind in a forsearch desperate his father looked over at him and said, “Nineteen sixty-eight.” “Nineteen said, and over looked athim father his and smile, half- crooked a cracked then and moment, a for her at looked not from a lack of people to talk to, at least until Don’s mother left — she — left mother Don’s until least at to, talk to people of lack a from not in the tent with him. He sat bewildered for a while as Thuan read the paper paper the read Thuan as for a while bewildered He sat him. tent with the in Don in responded wasa shocked Vietnamese. very —rusty whathad Thuan man old The thanks. of form some was assumed Don that Vietnamese in anymore; sure exactly wasn’t Don come? to agree father his would matter, father hadn’t spoken more than two sentences at a time in five years, and years, five in time a at sentences two than more spoken hadn’t father for American dollars. Thuan beamed at Don’s father, and said something something said and father, Don’s at beamed Thuan dollars. American for foot of on the which hill that wereshe Don team and his had camped, never jungle. the in left had he himself of part the reclaim and demons his face their first day there when Don saw her lurking around the camp. Their Their camp. the at the village the from around was she determined and lurking girl the to spoke her translator saw Don when there day first their the overpaper to to Don, Don’sturned and father. He received a it nod, with was person The hill. the up scurrying figure small a saw he and tent, the there. endless the through out gazed he as father his at across looking tent, the in sat he as and mind, his from purpose of sense the away washed rain the rain. the in away washed was and silence, fell into lips his forceto across pair were alone in the tent, the rest of the crew having gone down to the the to down gone having crew the of rest the tent, the in alone were pair paper, but his father could — of parts it, at Thuanhandedthe least. cigarettes to him bring to closure, father his give to time was it that felt Don project, something, anything, to talk about. Everything that came to to about. mind fell Everything talk flat.anything, something, It steadily, away, further and further be to seemed He war. the from stories aloud to them. When she had finished, and was writing what to what writing was and finished, she had When them. to aloud time whole this for looking been had Don what elicit to father his to said sold happily she which paper, the and cigarettes brought the and like since, offerings morning small every visited Thuan before. foreigners seen pocket. shirt his from bill dollar acrumpled-up girl the handed and pack a treasure: today’s reveal to shirt her from hand other her pulled and be to figure this recognized Don watched, he As shirt. their under away When his boss told him he would be going to Vietnam for his next next his for Vietnam to going be would he him told boss his When Thuan was a young girl of about ten or eleven. She had met them on met had She or eleven. ten about of girl a young was Thuan Don were unintelligible characters in the dirt, Don mustered up the the up mustered Don dirt, the in characters unintelligible were Don outside world drowning the into out gaze father’s his followed Don

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 83 was taken back by the suddenness and bitterness of the outburst, and more the outburst, of bitterness and bysuddenness the back taken was world it. around As he did, at he Don glanced from the corner of eye his and and bones his into seeped that moisture cold a only — had be to none was He rain. the to back gaze his the but turned he tent, the so Don, of to nothing floor meant dirt words the into characters carved Thuan as watch five feet from him) had gone to war as well — both of them had, in fact; fact; in had, them of both — well as war to gone had him) from feet five crack his neck, to alleviate the building tension within his body and the the and body his within tension building the alleviate to neck, his crack to human or son to father from connection human real no camaraderie; such that grandfather; his in fact father was remember; his that consciously expressionless face of his father. Don wondered what his father felt of the the of felt father his what wondered Don father. his of face expressionless especially the dead ones. Was that it?especially heDid father wish his had gone down like boxed Patton away as Tunisia in heart a purple himself oneearned had wanted he that it Was fall. to continued rain the as thought Don opposite, he saw a flash, and heard a low, slow peal of thunder in the distance. He distance. the in thunder of peal slow low, a heard and flash, a saw he looked down at his shoes in the mud. the in shoes athis down looked will a as interpreted he what simply — either opposition no but human, name of God, whatever, and to which he had been barred from returning. from barred been he had whatever, which to of and God, name nothing more to than be able to rid of himself to something, rejoin the world face, his of creases the through mind his of sense some divine to tried rain, father) had gone down in a torpedo bomber in Leyte Gulf and had been been had and Gulf Leyte in bomber torpedo a in down gone had father) of the in name which duty,from he taken had been the name of honor,then too, like his father before him? Maybe then he’d be a real hero;wouldn’the he’d then real a Maybe be him? before father his like too, — generation! greatest heroes; goddamned big were them of lot whole the and He clueless. helpless Heagain, likefelt a child embarrassed. a little than the it was Or moved. currently he which in world the from apart be to of sense any nor compassion, paternal no found Don father his In cross. to there but someofsemblance comfort, torrents theunending in to find tried progress. otuosy wre te i Mdl Te wr hre, huh Don, thought heroes, were They Medal. Air the awarded posthumously a cocksure brute at the tail of the Desert Fox, and the other (his father’s father’s (his other the and Fox, Desert the of tail the at brute cocksure a Don me?” at starin’ you hell the “Why out, spat Donny,”he “Jesus snorted. a lie them between gulf that it a spanned generation, and would as take long back to instead shudderedlooking the rain, from and the turned consuming watched, he As defeated. utterly felt He out. inside the from him soaked to began father His disappointed. feeling resist couldn’t he but much, as be this at least. Don pushed the idea from his mind; he wasn’t willing to to willing wasn’t he mind; his from idea the pushed Don least. at this be —silence. found more same ofbut only the “Wh- what was it like?” was what “Wh- “Yes.” sudden startling, his by encouraged asked, Don then?” here you “Were sixty-eight.” Nineteen the newspaper. on year “The Don felt now as he often had, going back into the past as far as he could could he as far as past the into back going had, often he as feltnow Don expected have should He again. once flat fell confidence surging Don’s out, “What?” for a moment beforeblankly stammering at him Don stared i ata gadahr a opsd o h dsat l mn etd not seated man old distant the to opposed (as grandfather actual His to if as other the then and side one to head his cocked slowly father His Silence. ‘em — there was a village full of ‘em right back in that jungle. We could tell tell could jungle. We that in back right of ‘em full village a was there ‘em— was the other thing; that cocksure brutality we used to win the war, that that war, the win to used we it brutality Maybe cocksure die. that to thing; come other the had was he place the at now placidly gazing was who why he had, and regretted it. regretted why and he had, a without little Afterfear. with filledonly thesounda long pause rain, the of crisis to crisis and war to war. And now — and now…. now —and And war. to war and crisis to crisis coiled up inside Don broke, and he gazed blankly at his father, who turned turned whofather, his at blankly gazed he broke,and Don inside up coiled of point the what’s So commercial. fucking this on me help to here come or supportive somehow, but as soon as he said it he couldn’t understand understand couldn’t he it said he as soon as but somehow, supportive or had we‘em of many so was there and ambush, an into came and patrol on the over out make barely could Don melody quiet a hum to began even down a heavy load. aheavy down like twinkling artificial constellations on the ceiling of a planetarium. It decade, planetarium. a to decade and year to year of from grown, only had it ceiling stopped; hadn’t the on constellations artificial twinkling like have to see that sight again.” sight that have see to blue serene eyes. almost cool, with gaze his meet to turned father his eyes her spoke, Don when writing her from up looked Thuan eyes. his it hadn’t stopped, had it? The smug blindness of a fighter with bloodied bloodied with floor the across fighter thrown a were teeth whose man overthe of standing knuckles blindness smug The it? had stopped, hadn’t it incessant rain drumming on the canvas tent and hissing into the muddy the into hissing and tent canvas the on drumming rain incessant jungle, leave ‘em no place left to hide. I seen ‘em use it once. We were out were We once. it use ‘em seen I hide. to left place no ‘em leave jungle, forest where they were hiding, and we and whereforest gotwerethey out hiding, through back of there. Came to call in the jets for support. And they came through and lit up the whole rain eternal the and mud, the in symbols nonsensical drawing child the pressed on him like a vice, straining him to the point of bursting. Propelled Propelled ofto the point bursting. him straining a vice, like on him pressed outside. pools anyone used to win any war, or to create them, in Don’s estimation. And And estimation. Don’s in them, create to or war, any win to used anyone man a at look to bear couldn’t he — else everything of top on that accept another peal of thunder rolled across the dome the sky. of the across rolled of thunder peal another down burnt to all Wethe ground. found out why there had been so ofmany a week later on and the patrol, another forest wasn’t there no more — it was not and uncomprehendingly two men the between and forth back shifting anything?!” saying and not here sitting by all the burnt bodies that weren’t holdin’ guns, and the little ones.” little the and weren’t that guns, holdin’ bodies burnt the by all the in Vietcong the at get to tryin’ years, for trees the down burnin’ been setting were he if as slightly, deflated and hills, lush the at out look to back said, and pride of his reserves last the he rallied pressure, by the “You know these aren’t the same dad.”trees, He had meant to be consoling ever would nobody so back grown had trees the if see to back came “I tension The back.” grown had trees the if see “to said he back,” came “I just didn’t you know I here? back come to agree even you did why “Dad, Don sucked his teeth and lit a cigarette, Thuan continued to write, and write, to continued Thuan cigarette, a lit and teeth his sucked Don Don stared at his father with a barely concealed fire smoldering behind behind smoldering fire concealed barely a with father his at stared Don He paused and continued his detached stare into the darkening clouds into as the darkening He stare detached and his continued paused already had they here I got time by sixty-seven, in drafted “Got said, He man, old inscrutable the patience; his of end the nearing rapidly was He

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 85 was determined — he dug in his pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, bill, twenty-dollar a out pulled and pocket his in dug he — determined was glancing atThuan. glancing ihnn gt hr. el e t g a fs a psil, n gt ak here.” back get and possible, as fast as go to her Tell here. gets lightning her. towards sympathy in up well to began he and absolution, an as her, His father turned to Thuan and translated the message. She looked at him him at looked She message. the translated and Thuan to turned father His the when hill the on out be or there down stuck get to them want don’t I here? up back crew the get to village the to down run and favor huge a me and bright with him at look to quickly turned she and name, her called He fearfully and pointed to the heavy clouds looming over the hills, but Don but hills, the over looming clouds heavy the to pointed and fearfully do to her ask you “Can said, and father his to turned He eyes. foreboding the money and darting out of the tent into the storm. the into tent out of the darting money and the and held it out to Thuan. She looked at him hesitantly, before finally taking taking finally before hesitantly, him at She looked Thuan. to heldout it and them. towards crawl to continued thunder the as flighty little a and weary grow to began but out, breaking wasn’t argument “Doesn’t matter, Donny. At least there are trees. And kids.” his father said, said, father his kids.”And trees. matter,areDonny. there“Doesn’t At least Don looked at the girl and tried to imagine her the way his father saw saw father his way the her imagine to tried and girl the at looked Don She had resumed her writing rather cheerfully after she had seen an seen had she after cheerfully rather writing her resumed had She “I don’t think we found anyone today,” Darren sighed. That meant that that meant That sighed. Darren today,” anyone found we think don’t “I your Indian take-out and piles of car magazines. Please be nice for couplea nice be Please magazines. ofcar piles and take-out Indian your Darren Brown.” Darren fifteen people that showed up that first day, three were disqualified for disqualified were three day, first that up showed that people fifteen colored hair extensions threatened to tumble out of the bird’s nest on her on nest bird’s the of out tumble to threatened Different extensions hair hair. colored blonde eighties-style ridiculous, her to attributed be could rat’s a in changes nuanced recording hours fourteen spent have could ok. Dr. Jamison, would you like to start the interview?” the start to would you like Dr.ok. Jamison, her placed heels fluffy wedged, enormous Her carnival. a at place of out the Of candidate. a disqualify immediately could flaw little Any opinion. her like a tyrannosaurus rex. atyrannosaurus her like applying for talent lacked apparently but make-up, on piled had She head. Melissa is so dang formal!” Her voice was somehow more jarring than her than jarring more somehow was voice Her formal!” dang so is Melissa legs, spider broken lashes her sand, desert cracked resembled skin her it; minutes.” more wrongtwowiththem Theor hadlast physically mentally nothing illnesses. mental past suffered having for six and needles, of fear for four insomnia, Darren’s in dating, like lot a was subject perfect the for Interviewing formed a rehearsed pout as she strutted with both arms poised in front of front in poised arms both with strutted she as pout rehearsed a formed for experiment. the the atrociously fake southern accent distorted each syllable of speech. syllable each distorted accent southern fake atrociously the grueling. emotionally as just would be tomorrow appearance. It was possibly the loudest sound this lab had ever heard, and and heard, ever had lab this sound loudest the possibly was It appearance. to her herand forehead. eyebrows lips pasted Her pieces plastic of charcoal inches those of some perhaps Or Brown. Dr. than taller inches six about behavior, whereas just six hours of social interviews sucked out his soul. soul. his out sucked interviews social of hours six just whereas behavior, required commitment time the make could they if but wereuncertain both “Well ain’t you a cutie,” Melissa Aisling said, “And call me ‘Missy Sugar’. ‘Missy me call “And said, Aisling Melissa cutie,” a you ain’t “Well is my partner, project this Aisling, Ms. Aisling. is Melissa “Dr. this Brown, in?” her I bring Should list. the signed one more just who just “There’s After an entire day of feigning politeness, Darren was exhausted. He exhausted. was Darren politeness, feigning of day entire an After The woman who followed Jessica into the room wouldn’t have looked looked have wouldn’t room the into Jessica followed who woman The Jessica rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dr. Brown, I promise I’ll let you go home to to homeyou go let I’ll promise I “Yes, Brown, Dr.eyes. her rolled Jessica Darren wasn’t “Um, how sure entirely Darren creature. to act to next strange this home.”I’m then going one more interview, “Fine, dropped. heart Darren’s The Morpheus ELLEN FULLER An Excerpt

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 87 “we unfortunately have to close the laboratory now. It was nice talking to to talking nice was now.It laboratory the close to have unfortunately “we Anyone with the slightest social perception would have picked up the ill- the up picked have would perception social slightest the with Anyone of stupidity. for onslaught the himself braced and disgust with A121 where she only eats green foods, and she lost 22 pounds! But then I try it, it, try I then But pounds! 22 lost she and foods, green eats only she where Aisling.” you, Ms. serious had Sugar Missy thought she that meant question this asking was got my green food dye and everythin’, and I swear, I swear, I and everythin’, dye and food my green got didn’t know why she kept that up — he knew very well from her file that that file her from well very knew he — up that kept she why know didn’t athim. vapidly grinned just Sugar but Missy there, impatience disguised find can’t I then and somethin’, or Target like shop, a in I’m where dream half working with a woman whose most interesting dream is wandering wandering is dream interesting most whose woman a with working half one this have “I rat, a of claws the like clattering nails fake three-inch her like the jaws of death. Darren peered at her through the window of room room of window the through her at peered Darren death. of jaws the like of her voice. droning mosquito-like out the tune to tried and hair back attention her turned and shrugged Jamison Dr. lab. the leave to hint not-so-subtle his oncaught tohadn’t Sugar Missy furious. his amused, hers left. had she modesty little what maintain to just coat her alab so her riding high that Dr.legs, her mini-skirt Brown sequin to wanted offer Gullible”. “Most been had superlative school high Missy Sugar was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, her spray-painted spray-painted her bed, hospital the of edge the on sitting was Sugar Missy my out!” way she that fact her. The towards head his whipped Dr.Brown said. Jessica is,” Sugar rattled on about her short-lived run on a local beauty pageant as a as pageant beauty local a on run short-lived her about on rattled Sugar from Melissa — Missy Sugar — and began the questioning. questioning. the began —and Sugar —Missy Melissa from tortured strand of dyed hair around her ringed claw and smacked her gum gum her smacked and claw ringed her around dyedhair of strand tortured story. grueling Sugar’s Missy towards Doctor?” something, that her teenager; ex-boyfriend who to nowwas her mom;married and how her potential as a research candidate. aresearch as potential she was from Detroit. “I’m doing just... “I’m doing Detroit. from she was and dead a twirled She floors. the scuffing and air the kicking sneakers Target. around “How are you today, Ms. Missy Sugar?” He asked in a false chipper tone. chipper false a in asked He Sugar?” Missy Ms. today,you are “How diet new this on is Tara, girlfriend, my before, sayin’ was I as “Anyways, you!” to talkin’ nice so It was Doctor! “Oh, babble, incessant of hour an almost after said Brown Dr. Jamison,” “Dr. together, hands her clapped and squealed Sugar Missy sho’, honey!” “Fo’ that them, of any remember you If dreams? your about me tell you “Can As Missy Sugar prattled on, Jessica and Darren exchanged glances — glances exchanged Darren and Jessica on, prattled Sugar Missy As “Oh, Doctor,” Missy Sugar drawled in her fake southern belle accent. He He accent. belle southern fake her in drawled Sugar Missy Doctor,” “Oh, Jessica, who had recovered more quickly than Darren, sat down across across down sat Darren, than quickly more recovered had who Jessica, Darren focused his attention slightly above Melissa Aisling’s enormous enormous Aisling’s Melissa above slightly attention his focused Darren crossed just Sugar Missy but hand, his extended and stood Brown Dr. Missy as agreement of noises and nods little with listened Jamison Dr. would He cried. have could Brown Dr. During the time which it had taken her to finish her her four-wordsentence, finish to her taken had it which time the During — fine .” not not spend the next year and a and year next the spend gained some! Now isn’t The closest comparison he could think of was being the only sober person person sober only the being was of think could he comparison closest The odrd f t a bcue h dd’ ko wa cm nx. e voice Her next. came what know didn’t she because was it if wondered was the unpredictability. the was a with booger on finger; his her mother, whohad yelled athim for not doing Missy that ways some in grateful was He creepy. and disorienting was didn’t He it. after stared Brown Dr. nothing. into faded then past, waddled filling in the gaps? the in filling colored colored contacts the real-life Missy Sugar wore. Her clothes were just clothes, of clothes felt like nothing, the same nothing everyone knows from dreams. everyone dreams. from knows nothing of the same clothes felt nothing, like discomfort as he stuck her with the tiny needle. needle. tiny the her with he stuck as discomfort her — he knew, from months of her watching sleep, that she had a tendency The needle. the prepping and hands his washing finished already had he hard in the back and he collapsed forward onto the snake-dress. snake-dress. onto the forward he collapsed and back the in hard perspective, Missy’s from it experienced he Sometimes homework. his not statements. Never had someone so normal looked so ... abnormal. so looked normal so someone Never had not statements. was mind Missy’s and him, poked had world real the in someone Perhaps fingers. his underneath snakes of tiny hundreds into dream. else's someone of experience the to used get ever would he if know costume Superman a in terrier Pitbull A predictably. Target, a in was He them. watch to down sat herself and luck’ a muttered ‘good Sugar had natural brown hair and brown eyes, rather than the alarming alarming the than rather eyes, brown and hair brown natural had Sugar Missy This accessories. and clothes ridiculous the of all without but Sugar, more creative. wasn’t Sugar few people from Missy’s past. fewHer ex-boyfriend, past. people who from down Missy’s him had chased trailed off and she began to snore softly. He velcroed a lap belt around belt lap a He velcroed softly. snore to began she and off trailed to kick. to sooner this was over with, the better. the over with, was this sooner should should have been able ontoto Falling touch the in rack him the dreamscape. dreams about part worst The cast. the of member a just was he sometimes at a of ofdisbelief party. athedreamer,dreamscape theWithout suspension She own. anesthesia Sugar’s Missy general to the headwear strange prepared Brown’s Dr. she connected and as much speak didn’t She answer. belong here.” belong “One,” Missy Sugar drew out the syllable for five whole seconds. Darren Darren seconds. whole five for syllable the out drew Sugar Missy “One,” ten,” to he instructed. counting “Start said. Dr. Brown started,” get Let’s Ma’am. “Alright “Missy Sugar?” Darren said. Darren Sugar?” “Missy “Ow!” he spun to face the woman, rubbing at the small of his back. Nothing now. scared sounding voice there?!” the “Who’s repeated, avoice there?” called. “Who’s The woman winced. “Melissa. Melissa Aisling. Who are you? don’t you? You are Who Aisling. Melissa “Melissa. winced. woman The Darren had made the to decision her,ignore Darren poked him when something a met he had head, Sugar’s Missy in of hours dozens his In froze. Darren an for waiting without entered and door the on rapped Jamison Dr. He took a bit of sick pleasure in how her overdrawn mouth puckered in in puckered mouth overdrawn her how in pleasure sick of bit a took He But then he saw her face and his jaw fell open. It was was It open. fell jaw his and face her saw he then But unraveled dress one as screamed He clothes. of rack a through rifled He — her! It was Missy Missy was It

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 89 Read the full piece online at longrivereview.com at online piece full Read the wake. I don’t know how else to explain it.” Idon’t explain to wake. how know else contained within the skull of the dullest woman hewoman everhad of met the dullest — notdid the skull within contained Morpheus. And don’t spare any details, please.” details, any don’t And spare Morpheus. match. Sugar, knew that piece of trivia. “Who are you?” are “Who of piece trivia. that knew Sugar, felt safe when he thought of the brain that way. When the brain was just just was brain the When way. that brain the of thought he when safe felt that all brain activity was just a firing of synapses, a passing of protons of protons passing a synapses, of firing a just was activity brain all that smiled. you Melissa what mean,” that’s tight. too alittle hand his she squeezed and beds the to another organ, it made sense. But this science-fiction alternate reality — all — reality alternate science-fiction But this sense. it made organ, another a like volley, He and tennis electrons and ofa neurotransmitters. smattering using The Morpheus. I am merely visiting.” am merely I The Morpheus. using "What do you mean? I told you, I’m Melissa Aisling.” Itold do you, you I’m mean? Melissa "What “Sit down,” Melissa pulled him to the ground. “Now, tell me about The about me tell “Now, ground. the to him pulled Melissa down,” “Sit whispered. “Fine,” Darren asked. Melissa Darren?” “Are you alright, to enough...room have I sleeps, she While person. same the aren’t “We Imean.” person, “You same the don’t like seem if fumes, hairspray from damage brain much as quite suffered haven’t “I Sugar.” Missy you’refrom “But so...different Missy of entity an as Melissa, that shock his hid Darren you,” “Thank said. Clever,” Melissa dreams. and of sleep God The Greek “Morpheus. dreams about study a in participating is Sugar Missy psychologist. a “I’m you here?” doing are “What bitten were nails Her hand. Melissa’s shook Darren Brown,” Darren “Dr. Dr. Brown didn’t understand, and he hated not understanding. He knew He knew not understanding. he hated and Dr. didn’t understand, Brown When I first came to college, I realized that I had a superpower. Kind of like like Kind of that Ihadsuperpower. a to I college, came realized I first When went into the shoulder of his jean jacket. God my mouth was open and and open was mouth my God jacket. jean his of shoulder the into went and eyebrows furrowed lips, Pursed too. time this blast on it I’d put work. the through see could They rock. hard the spot on soft The wolvesclothing. between space made they not, or it of conscious were they whether way, cologne in my mouth. my mouth. in cologne you weren’t that some show them to time the all You college. smiled either everything. I pulled back, a scowl on my face and the acrid taste of Nautica Nautica of taste acrid the and myface on scowl a back, pulled I everything. face My collision. on Full whatsoever. effect no had it And everything. be to tended options those of One you. from away shied subconsciously or even as a façade grew to be second I almost nature, admit that will it became dissolving, with a swift tilt of my head in return I could feel a smile smile a feel could I return in head my of tilt swift a with dissolving, into his face. He’dinto his one on hand my lain comfort. own shoulder his in didn’t superpower my that day the see to live I’d that thought never I bearable bit more alittle just everything made head their tilt smiles, of smallest the with and it in dead me look eye, my growing that knows only lord the because other, the than accessible more consciously people and activated, powers didn’t, you or threat, imminent white predominantly a to went you when especially lonely, increasingly specifically…white More path. my obstructing from keep to aside moved he touching me? touching he face up real mean, fill my gaze with heat, and wherever I walked, people walked, I wherever and heat, with gaze my fill mean, real up face them and the “potential threat.” threat.” “potential the and them my fix scowl, was do to had I All will. you if sea red the split to power the people. The few that I did run into … They didn’t move aside. They’d catch They’d aside. move didn’t They … into run did I that few The people. their walking woman black angry an saw they When aside. moved people sigh that left my mouth. I squinted my eyes and lifted my head to look up look to head my lifted and eyes my squinted I mouth. my left that sigh aword exchanged. without core the to anger bubbling to the surface, because oddly enough, something as small as that that as small as something enough, oddly because surface, the to bubbling in lamb the see could movement. They one swift in down back then up and me. to easy came angry world the being up in Idid, And in that moment, anger forgotten, loneliness subsiding, façade façade subsiding, loneliness forgotten, anger moment, that in And I guess I was partly to blame but you couldn’t tell that from the hostile hostile the from that tell couldn’t you but blame to partly was I guess I But there was a clause to this super power. It didn’t work on other black black workpower.other on didn’t It super this to clause a was there But angry, being when but time, on places me getting for greatly helped It Baby blue eyes paired with a sheepish grin. The boy had ears ears had boy The grin. sheepish a with paired eyes blue Baby Of Lambs and Wolves COURTNEY HAIGLER An Excerpt — Why is is Why

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 91 3407 last semester, and Guyers this one too but did he really expect me to to me expect really he did but too one this Guyers and semester, last 3407 working. I had the scowl, the eyebrows, the disinterested stance. Why was was Why stance. scowl, eyebrows,I the the working. had disinterested the for one either. looking wasn’t was he choosing now of all times to start aconversation? start to times now of all he choosing was could see, it didn’t even phase him. him. even it didn’t phase see, could of walking away he just pointed up at the sky. “Come on, it’s a beautiful beautiful a it’s on, “Come sky. the at up pointed just he away walking of for this. have but Ididn’t time it, bear and smile to easier goddamn business, but I figured that would be too rude. too be that would but Ifigured business, goddamn day, the sun is shining, it’s warm, the grass is green. Why do you look so so look you do Why green. is grass the warm, it’s shining, is sun the day, put to wanted almost I shoulders. his to messily fell that locks brown dark he still trying to talk to me? to talk to trying he still English had I Yeah, him. behind door glass the at shoulder his over look missing all the barbs I was throwing his way. his throwing Iwas barbs the all missing been have would probably It it.” throw didn’t “I warmth. no held tone My aLogan. he like looked name.” Logan, I and guy this with conversation one have didn’t I was he who remember didn’t I room. my to went then work, my did class, to went I memories. sit gonna was new brand now, seat acting someone claimed my get didn’t I just sounded. And lord Jesus if the next thing out his mouth was telling me telling mouth was out his thing next the if lord And Jesus sounded. just hr loig ie e a hvn a aul ovrain ih fin. I friend. a with conversation casual a having was he like looking there own his mind to him tell to wanted I glare. the get gonna was he smile, to board. the right?” You too. windows, by the sit together always upset. be I’d then and there really into Fauster.if and in seven him I minutes around class had myto walk last glossy by concealed partly were they but of, proud be would dumbo that and with each swing of the door my patience was growing thinner. Why Why thinner. growing was patience my door the of swing each with and said he everything cheesy how know to had he goodness, my Oh angry?” instead but red turned ears his of tips The “Ouch.” pain. to akin something on lessons were there when people’sfaces, other in looking time my spend realization. he’d like almighty come an to agape annoyed. feeling just on but Isettled it, to or something a comb or brush “Hey! We“Hey! sure together. 3407 I’mweAnd have had pretty English Guyers you there.” see didn’t that, about “Sorry We there forstood a standing and him second. Me crossed my with arms Jean jacket had other ideas because he leaned over a bit, mouth slightly slightly mouth bit, a over leaned he because ideas other had jacket Jean Logan nodded his head. “Can’t argue with that.” This guy was straight up guy straight nodded that.” waswith head. his This “Can’t Logan argue “It my arms. crossed and I sighed him, behind out of building the and in coming us, around People walked modeling face his bit, a back leaned and heart his at clutched Logan the back of my neck. warming rays the sun'sback at him, harsh I glanced your catch didn’t I Logan, “I’m shake. to me for hand his out stuck He it wasn’t hell the Why face. his on smile pleasant that had still He to eyes my trailed but statement his acknowledging up head my tilted I any struck that thing one find couldn’t I face, his searched I as Even myI raised eyebrows and nodded once. it’s“Mm hmm, fine.” Then made I I as far as but off, fall hand his make to subtly not shoulder my rolled I usually gets me places faster.” faster.” me places gets 90’s usually had kids do. My mother made sure that each of her kids had a had kids her of each that sure made mother My do. kids had usually 90’s way to their classes. I pointed to the doors, one clutching arm the red book widened. “damn.” was that with was he there thing, commonplace a became it Until fail. without start to tried he Then greeting. in wave but anything, say didn’t he week come up with acoherent thought. come up with would he hoping answers, sentence one him gave I first, At conversation. backin of me. of he’d both them, in and first theto Forsitting taken classes, of the corner of my eyes then back at him. My mind blanked. His smile smile His blanked. mind My him. at back then eyes my of corner the of I as And class. to went and turned I so altercation, this of out much expect it pulled I handle, open. door the Grabbing seat. my me cost he’d though even different with him with different the ofrest my class, eyes widened, and disturb myslightly tight lips pressed looked at the clock on my phone. There goes my seat. The crowd thinned, thinned, crowd The seat. my goes There phone. my on clock the at looked him again, this time with a little bit more speed. bit more alittle with time this again, him the from photographers pose angel that mirroring side, the to head his in his demeanor made me feel just a tiny bit guilty about my snippiness, snippiness, my about guilty bit tiny a just feel me made demeanor his in nicest the being wasn’t definitely I face. his on expression hopeful A name. I swear to god the universe was laughing at me. Logan was in two of my of two in was Logan me. at laughing was universe the god to swear I things out in my things head, but on I face. his could I feel still rounded on the grin eyes go I his met could my torso as far as around I’d When together. turned day Every masochist. a orhewas that either persistent, was boy white this person, person, and I was fully aware ofthatand I’m sure hewas too. Butsomething picture like that hanging proudly on her living room walls. He smiled real real smiled He walls. room living her on proudly hanging that like picture gone. was my seat predicted, again. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I’ll see you in class…” He was waiting for my for waiting was He class…” in you see I’ll guess I sorry. “Yeah, again. their made students as doors glass the of outside the on settled things and sweet, making me lean back a little in distrust. It was always something something always was It distrust. in little a back lean me making sweet, side.the to alittle drop my let head and hair. brown messy His patience. warm irritatingly that smile, bag on my shoulder.bag be discouraged and let me go about my business, but I’ll tell you something, you tell something, but I’ll melet go myand about business, discouraged be “I have class…so...” “I “…uh…thanks?” I turned back around to my desk slowly, trying to work to slowly,trying desk my to around back turned I “…uh…thanks?” out today.”looked I What? radiant especially you’re looking Tiana, “Hello something?” Ihelp you with “Can not as I to slowly Here quietly weonrounded him go again. “PSSSTTTT.” Oh my“…psssst.” goodness. “Psst.” didn’t I but back, come had smile his look, last one him gave “…Tiana.”I Logan nodded his head vigorously, his eyes darting to the floor and back to the floor vigorously,head eyes darting nodded his his Logan My eyebrows furrowed then loosened again a few times until I could could I until times few a again loosened then furrowed eyebrows My tilted then them, on chin his rested together, fingers his linked Logan think could I all and shifted hell moment where all exact feel the could I —

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 93 “No, I’m not upset with you-” with I’m“No, not upset your family.” meet to want “I was a good guy. How was I supposed to tell him all of this and have him him have and this of all him tell to supposed I was How guy. good a was you to my folks for a while now and…I ofwas kind hoping you’d want me to kindness.” with you’re mad at me? Did I do something to upset you.” upset to you’re atme? Ido mad something Did Don’t shut me out again. What’s bothering you?” bothering What’s Don’t shut me out again. of the from teddy my bears in lap. his bed cradled about him I teased always eyes. eyes. why“Then are yousoangry. You won’tto speak me, andme. it’skilling like feel it does Why news. the on cop that indict didn’t they since ever of that the ate guilt at whenme sometimes I because looked at another black disturbing the person behind him, I’m sure. But his smile had a twinge of twinge a had smile his But sure. I’m him, behind person the disturbing he’d always toss it to the side, like it’d damaged his masculinity, but I didn’t I but masculinity, his it’d like damaged side, the to it he’dtoss always too? lamb the he seen ankles, the at legs his crossing and out stretching chest, his across loosely have the chance to today. to chance have the rested both of his hands on my elbows, leaning down a bit to look into my into look to bit a down leaning elbows, my on hands his of both rested yours.” to myself it’s soon.” abit too normal. than faster speaking too...” He was your family meet introduce to wanting been I’ve but up, it brought never we’ve but months five for together been we’ve and ago month a you loved I you told I mean and over came he when subconsciously it do to seemed he that fact the it, sat on Logan my dorm bed, soft at warmly blue me.eyes staring He held one to himself. “You to himself. won’t hold my forhand longer a than in minute public. You of anger constant the frustration, every him, tell to supposed I was hell the How heart. my on settled weight heavy A interesting. so suddenly was tile person, and I was with him, it somehow felt like I was doing some great great some doing was I like felt somehow it him, with was I and person, systematic oppression, the fear of rejection of my friends my family…his, or myof family…his, my offriends the fear rejection oppression, systematic it. in smugness back back out I every time want to youbring out to meet my or friends introduce me. to coming was know. Ididn’t Nothing understand? Logan and wrong, anything done hadn’t I know I though even betrayal “Then what is it? Is this about the court decision? You’ve been on edge edge on been You’ve decision? court the about this Is it? is what “Then it said ever he’d only like quiet, was voice His me?” of ashamed “Areyou see.”“We’ll me kill gonna You’renot doing. you’re what know don’t I think “Don’t Logan slid offtheLogan of the sheet bed, slidemaking alittle off theof edge. He I and sighed heavily shook my else but everywhere head. Looking at him. of you —” “I’m not ashamed ceiling. upI looked atthe gray the like floor, the at down looked he and fell, face whole Logan’s think just “I but… no entirely Not this? avoiding been I Had lip. my bit I “I nervous. was he when that did He hair. his through hands his ran He “What?” face. the in dead him staring was I until up snapped head My failed. had superpower My in. way his wormed He’d somehow arms his folding chair, his in back leaning eyebrow, an raised Logan — Huh . Had . Had Read the full piece online at longriverreview.com at online piece full Read the whole world. If they weren’t making a big deal about the difficulties of the of difficulties the about deal big a weren’tmaking they If world.whole your mother to piss off if she thought this relationship would “screw you “screw would relationship this thought she if off piss to mother your committing some grave sin. It was the 21st century and every timeand weevery even somecentury grave thesin. It 21st was committing our backs.” I could see it in their eyes when we walked by, like we were we like by, walked we when eyes their in it see could I backs.” our over?” No, you anyway.” you Iwouldn’t to want wouldn’t, and deal?!” leaned close to each other it was like we were suddenly on display for the the for display on suddenly were we like was it other each to close leaned love you just because Ido.” up. He give didn’t love because you just her that you make me happy and I hope to hell all that I make you happy too, eainhp ter red wr mkn jks bu “wrig ad l of all and “swirling” about jokes making were friends their relationship, I scratched. be to needed that itch an it felt like relationship?! If they don’t like it or whatever the hell else, then they can can they then else, hell the whatever or it like don’t they If relationship?! just piss off. It’s as simple as that.” as simple as off. It’s piss just force than I’d planned. “You’re I’dforce planned. than You’re Okay! white! I’m and black and white their kids looking like neither of them. It grated on you. It grated of them. neither like looking kids their and that is is that and big a such that is whyother, each lovewho people two Werejust what! so know “Come on Tee…”“Come about think people other what about much so care you do “Why The words bubbled to my tongue and left my mouth with a lot more a with my mouth left and tongue my to bubbled words The So back,wastime butmuch itfeeling insistent. this gnawing wasso That I bit my lip, my hands fumbling each overother. fumbling I bit my lip, my hands off, tell I’d piss to her tell wouldn’t I “No, head. his rolling huffed, Logan tell you Would simple. that not “It’s elbow. my of off hand his shook I “You him. know why at such it’s a big mydeal.” finger I pointed You’re white, I’mwhat. black, “So nose. his of bridge the pinched Logan you see the looks people give us, you know what they say behind behind say they what know you us, give people looks the see you again all that matters. Besides when you meet her I know she’ll she’ll know I her meet you when Besides matters. that all our

LONG RIVER REVIEW VOLUME 22 95 Because Even Titanic Sunk

VERONICA SCHORR

and that’s how Fabrizio died, poor bastard: the metallic taste of smokestack in his lungs, con niente, the scene a ball of baitfish. I imagine being schizophrenic before Seroquel was like the fifteenth of April, 1912. All that noise, then nothing. Mush How Much Can You Take Photography Mixed Media OMAR TAWEH

JOHNNY KOEKEE Recycled Art Mixed Media

JOHNNY KOEKEE

Look Back Monoprint

OLIVIA BALDWIN COURTNEY HAIGLER has published literary essays in James Hillhouse High Literary Magazine on humanity and prize winning essays“ Who They Really Are" and “Black Lives Lost" in the area as well. She is working toward her bachelor's degree in creative writing from the University of Contributor Biographies Connecticut.

AIN JEONG is a second- semester English master’s student at the University of Connecticut. She is studying multicultural American literature with interests in Asian American studies, digital media, and visual culture. She enjoys other people's poetry but does not consider herself a poet, aside from the occasional fun haiku.

SOPHIA BRUCE is a high school senior at ACES Educational Center for the Arts in New Haven. She likes train rides and alphabetically-ordered lists. J. KATES is a poet and literary translator who lives in Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire. MATHIESON BYER is a sixth semester student studying philosophy at the University of Connecticut. She grew up in New York, but plans on moving STELLA KOZLOSKI is a second semester student at the University of west after graduation. She enjoys logic and debate, and hopes to become a Connecticut studying studio art. If you hear a cover of a Leonard Cohen litigator in the future. song floating out of the Buckley lounge, it's probably her.

KERRY CARNAHAN is from Kansas. After a decade working as an FRANZISKA LEE is a high school junior at the Educational Center for the Arts environmentalist, she now pursues doctoral studies in English at UConn in New Haven. Her passions include the ocean, prolific female writers, and where she is translating the Song of Songs. Her poems have appeared comics. Right now, she would really like to get into college. in Boston Review and she was a runner-up in the 2017 92Y 'Discovery'/Boston Review poetry contest. She is a former Fulbright DANIELLE PIERATTI is a first year PhD student in English at the University Scholar and MacDowell Fellow. of Connecticut. Her first book of poems,Fugitives , was published by Lost Horse Press in 2016. She teaches high school English and lives in SEAN CAVANAUGH is a junior at University of Connecticut. He studies Connecticut with her husband and two children. English and psychology, but spends his free time working on creative writing projects and performing with the University of Connecticut's CASSANDRA QUAYSON is a seventeen-year-old high school senior and Reckless Gents Improv Troupe. aspiring author who will be studying English at NYU this fall. Her motto is, “The trouble with having all these notions of what I’d like to read is that no ELLEN FULLER is a freshman double majoring in chemistry education and one’s written it yet. So I’ll write it myself.” young adult and children's science fiction (individualized major). She hopes to be a high school chemistry teacher and published novelist. BENJAMIN RADCLIFFE is a senior at the University of Connecticut with a dual degree in English and anthropology. After he graduates, he plans on CHRISTOPHER GARDNER is a fourth-year English major at the Univeristy becoming a deckhand and sailing the open sea. of Connecticut Waterbury Campus. He would like to thank the excellent English department there, especially Tom Dulack for his guidance on this ISABELLA SARACENI is a multi-material visual artist whose current work piece. explores memory and experiences of womanhood. She is a senior studio art major concentrating in painting with a minor in art history. ALYSSA GRIMALDI is a sixth-semester English major at the University of Connecticut. She is passionate about literature and hopes to one day work VERONICA SCHORR is a senior pursuing a double major in psychology and in the field of publishing. She is inspired by her time travelling abroad, English with a concentration in creative writing. Most recently, she was especially her time in the Scottish Highlands and Iceland. published in Chronogram magazine. FATIMA SIRAJ is a fourth semester student at Habib University in Pakistan. KA YING (ANGELA) KWOK is a business major who has never stopped her She is studying social development and policy, with a minor in history. She love for the arts. While she is not studying and working hard, she is holed has a keen interest in writing and conducts poetry workshops in schools up in her room drawing and writing, and posts successful pieces on her to encourage young students towards the literary world. She hopes to dorm room door, offering joy to those who walk past. contribute to Pakistan's literary landscape. JOHNNY KOEKEE is an artist from Connecticut. He is interested in fine arts, ANNA ROSE STROSSER is a 4th semester English major at the University of writing, comedy, and television. In the coming year, he hopes to continue Connecticut. She writes poetry and enjoys reading Charles Bukowski and developing his art style as well as publish his first book. Philip Larkin.

OMAR TAWEH is a senior with a dual degree in neurobiology & psychology, and a minor in human rights. His photography comments on the individual impact of societal expectations.

LAUREN VALLEDOR is is a senior undergraduate student studying English with a minor in biological sciences. She plans to attend law school in the fall of 2020. Her hobbies include climbing, crocheting, and reading.

OLIVIA BALDWIN is a visual artist and a current MFA candidate in studio art at the University of Connecticut. She received her BFA in painting and photography and BA in English and creative writing from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Her work, which spans painting, sculpture, and installation, has been exhibited in solo and group exhibitions in Austria, Italy, and throughout the United States, including A.I.R. Gallery, Boston University’s Faye G., Jo, and James Gallery, and Jane Lombard Gallery.

DAN CRIBLEZ is a graduating sculpture major at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts. Dan has created a body of work consisting of different mediums of art including: film, installation, sound, painting, and sculpture. Experimenting within those mediums has brought the abstraction of his mind to life. He will be releasing his debut short film depicting the relationship between the realism and abstraction of the human mind and sound album this coming summer along with his paintings and sculptures. Dan plans to move to Bushwick, Brooklyn after graduation to continue his art and film career.

JACOB McGINNIS lives in the woods of New Hampshire with his family, just off of the long river.

TAYLOR GIORGETTI is a second year fine arts student at the University of Connecticut. Interested in both graphic design and photography, she enjoys showing people the world around them through new perspectives that might have otherwise gone unseen. Colophon

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