Volume 45 - Issue 04 - Friday, October 2, 2009

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 10-2-2009

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 45 - Issue 04 - Friday, October 2, 2009" (2009). The Rose Thorn Archive. 106. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/106

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2009 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 45, ISSUE 4 Homecoming 2009 News Briefs By Alex Mullans It was a culmination of a few Health care bill weeks of work and a long engi- discussed in earnest neering education condensed into just one night. I’ll never forget it. The talk of “death panels” and other such nonsense was finally replaced by some substantive debate on the new health care reform bill. The controversial new amend- “ -Chris Wlezien ment to tighten the restrictions on federal funding of abortion failed by a vote of 13-10 in the Senate Finance Committee. Some fear that the bill will lose Catholic support as a result, but abortion supporters feel that the current language is an acceptable com- promise. ” Another hot topic in the debate right now is preventing illegal immigrants from getting federal funds. Senator Charles Grassley Tim Ekl After the rally, students head- of Iowa proposed another amendment that Photo Editor ed to the Intramural fields would have required a government is- to observe the 87th annual sued ID when applying for Medicaid. This ive ‘em hell, Rose. bonfire being lit. This year’s amendment also failed 13-10. Those four words, lighting involved a fireball Gspoken by Rose-Hul- launched from a trebuchet, Microsoft releases man President Matt Branam a much quicker and more ef- at last Friday’s pep rally, kicked fective lighting method than free antivirus off this year’s Homecoming last year’s bow-and-arrow ap- celebration. Apart from hav- proach. software ing a new president, this year’s The trebuchet, positioned Homecoming introduced about 35 yards from the bon- Microsoft announced the release of Mi- a novel method for lighting fire itself, was built by three se- crosoft Security Essentials, a free antivi- the bonfire, and saw Johanna nior mechanical engineering rus software package for Windows PCs, on Moore, junior applied biology students and could target an Tuesday of this week. It is based on Micro- major, win the Homecoming area roughly three feet across. soft’s antivirus software, Windows Live On- Queen elections over thirteen Saturday continued the cel- eCare, and is intended for consumers with other candidates. ebration with Rose-Hulman’s no current antivirus protection on their PC. The festivities began with game against Mt. St. Joseph. Like Windows Defender, it is designed with the rally, held in the SRC at The Engineers suffered a high- a simple interface. 7:00 p.m. After introducing scoring and close-fought de- A Symantec spokesperson criticized Mi- Rose-Hulman’s fall sports feat, with the final score 38-45 crosoft’s signature-based approach to secu- teams and highlighting their in favor of the Lions. rity, claiming that Symantec’s behavioral se- successes, first-year President Overall, this year’s Home- curity was much more effective. AVG seems Branam addressed the stu- coming saw more than 2,000 riled up for an anti-trust lawsuit, claiming dent body before congratu- alumni return to Rose-Hul- that MSE “poses all sorts of interesting anti- lating and crowning Moore as man. trust questions.” Nonetheless, many web Queen. “A lot of alums got to interact opinions seem to be of the mind that a price “I was really surprised [to with students, and they were war may be imminent, though whether this win],” Moore said of her vic- blown away,” Brian Dyer, Ex- is true remains to be seen. tory. “I was honored to be ecutive Director of Alumni Af- nominated but I wasn’t really fairs, said. “We got a very posi- Earthquakes rock expecting to win.” tive reaction.” the South Pacific On Wednesday morning, a magnitude 7.6 earthquake occurred 30 miles off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia; this quake followed Tuesday’s 8.0 quake in the Sa- moas, which caused a tsunami. The current death toll from the two quakes is ap- proaching 200 people, and is expected to Homecoming is definitely my fa- grow as rescue efforts continue through devastated and flattened buildings. vorite weekend of the year... other Indonesians were left with little time to evacuate, given the fast-moving nature of schools can only dream about par- the tsunami. The Pacific Tsunami Warning tying on our level. Center in Ewa Beach, Hawaii, sounded the alarm, but the tsunami had already started to reach land by the time an alert was “ -Brandon Abad possible.

Tim Ekl / Rose Thorn In this issue of the Rose Thorn... Places in Terre

” Athlete of the Haute Career Fair

NEWS OPINIONS Week:

F Kate Sernett LIPSIDE 4 LIVING 6 ENTERTAINMENT 3 Batman Dictionary words 8 Corey Salem Memorial Ride 5

7SPORTS

8 PAGE -

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 LIVING - PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLES & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn The Magic Number Movie Quote of the Week By Andrew Klusman By Andrew Klusman Instructions: Solve the puzzle by deciphering the following quote and Instructions: ﬁgure out from which movie the quote is. Each letter repre- Using addition (+), subtraction (-), mul- sents a different letter in the alphabet. tiplication (*), and division (/), solve the puzzle by using all the given numbers only Hint (Solution = Crypto): once to equal the Magic Number. A = J B = Y C = W 5 12 29 62 66 “EQXWGVQ, OGIIT”? “VJPQ TGCMOQXB JF UGVQ”? ______, _ _ _ _ _? ______? ___ + ___ + ___ * ___ * ___ = 4051 “VJMMT VT RJCLUFQM”? TGC’HQ LGF FG 12 16 24 51 72 ______? _ _ _’______* ___ + ___ + ___ - ___ = 907 MQVQVYQM FUJF FUQOQ JMQ ACOF OSVNXQ 13 68 70 78 78 ______+ ___ - ___ - ___ * ___ = -6073 BJMVQMO. FUQOQ JMQ NQGNXQ GB FUQ XJIR. ______. ______. 43 63 80 89 99 ___ * ___ + ___ - ___ + ___ = 7127 FUQ WGVVGI WXJT GB FUQ IQE EQOF. TGC ______. _ _ _

Find the answers to all Rose Thorn puzzles at: PIGE... VGMGIO. http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn _ _ _ _... _ _ _ _ _. CLASSIFIEDS

Apartments for rent House for rent Campus and Community Luncheon Now renting 1 & 2 & 3 bedroom apts 3 bedroom, 4 bedroom, spacious, quiet for study, The fall CAMPUS & COMMUNITY LONCHEON SE- 9 month lease available EXTRA NICE! RIES at United Campus Ministries, 321 N. 7th St., Terre no pets please Call 232-6977, please leave phone number. Haute, begins Wednesday, October 7. The presenta- tions are from 12 Noon to 1:00 PM, and continue each Wednesday through November 4. This series theme is “Perspectives on Poverty.” The ﬁrst topic is Cultures of Poverty: What We Need to Know. This topic will be Three, four and ﬁve bedroom houses Swags Tees and More presented by Dr. Ronda Impink, Dept of Social Work, Central air, two plus baths, two car garages, all appli- Custom printed tees hoodies etc. for all events. ISU, and Dr. Tom Steiger, Dept. of Sociology, ISU. This ances, 6-12 month leases, 5 minutes+ drive from town Call 232-6947 for prices. is a brown bag lunch and discussion series for college 812-236-4646 2950 S 7th Street students, college faculty and staff, and Terre Haute and Low Prices and Fast Turnaround the surrounding community. For more information call [email protected] 232-0186, or visit our web page at ucm.indstate.edu.

Editorial Staff The Rose Thorn Thorn Staff

Co-Editor in Chief Scott Gallmeier CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Staff Writers Eli Baca Co-Editor in Chief Andrew Klusman Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Matthew Bryant News Editor Noel Spurgeon Phone:(812)877-8255 Annie Bullock Entertainment Editor Ben Collins Fax: (812)877-8166 Andrew Ernster Living Editor Melissa Schwenk E-mail: [email protected] Mitchell Ishmael Alexander Mullans Opinions Editor Christine Price http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Sports Editor Tim Boyer Lindsey Saxton Humor Editor James Zhou Elliot Simon Co-Copy Editor Clint Thompson “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Hobey Tam Co-Copy Editor Carly Baehr by providing an accurate and J.P. Verkamp Photo Editor Tim Ekl dependable source for news and information.” Layout Manager Cari Harper The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays ﬁrst through ninth week each quarter.

Administrative Staff Cartoonist Carly Baehr

Advertising Manager Lindsey Saxton Business Manager Andrew Carlson Photographers Albert Mui Webmaster Tom W. Most Mike Reis Advisor Richard House Matt Vargo

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. THREE DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, October 2, 2009 NEWS 3 Blood drive a Pikes ride to honor fallen brother great success Matt Melton “Salem was always stoked about ed a plaque containing multiple Staff Writer his motorcycle,” said Senior Jarod pictures of Salem to commemo- Alexander Mullans snacks were available (and they Markley, Salem’s little brother in rate his character and dedication Staff Writer were tasty, I can tell you!). On a The open road. The wind in your the Pike fraternity. “He had just to Pike. They also have Salem’s less instant-gratification level, hair. Riding with brothers. Cory Sa- gotten a bike at the beginning of cue, originally his father’s, which I always used to think blood you should also receive mail with lem loved doing all of these things, the summer, and he got a second they also plan on hanging in the was red. I mean, watch enough your blood type, so you can fig- and now his family and friends en- job to get all the things he wanted room alongside the other plaques. detective/CSI style shows, and ure out just how rare (or not) you joy them in his memory. to get for his bike like a helmet, The pool table was completely you always see people spurting are. Last Sunday, Pi Kappa Alpha jacket, and gloves. He used to just re-felted, with the crest of Pike in a bright red liquid. We even have Seriously though, it would ap- hosted the second annual Cory Sa- sit on the bike and turn the throttle the center and underneath it the a color called “blood red.” But, pear that the blood drive was lem Motorcycle Ride to celebrate and make the revving noises like a inscription “In Loving Memory of when I gave blood Tuesday, I no- a great success. With 113 pints Salem’s love of motorcycle riding. little kid. It was pretty funny.” Cory Salem, September 3rd, 1987 ticed that my little sack of blood collected on Tuesday and an ad- The annual ride was created in Salem’s love of riding was shared – September 3rd 2008.” The rest was distinctly not red; rather, it ditional 144 pints on Wednesday, honor of the former Rose student by his brothers in the Pike fraterni- of the room was also refinished, had a definitively purple hue. Rose-Hulman students donated who died tragically on his 21st ty, some of whom came from as far resulting in a pool room that has Now, being the smart Rose- a total of 257 pints of blood. Giv- birthday in September 2008. The away as Florida to join in this year’s been described as “beautiful” and Hulman student you are, you en the standard math that your day began at the Pike house, where ride. The riders from Pike were “ballin’ ” by its players. naturally gave blood at the donation can save up to three the bikers met up and shared sto- joined by Salem’s mother Mary, his Another goal of the ride was to Blood Drive this past Tuesday or lives, that means that our com- ries of Salem before riding to Rose’s sister Chelsea, his uncle, and other raise funds for the Corey Salem Wednesday. (If you didn’t, maybe munity has saved somewhere in campus. They then took a tour of bikers from the Rose community. Memorial Scholarship, which was someone will be along this week- the region of 257 lives this week! Rose and began the winding, two- The day of remembrance cul- set up by Salem’s parents soon af- end to forcibly extract it from The blood drive was run by Indi- hour journey through Vigo, Clay, minated with the dedication of the ter the accident. The scholarship you.) It was quite the party in the ana Blood Center, which gives an and Owen counties. The riders Corey Salem Memorial Pool Room is awarded annually to an incom- Kahn rooms as various victims average of 550 pints of blood to took US 42 west across the three and Pool Table. Along with his mo- ing freshman to help defray some donors moved through the ques- Indiana hospitals every day. Na- counties until they reached Owl torcycle, Salem was an avid pool of the costs of attending Rose. Pike tionnaires and finger pricks be- tionwide, the need for blood in- Hollow road, which they took U.S. player, and could always be found hopes to continue the ride to raise fore hitting the big time (and the creases 9% every year, especially 46 before looping back on Route playing several games once classes funds for the scholarship, and to big needle). There were incen- during summer months and hol- 59 and US 42. The group covered were over. “He was the resident remember a fallen friend whose tives, though, because as soon idays when accidents are much roughly 70 miles, all the while re- pool shark,” said Markley. love of motorcycles and Pike will as the blood was collected, tasty more likely. membering the fallen comrade. The members of Pike construct- never be forgotten. A new life in the ‘land of the free’

Shabab Sidiqui citizens.” citizens from Japan to be natural- Daily Texan Parsons said the ceremony, ized during Tuesday’s ceremony. which is held once a year, ties in “Oh, she’s ecstatic,” Weath- A crowd packed Austin’s Dr. with the bar association’s goal to ers said of his wife. “She’s been Exalton and Wilhelmina Delco “work with the federal courts to wanting this for a really long Activity Center on Tuesday as if promote justice.” time. It’s a real big deal to her. It a much-anticipated basketball “They’ve struggled for years to took us nine years just to get to game were about to be played. legally enter the U.S. and many this process.” Friends and family members of times had to be separated from While Mr. Weathers is a citizen the people gathered on the main their loved ones who are patient- himself, many of the supporters floor sat on the edge of their seats ly waiting outside of the U.S.,” he in the stands were not. waiting for the defining moment said. “They’ve paid their taxes. Wilfredo Guzman, an Austin as young children enthusiasti- They’ve learned English. They’ve painter, said he came to watch cally waved five-by-eight inch displayed good, moral charac- his sister become the first in his American flags. ter. Many of them have excelled family to be naturalized after Mario Ortiz, district direc- in our school systems. These are coming to America from Guate- tor for the U.S. Citizenship and outstanding immigrants who mala 22 years ago. Immigration Services, made an have made a choice to go the ad- Wilfredo said his sister’s deci- apology to the crowd. ditional step to qualify for U.S. sion to be naturalized is due to “I’m sorry we’re taking your citizenship.” a change in the political climate green card away from you,” Ortiz Foreigners interested in be- in the U.S. said. “But most of you didn’t like coming U.S. citizens often face “None of us were really inter- the picture anyway.” years-long, uncertain waiting ested in it for a long time,” Wil- A naturalization ceremony lines. fredo said. “Now, the immigra- Tuesday afternoon honored 746 Even after an individual is giv- tion is so tough on people. [My immigrants who came to Central en permission to immigrate, he sister] had heard stories about Texas from 86 countries. U.S. Dis- or she remains a registered alien immigration deporting people Courteusy of Bethany Baker trict Judge Lee Yeakel presided and must wait years before ap- with resident’s cards. She has The brothers of Pi Kappa Alpha and their guests prepare for the Second over the ceremony, which was plying for permanent residency, three children, and she doesn’t Annual Cory Salem Motorcycle Ride. The ride is designed to honor Cory hosted by the Austin Chapter of also known as a green card. Usu- want to risk that.” Salem, a brother who passed away last year the Federal Bar Association. ally, green cards are not distrib- After the ceremony ended, “We think that it’s important uted unless an individual has a friends and family congratu- that new United States citizens job or has met other government lated the new citizens on the receive recognition for their de- prerequisites. main floor. Alfonso Perez from cision,” said Paul Parsons, the Individuals then must wait a Mexico, who had been waiting former president of the chapter. minimum of five years before ap- for citizenship since he was five “The members of the [bar] are plying for full citizenship. years old, stood with his five- proud to help support these cer- David Weathers, an Austin year-old daughter on his arm. emonies to recognize the con- electrician, said he and his two “It feels great,” Perez said. “It tributions of these immigrants children came to the ceremony just feels great to be completely and salute them to become U.S. to support his wife, one of two part of this country.”

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news- thorn@rose-hulman.edu October 5-9, 2009 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Our Lady Peace’s less- than-triumphant return The end note for a legacy

Kyle Schmelz Eli Baca from looking like Tim Drake, G u e s t W r i t e r Staff Writer and draws each character with a unique precision to capture Coming back with their fi rst Batman made his fi rst ap- the raw emotions of the novel. album in four years, Our Lady pearance in the comic world in There are some panels in the Peace released “Burn Burn” on “Detective Comics” #27, which novel that tell the most vivid July 21st this year. While Our was published in May 1939. Due story, and then there are some Lady Peace is one of my favor- to the character’s popularity, downright awesome panels— ite bands and they have a very Batman was given his own self- just wait for the Batman to rise solid discography behind them, titled comic in May 1940 which from the dead; it’s pure genius. I wasn’t quite sure what to ex- has since become a monthly Daniel’s art is practically fl aw- pect from this album. Their last publication. “Batman R.I.P. De- less—he even captures the truly album, “Healthy in Paranoid luxe Edition” collects “Batman” grotesque Joker in a way that http://www.media.wmg-is.com Times,” was a severe disappoint- #676-683, which were originally makes your insides churn. ment. Problems with the album released between June and No- “R.I.P.” is a masterpiece that ran the gamut from production ics are bland, the instrumentals vember back in 2008, and gets brings years of Batman history problems—the album shared are verging on boring, and the Batman’s last case summed up to the fore, and still makes the producers with Metallica’s “St. album just doesn’t sound right. in one fi nal adventure. mystery awesomely interesting. Anger”—to the inclusion of So- On top of that, the album clocks Although the story is called Throughout the novel, the read- ny’s “extended copy protection” in at only 45 minutes—and that’s “R.I.P.,” the arc isn’t about Bat- http://media.comicvine.com ers (and Tim Drake) are learning malware on the CD. “Healthy the “deluxe” version of the CD. man dying, but about how Bruce Wayne, the original and what makes the Batman tick, in Paranoid Times” was by far That’s only 38 minutes without Batman will remain forever a possibly the best Batman, has and how he has used his years of Our Lady Peace’s worst album. the bonus tracks. legend. The world’s greatest de- been imortalized by Morrison. studying, working out, and tor- I held out hope, though. This “Burn Burn” isn’t without its tective—and in the comic world, ture to prepare him for this ul- hope was encouraged earlier this high points, though. While it the greatest mind ever—is faced Morrison takes the reins as writ- timate test of wits. The fusion of year when they announced that doesn’t live up to Our Lady Peace’s with the trial of his life, the ulti- er and delivers a story that fans the arc with Batman’s past and “Burn Burn” would sound like other releases, it’s still a decent mate mystery, the best that any will forever remember. He takes journal entries makes the novel a more mature version of “Nav- CD. “Paper Moon” in particular bad guy (or group of bad guys) readers further into the recesses a complete, stand-alone work of eed,” their fi rst album and my makes me want to reconsider the has been able to come up with, of Batman’s mind than has been art. personal favorite. whole album. It’s a soft, simple and he ends up buried alive. Lit- attempted before, and holy gua- Whether you’ve been a fan for Side note—in case you fi nd song, but it’s got a certain quality erally. The novel is full of twists camole, Batman! This guy makes years or this is your fi rst venture yourself asking who Our Lady to it that I can’t deny. “The End is and turns, betrayals, laughter, Sherlock Holmes look like Ace in the land of Batman comics, Peace is, look up the songs Where We Begin,” though poppy, blood, and a last rites spin fea- Ventura, and he’s got more emo- “R.I.P.” is sure to have you on “Superman’s Dead,” “Life,” or contains elements of the band’s turing my favorite butler, Al- tional angst than the entire cast your heels with adventure and “Angels (Losing Sleep).” You’ll earlier works and makes a solid fred. of “The Secret Life of the Ameri- mind-bending turns at every probably recognize at least one single. “Monkey Brains” also The Black Glove has laid out can Teen.” The writing through- page. Rarely has a comic event of them. stands out, but its powerful bass years of plans to crush the Dark out the novel is superb, keeping shut down other storylines, However, the album that beat and high-distortion guitar Knight from the inside out. The the Joker laughing and really but the ending of “R.I.P.” is also came out was not at all what I solo are undermined by weak entire arc is about breaking Bat- bringing out the Batman: it’s no an ending of the “Nightwing,” expected. I thought there were lyrics and a soft section in the man in his mind, from “uncover- wonder Mr. Morrison is an Eis- “Robin,” and “Birds of Prey” two possibilities: “Burn Burn” middle of the song that seems to ing” evidence about his parents ner Award winner. comics. But with death comes would be the best album of the come from nowhere. to implanting a secret phrase The yin to Morrison’s yang is life, and new comic titles have year or the worst. I really didn’t Overall, “Burn Burn” is a de- that “turns off” the Batman, and the relatively new artist Tony come out of the change. see it coming when “Burn Burn” cent album. It’s not bad, which the roller-coaster that Batman’s Daniel, who has become famous ended up being one of the most is about the best I can say for it, mind takes is one sure to leave due to his work on the Batman Reviewer rating: 5.0 elephants generic albums of my collection. but it is disappointing. Given readers gasping for breath. series. Daniel’s portrayal of the Our Lady Peace has always been the band’s history and previous Master Batman writer Grant characters keeps Bruce Wayne known for their interesting lyrics, hits, I was hoping for more. experimental guitar tracks, and Reviewer rating: 2.5 elephants cohesive sound, but this new al- Uncle Cracker, 10/9 Nelly, 10/16 bum doesn’t showcase any of Pierre’s in Ft. Wayne Bloomington those qualities. Instead, its lyr- Concert They Might Be Updates Giants, 10/10, Gwar, 10/15, Vogue Theatre in Indy Vogue Theatre in Indy

Phoenix “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”

Ben Smith Music: Movies: Games: Monkey Writer AFI Zombieland Risen After seeing the band perform Crash Love (PC) on Saturday Night Live this summer, I decided to check out The Invention Phoenix’s latest album, “Wolf- Alice in Chains of Lying Gran Turismo gang Amadeus Phoenix,” to see Black Gives if it was as good as the perfor- (PSP) mance made it seem. I wasn’t Way To Blue Whip It disappointed. Almost every Kingdom Hearts: song feels like it could easily fit Breaking Benjamin Toy Story I & II 3D into the soundtrack of a John http://www.wikipedia.org 358/2 Days Hughes film—don’t worry, this Dear Agony (DS) is a good thing. The mixture half too long, and the build-up it Capitalism: of guitar and synthesizers on produces only makes part two’s Foreigner A Love Story opening tracks “Lisztomania” climax all the more disappoint- Ninja Gaiden and “1901” creates something ing. The rest of the album picks Can’t Slow Down Sigma 2 that’s both modern and famil- up where the first three tracks The Boys are Back (PS3) iar—a nod to the sounds of the left off, with “Lasso” and “Ar- Tokio Hotel 80s without becoming an exact mistice” being particular high- copy. lights. If you like 80s-influenced Humanoid DVD: Valhalla Knights: That’s not to say that the al- pop/rock, you’ll find something Elder Saga bum is flawless. “Love Like a to like on this album. Paramore Monsters vs. Aliens Sunset,” a two-part, mostly in- (Wii) strumental song, breaks up the Brand New Eyes Reviewer rating: 4.5 elephants flow that the tracks that come before it create. Part 1 plods along for about a minute and a Friday, October 2, 2009 LIVING 5 How to: work the Career Fair Melissa Schwenk you’re unique and any relevant L i v i n g E d i t o r information that’s not on your resumé. The counselors can help Last year I was not ready to you with this as well. You can meet companies at the Career also practice interviewing with Fair. I was ready to do something them. They will film you and you cool during my summer, make can see any ticks you might need a lot of money, and buy a lot of to work on. clothes, but my resumé was not The next step to getting the ready to get me anywhere, and job you want is to work the Ca- my interactions with recruiters reer Fair. Presentation will go a were more likely to embarrass long way here. Dressing for the me than to get me an interview. job you want (future CEO) and I hadn’t done enough company not the job you have (poor col- research, and conversations fell lege student) is important. Don’t flat after my thirty second sales show up in jeans and a T-shirt; pitch. Here are some ways to pre- this is most likely your first inter- pare yourself over the weekend action with the company and will for the Career Fair and for your probably determine whether or job search. not you get an There are interview. If three steps to Dressing for the you have doubts landing the about your out- job of your job you want (fu- fit, take it to choice: prepar- Career Services ing, working ture CEO) and not and show them. the career fair, Your outfit and following the job you have should be mod- up. Each part is est with few ac- important and “(poor college stu- cessories, simi- if you blow off lar to what you one, you’ll hurt dent) is important. would wear to your chances of the interview. Colin Shipley / Guest photographer getting the job Before you you want. talk to the recruiters, review your A senior Rose-Hulman student shows off his Career Fair skills at the Rockwell Collins booth at last year’s Preparing for the Career Fair is sales pitch, talking points, and fall Career Fair. your first step. Begin by updating the company’s profile. If you are your resumé. Add all your rele- nervous about talking to recruit- vant summer activities and make ”ers, warm up with the compa- Student-alumni friendships sure you update your contact in- nies you aren’t as excited about. formation. Keep your resumé all When you talk to the recruiter, Mitchell Ishmael old friends, we didn’t have the are part of something special, on one page, as insiders in Hu- make sure you get their contact Staff Writer conversations that we used to College has been a great time in man Resources will tell you that information before walking away. have. There always will be the, my life so far, and I have thor- second pages often get thrown Ask for the best way to follow up I knew it was Homecoming “How are you doing?” or “What is oughly enjoyed sharing it with away. Once your resumé is up to and with whom, and how soon when I walked up to the Union having a job like?” but other than my friends. I guess most of my date, it’s time to head to Career you should do so. only to be greeted by the Porsche, that, most of the alumni I talked old alumni friends have moved Services. One of the counselors The last part to landing the job Lexus, and Lotus beside the en- to couldn’t carry a conversation on to a new set of experiences in or peer advisors can look at your you want is the follow-up. This trance. “The alumni are back,” their lives, and that has made us resumé and help you improve it. is where having their contact in- one of my friends said, and I just What used to be not as close as we once were. These people are professionals formation is key. Career Services laughed and said, “Yep.” The There are a few alumni, though, and can spot things you might can be of great help if you haven’t campus was bursting with life hours upon hours with whom I’ve maintained great not notice or help you if you get written one of these letters be- from Friday night until Sunday friendships. We talk and have in- stuck. fore. The note you send should morning. This past Homecom- of talk about soc- side jokes, which leads me to this While you’re in the office, do be concise and well-written. If ing weekend, as most Home- question: why do I still have great a little company research. Start you don’t follow up with the com- comings are, was a good time cer, school, or friendships with some alumni looking at the company profiles pany, they might assume that at Rose. A lot of alumni come and not with others? The conclu- of the ones you want to visit at you aren’t really interested. It is back and the students get to what was going sion that I have drawn is that the the Career Fair. On the Career your job to keep them interested see Rose’s past, and the alumni “ survival of friendships, ultimate- Services website there are many in you, so don’t get so wrapped get a glimpse at Rose’s future. It on in the world ly, must be based on the founda- videos about companies avail- up in life at Rose that you forget is one of the few times at Rose tions they are built upon. able for your viewing pleasure. If about them. when everyone comes togeth- turned into It has to do with how will- you need help directing your re- While following these steps er and has a good time, collec- ing the involved parties are in search, ask for help. The counsel- doesn’t guarantee you a job from tively. pleasantries. maintaining the friendship. If ors can tell you what to look for, this Career Fair, practicing these Many alumni of my frater- neither one is ready to give it such as location specialization skills will definitely help you make nity came back to visit this up and they keep in touch with for firms with multiple branches. a good impression. Getting a foot past year. The house was filled like we used to. What used to be each other, the friendship will Once you’ve done your re- in the door is the first step. If you with brothers, and when we hours upon hours of talk about stay strong. I have been lucky search, come up with two or three have any other questions about went out to dinner, they had to soccer, school, or what was go- enough to do this with a few talking points and a sales pitch the Career Fair, take a trip to Career keep bringing tables in from out- ing on in the world turned into alumni, and I hope to be better for each company. Remember, Services. They’ll be happy to help. side because there were so many pleasantries. ” in the future about maintaining you’ll be starting and carrying Happy Hunting! of us. I really enjoyed seeing the That got me thinking about my friendships, because Jackie the conversation, so being pre- If you have something you want old faces from my freshman and Rose and school and what it is Robinson was right when he pared for each company can help explained, send your questions to sophomore years. like taking classes and going said, “A life is not important ex- ease the stress. Your sales pitch the Thorn! You just might see a The funny thing is, though I through the same experiences cept in the impact that it has on should tell the company why How-To Article about it. really enjoyed seeing most of my together. When you’re here, you other lives.”

Ladies’ Man: Freshman couples Are you Elliot Simon Statistically, only one in every Computer Architecture project. good luck. You can count the Staff Writer four guys is even capable of We have to implement a proces- number of women in your de- dating a Rose girl (leaving out sor on an FPGA using...” She in- partment on your hands while Dear Ladies’ Man, complications; double-dipping terrups you, asking, “What’s an eating a sandwich). A quick alive? I’ve been noticing a lot of is possible), lowered again by FPGA?” and the conversation and easy rundown on Rose freshman couples walking the number of off-campus boy- just goes downhill from there. women concocted years ago by around campus together. As friends. Even then, allegations Or even the little mannerisms a friend of mine for those not in Write about it a single freshman is there any have been made (by professors that get thrown into speech, the know goes something like hope for me? who shall remain nameless) that such as, “each one has a dif- this: women at Rose are like and send it to -Single ‘13 Rose gentlemen should look for ferent number, like quantum parking spaces. The good ones a humanities major, the yin to states of electrons…” Point is, are already taken unless you ar- Dear Single, your yang, if you will. While I’m your best bet is finding a lady at rive early or get lucky and the [email protected] Don’t worry too much; fresh- sure that opposites attract, keep Rose. Odds are she’ll be hard- guy before you just left. Hope- man relationships are all about in mind the amount of explana- working and intelligent, and if fully in the Thanksgiving break finding yourself now that you’re tion that will go into a regular you’re really lucky she may even turnover you can impress some outside of the influence of your conversation. “What are you share your major (if you’re not lucky lady, until then, I suggest parents (a first time for many). working on?” “I’m working on a an ME, Civil or Biology major, homework. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn Letter to the Editor seriously. Mark Minster

During Homecoming week- get that others don’t know God, greatest joys in life becomes be- We English teachers are good for a few things in this world. We catch end at Rose, I came across a even though we live in a Christian ing able to communicate with spelling mistakes (Word’s spell-check suggests “couscous” if you mis- copy of the Rose Thorn. Having nation, where there are countless the One who, by definition, is spell “conscience” and lets “manor” for “manner” slide every time). We been a consistent reader dur- opportunities to learn about God pure love (I John 4:16). What an recommend books. And we can help beef up your vocabulary. ing my years at Rose, I thought it and His love. opportunity we have. For some- Years ago, just out of college, I spent half a summer wandering would be entertaining to peruse The latter reaction became one to cast that aside, claiming around Oxford, Ohio, with no money and nothing to do. So I did what what interesting things students stronger as I ruminated on what that those who gather at the pole any poor, soon-to-be graduate student would do. I read the diction- have to say in 2009. As I flipped I had read. Those who do not are just speaking to the air is a ary. Even took notes. I found them in a file cabinet this summer and through the paper, a specific title know Jesus Christ in a personal ridiculous and false statement. thought I’d collect them, just for you. So here’s a baker’s dozen of ad- caught my eye. The article was way are missing out on the big- God hears prayers. If there is no jectives, with some dopey little couplets to help your recall. Don’t say I “Matthew 6:5-6.” As a Christian, gest and best gift that could ever God, there is absolutely no point never gave you anything. I was immediately excited to to living. What are you living for? hear what one student had to Worldly pleasure is not enough: acuate: pointed, sharp a distaff. Their treatment of her say about Scripture. As I read God exists and we it leaves people hungry and Years ago there lived a girl named grew mean and costive the article it was quickly made thirsting for something more. A Britt, with a wit her friends felt clear that the author, a self-pro- as humans don’t countless number of food drives was acuate. dissilient: liable to spring apart claimed atheist, sees no reason will never satisfy a hungry per- While her heart grew dissilient or benefit to praying. When I measure up to His son. They may become fat, but anserine: like a goose; foolish as jewelweed, strong and full say praying, I am specifically standard on our never satisfied. Britt had an older sister named and pent. referring to praises, thanksgiv- What’s more…By not believ- Bryne whose way with words ing, and petitions made to the own. Is another ing in God, a person places all was anserine. dour: sullen, hard Lord, God Almighty, who Was“ other things above Him, idola- Her father joked and her sister and Is and Will Be. statement of proof trizing everything else. And God ariose: melodic, song-like rolled on the floor, but when Two reactions ensued, one needed? is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). He While Bryne wrote strange and Britt barely smiled they thought of amazement and the other says we are to put nothing before awkward prose, Britt made po- she was dour, a gut-wrenching kind of des- Him (“You shall have no other ems lithe and ariose. perate sadness. The former re- or will ever be offered by anyone, gods before Me.” Exodus 20:3). In eldritch: weird and hideous action revolved around the fact anywhere. To have a personal closing, I would like to recognize buckish: foppish Then superior, then eldritch, that there are people living is this relationship with Him, putting the fact that for you to believe any They had a father, all jestful and then locked her away for being world who don’t recognize the your trust in Christ, is critical to of what I have just said means that puckish, who wore pirate shirts, a witch. presence of God, the One Creator where your eternal resting place you have to believe in God; but dandy and buckish. of all things. I can understand will be. Romans 3:23 ” states “For again, just because you choose equable: tranquil, serene this coming from someone living all have sinned and fall short of to not believe doesn’t make God captious: casuistic, sophistical But even in a basement dank and in a bubble, but not someone in God’s glory.” It’s a black and white non-existent. And in the end, His puns were frail baroque con- horrible, Britt’s heart and mood the world as I know it. Even those statement; God exists and we as when it is all said and done, “every traptions that hung from thin stayed sharp and equable. who live isolated on an island in humans don’t measure up to His knee will bow and every tongue wires of thought, captious. the middle of the ocean are with- standard on our own. Is another will confess that Jesus Christ is farouche: too fierce to be social out excuse. For it says in Romans statement of proof needed? Let’s Lord” (Romans 14:11). One day, chthonic: mysterious; dark and Upstairs, they refused to let her 1:20 “For since the creation of the look at John 1:1, “In the beginning everyone will believe, and hope- primitive loose: “She doesn’t laugh.” “She’s world His invisible attributes, His was the Word, and the Word was fully you will believe before that Verbosity—if not genetic—is dim, farouche.” eternal power and divine nature, with God, and the Word was God.” particular day comes. Holy, holy, certainly chronic, yet Britt had a have been clearly seen, being un- Whether you as an individual be- holy is the Lord God Almighty. plainness that struck her family favonian: as mild as the west derstood through what has been lieve in God or not, He exists. It is as chthonic, wind Her father and Bryne made, so that they are without a fact. It is the truth. And once a Elizabeth Purdy mocked on and on again while excuse.” Having been raised in a person recognizes the truth and Mechanical Engineer costive: stingy Britt filled the cellar with songs Christian home, I sometimes for- believes in the truth, one of the Class of 2004 Earthy, too earthly, unbecoming favonian. Letter to the Editor I am writing to you in response Perhaps the author is proposing Impressive: we have now re- to the article on the Opinions page that the world would be a better lated a group in prayer for our of September 25’s Rose Thorn. place if everyone chose to spend nation directly to a group of This article was titled “Matthew those morning hours lying in terrorists flying airplanes into 6:5-6,” with the main subjects of their nice warm beds rather than buildings and killing thousands the article being the mocking of taking the initiative to stand up of people. However, where the the “See for what they author to think for a minute You at believe in? about this statement, she might the Pole” Now of course have come to the same conclu- event and The two main rea- the author’s sion that I have. The two main the use- sons the terrorists c o m p l e t e reasons the terrorists chose to l e s s n e s s lack of under- fly those planes into buildings of prayer. I chose to fly those standing of and kill Americans are ignorance feel that a prayer proba- and intolerance. Indeed, those http://www.coinsdig.com response planes into build- bly stems from terrorists probably understood This week, feel free to explore your own dictionary. Who says engineers is neces- “ings and kill Ameri- the inability to about as much about America must have a poor vocabulary? sary, be- grasp the con- as the author does about prayer. cause the cans are ignorance cept of God. Like the author, they also chose tion, they could have had a posi- fine with me. However, when fact that While I do not to lash out against the thing they tive impact. she chooses to lash out against this article and intolerance. intend to de- did not understand, rather than To the editors and advisor of something she doesn’t under- was pub- bate whether to learn about it and make an in- the Thorn I ask this: Would this stand for no apparent reason lished is or not God ex- formed decision. The only part article have been published had other than the lack of under- an embarrassment to the author, ists in this article, let us suffice to that faith played in their actions it targeted a religious event of standing itself, and in the pro- the Thorn and its staff (many of say that not everyone has such a a non-Christian religion on cess embarrasses not only her- whom I count as friends), and difficulty grasping the idea that campus? Would this article self but all of the Thorn’s staff Rose-Hulman in general. This there might exist a more power- have been published had it and Rose-Hulman in general, is doubly true considering that ful and more important being I am thankful for criticized an event of the I feel that I am obligated to re- it was Homecoming weekend, than ourselves. Furthermore, everyone that takes Unity Club? What about an spond and request some sort of and many of our alumni were ex- not” everyone has discounted event by the National Society discretion and accountability is posed to this article. the idea that our existence in a few minutes out of Black Engineers? I doubt it. exercised in the future articles The two main words I would this universe may not be ran- I find it ironic that our culture of the Thorn. use to describe the article are ig- dom chance. Whether or not the of their precious can so easily spot intolerance I would also like to mention norance and intolerance. Igno- author believes that God exists schedule to pray when it is focused at a minor- that I was not at the “See You rance, however, is definitely the is irrelevant to the fact that she “ ity group, yet it is practically at the Pole” event on Wednes- far more distinctive of the two should at least understand the for our nation, encouraged when focused at day morning last week. How- traits throughout the article. The concept before criticizing those a group which is perceived as ever, I am extremely grateful to author clearly does not under- who do believe it. However she regardless of their the majority. all those who were, and I am stand prayer at all, nor does she once again makes her ignorance religion. If the author would rather thankful for everyone that takes claim to understand it, which clear by describing prayer as “… sleep in on Wednesday morn- a few minutes out of their pre- is fine. However, an intelligent spending a bit of time talking to ing than getting up to pray, cious schedule to pray for our person might take their lack of the air.” was to give them the conviction and would rather put her effort nation, regardless of their reli- knowledge into account when The author goes on to quote to succeed in their ignorant and towards an “event where mem- gion or beliefs. writing an article about how a William Gascoyne, saying “I’m intolerant decisions. Were they bers of different Greek organi- group prayer session “supports not convinced that faith can to make informed and intelli- zations would sit next to each Brenon Smith nothing other than a messed up move mountains, but I’ve seen gent choices, and perhaps spent other in harmony and hand Comp Science sleep cycle and some sore feet.” what it can do to skyscrapers.” a bit of time in prayerful” reflec- out cookies and juice,” that’s Class of 2010 Friday, October 2, 2009 SPORTS 7 Football a touchdown short in Engineer Scoreboard Men’s Soccer Women’s Soccer Homecoming shootout 5-4-1 (1-0 HCAC) 1-7 (0-1 HCAC) Rose-Hulman News score. Noah Joseph rushed for 87 Mount St. Joseph closed out September 19 September 25 yards and three touchdowns, and the first quarter scoring with a 69- Rose-Hulman 2 Webster University 5 Craig Mustard finished 10-20 for yard pass from Mustard to Davis. at Rose-Hulman 0 Rose-Hulman Institute of 263 yards and one touchdown for The Lions would dictate play in at Millikin University 0 Technology rallied from a 17- the Lions. the middle two quarters to earn a October 1 point third-quarter deficit to Junior Scott Eaton led the de- 38-21 lead after touchdown runs Rose-Hulman 3 close within seven points in the fensive effort with 15 tackles, the by Davis and Joseph. Women’s Tennis at St. Mary-of-the-Woods 0 fourth quarter, but Mount St. Jo- third 15-tackle game of his career. Rose-Hulman moved to with- seph held on to earn a 45-38 win Senior Kyle Stevens contributed in 10 points at 38-28 midway 8-2 (6-1 HCAC) in the Heartland Collegiate Ath- nine stops and junior linebacker through the third quarter on a Football letic Conference football opener Andrew Couch had seven stops. 15-yard scoring strike from Eitel September 26—Franklin, Ind. on Saturday. Junior Robby Alumbaugh pro- to Somerall. Mount St. Joseph Hanover College 1 2-1 (0-1 HCAC) The Homecoming shootout vided the big play with a 38-yard pushed its edge to 45-28 on a vs. Rose-Hulman 8 featured more than 1,000 yards of interception return for a touch- one-yard run by Joseph with 3:29 September 19 total offense. down and also had six solo hits. left in the frame. Franklin College 2 Mount St. Joseph 45 Senior Derek Eitel led the Mount St. Joseph took the The Fightin’ Engineers moved vs. Rose-Hulman 7 at Rose-Hulman 38 Rose-Hulman offense with a opening kickoff and drove 58 to within 45-31 at the end of the 31-42 passing performance for yards in eight plays to take an third quarter, when junior Nick a career-high 364 yards. Eitel’s early 7-0 lead on a nine-yard Schneider booted a 22-yard field performance marked the third score by Davis. The Engineers goal to cap a nine-play drive. most completions and fourth answered with a six-play, 67- Rose-Hulman relied on a stop Volleyball — 12-5 (2-0 HCAC) most passing yards in a game in yard drive of their own to tie the and a 14-play, 85-yard drive to Fightin’ Engineer history. score at 7-7 on a 17-yard run by close the margin to 45-38 with September 26 Graduate student Thomas Kovach. 4:26 left on another 15-yard Defiance College 25 25 9 16 12 — 2 Reives added a career-high 149 re- Less than two minutes later, connection from Eitel to Somer- ceiving yards on nine receptions, Rose-Hulman gained posses- all. The Engineers held Mount at Rose-Hulman 23 21 25 25 15 — 3 and junior Reed Eason hauled in sion following a punt and Kovach St. Joseph after one first down eight catches for 70 yards. Junior sprinted 70 yards for another to have one final possession, October 1 Adam Somerall contributed five touchdown to give the Engineers but Jerrick Boykin hauled in an Rose-Hulman 23 25 25 25 — 3 receptions for 54 yards and two a 14-7 lead. interception to secure the Lions at Franklin College 25 16 20 16 — 1 touchdowns. Alumbaugh stepped in front of victory. Freshman Kyle Kovach crossed a Mount St. Joseph receiver and Mount St. Joseph improved to the 100-yard mark in rushing for returned an interception 38 yards 3-0 on the season, while Rose- the second time this season with for a score to give Rose-Hulman Hulman dropped to 2-2. The Women’s Cross Country 139 yards on 17 carries and two a 21-7 edge with 2:30 left in the Engineers travel to Manchester touchdowns. Kovach sprinted 70 opening quarter. College tomorrow afternoon. September 26 yards for a first Otterbein Invitational quarter touch- Westerville, Ohio 4th of 14 down and also scored from 17 yards out to cap the first Men’s Cross Country drive of the day. September 18 Jake Da- Otterbein Invitational vis paced the Westerville, Ohio 7th of 16 Mount St. Jo- seph offense with 155 rushing yards and Women’s Golf two touch- September 26-27 downs, along with 115 re- DePauw Small College Classic ceiving yards Rose-Hulman News Clayton, Ind. 13th of 16 and another Fans cheer on the football team in the Homecoming game.

Tim Boyer I became more serious about it season, we hope to continue to RT: You are a very involved S p o r t s E d i t o r in eighth grade when I decided surprise the HCAC with great student outside of volleyball. to give up the other sports I was volleyball in this season and What is everything you’re in- When you have a well-bal- in to play on a club team during those to come. volved in and how do you bal- anced team, it’s hard to stand the winter/spring, followed by ance it all? out. Because of this, senior Kate multiple camps throughout the RT: Last weekend, the team KS: Along with being a member Sernett is an unsung hero for the summer. came back from down two of the volleyball team, I’m the most part. The chemistry and sets to none to defeat Defi- president of Chi Omega and a biochemistry and molecular RT: Last year, the women’s vol- ance in five sets. Do you think double major in chemistry and biology major has steadily im- leyball team had its first win- the team can carry that mo- biochemistry/molecular biolo- proved over the past three sea- ning season in the short his- mentum through the rest of the gy trying to figure out my career sons and continues to improve tory of the program. How does season? plan after Rose. I also have three this season. it feel to have been a part of KS: The Homecoming match jobs on campus, so I stay pretty As of her match last Saturday, that? was such a great win for us. To busy. I enjoy all of my activities she was 28 digs from breaking KS: We had an awesome season come back from a 0-2 game though at times it can be stress- into the top ten of career digs, last fall! It was so rewarding to start against a conference team ful and a lot to handle. Through- currently standing at 990 since be a part of the team that made to win it in five, was such a great out high school I was very in- her freshman season. She’s aver- that accomplishment. Our sea- accomplishment. I think we volved as well, so I acquired Kate aged 2.77 digs per game in the son my freshman year wasn’t proved not only to our fans and good time management skills 108 matches she’s played so far so great, and that was kind of a the HCAC, but to ourselves, that and have been able to continue this season. At the end of last ‘re-building’ year. To have such this can be a really great season them during my Rose-Hulman year, she had recorded 2.81 digs a quick turn-around resulting for us. years. And when I maybe have Sernett per set in the 311 sets she played in the first winning-season last too much to do, resulting in lack in at that point in her career, year definitely reminded me that RT: How does it feel to be the of sleep, I often visit the ladies putting her at ninth best in pro- the reward is even better when only senior on the team? at Java City for a caffeine jolt. gram history. you stick something out even KS: It is a little strange to be the Kate Sernett took some time through the rough times. only senior on the team. When I RT: What’s the most meaning- to answer questions for The Rose started my freshman year, there ful or favorite game-time mo- Thorn. RT: This year, the team has had were five other freshman so I ment? another great start, similar to never thought that I’d be the KS: I really like the pressure The Rose Thorn: How long have last year. Do you think the vol- only one now. Early in the sea- moments on the court. When you been involved in volley- leyball program is beginning son, it came up in discussion it comes down to the critical ball? to establish itself as a more that I was the only senior as did points in a match, I love the Kate Sernett: I have been play- competitive team? the fact that I’m over a year older intensity. That’s when you see ing volleyball since the fifth KS: I do believe the volleyball than any of the juniors. So one of how much each team really grade. I actually didn’t want to program is beginning to get no- the girls gave me the nickname wants to win and really play play but my best friend’s mom ticed especially by the HCAC. “Mama Kate.” It caught on pretty the game. And my team did just was the coach so she made me. With an awesome record last quick with the rest of the team that on Homecoming against After that, I absolutely loved it. year, and a great start to this and so far has stuck. Defiance. The Rose Thorn V III FLIPSIDE Are you absolutely sure that you are reading this the right side up?

James Zhou Arboreal Reconnaissance Terre Haute was founded in... alright, I know none of you care, so let’s cut to the chase. There are plenty of interesting places in Terre Haute, some of which are not common knowledge. In fact, as a college student, a lot of the places the city and the schools do tell you about Terre Haute are completely useless to you. So, Higher education Competetive drinking “Hotel” Den of the Nerds the Flipside is going to provide you with a map of Terre Haute speciﬁcally written with the college student in mind. Of course, there are some places only a native of this place would be brave enough to explore, so for an insider’s look at Terre Haute, read be- low. Scott Gallmeier

Native Hautian Cheap Food Edible Food Ramen Merchant Unlicensed Druggist Paper Mill — If you love the smell of Terre Haute now, you don’t know what you are missing. Just three years ago, Terre Haute had its own booming paper mill. The paper mill gave Terre Haute a refreshing blend of tasty sul- fides and delicious smog just a few blocks from the already pleasant sewage plant. The Avenues — If you have a slight lead deficiency, just hit up the Avenues. The

Avenues, a section of town Attractions running from about 13th St. to 25th St. is the best place to go if you are looking for a new knife or bullet wound, or looking for a chance to find that rare illicit substance, just please, ignore the decay- ing corpses. West Terre Haute — It’s the commonly accepted source of the zombie uprising. West Terre Haute (or “West

T,” as the residents call it) is pass! not a splendid place if you are Thou should looking for cheap strip clubs, that you shouldn’t share with your parents cheap meth, and terrifying run-ins with the dreaded lo- cals. Fifteen minutes there and you are likely to have contracted several diseases, walked through someone’s “house” and quadrupled the

GDP by buying that pack of A Guide to the Local gum. Welcome to Terre Haute: Top “10” Ten Places to visit in Terre Haute Matt Melton T h e ancient leader of the tourists

10. Terre Haute Visitor’s Center — We don’t have any visitors. What a waste of a building. 9. The intersection of Wabash and Seventh — Back in the day, this used to be the crossroads of America... now, it’s just an intersection... and a Starbucks. 8. ISU’s Frat Row (Sixth Avenue) — The center of the best party ever, when (if) ISU ever wins a football game. 7. Terre Haute Federal Correctional Complex — That’s a good place. Many important people have been terminated there. 6. Cirilla’s — The only place in town that you can find Pirates... of the Caribbean? 5. West Terre Haute — It’s like watching Teeth, you got to see it once, just to say you did it, then never see it again. 4. Terre Haute Union Hospital — Because somebody on your floor is bound to do something stupid, sooner or later. Be the driver, not the passenger. 3. The “Jesus Saves” Cross — Bonus points to anyone who adds the following words to it, “passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!!” 2. Sonka’s — The cultural center of Terre Haute for those over the age Carly Baehr - Thinking about burritos so you don’t have to. of 21. The only place where St. Patrick’s day, Mardi Gras, and summer break are celebrated equally. Just for fun, find the optimum route for Married Man to go if he is starting from the den of the nerds and he 1. The Woods — Now guys can know what the qoute, “The odds are must pass through Taco Bell (one of the of the cheap food symbols on Wabash Ave.), visit three different ramen good, but the goods are odd,” means. merchants, and foil crime at two different unlicensed druggists before heading back to hang out with his friends.

This is the Flipside disclaimer, where I, your esteemed and possibly sane editor disown this week’s issue. If some of this offends you, we are sorry. All unattributed content was written by James Zhou. The stuff that appears on this page does not represent the opinions of the Thorn, Rose- Hulman, the people who wrote them, or of anyone in this or any other universe. The weekly feature: “Wacky prof quotes” has not been cancelled due to threats of bad grades. Do not worry, you will get the chance to laugh at your professors’ zany antics next week. There are no burritos.