ISSUE 1654 ...the issue that wasn’t meant to but became an anti-Trump issue FRIDAY 27 JANUARY 2017

THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON

elix Students f demand better Careers Service RESIST PAGE 3 News

Imperial students march against Trump PAGE 6 News

To protest or not to protest?

PAGE 8 Comment

Trident | They lied to us

PAGE 10 Comment

Barry!

Grab the boys some poppers will you?

The state’s fight against legal highs

PAGE 27 Millennials 2 felixonline.co.uk [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 felix EDITORIAL Resistance is not futile. We think.

ell we honestly tried – you Also jumping on the bandwagon, every know, taking a break from the >>insert descriptive term of choice<< in the US is doom and gloom. With the end proposing backwards bills such as bills “to repeal of 2016, we were eager to turn the Environmental Protection Agency’s most over a new leaf, start anew with recent rule for new residential wood heaters” starry eyes full of hope for the or bills proclaiming “each human life begins Wfuture. But since Trump’s inauguration last Friday, it’s with fertilization” or bills requiring “pipelines just been an onslaught of bad news, dumb news and regulated by the Secretary of Transportation to outright ridiculous news. Since Friday, the Donald be made of steel that is produced in the United has broken Obamacare, has withdrawn from the States” or God knows what. Transpacific Partnership, has reintroduced the Mexico Meanwhile the Brexit saga is dragging on City Policy which effectively strips federal financial and on. It’s turned from hard to soft to fluffy to support from any NGO lobbying for reproductive snakeskin. Honesty I just want to know when to rights, revived the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pack my bags. Come on people, I got plans to pipelines, ordered the construction of a Mexico wall, make, flights to book and a mojito somewhere in allowed six journalist to be charged with felony for a beach-bar with my name on it. covering the anti-trump protests from last week, frozen So read on and resist I guess, cause Shia science grants from the Environmental Protection Labeouf is in prison and we need a new glorious Agency, and removed any mention of the LGBT leader to create motivational viral hits, urging movement from the government’s website. us to “just DO IT”.

Editor-in-Chief | Lef Apostolakis || Deputy Editor | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || News Editor | Matt Johnston || Comment Editors THE | Vivien Hadlow, Tessa Davey, Jonathan Masters || Culture Ringmaster | Fred Fyles || Culture Editors | Indira Mallik, , Tom Stephens, Meryl Anil, Anurag Deshpande, Theo Farah || Puzzles Editor | Hamish Beck || Clubs & Societies Editor | Abigail de TEAM Bruin || Science Editor | Lizzie Riach, Ipsita Herlekar || Millennials Queen | Tessa Davey || Millennials Editors | Saad Ahmed, Sanjay Battacharaya, Matt Johnston || Sports Editor | Sam Smith || Illustrator | Nathan Macabuag || Copy Chief | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || Copy Editors | Ipsita Herlekar, Selin Olenik, Vivien Hadlow || Cover | Joe O’Connell-Danes ||Editorial Pic | Fahdi Kanavati ||Centrefold | Joe O’Connell-Danes ||Potest Pics | Tom Hartley, Piramol Krishnan, Indira Mallik, Esther Maltby, Fred Fyles

Address | felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB || Telephone | 02075948072 || Printed by | Ilifee Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge || Registered Newspaper | ISSN 1040-0711 || Copyright © felix 2016 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 3 NEWS felix Student calls out Career Services

Lef Apostolakis Union pushes for resolving funding and staffing issues

he Union has employ twice as many career ly the Science Communication have been to know the dead- spokesperson told felix resolved to put consultants, an additional six MS offered by the Department lines. Goldman Sachs’ gradu- that “support is available pressure on Imperial CV consultants and eight free- of Co-curricular Studies is well ate deadlines were in August! to students throughout the College to Improve lance career consultant pre- known for facilitating the net- I have been applying this year, including during the Career Services. sumably for seasonal spikes. working of students with indus- October when really I should summer vacation, and we The decision came Considering that Imperial Col- try giants through seminars have been applying the latest encourage students to be- Tafter Eric Suen, a third year lege has 17,000 students while and internships. September. Wish someone gin thinking about their medic raised the issue during LSE has approximately 9,000 Other departments are less had told me especially since career plans as early as Council last Tuesday. students, the quality and quan- lucky. Industry oriented career I had been to a careers ap- possible” Suen acted on results from tity of career advice at Imperi- events in the department of pointment”. Furthermore we were in- a survey he carried out with al is significantly lower. Life Sciences are notoriously Perhaps College will take formed that when demand help from Officer Trustees and This might come as a sur- few and far between with stu- a page out of the book of is high Imperial also re- Union staff, which revealed an prise to many, as Imperial is dent looking to follow ‘green- Simone Buitendijk (Vice cruits freelance consult- average satisfaction score of renowned for producing high- er’ paths such as Ecology of- Provost for Education). Bui- ants, while the Services 3.6/5. The survey (which ad- ly employable graduates. Ac- ten left to their own devices. tendijk has been working also offer a full range of mittedly had a small sample of cording to The Times and the Those coming from such less on redefining the teaching group support through dai- only 48 participants) revealed Sunday Times’ Good Univer- career-oriented departments strategy and one of the ly workshops, seminars, in- that users found booking ap- sity Guide 2016, Imperial is face a mediocre service. key elements of her plan teractive sessions streamed pointments with Career Servic- ranked 2nd in terms of gradu- The testimonials from Suen’s has been identifying pock- workshops through Panop- es very hard (3.9/5) with 30% ate prospects. This discrepan- survey don’t paint a flattering ets of good practice within to. Whether these services of participants having tried cy is thought to be due to the picture departments and trying to are insufficient or simply and failed to secure appoint- support departments give out “They always say “very apply them across the Col- inadequately advertised ments. themselves though. good” to CVs and rarely give lege. will be debated during the Career Services employ 17 Weekly Career talks are for any good advice. In terms of When asked about the long lobbying process that members of staff of which only example routine practice in job search they say “just goog- student dissatisfaction sur- is certain to come in the six are career consultants. the departments of Earth Sci- le it” – Anonymous rounding Imperial’s Ca- following months. The equivalent services at LSE ence and Engineering. Similar- “The most useful thing would reer Services, a College

Mental Health Officer joins Union roles

nion Council has physical and mental) but there grief and stress” to the Union’s The role would provide a 600 and IQ, imperial’s net- voted to intro- also are LGBT, Ethics and En- attention. point of contact for students work for LGBT+ staff and stu- duce a new lib- vironmental, Gender Equality, During her presentation on wishing to get in touch with the dents respectively. eration officer, Interfaith BME, Campaigns, Tuesday, Sadr-Hashemi said Disability Advisory Service, Still there are valid concerns representing stu- and International officers. that “we are at a very weird Departmental Disability Of- on what happens once the role dents struggling Despite the existence of a point at mental health, where ficers and the Mental Health is created. It’s not uncommon Uwith mental health issues. Ap- role meant to deal with mental it’s becoming more accept- Advice Service. It would also for Liberation Officer positions propriate steps will be taken health, the paper proposing able to struggle with mental liaise with Mentality (a ICU to remain vacant after the first for the position to be created the introduction of the new health issues”, however she campaign raising awareness or even the second round of in time for the elections in role suggests it is not enough. stressed that despite positive for mental health) to “facilitate elections. At the moment, such March. Arian Sadr-Hashemi, chair of steps, some mental health is- engagement of students with is the case with the Disabilities Liberation officers exist in or- Mentality and author of the sues receive a very different mental health issues in Union Officer. We will have to wait der to represent and campaign paper believes that the cur- public treatment to others. activity”. and see whether the Mental for underrepresented students rent role “does not provide “We have to push that [sic] all Concerns of the constitution- Health Officer position proves and support the Deputy Pres- appropriate representation mental health issues are ac- al inclusion in the role descrip- to be more attractive. ident for Welfare. Currently for all students with mental ceptable”. While addressing tion of Mentality as a point of there are seven roles. There’s health issues”, that its duties Council members, she stressed contact were shut down using a Disabilities Officer meant are “too broad” and that it is the need to represent all mi- the LGBT Officer as an ex- Lef Apostolakis to represent the needs of stu- necessary to bring “short term norities and urged the Union ample who is constitutionally dents with disabilities (both mental health issues [such as] to “keep up”. meant to liaise with Imperial 4 felixonline.co.uk/news [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 5 felix NEWS NEWS felix Union launches 2017-20 strategy BEEP BEEP BEEP | Brexit update

Lef Apostolakis But where did all the measurables go? Matt Johnston More optimistic than you getting a 2:1 degree?

he Union launched party for.” he sun keeps on icines Agency, predicted to a new three year This becomes particularly rising, the world take itself and its 700+ jobs to strategy last week obvious when comparing the keeps on spinning another European location. A in Metric, at an new strategy to the previous and the Brexit de- similar UK board may emerge event that was the one. Although the 2013-16 bate rages on. Last in its place to try and pick up culmination of a strategy had very similar aims, week Theresa May both the jobs and the role, but Tsix month effort to meet (or each aim had not only more Tmade a speech at Lancas- that might be a little too much at the very least express) the objectives but objectives which ter House which outlined her planning and foresight for Jer- needs and wants of Imperial were much more tangible. twelve point plan for the UK’s emy Hunt. students. Despite vigorous For example to improve negotiation plan as she looks So what can we expect in the consultation though, student the student experience, the to trigger Article 50 and leave next few months? Well aside reaction was luke-warm. 2013-16 strategy clearly the European Union for good. from the actual negotiation of T h e s t r a t e g y i s a c o l l a b o r a t i v e and concisely outlined eight The main headline is, if the Brexit, the Supreme Court dis- effort between the Officer measures to be adopted by PM gets her way, the UK will missed the Government’s ap- Trustees and the Management 2016 such as “ensure that be pursuing a “harder” Brexit, peal of the High Court’s ruling of the Union. Ef for ts first began the Union delivers at least one in which the UK leaves the on the process of triggering last March and involved three key contributors to the single market. This is in tandem Article 50. What it all boils multiple public consultations, College’s Graduate Attributes with the UK planning to forge down to is that a bill needs to surveys and interviews. project” or “increase the new trade deals with the wider be passed that then allows the During the launch, welcome number of students employed world, likely the topic of con- Government to trigger Article speeches were given by Union by the Union in each year of versation as May meets with 50. Tory MPs in favour of Brex- President Nas Andriopoulos the plan”. President Trump next week. it are looking to fast track the addressing “the young minds” Similarly to build the student With the UK leaving the sin- bill as soon as possible (likely of Imperial, followed by the community the union would gle market (or at least planning before the end of February) Chair of the Board of Trustees, try to “publish an annual 2017-20 is a lot more sparse on the details and a lot more vague (Left: 2013-16 Strategy, Right: 2017-20) \\ felix to), freedom of movement is but opposition MPs may try Neil Sachdev, and the Union ‘Advocacy to Action’ Report” almost undoubtedly going to Brexit (noun): Brexit \\ felix and amend/stall the bill on its Managing Director Jarlath and “develop, publish and diminish, but May still wants to way through. Put simply, bar- O’Hara. deliver a Campus Outreach fifth of the strategy. academic year.” Andriopoulos a new team of Sabbatical maintain the Common Travel ring a massive shock, this bill Its five main “aims” and Plan” by 2016. These are parts “The 2013-16 and 2017-20 continues by saying that “when Officers every year might not Area within Ireland. Having Ireland at the moment as the with May possibly realising are to be laid out in a ‘white will go through the House of 15 “objectives” can be from two specific proposed strategies are intentionally the plan was in effect, there be the best plan for moving a land border with the EU is two parties in power are hav- that this could be the route that paper’, essentially a more for- Commons and likely through summarised in increasing the actions from a list of seven. very different in their style was an annual Operational forward effectively. With such tricky to say the least, especial- ing their own fight over heating the UK needs to take post Brex- mal statement of government the House of Lords too. Any Union’s reach, its support The new strategy on the and composition,” says Plan which set out that year’s a short term vision and a lack ly with the mantra “controlling bills (like you and your house- it. Britain will “welcome agree- policy going forward. This will attempt to block the bill after capacity, enhancing student other hand aims to “enhance Andriopoulos. “The 2013- specific targets, and the of long term measurables, it is our borders” being brought up mates) and have called a set of ment to continue to collaborate be a statement of intent from the referendum will probably enjoyment and “talents”, the enjoyment and talents of 16 strategy, Our Plan, had performance of staff teams easy to lose the ball especially time and time again. Speaking elections in early March to try the government and gives op- spark chaos. Chaos that could empowering students and the task of transforming was assessed against these. when most changes require of the constituent countries with- and restore order again. position parties (and indeed range anywhere from the Dai- overall ensuring a smooth Imperial College Union after We also published updates years of lobbying. in the union, May has promised The PM also announced a \\ Britain will opposition within her own par- ly Mail getting a bit upset, to running Union. \\ “Deepening, firing a challenging period, and in our Impact Reports, as well On the plus side the students bit more transparency with welcome ty) a chance to scrutinise the a general election or even the The strategy might look nice up and extending it did so by setting specific, as extensive communication did get a series of positive regards to her strategy, but plans in full. abolition of the House of Lords. on paper, however there is measurable targets – to students and internal announcements including a \\ With the UK would not be revealing the agreement to One scientific institute that is not much information on how democracy” is a consolidating our strengths communication to staff.” It’s long overdue 10% increase in leaving the single “blow-by-blow details” (that’s continue to likely to leave sooner rather Stay tuned. the Union aims to achieve noble (and meme- (such as Clubs, Societies & unclear however what the Clubs and Societies spending one for all you playing Brexit than later is the European Med- its objectives. Undeniably Projects), creating specific new policy makers learned from the (which has been lagging market (or at buzzword bingo at home). It collaborate with our “deepening, firing up and inspiring) ambition \\ initiatives (such as the Student previous strategy and whether behind inflation for a number was also announced, unsur- European partners extending democracy” is a Academic Choice Awards, they’ve implemented it in this of years), as well as the least planning prisingly, that a new free trade noble (and meme-inspiring) Imperial Plus, and Give It A round of policy making. refurbishment of the Charing to), freedom of agreement with European mar- on major science, ambition, though some our members” (i.e. enhance Go), and focusing on financial The Union claims its strategy Cross common room. kets is being pursued after we research, and students felt that the lack of student experience in 2013 viability.” Andriopoulos refers to be in line with best practice According to a Union movement is almost leave the common market, as measurable strategic points lingo) by “[providing] systems, to the disastrous 2011 Summer from the charitable sector, source that would like to undoubtedly going we try and pick and choose as technology detracted from the sentiment. staff support and funding for Ball which made a loss of drawing comparison with remain anonymous, the lack much of the good stuff of EU initiatives \\ “You can’t just hold an event volunteers to enable them to over £100,000, effectively the strategies of Amnesty of detailed action proposals to diminish \\ membership whilst avoiding for deepening, extending and maximise the impact of their bankrupting the Union. International and Shelter, might be due to current all the downsides. Easy, right? engorging. Where is the rest Roles” and “[being] Yet it’s not quite as which have annual operational staffing problems. There The final proposal will be put with our European partners on of the strategy?” said Theresa recognised as leaders for the straightforward to tell what plans with more concrete, certainly has been a lot of that when powers are brought to a vote in both Houses at the major science, research, and Davey, a materials PhD value that our activities add was actually achieved during measurable goals. The Union mobility recently, with several back from Brussels, the rele- end of it all, but it’s likely that technology initiatives”, chiefly student who’s spent nearly to students’ personal and the 2013-16 plan. There is no does suffer an annual brain staff members leaving the vant ones will be devolved to this vote will go through in the because without this collabora- a decade at Imperial. “Five professional development”. comprehensive report on the drain due to the electoral union and reshuffling within Scotland, Wales and Northern Commons at least, due to the tion, UK universities just aren’t sets of bullet points and three These are two full objectives strategy. Instead there are process though, so coming up the organisation over the last Ireland. How much is devolved Conservative majority. as attractive to students and re- student testimonials are not a from a list of three and quite plans “to publish a review of with an annual operational year. The union has refuted remains to be seen though. This Science and innovation was searchers. strategy that you can have a literally amount to almost a Our Plan 2013-16 later this plan and handing it over to such claims though. is also a little tricky in Northern also brought up in the speech, Slightly more concrete plans Global Britain or Little Britain? \\ Jay Allen 6 felixonline.co.uk/news [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 7 felix NEWS NEWS felix Protesting Trump | The Women’s March through the eyes of Imperial students

s the Women’s March on So to see environmental protesters at the We talked to some of our editors, contributors and readers about their London made its way down Women’s March wasn’t only to be expected, Park Land and Piccadilly that but to be celebrated. Those opposing Trump participation in the weekend’s anti-Trump marches. Here are their hopes, bright, clear Saturday, traffic are now faced with two choices, given the and tourists were brought to a wide range of targets he has taken on: either their fears. Here are their thoughts. Here are their testimonials. standstill by a mass of bodies, we can spread ourselves too thin, trying to Aplacards, and flags. Among the signs about take on way too many topics at one time; or, pussies and abortion rights, there were a environmentalists, civil rights activists, and few that stuck out like sore thumbs, no more feminists of every colour and creed can unite asked myself a question the first time I words “A woman’s place is in the resist- so than the one that read “Clean Coal is a together to resist any moves that Trump tries heard about the Women’s March: Is it ance”. All of us, we are the resistance. MYTH!” At the time it seemed incongruous, to make. Based on last Saturday, when it is necessary? The answer is yes. I joined I will keep on marching so that little but today it seems eerily prescient: over his estimated up to 100,000 people marched, the tens of thousands of people because I girl who was by my side knows that she first five days in office, Trump has not only latter route is being taken. I can only hope that needed to share a message too. It was not is powerful, that when the world turns decimated global abortion rights by signing the momentum is kept up long enough to enact a complaint. We advocated tolerance and upside down, we rise up. I am not afraid a gag bill, blocking US-funding overseas, but real, tangible change. Irespect for everyone, after all, women’s rights of the future, because democracy will he has lied about how many people attended are human rights. I marched because I could eventually listen. Because we will build the inauguration, reinstated the Dakota Access and some could not – as one placard read, bridges instead of walls. Because love pipeline, and started planning his border wall. Fred Fyles “I raise up my voice so that others can be trumps hate. His team even coined the idiotic neologism heard”. And it mattered because it was part of ‘alternative facts’, which would be laughable if \\ Esther Maltby a movement. it weren’t so terrifying. Hope was the predominant feeling amongst all kinds of supporters. Carrie Ana Villanueva Fisher’s Leia was one of the leaders of \\ Indira Mallik egardless of whether you believed and in particular for my concern over the Pres- this rebellion, portrayed alongside the Donald Trump meant what he said, ident’s seeming dismissal of issues concerning there was little doubt that he had sexual harassment. made some shocking statements. Sadly less than a week in his presidency In my eyes, this left two possibili- our worst fears have turned out to have been ties for those who voted for him in prophecies. RNovember; either they agreed with his state- ments, or they voted for him despite of them. And I was satisfied with neither. I marched because I feared that the election Helen Money-Kyrle result would legitimise comments of this nature,

\\ Tom Hartley

he march was fantastic! It was Trump, that didn’t seem to make it feel more primarily the atmosphere that political. It didn’t take away the feeling of did it because despite it being solidarity. the Women’s March all sorts of It felt very empowering and exhilarating to causes came up to join us. So it walk through central London (especially in felt rewarding and inspiring just tights, a thong and a pair of balloons) and Tto be surrounded by SO many people who there was a strong sense of togetherness. In really believed that the world deserved better the end I came out of it feeling like there was and the ‘power of the people’ would help more hope in the world especially after seeing it become that. Personally, I do have strong masses and masses of people walk by me; feelings about equal rights and peace and people who believed in the same things as me, I want to stand up not just for my friends or as all of us. It was great to actually voice my my sister/mum but for women from around opinions! the world who are mistreated or who aren’t granted the basic human rights we all deserve. On hearing of an event to primarily campaign Esther Maltby \\ Esther Maltby for these issues I couldn’t not go. \\ Indira Mallik \\ Piramol Krishnan \\ Indira Mallik Though the march was centred around For more comment visit felixonline.co.uk/comment

8 felixonline.co. uk /comment [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/comment 9

BLAH!!! blah

BLAH...blah? Blah. Blah.Blah.Blah blah..! blah? blah blah blah blah BLAH? COMMENT blah

Blah!? FREEZE PEACH BLAH! ...blah Blah.blah blahblah- COMMENT felix ...BLAH! blah! felix Madeleine Webb discusses how to stay Protest or Real change politically engaged now that the world stop comes from So you went has exploded complaining real action to the march. \\ It's important to recognise that the fight is only starting Indira Mallik sees protests as the Giacomo Boscaini-Gilroy is only way to exact change dismissive of Saturday's protests because you can't win fights What's next? you aren't in \\ V S s part of the h, you went on Satur- Women’s day’s march? You must rotesting was the an email template for you to clinics need escorting staff for know it’s awkward and terrible March millions can eventually lead to a sea of change. have the moral high easy bit. Sorry to use on their website. Easy. patient safety, homeless kitch- but laughing with them isn’t a of people took Women’s suffrage was achieved by pro- ground now. You 100% break it to you, but ens often need volunteers, and solution. As for less gross polit- to the streets tests, and protests advanced civil rights for changed the world by the Women’s March Stay Informed refugee charities take clothing ical disagreements, calmly and across the ethnic minorities, addressed AIDS funding, walking around with a was not the finale, Don’t get your news from donations for those who have respectfully talking about why Aworld on Saturday; it was a and led to the overthrowing of autocracies Osign. Here’s a reality check: the only way I’ll grant you that in isolated it was the opening Facebook or Twitter. Please. lost everything. Also, research someone may be misinformed galore of pink home-knitted in favour of democratic elections. Suc- to influence the nation is through gov- cases, protest itself can make Pnumber, and the rest of the One of the biggest stories the charities your giving to, or why you disagree can be “pussy hats” and witty signs, cessful campaigns of change are built on ernment. You didn’t make any tangible change. UCL’s rent strike was show is no fun at all. I hate to of 2016 was the ridiculous as some are more effective productive. Most people will but did it mean anything? Will sustained organised dissent, but they rely change, you sent a letter of complaint: 'Hi, influential because it affected ruin the mood because I was amount of fake news flying than others at bringing about respond thoughtfully even if it lead to change? on the spark of protest on the streets to I think you are meanies and this is how an- the university’s income, and there on Saturday so I under- around social media and change in the world. If you’re they don’t change their minds. In a liberal democracy, polit- bring the issues into focus. Demonstrations gry I’m going to get if you continue.’ How they can’t ignore a lack of stand how intoxicating it can people not fact checking the specifically looking for feminist Being honest about your own ical dissent by citizens can ensure that those in power know that their often does a head of state listen to a pro- funds. But if you do nothing be – screaming “I’m mad as stuff they retweet. And yes, the causes close to home post- biases is also key; you are dismissing everyone who was take the form of writing letters, problems won’t be going away. It’s no coin- test? more substantial than going hell and I’m not going to take leading political commentators march, Reclaim the Night, not excluded from this step. involved as 'sensitive snow- lobbying, or voting represent- cidence that the first thing on a despotic on a march and you think the it anymore” is satisfying, but probably won’t be sharing sto- Rosa, and The Feminist Library For example, the Women’s flakes' is an ignorant move atives out at the ballot box. agenda is to limit the rights of people to work is done, you’re wrong. it doesn’t actually change an- ries about Hillary Clinton being are all great projects based in March was hailed (rightly so) to begin with. Whether you These act through intermedi- peacefully assemble. So what more do I suggest ything. It’s important to rec- a murderer/paedophile/ lizard London. as a show of political force for think their feelings are justified aries. Direct action – boycotts, “White moderates”, wrote Martin Luther that people do? Get out there ognise that the fight is only person, but a little thing called women globally and for men or not, in the world of Trump demonstrations and strikes cir- King Jr, were the greatest hurdle to the and prompt others to develop starting because you can’t win confirmation bias means even who support gender equality. and Brexit, people are scared. cumvent these. Street protests black Americans’ goal of equal rights. His their views. Start controversial fights you aren’t in. So what if you’re following the 'honest' But this doesn’t remove the Islamophobia has never been are a way of physically mani- words are just as applicable to other types conversations with people you can we do? people, you’ll only be get- \\ Being honest uncomfortable fact that 53% so obvious than the online festing a group’s opposition to of moderates – the kind of person who is know, friends, family, stand Helpfully, the Women’s ting the side of the story you of white women voted for abuse Linda Sarsour, one of an idea – letters can be thrown “more devoted to the absence of tension on a soapbox at Speakers’ March London has launched already agree with. Odds are about your own Trump despite (or more worry- the organisers of the Women’s out, elections come around than to the presence of justice”. Some of Corner. Ask questions to tackle 10 Actions in 100 Days, pro- if your sources are websites biases is also ingly, possibly because of) his march, has faced, including every four years or so, but those who railed against the Women’s issues like consent and the pros viding a list of ten things we like True Conservative News opposition to women’s health- false accusations of anti-Sem- large groups of people shut- Marches agree with the need for equality, and cons of tuition fees. Discus- can all do to channel our or The Liberal Review, you’re in key: you are not care rights, pay equity & his itism and terrorist links. We ting down streets in response to but question the “methods of direct action”. Let’s be honest, people go on demonstra- sion is key. There are also ways post-march energy. The first a bubble of facts some people excluded from this well-known “pussy grabbing” like to think discrimination of an issue are harder to ignore. Dr King writes that these are the people tions for their own self-indulgence. It gives to make your voice heard in the step is writing to your local may consider to be 'alterna- comments. Other people have minority groups was a prob- who believe they “can set the timetable them a good feeling when they see others media or in the political sphere. MP or Theresa May herself, to tive'. Reliable sources are the s t ep \\ written far more eloquently lem we left behind us, in the for another man’s freedom”, ’allies’ who who think the way they do. It gives them Join a political party and be encourage her to reaffirm the safest way to not become about the issues around main- 20th century, but the data just preach waiting “for a more convenient confidence and hope in a world of hate. involved in its policy-making. UK’s commitment to human 'that friend' on Facebook stream 'white feminism' but doesn’t back that up, the suc- season.” So it’s a shame that it doesn’t make any I’m not perfect but I went to rights when she meets with who constantly posts political recognising your own blind cess of the Trump campaign There will of course never be a ‘conven- difference in the real world, and they’re the EU parliament in Brussels to Donald Trump. There is even garbage. Sticking to BBC, Call people out (including spots and doing your best to confirms it. I think being told ient season’ for any sort of protester – any helping themselves rather than others. present a petition to save Eras- C-SPAN, and the fact-based yourself) educate yourself can only help. you have 'privilege' whether it public show of opposition is bound to bring Chanting ‘Fuck Tory Scum’ is preaching mus in Britain. I also wrote to sources should do the trick. A lot of the institutionalised be male, white or straight pro- tension and disrupt traffic. Likewise, single to the preached. Everyone there knew that my MP to show my distaste at discrimination in the world Empathise vokes such a strong response protests cannot solve all the world’s prob- already. But what do you think Theresa Theresa May’s treatment of our \\ Screaming "I'm Donate is cultural; the way different OK, so this one is for the in people because it implies lems. A protest about equal pay in the UK May’s thoughts on your choice of wording international students when You’re a student, you don’t groups are represented (or not people who thought the march you’ve had it easy. The truth is is unlikely to do much for oppression in are? FOX News viewers and Daily Mail she was Home Secretary. Let’s mad as hell and have any money, and I get it. represented at all) in the media wasn’t a big deal and we’re very few people have it com- Saudi Arabia, but that doesn’t mean it’s readers are those who you should really have real change, and that I'm not going to However, even the smallest and wider society reinforces all just being overly dramatic pletely easy. But really, it just It’s not always about the worthless; there isn’t some pot of equality be communicating yourself to, but you’re comes through real action. donations can make an impact, stereotypes and cultivates igno- or competitively 'woke' or means that other people have instant gratification of legisla- that will run out. If you disagree with the not going to get through to them that way. take it any more" especially since governments rance. And although it feels whatever. I’m not going to try had to deal with obstacles that tive change. After all, doctors ideals that those in power broadcast, it’s I got proper fired up by the Brexit protests is satisfying, but both at home and in America like the world is full of it, calling and convert you to the cause you haven’t. It doesn’t mean protested for months last year not enough to stay at home and voice that on 24th June and in the days after. It makes are cutting funding to non- out bullshit when you see it can because I’ll just be wasting you have to feel bad, but in a to little avail, student fees disagreement in private or via Facebook me seethe. If you cared so much about stay- it doesn't actually profit organisations; it’s time actually help. Trump’s election column inches and my breath. world of instant outrage and were raised despite protest, likes. It behoves you to turn up and keep ing in the EU, why didn’t you do anything change anything \\ to put your money where your doesn’t mean sexual assault You don’t have to agree with political polarisation, empathy and troops were deployed to turning up – to write letters, make calls, when, say, it actually mattered? Do you mouth is. However, charitable is a joke –if you know people me, or the rest of the people to those who are different from Iraq despite protest; however, and to vote (even in the boring elections); really think going for a stroll because your organisations don’t always who think that it’s 'locker-room' who marched. But millions you is invaluable. a slow attrition of opposition to be visible in your dissent. mate asked you will change something? want your money. Healthcare talk, correct them. Thoroughly. I did march worldwide, so 10 felixonline.co. uk /comment [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017

BLAH!!! blah

BLAH...blah? Blah. Blah.Blah.Blah blah..! blah? blah blah blah blah BLAH? COMMENT blah Blah!? BLAH! ...blah Blah.blah blahblah- felix ...BLAH! blah! Eurovision: Trident's make an renewal was effort based on lies Jonathan Masters doesn't care Avirup Banerjee thinks Trident is about Trump, but does care about an expensive accident waiting to Eurovision happen

ou can listen to as much Jamie XX as you like, you can watch n the small town of Goldsboro, North black and white films with Carolina there lies a casual road sign French subtitles, but there is saying that it is a site of a “nuclear mis- not a single person on this hap”. If that's not an understatement, earth who when viewing the them can write, let alone write what the hell is? In 1961 a B52 bomb- EurovisionY song contest doesn’t enjoy the songs. er carrying two nuclear bombs blew sheer ridiculousness of it. Every year, each The vast array of European Iup mid-air, dropping the nuclear payload one of us remembers that Azerbaijan is a entrants all send pop stars which came excruciatingly close to deto- country, that all the best pyrotechnics are with at least meddling level nating. The surprisingly long list of bare- found in Europe, and wish that hopefully of popularity in Europe, and ly averted accidents involving nuclear one of the novelty countries like Australia most of their songs embrace weapons has gained a new member. Last wins. Even with post-Brexit Britain, millions the fact that the competition is week it was revealed that Britain's nuclear slowest world wide reduction of people will tune in, with many more ille- a little bit silly, that the songs deterrent experienced a catastrophic test of nuclear weapons since the gally streaming it on iPlayer because who should be fun and joyful, as failure in which unarmed Trident missiles 1970s – weapons which even actually pays the license fee? It is an aged evidenced by Sweden’s pas- were fired on the coast of Florida in the five-star general and US Sec- tiche of how to win Eurovision. summer of 2016 before being aborted. retary of State Colin Powell England does not embrace Whilst they were unarmed, it does dispel admitted to being unusable. this attitude and instead de- the idea of ‘smart weapons’ – the missiles Today we no longer face an cides to put its lot in with po- were targeted on West Africa instead of ideological, antagonistic nu- faced misery and half-hearted North America, so were only off target by clear-armed state in the form melodrama. You only have to a few thousand kilometres. Furthermore, of the Soviet Union. The real look at the fact that Engelbert what is outrageous was the inexcusable threat posed by Russia or Chi- Humperdinck, a seller of over concealment of the important failed test re- na in our globalised economy 150 millions records and a re- sults from MPs before parliament voted in is cyber-warfare targeting the nowned (I guess?) artist a few favour of a £100 billion multi-decade com- theft of intellectual property. year's ago. His song was a lan- mitment on the next generation of Trident. Trident ballistic missiles are guishing, stolid piece of bore- Even the government’s excuse of secrecy also useless against non-state dom and he came second to in the name of national security does not actors committing terrorism, last. The thing England needs hold weight considering that nations usual- which instead requires coun- tradition to listen to Graham Norton crea- to decide is whether or not it ly inform other nuclear powers, especial- ter insurgency. Should we not tively talk nonsense and use the most ab- actually wants to whole-heart- ly their rivals, before conducting nuclear spend our limited resources on stract of mathematics to try and calculate edly try. If not, then stop wast- tests to prevent dangerous misunderstand- defence measures we actually a way that the UK could ever finish on the ing the money, stop making ings. In 2012, the last time Britain conduct- need rather than relics of the left of the leader board. Why is it, how- us listen to beyond-mediocre ed nuclear test, Russian ships monitored cold war? Maybe the time has ever, that every year Britain puts the least songs, and stop getting our and even congratulated the Royal Navy finally come to pressure our amount of effort into selecting their act? hopes up. after carrying out the successful tests. government to eliminate the Every year the shadowy organisation However, perhaps most worrying is the illusion that there is a wide- known as the BBC tries to put the least near-universal acceptance of the need spread consensus that we must amount of effort and expense into select- to expand the British nuclear arsenal recommit to a new generation ing a competitor which has brought us amongst the political elite. Gone are the of Trident. And perhaps the such delights as Jade Ewen, Molly Smit- days of the 1980s when hundreds of thou- time may come again that the ten-Downes, and the dream haunting sands around the world marched for nu- world truly begins the process Scooch. Just in case you didn’t recognise clear disarmament, forcing right-wingers of universal disarmament. any of the previously mentioned names, like Nixon, Thatcher and Reagan and their there is a reason for this: the UK doesn’t Soviet counterparts to commit to arms re- send anyone famous. Indeed all the sing- duction treaties. Whilst it would be naive ers are talented at – well at the very least to unilaterally disarm, what is worrying technically, as it seems unlikely that any of is that the last ten years experienced the Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/science 11

SCIENCE elix I don’tf think Clean eating | The dirty truth you’re ready Alexandra Lim describes her thoughts, after watching a documentary on for this jelly why clean eating is not as healthy as we think

weet potato \\ Some diets are brownies, smooth- ie bowls, tofu anti-intellectual, cheesecake, cour- anti-fact and anti- gette noodles. Call it, name it, evidence based \\ Sit’s all out there. The crowned act: You can get diet gurus so charismatical- glow-in-the-dark ly persuade you to convert the anti-grain Hemsley sisters, ice cream. to these superior versions. sweet-potato-head Deliciously You might have God forbid refined sugar. Ella (Ella Woodward), and heard somewhere No dairy. No gluten. Ca- alkaline diet king Dr. Robert that Tonic water pri-Sonne? What’s that? Young. I implore you all to Fglows under UV light, but I don’t hate these things, watch the documentary your- and medicine, as it is germ between grain and some the story of the glow-in-the- and one of each healthy des- selves for a more hard-hitting theory which forms the auto-immune diseases. dark ice cream takes all that sert category a week (give impact than my black and platform of our biomedical However, gastroenterologist one step further. Its jellyfish me a warmed vegan apple white words, but a few key understanding. Yeo called Alessio Pasano, who ironi- flavoured! crumble cheesecake anytime, points I did find intriguing and it ‘anti-intellectual, anti-fact cally inspired Dr. Davis with Using the physics of friend) could do my sweet simple enough to relay right and anti-evidence based’. some of his studies in the first fluorescence, animals can tooth and insulin levels some here. Another popular diet now- place, does not agree. In fact, produce light by a phenome- good. Some may also turn Let’s start with the alkaline adays is the gluten-free diet, the popularized book ‘Grain non called bioluminescence to these options for ethical diet, championed by Dr which only has an effect Brain’ argues that less than – they produce proteins reasons, to avoid animal Young. He proposes the idea if you’re born with coeliac 50g of carbohydrates a day which absorb light and products. But something is that more alkaline foods such disease, or an intolerance to could have a positive effect then emit it in a particular a little fishy when trends as most fruits and vegeta- this particular food group. on a whole host of diseases colour, making them glow in become obsessions, and bles, soybeans and tofu, will Gluten itself is the main such as tourette’s, ADHD, the dark to attract mates or obsession turns into fear, and balance the pH of our slightly protein of wheat, and pro- mood disorders and epilepsy. warn off predators. Jellyfish fear spurs total elimination of acidic blood, all in the context ponents of this diet such as I hate to admit it, but this are some of the most famous food groups. This health con- of disease supposedly being the sparkly Hemsley sisters is the zenith of unnecessary bioluminescent creatures, sciousness does have a rather down to the environment argue that gluten increases harm. All around us there since the ‘green fluorescent ugly truth. in which the bacteria are inflammation and enhances are just scintillas of truth. The protein’ (GFP) made by them Just recently, I had the per- in, not the pathogen itself. all sorts of nasty infections. current proliferation of too revolutionized biological sonal privilege of watching Effectively, this is a big slap in The science behind this? Dr. much and too far should be experiments by allowing a pretty newly-released BBC the face to the founders of the Yeo went behind the scenes stemmed, and maybe you scientists to mark specific documentary, hosted by the germ theory of disease, such to meet scientists research- should put your feet up and proteins in cells and thus clever and amusing Giles as Pasteur and Koch, who ing this effect. The idea relax with a real brownie. If watch them under a fluores- Yeo, who sharply and fluidly acknowledged the bacteria is that gluten creates gut you’re one of those who feel cent microscope. shuts down all nonsensical or virus as the causative permeability thanks to its anxiety around a piece of The company ‘Lick Me, nutrition theories promoted agents, not the environment. protein component, ‘gliadin’, cake, acknowledge the fear, I’m Delicious’ has now put by today’s social media-cum- This sounds slightly horrific and this consequently allows but try and see how these that same protein in an ice pseudo-health gurus such as in the context of science more foreign substances foods actually effect your cream, so when the protein through, enhancing infection body, as everyone is different. is warmed up and exposed infiltration and sustained Think about what’s really to the ions in your saliva it inflammation. Though it wrong here: your choice, or begins to emit light – or to does make sense, this, once false information? put it simply, it glows when again, is not properly sci- you lick it. Awesome? Yes. entifically backed, and you Expensive? Yes: £140 per may already be born with a scoop to be precise. leakier gut, a faulty immune Perhaps more insane, the system, or simply have a \\ Current nutrition same company made a genetic predisposition to advice is too far flavour of ice cream called intolerance of gluten. ‘The Arousal’, which con- Oh, and the whole stemmed. Maybe tains 25mg of Viagra per no-grain fad? Dr. William you should relax scoop and tastes like cham- Davis, author of Wheat pagne. Just make sure you Belly, argues that a with a real brownie, don’t comfort eat the whole completely grain-free and see how it tub in one sitting. diet supports a healthy Another one of Mr. Aran immune system since there actually affects your Shaunak’s Little Bites of are apparent connections body \\ Science 12 felixonline.co.uk/science [email protected] Friday 17 January 2017 felix SCIENCE Wearing your heart in your sleeve Lizzie Riach gives an overview of new robotic technology designed to help keep the heart beating after heart failure

so-called ‘soft \\ The robot does have to take blood-thinning either have to be made \\ More testing robot’ has medications. Despite this, smaller or, like other devices, been invented not come into direct clots often occur and cause be worn around the waist of will have to be to help keep contact with the severe problems in up to 20% the patient. A lot more testing done to look at the human of patients. on live models and in animals heart beating. blood, reducing the This new soft robot is with chronic heart failure long-term effects of ADeveloped by researchers risk of blood clots \\ comprised of a silicon sleeve implantation \\ from Harvard University and that takes inspiration from the Boston Children’s Hospital, heart itself and is designed the robot fits around the heart Around 41 million people to simply enhance heart will have to be tested to look and helps it pump blood. This suffer from heart failure function by closely mimicking at the long-term effects of could mean a significantly worldwide, which is termed it. There have already been wearing this heart-saving higher quality of life for peo- as ‘the inability to pump suffi- in vivo results on a pig heart. sleeve, as well as finding new ple that have survived heart cient blood to the body’. Up The robot itself is customiz- ways to attach it to the heart attacks but suffer from heart until now, the only option for able depending on which tissue (the current methods failure, a growing popula- people with severe cases has side of the heart is weaker are not good for long-term tion in this day and age. The been heart transplants, but and therefore needs more implantation). robot itself does not come into donors are thin on the ground help to pump blood. Despite This is an exciting step in direct contact with the blood, and many die whilst on the problems such as inflam- the field of applied robotics. reducing potential risks such waiting list. Previous devices mation at the device-tissue It looks like robots that can as blood clotting. Instead, the to help heart function, known interface, these preliminary easily interact with and mimic heart is encased in a sleeve as ‘ventricular assist devices’ tests look promising. In the tissues is the future could which mimics the outer layers (VADs) are limited, and are current model, the device is a have a firm future within the of cardiovascular tissue, used mainly as life-prolonging tethered implantable system medical world. Perhaps one allowing the material to act therapy. VADs work by inter- that uses wall-compressed day it’ll be the norm to have in a similar way to the heart acting with valves to increase air supply to allow the robot robotically-enhanced tissues within it. blood flow, whilst patients to work. Future models will \\ Ellen Roche/Harvard SEAS keeping us alive? Choosing mates using logic Ipsita Herlekar explains how fruit flies have been found to use logical reasoning when choosing partners

new study has different genetic strains. With eyesight and sense of smell discovered as many as 2700 trials using were impaired, the males that fruit flies different combination of male failed to detect the ranking (Drosophila and female fruit flies, it was hierarchy in females, leading melano- found that males were able to the scientists to conclude that gaster), unlike pick out females that are most the choices made earlier were Amany of us make rational likely to produce the maxi- based on a combination of decisions while choosing mum amount of offspring. visual and olfactory cues. partners. The males were also found Making decisions based Experiments were con- to be consistent in their on logic has always been ducted by scientists from the choices, choosing females associated as a trait unique University of British Columbia ranking higher in the hier- \\ stoppestinfo to humans. This study turns and University of Washing- archy over the others. For out to be among the first of ton, where, individual male example; if female fruit fly a choice between B and C, conducted but, after impair- its kind, providing evidence flies were given the choice A is the highest in rank, fol- the males chose B. The rank- ing either the sense of smell that some species besides of choosing between two lowed by B, C, D and so on, ing ranking of a female fruit or the sight of the male fruit humans may also be capable females as their mates. Male males, when given a choice fly relates to the amount of flies, their mate choosing of rational decision making. fruit flies were paired with between A and B, always offspring it is able to produce. pattern remained unchanged. processes. 10 different females flies of chose A. Similarly when given Similar experiments were However, when both their Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 13

CULTURE elix by Chilean director Pablo in-between. f Larraín, probably best known Larraín displays a huge \\ Natalie Portman’s in the UK for his Gael García amount of control and Bernal-starring 2012 filmNO reserve in his depiction of the performance is There will – is a wrought, tense, and assassination and its brutal masterful, with immensely powerful drama, aftermath. It is a perfect one that has not left my mind demonstration of the effective- every vocal tic for days. ness of controlled violence, of Jackie’s voice never be The screenplay by Noah where the explicit gore lasts Oppenheim is an extremely merely seconds, but stays with being captured in a impressive piece of writing, you long after the scene ends. hauntingly perfect expertly weaving multiple From the opening scenes, interpretation \\ another timelines and interactions Larraín manages to maintain into a straightforward story. a pace that never feels self-in- The narrative straddles dulgent. Each interaction and theme is echoed throughout a number of timeframes, every shot of Portman feels the film. Camelot but is underpinned by an important in creating this Indeed, this is found within interview for LIFE Magazine, emotional landscape, and at the excellent Under the Skin conducted a week after her no point in its one hour and composer Mica Levi. First husband’s assassination 40 minutes’ running time did of all, it is refreshing to find by Billy Crudup’s unnamed I feel bored. The camera is that the composer is not a journalist. From the front room primarily focussed on Natalie middle-aged white man or of Jackie Kennedy’s house in Portman’s face, allowing us Justin Hurwitz. Levi is the Massachusetts, we flick back to see every quiver of the first female nominee since eyebrow, every pursing of 2000, and one of only three the lips. At times Stephane women to have been nomi- \\ Noah Fontaine’s cinematography is nated for scoring a film. The almost claustrophobia-induc- music hauntingly combines Oppenheim’s ing, and in the most emotional both synthesised keyboards screenplay is an scenes it seems almost too and strings, and – like all invasive, making you wish great film music – works extremely impressive that the camera would step as a unique piece of art by piece of writing, away from Jackie. itself. Even if you remember Natalie Portman’s perfor- no melodies at all from the expertly weaving mance is a masterful one, soundtrack, you will remem- multiple timelines with every vocal tic, nuance, ber the hair-raising string and the breathy lilt of Jackie’s leitmotif that starts the film: as and interactions into voice being captured in a the strings descend, they slur, Natalie Portman, whose pitch-perfect Jackie a straightforward hauntingly perfect inter- almost out of tune, but even- captivates \\ 20th Century Fox pretation. There have been tually find a solid note upon story \\ many reviewers who have which to remain transfixed. In described her performance a lot of ways, this main theme as camp and alienating, and seems to be emblematic of and forth between the assas- in all fairness, there are a few Jackie herself. Her inner tur- sination itself, Jackie’s 1962 lines where the theatricality moil manifests externally as Jonathan Masters televised tour of the white and archness of her delivery rambling about how Lincoln’s house, and meetings with vari- seem almost overacted. With widow had to sell all their ous characters in her life. that said, this is clearly inten- furniture and died alone, but Chilean director Pablo Larraín The supporting cast is tional: Larraín shows us how towards the end of the film, comprised of many fine Jacqueline Kennedy, the wife as she dictates what may and makes his English-language debut performances, with a par- of a former congressman, has may not be published in LIFE, ticular highlight being Peter been thrust into the spotlight we see her move past the with Jackie, a simmering biopic Sarsgaard – who is endlessly with no obvious desire to grief to find her stability. charismatic and mercurial be famous, and as such has As the credits started to roll, of first lady Jackie Kennedy, in any role he is given – as created this public persona as and everybody remained in John F. Kennedy. The film an extension of her husband’s their seats for just a moment played masterfully by Natalie also features Greta Gerwig, political persona. The way longer, there was one line Richard E. Grant, John she trips over her words that echoed through my head: Portman, in the days following Carroll Lynch, and John Hurt, during the white house tour, “I have grown accustomed whose Irish priest character or the nervous darting of to what people believe and her husband’s assassination seems to be unsure in what her eyes, casting around for what I know to be real”. accent he is supposed to be support, add up to create a Jackie is an immersive exam- he first feeling I had to be packaged in a 3-hour- speaking. Since most of the woman whose entire identity ination of the dichotomy of when viewing the long portentous montage film is spent in Boston and the was contained within her hus- public and private personas, trailer for Jackie of shots of Natalie Portman wider Massachusetts area, it band and his career. From the but above that, it is a complex was a familiar looking sad out of windows. is inevitable there is an Irish moment she was left grasping interrogation of grief and weariness: here What I am happy to report, priest, but Hurt’s accent seems the splintered fragments of what the living must come to was a story that however, is that Jackie – the to slip from Dublin, back to her husband’s skull, this dual- terms with once the dead are Tsounded interesting, but was first english-language film his own, and then somewhere ity was shattered, and this buried. 14 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 15

elix CULTURE CULTURE elix work than, say, Arrival, with – is that La La Land will take damn if it’s not fun to take f complex direction from Pablo home most of the awards. part,f even for an evening, in Larraín bolstering the tricky But what do the Academy all the pomp of Hollywood. Our Academy Award #hottake screenplay, which darts back Awards even mean? Not that Huppert b elle ecom and forth. That being said, I much really. This might be sab e I the am thrilled that the Academy the most obvious of hot-takes In the run-up to the Acad- ld t ou hi has recognised Mica Levi for for anyone who follows the emy Awards, felix will be C rd her haunting score, following world of film, but looking running innumerable articles Our Culture Editor, Fred Fyles, fo re her noted omission for Under back over the last decade on the nominees. If you’re ig the Skin a few years ago. or so of ceremonies, and a interested in letting us know gives you the run-down on the n - la She is only the third woman pattern becomes clear: how who should win Best Picture, n to be nominated for scoring little we really care about Academy Award nominations for g who has been overlooked, or u a a film, and she more than the Oscars after everything just how sick of awards you g deserves to win the top prize. has died down. How many of are, drop us a line. this year, from the meteoric rise of e The most noted omission, us can say that we regularly w

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e t e m r n t i a February 26th? My predic- agree with the entire ethos tion – and everyone else’s of artistic competitions…but La La Land, a love-letter to Hollywood, wins massive acclaim from Hollywood industry – shocker! \\ 20th Century Fox

he announcement ceremony, when The Artist backlash against La La Land – major categories. Casey seems to be a breath of fresh of the nominees for and Hugo, both in thrall to after months of being told that Affleck already seems to be air, if only because Alejandro orillaz are the far east” and “I thought The song comes with an the 89th Academy the ‘magic of cinema’, took it was a masterpiece, those a shoe-in for the Best Actor G. Iñárritu decided 2016 was back – and the best way to perfect our accompanying music video, Awards this home five awards apiece. who went and found instead prize, with his emotionally miserable enough without him this time tree / Is by building walls”. which is nowhere to be seen week marked the Taking this into account, the an empty-hearted, reaction- understated performance releasing another film (thank they are as This is all underscored with on the recently revamped beginning of the success of La La Land – which ary imitation of past greats as a man consumed with God). The last few years political as the most standout trait of the Gorillaz website, suggesting Tend of the year-long awards essentially functions as a love were sorely disappointed. silent grief. The Best Actress have seen mainly big-budget they are song – a hypnotic underlying the piece is not something process, which begins with letter to Hollywood – is not a Manchester by the Sea award, meanwhile, is a more spectacles getting the Best Gwhacky. Having teased a beat, marked by an arrhyth- from the body of work of the the Cannes Film Festival shock. has also had a good run, open field: Emma Stone La( Director prize, but of the list new album through Instagram mic beeping which persists upcoming album. in May, and ends with the The question is whether being nominated for six La Land), Isabelle Huppert this year, only Hacksaw Ridge and SoundCloud releases throughout the whole track Although rather half-handed Oscars, 8 months later. As La La Land can continue awards, all of which are in (Elle), and Natalie Portman seems to fit the traditional over the past few months, like an incurable sickness. in the nature of it’s release, usual, the list of nominees the run it’s had this award (Jackie) have all been picking macho mould (it remains to Gorillaz released the The verse builds up into an Hallelujah Money is an excel- contains few surprises, with season, which peaked with up gongs, and Ruth Negga’s be seen whether Mel Gibson’s brand new track Hallelujah exhausting chorus calling for lent piece of work, teeming the Academy of Motion a record-setting night at the performance in Loving could previous racist and homopho- Money (ft. Benjamin “hallelujah money”, which with signature Gorillaz quirks. Picture Arts and Sciences Golden Globes, or whether also get some traction. The bic behaviour will stand in Clementine) on the eve of is backed by an innocent Whilst the track offers loads choosing to stay on the Moonlight or Arrival inclusion of Meryl Streep his way). I would argue that Trump’s inauguration. The sounding choir, contrasting in itself, it’s only one side of straight and narrow, throwing – each with eight on the list – for the Arrival is more of a cerebral Damon Albarn-led virtual Clementine’s deep vocals. the coin, with the accompa- out very few left-field choices. nominations – can underwhelming Flor- affair than an SFX-flick, and band described the track The resounding message of nying music video providing Damien Chazelle’s musical knock it off the top ence Foster Jenkins La La Land might be grand in in their own words as a the track follows succinctly thought-provoking visuals on romp through an imagined perch. If either had – leaves a nasty scope, but its set pieces are “commentary on a politically- with Albarn’s melancholic top. Whilst Hallelujah Money Hollywood, La La Land, leads a chance, it would taste in the mouth, noticeably more musically-in- charged, historical moment”. vocals which question how is intentionally separate from the pack, with 14 nomina- be Moonlight, especially consid- clined than previous winners. The track itself heavily we can know “we are still the upcoming album, if it were tions; a record-tying haul, this which has been ering that Amy What is grating with this features the deep, powerful human” in this new era of pol- considered a sign of the music puts in on par with Titanic picking up critical Adams (who deliv- year’s list is the lack of voice of Clementine, which itics. Albarn’s speaker-tronic to come, it wouldn’t be a bad and All About Eve as the acclaim since ered two great daring. Tom Ford’s Noctur- dominates the track with an voice also humbly asks “How thing at all. \\ Gorillaz (@gorillaz) most nominated film of all its premiere at performances nal Animals, a deep, heady omnipotent, commanding we will dream?” and “How By Sam Wood time. The raft of nominations Telluride. (Arrival, this year in Arrival thriller, only gets a nod for aura. The lyrical parts sung we will love?” in this new – which includes Best Film, which has the bulk and Nocturnal Michael Shannon in the Best by Clementine imitate the system. Best Actor, Best Actress, and of its nominations Animals) is not even Supporting Actor category; voice of Trump with eery Artistically, the face of Best Director – is unsurpris- in the more technical nominated. I would Amy Adams’ performance lines such as “Thank you my Gorillaz is still recognisable ing; there is nothing more categories, is likely to have also loved to see goes unrecognised, and so friend/for trusting me” and since their last commercial that the Academy loves more fill in theGravity /Mad Rebecca Hall rewarded for does Ford’s direction and the sobering “It is love, that is outing in 2010. Interestingly, Hallelujah than a film which indulges Max/Grand Budapest Hotel her performance in Christine, screenplay. Similarly, Jackie the root of all evil”. Further to this is not a marked official their romantic fantasies about space, with a high number which – for me – has been only has three nominations, this, the music video and lyrics Gorillaz release - the song is what commercial film-mak- of wins, but none of the ‘big the best performance I’ve for Best Costume Design, Best are littered with references not a single and can only be Manchester by the Sea has Money ing can achieve. One only ones’.) Online, there seems seen all year. Score, and Best Actress. It is a to current affairs with the found on the YouTube channel picked up six nominations \\ needs to look back to 2012’s to have been a rumbling of a AllStar/Studio Canal The Best Director category far more audaciously daring imagery of “scarecrows from of culture site uproxx.com. HYDE PARK RELAYS 2017 | enter now 18 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 19 elix CULTURE CULTURE felix f 5. Travis Scott | Astroworld Most anticipated hip-hop albums of 2017 Travis Scott had an incredible 2016, releasing his stunning sophomore album, Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight, which went to number one and was one of my favourite albums of 2016. The simple fact is Travis Scott’s music is pure fire and, if his past solo albums,Rodeo and Birds, 2016 was an outstanding year for hip-hop and urban culture, with all the major players dropping are anything to go by, we can safely say that Astroworld will be lit.

projects. Even artists like J. Cole and Frank Ocean rediscovered their ability to actually release \\ The Come Up Show some music. In the UK, the grime and urban scene continued to flourish. It seems like an impossible task for 2017 to top last year but, after only a month, we’ve already been treated to new material 4. Big Sean | I Decided

from Wiley and a ‘playlist’ from Drake on the horizon, we have plenty to look forward to. Big Sean’s fourth studio album, I Decided, is scheduled for release on 3rd February and he’s already released two singles Bounce Back and Andy Djaba Moves to promote the album. Both tracks are impressive and are further proof of Big Sean’s continued progression as an artist. The concept behind the album centres on how making the correct decision at important moments can completely change your life. Big Sean has also 10. Lil Wayne | Tha Cast your mind back to June 2008. Lil Wayne and Birdman were still best mates and Wayne had just dropped his critically confirmed that Eminem is featured on the album and, following a co-sign from Andre 3000, I can’t wait to hear this album. acclaimed sixth studio album, including four top 20 singles, and went on to be Wayne’s most successful to date, selling 3.6 million Carter V copies and winning the Grammy for ‘Best Rap Album’ in 2009. Since then, a lot has happened in Lil Wayne’s personal life, including The Come Up Show \\ a prison sentence and the threat of retirement. It’s fair to say that Lil Wayne’s career has stalled in recent years. In 2013, Wayne announced that Tha Carter V would be his final album. It was originally scheduled for release in late 2014, however a messy con- tract dispute between Lil Wayne and Birdman has meant that fans have been starved of Tha Carter V for more than two years. 3. Migos | Culture

9. A$AP Rocky Atlanta rap trio Migos first started seeing major success in 2013 when they burst onto the scene with the Drake-assistedVersace . They swiftly followed this up with hits like Fight Night and Hannah Montana, but the buzz around Migos had seemingly died down in A$AP Rocky, the leader of the A$AP Mob, hasn’t released a solo project since his second studio album: 2015’s At. Long. Last. A$AP. The the last couple of years. That is, of course, until they dropped Bad and Boujee. Its success saw it reach number one and brought with album was brilliant and definitely one of the best projects of that year, but his releases have been sparse ever since, with Rocky preferring it a fresh wave of widespread appreciation of Migos. This went as far as a shout out from Donald Glover (Childish Gambino) at to instead focus on his other interests, like Kendall Jenner. He’s recently been pictured in the studio with the likes of Lenny Kravitz and Jim the 2017 Golden Globes award show, where he thanked Migos for making Bad and Boujee, describing it as “the best song ever” Jonsin and, if the experimental style of his last album is anything to go by, it will be interesting to hear what’s being cooked up. (I couldn’t agree more!). Quavo, the 2016 king of features, is complemented well by Offset’s staccato delivery and Takeoff’s crazy ad-lib game, making Migos the perfect blend of high energy trap music. Culture is scheduled for release on 27th January and they have recently released more tracks to promote the album. Most notably, they released T-Shirt, the visuals for which are cold, and The Come Up Show \\ Call Casting, the video for which was recorded in Nigeria, where they gave what looked like a truly incredible performance.

8. Jay Z \\ Brett Weinstein

Jay Z is undeniably a living hip-hop legend and doesn’t need to prove himself to anybody. However he hasn’t released a classic album 2. Drake | More Life since his epic collaborative effort with Kanye West- 2011’s Watch the Throne (2013’s Magna Carta Holy Grail was solid but nothing special in my opinion) and it feels as though we fans are owed one more classic album from this true hip-hop great before he retires. Jermaine Dupree and Vic Mensa have both hinted that this album does in fact exist and is not just the stuff of legend. With his superstar I am of the opinion that Drake actually releases too often and it diminishes the impact of his music. Having said that, Drake had a phe- wife Beyoncé effectively releasing a Jay Z diss album in Lemonade last year, Jay has a lot to address on this album, not least the infidelity nomenal 2016 and you simply can’t ignore him or deny his ability to make bangers. Therefore, when he announced on 24th October that rumours. Will he tell us who ‘Becky with the good hair’ really is? he would be releasing a ‘playlist’ called More Life in December, I was naturally excited (and intrigued to know the difference between a playlist and an album). Nineteen85, producer and member of OVO R&B duo dvsn, revealed that Drake will use More Life to “introduce new \\ Matthew Harrison music and new artists to the rest of the world”. More Life is expected to be heavy on features, with rumoured guests including Bryson Tiller and J. Lo, and Drake has already released three tracks in support of the ‘playlist’: Fake Love, Two Birds, One Stone and the 21 Savage-assisted Sneakin’. Drake delayed its release to the “top of 2017”, so we could be listening to More Life in the very near future. I was a big fan of Vic Mensa’s EP, There’s a Lot Going On, which he released last summer and it whetted fans’ appetites for his 7. Vic Mensa m.shattock \\ debut album. Vic is a frequent collaborator with the likes of fellow Chicago rappers Kanye West and Chance The Rapper and fea- tures heavily on Chance’s early mixtapes (his verse on Cocoa Butter Kisses is breathtaking). There are many similarities between Vic and Chance, but where Chance paints an optimistic and hopeful picture with his gospel-inspired raps, Vic’s music has a much 1. Kanye West | Turbo Grafx 16 darker message. Vic’s raps also carry a very political message, addressing matters ranging from police brutality to systemic racism in America. With Donald Trump beginning his presidency in earnest, I’m sure Vic has a lot to get off his chest on this album. In the last few months of 2016 alone, Kanye West went through enough drama to fuel multiple albums’ worth of material to comment on. His wife, Kim Kardashian, was robbed at gunpoint in Paris and this traumatic event seemingly triggered a downward spiral which involved the cancellation of the remainder of his Saint Pablo, saw his public rants become even more erratic and confusing and 6. Joey Bada$$ | A.A.B.A. culminated in his involuntary hospitalisation due to exhaustion and stress. Nobody knows what kind of mental state Kanye is in right now, but we do know that the last time Kanye went through emotional turmoil and receded from the limelight, he returned with My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, a classic album which is widely regarded as his best work. It’s impossible to know what to expect Joey Bada$$’s debut album B4.DA.$$ was a low key banger and one of the best projects of 2015. He’s been very quiet since its release, from Kanye’s next project, which makes its release all the more exciting. I am firmly in the I miss the old Kanye camp and, in my preferring to focus on his acting skills (he has a recurring role on Mr. Robot) and dropping just a handful of tracks in the meantime. His opinion, his first two albums,The College Dropout and Late Registration are topped only by My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Will follow up album A.A.B.A. was originally scheduled to drop on 8th November 2016 (U.S. Election Day) but was delayed for “perfection”. He this album see the return of the old Kanye? Could we will finally get an explanation for that infamous meeting with Donald Trump? The seems to be wanting to take a more political approach with his music and dropped a freestyle called Land of the Free on 20th January (his fantastic The Life of Pablo was one of the highlights of 2016 and, if Kanye can follow it up with an album of comparable or even better birthday and Trump’s Inauguration Day). If you are a Narcos fan or if you just want to hear some pure heat, listen to his track Front & Center, quality, then we are all in for a treat this year. which samples the theme tune. \\ Gage Skidmore \\ The Come Up Show 20 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 17 January 2017

elix CULTURE f ohn Berger once woman’s legs, sticking up and Guerrilla Girls point out – wrote, 'A woman juxtaposed against a back- that many galleries would must continually drop of woodland trees; the much rather hang images of watch herself,’ implication is that something women on their walls than The writer and has gone horribly wrong, but works by actual women. In a Terrains of the critic who died the viewer is caught in the similar theme, as part of her earlierJ this month continued, middle of the story, left unsure Räumer series, Candida Höfer ‘she is almost continually about what is happening or shows the empty hall of the accompanied by her own why. Interrupted narratives Palazzo Zenobio in Venice, Body is a bold image of herself.’ There are further explored in Justine but retains a reflection of is never a situation where Kurland’s unsettling works. herself in a mirror, making her Berger’s words don’t shed presence fully known. light on complex ideas, but One of the highlights of but beguiling these lines have heightened \\ While multiple this show is the multiplicity of relevance in regards to voices on display. The name Terrains of the Body, a meanings can be a of the show itself reflects collection of photographs great thing to expe- the multiple domains within show from the National Gallery the works: ‘terrain’ can be of Women in the Arts, rience, the exhibition a representation of nature, currently being shown at the is let down by the tracing the lineage of the Whitechapel Gallery. ‘earth mother’ iconography; The show – deliberately lack of explanatory but it also links in with power, taking place opposite a Guer- context for many of asking who has the right to rilla Girls exhibit highlighting define what constitutes a the lack of women in the arts the works \\ certain territory. – attempts to pack a legion But while multiple meanings of narratives within a small can be a great thing to expe- space, connecting works from One shows pregnant women rience, the exhibition is let 17 artists working across five and young children frolicking down by the lack of explana- continents. The linking thread by a waterfall, while the other tory context for many of the is that all works attempt features two girls lying on works. This is most obviously a to deal with how women a raft, being dragged by a problem in Marina Abramov- photographers deal with the third, possibly into the sea. ić’s piece, The Hero: originally female form in their work. These images present the a video-work dedicated to In some works, this is crystal female form in a way that her father, which featured clear: Nan Goldin’s piece denies the viewer the satisfac- her singing the Yugoslavian from The Ballad of Sexual tion of a complete narrative. national anthem from the time Dependency, which charted Hellen van Meene’s works of General Tito, in this exhibi- her life in New York of the combine this unsteady sto- tion it is only a still, meaning early 1980s, perfectly cap- ryline with a heady mix of we miss out on the full power tures the heady combination sensual textures and colours. of the original. Similarly, of celebration and tragedy Her works are celebrations Nikki S. Lee’s pieces, from which defines her work. Simi- of surface, with Vermeer-light her series Projects, depict her larly, Rineke Dijkstra’s photos like dappling across her sub- immersing herself in different are taken from her Beach Por- jects, bringing an incredible American subcultures until she traits series, which show teens sense of tactility. Janaina is accepted – like Cindy Sher- Hellen van Meene, Untitled (79), (2000) \\ Hellen van Meene and Yancey Richardson Gallery posing on a beach; Dijkstra's Tschape’s work shares this man gone method actor – but work speaks of the awkward obsession with tone, and both the audience is never made transition point between child her and van Meene’s works aware of this. and adult at which the subject are reminiscent of Francesca Throughout Terrains of the is placed. Woodman’s haunting self-por- Body there are moments of In Anna Gaskell’s masterful traits, albeit with less of an clarity, where everything work, Eraser – a highlight emotional punch. begins to come together, of the show, and the only For other artists, photogra- but these are too often Fred Fyles video-work on display – a phy can be an opportunity to interrupted with pieces whose number of schoolgirls tell the examine the structures present lack of contextual information story of her own mother’s within the art world itself as distorts their meaning and death in a car accident. an institution. Kirsten Just- lessens their impact. If you Throughout the video, the nar- esen’s piece, which draws on want to get the most of this rative voice changes, through her previous work in the fem- strange terrain, I’d suggest Terrains of the Body is on at first, second, and third inist art movement, sees the bringing your own map. person, until the boundary artist herself transformed into the Whitechapel Gallery until between performer and audi- a work, as she climbs into a 16th April 2017 ence, surveyor and surveyed, display case of small statuary. is completely distorted. Justesen, who trained as a This blurring of voices mir- sculptor, is simultaneously the rors Gaskell’s photographic creator of art and a work of work: entitled Untitled #104 art itself; she both represents Free entry (A Short Story of Happen- and is represented. Justesen stance). The image shows a is no doubt aware – as the CALL FOR CONTRIBUTORS Phoenix is our creative outlet dedicated to showcasing the artistic and literary talents of our student body.

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Deadline | 28 February 2017 22 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 felix CULTURE Tne rising chorus of South Asian voices \\ Riz, a Pakistani Muslim, and Heems, a Hindu Punjabi, blend their individual identities and loudly shout down the casual racism often directed towards brown people \\

and Heems, a Hindu Pun- jabi, blend their individual identities and loudly shout down the casual racism often Change rarely comes from where you expect it \\ Tyler Ross directed towards brown people. The album loudly kicks off with stereotypical ast Saturday, Aziz increasingly important for way western media tends to \\ Whether by Arabic music – the kind that Ansari continued there to be prominent brown reduce them to stereotypes. one might normally find in the his meteoric rise to voices in the mainstream. Similarly, The Night Of deals chance or for soundtrack for Homeland, prominence by being Fortunately, this seems to with the uphill struggle young cultural reasons, any loudly announcing the arrival the first person of be changing as of late, with Muslim men face just to not of a terrorist. SSB, however, South Asian descent the increasing popularity of be presumed guilty. To his distinct South Asian embrace the beat and use it Lto host SNL. In his speech, shows like Master of None, credit, Ahmed has long been voice has been to rail against the injustices he highlights the rise of a and The Night Of. These are producing work that explores and frustrations propagated so-called ‘lower-case KKK’; shows that explore the South alternative minority narra- virtually non-existent by racial profiling. Through- the subtle resurgence and tives, such as Four Lions and in the zeitgeist \\ out the course of the rest of renormalisation of white The Road to Guantanamo. the album, Riz and Heems supremacy. Now more than \\ South Asians Unfortunately, these didn’t weave a tapestry of ear- ever, he suggests, minorities have anywhere near as much worms and bangers that need to speak out and resist. especially have attention as they deserved. catch the attention of any lis- South Asians especially traditionally been Ahmed’s participation in tener, simultaneously filing have traditionally been Rogue One and the hip- their grievances with an under-represented in media, under-represented in hop duo Swet Shop unsuspecting audience. and whether by chance or for media \\ Boys seems to be Echoing the Public cultural reasons, any distinct changing all that. Enemies and Black- South Asian voice has been Hip-Hop was stars of the past, virtually non-existent in the Asian voice with grace, sub- conceived as a SSB channels zeitgeist. With Trump’s build- tlety and, most importantly, triumphant voice the frustrations ing assault on Islam and the reserved ferocity. For the of rebellion. and concerns inevitable swell of suspicion longest time, any defences There is no need of South Asians and racism that follows, it is of ‘brown’ culture had to be to be timid or through a viru- made timidly, as if making the defensive, and it lently pervasive defence itself was some sort demands the full medium. Hope- of indication of guilt. Those embrace of any fully, more South like Ansari and Riz Ahmed, culture that uses Asians will ride however, are no longer afraid it as a voice. If any the slipstreams of to flaunt their identities. Fol- medium would lend Ansari, Ahmed, and lowing the paths laid down by itself to the protest we Heems to vocalise our people like M.I.A, Ansari and need, it is this. Thankfully, concerns unflinchingly. Ahmed speak boisterously, Riz Ahmed and Heems, of unafraid to hold society to Das Racist fame, have seen fit account. to give us exactly that. Swet Ansari’s Master of None, Shop Boys fuses and covers On the prowl for another injustice to fight\\ Gordon Corell hopefully returning for its every niche of South Asian second season this year, deals culture, and flamboyantly with his difficulty getting work flaunts them. as an Indian actor, and the Riz, a Pakistani Muslim, Anurag Deshpande Friday 27 January 2016 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 23 MILLENNIALS felix The ballad of Pokémon GO Saad Ahmed gives the dirt on why Pokémon GO isn’t fun and was doomed to fail

Blasted surver issues again \\ Skinny Casual Lover

h, Pokémon people in other countries can’t even battle or trade with battle your Pokémon against And now? Well, Pokémon GO. What it hack their phones to play it. other people. those of other players. The GO is dead now. It didn’t was and what The app isn’t exactly like a These are all crucial ele- battles are just about tapping go down overnight, it was it could have Pokémon game and has its ments that made the original the screen, which spams your more of a gradual decline as been. It was a own mechanics. You basically Pokémon games so popular. basic attack, until you build sensation that walk around, looking for Though there was hope that up enough charge to hold Agripped so many people only Pokémon and have to catch Niantic would expand on down on the screen to charge \\ There weren’t to come crashing down. as many as possible. To the GO concept and add on up an advanced attack that Let’s think back to early evolve them, you need to some of the missing elements, does more damage and really any rewards 2016 when Pokémon GO was catch more of the same rather it didn’t, and without them pauses the battle to play a or stories to keep us just an innovating idea. One than battle. So the game gets the novelty of Pokémon GO cut scene. This mechanic is that got people excited. It one of the great things about wears out fast. There weren’t dull, infrequent, and does not going \\ was touted to be an AR game Pokémon right, the catching really any rewards or stories compare to the more intense which would essentially be aspect. Wanting to catch all and strategic battling of the the closest thing to Pokémon the Pokémon and evolve the Nintendo games. people started to get bored in real life. Given the popu- ones you have gets everyone The novelty of Pokémon and realize there really larity of the original games in a frenzy to walk down is catching them, but GO’s wasn’t anything left to do. and how many people have every possible street and try mechanism manages to Even the rivalry between the watched the anime over the and see how many critters muddle that up. In the original three factions couldn’t keep years, it was something many they can catch. games, catching them all is it going. The rivalry was of us were really looking Unfortunately, there is very possible, provided you really just people insulting nothing more to Pokémon put in the time and effort. each other on the internet. GO. That’s it. If you aren’t You also need to battle And sure, updates might be \\ A lot of features willing or able to go on two Pokémon before you catch coming out soon introducing hour walks around pokéstop them which makes the act of new Pokémon and features from the original populated areas, the game to keep us going. We never catching more intense and but honestly, it’s too little too games are absent in basically becomes unplay- felt any connection to our more satisfying. In GO, all late. able. This is because it’s the Pokémon. In the Pokémon you do is throw pokéballs, It’s a real shame, Pokémon GO \\ only way to get pokéballs games, we could pick certain taking away some of the GO could have become and it is the only way to Pokémon, battle with them, appeal. Also, only certain something really special. get health recovery items and raise them. In GO, it Pokémon are common, the Unfortunately it jettisoned a forward to. which you need to level up became just about catching rest vary between rare and lot of what made Pokémon Skip ahead to July: or fight at gyms. Also, a lot them and discarding them for non-existent. You need to go special with the end result Pokémon GO is released and of features from the original more candies. to all sorts of areas and really being a mediocre game is an instant hit. It becomes games are absent in GO. You Battling is a big part of push yourself just to complete which was constantly plagued the most downloaded app can’t form a good team and Pokémon; the competitive a fraction of the Pokédex and with server issues. Maybe game; even people who have have strategised battles, you battling scene is really strong get your beloved Charizard.. in the future it will make a never had anything to do can’t battle gyms and collect and can be as complex as If you “gotta catch em all” but resurgence and regain its lost with Pokémon start playing badges, there’s no story to chess. In Pokémon GO, gyms you actually physically can’t, glory, but until then, I’ll play it. It gets to the point where indicate progression, and you are the only place you can what’s the point? Pokémon Moon. Union Page

Our Strategy 2017-20 is our vision for the future of Imperial College Union.

On Thursday 19 January, student leaders, Imperial College Union staff and College figures gathered in Metric for the launch of Our Strategy; an ambitious plan to take our activities to the next level. The launch event also saw the reveal of our new strategic themes: For You, For Your Support, For Your Development, For Your Voice and Your Union. We also have a refreshed set of organisational values which set out the kind of organisation we aim to be: one that demonstrates leadership, partnership, democracy and inclusivity in everything that we do. You can explore the strategy and download it online. imperialcollegeunion.org/strategy Register for the Social Enterprise workshops

As part of the Union’s continued support of student social entrepreneurs, we are pleased to announce a series of bespoke workshops designed to develop entrepreneurial talent at Imperial.

We’ve lined up three fantastic workshops for social entrepreneurs in the run up to the A.C.T. Now! final showcase in March. These free sessions are open to all students who are engaged with, or are looking to start, social enterprise initiatives during their time at Imperial.

Each session is specifically designed to enhance the skills of student social entrepreneurs, enabling them to move their social intiatives forward and explore the world of social enterprise.

Join us on Wednesday 1 February for the first session, Building a Powerful Presence, delivered by the Royal Central School of Speech & Drama. This hands-on session will help you to: develop your confidence in public speaking, make an impact when presenting, pitching or networking, speak with confidence about your enterprise intiative.

Find out more and register now at imperialcollegeunion.org/news Nominate someone great for a Student Academic Choice Award

Has someone in College helped you through tough times or gone the extra mile to explain a concept or support your research? If there’s anyone who stands out to you, then let them know! Our Student Academic Choice Awards (SACAs) celebrate great work at Imperial and gives you a chance to say thank you.

You can nominate as many people as you like, in as many categories as you like - and if your nominee is shortlisted, you might get a free ticket to the ceremony! Nominations are open until Sunday 26 February. Show your appreciation by nominating someone great for a SACA. imperialcollegeunion.org/sacas

imperialcollegeunion.org Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 25 MILLENNIALS felix Avocado for breakfast? So #2k16

Firedog is on a mission to revamp the hipster breakfast, causing panic amongst avocado growers worldwide. Enter a morning realm of grilled halloumi, Sujuk and Lor.

Christy Lam

ezze. morning a few days later, A word I hopped along the quiet meaning a Newman Street to Firedog. selection Pushing open the dark, of small wooden doors, I was lead to appetizers. a surprise – bassy, electronic MAnd a word that I have music, a bar, and their logo recently started noticing in bright neon lights in pink, following a sharing plates blue and red on the wall. I trend that has finally hit the instantly fell in love with their London food scene. After unique vibes. were refreshing, balancing flavours in the form of staple \\ Just seeing the some hearty meals, I have The waiters were just laying out the cheeses and Sujuk. brunch dishes. adjusted my taste buds (and the table with the mezze My favourite was their house The baked eggs came with tiny terracotta stomach) to this wonderful dishes as I walked further chilli eggs, that is, scrambled herb yoghurt, chilli oil, the plates and tiles was dining culture home to into the restaurant. Just eggs with harissa – it was sweetness from the charred Turkey, Greece and the seeing the tiny terracotta a delicious change from my peppers and the strong, enough to get my Middle East. plates and tiles was enough usual scrambled eggs on enticing smoky flavours from adrenaline rushing. For me, the beauty of to get my adrenaline rush- toast. the smoked tomatoes. mezze is to watch the dishes ing. Even the slab of butter And when we thought we’d The Sujuk hash starred Even the slab of on the table grow into a had its own mini tile. I was eaten enough to ditch our chunks of the sausage itself, butter had its own party of flavours, textures not the only one – the whole lunch boxes and cancel our combined with sweet roasted and colours. Not only that, room was filled with gasps dinner dates, we were also onions, spinach, potatoes, mini tile \\ but the hours of cheerful, and sparkling eyes set on the and a runny poached egg relaxed socializing and tables. on top. drinks that come with it. 5-minutes later we were all \\ Their mission: The Ozdemir Pasha II was leave without a 3-month Last week, an invite landed seated and excited to start. like a mini mezze selection food baby – and neither did in my inbox from Firedog Our eyes were bombarded reinvigorating the on a plate, featuring grilled Firedog. This breakfast was to try their breakfast mezze with the burst of colours, the morning dining halloumi, the tasty smoked indeed a creative, contem- menu. Firedog is a new variety of food and textures: tomatoes, fried eggs, and a porary and delicious twist Aegean inspired restaurant Aegean olives, grilled scene with their ‘no beetroot hummus that was a on the traditional Aegean near Tottenham Court Road, halloumi, freshly made Lor avocado’ policy and beautiful purple colour. recipes for anyone who’s boasting of their unique (a soft, Turkish curd cheese), What’s a breakfast menu tired of their boring crushed menu of dishes influenced Sujuk (a dry, spicy sausage), instead having you with a sweet option? How avocado on sourdough! by Greek and Turkish tomatoes with purple basil, wake up to about a jaw-dropping pres- culture, and their mission of cucumber with specks of entation of toasted brioche, reinvigorating the morning poppy seeds, clotted cream a feast of small juicy chargrilled plums, dining scene with their ‘no with honeycomb… and of plates \\ kaymak (clotted cream), avocado’ policy. course, a bowl of flatbreads pistachios and honey? I’d I’m always up for trying all to share and to mop up the happily replace my French the new restaurants popping tahini. introduced to the four all-day toast with this lighter, yet up in London, but waking up The spread was an adven- breakfast dishes, an option equally indulgent and to a feast of these delicious ture for my taste buds, for those who (sadly) can’t eggless version. small plates? YES, please! from my normal western fit the breakfast mezze. The It’s customary in the Med- (They did say to eat break- flavours to a hit of spices, plates were again a burst iterranean and the Middle fast like a king.) ingredients, and flavours. of colour, offering a taste East to not let your guests So one bright, sunny The tomatoes and cucumber of Aegean ingredients and Student Support Fund

If you suddenly find ContaCt the Student yourself in financial FinanCial Support team to Find out more: difficulties or experience an unexpected change +44 (0)20 7594 9014 in circumstances, you Student Hub, Level 3, Sherfield Building may be eligible to apply for emergency financial www.imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding help through the Student Support Fund. Friday 27 January 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 27 MILLENNIALS felix DDRRUUGGSS

Hands off our salvia Christopher Haigh

ight months ago Psychoactive Substances, psychoactive full stop”, said this in mind would it not be State for Health and Lord the UK government Commander Simon Bray, said our old friend Commander logical to, you know, perhaps Chancellor and Secretary of banned so-called in a press conference that Simon Bray. Therefore, this research them? Coming from State for Justice all having ‘legal highs’ under nearly 14,000 nitrous oxide allows the police to criminal- Imperial College, an almost studied philosophy, politics the Psychoactive canisters (commonly known ise vast swathes of young all-science university (Business and economics at Oxford this Substances Act. as laughing gas) had been people under the blanket ban School I’m looking at you), confirms my suspicions. When EThe law was intended to seized by the Metropolitan automatically. Perhaps not it is inherent to us to perform so many of the leaders of our stunt the trade of synthetic Police since the introduction something very in touch with research. I can’t imagine the country studied basically a chemicals that reproduce the of the act on May 26th 2016. the democratic underpinnings grade I’d get if I shit out a degree in banter, it’s hardly effect of traditional illegal He said this in a rather glum- of the United Kingdom. lab report without doing any surprising that they’re immune drugs. According to the faced serious manner. Maybe It is notable that this doesn’t form of background research, to the benefits, or methods, of Office for National Statistics, he should have had some apply to alcohol, caffeine and experimental research, or research. deaths linked to new laughing gas before he went cigarettes, which are exempt just any kind of research. With the new law banning psychoactive substances (the up to speak. from the new ban, despite But that appears to be the all psychoactive substances catchy government-approved Before this new legislation coming into effect only eight name for legal highs) rose was introduced, suppliers months ago we are yet to from 82 in 2014 to 114 in of legal highs could often see its full effects. In all 2015, so it’s easy to see skirt around existing rules by probability we will probably why politicians wanted them simply tweaking the chemical see a reduction in the usage banned so quickly. formula of the substance. Barry! Once upon a time, when the government was made aware Grab \\ What do you \\ I can’t imagine of a new chemical composi- the boys expect when the the grade I’d get tion they would outlaw that unique molecular structure. some Prime Minister if I shit out a lab As a result, manufacturers poppers has a degree in report without doing would then simply tweak their will you? geography? \\ any background research \\ \\ This doesn’t apply to alcohol, caffeine, of these drugs, however, and cigarettes, cocaine has been banned for After the first three months many decades and that stuff of the ban coming into force, despite their also still hasn’t disappeared. nearly 200 people were have psychoactive With the government contin- arrested due to some form ually waging an all-out war of involvement with legal effects \\ on drugs, it appears that we highs. If nothing else, we can will never see the day when say for certain this has put Not sure how but this feels relevant these potentially innovative an increased strain on our product to bring it into line substances could be used already creaky police depart- with the law. The govern- in research. But then again, ment. Additionally, hundreds ment since has since become also having psychoactive exact approach of the British what do you expect when the of shops have also shut down tired of this cat and mouse effects. I would wager that government, you’d think Prime Minister has a degree or stopped selling legal highs. game, which has led to the the percentage of people that that none of them studied a in geography? So much for the government’s introduction of the current die due to alcohol or ciga- respectable degree. Oh wait. commitment to help small/ legislation. Basically, “the rette related deaths is vastly They didn’t. With the Chan- local businesses. law can’t be outwitted in higher than the percentage cellor of the Exchequer, the If you’re struggling with drug The National Police Chiefs that sense anymore because of those who die from psy- Secretary of State for Work use, visit talktofrank.com Council’s lead on New if it’s psychoactive, it’s choactive substances. With and Pensions, Secretary of 28 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017 felix MILLENNIALS If we ignore all the If we can’t actually bad things that are imprison them, we happening then they’ll can just build a wall just go away around them

Jonathan Masters has much Monathan Jasters is finding the better things to talk about than tears of the liberals a pleasant what happened last Friday addition to his week V S bviously about it though. I mean what else hose who want to live, they have abortions they need to something happened this week? Well there let them fight, and those get to? With that said, however, happened last were all those Women’s Marches who do not want to I did attend the protest. Not to week on Friday, around the world for no particular fight in this world of actually protest, but with binocu- but of course if reason. Even though I am not a eternal struggle do not lars from a rooftop bar so that I something bad woman, I decided to make myself deserve to live.” I can’t could see the proletariat weep as Ohappens, the best thing to do is just the centre of attention at this Tremember what great leader is they realised that it would not be ignore it and hope that it resolves parade and lead chants and tweet responsible for that quote, but it another four years of hand-outs. itself. I take the same approach angrily when people made body is a quote that I have held in my There is nothing sweeter than the to medicine – instead of putting shaming signs about Trump’s tiny heart for the whole of this week. I tears of butt-hurt liberals – if they unnatural additives onto my body, penis and hands. Fuck I mentioned am not a homosexual, but I am not could find a way to milk them for I just hope that lotus flower extract it. Trump. OK FINE. DEATH TO ashamed to say that I shed a few their essence and bottle it, I would rubbed onto my genitals will THE WEST. COMMUNISM MUST tears when that orange saviour buy a gallon every day. arrange the tai chi of the infection RISE AGAIN. THE HAMMER AND placed his tiny hands on the bible I can’t wait for this wall either. and leave my penis un-rotting. It SICKLE WILL SLIT THE ORANGE and the liberals started to weep. Finally being able to stop the may take a few more flowers, but I THROAT OF THE WOMAN-OP- There were no alternative facts in Mexicans from entering the rear of think that little Jon is getting there. PRESSOR. I watched the entire sight on that most magnificent of America is the first step to making Anyway as I was saying, abso- inauguration in some sort of days: the gays, the abortionists, it great, but why stop there? We lutely nothing happened last week, state of self-harm whilst sobbing the vagina-havers, the Latinos, should be building walls around specifically at 5pm Greenwich violently into my favourite block and the Blacks will finally suffer everything – if you build a wall Mean Time. In other news they of tofu. I later masturbated at the their due. Too long have they around abortion clinics, whores announced the Oscar nominations photoshopped picture I made of experienced the leniency of will no longer be able to have a – unfortunately my own black and Hillary spending her first day in Barack HUSSEIN Obama and get out of jail free card. Build a white film which is three hours of the White House, spending millions his administration. FInally we will wall around Mosques and then no a camera zooming into my own on Native American heritage, and feel the fist of power. A strong, terrorism related incidents will ever asshole didn’t get nominated. Not renewable energy programmes. It powerful fist will penetrate right happen again. Build walls around even for best hair and makeup was the saddest but the best thing into the hole that the democrats Hillary and she can finally be in a motion picture. I mean mon- that happened to me last week. have left, reaching around to try imprisoned for being technologi- keys can get that award. I liked and grab at the stragglers that cally incompetent. WALLS WALLS Los Angeles Los Angeles Land, have previously been inside this WALLS WALLS. especially the joke about George hole. Trump is that fist. Michael’s passing, but I can’t help Of course whenever someone but feel that maybe there should that the liberal contingent dislikes have been more than one black is democratically elected, it means person in a film about jazz. Also that they will line the streets and there should have been more use play some African drums, eat of the sitar – If they plan on doing some kelp bullshit, and cry. No a sequel, I just want to shout out to one on the right did anything Ryan that I’m in perpetual state of like this when Barack HUSSEIN unemployment/writing my novel Obama was re-elected. Sure we and would happily appear on the made a few signs where Obama * SponsoredGrupo by film for a fee. was an African witch doctor, and Of course you all know what were convinced that he was born Cementos de event didn’t actually happen. in Kenya, but we did it in small Chihuahua Something happened in America. groups. I don’t get why the women Just between Maryland and Vir- and the minorities feel like they ginia. I don’t think we need to talk have to disrupt to such scale. Don’t Thursday 26 January 2017 felixonline.co.uk/millennials 29 MILLENNIALS felix

CRISIS Dear Kat

Can I call you cat? Personally I’m not a mas- vanilla. Like a friend once gave me edible Dear Chris, Chris sive Trump fan. It’s not about the looks, let’s be underwear and… well hm.. Actually I don’t honest under the right lighting you couldn’t tell think I ever spoke to Tom again after that. I need advice. I’m having second thoughts about my deci- him and Hillary apart. See? sion of voting Donald Trump for US President. I was totally behind him. Like sure, he’s not exactly charismatic or attrac- It’s about policy. And I just can’t get behind So to summarise; Though your decision to vote tive. He doesn’t have good skin, or great hair. And I wouldn’t this executive order rage. Like ok, maybe Trump is indeed deplorable, the fact that him call his eyes kind. I mean I can’t actually see them through all don’t wait seven years until you stop caring making some prostitutes pee on a bed is those flaps of eye-bag skin. But the way he says SAD always and start signing executive orders (you know making you rethink that decision is even worse! gets me. who you are *cough* OBAMA *cough* – But I digress. I’m second guessing my vote because I got wow coughing is a lot less discreet when it’s in So grow a backbone and if you’re gonna upset after his waterboarding comments. I mean I have writing), but you’re a democratically elected make bad decisions, at least stick with them to draw the line somewhere and torture is kind of a deal official not Kim Jong Un. until the bitter end. There’s nothing worse than breaker for me. I don’t know. I’m really conflicted. the lack of conviction (other than the lack of What do you think? Anyway as I was saying. I care about policy. condoms when you really need one). Not whatever it is he likes to do in bed. I mean Yours, sure, waterboarding is not exactly my cup of Kathrin Kim Karchner tea. I mean ew. I can barely handle my own Big luv, wee let alone someone else’s. Truth is I’m really Chris xxxx

HOROSCOPES VIRGO ARIES TAURUS LEO CANCER GEMINI

This week you’re This week you’re This week you attend This week you’re locked This week you’re This week you Usain Bolt and lose beginning to plan for your the Union Bar’s 60th in your department Piers Morgan, and figure out a loophole one of your gold Union election campaign, birthday celebrations. overnight. Tired, hungry you’re a tool. Except in education. The medals as your taking influences from the First event with floor and confused you stumble that’s unfair on tools trick to passing your teammate tests positive successful political leaders coverings. Biggest into the PhD staffroom as they’re useful and exams isn’t to learn for drugs. And you of the recent past. You try ever. Period. And to find them all sleeping advanced human the material but rather thought group project the Nigel Farage method, pictures showing upside down from the progress in the Stone your own, alternative, work at Imperial was drinking heavily and anything else are ceiling like vampires. Age. The era where facts. Genius. frustrating... spreading hate. Instant doctored. You’re one of them now. Piers’s views are from. success. SAGITTARIUS LIBRA SCORPIO AQUARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES

This week you watch This week you attend This week you’re This week you’re This week you’re This week you’re Trainspotting 2. You the super secretive, Shia Labeouf and his Barack Obama. Mexico and end up SportImperial. Will thought the sequel super shady event new art installation. After eight years paying for something you ever catch a would finally live up on campus. Media Probably the cringiest of putting up with that you’ll never use break? Maybe next to its name but the blackouts. Heightened thing to happen on a everyone else’s shit, and in the grand year everyone will only Flying Scotsman security. Police dogs. webcam since, well… you’re finally free of scheme of things is finally forget about you saw was Ewan DocSoc bar night we don’t talk about the White House. You worthless. Cheer up, at that pesky sexism McGregor. must’ve really got out that anymore. spend all week just in least you’re not paying scandal. of hand. your pants. £9000 a year at UCL. our Union eents rida anuar

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andori nationals their thighs. The fight starts trying to wiggle out of your managed to hold the other to throw each other to the are coming up, when the referee says the hold. It can also end if one for 20 seconds or made them ground, ideally making both and Imperial word ‘hajime’ (Japanese of the participants taps out tap out, the winner is decided their adversary’s shoulders Jiu Jitsu has to for ‘begin’) and ends when (because they were in a joint based on their pro-activity (the famous ‘ippon’) touch the be prepared! one of the opponents pins lock or feel they can’t escape and control. The referee must ground, or at least one, with This weekend control from the tori (the one Ran Imperial versus Queen throwing) over the uke (the Mary friendly, regional one on the receiving end), to ground-fighting competition declare a win. The referee took place as practice for judges if the throw was clean both clubs before nationals. or if the round needs to be Groundwork is a lot of fun, reset. Here rounds were but very tiring when you’re also of roughly two to three the one stuck in a hold. It minutes, and as before the is very much like trying to winner is chosen based on escape a really, REALLY tight their initiative and control if hug. Here, most competitors neither manage to throw the agreed not to use any chokes other. or strangles; let’s all play nice As rounds are very short, and friendly. genders and grades were The session started with a mixed during the compe- warm up led by QM instruc- tition so all could enjoy as tor Alex Macaulay, involving many fights as they wanted the usual running around: and fight with everyone. push ups, sit ups, squats and The participants were still burpees, but also climbing roughly separated by height/ over and around each other, weight class, as it is still a because why not? Forget all very important parameter in notions of personal space groundwork: there’s not much once you start any kind of you can do if somebody twice groundwork, the more up your size is sitting on your close and personal you get, chest…maybe tickle them? Hit the better. In fact, to keep them in the- wait no, that’s not your opponent pinned to the a legal move. ground you have to put them To finish on a nice and in a hold they cannot escape, friendly note after all that usually by putting all your rolling around on the tatami weight on top of them (gets mats, Imperial Jiu Jitsu organ- a bit more difficult to breath ised a great (and cheap) if you do that on their chest), social in a fancy Korean or applying some kind of restaurant in Soho. Eating as joint lock. As you go up the much Korean barbecue as grades you can learn more you want, mostly paid for by techniques, holds, and locks the club. What more could such as the ones Imperial Jiu you ask for? Jitsu affectionately nicknamed Imperial Jiu Jitsu is going to ‘69’ (officially ‘yoko shiho have more friendly regional gatame’) or ‘the mount’ competitions with other (officially ‘tate shiho gatame’, London universities before the another mouthful) because, big Randori Nationals at the well…it becomes evident end of February in Northamp- when you see them. ton, so watch this space! Jiu In this type of competi- Jitsu is an amazing discipline tion, fights can start from a open to all in which you can sitting position or a standing progress really quickly if you position (officially for green set yourself to train regularly, belts and above). If starting their adversary’s back to the a hold) or if time runs out. The say ‘yame’ (‘stop’) to officially and you’re constantly sup- from a sitting position, the ground for 20 seconds, which rounds here were two minutes cease any fight. ported by your peers and two opponents are initially is an awfully long time when per fight, plus one extra If starting from a standing instructors who want to help back to back, legs straight, the person underneath you minute if there is no defined position then the opponents you learn and get the best out feet together, and hands on is thrashing like crazy and winner. If neither opponents are face to face and try of every training session. Sam Smith 32 felixonline.co.uk/puzzles [email protected] Friday 27 January 2017

elix PUZZLES f       FUCWIT Leaderboard 
 The Czechmates 227 
Anonymous 226   NSNO 220 Willie Rush 220    S c h r ö d i n g e r s C a t S t r i k e s B a c k 2 0 7     Sneezing Pandas 161 Guinea Pigs 119   Les Nuls 117     CEP MSC 105   The Gravitons 97  TIA 95  
   Grilled Cheese Inc. 68 Yellow Fever 65
   Puzzled 62 Kenny Wangler, Cunnyfangler 53     Chemical Brethren 46 The Ultimate Fucwit 38   
Big Mahmoud 36   The Anti-Gravity Acorns 36 THE Crystallographer 29 The Couple on the Train 26 Grand Day in Cullercoats 25 Across Down RollEEEr 25 1. Disclosed (8) 2. Green gem (7) Lube Lords 23 6. Favourite (3) 3. Consume (3)  
Banananana 20 9. Bed covering (5) 4. Servile follower (6)    The Mystical Spankyman 20 10. Slaughter (7) 5. Bargain-priced (4,5)     Beasts 18 11. Enquire into (7) 6. Tartan cloth (5)    Les Baguettes 18 13. Scrounge (5) 7. Subject, topic (5)     Civeng Eating 15 14. Avoided (6) 8. Go up (6)      Poulet 15 15. Liquid fuel (6) 12. Repeating (9)       Hillary Killed Harambe 14 19. Brown pigment (5) 16. Lie back (7) Computer Magic 12   
21. Imitator (7) 17. Missive (6) Pseudo-coup 12 22. Company operating 18. Receive willingly (6) Shusie-Q 12 flights (7) 19. Trap (5) Forced checkmate in 2 moves (left) and 3 moves G. Hackman 10 23. Tick off (5) 20. Money bag (5) (right). White to move first in both problems. Salmon ft. Kanye 9 24. Before (3) 23. Snooker-player’s stick (3) Tessa and Simran 9 25. Collected (8) Pollux 7 Dairylea Dunkers 6  










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      TP-LINK_M5_B057AD 4
 Fanny Schmeller 2       Points Available 21   Crossword 6   Sudoku 3  Chess 6  Nonogram 6  




 
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        Nonogram. The numbers show, in order, the length of Send in your solutions to [email protected] before    blocks to be filled along that row/column. Each block must midday Wednesday to get your score added to our be separated by at least one empty cell. leaderboard. Make sure you include the name/team name that you’d like us to use!