Treading Trails and Telling Tales of Lesbian Mothering
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DESIRE LINES: TREADING TRAILS AND TELLING TALES OF LESBIAN MOTHERING A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements For the Degree of Master of Arts in Women’s and Gender Studies University of Regina By Elizabeth Bailey Regina, Saskatchewan March, 2016 ©2016: E. Bailey UNIVERSITY OF REGINA FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH SUPERVISORY AND EXAMINING COMMITTEE Elizabeth Bailey, candidate for the degree of Master of Arts in Women’s and Gender Studies, has presented a thesis titled, Desire Lines: Treading Trails and Telling Tales of Lesbian Mothering, in an oral examination held on March 15, 2016. The following committee members have found the thesis acceptable in form and content, and that the candidate demonstrated satisfactory knowledge of the subject material. External Examiner: *Dr. May Friedman, Ryerson University Supervisor: Dr. Darlene Juschka, Department of Women’s and Gender Studies Committee Member: Dr. James McNinch, Faculty of Education Committee Member: Dr. Charity Marsh, Media, Art and Performance Chair of Defense: Dr. Leesa Streifler, Department of Visual Arts *Via SKYPE ABSTRACT This study highlights the ways in which the marginalization of lesbian families in Canada and the United States is perpetuated by heterobias and exacerbated by the legislation that continues to exclude non-hetero families. As demonstrated in this study, however, this marginalization is actively being countered as lesbian mothers disrupt the hegemonic notions of motherhood and family by seeking to make their voices heard and stories known in the public sphere. The focus on lesbian parented families in this thesis is important and timely in its engagement of the social debate that continues to surround the queer community as a whole. Data was collected online by accessing five publicly posted blogs authored by self-described lesbian mothers, with narrative inquiry and grounded theory used as methodological approaches. Reading the blogs with a queer feminist critical lens and using an intersectional framework studying the dynamics of queer(/)mother identities as they have been presented within the blogs, the primary questions I ask in this study are: how do lesbian women go about creating and maintaining personal and family identity despite the prevalence of heterobiased and homophobic attitudes that comprise their social context?; and, what stories are being told about their experiences in an online, blogged setting? The question of how opportunities for community building are introduced by sharing these stories online also emerged as I conducted this study. In considering the dearth of research that includes the voices of lesbian mothers as expressed through blogs (Hunter 2015), this study is important in its ability to capture, document and analyze existing and emerging counter-narratives. i As a central theme, I offer the notion of blogging as activism, both in terms of the act of storytelling, and also where bloggers have challenged the hegemonic notions of lesbian/mother/family in the context of every day interactions with others. The rationale for blogging as described within the data fell under the themes of information sharing, support seeking and community building. In examining the blogs, themes emerged that described the experience of trying to conceive outside of a heteronormative context; the difficulties of living in a heterobiased culture; and strategies for resistance. Despite the fundamental challenges described in the blogs with regard to living and parenting on the margins of the dominant culture, this study demonstrates blogging as a form of rebellion in disrupting the silence/silencing of queer lives though the public offering of counter- narratives. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This thesis represents the completion of several years of part-time study while also acting as a full-time partner, mother and employee. I could not have completed this work without a number of important people around me, especially my partner who supported me throughout. I wish to thank my supervisor, Dr. Darlene Juschka, for her significant guidance, feedback, and commitment to helping me succeed. I also wish to acknowledge my committee members, Dr. Charity Marsh and Dr. James McNinch, for their comments and suggestions on this thesis and through my studies in general. I also wish to thank Dr. Marsh for having hired me as a research assistant while I took an education leave in order to research and write the bulk of this thesis. I would have not been able to take a leave without this additional financial support; and in the meantime, I was exposed to areas of research that broadened the scope of my interests and further developed my research skills. I would also like to thank the University of Regina for its support of employees who are undertaking scholarly work; the Faculty of Graduate Studies & Research for their generous financial support through scholarly awards while I was on education leave; and my home department of Human Resources for continuously supporting and accommodating me in my drive to complete this degree. I also wish to thank my parents, who recognized early on the storyteller in me, and did their best to nurture that gift. They instilled in me the importance of post- secondary education, which set me along this path, and they also strongly emphasized the importance of completing what you have started. iii DEDICATION This work is dedicated to my family: To my children, Maddox and Jude, who help me to see the world in a new way every time they ask me to explain it to them. To my partner, Joce, who is the vital link here. Simply put, I could not have done this without you, my love. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract ............................................................................................................................................ i Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................................ iii Dedication ...................................................................................................................................... iv Table of Contents .............................................................................................................................v CHAPTER ONE: Introduction ...................................................................................................1 CHAPTER TWO: Problematizing the Family Form ..............................................................13 CHAPTER THREE: Literature Review ..................................................................................25 Biology & Reproduction ....................................................................................................26 Feelings of Invisibility/Dislocation....................................................................................34 The Lesbian/Mother Paradox .............................................................................................37 Assimilation .......................................................................................................................43 Research Bias .....................................................................................................................46 CHAPTER FOUR: Methodology .............................................................................................52 Criteria ...............................................................................................................................55 Framework .........................................................................................................................57 Methodological Approach .................................................................................................60 CHAPTER Five: The Blogs ......................................................................................................65 Why Blog? .........................................................................................................................68 General Overview of Blogs ...............................................................................................72 Blog One: “Gay Girls Make Great Moms” (GGMGM) ....................................................74 Blog Two: “Beginning From the Start” (BFTS) ................................................................77 Blog Three: “Injection Reflections” (IR) ...........................................................................78 Blog Four: “The Mamas Rapscallion” (MR) .....................................................................80 Blog Five: “The Chronicles of a Non-Belly Mama” (CNMB) ..........................................81 CHAPTER Six: Research Findings ..........................................................................................85 Theme One: Trying to Conceive (TTC) ............................................................................86 Theme Two: Accept vs. Reflect.......................................................................................106 Theme Three: Lived Experience of Heterobias ...............................................................115 Theme Four: Anticipation, Worry ...................................................................................122 Theme Five: Everyday Acts of Activism.........................................................................127 CHAPTER Seven: Discussion .................................................................................................131