By a Clinical Case Study Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of 2011
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CONNECTED AND SEPARATE: A DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF VIEW OF FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP HEALING by GLENN FRANCIS A clinical case study submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY IN CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2011 CONNECTED AND SEPARATE: A DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF VIEW OF FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP HEALING by GLENN FRANCIS A clinical case study submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY IN CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2011 This clinical case study has been accepted for the faculty of Meridian University by: _______________________________________ C. Shoshana Fershtman, J.D., Ph.D. Clinical Case Study Advisor _______________________________________ Melissa Schwartz, Ph.D. Academic Dean iii ABSTRACT CONNECTED AND SEPARATE: A DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF VIEW OF FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP HEALING by Glenn Francis This study reflects the journey of a coaching client who found more equilibrium between her autonomous and relational aspects. “Differentiation of self” reflects this balance of our social and solitary nature, and our capacity to be both feeling and thoughtful beings. Healing wounds of narcissism with her mother and of emotional absence with her father improved her relationships and opened new possibilities in work and intimacy. Biological Perspectives reveal neurobiological findings paralleling self- differentiation, and narcissistic and emotionally-remote parenting. Cognitive/Behavioral Perspectives suggest changing thoughts and beliefs to relieve suffering. A Psychodynamic lens explores relationship with self and other, illuminating individuation, attachment, and adverse parenting in connection with healthy and unhealthy development. Views from Sociocultural, Coaching, and inner inquiry vantage points affirm possibilities beyond the normative. Imaginal approaches turn toward the passionate nature of the soul, asking for inclusivity, inviting transformation, and engaging depth reflection about the healing of obstacles to healthy development iv The year’s coaching journey included events such as the death of the client’s father and the loss of her job. Concurrently she discovered inherent qualities such as being able to disidentify from experience, access affective and somatic truthfulness in herself, and endorse her psychological multiplicity. These, together with healing recognition of the negative impact on her of parental narcissism and emotional absence opened more possibilities of an expanded life. In unfolding the coaching, learnings emphasize the practical power of aspects of an imaginal approach – particularly disidentification, and inhabiting somatic and affective experience – to bring about change. A discussion of the healing value of trustworthy facilitative relationship leads into an exploration of the depth psychological structures of both client and facilitator, and their constellation. Reflecting on the significance of these learnings reveals transformation in the client, as well as in the work of the coach and writer of this study. The theme of “love heals” reflects the threading together of the psychological and the religious that is essential to Imaginal Psychology. Bringing heartful kindness as well as psychological depth to the situations addressed by self-differentiation illuminates the client’s substantial healing, and the transformative growth of others accompanying her. v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I feel grateful to the following people: The presence of Premsiri Lewin in my life made this case study possible, as well as fostering the larger, living process of which it is a part. My gratitude to her has the quality for me of being completely here and now, and from beyond time and space. Ritu Esbjorn has been a steady compass of love, wisdom, grounded counsel, and friendship over several decades now, and endlessly encouraged me. Richard Shapiro’s support has been invaluable, in ways both personal and professional. David Maxwell’s companionship on a journey parallel to my own has been inspiring, and a reminder of verities easily forgotten. The care, guidance, encouragement, and clear reflection of David Mars has been crucially important to the completion of this project. My colleagues Mary McBride, Gary Buck, Diane Harnish, and Rachel Gardner have each in their own way waved a faraway lantern from miles further along the tunnel to remind me that they could see the exit, the ultimate eventuation. Geneen Roth's trust in my capacity to support and nurture retreat participants opened a door, and a possibility I will always be grateful for. vi CONTENTS ABSTRACT ...................................................................................................................... iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS .................................................................................................. v Chapter 1. INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................. 1 Coaching and Clinical Topic Personal Exploration of the Subject/Topic Choice Framework of Coaching Confidentiality and Ethical Concerns Client History and Life Circumstances during Coaching Progression of the Coaching Learnings Personal and Professional Challenges 2. LITERATURE REVIEW ........................................................................................... 20 Introduction and Overview Biological Perspectives on Differentiation of Self Cognitive/Behavioral Perspectives on Differentiation of Self Psychodynamic Perspectives on Differentiation of Self Sociocultural Perspectives on Differentiation of Self Coaching Perspectives on Differentiation of Self Imaginal Approaches to Differentiation of Self Conclusion 3. PROGRESSION OF THE COACHING ..................................................................... 67 The Beginning vii Planning the Coaching The Coaching Journey Legal and Ethical Issues Outcomes 4. LEARNINGS ............................................................................................................ 101 Introduction Key Concepts and Major Principles What Happened Imaginal Structures Primary Myth Personal and Professional Development Applying an Imaginal Approach to Coaching 5. REFLECTIONS ........................................................................................................ 136 Introduction Personal Development and Transformation Impact of the Learnings on My Understanding of the Topic Mythic Implications of the Learnings Significance of the Learnings The Application of Imaginal Psychology to Coaching and Psychotherapy Bridging Imaginal Psychology Areas for Future Research Appendix 1. INFORMED CONSENT FORM .......................................................................... 149 NOTES ....................................................................................................................................... 151 REFERENCES .......................................................................................................................... 194 1 CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION Coaching and Clinical Topic The topic of this coaching case study is differentiation of self.1 Emerging from within Murray Bowen’s family systems theory this term encompasses the level of development of our intimately-linked capacities for both individuality and for intimacy. Included in the meaning of the term is the possibility of being able to balance cerebral and emotional functioning within oneself and within any system of relationships. Differentiation of self may be considered under the larger umbrella concept of individuation. Introduced into psychology by Carl Jung this term denotes “the process by which a person becomes a psychological ‘individual’, that is, a separate, indivisible unity or ‘whole’.” 2 Although Jung’s later remarks about individuation imply a wider meaning of the term, the sense of a crystallized and separate individual predominates.3 This flavor is different than that offered by self-differentiation, which equally emphasizes togetherness as well as individuality.4 Nevertheless, the term individuation continues to be used in the coaching and psychological literature and appears in this case study.5 Critics of the concept of individuation remark on its failure to honor context and the reality that we are inherently social beings.6 By contrast, systems thinking, the interwoven backdrop of Bowen’s theory and widespread in coaching includes this context.7 Bowen proposed that families function like systems, with principles of operation rooted in nature.8 The concept of differentiation of self (subsequently here 2 simply differentiation or self-differentiation) with its acknowledgment of the interdependency of individuality and intimacy partakes of these qualities of systemic naturalness.9 One of Bowen’s major principles, that of personal responsibility stands out for its embodiment of a sense of context as well as echoing tenets of indigenous spirituality and resonating with remarks of Jung. Bowen assumed that he himself was intrinsic to any family difficulty and the disharmony could be corrected by him modifying his part in creating the problem.10 Elsewhere Bowen poignantly questions how to become different – to change as an individual – without “being against” one’s family, in other words without sacrificing relationships for the sake of maintaining individuality.11 This reference to the possibility of emotional distancing finds expression in Bowen theory as the concept of cutoff. This describes how people remove themselves physically