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Inside NFL Marriages University of South Florida Scholar Commons Graduate Theses and Dissertations Graduate School January 2012 Inside NFL Marriages: A seven year ethnographic study of love and marriage in professional football Rachel Anne Binns Terrill University of South Florida, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: http://scholarcommons.usf.edu/etd Part of the American Studies Commons, Communication Commons, and the Sociology Commons Scholar Commons Citation Binns Terrill, Rachel Anne, "Inside NFL Marriages: A seven year ethnographic study of love and marriage in professional football" (2012). Graduate Theses and Dissertations. http://scholarcommons.usf.edu/etd/3978 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School at Scholar Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Scholar Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Inside NFL Marriages: A seven year ethnographic study of love and marriage in professional football by Rachel A. Binns-Terrill A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Department of Communication College of Arts and Sciences University of South Florida Major Professor: Arthur P. Bochner, Ph.D. Carolyn Ellis, Ph.D. Frederick Steier, Ph.D. Robert Benford, Ph.D. Date of Approval: December 12, 2011 Keywords: Close Relationships, Ethnography, Sports, Identity, Autoethnography, Narrative Inquiry, Interpersonal Communication, Family Communication Copyright © 2012 Rachel A. Binns-Terrill Dedication For Art Bochner, for believing in me from the very beginning and working with me until the very end. Your mentorship, insights, and work helped shape the way that I understand my experiences, myself, and my future. Learning from you was a gift. Teaching with you helped me to envision the teacher that I want to be. Thank you. For the NFL wives who were there before me, those who walked beside me, and those who are yet to come....especially for Melissa, Sarah, Julie, Joy, Katherine, Mary, Danielle, Ashley, Zoe, Deanna, Janna, Lindsey, Rachael, Atoyta, Yadi, Senetra, Jessica, Liz, Nicole, Fritzie, Kristen, Amy, and Sara. For Journey and Jocelyn. You bring sunshine to every part of my life. I hope this is the beginning of my life’s work for which both of you are proud of your Mommy someday. For my parents: Mom, my Rock, for being my very first editor and for never doubting my abilities. You always made it safe for me to explore my dreams. Pops, for being my biggest fan and for making me believe that I was a writer from a very early age. I am your biggest fan too. And for Craig. You are the love of my life and my best friend. You were never what I thought an NFL player might be, but you were the best NFL player I ever watched play. Thank you for believing in my dream as I believed in yours. Your job, hard work, and passion for the game of football made this research possible. Thank you for managing our home and our family during the long hours I spent on this project. Your name should be beside mine in the authorship of this paper. Your insights, ideas, and long nights of reading the words aloud made this dissertation possible. I love you. Acknowledgments I would like to acknowledge: Dr. Frederick Steier, for your constant support and for encouraging me to see things in new ways, Dr. Carolyn Ellis, for inspiring the autoethnographer within me, and Dr. Robert Benford for stepping in and supporting this project. Also, the other professors at USF who helped to inspire me and who showed me who and how I aspire to become. My graduate school buddies: Your smiles brightened my days. Keysha Williams, for your friendship, NFL insight, and passion for this project. Niles, your scrupulous editing helped keep me sane when I could no longer see the words that I had written. I am so glad that you came into Carla’s life. My undergraduate professors: John Sherry, who encouraged me to go on to graduate school and to live in love with Craig; Bill Rawlins, whose work inspired me to inquire about graduate school and who pointed me in the direction of Art Bochner; and Brant Burleson, whose many conversations about this project helped me to remember that this project “is important and deeply interesting and should not be ‘captured’ by overly academic concerns.” Table of Contents List of Figures iii Abstract iv Part I: Chapter One: What’s the Story About? 1 Chapter Two: Interviewing Anne 6 Chapter Three: A Review of the Sports Literature 29 Chapter Four: Methods 83 Autoethnography and Ethnography 84 Getting My Foot in the Door 86 Focus Groups 90 Friendship as Method 91 Research Participants 100 Analyzing and Representing the Data 101 Part II: The Stories of NFL Wives 107 Chapter Five: Joy 110 Chapter Six: Sarah 136 Chapter Seven: Beth 174 Chapter Eight: Rachel 196 Chapter Nine: Analyzing the Stories 240 Part III: Socialization Practices 251 Chapter Ten: The Social World of NFL Wives 252 Entering the System 253 NFL Wives’ Group: What Does it Look Like? 255 i Who is Invited? 256 Visibility in the NFL 259 NFL Wife as Career 263 Censored Speech 264 No One Else Could Understand 265 Children 267 Finding My Place 269 Learning to Stay Out of the Way 272 Fusion 274 The Pitfalls of Protection 277 Money 280 Turning Violent 286 Racial Separation or Segregation? 294 Search for Meaning 297 Infidelity in the NFL 308 Chapter Eleven: The Trajectory of NFL Wives 316 Single Season Storyline 318 Career Storyline 322 Seeing Them Seeing Us 330 Looking Back 340 Seeing Others See Themselves 344 Directions for Future Research 345 References 347 Appendices 360 Appendix 1: Seahawks Wives Questionnaire 361 Appendix 2: NFL Wives Questionnaire 363 ii List of Figures Figure 1a: Caucasian women on couch 295 Figure 1b: African American women on couch 295 Figure 2: Player praises God after touchdown 302 iii Inside NFL Marriages: A Woman’s View Rachel A. Binns Terrill ABSTRACT When women marry NFL players and subsequently become NFL wives, they are thrust out of the lives they have known and into a form of secondary socialization among other NFL wives. In this project, I use autoethnography and narrative inquiry, the first- person narratives of four NFL wives, interactive interviews with dozens of NFL wives, friendship as method, and my personal experience to describe the social interactions between NFL wives, the themes that emerged from the chapters, and the trajectory of an NFL wife’s identity formation and transformation during her time in the league. I also use autoethnography and writing as a method of inquiry to explore my own story before I was an NFL wife, while I was an NFL wife and after I was no longer an NFL wife, to uncover the processes of change in my own identity as I navigated both graduate school and the NFL. iv Part I Chapter One: What’s the Story About? A little over seven years ago, I sat in a small conference room at The University of South Florida as a first year graduate student in love with a football player, wondering what it might be like to be an NFL wife. Tonight, sitting in my office, moving ever closer toward graduation, now a former NFL wife, I wonder “Is there an important difference between a good life and a happy life or are these one and the same” (Bochner, 2012, p. 7)? I write in attempt make sense of the life I lived, the moments of happiness that I experienced and my life within the NFL that seemed “good” while it lasted (Freeman, 2009). ... Let me explain from the beginning: In 2003, I entered a PhD program at The University of South Florida with definite goals and ambitions in mind. Inspired by my undergraduate studies and professors, I wanted to study love and decency in close relationships. The communication department at USF was a perfect fit. I was excited by the program and my advisors and couldn’t wait to become a researcher and a professor. As a wide-eyed first year graduate student, I had no idea just how many miles away from the walls of academia the next seven years would take me. 1 Less than a year into the program, I reconnected with Craig Terrill, whom I had met a few years earlier when we were undergraduates at Purdue University. Upon reconnecting, we fell in love and started dating. A few months later, he was drafted into the NFL by the Seattle Seahawks. Unlike the young girls I knew who grew up wanting to marry football players (including close friends and even one of my cousins), I was scared to death of Craig’s future profession. I had never seen myself as a “girly-girl” or as someone who sacrificed for relationships, as I imagined the girls would who wanted to marry football players. When it became clear that Craig was headed to Seattle, I was forced to make a choice. I could either follow him to Seattle or stay on campus in Tampa. I knew that I didn’t want to abandon my academic dreams, but I was so consumed by Craig and our relationship that I couldn’t imagine living thousands of miles away from him on the opposite side of the country. The fact that long distance ended my two previous relationships further convinced me that if things were going to work with Craig, we would need to be in the same city. After much deliberation1, I followed Craig to Seattle for the fall semester/season with the goal of studying NFL life from a sociological and communication perspective.
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