RECORDS Stephen \X4dsworth Glittering Gould

wenty-five years ago, CBS released odder, wearing coat, scarf, cap, and celebrates 25 years of Gould on disc Ta recording of Bach's Goldberg gloves in summer, never meeting the with four releases that travel from Variations played on the piano by press except by phone, avoiding planes Scarlatti to Scriabin to Gould himself, Glenn Gould, an eccentric young and pollution like the plague, still with the accent on Bach. Canadian. The critics said he'd made a sitting hunched on that ridiculous Pablo Casals wrote in his auto­ mechanical sequence expressive, ab­ chair, which hasn't been replaced or biography, "For the past eighty years 1 sorbing, and wholly interesting, and even altered an eighth of an inch in the have started each day in the same everyone loved it, especially a genera­ last 30 years. manner .... I go to the piano, and I tion of piano students whose daily Recordings were the voices of his play two preludes and fugues of Bach rigors were greatly eased by this vision silence, and they came hard and fast— It is a sort of benediction on the of a somehow passionate Bach. Yet this Byrd, Beethoven, Brahms, Bizet of all house." Gould's newest record. Bach: was certainly the cleanest, least roman­ people (Chopin and Liszt conspicuous­ Preludes, Fughettas and Fugues, is a tic Bach on records. ly absent), Schoenb'erg and Hindemith, benediction on the house. His playing Gould played against the piano in a among others, all subject to the whim, it has a sprightly exactitude just this side sense. Rather than exploiting its tradi­ seemed, of this musical Bobby Fischer. of crispness, the passage work criminal­ tional "pianistic" expressiveness, His technical facility was always aston- ly precise but exuberantly free, the Gould was straining to touch brisk and percussive hear the real Bach through An Historic Record Debut Re-Channeled for Stereo but loving, the tone bright the din of the 19th century, BACH but warm. with its new improved THE GOLDBERG VARIATIONS He handles the instru­ piano sound, its larger- GLENN GOUm ment as if itweren'tapiano; than-life keyboards, its the dry sound and detache larger-than-life virtuosos flow suggest that it's a pounding on them, and its blood descendant of the Chopins and Liszts indulg­ clayier for which these ing in the new capabilities pieces were written. Gould of the instrument. Gould never allows this big mod­ discovered that in order to ern piano to resonate "pi- hear what he was listening for he had to ishing. So was Jiis chutzpah. He who anistically," and his rhythmic artic­ get away from the distractions of the had freely realized the figured bass in an ulation is lively and variegated concert circuit and, to a certain extent, introverted traversal of the Mozart C- —there are little catches in the line of life in the modern world. He retired at minor concerto (over-doing!) was now that grab you—so this ends up a more 32, thereafter performing only in recomposing Wagner in bold transcrip­ authentic performance than many rival recording studios. tions of the operatic orchestra music versions played unoriginally on origin­ He had always been a bit odd, (over-daring!). And if he wasn't in­ al instruments. wearing gloves and crumpled tails venting inner voices to animate the onstage, sitting hunched on a sawed- Siegfried Idyll, he was playing the rtur Schnabel, whom Gould has down, short-legged chair that looked Meistersinger prelude four-hands with .worshiped since childhood, be­ like a relic from a fire, stickingdoggedly himself (over-dubbing!). lieved that unlike Bach's or Mozart's, to his musical guns. Before a perfor­ But in all of his recordings he dares Beethoven's music was nearly all of mance in 1962, Leonard Bernstein, the listener to rehear the familiar, to equal greatness. The three sonatas of speaking to the audience, dissociated strip down preconceptions of how the Opus 2, dedicated to Haydn {Glenn himself and his orchestra from Gould's instrument "should" sound, or how Gould Plays Beethoven Sonatas), may experimental reading of the Brahms D- certain composers "should" sound on be less grand in design than some of minor concerto as an understated, it, and his technique and vision are Beethoven's later big-name sonatas, or nonvirtuoso piece. Left to his own abetted by an innovative approach to even Opus 28, also recorded here, but devices, Gould seemed to become even the recording process. CBS rightly they are unfailingly grand in concept.

94 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG SR December 1980 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED These performances are classically corded life and our listening. It's either free-for-alls to moving documentaries proportioned, but Gould is romantical­ the last straw or the icing on the cake: If on solitude, the North, Casals, Bach, ly aware of the opposites and contrasts Gould bothers you, youll loathe his and other subjects close to him. As pure in this music, and the silences have as humming; ifyou understand him, youll sound these are all tours de force, with much rhythmic absoluteness as the need it. Gould said of Schnabel that he voices mixed and matched and over­ audible sections. seemed not to care very much for the lapped in a musical way that conveys This is especially telling in the piano as an instrument, it was a means the essence of the subject as evocatively exquisite slow movements of Opus 2, to an end for him, "and the end was to as the words the voices are saying. which remind Gould of string quartets. approach Beethoven." Gould does The other record in this set, which Here, his greatest single gift as a exactly that on these records—he includes music by Scarlatti, C.P.E. Bach, Scriabin, and part of Liszt's transcription of Beethoven's Pastoral symphony, features a literally contra­ puntal arrangement of voices in Gould's own So You Want to Write a Fugue?—a delicious piece. There is also a fascinating performance of Richard Strauss's stark Ophelia Lieder with Elisabeth Schwarzkopf, a fresh reading made fresher perhaps by the fact that it was virtually unrehearsed. None of the material on this album has been released previously, though it spans 17 years in the studio. All of the material on the last celebration record. The Little Bach Book, has been available before. It could have documented revealingly the development of Gould's Bach from those Goldbergs in 1955 to the new Preludes, Fughettas and Fugues record. Cuts from both are here. But the recording leaps back and forth over the years, from Dolby to pre-Dolby sound, so the listener gets every different style of Bach, also of Gould, also of recording, in random order. And it all smacks of "Greatest Hitsof...,"which Retired from the distractions of the modem world, Glenn Gould makes pure music. is of course antithetical to the Gould musician is on display—his intuitive approaches Beethoven, as if at home Gestalt. Better to buy the old Goldbergs grasp of the inner pulse in a piece of alone developing themes as he might and the new Bach record to see where music, the unswerving beat within it develop strands of conversation, spon­ Gould has gotten. that propels it through bar lines, cross- taneously, and, of course, talking back The Goldbergs had line and tender­ rhythms, and even idiosyncratic tempi. to them, egging them on with his own ness, but were still a touch soft-edged in Gould's adagios move simply and voice. The musician is making music, that dreaded "pianistic" way. Gould's inexorably and quite in spite of the fact and we are overhearing. obsession is with pure, absolute music that, again, he never lets the piano That voices are music to Gould is (instruments are irrelevant), and his resonate in the least grandly. He could proven on the two-record Glenn Gould growth is toward that ideal. He has be playing a Hammerklavier, though 25th Anniversary Album, one disc of journeyed to the center of the music as his Opus 28, parts of which are for him a which is devoted to a serious conversa­ he has come away from the nucleus of homage to Schnabel, is more round- tion in a humorous vein about Gould's the music world, where trend, tradition, toned and conventionally "pianistic" mannerisms. The speakers are imag­ and habit lead our ears into temptation. than his Opus 2. ined critics, the voices are his, the He's been cultivating solitude, plumb­ Gould's most notorious eccentricity, mixing is splendid. The format and ing its depths, and reaping its unearthly his humming, is very much part of these characters are familiar to Canadian musical rewards. • records and what makes them so fine. radio listeners. Gould has a distin­ Stephen Wadsworth, former managing editor of The close miking he insists on makes his guished record of original broadcasts Opera News, contributes articles to many sung contributions a fact of his re- for the CBC, from these zany critical musical publications here and abroad.

SR December 1980 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG 95 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED Saturday Review 198rDIARY The SATURDAY REVIEW desk diary, an invaluable for the business traveler, an encyclopedic reference aid for people on the go, is now available for 1981. section including world maps, hotels, restaurants, Handsome black library padded covers, and pages airports, and principle attractions of the 30 largest wide enough to include details of all your appoint­ U.S. cities. This section also contains helpful ments, the SATURDAY REVIEW diary is beauti­ information such as the vital statistics of the U.S., fully designed and extremely practical. Keep your state and federal tax rates, social security informa­ days well organized in this quality calendar that you tion, plus a listing of U.S. government agencies and will be certain to look back on during the years to U.S. cabinet members. There are also how-to come. sections on foreign exchange rates, scoring card FEATURES games, and counting calories. The SATURDAY REVIEW diary listings of postage, telegraph, cable, More than just another datebook, the SATURDAY and long-distance telephone rates (including inter­ REVIEW diary features a telephone/address sec­ national dialing codes) will help keep you in-the- tion for ready reference, a weekly expense summary know at home or abroad in the year to come.

ORDER NOW FOR 1981 To: SATURDAY REVIEW DIARY P.O. Box 81, Kensington Station, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11218 SR-12

Please send me copies of the SATURDAY REVIEW Desk Diary at $14.79 eacti. Please add $2.00 per diary for stiipping and tiandling. (New York residents please add sales tax). Enclosed is my ctieck or money order "for $ NAME

ADDRESS

CITY STATE ZIP

Please imprint. .in gold at $1.50 per diary. PRODUCEDNam e2005 or initials—Pleas BY UNZ.ORGe print ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED \UrOGRAPHED COPY, Robert C. Alberts' SECRETARIAL COURSE; increase your earnings Benjamin West: A Biography (17J8-ίίί20). Uoughion by being efficient - train in Britain. Details: Warn­ Vlifflin. 1978. mint condition. 563 pages. 78 illustra- borough College, , , ΟΧΙ 5ED, En­ CLASSIFIED ions. .\ew Yorker review; "A first-rate subject,a first- gland. ate biograph>', a first-rate biographer." $9.50 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS are accepted postpaid. Published at $20, Prompt delivery. ST. CLARE'S HALL, in Oxford, (founded at the discretion of the publisher. Rates for insertions "Bookman," Box 8126, Post Office, Pittsburgh, Pa. 1951). Fully international, non-profit arts college, within a contract year (minimum ad. 10 words): I time. 15217. invites applications from university and college $3.00 per word; 3 times. $2.70 per word, per insertion; sophomores, juniors and seniors. Most arts subjects 6 times, $2.50 per word, per insertion; 12 times. $2.40 THE PLAN OF ST. GALL. We are issuing a limited and international business plus social science offered. per word, per insertion. Box numbers, SR Box num­ edition of 150 signed and numbered sets. 3 volumes, Residence optional. Semester programme, Septem­ bers and telephone numbers count as two words each. leather and buckram binding, gold stamping on spine, ber - December, January - May. Full details from Names of cities and states count as one word each. No pages edged in gilt, slip case, facsimile or original plan. Dean of American students, St. Clare's Hall, 139 charge for zip codes. For advertisers using SR Box $1,000. Order or information from Order Depart­ Banbury Road, Oxford, 0X2 7AL England. numbers, please include an additional $3.00 (domes­ ment. University of California Press, 2223 Fulton Telephone (0865) 52031, Telex OXCENT 837379. tic) or $5.00 (foreign) handling charge for forwarding Street, Berkely 94720. (415)642-6682. service during a contract year. CLASSIFIED DIS­ PLAY: ONE COLUMN WIDE, NO FRACTIONS. ONE INCH = $170. TWO INCH ES= $340. To avoid BOOKS—OUT-OF-PRINT delay in publication, please include your permanent NEW! address, telephone number and sample, brochure or NAME THE BOOK WE'LL GET IT! Free search Learn Creative Writing through cassette supportive literature about the product; service being service. Chicago Book Mart. Box 636B. Chicago advertised. Mention preferred issue date and sug­ Heights, 111. 60411. Est. 1948. editing. Personal one-on-one individual gested heading. Full payment must accompany order coaching, written critiques. Discover not and be received by closing date (6 weeks prior to issue FREE SEARCH SERVICE and every book guaran­ only how to write well but also how to date). Send check or money order, made payable to teed. You name it we find it! International Book- Saturday Review, to Classified Department, Satur­ finders, Inc., Box l-SR, Pacific Palisades, Calif. prepare your manuscript properly for day Review, 150 East 58th Street, New York, N.Y. 90272. editors" acceptance. Send for free details 10155. Replies [υ SR Box numbers should he sent to and information to: the same address. Books, used & rare. FREE search service. SEND WANTS to James Books, Box 521, Brookline, MA ART GALLERIES 02147. PARTNERS IN WRITING, INC. Box 1931 Η Pompany Beach, FL 33064 VASARELY CENTER - 15 tapestries by Vasarely. Open Sunday 11-5; Mon-Fri 10-6. 1015 MadisonAve. BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES NYC 10021 BUMPER STICKER PRINTING DEVICE. Cheap. Simple, Portable. Free details. Bumper, P.O. Box EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES 22791(DF), Tampa, Fla. 33622. Representing Works by: JOBS ON SHIPS! Men-Women. American. Foreign. Avery D Ernst D Malta HOME IMPORl MAIL ORDER Business. Start Worldwide Travel. No experience necessary. Guide & others without capital. Free Report. Mellinger, Dept. C139A $3. Seafax. Dept. W-IO. Box 2049, Port Angeles, Woodland Hills, CaliL 91367. Wash. 98362. YARESGALLERY Scottsdale, AZ. (602)947-.3251 MISEMPLOYED'.' Start a successful used-book EMPLOYMENT!!! U.S.!! Foreign! Skilled, Unskil­ store! Details, SR Box 1009. led. Equal Opportunity. All Fields. Directory, Appli­ cation, Resume Instructions $3.00. National, 940-SR GROUND FLOOR OPPORTUNITY. Enhance Bender Building, Washington, D.C. 20036. Corp., a new multi-level marketing organization, is BOOK NEWS expanding nationwide. Program offers professionals, JOBS OVERSEAS (Including Alaska) Free Details. with management potential, unlimited income Global Employment, Box 808-SR, National City, Abbreviations; opportunities and significant tax advantages. Send CaliL 92050. he Hardcover $6.50 for Marketing Information Packet, or S29.95for pb Paperback Product Sample Kit (includes Info Packet) to; OVERSEAS—ALL OCCUPATIONS! Worldwide qp Quality Paperback Enhance Northwest.615 75th St SE#62C Everett, WA Directory and complete information—$3.00. Oppor­ * Books should be available at retail bookstore, unless 98203. tunities, Box 19107-MT, Washington, DC 20036. otherwise specified. I HAVE MADE A FORTUNE IN MAILORDER OVERSEAS EMPLOYMENT-$20,000-$60,000+. TOWARD THE PRIMITIVE TERROR, by Allen selling information! Let me show you how. FREE Free Report! Employment international. Box 29217- O'Donnel: ABORTION, TELEVISION, POl.l- proof. Mailorder Information Services, 2385 MV, Indianapolis, Indiana 46229. 11CS. New perspective educator. ($7.95. he. Vantage). Roscomare, [5-11,3511, Los Angeles, California 90024. TEACH OVERSEAS: Complete resource manual. HAD WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE MADE THE $6.95. InterEd, Box I9I0I, Portland, Oregon 97219. CONTEMPORARY SCENE AND OTHER SON­ NETS, by Ronn Marvin ($3.00 qp plus 53c postage, CAMPS EARN $50.00 hundred stuffing envelopes. Free OWL BOOKS, Box 621, Thousand Palms, Cal. details. Reply: "Homeworkers—SR". Box 94485, 92276) "Simple, baudy, often clever." Z../1. Times. MUSIC ARTS, SPORTS, NUTRITION; What a Schaumberg, 111.60194. combination! Appel Farm Arts & Music Center, BOOKS Elmer 18, Ν J 083 18 (609)358-2472 TEACHERS, COACHES, Top Maine Camps. Write; 95 Woodchester Drive, Chestnut Hill, MA FREE color catalogue offers scores of hard-to-find BROWN LEDGE, Mallet's Bay, VT. "One of 02167. home library accessories. Antioch Bookplate Com America's finest camps "Finest show horses, mounted pany. Box 28BH, Yellow Springs, Ohio 45387. lance drill, optional jumping, no additional fee for EDUCATORS, PRESSiONALS, PHYSICIANS, daily riding. Sailing, racing tactics, aquaplaning, NURSES needed for children's resident summer GOOD USED BOOKS—WIDE VARIETY. Intel­ theatre arts, tennis, golf, archery, swimming, crafts, camps located Northeast. Associationof Independent ligent selection. Libraries buy regularly; you can too! trips. Tuition isall inclusive. THE COMPLETE AND Camps, 157 W. 57th St. Suite 403S, NY 10019 History, fiction, social sciences, literature, miscellan­ DIFFERENT CAMP DGIRLS 10-18. Give age, (212)382-3540. eous subjects. Send dollar for listing of 20,000 titles & write winter office; Miss Barbara Brown Winslow, 155 prices. Editions, Desk SR, Boiceville, N.Y. I24I2. Dodds Court, Box C, Burlington, VT05401. (Speiia/ TEACHERS, COACHES, Top Maine Camps. JC Courses, girls 16 & 17.) Write: 95 Woodchester Drive, Chestnut Hill, MA FREE BOOK. Prophet Elijah Coming Before Christ. 02167. Megiddo Mission, Dept. 10, 481 Thurston Road, Rochester, N.Y. 14619. EDUCATION EDUCATORS, PROFESSIONALS, PHYSI­ CIANS, NURSES needed t^or children's resident PUBLISHERS'OVERSTOCKS. BARGAIN BOOK OXFORD: Semester - Year Abroad - January Term - summer camps located Northeast. Association of 3,000 titles, all subjects! Free catalogue; Hamilton, 98- Summer Sessions. Details: Warnborough College, Independent Camps, 157 W. 57th St. Suite 403S, NY 60 Clapboard, Danbury, Conn. 06810. Oxford OX I 5ED, England. 10019(212)382-3540.

TOTAL MIND POWER. (How to use the other 90% COLORSLIDES - Art-Educational-Travel. 200,000 FOR EXCHANGE of yourmind). FREE BOOKLET. Total Mind Power High Quality Individual or Sets with cassette. Samples Institute #15, Larkspur, Calif 94939. — Listings S2. Visuals, Box 381215, Μiami, Fla. 33138 EXCHANGE RENT HOMES foreconomicalvaca- tions. Free brochure. HOLIDAY EXCHANGES. MINIATURE BOOKS. Free catalogue. Mosiac THE BEST (AND FASTEST) WAY TO LEARN Box 878S, Belen, N. Mex. 87002. Press Dept. 48. 358 Oliver, Cincinnati, Ohio 45215. FRENCH'.' I) in France. 2) In a small town (90 minutes from Paris) where very few people speak SABBATICAL'.' Rent, exchange homes apartments .lOHN ClARDI fans and word lovers! A BROW­ English. 3) Living with a french family. 4) Taking small SER'S DICTIONARY just off press. Hundreds of intensive classes through an individual, progressive worldwide. Loan-A-Home, SR Box 635. intriguing stories, legends, facts and fallacies about program. Thus getting round the clock exposure to the everyday words and phrases. Send $16.95 + $1.25 language. If interested (and motivated) contact us at FOR RENT postage and handling to; Harper& Row, Dept. 160,10 the French American Study Center. BP 176 Cedex. East 53rd St., New York, N.Y. 10022. 14100 I.isieux, France. OAK PARK—the unique Chicago suburb famous for

SR December 1980 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG 97 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED its Frank Lloyd Wrightarchiteclureand diverse popu­ 1Ό BUY- YOUR AREA- $2 MONEYBACK lation. Free apartment referral agency helps you find FREE CATALOG containing many delightful gifts, GUARANTEE—"GOVERNMENT INFORMA­ the perfect place! Just 12 minutes from Chicago's TRC Enterprises. Dept. SR, 252 Weaver Street, San TION SERVICES." DEPARTMENT P-15. Box Loop by public transportation. Excellent schools, day Antonio, Texas 78210. 99249, SAN FRANCISCO. CALIF. 94109. care, year-round recreation. Ms. Wright, Oak Park Housing Center. 1041 South Blvd., Oak Park, 111. HERMITAGE NEEDLEWORK KITS: Authentic 60302.(312)848-7150. reproduction kits provide you with everything MUSIC necessary to recreate some of the beautifel needlework ITHACA, N.Y. Walk to Cornell campus for lectures, found in Andrew Jackson's home. The Hermitage. SEND $3.98 - Six Bach Brandenburg Concerti - Pro concerts. Fairview Heights...A new environment for Send for catalogue of these and other interesting gifts Musica. Quality guaranteed - Free catalogue - apartment living designed by Marcel Breuer. Write to from Old Hickory's homestead. Write: Souvenir CLASSICAL CASSETTE, Box 506 SR, Saddle Fairview Associates. 100 Fairview Square. Ithaca. Shop, The Hermitage, Route 4, Hermitage, Tenn. River, N.J. 07458. N.Y. 14850. or call Mr. Sullivan. (607) AR 2-3420. 37076. RECORDS-TAPES! Discounts to 73%; all labels; no Furnished house near HEIDELBERG, GERMANY DOCTOR'S SCRUBSUITS!!!Latestpracticalcraze. purchase obligations; newsletter; discount dividend for rent as of Jan. 1, 1981. Tel Mr. Treitz: (714)753- "Diploma" included. $24.00. Brochure 50c. MASH- certificates; 1009c guarantees. Free details. DIS­ 7793 or 574-7200. DUDS,271S, Hampden, Maine 04444. COUNT MUSIC CLUB. 650 Main St.. Dept. 131080. New Rochelle. NY. 10801. WRITERS COLONY. Furnished rooms. Manches- GOURMET INTERESTS ter-by-the-sea. 617-526-7351. CLASSICAL MUSIC LOVERS'EXCHANGE-the START YOUR OWN PERSONAL COOK-BOOK link between unattached musiclovers. Write CMLE. FOR SALE with the first 10 recipes released from Famous Walter Box31.Pelham, NY 10803. Boyd Collection $3.00 SASE. Boyd—9300Cedar# 127 GOVERNMENT LANDS...FROM $7.50 ACRE! B. Minneapolis. Mn. 55420. MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS Homesiles, farming, vacationing, investment oppor­ tunities! "Government Land Buyer's Guide" plus na­ MINNESOTA WILD RICE. $6.00 pound prepaid. RECORDERS—FINEST MAKES. Largest music tionwide listings—$2.00. SURPLUS LANDS. Box Five pound minimum. Eugene Floura. Blackduck. selections. Please enclose one dollar with your request 19107-MV, Washington. D.C. 20036 Minn 56630. for our catalogues. RECORDER CENTER, Amenia. N.Y.12501. MOVING TO CLEVELAND? Suburban living, su­ CREAMY, no crust cheesecake recipe $1.00. perior schools, near universities, attractive Integra-led Roberta. 905 Houseman. La Canada. Ca. 91011. HARPSICHORDS, FORTEPIANOS. CLAVI­ neighborhoods. Shaker Heights Housing. 3380 Lee CHORDS, VIRGINALS. Kits and superb finished Road. Shaker Heights. Ohio 44120. (216) 751-2155. SEVEN SIMPLY SPECIAL DESSERT recipes. instruments. Catalogue free. Zuckermann Send $2plusSASEto ANN'S 877, East Panama Drive. Harpsichords Inc., Box 12I-S. Stonington. Conn. BIG. .. FREE... FALL CATALOGUE! Over 2,7000 Denver, Colorado 80121. 06378. top values coast to coast! UNITED FARM AGEN­ CY. 612-UR West 47th, Kansas City, Mo. 64112. THE POTTED DESSERT. Exotic! 32-Page booklet, SPERRHAKE HARPSICHORDS. CLAVI­ spirit-laced originals; Slivovitz-plum. Nesselrode CHORDS. Robert S. Taylor. 8710 Garfield Street, puddings; tequila Spanish cream; other surprises. Bethesda.Md. 20034. TWELVE—ACRE WOODED HOME-SITE 75 $4.00. Guaranteed. James Wood. Box 1835, Hol­ miles view valleyand mountains. MILLION ACRES lywood, CA'90028. OF SKY. Fifty miles west of Washington. Box 86, NEUPERT HARPSICHORD, CLAVICHORDS. Braddock Heights. Md. 21714. Oldest, finest. Catalogues from MAGNAMUSIC. BEERLOVERS! Save $1.00 every sixpack—Drink Sharon, Conn. 06069. A MILLION MILES FROM NYC. less than two home brew. Free handbook: Duane's Department SRI20C.508Canal, New York 10013. hours from Broadway. Ten room hilltop contempor­ BURJON HARPSICHORDS. Spinets, and ary on ten wooded acres, five miles "up the mountain "GOURMET ON THE GO"- 15 easy delicious Clavichords—Professional instruments in kit and from Kent Village, Connecticut. Unusual split level completed forms. For brochure, write Burton design includes office space, birch panneled living meals for busy woman. $5.00. R.R. 1, Box 569, De- Harpsichords, 4921 N. 57th, Box 80222S, Lincoln, room with view and fireplace, southeast exposure with Land, Fl. 32720. Ncbr. 68501. balcony and deck. $135,000. DeVoe Realty (203)927- 3571. DELICIOUS! DELICATE! Mom's Cheesepie ELDER HARPSICHORDS, CLAVICHORDS, recipe. $1.00SASE. Maya,3408 Ginseng. Bakersfield. VIRGINALS. Custom finished instruments and Ca. 93307. VERMONT - 20 acres, driveway, house site. well. Authorized Agent ZUCKERMANN HARPSI­ Marlboro music, skiing. $27,500. (617) 862-3466. CHORD KITS at factorydirect prices. Chestnut Hill. MOST MARVELOUS MEATLOAF! and so easily KiUingworth, Conn. 06417. HISTORIC, ARTISTS HOME - (5000 Sq. Ft.) In­ prepared, your mother will be proud. $2.00. Box Ε 935 North Elizabeth Station. Elizabeth. N.J. 07208. cludes Auditorium Studio. Gallery. Hardwood DULCIMERS - hammered and mountain styles. Floors Massive Fireplace; Sunny Mountainous. Bis- Gotzmer Stringed Instruments. Rt. 1. Box 709P, HAVE YOU ENJOYED a good cup of coffee or tea Accokeek, Md, 20607. bee Arizona! $74,000 (602) 432-3535. lately: We are purveyors of gourmet coffees and rare teas. Shipped anywhere. Free price list and descriptive YOUR FAMILY COAT-OF-ARMSinfullcolor,8'/ KITS LUTE, viola da gamba,vielle,psaltry, hammer literature. Box S.R., F.P. Garrettson Co.. 230 Main dulcimer. Finished Instruments. 50c for Brochure. X 11" for $10.00. EMERALD RESEARCH ASSO­ St.. Chatham. N.J. 07928. (201)6.35-7264. CIATES. P.O. Box 522. Huntington, New York James Cox, Luthier, 429 Fawcett St., Baltimore. Md. 11743. 21211. WHITE HOUSE RECIPES. 17 authentic recipes of 17 Presidents as served in White House. Examples: YARDLEY. PA. (Bucks County).Townhouse. Three John Kennedy's New England Seafood Casserole. NECKTIE NARROWING story, spiral staircase, hardwood floors. Fireplace, Betty Ford's Strawberry Blitz Tone. Illustrated. 16 family room, living room, ultra modern kitchen. pp. $3. Thomas Guild Selections, box 35655, Dept. E. Patio. Easy Commuting. 2 car garage & much more. WIDE TIES RECUT AND RESHAPED to the new Edina. Minnesota 55435. narrower look. $4.50 per tie -4 tie minimum. Send for $150,000. John T. Henderson Realtors. (215)493- free tie mailer or mail direct. Satisfaction guaranteed. 0300. YOGURT - MAKE YOUR OWN - YOGURT Roblin Tiemaster, Glen Cove, N.Y. 11542. MAKER NOT NEEDED! Easy, save $$. For FOR THE CHILDREN instructions plus recipes send $2.25. Creative Kitchens, PO Box 21115. Mpls.. Minn. 55421. PERSONALS THINKING - the best entertainment for your child. FIVE. Fast. Filling, and can be frozen stews from HANDWRITING ANALYSIS $25.00 by a graduate Free catalog. Resources for the Gifted, Dept. C-24, of the Graphology Workshop. The New School for 3421 N.44thSt., Phoenix, AZ 85018. foreign lands. Printed on cards. Send $2.00 to Bonnie Jerrerson. P.O. Box 26532. Richmond, Va 23261. Social Research, Mary L., Orloff. SR Box 2303. GAMES VENISON, Two Delicious Easy Recipes. $2.00 plus FINE ARTS NETWORK helps cultured singles find SASE R. Stefferud, Rt. 2. Tomah, Wis. 54660. each other. Nationwide music, literature, art lovers. Stamped, self-addressed envelop to Box 4714. Cleve­ 30 COOPERATIVE GAMES. All kinds. All Ages. land. Ohio 44126. Illustrated catalogue 25c. Family Pastimes (SR). SCRUMPTIOUS CHOCOLATE GINGER­ Perth. Ontario. Canada K7H3C6. BREAD COOKIE RECIPE. $1.00. Lin Vogle, Rt. 1, Oregon, III. 61061. OLD LETTERS WANTED: Presidents authors, composers, scientists, military and naval leaders. GIFTS INDIAN RIVER CITRUS from Florida. Tree- Catalogues issued. Doris R. Haris Autographs. 5410 ripened Navel oranges and seedless grapefruit shipped Wilshire, Los Angeles 90036. I7TH CENTURY BRITISH ROYALTY court cards directly to your home. Guaranteed delivery in perfect are illustrated on this on this handsome Bridge set. condition. Must have gift orders by December 10 for LEARN 10 LANGUAGES A YEAR while striding $6.00; Catalog 50c Box 7732J Atlanta. Ga. 30357. Christmas delivery. Write for free catalogue Drift­ for exercise. 200 Language Club, Box 1727, Beverly wood Fruit Co. P.O. Box 297-B, Vero Beach. FL Hills, Calif. 90213. CHESS BOOKPLATES. $3.50. Chess notepaper. 32960 or phone TOLL FREE 800-327-8640. $5.00. Postpaid. Brochure. 25c. GALLERY NINE. MEXICO—RANCH HOTEL - in private valley, 143 Main, Los Altos, CaliL 94022. sunshine, swimming, massage, rest. Room and meals; GOVERNMENT SURPLUS $20-$24. Brochure from APDO 1-1I87S, Guadala­ CUSTOM CROSSWORDS! The absolutely unique jara, Mexico. tailor-made gift—reminiscent, humorous, kind, very S-U-R-P-L-U-S J-E-E-P-S —$19.30— C-A-R-S — special, in its own handsome, personalized folder. $13.50- 650,000 ITEMS!—GOVERNMENT MEDITATION evokes New Age consciousness. First Write; CUSTOM CROSSWORDS. SR Odin House, SURPLUS—MOST COMPREHENSIVE DI­ year bimonthly course free. MEDITATION. P.O. Madison, Minn. 56256. RECTORY AVAILABLE TELLS HOW. WHERE Box 566W, Ojai, CaliL 93023.

98 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG SR December 1980 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED HANDWRITING ANALYSIS IN DEPTH. $15. "BUILD A PRACTICAL DREAMHOUSE©." 116 EXTRAORDINARY SOUTH PACIFIC EXPEDI­ Elisabeth King, 121 Madison Ave., N.Y. I00I6. ideas. Get savings, convenience, saleability. $3.00 TIONS. Write Good Travel Tours, Box 2866, 5332 Techomengineering. SR BOX 2564. College Avenue, Oakland, Calif. 94618. SLEEP LEARNING equipment,tapes, books. Alpha devices. Strange catalogue free. Autosuggestion, Box TRAVELING ABROAD? learn about quality medi­ 24-W, Olympia, Wash. 98507. cal services available worldwide. Comprehensive list­ LEARN CALLIGRAPHY ing $3. MEDITRAVEL, Box 985. New York. New BERTRAND RUSSELL SOCIETY. Information: Share the pleasures of this fine art. Unique York 10025. SR, RDI,Box409, Coopersburg, Pa. 18036. kits include alphabets, instructions from artist, all materials. Scribe's Kit 58.95; JAPAN FOR SOME. July !-I7. Dr. Lincoln, 840 HANG A POET. ΠΙ handprint and frame your Armstrong , Lansing, Ml 48910. favorite poem. Brochure 25tr. SR Box 658. Royal Kit $27.95. Description, sample lettering $1.00. Calligraphic Dept. A, 7420 GOING TO THE BRITISH ISLES? Our experience PENFRIENDS. For free information, write: Papy­ Swan Road, Colorado Springs, Co. 80908. will help you enjoy all of Britain on any budget. rus, 927SR Fifteenth, Washington, D.C. 20005. Individual itineraries planned. Free brochure. Inner- Britain Inc., 3445 Wedgewood, Roanoke, Va 24015. PERFUME CAN FIT PERSONALITY! Chart. Studio House, Box 273, Ocean City, N.J. 08226. PROPERTY AVAILABLE TRAVEL HEALTHY bySheilaand Robert Hillman, M.D. Invaluable information on medical services in FINE WALKING STICKS AND CANES. Free BIG...NEW.. FREE.. SPRING CATALOG! Over 23 countries! 448 pages, paperback. $8.95 postpaid. color brochure. Marchele Co. Dept. SM, 720 Fort 2,800 top values coast to coast! UNITED FARM Wayfarer Books, Box 421-SL, Bountiful, Utah 84010. Washington Ave. New York, N.Y. 10040. AGENCY, 6I2-UR West 47th, Kansas City, Mo. 64112. GET FREE PUBLISHED RECOGNITIONforyour VACATIONS accomplishments, work, skills, talents, handiwork. SERVICES—LITERARY Free details. Achievers International, Box299-SRI0, Tustin, CaliL 92680. EDITING, REVISING, manuscript typing. Marye AN IMPOSSIBLY ROMANTICprivate island para­ Myers, Box 1019, South Pasadena, CaliL 91030. dise, in the Grenadines, with beach, pool, tennis, LET YOUR LOVE FOR houseplants put you in a sailing and snorkeling. Limited to 50guests. Brochure. wide open rapidly expanding business. For "How to WRITING, EDITING, STATISTICS -professional, YOUNGISLAND. 3I5E.72St., N.Y.C. 10021. Start Your Own Plant Maintenance Business" send confidential, describe yourassignment! Research Un­ $5. Ivy, Box I42D, Ivy, Va. 22945. limited, Box 120, Dayton, Washington 99328. (509)- SAN FRANCISCO ON A BUDGET? Charming, 382-2545. centrally located. Hotel Beresford, 635 Sutter Street, WANTED: HUMOROUS LIMERICKS and qua­ San Francisco. 94102. trains pertaining to science teaching or science STUDIES ABROAD subjects. $5.00 each paid for those accepted. Frey 200-YEAR OLD SPANISH RANCH. Unexcelled Scientific Co., 905 Hickory Lane, Mansfield, Ohio UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA EXTENSION - riding, great birding, delightful dining, sunshine, qui­ 44905. et. Open year-round. Ranchodela Osa, Sasabe, Ariz. unique foreign study program Summer 1981. Univer­ 85633. THE SURROGATE Ν AGGER{Part I)-Idealgiftfor sity of Kent, Canterbury-7 courses; Oxford University the harried parent — never repeat yourself again. -26 courses; Birmingham-"Elderly in the Welfare PARADOR Μ ARTORELL, inn, swim, relax by fa­ Casette says it all: before and after school and before State"; Greece-Archeology in Crete and Mycenae or mous Luquillo Beach, Puerto Rico 00673. bed. $5.00 includes mail. Surrogate Nagger Box 8412, Panhelenic Game Sites; Venice - Art & History; South Lake Tahoe, Ca. 95731. - Screenplay Writing. Write: International CASA ANDORRA, CULEBRA ISLAND, PUER­ Dept. K-16, UCextentsion2223 Fuhon, Berkeley.Ca. TO RICO, waterfront, sleeps six. Snorkeling. scuba. JONQUIL CARD COMPANY will designand print 94720. Weekly. Box 526, Bronxville, N.Y. 10708.(914)961- to your specifications: Cards, stationery, wedding 6591. invitations. Box 275, Cazenovia, New York 13055. TRAVEL TAKE ΑΤΗ RIFTTRIP to San Francisco, the Hotel INTERNATIONALLY ORIENTED LADY, perfect CASTLE HOTELS OF EUROPE. 5th Edition Manx, located in the heart of the city. 350 feet from French, German. English, gainfully employed, wishes paper-back (updated supplement): 507 authentic Union Square, offers cable cars at the door. World to meet cultured gentleman of the old school: Box 2565 castles, monasteries, manor houses, palaces; 18 famous shops, fine restaurants and theatres nearby. countries. 478 photos, 17 in color; rates, maps, Reasonable rates. Write for color brochure. Hotel CULTURED SINGLES unite! For information histories; 196 pages. $5.55 postpaid. Robert P. Long. Manx, 225 Powell Street,SanFrancisco,Calif.94102. write: THE ARTS WORLD, Box 661, Staten Island, 634s Bellmore Ave-nue. East Meadow, N.Y. 11554. (415)421-7070 NY I03I4. SAN FRANCISCO'S COMFORTABLE CHEER­ CARIBBEAN VACATION APARTMENT: 2 bed­ RELAXATION BY SELF—CREATION MEDI­ FUL small hotel. Modest rates, kitchenettes, selected rooms. Living/dining, well-equipped kitchen, maid TATION. Cassette instruction; Michael Appleton. pets welcome. Near Union Square; cable cars. Beres- service. Beautifully appointed. 1-week minimum, M.D. with Synclavier music by Jon Appleton. $10.00 ford Arms, 701 Post Street 94109. (415) 673-2600. $35.00/week. Write: The Palms "The Circus", postpaid; Appleton Brothers, Box50, Hanover, N.H. Basseterre, St. Kitts, W. Indies or Call: Mrs. Graves, 03755. THIS AD + $19.00 per person, double occupancy, 203-226-6836. entitles you to real value New York. Next time try FAMILY TREE KIT. Includes everything you need CENTURY-PARAMOUNT HOTEL, 235 West46th PELICAN COVE, Floridi Keys. Oceanside apart­ to trace 11 generations. Step-by-step instruction Street, N.Y.C. 10036, convenient theatres and every­ ments, beach, swimming, fishing, boating, skindiving, booklet. Wall chart perfect for framing, 30 work- thing; 650 rooms, with bath, TV, air conditioning. tennis, bird watching, loafing. Cogenial company on charts. $9.95 plus $1.00 postage. Thomas Guild Singles-$34.00. Don't delay, reserve now. This is a balmy tropical isle. Box 633, Islamorada, FL 33036. Selections, Dept. Ε12, 5617 Brook Drive, Edina, ."sleeper" in every sense. Phone (305)664-4435. Minnesota 55435. SAN FRANCISCO'S BEST BUY—Hotel Cecil- TOBAGO COTTAGES—All sizes, locations, and ANCESTRY TRACED—competent, professional one block from Union Square. A warm welcome rental rates. Cottage Owners Association, Box 194, genealogist.. .nationwide.. .freedetails: Windover,91 awaits you in a charming European atmosphere. Tobago, W.I. Maple Street, North Adams, MA 01247. Courtesy coffee—Sun Deck—Family rates. Write for brochure: 545 Post Street, San Francisco, Calif. WINTER RENTALS—Ocean Front. Spend the MEMORABLEGIFT'.'Yourfavoritetexthandlettered. 94102. (415)673-3733. winter in Myrtle Beach for less than the cost of your gothic or chancery. From $9.95. Free sample, details. utility bills. Free Brochures, THE BREAKERS Handcrafts, 2060-A Green, Ann Arbor MI 48105. SAN FRANCISCO TIME MACHINE- Beautifully RESORT HOTEL, Box 485-SR, Myrtle Beach, S.C. restored 1929 Classic Hotel. 60's prices in 1980! Rates 29577. YOUR BIOGRAPHY—You tape, I write. BIOG start at $95-$ 150 per week; $380-$600 per month. The P.O. 2595 Chicago, 60690. Gaylord, 620 Jones St., San Francisco 94102. (415) SHENANDOAH VALLEY FARM. Beautiful 673-8445. serene secluded. Cottages. Dixons, McGaheysviile, NATURAL FIBER FABRICS, SPECIAL Va. 22840. CLOTHES: CAROL BROWN'S garden encirled BORNEO, NEW GUINEA - Tribes, Wildlife; BO­ home. Putney, Vt., 05346. Handkerchief linen, .noil LIVIA - Llama trek. Jungle safari from $4,000; CA­ CARIBBEAN SEA EFFICIENCIES. Oceanfront, silk, .finest shirtings. . .Liberty, .textured naturals, PERS, Box 5489, Beverly Hills, CaliL 90210. private coconut beach, swimming, snorkeling, surf- .batiks, .prints. BayeuxTapestry. ANDfabulous/r/i/i fishing, relaxing, memorable vacationing. CARIBE- [weeds, blankets, bedspreads. Sherlock Holmes.other SAVE ON LUXURY CRUISE! (passenger ship or PLAYA, Patillas, Puerto Rico 00723. capes to order. Large SASE circular specific requests freighter). How? Ask TravLtips. 163-09 Depot CI 10, get personal attention! Flushing, NY. 11358. ST. SIMONS ISLAND, GEORGIA - Furnished cottage one block frombeautiful beach. (404)2528456. INTERESTING, INTELLIGENT,attractivewoman LONDON HOTEL accomodation with personal in mid-30's, seeks cultured profΊ man, .New York. touch, in family run hotel. Recommended by ΚIA WAH - Weekend/ Weekly rentals of private home American colleges for individual and reasonable &vilIas.CaII I-800-845-39I I,inS.C.I-57I02I4.Tide- SINGLE BOOKLOVERS gets cultured, single, wi­ si?ed group bookings. All rooms have private lands Realty. Inc. P.O. Box 30067., Charleston. S.C. dowed or divorced persons acquainted. Nationwide. bathrooms (bath, lava-tory—not private toilet). 29407. Established 1970. Write Box AE, Swarthmore, Pa. Moderate rates include taxes and full English 19081, orcall{215) 566-2132. breakfast. Excellent bus and underground trans­ TAX DEDUCTIBLE expedition vacations - world­ portation. Inquire to Louis Brisacher, Hotel Tra- wide - no experience necessary-complete background, SAN FRANCISCO AREA WOMAN, academic, vose. 68-70 Queensborough Terrace, London, details, sources, NEW. $3.00 satisfaction guaranteed - seeks man, late forties+, free to share dialogand simple England W2 3 SH. Expeditions. Box I90-I I, 77 Governor Street, Provi­ pleasures. SR Box 2563. dence, RI 02906.

SR December 1980 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG 99 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED OVERSOW SR Competition No. 15 hews that have poured into this office. Puzzles Except for its failure to rhyme "Bent- Another Human Wish Crossed By Reality ley" with "gently," the following neat Literary Ciypt No. 160 verse by Donald Drury of Long Beach, I want to be a :novic szs.r V talent vant to be a :-:cvi£ EZiir talent California, is fairly typical: talent PLAY JAZZ DIXIE HI C MAXA- £ '..'ai'.t to be a covie star 1 w&iit to be a laovie star r.ave ; "Y Bentley of the Clerihew I var.t to be a ir.ovie star Yoi I v.'ant to be a luovie star You don't l-.ave a:.y t; Was surely one of the few I uar^t to be a movie star You don't have any ta; ZATIS MUNDPEW NDPAZ Jl YOIDS I uant to be a movie stsr You don't have ar.y tali Residents of planet Earth I i:a::t to be a i::ovie eta • You don't have any tF.lei I v:ant to be a movie &t LrYou don't have ar.;.- talen' To predecease his date of birth. I vant to be a ir.ovie s ,aru don't have any talent I rant to be a i.'.ovieΰ Etardon't have any talent I want to be a r.o^ i¥outarn't have any talent FUEl FUDIW QUE HUUGY PLCD I want to be a ;:Λ Via don't have any talent We must agree with Gene Castle- I want to be a ' 3U don't have any talent I want to be a L; don'tarave any talent berry of Oklahoma City who wrote, 1 want to be ; novie have any talent JI SU QUE MLIJADV VNF. I want toYcu don't have any talent "This is the most pernicious competi­ 1 want to be a m have any talent I want to be a haieeaejatalent tion you have ever run—once you start I want ton't have any talent You don't have any talent You don't have any talent rhyming names it's almost impossible IZHIEP LNHHCES You don't have any talent You don't have any talent to stop." Appalled at having spread this You don'to be a covielent You don't have any ovie starr addiction, we are organizing meetings You don't have any talent stare Wit Twister No. 172 You don't have any talentie start You don't have iu-y talentovie star,.! of Clerihewlics Anonymous in all You don't have any talent movie star •» Edited By Arthur Swan You don't have any talent a "lovie star major cities. One day at a time, friends. You don't have any talentbe a :.,ovie star+- You don't have any talent be a movie stare?; You can stop if you want to. A special The object of the game is to complete the You don't have any talent be a jiovie star^ poem by thinking of one word whose letters, You don't have any talent I be a ovie star young persons' group will be set up in You don't have any talent I wa a star when rearranged, will yield the appropriate You don't have aiiy talent I be a star Ironton, Ohio, where the members of You don't have any talent I b ovie tai word for each series of blanks. Each dash You don't have any talent I Ms. Sheridan's English class in the You don't have any talent I v;nt b i' with a blank corresponds to a letter of the You don't have any talent I viar-.t ^ ^" Junior High School were our youngest You don't have any talent I v;a;it to be £ word. ou don't hiive any talent I -./ant victims, as witness this effort by Amy You don't have any talent I Darbaker: "Outrageous child!"the mother rants The author of this remarkable work As once more wets her declares it to be an example of Concrete Cheryl Ladd Was very bad: pants. Poetry, and we do not feel like arguing. "I do , my strength is It occurred to us that many another She spilled her pop On a mounted cop. drained. typist must have made similarly stren­ "Ill no more, once she uous efforts to avoid the appearance of After agonies of decision, we an­ is trained!" idleness, and we should like to see some nounce these winners, who will each Barbara B. McCorkle of your typewriter poems. The typeface receive $25: First prize to J. A. Fernerof West Lafayette, Indiana doesn't matter, but you must be brief, Medford, New Jersey: sharp, and intensely black. Each entry Louis Jacques Daguerre should be on a separate sheet of Said, "Please comb your hair November Answers immaculate bond, accompanied by a And hold that silly smile— title, and by the statement that it is My process takes a while." L'rteraiy Ciypt No. 159 original and unpublished. For this Second prize to Alan Duff, Newark, We pay for the mistakes of our special competition we shall award one Delaware: ancestors, and it seems only fair that prize only: $50 plus a small bottle of Robinson Crusoe they should leave us the money to pay correction fluid to replace the gallon with. you used. Though unable to do so, Would have liked to swap Friday Don Marquis Entries for Competition No. 15 must be For Heidi. received by January 5,1981 and the winners will be announced in the March 1981 issue. Please Third prize to Kathy Gilbert of WH Twister No. 171 send submissions to SR Competition No. 15, Miami, Florida: tours, roust, torus, stour, routs Saturday Review, 150 East 58 Street, New York, New York, 10155. All entries become the George Eliot wrote in her diary: property of SR. "Odd that our house is a Priory, Middleton Double-Oostic When I'm an agnostic who is No. 201 Living in sin with George Henry Lewes." Winners of No. 12 EDITH (A.) FOLB: And finally, our warm thanks to RUNNIN' DOWN SOME LINES Like the Joyce who incorporated Fanny Costello, of Charleston, West Synonyms for hardhead, thug, . . . printers' errors into Finnegans Wake, Virginia, who sent in the only Early hoodlum, cutthroat, mad dog, cow­ we would gladly take credit for the American Primitive Clerihew we have boy, varmint, gangster, not only char­ (perfectly genuine) type that had E.C. ever seen. We love it: acterize such teenagers in gangsterlike Bentley dying 19 years before he was Mary Miles Minter or frontier terms that connote a sense of born (1975-1956), in our September Went skating in winter. lawlessness but suggest that, like a mad issue. This innocent blunder inspired She was little and nice dog, such a person is potentially out of nearly half of the thousands of Cleri­ And liked ice. control and physically dangerous.

100 PRODUCED 2005 BY UNZ.ORG SR December 1980 ELECTRONIC REPRODUCTION PROHIBITED