PWLL TENNANTS & and we should always be vigilant in terms whose generous contributions this edition of securing our homes and property. RESIDENTS of the magazine would not have been ASSOCIATION PCSO 8017 Dan Brown Telephone number possible. TEA FOR TWO 101 or e-mail dan.brown@dyfed- We ask our readers to patronise our powys.pnn.police.uk or at our local Bobby sponsors whenever possible and please Pwll Tenants & Residents Association, Box which is situated at Pwll Post Office. Welcome to edition No 34 of The Bônau mention the Bônau Cabbage Patch when together with Fiona owner of the Pavilion You can also follow Dyfed Powys Police on Cabbage Patch. We have put a lot of effort you make your purchases. Café, would like to introduce a new idea to Twitter at into preparing this edition for you and we the villagers of Pwll, which if supported www.twitter.com/dafyddP or would bring in vital funding for Pwll T.R.A. hope you enjoy it. It has all the usual th be their friend on Facebook Available from the 8 June 2011. features plus, hopefully, some you will find at educating or amusing. Tuesday afternoons: Cream Teas www.facebook.com/dafyddP ` We had a very successful Summer Draw – Thursdays: O.A.P.Lunches all tickets were sold - and we would like to Fish & Chip or Curry Suppers for groups or thank you all for contributing the prizes and To contact The Bônau Cabbage Patch or organisations. (These evening meals must NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH & buying the raffle tickets. A special thank The Pwll Action Committee please call be pre booked) POLICING TEAM you to those willing volunteers who tramped 755665 or 755260 or 777420 or drop your For every meal served, Fiona will make a the village selling the tickets. You all did us articles or reports through our letterboxes at The Neighbourhood Watch & Policing donation to the village via the P.T. R.A. proud…where would we be without your 43 or 53 or 81 Pwll Road or you can send Team hold regular meetings in Pwll Pavilion generosity? A full list of winners is us an e-mail at: A number of ideas are being considered, so that the public can meet them and published on page 14. which we hope to introduce shortly. discuss their problems and concerns. [email protected] Meetings (open to all) will be held on the We thank you in anticipation of your Enjoy the magazine. following dates at 6:30pm: - Any photographs we use are first scanned support. and then the originals are returned to their More information from Pam Williams, th BÔNAU DEADLINES rightful owners so don’t be shy or fearful in 6 September Secretary on 01554 776931 st sending us your photographs. It would be 1 November
The deadline for the winter edition of The handy though if you wrote your name and th Your local neighbourhood watch co- Bônau Cabbage Patch is 25 October 2011 address on the back of the photo (in pencil) th ordinator is John Edwards. You can contact for your articles or reports or 20 October or you attached one of those ‘post-it-notes’. John on 775534. You can contact your 2011 for any amendments to your advert. local Police Community Support Officer Dan Brown by phoning 101 or by e-mail at: [email protected]
THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS CLOCKS GO We would like to welcome our new BACK!! sponsors to the magazine and hope that our association will be a long and enjoyable This year, 2011, we Crime figures for Carmarthenshire show NEWS OF THE WEIRD one. 'Go Back' early Sunday morning October that for the period April and May 2011, a th A St Albans man who allegedly cut up his We would also like to express our thanks 30 . Don’t forget!! total of 1362 crimes were recorded. This is brother-in-law with a saw was caught after and gratitude to all our sponsors without a decrease of 132 crimes when compared with the same period last year. Of these, a bird dropped his victim’s thumb from the 58.4% or 795 crimes were detected. This sky. The Bônau Cabbage Patch is published and issued by The Pwll Action Committee. The editors are: Peter Kent (53 Pwll Road - 755260) & Jeff Williams (81 Pwll Road - 777420). Please submit your reports, articles etc to either editor or any other means crime has fallen by 9% and the committee member. Hand written reports are OK – we’ll type them up for you. Please ensure you include your name, address and telephone number so we can contact you just in case we need clarification or we can’t read your writing! You can also detection rate has risen by 8.3%. Explosive experts blew up two hand
contact the magazine by e-mail at: [email protected] th th Carmarthenshire remains one of the safest grenades a family had been using as Closing date for submissions of articles, reports etc for the winter edition is 25 October 2011 - amended adverts by 20 October 2011. places to live in the UK, however, this does bookends at their home since the Second
Any views and opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the views and opinions of The Pwll Action Committee. not mean we should become complacent World War. http://www.pwllmag.co.uk
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cases in England and Wales. The FINAL SCORE HAROLD ‘ COMMANDO ’ WILLIAMS PWLL W.I. introduction of the position of Justice of the Peace is celebrating its 650 th birthday this In September members year. Final Score had been part of BBC's will be starting back after As you can see members are involved in the summer break. They will be looking long-running show numerous and various activities. The forward to numerous activities planned for the Grandstand as far th meetings are held in the Pwll Community coming months. On 10 September 21 nd th back as 1958, members will be travelling to the home of Hall every 2 and 4 Wednesday of the when the results Gareth Richards the chef on SC4. He will month between 7.00 and 9.00. So why not were broadcast on specially prepare and cook a meal for all the come along! a device dubbed members. We have been asked to take our Welcome to all. Croeso i bawb. the Teleprinter, with each character of the own pinnies so we will also be actively results displayed one-by-one. Football fans, involved as well!!! The speaker for September particularly those of lower division teams will be Gavin Evans who will speak about ‘Old NEW PLANETS would wait anxiously for news on their Carmarthen’. In October Joanne Morris will be team's result as live score updates during giving a demonstration on making things out asa has announced matches in those days were rare. The one- of chocolate. The AGM will be held in N by-one letter typing by the teleprinter November and the guest speaker will be the discovery of a strange new solar always heightened the anticipation. Martin Bell (the man in the white suit). system with six planets The results came from the Press Looking back over the last few months orbiting around a sun- Association (PA), who appointed a members were involved in many activities – like star. the Treasure Hunt, indoor and outdoor bowls, correspondent to attend each match and week end trip to Eastbourne including a visit The discovery is mystifying astronomers report back the half-time and full-time to the Brighton Pavilion, the IGM in Liverpool, and illustrates just how much variety is scores to its offices in London. The PA th Above: Harold, celebrating his 90 birthday Birthday lunch in the Halfway Inn in possible in the universe. Five of the planets would then use the technology of the day to nd at The Colliers’ Arms 22 April 2012 Nantgaredig, various planned walks around were found to be in a closer orbit to their provide a feed to BBC Television Centre. the county to name a few! star than any planet in Earth's solar system. The Press Association still provide the
th vidiprinter results service to this day. The successful W.I. Show was held on 9 The team at Nasa and a range of DID YOU KNOW July at Laugharne Millennium Hall. There universities has named the system Kepler- After the majority of the results came in, the was a magnificent display of cookery, controversial brewery has claimed to 11, after the orbiting Kepler space scores would then be collated and A poetry, craft, floral art, photography etc on telescope that spotted it. announced as the Classified Football have snatched the world's strongest beer the theme ‘The Circus’. The members of Results in alphabetical order starting with title from its German rivals - with a 41% Laugharne W.I. were the hosts and volume ale. Scottish firm BrewDog said its the highest leagues first (up to 1992 the provided outstanding refreshments and Children in cars cause accidents: First Division, subsequently the new creation, named Sink The Bismarck! food during the day. The show was opened Accidents in cars cause children. Premiership). Remarkably, only two people "takes beer to a whole new level". It sells by Portreeve Alderman Terry O’Toole. have regularly read the football results on for £40 per 330ml bottle. Later on in the day he invited members to the programme: the Australian Len Martin the Town hall where he gave a very (from the first programme until his death in informative talk on the role of the Portreeve SOME FUNNY QUOTES 1995) and Tim Gudgin. Martin was well- CONGRATULATIONS and the history of Laugharne Corporation (Reasons for request for transport - allegedly known for his intonation when reading the which goes back over six hundred years. from a Medical Journal) Congratulations to Mr D A Jones of scores. It was totally clear from the way in The Portreeve on official duties wears a Stepney Road who celebrates his 95 th I'm under the doctor and can't breathe. which he presented the home team name th. chain which is made up of gold cockle birthday on October 24 followed by number of goals precisely shells. I can't walk to the bus stop and my wife is whether the opponents had won, lost or Congratulations, Doug, from all of us at The bent. In June Gill Price gave a very interesting drawn. He often said that his nightmare Bônau Cabbage Patch talk on the work of the Justice of the Peace I can't breathe and haven't done so for result was: Forfar 4, East Fife 5. He was or also called a magistrate. Magistrates are years. succeeded by Tim Gudgin who also uses volunteers who hear cases in courts and I live five miles from the clinic and the the distinct BBC intonation. Do it well, or not at all BUT half a loaf deal with around 95 per cent of criminal postman says I should have it. is better than none. BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW… OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF PET CARE ON FIREWORK NIGHT NEW A.M . BABES ► Take your dog for a long walk well We have a new A.M. Wallabies are getting "as high as a kite" In the beginning, which before fireworks are likely to begin. Keith Davies (Labour) on opium in Australian poppy fields and defeated Helen Mary flattening crops as they hop round in occurred near the start, there ► Keep doors, windows and cat flaps was nothing but God, closed. Jones (Plaid Cymru) at circles. th darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, the elections held on 5 ► Draw the curtains. The marsupials have been getting into 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He May 2011 by a majority of medical opium crops in the southern island must be a lot older than that. ► Play music with a repetitive beat to help 80 votes. state of Tasmania and chewing on the mask sounds. plant's intoxicating heads, state officials You can contact Keith by e-mail at the He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam ► Although it’s tempting, do not comfort or said. following address: and Eve were naked, but they weren't reassure your pets – they will feel that you "We have a problem with wallabies getting embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been are anxious too and their fear will be [email protected] as high as a kite and going around in invented yet. rewarded and encouraged. circles," state attorney-general Lara ► Never punish your pets – it is not their Giddings said. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating fault that they are scared and it will add to DID YOU KNOW "Then they crash. We see crop circles in one bad apple, so they were driven from their anxiety. the poppy industry from wallabies that are the Garden of Eden...Not sure what they A theme park has were driven in though, because they didn't ► Ensure your pets are micro chipped so high.” been forced to ban a have cars. that if they do escape from the house, Note: Tasmania is the world's largest producer of scared and confused, there is more chance daredevil squirrel legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market, dam and Eve had a son, Cain, who from one of its rides with about 500 farms supplying approximately 50 A you will be reunited. as its antics posed a health and safety risk, percent of the raw material for morphine and other hated his brother as long as he was Abel. ► opiate drugs. Let cats hide where they like – do not try it said. The rodent was said to be causing Pretty soon all of the early people died to tempt them out. headaches for operators at Alton Towers by
off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be ► If cats are scared, do not pick them up or getting in the way of improvement work on like a million or something. an attraction at the resort. restrain them as cats prefer to control how they cope. The youngest drum corps queen in Getting fired is nature's way of REMEMBER : Hedgehogs and other small memory at Rio de Janeiro's lavish party had telling you that you had the w rong creatures may sleep in a bonfire. Build the a shyness attack upon realising she was job in the first place. fire as late as possible and disturb it around the centre of everyone's attention. YE OLDE CREME the bottom before lighting to give wildlife a
CUSTARD TARTE chance to escape. Ensure the bonfire is
nowhere near any pet.
Teke creme a gode Support bacteria - they're the only REAL BIZARRE NAMES cupfulle, & put it on a © PDSA 2012 culture some people have. straynour, thanne take
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deep Low pressure for the time of the year.” Jane Sutton’s house sat on Boar-Ring’s “That,” DI Davies answered with suitable Is another weatherman quote. They should most affluent street, dressed in stylish ivy and gravity, “was Old Freddy Meeks’ last come and live in Pwll for some time and looking peaceably down over a landscaped sentence. The directions from his house, In the previous edition I experience the continuous windy front lawn where goldfish swept around under straight to the home of his murderer.” conditions. a protective mesh. The front door, lovingly mentioned about garden pests such as “Here?” Jane asked. jackdaws attacking crops in gardens. Well, Due to the lack of rainfall part of the painted racing green by Mr Sutton each unfortunately one gentleman had this very summer, was adorned with a golden nose, “Here,” Don nodded. “It took us a while to riverbed of the Dulais was exposed which work it out, but it’s all very clear now. The experience. This person had started which Detective Inspector Don Davies lifted enabled dandelions and various other shell, of course, is the petrol station; the fire harvesting his peas and dropped three times. Squashed behind plants to flourish, this had not been seen for him on the front path, Sergeant Sal, Hughes, mouthed is the dragon on top of the pavilion. and beans and was some time during the past summers as we Johns, and three other glory hunters stood in Do you see where I’m going with this, Jane?” looking forward to a all know we have had copious amounts of silent anticipation. They’d all stopped moping Jane scrunched her lips into a contemplative bumper crop this rainfall! the minute Griff had arrived at the station, and season but had ‘o’. On a calmer note the swans on our great they’d practically danced down to Jane to venture away for a weekend. I mentioned Sutton’s house, like children going on a school “The spire is the church,” she concluded. to him “Have you covered the crop with lakes had another successful breeding season with a brood of four cygnets, an trip. Naturally, Don was annoyed. “Which leads us,” Don said, “to you, Mrs netting?” “No. I have never had any improvement on the two of last year and “Stop jostling around, would you,” he barked. Sutton.” problems before,” came the reply. next year perhaps achieve a full “Sorry, Boss,” they chorused, heads down. “Or to my husband, or my son, or to Felicity However, the weekend passed and all was compliment of eight cygnets. even,” Jane mocked. She indicated a point Sally, Don noticed, didn’t join in. quiet on the western front until Monday behind her on the hall floor and the assembled evening when the individual returned. Another article over and I can only say that Moments later, Jane answered the door, so far (end of July) we were experiencing a officers craned to see in through the doorway. There was then an almighty din from this dressed and made up but with her hair coiled Green collared and green eyed, the cat raised slightly better summer than last year. over enormous, bright pink rollers. Touching very irate person. ”The her head for a moment then lowered it back to jackdaws have eaten all See you all in December. her fingers to them, she craned around DI the floor, her long, black tail rhythmically my peas and beans!” Davies to count the swatting the tiles. This, presumably, was police officers lined shouted the angry and Felicity. up down her annoyed person. The Indecision is the key to flexibility. garden. DI Davies swallowed his anger. It stuck in his following day I actually throat like a large boiled sweet. witnessed the massacre of “Hello, officers” she “Jane Sutton,” he began. “I am arresting you the vegetables. What a mess! Well, the said, creasing her nose up towards her on suspicion –” only thing I can say is that “You were IRISH BLESSING warned”. forehead. “I seem to “Oh, come on, Don. We’ve been through this. Always remember to forget have caused some sort You’ve already ruined my holiday.” According to the met office it was the The things that made you sad. of an event.” warmest April since records began. But boy “Of the murder of Mr Frederick Meeks –” But never forget to remember Don cleared his throat did we pay for it in May. From April 30th to The things that made you glad. and puffed his chest “You’ve known me for twenty years, Donald.” June1st we suffered very blustery or gale out. He lifted the piece force winds every day. That’s 33 “You do not have to say anything –” Always remember to forget of paper, slowly, continuous days of wind! - but not much The friends that proved untrue. dramatically, until it Jane started backing down the hallway. Don rainfall. White horses were a familiar sight stepped over the doormat and into the cool, But never forget to remember was right in front of his across the bay and due to these conditions nose. He read. echoing darkness. Felicity sprung from the Those that have stuck by you. fishermen out of Burry Port harbour were floor and leapt up the stairs, her black fur “Past the shell, the fire mouthed blows a flame marooned and could not pursue their glistening like wet coal. Always remember to forget towards the spire. Turn right, then left, then fishing delights, The troubles that passed away. left twice more, identity will soon transpire.” “But anything you do say –”
But never forget to remember What an earth has happened to our With one swift movement, Jane plucked one The blessings that come each day. weather? We’ve had gale force winds and over…. of the rollers from her hair, and flung it at DI “Don’t call me that,” Jane answered, without give up. Jane Sutton was giving him nothing, theories over his; and soon, they’d be blaming Davies. Her curled hair bobbed on her head like looking at him. and Sally was starting to look at him like he him for losing evidence, too. something alive. Don continued with his was a fool. procedure, reciting the words he had memorized “What should I call you?” Don asked, pulling Sally listened for the slam of the door as she as a boy sitting in front of the television. Jane his eyes open as wide as they would go. “Okay,” he said, slamming his hands against stalked down the corridor and away from Jane the table as he stood. “That’s enough. Sutton. A couple of days and she’d be able to stepped slowly but carefully backwards, “The same thing you always have. Don’t be bombarding him now with a fusillade of electric Enough.” He thundered out of the room. cry relief over her husband, then carry on as ignorant, Don. There’s no need for that.” pink rollers – a roller for a word. They bounced normal, Sally thought. Stepping out into the off him and into the walls before dropping to the DI Davies did not reply. He took a seat next clammy dark of the car park, she smiled to floor. to Sergeant Sal, sitting down as heavily as herself. When the investigation into Don
When she hit the kitchen table, sending the possible so that the plastic chair banged began, there’d be an excellent young four legs screeching across the floor, she under the strain. Across the table, Jane Sergeant just waiting to work her way up jumped. through the ranks and take his place. She called, just once, to her husband. Hearing the pull of panic in Jane’s voice, Mr Sutton ran in “Has she said anything, Sergeant?” was ready. She hadn’t sat on the bank of a from the back garden to find his wife being lake, sweating into her running shoes as handcuffed. And promptly fainted. Sally shook her head. Don considered the morning had clambered over the horizon, and look on the girl’s face. He couldn’t make out watched a sad old man drown himself for Griff was still at the station when they arrived. what she was thinking; whether or not Jane nothing. Don had asked him to stay: as he pulled into had given away some incriminating detail to She deserved rewarding for witnessing the car park though, he wasn’t quite sure why. her while he’d been out of the room. Likely something as hopeless as that. Jane, mute and shivering in the back of the she was thinking of nothing at all. He never Sally waited until the door had swung back car, did her best to loosen the mad curls her had thought Sally a very competent copper. rollers had left behind – if someone managed against its frame, then she too stood. When She was too simple-minded. (Any resemblence to any person living or dead in this she spoke, her voice was as calm as a pond to snap a photograph, she didn’t want to look work of fiction is purely co-incidental) “Where were you on the night of Mr Meeks’ on a summer’s morning. anything less than perfectly sane. The handcuffs dug into the flesh of her thick wrists murder, Mrs Sutton?” Story & Artwork © Rebecca F John 2011 “Thank you, Jane,” she said. “I’m sorry about as she moved. With a sigh that sounded like a car tyre Don – you know what he’s like. Somebody EDITORS NOTE: Griff watched Jane being walked past him and deflating, Jane let her head drop onto her will come through to talk to you in a minute.” regretted, instantly, bringing that piece of arms and stayed there a while, her upper “Are they going to make me stay here?” Jane Rebecca F. John, who wrote this story for us, paper to DI Davies. The woman was old: her body spread over the table as though she asked, her voice swinging like a wind chime – is a local author that used to live in Pwll. Her slip-on shoes slapped as she shuffled along, herself was the dead body. the notes jumping and clashing. Though she first collection of short stories will be available head down; her pleated skirt swung around in October 2011 from “I don’t know, and neither do you,” she told the knew she was innocent, the woman was her heavy legs. They had it wrong. That arms of her jumper. Her voice sounded far- scared. And Sally felt bad for her, she really www.grievousjonespress.com much was obvious. Old Freddy must have got off. “On the day he was found , I flew to Spain did, but there had to be a casualty somewhere his directions confused. or direct from Rebecca. Just send The Bônau to see my daughter … And why do you along the way. Cabbage Patch your request/enquiry and we “Take her through,” Don told Sally. It was presume he was murdered at night, anyway – “I’m not sure,” Sally said, trying to sound will forward them direct to Rebecca. another of those little phrases television because he was found in the morning? soothing. “I’ll find out as soon as possible.” drama had taught him. Next to him, he Everyone knows he’d been dead for days by thought he felt Sally shudder as he said it. He the time your lot found him. God, you’re an Before leaving the room, Sally retrieved the In any organisation there is always one grasped her by the elbow and whispered into idiot sometimes, Don.” evidence bag from the table. She studied the person who knows what is going on - her ear. “Let her stew,” he said. writing through the folds of the plastic. She Don sat up straighter and took a breath deep this person must be found and fired. thought it looked pretty good; authentic. It still He’d wait longer than twenty-five minutes this enough to make a barrel of his chest. had to go though, get lost, disappear into the time. “Do you care to explain this, Mrs Sutton?” he dirty cracks of Boar-Ring Police Station – He counted exactly thirty-four minutes before asked, once again producing the riddle. He because once they realised they had nothing he stepped into the station’s one interview TEACHER & MILLIE tossed the evidence bag onto the table. on Jane Sutton, someone was going to room. At night it was uglier than ever. The Under the lights, it shone like just-cleaned suggest analysing the handwriting. And that walls felt damp, like the walls of a cave on a silver. someone was probably going to be Sally Teacher: “Millie, give me a sentence beach, and Jane Sutton looked to be turning herself. starting with "I." blue as she sat at the table. She looked ten Jane did not lift her head. Millie: “I is...” years older than she had when they’d picked It had taken longer than she’d expected to “I can’t explain that,” she muttered. persuade the team of DI Don Davies’ Teacher: No, Millie... Always say, "I am." her up. Two hours had traipsed by before Detective ineptitude. But she was getting somewhere Millie: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the “So,” Don said, “Mrs Sutton.” Inspector Don Davies decided it was time to now. They were already championing her alphabet."
BÔNAU SUMMER RAFFLE LETTER TO THE EDITOR PWLL been other opportunities for Lara and Cerith to RESULTS PRIMARY get to know their new school. Visiting days have also been arranged at the other schools. Croeso n’ôl SCHOOL TICKET PRIZE PRIZE Hyfryd oedd croesawu dwy hen ffrind yn ôl During our school leavers’ assembly we spoke No No i’n plith. about our memories of our school and shared 3239 1 £50 Kleeneze Voucher our feelings about moving to our new schools. 0970 2 £30 Morrison’s Voucher Ddaeth Beryl Jones a’i merch Bethan YEAR 6 MOVE ON It was really good – we really cried a lot! 1274 3 £30 Tesco Voucher Gillies o Ganada am wyliau o fis, a Jordan Hitchcock and Tomos Davies report (By Melica James and Scott Hayes) 0220 4 £25 M&S Voucher chawsom groeso mawr gan llu o’u ffrindiau. on preparations for our year 6 pupils as they 0375 5 £25 Debenham’s Voucher Gwaetha’r modd, roedd y tywydd yn get ready to move on to their new schools. 1964 6 Remote Control Toy Car Well Done Cricketers! 2578 7 Bottle Whisky anffafriol, ond ni wnaethom ddigalonni.
1255 8 Bottle Whisky Yn anffodus tua ddiwedd eu hymweliad, 1087 9 Bailey’s Irish Cream cafodd chwaer Beryl ei tharo’n wael, ac 0304 10 Cuddly Toy aeth wythnos ddiwetha o’u gwyliau yn 3207 11 Bottle Wine ymweld a’r ysbyty. 1683 12 Bottle Wine 4838 13 Two Jigsaws Hefyd cawsom y newyddion drwg fod ei 3173 14 1 piece Teaset merch yng nghyfraith wedi cael damwain 3175 15 DVD Labelling Kit erchyll. 1888 16 Kitchen Roll Dispenser 1399 17 Breakfast Set Edrychwn ymlaen i’r ymweliad nesa’.
0620 18 Pickle Dish GJ We have been preparing to leave for a long 1349 19 Summer Sun Lotions 4719 20 Toiletries time and we have spent a lot of work on it. As usual we do not all go to the same secondary 3326 21 Toiletries If you're afraid of being lonely, don't school. (Above: Pwll Primary school Cricket Team)
Unfortunately the “Data Protection Act” always try to be right. It will be tough to leave behind all of our prevents us from detailing the winners friends in Pwll School, in every year as well as names, addresses or telephone numbers year 6 as Lara Griffiths, Cerith Allen, Sasha Our school cricket have had an outstanding but please be assured that all winners have Alderman and Jordan Hichcock will not be summer. We were one of four schools from received their prizes. joining the rest of year 6 in Glan Y Mor. Llanelli to go through to the county finals of Queen Elizabeth, St John Lloyds and the Asda Kwik-cricket tournament in We must thank the following: Carmarthen in June. In the county finals we THE GARDENING CLUB Coedcae will be lucky to have these great - The very kind people who donated the pupils. We’ll all miss you deeply and wish you won our group which included Ysgol Y prizes. We had a terrific response from you Some quotes … all good luck in your new secondary school. Dderwen, Swiss Valley, Llanpumpsaint and Bro Banw, Ammanford. all and because of the response managed On every stem, on every leaf, and at the Everyone in year 6 has been having all sorts Our school, together with Ysgol Dewi Sant to have a draw with a total of 21 prizes! root of everything that grew, was a of emotions. Some year 6 pupils have been represented Carmarthenshire in the South - All the people who helped us sell the professional specialist in the shape of grub, feeling scared and worried. However others have been feeling excited and happy. Wales finals at the Swalec Stadium, Cardiff tickets. Without your help and caterpillar, aphis, or other expert, whose this week. It was a fantastic experience for determination we would not have made as business it was to devour that particular We have all visited our new secondary us to play on a test match ground! We much money as we did. part. (Oliver Wendell Holmes) schools whether it’s Queen Elizabeth, St John Lloyds or Glan Y Mor. In Glan Y Mor we’ve performed really well against the best - All the very kind hearted people who No two gardens are the same. No two had an Olympic day and an opening day. On schools from all over south Wales. We beat bought the raffle tickets. The draw made days are the same in one garden. the Olympic day we did many different sports Llandrindod Wells and tied against the (Hugh Johnson) £930.00 (net), which is enough to cover the such as badminton, basketball, and table eventual group winners Marshfield Primary printing costs for one edition of the We have descended into the garden and tennis. At the end of the day we had a relay School from Newport. We lost other games magazine. caught three hundred slugs. How I love the with our Olympic torches, which different very narrowly which went down to the last mixture of the beautiful and the squalid in schools made. few balls. We must remember that we are a
gardening. It makes it so lifelike. (Evelyn school of less than 100 pupils and have If marriage were outlawed, only At Queen Elizabeth High school pupils went Underhill, Letters) on a buddy trip to St Fagans. There have also competed against schools of around 400 outlaws would have in-laws. pupils in these tournaments. Our cricket team was: Josh Jewell, Tristan SPANISH career in the Elkington factory) who Morris, Connor Bunyan, Jordan Hitchcock, ADVERT suggested to George Elkington that Burry Dominic Bowler-Edwards, Alisha Ward, Port might be a suitable place for him to Megan Lake and Charli-Leigh Craig. Well Come to sunny build his own factory for the refinement of done everyone! Spain this HOLY TRINITY CHURCH copper. summer for your At the height of the process, George family holiday! Elkington employed over 1,000 people in It's got Leslie Griffiths began his excellent paper Burry Port. As more people moved into the everything... Sand for the children, fishing to the Burry Port Historical Society on 9 area, the population of the parish grew from galore for Dad, sun for the wife, and plenty September 2008 with his observation that 2,645 in 1831 to 4,773 in 1871. It is of sharks for the mother-in-law. the birth of Burry Port began not in recorded that 28% of this latter figure were Carmarthenshire but in Birmingham. It was incomers – many of them from Cornwall. the development of electro-plating in this George Elkington and the Burry Port THE MOON great city, which gave rise to the birth of the Smelting Company identified and town. addressed the needs of this increasing Scientists have shown that At the centre of the story is George population with the provision of housing the moon is moving away at Richards Elkington (1801–65). His (Elkington building Refinery Row, Dyfatty a tiny, although measurable (Former England test bowler Jeff Jones visited the school to generation inherited a process by which Terrace and Woodbrook Terrace and the pass on vital coaching tips to our cricket team). distance from the earth every silver plated goods were made by rolling Smelting Company building Silver Terrace). year. If you do the maths, and soldering thin sheets of silver on In 1849, Elkington built the Copperworks Eco Day Success you can calculate that 85 million years ago copper. By 1832, however, Elkington was School, large enough to accommodate 500 the moon was orbiting the earth at a This event took place on Friday 8 July, we beginning to plate base metals with silver pupils. His crowning gift to the people of the distance about 20 feet from the earth's had loads of fun. We had sporting activities in and gold by a process of electrodeposition. new town was, however, a new parish surface. This would explain the death of the the morning but in the afternoon we had In the 1840s, he incorporated the work of a church. Sadly, Elkington did not survive to dinosaurs - the tallest ones, anyway. activities for all years and parents were surgeon who had discovered the use of see the finished product but it was allowed to come and join us. cyanide in potassium for electroplating; dedicated to his memory.
In the morning we had a walking bus for all bought out a process discovered by I went to a fight and an ice hockey the classes to walk to school. We had certain another scientist, which drew on Faraday’s game broke out. meeting points where we would meet up and 1830 discovery of magneto-electricity, and The ‘Cathedral’ of Burry Port and Pwll, walk together whilst wearing yellow jackets. entered into a partnership with Josiah which now provides the tallest landmark on We got soaked by the time we got to school! Mason. the Millennium Coastal Park, has stood in We all had fun and enjoyed the whole day. The increasing profile of the Elkingtons led the teeth of the weather in a very exposed After morning break we had games activities NEWS OF THE WEIRD to Prince Albert visiting the Birmingham position for over 130 years. Following an organised by year 5 and 6 pupils. All the Architect’s report in 2007, however, it was school (including staff) warmed up to Zumba A New Zealand man really wanted his factory in 1851. Further royal dignity was revealed that if the building was not given a in the junior yard. We did a range of different psychiatric doctors to take him seriously. bestowed upon the company when, in new roof and some major work, it would games activities to get our pulses going. So in order to achieve his goal he 1868, Queen Victoria permitted royal plate deteriorate beyond repair. On 14 amputated his own little finger, cooked it to be copied by the Elkingtons. By the end After lunch we had practical activities during September 2008, a Campaign was with some vegetables (gotta get in those 5 of the nineteenth century, the name three timetabled sessions. We made Elkington was synonymous with the best in launched to both restore St Marys but also smoothies, set up a fair trade stall and did servings of veggies a day) and ate it. silverware and became a market leader. to reorder it to make it ‘fit for purpose’ in the many other activities on the eco theme. Every Initially he thought to remove and ingest st Amongst distinguished customers were the 21 century. An outstanding £580,000 has pupil agrees we should do this again. We all another finger the next day, but decided been raised (with support from the Welsh enjoyed it from start to end. eating one would be enough to capture Royal family and the White-Star line Assembly Government and their attention. Ya think! (including the Titanic). The link with Burry Carmarthenshire County Council but the Port was established through the copper trade. Electroplating needed a base metal majority of the money coming from our own fundraising) and the building has been I'm living so far beyond my income and copper was considered a leading TRIVIA closed for 12 months whilst the work takes that we may almost be said to be option. Swansea was the world’s centre for Featherstonhaugh is a very rare name, the refinement of copper and it was place. living apart. and is pronounced 'Fanshaw' Alexander Parkes (who had begun his In addition to re-slating the roof and all the EGLWYS Diolch hefyd am eich cefnogaeth yn ystod y work to the spire and stonework outside, LIBANUS flwyddyn. ‘Rydym wedi llwyddo casglu ac Caroe and Partners of Wells (heritage anfon £1,000 tuagat waith hir-dymor yr architects) have redesigned the West end elusen eleni eto. of the building, inserting a new glass West Most meetings take place in Holy Trinity Oedfa ar fore Sul door opening into a Narthex which sits Church or Church Hall at 7.00pm on the am 10 o’r gloch. Romanian Aid Foundation between the west end bay of pillars. On Oedfa Gymun first Monday of the month. There is a warm Fel y gwyddoch mae Support for Romania either side of the Narthex is a kitchen, welcome to anyone who would like to come unwaith y mis a’r Suliau yn amrywio. toilets and an office and above the Narthex along to a meeting. For further details of Ysgol Sul y Plant yn ystod yr Oedfa. wedi gorffen mynd a nwyddau ac yn casglu is a mezzanine floor which will increase the Mothers’ Union activities, or to check the Bydd Sul Diolchgarwch ar 25 Medi 2011 yn ariannol yn unig erbyn hyn felly ‘rydym seating capacity of the building. It is an venue for a particular meeting, please – a phlant ac athrawon y festri yn gofalu am wedi newid i Romanian Aid Foundation ac exciting design, which will be one of the first contact Branch Leader Margaret Howells yr oedfa. Byddwn yn casglu reis, pasta a unwaith eto trwy law Paul. Mae’r elusen yn major re-orderings of a listed church on 752025. The first meeting of the New thiniau o fwyd eleni eto i Romanian Aid yn gweithio drwy bartneriaid – Asociatia building in this part of Carmarthenshire. As Term takes place in Church on Monday 5 ogystal a chasgliad ariannol I elusen arall. Neemia – sy’n ganolog yn Dorohoi. Elusen we go to press, we are hoping to have the September at 7.30pm. llawer llai ond mae’r angen yn fawr. Bydd eich nwyddau yn mynd i gymunedau yn building back in September sometime for Y Gymdeithas - Yr haf drosodd a bydd yn ardal Dorohoi ac yn canolbwyntio ar an official re-opening by the Lord Bishop of FROM THE REGISTERS… ail ddechrau ym mis Medi 2011. ‘Rydym bentrefi sydd wedi dioddef o lifogydd. Mae St Davids and Lord Leslie Griffiths of Burry wedi mwyhau nosweithiau amrywiol a Port on Sunday 20 November at 10.30am. diddorol dros y tymor. Diolch i Deryth a’r un o’r canolfanau casglu yn Llanbed – felly Further details from Cathryn Thomas on The following have been Christened in swyddodion sy’n trefnu. ar stepen drws fel pe tai. Byddwn yn 07717 824415. Holy Trinity over the past few months… casglu yr un math o bethau ag o’r blaen. Y Dosbarth Llenyddiaeth . - Y dosbarth yn Bydd bocsis esgidiau i’r plant amser Gwennan Cari Walters, 19 Maindy Road, ail-gydio ar 21 Medi 2011 am ddwy awr ar Nadolig yn mynd i’r ysgolion lleol a Cathays, Cardiff (HT, 3 July) brynhawn Mercher rhwng 2 a 4 o’r gloch. theuluoedd ac i Ganolfan Downs Syndrome Erin Wynne Thomas, 39 Penscilly Mae’n werth dod i fwynhau llenyddiaeth yn Dorohoi. Dyma ei cyfeiriad ar y we os Crescent, Llandaff, Cardiff (HT, 3 July) Cymraeg dan arweiniad Bethan. Cewch ydych am rhagor o fanylion. www.roaf.org Harri Grifydd Thomas, 39 Penscilly foddhad mawr. Mae’r dosbarth yn agored i Rhifau ffon - 01554 758023 a 01554 Crescent, Llandaff, Cardiff (HT, 3 July) bawb. 810640 a 01554 759771 Ethan John Evans, 84 Maes yr Haf, Pwll Jumble Sale (HT 17 July) Friday 9 September 2011 at Oedfaon Arbennig yn ystod Awst . – Bu pm - Holy Trinity Church Hall We congratulate them and their parents Suliau mis Awst yn wahanol eleni eto a CHRISTIAN AID and godparents and welcome them into the chawsom fudd mawr o’r amrywiaeth. worldwide family of Christ’s Church. Cynulleidfaeodd yn llai oherwydd gwyliau he Christian Aid ond cyfle newydd i gymdeithasu a T Harvest Festival Week Service and house to house Sunday 25 September 2011 mwynhau cwmni’n gilydd mewn gwahanol THE SPEAKERS FORUM. ffyrdd. Gwybdaith I’r aelodau a ffrindiau i collection raised less this year, 9am Harvest Eucharist with Once again we have a fabulous line up of Oedfa yn Soar y Mynydd ar y Sul cyntaf. Ar understandably I suppose due to the Presentation of Gifts economic situation with everyone’s money 5pm Harvest Eucharist with Special Speakers for the new term: ol llwyddiant llynedd, aelodau a ffrindiau yn awyddus I fynd eto ac aros am bryd o fwyd having to stretch further, but we are Preacher OCTOBER 13 - The Exciting Future of yn llandilo ar y ffordd yn nol. Ar y trydydd certainly very well off in comparison to the Heart and Soul Rugby (Mark Davies, Our Supper this year is on Tuesday 27 Sul Oedfa Gymun am 2 o’r gloch y people we support. Nevertheless the September Chief Executive of the Scarlets) treasurer has been able to send a cheque prynhawn a’r Parchedig Alun Jones yn NOVEMBER 10 The Changing Face of gwasanaethu a thê yn dilyn. Hyn yn gyfle for £1,000 again this year although the the Prison Service ( David Richards & Tarul i’n haelodau sy’n methu dod yn y bore, gael value of the money is much less than it was Clement, Swansea Prison) Cymundeb a chymdeithasu. Da iawn oedd five years ago. Thank you for your continued support and generosity and for All meetings in the Narthex at St.Marys, cael eu cwmni. It is better to be roughly right than purchasing Fair Trade Goods. Church Road, Burry Port at 7.00pm to be precisely wrong. (Free Parking in the St Marys Church Car Cymorth Cristnogol - Pwyllgor y Pwll yn cyfarfod yn festri Libanus. Park behind the Church) EMERGENCY SITUATION – on the doorstep so to speak. It is a much DID YOU KNOW The walk downstairs to the breakfast table smaller charity, fewer lorries travel there is exercise enough for any gentleman. I’m sure you have seen the horrendous and they concentrate on the Dorohoi area. Did you know that liquorice started being (Chauncey Mitchell Depew ) suffering of children and adults on the grown seriously in the UK back in the The Charity works through a partnership To a foreigner a Yankee is an American. To television coverage of the conditions in 1500s and was originally grown only in with Asociatia Neemia, based in Dorohoi, an American a Yankee is a Northerner. To East African countries. Many places have Pontefract, Yorkshire (yes, hence and this group distributes the donated a Northerner a Yankee is a New Englander. not had any rain for 3 years and it has been Pontefract Cakes!), due to its rich loamy goods to the poor families that have To a New Englander a Yankee is a the driest conditions for over 60 years. No suffered badly from flooding. Some victims soil. food or water for the population and the Vermonter. To a Vermonter a Yankee is a still do not have replacement They take their liquorice so seriously in the person who eats apple pie for breakfast. cattle, on which these people depend, are accommodation, some live in containers, town of Pontefract that they have a suffering and dying therefore they have no (Traditional American saying ) (with only a communal toilet and water Liquorice Festival there every year. source whatsoever – their only hope gone. supply), whilst others have fallen into debt Extra Refugee Camps are being opened due to the cost of repairing their houses. It and these are filling daily, people are is not possible to address every need but ON BREAKFAST WHEN I WAS A BOY walking hundreds of miles in the hope of the average donation of clothing, food or help, babies, children and the elderly dying other items is worth about £20 per visit. on the way. We see the picture but we The team tries to ensure that as many To eat well in When I was a boy, the Sioux have no idea of the suffering. Christian Aid people as possible are helped. If you England you is already working in the area together with owned the world. The sun rose would like further information the Charity should have the other four big International Charities. and set in their land; they sent web site is www.roaf.org . We will be breakfast three ten thousand men into battle. The situation is so desperate that even the accepting all the goods as before, eg times a day authorities of Sudan have now opened the bedding, bicycles, clothes, shoes, toys etc (Somerset Maughan ) Where are the warriors today? Who slew borders allowing foreign aid into the and in addition knitting wool and needles them? Where are our lands? Who owns country. As I write this it is raining heavily and all material including small off-cuts. Once a woman has them? in Pwll – if only we could share it. Pipe forgiven her man, she must not reheat his dream maybe but we can help through sins for breakfast. (Marlene Dietrich ) What white man can say I ever stole his supporting Christian Aid’s Emergency HARVEST THANKSGIVING . The Harvest land or a penny of his money? Yet they say I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I Disaster Fund and Christian Aid asks for gifts of rice, pasta and tins of food will be I am a thief. accepted on Sunday, 25 th September, told Jeeves to drink it himself. your support once again. If you wish to (P.G.Wodehouse ) What white woman, however lonely, was contribute, please contact any member of 2011, at Libanus Vestry between 11.00. ever captive or insulted by me? Yet they the Pwll Committee which has members and 11.30am. Should your Harvest Service Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast say I am a bad Indian. from Libanus, Holy Trinity and Bethlehem. be later telephone one of the contact (Oscar Wilde )
Alternatively the web site is numbers please and we will do our best to What white man has ever seen me drunk? Laugh before breakfast, you'll cry before accommodate you. www.christianaid.org.uk or telephone - supper. (Traditional ) Who has ever come to me hungry and left
Contact Nos:- 01554 772441 or 01554 me unfed? Who has ever seen me beat my He smiled rather too much. He smiled at 758023 Thank you. wives or abuse my children? What law CHRISTMAS SHOE BOXES – called Joy breakfast, you know. (Charles Wheeler on the have I broken? in a Box. spy George Blake ) ROMANIAN AID Is it wrong of me to love my own? Is it All happiness depends on a leisurely FOUNDATION (SOUTH These will be sent as usual and will go to wicked for me because my skin is red? WALES) breakfast. (John Gunther ) the school children and poor families in Because I am a Sioux? Because I was born As we told you in the last Dorohoi and also to the Downs Syndrome My wife and I tried to breakfast together, where my father lived? Because I would die Support Centre in Dorohoi. The boxes are edition Support for but we had to stop or our marriage would for my people and my country? packed at Libanus Vestry and this year they have been wrecked. (Winston Churchill ) Romania has now finished collecting goods st have to be ready by 1 November so that (Sitting Bull - Teton Sioux ) but still takes monetary donations so we they arrive in plenty of time for Christmas. It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast - have decided to continue to collect goods Exact date to be arranged. For further even the English can't do it. (John Kenneth and changed to Romanian Aid Foundation Galbraith ) details or queries please contact 01554 It doesn't matter w hat temperature and this is again through our contact Paul. 758023 or 01554 810640 or 01554 759771. The critical period in matrimony is breakfast a room is; it's always room The main warehouse is in Horley, Surrey, Thank you. time. (Sir Alan Patrick Herbert ) temperature. but The South Wales Depot is in Lampeter COMPUTERS A GIRL CAN DREAM HOLY TRINITY CHURCH PWLL CRICKET CLUB League positions as at By Jude Speaker’s Forum – Autumn th 24 July 2011 Computers make I wish a fairy would take my hand, Calendar
very fast, very And lead me to live in commercial land. There is an invitation for members of both accurate mistakes. Where all love life and everything in it, churches in Pwll and Burry Port, and also Division Three - First XI - Table Buy a Pentium And headaches only last a minute. members of the public, to attend a series
586/90 so you can where guest speakers talk on a given topic. Where I could drive the car of my dreams, P Pts reboot faster. Entry is free, but donations will be accepted at And my best part dress wouldn’t pull at the seams. the end of the evening for the chosen charity. Llandysul 13 309 Never let a Meetings are held every second Thursday of computer know you're in a hurry. Where my children are happy and good and Bronwydd 13 226 the month between October 2011 and March polite, Landore 13 198 No electrons were harmed in the creation of And my eldest doesn’t stat out all night. 2012. The chosen charity for the new series of this message. ‘Speaker’s Forum’ is T ŷ Bryngwyn Hospice in Pwll 13 185
Where my pedigree pets never have muddy Llanelli. Briton Ferry Town 13 186 THINK - it gives you something to do while paws, the computer is down. The meetings start at 7pm at the newly Hills Plymouth 13 185 And never leave dirty things on clean floors. refurbished Narthex in St Mary’s Church, To err is human. To really screw things up Where friends console me when I’m down in Porthcawl 13 176 Burry Port you need a computer. the dumps, Cimla 13 130 October 13 th With computers, every morning is the dawn And I can serve gravy without sieving the lumps. Mark Davies – Chief Executive Officer for the Baglan 13 122 of a new error. Scarlets. Dyffryn 13 77 Where I can colour my hair, “Cos I’m worth it I say”, Mark was born in Aberdare, and previously
And no one will notice I’ve covered the grey. worked for Honda for 20 years. He was Where a special cream will aid my tone, General Manager of the UK Car and Division Three – Second XI - Table And render me a wrinkle free zone. Motorcycle business, and some time later the P Pts I went to a bookstore and asked the European Motorcycle business. Bronwydd 12 221 saleswoman, "Where's the self-help Where my garden’s abundant with fruit and “THE EXCITING FUTURE OF HEART AND section?" She said if she told me, it flowers, Hills Plymouth 13 201 would defeat the purpose. And I haven’t been there toiling for hours. SOUL RUGBY” Dyffryn 12 174 Where my train is always on time at the th station, November 10 Porthcawl 13 174 And I never suffer from constipation. David Richards – Head Security Governor of Llandysul 13 164 Swansea Prison and Tarul Clement – Deputy Where I can swim in a lagoon of blue, Briton Ferry Town 13 155 Head of Residential Units. And can get my hubby to clean the loo. Cimla 12 152 WHAT A COINCIDENCE HUGH “THE CHANGING FACE OF THE PRISON But instead of this what do I have? WILLIAMS SERVICE” Landore 12 102 There is no one else to clean the lav. December – No meeting – Speaker’s Forum Pwll 12 81 My dog is a mongrel and he’s got fleas, th will recommence in January . Baglan 12 40 On December 5 1667 a ship sank in the My kids don’t know even how to say please. straits of Dover. The only survivor was The wrinkles are here and so is the grey, For further information contact either noted to be a Hugh Williams. On December I’m getting older, it should be that way. Monro Walters (01554 778806) or KNITTING GROUP
5th 1767, another ship sank in the same Rev Paul Davies (01554 832936) My home is untidy and it’s full of dust, adies, would you like to waters. 127 lost their lives, and the only The car’s not too bad, apart from the rust. L survivor was Hugh Williams. On August 8 th Ray Gravell Charitable Trust join a Knitting Group newly And as for an exotic holiday – 1820, a picnic boat capsized on the I might get to Burry Port for a day! Funds raised by the previous “Speaker’s formed in Pwll? It is held on Monday Thames. There was one survivor – Hugh Forum 2010/11” were donated to the Ray evenings (not Bank Holidays) in The Williams. On July 10 th 1940, a British So I guess the idyll will never be, Gravell Charitable Trust organisation at a Colliers Arms at 7.00pm. All are welcome, trawler was destroyed by a German mine. I’ll consign myself to reality. function at the Stradey Park Hotel on Tuesday come along with your projects, knitting, th Only two men survived, one man and his When all’s said and done, like it or not, 17 May. Our sincere thanks to all who crochet etc or just turn up for a chat! nephew – both were called Hugh Williams. It is rather precious – it’s the life that I’ve got. contributed towards such a good cause. Diolch o galon I bawb. There is help at hand for anyone wishing to learn. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat Maldwyn commented: "I would like them to ELEPHANT ROBBERY lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer say I was a wonderful teacher and servant heart attacks than the British or of God who made a huge difference to An excited jeweller Americans. people's lives." called the police Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's Dai said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's station to report a speaking English that kills you. moving!" robbery.
"You'll never believe
SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed Ar ol bron unarddeg o flynyddoedd o up to my store, the doors opened. Out If at first you don't succeed, then you wasanaeth , penderfynnodd y Gweinidog Y Over the years, parents and comes these robbers and they lead an didn't do it right! Parchedig Mrs Carys Awen Jones BA BTh teachers have been elephant out of the truck. The elephant then ymddeol o'i swydd yn y capel uchod, a shocked and amused by breaks through my plate glass window, wnaeth ei phregeth olaf ar Ddydd Sul y pupils’ exam howlers. Here sticks his trunk in, sucks up all the jewellry. 13eg o Fawrth 2011. we conclude our series with Then they lead the elephant back into the some more: ALL YOU NEED TO Daeth i Fethlehem ar y 25ain o Orffennaf truck. The robbers close the truck doors KNOW ABOUT LIFE 2001 o Benrhyncoch, ac roedd y Cwrdd and the truck pulled away." SCHOOL DAYS YOU CAN LEARN Sefydlu o dan ofal Y Parchedig Peter The desk sergeant said, "Could you tell me, FROM A COW Thomas BA BTh, Llywydd Undeb ◊ We had longer holidays than usual this year for identification purposes, whether it was Bedyddwyr Cymru. because the school was closed for * Wake up in a happy altercations. an Indian elephant or an African elephant?" mooo-d. Ymgartrefodd yn Heol Felinfoel, gyda'i gwr ◊ All teachers at our school are certified. "What's the difference?" asked the jeweller. a dau fab. * Don't cry over spilled "Well," said the sergeant, "an African Yn ystod ei gyrfa ym Methlehem, roedd yn ◊ The headmaster caned me only on rear milk. elephant has great big ears and an Indian gyfrifol am ddechrau Ysgol Sul,ac felly fel occasions. elephant has little ears. So which kind of * When chewing your cud, remember, there rhan o'r gwasanaeth Saesneg, ar Ddydd ◊ Our school is ventilated by hot currants. elephant was used in the robbery?" is no fat, no calories, no cholesterol and no Sul 10fed o Orffennaf 2011, trosglwythodd taste! y plant sef Lucy, Maddy a'r bechgyn siec, "How should I know? I couldn't see his tusw o flodau, a copi o lyfr Huw Edwards ears," said the jeweller. "He had a stocking * The grass is greener on the other side of Capeli Llanelli i Mrs Jones yn POPULATIONS over his head." the fence. cydnabyddiaeth o'i gwaith dros y ddeng * Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. mlynedd ddiwetha. Estimated populations at end of 2010
Ar hyn o bryd mae'n gweinidogaethu fel HEALTHY * Seize every opportunity and milk it for all mae angen yn y capeli lleol. Llanelli 47206 EATING it's worth!
Dymuna Swyddogion ac aelodau Carmarthen 15244 * It's better to be seen and not herd. Ammanford 12755 Bethlehem iechyd ac hapusrwydd iddi hi a'r The Japanese eat * Honour thy fodder and thy mother and all teulu, a phob llwyddiant nawr ac yn y Burry Port 7860 very little fat and have fewer heart attacks your udder relatives. dyfodol. Cross Hands 4549 than the British or Americans. . * Never take any bull from anybody. THREE FRIENDS Tumble 4040 On the other hand, the French eat a lot of * Stepping on cow pies brings good luck. Kidwelly 2721 fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than Three friends from the local Llandybie 2664 the British or Americans. * Black and white is always an appropriate chapel were asked, "When The Japanese drink very little red wine and fashion statement. you're in your coffin, and Pontyberem 2037 suffer fewer heart attacks than the British friends and congregation are mourning over Llandeilo 1750 * Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings or Americans. every day you, what would you like them to say?" Newcastle Emlyn 1719 The Italians drink excessive amounts of Mervyn said: "I would like them to say I was Trimsaran 1627 red wine and also suffer fewer heart a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, I don't have an attitude problem. You St Clears 1605 attacks than the British or Americans. and a great family man." have a perception problem. TALES FROM THE not feed out of our hands. One of the doves FARMYARD has laid two eggs; we await the outcome PWLL OF YESTERYEAR with eager anticipation. Our buff Orpington Comings and goings chick is growing quickly and spends a great deal of time out of doors. A second chick, called a ‘Partridge Orpington’ has hatched, First of all, it’s but is still kept in the brooder for most of the confession time! I admit it; in my former life time. I‘ve purchased Indian runner duck I was involved in education. All right. I eggs, which are in the incubator at present. worked in a school – we can’t all be perfect! Indian runner ducks walk at a more or less If you insist I was a teacher, sorry! Alright, forty five degree angle, if you’ve been to the let’s get down to the nitty gritty – please Royal Welsh you might well have seen forgive me – I was a (it pains me to admit them being corralled by a sheep dog. it.) HEADTEACHER!!! After an intensive Planting has proceeded in the front garden course of medication, psychotherapy with many spring bulbs such as crocuses aromatherapy etc. experts in the human and irises, tall grasses and alliums. mind have declared me .to be ninety nine per cent cured. I do have the odd We must be gluttons for punishment as regressive episode such as asking Dianne we’ve started dismantling our kitchen in to wear her school uniform some evenings, readiness for a new one. We shall be and I do keep my headmaster’s cane in the putting the kitchen utensils, herbs and wardrobe (but that’s enough about my spices, plates, tins of food etc. into boxes. personal life). We also have registration So, for the foreseeable future, our home is once a week which might go something like Chaosland this: -
Rufus the cockerel – “Here Sir” I drink to make other people interesting. The white doves – “Coo coo here Sir”
Jack and Spot the dogs – “Woof woof here Sir” TOUCHDOWN Dianne – “present my lord”
Debbie Evans – “here Sir” A British Airways pilot was over flying Aden, “You were absent yesterday Debbie – can you explain why?” and saw an Aeroflot freighter climbing out. “Sorry Sir, I had a boil on my bum.” Heavily accented voice on frequency: "Hey,
“Well Debbie, Miss Davies and I will look English, you used to have Aden?" into it later today. John Evans stop picking BA: "Yes, we did. Why?" "Ve have had to overnight there, and you can have it back!" your nose!”
“Oh children – due to new health and safety A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near regulations all water drunk on school where a small plane was waiting to take off. premises must be passed by the head The private pilot got a little nervous teacher.” because the military plane was closer than “Yes Sir!” normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. Before the tower There has been a great deal of activity on could reply, a voice came over the radio as the animal front. The young whiter than the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, white (just like the Persil advert) doves will "I'm going to eat you." PWLL FOOTBALL IRISH SAUSAGE LEMMINGS the 12th century, about 400 years after CLUB English began to take form. “She” probably Everyone seems to be derived from the Old English feminine How they finished the in such a hurry to Lemming suicide is “seo”, the Viking word for feminine 2010/11 season. scream 'racism' these fiction. Contrary to reference. days. popular belief, lemmings do not periodically hurl themselves off of cliffs and into the A customer asked, "In what aisle could I Premier Division P W D L GD Pts sea. Cyclical explosions in population do THE OXFORD COMMA find the Irish sausage?" occasionally induce lemmings to attempt to Seaside 22 16 5 1 42 53 The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" migrate to areas of lesser population The 'Oxford comma' is an optional comma
Evans & Williams 22 16 3 3 27 51 density. When such a migration occurs, before the word 'and' at the end of a list: The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. Loughor Rovers 22 11 3 8 24 36 some lemmings die by falling over cliffs or But let me ask you something. We sell books, videos, and magazines.
Trallwm 22 11 3 8 6 36 drowning in lakes or rivers. These deaths It's known as the Oxford comma because it If I had asked for Italian sausage, would are not deliberate "suicide" attempts, * Bwlch Rangers 22 10 2 10 6 31 you ask me if I was Italian? however, but accidental deaths resulting was traditionally used by printers, readers, Pengelli 22 8 6 8 -1 30 from the lemmings' venturing into unfamiliar and editors at Oxford University Press. Not Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, Gorseinon 22 8 5 9 -20 29 territories and being crowded and pushed all writers and publishers use it, but it can would you ask me if I was German? clarify the meaning of a sentence when the Johnstown 22 7 2 13 -19 23 over dangerous ledges. In fact, when the Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you competition for food, space, or mates items in a list are not single words:
Dafen 22 6 4 12 -1 22 ask me if I was Jewish? becomes too intense, lemmings are much These items are available in black and
Burry Port 22 6 4 12 -15 22 Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask more likely to kill each other than to kill white, red and yellow, and blue and green.
Camford 22 6 3 13 -18 21 themselves. if I was Mexican? The Oxford comma is also known as the
Pwll 22 5 4 13 -31 19 Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you Disney's White Wilderness was filmed in 'serial comma'. ask if I was Polish?" Alberta, Canada, which is not a native habitat for lemmings and has no outlet to Reserve Division 2 P W D L GD Pts The assistant says, "No, I probably If you love a person let them go. If they the sea. Lemmings were imported for use don't come back they weren't worth it. Johnstown 22 16 2 4 35 50 wouldn't." in the film, purchased from Inuit children by
Burry Port 22 16 1 5 49 49 The guy says, "Well then, just because I the filmmakers. The Arctic rodents were
placed on a snow-covered turntable and Tumble 22 16 0 6 31 48 asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?" filmed from various angles to produce a NEWS OF THE WEIRD Felinfoel 22 13 3 6 23 42 "migration" sequence; afterwards, the The assistant replied, "Because you're in Wellfield 22 11 3 8 11 36 helpless creatures were transported to a Jason Robinson, 22, was arrested at a Halfords." cliff overlooking a river and herded into the * Gorseinon 22 9 1 12 1 26 Burger King restaurant in America after water and to their death. White Wilderness robbing the manager at gunpoint. As the * Pontardulais 22 8 3 11 0 25 does not depict an actual lemming manager handed over the day's proceeds, migration - at no time are more than a few Pwll 22 7 4 11 -26 25 Robinson set his gun down on a counter to ADVERTSING BLOOMERS! dozen lemmings ever shown on the screen Abergwili 22 7 2 13 -13 23 grab the money. Not surprisingly, the at once. The entire sequence was faked manager picked up the gun and shot * West End United 22 7 2 13 -30 20 using a handful of lemmings deceptively Ford's Pinto didn't do well in Brazil. Pinto Robinson. Llandeilo 22 4 5 13 -31 17 photographed to create the illusion of a is Brazilian slang for "male genitals". Ford 22 large herd of migrating. Dafen A 3 4 15 -50 13 renamed the car the Corcel, which means Donald Wolfe, 55, was charged with
* = Points deducted horse or steed. public drunkenness in March in
SHE Pennsylvania after neighbours spotted him Volkswagen named the sedan version of giving, as he described it, mouth-to-mouth Golf the Jetta. However, the letter "J" Before the year 1000, the word “she” did resuscitation to a road kill possum. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. doesn't exist in the Italian alphabet, so not exist in the English language. The Jetta is pronounced "Ietta", which means singular female reference was the word
Misfortune... “heo”, which also was the plural of all Nothing improves with age. genders. The word “she” appeared only in Nevill Street - commemorates the Nevill THE FIRING RANGE THE NUMBER EIGHT SOME LLANELLI STREETS family. A communication The number 8 is Andrew Street - Prendergast Street - commemorates the technician drafted by the generally considered to be commemorates family estates at Prendergast, West Wales army was at a firing range. an auspicious number by Andrew Cowell. where the Stepney family originate from. At the range, he was given numerologists. The square of any odd His son became some instruction, a rifle Raby Street - commemorates Alexander number, less one, is always a multiple of 8, Sir John Stepney and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the Cowell Stepney Raby, the Llanelli industrialist. for example: target. The report came from the target Salamanaca Road- ( Renamed Station area that all attempts had completely 3 x 3 = 9 - 1 = 8 which is (8 x 1) Annesley Street - Road) – commemorates the Battle of missed the target. 5 x 5 = 25 - 1 = 24 which is (8 × 3) commemorates the first wife of the above named Sir John Salamanca. (Peninsula War) 7 x 7 = 49 - 1 = 48 which is (8 × 6) The technician looked at his weapon, and 9 x 9 = 81 - 1 = 80 which is (8 x 10) Stepney Cowell Stepney. His first wife was Stafford Street - Commemorates the then at the target. He looked at the weapon Mary Anne Annesley the daughter of second child of Sir Edward Stafford again, and then at the target again. He then This rule is true regardless of which two Robert Annesley. Stepney - named Stafford Stepney Howard. put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel odd numbers you square. and squeezed the trigger with his other Coldstream Street - John Stepney Stepney Street - Commemorates the hand. The end of his finger was blown off, Cowell, was an Ensign in the Coldstream influential Stepney family. FOUR PEOPLE Guards and fought in the Iberian Peninsular whereupon he yelled toward the target Vaughan Street - named after the area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble War of 1808-14 O nce upon a time, there Vaughan family who had a profound must be at your end!" Coleshill Terrace - Andrew Cowell, father were four people named influence on Llanelli of John Cowell Stepney was from Coleshill, Everybody, Somebody, a town in Buckinghamshire. Vittoria Road - (Renamed Heol Siloh) - Nobody, and Anybody. commemorates the Battle of Vittoria in TOUCHDOWN Cowell Street - commemorates the Cowell When there was an 1813. (Peninsula War) family. A British Airways 737 important job to be done, Everybody was Waterloo Street - commemorated the touched down at sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody Glenalla Road - commemorates the battle of Waterloo in Flanders in 1815 Frankfurt. The tower could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Glenalla estate, County Donegal.
controller, obviously in Nobody did it, Everybody got angry Inkerman Street - James Charles Murray frivolous mood, transmitted: "Nice landing because it was Everybody's job. Everybody DID YOU KNOW Cowell was killed in action in the Crimea Captain, but a little left of the centre-line, I thought that Somebody would do it, but War. He is buried on a hillside near The Llanelli stocks, think." Quick as a flash, the BA Captain Nobody realised that Nobody would do it. Sebastopol. Inkerman Street was named in where offenders were replied in a cool English accent: "Roger So it ended up that Everybody blamed his memory. Frankfurt Tower. Perfectly correct. I am a Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody held in a seated position little to the left of the centre-line. And my could have done in the first place! John Street - named after the benevolent with their ankles locked between two co-pilot is a little to the right of it." Sir John Cowell Stepney. At Christmas time boards, were located just to the right of St he would give tobacco to the poor men of Elli Parish Church Lych Gate. ADVERTSING BLOOMERS! Llanelly and food to the children and Qantas pilot to his co-pilot landing at women. Sydney, (forgetting the cabin intercom was COMPUTERS Marged Street - named after the first child live): "What I need now is an ice cold beer During its 1994 launch campaign, the and a hot shiela" of Sir Edward Stafford Howard ver notice how fast Windows runs? telecom company Orange had to change its E Stewardess hurries forward lest worse advertisements in Northern Ireland. "The Mina Street - commemorates the name of Neither did I. befalls. future's bright … the future's Orange." The a Spanish guerilla leader who fought with Chorus from the passengers "Hey, you Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. campaign is an advertising legend. Britain against the French in Peninsula forgot the beer!" However, in the North the term Orange War. As a computer, I find your faith in
suggests the Orange Order. The implied Murray Street - named after Euphemia technology amusing. message that the future is bright, hence the If everything seems to be going well, Jemima Murray the second wife of John future is Protestant, loyalist... didn't sit well Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a you have obviously overlooked Stepney Cowell. with the Catholic Irish population. something. beautiful partner, and you can keep the THE MAGIC OF NUMBERS golf clubs and the fresh air. (Jack Benny) ANGLO SAXON BRITAINS FIRST ROAD concerned, happy campers you will always be. MONTHS ACCIDENT
You do the policy; I'll do the politics. Bridget Driscoll (died 17 August 1896, aged Yet more quotes from the American Politician Tobacco exports should be expanded 44 years) was the first pedestrian victim of aggressively because Americans are January Wolf monath an automobile accident in the United Dan Quayle… smoking less.
February Sol monath Kingdom. As she and her teenage daughter March Hlyd monath crossed the grounds of the Crystal Palace in We will invest in our people, quality Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are April Eostre monath London, an automobile that was being used education, job opportunity, family, not racists. May Tri-Milchi neighbourhood, and yes, a thing we call to give demonstration rides struck her. One Votes are like trees, if you are trying to June Sera monath America. witness described the car as travelling at build a forest. If you have more trees than July Maed monath "reckless paces, in fact, like a fire engine". We will move forward, we will move you have forests, then at that point the
August Weod monath upward, and yes, we will move onward. pollsters will probably say you will win. Although the car's maximum speed was September Gerst monath October Wyn monath 8 miles per hour (13 km/h) it had been We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not We are ready for any unforeseen event that November Wind Monath limited deliberately to 4 miles per hour care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not occur.
December Yule Monath (6.4 km/h), the speed at which the driver may or may not have made. claimed to have been travelling. His We have a firm commitment to NATO; we We're going to have the best-educated are a part of NATO. We have a firm passenger alleged he modified the engine American people in the world. commitment to Europe. We are a part of to allow the car to go faster, but another Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, Europe. taxicab driver examined the car and said it was incapable of exceeding 4.5 miles per and my fellow astronauts. We have to do more than just elect a new
hour because of a low-speed engine belt. President if we truly want to change this What a terrible thing to have lost one's The accident happened just a few weeks mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true country. 23 rd Sept Autumn Equinox th after a new Act of Parliament had increased that is. We should develop anti-satellite weapons 11 Oct Apple Day th the speed limit for cars to 14 miles per hour because we could not have prevailed 11 Oct Trafalgar Day What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or th from 2 miles per hour in towns and 4 miles not to have a mind is being very wasteful. without them in 'Red Storm Rising'. 27 Oct Punky Night th per hour in the countryside. 30 Oct BST Ends How true that is. We shouldn't have to be burdened with all st 31 Oct Hallowe’en The jury returned a verdict of "accidental What you guys want, I'm for. the technicalities that come up from time to st 1 Nov All Saints Day death." No prosecution was made; the time with shrewd, smart lawyers 2nd Nov All Souls Day coroner said he hoped "such a thing would When I have been asked during these last interpreting what the laws or what the 4th Nov Mischief Night never happen again." weeks who caused the riots and the killing Constitution may or may not say. th in L.A., my answer has been direct and 5 Nov Bonfire Night The Royal Society for the Prevention of th simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The The Holocaust was an obscene period in 11 Nov Armistice Day Accidents has estimated that 550,000 th rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for our nation's history. I mean in this century's 13 Nov Remembrance Sunday people have been killed on UK roads since th the killings? The killers are to blame. history. But we all lived in this century. I 20 Nov Stir-up-Sunday then. th didn't live in this century. 27 Nov Advent Sunday When I talked to him on the phone 30 th Nov St Andrew’s Day The loss of life will be irreplaceable. yesterday. I called him George rather than The other day the President said, I know Mr. Vice President. But, in public, it's Mr. DID YOU KNOW you've had some rough times, and I want to LOCAL EVENTS DATES Vice President, because that is who he is. do something that will show the nation what th 03 - 04 Sept Orchid Festival After the 1745 When you make as many speeches and faith that I have in you, in your maturity and th th 05 – 11 Sept Ramblers Valley Walks rebellion, the British you talk as much as I do and you get away sense of responsibility. He paused, then 10th Sept Carmarthen Street Market Government made it from the text, it's always a possibility to get said, would you like a puppy? th 18 Sept Dogs Day Out illegal for Scotsmen to a few words tangled here and there.
18 th Sept Wales’ Big Paintball Game wear tartan kilts. The law continued until This election is about who's going to be the th You all look like happy campers to me. next President of the United States! 25 Sept Antiques & Flee Market 1832. Happy campers you are, happy campers nd 02 Oct 1940’s Day (Gwili Railway) you have been, and, as far as I am This President is going to lead us out of this Gorillas can’t swim. recovery.