Nominated for Guardian and NUS Student Newspaper of the Year 2006 Spring Term Week Six Tuesday 13 February 07 www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Est. 1964 YORK’S SEX TRADE UNCOVERED In Muse M8-M10

Nouse’s open letter unites 1200 voices in a single demand: Bring back our porters NOUSE

13th February 2007

To Brian Cantor,

The current situation concerning the porters at the University of York is unaccept- able. This letter seeks to unify the voices of students, academics, staff and support- ers into one single message which carries the full force of our numbers and stand- ings.

We recognise the inherent value of our porters as individuals and for the vital role they play within the University as a cornerstone of the collegiate system. Porters' knowledge of the habits and needs of students, academics and staff; their contribu- tion to security and welfare and the vital administrative services they provide with- in colleges make them invaluable to the life of the University. Thus, we firmly believe that the closure of porters lodges in either the short or the long-term is dam- aging to all aspects of University life; academic, residential and commercial.

On the strength of this conviction, we demand a concrete assurance from the Directorate of Facilities Management that the situation concerning porters will be restored to its state as of October 2006 by a pre-specified date. Anything short of such an assurance, and any attempt to settle for an ongoing reduction of service, is unacceptable.

The current situation demands that all available time and energy be devoted to seeking a swift resolution. However, once full levels of service have been restored, an investigation into the causes of the lodge closures must take place in order to avoid the recurrence of this situation. Should such an inquiry reveal shortcomings on the part of any individual or organisation, then that individual or organisation must be held accountable.

This message is a singular and unified expression of will.

Signed by academics, staff, students and alumni >> 4-5 Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007

Student trapped in Amnesty International Society flooding Dusk toilet DUSK BAR WAS FLOODED on 31 January after a University of York stu- dent who got stuck in the bar toilets was stage Palestinian ‘check-point’ asked by staff to climb out through the window. This damaged the cistern and By Anjli Raval caused water to burst from the exposed pipes. The student was rescued from NEWS CORRESPONDENT the toilet 30 minutes later when bar staff kicked the door down, despite hav- THE UNIVERSITY of ing refused to do so at the start of the York's Amnesty event. The student involved has not International Society been charged for the damage. Dusk staged a demonstration on management has refused to comment Saturday 3 February in on the event. Parliament Square to raise awareness of the existing situation in Palestine. JCR budgets decided A group of students ON MONDAY 5 FEBRUARY the distri- led by Nina Gora, Co-Chair bution of the remaining fund provided of Amnesty International by the University for its Junior Common Society, together with the Room Committees was decided by Palestine Solidarity YUSU Finance Committee. The total Campaign (PSC), staged a monetary amount available for colle- 'checkpoint' aiming to alert giate bids for 2007 was £2,177, and bids the people of York to the for this year totalled £6,746.84. Alcuin problems in the occupied received the most money, claiming territories of the West £887.73 of the available total, £740 of Bank. The ‘checkpoint’ which is allocated to the provision of a imitates a system of con- marquee. Goodricke College received crete walls and wire fenc- £323.98 to be assigned to various caus- ing scattered throughout es, including the provision of a new the West Bank to curtail Actors simulated the alleged brutality of Israeli soldiers at the checkpoints. Photo: Ally Carmichael karaoke machine and publicity for the movement of Goodricke events. James and Langwith Palestinians. An attending member military costumes, armed person. The two ‘soldiers’ join in. Gora said, "this is Colleges receieved £163.79 and £122.50 Florence Perrett, a of the PSC said, "in the with imitation guns, stood simulated the alleged bru- an everyday reality for respectively. £679 was split equally third year student said: "I West, we have no idea; in front of the barrier pos- tality of Israeli soldiers at Palestinians. In the West between the sports rep teams of all feel very passionately normal Palestinians can- ing as Israeli soldiers. times by making people we completely take free- seven colleges. about the situation in not go to school, the shops, Members of the group wait for long periods with dom of movement for Palestine. People do not even go to hospital to have queued up in a line and their hands in the air, or on granted. The international know enough to do some- a baby because of these then walked up to the pair, the floor with their hands boycott is on the oppressed UGM motions fail again thing about it, and this checkpoints." who asked them for their behind them. The public not the oppressor, which is visualises it for the public." Two campaigners in permit and searched every were also encouraged to absolutely ridiculous." ON MONDAY 30 JANUARY 13 motions were proposed at the UGM. All of these failed to meet the threshold of numbers needed to ratify them as Archbishop speaks out against Reid YUSU policy, with the exception of the motion regarding Portering. Topics By Raf Sanchez He said "If you detain peo- limit of 28 days. dealing with a unique distract the public from included ending the lack of ‘real’ abor- NEWS EDITOR ple, you must have good The comments come threat in this country and troubling acts of the tion on demand, proposed by Women’s enough reason for detain- in the wake of raids by it is not relevant to Idi Government. Officer Erin McAlister, the scrapping of THE ARCHBISHOP of ing them and have a West Midlands Police that Amin's Uganda.” During the interview Top-up Fees, proposed by Grace York has spoken out chance for there being a resulted in the arrest and However, the the Archbishop also urged Fletcher-Hall, and the ending of dis- against the Government successful prosecution... detention of nine people Archbishop’s views have people moving to the UK to crimination based on age, race, gender for bringing Britain “close [the Home Secretary] has in connection with a plot received support in some accept and “really cherish or sexuality when donating blood, again to a police state.” not produced the evidence to kidnap and murder a quarters. Lord Ahmed the traditions that are here.” proposed by Grace Fletcher-Hall. These Speaking on ITV that shows that in 90 days Muslim soldier. expressed similar views by This is not the first stances on emotive issues have failed to News on 5 February, the you're capable of getting The Archbishop has saying that “There is fear time the Archbishop has become YUSU policy due to a lack of Rt. Rev John Sentamu somebody prosecuted.” been criticised by Labour in the community. The taken a public political the required turnout, calling into ques- compared Government The Home Secretary John MP Shahid Malik who British public is genuinely stance. During the summer tion the validity of UGM meetings. plans for 90 day deten- Reid is currently looking claimed the comparison to frightened about what is he camped out in the York tions of terror suspects to to make a fresh attempt to Uganda in the 1970s was happening.” He went on to Minster for a week in Reporting by Rachel Guest, measures in place in increase the detention “churlish and rather silly.” say that anti-terrorist protest of the Israel- Hannah O’Shea, Catherine Moore Uganda under Idi Amin. period from its current He went on to say “We are action was merely used to Lebanon War. and Jenny O’Mahony

MANAGING DIRECTORS: FEATURES EDITOR: CARTOONISTS: February 13 2007 Jonathan McCarthy Jo Shelley Chris Turner www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Laura Nicol Sam Waddington In this edition FEATURES DEPUTY: Grimston House (V/X/010) SUBEDITORS: Venetia Rainey B & R EDITORS: News 1-9 Vanbrugh College Niamh Walsh Vicky Hallam Harriet Wray ARTS EDITORS: Lucy Peden University of York Amy Milka Comment 10-12 Heslington NEWS EDITOR: Amy Scott B & R DEPUTIES: York Raf Sanchez Lauren Menzies Letters 13 ARTS DEPUTY: YO10 5DD NEWS DEPUTIES: Sarah Jeffries SPORTS EDITOR: Politics 14-16 Email: [email protected] Milda Sabunaite Simon Lickley Nicky Woolf MUSIC EDITOR: Sport EDITOR: Sara Sayeed WEB EDITOR: 17-20 Heidi Blake STAFF REPORTERS: Emma Gawen Hannah O’Shea MUSIC DEPUTY: DEPUTY EDITORS: Alex Stevens Ben Rackstraw WEB DEPUTY: Derek Acorah M4 Jenny O’Mahony Natasha Woodward This edition of Muse, your essential sup- Daniel Whitehead POLITICS EDITOR: FILM EDITOR: Jimmy Carr M7 Claire Yeo Dave Coates PHOTO EDITOR: plement, features this year’s talent in the MUSE EDITOR: Georgi Mabee Prostitution in York M8 Battle of the Bands heats, as well as an Ellen Carpenter POLITICS DEPUTY: FILM DEPUTY: Alberto Furlan James Fanning PRODUCTION MANAGER: in-depth look at the sex-industry in The opinions expressed in Battle of the Bands M12 Toby Green COMMENT EDITOR: LAST WORD EDITOR: York, a cynic’s guide to Valentine’s Day Sam Thomas Andreas Masoura this publication are not Listings M24 and an exclusive interview with Derek ADVERTISING MANAGER: necessarily those of the Chris Cowan COMMENT DEPUTY: LISTINGS EDITOR: editors,writers,or advertisers Acorah, the UK’s leading ‘spirit medium’. Sam Whittaker Steph Dyson Emma Fite Wassilak NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps News 3 Derwent student hospitalised following violent attack in bar

By Raf Sanchez Wiggins was waiting for his The University is pursuing NEWS EDITOR friends when the attackers its own internal investigation emerged from the bar, only into the attack. A member of A STUDENT WAS hospi- to knock him to the floor and the bar staff working during talised following a violent kick him repeatedly in the the event has given physical attack in Derwent Bar on head. descriptions of the attackers. Saturday after the screening They further told how, However, the investiga- of the Scotland-Wales rugby when hearing the commo- tion has been complicated by match. The student, Chris tion outside, students in the the fact that the lights in the Wiggins, was left bleeding bar rushed out and again dining area were switched off from the head after being set separated the fighting. One during the match, severely upon by four assailants. student who had been limiting the clarity of the Wiggins said that before involved in breaking up both existing CCTV footage. The the attack he had been fights commented that it was fact that the attack occurred “cheering for Scotland” and during the second attack after the match had ended, that “there was a bit of a ban- that “most of the damage as many people were leaving ter going around, but it was- was done.” the bar, has further hindered n’t really aimed at anyone.” Wiggins was then taken attempts to identify the The attackers, who are into the Derwent JCR to assailants through surveil- thought to be fellow stu- wait for security to arrive. lance equipment. dents, were sitting a few The attackers returned to the Speaking after the tables in front of Wiggins JCR a number of times in an attack, one student said that during the match, and attempt to continue the it was difficult to break up cheering for Wales. Another attack. the fight without the student present at the time Will Marle, a student “authority of a porter on- said he heard them shouting who helped Wiggins into the hand” and that had a porter “get that jock of a c***” JCR, said that he and others been present it “might have before getting up to leave fol- “had to basically guard the helped stop the situation in lowing Wales' 21-9 defeat. door to keep them out.” the first place.” Wiggins claims that “on the Former JCR Chair Dave Bar staff called security way out they turned over the Jones, who was involved in as soon as the fight broke out table, I said something and breaking up the fighting said and were told that a security then they started to hit me.” it was “at least 15 minutes” response would be The fighting in the din- before security guards mobilised. However, staff ing hall section of the bar reached the college, saying claim that when they called was quickly broken up by “it was really shocking how again to see how much other students, many of long they took.” longer they would have to whom were still wearing When the security wait, they were unable to get Dalmatian outfits from the guards arrived, they called through. RAG parade which had an ambulance to take The porters at Langwith taken place earlier in the day. Wiggins to York District and Goodricke were also Attempting to calm the situ- Hosptial, where health called to the scene of the ation, they moved Wiggins checks were performed. attack, forcing them to close out of the bar and into the Wiggins does not plan their lodges, leaving the hallway. to press charges, saying “I main campus without any According to witnesses, just want to forget about it.” open porters’ lodges. First year Chris Wiggins was attacked by four men in Derwent Bar. Photo: Milda Sabunaite BNP officer verbally abuses students

By Jamie Merrill photos would be appearing for the burqa to be banned to Huseyni, they said: “This NEWS CORRESPONDENT on Redwatch. There is no and immigration from type of behaviour will not be place in Britain for any party Muslim countries to be halt- tolerated by the SU, which SEVERAL UNIVERSITY of that relies on tactics of ed. Ben Drake, head of the takes discrimination against York students have allegedly intimidation.” York Unite Against Fascism students on any grounds been targeted and threat- Huseyni said: “Being city branch, said “I suspect very seriously.” Nouse ened by a British National verbally abused doesn't they are targeting Hull Road attempted to contact Party official amidst con- make you feel good, but I'm because the mosque is near- Dawson, but received no cerns about increasing BNP not going to get out of this by, but if they think people response. However, BNP activity in York. country because of a few in the area have got a prob- National Press Officer Phil Kate Challender, chair nutcases.” He added: “It's lem with the mosque, they Edwards said “I shouldn't of anti-fascism society Unity, because I'm a Muslim. If I are mistaken.” He added that have thought he'd say that. and Ogtay Huseyni, chair of didn't have a beard, he Hull Road Ward has a large Ian Dawson is a good lad.” the Islamic Society, have wouldn't have said anything. student population and that Edwards criticised stu- both alleged they were pho- It's because I'm outwardly the BNP is anti-student: dent anti-BNP campaigners, tographed and threatened showing my religion”. Anti- “They are a fascist party and saying “Most of them are by Ian Dawson, the York- BNP campaigners have been as such they view students as brainwashed. Some people based BNP National Group leafleting in response to enemies”. are born like that - many of Support Officer, who told increased BNP activity in YUSU Racial Equality them are actually alien peo- them their photographs York students were verbally abused while leafleting the run-up to the local coun- Officers Caren Onanda and ple to Britain”. Edwards would be placed on the far- out of my f***ing country” as anti-BNP leaflets in Acomb - cil elections in May. The Bukky Ojo have condemned denied the BNP was a racist right website Redwatch, he distributed anti-BNP exercising the right to free- BNP have leafleted the the BNP, saying “It's obvi- party, but said “Islam is a which has a a history of leafleting by students in dom of speech which the whole of Hull Road, and ously a threat that the BNP threat to Britain” and com- incitement to violence. Acomb on Saturday January BNP claim to defend - we Acomb Wards and hold a have been campaigning in pared YUSU officials to the Huseyni has also alleged 20. Challender said of the were photographed by regular stall in Acomb. York.” Of the comments “totalitarian Marxists of the that Dawson told him to “get incident, “Whilst giving out Dawson and told that our BNP leaflets have called allegedly made by Dawson Soviet Union”. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007

List of signatories to Nouse open letter Alumni and friends of the Dr. Roger MacGinty - senior lec- Communications Officer on Pressure University turer, Politics behalf of YUSU 2006-07 Micky Armstrong - YUSU Tony Benn - ex-MP Kate Fisher - Masters student, President 2005-06 Simon Stephens - York alumnus History of Art James Alexander - YUSU and playwright Dr. Stamatoula Panagakou - lec- turer, Politics President 2004-05 protests Chris Copland - senior tutor, Chris Jones - YUSU President Christine English as a Foreign 2003-04 By Raf Sanchez Batten, Head of Security. It Hamilton - Language Jennifer Winter - GSA President stated that “[the 2006-07 NEWS EDITOR Alumnus Professor Andrew Monk - University's] reputation and lecturer, Psychology John Rose - YUSU Education attractiveness to potential and media Dr. Mary Garrison - lecturer, and Welfare Officer 2004-05 THE VOLUME of protest students risk being dam- personality Stuart Leslie - AU President over the closure of porters' aged by your proposals”. History lodges has risen dramatical- They go on to say it is “hard Dr. Margaret Chard - lectur- 2004-05 ly in recent weeks. An open to believe that that if it [the ‘I remember what the porters er, Politics Verity Radley - YUSU Services letter circulated by Nouse closure] goes ahead it will did for me, so I’m happy to Dr. Robin Wooffitt - lecturer, Officer 2004-05 has collected over 1,200 sig- not be used as an argument Sociology Neil Barnes - YUSU Education natures from students, aca- to show that the College sign and wish the best of luck’ and Welfare Officer 2004-06 demics, support staff, and Receptions are not needed Professor David Howell - lec- prominent supporters of and can be closed.” turer, Politics the University. In a letter dated College JCRC Chairs The letter demands February 12, Professor Supporting Bodies Departmental Jamie Tyler - Derwent JCRC that management provide a Simon Parker and 52 signa- Gemma Tumelty - President, “concrete assurance” that tories told Batten as well as Chair National Union of Students Administrators portering services will be Keith Lilley, Director of Louis Wihl - Alcuin JCRC Chair Brendan Barber - General Bill Soden - Academic restored by a “pre-specified Facilities Management, that Won Youn - Langwith JCRC date” as well calling for “an they were “alarmed and dis- Secretary, Trades Union Congress Programme Manager, English Chair investigation into the caus- mayed” at the closure of col- Dave Prentis - General Secretary, Language Teaching Alexandra Clark - James JCRC es of lodge closures.” The lege porter’s lodges. In a sec- UNISON Marysia Koc - Departmental letter is the first time an ond letter they told manage- Chair Colin Smith - Student RESPECT Administrator, Computer explicit demand for ment: “This is not a situa- and Socialist Worker Sciences accountability from man- tion that can continue for Kim Sneddon - Departmental agement has been made, very long without damaging The Socialist Party Ryan saying “should such an the reputation of the Administrator, Economics Rob Owen - RESPECT general Bennett - inquiry reveal shortcomings University of York as a first secretary, Manchester Students’ Mary Brooks - Undergraduate on the part of any individ- class institution”. Union Administrator, Economics Vanbrugh ual or organisation then Rich Croker, YUSU Ben Matthews - Editor, York Karen Prescott - College JCRC that individual or organisa- President, has taken a per- Undergraduate Administrator, tion must be held account- sonal stand on the porters Vision Chair able”. situation, refusing to repre- Heidi Blake - Editor, Nouse Politics The message has been sent the University at Open Andrew Wilkinson - ‘So many staff and students supported by the majority Days and other events in Heads of Departments and Departmental Administrator, of College Provosts and protest at the closure of col- really value the service that JCRC Chairs as well as lege lodges. Lecturers History of Art Valerie Cresswell - General the porters provide’ YUSU. The letter has also On 8 February a Professor Derek Attridge - Head gained the backing of a motion proposed in Union Administrator, Politics number of trade unions General Meeting (UGM) of Department, English and Angela Bailey - Undergraduate Ben Wardle - Goodricke JCRC Related Literatures Chair including UNISON, the was passed, mandating Programs Administrator, History Trade Unions Congress, the YUSU “to campaign against Professor Ed Corrigan - Head of Sally Carter - Administrator, Tim Day - Halifax President National Union of Students any decision which would Department, Maths Politics and the University and mean a cut in the number of Professor Mark Whyte - Head of Brenda Westrope College Provosts and College Union. hours residential lodges are Brenda Westrope - Academic A number of academ- staffed in relation to the Department, Health Sciences Administrator, Psychology Administrators Dr. Simon Hardy - lecturer, ics have sent letters of their staffing of October 2006” Paul Greenbough - Dr. Carl Thompson - Provost, own condemning the state and “if portering does not Biology Administrator, Computer Wentworth of portering on campus. On return to the staffing levels Dr. Alison Drew - lecturer, Sciences Ron Weir - Provost, Derwent January 17 Professors Matt of October 2006 after the Politics Matravers and Tom period of temporary closure, Hillary Eaude - Departmental Dr. John R. Issitt - Provost, Dr. Mary Brooks - lecturer, Stoneham, Head of Politics to boycott University Open Administrator, York Management Langwith Economics and Philosophy respective- Days and, if felt necessary by School Dr. Jane Clarbown - Provost, ly, sent a joint letter to Ken Union Senate, actively cam- Dr. Tim Howell - senior lecturer, Goodricke Music Kenn Dodd - Provost, James Pam Wells - research student, Susan Dekker - College Psychology Matt Breakdown of student Administrator, Langwith Marie Prior - masters student, Matravers - Christina Unwin - College History of Art signatories by college Head of Secretary, Derwent Dr. Andrew Webster - lecturer, Politics Georgina Heath - College Biology Derwent Goodricke Department Administrator, Vanbrugh Dr. Elizabeth Buettner - lec- Sue Lister - College turer, History 27% 9% Administrator, Wentworth Jacqui Chainey - lecturer, ‘York’s attractiveness and Alcuin Langwith English as a Foreign Language reputation to potential plus 1153 students David Edwards - lecturer, students risks being damaged’ 19% 7% Politics and counting... Dr. Shelagh Sneddon - lecturer, James Vanbrugh History To add your signature to Dr. Jill Murdoch - lecturer, York University Students’ the open letter, visit 19% 6% Railway Studies and Transport Union Wentworth Halifax History Rich Croker and Colin Hindson - www.nouse.co.uk/openletter Haleh Afshar - lecturer, Politics YUSU President and Full list of signatures >> 11 9% 4% NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps News 5 on University as The main players The targets of the campaigns Greg Dyke Chancellor begin to mount Head of the University, but has told Nouse that he doesn’t comment on policy; he just “awards degrees”. Brian Cantor Vice-Chancellor The real source of power in the University, Cantor has been attacked for a string of cost-cutting measures. Keith Lilley Director of Facilities Has repeatedly claimed the staff shortages were “unforeseeable”, despite evidence gathered by Nouse. Ken Batten Head of Security Feared and respected in equal meas- ures, the former military policeman is under pressure to bring back porters. Those fighting for the porters Rich Croker YUSU President Refusing to represent the University The closure of lodges has led to protests from students, staff and academics. Photo: Milda Sabunaite at Open Days and other events in protest over the porters situation. paign against the sign outside the library and fines if the chairs to try and cut the hours of University on any such and the door of the were not returned. porters’ lodges in colleges Simon Parker days”. The motion passed YUSU building. In the The email also car- resulted in a massive with 216 votes, signifi- early hours of January 14 ried a message saying, YUSU-coordinated cam- Professor of Politics cantly higher than aver- a number of Derwent “this is not the way for- paign of direct action. The Simon Parker has coordinated a age, and was the only students stripped the ward, it's making more campaign culminated in a separate letter to Batten and Lilley motion of the UGM to dining hall of its chairs, work for everyone con- student occupation of with 52 signatures from professors. reach quoracy. hiding them in a nearby cerned, especially the Heslington Hall. There have also been residential block. porters!” In private, The occupation ended Unknown a number of incidents in They left a single however, porters have after a fire alarm was trig- which students have chair on top of each of the said that they were gered in the building, forc- Vigilante protest taken direct action out- bar’s pool tables with a “absolutely delighted” ing the protestors to evac- Graffitti saying ‘Fight for your side of the YUSU-coordi- note that read “If with the stunt and urged uate. What triggered the porters’ has started appearing nated campaign. A logo of Derwent porters’ lodge further direct action fire alarms still remains around campus, origin unknown. a fist with the message were staffed this wouldn't from students. unclear, with some specu- 'Fight for your porters' have happened.” The next There is a history of lating that they had been was spray-painted all over morning Derwent resi- stand-offs between man- set off in order to clear UNISON campus. It was placed in a dents were sent an email agement and students Heslington Hall. number of prominent threatening students over the issue of porter- Management quickly Major Porters’ Union locations including the with room searches by ing. In February 2002 a withdrew their plans as a Have worked to resist contractual window of Costcutter, the the Security Department decision by management result of the protest. changes for porters on campus and continue to support their struggle. Timeline: the events leading up to the crisis

August 2006: January 21, 2007: November 2006: Management give 90 days notice of a Closure of Derwent, Vanbrugh contract change eliminating shift 90-day notice period ends. and Wentworth porters’ lodges premiums and overtime. A number of New contracts come into force as a result of ‘unforeseeable’ porters refuse to work under the new despite numerous protests. staff shortages. conditions.

February 2002: August 2006 - January 2007: December 2006: Students occupy Heslington Ten porters resign or move New rotas brought in, meaning Hall in protest against departments as a result of the porters now work 12-hour management plans to cut 24- implementation of new contracts. shifts and can be deployed to hour portering. Management any area on campus instead of back down as a result of the having a designated college. occupation. Sponsored by NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007 RAG success breaks records

Costumes generated a carnival atmosphere as students took over the centre of York to raise money for various charities. Photos by Adam Sloan and Georgi Mabee

By Nicky Woolf RAG at York has come Kate Jefferies, YUSU RAG estimates that “if we includ- raids compared to previous York records for fundraising, DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR under fire in recent years for President, claims that these ed every single society... if it years... we are building raids both making in excess of under-performance in com- figures are not comparable. was all charity work on cam- back up.” Jefferies concurs, £3,000. These successes YORK RAG WEEK has been parison with equivalent “Different universities run pus, you'd be looking at saying “we've started to focus helped drive the RAG week an unprecedented success groups at Durham, Exeter RAGs in different ways,” she about £75,000 [per year].” on [raids]” and agrees that totals far beyond expecta- this year, raising in excess of and Bath, all of which have a explains. “Lots of universi- Many university RAG there is a definite upturn in tions. £16,000 for charities such as similar number of students ties around the country do committes make a large the figures. When asked about their York Nightstop, Survive, to York. street collections. Street col- amount of money on 'raids', Jefferies comments that hopes for the rest of the year, Teenage Cancer Trust and Durham’s RAG equiva- lections make a lot of where students go to a city York RAG's fundraising is Kate Jefferies and Colin the Make a Wish lent raised a total of money... we spend more centre and make collections. “looking extremely healthy Hindson, YUSU communi- Foundation. This makes it by £232,000 last year, while time focusing on our benefi- In the past, York hasn't done this year”, saying “we've cations and societies officers, far the most successful RAG the University of Bath’s RAG ciaries, putting on events, as many raids as events, but about tripled on last year estimate that “fundraising by week on record, beating the events raised £56,000. that sort of thing.” Ben Griffiths claims that this year already.” Both the Blagathon student groups within the previous year's RAG week by Exeter’s RAG is estimated to Griffiths, YUSU Charities York has “already raised a and the RAG Parade broke SU will raise more than more than £12,500. raise £60,000 every year. and Developments Officer, considerable amount on all previous University of £100,000 this year.” York tensions between ‘town and gown’

By Charlotta Salmi munity interrelations over Vice Chancellor, claims that one local business owner say- NEWS CORRESPONDENT the past few years, but cities the University does in fact ing “I get as many students such as Nottingham and contribute to the local com- as locals”. A local shop assis- York were cited as areas munity, noting that “we stage tant commented “the stu- YORK HAS BEEN singled where “Town-gown tensions concerts and provide a stim- dents at York university are out in the Guardian's report may be high”. ulating annual series of pub- some of the best behaved I've of their Higher Education The root of the Badger lic lectures, while the ever seen”. Summit as an area where Hill tensions lies in the Borthwick Institute, our A further worry tensions between 'town and amount of student housing sports facilities and nursery expressed by BAG is that the gown' are unusually high, as which forms the estate are widely used by the pub- intake in local schools is yet another petition is pre- (10%). The Badger Hill lic.” decreasing due to rising sented to the York City Action Group (BAG) claims BAG has also vocalized numbers of student lets. Council by the Badger Hill to represent the views of concern regarding the Figures from the 2001 gov- Action Group against multi- local residents by leafleting Badger Hill,York, is the area where tensions are worst impact of high numbers of ernmental census however ple-occupancy lets. the area and organizing peti- students on local businesses. reveal that 37% of residents Reports from the recent tions to the local City Council number of student tenancies dent lets in the last couple of However, staff at Badger Hill in the area are aged 55 years Guardian HE summit show to restrict student tenancies. in the area, referred to it as years, which has resulted in Bakery and a local shop or above. Thus families with that many universities feel Paul Hobman, a Badger Hill “balkanisation”. what one resident called a assistant agreed that stu- young children are signifi- there has been an improve- resident who spoke to the Some feel that there has decrease in “community spir- dents form a significant part cantly under-represented on ment in university and com- Guardian about the high been a rapid increase in stu- it”. Felicity Riddy, Deputy of their customer group, with the estate. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday 13 February 2007 Snappy Snaps News 7 Investigation reveals weakness in Chemistry security protocol

By Daniel Whitehead ed to abuse the system they DEPUTY EDITOR could take dangerous chemi- cals, but it would take a lot of thought. First years are most FEARS OVER the security vulnerable, as by the third of dangerous chemicals in year everyone knows each the Chemistry Department other”. She added that, have been raised after Nouse although it would be possible gained entry to a secure to gain access if you knew the building intended only to be name of a lecturer, only “a accessible to Chemistry stu- chemistry student would dents and staff. This has have the knowledge of how come at a time when the to use the chemicals in a issue of the security of chem- dangerous manner”. icals in universities has been University spokesperson brought to prominence by David Garner defended the the introduction of govern- security measures in place, ment measures to prevent saying “The Chemistry potential terrorists exploit- department follows govern- ing laboratories. ment guidelines relating to Entry to the building, the security of scheduled controlled by a key-card sys- chemicals. Radioactive tem, was obtained when two material is stored securely journalists were let in by a and there are security cam- chemistry student without eras in place around the identifying themselves or department, University secu- implying they were a mem- rity staff patrol on a regular ber of the department. The basis. key-card system is suppos- “Students and staff in edly being strictly moni- Chemistry are encouraged to tored, with students told to be vigilant when entering never let people in they do and leaving the building, to not recognise. eliminate as far as possible Information obtained unauthorised entry. The key Nouse journalists were able to bypass the Chemistry keycard system described as ‘the first line of defence’ by Nouse gave details of the card system is, in the context days when certain chemicals of laboratory security, simply have the potential to contra- potential terrorists from come to study with the inten- denied visas. would be accessible in labo- a first line of defence. The vene new measures gaining knowledge which tion to use their knowledge The Academic Tech- ratories. The chemicals fact that students need announced recently by the could be used to carry out an in developing weapons after- nology Approval Scheme is available include Acetone, access to staff offices means government, which will see attack. Visa applications will wards, thus posing a security seen by the the Foreign Nitric Acid, Ethanol and that the key card points are all foreign postgraduate stu- apparently be blocked by the threat. Office as an improvement on Benzoyl Peroxide, some of heavily used, however only dents from outside the EU Foreign Office if they are Should the applicants current security regulations, which can be used in the authorised students and staff who wish to pursue courses deemed suspect. fail to provide compelling which targets students from making of liquid bombs. are allowed into the labora- in Biochemistry or Physics The new security check evidence of legitimate rea- specific countries, such as A second-year chem- tories which are normally having to go through exten- system will be introduced in sons for wanting to study the Pakistan and Israel, which istry undergraduate ques- locked when not in use.” sive vetting to check their universities throughout the subjects, or should their pre- are deemed worrisome and tioned on the matter admit- The security flaws credentials. These regula- country to ensure that for- vious study records seem has been criticised for being ted “If someone really want- revealed by this investigation tions are intended to prevent eign postgraduates do not suspicious, they could be discriminatory. Concerns raised over Vanbrugh’s future

By Jenny O’Mahony the holiday periods. now almost entirely made up will be situated across cam- Bleachfield was intend- of offices, and also house the pus, which has led to con- DEPUTY EDITOR ed to be ready for the aca- LFA and Language & cerns that Bleachfield resi- demic year of 2006/2007 Linguistics departments. dents could become isolated THE EXTENSIVE building but due to problems involv- Currently, Vanbrugh stu- from other members of the works taking place near ing planning permission it dents reside in Blocks A and college. Wentworth College will has been delayed. B of the original Vanbrugh The fact that the com- become a new set of blocks It is hoped that the first building. A number of stu- plex will be left without a for Vanbrugh College, which two blocks will open on 7 dents are staying in Blocks P laundry for the entirety of will cost around £10 million, October, possibly to house and Q of Alcuin College due the Autumn Term has also according to current predic- the new intake of Medical to the building work and the been highlighted as an issue, tions. The ‘Bleachfield’ proj- students who are currently imminent demolition of the which has caused tension on ect, which will divide not affiliated to any particu- old Language Teaching the original Vanbrugh site Vanbrugh over a number of lar college. Two further Centre. where laundry facilities are sites, has raised concerns blocks will follow on 19 Concerns have been already scarce. over the cohesion of the col- October, and the remainder raised by former Vanbrugh Warren has stressed the lege’s future. will be ready for January College Chair, Mickey need to retain a “physical The new complex will 2008, along with a ‘services’ Macefield, and its current place where college identity be comprised of six blocks The £10m Bleachfield Project will divide Vanbrugh building which will include a Provost, Alan Warren, over can have some reality.” with around 249 rooms. laundry. the physical break-up of However, he is in favour of There are currently no plans one of the blocks could be those in Alcuin currently, The need for an addi- Vanbrugh and the effect such Bleachfield, and says the key for a Bleachfield JCR to be solely inhabited by postgrad- with en-suite facilities and tion to the original Vanbrugh changes will have on welfare to success is the “real cross- built, or for any portering uates, but this has yet to be well-equipped kitchens building has come about and college spirit. fertilisation of learning and provision on site. confirmed. The rooms are which would also be used to since the refurbishment of The JCR for Vanbrugh experience for students and It has been mooted that likely to be a similar style to house conference guests over Blocks B and C, which are students living in Bleachfield staff alike.” Sponsored by NOUSE: THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 8 News Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007 Viking Raid t-shirts bought from an unethical supplier

By Rachel Guest and The motion seeks to Steph Dyson reinforce YUSU's Union Code, in which YUSU YUSU AND RAG have come declares they will encourage under increased scrutiny the use of fair trade mer- this week following their use chandise. This part of the of the non-Fair Trade suppli- Union Code is linked with er Fruit of the Loom for the University's Fair Trade Viking Raid merchandise. status, which it received in Following confirmation 2005. that RAG had bought T- Michael Wood, who shirts from Fruit of the proposed the motion, said Loom, who are notorious for “the concept of the union poor working standards and existing to protect student's the use of sweatshops to pro- interests seems completely duce goods, Nouse has also alien to them." He also felt it discovered that the brand was "particularly horren- Stedman was the source of dous for our union to be last term’s Viking Raid mer- sourcing its clothing from chandise. Stedman operates [Fruit of the Loom]." under the Hanes branch of Fruit of the Loom’s eth- retail giant Sara Lee, which ical standards were brought has also been heavily criti- into the spotlight on campus cised by ethical lobby groups in 2005 by a Nouse cam- and medical experts, who paign to encourage colleges have stated that workers in a to terminate their contracts Mexican factory are "inca- with this company due to its pable of doing their work deplorable working prac- due to the irreversible harm tices. caused by workplace The International injuries." Textile, Garment and The decision to pur- Leather Workers' Federation chase merchandise from condemned Fruit of the Fruit of the Loom and Loom for having a "history Stedman arguably contra- of virulent anti-union activi- venes the spirit of YUSU’s ty" following their dismissal Union Code, which states of eight workers in 2001, for that the Union will promote attempting to establish a "Sound Ethical Choice" of union. products and "will purchase, The use of compulsory where practical, from sup- pregnancy testing for their pliers graded highly by the female employees, silent NUSSL Environment and working conditions and an Ethics Committee." YUSU bought its Viking Raid II T-shirts from Fruit of the Loom, who are notorious for using sweatshops to produce their cheap clothing. insufficient wage are also Ben Griffiths, the YUSU examples of the company's Student Development and taken place." He also claimed tion of suppliers for both "Sweatshops and Ethical "mandate the exec" to use a disregard for workers' rights Charities Officer, defended the Union Code “encour- Viking Raid events could Merchandise" was proposed T-shirt brand of a company and health. the use of these suppliers, ages”, but does not demand, have enabled the use of a at YUSU. It intends not only where "workers receive a liv- YUSU Services Officer saying YUSU "researched ethical purchasing. more morally sound compa- to enforce a University-wide ing wage, work in safe and Amy Woods, who was in using Fair Trade merchan- However, questions nies. campaign against the horrif- healthy conditions and are charge of ordering merchan- dise; however, it would have have been raised as to At the end of last term, a ic conditions to which work- free to join an independent dise for the events, was arrived after the event had whether earlier considera- UGM motion entitled ers are subject, but also to union." unavailable for comment. Spoof letters spark University inquiry Derwent abandons By Raf Sanchez that lacks any cooking facili- withholding all mail catered-only plans NEWS EDITOR ties at all.” He goes on to say addressed to ‘Bassey’, includ- he is being “treated like a ing one which is thought to By Milda Sabunaite December, which showed THE UNIVERSITY OF York subhuman” and that the only be from Buckingham Palace. DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR that “people were self-cater- is carrying out a “confiden- support the college has given Having apparently been ing satisfactorily at the tial investigation” into the him is “tax-free Ainsley alarmed by the content of the PLANS TO introduce full moment and could continue running of Derwent College Harriott Cous-Cous in one intercepted replies, the catering in Derwent College for the coming year.” on the strength of spoof let- flavour. This is unacceptable. University is carrying out an next year have been aban- This summer, all blocks ters written by a student to a This is very unhealthy.” internal confidential investi- doned. The college will will be fully adapted for self- number of national figures. ‘Bassey’ has received a gation aiming to ascertain if remain fully self-catered and catering. Dining areas will be The Derwent student number of replies, including there was any truth in the will go through further reno- created in 2008. sent letters to Tony Blair, the letters from 10 Downing St. obviously satirical letters. vations of facilities. According to Croker, the Queen, the BBC, John and the Department for How the University became According to SU changes are expected to pro- Grogan, MP for Selby, and Education and Skills. privy to the contents of a President Rich Croker, who vide residents of Derwent Costcutter under the psue- Bassey sent a spoof letter Neither were able to help sealed envelope remains sits on the Catered College with “more than adequate” donym ‘Julian Bassey’, com- to HM Queen Elizabeth II him. The BBC, however, read unclear. ‘Bassey’ has since Implementation Group and dining facilities adding “The plaining that the college con- the letter with “great inter- discontinued his letter cam- Medium Term Evaluation improvements that are hap- tinues to “violently ignore” In his letters, he com- est” and requested an inter- paign, saying he is now satis- Group, a survey was carried pening at speed across cam- his letters about Derwent’s plains about being a resident view. ‘Bassey’ has yet to reply. fied with the kitchen condi- out in Derwent after the pus are a really positive kitchen facilities. of Derwent College, “one Derwent College is now tions. refurbishment of kitchens in sign." NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps News feature 9 York struggles to overcome its reputation for lack of diversity Are we living in a monoculture? Nicky Woolf and Raf Sanchez take an in-depth look at the underlying reasons for the University of York’s lack of ethnic diversity.

lthough the British cessful. National Party might What effect does this lack have us believe differ- of diversity have on prospective Aently, Britain is for the applicants? Bukky Ojo, one of most part proud of its status as YUSU’s Racial Equality Officers a multicultural and multiethnic spoke extremely positively nation. But anyone who spends about her personal experience even an hour on campus at York of arriving at York. “I am the will be able to tell that Britain’s only black student on my minority population is vastly course, but rather than try and underrepresented here. push the issue away, they were UCAS does not suffer from very welcoming, and on my first such a derth of ethnicity with day I wrote a profile in the 15.9% of total applications University of York prospectus.” made up by Black and Minority However, Ogtay Huseyni, Ethnic (BME) students, com- the chair of Islamic Soc, talks of pared to 8.9% of the country’s his surprise upon arrival at York total population. But the from London and seeing “a sea University of York does. The of white faces... It’s very, very overwhelmingly white composi- different”. Caren Onanda, one tion of the student body fails of YUSU’s Racial Equality offi- not only to match up to the cers, describes the same feeling. UCAS diversity figures, but the “For me, it was a bit of a national figures as well. shock the first couple of days, Connie Cullen, from the but then I just got used to it.” University’s Admissions and She goes on to say that “for peo- Schools Liaison office, acknowl- ple who aren’t used to [being edged this, saying, “The propor- very much in the minority], I tion of students at the can imagine it’s quite hard... A Ethnic University of York from minori- lot of people are put off because minority ty ethnic groups is smaller than they know it’s not ethnically students the proportion in higher educa- diverse at all. So, they think, lack equal tion nationally.” ‘What’s the point of going there The University’s Equal if it’s going to be like being in a representa- Opportunity policy states, “The fishtank?’” tion at York University is committed to Huseyni’s experience of equality monitoring of under- arriving at York from London were walking through James, York as a truly multiethnic envi- graduate and postgraduate for the first time is a common “There was a lot of racist they were semi-attacked. They ronment. The numbers of BME applications, admissions, pro- one, and stems from the fact were leaving a cultural society students at York is increasing gression and achievement,” but that London’s ethnic makeup is graffiti in the library meeting, and as they left they year on year. Onanda helps to the figures would imply that the far more diverse than the city of had eggs thrown at them.” put things into perspective; University initiatives to increase York’s. But why should the toilets, and that was just She hints that the motiva- now in her third year, she has BME representation on campus University’s ethnic breakdown tions were not necessarily seen the number of BME stu- have not been massively suc- reflect the city’s? The introduc- at the end of last term” racial, and is keen to downplay dents increase exponentially in this as an insignificant, isolated the two years since she arrived tion to the University’s Race incident, saying, “We reported it at York as a fresher. Ethnic origins of home Equality Policy states that to the Equal Opportunities offi- The numbers may still be “within the wider local commu- cer and we spoke to them and small in real terms, she nity, the University has a key made sure they were getting the explains, but in terms of per- Undergraduates - York 2005/6 role in promoting diversity, right welfare support, and it centage increase, “it’s huge.” respect and tolerance which, never went anywhere past that This gradual increase is a self- Black Other ethnic taken together, enhance soci- because they were happy.” fulfilling prophecy, because the Asian 0.89% groups 1.25% ety's collective strengths and Apart from this, the over- more diverse York becomes the 2.01% foster the next generation of all picture she paints is of a more attractive it will become to Mixed learners.” University that is almost entire- students from a BME back- It is arguably succeeding in ly free of racial tensions, and ground. 1.86% the second two, as few BME this is generally the belief on There is still a long way to students who reach York com- campus. go – the presence of ethnic plain of not being treated with It can be argued that the minority students on campus respect and tolerance. University has so far seen little remains small and the percent- Onanda describes the few success in it’s aim to increase ages are still nearly ten points incidents that have been diversity. Is York stuck in a behind UCAS’, but the situation brought to her attention at the vicious cycle where its reputa- is gradually improving. York is Racial Equality office of YUSU. tion for lack of diversity is put- slowly starting to be viewed as a “There was a lot of racist graffiti ting off the very people it is natural choice for high-achiev- in the library toilets, and that working hard to try and attract? ing BME students, The time was just at the end of last term.” The answer is probably and effort invested in encourag- She continues, “Another student not. All those interviewed ing BME students to York is, White 94.0% complained that when they expressed hope for the future of slowly but surely paying off. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 10 Comment Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps 11 Comment & Analysis A high-water mark of bad faith Rags for riches Open door policy It is to be hoped that the open letter to Keith Lilley and Brian Cantor fea- Exploitation at the heart of charity tured on the front cover of this edition of Nouse will serve as the high-water Alarm bells should be ringing mark of administrative and managerial bad faith at York. It is a sign that company that prevents Moroccan workers academics, staff and students alike are sick and tired of underhand, cloak- from exercising their right to freedom of sonable to ask where else people can and-dagger policies designed to sneak budget cuts past all of us under the Francis Boorman association. This can be seen at YUSU.org. freely wander. What else could they find? guise of temporary measures or setbacks. Contributing Writer Surprisingly, this isn’t the first time Amy Battye In various locations around campus It is first and foremost, of course, a letter about the porters. We believe this year that merchandise has come from Contributing Writer there are medical records, bank details, that every member of this University, in one way or another, has a reason to such disreputable sources. With Nouse personal information, codes and pass- be thankful for their presence; whether it is for as simple a service as help- currently raising questions about the ethi- words – and that’s without even broach- ing us out with an embarrassing lost key scenario, or assisting our inebriat- cal standards of Sara Lee, the parent com- ing the prospect of a breech of confiden- ed selves back to our rooms; or as dramatic a rescue as chasing thieves away ‘Raising and giving’ would seem to be a pany of the makers of T-shirts for the first tiality within academic research. All this from a broken window and comforting the weeping almost-victim. There is principle that nobody could possibly Viking Raid, it’s disappointing that YUSU It probably comes as no surprise to many information could be acquired by anyone an endless reservoir of anecdotal evidence for the sterling job that porters malign. And indeed the RAG committee have repeated such a preventable error. that the Chemistry department, and the and, if the access protocols of the do. do some fine work collecting money for After campaigns by individual col- potentially hazardous materials stored Chemistry department are anything to Perhaps even more importantly, however, this is a letter that demands a worthwhile charities. However, the prin- leges to make the sourcing of merchandise throughout it, are easier to gain access to go by, no-one would be any the wiser. future where all administrative procedures are performed transparently, ciple of helping others goes beyond char- more ethical, it would seem that there is a than the stacks in the North Room of the The reliance throughout campus on and in public view. Nobody with an ounce of sense would argue that budget ity; helping others to help themselves desire to buy products that do not encour- library. Still, this ought to set alarm bells coded door locks as the first line of cuts are not sometimes necessary, but if this letter contains any message at may have become something of a cliché, age exploitation. Then why can’t the RAG ringing – not just within the department, defence against intruders has been all it should be that we as students, we as the population, we as the share- but it still remains some truth. committee – of all people – follow suit? but all the way across campus. recognised as inadequate for years, and holders and stakeholders in the community that is the University of York, It is a shame that a big event like The Union Code explicitly mentions the Heightened security is now a simple while the University claim that things are would much prefer to be told, to be asked, and to be consulted about them. Viking Raid II has to be accompanied by importance of fair trade. Such a clear-cut fact in our lives; it is, we are told, neces- changing, they obviously aren’t changing It is in this spirit of openness that this letter was written, it is in this spirit of worries over something as avoidable as principle cannot be applied selectively. sary to prevent those who shouldn’t gain- quickly enough. A sign was recently spot- openness that this letter was signed by a broad swathe of the University’s problems with ethical sourcing of T- This may be an unfortunate mistake ing access to things they shouldn’t. An ted on a door in Vanbrugh C-block, population, and it is in this spirit of openness that this letter is published. shirts. Using Fruit of the Loom as a sup- but, on issues such as this, it is down to exciting variety of possible uses for the pleading the following: “Stop leaving this We very much hope that it is received in the spirit it is intended. plier of clothing is not acceptable, taking organisations like the RAG committee to ingredients found in a university chem- door open and unlocked!! Over £12,000 into account, amongst other things, their take the lead. These groups have a respon- istry lab are easy enough to find on the worth of kit in here.” Where would the involvement in preventing trade union sibility to make sure that we don’t let char- Internet. For the price of better locks and money to replace all that kit come from? Fairness and charity activity in their factory near the ity begin at home by forgetting about peo- a little extra vigilance, we could avoid the Who would suffer as a consequence? If Moroccan capital of Rabat. It seems ple abroad. It’s important to carry on giv- unpleasant consequences of our laxity. we’re going to keep a grip on unwelcome Our heartiest congratulations go out to York RAG on their record-breaking deeply contradictory to put a link to the ing, but in using companies that exploit If, as seems to be the case, access can visitors, more than locks need to change. RAG week. The total raised represents a spectacular achievement for all Make Poverty History website next to their workers, we can actually be seen as be so easily gained to areas of the those involved. It is unfortunate, however, that a sour note had to be struck advertising for event merchandise from a taking away. University that one would expect to be by the merchandising for the Viking Raid II. As part of the Students’ Union Little Johnny would become the scourge of the authorities. Big Dave would become head of campus security. under the tightest security, it seems rea- of a University that has worked hard to obtain fair trade status, it is unforgiv- Cartoon by Sam Waddington able that goods could be purchased from a company well known, even on campus, for unethical trade conduct. Prêt à Porter This is the same YUSU team whose main brief it is to uphold the very charter in which the pledge to fair trade is enshrined. It is doubly unforgiv- Students have had enough of towing the bottom line able that similar oversights happened two terms in a row. It is absolutely no In full Signatories to our open letter on porters Caroline Abblitt, Thomas Abbott, Jimena Acevedo Freijo, Ceri Adams, Sarah Charlotte Emery, Jocelyn English, Laura Erdmanis, Ceri Evans, Edward Evans, Leadbetter, Chrissie Leahy, Michael Leahy, Bridget Leather, Matt Ledger, Ruth Salmon, Marc Sanders, Sarah, Nicola Sard, Patrick Sarkies, Sara Sayeed, excuse that by the time the issue was addressed the products would not have University, it seems, can take any num- regressive about this. Should students Adams, Katey Adcock, Charlotte Addison, Philip Adey, Qadar Al-Ansari, James James Evans, Nigel Evans, India Evans-Wilday, Emily F Gretton, Daniel Matthew Lee, Richard Lees, James Legg, Oliver Lester, Peter Lewis, Rebecca Toby Scarisbrick, Adam Schofield, Amy-Claire Scott, Chloe Scott, Elizabeth Alan Armstrong, Desi Aleksieva, Chloe Alexander, Andy Allcorn, Helen Amass, Fairbrother, Hayley Fallon, Charlie Fane-Gladwin, Eleanor Farrow, Matthew Lewis, Guo Li, Simon Lickley, Jolene Lightfoot, Jianhong Lin, Jasper Littmann, Scott, Martin Scott, Sian Scott, Victoria Scott, Robin Seaton, Louis Sebastian, been delivered in time. The Students’ Union must resolve in the future to ber of liberties with your education, your really need twenty-four hour supervision David Ambrozejczyk, Lawrence Ames, David Amey, Jack Amiry, Esi Amonoo- Faulkner,Jessica Feehan,Andrew Fenichel,Deborah Fenney,Andrew Fensom, Teresa Liu,Christophoros Liverdos,Nikola Ljubicic,Torrie Lloyd-Adams, Claire Seeley, Rebecca Segal, Jenny Seymour, Amy Shackleton, Rory Shanks, Kuofi, Stephen Andrew Johnson, Charlotte Andrews, Angela, Philippa Anne Matthew Ferguson, Zoë Ferguson, Marcin Filip Banasik, Alex Fink, Liam Fink, Yushan Lo, Chris Locke-Wheaton, Jennifer Lockey, Rosemary Lohan, Richard Meena Sharma, Deborah Sharpe, James Sharpe, Rosalind Sharpey, Clare have more foresight in ordering ethical products in good time for planned Sam Thomas social life, your wallet. But heaven forbid in order to feel secure? They certainly Bellis, Rebecca Anne Carlisle, Tom Anscombe, Joe Anthony Bell, Francesca Rachel Finnegan, Andrew Fisher, Joe Fisher, Kate Fisher, Elliot Fleet, Helen Long, Rachel Longley, Anna Longman, Rachael Longman, Laura Longworth, Shaw, Dominic Shaw, Samuel Shaw, Fahad Sheikh, Jo Shelley, Michael Sherry, Archer-Todde, Paul Armstrong, Richard Ash, Nadav Atik, Matilda B, Cherry Fletcher, Grace Fletcher-Hall, William Flewitt, Tom Flowerdew, Ross Fobian, Elia Lopez, Ann Louise Williams, Ann Lowe, Ryan Lower, Jenny Lowthrop, Qi Shi, Rachel Shield, Chelsea Shields-Mas, Caroline Shingfield, Terence events. Comment Editor they try and take away your porters. In wouldn't receive it anywhere else, and in Brough, Joanna Badrock, Andrew Baghurst, Daniel Baker, Liam Baker, Anna Katy Ford, Lucy Ford, Rob Fordham, Teri Forey, Adam Formby, Sebastian Matthew Lucas, Luke, Jody Luke Rolfe, Goran Lukic, Rebecca Lumley, Harry Silkstone, Emma Simpson, Victoria Simpson, Jonathan Sims, Neha Singhal, Baldry, Laura Barber, Elizabeth Barker, Joe Barker, Kirsty Barnes, Neil Barnes, Forrest, Emily Forster, Alex Forsyth, Abbi Foster, Adam Foster, David Foster, Lund, Marie Luo, Catherine Lutton, Jinfang Mao, Ioanna Mavrou, Johnathan Laura Sinnott, Daniel Sjöström, Gary Skyrme, Greg Smale, James Smallwood, the immortal words of Walter Sobchak, this respect the life of an undergraduate Siobhan Barrass, Hannah Barrett, Kate Barrett, Natalie Barrett, Jamie Barron, Gary Foster, Sarah Foster, Holly Fowkes, Gareth Fowler, Chris Fox, Anna Frame, Matlock, Teresa Michael, Yun Ma, Georgi Mabee, Alison MacKellar, Fiona Catherine Smith, Charlotte Smith, Greg Smith, Hayley Smith, Jillian Smith, Emma Barrow, Jenny Basford, Richard Bateman, Kevin Bates, Sophie Bates, Midori Frame, Daniel Franklin, Scott Franklin, Rodrigues Frederique, Lizzie MacLean, Ruth MacMullen, James Machin, Cullen Macintosh, Neill Mackay, Kate Smith, Matthew Smith, Neil Smith, Nicola Smith, Rosemary Smith, Toby this is about drawing a line in the sand. is a uniquely coddled one. Still, it’s a Laura Batty, Amy Battye, Sebastian Bauerschmidt, James Bayliss, Sam Freear, Elizabeth Freeman, Dominic Freeston, Daniel Fryett, Kevin Fulcher, Nina Mackellow, Fiona Mackenzie, Laura Maguire, Jessica Main, Nick Maltby, Smith, Zoe Smith, Rikke Soegaard, Floor Soesbergen, Jo Sohn-Rethel, Anna Bearman, Darren Beaumont, Robin Beaven, Helen Beck, Rosie Beech, Helen Emine G. Aydal, Hannah Gale, Simon Gammon, Ioanna Garbola, Aaron Kirby Mania,Lauren Manley,Stephen Mann,Katie Marchbank,Laura Margaret Southward, Lewis Spring, Oliver Stead, Holly Steel, Alex Stevens, Toby Diversity on campus Across this line: you do not cross. stretch to read well-meaning tough love Beeston, Liz Bellamy, Edward Bennett, Eleanor Bennett, Ryan Bennett, Robbie Gardner, Alice Gardner, Stephen Gardner, H Garrett, Kevin Gartland, Thomas Mary Archer, Caterina Marini, David Marjoribanks, Andrew Marriott, Stevenson-Cocks, Alan Stewart, Christian Stock, Nicolas Stone Villani, James Berryman, Jocelyn Betts, Christopher Bevan, Kirk Bevins, Sarah Birch, Jenny Gatehouse, Michael Gatland, Emma Gawen, Geoff Gedroyc, Anna-Maria Alexander Marsh, Tabi Marsh, Adam Marshall, Andrew Marshall, Benjamin Stone, Michael Stott, Laura Street, Lisa Stuart, Shaun Stubbins, Shoko Suguri, The act of micturation that the into the University's actions. There’s little Birkinshaw, Andy Birnie, Adam Bissett, Jessica Blackwell, Oliver Blair, Heidi Georgiou, Beth Gibson, Alex Gill, Konstantinos Gkotzos, Daniel Glowinski, Martin, Jonathan Martin, Patrick Martin, Sean Martin, Stewart Martin-Haugh, Amy Swales, Caroline Swallow, Emma Swan, Laura Syddall, Rachel Sykes, Blake, Tim Blake, Andrew Blakeley, Rachel Blakemore, Charles Blundell, Stacey Go,William Goddard,Michael Goldman,Joanna Goodier,Sally Goodsir, Mary, Ben Masters, David Matthew McDonald, Chris Maudsley, Marco Hannah Sylvester, Y. Tong, Francesca Tarrant, Sonya Tate, Laura Tattersley, Ethnicity and diversity are extremely sensitive issues, and should be treated As you've probably tired of hearing dur- University has perpetrated upon the col- more reason to believe the official line: Katherine Boardman, Anna Boast, Matt Bodle, Sally Bolitho, John Bolton, Paul Bhavika Gorasia, Sally Gordon, Johanna Gottschalk, Elizabeth Grabham, McAllister, Adam McCabe, Hannah McCagherty, Clare McCallum, Jonathan Andrew Taylor, Clare Taylor, Gregory Taylor, James Taylor, Steffi Taylor, Will Bonner, Christopher Booth, Benjamin Born, Danusia Borucka, Sebastian Adam Graham, Helen Gray, Ian Gray, M Gray, Kate Green, Michael Green,Toby McCarthy, Alistair McDougall, Tracie McElroy, Rose McGilp, Tom McGlashan, Taylor, William Taylor, Carolyn Telford, Adrian Tellwright, Florence Tennent, as such on campus. In the absence of properly representative diversity at ing your time here, it takes an awful lot to lege system has not gone unnoticed, as that reductions in staffing were “unfore- Bottard, India Bourne, Dean Bowmer, Tim Bradbury, Ruth Bradley, Rebecca Green, Anne-Marie Greenland, Anna Greenleaves, Daniel Greensides, Amy Rachael McGoverb, Michael McGovern, Michaela McGuigan, Mark Sophie Thacker, Michael Thackray, Hollie Thirsk, Ben Thomas, Nicholas Brain, Bianca Brajuha, Thomas Branson, Lewis Bretts, Jen Brewin, Fiona Brice, Greensmith,Vicci Greensmith,Alice Gregson,Becky Griffin,David Griffin,Liam McGuinness, Eilidh McIntosh, J. McMenemy, Lauren McMillan, Rebecca Thomas,Sam Thomas,Rupert Thompson,Alexander Thornton,Dan Thornton, York, extra care must be taken not to alienate students from ethnic minority get a York student out of bed in the evidenced by the huge number of signa- seeable”, and not a calculated attempt at Adam Broadbent, Michael Broaders, Rachael Brockman, Kathryn Bromwich, Griffin,Lauren Griffiths,Ben Grigor,Hannah Grimoldby,Jenny Grout,Matthew McTaggart, Jonathan Meager, Timothy Mehta, Liang Mei Lee, Greg Melia, Joe Thwaites, Yu Tian, Elena Tiis, Kat Timmins, Colin Tingey, Rose Tomlins, Helen Broome, Alistair Broomhead, David Brown, Elizabeth Brown, Helen Grum, Eamonn Henshall, Hui-Fen Hsu,Tianyou Huang, JD Habbershon, Nicola Menigault, Lauren Menzies, Jamie Merrill, Emily Metcalfe, James Michael Niamh Tooher, Ben Toone, Selen Toplu, Ruth Townsend, David Toze,Thanh Tra backgrounds, and furthermore to ensure that they feel fully welcomed into morning. You're an apathetic, compla- tures, from students and faculty alike, whittling down costs. Brown, Charlie Bruce, Helen Bruce, Megan Bryan, Oliver Bullock, Peter Haddleton, James Haigh, Charlotte Hall, Victoria Hallam, Morven Hamilton, Gaughan, James Michael Hambleton, Jennifer Michael, Beth Millard, Robert Doan, Kayleigh Tranter, Chris Travis, Shelly Tregay, Thamrong Triprasertphot, Burgess, Andrew Burkimsher, Nathan Burles, Adam Burley, Hannah Burnham, Melissa-Lauren Hammond, Camilla Hampton, Jen Handyside, Oliver Hanlon, Milnes, Jia Min Wong, Chi Ming Fung, Nicola Minnitt, Neil Mitchell, Stephen Chun-Chieh Tsai, Alison Tsang, Lucy Turner, Sam Turner, Helen Turnock, all aspects of university life. It is simply not enough to produce glossy cent lot, or so your reputation would that accompany Nouse's open letter con- Only the most naïve have yet to Amanda Burns, Dave Burton, Matt Burton, Tamar Burton, David Butler, Liam Sam Hanna, Hannah, Charles Hanney, Peter Harbottle, Sandy Harkin, Lucy Mitchell, Erin Miwa, Vicki Moignard, Maizura Mokhtar, Tom Mole, Alastair Natasha Tyler-Harris, Samuel Tyndal, Deren Unalmis, Ibrahim Unalmis, Alan Butler, James Butterworth, Katharine Byrne, Jenny C, Matthew Cade, Andrew Harle, Anna Harper, Kate Harperq, Simon Harpin, Michael Harrison, Sophie Moore, Heather Moore, Jon Moore, David Morecroft, Emily Morton, Richard Underwood, Christina Unwin, Jackie Upton, Tamsin Urquhart, Muhammed brochures displaying token diversity; this University must show an interest have it, and quite happy to laze in bed demning the situation. Many included grasp the essential drive behind Cadwallader, Abigail Cahak,Verity Calder, Christina Campbell, Lucy Campling, Harrison, Kelvin Harwood, Will Harwood, Lucy Haslam, Nick Hassey, Chris Morton, Clare Mosey, Rachel Moss, Maryah Mufti, Laura Mulley, Simon Usman Khan, Andreadakis Vasileios, Jessica Veith, Marc Vestey, Sittiphol while the rest of the country’s student their affectionate reminiscences of University decision-making: money Roberto Cantarero, Michelle Cargan, Rosemary Carlton - Willis, James Carn, Havergal, Ben Hawthorne, Ashley Haycock, Hannah Hayes, Claire Hazelgrove, Murrells, Joseph Muzalewski, Simon Myers, Wang Na , Leila Nandlal, Sunil Viboonthanakul,Vicki, Laura Vitty, Catherine Vondrak, James W Wright,Victor in diversity on campus from day to day, as well as during the application Anna Caroline Toedtmann, Ellen Carpenter, Chris Carrington, Natalie Carroll, Alex Hazell, Ding He, Charmain Heah, Tom Healey, Rachel Hearne, Georgina Naran, Shipra Narang, Natalie, John Neeson, Jeanette Nelson, Nestor, Kelly W.D. Quan, Xiao Wang, Simon Waddington, Sarah Waite, Brett Wakley, Hayley process. activists are out fighting the powers that encounters with the University's famous- talks, and administration listens. That James Carter, Jo Carter, Joanne Carter, Daniel Castles, David Caswell, Hannah Heath, Jennifer Heaton, Andy Heeley, Stacey Hemmings, Tom Henry, Robert Neukom, Antonia Newman, Kathryn Newman, Bosco Ng, Tuan Nguyen, Ben Walker, James Walker, Stephen Walker, Thomas Walker, A Wallace, Hannah Catherine Bunn, Jonathan Caunce, Jessica Cave, Rachel Cavill, Harriet Henson, Leigh Herbert, John Heritage, Marnie Hernandez, Thomas Hesketh, Nicholl, John Nicholls, Peter Nicholson, Nick, Andreadis Nikolaos, Xavier Wallace, Timothy Wallace, R Waller, Lucy Wallington, Robert Wallis, Niamh In fact, York’s singular lack of ethnic diversity – both as a city and a uni- be tooth and nail. ly unflappable porters, ranging all the the Students' Union has long seemed to Chambers, Joshua Chambers, Karen Chan, Richard Chandler, Amrita Chandra, Katie Hewitt, Jerome Hickie, Simon Hicklin, Adam Hicks, Kate Hicks, Anthony Nitsch, Michael Nixon, Criss Noice, Eliza Noland, Andrew Nortcliffe, Emma Walsh,Joe Walton,Cong Wang,Jenny Warner,Jennifer Warren,Rachel Warren, Cynthia Chang, Emma Chapman, Joe Chapman, Kate Chapman, Jessica Higgins, Helen Hilditch, Emily Hill, Sarah Hill, Jennifer Hills, Jason Hilton, Novak, Chris Novakovic, Erik O'Connor, Andrew O'Gorman, Kathleen Ben Watkins, Lucy Watkins, Amalia Watson, Daisy Watts, Evelyn Webster, versity – make the challenges of creating and sustaining a viable multicultur- Thankfully, this is nowhere near the way from tending to the injured and be in a state of denial over this speaks Chappell, Charalampos Charalampous, Emma Charnley, Davina Chauhan, Jemma Hinchliff, Seb Hinde, Jocelyn Hinds, Richard Hinds, Marin Hirschfeld, O'Hanlon, Jennifer O'Mahony, Morgan O'Neill, Richard O'Neill, Dominic Michael Weeks, Zhihao Wei, Benjamin Welby, David Wells, Hannah Wells, Tim Jing Chen, Julie Cheng, Christina Cheung, Natasha Cheung, Ya-Chin Chuang, Deborah Hobbs, Natalie Hodges, Kate Hodson, Katy Holiday, Miguel O'Shea, Hannah O'Shea, Clare OReilly, Alix Odgers, Elly Odom, Sayaka Wells, Luke Westwood, Michelle Wheeler, Kerry White, Daniel Whitehead, Sam al community all the more acute. There is often a tendency for minority mark. Extensive personal research has drunk to saving the modesty of the volumes about its limited stock of inde- Andrew Churchard, Helen Citron, Rachel Clara Parker, Adam Clark, Alex Clark, Holloway, Roxanne Holman, Kate Holmes, Marie Holmes, Stephanie Hood, Okumura, Hilary Oldfield Gould, Andrew Oldridge, Katja Olsen, Jamie Whittaker, James Wigby, Chris Wiggins, Jon Wigner, Louis Wihl, Michael Wild, Joanna Clark, Sarah Clark, Stephanie Clarke, Vicky Clarke, Paul Clarkson, Andrew Hook, Rachel Hope, Rachel Hopkins, Mike Horswell, Stephanie Omahony, Shirin Ong, Sophia Orphanou, Rachael Orr, Charles Osborne, Ceri Rachel Wilkinson, Tom Wilkinson, Stefan Willhoit, Angharad Williams, Carly groups to become isolated, and insulated from campus life. Not surprisingly, revealed other British universities to be blushing and betowelled (or those other- pendence and gumption, not to mention Andrew Clayton, Jo Clegg, Stephen Clement, Charlotte Clements, Hazel Hotchkiss, Ashleigh Hough, Amy Houghton, Joseph Houston, Ben Howard, Owen, Jennifer Owen, Elizabeth Pal, Matthew Pallas, Theodora Panagiotou, Williams, Holly Williams, Laura Williams, Rachel Williams, Rob Williams, Tom Clilverd, Sophie Close-Smith, Monica Clua Losada, David Coates, Richard Helen Howarth, John Howarth, Jon Howdle, Chris Hoyle, Kerry Huckins, Katy Polly Pang, Georgios Papadofragkakis, Ioannis Papanikolaou, Alex Papushoy, Williams, Victoria Williams, Graham Willis, Ben Wilmott, Keith Wilson, Michael this phenomenon is mutually reinforcing, and if left to develop can cause little different from here, except with a wise caught in a state of dishabille). The the powerful strain of paranoid conser- Cockerham, Anna Cocks, Samantha Coe, Alicia Colbridge, Rachel Cole- Huckle, Nick Hudson, Sophie Hudson, Jonathan Huggins, Anna Hughes, Beth Felix Parker, Joseph Parkes, Maria Parpotta, Clare Pashley, Nicholas Patching, Wilson, Amanda Wing, Adam Wingrove, Stephanie Winnard, Sarah Witts,Tom Fletcher,Judith Connolly,Gemma Cook,Louise Cooling,Laura Cooney,Bryony Hughes,Michael Hughes, Roseann Hughes, Gina Humphreys, Beth Alan Patel, Anna Patmalniece, Leanne Patmore, Nikki Paul, Catherine Paxton, Wolstenholme,Joseph Wong,Rebecca Wood,Emily Woodcock,Niall permanant social rifts as people begin to feel they have nothing to learn from lot more self-destructive boozing and a recurrent theme of students' comments, vatism that has left successive genera- Cooper, Rebecca Cooper, Pieter Cordwell, Nadine Cotton, Faye Couret, Chris Humphries, Miranda Hungerford, Helen Hunter, Jessica Hunter, Ogtay Jennifer Payne, Joe Pearce, Sophia Pearson, Vicky Peat, Lucy Peden, Juan Woodger, Nicky Woolf, Sally Worby, Laura Wordingham, Patrick Wordsworth, Cowan, Sarah Cowin, Michael Cowley, Anthony Cox, Dicky Cox, Ashley Coxon, Huseyni, Mark Hutton, Lindsey Hyde, Ed Ingamells, Kate Ingham, Prudence Perna, Anna Perrett, Florence Perrett, Georgia Pettifar, Eleanor Phillips, Helen Mark Worrall, Hannah Wrathall, Harriet Wray, David Wressell, Jeffrey Wright, each other. Ultimately, York’s diversity should be measured not in percent- marginally lesser degree of institutional however, was the sense of security that tions of its officers incapable of putting Daniel Cratchley, Katrina Crawford, Lauren Crawley, Joanna Creed, Molly Ivey, Luisa Izzi, Michael J Maiden, David J. Allen, Jojo, Nikolaus Jacek Morris, Pickering, Rachel Pickering, Sam Pickering, Mark Pietkiewicz, Angela Pietz, Liam Wright, Owen Wright, Rose Wright, Steve Wright,Yazhuo, Claire Yeo,Won Crisp, Alison Crittenden, Katie Croft, Ben Crossland, Emily Crossland, David Daniel Jaime,Tulika Jaiswal,Ed James,Michael James,Mike James,Tim James, Rachel Pigott, Aura Piha, Rosanna Pinker, Duncan Piper, Darija Polovina, Youn, Jennifer Young, Nancy Young, Stuart Young, Bo Yu, Mung Yuen Shum, ages but in the meaningful interaction of people from all backgrounds and incompetence. And it's the latter to porters provide, and the peace of mind of up a real fight against the bureaucratic Crouch,Leo Crumbley,Josh Cryer,Sarah Cullen,Helena Culliney,Alice Curling, Sarah Jane Howat,Sarah Jane Hunt,Pete Jarrett,Mencacci Jean,Marie Jeanne Nattama Pongpairoj, Thaksa-on Ponthaworn, John Poon, James Porter, Nadia Zedan, Ying Zhang, David Zanotti, Bin Zhang , Shawn Zhao, Rachel Jonathan Dadds,Sarah Dahabiyeh,Rebecca Dainty,Caroline Dale,Tom Daltas, Kock, Hannah Jeffreson, Hannah Jeffrey, Aleksandra Jeglinska, Hanna Jehle, Jeremy Posso, Eleanor Potten, Tom Powis, Chris Price, Marie Prior, Sarah Prior, Blewitt, Charlotte Blythe, Claire Bracebridge, Matthew Brown, Nadim Buksh, ethnicities. Quota-filling does nothing to improve the quality of life of stu- which we must turn if we're looking for a friendly face when other sources of help juggernaut. As the thousand or so signa- Katherine Dalton, Chris Dalziel, Thodoris Danikas, Philip Darling, Stuart Robin Jervis, Fei Jiao, Shen Jiayang, Pei Jin, Frida Johannesdottir, Dominic Diane Propsting, DS Pugh, Li Pui Wing, Laura Purdy, Stephanie Puzey Mike Callis, Antonia Carmichael, Jeffrey Cluett, David Cockeram, David Darnley,Edmund David Van Der Byl-Knoefel,Beth Davies,Sarah Davies,Adam John Allen, Daniel Johnson, David Johnson, Sam Johnston, A. Jonathan Broomhead, Sarah Pycroft, James Quelch, Sam Quin, Sarah Quirk, Philip Conneely, Amy Coorland, Gemma Doherty, Clare Fearns, Hanna Fullerton, dents, and we should keep our attention fixed on the real objective: a the issue that has finally roused you all aren’t available. tures on this page attest, York students Davis, Philip Dawes, Steven Day, Tim Day, Halifax President, Tom Deakin, Holmes, Mr Jonathan Pye, Catrin Jones, Hannah Jones, Helen Jones, Helen Radford, Bryan Radley, Emily Rainbow, Venetia Rainey, Simon Ramsbottom, Chastaing Gaelle,Jeppe Graugaard,Silje Grayston,Alix Holland,Sharon Jones, Louise Dean, Camille Demaret,Karen Dench, Kirsty Denison,R Diaz, Katherine Jones, Laura Jones, Oliver Jones, Philippa Jones, Anna Jordan, Greg K Amy Ratcliff, Laura Ratcliff, Steven Ratcliff, Nicola Rawnsley, Phil Raymond, Victoria Julian, Jon Keating, James Keenan, Katie Kelly, Tim Lamb, Hazel University where all are welcome and all feel wanted and respected. from your bleary-eyed slumber. The Maybe there's something slightly suffer from no such delusions. Dickinson, Rosie Dickinson, Andy Dixon, Rebecca Doodson, Jessica Dooley, Nicholson, Vidya Kamath, Steven Kane, Maria Katsipataki, Reanna Keer-Keer, Nick Razzell, Kim Redgrave, Jason Reich, Laura Renwick, Emily Rice, Justin Longton, Domna Maria Michailidou, Hester Mccurdy, Jennie Meakin, Joe Dan Douglas, Helen Douglas, Kate Douglas, Simon Dove, Emma Doxat-Pratt, Dymphna Kelly, Becky Kemp, Nicole Keng, Peter Kennaugh, Christina Kenny, Rich, Graham Richard Jeal, Ed Richmond, Helen Rickerby, Louise Ridley, Meehan, Sonali Mittal, Sarah Moller, Chris Owens, Mj Palframan, Sophie Kealy Doyle, Alex Drage, Pete Dring, Kate Drummond, Martyna Drwal, John Kerris Kent, Kathleen Keshishian, Roland Kettle, Mark Keyworth, Daniel Steven Riley, Dave Roast, Katy Roberts, Stuart Roberts, Will Roberts, Nicola Parkes, Anjli Raval, Jonathan Reeds, Jack Rundell, Dawn S. McDuff, Sam Duboyski, F Duff, Katherine Duke, Imtiaz Dungarwalla, Edward Durkin, Emma Khoury, Denis Kim, Matthew King, Dan Kingsley, Natalie Kingston, Daniel Robinson, David Rodger, Holly Rodger,Tom Rogers, Anna Rohde, Nicola Rose, Sheppard, Christine Shum, Kathryn Staplton, Sharifah Suryani Malai Hj >> Sport, p. 19: Our football results tables placed the York Men’s 1sts team 5th in division 3B. They are actually placed 1st in division 4B. Many apologies. Dux, Philippa Dyson, Stephanie Dyson, David Eadie, Lewis Earl, Katherine Kipling, Elizabeth Kirby, Paul Knapp, Charly Knight, John Knight,Tanya Knight, Adam Ross, James Ross, Matthew Rowe, Gemma Rowland, William Ruddock, Abdullah, Syed, Tara, Kelly Thwaites, Jan-Willem Van Der Sijp, Cat Walker, Ebury, Allen Eccles, Aleksandrs Ecins, Jenny Edgar, Stacey Edmondson, Holly Wai-Mond Kong, Lin Kuek, Joanna Kwan, Joanna L Lysons, Chi-Chih Lien, Mi Philipp Rudiger, Cathy Rushworth, Deborah Russell, Jill Russell, Matthew Frazer Walker, Weilin Wang, Adam Wilkinson, Sophie Williama, Ellen-Marie Corrections >> Comment, p. 11: Contrary to our suggestion, Nightline has been and will remain fully open. They have also asked that we point out that they are a lis- Edwards, Katherine Edwards, Rose Edwards, Zoe Edwards, Sherine El-sayed, Lin, Matthew Lacey, Richard Lander, Richard Lane, Nancy Langfeldt-Flory, Russell, William Russell, Ed Russell-Johnson, Laura Rutter, Thomas Ruttle, Winther, Elisabeth Woollard, Bei Zhou. Sarah Elder, Katerina Eleftheriou, Katie Elliott, Amanda Ellis, Hollie Ellis, Laura, Nicholas Lay, Jimena Lazcao, Catherine Lea, Ruth Leach, Chris James Ryan, Damian S Posener, Milda Sabunaite, Lucy Saint, Charlotta Salmi, >> Collected at http://www.nouse.co.uk/openletter/ Nouse is committed to correcting all significant errors. tening service, and do not provide counselling. >> The London Olympics will be taking place in 2012. So please, don’t panic.You haven’t missed anything. >> DEREK ACORAH M4-5 >> BATTLE OF THE BANDS M12-13 SPRING WEEK SIX We chat to the spirit medium The biggest music event on campus 13 February 2007 MUSE

Behind closed doors: York’s hidden sex industry M8-10 M2 Columns 13/02/07 Muse 13.02.07 NanFlory Derek Acorah talks to dead people >> M2 Heidi Blake gets spooked out by the man and medium How to overcome a Single on Valentine’s? You’re laughing >> M6 Sara Sayeed on the rebranding of misleading moniker February 14th: Single’s Awareness Day

arlier today, I had a abbreviation – these habits brotherly baptism 'Nan' all the shock. Apparently, reflect personality. way through school. I still use it Jimmy Carr: f**king offensive >> M7 according to the My name was an accident. now, mostly. Some people think EFacebook news feed, My parents were going to call it’s an odd choice, as it can lead Natalie Carroll meets the foulest man there is such a thing as a 'Nan- me Poppy, but when junkies to confusion when people meet esque moment of shame'. started stealing the namesake me and I'm not 84 and don't in comedy - and covers her ears Someone used that exact phrase flowers from their front garden, carry a cane. For a while, as an to describe the culmination of they decided it was just too excuse, I told people I was their previous night's experi- loaded a title. Instead, they went named after Nan Goldin and Prostitution ences. What? What! How did I for Penelope, my dad because he that my parents used to hang become a shame-o-meter all of a secretly hoped I'd marry a man out with Andy Warhol. But I in York >> M8 sudden? who would bring a massive bow have realised nobody believes But perhaps I'm just being and arrow into the family, my me when I say things like that, Welook at the issues presumptuous. They might not mum because she hoped I'd and being caught in a lie is surrounding the escort have been referring to me at all. weave tapestries. And be super worse than having a name that Maybe they meant 'Nan' like chaste. means old person. business in York affectionate-term-for-a-grand- It turned out to be a tough Using Nan has supplied me mother Nan? Maybe the com- name to put into practice, how- with numerous comedy ment leaver just has a particu- ever, as my mum could never moments, like when I met a Oxfam vs. larly embarrassing gran? Maybe quite pronounce it (Pen-el-OH- friend of a friend. I told him my it's rhyming slang? pee, she used to say) and name, he told me I looked like online I don't know, but I'm trying because my big brother, only his grandma. Haha! Then I to get over it, and on a produc- one-and-a-half when I was remember the first time I met tive note, it has got me thinking born, would just respond my friend Phil's twin Paul, I shopping >> M14 about my name. (Please pay “Naaaaan” when asked to say his said, 'Hi, Phil' and Paul said, 'Oh Fashion for bargain-hunters, attention here to the fact that I new sister's name. At this point, I'm not Phil, I'm Paul.' As I did- did not try to advertise my my mother luckily ‘remembered’ n’t realised Phil had a twin, I just the old and the new Shakespeare knowledge and say, that on her side of the family, a assumed I'd been calling him "What's in a name?" - I'm above girl child is named Nancy every the wrong name for a whole year that shit. Although I might use second generation. She's always and that my stupidity had just Arts: The National Student B&R: Costcutting is as a nice little linking phrase been a one for inventing her- now become so annoying that later - indulge me). itage to make things go her way. he’d been compelled to clear up Drama Festival >> M18 Valentine’s solutions >> M23 My housemate thinks looks So Nancy it was to be. my error. The laughs multiply are the single most informing Unfortunately, they'd already exponentially when this story is Music: Explosions in the Listings: Battle of the influence on how we perceive written Penelope on my birth repeated by others than myself people. I'm not so sure. I think certificate, so I got both. and people think that it was Sky and Jarvis>> M20 Bands and Jorvik >> M24 names are important too. They It takes maturity to appre- Phil’s nan, as in his grandmoth- can tell you something about the ciate the value of a gimmick like er, who made the mistake of Film: Oscar Best Picture Science: You can’t argue family values that form a per- 'Nancy Penelope Langfeldt- thinking, for 21 years, that her son's foundations. They can tell Flory'. You know how long it twin grandsons were in fact the nominees special >> M22 with polar bears >>M 9 you something about attitudes; takes me to sign a check? A real- same person.c Also, when I was for instance if someone goes by ly long time. I always hated my working in Tang Hall Working their initials or by their sur- full name (and had trouble Men's Club for New Year 2006, I name, uses a nickname or spelling it) and adopted my bonded with the clientele by let-

‘blogosphere’, the community who write and about the record on his show - clearly some- BenTattersallSmith share journals online. There are a number of one with his eye online. dedicated music blogs where users talk about So what if you’re not feeling too adven- Getting down with the cool kids music they like and, luckily for us, put mp3s turous? You have a particular genre you like online so everyone can listen. Some other but want to explore music within that? No f it weren’t for the RSI, bed sores and my where to look. Allow me to be your guide. geeks, I mean bloggers, have taken it upon problem. Pandora (http://www.pan- slightly pungent aroma, I’d be utterly Keeping abreast of what’s going on over themselves to compile all these MP3s in one dora.com) allows you to create your own per- Iconvinced that spending a lifetime online the Atlantic is a good start for the aspiring place. If you pay a visit to Hype Machine sonal radio station. Just type in the name of is a healthy and constructive way to live scenester. The New York Times’’s podcasts (http://hype.non-standard.net) or Elbows an artist or song, and, through what can only which has turned me into the cool, trendy (http://www.nytimes.com/services/xml/rss/ (http://www.elbo.ws), you can download be magic or complex algorithms, it creates a guy I am today. Certainly, if one wants to be nyt/podcasts/musicreview.xml) and NPR’s hundreds of MP3s of the hottest new music playlist for you based on that type of music. down with the hipsters of the music scene (http://www.npr.org/programs/asc) bring for free with none of the virus risks associat- So we’ve got our new music, but what on (you know the type, they sing along to every insightful and intelligent reviews on new ed with Kazaa and the like. Elbows also pro- earth are we going to say about it when we’re song in the Toffs indie room), then keeping releases in pop and rock. Because they’re vides a chart of artists that bloggers are talk- trying hard to be cool? Song Meanings up with what’s hot online is a must these podcasts, there’s not even any reading to do. ing about the most. If a band is getting (http://www.songmeanings.net) is a website days. Easy work so far. Another short-cut is pro- blogged about a lot, chances are they are a) where users can post what they think the Sure, any old hack can tell you Arctic vided through metacritic (http://www.meta- pretty good and b) destined for big things. lyrics of a song mean. Some people just write Monkeys were discovered on the net and got critic.com/music). This website compiles The Hold Steady are a band I heard bollocks, but every so often you find some big through Myspace, but look a little further reviews from all over the media, both print about online and, upon listening, discovered pretty insightful comments. and a whole universe of music is open to you, and online, and averages the reviews albums them to be ace (think a modern version of There it is - instant cool, and all just a much of it destined to bubble up to the main- get into an overall percentage score. classic Springsteen). Last week, lo and few clicks away. Now if only the internet stream. It’s really just a case of knowing Next on our itinerary is the much-hyped behold, Radio 1’s Colin Murray was raving could make me a better dancer. 13/02/07 Columns M3

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Thurston Fayre of Norfolk has, once again, held its annual competition for the most amusing winter vegetable. The usual carrots-shaped-like-willies cropped up, of course, but there was also a beetroot in the shape of the Pope, an aubergine that bore an uncanny resemblance to Jade Goody and a potato shaped like the House of Lords. A Jerusalem artichoke ‘shaped like the cast of ‘Neighbours’ saying grace in front of an enor- mous pork pie’ was the winner.

Mumbai bus conductor Sanjit Seewa was in court last week, charged with manslaughter and gross negligence. He was training an apprentice driver of a Karnataka Omnibus Company double-decker when he mistakenly directed his stu- dent to steer into an overhead power line, electrocuting the trainee and a local seller of rare frogs. Strangely, Seewa escaped entirely unhurt. “The deaths of two people are direct- ly attributable to the fact that you are such a bad conductor”’ said the judge, who could not resist adding: “This is presum- ably the reason why you yourself were not electrocuted.”

Belinda Carthus of Arthog became so exasperated by her hus- band’s 10 years of infidelity that her patience finally snapped and she pushed his car into the River Dovey. Or, at least, what she thought to be his car – the vehicle in question actually ting them all call me Nan belonged to a neighbour, who angrily told police that his (now Bread. That was the best. former) car was totally different to Mr. Carthus’s. In fact, it was So it’s not so bad, but I am Bringing sexy back to York a different make, model – even a different colour. “I was angry a little worried if ‘Nan’'s mean- and confused,” said Mrs Carthus. “Love does that to you.” ings now include social suicide. think I’ve discovered the secret of later. You can tell people that you see What if next time I meet the sexy dressing; it was revealed at dressing up as, say, a big old rock star Englishman John Cooling’s enterprising business venture in friend of a friend of a friend IFriday’s Battle of the Bands heat. as a strict ideological commitment. Colombo was seen to be failing last week. Having observed the and introduce myself, they What you have to do, if you want to Misrepresentation can be a dangerous success of curry houses in Britain, Cooling emigrated to Sri move seats, worried I might show some skin, is make the whole thing, and if Axel Rose wore Lycra Lanka and established a number of restaurants serving tradi- vomit on/grope/bore them? thing seem incidental - accidental then, dammit, so must I! If Lycra is tional English foods. Since handing control of the franchise to Maybe I should start using my even. So, instead of undoing your top not so much a choice as an obligation, a local chef, Cooling has witnessed the mutation of his original full legal title. It could be like a four shirt buttons to show off your people won’t think you’re being cocky, menu into a frightening smorgasboard of soundalikes. coming of age thing, and who lovely chest, just get a shirt that does- just dutiful. The sexy bit is merely a Customers may now choose from ‘scrambuls of the egges’, knows, people might start tak- n’t have the buttons in the first place. happy coincidence that didn’t even ‘Hole in the Road’ and ‘full english brekfast with saugages, fries ing me seriously? Even better, have someone give cross your mind when you were gazing bred, cookies tomato mushpooms and also much to have toast.’ Since Romeo and Juliet you such a shirt as a present. That way into the looking glass – only to spot both die at the end of the play, you can be all coy, like, “I got this shirt anachronisms, of course. Conservationist Rich Arkwright was arrested at the National it could be argued that, actual- for my birthday and it’s just such nice It works because people don’t feel History Museum of Aberdeen this week after a tirade about ly, there is quite a lot in a name, material and I don’t want to offend my like they’re being drawn in. No one the treatment of specimens in the collection. Arkwright’s web- since having the wrong one friends by not wearing it. It’s a shame likes sexiness when it’s being forced site alleged that “there is depression amongst arachnids”, might get you killed. But hey, I it doesn’t have any buttons up at the upon them. They like to feel they’ve “pupa are kept like battery chikens” and “the fungi are not could have been stuck with top here, but if you can cope with my independently spotted a beautiful hapy”. His visit to the museum – accompanied by two hun- Poppy and turned out to be chest then I suppose I can too.” Skin quality that comes from within, not as dredweight of live maggots – was perhaps unsurprising. His some kind of ugly sentinel for without the sin – SEX! if they’ve had pheromones sprayed in insistence on assaulting the curator and instructing her to about a thousand Notting Hill Another thing you can do to this their faces. So no more excuses please, ‘Live! Live like the maggots!’ before throwing them at a dis- toddlers. Once again, be thank- end is wear Lycra and just pretend University of York, let’s bring sexy abled steward was rather unexpected though. Arkwright was ful for the small things. you’re going to a fancy dress party back. arrested on numerous charges. ‘F*cking earthworm freak- show!’ he yelled to startled onlookers, as police led him away.

dead gorgeous seemed the perfect at”. He then tenderly enquired as to in casual sex. As I traipsed home, The grimy side recipient for my newly liberated sex- the prominence of my gag reflex. sniffling, I determined not to let such ual energy. Not being your tradition- After assuring him this was long a minor setback put me off. I must of seduction al no-kiss-til-the-third-date kind of gone, I got down to what I assumed admit, however, that this particular a girl (if, in fact, any of those do still to be the first bout of foreplay. I was, episode has made a minor dent in my aving escaped from the exist), we ended up back at his therefore, a little surprised when he sexual idealism. inadequate fellow discussed Fulford residence after the first expelled his population paste into my When did sex stop being fun? I Hin the previous instalment, evening together. mouth after mere minutes. It was remember the halcyon days when sex I eagerly awaited a renaissance in He dimmed the lights, poured us thus that I discovered a novel, if was about more than bodily fluids, the bedroom arena. After weeks of a glass of wine each and stuck on rather unpleasant, third way between alarming noises and penile abnor- submitting to the selfish tendencies some Kenny G, leading me to believe spit and swallow. As jets of ejaculate mality. Perhaps I’ve simply matured of a man, I felt myself entitled to pur- some serious romance was in the spurted from my nostrils, there fol- over the course of my university sue the satisfaction of my own pipeline. Contrary to my expec- lowed an awkward pause as I realised career. Sex in Toffs and being walked sexual appetite. I threw myself tations, however, he whipped that sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. in on by cleaners and porters just into my new-found freedom out what I believe is com- At least he was gentleman enough to doesn’t cut it in the excitement with gusto. monly referred to in trashy lend me his hankey. stakes anymore. I’ve come to the I acquired a date with romance novels (and KFC My sexual ambitions once again conclusion that I should, perhaps, yet another seemingly reviews) as his throb- thwarted, I began to ponder whether broaden my carnal horizons. Older prominent man and had bing member, and there is a happy – and gratifying – men? Other women? Both at the high hopes for his sex- declared, “I know it’s medium between the routine of rela- same time? I’ve resolved to explore ual prowess. Mike, pretty, baby, but it’s tionship-bound sex and the high these options and will report back 22, GSOH and drop- not just for looking potential for embarrassment implicit next time. M4 Interview 13/02/07 ‘To the true believer, no evidence is necessary’

Derek Acorah is the country’s leading spirit medium and ‘paranormal investigator’. Heidi Blake watches his York show and talks to him about the ‘world of spirit’,his ability to see into the future and his 1500 year-old Ethiopian spirit guide, Sam

erek Acorah, the UK's leading tribute to a general impression of gim- tion. But if you didn't have time out, if ‘full-time spirit medium’, has ‘Derek assures me that a mickry and charade. However, Derek, you were continually linked to the brought his roadshow to standing on stage in a simple black world of spirit, that would be a hell DYork, and the Grand Opera terrorist attack on Britain is suit, is almost devoid of affectation; far state to live in.” house is packed to the rafters; alive more natural in person than the the- Speaking of hell, I felt bound to with nervous chatter. A banner across atrics of his trade suggest. Earlier, ask what Derek's take is on the great the bottom of the stage reads, in gothic imminent, and the royal family when I had asked him what he would enigmas of the universe. Is there an script: “To the believer no proof is nec- say to someone who called him a fraud, afterlife? A God and a Satan? He essary. To the non-believer no proof is murdered Princess Diana’ he had responded: “Well, people have, chuckled nochalently when I put these possible.” A water-tight disclaimer if and they continue to do so. That's of no grand mysteries to him. “Well, there are ever there was one. Overhead, on a um”, operating with the help of his worry to me, because I know that we're different dimensions and different large plasma screen, pseudo-eerie clips ‘spirit guide’ Sam, apparently an all here on different missions of pro- realms of the world of spirit. So there's from Derek’s new LIVINGtv show, acquaintance from a former life in gression. I don't scoff at cynical minds: a bottom realm, which in religion ‘Ghost Towns’, flash across the screen. Ethiopia some 1500 years ago. I show them the respect that they would be called a hell, which houses As the house lights are replaced by Speaking to me before the show, Derek deserve, however they might not be in the not-so-goods, the ones who've done swirling disco colours, an expectant told me that he first tapped into his my direction. That's of no conse- horrible things in human time. You hush falls over the audience, and as a skills as a medium when he was six, quence: I've got the responsibility of can't really separate a heaven from a deep American voice when his late grandfather visited him maybe understanding a little bit more hell, because they're in the same area. boomingly invites us to at night. It was not till later, however, than themselves, because they are not The hell as we are taught in organised “sit back and allow the that he made contact with Sam and ready to accept yet.” religion, being down down down in this only modern-day fully realised his vocation. When I As Derek begins to communicate chasm type thing with fire and stuff, is Merlin to impart asked him about the nature of his rela- through Sam with the spirits which not real. Our guardian ruler or God has paranormal infor- tionship with his spirit guide he told apparently manifest themselves on the created this realm, but it's the lowest mation you never me that it extends into his personal life stage before him, he speaks of them to realm in the world of spirit and in the thought possible!”, as well as being a key part of his work. the audience in such a matter-of-fact uppermost realm are the people who've Derek Acorah strolls “Sometimes I speak to him when I need way as to lend an air of sincerity to pro- done wonderful things. It takes a long onto the stage. something answering, or when I've got ceedings, albeit against the odds. One time to be in that top realm - it's like lit- Derek is a self- something playing on my thoughts, lady who appears to him is described erally being at the right hand side of styled “full time and he's the first person I turn to. He's awkwardly as “a bonny lady. Not heavy God. But there's no Satan.” spirit medi- always constantly around, not always set, but…you know”, all this accompa- I was intrigued by the grave sin- showing himself, not always speaking nied by voluptuous hand movements. cerity with which Derek reeled off this to me, but he's there. Next to my wife Later, when he tells us that a middle- ostentatious if convoluted theory, and he's the closest soul to me. He's a aged man has appeared before him, he was driven to ask him, perhaps cheeki- friend, he's a father figure, he's my exclaims “Blimey! He's a big chap! ly, if he was able to deduce something mentor, he's someone that I can rely on Huge shoulders!” There is something about me which he couldn't possibly in every role.” curiously anodyne about the messages know naturally. He did not appear Now, trundling through his well- these spirits have apparently come to impressed by this request, and told me honed preamble at centre stage in a convey; several of them being largely sternly, “Well no, of course not, because melee of coloured light and eerie concerned with DIY. One ghostly I'd have to tune in first. All the time music, Derek's speech is punctuated by apparition brings the message that the you're in contact with that world interjections from Sam, which he regis- plumbing in an audience member's there's a certain drainage, and Sam and ters with a hint of irritation, muttering house is faulty and needs to be I are going to do a show tonight, so I'm “thank you, Sam”, and “yes, I'll get to repaired, while a visiting father is con- saving all my energy for those people that, give me a minute!” He begins cerned that his son in law is not keep- who've paid for tickets to come in.” addressing the audience softly, ing on top of the garden. It's hard to Slightly abashed, I asked him if he informing us that there is “a supreme decide if the banality of these messages knows his own destiny. His response to place designated for us all, and our testifies to their veracity or otherwise. this was more interesting. “That's loved ones that have gone before: a Certainly, contrary to the over-stated mainly hidden from me, but I do know realm of light and beauty.” His tone theatrics surrounding him, Derek is of one event which will happen in and heightens when he declares, with not interested in putting on a thrilling around my 63rd birthday. At that time apparent indignation, “I'm always sur- show. I believe I'll be working a lot in Canada prised at the number of cynical and One thing which seems apparent and America, and the plane I go on will sceptical minds who, when you're hav- is that, however dubious the process come down in icy water. I'm going to be ing a perfectly normal conversation occurring on stage may appear to an one of three survivors on that plane.” I about the afterlife, completely reject impartial observer, Derek himself is asked him how he deals with the bur- the fact that there is a world of spirit!” resolute in his belief. When I had asked den of such knowledge. “When I was Derek To begin with, it is hard not to be him earlier whether his preoccupation told that many years ago, I asked why Acorah is cynical about the integrity of Derek's with the ‘world of spirit’ ever infringed they had to tell me that. I mean, how the UK’s work, an impression which is exacer- upon his personal life, he had told me: am I going to handle it? What do I do? bated by the elaborate showmanship of “If you allowed it to I suppose it could When I get to that point in time do I leading the production. The swirling coloured do, but I've practiced the discipline for just not get on a plane? Do I stand in spirit lights, booming American voice-over a long time, and my lovely wife and my the queue and tell everyone 'It's going medium and dramatic clips on screen con- family understand that this is my voca- to come down, don't get on it?’ Many 13/02/07 Interview M5

Want more Acorah?

Derek Acorah’s Amazing Psychic Stories Harper, 2006, £7.99 Our favourite medium provides an insight into his spiritual escapades with a series of tales of real-life ghostly encounters and rescues. Derek answers those burning questions we all harbour about the nature of the afterlife and the intricacies of spirit visitations.

Most Haunted Top 50 Moments www.livingtv.co.uk/mosthaunted If you’re hankering after another look at your favourite Derek adventures, LIVINGtv is now pro- viding a download service of the top 50 Most Haunted moments.

Most Haunted Series 9 LIVINGtv, Tuesdays 9pm Derek and the intrepid gang return for a ninth series of ghost-chasing. The show tracks the progress of the spiritual adventurers as they travel to various locations around the country, tapping their psychic reserves as they go.

Psychic SMS Readings 84010, £1.50 per reply If you’ve got a pressing spiritual matter, text ‘tarot’ and then your query to receive advice from a clair- voyant. “It’s a little like having your own personal Angel in your pocket”, says Derek.

‘The show is not all banality. Some people seem genuinely moved and reassured by the messages they receive’

Derek Acorah ing now” says Derek. “But you won't be provides when you hear the footsteps.” At psychic another point, while Derek is relaying readings at his messages to a woman from a spirit she does not recognise, another member of live tour, the audience pipes up excitedly informed by “Excuse me Derek, I think that's my his spirit guide Grandmother you've got there!” Irked Sam by this, Derek bellows back “No! No things, but I came to absolute content- young son who needed a bone-marrow The show itself is not all banality it's not! I'd know if it was for you. You ment with it when I realised the pur- transplant. “I saw with my own eyes the and DIY. There are moments when can't steal other people's messages!” pose behind these things: if on that spirit working through healing, and his members of the audience seem gen- There are many things one could say plane of 179 passengers, 176 have to whole leg, which needed bone marrow uinely moved by the messages they about Derek Acorah, but it would be perish, it is because they have all or whatever, was healed without any receive. One woman is told that her hard to question the strength of his reached their time, they are ready to operation. It was complete wonder- grandmother has returned to help her convictions. pass over to the world of spirit. I don't ment to my eyes - it was the greatest resolve a dilemma which is troubling Derek winds up the show with an go over, and two other people, because thing I'd ever seen.” Slightly more zani- her. The woman's face lights up, and impassioned plea to “unbelievers” to it's not our time. Why do you think it is ly, the other example he cited was of she asks excitedly: “Does she know the accept the “world of spirit” into their that when a plane comes down, or in a rescuing the spirit of a young woman dilemma is about her? Is it true what lives. “You can reject it as often as you car accident a handful of passengers which had been trapped for hundreds they've been saying?” Her relief is evi- like, but if you keep searching, I prom- will survive? Why? Well, there's your of years in a pub and tortured by the dent when Derek replies, “No, it is not ise that you will be given proof that answer.” Derek also casually imparts a ghost of its former landlord. “Oh, it was true. You can put that out of your mind you're eternal.” Then, amidst almost couple of extra pearls of psychic wis- a nightmare” says Derek, in a long-suf- now.” Others seem reassured to be told rapturous applause, Derek strides off dom, in a kind of “here's one I made fering tone. “I had to separate the two that their loved ones are present and the stage, calling over his shoulder for earlier” gesture. He tells me that a ter- of them; I finally sent the lovely young looking over them. Derek becomes vis- Sam to follow him. Looking around at rorist attack on England is imminent lady, who he'd strangled and raped over ibly frustrated when the spirits with the faces of the applauding audience, and vows that the Royal Family was and over, to heaven. Then I asked for whom he is conversing are not recog- most appear to be lit up with belief, responsible for the death of Princess him to be taken to the lowest region of nised by anyone in the audience. “They though some are sniggering behind Diana. the world of spirit, where he could be get terribly upset when they're reject- their hands. It's difficult to explain Well, that's as maybe, but I felt the properly dealt with. He had been con- ed” he tells us. “How would you feel if away the accuracy of some of tonight’s need to ask what Derek feels he is tinuing to torment her in the spirit you came back from another world and messages, though it's also hard to achieving by “championing the world form, it must have been absolutely ter- nobody wanted to know you?” One shake off the impression of a lone man of spirit”, as he describes it. He cites rible for her. But she was so so happy man in the audience who refuses to talking animatedly to an empty stage. two examples of times when he really that we helped her, and that the angels believe the messages received by his Either way, however outlandish felt his vocation was worthwhile. He had come and taken her to her rightful wife is told that her returning relatives Derek's beliefs may be, the sincerity of told me he was contacted by a mother place in the world of spirit.” So appar- will be visiting him in the dead of night his faith in the ‘world of spirit’ is there who asked him to find a healer for her ently it is all worth while, after all. to prove their existence. “You’re laugh- for all to see. M6 Feature 13/02/07 Valentine’s Day: what’s love got to do with it? The chubby cherub’s cross-bow hasn’t made Sara Sayeed feel warm and fuzzy this February 14th. She asks whether people really have to say it with flowers and cards

indow-shopping has lost chocolates and impromptu trips to its charm for me. These Venice and you’ve got yourself a multi- days, whenever I turn my squillion dollar conglomerate. Whead to wistfully gaze at The pent up resentment over the Office’s newbies, I end up getting commercial frenzy has found an outlet smacked in the face by an obese cherub in a number of boycott ventures. There threatening to “spread the love” or else is ‘Canada’s Largest Singles Anti- skewer me with a cross-bow. Honestly, Valentine's Bash’, the ‘lovers-go-to die’ I think I’ll go for the latter, take a leaf party against couples, and of course, out of St. Valentine’s book and just Singles Awareness Day. The latter, cele- impale myself. brated on the 15th, involves singles giv- Granted, I’m not one for gooey ing gifts to one another in celebration feelings; however neither am I averse of their unattached status. to that whole ‘love’ concept. What both- Unfortunately, according to Wikipedia, ers me about Valentine’s Day is that its “the day is often used by less friendly ceaseless onslaught of all things pink couples to simply remind the singles and fuzzy has destroyed my savoured about their current, uninvolved status”. perusals and turned my typically I suppose it doesn’t really help that it rational friends into raving cynics. forms the acronym SAD either. Frankly, it’s an inconvenience; suffered The rife anti-Valentine’s day mer- by the people and capitalised upon by chandise which has recently cropped the Hallmark moguls, it really makes up presents a more chirpy front. you ponder, ‘what’s love got to with it?’ Websites such as cafepress.com offer Before you hastily brand me a bit- everything from t-shirts to boxer- ter singleton, take note that most shorts emblazoned with pictures of Valentine’s Day angst is suffered by the cupid and the words ‘Shoo! You little coupled ones. My housemate who’s bastard’ or slogans such as: ‘If it weren’t been in a near two year-long relation- for you, I’d be a different person. Maybe ship, commented: “Valentine's Day and even happy.’ all who revel in it should be locked However, all the buoyant away in a room where they can inflict Valentine’s bashing has been sucked their joy on each other. If I have to cel- dry by the greeting card industry. ebrate one more stupid Valentine's Day American Greetings now offer a pletho- with another bouquet of flowers I am ra of ‘novelty’ and ‘funny’ valentines. going to make the guy eat it”. Later, I took place in Paris on 14 February and chocolate, the most physical con- Out with the AG’s chief shopper Shannon Coulstan sceptically relayed the story to another 1400, with the establishment of ‘The tact you’ll actually be able to stand is a trash: gifts has ominously commented: “everyone's paired-off friend and suggested that High Court of Love’. The court was cre- belly rub. Thus console yourselves, fel- owning a piece of Valentine’s Day”. really, underneath it all, Valentine’s Day ated to deal with violence against low singletons, with the knowledge that don’t always go Suddenly the jingle ‘be mine’ has might actually be quite nice when women, fickle married knights running the kinkiest Valentine’s Day actually down well on assumed a whole new meaning. you’re in a relationship. She, however, off with swooning damsels - essentially gets is a rosy-flushed commercial orgy. Valentine’s Day. The problematic ethos that all this exclaimed: “What, are you serious? It’s basic domestic squabbles. On a con- And what a non-exclusive orgy it Photos: Georgi anti-Valentine’s jumble propagates is a f***ing hurdle - like there isn’t temporary Valentine’s Day, couples are has become. There was a time when the Mabee venerating it as so significant that some already enough to deal with in a rela- not without their share of moral quan- monopoly on Valentine’s Day parapher- form of involvement is compulsory. tionship. It’s a case of ‘does he want to daries. According to Legalmatch.com, Whether it’s dinner with your boy- or do something? Do I want to do some- divorces, prenuptial agreements and girlfriend or heading to Ziggys with a thing? Should I ask?’” annulments spike around Valentine's ‘Console yourselves, fellow tub of gin-infused Ben and Jerrys in Not so warm and fuzzy then. Day — 36%, 28% and 21% respectively one hand and a wallet of VK-bound Buying suitable presents is a particu- in 2005. On a more familiar note, if singletons: the kinkiest cash in the other, everyone has to have larly fraught issue: what if one person your boyfriend shows up at your door a slice of the proverbial heart-shaped spends more than the other? Is the obscured by foliage, the initial response pie. Singletons feel compelled to drown depth of your love going to be meas- is probably one of embarrassment at Valentine’s actually gets is a their sorrows with a bottle of Pinot and ured by the depth of your pocket? not having come up with the goods a cackle of girlfriends raging about why Another friend has decided to throw yourself. Sure, there is always opportu- rosy-flushed commercial orgy’ “boys suck”. One particularly acerbic caution to the wind and buy her nity to com- online blog lamented, “Valentine's Day boyfriend a pork pie – however, she is pensate later nalia was tastefully retained within is like herpes: just when you think it’s attempting to bribe the baker into fash- on but, as the Thornton’s/Clinton’s/flower shop gone for good, it rears its ugly head ioning a heart-shaped version. my house- circle – not so anymore. A tentative once more. No wonder some people Unfortunately, the high street isn’t mate example is Wetherspoons’s witty and prefer to call it VD”. For a day dedicat- much help. While gleefully adorning reminds me, wonderful Valentine’s meal deal: two ed to those pricked by the arrow of itself with shiny red decorations, it fails after all the steaks for £9.99 with the tagline ‘Love Love, really it seems to induce more to realise the psychological anxieties wine, food me tender’. With this extent of com- piqued and prickling sensations. loaded upon its would-be consumers: mercial exploitation, it is no wonder The question, it would seem, is not “One week to go! Don’t forget!” in bold Even some that my friend Mariella has demand- whether you believe in or enjoy pink lettering is hardly soothing. couples ed, “Whoever sainted that bugger Valentine’s Day, but rather whether Instead of creating an opportunity to are should be shot!” there is any way to actually avoid it. express love, Valentine’s Day is more a The Greeting Card Association When St. Valentine jumped on a log reminder of the tedious obligations rubbishing approximates that one billion fire and martyred himself, I wonder if that come with a relationship. romance Valentines are sent out anually; plac- he had any idea of the excruciating Significantly, one of the first public ing it a nose ahead of Christmas in the Catch-22 situation he was leaving in his acknowledgments of Valentine’s Day card-selling stakes. Add all the wine, wake. 13/02/07 Interview M7 Not for the easily offended

Natalie Carroll talks to the comedy legend that is Jimmy Carr about his tour, political correctness and his lack of a moral compass

immy Carr is one of Britain’s most original and distinctive comedi- ans on television, radio, stage and Jthe big screen. His successes include a British Comedy Award for guys in the office put it together - so I ‘Best Stand Up Tour’, A LAFTA award watched it back and hadn't remem- for ‘Funniest Man’ and a Rose D’Or bered any of it. I kept thinking, ‘Oh, I Nomination for ‘Best Game Show’. He should write that down. That's a good has recently embarked on a mammoth joke’,” he says. “Then there's a DVD - a 10-month tour, arriving in York on 8 box set of the last two live DVDs that April. I've done that's pretty good. ‘If you own When asked what his audience the other DVDs, don't buy it’ is the mes- should expect, he laughs. “It’s not for sage. It's the same thing again.” the easily f**king offended,” he Carr’s influences are varied, rang- explains. “It’s not even for people who ing from seminal US comedians are difficult to offend. Essentially it’s for Stephen Wright and Emo Phillips to people who are without a moral com- black American stand-ups Dave pass.” Carr has caused controversy in Chappelle and Chris Rock. “It's a weird the past with some of his more outra- thing, but my sort of taste in comedy geous and politically incorrect jokes, tends to be quite far away from what I but he is unapologetic in his approach. Jimmy Carr’s do,” he confesses. “I've been influenced “In terms of taste and decency I think activities in by TV and media - I don't have a great you can say pretty much anything in a 2007 include attention span. I get bored quite easily. comedy show. I think being Politically his Gag Reflex So the biggest influence on my comedy Correct is important if you are a doctor tour and his is boredom. I think: ‘I'll say something or a lawyer or a policeman or you work funny. I won't make it into a long story. for social services or any of these impor- new book The I'll say it as quickly as possible and then tant jobs in society where people are Naked Jape I'll move on to the next thing’. So there relying on you. But as a comic, I say are lots of little bite-sized chunks in my rude things and offensive things and it's him nicely. “People like going out on fans, I’m somewhat surprised. “When act.” He also admits to being influenced not for everyone.” Friday and Saturday,” he explains. you meet people after a gig, you often by general conversations with his He clearly enjoys the freedom that “Wherever you are in the country - meet the same people two years in a row friends. “I love people coming up and his role as a comedian allows him, and Weston-Super-Mare on a Tuesday night and bizarrely you kind of remember telling me jokes. I think that's what as proof discloses some of the material - it's difficult to get people out. They’re some of them. It's like ‘Oh, hello. Been jokes are,” he says. “The best thing you that he deems so offensive: “I tour every thinking: 'Hang on, ‘CSI:Miami’ is on. well?’ Or the heckler from last year can do with a comedy DVD is invite year and this year it is called Gag Reflex What you talking about? I'm not going heckles again. It's quite a nice thing”. A three or four mates over, get a pizza and but for no real reason - anyone who has out.’ So it's nice to go out when people man who has been termed ‘No.1 on the some drinks and watch it. It's a great come to see the show before will know are out in a good mood on a Friday Comedy Offender’s List’ is bound to night. There's no substitute for having that it's just a long list of jokes,” he says. night. They've got out of work, they've receive a few heckles, but one night in other people around you. It's weird how “It's quite funny, but there’s no real had a few drinks, they are going to a particular stands out for him: “I was in social laughter is. You laugh with other theme to it. There's no method in my show. Saturday is the same. They’re Belfast, with a cool audience. I walked people.” madness. It's just 45 minutes in the first on and people said, “f*** off”. I went: It’s this genuine love of comedy half and then 45 minutes to an hour in ‘Hang on. You've paid to see me. This is and laughter that has encouraged him the second half. It does exactly what it “My show’s not for the easily crazy’. And they went: ‘Well, we're quite to write The Naked Jape, due out in says on the tin for a comedy show, aggressive’. They were a great audience.” November. He discusses it with honesty which I quite like”. f**king offended, or even for Carr seems to take criticism in his and enthusiasm. “I thought I would Carr’s show traditionally begins at stride, choosing instead to concentrate write it because I’d be very interested in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. “There's on those who enjoy his work. Indeed, reading it”, he says. “It's quite a labour a new one every year, which I write for the hard-to-offend. It’s only for Carr has many fans in both the public of love. I tried to make it a joke book the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and then and the media. The Independent has too. I've got 400 jokes in the book, as tour that basically for the whole year,” those without a moral compass” described him as being ‘a world-class well as all the essays on different ele- he says. With a tour of more than 90 comedian’ and ‘one of the most polished ments of jokes and where they come shows, and his regular appearances on really fun days to do it. There are a few performers in the business.’ He’s cer- from, the history and anthropology and television, one wonders how Carr fits in Sundays in there and again Sundays are tainly known as one of the most hard- stuff.” But, says Jimmy, he was careful all his commitments. “I can only really great. You've only got to be funnier than working comedians on the circuit, and not to over-analyse comedy too much tour on Fridays and Saturdays because Heartbeat. Nothing to beat on a Sunday this year sees the release of his first two when writing the book. “There's a great of the TV stuff and other bits and bobs night.” stand-up DVDs repackaged in a box- quote in the book from a French guy, to do with writing and stuff that I do The Guardian has recently set, a DVD featuring the best bits of ironically, who said: ‘Analysing comedy during the week, so I go on Friday and described Carr as “a comedy hero for ‘Eight out of Ten Cats’ and a book about is like dissecting a frog. No one is that Saturdays all the way through the year.” our times, and the exposure he has jokes called The Naked Jape. He is interested and the frog died,’” he says. As exhausting as this sounds, he is received in the last few years has made proud of his work, and happy to discuss On that cheerful note, Carr ends, but adamant that he loves his job. The him a household name. So when he his new releases. “‘The Eight Out of Ten you can be certain we’ll be seeing much scheduling of his shows seems to suit talks about how he likes to meet his Cats’ DVD is pretty fun actually. The more of him during 2007. M8 In-depth 13/02/07 Life behind closed doors:

hen I asked Corinne, an Prostitution has been been much discussed recently, in both the escort working in Yorkshire, which image media and Parliament. However, there is far more to the industry Wshe thought was most commonly brought to mind by the term 'prostitute', her answer was unequivo- than street-walking and drug addiction, as Heidi Blake finds out cal. “People think of a mucky young girl, on drugs, standing on a street cor- ner in a dirty area”, she said. “But that's a misconception.” The issue of prostitu- tion has been brought to the forefront of the public consciousness in recent months, not least by the lurid media coverage of the murders of five women working in the industry in Ipswich in December of last year. The Home Office consultation paper 'Paying the Price', published in 2006, pointed to “organised criminality, including traf- ficking and substantial drug-misuse, and sexually transmitted infection” as being central problems associated with prostitution. In the then Home Secretary David Blunkett's foreword to the paper, he claimed that it is “vulner- ability and need for affection” which leads women to becoming “trapped in a web of fear and deceit in which drug addiction, prostitution and responding to the demands of pimps becomes a way of life”. The attention of the government, lobby-groups and the media is almost exclusively preoccupied with street- prostitution. Those who oppose the legalisation of the industry largely do so on the basis that it is inextricably linked with crime, exploitation and social nuisance. However, in the course of the debate, little attention is paid to the sort of prostitution carried out by well-resourced, educated women behind the closed doors of private resi- dences and hotels. “My rationale for doing this tells you it’s been calculated. I’ve found myself in a situation and made it something positive”

One needs only to scratch the sur- face of the industry to discover that the sex trade in Britain today is not all about the drugs, desperation and exploitation which has become synony- mous with the highly-visible street- based brand of prostitution. Hidden away behind carefully worded, chic websites and glossy advertisements exists a world of “high-class” prostitu- tion, beyond the range of vision of cam- paigning groups and government con- sultations. I spoke to four women working as what they called “high-class escorts”; all of whom had turned away from mainstream careers in favour of prosti- tution, three of whom had a degree. Each was adamant that she had never Most women taken drugs, and had not been driven working as into prostitution by external pressure prostitutes in or financial necessity. So, if not desper- ation or deprivation, what was it that York operate led these four educated, well-resourced from private and intelligent women to choose to sell residences their bodies as a profession? The con- 13/02/07 In-depth M9 the hidden York sex trade

cept might seem anathema to many, cerned. I personally don't feel associat- but is it possible they might have made ed at all with the poor girls walking the a positive, informed choice? streets of Ipswich. I've never taken a Adeline was bright, articulate and drug in my life, I don't even smoke cig- disarmingly frank throughout our con- arettes and I drink very little alcohol, versation. She told me she had first so I don't do it to feed any kind of started working as an escort while habit. I just do it because I like sex, and studying for a degree in Business I like pleasing men, and I know there Management at Leeds Metropolitan are a lot of men out there whose wives University several years ago. “As with or partners don't provide what they most students, I was skint,” she said. “I want, so I just think I'm providing a thought about getting a part time job nice service for gentlemen who can't and having to work 10-15 hours a week get it anywhere else.” and still fitting in all my uni. work as Melissa started working as a pros- well, but when I weighed that up titute after giving up a career in nurs- against only having to do one or two ing. “It was the 13 hour shifts that did hours escort work and getting as much it. I wanted to have a few more experi- money, if not more, it just made more ences in my life, and I absolutely love financial sense. It's not that I love sex it. I built a basic website and took it or anything, but you’d be surprised from there. I never really expected the how many students do this when phone to ring, but it did. I've never, they’ve got debts to pay.” ever, ever had a bad experience. She told me that she always Everyone is obviously a different per- intended to use her degree to get a job sonality, but I've never come across in management, so I asked her why it someone nasty or arrogant, everyone's is that she is still working as an escort been a true gent.” some years after graduating. “When I On her website, Melissa describes graduated, I got a job working part- herself as a “dominatrix” and promises Photos posed time in management, so I was able to she will “use your dreams and fantasies by a model, gain that extra experience while doing to enter with you into a world of sexual and taken by my escort work as well, which I've exploration, domination and fantasy”, Georgi Mabee. added to my previous experience and claiming, rather surprisingly for a for- Names have my degree to improve my prospects. I mer-nurse, “I like to humiliate, watch was also able to use the money from you crawl and grovel, I like to push you been changed my escort work to pay off my student to your limits, to see how far you will go to protect loans, because I didn't want to start my for me.” However, she insists that she is identities working life again saddled with debt. not selling sex. “I never ever, ever get It was never a career path for me, but I paid for having sex. If, as two consent- work is the scrapings off your boots, have made quite a lot of money from it: ing adults, that is something that hap- although in reality the people I've met I own my own home and I've been able pens during that time together then who do this are usually very, very nice to have it all refurbished. I've also fine, but I have to be in agreement as people. Articulate, honest, kind, intel- bought an apartment to let and I'm in much as the other person, and I always ligent, law-abiding people. What the the process of signing a contract to do make that clear to every and every media portrays is a terrible thing.” some virtual PA work which fits in client.” Melissa insisted that “being a with my part-time work. Eventually Corinne became an escort shortly prostitute and being an escort are a that will be enough to sustain me, and after she began to appear in adult films million miles apart. I've never taken I'll be able to slowly pack up the escort and photographs. Before that, she had drugs in my life; that wasn't the pull work and stop doing it altogether. My owned her own business for 20 years. for me. I don't meet someone and have rationale for doing it tells you that it is She told me “I'd done some modelling sex in a car. That would never enter my not about some pimp pushing me, it's before when I was younger, but films head. There are a lot of gentlemen out been quite calculated. Not in a devious weren't something I was interested in, there who just want a lady to take for way, but I've found myself in a situa- although I'd had a lot of offers. But I dinner, have a chat or a kiss and cuddle tion and I've made something positive was having a set of raunchy photo- with. Sex isn't a foregone conclusion. out of that.” positive about the work as Denise and That's how it differs. I don't feel associ- Adeline told me that the thing she Melissa. “At the end of the day, a lot of ated at all with the poor girls who walk finds most difficult about her work is “Prostitution is prostitution, the time you're an actress. With many the streets in Ipswich.” the secrecy it requires: “The thing I of the people that you see, you like However, Adeline does not per- really don't like about it is that my whether you’re on the street spending time with them, but you may ceive such a world of difference. family and friends don't know what I not like doing what you're doing with “Prostitution is prostitution, whether do. You have to have a cover story, and them, because you may want to spend you stand on the street corner or you're I don't like that because I wasn't corner or you’re an escort. a bit more time getting to know them what's deemed to be a ‘high-class brought up to lie to anybody, let alone first. Some of the time you really don't escort’. But clearly women standing on my family.” You’re still being paid for sex” want to be with the people you're with, the street are open to a whole lot of Denise told me that she made the but that's what you do. But the majori- abuses. They're quite vulnerable and decision to launch a career as an escort ty of time you're enjoying it. If some- they're exploited. late in life, having first secured the graphs taken for my partner's personal body comes to see me that I really don't She tells me that she was shocked agreement and support of her hus- use and mine a couple of years ago, and like the look of or feel uneasy about, I and dismayed by the media coverage of band. “I was well over 40 and I just the guy taking the photos suggested just won't let him through the door. the Ipswich murders. “Every time it thought 'if I don't do it now, I never that it was a really good shoot and I'm not in a position where I have to do was reported, one of the first things will'. I'd never had the nerve or the asked me if I'd consider doing DVD it for the money.” that came out of their mouths was that confidence till I got over 40. Earlier in work, so that's how I got into the I was interested to know how the the women who had been murdered life it would have been very difficult if industry. Once I was working in adult women I spoke to felt about the way were 'five prostitutes'. It shouldn't my family had found out. I had trained modelling, I started being inundated prostitutes are perceived in society and matter that those women had sex for as a professional, I had a degree and I with emails and phone calls from peo- the media, and how the reality of their money: they're still human beings; had a very nice career, thank you very ple who'd seen my pictures on the web- own work differs from this perception. they're still somebody's daughter, and much, so it was just something I never site and wanted me to provide an All agreed that women working as somebody's mother; they're still some- thought about. But when I got over 40, escort service for them. A bit of extra prostitutes are stereotyped negatively, body's partner and somebody's friend. both my parents had died and I came pocket money is always useful, so I though there was a difference of opin- Their being prostitutes doesn't give to the opinion that if anybody did find started doing it. I still run my own ion about the degree to which the someone the right to murder them, it out then I wouldn't really be bothered. business now. The films and the escort stereotype is accurate. According to doesn't give the media the right to There are two completely different work are only a sideline.” Denise, “The media and public opinion report them in a less positive light, types of prostitutes as far as I'm con- Corinne is not so unequivocally is that somebody who does this sort of and it didn't give the police the >> M10 In-depth 13/02/07 right to take it less seriously when they that of street-based prostitutes, all four disappeared from the street. It was not expressed grave concerns about the Having money problems? Don’t sell your body, try these: taken as seriously or reported as seri- safety and welfare of such women. ouslyas it would have been if they'd However, none were clear that the University Student Financial Support Unit Unidaid.org.uk been five middle class women, and that legalisation of the industry would pre- This service offers various funds and bur- A charity designed to help students deal is really quite dangerous, because I sus- vent women from entering into unsafe saries to help out any York students who with financial barriers to entering and com- pect that if it had been, not as many of and exploitative situations. them would have died. It's almost as According to Denise, “It wouldn't are in financial difficulty. For information pleting higher education. As well as helping though those women's lives were not make much difference at all to the sort or advice, email them at student-financial- students access financial advice, and featur- worth anything because they did that of thing I do. And the poor girls who do [email protected], call (01904) (43)4043 ing a student budget calculator, it provides for money, but the harsh cold reality is it at 16 to feed a drug habit would still or visit them between 10am and 4pm in the free or supported accomodation to students that all kinds of women, from all kinds continue to street-walk and pick up Sally Baldwin Building, block B. at risk of dropping out of university due to of backgrounds, do this sort of work. nasty people, whether it was legalised It's not just 'crack-whores', as people or not. They're desperate girls, because money problems. call them.” they're drug addicts, and that’s not NUSonline.co.uk/info/money Adeline is right about at least one going to change. So I don't think it Provides information on the new student National Debt Line: 0808 808 4000 aspect of the way in which the Ipswich would make any difference to them to finance system and compares different Will discuss your debt problems and pro- murders were reported. Trawling legalise it, but it certainly wouldn't credit cards, bank accounts and insurance vide advice on the various ways to resolve through the archives of four national make a difference to me. And I don't newspapers, including two tabloids and think it would have saved those poor in terms of their benefits for students. them. two broad-sheets, I found that the vast girls in Ipswich.” majority of the articles pertaining to the Although Adeline is adamant that perceive to be inadequate sexual rela- sound like some kind of hard-faced murders contained the word “prosti- prostitution should be legalised, she tionships with their wives or girlfriends. bitch, but it's his relationship with his tutes”, or in some cases even “whores” or does not feel it would remove all the Perhaps the last accusation of wife or his girlfriend and he's responsi- “hookers” in the first sentence. Tony dangers entailed in street prostitution. social nuisance which could be levelled ble for that, I'm not. It's purely about Parson's December 18 column in the “You could argue that some of the at women working as prostitutes in a business, really. So you have to be able Mirror refers repeatedly to the five vic- pimping that goes on might stop, but way which is invisible to the surround- to compartmentalise your life, though it tims in these terms, at one point even personally I expect women would still ing community is that it encourages takes a while to get used to it.” describing them as “poor little cows be at risk of exploitation, and that's my deviation from functional, loving part- By and large, the women I spoke to whoring themselves on the backstreets.” major concern about this industry. nerships within society, by creating the were positive about their experiences of Adeline told me that she feels Particularly for the girls working on the possibility of sex in the form of what working as escorts, but I was interested “choked” by this sort of prejudice. “I live street or in parlours, many of the rea- Corinne describes as “a business trans- to know what they felt were the major an ordinary life; none of my family or sons why they do that will remain. action; a contract between two people.” pitfalls of the industry. Some were more my friends know what I do. As far as Either they're addicted to crack, or This is certainly not the way forthcoming that others. Melissa flatly most people are concerned, I'm just an they've got a pimp pushing them. Well, Denise perceives her work. “A lot of men denied that there were any pitfalls at all, ordinary, law-abiding citizen. They'll just because he can now legitimately who come to see me are in happy mar- while Denise said it was the best job send them out to work and take all their riages. They've got kids, they love their she’d ever had. Of the four only Melissa, money doesn't mean he's not exploiting wives, and they don't want anything to however, said she would unreservedly “As far as most are them. I think the dynamic of that spoil it. They don't want to have an recommend escorting as a career, and industry doesn't lend itself too well to affair; they don't want to get emotional- that she would be perfectly happy for concerned, I’m just legitimising it and making it more safe ly involved in anyone else, but they can her daughter to do it. and secure. It would take a long time come and see me, and I don't put any Adeline, ever frank, told me “If for people to get out of the mindset of pressure on them. They can see me you’re not in a good place in yourself, an ordinary citizen. ‘I'm standing on a street corner because every week or every month if they want; doing this can really mess your head up I can't afford to feed my children’. If you they can see me once and then not see because it’s not always the nicest job to They sit next to me can't afford to feed your children, you me again for six months if they don't have to do. I’ve seen that happen to can't afford to feed your children. That want; it's an easy way of going about some girls, many of whom were quite on the bus and have doesn't change.” things for them. They know I'm not Many women vulnerable already, with low self-esteem One of the key issues highlighted going to ring them at home or contact or abandonment issues. You've got to be by ‘Paying the Price’ and the resulting their wives, and I think from a health working as quite tough, take your money and use it no idea what I do” ‘Coordinated Prostitution Strategy’ was point of view they think it's safer to escorts do so constructively. The money itself can be the need to extirpate the demand for come to somebody like me who has reg- while living an damaging, because you can try to self- pass me in Tesco's, or I'll sit on the bus prostitution before the industry itself ular health checks and HIV tests. They apparently medicate by drinking yourself into a next to them, and they'll have no idea. I could be tackled, so I asked the women know I'm going to use a condom all the ‘normal’ life in stupor or taking lots of coke, and you’ll don't shout about it; I hide my face on what they thought were time, so they've got safe sex, but they’ve still be able to pay all your bills. But at my website and I'm discrete about what the main reasons got the sex that they want. I think I'm the community the end of the day, you can't make your- I do. At the end of the day, people can men came to actually helping to preserve marriages self feel better, because you're doing make all kinds of judgments about the them. The through providing that service.” something that you're not au fait with.” person that you are, but they don't issues of lone- Adeline, however, told me she It is unsurprising that the weight know you. Actually, I did have a good liness, sexual- struggles with the knowledge that many of research and consultation is heav- upbringing, and even though I do have deviance and of the men she sees are married or in ily on street-based prostitution. sex for money it doesn't make me a commitment- relationships. “I try not to think too Here the uglier side of the industry bad or an immoral person. I know phobia all deeply about the clients, because obvi- rears its head; here aid and atten- that deep down I'm a decent person, came up, but ously many of them have wives or girl- tion is most sorely needed. and I know that a lot of those precon- the consensus friends. I know this may seem like a bit However, beneath benign inten- ceived ideas are just prejudice really, was that by far of a paradox, but in my personal life I tions, there is a degree of hypocrisy so I just have to try and accept it.” and away the believe in monogamy and when I'm in a in this approach. For those who Corinne, like Melissa, told me most significant relationship then I'm in a relationship believe that the act of selling sex is she feels little affinity with women reason men visit with that one person. I certainly would- fundamentally immoral, it is con- working as prostitutes on the prostitutes n't expect infidelity from my partner, venient to conceive of prostitution as street. “I don't agree with girls was to especially if I did ever get married, synonymous with crime, addic- working on the street; I think supple- which is why I’ve steered clear of being tion and abuse. that's the wrong way of oper- ment in a relationship while I’ve had All the while middle ating altogether. I don't what this job. So ordinarily I don't class society convinces agree with the pimping side they look too kindly on men who itself that prostitution of things where girls are think it's all right to play occurs only in the distant having to work to fulfil their away from home. But I have echelons of an anonymous partner's monetary require- to remember that this is a underclass, it is easy to ments, I don't think that separate part of my life perceive a comfortable dif- sort of thing's right. But in and I'm not really here to ference between ‘us’ and my situation I'm lucky, judge them. I just need ‘them’. No doubt the sex because I don't have to do it to let that go and see it trade is a hazardous industry; for money, I do it because I for what it is: it’s a no doubt there are moral and enjoy meeting people. I very brief societal concerns. But if those enjoy sex: it's a laugh, it's a encounter and, engaged in the discussion first business transaction, it's a yes, he's cheat- allowed ourselves to conceive contract between two con- ing on his wife, that some women choose to sell senting adults, and that's as but quite sex from a position of financial far as it goes.” honestly strength and intellectual empow- Despite the difference that's not erement; if we were willing to hear these women perceived really my concern. their voices, the whole debate between their own work and I mean, I don't want to would surely be blown wide open. 13/02/07 Film M11 The Oscars foretold As the clock counts down to the big day, David Coates breaks out the tarot cards and predicts the winners in the 79th annual Academy Awards

here is little more that can be The Best Actor race is just as con- said about the Oscars. Whether tested, though with a less striking line- condemned for its attraction to up. First-time nominees Forest Tfairytale endings and heavy- Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland) handed social commentary or acknowl- and Ryan Gosling (Half Nelson) take edged for its place as the original and on Leonardo DiCaprio (Blood most recognised awards ceremony in Diamond), Will Smith (The Pursuit of the media, it remains the most power- Happyness) and the legendary Peter ful agenda-maker in the cinematic arts. O’Toole (Venus), fresh from his hon- In the last few years alone, Jamie orary Oscar with a competitive nomi- Foxx, Philip Seymour Hoffman and nation. even behind-the-scenesters like screen- DiCaprio would have been better writer-director Paul Haggis have all served by a nomination for The gained mainstream legitimacy on the Departed and it seems unlikely that back of Academy success (not to men- he’ll win anything. Gosling is similarly tion Clint Eastwood’s recent renais- one for the future and, even if he takes sance as a master director). We may nothing away this time, he should not chalk up Halle Berry’s misfortunes as find himself short of work in 2007. the exception that proves the rule. O’Toole may seem like a long-shot, but Whoever takes away the prizes on bear in mind both Paul Newman and that balmy Los Angeles night, many Laurence Olivier won competitive others will leave disappointed. With all Oscars after taking an honorary gong. this in mind, some might argue that The Academy has shown that it any prediction based on logic and per- loves a biopic, though, and both Smith sonal discernment is a vain exercise. and Whitaker look in great shape. Stuff and nonsense. Smith was cruelly overlooked for Ali, The competition for Best Actress and although Pursuit was rickety at Best Picture is the strongest it has been since Jodie best, he carried it with a charisma few nominees Foster’s 1991 win for Silence of the other actors could match. Whitaker’s include The Lambs, and arguably packs more of a role as Ugandan dictator Idi Amin Queen and punch than Best Actor. The British stunned critics, however, and he may contingent of Kate Winslet and Dames be the only serious threat to Smith. Babel Judi Dench and Helen Mirren lead a Whitaker takes on an arguably more striking group that also includes complex role as a man equally charm- Penélope Cruz and Meryl Streep. ing and menacing, both fatherly and Streep feels like a token American, and callous, in comaprison to Smith’s is unlikely to take a gong for a largely comic role in The Devil Wears Prada, while Winslet (Little Children) may ‘Some might argue that any curse her luck after a performance that in other years might have won. prediction based on logic and Out of the remainder, it is anyone’s guess. Cruz (Volver) is a recognisable personal discernment is a vain star, and a flawless performer in her first language; the Academy could be tempted to make her the first foreign- exercise. Stuff and nonsense’ language Best Actress. Mirren (The best picture since Goodfellas, but its (Babel, The Departed, Letters From Queen), who has received Supporting straight-up, hardworking American. overbearing score and shockingly Iwo Jima, The Queen and Little Miss Role nominations before, delivered a Both act beautifully, but Whitaker uncontrolled turn from Jack Nicholson Sunshine), most have been previously well-handled and affecting perform- could take it by a hair’s breadth. derails a film of otherwise commend- discussed, save for the surprise entry in ance and in a typically American The Best Director award could go able discipline. Babel shows the calibre the category, the independent dramedy vagary, Her Majesty has become a any of four ways. First-time British critics have come to expect from Little Miss Sunshine. It boasts an out- remarkably popular figure stateside. director Stephen Frears (The Queen) Iñárittu, though it suffers from an standing ensemble cast earning two Dench (Notes on a Scandal) continues shouldn’t realistically hold any hope of insurmountably bleak world view and Best Supporting nominations - includ- to show her class as a razor-sharp mas- winning against Paul Greengrass’s may tread too much on the toes of last ing one for 10-year-old Abigail Breslin ter craftswoman, playing beautifully stunning United 93, Alejandro year’s winner Crash (and indeed, his – and is an incredibly touching film by against Cate Blanchett in her first pure Gonzalez Iñárittu’s Golden Globe-win- previous, perhaps better films Amores Steve Carrell, with a straight-forward screen villain role since Lady Macbeth. ning Babel, Martin Scorsese’s The Perros and 21 Grams.) Ideally, it would charm that rarely strays into cloying It could go to any one of these three, Departed, and Clint Eastwood’s Letters come down to Greengrass and sentimentality. But Oscar material? It’s and the Academy may be just as torn, From Iwo Jima. Scorsese picks up his Eastwood, who have both broken questionable, and the folks behind but my money is on Dame Judi. sixth directorial nomination for his incredible ground in the past year; United 93 might feel hard done by. United 93 is a film few directors could Judged on quality alone, Letters And The Winner Is... have handled in terms of subject mat- and The Queen appear to be leading Oscar’s surprising tastes ter. Its stubborn refusal to sacrifice the way, although Babel has the air of a realism in favour of militant patriotism piece that aware of its profundity, Rocky (1976) extent of overlooking The Shawshank and a comfortable resolution deserves which may tempt the Academy. On the The plucky Philadelphia underdog fought his Redemption, now accepted as one of the best recognition. Eastwood’s two films this other hand, Lord of the Rings showed way into Academy hearts, knocking out Martin films of all time. year, Letters and Flags of Our Fathers, Oscar’s love for the popcorn flick, and Scorsese’s Taxi Driver. Stallone proceeded to rub reflect an anti-war movement gaining the sight of Scorsese taking away Best it in by making terrible sequels. Crash (2005) not only legitimacy, but support with a Director and Best Picture on the same All the hype building up to the ceremony had balanced, eloquent and tireless voice. night is far from inconceivable. Perhaps been pointing towards a resounding victory for There could easily be two winners in more than any of the other awards, Best this category, and if it came down to a Picture is wide open and picking the Forrest Gump (1995) Ang Lee’s depiction of love and repression in Tom Hanks’s appallingly sentimental war veter- tiebreaker, Eastwood’s previous wins best out of the nominees is a gamble. Brokeback Mountain. Paul Haggis’s stylish and may sway the judges in favour of For the sake of completeness, I would an, national sensation and all-round irritating cold presentation of race relations in Los putz impaired Academy judgements to the Greengrass. Tough call. pick Letters, but, on the night, anything Angeles took the win instead. Of the Best Picture nominees could happen. M12 Battle of the Bands Special Battle of the Bands Special M13 Campus bands prepare to do battle Meet the bands We pick the hottest bands that made it to the semi-finals and get the verdict on them Musical oddities abounded at the heats, says Stephen Mitchell, but are we providing them with a big enough platform? He joins from Mike Errico, musician and editor of the crowds at campus’ only music event to assess the competition and ask what York is doing to cultivate aspiring musical talent top music US mag Blender (www.errico.co.uk) Clip the Apex “Anti-indie ambient angst”

attle of the Bands is many infrequent live college events and indi- University’s Burn the Jukebox group at things to many different peo- vidual perseverance. Dom Shaw, of venues such as the City Screen base- What they say: “We only really came together to make some noise at ple: for some, it is the opportu- competing quartet Juliet Bravo, ment bar and Judges Lodgings. Yet, Battle of the Bands and scare some of the indie kids.” Bnity to swap the chill of a stressed that it is “important that stu- these remain limited and isolated; too February night for the humidity and dents turn out for events like this, as often, awareness and support is reliant What we say: “Reminiscent of a more sedated My Bloody Valentine over-enthusiastic smoke machine of the opportunities for bands in York are on hear’say and peeling paper flyers and, Clip the Apex provide a valiant attempt at emulating their pin-up Goodricke dining hall. For others, it is quite limited”. Whilst there are occa- rather than as part of a regular scene. Explosions in the Sky. Unfortunately, they lack the innovation and simply a chance to cheer on their sions where students can air their intensity of the former, which leaves their slow-brewing harmonies housemates whilst getting in a few developing sounds, such as termly more a cacophonic jumble than a seamlessly fused instrumental pro- drinks at McQ’s bar. Most importantly, Halifax Xtra and YUSU live events, the ‘Support for campus bands is gression.” however, it is the premier showcase of noticeable lack of a central campus the myriad of talents that compose the entertainment venue suggests that the What Blender says: “Clip the Apex swoop and dive like a British University of York’s music scene. University music scene will continue to reliant on hear’say and peeling Deftones - not as brutal, but maybe as ambitious.” A trip to one of the heats displays remain sadly sporadic. Groups with the variety of aural oddities being writ- limited social followings will continue paper flyers rather than as part ten and performed behind the breeze- to compete at events such as Battle of Playing for Keeps block walls of the University. I attended the Bands, but the potential for these of a regular music scene’ Heat 4, which had everything a music occasions to raise the profile of bands “Playful pop with promising talent” fan could expect, with an abundance of will be lost unless they are part of a theatrics and eccentricity. Participants thriving campus culture. Meanwhile, the musical melee of blurred the lines between catchy, alter- It is clear that there is no shortage 2007 reaches its final stages this week native and, in some cases, profoundly of talent, but campus musical troops and the remaining bands will all be What they say: “We play happy, catchy pop-punk with a dash of ska. strange. From the ‘Progressive who have found success seem to have hoping to repeat the successes of last We’re not worried about the competition; all the other bands give great Dressing Gown’ of Juliet Bravo to the done so through their own talent and year’s winners, Conceptual Misfire. I cuddles.” pop-punk of Playing for Keeps, the industry. OK Brandy, comprising sev- will certainly be in attendance, explor- audience experienced live drum ’n’ eral members of the University Folk ing the sonic crossways that could What we say: “Unpretentious giddiness grounded by musical consis- bass, blues, a ‘reggae-rock’ rendition of Club, supported award-winning singer someday place York on the musical Bottom left tency and melodic substance. Nothing groundbreaking, but it'll keep ‘Eye of the Tiger’ and the spectacle of Rachel Unthank at the National Centre map. It is only by supporting these and below: the you bopping along merrily.” the Ten Whistling Boys’ oversized card- for Early Music earlier this term. occasions that the University can begin guitarist and board masks, with an added accordion. Equally, others are taking it upon to aid and develop the neglected musi- What Blender says: “Low cost recording software lends itself to lo-fi Yet the evening left me wondering themselves to organise underground cal talents that are present in every cor- drummer from musical styles, but when applied to traditional genres, its weaknesses what Battle of the Bands provides as collectives; semi-finalists Tigernaut ner of campus. Heading to the semi- Playing for are exposed. The competent playing and structured songwriting here part of a music scene divided between have performed at events as part of the finals this week is a good place to start. Keeps would benefit greatly from equally convincing production.” Santa Caesura “Great name, dubious sound”

What they say: “We’ve been together a couple of months, researching how inebriated we can get, yet still be able to play semi-competently.”

What we say: “Commercial potential is certainly there, but the catchy hooks are obscured by vocal and instrumental dissonance. The vocals are pleasant enough if they don't waver above an alto and they should do quite well if they remember to sound-check.”

What Blender says: “Heavy guitar-based bands with a charismatic female lead vocalist will invite comparison to Evanescence, and the angular vocal harmonies in their radio-ready choruses seem fine with that. It's time to book a session in the studio.”

Clockwise from left: crowd Vudu Guru members cheer “Ali barbar swinging a glow stick at a on their friends desert rave” at the heats; Arctic Fury made it What they say: “We make music that is fun to dance to whilst trying to through to the look as bizarre as possible!” semi-finals; What we say: “Bedouin drum ‘n’ bass with Krishna-gone-electric. You Chieftan Tayto have to give them props for creativity, but the manic jungle trumpet- didn’t. Photos: ing borders on sounding like a strangled maccaw.” Georgi Mabee What Blender says: “Vudu Guru's penchant for Eastern harmonies, guitar synths, ska horns and drum ‘n’ bass beats mix uneasily at first, but if this catches your ear, they will be the only game in town. At the end of the day, originality is a definition of success in itself.” M14 Fashion 13/02/07 Budget fashion: Oxfam takes on

Collette Kerrigan ditches York’s high street fashion stores and heads online to satisfy her strict clothing budget. But just how far will a tenner stretch on eBay?

ly so does the danger of going com- pletely haywire. Another third year friend of mine who was previously unconvinced by internet shopping thought he’d branch out this Christmas with a remote controlled helicopter from redsave.com. After waiting over a month for delivery, he then crashed it in under an hour. The same friend debating Peaches’s tunic also took the opportunity after a night out in an intoxicated stupor to catch last minute fashion buys, only to realise the next day that she’d racked up a £170 bill on clothes that were actually two sizes too big for her. Sob stories aside, internet shop- ping’s greatest time-waster is undoubt- edly eBay: the famous online auction that’s taken the world by storm. Mid- way through my online shopping expe- rience, I felt obliged to browse around for a few more deals. Ten pounds, I was sure, wouldn’t stretch too far. But a pair of slippers, an inflatable paddling pool, a poster and an alarm clock later, there was still change to spare. To be fair, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that these items weren’t great quality, but the principle is still there. And the pos- sibilities of this site are endless: rubber dinghys, fire extinguishers, fancy dress and musical ironing boards - whatever takes your fancy. Huge numbers of peo- ple make a business out of eBay stores, selling copious items at reduced prices, but it’s never a good idea to get too must admit, my technological Peaches Geldof) from ASOS.com. Looking through a number of Fashion to internet-immersed. I learnt a valuable abilities aren’t really up to much. “This way I can pick out what I like in popular fashion websites (purely for your doorstep. lesson from a naive friend of mine who In fact, they stretch about as far as half the time.” the purpose of this article, of course), I Photo: Rachel thought the site was a great way to email and Facebook. With the aim Forget popping into town to find a took it upon myself to become click- make a few bob. Attempting to sell her I Holloway of becoming more technologically new outfit; she and millions of other happy, see what bargains were in the £250 Tiffany necklace, her highest bid savvy - and, of course, updating my consumers are trying internet shop- cyber market and discover next sea- was only £25, which she was forced to wardrobe for 2007 - I took the new ping for size. The worry of giving out son’s essentials. With vintage prints year as my opportunity to make the your credit card details right, left and and floral patterns key in February, leap of faith that is being taken by mil- centre is being flung aside as fashion many websites have added a huge ‘Forget popping into town for a lions of new generation consumers as magazines are dedicating pages upon range of 60s paisley and knit dresses to they say “goodbye” to the the noise and pages to cyber retail therapy. their collection. High-waisted jeans clamour of high street crowds and Shopaholics everywhere can now and shorts are also set to make a come- new outfit; millions of “hello” to the joyfully simple prospect indulge their addiction in the comfort back. Personally, I’m sceptical on this of no fuss, no hassle online shopping. and anonymity of their home, front but, luckily, there is a broad range consumers are trying internet For many of us who have irritably trundling virtually through an array of of sites that will offer me an alternative. elbowed our way towards Topshop in websites, desperately seeking that Beyond fashion, the exciting buys shopping for size” York on a Saturday, the rise of the high must-have item. stretch further - although unfortunate- street store’s online counterpart is being welcomed with open arms. From accept, according to the eBay terms riverisland.com to the designer mecca and conditions. that is net-a-porter (however far your Go click-happy for fashion on the cyber market Nonetheless, I can’t help but be student loan will stretch), internet drawn to the appeal of computer shopping is an activity that is all too > WWW.ASOS.COM > WWW.TOPSHOP.COM > WWW.CLOGGS.CO.UK crazed shopping. Relishing these exclu- easily becoming a way of life for many Features fashion ranging from Quite simply the best high- A hub of brands - brands and sive online deals, you also avoid the student consumers in the 21st century. top-name brands to cheap street fashion chain website; almost indiscernable discounts changing room challenges of queuing The prospect of sitting in front of your celebrity imitations, all with you could spend hours brows- on everything you could possi- for twenty minutes to try on an outfit computer with a bowl of cereal and the unashamed aim of helping ing the huge array of lines - bly desire, from furry bomber that really wasn’t worth the time and picking out what you want to wear to you to replicate that outfit but only after perusing the jackets to wrap-around sun- effort. But is the online gamble of Toffs next week in between watching Paris Hilton wore out last ‘style tip-off’ and ‘lookbook’. glasses. Kit yourself out in top- clothes fitting worth the hassle either? episodes from the ‘Scrubs’ box set is, as night. Despite the scary to-toe designer gear or select Yes, if you know what you’re doing and my flatmate discovered earlier this emphasis on impersonating > WWW.LAYER-UP.CO.UK just a few choice quality items so can avoid shipping back and forth term, all too appealing. “Sometimes I minor celebs, there are a lot of Not the most professional site at sale time. Picks include clothes that don’t fit or jewellery that just don’t have the time to spend hours items here that you would be but underrated. Pull items of cheap jeans and the full spec- looked far better on accessorize.com. going in and out of the changing room,” My advice is to save that new pair of hard-pushed to find elsewhere, reduced-price designer gear trum of Converse trainers, and she says, her mouse hovering over an faith.com shoes for a better occasion intruigingly patterned tunic-dress either online or in the real together on a plastic man- all with free delivery in the than traipsing through town and jump (apparently identical to that worn by world. nequin. Cheap and fun. UK. on the virtual band-wagon. 13/02/07 Science M15 online shopping The scientific briefing with MirandaAddey

Climate change: who It’s not just online shops offering up the can deny it now? bargains. Charity shops cater for the more t was the polar bears what done STUDENTSURVEY: ethical shopper, as Heloise Wood discovers it. Last month the Bush admin- Are you doing enough to combat istration finally acknowledged ob Geldof has attacked items that would be ‘unsaleable taken for granted: charity shops climate change and global climate change? I Yes: 20% charity shops in the in a high street’ such as fairy appeal to the fashion brigade warming, no longer able to ignore the UK, claiming that their wings, stick-on ears, ball gowns because of their unique collect- polar bear’s plight. The Department No: 80% B‘ubiquitous sprouting’ and of course wellies. (Next ables at bargain prices - the fact of Interior classified the statuesque signalled the ‘first sign of time you donate your old stick- that the money goes to those in creature as “threatened” under the ceeded a long argument as to whether decline’. When asked what on ears, you’ll know where need is almost an afterthought. Endangered Species Act. In theory it is human-caused or actually hap- inspired such hatred, Geldof they’ll be going.) However, the industry is this means the US government must pening at all. Channel 4 has commis- replied: “Shite clothes.” Now, So how are the other char- blessed with creativity and not only find a recovery plan for it, sioned a show entitled ‘The Great Geldof may be famous for many ity shops competing? Beyond innovation: St Leonard’s but are also forbidden from “enacting, Global Warning Swindle’ which says things but style is simply not Ourselves Charity Shop, a Hospice shops hold a presti- funding or authorising [actions that man-made climate change “is a one of them. He is also gravely church-sponsored shop in gious annual fashion show, which] adversely modify the animal’s lie, the biggest scam of modern in the minority where charity Durham, opened an adjoining showcasing the best items from critical habitats”. times”. Strong words: but is there any shops are concerned. The pub- café four years ago. It’s oddly the shop and creations from Good news for fighters against truth in this claim? lic continues to embrace ‘con- comforting to have tea and cake local artists and designers, and climate change, and the battle has an The main argument is the dis- science shopping’. Equally, surrounded by clothes and bric- tickets always sell out in ally in a new UN report, the biggest crepancies between predicted charity shops have shown advance. A sense of palpable and most comprehensive of its kind. increases in temperatures and that extraordinary innovation, their anticipation was in the air as Compiled by the Intergovernmental observed by satellites and weather rising profits in contrast to the ‘Charity shops the manager took to the stage to Panel on Climate Change it states that balloon instruments. This has been recession looming over the high announce the models as they there is an over 90% chance that refuted by scientists of NOAA, who street. Retail insiders agree that have shown sashayed down the makeshift humans have caused climate change, state that the instruments were in it is online shopping that is catwalk. Many were elderly vol- an extreme and dire warning of the error, not the climate change models. largely keeping the high street extraordinary unteers and bantered the com- consequence of our actions on the Another argument is that climate afloat. So how are charity shops pere, angrily correcting their world. It says that the process is irre- change is not man-made, but even if ‘sprouting’ in such a harsh retail innovation in supposed sizes (‘I’ve lost weight, versible and will go on for centuries. this were true we are feeling the dan- environment? remember!’). There is a chance The panel comprises over 2,500 gerous consequences. It is far more The charity shop is a rela- raising profits’ to buy the featured clothes scientists from over 30 countries: not likely that humans are speeding up tively recent invention; it was afterwards but such is the flur- a body to be ignored. It estimates that whatever natural changes are occur- only in 1947 that an Oxfam a-brac, almost like sitting in ried excitement of the masses, it by 2100 the world will have increased ring, ending - either naturally and shop was opened in Oxford your friend’s bedroom (it was is not for the faint hearted. As in temperature by between 1.8° C and slowly, or induced and quickly - with with profits going directly to also a bargainous £3.60 for 2 well as tickets and clothes sold, 4°C. It may not seem much, but the our ecology being exterminated. The charity. There are now over pots of tea and 2 toasties.) the fashion show is important report elaborates on what this means, UN report also highlights rising CO2 7,000 charity shops in the UK. Meanwhile, St Leonard’s because it raises the shops’ pro- and it’s not a world you would want levels, the quickest rise in the past Oxfam continues to set the Hospice is a York-based charity file. “People who normally say ‘I for your children. Best case scenario: 800,000 years. The report also goes bar for innovation and has whose shops started life as a wouldn’t set foot in a charity millions left without water, a third of some way to discrediting the idea that branched into many imagina- monthly garage sale. As the shop, I’d never buy second hand all species extinct and many places solar activity is the cause of the per- tive outlets. They now have queues stretched longer and clothes’, get to see some of the become deserts. Worst case scenario: ceived increase in temperatures. many different types of shop, longer down Tadcaster road, amazing stuff we get in.” melting ice caps displacing millions of The greatest challenge to com- selling everything from books they decided to start an actual So what next for charity people and wide scale migration as bating climate change is the very and music to bridal garments shop: the first opened seven- shops? Well, Oxfam recently southern Europe becomes desert. essence of the way we live, notably and homeware. York boasts one teen years ago, there are now announced it was going into Half of all species become extinct and energy sources and the carbon emis- of the only five Originals shops seven. I talked to Helen second-hand car dealership agriculture collapses in Australia. If sions prevalent in our daily routines. and the only hospital Oxfam Moreton, the organisation’s (the accompanying headline on temperatures reach the higher end of The Kyoto Protocol is an internation- shop resides in York District retail manager. “We opened the the press release: ‘Now there’s a the increase, life as we know it will fall al agreement calling for cuts in green- Hospital. Oxfam first one, not really knowing second-hand car dealer you can apart. Food supplies will run out and house emissions and green trading. has also been what was going to happen and trust!’). They aim to sell a car a south and east Asian societies will Many countries have not ratified it, present at the it’s gone from strength to month as part of their Valued at collapse. Eventually humanity will be most notably the US. A follow up plan music festivals strength. Everyone talks about Oxfam campaign, a new extinct apart from a few outposts near was due for development but stalled for the last three our modern, throwaway society bespoke service that specialises the poles. Deserts will stretch across in its early stages. Will the new report years, stocking but we are able to utilise that in in high-priced goods, encourag- the globe, and the oceans will be stag- force countries to commit? a positive way.” ing people to think more cre- nant. A bleak future. On a more personal note there Donations have atively about donations. The With the release of Al Gore’s An are initiatives to help us play our part, suffered in recent latest car to be sold is a 1965 Inconvenient Truth last December including carbon foot-printing and years with the Mercedes 190C Fintail, for these ideas are anything but new. The Facebook groups started with this in growth of eBay. £7600, providing clean drink- fight against this challenge to human- mind. Did you participate a couple of However, like ing water for 9000 people. ity certainly has supporters. The weeks ago when thousands simulta- Oxfam, St The British Heart Stern Report, by economist Sir neously switched out their entire elec- Leonard’s have Foundation on Bridge Street is Nicholas Stern, provides an extra tricity supply for five minutes? used eBay to offering the chance to write a angle on the UN’s report, outlining Whatever the solution to this sell highly message in the shop window for the benefits of using low carbon tech- devastating trend, Bush’s idea of giant priced goods. Valentines Day, for the princely nology and refuting the idea that mirrors to reflect the sun’s rays seems Another threat sum of a pound. It may sound humans are blameless. Unlike the UN desperate. In the face of this crucial is supermar- corny but many are refreshingly report it highlights ways of combating struggle, surely prevention is better ket clothing frank, such as: ‘Wow, I can’t this change, saying that although than cure? Or is it too late? which is now believe we made it forty years we cannot hope to affect the next cheap together!’ The bar is continually 40 or 50 years, what we do now enough to com- being raised for innovative will have a significant impact in pete with charity working practise and it will be the future. shops: “We used to interesting to see how they So how can people possibly argue sell t-shirts for a few pounds develop. Perhaps the next step against all these experts? Can they but now by the time an Asda forward is an in-house dating still say this isn’t happening or that T-shirt becomes second agency where militant old dears we are not the cause? Yet the deniers hand we can’t sell it for can grill potential candidates are out there, not least some of my fel- much.” The charitable whilst steaming clothes? low physicists. When I brought it up aspect is almost Stranger things have happened. around the physics table there pro- M16 Agony Uncle 13/02/07 UncleMatthew He would care, but he just doesn’t want to...

Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew, Dear Uncle Matthew,

I need your help. I really want to run for a promi- Perhaps you can help me. One of my housemates is Please, please help me. There is a poltergeist living in nent position on the Students’ Union next year, but driving me mad. He literally does not have a personali- my broom cupboard, and I am completely petrified. I I'm not sure I have the charisma, or the looks, to ty - he's like an amorphous collection of cells living in tried to ignore it at first, but it has become impossible carry off a political campaign and win votes. I feel my house. Also, he always leaves the toilet seat up, lis- to sustain the pretence. I know it comes into my room politics is in my blood (my father is a Conservative tens to country and western music and keeps a stash of and watches me while I'm asleep. Also, it keeps steal- councillor), and that I could really offer something to porn under the living room sofa. How should I ing my milk and knickers. I haven't swept the floor in student society. How can I go about setting my foot approach him to talk to him about this? There doesn't 6 months, because I can't bring myself to open the on the political ladder and make myself cool enough seem to be an easy way to tell someone that they have cupboard and face its wrath. I can't sleep at night. to be part of the SU? all the personal charm of a dishrag. What shall I do? Ugly, Halifax Frustrated, Tang Hall Terrified, Fulford ......

Dear Ugly, Dear Frustrated, Dear Terrified,

You are clearly severely lacking in self-confidence. I I always think it is important to try and resolve dis- Forget about the broom and buy a hoover. would therefore suggest that what you are in need of is putes as amicably as possible. If your housemate seems That might also help keep the 'polter- a big boost to your sense of self-esteem, something uncommunicative, perhaps you should try to find some geist' occupied at night without it both- that would make you feel happier in your own skin and common ground between the two of you? Once you've ering you... more confident in your abilities as a politician. Have built up a working relationship the possibility of hav- you ever considered botox? Not only might this go ing a decent conversation, and a chance to air your Cuddles, some way to improving your currently unimpressive views, will make your job a lot easier. One of the best looks; a static, unresponsive face would also provide ways may be trying to appeal to his interests. From Uncle Matthew you with a handy excuse for your lack of charisma. Just what you've told me, I propose you confront him about remember the advice I give to all aspiring politicos: if his behaviour whilst wearing a Stetson hat and noth- you want to go into politics, you must first learn to love ing else. Then you should be assured of his full atten- yourself. tion.

Kiss, kiss, Big hugs, Uncle Matthew Uncle Matthew If you have a dilemma to put to Uncle Matthew, please email it to [email protected] www.NOUSE.co.uk Check out the improved Nouse website, with: Podcasts - subscribe to News and Muse podcasts with digests of the main stories, features and reviews Events listings - find and submit listings of campus events and productions Comments - read what people are saying about the latest articles Porters petition - sign Nouse’s open letter to save our porters Plus all the stories and pictures from this and previous editions Keep an eye out for more improvements in the near future Nouse meeting tonight: Come along to our meeting at 6.30pm tonight in W/307 to discuss this edition, meet the editorial team and get involved in the next edition of Nouse 13/02/07 The Last Word M17 AndreasMasoura Terrorism, violence and alarming incompetence: Welcome to York

risk of this becoming a permanent cost- Nothing’s changed then. I feel a vote of emerged as a Nouse reporter broke into Incompetence on campus cutting solution is the attitude dis- ‘no confidence’ coming on, so do feel the Chemistry department. Driven by a played by the SU President. A man free to write in with any thoughts. sudden hunger, he embarked on a mis- As the deconstruction and deterioration elected and paid to represent the views Oh dear, I’m never going to be able sion to find a chemical combination to of the University of York continues, of the students is discouraging any stu- to get into Toffs for free ever again. I’ll make food. However, if you substitute with Porters being the latest asset to dent action. I think the Nouse petition’s just stick with Ziggys, since it’s free, and our reporter with Abu Hamza, and gradually disappear after the closure of 1200 signatures suggests that quite a make sure I avoid the stairs outside, hunger with desire to make explosive so many bars last term, I sit pondering few students are concerned about around the back; a popular Rugby team orange juice that could be used to what might go next. Perhaps, with any the situation, as opposed to the and SU officer hang out apparently. destroy planes (or at least make the seat luck, the Roger Kirk Centre might be pathetic 250 votes cast in the There’s banter and then there’s slander. wet if spilt accidentally), then disaster bulldozed. The toilets could then be latest UGM. would occur. I propose that all ruck- auctioned, providing funding for a facil- It’s about time students God bless the Welsh sacks carried around campus should ity or two. Many an afternoon has been were backed by and represent- now be clear. spent dreaming of the day beer might ed by a president that they flow through Roger’s disused beer elected on the basis that he I send my most sincere hopes for a Typical student protest pumps, whilst defiantly trying to digest would do so. Instead it speedy recovery to the student who the ever popular Roger Kirk fishcake. appears we have a leader was beaten in Derwent after a I would like to offer my most heart-felt Yet again the University has dis- who is primarily concerned rugby match involving Scotland congratulations to the two students played a frightening inability to func- with avoiding accounta- and Wales. It’s refreshing to see who protested against Guantanamo tion and organise itself effectively. After bility by agreeing to sign such a strong rise in nationalism Bay by dressing up in orange boiler three months of summer holidays only with the greatest with so many people willing to suits and bending over outside the proved to be insufficiently long to fit reluctance, perhaps in fight for their country. I’ve library. However, I couldn’t help going some kitchens in Goodricke College, the order to keep his name always been a firm believer in over and reassuring them that there was University now simply cannot hire any clean and make sure violence as a solution for most nothing to worry about, since they came porters. University feathers things, especially to preserve from a good, fox-hunting background What concerns me more than the remain unruffled. national identity. God bless and therefore did not fit the the King. Sorry, I mean Queen. I’m Guantanamo criteria. They promptly informed she’s not dead yet. Unlike left. most universities, York has maintained its purity by including a record number A vision of a libel case of ethnic minorities. Nouse interviewed 75 percent of them, which isn’t as I’ll be expecting a formal apology from impressive as it sounds, since there Vision, or perhaps more suitably were only three of them. Handicapped Vision, for falsely alleging I wanted to write for them. I’d rather York on terror alert write on shards of glass using my own excrement. If not, I’m sure we’ll be meeting in York Magistrate’s Court Security concerns around campus sometime soon. Filling in the gaps

The University of York is becoming an approved manufacturers – no Fruit Of The increasingly dangerous place to be. Firstly, Loom AK47s here), which doesn’t matter, if you are being robbed, beaten up by a because you can’t even get near the town mob of rugby fans or murdered in the mid- centre now that the RAG parade has dle of Derwent dining-hall, you can expect reached critical mass and every street from the porters to be along in half-an-hour or Heslington to Micklegate is filled with so – but not before (through no fault of drunk Derwenters dressed as dalmations. theirs, but one must consider costs, Or cows. Or whatever they were. Every dontcha know). street, that is, except for those around the You can’t go near the Chemistry Badger Hill area, where residents have Department for fear of journalists trying to barricaded themselves into their homes make bombs out of things they find lying and are shooting at anyone they suspect of around (just to prove it can be done), and being a student with WWII surplus rifles. you can’t go near the Physics Department The only ray of sunshine in the whole because the Ministry of Defence is paying affair comes when the BNP decide to leave them to make real bombs. They have forti- - not because of York Unity’s protracted fied the department since a cheeky anony- and vicious leafleting campaign, but mous letter from Derwent alerted the gov- because they’re all terrified by the descent ernment to the looming crisis on campus of utter madness. I hear the remaining (Tax-free cous-cous? Does that even make loyal knuckle-dragging skinhead racists are sense? No!). relocating their operations to somewhere You can’t go shopping in York town safer, like Baghdad. I think they plan to centre because you’ll get stopped and beat- take that dalek with them, too. Good luck en up at Amnesty’s Israeli checkpoint (all to them, I say. That thing’s bloody danger- in the name of bringing the message home ous. to you though, you fascist pig, and all the guns and uniforms are made by Fair Trade By Nicky Woolf M18 Arts 13/02/07 ArtsReviews

BOOK:THE WINTER ROSE Amy Milka slips on her dancing AUTHOR: JENNIFER DONNELLY PUBLISHER: HARPER COLLINS shoes and boogies with some PRICE: £6.99 REVIEW: RACHEL HOPKINS University dance societies ✪✪✪✪✪ niversity dance has capabilities and adding new class- received mixed publicity es.” It’s not all hard graft though, Set in the 1900s against the cruel back- recently. The cliquey and with classes comes a varied drop of turn-of-the-century London, Uimage associated with social scene, from fancy dress to this epic book is bound to become a performing arts in general is hard salsa social nights where students favourite on your bookshelf. Donnelly to shake off. But, as the build-up can try out the moves they’ve tells the story of a woman fighting to the extravaganza that is Fusion learnt. “We’re keen to see new against her parents and society to continues, I find out what’s going faces at our socials, and it’s a great become a doctor. She dreams of chang- on and how to get involved. way to get to know your commit- ing the fate of London's poor against all Lucy Davies and Emma tee”, they tell me. “We’re having a the criticisms of her fiancé and boss. In Meigh, the Dance Society chairs, dance film night in Week 6 and we a slightly bizarre - yet not wholly unbe- are keen to dispel the old myths. hope plenty of people will come lievable - twist of fate, she saves the life “We’re not in the least bit exclu- along.” Dance Society’s salsa improvers get ready to strut their stuff of one of the ring-leaders of gangland sive! The society caters for all lev- Classes aside, this is a very positions, including two reps for for a competition in Edinburgh London. As with all fairytales, opposites els and abilities. We aim to offer active society. Auditions give all each class, a secretary and the against other university dance attract and they fall for each other: ide- something for everyone, from members a chance of strutting chairs. Anyone can run for a place, societies in the UK. Everyone who alistic do-gooder India Selwyn-Jones people who began dancing at a their stuff on stage, be it at a char- no experience required. “We’re a went last year had loads of fun and and king of the brawls, the notorious young age to complete beginners.” ity event such as Stop AIDS or friendly bunch and want everyone can't wait to go again. It's nice to Sid Malone. The variety of classes that the soci- Make Poverty History, or a well- to enjoy our classes. You don’t have the opportunity to perform, What follows is guaranteed to keep ety offers reflects this diversity - known campus event like have to go with a friend, just turn as well as practise in classes.” you reading as the real story unfolds; jazz classes, break dance, jive, tap, Woodstock or the infamous up and meet some new people!” Members benefit from a Royal moving from London to Africa and beginners and improvers salsa Fusion. “This year’s Dance Society Ben Dove, salsa rep, says. “And it’s Academy of Dance trained teacher California, the characters are all on a and street dancing are all on the scene at Fusion is a really special definitely not just for girls”, he and, of course, plenty of socials. journey of discovery; one filled with menu, plus specialist workshops one”, says Lucy, “as this time many adds. “Salsa is fun and sociable, The societies are also succeeding murder, corruption and brutality from every term which range from classes are taking part.” In addi- and I get to meet lots of new peo- in improving the dance facilities at the most unlikely of candidates. advanced classes, to belly dancing, tion to on-campus performances, ple every week.” The girls agree, the University; the last year has With plot twists littered through- to afro-cuban body movement. a group from the society will be “girls love a guy who can dance! seen the transformation of the out, this book provides a fascinating The society currently boasts representing York at this year’s That’s our motto – making you minor sports hall into a dance stu- glimpse of a bygone era whilst remain- over 700 members, making it one inter-university competition in look good on the dance floor”. dio with mirrors and barres for ing historically accurate and fabulously of the largest on campus, and it’s Loughborough. “We’re entering Although the Dance Society the ballet dancers. gripping. A definite must-read for any- still growing. Secretary Nat Carter the hip-hop category, but in the provides the widest range of les- Dance Society class times are one with a love for both romance and explains, “we’re a successful, self- future there’s the potential for stu- sons, other societies are also flying available at www.uyds.co.uk, and action. sufficient society, and over the last dents to represent us in other cat- the flag for dance in York. Jenny information on Ballet Soc can be few years we’ve grown dramatical- egories, too”, Lucy explains. Frankish, chair of Ballet Soc, obtained via email: ly. The increased interest means The committee will be hold- explains what’s going on this [email protected]. Try something CLASSIC BOOK REVIEW we are constantly expanding our ing elections in Week 9 for all term: “We are currently preparing new! BOOK:THE REMAINS OF THE DAY AUTHOR: KAZUO ISHIGURO PUBLISHER: FABER AND FABER WHAT’S ON

PRICE: £7.99 Thoroughly Modern Millie Mad Forest 4.48 Psychosis REVIEW: SARAH STRETTON From the York Light Opera Company Presented by Out of the Blue Theatre A York University student production ✪✪✪✪✩ York Theatre Royal Company York Theatre Royal 13 – 24 February York Theatre Royal 10 March This is a novel that both frustrates and 27 February – 3 March compels. In his most celebrated work, The Pirates of Penzance Drama Barn: Ishiguro presents us with a beautiful A production by the University of York’s The Vagina Monologues and intense portrayal of an ageing but- Gilbert and Sullivan Society Does it need an introduction? ler, Stevens. Stone Cold Dead Serious Central Hall Grand Opera House The novel is set across six days in Week 6 which Stevens undertakes a journey to 15 - 17 February 28 February discover himself and the consequence Lying For A Living Dead Fish Blam of past decisions. His journey is moti- Dead Fish Blame Week 7 vated by his repressed feelings for Miss An emotionally-charged tale from the The tale of a young girl who disappears Kenton, the former housekeeper, as we Reform Theatre Company from a council flat Cricket on the Moon slowly learn through successive York Theatre Royal York Theatre Royal Week 8 episodes of nostalgia. Stevens is a ghost 22 – 24 February 3 – 17 March of a lost profession and generation, and it is through his narration that we are forced to reconsider our ideas of the meaning of dignity, love and life. SPOTLIGHT ON Isabel Buxton One of the most dexterous achieve- Relationships: Contemporary Sculpture, at York Art Gallery until 13 May ments of this novel is Ishiguro’s success in revealing Stevens's character to Something exciting is happening at York Art in exhibitions of this nature (“Look, a bed! I ment such as Nelson’s Column and minia- everyone save the narrator himself. The Gallery. That may sound like a contradiction put it here myself!”). Work from the turises it. With contributions from Damien pace of the novel, like the protagonist’s in terms, but it’s true. The new exhibition Hayward Gallery in London features along- Hirst and Sarah Lucas, this is one of character, has the potential to frustrate. ‘Relationships’ features artists you might side the gallery’s own pieces, all dealing with the most important exhibitions But this appears to be Ishiguro's inten- actually have heard of (including several the relationships between various aspects of held here in recent years. tion, contributing to the ingenious con- Turner Prize nominees) and is a great way to modern sculpture. Highlights include Rachel Even if contemporary art struction and structure of the novel. spend an hour basking in your cultural up- Whiteread’s ‘Six Spaces’, exploring the idea isn’t your thing, this Despite being difficult to get into, it is to-dateness. It’s small, accessible and of negative space through the casting of the good, small-scale fundamentally a simple story delivered refreshingly short on those facetious, self- spaces under six chairs, and Lawrence Burt’s taster might just with seamless eloquence, and as such, satisfied, ‘clever’ offerings that you often find ‘Monument’, which takes the idea of a monu- convert you. well deserves perseverance. 13/02/07 Arts M19 TheatreReviews Amy Scott talks to York students involved in the National Student Drama Festival

he annual National Student York have been successful at the NSDF fee, attendance fees for all involved in Drama Festival will this year be in the past, and this year regular Drama selected productions, and the living joining us in the sunny world of Barn director Will Bowry is hoping to costs of staying in the designated TNorth Eastern Yorkshire or, return to the festival and capitalise on location for the duration of the festi- more specifically, Scarborough. Seven the success of his previous entry val. Combined, these costs mean that venues in the town will host the crème Gagarin’s Way. This year his production funding issues can be very restricting de la crème of British student theatrical will be Adam Rapp’s Stone Cold Dead for university applications, and, as talent, between 29 March and 4 April. Serious, a play which centres around a Hoyle points out, this raises a num- Talented youngsters ranging from teenage boy called Wynne, who after ber of class issues about who ends up GCSE students to recent graduates are becoming a champion video gamer, as a successful applicant. competing to be selected for one of the wins the chance to combat a samurai In comparison to other theatre ten performance slots available at the fighter in New York, ‘what working class festivals, such as the Edinburgh Festival. These places are highly prized America’s all about’. Fringe, Bowry believes the potential and competition is high; on average Bowry is using two cast members “It really raised the standards of the This year’s for success for student productions is 150-160 shows apply each year. from his previous production, Edward production to another level. The level National higher at an event like the NSDF. At The main draw of the Festival for Watson, who’ll be playing Wynne, and of detail these people would go into the Fringe, punters and newspaper the students involved is the attention of John Hoyle, who also spoke to me about was above and beyond the sort of con- Student Drama critics are frequently more inclined, theatre professionals, who give feed- their previous experiences of the NSDF. sideration you have the time and Festival will be and encouraged, to visit and review back on the productions and run work- All agree with Ravenhill that the event resources to deliberate in your average held in bigger scale productions. However, at shops on their own area of expertise. is a fantastic opportunity for aspiring student production”. Scarborough the NSDF the small number of pro- The playwright Mark Ravenhill, who thespians and directors alike, Watson However, although the positives of ductions and competitive selection will be conducting one of the work- simply because he so rarely hears a pos- participating in the festival are appar- techniques mean that student drama shops this year, believes the festival to itive outlook on the life of an actor. “All ent, the downsides of the organisation- receives the attention and considera- be highly important in helping the you ever hear is ‘Don’t go into acting’, so al process can be very limiting; espe- tion it can never quite receive at a full careers of those who pass through, not- it’s great to be somewhere where you cially for those on a student budget. A scale theatre festival. ing that “the NSDF was a vital step in can hear success stories from people large proportion of the work selected If you’d like to see Stone Cold my development” and remarking on who’ve already made it and get away by the NSDF originates in high schools Dead Serious before its hopeful pro- “how many thousands [it must] have from the usual negativity”. Bowry found and sixth form colleges, bodies which gression to the stage at Scarborough, affected in the past 50 years”. the advice from professionals following tend to have funding for such artistic it is running for four nights in the Productions originating here at the performances particularly helpful; ventures. There is a £95 application Drama Barn at the end of Week 6.

PRODUCTION: EPITAPH PRODUCTION: ROBBIN’ HOOD PRODUCTION:WEST SIDE STORY VENUE:THE DRAMA BARN VENUE: CENTRAL HALL VENUE: CENTRAL HALL REVIEW: HELEN CITRON REVIEW: JENNY O’MAHONY REVIEW: STACEY GO ✪✪✪✪✪ ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✪✩

The untimely death of a we witness a brainstorming Panto is a British institution. Stories’, very loosely based On a cold and wet Thursday fierce intensity to the fight woman and the resulting session in which pharmaceu- Judging by the crowds on on ‘War and Peace’, (ie. the night I traipsed over to scenes, and at the same time grief are not, perhaps, the tical representatives consid- the Thursday night I attend- characters in them were Central Hall to see the open- managing to soften the tone obvious subjects for comedy. er naming an ambiguous ed Pantsoc’s production of Russian) had certain mem- ing night of West Side Story, for the romantic moments But Ollie Jones’s production orange pill ‘boobs 'n’ pussy’. Robbin’ Hood, it is also in bers of the audience in tears with the hope that the musi- between Tony (Tom Rogers) of Epitaph at the Drama However, its most effecting rude health among the noto- of laughter. cal would live up to my and Maria (Miranda De Barn had audiences laughing moments come when come- riously fickle student demo- The two villains of the expectations. Luckily, the Silva). from beginning to end. dy chimes darkly with grief, graphic. show, the bestiality fanatic cynic in me was pleasantly The singing was also The play is a series of exposing the depth of loss. The show’s director Will Gisele, played by Marc surprised. excellent, with ‘Maria’ and cleverly linked sketches fol- The intimacy of the Seaward and writers Vestey, and the Sheriff of From the opening act, ‘America’ deserving special lowing friends Cory and Drama Barn and the stage’s Benjamin Welby and Steve Heslingtonshire (Matthew which illustrated the intense mentions for showcasing Warren as they attempt to absence of props or scenery, Henneberry have created a Lacey) had an excellent rap- rivalry between the two war- several voices with excep- cope with the death of save two chairs, meant that a production full of in-jokes port (in more than one ring neighbourhood gangs, tional vocal range. Minor Georgia, a woman they both stumble or missed beat in about top-up fees and con- sense) on stage, and they the Jets and the Sharks, flaws, such as certain actors secretly loved. The character this incredibly fast paced ference guests, as well as stole the show with their West Side Story convincing- occasionally lapsing into an list far outnumbers the cast piece would have been finding space for the more dance scene. ly took the audience back to English accent and the list, requiring the two actors painfully noticeable, ruining traditional panto conven- The show’s supporting life in the backstreets of dance sequences not being to constantly flit between the dazzling fluidity and off- tions, such as men in dresses cast gave it their all, and 1950s New York. quite synchronised, did not colourful roles, including an beat comedy of the writing. and screams of “He’s behind Robin himself, played by From wise-cracking Riff detract from the overall overdramatic French travel However, Nikolaus you!” Rebecca Chalk, negotiated (Oliver Regan) to hapless superb performance. agent and a rather ignorant Morris and Chris Bush pro- Of course, there were the fine balance between Officer Krupke (Chris Gripping and energetic, doctor. vided flawless performances, generous helpings of what masculine and feminine Rowett), both major and ‘West Side Story’ is some- Epitaph’s wit is bril- injecting complex scenes York does best: pure, with gusto. If this panto had minor characters displayed thing that promises to liven liantly absurd, highlighting, with spontaneity and captur- unadulterated lunacy. Cut to one moral, it was simply enthusiasm and flair in per- up an otherwise boring for example, the lunacy of ing the moments of beauti- the scene changes, where the this: cross-dressing is always forming their roles. The cast night, even for cynics like our consumerist society as fully dark comedy perfectly. director’s very own ‘Toilet the answer. lit up the stage, lending a me. M20 Previews 13/02/07 MusicPreviews

SHOW: JARVIS COCKER SHOW: SIGNAL FAILURE SAM VENUE:THE PLUG, SHEFFIELD VENUE: LEEDS BRUDNELL SOCIAL PREVIEW: ROBIN SEATON CLUB NOBLE DATE: 15 + 16/02/07 PREVIEW: OLIVER ELLIOTT Don’t let the man ✪✪✪✪✪ DATE: 15/2/07 ✪✪✪✪✪ get you down Jarvis returns! Again! This time, not only has he lost the glow-in-the-dark skeleton suit of On the 15 February, iLiKETRAiNS, the bril- The music industry would have the music- Relaxed Muscle but his surname has also liant Leeds post rock band and caps lock buying public believe that ‘illegal’ downloads been discarded. Fortunately, his ability to mavericks, host a night showcasing their are killing their industry. Yes, you there, poor craft anthemic choruses and create vignettes favourite new bands from around Britain. student: by downloading MP3s, you’re bring- in a few couplets remains intact, as owners of Although a performance by the band itself is ing the fifty-year-old thriving British indus- the new album Jarvis will already be well unlikely, with a hand picked line-up let’s just try to its knees with a gun to its overgrown aware. say chances are you won’t be disapointed. head by the mere stroke of an enter key. So Once again, Jarvis is working with Pulp First on the bill are Maps, a curious mix- while you hesitate over whether to download, guitarist Richard Hawley, the second time ture of post-rock ambience and lo-fi produc- stuck in a moral quandary over actively sup- they have collaborated since Pulp went ‘on tion, with three sought-after singles released porting gangsters and pirates, perhaps we hiatus’ in 2002, but these gigs should prove so far to much acclaim. The Early Years, on should entertain a crazy idea and acknowl- something of a contrast to Jarvis’s most the other hand, offer a purer and gentler, but edge the truth. recent musical outing, performing ‘Do the Jarvis can have his chip and eat it too just as varied, sound, with carefully orches- CD sales have, in fact, increased steadily Hippogriff’ with most of Radiohead in 2005’s trated psychedelic guitars, droney drums and since the late nineties. Our downloading has Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. affirmed phenomenon; the Long Blondes, swirling synths. Their self-titled debut was hardly dented the rapidly rising graphs that Concerns that Jarvis may be less rele- among many others, bear plenty of the hall- released back in September to a very warm the labels’ share-holders read with delight; vant now than during Pulp’s Britpop heyday marks of their Sheffield forebearers, in a reception from the music press. cigar in hand. Thanks to Tesco, Asda and the are not unreasonable, but really they were chain of observational wit that goes back However, the main draw of the night like, 80% of all CD sales now occur at the never a part of the movement in the same through Pulp to The Jam and beyond. will be the new band: Troubles. Despite shar- supermarket checkout at a cheap price that way that Oasis or Blur were. As it is, the These two sold out hometown gigs (the ing four of the same members as the now no record shop can compete with. songs on Jarvis are probably more of their one on the 15th added, inevitably ‘by popular defunct Hope Of the States, the newbies have Major labels quickly realised that the moment than almost any record currently on demand’) at the Plug, a mere two and a half a fairly different sound. Godspeed-like music-buying public would never consider release, from the gloriously New Labour- miles from Jarvis’s Nether Edge Hospital soundscapes dominate and the slightly ques- paying one pound for ‘You’re Beautiful’ when baiting ‘(Cunts are still) Running the World’ birthplace, are sure to be attended by a hard- tionable singing talent of Sam Herlihy is their nefarious neighbour was downloading to the Mondeo Man-goading ‘I Will Kill core Sheffield fanbase (plus the odd southern thankfully absent. On top of all this is a DJ Back To Bedlam for free next door. Ignoring Again’. And all this despite a Velvet fly-by-night) and, for anyone who believes set by Ulrich Schnauss, assorted short films the shareholders’ avaricious pleas, the labels Underground sample forming the backbone wit has a place in pop, will be the highlight of and chess. How could anyone say no to that? went with their commercial sense and decid- of ‘Black Magic’. the year. Tell your housemates, tell your With tickets at just £6, and a pleasingly ed that paying full price for a single track, In any case, the long term influence of friends and, eventually, tell your grandchil- hefty railcard discount, no self-respecting with no artwork, case or CD is short chang- Pulp on British guitar pop is by now an dren: you saw Jarvis Cocker! post-rock fan should miss this. ing the customer. They were right. So don’t pay for it. But as I hesitate over the enter key, thinking of the musical treats I can savour for free, I wonder who, then, pays the price? Are Sam Noble new and exciting bands not getting signed ON THE UP: THE MACCABEES because of my piracy? Are musicians poor, omeone said we to Orlando, following a cage remains as cool as ever about shoes. Elliott enthuses that the tired and homeless as a result of my online sounded like a cross fight with the audacious venue- their recording experience. “An experience was “amazing, theft? If anything, downloading has provided “Sbetween Cliff Richard pinching Justin Timberlake, album should be a snapshot of mind-blowing, they’re the new bands with the much needed exposure and Joy Division”, The they “brought sexy back”. what a band’s doing at the nicest guys ever.” that has boosted their profile earnings. As Maccabees singer Orlando Sitting in the back of their time.” The guys are extremely The Kooks return to Brighton as millionaires Weeks muses, trying to define new, spacious double-decker The snapshot certainly nonchalant about their steadily and Arctic Monkeys limber up for a Glasto their sound. “Cliff Richard used tour bus, the band go on to tell looks promising; selling out building success and prefer to headlining slot, it becomes increasingly diffi- to look really beautiful. Like a me about their forthcoming almost all dates of their current focus on the music, as well as cult to understand how exactly bands are man-boy,” he wistfully laments. debut album due in April, pro- tour, inciting word-for-word keeping it decidedly real from being killed by our naughty, underworld Not that the decade-span- duced by Ben Hillier and singalongs and critical acclaim any notions of scene or genre. stealing antics. There remains to be found an ning, rubber-faced knight’s Stephen Street, who’ve worked to boot. Orlando even does the “We’re pretty anti-social.” example of any band being killed by our col- influence can be heard in the with Elbow, Blur and the colourful and energetic art- Orlando pipes in, “We don’t lective piracy. Oh yeah, because no bands are. band’s quintessentially English, Kaiser Chiefs. Their impres- work, “It’s cheaper and less feel a part of any London or The Dead 60s debut album sales in fact suf- spiky-guitar sound - they sive, air-tight live performanc- arguments that way.” The band, Brighton scene. But it’s not a fered as the Copyright Protection built into sound more like a cross es and catchy songs have man- who toured without drummer conscious effort not to be.” the CD meant the songs could not be copied between the Futureheads and a aged to inveigle the reputable Robert Dylan Thomas on the With their feet firmly on the and therefore shared. happier Interpol. At least their producers: “We wanted it to last two tours (due to a ground, there’s no reason why Maybe the labels just got their verbs sense of humour and candid, sound like the best live show broken arm from a this band can’t be the mythical wrong: downloading is killing/sharing down-to- you could punch up) heroes the Libertines failed to music. Is this an easy mistake to make? Even earth come to.” asked friend be. Exciting our folks were sharing and copying music on nature is But the Elliott times for an tape cassettes, DATs and 8-Tracks in a pre- obvious. band Andrews to inspiring digital age. The debate over downloading According fill his band. seems to me to reveal a slow and reluctant reaction from an old fashioned industry to embracing a new and exciting time for music. Of course, my argument would collapse under a weight of hippy conjecture if CD sales and legal downloads had actually suf- fered because, as music fans, we don’t want our bands to suffer from our inbuilt student economising. Downloading has re-invoked a punk rock ethic in music, spreading the word of many bands without the previously restrict- ing need of major label support, and has bred a generation of over-zealous fans whose pro- lific music tastes threaten to surpass even the mighty Sir John Peel. 13/02/07 Reviews M21 MusicReviews

drums, the extraordinary power and intensi- BAND: EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY ty created by an ordinary and underwhelm- ALBUM: ALL OF A SUDDEN I MISS ing setup typifies the band’s ethos that no SINGLES note should be wasted; every sound should EVERYONE be stretched for maximum musical yield. REVIEW: STEVE GARDNER As a result, All of a Sudden is refreshing- REVIEWS ly organic, and, unlike their previous offer- OUT: 19 FEBRUARY ings, plays like an album rather than a hap- ✪✪✪✪✪ hazard assemblage of instrumentals. BAND: UNION OF KNIVES Not that the classic EITS formula has SINGLE: EVIL HAS NEVER Let’s get this straight: new-rave this is not. been dispensed with. Drums pound and With an average song length of seven-and-a- pound, rising relentlessly as a tremolo- Does the world need more indie bands trying half minutes and an album title more emo picked guitar screeches and scythes through to make dance music? "Genres are so irrele- than your younger sibling’s wonky fringe, All the thick, delay-soaked walls of another. Turn vant!" I hear you scream from your oh-so- of a Sudden I Miss Everyone is a long way up the volume and the rising intensity is cool discotheque. Well then, here's some from the bandwagon. almost unbearable. This is their speciality: more indie with synths and a house beat. Over seven years and four albums, the crescendos to implode your head. There are hypnotically repetitive swirly bits Texan quartet have perfected their brand of And then, about 20 minutes in, relief. and brooding build-up-and-WHAM bits galaxy-sized, emotion-drenched post-rock, The post-climax feels like coming up for air that make it tick along quite nicely. Is this a often in the shadow of their better-known with a huge and desperate gasp. The result- non-rubbish direction The Killers could have contemporaries, Godspeed You! Black ing adrenaline is still present, but now the gone for? Only just. Emperor and Mogwai. But what sets EITS coupling of tenderly stroked guitars and apart from their peers is their lack of bullshit shimmering piano trills creates a near ecstat- BAND: MUMM-RA in a genre ridden with spoken-word samples ic euphoria. SINGLE:WHAT WOULD STEVE DO? and 20-minute feedback freak outs. You Then it’s over: exhausted, both band and won’t even find any lyrics here - Explosions listener sit back, light a cigarette, and rest More synth. More break down/build up bits. in the Sky frankly have never needed them. safe in the knowledge that this is their best But somehow this is really, really great. The Using just two guitars, a bass and work yet. anthemic sing-along chorus with a profusion of ah-ah-ing and the naive yet burningly con- fident vocals of the improbably named Noo means that this is smiling instead of glower- ing, a tune that pogos instead of performing a hairstyle-preserving nod to the beat. What more could you expect from a band named after the baddie from the Thundercats? BAND:WILLY MASON SINGLE: SAVE MYSELF

There's a lot to be angry about at the moment: war, inequality, and, on a more local level, the disintegration of the portering system. So where are all the protest songs? From the incomprehensible moaning of Thom York to the brasher American offering of Neil Young's 'Let's Impeach the President', there's not much new for the demonstrating SHOW: THE NOISETTES BAND:THE SHINS SHOW: CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY crowds to sway to… until now! Willy Mason is back to lull you out of apathy. 'The culture's VENUE:YORK FIBBERS ALBUM: WINCING THE NIGHT AWAY YEAH! drowning in a bad dream', but he is offering REVIEW: STEVEN WILLIAMS REVIEW: KATHRYN BROMWICH VENUE: MANCHESTER ACADEMY you a raft. DATE: SATURDAY 27 JANUARY OUT: NOW REVIEW: STEPHEN MITCHELL BAND: HERMAN DÜNE ✪✪✪✪✩ ✪✪✪✪✩ DATE: FRIDAY 2 FEBRUARY SINGLE: I WISH THAT I COULD SEE ✪✪✪✪✩ YOU SOON Being billed as an ‘Amazonian Warrior with An impossibly cute Natalie Portman saying, Calypso horns, bongos and swaying acoustic an eye for fashion’ or ‘Billie Holiday on PCP’ “You gotta hear this one song, it will change Before the Arctic Monkeys and Lily Allen, guitars evoking flip-flops, sandals and people is something most people would find hard to your life, I swear” is probably the way most of there was Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! Whilst with dreadlocks sitting round campfires live up to. But, for Noisettes singer Shingai us were introduced to The Shins. Garden the former acts found sudden fame and for- could be painfully teasing in arctic York, but Shoniwa, channelling the spirit of a dead jazz State is what The Shins would be if they were tune on the digital gravy train, CYHSY con- the charm of the male/female harmonies and singer on drugs into the body of a fashionista a movie: its contrast of light-heartedness and tented themselves with mild industry recog- chirpy love story of this single means that the suddenly seems somewhat restrained. sadness is essential to their music, and once nition, and built on their own talent and the beach scene actually seems a tantalising pos- Over a set encapsulating most of the again the formula works. strengths of those websites championing sibility. With flavours of Belle and Sebastian band’s forthcoming album, she makes it clear Don’t be fooled by the misleadingly emo their initially self-released debut album. A and 'Graceland'-era Paul Simon, this is a fan- she was born for such gleefully outlandish album title; The Shins are still a delightful year and a half later, it appears their turn has tastic tune for summer dreaming. comparisons. Fresh from an arena tour with combination of happiness and melancholy, finally come. Muse, the Noisettes easily take over Fibbers. albeit with a bleaker twist than 2003’s Much of their hotly anticipated set is BAND: NELLY FURTADO A succession of anthemic singles - ‘Don't Chutes Too Narrow. The sound goes back to unfamiliar, but is far from unrecognisable. SINGLE: SAY IT RIGHT Give Up’, ‘IWE’ and ‘Scratch Your Name’ - their wistful debut Oh, Inverted World, pop- The second song of the evening, the new sin- churn the crowd into a permanent mosh pit. pier than The Magnetic Fields but darker gle ‘Satan Said Dance’, will surely become a Thank God all that Chris Martin nonsense is The biggest eruption of the night, though, is than The Apples in Stereo, and is fundamen- quirky classic to rival the group’s earlier over. It's back to the good stuff with reserved for the old-timey rockabilly of tally uplifting. Feedback and layered elec- work. The performance is brought to life by Timbaland; crunchy beats and barely-there ‘Sister Rosetta’, in which Shingai straddles tronic experimentation have made Wincing an astounding vocal performance: shrill, instrumental accompaniments ripple under the security barrier before crowd-surfing the the first record in Sub Pop’s history to chart nasal cries accompanied by constantly con- floating vocal harmonies. Slower and not as set to a finish. Basing a gig's success on audi- in the Billboard Top 10. No wonder. The vulsing limbs which skip, trip and kick their club-driven as 'Maneater' or 'Promiscuous', ence maiming, the Noisettes can commend opener, ‘Sleeping Lessons’, is an understated way through the set. and apparently inspired by the Eurythmics, themselves on leaving my friend resembling dark gem, ‘Australia’ is pure chirpy delight, The unmistakable favourites ‘The Skin this song captures a different side to the col- a victim of domestic abuse. and the single ‘Phantom Limb’ is almost a of My Yellow Country Teeth’ and ‘In This laboration, with a subtlety that the current Wondrously, they're also quite happy to poem. Home On Ice’ are met with bouts of crowd- crop of British popsters can only dream of. ply their adoring fans with alcohol, leading The album’s beautifully bittersweet with surfing and general pandemonium. As the me to a rather drunken purchase of a t-shirt an overall atmosphere that’s poetic and mes- band retreat to the still-pulsating sonic Singles this week were reviewed by Ben more suited to an anorexic stunted hobbit merising. Life-changing they perhaps aren’t, effects of the previous song, it is difficult to Rackstraw, Sara Sayeed, Steve Gardner than an actual human being. Ah well, you but their enchanting melodies are still some- recall an encore more enthusiastically and Oliver Elliot. can't have everything. thing to treasure. requested or ecstatically received. M22 Film 13/02/07 OscarsReviews EDITOR’S FILM: BABEL his goats. In California, a Mexican DIRECTOR: ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ nanny is taking care of two white INARRITU children and desperately trying to COMMENT find a substitute babysitter so that STARRING: BRAD PITT she can go to her son’s wedding CATE BLANCHETT across the border. In Morocco, the The REVIEW: STEPH CREWES children’s parents are attempting RUNTIME: 142 MIN to revive their failing marriage. David Filmmaking The innocence of the shep- Coates ✪✪✪✪✩ herd’s two sons, who show off by Soc shooting at a lone tour bus on the Babel is a powerful, mesmerising road below, unleashes a tragic Each term, the York Filmmaking and unsettling film. It’s named chain of events as a stray bullet hits Society produces a number of after the biblical Tower of Babel, Susan, asleep on the bus. With no high-quality short and feature- the story of God punishing the medical supplies and fears of a ter- length films, made on a shoestring Tower’s arguing builders by giving rorist attack, it detours to the near- budget by a student cast and crew. them different languages, making est village. The way the American This time around, the society it impossible to understanding one tourists react to the villagers as all is doing some exciting work. One another. 21 Grams director being potential terrorists is fright- film investigates the nature of fic- Alejandro González Iñárritu brings eningly narrow-minded. tion and the artist’s struggle to beautiful lyricism to this multifac- The most fascinating and psy- realise his or her place in a world eted narrative about the imperfec- chologically painful episode in increasingly averse to the imagina- tion of human communication and Babel concerns Yasujiro in Tokyo, tion, while others have slightly the consequences of one gun. the young daughter of the gun’s lighter ambitions. The film interweaves several original owner. Her experience of So far this term, the storylines, each of which could trying to communicate with a Filmmaking Society has made have been individual films. hearing boy who she really likes is Angel Wings, Puppet Master Soc, American tourists Richard and portrayed beautifully and Yakusho misunderstood she must be. rounding the film was misleading, and Tomorrow’s Superstars, Susan (Brad Pitt and Cate is a revelation. The difficulty she faces is an focusing on its Hollywood stars amongst others. Blanchett) can’t communicate with Indeed, when she goes with expansion of the paradox at the Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, when Angel Wings involves a writer local Moroccan villagers, Mexican her friends to a local club and the crux of Babel. Though humans the film is so much more than suffering a crisis of confidence, nanny Amelia (Adriana Barraza) is camera films from her perspective, around the world can be so con- them; theirs is the least interesting who decides that his success is due misunderstood by American police the sudden cut from numbingly nected, they are separated by the segment. Though confusing at to the intervention of a guardian and young Japanese girl Yasujiro loud music to absolute silence is prejudices that come with speaking times, Babel, like last year’s Best angel, and fears he will not be (Kôji Yakusho) is unable to tell a striking. Dancers around her adopt a different language and being of a Picture winner Crash, is an impor- capable of surviving alone. boy she likes him because she is absurd meanings as they gyrate to different race, as the Mexican tant film for what it teaches us Puppet Master Soc features a deaf and mute. some unknown beat. It is over- nanny experiences. about the frailty of human misun- conspiracy theory that alleges the Babel opens with a Moroccan whelming as the viewer realises The acting in Babel is harrow- derstanding. I left the cinema feel- government is controlled by a merchant buying a rifle to protect how she must feel and how utterly ingly captivating. Yet publicity sur- ing completely dismantled. group of ‘ooglatis’ and uncovers a most terrifying truth: they control Filmmaking Soc. The trauma of change and growing up is the cen- FILM: THE DEPARTED FILM: LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE tral theme of Tomorrow’s DIRECTOR: MARTIN SCORSESE DIRECTOR: JOHNATHAN DAYTON Superstars, as a group of 20-some- things are followed through the STARRING: LEONARDO DICAPRIO VALERIE FARIS dreams of their youth into the MATT DAMON STARRING: GREG KINNEAR harsh reality of the world at large. JACK NICHOLSON TONI COLLETTE For those with cinematic MARK WAHLBERG REVIEW: ROBERT PERKINS ambition, there are still plenty of REVIEW: KATHRYN BROMWICH opportunities to get involved with RUNTIME: 101 MIN the society this term, which shoots RUNTIME: 151 MIN ✪✪✪✪✪ throughout the year. This week, ✪✪✪✪✩ casting will be held for the fasci- The Academy Awards have a nating new film Red Light. The One of 2006’s best-loved movies, notable tendency to favour issue plot is driven by a request from the Scorsese’s latest is one to bet money films, conscience prickers or histor- lead character’s psychiatrist that on for Oscar night. With more ical biopics, and these genres are he keep a video diary to monitor emphasis on dialogue than action, indeed handsomely represented his emotions. The diary docu- it explores the psychology behind this year. Little Miss Sunshine, ments his growing depression as hate and criminality while supply- however, is the surprise inclusion - he loses his job and finds his girl- ing all the macho police talk and the dark horse. friend sleeping with his best graphic violence you could wish for. Emerging from the Sundance friend. Featuring intense dialogue Rife with deceit, secret identities, Film Festival, it is an oddball com- and gripping drama, it is worth indistinct allegiances and misguid- he appears in and DiCaprio’s acting edy following a massively dysfunc- lar is hilarious - the embodiment of getting involved in this project. ed morals, Scorsese gives us a tour de force matches his perform- tional family’s roadtrip to growing old ungracefully. He pro- Contact Dominique at clever, fast-paced plot, sharp dia- ance in The Aviator. California to enter daughter Olive vides the main body of humour in a [email protected] to get on logue, understated humour and The numerous murders and in a national beauty pageant. Its plot that is rarely contrived or board. lots of suspense. grim surroundings are livened up phenomenally high-calibre cast all forced in its comedy. Also currently casting is Billy Costigan (Leonardo by the upbeat soundtrack, ranging excel in their portrayals of a nucle- The plot may be unremark- Immortality, a dark 20-minute DiCaprio) is an undercover cop from Pink Floyd to opera to Irish us of, frankly, losers. able and even predictable, but the glimpse into a future in which age- infiltrating Boston’s underworld folk-punk, filling the movie with an It is hard to single out one per- storyline is not this movie’s appeal. ing has been eliminated. who is so convincing that he gets energetic life force and making it formance for special praise. Sunshine’s sympathetic portrayals Influenced by retro sci-fi and mod- away with ordering cranberry juice an ultimately uplifting experience. Kinnear and Collette maintain of its dysfunctional characters ern westerns, it tells a gripping in grotty bars. Colin Sullivan (Matt Sadly, Matt Damon’s exaggerated their traditional high standards, makes its tone at once wistful, story of three men whose lives are Damon) is an altar boy-cum- overacting and the somewhat Paul Dano is an emerging comedy touching, bittersweet and full of about to change. For casting infor- policeman who is passing informa- ignorable love triangle subplot talent, and Steve Carell is massively heart. It is reminiscent of The mation, get in touch with tion to the villains. As each detract from the whole, but not impressive as the suicidal Frank, in Royal Tenenbaums or Sideways [email protected]. attempts to figure out the other’s irredeemably. a performance of economy and except far, far funnier. All films made this year will identity, things get intricate, espe- The scenes are beautifully nuance that is a world away from This film is not groundbreak- be played at a special viewing at cially when über-evil yet avuncular shot, capturing the grime and his painfully energetic performanc- ing or daring, and it does not con- CityScreen at the end of the sum- Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) glamour of crime, and the build-up es of the Frat Pack inclination. form to the stereotypes of Oscar mer term, and then recorded onto enters the picture. to the finale through the network The shining lights of the film, nominees for Best Film. It is, how- DVD. For more information about The acting is superb; of doubt and cover-ups is tremen- however, come from the extreme ever, a beautifully told story and a making or acting in student cine- Nicholson is a memorable mob dous. Star-studded, epic and gritty ends of the age-spectrum in Olive simply brilliant movie that thor- ma, the society’s website is boss, potty-mouthed Dignam in feel, The Departed has all the (Abigail Breslin) and Grandpa oughly deserves its nomination, www.filmisthetruth.co.uk. (Mark Wahlberg) steals every scene makings of a modern cult classic. (Alan Arkin). Grandpa in particu- and maybe even the Award itself. M23 Reviews 13/02/07 Food&DrinkReviews can have it served to you with a ladle that the RESTAURANT: PRETENTION Crown Prince of Uzbekakistan once used to ADDRESS:THE SUPER-POSH BIT OF bring his father to orgasm). As a little snack, treasurer Rodney Anal-Lovesitt requested a STONEGATE platter of nachos, a controversial choice until AVE. FOOD PRICE: £7000 it emerged that the nachos were not made of corn, but dodo egg shells - all the more deli- AVE. DRINK PRICE: £5-10,000 cious for being so rare and valuable that eat- REVIEW: LUCY PEDEN ing them is probably illegal. They were ✪✪✪✩✩ accompanied by a medley of guacamole- esque jus based on the tears of the absinthe As president of Rah Soc, I frequently bemoan fairy, and a salsa of tomatoes picked by only the lack of pretentious dining establishments the most educated orphans of the southern in York. Before I lived here I had no idea it Mexican provinces. As a privileged person, I was possible to roast a pine nut inefficiently, was touched by the bravery of their plight. I have searched in vain for a single malt Then I stuffed my face with it. Thomasina whisky over 30 years of age and cocktail Inbred-Pederast was dismayed when she prices are so insultingly low as to imply that spilled some on her furry rah-boot, but one of WHICH LOVE York is full of (avert your eyes if you are easi- the servants (although apparently they prefer ly shocked) poor people. So when I heard to be called ‘waiting staff’) immediately fell to about a new restaurant called Pretention, I his knees and licked it off, which we all TOKEN? thought we had found a venue for our socials. thought was a charming touch. Pretention is a members-only bar but Pretention is not without its flaws. Normally Nouse abhors a cliché like the pub- naturally Daddy knows the main stakeholder, There is a little too much glass and chrome to lic abhors Heather Mills McCartney. so getting in was not a problem. Our secre- be suitable to entertain Mater and Pater and However, even we must acknowledge that tary, Esmerelda Muff-Manger, ordered a bot- some of the ‘staff’ have clearly never had an Valentine's Day is approaching, and you had tle of vintage Bollinger ’78 at a bargainlicious elocution lesson. Still, we had a lovely time, better buy your lover a present or there will £500. (For an extra ten thousand pounds you and the bill was well under a million pounds. be no sexytime for you. We therefore trekked all the way to Costcutter in search of treats to tempt even RESTAURANT: CAESAR’S PUB:THE BLACK BULL BAR: KOKO the shyest of lovers out of their shell this ADDRESS: GOODRAMGATE ADDRESS: HULL ROAD ADDRESS: GOODRAMGATE Wednesday; here is what we found. AVE. FOOD PRICE: £8 AVE. FOOD PRICE: £3.50 AVE. FOOD PRICE: N/A TREAT: FROZEN PEAS AVE. DRINK PRICE: £3 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £2 AVE. DRINK PRICE: £2.50 PRICE: £0.79 REVIEW: ISABEL BUXTON REVIEW: BERTIE DAY REVIEW:VICKY HALLAM If you are going out with a bird who just ✪✩✩✩✩ ✪✪✪✩✩ ✪✪✪✩✩ won't shut the hell up when she's told, or if you're a member of the hockey team, you might be the type who likes to speak the lan- guage of love with your fists. No, we're not talking about obscure sexual practices, but domestic violence, which we do not condone in any way because it is very bad. However, if you do have a tendency to smack your bitch up, you might like to present them with a bag of frozen peas on 14 February to hold against their heads until the swelling goes down. Those who don't know their own strength might like to invest in the extra large 400 gram bag. It’s a little more expensive at £1.29, but if you really love them...

TREAT: LOVE HEARTS PRICE: £0.25 Love Hearts, 25p for a ‘giant pack’. Sadly, a My friends and I ended up in Caesar’s Italian Right in the heart of student-land, the Black I’d forgotten to put the lid on the smoothie 'giant pack' is not some sort of crazy Restaurant last Saturday lunch time. I had Bull is ideally placed to become the new maker again. Covered in banana residue and pimped-up pack with Love Hearts the size adventurously suggested Caesar’s as an alter- Charles or Deramore once you’ve moved off in a state of strawberry confusion, I remem- of frisbees, but roughly the same weight as a native to my usual trusted favourite, La campus. The pub is split up into a formal bered that I could enjoy both the fruity good- pack of fruit pastilles or wine gums, approx- Piazza. An unwise decision on my part, it restaurant (don't bother) and a slouchy area ness and alcoholic privileges of a fruit beer imately the height of a Cindy doll with its soon emerged. of squishy sofas and chairs to sink into. courtesy of KoKo, York’s newest watering head ripped off. They are the confectionery A bad impression was established the Before 4pm it is generally swarming with an hole. item of choice for the mute romantic, as they moment we walked into the restaurant. An odd mix of children and pensioners, but once Okay, Fruli may not count towards my express every sentiment for you - you need open canteen-style kitchen towards the back they're gone it is relaxed, comfortable and five-a-day, but it went down an absolute only open your mouth to chew. Sexy slogans of the dining room revealed a plethora of well worth a visit. treat. The international bar lived up to its found on recent Love Hearts include “hey bored-looking chefs, who regarded our Food is cheap with large portions; the name by providing a wide selection of beers buddy” and “u r ok”. arrival into their domain with the disdainful cheesy nachos starter was certainly enough and spirits from around the world; I was expressions of people for whom, clearly, the for two. I had a barbecue burger stack, served highly amused by the prospect of buying TREAT: WHITE STRIKE customer is never right. with chips and a side salad - not exactly some Knob Creek. Misguided by my own PRICE: £1.99 The waiter too was one of those charm- haute-cuisine but for a baked bean-abused amusement, I realised that although this bar less individuals whose service provision con- palate it hit the spot. It was standard pub fare may have an excellent range of funny sound- If your other half isn’t up to scratch visually, sisted of alternately ignoring and leering at but for only £3.45 it was a great deal. They ing alcoholic beverages, it had missed a real then two litres of White Strike should do the us for the duration of the meal. At one point, also offer two meals for £6 available between opportunity to endorse the ‘international fac- trick, providing the ultimate beer-goggle I asked for tap water and was met with a 2.30pm and 6pm on weekdays. As you would tor’; in actual fact, the only thing internation- experience. You will be overcome by an unre- long-suffering glare followed by the failure of expect, the menu includes all the usual sus- al about it was the owner and it’s drinks. I lenting urge to take your lover down to Tang said tap water to arrive until we were well pects, including the Kaiser Soze soup. just couldn’t decide what it was trying to be. Hall common and give them a jolly good see- into the main course. If you're looking to warm-up before a The modern-looking booths only served to ing-to. Hopefully, if the powers of Strike The food arrived suspiciously quickly night of debauchery, Monday's discount make me feel uneasy, forcing me to sit bolt have turned you into a love machine, your (I’m sure I heard the ‘ding’ of a microwave as offers (£1.50 a pint rather than £1.80) makes upright, as if reminding me that I wasn’t sup- lover will remain by your side until morning it emerged) and my tortellini alla calabresi the Black Bull the obvious choice for the posed to stay for long. to nurse your almighty hangover. Next time, was bland and sorely overpriced. In short: financially challenged. New additions to the Despite my qualms, I will be going to choose more wisely - and that doesn’t go for bad atmosphere, poor service and distinctly drinks menu make it a great time to check KoKo again. It will have to up its game to stay your drink. average food. I would implore you to save out the Bull - just go steady on the sickly busy but it has the potential to do great your money and go to La Piazza. sweet Baileys Chocolate Cup! things, even if it is just with fruit beer. Vicky Hallam and Lucy Peden M24 Listings 13/02/07

Clockwise from top left: York transported to the Middle Ages; Odin Dragonfly performing; Battle of the Bands semi-finalists Playing for Keeps; Gaspard Ulliel as the infamous cannibal in Hannibal Rising Live Music Campus Events Sunday February 18 Saturday March 3, 8:00 Saturday February 17 Saturday February 24 Odin Dragonfly, Fibbers Chunky Butt Funky, The Wardrobe, Leeds Battle of the Bands Final, Vanbrugh International Week Fiesta Chilled female vocals over various accom- Soulful, funky blues that will make you want Starting at 9pm and with bars until 2am, Most people's favourite part of celebrating paniments, influenced by the likes of Kate to break out the harmonicas and sing about watch York's finest duke it out for the hon- different cultures: loads of food from all Bush, Stevie Nicks and Tori Amos. how your woman done left you and took oured position. Come along and support over the world! Bound to be an impressive Support from Hijak Oscar and Sarah your dog. your favourites, and if your favourites didn't (and delicious) spread. Who says you need Dean. £8 at the door, £7 in advance. get through, come for a drink and a giggle to get out of York to experience the world? Monday February 26 anyway. Wednesday February 21 Third Conduct, Fibbers Thursday March 1 Levi's One to Watch presents Air Traffic, A pop-punk trio formed by three local sis- Friday February 23 Comedy Night, Wentworth Fibbers ters. Formulaic yet fun, in the way only good Xtra Live, Halifax The time is once again nigh for the thrice- Piano-led indie. Catch them on the brink pop-punk can be. Support from good friends If Battle of the Bands left you wanting more, termly comedy night hosted in Wentworth of take-off having recently appeared on The Nicoles as well as Redgate and Kafka. Halifax bar JJ’s is hosting a night of live by The Other Side Comedy Club. Having Jools Holland and supported Snow Patrol. Proceeds from the show go to music from York. Running from 9pm until previously drawn such renowned figures as Support from the catchy Snowfight in the Candlelighters, fighting child cancer. Door late, tickets are £4, except for those lucky Tom Wrigglesworth, this is bound to be City Centre. Door £8, £7 in advance. £4, save a pound with a flyer. holders of the Xtra VIP card. worth the trek to the other side of the lake. Art and Performance Cinema February 14-18 March 7 and 9, 7:45pm, 10 March, 2:30pm After the Wedding Hot Fuzz Jorvik Viking Festival The Madman and the Nun, York Theatre A Danish film with a Dogma-style feel, The Shaun of the Dead team reunites with The Jorvik festival is five days of Viking Royal Susanne Bier and screenwriter Anders a fresh batch of characters and a barrel-full themed shenanigans inluding craft and Examining over-sensitive beings who are Thomas Jensen come together to produce a of laughs. Simon Pegg plays a cop who is musical activities, stilt-walkers, saga- obsessively devoted to art, this follows the beautiful and painful account of family rela- shipped off to the village of Sanford. tellers, and of course, the Viking proces- experiments of two psychiatrists on their tions, personal struggles, and idealism in the Everything appears normal aside from a sion through the streets. patient. Darkly funny and disturbing in its face of everything. few missing swans until a local couple die questions about the sanity of the artist and in a suspicious car accident. March 6, 8 and 10 at 7:45pm the treatment of insane people. Music and Lyrics 4.48 Psychosis, York Theatre Royal Hugh Grant stars as a has-been former boy- Hannibal Rising Explores a breakdown from the point of March 23-25 band member living off appearances for Attempting to explain the beginnings of view of a severe bipolar disorder sufferer. York Open Gallery middle-aged women. When a star wants our favourite cannibal, Hanibal Rising Blurs the lines between reality and imagi- In this annual event around the city, artists him to write a song for her (Haley Bennett) pegs it all on his sister’s being murdered nation, and between the self and the out- open their houses and studios for visitors he can't quite get the lyrics right until and eaten by the SS in war-torn Lithuania. side world. Harrowing in its suggestion of and buyers. Meet artists and attend demon- Sophie (Drew Barrymore) comes along and With no real motive given, Hannibal just the sacrifices made to 'survive' in society. strations. Details at whatsonyork.com. helps him out. It's good, for a rom-com. becomes an over-eager vigilante.

SPONSORED BY SNAPPY SNAPS Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Comment Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13th 2007 Amnesty and apathy The Rustlers of retail Students ought to call the shots in Bearing badges is simply not enough overpriced campus shops

beneficial to Amnesty's highlight a specific issue, namely in Sainsburys. Ben Martin cause and hence demon- the limits imposed on the freedom However, this is posi- Contributing Writer strate that I have “done my of movement of Palestinians, to a Jenny O’Mahony tively generous on bit”. public and student body that might Deputy Editor Costcutter’s part compared Amnesty International otherwise turn a blind eye. Even if, to its spaghetti. Priced at is one of the world's leading as Nouse has reported, many of only 30p for 500g in human rights organisations. York's Saturday shoppers failed to Budgens, it retails at 95p for It campaigns to uphold the values quite grasp the point of the exer- the same amount in All of us have a wealth of good that are most important to all of us, cise, and were in fact a little bewil- Costcutter. That is a mark-up of intentions: it’s only natural for the and has succeeded in bringing to dered, Amnesty’s actions have Convenience is a mixed blessing. more than 300% for a product of young and aspirant to want to do light some of the world’s most glar- made it clear that there exists a Take microwaveable meals: they’re exactly the same quality, and for some good. Turning altruism into ing instances of injustice. cadre within our University who tasty, quick and require a minimum what reason? action is, however, another matter Many people scoff at their tac- passionately care about justice. amount of effort to prepare. Market forces, children. entirely, with the best laid plans to tics, asking what good could possi- This can only be a good thing. However, they have made the peo- Costcutter opens during the holi- 'make a difference' falling foul to bly come from letter-writing and If only I could get around the ple of Great Britain obese, flatulent, days, and as there are so few stu- essays, Facebook and the irre- pantomimic protesting. Such peo- fact that I'd rather have a nice long lazy and chronically poor at cook- dents around during these periods sistable lure of daytime television. ple, I would argue, entirely misun- lie-in than traipse round the ing for themselves. of time, the demonic blond boy How many of us walked past derstand Amnesty's raison d'être. Shambles in an orange jump suit, Market Square, and in partic- plastered on the front of the store the Amnesty International stall at Amnesty's protest in York last that I still much prefer the taste of ular Costcutter, is the Rustlers and his ilk make very little profit. the Freshers' fair, signed on to their Saturday against human rights vio- beer to that of the triumph of jus- Burger of the retail market; it wins The solution? I propose that mailing list with wistful visions of lations in the Gaza Strip is a case in tice, then I might convert my admi- prizes for neither appearance nor we scrap Costcutter, and simply Aung Sang Suu Kyi in our minds, point. Students dressing up as ration of Amnesty’s work into con- value. The upper half of the com- retain Blackwells, which could be and have, to date, not attended a members of the Israeli Defence certed, active involvement on their plex is a desolate set of battered, extended upstairs, whilst incorpo- single meeting? Force and standing guard over behalf. Until then, I've always got empty buildings, with Stationery rating groceries into the existing I myself am guilty of believing improvised checkpoints are, quite my badge, and no-one can take that Box soon to be included in this Your:Shop. Contracts with local that my mere Inbox-association clearly, not going to bring resolu- away from me… landscape. Below, Costcutter's mas- businesses, like butchers and veg- with Amnesty, and my "Protect the tion to the conflict between Israel cot in a bowl cut: the six-foot high etable farmers, could be used to human" badge, are in some way and Palestine. What they can do is head of a young boy, jaws open, supply fresh local produce to the daring you from behind glass to university, thereby creating a sus- approach and sample his question- tainable link with the community. able wares. Meat would be provided which Relocation, relocation, relocation Of course, aesthetics aren’t didn’t look a uniform grey colour everything. So what about cost- regardless of the animal it came A sense of belonging in Bleachfield? effectiveness? Perhaps a sample of from! Vegetables wouldn’t rot on price comparisons would prove the way home! Being entirely stu- useful here. dent run, closure during the holi- In Tesco, a 450g box of Rice days would be a viable option, or affect college identity, and eighty percent of Vanbrugh freshers Krispies is 87p. Costcutter will else opening hours could be signifi- Tom Simon-Norris (dare I speak of such a neb- will be scattered a considerable dis- charge you £1.99 for the same cantly reduced. Contributing Writer ulous concept) ‘college spir- tance from Vanbrugh itself. This product. Surely convenience and quali- it’? Well, hopefully, not seems to me like a very odd way to Mushrooms are £3.65/kilo in ty are not mutually exclusive on much at all. There were apply York’s ‘college-based’ philoso- Costcutter, but a mere £2.28/kilo campus? those who thought ‘Valcuin’ phy. Surely it would have been bet- would be the beginning of ter to retain blocks A, B and C as My old bedroom is now an office. the end for Vanbrugh, but this has the epicentre of the Vanbrugh stu- However, it could have been worse: certainly not been the case. dent population, and move my housemate’s old bedroom is Hopefully the University will do the Linguistics, Languages and the now the corner of a foyer. In the sensible thing and call the Computing Service out to the space where he (and the many Bleachfield blocks something like Bleachfield site (with new accom- other students before him) once ‘Vanbrugh Gardens’ (which sounds modation too, perhaps). slept now stands a lonely pot plant, rubbish at first, until you remember What is vital to Vanbrugh is amid bland, sub-IKEA decor. we already have the ridiculous the retention of A and B blocks as I am talking about the newly ‘Vanbrugh Paradise’) and thus cre- student accommodation. Although refurbished Vanbrugh C block. ate a sense of belonging. at present there are no plans to the Although my nostalgic feelings are However, a worry does remain, contrary, this possibility requires irrelevant, they led me to wonder: and it concerns the underlying no stretch of the imagination in with the Bleachfield project now structure behind the York College what is increasingly perceived as a underway, where, save for “round system. One of the key factors in my business and conference-driven the back of biology”, is Vanbrugh decision to come to York was that university. If the whole of Vanbrugh college going? each college seemed like a self-con- is turned into neutral office and Obviously, the plush new tained community, centred on a teaching space, then what will the Bleachfield accommodation can nucleus of local facilities (bar, JCR, bar and JCR end up as? only enhance the college, and the events hall, laundry, porters, cafete- With Heslington East on the re-instatement of a Vanbrugh ria, welfare services). York colleges horizon it is all the more important Laundry has been far too long com- are supposed to be more than the to recognise what is valuable about ing. Thankfully, judging by the average university ‘Hall’, and this is the current campus and collegiate plans, there will be a genuine com- especially important given the system. Re-development is all very munity feel, with the six blocks absence of a central Union venue. well, but on its current approach, arranged round a central area. However, upon completion of the University stands to lose a lot of Seconds later, she was devoured. (Photo: Sam Thomas) But how will all the changes the Bleachfield project around what makes York special. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 13 Letters Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007

Nouse welcomes your letters. Please indicate if they are not intended for Nicky Woolf publication. We may edit them for brevity. Email socs12 or write to: Goes way back Letters Nouse, Grimston House, Vanbrugh College By the time you read this, RAG week will be over. With any luck, they will have achieved, or at least come close to, their record-break- A slice of the sausage? ing target of £15,000- which even by nation- Star Letter Dear Nouse, al standards is a splendid achievement! I am surprised that York Vision has not Congratulations all round to Kate Jeffries’ Dear Sir, would not at all consider identifying as yet properly addressed our concerns on the RAG team for all their hard work in organis- chavs. Nor is a chav necessarily working closure of many portering lodges. Their latest ing such a successful week. The criticism of the "Chav D" event class. The term "unworking class" has edition merely contained a short article enti- The RAG committee in 1974, however, in the recent article "Stop chavving a been coined as a synonym, and one only tled “Croker: 24 hour portering must stay”. were entirely more ambitious than today’s. laugh" (January 23rd 2007, p. 12) is has to flick through "Heat" or "Hello" for From the very start of this term, the Nouse of March 14th, 1974, told a tale not underpinned by one fundamental, and examples of people revelling in chav cul- University’s admin, in the name of lack of just of charity balls and parades, but also of unfortunately incorrect, assumption. It ture as a decidedly profitable career. staff, has closed several colleges’ receptions an audacious sting operation that rivalled the supposes an equivalence between a rela- The article has the right sentiments with a promise of reopening them after Great Train Robbery for drama. Nouse tells a tively new creation, the "chav", and a in "[looking] at solutions [...] rather than Easter. But recent developments clearly show story of several Langwith students, apparent- much older concept, the "working class". laughing at the dress sense of the working that they are testing our reaction by ’slicing ly grown tired of the campus-based RAG The term "working class", present classes." Yet in this confusion of terms, it the sausage’. If we remain silent on this mat- events, who decide to take matters drastical- since at least 1850, refers variously to itself unfairly and ignorantly insults this ter, the reopening in April may merely be a ly into their own hands. those without means of production, work- entire subset of the population. At the lip service; the shut-downs might become They set off purposefully in the wee ing in manual jobs for a wage, or to those same time, it flatters chavs– a culture glo- permanent and a further reduction of facili- small hours of the afternoon in convoy, “two within families of this description. The rying ignorance and petty criminality– as ties will follow. cars and one van,” in the direction of Hull term "chav", according to the OED present deserving of sympathy, where perhaps in Porters are important to our security University. “Meanwhile,” Nouse continues since around 1998, refers to a subculture its place a good dosage of mockery and and welfare and a facility promised in the “back at H.Q. two other Langwithians were defined by brash or loutish behaviour, a contempt– Chav D– is in order. prospectus before we chose to apply to this phoning Hull, on the pretext that they were typical mode of dress, and respect for lack Yours faithfully, so-call ‘collegiate university’. representatives of the Leeds student newspa- of an education or job. Please can both student newspapers per. Having obtained the information A working class person, then, is by no James Harrison Fisher, Langwith College have a proper response to this matter? required, they relayed it to the means necessarily a chav. The under- Edward Evans, Derwent College commando unit.” signed would consider themselves, upon Jack Chen Their target was economic status, as working class, but PhD student Steve Green, the newly- elected President of Hull sentation is vast. It is crucial that the right University’s SU. Green, people are present to do this. The Toby Awards blissfully unaware of his Rich Croker The coming elections will give you the Dear Nouse, danger, walked outside to SU President chance to be part of the workings of the I want to compliment Toby Green on a answer a paged message- Union. The life of an officer, no matter which very well written piece on the issue of homo- and , quick as a flash, he area you are in, is unbelievably varied and sexuality and Christian faith: "Praying for was “bundled into the wait- confronts you with a whole host of experi- recognition" (January 23 2007. M10). I ing car,” which sped off, as a ences. Don’t let someone tell you it isn’t the thought it was balanced and fair, and certain- red herring, in the direction of Leeds. “The done thing for a fresher to run or that you ly wasn't attempting to grab a headline or message was then phoned into Langwith; As we approach the SU elections again, the won’t win because you aren’t as well known provoke in any way. ‘Mission Accomplished.’” current portering situation highlights how as someone else. Experience is a valuable I hope it was clear, during your research, After what must have been a confusing important the collective Union is in decision asset for any position, although it isn’t a pre- that we are open and willing to engage these and scary afternoon for the hapless making. Over the past few years I have been requisite for being elected; ideas and enthu- and any issues affecting students lives. As you President, a car was sent to Langwith to col- asked why people should vote and how it siasm are crucial factors as well. Seize the know, this is not an easy subject. Where we lect him, along with the handsome sum of affects them. The truth is, the Union affects opportunity and do what you want to do. can make substantial comment together, we twenty-five pounds, sterling. This ransom everyone during their time at University. Over the next few weeks you’ll see a host will. As I've already said, we do not always duly paid, Steve Green was released in per- The Union is more than just a facilitator of manifesto posters- don’t just vote for agree, but choose to work together. fect health (though probably a bit grumpy). for societies and clubs, a way to improve your someone because their poster looks nice or Articles on issues like this make a contri- The ransom was handed ceremoniously to CV through volunteering and charity work, they’re a friend of a friend. Take time to read bution to the debate, by polarising the parties Ivor Borkin, the then-RAG chairman, at the or a number of welfare campaigns. However, what they want to do and what they have involved, or helping them understand each end of the RAG parade, and sent to charity. the value of these cannot and should not be done. These things will define their time in other better. I believe your article offers the The article ends on a sinister note. With underestimated. The people you elect repre- office. If you want to be at the forefront and possibility of the latter. I see elsewhere that a sense of deep foreboding, the author gives sent you and your fellow students on a whole influence what happens in your Union and you were nominated for a journalism award, his readership a warning. “Watch out for the host of issues. From the portering debate, to University, make sure you get involved in the and I now see why. Hull RAG week in June!” Rich Croker the direction of the library, from the shaping elections. And if you would rather let some- beware. Hull students do not forget easily, of colleges on Heslington East, to improve- one else do it make sure you affect who they Rev. Rory Dalgliesh and they always bear a grudge... ments in disabled access- the range of repre- are; you have a vote, make sure you use it! Methodist Chaplain to the University of York Vanbrugh Paradise Corner In defence of Christian sensibilities Dear Nouse, ed by a teacher assuming that a male pupil This week: student nemesis, A. Dalek, talks exclusively to Nouse I wish to respond to your article, would be seeking a girlfriend. A Christian So, yes. I want to set the record about Kafka. Somehow she interpreted my “Religious protest over gay rights” by defin- teacher in a Christian school telling pupils straight. I’ve no particular beef with hail-well-met-wench as a vicious threat of ing the concequences of passing the Sexual that the norm is, let alone should be, mar- students. It’s not easy being made entirely of ultimate physical harm. Maybe this isn’t the Orientation Regulations (SORs). riage between a man and a woman also falls metal. My prongs are spindly and brittle, and place for me. I’d like to travel. Or maybe In Northern Ireland, you can be prose- into this category. not at all adapted to the everyday domestic write a screenplay - I have some really cuted for 'harassment' towards a homosexual Homosexuals are legally protected from

“challenges of living in a quiet cul-de-sac in amazing ideas, but nobody wants to take person by allegedly 'violating their dignity'. being 'harassed'; where does the law prevent Acomb. Sometimes I get frustrated; all I real- me seriously. I’m trying to get out more, I’ve The Department for Education and Skills' Christian sensibilities from being abridged? ly want to do is have a meaningful conversa- joined CAMRA, but I don’t have a trachea,“ guidelines, 'Stand up for us. Challenging We endure discrimination daily yet most do tion with someone. and they ask questions about what exactly homophobia in schools", aims to fight "het- not seek laws against it. Some gay rights lob- I tried talking to a student yesterday, as I’m doing there if I can’t ingest liquids. erosexism"; "...the presumption that every- byists are enemies of freedom of speech. it happens. She went past while I was putting Mostly I just can’t see the point in it one is heterosexual” as “individuals...[and] out the recycling, so I waved at her, and tried all any more - I’m all spare parts. lifestyles are categorised [by] a heterosexual Thomas Cahill to engage her in some light conversation Maybe I’ll go and write for Vision. model.' Therefore a school could be prosecut- Langwith College 14 Politics Washington moves closer to its next target. Is Iran the next Iraq?

lates its military action in By Albi Furlan Iraq to the detriment of our troops and/or innocent Iraqi It is Iraq-redux”, com- people, we will respond mented Philip Giraldi of firmly”, he said. Colonel Sam the slow but constant Gardner, a former Air Force “build-up of US naval officer, commented, “Gates forces off the coast of Iran. said there is no planning for Currently, there is one air- war. We know this is not craft carrier and its true. He possibly meant entourage of a cruiser, two there is no plan for an imme- destroyers and a submarine, diate strike. All the moves and this is due to double in being made are consistent about 10 days time with the with what you would do if USS Stennis making its way you were going to do an air to the Gulf. The comment strike.” was sparked by the news that Iran’s President the US is in an advanced Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, stage of preparation to exe- since winning the presiden- cute an air-strike over Iran, tial election in 2005, has possibly as early as next denied the Holocaust, Spring, although in all prob- refused to accept the Israeli ability it will occur next year, state as legitimate and stated just before Bush’s presidency that he wanted to wipe it off expires and he is no longer in the map. Iran’s supreme a position to control the situ- leader Ayatollah Ali ation. Khamenei (the President’s Secretary of Defence religious, and possibly more Robert Gates has strongly powerful, counterpart) has denied claims that an offen- vowed to retaliate against sive is ever going to take the US, should it impinge on place. However, there is no the country’s interests. Thus, The slow, constant build-up of US naval forces in the Persian Gulf includes the supercarrier USS Eisenhower. denying the increased flow of it is fairly safe to assume that Patriot missiles towards the a nuclear-armed Iran would Iran from producing trick. blame Iran’s influence for the which is more likely to strike fleet currently stationed in pose a threat. However, ana- weapons of mass destruc- The Economist this difficulty in meeting these Iran, given its more direct the Gulf, nor the stock-piling lysts and technicians say that tion and with China, Russia, week commented on Bush’s goals, a strike on the country conflict with it, both via the of oil reserves in America. it is still a few years away America and Europe all failure to reach the goals he would seem an attempt at comments of its rulers and The President has defended from the actual production agreed on stopping the set himself during his first redeeming his presidency. through Hezbollah, the Shia these actions as necessary of a launchable nuclear war- country’s nuclear projects, term in office, and consider- According to other ana- army of Lebanon, effectively for counter-attack, should head. Negotiation and sanc- international pressure and ing how eager the Bush lysts, the US is amassing a proxy of Iran and directly Iran strike first. “If Iran esca- tions could suffice to deter diplomacy may just do the administration has been to forces to protect Israel, funded by it. Social engineering of universities

By Claire Yeo ing to increase the number of shocking, however, is that ly looking abroad to coun- students from poorer back- universities will have no way tries like the USA to satisfy t has recently been grounds, although evidence of proving whether this per- their higher education announced that univer- from the Higher Education sonal information is true, needs. American institu- sity applicants are to be Statistics Agency suggest rendering this whole exercise tions like Princeton have Iasked to indicate that the middle classes still pointless. Applicants are already seen an increase of whether their parents or dominate. It has been said therefore likely to alter infor- 6% in applications from guardians have had a uni- that “equal examination mation tactically . British students. versity education on the grades do not necessarily The most obvious barri- More worrying, howev- University and colleges’ represent equal potential”, er against equality and fair- er, is the prospect that by the admissions (Ucas) form. because factors such as social ness in university admissions end of the decade the cap on Applicants are soon to be background afffect pupils' is, of course, the trebling of tuition fees is due to be lift- asked to indicate not just the performance. the cost of university educa- ed and universities are occupation of the parent There is indeed a very tion this year. There has expected to increase top-up who brings home the great- valid concern for ensuring already been a 4.5% drop in and tuition fees dramatical- est income, but also whether consistency in the quality of applications across the ly to meet their high-fund- their parents themselves pre-university education board, with students from all ing demands. Given the cur- went through higher educa- across the board, as differ- backgrounds being deterred rent trend, it is likely that tion. ences between state and by the prospect of a high this will be accompanied by This comes as part of a independent schools may level of graduate debt. a general decrease in appli- government drive to see a affect the academic achieve- Some statistics even cations and in particular greater number of working Students may be recruited on background not merit ment of some students.. Yet suggest that there has been a applications from not only class students attend univer- to accept or reject students particular fall in applications low-income group students, sity. While this may be in the Such a clause will sure- Ucas spokesman has on this assumption is not from middle-class students but lower-middle class pursuit of the admirable ly only increase the wide- claimed the information is to only unjust to high-achiev- who failed to qualify for new pupils too. cause of giving a greater spread speculation that gov- be used only for “statistical ing middle class students, it grants because they are on The solution is perhaps number of poorer students ernment interference in the purposes” and not in the is also highly patronising to the cusp of the cut-off point, to leave the cap on what the choice of attending uni- admissions process is in fact allocation of places. those students accepted or because their parents’ could easily become a sky- versity, it may only serve to a device for social engineer- The Government has because of background income is more than rocketing level of tuition deter middle-class appli- ing and postcode lottery tac- already spent an estimated rather than merit. £30,000 per annum. fees and a plummeting level cants from applying. tics, despite the fact that a £350 million in campaign- What is even more Students are increasing- of students. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Snappy Snaps Tuesday 13 February 2007 15 Shattering the glass ceiling Anjli Raval looks at the Government’s drive to tackle continuing female under-representation . ver 100 employers said. ed with just over 26% have been included Women suffer as a result women. under the new gov- of a lack of flexbility in top Under the new exem- Oernment scheme to jobs, which is why just over plar programme, employers improve job opportunities one million women in the will be urging girls in school for women. More than 30 UK have become self to consider employment in years since the Sex employed, with an average of tiers traditionally dominated Discrimination Act came about 38% of UK small busi- by men. Employers in the into force, women are still ness stock either owned or public sector from next April not reaching the top of their co-owned by women. As will be obliged to conduct profession, despite signifi- women work their way up pay audits to ensure equal cant advances made in the the ladder, the flexibility of treatment for women. workplace. work decreases, therefore Disappointingly, minis- Companies including they are having to 'trade ters have declined to impose Asda, BP, HSBC, IBM, Royal down' in order to regain flex- such regulations on private Mail and Goldman Sachs are ibility. Unless women can sector companies, despite set to become “exemplar combine work and caring pressure from unions and employers", whereby they roles successfully, the likeli- lobby groups. However, 90% will put to the test projects hood is that they will not of the recommendations aimed at benefiting women. reach the top jobs. have been taken on board by They will cover a number of Currently, more than the Government. This areas, from mentoring 50% of women working includes the launch of a schemes in order to promote part-time are carrying out £10m two-year programme female executives to support- roles below their skill level looking to assist at least ing mothers returning from a and the pay gap still remains 10,000 women in finding career break. These ‘exem- at 38%. The country is essen- careers in employment sec- plar employers’ include tially missing out on a pool of tors where there are skills Government departments female talent which is inher- shortages or under-represen- such as the Cabinet Office, ently a "waste of capital and tion. Ministry of Defence and the a loss to the economy" with EOC statistics have fur- Department for Work and "progression being painfully ther shown that political par- Pensions, which have com- slow and at risk of going into ties would be more success- mitted to reduce the gender reverse", deems the Equal ful if they could address the pay gap. Opportunities Commission "daily private struggle of bal- Ruth Kelly, Minister for (EOC) in their ‘Sex and ancing work and private life" Women, has created a Power Index of 2007’. by selecting more women £500,000 fund to aid Flexibility should "be the candidates. The Labour employers in financing norm and not the exception" Party's all-women shortlist "troubleshooters"to advise and it should be open to both has enabled greater female on how to create a greater men and women to negotiate representation, but Britain number of part-time jobs for with employers. still has a way to go. On the women at senior levels. Kelly According to the EOC international scale of female believes that just because a index, women represent just representation, Britain has woman works fewer hours, 10% of directors at the FTSE been ranked 59th, compared this does not mean she 100 companies (0.4% from to Rwanda (1st), Afganistan should downgrade her sta- ethnic minorities) and 20% (27th) and Peru (22nd). Women are still under-represented in the upper echelons of the business world tus. “The best employers of Members of Parliament At the current rate it the judiciary and 200 years ties, with just 6% of white British women. Until understand the hard-headed (0.3% ethnic minorities). will take 20 years to achieve to achieve equal number of Pakistani and 9% of Black the major organisations can business reasons for extend- Britain's Civil Service top equality in Civil Service, 40 women in Parliament. The Caribbean workers ranking be held up as examples of ing quality, flexible and part- managial positions are still years to achieve an equal ‘glass ceiling’ is even lower as managers or senior offi- equal representation, women time roles for women," she significantly male-dominat- number of senior women in for women of ethnic minori- cials, compared to 11% of will continue to be excluded.

overwhelming case for expansion but, if it is consid- ered necessary by the The Campus Soapbox University, there are other more suitable sites in York. There are huge brownfield sites within walking distance By Peter Sanderson size of the existing campus. 30 years. It is no longer a of the railway station. These Prospective Green Party It will encompass an area of rural idyll – they accept that could provide a prestigious land bigger than the historic – but to double the campus campus near to the city cen- Candidate for Heslington walled city of York. It will size would lead to a feeling tre, within a stone’s throw of make the last remaining that the University is hem- the station and take the pres- Many students who come to farm in Heslington village ming them in on all sides. sure away from neighbour- York appreciate the commu- inoperable and it will put a The site for expansion is hoods around the existing nity feel that the campus considerable strain on local currently good quality farm- campus. It is understandable brings. Certainly I felt that, roads and housing. land and part of the green- The Green party opposes University expansion plans that the University wants to when I was at York, the small The Green Party has belt. Farmland is important more floor space on the new Myself and my col- keep its campuses together, size of the University con- always voiced opposition to – the UK already imports campus for commercial use leagues in the Green Party but it also has to be a good tributed to its success. this. My opposition to the much of its food and we can- than for academic depart- have been pressing these neighbour to the city. There’s something to be said expansion is in no way anti- not depend indefinitely on ments. The business model is concerns, but the expansion On May 3, you will have for a campus where you can student. Small is often beau- cheap food from abroad. not about university places plans were approved by the the opportunity to vote for walk easily from one end to tiful – a university which Self-sufficiency in food pro- for domestic students, but majority of the council. I sus- your city councillor. I believe the other and meet so many keeps itself to a manageable duction is vital. Because of about taking more interna- pect the government inquiry it is important that you are familiar faces on the way. size is a much better neigh- this, we need to have a very tional students and charging due to report soon will sup- aware of the importance of All this could be about bour for the city than one good reason to build on good them hefty tuition fees. The port expansion, as it fits in the issue of campus expan- to change. For years, the which sprawls. quality farmland. The new campus is much more with Labour targets. sion to Heslington residents, University has been planning Heslington residents University would presum- about a corporate land-grab So what’s the alterna- and that it is something you expansion. “Heslington East” have seen their village ably say education is a good than the noble goal of higher tive? The Green Party sug- will consider when you go to will more than double the change drastically in the last reason. However, there is education. gests that there is not an the ballot box. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 16 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007 TobyGreen Scraping the barrel: why is football cursed with insipid commentators?

e all have our favourite screens? You only need to look at bad commentary newspapers and the internet to find quote, an art mastered examples of football criticism that Wby the genius that is would put the current crop of TV David Coleman. A God among talent to shame. Perhaps it’s some- men, he furnished the bland and thing to do with the nature of TV: generic landscape of sports com- in his Guardian column David mentary with such gems as "here’s Pleat provides thought-provoking Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old and insightful comments on tactics, Kenyan, who turned 20 a few yet commentating on ITV he can’t weeks ago" even pronounce ‘Chimbonda’. There have been numerous There are some exceptions of pretenders to Davey’s throne since course: Alan Hansen is always an he retired at the turn of the milleni- interesting watch, if not slightly um (Motson’s clarification to black defence-orientated, and a lot of and white TV owners that “Spurs people have a soft spot for Andy are wearing the all-yellow strip” is Gray on Sky (not a view I share: all worth a mention), but ever since he he seems to do is shout and wob- hung up his microphone our TV ble). But when you pair them with screens have been a duller place, the likes of Lee Dixon or Carlton not least since every analyst that Palmer then any hopes of a decent approaches football on TV is irrev- discussion about the beautiful ocably insipid. game is dead. Critics of referees are The problem is that if football Alan Shearer has proved to be a lot less successful as a football pundit than as a football player always saying that ex-players would can be considered an art form, approaches to the thinkings of at the World Cup is even more of a job seems to be to jump around and be perfect for the job since they’ve where are our intelligent critics of some of the greatest minds ever sadist than Sven-Goran Eriksson laugh, whilst stating his thought played the game. Yet those that the game? Those that make their produced, and the other gets away and his insistence on taking Peter out opinion that “England will def- make the transfer from pitch to career on analyzing and discussing with pointing out that “football is Crouch as the only fully fit striker to initely win the World Cup this screen would surely have to dis- the greatest authors of the human all about the two ‘M’s – movement Germany. The only reason I can see time”. count this theory. Is it really too race can at best hope for a and positioning” for Ian Wright’s appointment is It’s not that there aren’t intelli- much to expect decent TV coverage Professorship at some university, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright that the Beeb bosses realized their gent analysts of the game, and of the country’s most popular yet a former footballer can get away are two examples. Whoever mistake at handing the Geordie that’s my point. When at least half game? with the most banal statements and thought of entrusting the ever- wonder-kid a 5 year contract and of the population have considered And you know what the most still land himself a big pay cheque charismatic Shearer with enter- hired the annoyingly-hyperactive and passionate thoughts about damning thing is? I haven’t even and a prime time TV gig. One is taining the nation in the 15 minute ‘Wrightey’ to combat the walking football, why are we lumped with mentioned John Barnes Football committed to formulating new break between self-inflicted torture personality-vacuum. Now his only such simple anaylsis on our TV Nights yet. How to overcome the fresher fitness slump

By Simon Lickley Tuesday at Toffs but this was Chris went the whole way SPORTS EDITOR something I could live with. and won the tournament, So, along with my housemate leaving me with nothing but As I am sure is true of most Chris, who had been respon- a drink owed to him. people at university, my first sible for most of the hang- What was best about the year was spent becoming overs mentioned above, I whole experience was the unfit. Sure, I studied, I went went along to see if it was fact that it gave an insight out, but the combination of any good. into a minority sport. frequent hangovers, my lack To be honest, I didn't Fencing is barely mentioned of culinary abilities and the really know what to expect; in the national sporting fact that, even as a Halifax my sole impression of the press. Even though I am now student, the longest I ever sport was from a scene in the familiar with some of the had to walk for a lecture James Bond film Die nuances of the sport I still was 10 minutes meant that Another Day. The first thing cannot think of a single well- my sporting abilities, never I did learn was that being a known fencer. Whilst this the best anyway, plummet- left hander, I would annoy article is not intended to be a ed to an all time low. Sport absolutely everyone I fenced Fencing has proven to be not only a good fitness regime but extremely enjoyable blanket advocation of the at university was something against. So that was a good Athletics Union, the AU does that I saw on 22 Acre Field start. It also made it more honed, it began to be really that characterised the first fident about my chances. provide a great opportunity as I trudged along the path difficult to practise the good fun. There is nothing few weeks). After all, I had won two out to try out sports that usually from Halifax to campus. moves taught as my brain like trying to hit someone The end of term provid- of my first four matches in fall under the sporting radar. So to second year and a had to reinterpret the move with a sword to bring out the ed an opportunity to bring the heats and I had contin- It also became a great way to new start. My sporting out- for a left hander. On the plus medieval knight in you. As out the competitive side in ued to use my trump card, get fit. It may not look it to ings had been restricted to a side, it did confuse all of my manouvres were taught and all of us with the beginners’ being left handed, to very the untrained eye, but two few games of rugby at opponents, which was cer- gradually understood, bouts tournament. It was with good effect. hours of fencing is an school, so I was looking to tainly an advantage. began to look more profes- some relief that I made it Sadly, it didn't last and I absolutely knackering work- start something new. That said, once the vari- sional (rather than just the past the first round and I was was soon knocked out. This out, but at the same time Fencing meant missing ous moves were learned and free-for-all sword-swinging beginning to feel rather con- was while my housemate pretty good fun. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps Sport 17 Hockey men remain unbeaten

York Men’s 1sts 2 league, and relinquish their title hopes. Newcastle Men’s 2nds 5 unbeaten run had already been eas- But any sniff they might have ily dispelled. had of getting something from the By Simon Lickley Newcastle's explanation for game was soon to be wiped out as SPORTS EDITOR their disastrous start appeared to York began to regain the poise that be that they were too ambitious in they had shown at the beginning of their somewhat attacking forma- the game and which had served HAVING SWEPT everything tion and it left the defence with lit- them so well in the season thus far. standing in front of them all season tle protection with the numerous York soon got back into the game in their BUSA league, the York York onslaughts that came their and added another goal to make it Men’s 1st XI hockey team went into way. 5-2, which was how it stayed. this game knowing that victory However towards the end of Despite York's passing and would see them become champions the first half, Newcastle finally general play getting a little sloppy of the BUSA Northern Conference began to wake up and look a bit towards the end, the lead was never Men's 3B. Having been unbeaten in more lively. They began to put in doubt and they held on for a their nine games thus far this sea- heavy pressure on the York defence thoroughly deserved victory to cap son, York came into the game justi- with a string of short corners, and off what will go down as an fiably high on confidence and for the last ten minutes were the absolutely magnificent season. bursting with plenty of spirit. better side. Winning six of their ten games, and On a bright but freezing cold For the most part York defend- drawing the other four, says it all. It day, York showed everyone watch- ed fairly impressively but eventual- may have been freezing for the ing just why they have done so well ly the heavy pressure paid off and spectators but all those there went this season. They were unquestion- Newcastle grabbed a goal just home knowing they had witnessed ably the fastest team out of the before the break. Despite the posi- something special. Sweeter still was blocks, and despite some strong tive end to the half for Newcastle, the fact that they had pipped their Newcastle defending, were clearly a the evidence of the first half sug- bitter cross city rivals York St John class apart. gested that it would be an extreme- for the title. Hopefully this can give It came as no surprise when ly tall order for them to end York’s York University an important psy- they opened the scoring on eight unbeaten BUSA campaign and ruin chological edge in their Varsity tie minutes, and continual pressure their day. this week. Judging by this perform- saw them storm even further in Yet at the beginning of the ance however, pure skill could front on 12 minutes to make it 2-0. second half saw them make some prove to be more than enough. After just 15 minutes of classy tentative steps towards doing just hockey they were 3-0 in front. that. They picked up where they left Team Lineup:Will Gibaud,Dan Newcastle had barely got out of off at the end of the first half and it Westley (c), Andy Hook, Josh Beale, their own half, and it seemed that was no surprise when they got Sam Palmer, Billy Walsh, Ali Morgan, in the sporting sense at least, York another goal to make it 4-2. Alex Topsfield (sub Rich de Bolz),Ollie were about to inflict a massacre on Suddenly it was the Newcastle Dupenois, Ollie Hughes their hapless opponents. On twen- team who had the edge in the game ty-five minutes a well coverted and for the first time that afternoon Player of the Match: penalty meant that it was 4-0 and there was the possibility that Ali Morgan already it seemed that any doubt Newcastle may get something out An inspirational performance to Ali Morgan put in an excellent performance to inspire York to a that York would fail to win the of the game and jeopardise York’s inspire York to an easy victory strong 5-2 victory over Newcastle. Men’s Photo: Georgi Mabee York Netball 1sts superb show gives hope for 2007 Varsity tournament ceptions and a comprehensive point. York 1sts 50 reading of the game allowed an The third quarter opened 23-5 Teeside 2nds 12 excellent pass from centre to goal and proved to be a showcasing of shooter, which Mary Hunt convert- York’s close marking especially a By Helen Lock ed to open the score sheet. Player- great interception by wing defence SPORTS CORRESPONDENT to-player pressure from York forced Katie Brunskill. York’s goals contin- Teeside to make mistakes on and ued to fly in whilst the Teeside net WITH THE Varsity tournament off the ball and their shooting stayed empty. This must have fast approaching, this week’s BUSA proved to be below par. Great util- aggravated the visitors as they matches provided a vital opportu- ity of space on court allowed Hunt attempted to play under protest, nity for all three of the University’s to increase York’s lead at a steady after contesting both umpires. three netball squads to secure not rate and her partnership with With the final score coming in at only league points but more impor- Sarah Pycroft worked well against 50-12 it is clear that York were in tantly confidence. the Teeside defence, allowing the ascendancy, contested umpires Having witnessed the York numerous opportunities to be cre- or not. Such a convincing score University second team beat their ated. means that the netball team go into York St John counterparts with Teeside were down 12 goals to this week’s Varsity tournament only a narrow margin; the Firsts 1 as the second quarter opened and brimming with confidence. needed to capitalise on their game the visitors started with off par mis- against Teeside Seconds. First takes. York’s superior athleticism Team Lineup: team captain Amy Smith’s rousing and team communication meant GS: Mary Hunt, GA: Sarah Pycroft & pre-match talk summed up the that space was continuously creat- Chaz Blythe, WA: Clare Shaw & Laura feeling within the club by saying ed and opportunities seized. Longworth, C: Amy Smith, WD Katie “we’re ready for this.” This match Both York’s defence and attack Brunskill, GD: Hannah Martin & Katie would surely serve as a warm up showed commitment and focus, Cowper-Johnson, GK:Tess Smith before next week’s grudge match. and even though Teeside’s keeper The first quarter was charac- let her frustration get the better of Player of the Match: terised by tight-marking and cohe- her, Hunt did not allow it to affect Laura Longworth. The York University Netball 1sts warmed up for the upcoming sive ball movement across the full her concentration in ensuring that Passed the ball well and dictated the Varsity tournament with a convincing victory over Teeside 2nds breadth of the court. Several inter- they took the lead to 17-3 by this flowof play throughout the game Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 18 Sports Snappy Snaps Tuesday February 13 2007 York thrash Leeds to top the table

York Men’s 1sts 5 Leeds Men’s 2nds 0 deeper. York, on the other hand, adopted a more defen- By Simon Lickley sive style and did not suffer SPORTS EDITOR any real threat, despite Leeds having the majority of pos- A MARVELLOUS first-half session. display by the University of The only noticeable York ensured a comfortable moment was Singh’s fantas- victory against Leeds, one of tic surge from the halfway the highest-rated teams in line to Leeds' area, only for the BUSA league. The result his shot to be blocked by the also meant that they topped keeper. "I am absolutely the league at the end of an delighted," said captain excellent season. The out- Daniel Brown. "Two very come of the result was never quick goals killed the game in doubt, in a match where early in the first half. We kept York repeatedly pressurised the ball well and the under- their opponents from the standing within the team start; they produced a was excellent. We made a superb attacking display, very good team like Leeds aided both by Leeds' lack of look very average.” organised defence and fail- The captain also paid ure to create any sort of tribute to goalkeeper Sean attacking threat. Henderson, who kept a clean The game had only been sheet. He added that that he underway for two minutes was pleased with the disci- when good work from the pline of all his team-mates, York midfielders culminated whom he labelled "unsung in a perfect pass on the left heroes". for Daniel Brown. Unchallenged by any of the Leeds defenders, he scored A brilliant all-round performance saw York Men’s 1sts confidently top the table. Photo by Georgi Mabee with a cool right-footed fin- ish in the bottom corner. A sion and aggression epito- resulted in an unintended chance fall to Pardeep Singh was headed into the top-left minute later, following more mised by Henry Smith, who cross for Henry Smith, who on the left side of the penalty corner by John Searle to combative displays from the was never shy of putting in a was harshly tackled immedi- area - only for him to nar- make it a well-deserved 4-0. York midfield, the ball went tackle when necessary. York's ately after by a Leeds mid- rowly miss the goal. Minutes Leeds were then further to Dominic O'Shea who pro- constant pressure saw them fielder and resulted in a later, Ian McKellen's free- humiliated when York made duced a great assist on the awarded with a free kick on three-minute delay. kick saw the ball fire into the it 5-0 just before half-time, left to Henry Smith. Smith’s the right, resulting in a Leeds failed to mount top corner to make the score courtesy of a free-kick from sublime technique ensured penalty box skirmish and the any serious challenge to the 3-0. outside the area from which he found the space to put the ball falling to Brown’s feet; York defence, mainly thanks Leeds' frustration was Singh completed the rout. ball past the hapless Leeds he narrowly missed the goal to quick and effective defen- epitomised by their strikers, The second half saw a goalkeeper and gift York from 10 yards. sive work from Henry Smith whose unrewarded speed dejected away side desper- with a dream start. Leeds' only attempt in and Shaun Evans. The Leeds and alertness were spoilt by ately trying to cut the deficit Player of the Match: The next few minutes the first ten minutes was well defender’s poor positioning persistent abuse of the refer- by adopting a more attack- Sean Henderson saw York looking to extend dealt with by Simon and his failure to clear the ee. In the 38th minute, a minded system, with the Kept a clean sheet and pulled their lead further with pas- Oatridge - his clearance ball effectively saw a great swinging corner from the left midfield and strikers pushed off several impressive saves Exciting finale sees 2nds snatch win

York Men’s 2nds 3 again before half-time. match seemed to turn when York dug deep once again Northumbria Men’s 3rds 2 Holding striker John Evans Mike Flood clashed with the and responded. This time, narrowly failed to latch onto goalkeeper, striving to meet a Kit Edwards latched onto a By Mike Flood a well-weighted cross from ball that should have been stray ball to score a heroic SPORTS CORRESPONDENT Mike Flood, who quickly left. Both players were car- winner, grabbing York a found himself weighing up a ried off and left to watch baf- well-received victory and no A CHAOTIC last fifteen long range effort which fling performances both on small amount of relief. It was minutes - which saw both should have been passed to a and off the pitch. certainly a nerve-jangling teams score twice - ended well-positioned Graeme Northumbria then ride for everyone involved, this racy relegation standoff Wiggins. somehow managed to scram- but for York, the final result and ensured York men’s foot- Kicking into the wind ble an equaliser, but John gave cause for jubilation. ball 2nd XI place in BUSA has been a problem for Evans responded immedi- league 5B for next season. Worrall’s men of late. ately with a sublime half vol- Opponents Northumbria Opponents have been quick ley just inside the area. Kept 3rds needed nothing less to realise that weak goal- low and fast, it gave the goal- than a win, and their dogged kicks are met with less keeper absolutely no chance determination throughout vigour, which often leave whatsoever. It all happened the game meant York would York unable to retain periods very quickly, and then the never feel comfortable. of possession. ambulance pulled up to res- York, donning bibs due By the second half, the cue the injured players. to a colour clash, took the pitch had thawed into a Except that it turned up onto lead after ten minutes when muddy mess and surely con- the pitch. Then it got stuck, captain Mark Worrall York grabbed a dramatic victory. Photo Georgi Mabee tributed to the ensuing may- again and again, ripping up smashed in his fourth goal of parry onto the crossbar. The more to trouble their oppo- hem. Tempers were aggra- the pitch, before finally being the campaign. Tom Wilson’s ball spilt to Wilson in wait- nents in what should proba- vated by an incompetent ref- pushed in several circles free kick from the corner of ing, whose calmness in front bly have been an easier eree who blew on demand, towards safety. the penalty area was a lofty of goal put the fluorescent match. Chances followed and a handful of This somewhat bizarre Player of the Match: inswinging goal attempt yellows deservedly in the chances, but uncertainty in Northumbria players who and unprecedented distrac- Martin Brown which the goalkeeper, blind- lead. the final third meant that the had no qualms in claiming tion made time for another A tireless defensive perform- ed by the sun, could only York could have done goalkeeper was not troubled all that was not theirs. The Northumbrian equaliser, but ance in wintery conditions NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by Tuesday February 13 2007 Snappy Snaps Sports 19

AU Promotion chances damaged Edge

York 2nd XV 8 Sheffield forward pack maintained possession for a Sheffield 3rd XV 22 With AU President prolonged period until their Tom Moore By Sam Dudley number 8 eventually scored SPORTS CORRESPONDENT despite protestations that FOR SUCH a small institu- the ball was being held up tion, York usually does rela- THE MEN’S Rugby 2nds on the line. tively well in the BUSA tables Team’s push for promotion This was a major impe- and this year is no exception. took a hit on Wednesday as tus for York as, for the next Last Wednesday saw the end of they went down 8-22 in a fifteen minutes, they domi- the season and I’d just like to plucky display at home to nated and pulled themselves say well done to the mens first- Sheffield University 3rds. back to within two points. teams in the tennis, bad- Before the game York Nick Mason’s score within minton, fencing and hockey. found themselves sitting three minutes of the second This list is could also fourth in the table after hav- Sheffield try lifted spirits as include mens volleyball 1sts ing only played three match- York managed to slice open and mens football 1sts if math- es in the BUSA League due the opposition’s defence for ematics and the weather are on to a host of frustrating can- the first time in the match. our side. cellations and postpone- York were back in the game All these teams have ments, knowing that a win and expectation were high reached the knockout stages of against Sheffield would have from the supporters and the BUSA tournaments, with lifted them right into pro- from the team. the hockey and tennis teams motion contention. However they were coming top of their respective The conditions on soon brought back to earth leagues. Wednesday were perfect for as a momentary lapse in Tomorrow sees the Varsity the free-flowing open rugby concentration from York in competition hit our campus for that York’s team have been the crucial period before the third year. Varsity sees us attempting to play this sea- half time ensured that take on our local rivals York St. son, and hopes were high Sheffield would go into the John in almost 30 fixtures and thanks to the full-strength break with a seven point cumulates in an award presen- line up. advantage. A rolling maul tation in Toffs. However, things did from the Sheffield forwards For an up to date not start brightly as pushed York back deep into timetable of the Varsity fix- Sheffield were the first to their 22 and quick rucking tures, please see our website at race out of the blocks and led to the visitors’ prop scor- www.yusu.org/au. Highlights flew into a 0-10 lead after ing to make it 8-15. have got to include the football just 20 minutes. After the break, both fixtures, with both the mens York’s first try was sides sought the crucial first and womens fixtures taking scored following a brilliantly score in the second half. place from 1.00pm on the 22 executed move. It was fin- York’s defence prevented acres. The netball fixtures also ished off in the right corner long periods of possession Despite some excellent defending York 2nds lost out. Photo Georgi Mabee start at 1:00 in the tent and thanks to the full back territorial advantage turn- but York were unable to the defeat, saying “We Team Lineup: Alex hockey will be going on all offloading well out of a last ing into Sheffield points but break through the resolute played well considering the Tominey, Mike Hornby, afternoon on the Astroturf. ditch tackle by York winger eventually the winning try Sheffield defence, which amount of games we have Satnam Surae,Toby Varsity comes into its third Sebastian Hurst. came. The visiting forwards withstood the sustained played together”. Roberts, James year with its stature continu- York continued to rumbled the maul under the pressure. This meant that Smallwood, Mike Callis, ing to grow. Certain people defend well but the pressure posts after a series of patient the final score ended up as Player of the Match: Chris Carrington, Hugh may try and demean the event; told as Sheffield scored their tight phases to make the an 8-22 defeat. Seb Hurst. Wigzell, Sam Dudley,Tim rightly, perhaps, arguing that it second try following sus- score 8-22. Chris Carrington, the Excellent tackling through- Maitland, Nick Mason, sits in the shadow of Roses, but tained close quarter forward The last ten minutes captain, was proud of his out the game meant York Alex Neoh, Keeley Taylor, the fact remains that it brings a work. The well drilled saw the home side fight back team’s performance despite were always in the hunt. Seb Hurst, Sam Taylor day full of fixtures that our teams take tremendously seri- ously. It is an important and large event in its own right. It is only because Roses is such a Latest College/University Sport Results/Standings: huge event (the largest in the country) that Varsity seems small. It is in fact comparable BUSA Results: BUSA Standings: Varsity Fixtures - Feb 14: to a large number of other var- sity competitions around the Badminton: Football Men’s1sts - Division 3B: Badminton: Venue Time north. I hope to see you all York Men’s 1sts vs Newcastle Men’s 2nds 8-0 pld pts Men’s 1sts Main Hall 12-2 down around the sports facili- York St John Men’s 1sts vs York Men’s 1sts 4-4 1. Leeds Met 2nds 10 26 Women’s 1sts Main Hall 12-2 ties on Wednesday, and I cer- 2. Leeds Met 3rds 10 24 tainly hope to see you in Toffs – Basketball: Basketball: York Men’s 1sts vs Leeds Met Men’s 1sts 60-87 3. Trinity & All Saints 1sts 10 19 the ceremony starts at 8pm Men’s 1sts Tent 3.30-5 4. Durham 2nds 10 0 and will easily be finished by Football: 5. York 1sts 10 4 Women’s 1sts Tent 2-3.30 10pm. Other things that might York St John Men’s 2nds vs York Men’s 1sts 3-2 6. Huddersfield 1sts 10 4 Indoor Cricket: York Men’s 2nds vs Northumbria Men’s 3rds 3-2 take your interest… The Hockey Men’s 1sts- Division 3B: Men’s 1sts Main Hall 2-3.30 (see match report p.18) Patches O’Houlihan trophy pld pts Hockey: will once again be up for grabs Hockey: 3. Durham 3rds 9 18 Men’s 1sts JLD Astroturf 12-1.30 as the AU dodgeball competi- 4. Huddersfield 1sts 8 15 tion returns in week 9. To enter York Men’s 1sts vs Newcastle Men’s 2nds 5-2 Women’s 1sts JLD Astroturf 3-4.30 5. York 1sts 8 9 a team come to the AU office to York Women’s 1sts vs Newcastle Women’s 2nds 2-2 Men’s 2nds JLD Astroturf 1.30-3 6. Teeside 1sts 9 9 sign up. The karting club is Netball: 7. York St John 1sts 9 6 Football: also organising a charity race York 1sts vs Teeside 2nds 50-12 8. Sunderland 1sts 9 0 Men’s 1sts 22 Acres 1-2.30 in week 9. Entry is just £20 York 2nds vs York St John 2nds 34-33 Women’s 1sts 22 Acres 2.30-4 per person. More information can be found on the website. York St John 5ths vs York 3rds 9-46 Netball 3rds- Division 5B Men’s 2nds 22 Acres 2.30-4 pld pts Good luck to all the teams Women’s 2nds 22 Acres 1-2.30 Rugby Union: 1. Sheffield Hallam 3rds 6 18 competing tomorrow. 8-22 Netball: York Men’s 2ndsvs Sheffield Men’s 3rds 2. York 3rds 6 18 For the latest Varsity York Men’s 1sts vs York St John1sts 47-5 3. Trinity & All Saints 2nds 6 12 Women’s 1sts Tent 4-5.30 results and reports visit: (Varsity match) 4. Hull 3rds 6 12 Women’s 2nds Tent 2.30-4 www.nouse.co.uk 20 University sport: full in-depth match reports and analysis SPORT Pages 41-44 York begin defence of Varsity title with comfortable victory

York Men’s 1sts 47 then converted to make it The University of St John Men’s 1sts 5 14-0. York clearly noted this, and There was barely time despite having the upper By Simon Lickley to digest that scoreline hand, began to lack defen- SPORTS EDITOR before The University of sive energy for the last York pushed even further twenty minutes. In a game YORK’S RUGBY Union ahead. more evenly matched this team made a fantastic start Lionel Owusu had put may have seen the wide to the University's Varsity pressure on the St. John gap in scores narrow defence against York St. backs all afternoon and it slightly but this was never John with a decisive victo- was no surprise when he going to be the case. ry over their city rivals in scored after 31 minutes and Every St. John attack their rescheduled game. again just before half time. was still easily repelled by The game was played With both tries converted, the University of York earlier than the rest of the The University of York defence. York only needed tournament owing to fix- entered the second half 28- to put a small amount of ture congestion, but on the 0 in front, and utterly dom- pressure on towards the plus side this crushing vic- inant. end to widen the gap even tory lays down a marker for The York team started further. A converted try in the rest of the University the second half in a similar the last few minutes of the sport clubs to follow when fashion to the first by piling match saw the final score Varsity takes place this more pressure on a hapless reach 47-5. week. St. John side. It came as no The University of York The University of York surprise when Alex Corp players were jubilant as the made an encouraging start. bundled over after 47 min- final whistle blew - rightly It was clear from the utes to make it 33-0. so after an utterly domi- beginning who the better After this, St. John nant performance. A well- team were. Paul Goodall began to counter-attack. earned victory. opened the scoring nine For a while it was them put- If any members of the minutes in, with his try ting the University of York University’s other sports easily being converted. under pressure, as they clubs taking part in Varsity The York team then seeked to save themselves this week saw the game, began to impose their from further embarrass- they will no doubt draw dominance. The St. John ment. However, York’s lead inspiration from the defence were unable to was by this time unassail- courage and talent on dis- cope with the penetrating able. play here. runs made by the York St. John found them- University's backs and selves unable to penetrate Team Lineup: their cause was not helped the resolute York defence, 1. Chris McKain, 2. Alex Corp, by desperately poor kick- who on the whole held firm. 3. Jason Gabb, 4. Joe Peach, ing in their attempt to Eventually they did manage 5. Jon KumeDavy, 6. Paul repel York. to score a try to make it 33- Goodall, 7. Jack Wakeling, 8. However, the 5 but were still left with a Hugh Wigzell,9.Chris Fox (c), University of York failed to mountain to climb. 10. Rob Milnes, 11. Lionel convert their attacks into Indeed it took just two Owusu, 12. Tom Benbow, 13. trys; they frequently came minutes after conceding Danny Stacey, 14. Alex close, but failed to break their first points of the Thornton, 15. James Wilson through. It was not until game that the York team hit the twenty-sixth minute back with another convert- Player of the Match: that York finally registered ed try. This meant that with Chris Fox their next score as James twenty minutes to go it was The captain put in a master- Wilson touched down to 40-5 and very much game ful performance to see York make it 12-0 which was over. to their first victory in Varsity The Varsity tournament gets off to a promising start for York. Photo: Georgi Mabee

York Netball 1sts Hockey team finish BUSA success leaves Football teams enjoy demolish Teeside season unbeaten York in high spirits continued success In a massively one-sided affair, The Men’s Hockey 1st XI finish Excellent performances by the The York Men’s 1sts cruised to a York Netball 1sts beat Teeside their BUSA season unbeaten with Men’s badminton, fencing, hockey brilliant victory over Leeds 2nds 52-12 for an impressive a fine victory over Newcastle 2nd and tennis teams in the BUSA Metropolitan University, whilst the victory. The win proves even more XI, despite the freezing condi- divisions see them all competing Men’s 2nds stave off relegation after valuable as a warm up for the tions. The result means that they in the final knockout stages this grabbing a narrow victory over Varsity fixtures, and the side is finish top of the BUSA Northern year. Tom Moore, AU President, Northumbria Men’s 3rds at 22 reaching a peak in form. Conference 3B. reflects on the build up to Varsity. Acres.

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