Northern Michigan University NMU Commons All NMU Master's Theses Student Works 4-2014 This Is the Dream-Freeze Timothy B. Johnston [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.nmu.edu/theses Part of the Arts and Humanities Commons Recommended Citation Johnston, Timothy B., "This Is the Dream-Freeze" (2014). All NMU Master's Theses. 6. https://commons.nmu.edu/theses/6 This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Works at NMU Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in All NMU Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of NMU Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected],[email protected]. THIS IS THE DREAM-FREEZE By Timothy Brent Johnston THESIS Submitted to Northern Michigan University In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS—Fiction Graduate Studies Office April, 2014 SIGNATURE APPROVAL FORM Title of Thesis: This Is The Dream-Freeze This thesis by Timothy Brent Johnston is recommended for approval by the student’s thesis committee in the Department of English and by the Dean of Graduate Studies. Committee Chair: Matthew Gavin Frank Date First Reader: Dr. Lesley Larkin Date Second Reader: Dan Gocella Date Department Head: Dr. Ray Ventre Date Dr. Brian D. Cherry Date Assistant Provost of Graduate Education and Research ABSTRACT This Is the Dream-Freeze By Timothy Brent Johnston This Is The Dream-Freeze is a collection of short stories that are all interconnected through theme (escape) and content (there’s an asteroid coming). I find that it’s an odd thing to obsess on (the end of times), especially when everybody’s desire is to escape from their current predicament—whatever it may be—because, essentially, the last and final escape in the collection is death by asteroid. In this collection, I indirectly ask the question “What does it mean to be human?” I try to answer the question by representing a consistent animal population, whether it be mammals, birds, or insects. Depending on your interpretation of the beginning of the world (whether it be God sayith so, The Big Bang, or alternative theories), I infer that maybe humans no longer see themselves as animals and only see themselves as a people—something a step above any other species. This way, I hope to show that when people want to escape, that they not only try to escape their surroundings, but their rite as human. i Copyright by Timothy Brent Johnston 2014 ii DEDICATION For Ma and Dad. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I’d like to thank Matthew Gavin Frank for being a weird, little man with the enthusiasm of a dog who knows he can’t piddle in the house. You’ve turned my writing around, and though you won’t take any more credit than you already have, you’ve got your thumbprints all over this collection. I was an okay writer when we first started this, now, because of you, I feel comfortable saying that I was an okay writer when we first started this. I’d also like to thank my readers, Dr. Lesley Larkin and Dan Gocella (especially for Dan, because, for some reason, he took on this project without qualifying for the monetary incentive) I’m grateful to both for their time and attention and insight. I’m also grateful that I was able to work with two of the most intimidating people in our department and got out of the project unscathed. Thanks to my friends and coworkers here at NMU—in and outside of the English department. You’ve kept me entertained. There are too many to mention, so I won’t bother. Thanks to Jennifer A. Howard. You’re a hell of a boss and human being, and I couldn’t have made it this long without you (this includes Katie Hanson and Ray Ventre). To the men and women at The Pines Golf Course at Lake Isabella, MI, including Jack Kukuk, who was the inspiration for one of my favorite and personal stories in the collection. Thanks to Miranda Badour. You work harder than any three people in the world, and I only finished this project because you’ve kept me motivated. Thanks to my immediate family—this includes my mother, father, both brothers, their iv wives, and their daughters. You guys are weird. So am I, but just know I blame you for it. Thanks, also, and finally (and most importantly) to Google. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...………1 The Predetermined End of Asteroid-2013 MA85.……………………………………………….……………………11 Glowing Yellow, Looking Tan…………………………………………………………………………………………….……..13 Coprophagia……………………………………………….……………………………………………………………………………69 Falling Up…………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………..85 Little Harder, Little Quicker ……………………………………………….………………………………………………….108 Speak to Me…………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………….121 Somebody Get Me a Horse to Sit on so That I May Speak ……………………………………………………..125 5 : 15…………………………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………….142 Second Coming ……………………………………………….…………………………………………………………………….159 A Rock Named Pavlov…………………………………………………………………………………………….………………186 vi Introduction This is the part of the introduction to my thesis where I write the introduction to the introduction to my thesis: I always like to start everything with a joke. But, I just began with a statement, so there is no way I can start this introduction with a joke. Unless, of course, we consider the subject line to be the joke. Or, of course, we consider the joke to be that I didn’t start with the joke, therefore, making the statement the joke. I’ve fucked up already. Ah-ha-ha-haha. This is the part of the introduction to my thesis where I write the introduction to my thesis: I took a literary theory course about five years ago from now (if you’re wondering, it’s March, 27 th , 2014. It’s a Thursday. I like the contraction of it’s here, because as I write, it’s present tense: it is a Thursday. When you’re reading this, it’ll be past tense: it was a Thursday. Think this is an unnecessary comment? We’re only, like, 130 words into the introduction. It will get worse from here). What I took out of this theory course is the term dissatisfaction. I took other terms from the course, too, but this was the first semester of my first year in the MA program—a long time ago—and I’ve forgotten most of them. I was nervous then, I was underdeveloped, and I was drinking a lot—But Light, if it matters. All of this was because of theory. But thank God for dissatisfaction, because this is exactly what this thesis is about. Not the word, directly. The 1 word we should focus on in the next 180-odd pages is escape . Escape because of dissatisfaction. One of the course books I bought was McGowan’s The End of Dissatisfaction? I remember becoming very intrigued by that question mark on the text. The book—I assumed— wouldn’t discuss a statement, but a question. A question that makes the reader think, is this really the end of dissatisfaction? I don’t remember most the text. I remember words like apathy , and transcendence, and cynicism , and this weird obsession with “freedom of enjoyment.” But that’s it. I’m sure I read it, and I’m sure I got bored, and frustrated, and irate, and murderous and everything else that comes free-of-charge with theory texts, gave up and peaked at the end, hoping the answer would be on the last page. I sure I hoped McGowan would wrap it up nicely with a conclusion like a sixth-grade do-you-like-me note: Is this really the end of dissatisfaction? [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ] Just as a friend Clearly I wasn’t satisfied, because here I am five years later in a damn doughnut shop, with no memory of this ever happening. I am either not satisfied or still not satisfied. There you go, McGowan. Just answered your damn question. Enjoy my thirty bucks, you bastard. This is the part of the introduction to my thesis where I write about escape until we’re both bored and need to escape: I agree. This is a tacky way to write. But how to you get to Carnegie Hall? 2 Type this into a search engine: https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Huron+Mountain+Bakery,+1301+S+Front+St,+Marquette,+ MI+49855/Carnegie+Hall,+881+7th+Ave,+New+York,+NY+10019 Ah-ha-ha-haha. (For future reference, every time I write “Ah-ha-ha-haha” I want you to imagine me exasperated, on the end of my rope, head in hands, fingers mussing up my hair. In your mind, I should look sleep depraved. That way, it’s authentic.) To get back on track: escape is essentially the word I wanted to express throughout the entire thesis. “The Predetermined End…” is about a planet destroyed by an asteroid and is hurtled away from its original orbit, so, essentially, the escape of a planetoid. “Falling Up,” is about a teenage boy who wants to leave town, “Coprophagia,” is about a wife who confronts her husband’s lover and tries to decide if she should leave him, “Glowing Yellow, Looking Tan,” is about a teenage boy who wants to leave town (…ahem), “Little Harder, Little Quicker,” is about a teenage couple is confronted with an unwanted pregnancy and consider fantastical ways to free themselves of their responsibilities, “Speak to Me,” is about a Swedish man who must come to terms that the world will end, “Somebody Get Me a Horse…,” is about a man who wants to…leave town, “5 : 15” is about a man remembering a friend of his who had…left town, “Second Coming,” is about the escape from immaturity, who also left town, and finally, “A Rock Named Pavlov,” is about the asteroid from the first story has finally come to Earth, and we need to learn how to escape our fears and accept that we cannot escape death.