February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Why Chocolate? The Revival Years
Welcome to another spiffing edition of conservative thirty-five issues. Well we Why Chocolate? The Revival Years. As sold ourselves short, the thirty-five you may or may not be aware the first copies were gone within hours of the bar edition was a rip-roaring success, selling opening. out within hours of hitting the shelf and So, what intellectual delights do we have putting serious strain on the Big K for you this issue? I can tell you that you printing press. Due to this success we won’t be disappointed. Keith, sorry I mean have also decided to offer a digital Mo, gives another outstanding review edition via Amazon Kindle, just search from ‘The Moving Picture Box’, Dr. P Iles Why Chocolate? in the Kindle store, this is back with more health and fitness talk, will be released the same weekend as the we have a brilliant look alike for you in print edition is available from the bar. You ‘Pipe and Slippers’ and our Director of will be able to get all back issues through Rugby tells his story of ‘The Hungry the Kindle store at a discounted price, Goose’. they may even be free if we are feeling So without further ado I present to you generous. the second issue of Why Chocolate? The As you can appreciate writing and editing Revival Years. a magazine article for monthly release is a tough job on top of people’s normal jobs and lives, let alone a whole magazine. So here’s how it’s going to work. To keep the mob from the door, and because we love it, WC? will continue to be a monthly publication, it will however be a slimmer Happy reading, The Editor version of the bumper first edition. We will release a bumper quarterly edition on par with the first release and if you’re lucky you may even get an Annual, to rival the Beano, just in time for Christmas. The journey so far for Why Chocolate? has been a fun and rather remarkable one. The concept of revival was discussed at a committee meeting in November, within weeks a team had been assembled and by the beginning of December the first articles started to appear in my inbox.
Needless to say most of my Christmas was spent editing and compiling. So January comes along and we are ready to print. We decided not to get too carried away with our passion and printed a
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Kontents
Page 3: Club Captains Colouring Page 23: Moving Picture Box Competition Mike Oakley reviews what he has been As one of our club captains favourite past watching on the ‘Moving picture Box’ this times he would like to share with you the joys month… of colouring in… Page 24: Events Page 4: Senior Player Profile Save the dates for all the upcoming events at Each issue we bring you an exclusive profile the social hub that is the Big K and interview with one of our senior players… Page 25: Editors Farewell Page 7: Mint Berry Krunch A farewell from the editor… Our resident personal trainer Dr. P.Iles gives his latest advice on dietary tips and extreme work outs…
Page 8: The Directors Cut A word from the Big K Director of Rugby…
Page 10: Did You Know An insight into the extra-terrestrial by Professor Brian Coccyx…
Page 12: Junior Player Profile
Each issue we bring you an exclusive profile and interview with one of our junior players…
Page 13: Senior Match Reports
A review of the latest senior games…
Page 14: The Lost Boy’s We take time to stop and look back over the ones we’ve loved and lost…
Page 16: Junior Match Reports A review of the latest junior games…
Page 18: The Tale of the Hungry Goose Director of Rugby, Paul Meaden, talks about player recruitment and attrition…
Page 21: Pipe and Slippers A chance for you to have your say on any topic of your choice…
Email the editor: [email protected] 2 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Club Captains Colouring Competition
In this section our club captain shares his favourite colouring pictures. These have been left blank so that you can colour them in and enjoy the fun with him. Once you have coloured in your picture send a copy to [email protected] and the lucky winner will have their picture displayed in the next issue, please include your name, age and where you’re from. This month’s picture is a happy dolphin drawn by Michaela, Age 23 from Oldland.
Email the editor: [email protected] 3 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Senior Player Profile
This month’s senior player under the spot light is …
Building Surveyor, Matthew ‘Mutley’ Perriman! So, what has Mutley brought to the party I hear you ask, apart from his freak strength, he’s only gone and brought Mouse Trap! Classic!
Name: Matt ‘Mutley’ Perriman Height: 6ft Weight: 13st 3lbs Position: Flanker (with an F) D.O.B: 02/05/1984
It's back! This time, Matthew 'Mutley' Freak Strength or just freak? Perriman is centre stage! So, as we wait for the others to arrive, With the first issue of WC? being such a Mutley and I head to the kitchen to rip-roaring success, the editorial team are indulge in an aperitif and canapé, and pumping money into the venture hand over whilst I have him alone I take the fist, drastically increasing my budget, so I opportunity to ask him to enlighten me have decided to spend wildly for my about his arrival at the club. return and hold a party, but not just any Worryingly, Mutley begins by telling me party, oh no, this is a retro board game he is a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do, a party! All attendees are bringing along revelation that makes me remove the their favourite game from their bottle opener from his hand and take a childhood, a full on nostalgia fest! Please safer stance on the other side of the don’t be offended if you didn’t get an kitchen. I of course remind Mutley that I invite, my living room isn’t that large, plus like him very much and always have. I don’t like you. Anyway, with such talents under his belt *Ringgggg* Ah, the front door, excuse me (pun intended) Mutley had to find a sport while I get that………………………..Well, well, if that fitted his style. Of course, Football, it isn’t everyone’s favourite Graduate Netball and fishing just wouldn’t cut the mustard, but luckily an old friend guided
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Mutley onto the right path. “Matt Bryant because he began to rattle off details of asked me if I fancied taking part in one of his short, injury ravaged career. A Kingswood’s training sessions and despite Ruptured knee in 2006/07, a knee being on the receiving end of one of Gary operation the same season, plus a 2nd Inman’s” (wasn’t that the guy in Are You batch of surgery in 08/09 has meant that Being Served?) “tackles in the very first Mutley has had a fairly stuttering career session, I've never looked back” so far. But, despite these setbacks, and the fact that Mutley was under the guidance of Cabbage for the early part of his playing career, Mutley has come a long way since charging down that penalty kick at BAC. At the end of 2009/10, Mutley was a regular in the 1st XV squad. Mutley has been away from the game recently due to further complications, namely a shoulder injury and marriage, but he is set to return to the field of dreams just as soon as he has recovered from ANOTHER operation. Once Mutley had finished prattling on about his chocolate appendages I managed to ask him to tell me about his favourite ever game. “Well, I love the whole mechanics of it. You wind the handle that makes the boot kick the bucket containing a small metal ball…” Ah, Mutley, I think we
Gary Inman? have our wires crossed, I meant, what’s By now, the living room is a bustling hive your favourite game for Kingswood? of activity. The table is covered with a “Oh I see, well, my favourite game has to multitude of 80’s plastic, there’s Pop-Up be from the Chipping Sodbury cup game 2 Pirate, Buckaroo and Hungry Hungry seasons ago, it was one of those ‘nothing Hippos, as well as Mutley’s very own to lose, everything to gain’ matches. As we Mouse Trap. arrived at the pitch, the Chipping Sodbury The evening gets underway with a quick lads were already out doing their warm- game of Pop-Up Pirate, a game that in up. Even though the weather was terrible, these modern times would probably be there was a great buzz amongst the team banned for Health and Safety reasons, which continued throughout the game, a not because of the projectile plastic buzz that undoubtedly helped lead us to Pirate, but more to do with the rise in our win. The feeling after the game was heart-attacks which occurred during the amazing!” intense moments that you pricked the The evening was now in full swing and the barrel with your sword (A great sentence air is filled with excitement as well as the for fans of double-entendres). smell of nerves, not helped by the tension Seeing the poor old Pirate being bashed building game that is Buckaroo. around left, right and centre, must have BANG! There goes the donkey, showering triggered something in Mutley’s brain, my floor in bits of plastic.
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As we prepare for the final game of the evening, Mouse Trap, Mutley tells me about his favourite moment as a Kingswood player. “It's got to be when we played Tredworth away in 2010. I’d had a really s**t week, you know the one where your washing machine packs up, the boss thinks your useless etc. Anyway, I had a great time taking out my frustration during the game, but more importantly, I actually managed to catch a ball off of
Chris Phillips and score! Come to think of it, so did everyone else in the Kingswood side that day” I managed to break the building suspense with a quick question, what is your rugby philosophy? His answer was simple “Mutley chase, Mutley smash”
Mutley Smash! Here comes the cage...bash, Mutley traps my little mouse and it’s a much desired victory for Mr Perriman. Well, it’s been a long, entertaining evening, but we all begin to tidy away our stuff and head home for the evening. Just as everyone is leaving the room, I notice a small bit of plastic under the table. I fetch it out and hand it to Mutley. “This must be yours” I tell him. Mutley studies the bit of plastic before handing it back and saying… “That’s not part of my game”
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Mint Berry Krunch
The Big K’s resident dietician and nutritionist gives you some helpful hints and tips to shift that excess weight…
Welcome back to the diet clinic with me poles (not the Anthony Davies type of Dr P Iles. I must say I was surprised to Pole either). be called back for a second edition and even more surprised to hear that Mint Bulk UP Berry Krunch was nominated for the If you are suffering from the same Pulitzer Prize. If you’ve been following my condition as Spring, in which you cannot recommendations then those ‘Monty gain weight or mass regardless of what Muffin Tops’ should be starting to shift. you try to eat, then try this meal plan. To help them on their way here’s a few The key is to eat 6 meals a day to keep more diet and work out tips. your body fuelled, you wouldn’t chuck one big log onto a fire once a day, you need to Fireman’s Workout feed it little and often. Have you ever wondered how Mutley got Breakfast so pumped? Surely it can’t just be from 1 bowl of porridge with chopped nuts & washing fire engines and brandishing his skimmed milk Fire Service ID card. Well it’s not, I Mid-Morning Snack caught up with the fitness fanatic and 1 small bowl of pasta with tuna and a light here are his secrets. oil dressing Whilst working out Mutley enjoys nothing Lunch more than sliding up and down a greasy Grilled skinless chicken breast with salad pole, a fireman’s pole to be exact. To get on rye bread (no mayonnaise) that Mongo upper body strength he ties Afternoon Snack two distressed damsels around his waist 1 Banana, 1 green apple and a handful of and hauls himself back up the pole, his mixed nuts secret is to complete twenty reps to Dinner really get the lactic acid flowing. ‘I love Steamed skinless salmon with steamed the burn’ he screams as I watch him scale vegetables (no potatoes) the gigantic rod. Supper After completing twenty reps Mutley 4 Ryvita crackers with low fat cottage strips to his boxers and lets the burly cheese Firemen hose him down, the fierce If you follow this meal plan you’ll be pressure of the hose spraying all over him looking like Jay Carey in no time. combined with the icy cold water aid rapid repair of his muscles. A lot of professional athletes take ice baths after a vigorous work out but Mutley prefers a good soaking from the Fireman’s hose. If you want to look like Mutley or possess his inhuman strength then get yourself down to your local Fire Department, alternatively strip clubs have equally good Jay Carey and his impressive TRAPS
Email the editor: [email protected] 7 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
The Directors Cut
The Big K’s Director shares a few thoughts with the general population…
Nine months ago, Mark Phillips asked me scenes now, which did not before, through to consider the role of Director of Rugby. our determined and dynamic committee. Having held no official Office at KRFC Their enthusiasm remains undiminished since 1996, when I was Club Captain, the (despite frequent setbacks) and they set proposal required careful consideration. I the standard against which I try to spoke at length with Ian Kirley and I was aspire. It’s difficult to overstate how genuinely and deeply surprised by a much work these guys get through in number of things. Not merely the palpable order that our membership can rock up to maturity that Ian had acquired, but a chase the egg, have a hot shower and visceral passion and vision which truly enjoy a cheap pint. impressed me. Until that point, my abiding I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed engaging with memory of Ian was from a distant some of the younger lads with whom, given midsummer “Funky Family Fun Day” when that I no longer play, I wouldn’t ordinarily an Apple fuelled duo of Kirley and Special have the opportunity to develop a mounted a pair of TV-Gladiator style familiarity (dare I say friendship?) I don’t rostrums atop an inflatable base, stripped recall ever speaking with Nick Coe before to the waist, and proceeded to savagely we simultaneously became Club Captain assault each other with padded staffs. and Director of Rugby. I’ve since Children and adults alike were visibly discovered that, although he is the traumatized; but Ian and Special, though quintessential strong-silent type (when battered and bruised, thought it was a not tearing it up in Chasers), he is totally great lark. The boy has come a long way! committed and unassuming off the pitch So, suitably impressed by the case while ferocious and gifted on it. I have presented, I willingly accepted the role of absolutely no doubt that, if Nick were a Director of Rugby. Even in this short few inches taller and a few kilos heavier, time, it’s been an eclectic journey. One in he would be a professional rugby player. which I have tried to make sense of the He is a pleasure to work with. role, what value it could bring to a club Consequently, it saddens me when the the size and shape of Kingswood and level of humility and dedication Nick whether I had what it takes to do it brings is not reciprocated in terms of justice. support at training sessions and So much has happened, but I’m limited to availability. We have had well over 70 1000 words for this piece, so it won’t be different players turn out in total this possible to do justice to the long list of season, yet we struggle to get 45 key messages I want to render. So I’ve available any given Saturday. The same picked a couple at random. vicarious disappointment extends on Pleasant Surprises. behalf of all Captains and Vices. Anyway – Notwithstanding the above plug for Ian that’s for another day. Kirley, I have been astonished by the amount of work that happens behind the
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The Kingswood Knights. absolutely respect that. These guys have I thought I’d come to the Director role served their time and are entitled to reap full of smart ideas and high-falutin’ plans some reward. But our dependence on to grow the club and take it to the next stalwarts such as Rich Caines to occupy level. Upon working with Derek Golding, important playing-roles is not sustainable. now known as Superman, it soon became We have played that long-suit for more very obvious that much of my work had years that I care to contemplate. We been done for me. Like most members, I cannot keep going back to the future. was aware our Junior section was healthy. With that in mind, I’m appealing to the But I had absolutely no idea how strong senior players at the start of their career the Junior section actually was under to really show an interest in key roles and Derek’s tutelage. His ideology is simple; be at the forefront of the renaissance. keep if affordable, participate because The world is a different place now, and you want to and participate right. This holding a responsible office in a philosophy is imposed and policed with an recognized organization such as iron will. Consequently, our Junior section Kingswood Rugby Club will not only help is governed fairly and efficiently, without you grow as a person, it will look great on fuss and with near-zero player attrition. your CV. I’m also looking to formulate a The word has spread and our Junior sustainable recruitment strategy and section is inundated with so many pint- campaign which will tap into our sized recruits that we have reached the catchment. I need your opinions and your physical capacity with which our facilities time. To paraphrase the inaugural address can cope. It is to Derek’s immense credit, of JFK - ask not what KRFC can do for and that of his wider team of parents and you, ask what you can do for KRFC! coaches (an honourable mention to our VP Ian Crook in this regard) that the Kingswood Juniors, and their sobriquet of “Kingswood Knights” is now one of the most respected youth movements in local rugby. In conclusion, it is evident that Kingswood RFC, in some respects, is a world apart from the rugby club I left at the end of my playing days. We have a thriving Junior section and in the Senior section an ambitious and youthful vanguard occupying the leading offices of the club. However in other respects we have actually regressed. We need to kick on to the next level. We are trying to kick-start a rugby renaissance in our Senior section. However, the plug is not yet sparking. I think our regular playing base has a relatively high average age; many of our players (understandably) want to play their rugby on their own terms. I
Email the editor: [email protected] 9 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Did You Know?
Big K Professor Brian Coccyx gives you his views on the universe…
Unfortunately Prof. Brian Coccyx was every part of the rocket is destroyed. unavailable this week, he is being This is the consumerist age we are living interviewed for ‘Embarrassing Bodies’, I in. This a big burden on the tax payer and can only assume his rash has flared up with the UK kicking off its own space again. program, where will this money come I am Dr B. Umder PhD and will be taking from? What we need is a reusable rocket. this opportunity to talk to you about a It just so happens that a South African very serious problem facing our planet, born millionaire and entrepreneur is GLOBAL WARMING. Whilst I am a strong working on exactly that. In 2002 Elon believer in the planet going through Musk, founder of PayPal and Tesla Motors natural cycles of heating up and cooling (a company manufacturing all electric down I also believe that Humans, as the sports cars), set up a new company called dominant life force on this planet, are SpaceX. helping to speed this cycle along. All sorts of things contribute/get blamed for GLOBAL WARMING, from cows farting to people going on holiday in aeroplanes. One thing that doesn’t seem to get mentioned is space travel.
$60 Million, Tesla all electric sports cars Really? His goal was to put a small vegetable greenhouse on Mars, project ‘Mars Oasis’ was born. Musk soon realised that although he was a millionaire, at $60 million a pop rockets were not a viable option for his project. Not to be defeated Everything that goes into space, be it a he set about designing and building a dog or a satellite, only has one way of reusable, cost effective rocket capable of getting there, strapped to the back a delivering payloads to Mars. In 2012 the rocket. Each launch costs in excess of SpaceX Dragon craft was the first non- $60 million and the rocket is destroyed governmental built and commissioned during the process. Imagine buying a new space craft to dock with the car after every trip to the shops. Not International Space Station. Not only did only do rockets burn high amounts of this open up space to the private rocket propellant grade jet fuel, which companies around the world it was also pumps out a massive amount of C02, but achieved using the SpaceX Falcon 9
Email the editor: [email protected] 10 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50 rocket that cost a mere $12 million to launch. SpaceX are already working on making the Falcon rockets reusable in something they are calling Project Grasshopper (watch the Grasshopper test flight on YouTube) On the back of SpaceX’s success they have secured several contracts for launching satellites and delivering pay loads to the ISS that would previously only have been given to government contractors. As well as helping to open up the space race to privately owned companies SpaceX have lowered the cost to tax payers, developed a reusable rocket and in the process managed to reduce the amount of fuel required to do so.
SpaceX Dragon docking with ISS
All this has come from one man’s dream to build a greenhouse on Mars. With the collective power of our thoughts and dreams imagine how much we could achieve.
Email the editor: [email protected] 11 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Junior Player Profile
This month’s junior player under the spot light is…
Ellis: Hotdogs after the game
WC?: Cinema or bowling?
Ellis: Bowling
WC?: Favourite colour?
Ellis: Turquoise
WC?: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Ellis: A fireman
WC?: What is your favourite memory in your time at Kingswood? Name: Ellis Bywater Height: 3ft 7 inches Ellis: This seasons Christmas party Weight: 3 St 9Lb Age 6 WC?: Who do you want to marry when you get older? WC?: How long have you played for Kingswood? Ellis: Chloe Scott
Ellis: 9 Months
WC?: Who is your Rugby Hero?
Ellis: Toby Flood
WC?: Favourite console or handheld game?
Ellis: Skylanders
WC?: What do you like the most about Kingswood Rugby Club?
Email the editor: [email protected] 12 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Senior Match Reports
1st XV Match Reports 3rd XV Match Reports
There are currently no new match reports Results; for the First XV. No results available Results; As with the 2nd XV the 3rd XV are also looking for a match reporter. If you want Saturday 5th January to experience all the dramas of third Kingswood 5 – 22 Gloucester Old Boys team rugby from the terraces then please send you application to Saturday 12th January [email protected]. Kingswood 3 – 74 Hucclecoat
For all the latest match reports and Saturday 26th January photos head over the Big K website Kingswood 0 – 26 Longlevens www.kingswoodrfc.co.uk
If you would like to help out with First XV match reports then please send your application to [email protected].
nd 2 XV Match Reports
Results;
No results available
Kingswood 2nd XV are looking to recruit a 2nd XV match reporter. If you would like to get involved and travel round with the 2nd XV please send your application to [email protected]. You will get to experience all the highs and lows as they happen as you cover the latest action from the side-lines for home and away games.
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The Lost Boy’s
This feature is one that has always been close to my heart, we take the chance to look back at a couple of players who we’ve loved and lost and share a few memories…
through injury and before the coach had even left the car park Steve was well on his way to inebriation. The day progressed, the game was played and lost and Steve was slipping deeper and deeper into an alcohol fuelled stupor. Despite the result spirits were high and the Bream boys had made the mistake of challenging the Big K to one last game before we left. This was a game we knew we could win, a boat race! We had the mighty drinking powers possessed by Extra, Jammer, Mark Oakley and a few other glutton’s but we were one short.
Name: Steve Trevelyan From the corner there rose a slumbering Last Seen: 2011 giant, somewhere in his sub-conscious Last Known Whereabouts: Eating out of Steve Trevelyan had heard the summons bins in a drunken stupor somewhere near of a boat race and took up the position of Bedminster. rear gunner. Needless to say the Big K were triumphant, Steve had already Steve had been with us for quite a while, finished his pint before Bream had we all remember his drinking and eating reached their fourth man. abilities but most of all we remember him Feeling recharged from his power nap and for his presence on the pitch. You could with the adrenaline of battle coursing always count on Steve to make his tackles, through his alcohol system Steve picked and yours if you happened to miss them. up where he left off, drinking. By the One of my fondest memories of dear old time the coach had arrived back at Steve was also possibly the last time he Kingswood Steve could barely walk. was seen. Legend has it that he even carried on into It was a First XV away game to Bream town that night. RFC, a vile hell hole deep in the belly of If you have seen or know any information Hicksville. As it’s quite a trip the club had regarding the where-a-bouts of Steve laid on a coach for the players and Trevelyan then please get in contact with supporters. Steve hadn’t been seen for us. several months prior to this but had miraculously appeared at the rumour of a coach trip. He was on strict orders from his other half not to get drunk. Unfortunately for her Paulo was side-lined
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to their fixture it was announced that the game had been cancelled as the pitch was being used for a horse gymkhana. Much to Specials delight the rest of the day could be spent drinking, he threw his kitbag into the hotel lobby and ran off down the street laughing and giggling like a little girl. Come early evening it was decided that most of the touring party would have a slap up meal in the ‘Penny Lane’ restaurant opposite the hotel. A five foot chef statue was later found floating in the pool hotel but that’s a story for another day. Name: Matt Davies (Special) Nick Cooper had taken a keen interest in Last Seen: Haunting the Big K Specials IQ and asked the barmaid for a Last Known Whereabouts: Setting up an colouring pack for his learning impaired Emu farm in Edinburgh friend. Unable to contain his excitement and no longer able to wait for his meal Matt Davies, or Special as his known, is Special devoured a hole pack of crayons the second subject of our Lost Boy’s prompting Nick Cooper to point out that feature. He had played rugby most of his he was indeed rather ‘Special’, and so the life for the Little K but at the age of name stuck. sixteen decided to come and join the Big Due to a chocolate gene, that appears to K. He was an instant hit, a likable chap be hereditary in his family, Special was with the playing abilities of Bobby out injured more often than he played. In Boucher (The Waterboy). He even made his years long absence his younger the same noises when he tackled. I will brother started playing and suffering share with you the story of how he came from the same learning impairment to be known as Special, and later as Ant’s became known as Extra, short for Extra Brother. Special. Due to his brothers long absence It was the tour of 2002 and the Big K Extra became the special one were off to Portugal. This being Specials representing the club in many a special first season and first tour with the club Olympic, thus demoting the original he was a Virgin. A great alliance of Virgins Special to be known only as Ant’s Brother. was formed that year known only as T- Special has been the centre of several Unit and included other Lost Boy’s such as scandals and rumours with one of the Matt Bryan (Gollum) and Sam Massey. latest being that he had passed away. It Special was always game for a laugh and is said that you can still see him carried out any instruction given to him. wandering the field of dreams and Through his actions he had made a bit of haunting the Big K. Some people even a name for himself as someone who would claimed to have seen him at the New most definitely not be asked to join Year’s Eve party. Was it a premonition or Mensa. is he really alive. Only a permanent return On the second day of tour just as to the Big K on Saturdays will confirm his everyone was boarding the coach to travel existence.
Email the editor: [email protected] 15 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Junior Match Reports
Under 11’s Match Reports Under 8’s Match Reports
There are no new Under 8 match reports. There are no new Under 11 match reports.
Results; Results:
Sunday 27th January Sunday 13th January 2013 Kingswood 11 – 16 Wells Kingswood 49 – 15 Broad Plain
Sunday 27th January 2013 Under 7’s Match Reports Kingswood 0 – 68 Wells
Sunday 27th January Under 10’s Match Reports Kingswood 11 – 11 Wells What a fabulous day for the Knights first
home game – We had warm sunshine, a Results; local MP, a fantastic turnout, plenty of
mud and a glorious rainbow after the No results available torrential downpour!
Our visitors arrived from Wells with their The Kingswood Knights Under 10’s are team and although a little short on looking for a match reported so if you are players, the Knights volunteered to make a parent or sibling or just want to try up their numbers for the game to go your hand at journalism then please let us ahead. know and we can add your match day There were tough under foot conditions reports to the magazine and website today, however, this did not hinder the
team’s ability to run in some good try’s. Under 9’s Match Reports Two games went ahead, with the Knights swapping players over after approximately
ten minutes, to give each of the team There are no new Under 9 match reports. members a chance of play. Wells and the
Knights were well matched. Results; Wells had a good defensive line which at
times, hard to break but with some really Sunday 27th January good passages of play, the Knights were Kingswood 20 – 40 Wells able to cross the try line a number of
times. The defensive line held up to
prolonged attacks from the home team
but the Knights at times, found it
difficult to turn the ball over. Wells were a much stronger team than when we
Email the editor: [email protected] 16 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50 played them back in November and this changing over at half time. This gave all really showed today. the players a chance to play three Both these games were well contested and quarters of a game. it was only down to a couple of With Red’s team being under strength the misjudgements and handling errors (more Knights loaned the Reds a player for the than likely down to the mud!) that ended game to go ahead , a massive thank you the game on a draw. The teams were well to Enan Jones for volunteering and for matched in defence and attack given the his strong all round performance , that very trying conditions, both games ended lead to a couple of great tries. The Reds on a draw with an aggregated score of 11 and Knights were well matched on the day all. with only a couple of tries being between Fair play to both the teams, given the the teams in the end. The Reds had a good extremely muddy conditions and erratic defensive line which was hard to break weather, they all had great fun and but with some good passages of play the enthusiasm the whole time. Knights were able to cross the try line a Try Scorers were:- number of times. The defensive line held Alfie Rossiter – 1, Thomas Cottrell – 3, up to prolonged attacks from the home Haydn Vince – 1, Alex Harvey – 1, Noah team but the Knights found it difficult to May – 1, Finlay Henderson Barr – 1, Ethan turn the ball over. Both these games were Henderson-Barr -1, Findlay Starkey – 1, well contested and it was only down to a Molly Bleadon – 1 couple of misjudgements and handling Man of the Match was awarded errors that separated the teams at the to Thomas Cotterell for his all-round end. performance and running some fantastic An appreciative thank you to the parents try’s. and supporters for Knights under7’s which Golden Ball was awarded to Daniel has not waivered this season even now the Jones for consistency in his performance cold, wet weather as appeared. over the last few weeks. Try Scorers were:- Well done Knights, a fantastic result! Charlie Cooke -2 Ethan Henderson-Barr -1 Again an appreciative thank you to the Haydn Vince-1 Callum McConville-3 parents and supporters for Knights The Man of the Match was awarded under7’s which has continued to be to Finlay Henderson-Barr for his all- extremely strong. round performance and running some fantastic try’s. Sunday 6th January The Golden Ball was awarded to Luke Kingswood 7 – 10 Old Reds Harris for huge improvement in his Welcome back everyone to our first game playing. of 2013 away to Old Reds at Brislington. The biggest turn out so far on a Sunday morning with 22 players eager to burn off Micros Summary all the Christmas chocolate! The coaches came with a plan, arrived If anyone involved with the smallest organised and ready to drive the team. members of the Big K would like to submit Un-like previous weeks, players were a write up each issue about the progress separated with one team playing, the of the micro section please contact us at other training on an adjoining pitch and [email protected]
Email the editor: [email protected] 17 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
The Tale of the Hungry Goose
Director of Rugby, Paul Meaden, talks about player recruitment and attrition…
who will put their shoulder to the wheel, win games, gain promotion and consequently raise our glass ceiling. In fact the opposite is true. Our very best players tend to migrate to clubs with a loftier league status. It’s classic Catch- 22. However, above said, this season has been particularly hard work. We have desperately scrambled for numbers. We have fielded upward of 80 (eighty) different players this season, yet on any Feed ME given Saturday, we struggle to find 45
players to fulfil three fixtures! How does Recruitment of new players in the senior that happen? It could be a symptom of section of our club has always been a apathy, but I prefer to think of it as an labour of love. Our target demographic is assumption that KRFC is an avuncular naturally defined by three main factors. Goose that will continue to lay Golden Firstly, our position in the league Eggs for members to collect whenever hierarchy is effectively a glass ceiling to they fancy. Well the Goose is hungry and attract ambitious First XV players. will refuse to lay Eggs if it is not Secondly, the perception of KRFC as a sustained. We, as a membership, have an socially welcoming rugby club is the obligation to sustain the Goose. This is benchmark against which workaday “Club” not a unique problem for us, but is worse players and novices will join. Finally, the now than I can remember. I really feel quality of our facilities will underpin the for the skippers, particularly when decision of every potential recruit. mountains are constructed from molehills, In my opinion, the second factor has and those people who do the most work yielded by far the most success over the are encumbered with an avalanche of years. KRFC’s proud boast is our “One criticism, yet still expected to keep their Club” philosophy. We are an aggressively own morale high. egalitarian fraternity where no cliques So we are in new territory. We have exist, every member’s voice carries equal always struggled in terms of First XV weight, beer is cheap and friends are League status. (Over the years we have dear. This is obviously a fantastic story to predominantly bobbed between sell, and will of course attract the type of Gloucester Leagues One and Two, with members who would flourish at KRFC. the occasional flirtation with League While this provides the lifeblood of our Three. At time of writing we are eight club (and long may it continue), leagues below Leicester Tigers and five unfortunately, with the odd exception, it Leagues below Dings Crusaders.) But we does not furnish us with a regular supply have always been strong in terms of of hungry and talented First XV players quantity of players, and have consistently
Email the editor: [email protected] 18 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50 fielded three senior teams where other My idea is to define a demography from clubs have years-since jettisoned their which to recruit, which is targeted more third teams. In some cases, even their towards younger lads who are either second teams! As things stand, we will rugby novices (maybe played a bit at have to decide whether to seek Third XV school), to older lads who have played fixtures for next season or lose our Third before and drifted away from the game team altogether. This is an appalling and finally to lads who are sports minded, situation and needs to be rectified! but maybe play a different sport – e.g. As Director of Rugby, part of my role is Sunday morning football or 5-a-side. You to own and execute the recruitment get the idea. The means to recruit them is strategy for KRFC. Given the situation I where the lateral thinking applies. My have explained above, the priority is to approach is to de-mystify rugby, and “Sustain the Goose” and to ensure we do break down the barriers. I intend to not lose our Third XV, while not dropping create a Recruitment Pamphlet which the ball to improve our First XV League deconstructs the legend and makes people status. To this end, we need a little believe that rugby is accessible, not lateral thinking for player recruitment prohibitively dangerous and has the which extends beyond the standard potential to change their life. If my advert in the Evening Post (which in my message is still not clear – see the experience never yields results). following myth-busters. I have always believed that rugby tends, and likes, to wrap itself in a mythological You do not have to be physically big to blanket. We all like to sit in the office on play rugby. a Monday morning and bask in our glory as You do not have to be physically strong to play rugby. a rugby gladiator, maybe sporting a black- You do not have to be able to run fast eye or exaggerating a dead-leg, while our to play rugby. non rugby-playing colleagues look on You do not need to be particularly incredulously, shaking their heads in courageous to play rugby. disbelief that we could be so cavalier and You do not need terrific general heroic. The ubiquity of this perception is sporting skills to play rugby. a great ego boost and all part of the fun, Rugby is not the preserve of the rd but I think it creates a false impression young. Our 3 team captain is 59! of what it actually takes to play a game of While injuries are a natural hazard, they are no more prevalent in rugby rugby. It makes people wary, and than any other sport. engenders in them a “No Way Jose” “Local” rugby caters for all abilities. attitude when invited to participate. KRFC has some very good players and Those of us who have played a bit of some less accomplished players. Third XV rugby know you don’t have to be KRFC runs three senior (adult) teams. as hard as Richie McCaw, as skilful as KRFC has a “One Club” inclusion policy. Frederic Michelak or as fit and strong as This means that every member, James Haskell. In fact, if you have played irrespective of their playing ability, is with Cainesy, you’ll know that to own those actively treated as an equal within the club. Elitism is not tolerated. attributes sets strenuous expectations, Rugby is a great way to get fit. so he has made a successful career by You play one game of rugby and you actively avoiding them. immediately have 14 new mates.
Email the editor: [email protected] 19 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
By joining KRFC, new Kingswood residents can quickly integrate into the community. Membership of KRFC can Increase
your network of business associates.
KRFC has members from all trades and professions.
Rich Caines and I will be spearheading the recruitment campaign, but we need your assistance. Our target audience is roughly 18-30 year-old males, ideally sports minded who live within a 2 mile radius of the club. We think we can find these people in gyms, pubs and clubs, in the workplace, in further education institutes, at home and via social networks. We are looking for members to volunteer to be KRFC Ambassadors who can distribute our Pamphlet in their workplace or college, and who are prepared to act as the local contact and entry point into KRFC. We will also organize a few evenings where we travel en-masse through hostelries in our catchment, distributing Pamphlets, talking to groups of lads to let them know about us, and maybe even having the odd beer or two. This is not a big commitment. If you would like to be a KRFC Ambassador in your gym or your place of work etc., please contact Rich Caines or me. It is time to let The Goose Feed.
DoR.
Email the editor: [email protected] 20 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Pipe and Slippers
Pipe and Slippers features letters, tweets, posts and emails submitted by you, the reader. If you want to have your say on any subject or just want to submit a joke then send your entry to the following. Facebook: facebook.com/KingswoodRFC, Twitter: @kingswoodrfc, Email: [email protected]: Snail Mail: Kingswood RFC, Grimsbury Road Playing Fields, Grimsbury Road, Kingswood, Bristol, BS15 9RA
As our colouring competition kicked off he really reminds me of someone but I last issue we are pleased to announce can’t put my finger on it. Victoria 22, January’s winning entry. The below Warmley specimen was submitted by our very own Club Captain, who also set up the competition, I think something fishy is going on here and may have to investigate the staff. Anyway, congratulations Nick on your wonderful blue and red lion. Editor
Guess who?
Thank you for your submission Victoria, I know what you mean when you say he looks familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen him around as well, always wearing a yellow t-shirt, but Keep up the good work Nick like you I can’t quite put my finger on who he reminds me of. Send you guesses to Hi WC? I loved your look alike photo last [email protected]. Editor issue and want to submit this little gem for you. I see him around quite a lot and
Email the editor: [email protected] 21 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
If you are under 18 and in full time education then you can get a free gum shield. The nice people at Lodge Causeway Dental Centre are offering free gum shields (also known as sports guards) to under 18's in full time education. Please see the posters around the club for more details or call Kath or Emma on 0117 9586878. This kind offer is time limited so hurry up and book your appointment. Editor
Hi WC? its me, Chairman, Ian Kirley. As the Six Nations is approaching I just wanted to let you know that ESPN are running a fantasy rugby league on their website. I’ve set up a private league so can you let everyone know to go and join in the competitive fun. Ian, 30 Kingswood
Well hello there Mr Chairman, it’s lovely to hear from you and yes of course we will let everyone know. You can find the fantasy rugby at http://espnscrum.fantasyleague.com/, the private league is called ‘The Big K’, obviously, and the pin to join is 24765 so come on people, join the fun. Editor
If you’re looking to buy some England kit to celebrate the Six Nations then head over to the Big K shop as we are now stocking England playing shirts and England branded items. Visit the website or get to the shop through Facebook. The club will of course be open for all of the Six Nations games. Editor
Email the editor: [email protected] 22 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Moving Picture Box
Mike Oakley gives you his opinion and reviews of something that he has seen on the ‘Moving Picture Box’…
This week on the Moving Picture Box I I couldn’t believe my eyes, one of our own would like to tell you about ‘I’m A had made it as a Z list celeb. After seeing Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! Now’. I that, there was no way I could stop haven’t watched this program for a few myself from watching this year’s ‘I’m A years but this year something peeked my Celeb’ and support my mate “Fatima” in his interest in the advertisement. Most of quest to become King of the jungle, but it you would have seen (if not bought) the just wasn’t meant to be. ”Fatima” finished naked calendar the Big K produced last a credible third in the competition and year to raise money for ‘Help for Heroes’, even had a cockroach (that looked well, I didn’t realise that the people that suspiciously like Ben Phillips) stuck up his had bared all for the calendar now had nostril that had to be flushed out! “celebrity” status, this was all about to So, which show will one of our calendar change. stars turn up on next? Will we see Joe There I was sat at home after a hard day Jones Griffiths appear on ‘Dancing On at work, I switched on the moving picture Ice’? Or will we see Ian Kirley on Britain’s box to watch an Edumakashunal program Got Talent? Who knows, who really cares! called Pointless Celebrities (which is a great name for a show and I wonder if the “celebs” can see the irony) but before I could turn over the advert came on for ‘I’m A Celebrity’ and up popped our very own stud muffin, Lewis “Goose” Voisey, one of the stars of our naked calendar, under the pseudonym of Fatima Whitbread!
Goose shoots to fame in Big K naked calendar Goose enjoying his time in the jungle as a minor celeb
This has been the Moving Picture Box; I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Heeeerrrreeeee
Email the editor: [email protected] 23 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
Upcoming Events
Make sure you put the dates in your diary for all these upcoming events
Senior Tour
As a reminder to those members touring this year the remainder of the £250 is due by February 16th.
6 Nations Date: Saturday 2nd February 2013 Time: 16:00
England V’s Scotland
6 Nations Date: Saturday 10th February 2013 Time: 16:00
Ireland V’s England
6 Nations Date: Saturday 23rd February 2013 Time: 16:00
England V’s France
Email the editor: [email protected] 24 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
So Long, Farewell, Aufedersein, Goodbye
Firstly I would like to take this bright future, playing their sport at a opportunity to thank all those who competitive level. Apparently the Blue supported the New Year’s Eve event and Square Premier League wasn’t that made it an enjoyable night. We had great appealing. So we’d like to say a big thank takings over the bar and as we all know its you to Dean at Smart computers in money over the bar that keeps us running. Kingswood for sponsoring the club with a Let’s hope we get the same level of spanking new laptop. support for any future events that the club works hard to provide. I would also like to say a big thank you to Jackie Brimble who spent the whole day of New
Year’s Eve stuck in the tiny kitchen at the On Sunday the 27th our local MP Chris Big K preparing the banquet that all the Skidmore gave up his own time to come guests were treated to, so once again and take a look at what the Big K was all thank you for your help Jackie. about. As he arrived he was met with the It’s been another challenging month for sight of hundreds of juniors swarming the Big K in both the seniors and juniors, around the grounds and the club bursting we missed a game or two due to the at the seams. This was a prime weather and again we haven’t quite found opportunity to display to our local MP the our form yet. Things may be about to work that Deejé and his team are doing change as we have had an influx of new for the community and the junior section players. Although they haven’t earned whilst displaying the constraints of our their blue and poo stripes yet they can facilities. Thank you to all who attended only help to bolster the teams. With and those that helped with the organising, fifteen of them signing on to play this will hopefully this will open new avenues for help ensure that we maintain our third XV the club and show everyone what a pillar and can fulfil our fixtures every week. of the community we have become. There might even be a couple of them On a sadder note the club have had to that can actually play rugby which will increase the bar prices. We have help add strength to all three teams. Let’s absorbed the last three increases to make sure they all feel welcome and make sure your drinking stays cheap, but become fully integrated members of the the brewery has again increased their Big K. If you catch any of them in yellow prices. To ensure the club is not making a and green make sure you point them in the loss we have had to pass this charge on. direction of the club shop where they can Prices have gone up across the board but pack their kit bags out with blue and poo even with this increase we are still paraphernalia. cheaper than any other rugby club in the We also have a new sponsor at the club. area, not to mention the pubs. Thank you Some of you may remember them from in advance for your understanding and sponsoring Bristol Rovers but as their continued support. business has grown they have felt the Thank you and good night, much love need to invest money into a club with a The Editor
Email the editor: [email protected] 25 February 2013 Why Chocolate? – KRFC Magazine – Rev002 Price: £1.50
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