Church for Under 5S

ISSN 1751-4355 no. 31: Small Beginnings: Church for Under 5s Discoveries about fresh expressions of church from The Sheffield Centre Small Beginnings Contents Small Beginnings: Church for Under 5s Small Beginnings: What are we learning about A personal u-turn Church for Under 5s ............... 3 fresh expressions of I never saw it coming. Before the birth of my A personal u-turn ........................... 3 church for under 5s?.............. 19 daughter, Natalie, in April 2005, I had a feeling Expect small ................................. 19 that being a mother would be hard work Why is under 5s work so Expect regular ............................... 19 (although I didn’t realise how hard). I knew deep important? ................................. 4 Expect short .................................. 20 down something incredible was about to happen Changes ......................................... 4 Think long-term ............................ 20 so I was not altogether surprised when it felt like A rare openness in parents It is early days ................................ 20 my heart had to triple in size to contain all and in under 5s .............................. 5 This is not just for the children… .. 22 the love and fear I now felt. What was so very New resources .............................. 7 unexpected was the instantaneous u-turn in my attitude towards children’s ministry in church. The limitations of Wider issues .............................. 23 all-age worship .............................. 8 Closer to existing ........................... 23 Before Natalie, I must confess I didn’t really Unity expressed in a think about children’s ministry at all, especially What is a fresh expression different way .................................. 23 provision for under 5s. I was vaguely aware of Claire and Natalie of church for under 5s? ........ 10 All-age can be made to strongly-held differing opinions about children in church but, to my shame, Dazed and confused ..................... 10 work well ........................................ 24 I used to roll my eyes upward when I saw puppet-making workshops So what am I looking for? ............. 11 advertised; I thought something so twee was a million miles away from Learn from the child ............... 26 “cutting edge” mission that we researched in The Sheffield Centre. Mini Mass ................................... 12 Where? ........................................... 12 When I had Natalie, everything changed. When I came back to work How? .............................................. 12 part-time after maternity leave, it seemed blatantly obvious that under 5s Why? .............................................. 13 work should be a part of my research role. By meeting with practitioners and Lynn ................................................ 14 advisors in this field, I have begun to explore my newly-found passion from a mission-shaped church perspective. This has the advantage of helpfully Manna Munchers .................... 16 broadening our team’s awareness of what people are finding regarding Where? ........................................... 16 fresh expressions of church for under 5s and their families. My journey is an How? .............................................. 16 intriguing one and a timely one. Katy and Megan ............................ 17 Suzette ........................................... 18 3 Small Beginnings had 6,868 children on Sunday registers, but nearly as many (6,615) on Why is under 5s work so important? weekday registers.4 Changes A rare openness in parents I started my journey with the well-known statistic discussed in Mission- and in under 5s shaped Church that in 2000 only 4% of children in the UK went to church, For new parents, especially new mothers, based on attendance at Sunday worship. I then met with Margaret Withers, the birth of their baby can lead to an unusually Archbishop’s Officer for Evangelism among Children, who confirmed my open time of life spiritually as the continued - fears that the number of children in this country who know the Christian though declining - stream of baptism requests story is frighteningly low. She and others are concerned, not just for the for the average church illustrates.5 The sense of continuation of the church in the future but, more importantly, the responsibility partnering with creation through giving birth can feel on our part to take the spiritual nurture of children seriously and resource very profound. There is a remarkable social openness ministry among them, just as we would any other people group in society. too to meet new people in a similar situation. I have Mission-shaped Church’s lack of any meaningful exploration on work with found myself talking to complete strangers about children is illustrative of this marginalisation, as is the fact that the funding for relatively private things just because we are Margaret’s role has ceased now she is retired. both pushing prams. “Looking after small children is miraculous, tedious, hilarious, exhausting, soul- 6 As Margaret’s book Mission-shaped Children explains, there is just as destroying, extraordinary and lonely.” These days, many women much need for mission-shaped church thinking for children’s ministry are waiting before having children and consequently, when their first child is as there is for adults. Changes in employment, mobility, divorce, free time born, they miss the stimulation of work and the company of colleagues and and consumerism have profound effects on even the under 5s age group. experience a loss of confidence as they wrestle with very different skills. “The last 20 years have seen more changes in a child’s life than any other time in history.”1 Churches must seriously engage with children how they are I have not met a mum yet who hasn’t sought companionship and solace today and not wish for the children of yesteryear. “The tradition of seeing with another mum. I am constantly surprised at the number of mums, children’s ministry as their attending church or Sunday school has been dads, grandparents and child minders who don’t hesitate unproductive for at least 50 years”, so Margaret writes.2 She then goes on to to cross the threshold of a church describe some of the mission-shaped church thinking and building for a midweek mother and practice that is already taking place. Those churches that baby - or mother and toddler - They are finding are seriously engaging with children are finding growth in group. However, this openness, growth in unexpected unexpected ways and in unexpected places, but “many of on the whole, seems to stop ways and in them are almost unnoticed and are not seen as integral to short of attending church on a unexpected places. the parish’s mission in the community.”3 This is substantiated Sunday morning; the frequently by the Diocese of Guildford which found that its churches hoped-for transfer of members of 4 Archdeacons’ Articles of Enquiry 2004 cited in Mission-shaped Children p.27 5 The number of infant baptisms per 1,000 live births fell by 24% between 1990 and 2000 Bob Jackson Hope for the Church Church House Publishing 2002 p.2 1 Margaret Withers Mission-shaped Children Church House Publishing 2006 p.1 6 The Sunday Times Magazine 27th August 2006 “Choosing Your Moment” An article 2 Mission-shaped Children p.13 comparing the experiences of mothers in their 20s, 30s and 40s, asking the question: “Is there 3 Mission-shaped Children p.13 a right time to have a baby?” 4 5 Small Beginnings a flourishing midweek under 5s group to Sunday morning seldom materialises. the University of Bristol concluded that children have an inbuilt belief in While there are glorious exceptions, the yawning chasm between midweek magic and spirituality, “almost as if their brain is being trained to believe the and Sunday morning is not closing; if anything, it feels as though it is growing unbelievable.”10 Perhaps Wordsworth was right when he wrote, wider for all sorts of reasons7. “But trailing clouds of glory do we come For children under 5, this is a very precious time of From God, who is our home: openness and curiosity. They will explore anything in their Heaven lies about us in our infancy!”11 physical environment given half a chance and have not yet developed the prejudices that adults work with in choosing Judith Wigley makes an excellent point in her book Working with Under 5s: their friendship groups. But, more importantly, there is “research … tells us that if babies’ gestures towards adults are ignored, they mounting evidence to suggest that children might be born will eventually stop trying to gesture and their ability to relate and respond with innate spiritual awareness. The work done by David socially will be limited. Perhaps, then, those who are not stimulated in the Hay and Rebecca Nye, published in Spirit of the Child, spiritual realm may also be prevented from growing spiritually.”12 If this is concludes that there is what they have termed a “relational the case, as Judith rightly says, the time churches spend with under 5s is consciousness” in children as young as 6 or 7; when invited crucial. to reflect on things of a more spiritual nature, the children showed an unusually profound awareness of something New resources beyond the everyday taking place. They were encouraged Wonderfully, for those who are eager to pursue the implication of these to consider the wonders of creation and significant relationships in their lives research discoveries in practice, we now have available to us Godly

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