The Sad Muppet Society presents... Issue 24, Winter 2006

T HE NEWSLETTER

THE SAD

v

a

l MUPPET d e

t r SOCIETY i s t es s u m u s

T HE SABBAT CRUSADE|WARHAMMER 40000 GT REPORT T HE SONS OF GOLGOTHA|REGARDING RETRIBUTION Page 2 Issue 24, Winter 2006 EDITIORAL Contents (THE RAT’ S RAMBLINGS)

The Rat’s Ramblings 2 Well chaps, this is my last the club logo (someone I’m back! More rubbish Newsletter for a while as I’m spotted the old one is based from Chief Muppet stepping down from the on a bit of standard committee after four years, Microsoft clipart) and Mark Events Diary 3 due to increasing work will be sorting out some new commitments. club shirts, and possibly Nailing One’s Colours to 4 Its been a fantastic time and even club dice. the Mast Suffice to say 2005 seems I’m really proud of the club And in the wider Gaming Dave OJ’s Starsmash to have flown by really fast we’ve built and really glad of Club Network, there are lots report and its now almost 2006!!! the new friends I’ve met of things happening. The Turn Up The Heat 6 through the club. Open Play League is set to However despite the The First Naval Cadre apparent speeding up of In particular I would like to get bigger and better with more clubs and systems get their first outing to time, the Sad Muppet extend my thanks to the the WH40K Grand Society seems to got all over other members of the involved. Events such as the Conflict events will have a Tournament the place in 2005. committee, Nick Jenkin, Mark Waple, Dave Offen- stronger than ever GCN The Battle for Solypsis 8 In the GCN Open Play presence in 2006, possibly James, and especially Paul My review of the GCN League we played the most with GCN clubs running the Russell, for all their hard Sabbat Campaign fixtures of any club. We’ve tournaments; and over the work (and at times hard Weekend and the final done a new big tournament, summer GCN clubs are set Regarding Retribution. And cash) which has built the outcome... club we have today. to have a strong role to play on top of that put on a huge as part of GW’s Warhammer The Sons of Golgotha 10 Anyway, assuming I’m in the Gamesday game. 40000 summer campaign. Dave Robotham’s step country, I’ll still be getting to All in all a successful year... by step marine painting as many meetings as I can Of course far more guide Richard (the Rat) Kerry and I’m still going to be the importantly from my point of Chief Muppet GCN Castalain Knight for the view is the nice shiny new Tau Empire Codex which will A Tale of One Game 14 Hampshire & West Berkshire Part two and Nick’s area. hit the shelves March or April. As a result more army building plans Next year (or probably this battlesuits and more come under the year by the time you read vehicles will probably be spotlight this) is already looking very joining the First Naval Cadre. exciting. At the club, we’ve Diary of a Zealot 15 had a welcome influx of new And then there’s going to be The Order of the Pious faces and even new game the seventh edition of a Cross return with more systems (including, shock certain Fantasy system... tales from Solypsis horror, historical wargaming), Anyway please be nice to The Art of War 16 and if rumours are to be whoever replaces me, and believed, Antony Walls will be remember its your club so My ‘How to win’ tactica running a Warhammer get involved!!! Regarding Retribution 17 Fantasy Battle campaign Richard Kerry early in the new year. Our first Fantasy (ex) Chief Muppet tournament in In addition to this, the Mark So long and thanks for all techicolour Waple and myself (but the cheese! mostly Mark) have revamped The League 2005 20

THE CLUB

We’ve now got a club earns you the title ‘Member running, so what’s the deal? Muppet’ and entitles you to a Well, as the main aim is just printed copy of this to cover our running costs, Newsletter plus gets you into ‘The Meet’ on Tuesday nights ‘The Meet’ at member’s is going to cost you £2 if rates. In addition to this you you’re a member and £3 if can join Team: Muppet, for you’re not. the glory of, umm, Basingstoke... So how do I become a member? So that’s it? Front cover: Sorry, this is going to cost Yep, it is. At least until we ‘Ork’ drawn by Nathan you more money. £5 per year change our minds... The finest of Ordo Muppetus White Scary huh? The Newsletter Page 3

2006 SMS Meetings EVENTS DIARY “The Meet” O R MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO SPEND MONEY Glebe Hall, Church Street, Basingstoke 3 January (AGM) 11th February 2006 Winds of War 17 January Bracknell Forest Gamers Warhammer 40000 500 point doubles 31 January tournament. £10 per player, email [email protected] for more info. 14 February 4-5th March 2006 Warhammer 40000 Grand Tournament Finals 28 February 5th March 2006 Overlord 2006 14 March Abingdon Wargaming Club’s annual show at Fitzpatrick High School 28 March in Abingdon. 11 April 25 April 8-9th April 2006 SVA 6 Spiky Club’s annual campaign weekend at the Post Office Social Club 9 May in Reading. 23 May 6 June 22nd April 2006 Salute 2006 20 June South London Warlords’ annual show. Tickets £8, see www.salute.co.uk for more info. 4 July 18 July 6th May 2006 A Small Matter of Honour 06 Our premier Warhammer 40000 tournament returns! £12 per ticket, 1 August contact Nick Jenkin for more info. 15 August 29 August 13-14th May 2006 Grand Tournament Warhammer World, Nottingham. 12 September 26 September 20-21st May 2006 Dark Stars Campaign Weekend The Warhammer 40000 summer campaign starts here! Warhammer 10 October World, Nottingham. 24 October 7 November 4th June 2006 Conflict North Including Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40000, and Lord of the 21 November Rings doubles tournaments. Bolton. 5 December 17-18th June Pompey Pillage 19 December Battle Force Pompey’s annual Warhammer 4000, Fantasy and Anicents tournament in Portsmouth. 18th June 2006 Conflict South Including Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer 40000, and Lord of the Rings doubles tournaments. London. 9-10th September 2006 Colours 2006 The Reading & Newbury Wargames annual show held at Newbury Race Course.

28th October 2006 Regarding Retribution 06 Our Warhammer Fantasy Battle tournament returns!

Date: 6th May 2006 Venue: Church Cottage, Church Street, Basingstoke The Sad Muppet Society proudly presents its annual Warhammer 40000 tournament... In years past, the Space Marines of both the Salamanders, and Dark Angels, have guarded the prize. Now, St Michael will once again play host to war. Artefacts long hidden on the planet's surface have been rediscovered. Now is the time legends will be made! Tickets are £12 for the whole day, including one 400 point combat patrol game and three 1750 point games. Email [email protected] or phone 0118 9820489 (David) for more info. Page 4 Issue 24, Winter 2006

NAILINGS ONE’S COLOURS TO THE MAST! STARSMASH 2005

I last played at this event duo on the table next door Crusader whilst passing when it was held at Colours’ were starting to get nervous). through difficult ground. This original venue at Reading’s On to game two and I had a meant he had to walk, and I Hexagon Theatre. The strange feeling of vue as I had a chance to get some gathering of gamers at that stared out at Jason’s Space shots in. The highlight had to year’s festival was a joy to Marine army, which was be my Scarabs destroying his have been involved with. almost exactly like the one Vindicator on the final turn. A Every year Colours comes How things have changed. I’d just played except this six followed by a six followed calling. The annual Only two muppets could time in Ravenguard colours. by a six. You gotta love em’. Wargaming and miniatures make this year’s Starsmash. After all the dust had settled fare comes to town at The Lord High Castellan of Two assault squads replaced from what turned out to be Newbury racecourse once Muppitania and myself, but the tooled up HQ, other than an incredibly bloody (oily in more, and with it came there were still many other that they were identical! At my case) battle, Mark had Starsmash 6. This, as you all familiar faces to be seen. least a bit of terrain had just done enough to avoid know is Spiky Club’s premier After gathering (which was turned up during the break (I conceding a draw. So 40K tournament. easier said than done as the guess there must have been another loss for me, but only rules pack, which was only some complaints). just, and at least I didn’t available via e-mail, ignored So off we set, and this time phase out! unimportant information assault cannons did the real Else where Richard’s such as start time, venue damage as my slow advance charmed luck from the and directions), the first was halted early on, my previous day had run pairings were mustered. I’d Wraiths dying leaving my screaming from the building been really looking forward other troops woefully as a Big Bug Nid army made to this as I’d built my Necron exposed as they had moved a muddy paste of his Tau (ed Army to 1500 points with up ready to support the - 66 shots and one initial assault. The opposing intent to have them ready for wound!!!!!- typical!!!). this event, and so after army wasn’t the only everyone had finish laughing similarity with game one, as On to game four and Ian’s army, which was of course at my army list, off we went. at the end of turn four my Marines. They were Chaos First game was against Greg guys decided once again that they knew best and this time however, so at least Batchelor and his very nice they looked a bit different. marine army. That’s very proceeded to bugger off. Again I’d just done enough to This was a take and hold and nice in the painting of we battling for pride as we course, not in army prevent a total white wash, and day one drew to a close were playing on table 17 out composition! He was at A of 18. Ian’s army was Small Matter of Honour with a mighty total of 10 points from a possible 60. basically built around the earlier in the year and his new Rhino Rush style of play, army has managed to get Day two dawned and the with each unit featuring as decidedly nastier since then. bleary eyed battlers came many plasma guns as He got the first turn and lots together once more. possible and Havocs of small units with more First up was the quiz, which blistering with lascannons. plasma than you can shake had been organised almost Throw in a Dreadnought, a a stick at blew great hole in as well as the rest of the Predator, and a large unit of my army as the amount of tournament. Several players Bloodletters, and I knew I’d terrain on the table could missed out, as they weren’t have my work cut out. My have been covered with a told when the quiz would be boys really stood their postage stamp. I, in return, taking place. 20 minutes ground well and he was couldn’t even scratch a piece later and I’d gone down the made to hack his way slowly of power armour plating, let tables once again. Unlike through my lines. Also he got alone kill a marine! Richard, who after a stonking increasingly frustrated as my Turn two was a carbon copy performance in his second Destroyer Lord kept getting of turn one, then on turn game, found himself on table back up. It’s a pity he three his HQ squad hit my “one”. couldn’t inspire any of his lines with power weapons Back on my table, I faced fellows to do the same as my everywhere. Needless to say Mark from the Oxford Club. force slowly dwindled. The I phased out on turn four, This guy was great. A real game ended on a huge high just scrapping enough points enthusiast. He was fielding though as my flayed ones’ out to avoid the most Black Templars, yep more took on his Bloodletters in humiliating of defeats. marines! Luck was much close combat, wiping them Else where Richard was more of a friend as gauss out without taking a single fairing much better as his weapons destroyed one wound in return. Their at least I didn’t phase Tau destroyed everything in Land Raider and Mark consolidation move took sight (so much so that the managed to immobilise his them within reach of the out! objective as the game ended The Newsletter Page 5

giving me yet another almost Now that Move and fire ordnance has graced the hallowed ground of the 40K battle field, I felt it draw. was my duty to pass on this little piece of nostalgia that was E-mailed to me recently. Enjoy! On Richard’s table however, all was not well, as he found THE AMAZING HISTORY OF THE MILITARY TUBA. himself having the game of The tuba was once the foremost weapon in any arsenal. Innocent but deadly the six valve tuba nightmares, as his opponent could deliver a range of ordnance making it a fearsome weapon in the wrong hands. turned out to be “one of those” and his weekend was The six valve (an upgrade from the earlier three valve) can be used as a man portable (known as forced to finish on a the sousaphone) or towed in the artillery role. It replaced the older three valve which could only disappointing low. As his Tau be used in the static role. once again forgot their fire The tuba was banned under the general Orchestra non-proliferation treaty of 1904. Whilst illegal drill and were pounded into to own an unmodified unit many are known to be in private hands that have been modified to fire the dirt. only small calibre rounds (sub .22) suitable for hunting rats and rabbits. There has been anxiety As the weekend drew to a expressed that these sub calibre tubas could be reinstated to take the original ordnance but the close I was amazed to absence of anyone with the capacity to recreate it makes this wholly unlikely. discover that there had been Of the available ordnance before the treaty was signed perhaps the most destructive was the no Sportsmanship award centre fire squash head 3 pound artillery round. Known as the "Be Flat" this destructive hollow organised. The other round was designed for use against fortified positions and was later upgraded by using depleted presentations were made harmonium as an infill for greater penetration. In the mortar configuration it was able to fire the and despite loosing all four short range "De-miner" as an anti tunnelling round but the brass bands holding the casing in of my games I somehow place would often part making it as dangerous to fire as to receive. In its shoulder high managed to avoid the configuration the 2.2 rocket propelled grenade was not a winner as operators invariably wooden spoon. developed the "Tuba cringe" when the guide stick jammed in the rail between the 5th and 6th So at the end of an vent valves. exhausting weekend, I’d got All in all although a most fearsome weapon, armies that deployed it were glad to have it to play four great games and withdrawn and it has now been reduced to a footnote in weaponry history. thoroughly enjoyed myself. Please assure the minister that none are now held by the arsenal and that all ordnance was I’m really glad I entered destroyed in 1906. Starsmash this year, as it was a great way of getting tournaments, the team their socks up! You’ll have to Dave Offen-James my army modelled and behind it seem to have ask Richard how the final Other Muppet. painted in a relatively short become lack lustre and points were scored as I P.S. Close combat Necron time. Unfortunately complacent. Will I be fighting couldn’t make head nor tail armies work……………..Badly! Starsmash itself was a bit of in Starsmash Seven? Well, to of it, but that’s nothing a disappointment. After five be honest, only if it’s filled unusual! previous Starsmash with Muppets, or if Spiky pull Next up ASMOH 06!!!!!!!!!!

I TS NOT DAM BUSTERS!!! A VERY QUICK GAMESDAY 2005 REVIEW But I don’t think anyone headed up The Lake of Gamesday was believed us. This year’s Kadrin-ril team consisting of very much a Gamesday was held in the himself, the Marks Freeth success, even if NEC for the first time and and Waple, John Barter, this muppet spread out amongst three Jamie Morton, Little Nik, and couldn’t get to fairly big halls. Andy Driver. certain toys In the Arena, Dave OJ Whilst in the Pavilion myself, before they were Ruth, Nathan (don’t mention sold out (the lentils) White, Nick Jenkin Forum was The Gyrocoptor Landing Zone and the Pintos (all three of extremely them) were on the GCN busy). stand, talking about the club Anyway, display and thanks to the I’ll be absence of one demo game, back using one of the tables to there give out loads of club flyers next year! and SMS Newsletters! Richard Most of the day seemed to Kerry be a bit of blur, although I Castalain did managed to obtain a Muppet Forgeworld Krootbird which Oh, and was described by various nobody people as just wrong. managed Hard work this Gamesday However compared to earlier to bust stuff, standing around talking Third Place in this year’s Golden Daemons went to this years at the NIA this year’s to gamers... the dam. beautiful eldar Titan Page 6 Issue 24, Winter 2006

TURN UP THE HEAT! 2005 WARHAMMER 40000 GRAND TOURNAMENT HEAT 2

This year due to my an interesting experience. As involvement in a certain per normal, I woke up at silly other GCN/GW event o’clock to bomb up to (mentioned elsewhere in this Warhammer World. Arriving Newsletter) the very kind Mr in good time I caught up with Sharp asked me if there was a couple of friendly faces any events at Warhammer and left my army on table Back in the deep depths of World I fancied going to. twelve before proceeding to time, inspired by ‘the Pinto’, I Umm I thought… the doughnuts. Before the built an army for the sole So that was that, I was going first game we had the purpose of taking part in the up to the GT at long last! knowledge test, a frantic infamous Grand Unsurprisingly my mean three minute multiple choice Tournament. Unfortunately ‘Army of Death’ that I had quiz, a quiz that most people due to factors beyond my been building for Fourth either started as soon as control (such as getting Edition wasn’t ready so it they got the questions or (in married and having a was back to the little blue my case) finished after time Paul Saunders, like a bunny fantastic honeymoon) and guys! My Tau would be was called. taking a bit longer than I rabbit caught in the Hammerhead getting their second outing to Anyway, the formalities out headlights thought to paint my army Nottingham and their first GT of the way it was on to the (yep, the Tau were started experience! first game against Paul way back in 2003) it didn’t Saunders’ Space Wolves, First Naval Cadre had happen. Before the GT itself, my Tau opened their GT account with army list had received a little playing omega level Secure a 20-0 Victorious Slaughter. tuning. By sheer luck, my & Control. Omega level as it Pathfinder list had managed happens made life a little After lunch, my next a very respectable third at interesting for my opponent was Zeb, a fellow Open War in 2004 however mechanised Tau army, with a very shooty Tyranid having used that in a few however most of Paul’s army. The mission this time games since then, I knew puppies had transports or was omega Cleanse which I there was a bit more that were in dreadnoughts. Once suspect Zeb wasn’t too keen could be done to improve the both Hammerheads arrived on as he suggested playing it list. The first casualty was on turn two those vehicles at gamma level. Anyway, on one of the Pathfinder weren’t a problem, however to the table went three squads, replaced with more Paul did still have a unit of Zoanthropes, a few Tyranid battlesuits (Crisis and Wolf Scouts who insisted on Warriors, and lots of gaunts; Broadsides). This worked OK charging my Crisis suits. versus twelve Kroot, eight at Starsmash although the In fairness to Paul, this is Pathfinders and six Stealth normal problems with the probably the nicest unit of Suits in the blue corner. Broadsides being eaten in Wolf Scouts I’ve ever come I took the first turn and the first round of combat across. No power weapons proceeded to shoot anything occurred again. In the end, I and no meltaguns!!! It took a in the open! Which wasn’t settled on two units of Fire couple of rounds, but actually that much as Zeb Warriors, two Hammerheads, eventually the Crisis suits effectively had two lines of some Kroot and Stealth hammered them into the area terrain to hide behind. Suits, and a total of four ground. Apart from a very Only when the nids came out The aftermath of the first game Crisis suits. dead Kroot unit, my into the open a few turns The first day of the GT was causalities were lite and the later did my shooting really started to work. However, I couldn’t hurt either or his Carnifaxes or the Hive Tyrant who was protected by lots of Tyrant Guard. In the end, one unit of Fire Warriors in a Devilfish won me the game by getting into Zeb’s quarter and then not getting killed by a Zoanthrope. A very close game but in the end a Solid Victory (13-7) to me. Game three and I had moved back to table twelve… Considering the size of the hall Brian Anderson, the GW The Newsletter Page 7

Events Manager was making where I could. To be honest 2005 Warhammer 40000 Grand Tournament Muppet Results rude comments about me this was probably the most liking that corner. Anyway, fun game I had all weekend Player Army Heat Rank Points game three saw my first and in the end Shaw only gamma mission of the gained a Solid Victory Mike Lock Blood Angels 1 17 149 weekend, another Secure & against me. Control, this time against After the army judging was Kevin Bacon Emperor’s Children 1 18 148 Alan Bligh’s standard ‘no finished (in which David Richard Kerry Tau 2 28 143 trait’ Space Marines. Robotham’s army was one of Alan might not have had any the ‘chosen’), it was time for Les Fulbrook Witch Hunters 2 77 125 chapter traits, but he did game five on table fourteen, have a lot of missile against Mike Street’s Dave Robotham Space Marines 2 98 115 launchers (and more than a Necrons (glup). few lascannons) and a big My Tau had only faced the Roger Winter World Eaters 2 123 99 mean terminator HQ squad metal menace once before which he held in reserve. and suffice to say, Nick Paul Jenkins Imperial Guard 2 133 80 Anyway, with all of those Jenkin won without the missile launchers Monolith. Of all the armies threatening my we could face, Necrons were Hammerheads this proved to the one we feared. be an extremely tactical game. Unfortunately the Mike’s Necron army followed Kroot sent to take out Alan’s the fairly standard Necron Devastator squad didn’t last pattern of lots of Warriors, too long and one scout with Destroyers, one Monolith etc another missile launcher etc. In addition to that he refused to die until the end also had a big unit of of the game (and no, I do not Immortals with lots of AP4 consider a markerlight weaponry. The mission was guided railgun shot to be gamma level cleanse and Mike chose to take the first overkill). turn. I knew I’d be hard By the end of the game the pressed to make him phase actually causalities were lite out so the aim was to score on both sides but Alan had as many victory points as dished out the most damage. possible and grab table managed to remove a few However, I had two of the One army to go. Shaw quarters on the last turn. Warlocks before Gary could Wright’s Space Marines objectives to Alan’s one (with This plan was fine until turn cast Fortune on them. In the another uncontested) so three when Mike’s Monolith end, that another Solid Victory was in deep struck right into the Seer the bag! middle of the board and Council Day two and things were those Immortals came was looking reasonably pouring out of it, and into my reduced to comfortable. To qualify for army. just the five the GT Finals in March I On the my last turn it was all farseers, needed to finish in the top or nothing. The although 52 overall and for game four Hammerheads missed the the Stealth I was on table nine, the table Monolith, but in the centre of Suits directly behind table twelve. the battlefield, a unit of Fire missing This time Shaw Wright’s Warriors and my remaining them (18 Space Marines stood ready, Crisis suits wiped out the shots, two or in the case of the three Immortals and secured me a hits, no Land Speeder Tornado’s really close Solid Victory. wounds) probably floated. The game would be So onto the last game of the helped. gamma level Take & Hold. day and back to table twelve, With me Perhaps I was flagging a bit and Dark Eldar, which stupidly from the terrible night’s quickly got swapped to table throwing my Fire Warriors A green drop pod sleep, but my deployment eleven and Ulthwe. At this against the Seers and a was to say the least, risky. point I had probably already lucky shot taking out a And when Shaw got the first qualified so this game was a Hammerhead, Gary got a turn and had a spectacular bit more relaxed, which is Solid Victory but I didn’t care, round of shooting, I was fully probably why I lost. Gary had th punished for it and promptly a large 25 man strong Seer I had qualified in 28 place. saw several units melt away. Council and we where All in all an interesting experience if only to see how The rest of the battle playing omega level Seek & tuned some of the armies became a holding action with Destroy. were. Next up in March, oh, Shaw trying to chase me Lucky I got first turn and down and me trying to using the Pathfinders and that would be the finals then. harvest easy victory points Stealth Suits together Richard Kerry Blue Muppet Page 8 Issue 24, Winter 2006

THE BATTLE FOR SOLYPSIS A GCN CAMPAIGN WEEKEND

The world of Solypsis has fallen from the Emperor’s light. Once this world bore witness to the greatest miracles in the sector. Once this world heralded a new beginning for mankind in this region of space. Once, a Saint touched this world… It was in the later part of M41 at a time when the fate of the crusade hung in the balance, that an already precarious situation worsened. Macaroth had decided to risk the overstretched crusade as he had already committed the majority of his forces to a gamble, the dangers of which he knew well. It was said that some of the Warmaster’s advisors openly wept as the news of Solypsis reached Macaroth’s command centre. The planet had been supplying vast amounts resources to the crusade fleets and this threatened the already overstretched supply lines. The Warmaster had no choice but to send all the reserves within striking distance to relieve the planet of the horror that had befallen it. They obviously had Way back in May and June no real knowledge of what was taking place on Solypsis. It was only after the hastily dispatched this year, myself, Nathan forces arrived that they found out how far the crisis had deepened.’ White (HERETIC!!!), and Nick Appleby from Games And so began the first ever seven players Workshop put together the Gaming Club Network and would be player pack for the first ever Dark Stars campaign fighting over GW/GCN Campaign weekend on the 26th seven Weekend held at November 2005 at different Warhammer World. Six Warhammer World. battlezones months later, this is what The plan was devilishly on Solypsis, actually happened... simple. We were running a ranging from narrative based campaign the Solia- set on a supply world at the Alpha backend of the Sabbat Spaceport up Worlds Crusade (as by the stage, chronicled by Dan Abnett in down to the the Gaunt’s Ghosts books). Capital City at the other On the world of Solypsis, the Part of the event’s admin team: Nick Appleby, Mike end of the Sharp and Matt Tennatt (from Oxford), and Ruth planet’s Governor, Gideon, hall. With had fallen in with some bad the venue appropriately had a different scenario people and started to kitted out with lots of Mike inflicted upon it. In the develop a few psychic Sharp’s cityfight scenery Loyalist Stronghold powers of his own. With (including no less than 42 battlezone, Imperial forces Chaos forces reinforcing a bunkers) and armed with a attempted to sally forth from once loyal world, the Ordos small mountain of mission the city to sabotage the of the Inquisition had to step briefings we were ready. infernal devices threatening in. Combined with In contrast with previous to overload the cities shields Warmaster Macaroth’s (only to be foiled by Borzon’s strategic reserves, these Dark Stars campaign weekend and events such as Besiegers), whilst in the Imperial forces would be Capital and Spaceport Ordo Muppetus: Dave Driver, the Grand Tournament, we tasked with retaking the Imperial forces tried to Sid, The Silver Fox, Mark Waple, planet. decided early on that Sabbat Mark Freeth, Dave McCoy and should include lots of assault the strongest held Team Captain Will Platten (from This is where our weekend different game formats and locations (playing Bunker Gobstyks) began. 14 teams of up to scenarios. First up on the Assault and Strongpoint Saturday morning was a Attack). simple Recon mission. A nice By the end of the first day simple 400 point doubles the energy shield protecting recon mission. This got the Coventus had collapsed and players talking to each and Chaos forces had managed together with the following to claw back the initiative combat patrol mission lost after the first two games. started the Imperial advance Overall Gideon and An’ggrath into the Solypsis battlezones. the unbound (aka Dave the After the apparent successes Daemon), where happy of the first two rounds, bunnies. Things did not look Saturday afternoon would good for the Imperium, even see the tide turn back in less so when the Blood Gideon’s favour. From now Letters, one of the Chaos on virtually every battlezone teams, won the most The Newsletter Page 9

was not in Muppetus vain as the where Greater being used Daemon by finally suc- Borzon’s cumbed to Besiegers the as Loxalt writhing food, some firepower. zealots Oh, and allied to Moriarty the Order barely of the escaped Pious his would Cross be captors, captured The Hall on the Sunday. In the foreground Matt the heretic Tennatt is facing White Scars in a Breakout mission! only to be summarily Governor powerful event card in the himself! Will’s Inquisitor faces Ben executed by the duty Smith’s “Dave the Demon” pack from the quiz. commissar. At the end of the day, the The first game of Sunday So with almost all the games Imperium had won, but only was another big one, 1900 done, the good guys had just. Three of the top four points! Surrounded in the almost caught back up with teams where all part of the manufactorums, both the Conclave of Gideon, and the the bad guys again. The final results for the Solypsis Relief Force and Everything would rest on the Loyalist Stronghold, Votiast’s Vengeance teams Coventus, had been lost to weekend, a narrow Imperial final doubles game of the Win! had to breakout of a Chaos weekend. Although all trap! Whilst in the deepest of the battlezones desert outside the Landing were still hotly Fields, Ordo Muppetus had contested, the set a trap of their own and Landing Fields in ambushed the Faithful particular saw a bit of Sinners (annihilating almost a grudge match as the all of them). Tempus Fugitives and By this point in the weekend, their all Royal An’ggrath the Unbound Volphone regiment (Dave) was getting a bit of a rolled over the Blood reputation as a daemon with Pact players of the anger management issues. Truthseers, breaching In round five he had all but the Chaos command wiped out an army of centres and capturing Imperial Fists all by himself. the zone. In round six, whilst Peter With that war raging, Cooke’s Dark Eldar went off the south of the to pickup Captain Moriarty, capital saw another ‘Dave’ was back to his old Imperial team, tricks in the manufactorum. Emperor’s Pride, score Climbing onto the one of the few team the Dark Gods. Of remaining skyscraper, An’ggrath massacres of the weekend battlezones, four were still proceeded to jump down against the Daemonkin, contested and just two through a hail of assault securing the second decisive where firmly controlled by cannon fire straight into a win for the good guys! the Imperium. All in all, an unit of Space Marine However in the north of the extremely close result. The Team Results Terminators belonging to the capital things where getting Storm Dragons. They didn’t Richard Kerry Bad guys: interesting. Whilst the Paladin of Titan last long but their sacrifice supporting units of Ordo The Blood Letters (266, 1st) Gideon's Hand (264, 2nd) Borzons Beseigers (260, 4th) ‘After the battle of Solypsis, the forces belonging to the Conclave withdrew from the planet at Children of Solypsis (237, 9th) some unseen command. During the withdrawal, billions of civilians died as the heretics The Faithful Sinners (223, 10th) exacted their vengeance upon them and their cities. Although counted as an Imperial victory The Daemonkin (207, 12th) by some, those who had witnessed the scenes on Solypsis knew better. Having crippled the The Truthseers (199, 13th) manufactorums and spaceport, the forces of Chaos had destroyed this planet’s ability to Good guys: support the larger war effort. Ordo Muppetus (262, 3rd) Worse still, those reserves applied to the campaign where forced to continue on the planet at Strike Force Spiky (250, 5th) the order of the Inquisition. Infestations of Hrud plagued Solypsis for many years to come and Moriartys Maulers (248, 6th) in time Warmaster Macaroth would mark the Governor’s betrayal as the greatest of blows. Emperor's Pride (245, 7th) Gideon himself was captured by the Order of the Pious Cross at the Battle of Mawson in the Tempus Fugitives (240, 8th) Capital City. It is rumoured that Inquisitor Vilhiem, Martyr of Conventus, delivered the traitor to Voriast's Vengeance (222, 11th) Lord Thoth himself. No record was made of the Governor’s ultimate fate.’ Solypsis Refief Force (130, 14th) -from The Warmaster’s Flank: A Turning Point? Page 10 Issue 24, Winter 2006

THE SONS OF GOLGOTHA A STEP BY STEP PAINTING GUIDE

Originally named the Sons of Lysanios, the chapter was renamed the Sons the Golgotha in memory of the most costly and heroic battle in their history. Two Battle Companies led by Chapter Master Praxis fought against a rebel army numbering almost four hundred thousand along the mountainous coast of the southern continent on the planet Theodotus. Praxis and his Space Marines were betrayed by the remaining loyalists and were wiped out. Golgotha: A place or However through their stubborn defence over the course of nineteen days, all desire to fight was occasion of great suffering. It beaten out of the rebels and only one in three of them was left able to fight. is also another name for They had paid in blood for every step they took forwards and by the end they had no will to carry Calvary [The place of the on. Skull], the hill outside And so it was when the Third Company finally arrived to reinforce Praxis, they found to their Jerusalem where Jesus was amazement that the local population had named the site of that final battle, Calvary, or “The crucified. Place of the Skull”. Translated into high gothic this became Golgotha.

Sometime before the 2005 processes, and someone did Step 2. Grand Tournament… ask for a tutorial, so I Any part of the model that Over Sunday I sat and thought I'd go into it step by will end up black I paint painted a few Space Marines step. chaos black. I do this right and decided, as I went to Firstly, I have already noticed now so I can paint without take some photos of the I missed the sergeant’s hand fear of getting black on until halfway through, it is all already painted areas. Also sorted though. because I paint fully Step 1 assembled miniatures I can Also these chaps are for the get into all the hard parts gaming table so I have not gone to town on the without worrying. highlights, the most being on Step 3. the yellow. And even then Next, basecoat any part of the yellow only has so many the model that is going to be because of the style I paint yellow in Fiery Orange. The it. If you want a quicker paint is watered down, but method you can just use not a huge amount, enough Bleached Bone or Elf Flesh, to ease the flow onto the give it one Skull White figure, but still leave a good highlight and hit it with the coverage. I do not have time Yellow Ink. to paint multiple layers of the Step 2 Step 1. same colour... I assembled and cleaned the Step 4 models fully and primed I then paint all areas that will them white (please pretend be red in Blood Red using the black is not there yet... the same levels of watering those two models were down as above. started a few weeks ago). I Step 5 always try to get a really good undercoat, to make the Then mixing Fiery Orange base colours really easy to and Skull White to about apply. 50/50 (a nice peach colour) and I apply that to all the

Step 3 Step 4 The Newsletter Page 11

Step 5 Step 7

Step 6 Step 8

yellow areas leaving Blazing the recesses of the red Orange in the recesses. armour plates. This is a very Step 9 Step 6 different way to how I use the yellow ink. I’m very I then add more Skull White careful to make sure no to my "peach" mix and large flat red plates collect highlight with it in broad unwanted pools of ink. stroke across the obvious points of the armour - the Step 10 arms, shoulder pads, knees To highlight the red I create a and lower legs. 50/50 mix of Blood Red and Step 7 Fiery Orange, and apply this to the most obvious plates Finally I use a pure Skull as detailed in previous steps. White final highlight on all I then finish that of with a the previous edges. This pure Fiery Orange highlight. does look quite harsh, but it is needed for the next step. You will also notice that the black on these figures has Step 10 Step 8 warn down as the pictures go This is where the Yellow on, I use the black areas to comes together. I liberally hold the figures and make apply a Yellow Ink covering sure I will have a steady all the “peach" armour hand, so they wear down, plates. It is very shiny at this but it is not a problem and point, but when I varnish it can just be touched up when that will dull down very I finish of the black. nicely. I also base coat the Step 11 helmets and purity seal heads in Regal Blue. With all the base colours finished, we will now look at Step 9. the details and weapons. I Then mix up a dark red ink will start with the helmets. Blue onto the Regal Blue that is 75/25 Brown Ink and Firstly I paint Ultramarine Red Ink and apply this into making sure to leave the darker blue in the recesses. I “The Sons of Golgotha are fiercely devoted to their heraldry, then add couple of dots of their ancestors and past. It is deemed extremely cowardly to Skull White and highlight hide your colours and they are always, without exception, worn with that blending the two with pride. When battle is met, the enemy will always know colours together with water who it is that has come to kill them… this army represents the and... saliva. core of the Third Battle Company. The Third Company has seen I then add a 50/50 mix of constant action moving from across countless war zones. As a Skull White and Ultramarine result they are seriously under-strength; however this just Blue and bled that through makes fight harder.” paying particular attention to Page 12 Issue 24, Winter 2006

Step 11

the brow, eye sockets and Step 15 Step 12 mouth piece (the most focal Now I have to start with the points of a marine helmet). little details focusing on the Adding even more Skull symbols, purity seals, bases White to my mix and I apply and eyes. even lighter highlights blended through. Finally, I The symbols are painted on use pure Space Wolf Grey to using very watered down just make sure the detail is Skull White. I slowly build up the shape and coverage, good. making sure to wait for the Step 12 layers to dry, to get the Next, I touched up all the smoothest finish possible. I black areas that had become do not use decals for the worn and painted the first squad markings as I find that highlight onto the gun without decal softener they casing. For almost all black Step 13 will not work over a curved areas in the entire army I use shoulder pad. the same 3 step process as Step 16 it is clean and not over the top, a nice subdued effect Strangely, the purity seals that does not stand out too have the most highlights on any part of the figure. I work much. It is nice and neutral. through the following colours The first highlight is a 50/50 to build the highlights: mix of Chaos Black and Shadow Grey. This is painted Black, Scorched Brown, onto the most prominent Bestial Brown, Snakebite plates on the guns and chest Leather, Bubonic Brown and eagles. I make the lines here finally Bleached Bone. Step 14 pretty large, as I have one Step 17 more highlight step to go The eyes.... very easy this. after this. Starting with the regal blue Step 13 base colour, I paint a stripe At this step I finish the black of Blood Red at the front of highlighting by just jumping each eye, then a smaller straight to Shadow Grey and stripe of Fiery Orange and painting lie highlights onto finish them with a dot of the previous highlighted skull white at the back of the lines from step 12. eye. I have also painted anything Step 18 that will be metallic in The bases… I wanted a base Step 15 Boltgun Metal. that looked good, but in no way at all detracted from the Step 14 tri-colour scheme of the To finish off the metal a marines, so a nice dull urban watered down Black Ink is grey and rust would be in applied over the entire order, and it helps make the surface, and when that is bright marines look even dry, the metal areas are better. given a light drybush of I glue sand to the base using Chainmail Silver. PVA glue and then paint it The Newsletter Page 13

Step 17 Step 18

Honour Your Wargear Step 19 Never Despair Aspire to Glory Take Pride in Your Colours

roman numerals, and the chapter badges (I cut them out along the design so it curves over the pad and does not just crease up). with Black Ink while the PVA On the company champion is still drying (I can be pad I have to paint the cross Too shiny!!! impatient at times...). When on as the decal will not fit. that is dry I drybrush the Step 20 base up through the Because you can see how following colours: shiny the Yellow Ink has Codex Grey, Fortress Grey, made the armour. I am then 50/50 mix Fortress Grey & ready to dull coat the squad. Skull White, 23/75 mix Fortress Grey & Skull White, And after that as dried I have Skull White. the four models finished… Then I paint a Chestnut Ink Dave Robotham in random patches on each Red & Yellow Muppet base. Finally painting the rim Step 20 - Testors Dullcoat Chaos Black. applied, finished! Step 19 The Sergeants Face... Starting with a base colour of Flesh with the tiniest amount of Ultramarine Blue added. I then give it a Brown Ink. I reapplied a Dwarf Flesh highlight then an Elf Flesh highlight then added Skull White to the Elf Flesh, and finally to pick out the fine detail I use pure Skull White. I paint a Chaos Black stripe into the eye socket then a smaller Skull White stripe followed by a Chaos Black dot in the centre of the eye. I then apply any decals I will be using, almost always the Page 14 Issue 24, Winter 2006

THE TALE OF ONE GAMER P ART DEUX

So, what was the plan then if I’ve managed to remember OTHER ARMIES and what have I achieved? how to use my camera. DURING 2006 PART 1: EXPAND Everything else is built and undercoated. Daemonhunters EXISTING ARMIES TO The Greater Daemon was a Still want to get the last Grey 2,000 POINTS. right royal pain in the &£^% Knights done up plus I’m Necrons – Check. Actually to build but he’s done and I itching to see the new Plans are fantastic things. achieved this one! need to attack him with Imperial Guard regiment (I believe it’s the Vostroyans) They give you a sense of Witch Hunters – Check, green stuff to fill some gaps purpose and a measuring before attempting to paint as they are, allegedly based although it took a bit longer on Tsarist Russian troops. stick to judge how everything when I had to re-jig the army him. is going. Since I’ve named all my Grey for the Sabbat Weekend. My mini-plan for the “TS” is Knights using Russian these And they never survive Daemonhunters – Nope, the to paint up the Predator and guys should fit straight in. contact with the enemy. extended time for the Witch Greater Daemon as that will Rumour has it (well, Warseer Especially my plans. Sheesh. Hunters re-jig cost me the give me a legal 1,000 point says) that April 2006 is a Last time we met was in the time needed to get the last list, and then go play. likely release date so expect Summer. At that time I had a eight Grey Knights in power I’ve played some Combat to see me queuing! plan to get my existing armour done. New Plan for Patrol games with this army Witch Hunters armies up to 2,000 points them? Yep, see a bit later on. and they did not fare well! and then when the Lost two and drew one Nothing new planned just Newsletter came out (purely ‘cos Little Nik’s power some final varnishing. in November I’d fist dude failed to kill my last Necrons start my new army marine on the last turn of the Nothing new planned but, if building madness so game). they go to the Dark Stars that three months Chaos Army Two Campaign in May 2006, later 1,500 points of there could be some new Thousand Sons All the bits should be in place at Christmas providing Santa units added if Richard would be ready and decides on his 1,900 point so on. brings me all those lovely shiny things that I’ve asked madness again! (ed – more Well that ain’t going than likely) Only kidding Rich for! to happen! Partly – 1,900 was great! because the What are they? Let’s just say Imperial Guard November they charge everything, hit it newsletter is the with axes and tend to shout Only start when I’ve finished one you are about blood a lot. Do you all three Chaos armies and currently holding in really need any more clues? the Tomb Kings. I do like the your hands (ed – in Planned for completion new Forgeworld respirator January) and That looks strangely like a Rubic Marine... April/May, depending upon heads and backpacks and secondly because the Thousand Sons. could be tempted… So there you have it, yet Work still haven’t cottoned PART 2: NEW 1,500 Chaos Army Three on to this idea that I actually another plan that has prefer doing my hobby rather POINT CHAOS ARMY Originally planned for July adapted to its environment than some more SQL thanks EVERY 3 MONTHS. 2006 this one has been and, next time, it’ll probably moved to be Army Four now. have changed again. On the very much. Thousand Sons I’ve decided that my Tomb plus side at least the Still on schedule for January/ Kings should be painted up Thousand Sons should be to 2,000 points and my February. I’ve managed to completed by then! paint two full nine man target is to play in Regarding Thousand Sons squads and Retribution at the end of I’ll see you in the next Newsletter; if all goes to plan nine Screamers. Somewhere October 2006. you should find some photos then I’ll have my Thousand So this Chaos army has now Sons completed and a full moved out to November/ 1,500 battle report done. For reference the 1,500 point “TS” army list will consists of: December And I mean a full one. With Greater Daemon of Tzeentch completion.Maybe. photos and before and afters 9 Thousand Sons w/Free Sorceror (Bolt of Change / Power Fist) Chaos Army Four and all that jazz. Pretty much 9 Thousand Sons w/Free Sorceror (Daemon Chains) This one has been shelved. like White Dwarf. Gone. I had no real bits for it Nick Jenkin 9 Flamers and, quite frankly, I’ve got Dusty Muppet 9 Screamers too much Imperial Guard 1 Predator w/TL Lascannon and Heavy Bolter side sponsons stuff waiting to be painted to 1 Defiler w/Indirect Fire be worrying about an army that doesn’t exist yet. 1 Dreadnought w/TL Lascannon and Missile Launcher The Newsletter Page 15

DIARY OF A ZEALOT A ND THE CAPTURE OF THE HERETIC GIDEON

As I sit here and write I know that tomorrow I will die. Tomorrow mercy was not an option. we will cleanse the world of Solypsis. That Traitor, Gideon, will On the outskirts of the city be captured or killed or, better still, both. the Zealots prepared to give We have been chosen by the Emperor. thanks to the Emperor for It is our duty. We will die for our Emperor. Solypsis will be freed. watching over them. Soon they would be in the City - Last entry from the diary of a Zealot, Order of the Pious Cross. itself. A city that was said to be the hiding place of Gideon Day One position. himself. Boltgun shells ripped In the rain, and under fire, through the unprotected the realization slowly Day Seven flesh of the Zealots as they dawned. The Zealots had There was Gideon. Hiding in tried to charge the bunker sacrificed themselves in the ruins of the ancient across the open ground. spectacular fashion to allow chapel. The Zealots screamed their banshee wail Blood droplets filled the air this unit of Battle Sisters to This must not be allowed to turning the rain the same outflank their position. All as they prepared to hurl happen! colour as the rivers flowing those lives thrown away but themselves at the marines across the surface of the victory was no longer with guarding their prize. The Zealot commander planet. the traitors. Suddenly the noise of an suddenly pointed at one of the Zealots and then at The Traitor Guard stared in Day Five engine filled the air and they were forced to step aside as Gideon. She knew what to horror as they hunkered The Chaos marines leapt out a Chimera raced passed. It do. She raised her lasgun down in their bunker. The of their Rhino transport and screeched to a halt. The rear and slowly took aim. All Zealots were still coming. poured hot lead into the door was thrown open and around her the Zealots Death Guard marines and Battle Sisters. All but a the Storm Troopers from the protected her by throwing Salamander tanks were handful of the Sisters died Skye Wolverines leapt out, themselves at the Chaos pouring everything they had immediately. Marines who were trying to into these girls and they their hellguns blazing. As they walked slowly cut her down. In the midst of were being cut to ribbons but The Marines were cut down through the bodies, shooting the chaos all around her the still they came on. by the sheer ferocity of the a single shot into the head of single Zealot took aim and attack but more were Finally they saw the plasma each one, the marines were fired. coming. The Zealots watched gunner, the last of her shocked to hear a sudden as the Storm Troopers The world stopped. Slowly squad, raise the gun in blood banshee wail fill the air. They captured Gideon but could the trail of light left her gun drenched hands and aim at stared at one another unable they hold him under the and arced across the the Salamander. She fired to pinpoint the source of the withering fire of the Chaos battlefield. Suddenly it struck but without her full sound. All around them the Space Marines and their Gideon, spinning him concentration the wretched ambush by the Sisters on clockwise. He fell. The Zealot Traitor Guard allies? woman was killed by her own their column continued but smiled. Around her the firing gun as the plasma their focus was now on a In the ruins the Storm stopped as the Chaos overheated, consuming her large group of women Troopers came under Marines realised that their in a ball of fiery death. Her running towards them. increasing fire from all sides commander was down. They screams of rage echoed and with sickening regularity They were like nothing they’d fell back, away from these around the inside of the they began to die. Screams seen before. Half-naked, mad women. bunker for what seemed like filled the air, together with streaked in blood and armed hours but surely could not the moans of the wounded. The Zealot walked over to with a dizzying array of have been more than a few As the Zealots reached the the prone Traitor. He looked whirling close combat seconds. ruin they saw Gideon up at her through pain-filled weapons these women were suddenly make a break for eyes as the lasgun blast tore As the Guard peered out they upon them before they could freedom. If he made it to at his nerve endings. realised that they were alone ready themselves. now. The Death Guard were safety then the sacrifice of “Who are you?” he asked all but wiped out and the Power armour was cut the Wolverines would be in through clenched teeth. Sisters had vanished. They through like a hot knife vain. “We are the servants of the through butter. Bone may as cheered! Victory was theirs. The Zealots now came under Emperor. We are the Order of well not have existed for all fire as the last of the Storm the Pious Cross.” She bent Suddenly boltgun shells the resistance it put up, Troopers perished. In the down and dragged him to his started raining down on their shattering upon the impact confusion it was very likely feet. He screamed in pain. bunker from the side. But of the huge teeth of the that Gideon would escape. “And you are ours now.” that was impossible. Nobody Eviscerators. could have crossed the open ground with all that firepower In seconds it was all over. Whilst the Battle of Mawson was the defining moment of the covering it. They risked a The women now took it upon Order of the Pious Cross we must never forget the huge sacri- look and were horrified to themselves to execute any fice made by elements of the Skye Wolverines. It is in their survivors just as the Chaos see some Battle Sisters honour that we dedicate this plaque here at our Shrine. marines had done minutes streaming over the hill, For the Emperor! bearing down on their before. Here on Solypsis - Inquisitor Von Hell-Vink Page 16 Issue 24, Winter 2006

THE ART OF WAR M UPPET EDITION

but your first task is to figure with only one trick up their nothing left at the end of the out what’s good against sleeve is totally stuffed if game. This is great in theory, what. they can’t pull it off. but if your opponent is playing to win, it’s likely to be First rule, know yourself. See SCENARIOS that slightly tattered Codex quite difficult. They’ll do sitting in your gaming bag, See those five standard annoying things like hide in read it! And then read it scenarios in the back of the cover so you can’t see them, Warhammer 40000 or concentrate their combat There’s a really bad rumour again. It’s amazing how rulebook, play them! And power to make it difficult to going around that I might be many people don’t realise make sure you play them at beat them. Warhammer is ok at this wargaming lark. exactly what can be done Alpha, Gamma and Omega basically a numbers game, in True, I might have won the with their own chosen army. levels. Many armies which most circumstances who league in 2002, and almost And dare to be different, it are weak in a straight fire ever can bring the most won it again last year. But as will make your opponent’s fight become scary in numbers into their favour will anyone knows, you’re only as time that bit more difficult always win. Unfortunately good as your last game, err, when he’s trying to figure particular scenarios. this means that the best way sorry, that didn’t work, I won how to beat you. Which In general terms any army to annihilate an army, piece that one. neatly follows onto... with a good deal of mobility should perform better in by piece, makes it Anyway, the idea behind this The second rule, know your scenarios and better still in impossible to massacre it in article is to give folks a bit of enemy. If want to know how omega level scenarios. And the time allowed. an idea on how to win. Yeah, to beat an opponent, don’t fear the Escalation The most important thing to I know its boring, no fun, and knowing what his army is special rule, despite the bad very unfashionable; but capable of is a really good remember is to play to the reputation it seems to have every so often we all like to start. There are three scenario. You need to be earned it can provide win and make our opponent approaches to this: read flexible enough that if opportunities for the cunning taste the bitter pill of an their army book, play against needed, you can fight a absolute and crushing their army, or best of all, player. victory points based meat grinder, or if the scenario defeat. But how do you go actually use their army. Of THE BATTLE course, most of us can never demands it, capture and about achieving this? Some people like to come to own every army in whatever deny ground by moving Since playing in a few a battlefield with a set battle system we play (although swiftly across the battlefield. tournaments over the last plan. I don’t. The first time Nick Jenkin is trying to), and Also remember, anything you few years, I’ve begun to you’re likely to see your in fairness finding enough have alive at the end of the appreciate some of the finer opponent army is likely to be time to play each different game will deny either victory points of the hobby in this when he’s deploying it, so type of army is pretty difficult points or ground to your respect, and although I can’t any fixed battle plans are so that leaves plan A, read opponent. Protect your own if proclaim to be an expert (err, going to be useless, or worse you can and don’t throw how many tournaments have about them. still could loose you the away units in hopeless I won, err that would be none I know, it doesn’t quite sit battle before you begin. That assaults unless you need to then)1 but I can share what right with a lot of people, but little word I used earlier: or it gains you somekind of little wisdom I have gleamed. the aim here is to win, and to flexibility; comes in here as win you’ll need a bit of advantage. Even that Rhino Please note is only well. Stick to any plan rigidly intelligence about the enemy which has already delivered approaching the subject on and you won’t be able to so you can figure what stuff your crack assault squad can the most general of terms. take advantage of situations of yours is going to be good possibly win you the game. There are loads of websites as they arise and you risk and forums out there with against what stuff of theirs. becoming fixated on a THE ENDGAME sound tactical advice for the Simple huh? Well, yes and particular aspect of the The final piece of advice I wargamer, particular no. This is all well and good if battle; must capture the hill, can give is to never, ever, systems, and particular you know who you’re must kill the Talos, the list give up. I have seen the most armies. Here we are looking fighting, but if you don’t, then goes on and on but all these solid players lose on the last at the general theory… you need to build in a bit of serve to do is to distract you turn because of either over flexibility. See that from winning the battle. ARMY SELECTION confidence, or just plain bad Lascannon, great against However this said I do plan luck. Often there is more to The first key to winning starts vehicles, but what if your for the end of the battle. This be learnt in losing a game before you even approach a opponent hasn’t got any? is the important bit; how are that winning it. battlefield. In both Armies flexible enough to you going to win? Warhammer and And finally, remember even if deal with any foe are often The key here is to have a few Warhammer 40000 each you are trying to win, having labelled as balanced and options. Yes, you could try army has a myriad of choices fun the still the most deemed to be less effective and capture the objective, and options, each with important thing. A bad game because of it. DON’T believe but if the game uses victory differing skills. This is great, can only be a hollow victory, this for a second. Balanced points, is there perhaps a where as a great game is still armies are usually the most Notes better way? The ideal a great game, win or lose. dangerous because they will situation of course is to win 1 OK, there was that thing Richard Kerry have more than one way to by annihilating your Major Muppet in Cardiff last year. win. Anyone fielding an army opponent and leaving The Newsletter Page 17

Welcome to the fields of St Michael. Your warriors are gathered unto you and on this day, as the sun rises, you must prove yourself worthy to claim the prize. However your path will not be easy. Four foes stand in your way. Crush them to secure that your name, and not theirs, is recorded in the legends of this place.

Sometime over the summer 12th November came Not really being too serious a (a distant time which only around surprisingly quick. Fantasy player, looking fleetingly visited 2005) two Using some boards and around the armies was quite guys called Mark had some scenery borrowed from an education. Of course mad idea about running a Richard Crane and John there was the normal, not tournament, in particular a Barter, as well as the club hugely competitive armies (I tournament for that other scenery, the many muppets think they’re called game system we play a lot there got Church Cottage Dwarves), but there was also of, Warhammer Fantasy setup in double quick time. a lot of Chaos armies out Battle. Despite waiting for a few there, and a surprising So, named after a glib players to turn up3, Ross number of dragons or similar comment from Helen Gay1, McNaughton and Nick Jenkin flying creatures. I have a Regarding Retribution 2005 did the army judging bit feeling Blair’s two warp was bought into being. before the tournament lightning canon toting rats started properly at 10:00am. may have felt a little under Rather than using the dressed for the occasion.4 standard tournament Although there were a few approach, the Marks decided familiar faces in the hall (a early on that the tournament lot of muppets and would use differing scenarios tournament regulars such as to fully test our competitors. Greg Bachelor), Regarding In keeping with the format Retribution had also drawn used for A Small Matter of in quite a few new people. Honour back in May, the For example Alex West and players would also start the Ian Scovell were both day with a smaller game (of members of the Bristol 1000 points) before Big’uns, and Rob Wyness proceeding to three big had managed to drag down games (at 2000 points a two of his colleagues from pop). the GW Community Team, plus his boss, Matt And finally, having sold the Anderson. first thirty tickets fairly swiftly, the committee Even better, our closest GCN decided to extend the event club, Spiky Club from Mark, Mark, and my laptop! (Freeth, Waple and 000135) Reading, had a very strong to 40 places using the Game One: Dawn school room in front of the representation on the day, of Engagement kitchen2 in Church Cottage. course including Matt Finch, as well as a couple of For a change, I wasn’t After a fury of activity to get hundred Skaven belonging to actually part of the the pack out and get army Rob Uter. administration team. lists in over October, the However as reserve player, my Skaven would be filling in if we ended up with a odd Notes number of players. As luck 1 Our infamous waitress would have it, I wasn’t who kindly helps out at A required so Grey Seer Klaw Small Matter Of Honour. climbed back inside his 2 Lovingly referred to as the figure case (along with the pit, as it contained the new ratling gun). players who were not doing So, after Mark Freeth had so well... briefed the players, the first 3 All locals. round was underway. A nice 4 I shouldn’t really easy 1000 point pitched comment about Blair’s battle. Skaven, he could have more By the kitchen, Rob Uter’s guns... Skaven faced a very nice, The players get to their tables... Page 18 Issue 24, Winter 2006

Part of Ian Scovell’s very pretty Bretonnians

Joining him would be Mike Ian a Victorious Slaughter Lock’s Clan Eshin Skaven, result and maximum points. Gavin Miles Chaos Lord on Dragon who earned a massacre by However, even more default because Gavin Miles impressive was Richard brand new Wood forgot to, not include one Crane’s performance against Elf army with no unit, in his 1000 point army. Ben Lambert’s really nice Wood Elves, This meant the furry ones Khornate chariot army of belonging to a actually faced 1300 points doom. The trees managed to certain Richard worth of stuff. Suitably secure Richard a solid win, Crane. Now gutted, Gavin was relegated although much to his knowing both to the pit for the second disappointment it wasn’t a players (I’ve round. league game. played both this Game Two: War!!! year) I wasn’t too Game Three: Get the surprised with This was pitched battle with Message the eventual a twist, or more precisely The third game saw another outcome, with diagonal deployment zones. twist to the standard fantasy Rob earning In the pit, Daren McAninch game. This time round, each most of the gambled his future career player had a messenger on points from that with by the table. The challenge was playing boss’s Horde of simple, escort your own Jamie Morton relearning the battle. Chaos Army. At somepoint, messenger (Warboar rules However the result from the probably about the first turn, Matt Finch/Andy Express, surfing Gutter everything seemed to go Runner or whatever) across Barnett was a bit horribly wrong for Matt of a shock. Poor the table, and stop your Anderson as his general opponent doing the same. Matt has earned decided to shed his mortal a reputation as… shell. I believe Daren earned This time round, Ian Scovell’s well not the most the Christmas shift after that knights used Daren’s Beasts of Chaos to earn their 22 successful of game. players. At A tournament points, leaving Small Matter of On table seven, Andy Scott’s poor Mr McAninch a little Honour this year all Slayer and very orange shell-shocked. he quite proudly army mowed over another Dwarf army, belonging to Whilst still in the pit, Matt walked out of the Anderson managed to earn day with the young Rich Hellsten. That earned Andy a slot on table his full tally for the day by And a dwarf on a mission, wooden spoon. But at one where he stayed for the losing against Andy Barnett’s Jamie’s Messanger Regarding Retribution, he & Goblins. With nine rest of the day. opened his account with a tournament points in the bag Richard Crane’s Tree Spirit blinding game getting onto Again, by the kitchen, Dave Matt avoided the bottom army on its display base the top table for game two. ‘Other Muppet’ Offen-James table for the last game, but was having a real ding-dong more of that later. battle against Ian Scovell’s beautiful Bretonnian army. Game Four: Retribution First Ian got the upper hand, With the results of the and then with a bit of magic, previous round, the top Dave was right in there again tables were looking rather pounding those soft interesting. On table one, hummies into the dirt. Andy Scott’s Dwarf Slayers Finally, it was down to Ian’s were up against Darren nasty main cavalry unit to Ivey’s already dead Vampire smash apart the Orcs giving Counts. I’m not sure that Darren already knew this, The Newsletter Page 19

but despite Andy Player Army Generalship Army Quiz Total Sportsmanship sitting on the top table all day, Darren’s 1 Ian Scovell Bretonians 63 15 1.4 80.4 7 Vampires were actually leading the 2 Darren Ivey Vampire Counts 61 14 4.3 79.3 7 tournament by a fairly 3 Mike Lock Clan Eshin 58 13 3.5 74.5 4 comfortable margin. 4 Andrew Scott Dwarf Slayers 61 9 3.2 73.2 6 Next to them, Ian Scovell faced Gavin 5 Rob Uter Skaven 58 12 0 70 8 Miles, who had spent the last two games 6 Greg Batchelor Chaos 56 10 2.6 68.6 4 climbing back up from 7 Craig Ivey Gobbos 52 12 2.9 66.9 3 the bottom table. This was great because 7 Guiseppe Principe Wood Elves 55 9 2.9 66.9 3 between Ian and Gavin, they had to two 9 James Rosser Bretonians 56 7 3.3 66.3 1 prettiest armies in the 10 Alex West High Elves 53 10 3.2 66.2 1 tournament. The final game of the 11 Gavin Miles Hordes of Chaos 47 15 3.7 65.7 10 day was entitled 12 Dave Morgon Chaos 50 11 2.7 63.7 6 ‘Retribution’ and was a slightly modified 13 Paul Jenkins Dwarves 48 13 1.2 62.2 6 pitched battle. 14 Mike Parker Ogre Kingdoms 49 9 3.8 61.8 2 Still in the pit, poor Matt Anderson faced 15 Mike Barnett Empire 46 10 2 58 9 another Matt, the 16 Daren McAninch Beasts of Chaos 41 12 2.9 55.9 5 “Pinto”. Now as evidenced by his 17 Toby Partridge Lizardmen 40 12 2.7 54.7 7 appearance on table 17, Mr Pinto had had a 18 Duncan Stradling Orcs & Goblins 39 12 3 54 3 bad day. His Vampire 19 Dave Offen-James Orcs 35 14 1.3 50.3 9 Counts had received number of very good 20 Ben Lambert Chaos 31 12 4.4 47.4 2 kickings. However at 21 Andrew Parker Empire 35 6 3.9 44.9 3 the end of his final game the Vamps had 22 Donny Nicholls Tomb Kings 31 10 2.9 43.9 6 gained every victory point to be gained 23 Roy Wyness Empire 32 8 3.8 43.8 9 from the battle and 24 Jamie Morton Dwarves 32 9 2.7 43.7 8 Matt Anderson looked like he’d just been hit 25 Matt Finch Chaos 30 11 1.9 42.9 9 by train.5 26 Matthew Pinto Vampire Counts 32 7 2.9 41.9 4 On the stage, Andy Scott was 27 Rich Hellsten Dwarves 26 12 2.7 40.7 4 unsuccessfully trying to engage young 28 Richard Crane Wood Elves 27 10 2.5 39.5 8 Darren’s Vampires who 29 Daniel Gibbons 25 25 8 3.1 36.1 4 mostly hid or flew behind the Slayers. In 30 James Balfe Orcs & Goblins 27 6 2.2 35.2 7 the end that game 31 Andy Barnett Orcs & Goblins 22 9 2.2 33.2 10 ended as a draw with very few casualties. 32 Ian Westmoreland Daemon Legion 22 7 1.7 30.7 2 On table two, the game 33 Phil Parker Orcs 27 0 3.2 30.2 6 was much more interesting. Ian 34 Matt Anderson Chaos 9 11 3.9 23.9 7 Scovell’s big nasty knight unit had once 35 Nick Doran High Elves 11 9 1.9 21.9 7 again steam-rolled 36 Dave Driver Dwarves 17 0 0.9 17.9 6 through an army, with Gavin’s dragon mounted By getting a full 22 points deserved Best Sportsman Chaos Lord unable to do against Giuseppe Principe’s anything other than pick off award went to Andy Barnett. Wood Elves, Mike Lock Ian’s smaller units. Ian And that was Regarding managed to secure third earned himself 19 more Retribution 2005. Methinks Notes place, whilst Gavin Miles won points, enough to steal the we’ll be back last year. 28th the Best Army award for his 5 Followed by the comment first Regarding Retribution October 2006 anyone? fantastic, if slightly “What was he doing down title away from Darren Ivey debauched, Slaanash Mortal Richard Kerry here!” from Mr Anderson. by less than a point!!! army. And lastly, a fully Ratty Muppet THE LEAGUE 20042005 THE SAD

v Final Bragging Rights 2005 (as of 23/12/2005)

a

l MUPPET d

e Player Played Won Drawn Lost Bonus Points Rating t r SOCIETY i s t es Richard Kerry 21 17 1 3 3 38 1.81 s u m u s Mark Walker 10 6 1 3 4 17 1.70 Email: [email protected] John Barter 11 9 0 2 0 18 1.64 Web: www.sadmuppets.org Yahoo Group: groups.yahoo.com/groups/ Dave McCoy 17 9 1 7 3 22 1.29 sadmuppets The league is a chance Forum: www.ikonik.net/gw for members to test Ian Westmoreland 11 6 1 4 1 14 1.27 Phone: 0118 9820489 (David) each other’s metal Nick Jenkin 30 15 4 11 3 37 1.23 (again). THE COMMITTEE • A win is worth 2 Mark Waple 17 8 1 8 2 19 1.12 Chief Muppet Richard Kerry points Dave Offen-James 28 13 1 14 7 31 1.11 Money Muppet Paul Russell • A draw is worth 1 Mark Freeth 21 8 3 10 3 22 1.05 Other Muppet David Offen-James points (any result Event Muppet Nick(ron) Jenkin where the winning Andrew Driver 21 7 2 12 5 21 1.00 Extra Muppet Mark Waple margin is 10% or Paul Russell 26 10 2 14 3 25 0.96 less of the starting THE CONTRIBUTORS values of the armies Dave Driver 22 6 6 1 3 21 0.95 (in no particular order of importance or involved or defined achievement) as a draw by the Nathan White 10 4 1 5 0 9 0.90 Richard Kerry, David Offen-James, Nick scenario) Daniel Gibbons 11 4 1 6 0 9 0.82 Jenkin, David Robotham, Che Webster • A loss is worth 0 Nick Doran 14 2 3 9 2 9 0.64 points. No committee members were harmed in the Ross McNaughton 12 2 1 9 1 6 0.50 publication of this Newsletter. • A bonus point can be earned for winning Dave Jones 1 1 0 0 0 2 2.00 OTHER THANKYOUS against someone with a better rating Jen Truby 1 1 0 0 0 2 2.00 Ruth Kerry than you in the for putting up with me and the club this Matthew Pinto 8 7 0 1 0 14 1.75 year, and for simply being there league. David Robotham 6 4 0 2 2 10 1.67 • And you must play at least ten games to Kevin Bacon 3 2 0 1 1 5 1.67 The Disclaimer be in contention for This material is completely unofficial and in the title and you Duncan Stradling 7 5 1 1 0 11 1.57 no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. must be a member. Les Fulbrook 9 5 1 3 2 13 1.44 Adeptus Astartes, , Black Remember any • Jamie Morton 8 3 3 2 1 10 1.25 Templars, Blood Angels, Blood Bowl, game can be a Catachan Jungle Fighters, Chaos Space Marines, the Chaos device, Codex, Dark league game as long Ben Dove 9 3 3 3 2 11 1.22 you agree with your Eldar, Dark Angels, Dark Future, the Paul Besley 6 3 0 3 1 7 1.17 Double-Headed/Imperial Eagle device, the opponent 40k device, Dwarfs Crossed Hammer logo, 'Eavy Metal, Epic, Eldar, Eldar symbol beforehand. Paul Jenkins 8 3 0 5 2 8 1.00 devices, Eye of Terror, the Games Nick Jenkin Matthew Goodwin 4 2 0 2 0 4 1.00 Workshop logo, Games Workshop, League Muppet Genestealer, , , Grey Knight, Hammer of Sigmar, Horned Chris Kelson 1 0 1 0 0 1 1.00 Rat logo, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor device , Khorne, the Khorne device, Kislev, Kroot, Chris Blair 9 3 0 6 2 8 0.89 Leman Russ, , Necron, , Nurgle, Nurgle logo, Ork, Ork Richard Crane 7 2 0 5 2 6 0.86 Skull devices, Skaven, Skaven logos, THAT’S Slaanesh, Slaanesh logo, Slottabase, Antony Walls 6 2 1 3 0 5 0.83 , Space Marine, Space Marine Peter Hibbet 4 1 0 3 0 2 0.50 chapter logos, Space Wolves, Sisters of ALL Battle, Steel Legion, Talisman, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Roger Winter 5 0 1 4 0 1 0.20 Tzeentch, Tzeentch logo, Ultramarines, FOLKS Vampire Count logo, Von Carstein, Von Nathan Yates 1 0 0 1 0 0 0.00 Carstein logo, Chaos, 40k, GW, Warmaster, Steve Mesmer 1 0 0 1 0 0 0.00 Warhammer, White Dwarf, and all Says it all really. associated marks, names, characters, However, the Newsletter will illustrations and images from the As always he’ll be after any the departing editor! continue with issue 25 and Warhammer world and Warhammer 40,000 and all of your articles Anyway folk, its been fun. universe are either (r), TM and/or (c) Nick Jenkin as your new emailed now to Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2004, variably editor (due out at a Play nice out there... registered in the UK and other countries [email protected]. around the world, used without permission. wargaming club near you at Richard Kerry No challenge to their status intended. All the end of April). Funnily enough he’s already Out of Here Muppet Rights Reserved. managed to bully one out of