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12smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11

April 7, Volume 47 2008 small ALK Issue 11 ig things The Student Voice of Methodist university BComing www.smalltalkmu.comT Join us for Worship Debate in Lion’s Den Our new website is close to Wednesdays perfection. 11 a.m. Monday, 9 p.m. Check out all the new stuff Hensdale Chapel Click the “beta link” on: Methodist University www.smalltalkmu.com Anthony Spring into Thomas Highlights VS. “Kicker” Full service salon Hutton Color and cuts Liuzza Color correction Manicures Pedicures Spray tan Microdermabrasion Facials Battle Royale for Makeovers Skin care Facial waxing Men’s cuts SGA president! 3771 Ramsey St. Northgate Shopping Center 822-2022 story on page 2 Photo art by Matt Beitzel  2 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 11 Farewell to Hutton for 2008 SGA President Article contributed by Thomas visitation hours in the dorms. Af- campus. Leighton Hutton is his opinion and does not ter reviewing the surveys my pro- We, the students, deserve more. reflect the opinions of the smallTALK posal caused Dean Blanc to de- I am running for the students and Bull, SGA staff cide to move the visitation time to want to represent what you want. two hours earlier for the residence I have created a Web site in order YOUR MONARCH SCOREBOARD My name is Thomas Hutton and halls. Along with that proposal to connect with all students President I am running for Student Govern- came another change in the over- (http://voiceofmu.blogspot.com). Alicia Secord ment President. It is time for night visitation policy. The policy But feel free to come up to me Staff Writer changes on this campus and for now allows for visitors to stay for and talk one on one. Remember Methodist Monarchs in action * the students to become the focus a many days and nights in the to vote Thomas Hutton for SGA As the semester draws to a close of all issues and decisions. While dorms. This is the type of focus President on April 9th in the Berns and Student Government Elections being a part of SGA for this students at Methodist want and Student Center from 10 a.m. to 2 MONARCH SOFTBALL school year I have taken two im- MONARCH MENS’S GOLF approach, Leighton Bull overlooks should write a paragraph about this is what I will bring to all of p.m. I appreciate your support. All Double Headers her time as the SGA president. their attributes for the position and portant student issues into my my actions as SGA President During fall of this year, Landon get 25 signatures of endorsement own hands: cafeteria improve- For this election and the follow- March 18 Greensboro Greensboro W 4-2 W 9-1 March 21-23, 2008 Bentham was the SGA president. from Methodist students or fac- ments and visitation hours. ing school year we need a Presi- March 21 Averett Home W 9-1 W 3-1 Jekyll Island Collegiate Invitational ulty. To become a candidate for I have met numerous times with However, when he took a position dent with experience in making March 26 Meredith Raleigh W 6-0 W 20-0 Oleandor College with the faculty here at Methodist, one of the formal officer positions, Peggy Dill, Head of Food Ser- changes that will benefit the stu- he resigned from his position as a student should write a paragraph vices here on campus, and clear dents. To do this the new Presi- March 27 Virginia Wesleyan Home W 1-0 W 8-7 (9) Jekyll Island, Ga. changes are taking place. These SGA president and Bull, vice about their qualifications for the dent needs to have positive rela- March 29 Ferrum Home W 6-3 W 4-3 TEAM PLACED FIRST president at that time, stepped into position and get 50 signatures of changes include better customer tionships with faculty and staff the position. endorsement. service, food variety, and consis- members on campus and that will April 1 Peace Home W 5-0 W 4-3 (8) Nick Bova 71 68 72 -5 211 1st tency. However I am fully aware Since her promotion in January, Bull, is a senior from Berwick, help faculty and staff to better un- Josh Schrader 75 70 70 -1 215 2nd Bull has led the SGA in the spon- PA. She is a business major with a that this task still needs additional derstand what the students need. concentration in professional ten- work. I am committed to making Tom Cooper 74 70 75 +3 219 t-5th sorship of the Developing Student Through my work with the Reten- MONARCH BASBALL Leaders (DSL) Leadership nis management and resort man- this work a top priority as Presi- tion Committee, SGA, and numer- Matt Bova 75 79 74 +12 228 t-31st Conference which was attended agement. Outside of the Student dent at Methodist next year. ous clubs and organizations I have by about 65 Methodist students. Government Association (SGA), In addition to cafeteria im- earned that sort of relationship March 19 Tufts Home W 14-3 Jake Pleczkowski 75 77 84 +20 236 t-66th SGA has also gotten various dis- Bull is involved in the Professional provements I administered over with key people throughout our March 21 Greensboro Greensboro L 2-4 Tennis Management Club, the 200 surveys last fall to change counts for Methodist students at March 22 Greensboro Greensboro W 7-4 local businesses, such as Hardees Resort Management Club, Delta and Jersey Mike’s, and passed out Nu Delta, the women’s tennis March 24 St. Andrews Home W 11-3 MONARCH WOMENS’S GOLF safety alarm devices to female team, and works as a tour guide Liuzza Runs for 2008 SGA March 29 Emory Home L 6-7 students. The main focus for the for prospective students March 22-23, 2008 rest of the year is promotion of The SGA meets on Sunday eve- March 30 Emory Home T 8-8 William & Mary Invitational student involvement in SGA and nings at 8 pm to avoid conflict President As “The Other Guy” April 3 Hampden-Sydney Hampden-Sydney, Va. W 4-2 College of William & Mary the upcoming SGA elections this with other clubs and campus min- Article contributed by Anthony part of SGA. Every sports team, think that the role of the SGA Pres- month. istry events. Students can get (Kicker) Liuzza is his opinion and club, and organization should have ident and SGA is to micro-manage Williamsburg, Va. Student elections will be held a copy of the SGA meetings at does not reflect the opinions of the the opportunity to represent their the entire school; that is why we MONARCH LACROSSE Par-Yardage: 72-6063 later this month to determine sena- the following session. The SGA smallTALK staff affiliated group at SGA meet- have deans and staff. I am a para- tor positions (student representa- encourages students to bring any ings—this would include having digm shifter: Big Picture. One of TEAM PLACED FOURTH tives) and formal officers. If a questions, concerns, or comments I would never undermine the in- voting rights and legislative power. my opponent’s main focuses of his March 19 Ferrum Fayetteville W 15-4 student would like to become a to a meeting or send them to dividuality of each student by This should lessen the burden SGA campaign is in regards to “fixing March 26 Guilford Greensboro L 4-17 claiming to be the unanimous voice +12 156 t-8 student representative, he or she [email protected]. faces from lack of man power (and the cafeteria.” We all know this March 29 Sweet Briar Fayetteville L 11-14 Katie Dick 73 83 of Methodist University; women power for all of us femi- need to be done—but lets be rea- Susan Martin 82 77 +15 159 t-11 frankly I find it quite arro- nists). There will truly be an entire sonable --no matter how the elec- +16 160 t-17 smallTALK Staff gant. In no way would I cross section of The Methodist tion turns out, the problem won’t Sara Dickson 82 78 falsely represent the stu- Student Body present. We will go away “just like that.” Honestly, MONARCH MEN’S TENNIS Paige Caldwell 84 80 +20 164 t-36 Editor-in-Chief Ashley Genova smallTALK is the student-run dents declaring my ideas have the ability to delegate stand- having a tastier omelet in the morn- +28 172 t-83 newspaper of Methodist University. or those of a select few, as ing committees other than the four ing is not going to make Methodist March 18 Greensboro Home W 9-0 Gretchen McLean 91 81 the “students’ voice.” You It is published every other week or five mentioned in the constitu- University a better place to live. March 20 Guilford Guilford L 4-5 News Editor Ashley Young throughout the school year. The each have your own unique tion. We need to change the culture of newspaper is editorially independent voice, opinions, thoughts, Imagine a spirit committee-- de- the student body-- the culture of March 22 Averett Danville, Va. W 7-2 March 31-April 1, 2008 and ideas. I simply want to Sports Editor Danielle Levine of Methodist University, and any voted to, periodically throughout this campus-- getting everyone in- March 26 Hampden-Sydney Home L 3-6 Tina Barrett Invitational ideas and opinions expressed herein create a culture within each semester, performing fun, volved; try to make it the cool do not necessarily reflect the views SGA where the ideas of the crazy, “just because,” activities thing to do. I am confident that I March 29 Ferrum Home W 9-0 Longwood University Ad Manager Thomas Holmes and opinions of the faculty, staff many culminate: function- simply to make the students laugh. am the right guy, “the Other Guy” Farmville, Va. and administration of Methodist ing as a whole. One example would be to have for that job. University. How about a bi-cameral SGA members riding through cam- MONARCH WOMEN’S TENNIS Par-Yardage: 72-6108 Web Editor Austin Bordeax smallTALK welcomes Letters to legislature? Right now, pus in golf carts passing out well TEAM PLACED SIXTH the Editor. All letters should be SGA is made up of an Ex- designed Methodist t-shirts .The March 18 Greensboro Home W 8-1 delivered to the Student Media ecutive Board and sena- catch would be to trade the shirt +11 155 t-4 Photographers tors. Wow! At capacity March 21 NC Central Durham W 8-1 Katie Dick 76 79 office on the second floor of Bern’s you are wearing for a Methodist t- +14 158 11 Matt Beitzel Student Center or sent via e-mail to that’s about 23 members shirt. All of the collected t-shirts March 21 Averett Danville, Va. W 9-0 Susan Martin- 78 80 … How many students at- Aaron Casteel [email protected]. Story would then be donated to a home- Gretchen McLean 84 88 +28 172 t-38 suggestions should be sent to the tend Methodist? less shelter. I think Methodist March 25 Huntingdon Rocky Mount W 6-0 same address. Amending the SGA con- Sara Dickson 83 90 +29 173 t-42 Staff Writers needs more ideas like this one. March 26 Meredith Home W 7-2 Students are free to join stitution to include a House Let’s make this place feel like a Paige Caldwell 82 97 +35 179 t-56 Daniel Lee smallTALK at any point in the of Representatives would university should feel--one of in- March 29 Ferrum Ferrum, Va. W 9-0 Lakeisha Story school year. Meetings are every open the organization to tense student involvement, and a Monday at 4:30 p.m. in the greater student representa- great sense of pride: A place that Alicia Secord Heritage Dining Room. tion. We need a House of we can call our friends back home Representatives to be an and say “dude my school rocks!!!” * Due to the date of printing, smallTALK Sports was unable to cover the active and contributing I am not a task manager. I do not games and matches that took place over the previous weekend. 10smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 3

The Women’s Golf program The Men’s Golf team has has had a year of ups and Erin Yarborough takes crown as second Miss Methodist had an amazing season with downs as the team has had four first place, one second many different standings place, and two third place within the top ten in seven team finishes; and 14 top 10 tournaments this season; cide what to name it. Sutherland’s great opportunity to let our female individual finishes throughout placing first in two. daughter wanted to name the pup- students shine with their talent and the season.The Monarchs are py, “Mustard,” and Sutherland’s knowledge,” said Monica Cheek, a ranked first in the Conference Pictured left is Senior son wanted to name it “Ketchup,” recruitment coordinator for RMT. Katie Dick. so when the children went to and Nationally. The Monarchs Sutherland to ask him what they looks to continue the school’s Photo Courtesy of should name the puppy he replied, golf legacy with another Sports Information. “Why don’t you name it treadmill? Conference and National Because you’re only going to play Championship. with it for a few weeks then you’re CONGRATULATIONS going to put it in the basement and Pictured left is Senior Nick leave it there!” Bova, USA South Conference The girls also displayed a wide Individual Leader. TO ALL METHODIST Senior Erin Yarborough as 2008- Miss Methodist Candidates with Comedian Buzz Sutherland range of performances for their 2009 Miss Methodist talents. They did everything from Photo Courtesy of acting, to clogging, singing, play- Sports Information UNIVERSITY ATHLETIC Photos by Aaron Casteel girls came out dancing to Michael ing the piano, and dancing. Jackson’s, “The Way You Make etteville a total of 16 times prior to Antonio Bartee, a student activi- TEAMS- WAY TO PLAY! Ashley Young Me Feel,” and followed with intro- Miss Methodist. Sutherland joked ties member, announced the top News Editor ductions. about a wide range of stories and five contestants and then Tiffanie Miss Methodist was held March f u n Wagner gave closing remarks on 19 at 8 p.m. in Reeves auditorium. what her year as Miss Methodist Sparkling hats, brightly colored Reeves was full of families and was like. t-shirts and black pants led the way friends there to support the 11 can- “It’s going to be interesting to at this year’s Miss Methodist. The didates who competed for the see what the new Miss Methodist Underdog Davidson’s run ends, but respect will linger crown. The 2008- does for Methodist because Tif- 2009 Miss Meth- fanie did the H.A.V.E. program,” By Mike Downey who watched it in horror Curry tried to beat the clock. fied. We expected to win. odist is Erin Yar- said Whitney Slaughter, a senior, Chicago Tribune from the Kansas bench. Sherron Collins swarmed all This has been a 12-month borough, first run- and a mass communications ma- (MCT) Kaun had been his team’s over him. mission. It came down to ner up was Mi- jor. best player in this game, com- Not much more Curry one final play. That’s the chelle Simmons When asked how she felt about ing off the bench and coming could do. He could force it beauty of this game that we and second runner giving the title of Miss Methodist DETROIT _ Don’t you have up big with 13 points and six up or give it up. play.” up was Krystal up and if she was ready to do so, to have at least one underdog rebounds. He looked for Richards It is also the beast. Poirier. Miss Con- Tiffanie Wagner replied, at the Alamo? But his coach didn’t need a and found him. Being outmanned is a part geniality was Ash- “I’m excited to give it up and Guess not. 6-foot-11-inch, 250-pounder “Why did he give up the of any battle. They know a ley Voter. excited to see what the new Miss No room in San Antonio at in the game for the last play. ball?” CBS-TV analyst Len little something about that The Master of Methodist is going to do with it.” the Alamodome next week- Bill Self had to make sure Elmore wanted to know. at the Alamo. Ceremony for the Krystal Poirier dances to “All or Wagner is a junior and a special Michelle Simmons per- show was Buzz Nothing” for her talent forms to Jennifer Lopez’s end for a Davy Crockett-like smaller, quicker players were Richards didn’t know You fight with what you education major. She also compet- “Lets Get Loud” long shot such as Davidson. in there. but didn’t care. He let it fly, have. Take, for instance, Simmons, Yarborough, Poirier, and Ashley Voter Sutherland, a co- ed in the Miss Fayetteville pageant No place for a little team Somebody had to stop thought it looked good, ago- Sander, a kid who had to pose with their awards. median, who has memories. One of the stories was which was held on March 29. with a big heart that kept Steph Curry. nized when it missed. contend with Kansas’ brutes performed in Fay- about a puppy they got for Christ- “I think Miss Methodist is a Kansas to a season-low 59 Somebody had to keep It could have been a shot while playing with a broken mas and the children could not de- points Sunday but still lost. Davidson’s iceman from heard `round the basketball thumb. No spot for an outside knocking Kansas cold with world, but it didn’t go down. “You want to talk about shot in a favorites-only Final one punch. Davidson did. toughness, my goodness,” Four. Somebody had to do some- “You can play the what-if McKillop said. After a 59-57 escape in the thing before a kid who broke game in your head as many Curry fired up 16 shots Midwest regional final, even the NCAA’s record for three- times as you want,” Richards from three-point range and a guy from the winning team Welcome home, baby Mustard point shots in a season broke said. clanked 12. But even so, felt sorry for the guys from every Jayhawk’s heart with He and the Wildcats had Davidson hung tough. the losing team. one more. won 25 games in a row. They It contained a Kansas groundbreakers: mous but knowledgeable advice session. The word mustard fate- publications. We believe all stu- “I hope next year they “I was totally confident that had lost to North Carolina team that had scored 84 Deanna Piacente ° make it back here and pro- Dr. Sharron Sypult, our top dog columnist; fully fell from someone’s mouth dents deserve an outlet to express we were going to pull it off and to UCLA before that but points against Texas, 100 Contributed Article ° ceed to go on to the Final there at the end,” Davidson were eager for a second crack against Baylor and 109 and journalism professor who And, of course, yours truly, (thanks, Jesse). Apparently we themselves without censorship. Four,” Kansas senior Darnell senior Thomas Sander said. at both at the Alamodome. against Texas Tech. gathered and planted the seeds of Deanna Piacente, Mustard’s editor took her seriously. Today’s technology has made it MustardMag.com is finally this online magazine; and contributor to the magazine’s It didn’t take long to establish possible for us to deliver just that Jackson said. Curry couldn’t even get it Their coach, Bob McK- “We held them 30 points here! ° He means here at Ford off, though. He was double- illop, knew that his school below their average,” Curry Christina Erben, our creative multimedia and behind-the-scenes reasons for such a title. Firstly the - untainted, unadulterated student After months of work and near mind and lead designer of all nonsense. mustard plant begins as the small- voices. Field, host arena for 2009’s teamed, triple-teamed, qua- had become “somewhat of a proudly said. exhaustion we are ready for re- NCAA title game. It is where druple-teamed. Kansas sent darling” in the tournament. But it all came down to things Mustard; Certainly we cannot forget to est of seeds but becomes the grand- Lastly the word mustard begins lease. ° Matt Beitzel, our HTML ex- praise our numerous writers and est of trees. Call us optimistic: but with MU. Need we say more? Jackson and the Jayhawks everybody but the ghosts of But he didn’t feel his 10th- one outside shot. A last shot And those crazy clues we’ve had to hold their breath until Dr. James Naismith and Wilt seeded team was on some for this NCAA basketball traordinaire; contributors. If it were not for them we began with nothing. We aspire So the seeds of MustardMag. been leaving around will make ° Jesse Heath, a journalism ma- we’d have nothing to publish and to become a staple of the Method- com have been planted. Watch us Jason Richards’ desperation Chamberlain out to guard quixotic quest against all of tournament’s ultimate out- sense after reading our stories. shot for Davidson grazed the him. these tall No. 1 windmills side shot, 1,700-student jor with a true talent for writing; you’d have nothing to read. ist University community. grow. With such talent, potential, Davidson head coach Bob McKillop pats the head of senior Jason Although Mustard sounds con- °Erika Holland, the mind behind Now, I know what you’re all Secondly mustard the condi- and a catchy name – all things are rim and fell to the floor. Mario Chalmers chased like Kansas, Carolina, UCLA Davidson College. dimental we are aiming for monu- “Probably the longest shot him and kept in his face. Cur- and Memphis. What an exit. Richards after their 59-57 loss to Kansas. most page designs; wondering…why Mustard? My ment is spicy. Mustard as a maga- possible. (David T. Foster III/Charlotte Observer/MCT) mental. We, the mustard staff, are ° I’ve seen in my life, just be- ry shook him. Brandon Rush “We expected to win,” Whitney Slaughter, our much answer is why not? The magazine zine will live up to its name. We a mixed bunch of seeds indeed. needed and appreciated publicist; name was simply the product of an hope to break the conventions of ing in the air for so long,” came to help, fell for a pump McKillop said. “We didn’t Allow me to introduce the ° said Sasha Kaun, a senior fake, went up, fell down. come here content or satis- The Love Doctor, our anony- infamous Mustard brainstorming the typical private school student 4 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Methodist comes together for Campus crimes Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 9 Show You Care Day and punishment Alicia Secord Staff Writer Sports Every spring for over two de- rent events to open up a dialogue cades, Methodist students, faculty, with the community and keep peo- and staff have come together to ple aware of campus limits and make the school a better place. processes,” said Hamerla. This year Show You Care Day fo- “The person responsible cused on beautification, safety, and for the pentagram in the woods handicap access. Flowers were voluntarily confessed and is no SPRING MONARCH UPDATES planted around the Davis Memori- longer a student at Methodist Uni- al Library and the Berns Student versity. In my ten years of being Center. Also vegetation was here I don’t recall anything like Farewell to the 2008 spring season cleared behind the Pines Apart- this occurring,” said Mr. William ments, and the handicap access Dawn Hamerla, Methodist Chief of H. Walker, Senior Associate Dean ramp from the downstairs to up- Police of Students and Campus Judicial The Monarchs Baseball team has had a great stairs of the Berns was replaced. Officer. season, the record is 20 wins, nine losses, and Show You Care Day was start- The Monarch Softball team is ed in the mid-1980s by the men’s Students, staff, and faculty plant flowers outside of Career Services one tie. The Monarchs are looking to repeat a by the Green and Gold Cafe. Daniel Lee Suspects Intrude on ranked 11th in NCAA Division III. bid to the NCAA Division III and women’s soccer coaches, Al- Photos by Roxana Ross Staff Writer len Dawson and Joe Ferrera. Now Methodist’s Campus The team looks to three-peat as Tourmament. it is directed by William Walker, USA South Conference Tourna- Sticks Found in Woods The action continued on Mar. 14 Senior Associate Dean for Student ment Champions and three-peat Pictured left is Sophomore Pitcher Fred Geisinger Development & Services. Walker program, this was not the best job ect this is the only time that a when two suspects fled onto Meth- to undertake. The ramp was only bunch of different campus organi- A pentagram made from sticks odist’s campus. a bid to the NCAA Division III not only organizes the activities on was discovered in the woods on Photo by Kasey Nichols the day of the event but also heads about a quarter of the way com- zations do something together. “Two suspects were being ar- Tournament. pleted by the time the event ended Plus when you’re walking around Mar. 12 beside the walking path rested on felony charges by Fay- the committee that decides which behind Sanford and Cumberland. April 10- Baseball Game at 6 p.m. projects should be undertaken each and the maintenance crew was left with other students the next day etteville police. During the arrest, Pictured right is Junior Third to finish the job on Monday and and you can say, ‘I built that ramp’ “A staff member discov- the subjects fled onto campus and Baseman Kayla Talbert. year. The committee accepts sug- ered a site in the woods behind gestions from the Methodist com- Tuesday of the following week. or ‘I planted those flowers.’” Officer Bandy pursued them. The This meant that the path from the Though many students did not Sanford and Cumberland on the subjects were most likely unarmed Photo Courtesy of munity during the first part of each morning of Mar. 12th. It was de- Sports Information. spring semester to get an idea of Berns to the parking lot below was attend Show You Care Day there and were not caught while still on blocked which made wheelchair was a lot of effort put forth in order scribed as a group of sticks shaped campus,” said Hamerla. what improvements should be like a pentagram. I was informed made to the campus. They also de- access even more restricted. While to improve Methodist’s campus. Officer John Bandy is a member upkeep and repair of existing of the situation and Lt. Bird was of the Methodist police force. April 9- Softball Game at 2:30 p.m. The Men’s Tennis Team has had an cide which ideas are most possible sent to investigate,” said Dawn and necessary. ramps is important to handicap ac- “It is my understanding interesting season. Although the cessibility new ramps and access Hamerla, Methodist Chief of Po- that two police suspects ran overall record is not as appealing Presenting a positive impres- lice and Director of Public Safety. sion to visitors is important to the points are necessary for the school through the woods into the Pines as one might wish, the USA South to truly be handicap convenient. Lt. Janet Bird is the As- Apartments area. Bandy pursued Methodist students and faculty. sistant Director of Public Safety. record is perfect. The Men have “Image is everything,” said Jar- The same good intentions the intruders while Public Safety were applied to the Pines Apart- “I saw a pentagram made of informed residents of the situation an overall record of four wins, six rel McRae, an RA. sticks next to the walking path. A When visitors come to Method- ment project. The project in- and reminded them to stay safe,” losses with three wins in the con- volved clearing dead vegetation small pile of burnt pine straw, the said Walker. “In my ten years of ference. ist the first thing they see is the size of a soda can, was next to the grounds, ornamental flower beds behind the apartments in the di- being at Methodist there have been rection of the Cape Fear River symbol. I destroyed the symbol no more than three incidents of in- Pictured Right is Sophomore and manicured lawns. Beautifica- and scattered the sticks. After my tion near Berns and the library in- Trail. This was done in an at- trusions on campus.” Andrew Fletcher tempt to keep students safe. initial report the investigation was According to Walker, the sus- volved pulling weeds from exist- continued by Campus Police,” ing beds, removing pine straw, “We’re doing this so that stu- pects escaped from the campus but Photos by Kasey Nichols dents can see anyone coming up said Bird. were later apprehended by the fed- planting flowers, and laying down “No immediate hazard mulch. While the beds near the li- behind the apartments,” stated eral police department. Thanks to April 13- Men’s Tennis Match at 11 a.m. Alex Ybarra, an RA in Sanford was posed to the community be- the work of the Methodist police brary merely needed sprucing up cause of this incident. A student much of the vegetation around the Hall. force residents on campus remain While this is a great intention, has already confessed to this crime safe and sound. April 12 Monarch’s Lacrosse had Berns is entirely new. Both areas and is no longer associated with now look much tidier and well students could have been out a difficult season, while battling there all week and there would the University,” said Hamerla. Contributions by Ashley Young, Women’s Tennis injuries, the ladies have had to taken care of. Hamerla said that David Dallas One area in which Methodist have still been more vegetation News Editor. Match play some games with less than a to clear. Being that it is the of Cumberland County Sheriff’s needs to improve is its handicap Office came to investigate the in- 11 a.m. full team, but have managed to accessibility. In an attempt to rem- woods, there will always be vegetation growing there. cident. According to Dallas, the hold their own. As of Friday, the edy this situation students began site was associated with Wicca ac- rebuilding the handicap access At the end of the morning record was three wins and eight work session, students felt ac- tivity. Wicca is a Neopagan earth- The Women’s Tennis team has has a remarkable season. They ramp which extends from the up- centered religious group that prac- losses. stairs level of the Berns to the complished and proud of what have also had perfect record within the USA South Conference, they had done. Alicia Bates, a tices witchcraft. Hamerla also said parking lot. that she has no reason to believe with an overall record of 12 wins and three losses. The women Pictured left is Senior Crystal Many students, including Keva SAC member, said that she Show You Care Day participants work are looking to repeat as Conference Tournament Champions comes to Show You Care Day be- on the ramp out by Berns Student there is a cult on campus and this Bradley. Wilson felt that “every student Center. was an isolated incident. and a bid to the NCAA Division III Tournament. should have equal access to the fa- cause, Photo by Kasey Nichols “It’s great to work with the oth- “We can use this incident as an cilities here at Methodist.” opportunity to teach students about Pictured above are Seniors Jenny Smith and Tiffany Tucker The problem is, for a two hour er groups on campus. Other than the Jesse Smith Woodcutting Proj- crime prevention. I try to use cur- Photo by Kasey Nichols 8 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 5 Columbia Picture’s ‘21’ is a Bust By Christopher Kelly McClatchy Newspapers (MCT) A few things you will not learn while watching “21”: You will not learn how to play blackjack, Opinions despite the fact that the movie is, um, titled “21” and is about a Ashley group of M.I.T. students who earn hundreds of thousands of dollars If you were a cartoon character, which would you be and why? playing said card game. Asks... You will not learn how to count Ashley Young News Editor cards, despite the fact that this “I would John from is the method the students use to “I would like to be like win all that money. ‘Garfield’ because we are “‘The Simpsons’ You will not learn how long both unlucky.” -Winston ‘My Little Pony’ because because everything their elaborate scheme carries on, Tatum, a freshman and I could fly and smell is so funny.” -Chris or whether there are any legal like gumdrops.” -Tenille repercussions to their actions, an environmental science Coats, a junior, and major. Woodward, a senior, and a despite the fact that the film is political science major. a political science based on a nonfiction book titled major. “Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions” by Ben Mezrich. What you will learn, though this much you probably already knew, is that Hollywood has an uncanny knack for taking poten- tially provocative material and dumbing it down to the point of Loeb respected the audience’s “Curious George complete irrelevancy. intelligence, they might have used this story as the springboard Ben Campbell (Jim Johnny Bravo because he “I’d have to be Superman because my four year Presumably set in the present Sturgess, pictured) is day (“21” doesn’t just skimp on for a rich and gripping proce- gets all the ladies!” –Rickey because he has the ability old gets into as much dural, a movie that allowed us to recruited to join M.I.T.’s Lozotte, a freshman, and an to help others in need.” mischief as that little the details, it doesn’t believe in blackjack team, a group of details, period), the film intro- understand the ins and outs of a exercise science major. –Horace Hemley, a junior, monkey!” -Arleen duces us to Ben Campbell (Jim complex and constantly chang- students that uses smarts ing betting system. Instead, “21” and skills to take Vegas and a computer science Fields, Archives Sturgess, from “Across the major. Librarian in the Davis Universe”), an extremely gifted serves up a harebrained back- for millions in Columbia student who instantly impresses story (Ben needs to earn money Pictures’ “21.” Memorial Library. his professor Micky Rosa (Kevin so that he can pay for Harvard (Columbia Pictures/ Medical School which apparently Spacey). It turns out that Micky MCT) is also the leader of a gambling no longer offers student loans), a Box Office Preview hackneyed central conflict (Ben By Stephen Becker SMART PEOPLE - Dennis ring at the university: He oversees a group of students who travel eventually decides he’s too good The Dallas Morning News Quaid stars as a widowed pro- at card counting to need Micky’s wasted, as one plot point after an- (MCT) fessor who finds a new love. to Las Vegas each weekend and manage to elude the eagle eyes help anymore), and an utterly other goes unaddressed. (Why do Opening April 11: Thomas Haden Church, Sarah ludicrous subplot (Laurence Fish- the students always stay together CHAOS THEORY - An Jessica Parker and Ellen Page of the casino operators who are forever on the lookout for card burne plays the Las Vegas securi- in a pricey hotel suite, when “The road runner ultra-organized man is forced also star. ty expert who’s trying to catch the they’re not supposed to be seen to live his life more serendipi- STREET KINGS - Keanu counters and return back to Mas- because I’m always sachusetts tens of thousands of students, to prove the inadequacy together? How is it that they man- on the go!” -Frank E. tously. Reeves stars as a police officer of the computerized security sys- age to leave the casinos with such PROM NIGHT - A killer accused of killing a fellow cop. dollars richer. Moses Jr., a senior, Had director Robert Luketic tems being installed throughout of vast sums without ever having to goes and interrupts high Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie the city). Little of this, of course, report their income to the I.R.S.?) and a social work school’s biggest event. and Chris Evans also star. (“Legally Blonde”) and screen- writers Peter Steinfeld and Allan appears in Mezrich’s book, which Scene to scene, the movie holds major. seems to have been together, if you stumble upon it filtered through a on HBO in two years, you might computer program even sit through it until the end. designed to create But you’re never able to shake the completely generic feeling that it’s both pointless and Hollywood potboil- worthless. In the parlance of the ers. gambling tables, it’s a bust. Along the way, an attractive young cast, 2 stars (out of 5) which includes Kate Director: Robert Luketic LIVE-IN NANNY WANTED for summer months: Energetic, easy-going, Bosworth (“Super- Stars: Jim Sturgess, Kevin man Returns”), patient MU student to help a stay-at-home mom for the summer months with 2 Spacey healthy, active little boys ages 1 and 3. Free room/partial board in exchange for up Aaron Yoo (“Dis- Length: 123 min. to 20 hrs per week (usually will be much less). Non-smoker only, off-street parking, turbia”) and Jacob Rated: PG-13 (violence, sexual private furnished room w/bath, storage available, female only, 5 min commute to Pitts (“Quarterlife”) content, partial nudity) MU, babysitting experience required, character references required, background as Ben’s partners- check will be conducted, Christian preferred, early childhood or in-card-counting, is elementary education major a plus. Call 910-488-7460 to schedule an interview. A great opportunity for a student looking to stay in town over summer, no lease to sign, still have another part-time job, live with a real family, etc. 6 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 7 Farewell, Between the headstones, Dr. Christian row on row Bob Ray Sanders many of the wounded are returning forever McClatchy Newspapers changed with missing limbs, life-altering (MCT) brain injuries, and mental and emotional Entertainment Ashley Genova problems that will never be cured. Editor-in-Chief Milestones. Headstones. Just this week in North Texas, an ex-Ma- T. Rox and Gasoline Make for an Interesting Performance When the two become synonymous, in rine who served three tours of duty in Iraq What will the English department do at agonizing sync, it is time for the nation to Alicia Secord helped them stick in the minds by Cyndi Lauper to “King of present for Gasoline didn’t enjoy relationships and drinking more was arrested and charged with murder in Staff Writer the end of this year? This small but cozy pause in solemn reverence for those who the stabbing death of his ex-girlfriend. His of the audience. Their best songs Pain” by The Police. Unlike T. Rox and the T. Rox fans didn’t than anything, but they do it with school is losing one of its best professors, have paid the ultimate price for the country father said he gave the government a “nice however, were the purely instru- most local bands, T. Rox had stick around to hear Gasoline. quality instrumentals backing it Dr. Robert Christian. they loved. When ska meets southern rock, mental ones. both a good stage show and qual- Gasoline surprisingly played up making it much less clichéd and healthy” son, “and the government re- it is an extremely odd pairing, Christian has worked at Methodist since We must offer our thanks for the men and turned somebody who is capable of doing T. Rox and the Skankosaurs ity instrumentals. The drum- a pretty great set. When they than is expected. Throw in 1968, teaching classes about a variety of Dr. Robert Christian enjoys a school event but that is exactly what hap- brought a style and energy to mer was steady, the winds had play as a headliner band they some pretty avid fans and you’ve in the cafeteria. Photo by Roxana Ross. women who gave their all, even in a war that something like that.” literature including the Romantics and the never should have been waged _ one that pened on March 22. Though The Rock Shop that is rarely good tone, and the guitarist and put a lot more energy into the got a fun set. Despite the lies that got us into the war Gasoline (a southern rock band Victorians. Currently, he is the chair of was ordered by a president on a whim and in the fi rst place, and the rationalizations seen there. T. Rox is a ska bassist knew how to lead with- show and seem to enjoy them- In all it was a strange night, the English department. At the end of this from Fayetteville) was the head- cover band who covers every- out overpowering the rest of the selves so much more than as but it’s great to see several dif- Literature class, apologizing for not being authorized by a Congress in fear (not of the that keep us there, most Americans decided semester, he will be retiring, although he enemy but of unabashed politics). liner for the show, T. Rox and the thing from “Time After Time” group. This kind of organization an opener. Gasoline, like most ferent types of bands on the same in the best of moods. Rarely does Christian months ago that we must fi nd a way out of Skankosaurs (a ska band from will return in the fall to teach part time. Yes, pay homage to those whose graves this hellhole. Somehow we must fi gure out a is rare even in a concert group. southern rock, tends to sing about stage. I’ve sat through lessons from interview stop smiling and laughing as he puts his Chapel Hill), performing with The only complaint to be made whole heart into his class readings. His now dot our most hallowed grounds and way to bring our troops home. candidates vying for Christian’s position, whose lives, and deaths, shall forever in- Marko and the Rockers (also is about the vocalist. Though office is a tribute to his love of litera- Oh, I know- we broke it, and therefore we from Chapel Hill), was easily and they can’t be compared to Christian. spire and haunt those who loved them. own it. But we must let go. That should be beautiful, funny, and energetic, His mind is like a portable library and ture, full writers’ pictures and a model of just as impressive. These styles her voice leaves something to Shakespeare’s theatre. Things will be very Milestone: 4,000 and counting. the primary charge of the next administra- database. I’m always amazed how he can Headstone: the 4,000th and still counting. of music are so different, that be desired. The crowd however, different next semester when a new profes- tion. both portions of the show had not only quote a poet, but tell you who that Wait, don’t you dare try to minimize that As for those who insist that we must re- was enthralled. Singing along, Dean Sears, poet married and where he or she lived. To sor is in his office. completely different crowds. dancing, and general excitement guitarist, and Dr. Christian, I will miss your les- number by telling me how many service main in Iraq until we “win,” would you replace all the knowledge that Christian personnel were killed in one battle in one The opening band, Marko and accompanied every song and by Mike Mongol, sons, your love for your work and all the please tell me what winning is? the Rockers was far from impres- carries in his head, the English department day during World War II. Never mind, because you can’t. the end of the set the only people bassist, help will have to hire at least three professors wonderful things that you have brought to sive, but definitely got the crowd that wanted T. Rox off the stage Gasoline burn the English department and to the whole Please don’t suggest that this is a “small” You who have bought this administration’s instead of just one. price to pay for liberating a people- a people warmed up. Despite feedback were the Gasoline fans. up the stage. Methodist campus. I hope that your retire- line that Iraq is the front line of fi ghting ter- issues, predictable rhythms, and And how passionate Christian is about most Americans didn’t care about until we rorism, get real. It was in the name of fi ght- Gasoline plays an entirely dif- Photo by his work! Even after his beloved dog ment will give you as much happiness as average vocalist, the combination ferent kind of music than the Alicia Secord your job has given you. declared war on a tyrant who already was ing terrorism that we put American troops died, he showed up to my Victorian very much in check. of fun lyrics and a killer bass play- other two…southern rock. While in harm’s way, making them easy targets for er made for a decent set. Their Jessica Hiltabidle, vocalist for And by no means try to convince me that old and new foreign militants. ska is a combination of reggae eclectic style and strange holiday T. Rox and the Skankosaurs, was and big band, southern rock is this mighty toll has been worth it. This war effort has been an utter failure, a crowd favorite. Worth what? songs, such as “Valentine” and a combination of country and but the ineptness of this country’s leaders “Seasons Loathings,” definitely Photo by Alicia Secord In addition to the number of dead Ameri- should not refl ect poorly on the men and rock. Needless to say, the fans cans and the tens of thousands of innocent women who have served, and continue to dead Iraqis, far too many of our countrymen serve, their country in spite of poor deci- and women have returned home with physi- sions from Washington. cal and mental scars they will carry for the They deserve our respect and our grati- ‘Run Fatboy Run’ rest of their lives. tude, for they have done what they have Several retired generals have noted the been asked to do and much more. Roger Moore be London’s biggest loser. That his funny landlord, Mr. G. large number of injured in this war com- The sacrifi ces of those who died and who The Orlando Sentinel much is obvious when we jump (Harish Patel, just ador- pared with the ratio of death-to-wounded in returned injured shall never be diminished. (MCT) forward fi ve years to see the able), and Gordon, Dennis other confl icts. Their service was not in vain. paunchy, chain-smoking security and Fat Boy start to sprint. 3 Generations of Great Food! For every fatality in Iraq, more than seven But the best way we can honor those who There’s often a touch of the guard that Dennis has become. “You’ve never fi nished have been wounded, according to reports. remain is to fi nd a way to bring them home touching in the comedies of Brit But he’s still in touch with the anything in your life,” That compares with 2.8 injured per death in as soon as possible. Everyman Simon Pegg. “Shaun not-quite-ex because they have a Libby insists dismissively. Korea and a ratio of 2.6 in Vietnam. Let’s stop adding to the list of milestones. of the Dead” had his moments of son together. He’d love to worm Like most movies with a 3708 Ramsey Street New body armor and improved medi- For God’s sake, let us stop adding the sentiment, in between dispatch- his way back into her life. But marathon in them, the race cal treatments are saving more lives, but rows of tombstones. ing zombies. she’s taken up with the wealthy, becomes that metaphor 822-0431 But even knowing that, it’s charming American Whit (Hank for a person fi nding inner shocking how sweet his latest, Azaria), a hedge fund broker and resources that change his or “Run Fatboy Run,” turns out athlete. her life. Dedeaux’s Java Shop to be. A less-than-outrageous “He runs marathons!” Schwimmer fi lls out his Director David Schwimmer, from left, Thandie Newton and Simon party-stop romantic farce, it stops and takes “Why?” cast with a nice cross-sec- Pegg arrive at the premiere for “Run Fatboy Run,” held at the Arclight the time to let us say, “Awwww,” Eventually, this too-leisurely tion of Brit character actors, Theatre in Hollywood, California, March 24, 2008. Coffee House & Internet Cafe often at the expense of laughs. comedy gets down to its busi- including “Little Britain” (Fitzroy Barrett/Landov/MCT) Pegg plays Dennis, whom ness, which is Dennis taking cross-dresser David Walliams. *balloon bouquets * giftbaskets we meet in mid-panic attack up the challenge of running a Schwimmer smartly withholds to Pegg’s shtick, which means 3 stars (out of 5) 4808 Ramsey Street Ste. 102 on his wedding day. He’s about marathon with Whit. He must fi nal judgment on Whit and two thirds of the movie isn’t that Cast: Simon Pegg, Thandie * heart chocolates * teddy bears to marry the stunning Libby train. He must diet. He must marathoning and makes the real funny. Newton, Hank Azaria, Dylan Fayetteville, NC 28311 (Thandie Newton). She’s having fi nish, because there are side bets story about what Dennis must do It has meaning and sentiment Moran. free deliveries on most orders his baby. It’s going to be a big that involve his back rent and his to become a better man. and a nice pay-off for its fi nale. Director: David Schwimmer. (Across from Pizza Hut) ceremony. always-broke best mate, Gordon Pegg may not be the most But without more laughs, “Run Running time: 1 hour, 35 And all Dennis can do is run (scene-stealer Dylan Moran). convincing “fat boy,” but he’s Fatboy Run” is awfully winded minutes. mu students and military: 10% off with id for his life. That’s when this comedy, on his game here, his expressive by the time it crosses the fi nish Industry rating: PG-13 for 5804 yadkin rd., fayetteville, 488-7700/587-9683 910-482-8518 What kind of knob leaves a directed by “Friends” alum face contorted into pain, panic line. some rude and sexual humor, woman who looks like Thandie David Schwimmer, fi nds its and prickliness. Azaria and New- nudity, language and smoking. Bring in this ad and receive a 10% Discount! Newton at the altar? Dennis must footing. Training with the help of ton are basically straight-men www.party-stop.com 6 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 7 Farewell, Between the headstones, Dr. Christian row on row Bob Ray Sanders many of the wounded are returning forever McClatchy Newspapers changed with missing limbs, life-altering (MCT) brain injuries, and mental and emotional Entertainment Ashley Genova problems that will never be cured. Editor-in-Chief Milestones. Headstones. Just this week in North Texas, an ex-Ma- T. Rox and Gasoline Make for an Interesting Performance When the two become synonymous, in rine who served three tours of duty in Iraq What will the English department do at agonizing sync, it is time for the nation to Alicia Secord helped them stick in the minds by Cyndi Lauper to “King of present for Gasoline didn’t enjoy relationships and drinking more was arrested and charged with murder in Staff Writer the end of this year? This small but cozy pause in solemn reverence for those who the stabbing death of his ex-girlfriend. His of the audience. Their best songs Pain” by The Police. Unlike T. Rox and the T. Rox fans didn’t than anything, but they do it with school is losing one of its best professors, have paid the ultimate price for the country father said he gave the government a “nice however, were the purely instru- most local bands, T. Rox had stick around to hear Gasoline. quality instrumentals backing it Dr. Robert Christian. they loved. When ska meets southern rock, mental ones. both a good stage show and qual- Gasoline surprisingly played up making it much less clichéd and healthy” son, “and the government re- it is an extremely odd pairing, Christian has worked at Methodist since We must offer our thanks for the men and turned somebody who is capable of doing T. Rox and the Skankosaurs ity instrumentals. The drum- a pretty great set. When they than is expected. Throw in 1968, teaching classes about a variety of Dr. Robert Christian enjoys a school event but that is exactly what hap- brought a style and energy to mer was steady, the winds had play as a headliner band they some pretty avid fans and you’ve in the cafeteria. Photo by Roxana Ross. women who gave their all, even in a war that something like that.” literature including the Romantics and the never should have been waged _ one that pened on March 22. Though The Rock Shop that is rarely good tone, and the guitarist and put a lot more energy into the got a fun set. Despite the lies that got us into the war Gasoline (a southern rock band Victorians. Currently, he is the chair of was ordered by a president on a whim and in the fi rst place, and the rationalizations seen there. T. Rox is a ska bassist knew how to lead with- show and seem to enjoy them- In all it was a strange night, the English department. At the end of this from Fayetteville) was the head- cover band who covers every- out overpowering the rest of the selves so much more than as but it’s great to see several dif- Literature class, apologizing for not being authorized by a Congress in fear (not of the that keep us there, most Americans decided semester, he will be retiring, although he enemy but of unabashed politics). liner for the show, T. Rox and the thing from “Time After Time” group. This kind of organization an opener. Gasoline, like most ferent types of bands on the same in the best of moods. Rarely does Christian months ago that we must fi nd a way out of Skankosaurs (a ska band from will return in the fall to teach part time. Yes, pay homage to those whose graves this hellhole. Somehow we must fi gure out a is rare even in a concert group. southern rock, tends to sing about stage. I’ve sat through lessons from interview stop smiling and laughing as he puts his Chapel Hill), performing with The only complaint to be made whole heart into his class readings. His now dot our most hallowed grounds and way to bring our troops home. candidates vying for Christian’s position, whose lives, and deaths, shall forever in- Marko and the Rockers (also is about the vocalist. Though office is a tribute to his love of litera- Oh, I know- we broke it, and therefore we from Chapel Hill), was easily and they can’t be compared to Christian. spire and haunt those who loved them. own it. But we must let go. That should be beautiful, funny, and energetic, His mind is like a portable library and ture, full writers’ pictures and a model of just as impressive. These styles her voice leaves something to Shakespeare’s theatre. Things will be very Milestone: 4,000 and counting. the primary charge of the next administra- database. I’m always amazed how he can Headstone: the 4,000th and still counting. of music are so different, that be desired. The crowd however, different next semester when a new profes- tion. both portions of the show had not only quote a poet, but tell you who that Wait, don’t you dare try to minimize that As for those who insist that we must re- was enthralled. Singing along, Dean Sears, poet married and where he or she lived. To sor is in his office. completely different crowds. dancing, and general excitement guitarist, and Dr. Christian, I will miss your les- number by telling me how many service main in Iraq until we “win,” would you replace all the knowledge that Christian personnel were killed in one battle in one The opening band, Marko and accompanied every song and by Mike Mongol, sons, your love for your work and all the please tell me what winning is? the Rockers was far from impres- carries in his head, the English department day during World War II. Never mind, because you can’t. the end of the set the only people bassist, help will have to hire at least three professors wonderful things that you have brought to sive, but definitely got the crowd that wanted T. Rox off the stage Gasoline burn the English department and to the whole Please don’t suggest that this is a “small” You who have bought this administration’s instead of just one. price to pay for liberating a people- a people warmed up. Despite feedback were the Gasoline fans. up the stage. Methodist campus. I hope that your retire- line that Iraq is the front line of fi ghting ter- issues, predictable rhythms, and And how passionate Christian is about most Americans didn’t care about until we rorism, get real. It was in the name of fi ght- Gasoline plays an entirely dif- Photo by his work! Even after his beloved dog ment will give you as much happiness as average vocalist, the combination ferent kind of music than the Alicia Secord your job has given you. declared war on a tyrant who already was ing terrorism that we put American troops died, he showed up to my Victorian very much in check. of fun lyrics and a killer bass play- other two…southern rock. While in harm’s way, making them easy targets for er made for a decent set. Their Jessica Hiltabidle, vocalist for And by no means try to convince me that old and new foreign militants. ska is a combination of reggae eclectic style and strange holiday T. Rox and the Skankosaurs, was and big band, southern rock is this mighty toll has been worth it. This war effort has been an utter failure, a crowd favorite. Worth what? songs, such as “Valentine” and a combination of country and but the ineptness of this country’s leaders “Seasons Loathings,” definitely Photo by Alicia Secord In addition to the number of dead Ameri- should not refl ect poorly on the men and rock. Needless to say, the fans cans and the tens of thousands of innocent women who have served, and continue to dead Iraqis, far too many of our countrymen serve, their country in spite of poor deci- and women have returned home with physi- sions from Washington. cal and mental scars they will carry for the They deserve our respect and our grati- ‘Run Fatboy Run’ rest of their lives. tude, for they have done what they have Several retired generals have noted the been asked to do and much more. Roger Moore be London’s biggest loser. That his funny landlord, Mr. G. large number of injured in this war com- The sacrifi ces of those who died and who The Orlando Sentinel much is obvious when we jump (Harish Patel, just ador- pared with the ratio of death-to-wounded in returned injured shall never be diminished. (MCT) forward fi ve years to see the able), and Gordon, Dennis other confl icts. Their service was not in vain. paunchy, chain-smoking security and Fat Boy start to sprint. 3 Generations of Great Food! For every fatality in Iraq, more than seven But the best way we can honor those who There’s often a touch of the guard that Dennis has become. “You’ve never fi nished have been wounded, according to reports. remain is to fi nd a way to bring them home touching in the comedies of Brit But he’s still in touch with the anything in your life,” That compares with 2.8 injured per death in as soon as possible. Everyman Simon Pegg. “Shaun not-quite-ex because they have a Libby insists dismissively. Korea and a ratio of 2.6 in Vietnam. Let’s stop adding to the list of milestones. of the Dead” had his moments of son together. He’d love to worm Like most movies with a 3708 Ramsey Street New body armor and improved medi- For God’s sake, let us stop adding the sentiment, in between dispatch- his way back into her life. But marathon in them, the race cal treatments are saving more lives, but rows of tombstones. ing zombies. she’s taken up with the wealthy, becomes that metaphor 822-0431 But even knowing that, it’s charming American Whit (Hank for a person fi nding inner shocking how sweet his latest, Azaria), a hedge fund broker and resources that change his or “Run Fatboy Run,” turns out athlete. her life. Dedeaux’s Java Shop to be. A less-than-outrageous “He runs marathons!” Schwimmer fi lls out his Director David Schwimmer, from left, Thandie Newton and Simon party-stop romantic farce, it stops and takes “Why?” cast with a nice cross-sec- Pegg arrive at the premiere for “Run Fatboy Run,” held at the Arclight the time to let us say, “Awwww,” Eventually, this too-leisurely tion of Brit character actors, Theatre in Hollywood, California, March 24, 2008. Coffee House & Internet Cafe often at the expense of laughs. comedy gets down to its busi- including “Little Britain” (Fitzroy Barrett/Landov/MCT) Pegg plays Dennis, whom ness, which is Dennis taking cross-dresser David Walliams. *balloon bouquets * giftbaskets we meet in mid-panic attack up the challenge of running a Schwimmer smartly withholds to Pegg’s shtick, which means 3 stars (out of 5) 4808 Ramsey Street Ste. 102 on his wedding day. He’s about marathon with Whit. He must fi nal judgment on Whit and two thirds of the movie isn’t that Cast: Simon Pegg, Thandie * heart chocolates * teddy bears to marry the stunning Libby train. He must diet. He must marathoning and makes the real funny. Newton, Hank Azaria, Dylan Fayetteville, NC 28311 (Thandie Newton). She’s having fi nish, because there are side bets story about what Dennis must do It has meaning and sentiment Moran. free deliveries on most orders his baby. It’s going to be a big that involve his back rent and his to become a better man. and a nice pay-off for its fi nale. Director: David Schwimmer. (Across from Pizza Hut) ceremony. always-broke best mate, Gordon Pegg may not be the most But without more laughs, “Run Running time: 1 hour, 35 And all Dennis can do is run (scene-stealer Dylan Moran). convincing “fat boy,” but he’s Fatboy Run” is awfully winded minutes. mu students and military: 10% off with id for his life. That’s when this comedy, on his game here, his expressive by the time it crosses the fi nish Industry rating: PG-13 for 5804 yadkin rd., fayetteville, 488-7700/587-9683 910-482-8518 What kind of knob leaves a directed by “Friends” alum face contorted into pain, panic line. some rude and sexual humor, woman who looks like Thandie David Schwimmer, fi nds its and prickliness. Azaria and New- nudity, language and smoking. Bring in this ad and receive a 10% Discount! Newton at the altar? Dennis must footing. Training with the help of ton are basically straight-men www.party-stop.com 8 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 5 Columbia Picture’s ‘21’ is a Bust By Christopher Kelly McClatchy Newspapers (MCT) A few things you will not learn while watching “21”: You will not learn how to play blackjack, Opinions despite the fact that the movie is, um, titled “21” and is about a Ashley group of M.I.T. students who earn hundreds of thousands of dollars If you were a cartoon character, which would you be and why? playing said card game. Asks... You will not learn how to count Ashley Young News Editor cards, despite the fact that this “I would John from is the method the students use to “I would like to be like win all that money. ‘Garfield’ because we are “‘The Simpsons’ You will not learn how long both unlucky.” -Winston ‘My Little Pony’ because because everything their elaborate scheme carries on, Tatum, a freshman and I could fly and smell is so funny.” -Chris or whether there are any legal like gumdrops.” -Tenille repercussions to their actions, an environmental science Coats, a junior, and major. Woodward, a senior, and a despite the fact that the film is political science major. a political science based on a nonfiction book titled major. “Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions” by Ben Mezrich. What you will learn, though this much you probably already knew, is that Hollywood has an uncanny knack for taking poten- tially provocative material and dumbing it down to the point of Loeb respected the audience’s “Curious George complete irrelevancy. intelligence, they might have used this story as the springboard Ben Campbell (Jim Johnny Bravo because he “I’d have to be Superman because my four year Presumably set in the present Sturgess, pictured) is day (“21” doesn’t just skimp on for a rich and gripping proce- gets all the ladies!” –Rickey because he has the ability old gets into as much dural, a movie that allowed us to recruited to join M.I.T.’s Lozotte, a freshman, and an to help others in need.” mischief as that little the details, it doesn’t believe in blackjack team, a group of details, period), the film intro- understand the ins and outs of a exercise science major. –Horace Hemley, a junior, monkey!” -Arleen duces us to Ben Campbell (Jim complex and constantly chang- students that uses smarts ing betting system. Instead, “21” and skills to take Vegas and a computer science Fields, Archives Sturgess, from “Across the major. Librarian in the Davis Universe”), an extremely gifted serves up a harebrained back- for millions in Columbia student who instantly impresses story (Ben needs to earn money Pictures’ “21.” Memorial Library. his professor Micky Rosa (Kevin so that he can pay for Harvard (Columbia Pictures/ Medical School which apparently Spacey). It turns out that Micky MCT) is also the leader of a gambling no longer offers student loans), a Box Office Preview hackneyed central conflict (Ben By Stephen Becker SMART PEOPLE - Dennis ring at the university: He oversees a group of students who travel eventually decides he’s too good The Dallas Morning News Quaid stars as a widowed pro- at card counting to need Micky’s wasted, as one plot point after an- (MCT) fessor who finds a new love. to Las Vegas each weekend and manage to elude the eagle eyes help anymore), and an utterly other goes unaddressed. (Why do Opening April 11: Thomas Haden Church, Sarah ludicrous subplot (Laurence Fish- the students always stay together CHAOS THEORY - An Jessica Parker and Ellen Page of the casino operators who are forever on the lookout for card burne plays the Las Vegas securi- in a pricey hotel suite, when “The road runner ultra-organized man is forced also star. ty expert who’s trying to catch the they’re not supposed to be seen to live his life more serendipi- STREET KINGS - Keanu counters and return back to Mas- because I’m always sachusetts tens of thousands of students, to prove the inadequacy together? How is it that they man- on the go!” -Frank E. tously. Reeves stars as a police officer of the computerized security sys- age to leave the casinos with such PROM NIGHT - A killer accused of killing a fellow cop. dollars richer. Moses Jr., a senior, Had director Robert Luketic tems being installed throughout of vast sums without ever having to goes and interrupts high Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie the city). Little of this, of course, report their income to the I.R.S.?) and a social work school’s biggest event. and Chris Evans also star. (“Legally Blonde”) and screen- writers Peter Steinfeld and Allan appears in Mezrich’s book, which Scene to scene, the movie holds major. seems to have been together, if you stumble upon it filtered through a on HBO in two years, you might computer program even sit through it until the end. designed to create But you’re never able to shake the completely generic feeling that it’s both pointless and Hollywood potboil- worthless. In the parlance of the ers. gambling tables, it’s a bust. Along the way, an attractive young cast, 2 stars (out of 5) which includes Kate Director: Robert Luketic LIVE-IN NANNY WANTED for summer months: Energetic, easy-going, Bosworth (“Super- Stars: Jim Sturgess, Kevin man Returns”), patient MU student to help a stay-at-home mom for the summer months with 2 Spacey healthy, active little boys ages 1 and 3. Free room/partial board in exchange for up Aaron Yoo (“Dis- Length: 123 min. to 20 hrs per week (usually will be much less). Non-smoker only, off-street parking, turbia”) and Jacob Rated: PG-13 (violence, sexual private furnished room w/bath, storage available, female only, 5 min commute to Pitts (“Quarterlife”) content, partial nudity) MU, babysitting experience required, character references required, background as Ben’s partners- check will be conducted, Christian preferred, early childhood or in-card-counting, is elementary education major a plus. Call 910-488-7460 to schedule an interview. A great opportunity for a student looking to stay in town over summer, no lease to sign, still have another part-time job, live with a real family, etc. 4 smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Methodist comes together for Campus crimes Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 9 Show You Care Day and punishment Alicia Secord Staff Writer Sports Every spring for over two de- rent events to open up a dialogue cades, Methodist students, faculty, with the community and keep peo- and staff have come together to ple aware of campus limits and make the school a better place. processes,” said Hamerla. This year Show You Care Day fo- “The person responsible cused on beautification, safety, and for the pentagram in the woods handicap access. Flowers were voluntarily confessed and is no SPRING MONARCH UPDATES planted around the Davis Memori- longer a student at Methodist Uni- al Library and the Berns Student versity. In my ten years of being Center. Also vegetation was here I don’t recall anything like Farewell to the 2008 spring season cleared behind the Pines Apart- this occurring,” said Mr. William ments, and the handicap access Dawn Hamerla, Methodist Chief of H. Walker, Senior Associate Dean ramp from the downstairs to up- Police of Students and Campus Judicial The Monarchs Baseball team has had a great stairs of the Berns was replaced. Officer. season, the record is 20 wins, nine losses, and Show You Care Day was start- The Monarch Softball team is ed in the mid-1980s by the men’s Students, staff, and faculty plant flowers outside of Career Services one tie. The Monarchs are looking to repeat a by the Green and Gold Cafe. Daniel Lee Suspects Intrude on ranked 11th in NCAA Division III. bid to the NCAA Division III and women’s soccer coaches, Al- Photos by Roxana Ross Staff Writer len Dawson and Joe Ferrera. Now Methodist’s Campus The team looks to three-peat as Tourmament. it is directed by William Walker, USA South Conference Tourna- Sticks Found in Woods The action continued on Mar. 14 Senior Associate Dean for Student ment Champions and three-peat Pictured left is Sophomore Pitcher Fred Geisinger Development & Services. Walker program, this was not the best job ect this is the only time that a when two suspects fled onto Meth- to undertake. The ramp was only bunch of different campus organi- A pentagram made from sticks odist’s campus. a bid to the NCAA Division III not only organizes the activities on was discovered in the woods on Photo by Kasey Nichols the day of the event but also heads about a quarter of the way com- zations do something together. “Two suspects were being ar- Tournament. pleted by the time the event ended Plus when you’re walking around Mar. 12 beside the walking path rested on felony charges by Fay- the committee that decides which behind Sanford and Cumberland. April 10- Baseball Game at 6 p.m. projects should be undertaken each and the maintenance crew was left with other students the next day etteville police. During the arrest, Pictured right is Junior Third to finish the job on Monday and and you can say, ‘I built that ramp’ “A staff member discov- the subjects fled onto campus and Baseman Kayla Talbert. year. The committee accepts sug- ered a site in the woods behind gestions from the Methodist com- Tuesday of the following week. or ‘I planted those flowers.’” Officer Bandy pursued them. The This meant that the path from the Though many students did not Sanford and Cumberland on the subjects were most likely unarmed Photo Courtesy of munity during the first part of each morning of Mar. 12th. It was de- Sports Information. spring semester to get an idea of Berns to the parking lot below was attend Show You Care Day there and were not caught while still on blocked which made wheelchair was a lot of effort put forth in order scribed as a group of sticks shaped campus,” said Hamerla. what improvements should be like a pentagram. I was informed made to the campus. They also de- access even more restricted. While to improve Methodist’s campus. Officer John Bandy is a member upkeep and repair of existing of the situation and Lt. Bird was of the Methodist police force. April 9- Softball Game at 2:30 p.m. The Men’s Tennis Team has had an cide which ideas are most possible sent to investigate,” said Dawn and necessary. ramps is important to handicap ac- “It is my understanding interesting season. Although the cessibility new ramps and access Hamerla, Methodist Chief of Po- that two police suspects ran overall record is not as appealing Presenting a positive impres- lice and Director of Public Safety. sion to visitors is important to the points are necessary for the school through the woods into the Pines as one might wish, the USA South to truly be handicap convenient. Lt. Janet Bird is the As- Apartments area. Bandy pursued Methodist students and faculty. sistant Director of Public Safety. record is perfect. The Men have “Image is everything,” said Jar- The same good intentions the intruders while Public Safety were applied to the Pines Apart- “I saw a pentagram made of informed residents of the situation an overall record of four wins, six rel McRae, an RA. sticks next to the walking path. A When visitors come to Method- ment project. The project in- and reminded them to stay safe,” losses with three wins in the con- volved clearing dead vegetation small pile of burnt pine straw, the said Walker. “In my ten years of ference. ist the first thing they see is the size of a soda can, was next to the grounds, ornamental flower beds behind the apartments in the di- being at Methodist there have been rection of the Cape Fear River symbol. I destroyed the symbol no more than three incidents of in- Pictured Right is Sophomore and manicured lawns. Beautifica- and scattered the sticks. After my tion near Berns and the library in- Trail. This was done in an at- trusions on campus.” Andrew Fletcher tempt to keep students safe. initial report the investigation was According to Walker, the sus- volved pulling weeds from exist- continued by Campus Police,” ing beds, removing pine straw, “We’re doing this so that stu- pects escaped from the campus but Photos by Kasey Nichols dents can see anyone coming up said Bird. were later apprehended by the fed- planting flowers, and laying down “No immediate hazard mulch. While the beds near the li- behind the apartments,” stated eral police department. Thanks to April 13- Men’s Tennis Match at 11 a.m. Alex Ybarra, an RA in Sanford was posed to the community be- the work of the Methodist police brary merely needed sprucing up cause of this incident. A student much of the vegetation around the Hall. force residents on campus remain While this is a great intention, has already confessed to this crime safe and sound. April 12 Monarch’s Lacrosse had Berns is entirely new. Both areas and is no longer associated with now look much tidier and well students could have been out a difficult season, while battling there all week and there would the University,” said Hamerla. Contributions by Ashley Young, Women’s Tennis injuries, the ladies have had to taken care of. Hamerla said that David Dallas One area in which Methodist have still been more vegetation News Editor. Match play some games with less than a to clear. Being that it is the of Cumberland County Sheriff’s needs to improve is its handicap Office came to investigate the in- 11 a.m. full team, but have managed to accessibility. In an attempt to rem- woods, there will always be vegetation growing there. cident. According to Dallas, the hold their own. As of Friday, the edy this situation students began site was associated with Wicca ac- rebuilding the handicap access At the end of the morning record was three wins and eight work session, students felt ac- tivity. Wicca is a Neopagan earth- The Women’s Tennis team has has a remarkable season. They ramp which extends from the up- centered religious group that prac- losses. stairs level of the Berns to the complished and proud of what have also had perfect record within the USA South Conference, they had done. Alicia Bates, a tices witchcraft. Hamerla also said parking lot. that she has no reason to believe with an overall record of 12 wins and three losses. The women Pictured left is Senior Crystal Many students, including Keva SAC member, said that she Show You Care Day participants work are looking to repeat as Conference Tournament Champions comes to Show You Care Day be- on the ramp out by Berns Student there is a cult on campus and this Bradley. Wilson felt that “every student Center. was an isolated incident. and a bid to the NCAA Division III Tournament. should have equal access to the fa- cause, Photo by Kasey Nichols “It’s great to work with the oth- “We can use this incident as an cilities here at Methodist.” opportunity to teach students about Pictured above are Seniors Jenny Smith and Tiffany Tucker The problem is, for a two hour er groups on campus. Other than the Jesse Smith Woodcutting Proj- crime prevention. I try to use cur- Photo by Kasey Nichols 10smallTALK April 7, 2008 Volume 47, Issue 11 Volume 47, Issue 11 smallTALK April 7, 2008 3