Bar e " Facts
PIRE DRILL The alarm yesterday evenlng was a prearranged fire practice to see how the new stewarding system worked. No further drills will be operated this term, but I am sure you appreciate that we had to DHIVKRSITy BaCKS OHIOB IH HMK« FARW DISPOTB do one on this occasion in anticipation of tonlghts disco. A special meeting of the University pacilltiés Committee has defeated the attempts by the Sports The last Free Disco cost £400 in lost glasees, so Director, Brian Naysmith, to prevent the formation in future please leave your glasses behind if you of a Manor Farm club. have to evacuate. Anyone who interferes in an évacuation of Union House will be dealt with by The Club is needed to allow 4.30 p.m. opening of Club Committee and they are likely to be suspended the Sports pavilion Bar, but some of the Sports from Union Membership for several months. Safety Hall staff believe that the arrangement would take is the paramount considération in the way the Union the running of the bar cut of their hands. is operated.
The Sports Director felt that the issues If you have no picked up one of the orange leaflets surrounding Manor Parm had not been fully on fire and safety they will be distributed tonight discussed, so the Facilities Committee met last as you come into the disco. week to discuss Kr. Nayemith's motion to withdraw support for a Club licence. MEW STAFF Welcome of Joyce Benson, working at the Trading The case fot the Union was put by myself, Andy Bunn Desk and Peter Askey the new trainee bar manager. and the PGö Rep, Rie Jordan. After 1^/2 houce of intense discussion the committee went to the vote, resultlng in the motion being defeated. ana odMr siili gtbfitS ttf g The Oniversity Assistant Secretary, Brian Barnard, is now drafting the constitution fot the Club which 1Q|W|E|R|T |Y|U| np]^ TT will in due course be submitted to the Clerk to the I^SIDIFIGIHIJIKÌL XlCIVlBlNlMr Justices. The Onion hopee that the Sports Hall H staff will now accept the Committee's décision and give their full support to the Manor Farm Club. Well,the end of last term certainly gave a whole new meanlng to "Ed.*s not well".Struck down ANHDAL OWICW SDBVBMTKM» - This Ì8 the money I was,lQcapacitated,kaput.A sorry state of affaira granted to us each year by the University from rectified by the assorted Sisters in Sick Bay,so Government funds. In the summet term a submission before anything else,many thanks to theo all. is made to a group of oniversity officers, who then make recomnendations to the Finance and General Glandular Fever now receding into the dlm purposes committee. Last year we recelved and distant (fingere crossed) past.back to the £195,200. I will be presenting a paper to the business of surviving another term.After the Finance committee next Kednesday containing rlotous end to last term (Free Disco and all that), proposais for next year's Grant. I hope everyone is back to a home-induced state of faealthfhappiness,Joie de vive,and especially wealth. BATCH 1% CAMPAI GW - Por Third World aid continues Rlght,next point is what the 'kin 'eil are with a talk by Steve Morgan from War on Want. This all these ducks dolng on campus,eh ? on every will include information on the work being done in corner ther seems to be a couple of mallards ready Nicaragua. This meeting is today (Priday), 1.00 to either straff us with quacks.or send us flying p.m. in Room 103. Next wednesday is a talk by an by tripping us up.In my opinion every duck found organiser from Voluntary Service overseas. vaddllng in convoy,or for that matter tracked down to any part of campus,sbould be immedlatly clamped GKHBRAL MEETIHG - next Tuesday will be discussing by securlty,péndlng a heavy fine.Yes,if security our policy towards Onion staff in the light of the can clamp the Ed.,then why not these obviously disasttous Rag stunt at the GH in the last week of demented ducks.Your views on this worrying problem term. There will also be détails on the to the BF box,please. continuation of the Fowler campaign and other events for this term. Of course all your letters,personáis and assorted pleces of tissue paper should now be thrust straight Into the affermentioned CLDB AMP SOCIETY PHOTOCOPYIHG - thiS will now be receptical as soon as a burning issue arises,so, done using the new card system. The cards are with plenty going on in the world,on campus,and available from the Trading Desk. in the duck pond,we are Just walting to hear from YOU. PHOtreCARD TELKPHOllE - We have been let down by British Telecom, who should have installed the Have a good term, phonecard and large dénomination coin téléphonés by Go on,write to us, Pretty please, this week. We hope to have them installed outside —Andy XXXXX the Bare Facts office within a fortnlght. In the meantime overseas calis can be made 9.Û0 a.m-S.OO p.m. via the Trading Desk. CLUB NEWS
qppBR BAR SEATS - They have been removed for There will be another Cocktail Evening in the re-cover Ing as the foam coming out of them Lower Bar this Thursday at 7.30pm.As usual,smart constituted a fire hazard. They will bs refitted dress please (no Jeans).A new cocktail menu after the Free Disco. will be on offer,and entrance Is only 40p. PRINTED BY UNIVERSITY OF SURREY STUDENTS' UNION ENTER TAIN MENTS COLENSO PARADE M© HO Wtaat wlth ail that bard work students are expected Taklng tbe name from a Belfast Street, thls young to do In tbis the tbird tem.you're ail golsg to need Irish flve-piece have made a name for themselves out- some distractions In the form of good cl' EHTS slde their homeland with remarkable speed. Convinced 8o bere's tbe story so far. of thelr ability and musical depth, they seem to have After sene successful post-grad Eats duriz^ the convinced a lot of other people too, provoklng such boliday, especially the Free Disco on the Ilth(vith articúlate press quotes as "full of searlng light and knocklng on for 1000 people tbere)tbe first Iten on brooding shade" and " a sound that can only be describ- thls term's agenda tak<:-9 place thls Sunday.Promislng ed as wonderfully epic". and energetic Irlsb band COLEKSO PARADE will be playing With ex-members from auch touted band Ruefrex and live In your Union this Sunday, taklng tbe stage nodding thelr Influences in the direction of the Buzz- between 9.00 and 9.30. For more info on thls acclaimed cocks, Wire and Tbe Bunnymen, Colenso Parade seem det- bunch, see the 'in-depth' article on thls very page. ermined to stamp out ali that is weak and bland in mu- On the subject of Sunday bands, there's a very sic. Tbey would admit to playlng pop, but their's Is healthy line-up comlng your way after Colenso Parade. no throwaway pop. It is a mature blend of accompllshed Next Sunday it's the turn of Outbar, then it's The and dMlnafit gu.ltar, subtle keyboards and a distlnct- Queer Boys (wbo were orlginally booked to play last ive, powerful vocal. Emphasising tbe Importance of term)and then it's Sane Gang stablemates The Dalntees. rythyn (they cali thelr music "dance music for people More extensive information will appear In tbese very who can't dance"), they won't deny aiming for a grand- pages In tbe comlng weeks ,so keep readln'. iose overall sound. The music does come aerose as pas- sionate and even heart-rending, and occaslonally you Thls takes us up to the weekend beglnnlng 23rd May, do recognlse a hlnt of Edge-influenced gultar, but whlch,as you ali know,is tbe start of tbe mammoth, one thing they don't want to be is another aspirlng unbellev.'tble, bit-you-rlght-between-the-eyes ,four Stadium rock-band, Tbeir debut single "standing up" day extavaganza knora as NOT THE FREE FEST..]! wbich was played to deatb on nigbtime Radio (and sta- Définîtes so far for thls legendary event are rted them off on the right foot down south) and their excellent satirlcal band SKINT VIDEO (seen recently current single "Down By Tbe Border" successfully ach- on the Red Wedge comedy tour). Then there's a «eli leve on vinyl the feeling they try to convey on stage. respected hypnotlst by the nane of EDWIN HEATH, and the classy and originai JAZAVAKI,who'll be performing Determined, and armed wlth the musical punch, thelr extensive of Jazz-wlth-a-difference.Fun band thelr invitation to impress is open to you thls Sunday The PIRHANAS will be addlng a bit of splce to the evenlng in the Union Lounge. Student band compétition,witb ANDY KERSHAW sittlng on M.J. the panel of judges.An exact programme detailing tbese and the nany otber events of the weekend will be available nearer the time, when everythlng has been HYDRON confirmedibut as you can see,you'Id be a right gizard SOFT < to miss the fest. DAILYWEAR Still on the same subJect....there's this little matter of a LOGO.Yes, we stili requlre an imaginative Free NHS CONTACT tiogo for the T-shirts.The compétition announced last LENSES term is still on, and tbe pri>te vili be the only ezisting Free Fest Sweat8hirt(with logo, of course). E X a m i n a t i o n s £67.00 Please....get your artistic hats on. As for the Student band compétition, well tbat's going well, but If anyone Is still interested in entering thelr band,then the closing date is the end FIRST SIGHT • of next week,Frlday 2nd May....application forms can be procured from Andy Batty. Of course, don't foz^et tbe Main Ball gigs this tem. So far we've got THE ENID on May lOth, and DOCTOR AND THE MEDiCS on June 14th. Tickets are OPTICIANS • available from tbe Trading Desk and more détails o< The Best Price COMPLETE these and any otber gigs will follow as soon as poss. tbat's all for no«, » in SPECTACLES cheers M.J. I Sight from Ù •> 3-1 cns.ss.
Top of the moming, summer term-ites,and welcome to the soaraway Engllsh summer.Yes, as we laze around in the blazing heat in Shirt sleeves and shorts and TEL 506693 get the suntan lotions in early don't you just wish you were 10 of latitude doser to the equat- MARKET STREETENTRANCE or ? Bave to write to Jim'll fix it. LOWER GROUND FLOOR Anyway hope you had a good break unlike Dennis Tay- lor in the current Embassy World Professional Snooker Champlonships. With the popular Irishman THE ARMY & IMAVY out in the Ist round, this gives the even more popu- On tbe racing front, West-Tip at 15-2 proved a good lar Irishman- the peoplrs champion, no lese a great tip and won the Grand National, whilst thls coluan's chance to blow hls way to the final, where It seems selection, Greasepaint, slld down to lOtb. This puts he will elther meet the insommides best friend, US £6.83 in arrears to a £1 stake, although l'm Cllff Boreyawn, Steve "Slight Breeze" Davis or tbe much hoplng tbat tbis deficit can be mltigated with great Jimmy White- no prlzes for guessing who my SBASTRANI £1 win in the Guardian Classic trial at hard earned cash is on. Sar.âown on Saturday. This classy borse is owned by Well, besides tbe saooker, Easter saw a lot more the Aga Ehan-as was the infamous Sbergar- lets hope sportlng action with England predictably blackwabed he has the same ability but escapes tbe pet food in the West Indles- and even Bothams gone to pot- market, unlike bis predecessor. wbilst it's a Scouseside battle for noth league and Anyway, enough for now- just to say good luck to ali FA Cup honours- although tbe Wéstham boys have got those involved in tbe mental workouts at the Sports up and began to go-go. l'm hedging my bets bere, and Hall and see you at tbe Free Disco. forecast tbe Bluer to lift the title, the Reds tbe Yours in turf, Cup but no return for the claret and blue. Bertie Bingo. BRITISH COUNCIL Allson Sharrock, tbe British Council VICE-PRESIDENT representativo will be vlsitlng the Union as usual on Wednesdays durlng tbe summer term. Sbe will be in tbe well once again into the fray of academlc work and Vice President's office from 1315 to 1415 every «eek heavy drinklngl Yes its back to the old routine for me from the 30 April untll the 25 June. as well. I hope tbat you all had nice peaceful relaxing bolidaya, l'm certainly glad that I did. BOOKS At the moment I bave a catalogue from Zed books Unfortunately its back to work and the old grind of which is a small publlshers whlch specialises In Thlrd writing about really depressing subjects. World Books. If any individual or club or society Is interested in looking at this catalogne please come and see me. GRAMTS Uost LEA's should bave worked out how much to give you by now and be able to pay your grants at the Mr John Fisher has kindly donated a selection of engin- beginning of the term. However, if anyone does not eering and social science books. If anyone would like receive thelr grant cheques wlthin the first week please to look through them and posslble keep some would they come and see me and I will try and find out what has please come and see me. bappened to it and wben It is likely to be pald. COMMITTEES H0D8ING BENEFIT Yes those elusive benefits that never WELFARE committee will be held tbis Friday at Ipm in seem to arrive on the doormat. The latest from the room 103 anyone is welcome to attend. For interest tbe Council Is that they have been furtber delayed due to agenda is on the union commlttees board wbich is to be tbe breaklng down of their computer recently, however, found by tbe travel bureau. it is now working and they are gradually getting through the backlog. So it really Is a case of being patlent EDUCATION committee will be held at the same time next and waittng for it to arrive. If you are havlng real friday and the agenda for thls meeting will be pinned Problems financlally please come and see me and I will on the noticeboard at tbe beginning of next week. contact the Council on your bebalf to try and speed the process up. Also I am going to contact the Council OVERSEAS committee will be held on Ist May at 5.30 pm Indicatlng to them the flnanclal Situation that students in the Union Lounge , PLEASE NOTE THE CHANCE IN TIME face in an attempt to make the system more efficient AND VENUE. We will be dlscusslng the budgets for tbe and quicker . forthcoming year so will all clubs and societies pleas send a rep along. Also we will be dlscusslng the possibillty of starting up a flexible budgèt system If anyone has paid rent for the Easter vacation and Jt wltbln the overseas societies hasn't yet clalmed rent rebate you're not too late. The • Council will still accept Claim forms up until the end of May , and tbe Claim forms can be obtained from the Enjoy yojfrself and don't drink too much at the Free magazine racks outside m^ office. Disco.
ACADEMIC PROBLEMS Wlth exams being the main Item on tbe agenda for most students tbere are going to be a few who for various reasons are going to suffer problema with their work. If you feel that you are haing problema please contact either myself or your personal tutor to get them sorted out. It is important that you Infora either as soon as posslble since It is vital that your academlc work suffers as little as posslble.
SOFTLENS PRACTICE 51 Goodge St., London W1. Tel: 01 631 1000
By appointment only ^CAREERS SERVICE^ CAREERS COLUMN
Is there life beyond the Milkround?
Perhaps you have had no second interview successes, SOUTHAMPTON UMIVERSITY or no second interviews at ali - what then? Certainly, don't panie! There will be plenty more opportunities fot findiog that job you wanc. The main thing at the moment is to get finals over and IS HOLDING A get as good a degree as possible. MINI-MILKROUND What then?
Hemember that 70Z of Surrey graduates entering DURING THE WEEKS COMMENCING employment find their jobs through sources other than the Mllkround. Certainly, however, it has been valuable interview experience, which you ean build on. 16 AND 23 JUNE Frobably the most important source of job Information available is the University and Polytechnic Careers OPEN TO NON-SOUTHAMPTON STUDENTS Services publication, "Current Vacancies", which is published every two weeks and can be picked up in the Careers Service. You should be consulting it now for possible vacancies. FOR FURTHER DETAILS In June and July, a number of uniyersities around the country will be running Summer Fairs, and we will be running a small event of our own on Wednesday, CONTACT THE CAREERS SERVICE HERE 4th June. These can be a useful way of contacting employers. We will publish Information in "Bare Facts" as it beeomes available. Full details, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE including the names of eiqployers visiting each fair, will be included in later editions of "Current Vacancies".
Keep your eyes on newspapers and periodicale too. Many suitable jobs are advertised, even though the employer may not have considered graduates as potential candìdates. «
^CAREERS SERVICE ^CAREERS SERVICE'
Come into the Careers Service from tiroe to tlme. Many einployers advise us of vacancies, and ali notifications are placed in our Current Vacancies CALUING ALL FINALISTSÌ files and on notice boards - specialist vacancies on che relevant Departmental Careers Notice Boards and general vacancies on our board in the Lecture Theatre Concourse.
SUMKER RECRUITMENT FAIR Finally, your Careers Service is here to help, so if you have problema, do come and see us.
Peter Swift WE ARE ORGANISING STAGE MANAGER A SUMMER RECRUITMENT FAIR Hippie bas glven up bis Job as Stage Manager along vlth his hair, I bave now asked to take over TO BE HELD IN bis Job.so here is a new installaent of Crev News:
FRIDAY THE LECTURE THEATRE CONCOURSE Free Disco. 2.00 get in.
SATURDAY ON WEDNESDAY ^ JUNE The first anazing lower bar disco of the term,
SUNDAY Sunday Night Band. Colenso Parade, 4.00 start. Also DETAILS TO BE ADVERTISED LATER lights for Dance Studies in the hall. TUBSDAY G.H., no ballroom dancing. SO WEDNESDAY KEEP A LOOK OUT! Orgy in Sheridan's room. FRIDAY Lower Bar Disco.
SATURDAY MARTIN. ^CAREERS SERVICE* Lower Bar Disco. tXTERNA»^ GOES TO CIN
Dear Raunchy Students outside in acedemicland. Before deleft âS^^e^ attempting to start I would like to thank Sallie for all her help last year and I hope that now she is the It's my job to oversee the runniag of grand old age of 20 she"ll still manage to help Extern Clubs and Societies especially political, al Affairs through this difficult tezin. religious, and miscellaneous societies. Onto tbe So if you need any help with the running External Affairs bit,I'm afraid I dont have that much to of your clubs or societies; say,it being the first 3 days in office ! I've also 1. Get a copy of the 'Beano' annual. managed to fall my exams.In my endever to promote extern 2. See the:- na affairs outside tbe ouspice the student Union I ventu Internal Affairs Officer- (religious, red down to Gulldfords Cinderelas Rockaffelas (yes risk political and miscellaneous societies) ed what ever street creed I have )wlth Gill hodge Sally Sports Officer - Sports Clubs. and others who shall remain nameless.Joing a circle off Arts Officer - Arts Societies. the towns people who qulcly vacted the area was it my BO Overseas Officer - Sectarian. or the rater large ear-rings.We advanced onto the"dance Vice President - Departmental. floor" being unpriterbed by the initial reaction The young ladys bad managed to forget there handbags so The dates for the Internal affaire meetings yet again we did not quite fit in abd all those there in the third term are as follows; left .I'm going to try again at the Alternative evening 1 May - Boom 102 - 7-8pm a week on Thursday so why not Join us. IS Hay - Room 102 - S-6pm If tbere 29 May - Room 102 - 5-6pm is anything you would like from Exrnal Affairs please 12 June- Room 102 - 5-6pm pop down to the meeting Thür 8th Soclock onward room 102 (thats down stairs) Help make it corate !I!i Items to be included on the Agenda at the For thos first meeting are:- e intrested Women Now hold a discussion group every Wedn - disciplinary action to be brought esday between 1 and 2 This week is 'Give Victims Support against Alan Murray. Scheme ' at Guildford Institute Word Street. - disciplinary action to be taken against Hopefully thé Mountineering Club as regards mis- next week will be more organised better on tbe type use of Union minibuses. writer and more External Yours Externaly Items for the Agenda must be submitted either by handing in to me or placed in my pigeon Adam hole in the Union, by 1pm of the Wednesday before the meeting. Will all Union Officials please be sure to attend as these are important items wlt^st^lnj from last term. RAIISOC Helen Beres. (I.A.O.) RlAIWi « TRAVEL »
WafcHouîeS-llprr, "ííamairs?mm. Orb^^R^dinq OIK
For further details drop a note in the Railsoc pigeonhole .To t>ook, add your name to the lists in the sec j^otf meu ! Union (NEAR THE CARD ROOM). MATCH 1°/o
BJ R MJJM GM AJVI ? CAIVIPAIC3IM
WELJCŒ BACK TO A NEW TERM AND A NEW TYPEFACE/ RAG ARE INTENDING TO MOUNT ANOTHER MASSIVE RAID ON "THE NORTH , IN THIS CASE THE SPRAWLING INDUSTRIAL WAR ON WANT ME6R0P0LIS OF BIRMINGHAM " IF ENOUGH OF YOU WANT TO. IT IS VITAL THAT ALL THOSE WHO SAY THEY WILL " DO ! SO IF YOU WANT TO SACRIFICE A WEEKEND OF TOTAL BORE" - NICARAGUA DCM IN THE UNION AND ENDURE A JOLLY JALNT TO/ AMONG OTHER PLACES SPAGETTI JUNCTION, RAISE MONEY FOR MUCH DESERVING CHARITIES AND PROBABLY GET DRUNK/ WATCH OUT FOR SPECTACULAR RAG POSTERS APPEARING IN YOUR KUB. FRIDAY 1PM 103 NEXT WEEKS RAG MEETING^ IN 103 AT 6 O'CLOCK ON TUESDAY, WILL INVOLVE MAJOR POLICY DESISIONS SO ALL RAR PEOPLE MUST TURN UP - N0.6 RAR PUNIHMETIT IF YOU DON'T. VOLUNTARY FINALLY RAG MUST HAVE ALOT MORE JOKES FOR THE MAG AND REVUE OTHERWISE WE LL HAVE TO USE RICHARDS, SO GET SCRIBBLING OR ELSE. SERVICE GOOD LUCK WITH THE XXXXX NIC OVERSEAS @ MVIK^KS e *Motorcycle Club: B.M.F, Rally 17thl*H&c AGM Friday 2nd May WED 30th APRIL 7PM 102 18th May: If anyone is interested \ 5.30pm LTE in going, put your nane on the ]| ^g^y people as possible please' *Anyone who wishes to be considered notice board by Friday 25th. for the University athletics team for the UAU compétition on 4/5 May, please contact: FROM A SURREYITE DOWN UNDER Richard Gibbone 12 Stag Hill Margot Wells Sports Hall G'day Folks! •Hiking Club: Friday 25th Aprii, trip to Hales. Meet Senate steps Hell after seeing the request in the rather tcendy l.y. Post for letters 5.30pm to return on Sunday. fron people out in exotic places such as Australia, Glasgow and Barry •Gilbert 4 Sullivan Soc AGM Thürs (sorry Martin!) how could I ignore such a desperate plea (and God you must May 8th 7.30pm LTJ -Check G&S be desperate!}. Thus, this is but a small offering from 'Down Dnder' (Andy ÜPH for details. Bunn would know all about thati ) containing a few observations on the *RailSoc - Advanced notice that Aussie way of life. Railsoc AGM (to be followed by selection óf railway films) will be on Tues 13th May in LT6 at The big news at present in these parts is that the Aussie Sules Football 7.30pm- Ail support welcome. season has just started, a game for which the word rules is used in a very loose context. Stili, it gives the 'surfies' something to do now the First trip this term will be to summer is over. Currently Australia is in the grip of 'Young Ones' fever, the Settie and Carlisle line on the first series now being repeated by popular demand. This is an Sat lOth May. Full details of this indication of how long it can take certain things like T.V. programmes and & other events this term may be music to reach here. Although there is a great deal of interest in found on the Railsoc notice board 'overseas' music bere there are some very good bands in this country* on the Stage in the Union. Bands which are well worth listening to include Midnight Oil, The Models, INXS and The Hoodoo Gurns besides lesser known bands (but egually as good) such as The Triffids and the Go-Betweens (both of which tour extensively in the O.K.). FOR SALE
Except for the odd incident, such as the recent car bombing in Melbourne, »Hoog Opus 3 Synthesizer.Fully life In Australia is guite 'laid back' which partly contributes to this polyphonie. £300 ono - Cath Court country having economic and social problema just like others Inspite of the 3A/H fact that it has such enormous potential. Life certainly isn't guiet here «Records, Cassettes and singles. though if you know where to go. Generally the people here are very Over 700, all mint cond, bargain friendly and yes, they do use such phrases as 'G'day', 'Fair Dinkum', prices. Contact Sean Corfield for •sport' and 'Cobber'. As a 'Pom' you do get loads of stick down here but full list, via UPH 'C or room they like us really (its just talk about convicts and The Ashes that gets 16AA21 (Afternoons). them upset!). •"University Of Surrey Academic Dress (Ede and Ravenscroft) All in all Australia is certainly a place worth visiting sometine, if you HSc £49 ono get the chance, but be prepared to travel as it is a vast country and there Current cost to buy: Mortar Board £21.25 Is plenty to see. (Size 7 1/8) I look forward to seeing you all in October - hello to the rest of the Gown(5'4" to 5'9") approx £S3.2S Chem. crew, Mr. Walker and the lads of the Football club, and the rest of Hood £24.75 Britain (except for certain politicai figures!}. Total £d9.25 Current cost to rent £17.00 ine Cheers for now. postage. Thus you can buy this complete set In good condition at Dave Boyle less than the cost of 3 hirlngs. (3rd year chemistry} For further détails contact: Dr. J R Potter on Winkfield Row P.S. Nili I.Y.P. pay for my travelling expenses as well?!! (0334) 884878 (24br Answerphone) Sundoi) Monqgj Pilus.
27/28 April INTO THE NIGHT 115 mina " " 1/2 June FALLINO IN lOVE PALLING IN LOVE 12e mins Life and marriage have began to pall for £d Okin and he cannot sleep. One restless night he drives to the airport and literally Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro play two New York commuters who bumps into the gorgeous Diana, possessor of a fortune in smuggled meet on a train and fall in love. Their relationship, helped by gems, whose companion has ^ust been murdered by four Iranian a âeries of coïncidences, develops, despite better judgement. The assassins. A bemused Ed helps her escape and, managing to keep film relies almost entirely for its appeal on the two leading just ahead of the killers, they try to reach Diana»s aged, wealthy players. Suchitzky's lighting of Meryl Streep has a distinct touch ex-lover. There follows another brutal murder, an encounter with a of class and the dialogue has a nice way with the banalties of mysterious Englishman and kidnapping by Prenchmen. Discovery of everyday speech. The acting is superb, in that most of the subtleties the powerful figure for whom the smuggled jewels are destined does of the relationship are conveyed by means of tone, expression, and nothing to lessen their danger, until the international intrigue is gesture. A very agreeable hour and three quarters. finally resolved - back at the airport,.• STARRING: Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep, Harvey Keitel STARRING: Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Pfeiffer DIRECTOR: U. Grosbard DIRECTOR: John Landis 8/9 June MICKI AND MAUDE 117 mins OF 4/5 May CODE SILENCE 101 mins Director Blake Edwards and star Dudley Moore are reunited Ghuck Norris plays a hard-nose Chicago cop who is respected after their success of MO» in this farce about a man who for his integrety and corruptability. A war has broken out on falls in love too easily, and eventually finds that his tne Street between rival Mafia gangs, and Norris finds himself wives are both expecting babies at the same time, and protecting a young girl who's family has ail been wiped out by consequently has to deal with the hilarious problems of the rival gangs. When his ex-partner is killed while looking keeping the wives apart. after the girl he seeks revenge with the heip of some new STARRING: Dudley Moore, Amy Irving, Ann Reinking, Richard ingeneous police hardware. Violence, action and thrills in Mulligan the Dirty Harry mode. DIRECTOR: Blake Edwards STARRING: Chuck Norris, Henry Silva, Bert Remsen DIRECTOR: Andy Davis 8/9 June MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE 91 mins 11/12 May KILLING PIELDS Desmond, Sandra and( Julian, stupid inhabitants from the planet Biod, crash-land in England, leaving Bernard, their companion, Based on reports, by Sidney Schoffner, appearing in the New York stranded in space. Scientific interest in the moronic aliens soon Times, The film is set in the war in Cambodia, from the overthrow ains but their escape from Government's custody, aided by Graham of the government by the Khxunar Rogue to the movement of Vietnamese Sweetley, a junior T.V. reporter, arouses such public interest troops into Cambodia. The story centers on Dith Pahn, Schaffner's that they become international pop stars, with Graham as their guide/interpreter, who unable to escape, is left to face the Khumar manager. Meanwhile Bernard has landed in California and after Rogue in their »New Cambodia». There is always his strong faith and escaping from a mental institution, being injured in road accident loyalty to Schaffner, but above ail his will to survive. Made with and becoming a down and out, he reaches New York, where Desmond, a lot of feeling, the directing of Roland Joffe is outstanding. Sandra and Julian are to give a pop concert. He seeks out his friends Along with being produced with OPU's Honary President, David Puttnam, STARRING: Mei Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Jimmy Nail this film is a must. DIRECTOR: Mike Hodges STARRING: Sam Waterston, Dr.Haing S.Ngpr, Craig T.Nelson, John 15/16 June DIVA 117 mins Malkovich, Athol Lugard DIRECTOR: Roland Joffe Two cassette tapes - one the only recording of a famed opera diva, 18/19 May PALE RIDER 116 mins and the other an underworld confession naming names. Both are pursued, bruthless hoods and contract killers, but somehow the The 'Man with no name' is back (did he ever leave?) bringing tapes become mixed. Who is after what, why and what will become with Mm the first western in years. The miners of Carbon of those caught in the middle? Diva is exq.uisitely photographed Canyon are being harassed bycbig mine owners who wish to turn and superbly stylish. to new technology to exploit the Canyon, Clint Eastwood comes STARRING: Frederick Andrei, Roland Bertin, Richard Bohringer to the rescue causing the confrontation which is inévitable DIRECTOR: Jean-Jacques Beineix whel) the miners find out he is a preacher, which leads to the classic shoot-out scene. Thus a magnificient film for both 22/25 June THE TERMINATOR 107 mins western buffs and those who simply enjoy a good movie. DIRECTOR & STARRING: Clint Eastwood. By popular demandi Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a cyborg (half human, half robot) sent from the future to kill the mother of 25/26 May POLICE ACADEMY II 87 mins a rebel leader yet to be born. Anyone who stands in his way must be terminated with extreme prejudice. With its feet firmly The captain of the worst district in' the city asks for more in the best traditions of tìùs science-fiction genre, this slick, men - he gets the raw recruits of 'Police Academy», just stylish movie was one of the most popular films of 1985 and graduated and ready to go. When they band together to serve includes some of the best duels and chases seen for a long time and protect a city, nobody is safe - especially not from in the cinema. them! A must for anyone who saw 'Police Academy». STARRING: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton STARRING: Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith DIRECTOR: James Cameron THE LAW ACCORDING TO OSCAR
CONDITIONS OF ENTRY
1. Admission to the Sunday/Monday films is granted to holders of a valid OFU Membership Card or guest ticket. 2. Wednesday fiims - a valid temporary membership card is required for admission.
MEMBERSHIP CARDS AND TICKETS
1. OFU membe'rship cards for Sunday/Monday films are only £5.00 each - which for 10 fiims is great value for money. Guest tickets cost tl.50 each and are only available to membership card holders. 2. Wednesday film tickets are ti.00 each - a real bargain. 3. Ali tickets can be purchased from the Union Trading Desk, before 5.00pm on weekdays only. The Unit accepts no responsibility for lost tickets.
THERE WILL BE NO MONEY TAKEN ON THE DOOR - so rememljer to buy your ticket in advance.
THE SMALL PRINT
1. The Unit reserves the right to make programme or venue changes where needed. 2. Possession of an OFU membership card or guest ticket does not guarantee a seat at any one performance. Therefore come to the earliest showing possible to avoid disappointment. 3. There will be no admission to the lecture theatre once the film has started. a. AH films will be shown in LECTURE THEATRE G at 6.00 and 9.00pm on Sunday and Monday, and S.OOpm on Wednesday, unless otherwise stated.
bn
FINALLY - NO SMOKING, EATING OR DRINKING IN LECTURE THEATRE G. ¡UcJncs^QH FI Ills
30 April A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM 78 mins
This balletic, operatic version of the origional is a dream unlike anything you have ever seen before. As Theseus longs for his wedding to the kidnapped Hippolia, young lovers play and Puck orchestrates the pursuit by the fairies of Titania's page, the Changeling. Oberon and Titania fight for possession of the Changeling and Puck brings a magic flower which turns Midsununer Night into an orgeastic frenzy. -, tur ^ STARRING; Linsay Kemp, The incredible Orlando, Micheal Matou, Francois Testory, David Mayer, David Haughton, Annie Hackle, Cheryl Heazlewood, Atilio Lopez, Christian Michaelson, Neil Caplan DIRECTOR: Celestino Coronado
7 May CAL 102 mins
This highly acclaimed British drama earned Helen Mirren the award for best actress at the 1984 Cannes festival - and rightly so. The story is set in the turmoil of Northern Ireland with a young Catholic boy being drawn into terrorism against his judgement. He then begins to develop emotionally as he becomes involved with the widow of a policeiaan he helped to kill. The distressing effects of Ihe troubles are starkly but sensitivèly observed, especially in the performances of Mirren and newcomer John Lynch. Produced by ovcc Honorary President, David Puttnam. STARRING: Helen Mirren, John Lynch DIRECTOR: Pat 0»Connor
14 May CASABLANCA 102 mins
A captivating and tuneless story of war, love and memories in Casablanca during WW II. Rick, played with infinitessimal ability by Humphrey Bogart, runs a café down town and stays very much out of troublesome, waters until his old flame Ingrid Bergman turns up, now married to a French resistance hero who needs to get out of the country, escaping the ever closing jaws of the nasty Nazis. The song 'As time goes by' captures the spirit of the era,and the excellent acting by all the characters makes this a must to see again and again. Starring: Hvimphrey Bo^art. Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid. Director» Michael Curtiz. 21 May BIRDY
Baeed on the hook hy William Wharton, Birdy is ahout two young men who are trapped within the walls and predicaments that Shirt their lives. Nicolas Cage plays Al, a physical and emotional victim of the Vietnam War« Following his return to the US after the fighting. Al is asked to comfort an old friend scarred by his own haunting experiences of the war that have resulted in his total non-responsive attitude towards everything. His name is Birdy, a nick- name gained from a life-long obsessiòn for birds and flying. An extremely funny yet supremely sad tale enhanced by the moody music of Peter Gabriel, resulting in a stunningly good film of immense emotional power. STARRING: Nicholas Cage, Matthew Medine DIRECTOR: Alan Parker
25 Jxine THE RIGHT STÜPP 193 mins An exhilarating epic of aerial pioneering. The Right Stuff chronicles the bravery and fortunes of Chuck Yeager - the test pilot who broke the sound barrier - and the first seven men who ventured into spaae. A deserved Oscar winner -'with great special effects, humour and thrills. STARRING: Sam Shephard, Scott Glenn, Ed Harris, Dennis Quaid, Barbara Hershey, Pamela Reed DIRECTOR: Philip Kaufman
LatsNilers
9 MAY - SPLASH + STARMAN
6 JUNE - PORKY'S + REVENGE OF THE NERDS COMMUNITY ACTION FILM REVIEW The National Conference JAGGED EDGE One of the best movies of the year so far? Fbr my The Magnificent seven go to Newcastle money, the answer is a wholehearted Yes! It's a movie that has it all - romance, suspense, an intelligent At the end of last term the Magnificent Seven (alias script, fine acting and direction and above all, it is Me, Stevie, Libby, Julia, Rico, Steve and Kev) set off hi^ly enjoyable. from the Union, having had very little sleep on Ihe movie opens with a murder which, thankfully, is not Thursday night (Free disco, last night of term etc.). shown in all it's gory glory. The victim is the wife of We hijacked a shopping trolley en route to carry our Jeff Bridges, and he is promptly charged with the crime millions of bags into Guildford and caught a coach to by a pretty unpleasent D.A. (the excellent Peter Victoria. We arrived at the Coach station with less Coyote). But did he do it? than two minutes to find the bus, dump our luggage in Bridges employs the lovely Glenn Close, a female attor- the boot and climb on board before it left for ney, to defend hl». But as the case progresses and more Newcastle. The journey was uneventful; we had been evidence comes to li^t her sympathies and suspicions split up on the coach and so couln't play any silly are evoked. Did he do it? Didn't he? Who did? Inevit- games which Rico had planned. A few of us watched ably a relationship develops between them, but even then 'Gremlins', Steve got very bored listening to a woman she is unsure of his guilt.- and still the trial contin- talk about geraniums for the whole six hours and I had ues and more revelations are made. mass panic when Libby handed me a memo from my tutor, The plot may be a little contrived, but is done with inviting me to see her, without fail, earlier that such panache as to gloss over this fact. It is a morning. stylish irtiodunnit (although some people rate It a could- n't care less), which shows they can still be made. If Anyway, we arrived in Newcastle and with Kev cinema is about putting bums on seats then this movie navigating through a building site we found the union will have you on the edge of yours and may even make it Jump out! and the bar. After a drink or two (or 3 or 4 for Steve and Kev) we went to a theatre show for the mentally handicapped. The show was good, but involved jeering at a baddie policeman - highly controversial! FILM GUIDE After a regional meeting, we went to the debating chamber ( a bit like the House of Commons) and clinked ODEOK. EKOH ROAD into sleeping bags on some of the benches in there. Screen 1 -.FRICTT NIOìT - Jokey reworking of the vamp-' We were kept awake by Paul - from Belfast - who was ire theme written and directed by ex-actor Tbm Holland. holding a GM in the chamber, whisky bottle in hand. A teenager becomes suspicious of his randy counterpart He fell through the chairperson's seat at the head of next door, subsequently finding out that he's a stark the Hall and although Rico tried to put forward a staring bloodsucker. Stylish and slick throughout, procedural motion of no confidence in the chair no wltìi the now statutory grisly special effects well up vote was taken! Eventually the mass of bodies slept, to par. Watch out for the one where the vMiplre/wolf only to be woken by Kev's moaning because he'd turns into a human rather than the reverse that we fallen.to the floor. usually see In such films. Tines - Sun k.OO 7.05. Week 2.00 (5.20) After showers in a sauna/spa called 'The Last Resort' Screen 2 - ABSOLUTS BEGINNERS - The mega-hype heis paid and a cooked breakfast, we went to workshops: three off handsomely for this musical, wltíi favorable box of us to one about taking kiddies away on a holiday, office reports coming from all over the country. the rest to other CA affairs like working with the Lively, colourful, but flawed adaptation of Colin MM- elderly, men's anti-sexism and visiting psychiatric Innes's portrait of 1950's London. Starring (amongst patients. Some other workshops held during the othere) David Bowie, James Fox, Sade, the excellent weekend were about public speaking, 'is C.A. Steven Beikoff and Tenpole Tudor. ^ , political', fundraising and campaigning. After lunch Times - Sun ^.10 7.25 Week 2.10 (^.^5) came policy discussions and the AGM, with elections for the new, national committee. Our regional rep Screen 3 - JAGGED EDGE - See review, aX-^-aA-aSI this year is Hoy from Sussex University. lines ¿Sun 4.35 7.15 Week 2.35 O-IO) 8.15. / BAR(^W SHOWS AT IME ODEON - ïhe performance times in On Saturday evening, 15 of us from the South-East treickets are bargain shows, where all seats are £1.40. region went to dinner. Despite cries of 'plzzaland' See a film cheaply without the hassle of evening crowdsl Rico dragged us off to a vegan - 'wot, no meat?' CANNON. WOODBRIDGE ROAD restaurant. He then headed for a Newcastle pub, having asked a couple of policemen for directions to their Gannon 1 - OUT OF AFRICA - Ihis years major Oscar winner. local. It was full of old men, speaking northern. It Excellent cast, direction, photography and music, if a was then back to the Union (which gets locked up by little overlong. A must for incurable romantics! Times - Sun 3.35 7.00 Week 2.35 7.00 10.30pm., so tuff if you're still outside!), for a disco of awful music, but we still boogied on down for Cannon 2 - GLOOCWKE - Ohe big hit of the Easter hols! some free expression dancing. Sunday arrived with HilarlouB farce about a headmaster obsessed with time more workshops and discussions, even a proper Sunday and his atteints to get to a conference on time after lunch with Yorkshire pudl Auntie Jo sotted out missing his train. Fïiultless performance from the inimit- everyone's coach tickets and before we left Steve and able John Cleese. Kev entertained us in the music room, as only tbey Times - Sun 3.50 6.05 8.15 Week 1.45 3.50 6.05 Ö.15. can! OFÜ - THE AWARD WINNERS - At the annual awards of the British Federation Of Film Societies, Oscar Film Unit Finally we went down to the coach station to say our received a commendation for It's activities as a student goodbyes. film society - an honour indeed as the BFFS are damn hard to impress! Congrats to all concerned - reward indeed for All was done and the Magnificent Seven went their all .that hard work! separate ways. Meanwhile, tickets are now on sale for this terms prog- ramme, which Includes The Killing Fields, Bie Terminator, Tara then. Pet pale Rider, A Private Function, Falling In Love and Code Auntie Jo Of Silence - all at thB;>bargain price of £5.00 for the season! The terro kicks off on Sunday and Monday with Off-site Accommodation INTO THE NIGHT, a comedy thriller directed by John Landis and starring Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Pfeifer with an The list of appointment times for students ^ excellent cameo from David Bowie. A host of famous dir- wishing to view the accomodation books for ectors make guest appearances. Off-Site accomodation can be seen in the Review by Pete Waterhouse. Film Guide by Phil Bennett. accomodation office. 8 Capfkm Campetìt lOiT»
AJcrr The HaoSé W 'Nf ito /pfcr) Ye9 here it is, after many enqulrles(vell one or tvo) the stupendone Captlon Competition, and what pictures to start with ! The wonderful glrlles are the stunnlng Petra petals, some of you may have been iucky enough to meet. Well, Just wrlte your entrles on the form below and post them in the BF box by the UTD.
Name,.. Address
CAPTIONS A
Residence Fees Invoices
Please collect and sign for your involo form the Court attendant. The FINAL DAT Dear Editor, FOE PAYMENT is FRIDAY 2 MAY 1986. Could someone please explain who made the Payment should be nade to the Cashler's decision to furnish the Lower Bar with white plastic office, first floor Senate House by this garden fumiture? On a patio, in a consrvatory or date. The Cashiers opening hours are: beer garden - great,- but rather revolting in the Mon-Fri 9:30 to 15:30 only. If you have lower bar. any difficulties about paying on tine, And can we be informed on the cost? Are our food please see the court attendant of your portiona to be reduced yet again - to pay for the new court for a concession form before 2 May Summer furniturej Failure to pay by 15:30 on Friday 2 May will result in a £10 late payment fee. A.Clarke P.S. Where are the parasole and plastic flowers? •Love you too. Lots, and lots, and lots INOTICMI PERSONALS •An Irish Valentine *Dear K. Please identify yourself. To whom It may concern: *Cricket Club: 2 trial gamas on *Why doesn't the world explode Roses are red, Sat April 26th: Sussex anymore? Violets are grey, Sun April 27th: LSE «Hello OGNOP! H{t That don't sound right, therefore be available. •Where's my came!??????????????? But never mind eh? *Rock Club A®! Thürs 8th May, Room «Welcome back to the Universe guys, Love Paddy (alias Rob) 103 at 5.30. meetings as usual in it was wonderful without you. •Actually, I deny any responsibility 103. *00dles of congratulations to Anna! for the above personal - it was *Tune"in to an hour of your «Happy belated birthday to met Maria who typed it, Honest! favourite ghazals, old & lateat •Why doesn't anybody really •Well, Andy does seem to be enjoyisg film hits, bhangra music, folk appreciate Denon DR-M22 cassette his editorial, I must say. Never songa etc. -plus* News and latest decks??? heard so much manie laughter since I escaped from the asylum! campus happenings ~ from 8 to 9 pm •To Mr. Innocence and the embarrassed •Sorry this Saturday and every week on waitress ... thanks for the unexpec- Radio Surrey - Don't miss iti ted side dish last week. We enjoyed •To Flona, Idris is very weil, along 'Asían Hour' on Radio Surrey is now toastlng them! with Seamus, say hello to ali the other thourghly pi**eds in your on Ssturdays from 8-9pm - Send in Love T and J house, hope to see you soon, love your requests, dedications, gossip •J. thanks for telling everyone when and large cuddles and huge wet klsses etc. to us via the FOAS ph in the EGTS is. I hope to return the favoui and the odd chilll (with powder) R. Union- Happy Listeningl one dayt T •ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha ^Windsurfing Club; Trips to local •Anna, would you trust me and stand Didn't do the personáis this week lake on Wednesday afternoon, weeks with your eyes closed and your hands dld we GIT, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha, SAC haha. 2,4,6,8,10 leaving Senate steps at behind your back, if I promlsed not •I feil in love with a DR-H22 cassette 1.30. Bring a wetsùit or get very to turn the shower on? - T deck. Yes I am totálly insane. cold. •Not B*^»*y likely mate JII GIT Annual Trip. Visit Sunny Croyde leaving Sports Hall 6.00pm on J3 < •O Friday 2nd May returning Mon 5th a ti oc0 n a May late. Surfers and experienced S a •H B -p Aries A particulaly bad week when it comes ^M fa windsurfers only, Numbers limited fi n 3 0 to negotiatlng stairs.Also watch out M oh e 0 g « so please see noticeboard. O ä >v i3H >> on Tuesday,you'll be abused by «AAAAAARRRRRRRCGGGHHHHHHH!!t!H 11 ja a» o0 e *> •o «-I •p « frienda. «fl o 0 .Q •Dance Soc Meetings are now on •o fa Taurus Spend the week in bed as you will be Mondays at 5.30 in Room 103. O « IH n» _ subject to the sexual desires of a Meetings Commence: Monday 28th ß a faO V M > o Gemini. April but first one not at 5.30 - o H 0 • O o Q. 3 •D 0 ** faO e Gemini HUHP a Taurean for the week. at 6.00 in rooml03 >i o M a O M u .a sS « vi a Cancer Lectures are in doubt this week as An unsigned cheque was given in » bo -pH O B« •H N 4» •O FH >> you will be constantly drunk. pajnnent for two tickets for the — Q& s a fa H afa 0u wo faO HO Leo You will be constantly picking up Royal Ballet trip. Will V.A.Edwards i 0 O. o •o ja •ri 4> m >> n V / Ariens from the bottom of staircases please attend Dance Soc meeting. fa0 «M a•H •O 9 O^ w Virgo Swop birtb-signs with a Taurean this o » o O A» >> >> O M week. tì 0> JÌ •Ö IH +> n CD aO i o Ct H a ta Libra Be generous to Caneerians this week 9 o a O « o o 09 S «0 ca •S a fa «» buy them lots of alcohol. Scorpioenters Uranus so be carefull where you sit down. Sagittarius Your debts will be like the American sixth fleet-all over the place and unwanted. Capricorn You will experience violent deslres to push Ariens down long flights of stairsi Aquarius Problems.problems.problems,you'll have Problems this week, Places You will have uncontrolable desires to batter a libyian.
1. There will be a Sports Standing Committee meeting on Thursday Ist May at S.lSpm in Room lo2 of the Union. Ali Clubs must be represented. Items for the agende must be In by Tuesday 29th Aprii. (A motion proposing the end of the boycott of the Manor Farm Bar will be on the agenda). 2. This year's Annual Sports Presentation Dinner (and Colours présentation) will be on Friday 16th May at the Claremont Suite, Sandown Rae Course, Esher. Tickets can be obtained at the Sports Office and it is hoped that ail clubs will attend. SOrTLEIMS PRACTICE 3. The positions of Sports chalrperson and Vice Sports 51 GfKKige St., London W1. chairperson are presently vacant since this post runa Tel: 01 631 1000 from Easter to Easter. Our thanks and appréciation go to Simon Lytton & Sarah (Trogg) Christophers for their hard work and efforts throughout their term of office. Anybody interested in taking over these en- joyable tasks are invited to see Andy Bunn in the • Sports Office as soon as possible. 4. Club Jumpers and photos of UAU teams that were ord— By appointment only ered last term are now available from the Sports Office. 10
GOoV C^USj- FRI 25th 13.00 Rm 103. War on Want on Nicaragua. 13.00-14.00 Healtby Lunches in Battersea Court Table Saturday 26th April. Tennis Room. 50p chatter free. 13.10 Prayer Heeting in the Quiet Centre, on National BBCl 8.30 Tbe Saturday Picture Show.Kiddies tbicgs Concern - evryone welcone. for early rising brats.Nice. 19.30 CU Main Meeting: "GIDEON" with Andrew Petit. ITV 13.20 Airwolf.Probably about bombing the living «a«* oyt of some communist plotters. SAT 26th BBC2 17,10 World Snooker.,,.Good grief,weeks and weeks 19.'30 Appeal Concert: A fernst of Song. Guildford SINGERS of solid snooker on the Beeb begins here ! with conductor GRANT LLEWELLYM, in Ball. £5 with BBCl 17.35 Robin of Sherwood,Hoorah for brave Robin, free food and wine. who has unfortunately undergone horrific plastic surgery,because he now looks Just SUN 27th like Janes Bond.Funny,thought he lived in 11.30 Hotorcycle Club Pub run to the 'White Horse' near Maldavla. Petersfleld. Heet in the Bike Park. BBCl 17.45 The Dukes of Hazard..In which Luke finds all the mashed up copies of the General HON 28th Lee behind a garage.YeeeeeHaaaar I 8.00 Prayer Meeting inthe Quiet Centre. All early- ITV 19.30 The Price is Right,University Challenge risers welcone. for the mentally retarded.Should be "Cone 13.00 Community Action meeting in Societies Room - all on,dunb". welcome. 19.30 Annual University Llterary Lecture: LTH D, Malcolm Sunday 27th April. Bradbury on "Writer and Critlc: The Criticism of Contemporary Fiction and the Writing of lt." ITV 9.45 Roger Ramjet.Cartoon,I think,hope,prey. BBC2 13.55 Sunday Grandstand.Including the San TUE 29 th Marino Grand Prix,ice hockey,and snooker, 00.00-24.00 Absolutely ****-all happening BBCl 17.45 Antiques Roadshow..nore old crones not-at- all-bonestly-I-kid-you-not Interested in WED 30th the price of Aunt Flo's furniture. 13.10 Prayer Meeting In the Quiet Centre. BBCl 19.15 Hbhhhhhhancocks Half Hour.The Lawyer.Hmmm. 13.15 Lunchtine recital. LTH D ITV 22.00 Spitting Image.Latex and foam never got 19.00 Rffl 102. Talk on Voluntary Services Overseas and so many giggles....well,um,oh that's Match 1%. another story. ITV 22.30 The South Bank Show.Kelvin Bragg on again, THÜR Ist this time crooning on about Velvet " 17.30 Overseas Committee In Union Lounge. Underground.
Monday 28tb April. Tbursday Ist May.
BBCl 6.00 CEGPAX.Uy favourite program...informative,. BBC2 18.00 Mission Im^sslble.Classic spy stuff current,nice music,and no Americans. returns to BBC2. This week, starring> ITV IS. 00 University Challenge - What have they done none other than Joan Collins!..? to tbis,the most riveting program since ITV 19.30 The A-Team.The Heavy Uob are naklng The Clangers ? nuisances of themselves again. BBCl 17.05 Blue Peter.At last,Peter Joins the Barda- BBC2 20.00 Tinewatch Spécial.Deception and intrigue Melahoff gang,and dissappears with Janet, In World War II.Heavy stuff indeed. Jack and an explosive cucumber. ITV 20.30 The Brothers McGregor.For ail you BBC2 18.00 Girl Happy.An old Elvis film not bad if teletext freaks - watch tbe ezciting you've had a few. subtitles on p888... ITV 23.30 Five Desperate Women.With Stephanie Powers, BBCl 10.25 Question Time.Robin Day does a brlllo so miss it at your peril. impression of himself and everybody ITV 00.55 Night Thoughts... What Rev. Dr. Young else falls asleep. thought about Five Desperate Wonen BBC2 11.40 Weathervlew.The weatherman apologlses for getting today's weather wrong. Tuesday 29th April. Friday 2nd May. ITV 12.10 Rainbow.Telekinesis special - watch it to find out why. ITV 15.30 Sons and Daughters.One of tbese bl***y CH4 17.00 Bewitched.Brilliant 60's thingy. awful Aussie soap Jobs.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz CH4 20.00 Brookside.Unbrilliant 80's thingy. BBCl 15.55 Tbe Amazing Adventures of Morph.Speaks CH4 22.50 The Comic Strip Presents...Fistfull of for itself really. Good though. Travellers Cheques...Repeat,methinks BBCl 20.10 The Colbys. Absolutely NOT an anagram. Baldrick.Henceforth I shall call If'Repeat" BBCl 23.15 Flln 86.Isn't Parkinson the definition of, well."Parkinson". THE WORLD IS
Wednesday 30th April.
BBCl 13.40 BERTHA.Good grief... fantastic factory fun filled frolics. BBC2 18.00 Lavender Hill Mob.Classic Ealing comedy, •350,000,000 YEARS it says here. OLD -- TODAY ! BBC2 22.00 M*A»S*H.Worth listening to the title vibes. Happy Birthday to you. ITV 22.00 Fahrenheit 451.Futuristic fantastic fiction Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday oblate spherold,Happy Birthday to you.