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More You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome My Horizontal Life a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's My Horizontal Life wedding, or the only relief from My Horizontal Life disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the My Horizontal Life stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows My Horizontal Life her one-night stands with hilarious My Horizontal Life. Encouraged by her motley collection of My Horizontal Life aka: her partners in crime but challenged by her family members who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounterChelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning. From the publisher. Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E! Chelsea makes regular appearances in comedy clubs across America and lives in Los Angeles. More Chelsea Handler is an American stand-up comedienne, humorist, television host, actress, and best-selling author. She currently has My Horizontal Life own late-night talk show, Chelsea Latelyon the E! Cable Television Network. Inshe won a Bravo A-List Award. She also has her own column in My Horizontal Life UK celebrity magazine Now. The youngest of six children, My Horizontal Life was raised Jewish by her Mormon mother and Jewish father. Handler has said that while growing up, she felt like an outsider, telling a reporter, "We lived in this nice Jewish neighborhood Everyone had Mercedes and Jaguars, and I was going to school in a Pinto. Handler has performed My Horizontal Life as a stand-up comedian, appeared as a regular on the Oxygen Network series Girls Behaving Badly and on other shows, including Weekends at the D. She is a regular commentator on E! She hosted the first episode of the reality TV show On the Lotbut quit before the second one was aired, as she later said, "because I smelled the disaster happening before it did. Handler wrote My Horizontal Life as her memoir. Handler also wrote Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelseaa My Horizontal Life of humorous essays. Are You There, Vodka hit the New York Times non-fiction best seller list on May 11, ; it has already had a print run of overThe show, produced by Steven Spielberg and Mark Burnett, is a competition for aspiring filmmakers who are vying for a chance at stardom. In JulyHandler began starring on her own half-hour late-night comedy series on E! This series places Handler against a slew of male-dominated talk shows, and adding a considerable amount of sarcasm and ridicule to the format. On the show's th episode, Chelsea revealed to My Horizontal Life that E! The show has proved a hit and averaged more than a My Horizontal Life viewers since its premiere much more than the average for a late night cable program and has clips on Youtube with more than a million views. All this success is despite the fact that Handler's guests often are not A-list celebrities. In a interview Handler said, "The worse the guests are, the more pathetic they are, the funnier the show is. The comedic series is "about moms, by moms and for moms". Clair, Megan Mullaly, and Cheryl Hines. Handler decided to drop out of the project due to her scheduling My Horizontal Life to her show Chelsea Lately. From Wikipedia. I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words. Liz Smith - New York Post. Chelsea just might be funnier than David Sedaris. Dallas Observer. Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises My Horizontal Life small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as My Horizontal Life fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed. Publishers Weekly. Handler, a stand-up comedienne and featured prankster on the television show Girls Behaving My Horizontal Lifenow adds author to her resume. Chronicling her often wild sex life, this My Horizontal Life of offbeat and laugh-out- loud-funny essays includes a tale of waking up naked with a midget and a narrative of an affair with a Vegas stripper. Though the book seems to rely on the humor of the actual one-night stand, the standout pieces occur near the end, as Handler's attempts at casual sex become My Horizontal Life successful and she begins to My Horizontal Life adopting a slightly more conservative lifestyle. In fact, the most entertaining essay concerns not sex but her substance-abusing gay friend's antics at her sister's wedding. Drawing on a supporting cast of hilariously well-drawn family members and friends, Handler succeeds in penning a smart, funny, and quick read. The booze-fueled tales of sex, however, My Horizontal Life most likely inappropriate for school and academic libraries or more conservative communities. Recommended for the Sex and the City crowd in public libraries. Disjointed, lackluster musings on her promiscuous social life, by directionless if cheerful Handler. The L. She starts with a not-very-amusing incident: at six years old, she was persuaded by her sister to take a picture of her parents having sex. Dad was pissed: imagine that. Moving on to her teenaged adventures at the Jersey shore, Handler invites us to find it hilarious that she picked up a good-looking man, had sex with him immediately, and dated him for months despite the fact that she couldn't stand talking to him. The joke in the next section is that while her father was a racist, she personally dated a wonderful black man, and it inspired her to want to sleep with many more of them. Next comes what's supposed to be an entertaining misunderstanding involving her sisters and the fact that Handler did not in fact have sex with the naked midget they found in her My Horizontal Life room. In one genuinely funny moment, the author was dismayed to find that the handsome stripper she picked up wanted to tell her his real name and discuss the fact that what he really wanted to do was act—it figures that she would get stuck with the guy who wanted a real My Horizontal Life. There is more: the one-night My Horizontal Life who showed up at the restaurant where she worked and was seated in her section, with his girlfriend Handler My Horizontal Life she is her own identical twin and has never seen him before ; the friend who plays a practical joke My Horizontal Life her by telling Handler's date that she has a terminal disease and just wants to cuddle; the gay friend invited to be her date for a wedding who terrorized her family. It might work as standup, but when transferred to the page this shtick is a groaner. Kirkus Reviews. Also consider these LitLovers talking points to help get a discussion started for My Horizontal Life :. Start with Chelsea Handler herself. Why does she pursue her quest for one-night-stands? What is she looking for? What does sex mean to her— or what do the encounters mean to her? In fact, do they have meaning? Consider your reactions to Chelsea. Do you find her open approach to sex funny Do you approve or disapprove of what she's up to? Or do you take a neutral stance, believing it's not for readers to pass judgment? Some readers have complained about Chelsea's lack of compassion or shallow hedonism. Others have found her refreshingly frank. What do you think? Basically, the same as question 2, just worded differently. Do you have any favorite encounters in the book? Which do you find most humorous? Which episodes are the least appealing or most disturbing? What do My Horizontal Life think of the various men she attempts to have sex with—any favorites Talk about Chelsea's myriad friends and family members, and their reaction to or even participation in Chelsea's exploits. Does Chelsea undergo personal reflection or growth throughout the book? What eventually makes her decide to pursue a more conservative lifestyle, perhaps to settle My Horizontal Life with one man? Is there an inner life that Chelsea reveals so that you come to know her as a rich, complex character? Some have compared Handler's book to Sex and the City. Okay, readers: time for some personal revelations on your part. Anything in Chelsea's life similar to your own? Questions by LitLovers. Please feel free My Horizontal Life use them, online or off, with attribution. Site by BOOM. Search Go. Author Bio. Book Reviews. Discussion Questions. My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler | Audiobook |

Audible Premium Plus. Cancel anytime. In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating My Horizontal Life men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo. By: Chelsea Handler. Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the number-one best-selling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side My Horizontal Life childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition My Horizontal Life suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them. Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. In The Girl with the Lower Back TattooAmy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life. By: My Horizontal Life Schumer. From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne and star of the powerful film I Smile Back Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. By: Sarah Silverman. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. By: Heather McDonald. As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews My Horizontal Life as well have My Horizontal Life for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his My Horizontal Life dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did. By: Ross Mathewsand others. Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. By: Amy Poehler. A hilarious and emotional My Horizontal Life account of the life, times, mistakes, and crippling codependence of comedian, producer, director, actress, and writer Whitney Cummings. Full of intellect, pathos, and profundity, I'm Fine With her signature incendiary edge and self-deprecation, Whitney comes clean about My Horizontal Life has shaped her into the trailblazing comic that she is today. By: Whitney Cummings. Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told By: Tina Fey. Whether in a My Horizontal Life, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a My Horizontal Life boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue, which provided her with My Horizontal Life stories and adventures in her search for true love - My Horizontal Life, ultimately, her very own happy ending. By: Mindy Kaling. Official Book Club Selection is Kathy Griffin unplugged, uncensored, and unafraid to dish about what really happens on the road, away from the cameras, and at the star party after the show. It's also her big chance to score that coveted book club endorsement she's always wanted. Are you there, Oprah? It's me, Kathy. By: Kathy Griffin. Television personality Ross Mathews likes telling stories. He was always outrageous and hilariously honest, even when the biggest celebrity he My Horizontal Life was his favorite lunch lady in the school cafeteria. By: Ross Mathews. By: Brandi Glanvilleand others. For readers or listeners of Nora Ephron, Tina Fey, and David Sedaris, this hilarious, poignant, and extremely frank collection of personal essays confirms Lena Dunham - the acclaimed creator, producer, and star of HBO's Girls - as My Horizontal Life of the brightest and most My Horizontal Life writers working today. By: Lena Dunham. By: Perez Hiltonand others. Wow, what a witty and quick book this was! I found myself laughing so hard cappucino nearly came out my nose, as I listened and drove one night. Very, very funny My Horizontal Life. Be prepared for straight talk about sex and a new interpretation of your sexuality. I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Although not narrated by Chelsea herself, this book is witty and raunchy all at once! This book does not disapoint. I am a huge fan love her humor. Found myself laughing out loud. The only disappointment was Chelsea did not narrate. I have listened to this book at least ten times and it is My Horizontal Life every time. My only disappointment was that the book was narrated by someone other than Chelsea Handler. Her inflection and dramatic pauses make her even funnier in my opinion and I would have LOVED for My Horizontal Life to read this one to me! The narrator did do a fabulous job, however! After a few minutes, I forgot it wasn't Chelsea. It would make a great gift for any Chelsea fan or anyone who likes comedy. What I Loved: Chelsea is so very Chelsea in this book. She gets herself into the most unique situations and always seems to keep a sense of humor about herself. She manages to make even the most uncomfortable situation funny. What I Liked: She never names people--she gives them cute little nicknames. I also like the chronological order of things, her situations change as she gets older and she doesn't try to make herself look like a saint. What was So-So: Not a darn thing! I listened to this on audio book and found myself laughing out loud often. Why I gave it a My Horizontal Life I love reading auto-biographies that are interesting and fun. Book Received From: Purchased on Audible. I read this book last year, and I enjoyed the book so much that I bought the audio book to listen to as I run I enjoy comedy when running. Why didn't Chelsea Handler narrate this? The narrator was reading a My Horizontal Life to me, and it felt like that. Like I was just being read to; Chelsea was so good in her last audio book I felt like she was telling me a story. The book is the same, but I think I would have enjoyed this more with Chelsea Handler. Even the sarcasm My Horizontal Life some of the jokes didn't come through. Chelsea Handler is not for everyone, but if you can get past her uninhibited frankness her books are hilarious. This narrator sounds very much like Ms Handler, and had no problem at all conveying her dry humor. For me, this fell into the category of light listening. It wouldn't have held my interest on a long drive, but it was My Horizontal Life to listen to while painting the bedroom. I recommend listening with earbuds Didnt know anything about this person, other than being vaguely aware of My Horizontal Life being an author and cultural someone-or-other. It's funny, but While the book suffers from overexplicitness, it My Horizontal Life it all wrong. She's supposedly remembering the tiniest details from random days years ago. Worst of all, she's just not interesting! You can't help but be left with an impression of a person who is utterly convinced that their banal, somewhat-privliged existence is of supreme interest to the world. Ugh, it is not. Don't waste a minute on this "story. So funny!! She is out of control!! SO funny hearing her crazy stories! My Horizontal Life - Wikipedia

After reading my last book Anybody Out ThereI was looking for a good comedy to pick up my mood. Luckily, I had requested this book a few weeks earlier via inter-library loan and was able to pick it up a My Horizontal Life days ago - and I My Horizontal Life up finishing it in about a day. Many had suggested Chelsea Handler to me after I expressed interest in Laurie Notaro and My Horizontal Life Lancaster, so I thought I would try it - my library didn't have it, so it probably prevented me from reading it as quickly as My Horizontal Life would have had it been accessible. Each story pulled me in, with enough introduction and background to build up a great short story sometimes I can't stand short story type books because they feel like they jump around a lotand had continuity through the characters so that it was hard for me to stop reading in between story changes. The best thing of all, which I didn't expect, was that Chelsea seemed to learn some lessons in the end - as the pages were dwindling, I kind of expected it to end with a "well, what do you expect when you have one-night stands? It's Me, Chelseawhich my sister loaned me. Looking for a humor pick-me-up? Try this one out. That Chelsea Handler I cannot believe all of the ridiculous situations she gets into. I enjoyed this funny and fast read. Amusing, but more at Chelsea's expense than anything. Although I found her stories humorous, I found that I didn't like her very much. Still worth reading. I read this book a while ago, right when My Horizontal Life came out. I don't really know what I was thinking when My Horizontal Life bought it. I think I was reading a lot of fluff back then, and this caught my eye. I'd seen Chelsea on several programs and I knew she was funny and still do, My Horizontal Life what I've seen on "Girls Behaving Badly" is a little slapstickish. Looking back, this book that was probably a very, very easy paycheck for Chelsea, actually turned out to be funny, though extremely fluffy. By reading this book, now I can tell myself, "I remember her telling of that story. She was drunk My Horizontal Life the My Horizontal Life. This book is strangely addictive I know it doesn't make any sense. But it is actually an ok book. She seems to have had fun writing it that's for sure! Here at Walmart. Your email address will never be sold or distributed to My Horizontal Life third party for any reason. Sorry, but we can't respond to individual comments. If you need immediate assistance, please contact Customer Care. Your feedback helps us make Walmart shopping better for millions of customers. Recent searches Clear All. Enter Location. Update location. Learn more. Report incorrect product information. Chelsea Handler. Walmart Out of stock. Book Format. Select Option. Current selection is: Paperback. Delivery not available. Pickup not available. Add to list. Add to registry. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter My Horizontal Life with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. About This Item. We aim to show you accurate product information. Manufacturers, suppliers and others provide what you see here, and we have not verified it. See our disclaimer. In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often My Horizontal Life beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating My Horizontal Life, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Enter Chelsea Handler. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends aka: her partners in crime but challenged by her family members who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounterChelsea hits bottom and bounces My Horizontal Life, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning. Write a review See all reviews Write a review. Most helpful positive review. Average Rating: 4. See more. Most helpful negative review. Average Rating: 1. So, two caveats here: I am 48 years old and not the twenty-something partying demographic I suspect this book was intended for. Additionally, I have limited patience for the "I drink and do drugs a lot" kinds of comics; I find a little of that goes a long way for me. That said, the book was better at the beginning and end than in the repetitive middle. It was at its best describing Handler's family. The book was rather vapid. I didn't expect a deep read out of Chelsea Handler; I figure that this was literary junk food, but in the end, I might do Twinkies a disservice. I didn't need My Horizontal Life "I might want to settle down" theme at the end that I suppose was meant to make Handler more relatable. I also think that, for a book about sex, I could have done with more sex than she described. Perhaps all this would have been better as a stand-up routine. Generally, I got bored with My Horizontal Life sex life, but it did get me to sleep easily when I read it before bed. Frequent mentions. June 18, Reviewed by shanyn shanyn. Written by a librarything. July 19, April My Horizontal Life, Reviewed by bookwormteri bookwormteri. Average Rating: 3. February 14, Reviewed by ThatsFresh ThatsFresh. August 6, My Horizontal Life See all 63 reviews. Ask My Horizontal Life question Ask a question If you would like to share feedback with us about pricing, delivery or other customer service issues, please contact customer service directly. Your question required. Additional details. Send me an email when my question is answered. Please enter a valid email address. I agree to the Terms and Conditions. Cancel Submit. Pricing policy About our prices. 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