TOTZAOS CHAYIM ISSUES OF LIFE

LAWS OF VISITING THE SICK, DEATH AND MOURNING

Dr. Seligmann Baer יצחקבןאריהיוסףדוב 4th Edition Roedelheim 1894

Translated, Annotated and © 2013 Reuven Brauner, Raanana, Israel ECLECTIC TORAH COMPILATIONS

With Extensive Footnotes Based on Sefer Yikoroh d’Chiyyei by R’ Chaim Bernstein and R’ Hyman Goldin’s Hamadrikh – The Rabbi’s Guide

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Covers in this series have been prepared by Avromie Brauner [email protected] Dedicated to the Memory of

Anne Samson of Blessed Memory (Los Angeles)

רחלרבקהסמסון "ע ה ה.ב.צ.נ.ת TOTZAOS CHAYIM – ISSUES OF LIFE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

TRANSLATOR’S PREFACE………………………………………………… 4 EXCERPTS FROM DR. BAER’S FORWARD……………………………… 5 1. LAWS OF VISITING THE SICK (BIKUR CHOLIM)………………….. 6 a. THE OBLIGATION ...... 6 b. PRAYING FOR MERCY ...... 7 c. REWARD FOR VISITING THE ILL ...... 8 d. NO LIMIT FOR VISITING...... 8 e. WHEN WE SHOULD VISIT ...... 10 f. HOW WE SHOULD CONDUCT OURSELVES WHEN VISITING THE ILL ...... 11 g. WHAT WE SHOULD SPEAK ABOUT ...... 12 h. PRAYING FOR THE ILL ...... 15 Prayers for the Ill ...... 17 i. PRAYING FOR A WOMAN HAVING HARDSHIPS WITH CHILDBIRTH ...... 22 j. CONSULTATION WITH A TALMID CHOCHOM ...... 22 k. BLESSING A SICK PERSON ON SHABBOS ...... 22 l. ADDING A NAME ...... 23 m. REDEEMING THE SOUL ...... 23 Adding (Changing) a Name ...... 25 1.1 THE ABRIDGED HAVINEINU PRAYER ...... 27 1.2 A SICK PERSON SHOULD BLESS HIS CHILDREN ...... 27 1.3 CONFESSION BEFORE ONE’S DEATH – VIDUY ...... 28 1.4 GRATITUDE OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN HEALED ...... 30 2. LAWS CONCERNING A DYING PERSON …………………………… 31 a. PREPARING FOR AN IMMINENT DEATH ...... 31 Prayer to be Recited at Imminent Death ...... 32 b. WHAT TO DO AND SAY IF YOUR ARE PRESENT AT A DEATH ...... 33 Prayer by Those Present at a Death ...... 35 c. GUARDING THE BODY ...... 36 d. WHAT TO DO ON SHABBOS ...... 37 3. SELECTED LAWS OF THE ONAN ……………………………………… 37 4. LAWS OF PURIFYING THE CORPSE AND THE BURIAL ………… 39 a. PREPARATIONS ...... 39 b. WASHING THE BODY...... 39 c. THE BURIAL SHROUDS ...... 40 d. CHILDREN ...... 42 e. GENERAL RULES ...... 43 f. ESCORTING THE DECEASED TO THE GRAVE...... 43 5. TZIDUK HADIN – ACCEPTING THE JUDGMENT ………………….. 44 6. KRIAH – RENDING THE GARMENT AND MATTERS DEALING WITH THE BURIAL ……………………………………………………… 45 a. MATTERS DEALING WITH THE GRAVE ...... 46 b. AFTER THE BURIAL ...... 47 Kaddish L'ischadsoh ...... 48 Prayer to be Recited after the Burial ...... 49

1 TOTZAOS CHAYIM – ISSUES OF LIFE

El Molei Rachamim ...... 50 d. UPON LEAVING A CEMETERY ...... 51 e. ACCOMPANYING THE MOURNER HOME ...... 52 7. LAWS OF MOURNING …………………………………………………… 53 a. WHEN DOES MOURNING BEGIN? ...... 53 b. SITTING ON A CHAIR ...... 53 c. WEARING TEFILLIN ...... 53 d. THE FIRST MEAL – THE MEAL OF CONDOLENCE ...... 54 e. WEARING LEATHER SHOES ...... 54 f. MARITAL RELATIONS ...... 54 g. DOING WORK ...... 54 h. LEARNING TORAH ...... 55 i. BLESSING THE MOON ...... 55 j. TRAVELING OUTSIDE OF THE HOME ...... 55 k. EXTENDING GREETINGS ...... 55 l. LIGHTING A CANDLE, THE NER TOMID ...... 56 m. CLOTHING ...... 56 n. MINORS ...... 56 o. MOURNING ON SHABBOS ...... 57 p. WHEN IS MOURNING OVER? ...... 57 q. THE MINYAN AND PRAYERS IN THE MOURNER’S HOUSE ...... 57 r. BATHING...... 59 s. SHLOSHIM ...... 59 t. WHEN MOURNING IS CANCELLED ...... 59 u. THE SHLOSHIM, OTHER MATTERS OF SHIVA, AND THE HOLIDAYS ...... 60 v. SHMUA KROVA (TIMELY TIDINGS) AND SHMUA RECHOKA (DELAYED TIDINGS) ...... 62 w. KADDISH...... 63 x. THE YAHRZEIT ...... 64 8. RULES OF THE MOURNER’S KADDISH ……………………………… 65 9. LEARNING IN THE HOUSE OF THE MOURNER ……