Retreat Information and Essays Pir Elias Amidon
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COMING HOME RETREAT — # 1: Retreat Information and Essays Pir Elias Amidon © Sufi Way ________________________________________ Contents: Outline of Retreat Etiquette of Small Group Circles Bibliography The Welcoming Practice Impermanence and Love _________________ Outline of Retreat Session 1: Introduction; Coming Home. Session 2: The Experience of Aging. (with Gabriel Mezei, Jeanne Rana, Kiran Rana) *** Session 3: Being with Fear, Grief, and Poignancy. (with Kunderke Noverraz, Puran Perez) Session 4: Preparing for Our Own and Others’ Dying Time (with Isha Francis, Ali MacArthur, Umtul Valeton-Kiekens) *** Session 5: Living Deeply with the Awareness of Death (with Puran Perez, Trace Farrell) Session 6: What Happens when We Die? (with Sabah Rafael-Reed, Michael Wenger) *** Session 7: Acceptance, Presence, Awe, and Faith. (with Rabia Elizabeth Roberts, Kiran Rana) Session 8: A Blessed Life. COMING HOME Retreat April-May 2021 ________________________________ A few points on the etiquette of participating in the small group Zoom Circles: • Speak from your heart • Listen from your heart • Mutual respect • Be of “lean expression” • Give time for everyone to speak • Confidentiality • Allow silence • Signal when you’re finished speaking • No hierarchy, no experts in the circle • Close the circle with a bow These one-hour Zoom Circles are a chance for us to meet together “face-to-face” to share what’s coming up for us during the retreat. These Circles are an integral part of the retreat — we can learn so much from each other and what we’re going through in our lives. The person who sent you the Zoom invitation has the role of being the facilitator for each meeting. They will do their best to keep the flow going and help the group keep to the points of etiquette above. However, the facilitator is not the teacher or guide or leader of the group; they are simply offering their help with this etiquette. How each group meeting proceeds is up to the group. Your group may wish to begin with a “go- around” in which each person speaks for a few minutes on a suggested theme or question. Usually during this period there would be no “cross-talk” — each person’s expression would be allowed to stand as it is. After this initial “go-around,” the group may wish to have a more open conversation, asking questions of each other or making comments. Alternatively, your group might wish to have a more free-flowing conversation to begin with, and comments on what someone just said would be fine. Basically, everyone should be sensitive to allowing time for each person to speak (although no one should feel obliged to speak). Many groups have found it helpful for each person to conclude their comments by saying something like, “That’s all I need to say,” to signal to others that they’re finished. It’s also helpful to close the Circle with a bow, or putting your hand on your heart, to acknowledge the honesty and presence of the others in the Circle, and your gratitude. Coming Home Retreat April—May, 2021 ________ Bibliography Aging The Grace in Aging, Kathleen Dowling Singh If you read just one book on aging, I’d suggest this one. Still Here - Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying, Ram Dass Excellent, tender, profound. Aging for Beginners, Ezra Bayda A good introduction. Friendly. What Are Old People For? William Thomas Good overview of the journey of aging. Come of Age, Stephen Jenkinson This is a work of art. Long, poetic, profound. Critical of “the death trade.” Old Age, Helen Luke. Five essays on growing into old age. Jungian, literary, insightful, elegant. From Age-ing to Sage-ing, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi Good wisdom. Staring at the Sun — Overcoming the Terror of Death, Irvin D. Yalom. A psychiatrist’s account of case studies of people with varying degrees of death phobia. Grieving Bearing the Unbearable, Joanne Cacciatore A beautifully written and helpful book on the way of grief. The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller Powerful tools and community rituals for being with loss. It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine Intimate help for the grieving. Coming Home Bibliography (contd.) Dying The Grace in Dying, Kathleen Dowling Singh If you read just one book on dying, I’d suggest this one. A Year to Live, Stephen Levine A treasure for facing our death awake. Who Dies? Stephen Levine Same as above – a treasure. Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them), Sallie Tisdale A brilliant book, straightforward, captivating. Mind Beyond Death, Dozgchen Ponlop Rinpoche. Clearly written, excellent view of Tibetan views of dying and death. Die Wise - A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul, Stephen Jenkinson Like his Come of Age, this is a work of art. Long, fascinating, inspiring. Five Meditations on Death - In Other Words…On Life, Francois Cheng A poetic and profound little book that I’ve read four times. The Soul, Whence and Whither, Hazrat Inayat Khan. Transcribed lectures on the soul’s journey by a Sufi master. Making Friends with Death—A Buddhist Guide to Encountering Mortality, Judith Lief. Excellent manual for embracing our own and others’ mortality. Advice on Dying and Living a Better Life, The Dalai Lama. Tibetan Buddhist wisdom. On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross The original classic book on life, death and transition. The Tunnel and the Light, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Essential insights plus ‘Letter to a Child with Cancer’ Intimate Death, Marie de Hennezel By a psychologist working in a hospice in Paris. Written from a loving perspective. Being with Dying, Joan Halifax Excellent Buddhist perspective on the transformative power of the dying process. Coming Home Bibliography (contd.) To Die Well, S. Wanzer, MD and J. Glenmullen, MD Practical information and advice for the dying time. Dealing Creatively with Death, Ernest Morgan A manual of death education and simple burial. Good practical information. Lessons from the Dying, Rodney Smith Good suggestions for meditations and exercises. Proof of Heaven, Eben Alexander, M.D. One of the most fascinating accounts of near-death experience, by a neurosurgeon. Facing Death and Finding Hope, A Guide to the Emotional and Spiritual Care of the Dying, Christine Longaker. Excellent manual for those caring for the dying. Preparing to Die, Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition, Andrew Holecek. Just what the subtitle says. Very thorough. The Welcoming Practice The Welcoming Practice is a fusion of guidance from several mystical traditions: Christianity, Sufism, Zen, Advaita, and Dzogchen in particular. It has its most direct antecedents in the Christian Centering Prayer practice as developed by a number of Catholic mystics (Merton, Keating, Menninger, Pennington, Bourgeault, and others) inspired by the 14th Century text The Cloud of Unknowing and the practices of earlier desert ascetics. However, this Welcoming Practice is a distinct variation drawing from the praxis of several traditions, which is one reason I call it the Welcoming Practice — it welcomes these various forms of guidance that are united in their devotion to the same mystery. The Welcoming Practice has three aspects: Bow Inside; Consent to Silence; and Welcome Love. Though I’ll describe them here in sequence, you may find that when you engage in this practice these three aspects mingle and occur within and through each other and are not as separate as they might sound in this description. Bow Inside When you sit down to begin your meditation practice, very likely a sense of your self-identity sits down with you. Since it’s your “self-identity” — what you believe yourself to be — it can be hard to spot. To “bow inside” means to relinquish whatever that identity is, at least for these moments. It is a simple move of humility — to bow — to open yourself directly to the simple presence you are, prior to your self-concepts. No decorations, no stories, just your simple clear presence in the moment, bowing before (or within) the sacred mystery of all being. As an early Sufi advised, “Put your forehead on the prayer mat and don’t presume.” The “move” of bowing inside isn’t a physical movement, although it can have a kinaesthetic feel to it. Like a physical bow, this bow is a move toward self-effacement and unpretentiousness, a giving-over of one’s insularity: “Take me away from myself!” as Ibn Arabi cries in his beautiful prayer. To bow inside means to offer yourself in all humility, in your simple presence, during the sacred moments of this practice. Just your clear presence, nothing more. In her wonderful descriptions of Centering Prayer, Cynthia Bourgeault points to a single line in The Cloud of Unknowing that suggests the essence of what I mean by bowing inside: it is to have, as the anonymous author of The Cloud writes: “Naked intent direct to God.” It is this “nakeding” that is the interior bow, an unclothing of your personhood to its simplicity and readiness, for in this practice you are inviting “God” to be with you, to open yourself to the unspeakable mystery of the numinous. To welcome its presence you cannot come adorned with self-identity; you have to come naked. Here you may wish to replace the word “God” with some other signifier that means the same thing — Naked intent direct to Pure Awareness, or Naked intent direct to Buddha Nature, or Naked intent direct to Silence. Consent to Silence “Consent to silence” is Father Thomas Keating’s concise instruction for this process of “nakeding.” To consent is to allow, to open to the openness that is silent, that is the background of every moment of our lives. One way to consent in this way is to recognize that our very capacity to listen is silent.