THE CORD
A WILFRID LAURIER STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME XXXIII ISSUE 24 MARCH 4. 1993 Bare breasts tolerated Pat Brethour Cord News "What the law now applies to is what you would expect it to Five women charged with com- apply to, like men masturbating mitting an indecent act after in public." they bared their breasts at a A videotape of the protest ral- July protest rally were ac- ly was a deciding factor in Mon- quitted on Monday in day's trial. Kitchener provincial court. "She [Judge McGowan] Judge Katie McGowan ruled remarked that no one seemed to that the breast-baring at the July be disturbed by the women baring 18 "Walk-A-Breast" protest was their breasts at the protest. No not indecent, since the manner in one even seemed to be titillated. which the women displayed their In fact, people were quite blase breasts was non-erotic and would about it," said Jill Copeland. be tolerated by most Canadians. "The judge stated very strong- The rally was held to protest ly in herreason that what was im- the conviction of Gwen Jacob, a portant was the nature of the ex- 21 year old University of Guelph posure, that it wasn't erotic in na- student, who was charged with ture and didn't have harmful ef- committing an indecent act when fects." she removed her shirt on the But assistant Crown attorney streets of Guelph during a hot Denise Dwyer, the prosecutor for July day in 1991. the case, says Monday's verdict Despite the five women's ac- doesn't necessarily mean women quittal, the effect of Monday's are free to bare their breasts. verdict remains unclear. "It's not carte blanche to Women bearing their breasts women to take their tops off any- is no longer a criminal act, says where and everywhere," she said. Jill Copeland, an articling student "These kind of decisions are (the for Clayton Ruby defense going to have to be decided on a he women wno bared their breasts in Waterloo Park are seeing positive results. File Photo lawyer for the five women). case-by-case basis." shopping," said Adel Arnold, one the eyes of sexist people that it they're considering Gwen Jacob's "The law is still on the books, Adel Arnold, one of the five of the five women charged at the would be immoral." case." but the way the law's phrased just women acquitted on Monday, "Walk-A-Breast" protest. Dwyer said charges could still As for an appeal in Monday's states that anyone who commits however, feels that she now has "But if I wish to take my top be laid against Arnold, at the dis- case, all Denise Dwyer will say is an indecent act commits an of- the "freedom of choice" to bare off to mow my lawn or get a cretion of the police, depending that the decision to appeal is "un- fense. But the judge has stated her breasts. suntan, that should be my upon the "time, place and context der review." that the non-erotic exposure of fe- not saying I'm going to "I'm privilege. We were being totally of the baring of breasts." Adel Arnold of Cambridge, male breasts is not an indecent walk down the main street of natural and normal. It's only in The not guilty verdict Anne Hansen of Toronto, Renee act," said Copeland. Cambridge topless and do my seemingly contravenes the earlier Beneteau of Kitchener, Sheena conviction against Gwen Jacob, McGrath of Waterloo, Tamara acceptable which is currently being ap- Robinson of Petersburg and a Editor defines pealed. cannot be identified youth who that bisexualism is "an excuse for people who are Arnold believes that the out- were charged with committing an Steve Doak Cord News too damn horny and don't want to behave come of Monday's trial will in- indecent act after baring their responsibly." fluence Jacob's appeal. breasts at the "Walk-A-Breast" The Monday, February issue of the Elmira Inde- 22 Jim Parrott, a member of Gay and Lesbian "It's not binding on the Court titled protest. pendent included an editorial by Bob Verdun Liberation of Waterloo has filed a complaint with of Appeal because [Kitchener Kitchener-Waterloo was the "Some types of behaviour will always be un- the Ontario Human Rights Commission in response provincial] court is a lower only place such charges were laid acceptable, and not a matter of 'rights.'" to the article. court," she said. "Certainly the Canada, despite similar In this article, Verdun, the editor of the Inde- in Parrott said "I consider it hate literature...l was Court of Appeal will have a in cities pendent, an on behalf of the news- protests other offered apology surprised it was published in this day and age." it when paper for publishing advertisement for a chance to consider an He said Verdun confused the issue of 'bisexual support group.' The advertisement was bisexuality with the issues of promiscuity, al- removed from the paper. coholism, and the spread of AIDS. Because of this, Verdun wrote that the advertisement violated "the the editorial accomplished nothing. standards necessary for a sustainable, responsible bisexuality as "someone who society". Parrott defined capacity to be attracted to members of either He said definitely not something to has the "bisexuality is to INSIDE sex" and had nothing do with promiscuity. be extolled or promoted" because it "involves un- He said Verdun didn't sufficiently research the acceptable risks of spreading venereal diseases." issue and instead based his editorial on stereotypes. He said that by definition bisexuals are promis- News In an interview with the Cord, Verdun divulged cuous and therefore unacceptable. He said bisexuals Waterloo wipes out CFS page 3 further on his opinion that "bisexualism is crap." He are unable to restrain their urges and they "deserve said "typical bisexuals have too many partners." His society's condemnation, not its 'support.'" rationalization was that society has not completely He said the Kitchener-Waterloo Record used dealt with the issue of bisexuality, and thus Sports sensationalism in an article supportive of are considered outcasts. "If you are out- Hockey Hawks season ends page 9 bisexuality. bisexuals cast you might as well have fun," and therefore The bisexual support group was then compared to alcoholics demanding the right to "drink ex- promiscuity is part of the issue of bisexuality. Entertainment cessively" and to a higher blood alcohol He wrote the editorial because he wanted to drive with the page 15 level. Verdun said both bisexualism and alcoholism take a stand and not be "wimpy." He explained "we hHead best choice are "excessive types of behaviour that need to be have a society full of wimpy people that never take curbed, not supported" because they can cause a stand on anything." "considerable damage to society, and major health He criticized the Record staff and said "I think Comment costs for taxpayers." they're idiots." Racism and the police page 22 In this Monday's issue of the Record, Luisa The group whose advertisement began the issue, D'Amato criticized Verdun's article and his censor- the South-Westem Ontario Bisexual Network, met ship of the advertisement. She quoted him as saying for the first time at Laurier on Monday night. THE CORD 2 Advertisement- Thursday, March 4. 199.1 (jf) MS§(tessrHfira # STAGE MVM6 T\vo great pizzas! One low price! Always! Always! PERFECT IW 883-5050 6 Locations serving Kit best value COUPON ■" II II 1 CRAZY BREAD i Thafs 8 freshly baked bread sticks brushed TwoT T Vr OnTwO*JLJL JL TT \3 § I with garlic, topped with parmesan cheese. I I ' ,d) pizzas 99<» Plus Tax Mease requesl Qazy Breed when placing order \ LAYERS of coupon (oej EMte | ■ -iSS- IWo great pizzas! One©Offerlow price: Always! Always! 4r ©1993 little Caesn Inc. 9mm mmm best VALUE COUPON "mm" """" I————————J MONDAY MONDAY I I 2 MEDIUM A X yyOO WMss PCPPERONIPIZZAS y 133 Weber St. N digrc f\ Tax Next to the Zellers Plaza Valid Every Monday Plus Wwf nJ* through April i 2, 19y3 Mf Waterloo Mm ,CT— 746-4983 COME INAND EAT CLEARING BEFORE WE BOIH STARVE 1992 BICYCLES 103KING STRUTN.,WATtRLOO PHONE: 884-CHIP ■BffiSCHILI/ SOUP/ grilled AAA v TOAST TOAST chh>Ie/ '99 * CAN EAT I* A9S ONE FANTASTIC BIKE CHAIN Blli ■Ml FISH & CHIPS 4» WWHJQINUS & WiNG IT WFj O C jjjlj EVERY THURSDAY #,_ WINGS I AFTER HOURS g COMBO PLATTER o > COMPLIMENTARY! Got to be CLINIC m shhmp.chickn, joc 2 Kjng street S. (at Erb) OSSSps 4* t j Crazy not to go. Waterloo 725-2807 RIB / YORKSHIRE PUDDING j E&SSiS kuS2V£GOtES Q9S"• I Goodbye A patio Come be Brian for WilFs? a Cordie. page 5 page 6 page 8 : NIELSEN NewsEDITOR : SHELDON PAGE ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR INGRID rNEWS CFS causes controversy Greg Sloan Cord News plainton. She says the referendum Spears says that the No side never tried to take control of the to take that route." policy and its guidelines were fol- controlled the running ofthe elec- meeting." Spears says she feels if the University of Waterloo students lowed. tion, and that No side member and Spears says the students did students were informed about what decidedin a referendum on Feb- She adds that shecan' t see any former C.R.O. Glen Rutland tried not have very much information they were voting on they would not ruary 9 and 10 to revoke their reason why the referendum would to take control of the meetings. on the Yes committee's platform have chosen to leave the C.F.S. It membership in the Canadian be made void, and she would like Rutland denies this, saying that becauseofthedecisionsofKurvitz. was their only national voice, and Federation of Students. to see the matter resolved as soon Kurvitz asked both sides to be Crack says they had expressed she believes Waterloo should have The decision is now under as possible. present at the meetings to give concern over what they saw as a strong voice in Parliament. appeal by the C.F.S. because they The concerns which the Yes their views. The No side had lodged blatant lies in the Yes side's pam- Rutland says that students feel the referendum was improp- Committee at the University and many complaints about the Yes phlet. She says both sides agreed voted no simply because they were erly run. the C.F.S. have is with the way the campaign, and Kurvitz asked them the matter would not be taken be- dissatisfied with theC.F.S., which The C.F.S. sent a letter to the Chief Returning Officer ran the what they wanted done inresponse fore the C.R.O. if the Yes side he feels was not addressing the Federation of Students at Water- election. Yes committee member, to these complaints. revised the pamphlets. concerns of the university on edu- loo voicing their concerns. Sue Tammy Spears felt thatthe C.R.0., Rutland agrees that he spoke "What they came to us with cational issues. Crack of the Federation says they Andreas Kurvitz, showed a bias up many times during the meet- were completely different flyers Another concern was that have responded to the lawyer of toward the No side. Spers says that ings, but he says it was only to which held even more blatant lies," Waterloo paid $60 000 a year and the C.F.S., and have not yet had a Kurvitz would ask members on speed up the process. "I just spoke Crack says. had only one vote while the P.E.I. reply. Crack says she cannot see the No side for interpretation of Up to clarify what Kurvitz was She adds that according to Graduate students pay $120 and what they are basing their com- election policy. trying to say so we could go on. I referendum guidelines all mate- also have one vote. rial must go through the executive Rutland feels that leaving secretary before it is printed. These C.F.S. opens up new opportunities Course calendar shows the pamphlets were printed outside of with the 70% of CanadianUniver- the executive secretary, thus break- sities who are not in C.F.S. Rutland ing the guidelines. says they will start looking for new extent of Laurier's cutbacks Crack says"the opportunity alternatives with these other was there for them to work within schools, particularly business ar- Steve Doak CordNews thebook store. The administration the guidelines and thev chose not rangements. expects that 4 000 fewer copies The release of the undergrad will be needed because of this. calendar and timetable for next A more noticeable change is a year has revealed the extent of decrease in the number of classes the university's efforts to save offered this year. money. In a letter by Terry Copp to To begin with, the course cal- Lorna Marsden, he complained endar has been changed. This year, that in the faculty of Arts & Sci- full-credit courses will be marked ence, thepart-time teaching budget with asterisks which in the past was reduced by $228 000. This indicated half-term courses. The will cause the elimination of fifty- type size was reduced and the seven one-term course. course descriptions are now in a The Department of Sociology two column format. and Anthropology said it "cannot The administration also guarantee sufficient places in so- enacted a "sunset provision," ciology courses for General Soci- which removed courses from the ology students" next year. The calendar that have not been con- department does notexpectto have The knife went in deep this year, have you felt it's effects yet? Pic: Scott McKay ducted in the past seven years. any places for non-sociology stu- Forty-nine courses were thus elimi- dents who seek sociology electives. discussing possible changes in the calculated on a cumulative basis. maining in Honours programs from nated. Dr. Peter Eglin announced this university's policy on progression These matters were discussed year to year. Meanwhile, the Due to these changes, this problem to the senate at theirmeet- from year to year. The committee at the senate meeting on Tuesday number of electives in senior years year's calendar is 100pages shorter ing on the twenty-seventh of Janu- has recommended that common night. are being decreased. than last year's. ary. progression requirements should The Committee's investiga- Many members of the univer- One calendar will be given to Since that meeting, the Senate be established for all Honours pro- tions indicated that installing the sity community have indicated that each student this year, with addi- Academic Planning Committee, grams. It also recommended that new progression policy will in- they fear Laurier's ability to offer tional copies available for$3.00 in chaired by Don Baker, has been grade point averages should be crease the number of students re- degrees is seriously threatened. Emergency procedures Lianne Jewitt cord News Marsden onVeltKuary 19,1993. will be taken should this type of crisis arise. should know that when notified to Due to last October's bomb emergency occur again. Evacuation procedures, the evacuate, they are to take personal The long awaited Emergency scare on campus, students are cu- Pat Ferraro, WLU Environ- closing of the university in case of belongings with them when they Response Plan (ERP) was signed rious about why the university was mental/Health and Safety co- an emergency, and consequences leave, close their doors, walk to by WLU President Lorna not betterprepared, and what steps ordinator agrees that it is "very of violating the policy are all ad- the nearest exit, stay clear of the important to have formalized pro- dressed in the plan. building and immediately go to cedures in case of an emergency." All parts of the plan "will be the designated waiting area, or For this reason, Ferraro said she reviewed annually" to ensure their vacate the premises completely. had "been working on this (ERP) effectiveness, Ferraro said. Individuals are not to re-en- long before the bomb threat." Now that WLU finally has an ter the building/campus unless When asked why the ERP had ERP, how are the students going to authorized by Security, or until the taken so long, Ferraro said it is be made aware of necessary proce- termination of the emergency. "not something you can rush dures? The ERP states that, "Mem- through." Students will not each receive bers of the University community The ERP begins with three their own eight-page copies. In- with disabilities will be responsi- objectives which are to minimize stead, Ferraro is hopeful that the ble for clarifying their needs prior human injury, to minimize dam- ERP "will be referred to in the to an emergency. They will be age to property, and to keep the Student Handbook" prior to the required to self-identify at the university and public informed start of each new academic year. Environmental/Health and Safety while returning to normal opera- Ferraro also wants to "sit down Office." tions. with the Dons at training camp," This type of awareness is key Through the use of an Emer- to familiarize them with the ERP to the ERP. "It's fine to have a gency Response Team, the univer- so they can pass the information plan," Ferraro said, "but it needs sity community will be informed on to residence members. to be implemented; people need to is finally Laurier ready for all emergencies. File Photo of emergency procedures should a As for now, all individuals be aware of it." THE CORD 4 News Thursday, March 4.' 1993 Fashion show hits Roof Libbi Hood Cord News to information about birth control. fundraisers by Bouckaert. Most of Students are also responsible The organization also provides ROOF's services are provided by for choreography, music, set con- Students have organized Lau- referrals to other agencies for sub- over 50 volunteers, including some struction, and even some of the rier's first fashion show for char- stance abuse, legal services and Laurier students. clothes design. Choreography is ity- education. Laurier students are the back- especially important as the show is Allproceeds from All the Rage ROOF offers some lighter bone of the fashion show, which is more dance oriented than a tradi- '93 go to the organization ROOF services as well, including an art being organized and funded by tional fashion show. (Reaching Our Outdoor Friends). group, a drama group, sports pro- Rob Yeung, a 3rd year Economics There is no specific theme to All ROOF is a Kitchener based coun- grams, and recreation. student. Yeung believes a fashion the Rage'93 as it tries to appeal to selling agency andresource centre An outreach program goes show will interest a diverse range a varied audience. Clothesare pro- for homeless young people between directly to the people in the streets of students, and hopes the show vided by Eye in the Sky, Surrender the ages of 12 and 25. to increase awareness and provide becomes an annual event. Dorothy, Canary Island, Stars, and ROOF offers a wide variety of both prepared food and condoms. Preparation for the fashion The Bridal Penthouse. Music services. Food, and shelter are the Workshops in other settings also show began when signs for audi- ranges from Harry Connick Jr. to or for $6 at the door. The show basics, as well as clothing, show- aim to increase awareness. tions went up in late September. Janet Jackson. begins at 8:00pm, on both March ers, laundry facilities, and baby Both UW and Laurier have Most of the models are Laurier Tickets are on sale for $4 at 12 and 13, in the Theatre audito- clothing. Counselling services of- worked with ROOF in the past students, and all are in some way the Centre Spot, HMV on Univer- rium, the fashion show is a li- fered range from cooking lessons through activities such as affiliated with Laurier. sity Avenue, and from the models, censed event. Forum on student woes Scott McKay Cord News veloped several initiatives ofwhich population, each initiative was the consensus was that Laurier sponded "...ifI want to watch TV they feel would be effective direc- discussed at length. was known for advertising the I'll stay home." An open forum in the Concourse tions for the University to follow. The issues that received the small class size and so it should It was mentioned that in addi- last Wednesday provided an op- The Students' Union is com- most attention were that of larger remain. The students remarked tion to actual live teaching, elec- portunity for students to voice piling a paper with student opin- class sizes and the idea of having that the intimacy of the smaller tronic tools could be used to aug- their concerns on the issue of ion for presentation to the admin- professors piped into classrooms class is desired. ment a course on closed circuit. academic restructuring. istration. for the students to watch via televi- The whole idea of the televi- The finishedpaper will be pre- The Advisory Committee on Although the turnout was sion. sions in the classrooms was thought sented to the administration on Academic Restructuring has de- hardly representative of the school With regard to the class sizes, to be undesirable. One student re- Wednesday, March 3rd. I m-- 0',, ,11 CRIME- - ■, |I, | February 23 THEFT - A WLU student reported that her knapsack had been taken I while she was on the fifth floor of the Library. A short search of the area located the bag in another aisle with all contents in order. Where can you get management experience, February 25 work in a lively atmosphere and learn skills of POSSESSION OF STOLEN PROPERTY - (0055 hrs): A WLU unlimited potential? student was apprehended on Chancellor Dr. carrying a chair from Wilf's. The accused claimed to have found the chair outside the Student Union Building. At the same time a cue ball from the pool table at Wilf's was found in his pocket. The suspect was at a loss to The WLU Students' Union is the place! explain how the ball had gotten into his pocket. The suspect was Job applications are NOW AVAILABLE for the highly intoxicated at the time. This matter is being forwarded to the Dean's Advisory Council to be dealt with. 1993-94 academic school year in the Student FAIL TO REMAIN - (1920 hrs): A vehicle was reported to have Union offices. struck another in lot #3 and had left the scene. The damage was very minor. The incident is still under investigation. Wilf's, the February 26 Openings include TURRET and MISCHIEF - (0120 hrs): Person(s) unknown broke one of the gate the Centre Spot for student management at parking lot #20. There are no suspects at this time. J positions in addition to all of the other positions.Come up and ask! TAKE PHOTOS Deadlines for Student Manager-March 12, 1993 Deadlines for other positions-March 26, 1993 FOP THE COPP! v / CHICKEN CHOKER 1 1 sundaJmnight coupon entitles the bearer to a basket of our largest, juiciest order of wings I BURGER SPECIAL for only $4 (plus taxes). I Good only 5-9pm Thursday. . $1.991/2 LB. Valid until March 11/93 & MThis Dine-in Only BURGER FRIES i\lJ "drink purchase necessary I "drink purchase necessary THE CORD Thursday. March 4, 1993 News 5 A fond farewell for PM Mike Loeters Commentary The Prime Minister has often direct the heat on himself because Again, to my surprise, many market." been described as the most hated in his mind his days were already were extremely kind when asked "A necessary move." Since the announced resignation Prime Minister in Canadian his- numbered. what history will say twenty years "Sleeping with the enemy." of Brian Mulroney from his po- tory, but now there seems to be a On the other hand, his efforts from now about Mulroney on the Foreign Policy sition as Prime Minister and sense of a change in attitude among since 1989suggest that perhaps he following issues. "A great statesman and well re- leader of the Progressive Con- the general Canadian population. did want a positive name for him- spected." servative Party, there has been Many of my friends who con- self in the history books. His at- National Unity "U.S. puppet." some talk about how he will be fessed to hating the man, have tempts to unite the country, tackle "Obsessed with national unity but "Nominated for U.N. Secretary- remembered and treated by his- recently surprised me with some aboriginal issues, and introduce failed." General position." tory. kind words. Did they hate him Canada to the global economy on "Wanted his name in history for Aboriginal Issues When watching the CBC and previously only because it was a a grand scale may be examples. uniting the country." "Oka peacemaker." other media ask this question of fad? Was it just antagonism to- Looking back, myself, over "A gambler." "Took action on aboriginal issues." ordinary Canadians, it is surpris- wards politicians in general? the Mulroney years, made me won- "Too bad it was Brian's view and "Laid the groundwork for future ing to note the stark contrast of What also surprised me was der how my children' s history texts not Canada's view." negotiations." sentiments from what you would the news that the Prime Minister will treat him. What I then decided The Economy "Too bad he could not have done have expected to hear only weeks had planned to resign in 1989 but to do was gather the comments of "He ballooned the deficit." as well with Quebec." earlier. held off due to poor timing. This various individuals now, and see "Good-bye welfare state and uni- With an unarguably poor may explain why he did many of what sentiments seem to be preva- versality." Regardless of this sense of standing in the polls for more than things hedid, and made the "tough lent. Years down the road I could "He did the best he could." new-foundkindness, I donot think two years, one wonders how feel- decisions." There can be no doubt look back and compare this to how Free Trade that there are many who would be ings could have changed so sud- that he wanted to protect his party, history decided to characterize his "Sold out to the U.S." willing to say they want him back denly. so he may have been willing to reign. "Launched Canada into the global or are sad to see him go. Election Update Nominations for the WLU Sen- ate and the Board of Gover- nors student positions as well as the by-election for the three remaining Student Publica- tions Board of Directors posi- tions are opening on Thursday March 4, and will be closing on Thursday March 11. There are eight Senate posi- Jopiimp tions and two Board of Gover- nors positions up for grabs. The election for the Senate and the Board of Governors posi- tions will take place from Mon- no air day March 22 to Saturday March 27. The by-election for the Board ofPublications positions as well as some referendum questions no bullshit will take place on Thursday '-''" v •'• fit "« March 25. lightweight f§, ;; B comfortable OOPS! 1 1 durable $P ■ I112 We I A dual-density polyurethane sole KivH I I goofed I is injected directly on to a quality # ■ |i I twice! I ' Last week's Little Caesar's that's it! ad was incorrect. k The price for two small pizzas is A- $8.98, not $6.99 as advertised. I The ad for Cyclepath should have read All I 1992 bicycles UP TO I ' AVAILABLE AT ' 133 Weber St. N We regret any ? Next to the Zellers Plaza | [({f\ inconveniences. Waterloo 746-4983 FOOTWEAR fr| THE CORD 6 News Thursday. March 4. 199? Plan gives Wilf's a patio Dr. Berczi yesterday. to provide an impressive entry to This proposal would double The Union requests that it be in- BORED Joe Somfay visited the meet- the building. the size of the building at a cost of cluded in decisions about these ing to outline preliminary archi- An addition to the south side $4,674,540. The Union will prob- matters as the representatives of WATCH tectural plans. He is an architect of the building would principally ably request the use of these funds the students. hired by the Administration to or- accommodate student services, from the students in a referendum The response also requests a STUDENTS' UNION ganize a feasibility study ofexpan- freeing up the student services towards the end of this month. better evaluation system both for sion of the SUB. building for other uses by the uni- This referendum will be con- courses and professors. Students Steve Doak Commentary Somfay said his task was to versity. ducted in conjunction with the are called customers of Laurier show to the Union and the Admin- The largest part of the expan- Senate and Board ofGovernor elec- who are concerned with customer Times are changing and the Stu- istration the maximum use of the sion would be to the east of the tions and the StudentPublications satisfaction in the quality of edu- dents' Union Board ofDirectors space available in a way that was building into the quad. A food by-election. cation received. is set to improve the lives of the aesthetically pleasing. court on the lower level would Christina Craft presented a Most of the points in the re- students, the rest of the univer- The plans that resulted from open onto the courtyard. Wilf's response to the Academic Restruc- sponseagree with the committee's sity community, and indeed, the this study are currently available turing Committee's preliminary report. It also keeps the Union entire world. in the Union's office. They in- Student Union report. A finalresponse composed involved in the current plans for During their meeting on Sun- clude expansion on the north, east, of feedback from an open forum change. day they discussed plans to in- and south sides of the building. Building expansion and the comments of the BOD will Another similar response will crease their influence on the pow- The plans state that an area be sent to the administration. probably be necessaryat the end of ers that be - the Administration. similar to the Concourse would be would be expanded to the east and This response re-iterates the March, when the final report from First, the BOD addressed their added on the north side of the an outdoor patio would be added. Union's demand for quality edu- the committee will be released. proposal for expansion of the Stu- building connected to the Con- On the upper floors, office space cation of the students. The pri- Other business was tabled dent Union Building. The plan course. A large set of stairs would would be increased and a confer- mary concerns raised pertain to until Wednesday evening due to was presented to Dr. Marsden and lead up to this area from the quad ence room would be added. class size and class availability. time constraints. THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY la a iia n la^ 1! ilil 8:00pm-Spring 10:00am-Church s:3opm-Women in 12:00pm-Free I:3opm- 2-30 Career Focus ' Career Services Fling- Literary bervices. Seminary. the workplace. concert. John Aird Resume/ACCIS (Council ofK-W PlOO7. Centre. form writing. 10:00a- Summer &nd Arts Council. Career Services. Cultivating Job Search. PlOO5 Dance and 7:oopm- Auction. 19 | jr amine (slides) Food without Senate, BOG, Regina Street. , WLUSUP I ear * * nominations open. MOpm- Cord staff meeting. r — WU> STOPENTf) QNIOM- THE CORD Thursday. March 4. 1993 News 7 WORLD NEWS BOUNDUP I Wilfrid Laurier University Students' Union I Compiled by Patty Chippa Wacko in Waco thinks he's God I >1 (Waco) Violence erupted Sunday morning in Texas when federal agents stormed the grounds of the Branch Davidian cult to search for weapons and arrest the cult's leader, David Koresh. A tense standoff between the cult and authorities occurred until a ceasefire was called in the evening. In the standoff, four U.S. agents and two cultists were killed. Koresh claims he is Jesus Christ. Bomb kills seven in NYC (New York) The parking garage of New York's World Trade Centre exploded last Friday from I A feasibility report is I a car bomb. New York state Gov. Mario Cuomo believed the act was one of terrorism, as the blast occurred very close to parked Secret Service vehicles. Electrical systems were down, ceilings collapsed, and fire caused damage to 110 stories of the building. Seven people died I now ready detailing I in the blast, and over 700 were injured. Brian quits while he's a Fed our expansion plans. last an era I I (Ottawa) Prime Minister Brian Mulroney resigned from his position week, ending in Canadian politics. He will call a leadership convention in June, and will hold a Federal election in the fall. He announced last week that he has done his very best for the country. Newspapers reported him to be one of thebest leaders our country, but certainly one of the least I Architectural I popular. Hindus protest in city's largest riot I Diagrams will be on I (New Delhi) 60,000 people were detained and thousands arrested in an immense protest in India last week. Hindu protesters rioted against the secular government, and attempted to transform the democracy into a right-wing Hindu state. Tear gas and water cannons were fired I display in the I by police, and protesters were beaten with bamboo sticks and rifle butts. Wife in wheelchair beats betrothed with bedpan InfoCentre over the (London) A 79-year-old woman to a wheelchair one was found the I I confined with leg guilty of brutal murder of herhusband last Friday. Mabel Hyams beat her husband to death with aplastic bedpan after years ofreliance on the man. He had constantly reminded her over 40 years of his three extramarital affairs. I next two weeks. We I Guilty goat thrown in "PEN" (Nairobi) A goat stuck his head in a paper bag and fled with S2 in a remote Kenyan town last I are planning: I week, and was consequently jailed for two days. The goat's owner refunded the money, and the furry little critter was freed. It was reported that the goat learned his lesson, as all goats should. I «•*Open Forums I I **A Teacfi-In I I A Press Conference I I An Open House I I A Pamphlet will also I trancl I be distributed to students I mgliifcJy special ofooo I in the election mailout. I o»/ -,r o I We may be ready to I I go to Referendum in I I March, so stay tuned. I Get a 60 oz Pitcher of DRAUGHT, and either an 8 slice PIZZA or a Platter of 15 Wings for only $12.95 Begins at Bpm nightly STUDENTS' UNION Great FootL I I Better Prices | %t. Restaurants 94 Bridgeport Road E.Waterloo Located in the Zellers Plaza 725-9999 THE CORD 8 News Thursday, March 4, 1993 Laid back Cuban retreat Steve Schaus Commentary Canadian bars. Something else which is kind ofneat in Cuba is the I spent my Reading Week in whole concept of the "swim-up" Cuba and I must say that things bar. I think that all public pools in are a little bit different down our province should have one. It there. would certainly prove to be a tre- First ofall, everyone is so laid mendous source of revenue. back. No one is in a hurry to do In our country there is also a anything. The Cuban people com- strict division between the Church pletely lack our Americanized and disco-dancing. This division, mentality that time is money and however, is not prevalent in Cu- therefore, is not to be wasted. Don' t ban society. In the evening, get me wrong. These people are churches are often transformed into very hard working. They justhave discotheques. fewer breakdowns. I definitely felt a little ackward Another sharp contrast be- at first but soon I was dancing tween Cuban society and our own quite comfortably in the "House". can be witnessed in the potent I have to admit that the strobe alcoholic beverages which are lights did make a neat reflection regularly served by their bartend- on the stained-glass windows. Roasting up a storm (or is that a pig?) on the sunny shores of Cuba. Pic: Courtesy of Steve Schaus ers. In Cuba, pop and juice are However, I drew the line at danc- dian man who was using sand- more scarce then alcohol. There- ing on the altar. Some things must Toronto, your hair feels greasy continued on and finally came to a wiches to lure prostitutes into his fore, Cuban bartenders try to wa- be kept sacred. and your face even worse. halt on top of her. She was inevi- bedroom. This really disturbed me ter down your drink with rum. A Perhaps the biggest difference While riding mopeds one fine tably pinned under the bike as it and I later recalled the incident to "cuban libre", for example, would between our two countries can be sunny afternoon, my girlfriend's spewed gasoline all over her. my brother. My brother, being the consist of approximately 25 per- felt in the air that we breath. Cuba horn went off spontaneously. Be- As I stopped my bike, a thought sensitive guy that he is, wanted to cent coca-cola and 75 percent rum. is far less industrialized then ing the girl that she is, she natu- struck me. In Canada, faced with a what kind of sandwiches It actually got to the point Canada and as a result, enjoys rally panicked and jammed on the similar situation, I could simply know they were. where people would be complain- much cleaner air. In Cuba, youcan front breaks. The bike stopped but call an ambulance or the police Have youever seen a pig being ing because their drinks had too actually see stars when you look she continued onward. After she department and help would soon roasted? I have. In Cuba, a plump much alcohol in them. This is a into the sky at night-time. On the was lying in the ditch, like some be on the way. In Cubathis was not porker was cooked all day over an phenomenon seldom witnessed in other hand, after spendinga day in bizarre form of road-kill, the bike the case. There were no pay-phones around and even if you could con- open pit. Believe me, it's much tact someone, it would probably be more difficult to eat meat after awhile before they arrived. Like I you' ve seen it hacked off the actual The Cord: Pros take the cons said, people in Cuba are laid back. animal. However, my deep thought Contrary to popular belief, was eventually, disturbed as my meat is not produced at supermar- trees, wild volunteer appre- Sheldon Page Commentary cant and I tossed in my applica- and girlfriend wanted to know what kets. It comes from real animals. ciation dinners are only some tion. the hell I was doing. "If it's nottoo The pig-fest in Cuba must have to for- The deadline for Cord jobappli- I got the job and the Cord has things a Cordie has look much trouble," she said, "could been a vegetarian's worst night- cations is rapidly approaching. had a hold on me ever since. Being ward to. you please get this damn bikeoff of mare. I think the pig may have If you are interested in belong- a Cord staff member definitely On a more serious note, to see me!" The nerve of some people. winked at me. I'm not sure. How- work in print is a great feel- ing to a group of truly twisted has its good points as well as its your One rather sad incident in ever, I must admit that the little been ac- people (I have heard this phrase bad ones. Let me deal with the bad ing. The Cord has often Cuba involved an elderly Cana- porker was quite tasty. somewhere before) get an appli- one s first. cused of being cliquish, well in a cation in now. You need time and a damn lot way this is true. The Cord works Why would someone want to of it if you plan to hold an editorial as a collective and the staff tend to get involved with the student press position. My GPA can certainly hang out together. Unlike most - and more importantly why would vouch for this. It takes some plan- cliques, our clique is easy to get someone want to join the Cord? ning to do school and your job. into and is not intimidating. All Skin Care and Electrolysis Let me use myselfas an example of The other negative factors include you have to do is come on up and someone has been hooked by deadline and political related help out. I guarantee that you have who -Waxing Cord for two years still stress. probably never met a more diverse - the and I'M- (Yon-Ka Product) loves it. The positive aspects of being a and friendly group of crazies as -Facials I came up to the Cord offices Cordie far outweigh the negative those that are found at the Cord. -Pedicures/Manicures & two years ago with the intentions ones. Weekend long newspaper Please consider applying for a -Eyebrow Eyelash Tinting -Electrolysis of writing for the news section. conferences, dinner at Lorna position while there is still time. Carol D. Currle Well, as it turned out the position Marsden's house, great staff par- The Cord is a great place to dis- 10 SDrina St E "Upstairs at Aesthetically Yours of associate news editor was va- ties, body slamming Christmas cover your creativity. Waterloo, Ont. 888-9622 | gm One-year Post-Graduate Programs in Enrol now in Humber's new, oneyear 68 International Marketing Media Copywriting program starting September This program is especially designed for University and New for September '93 College graduates who want to fast track their knowledge and creativity into a writing career for advertising. • The only business program in • The only business program in • Learn and skills hands-on workshops. Ontario that offers Spanish Ontario that offers Japanese and techniques in language instruction and Latin Mandarin culture and language • Work with the related disciplines of art, broadcast and media. American culture. instruction. • Learn the dynamics advertising industry • of the • Instuctors with extensive business Instuctors with extensive business -the emerging trends. and Latin American experience. and Asian experience. • Solve real advertising case histories. • Optional residential programs in • Optional cooperative experience • Build your professional portfolio. Mexico on completion., with companies in Asia. Humber • Get industry experience with /f"K ©S)DD@(|]@ To qualify, you need a three-year university degree, HlllTlbCr 8 weeks of field placement. 1141 three year college diploma, or five years equivalent work (C©oo(B(|j@ • Successful completion will lead to iTJk a certificate and job opportunities. Call (416) 675-5000, or 1-800-268-4867, for information Delivering World Class Business Education I Fights break Curling out in A\C !!! season ends SPORTS page 12 page 13 SPORTS EDITOR: EVAN BAILEY Streak and season end John Lavigne Cord Sports past him. All was not his fault, however, because it seemed the The Waterloo Warriors are remainder of the Hawks thought the hockey champions of the game time was 8 p.m. instead of Kitchener-Waterloo region for 7:30. 1992-93. Troy Stephens got things roll- The Warriors trounced the ing for the Warriors just 25 sec- Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks onds into the game as he corralled 10-4 at the Waterloo Memorial a loose puck just inside the arena on Monday night to win Laurier blueline and threaded his their best-of-three Ontario Uni- way around a couple of defenders versity Athletic Association West to slide the puck past Pracey. Not Division semi-final 2-1. a good start for the Hawks. The Warriors now advance to The Warriors came out play- the best-of-three final against the ing a very physical game and this Guelph Gryphons. The winner of led to the first powerplay of the the series earns a berth in the game. The Hawks were applying Queen's Cup against the winner a little bit of pressure, looking for of the East Division, either the the equalizer, when the puck Varsity Blues of Toronto or the squirted up the side boards. Cory Gee Gees of Ottawa, and a spot in Keenan raced after it and blasted the national finals in Toronto a 30-footer that beat Pracey Maple Leaf Gardens. cleanly to make it 2-0. The Warriors totally domi- Just 2:27 later the Warriors nated the Hawks from the outset struck again. This time Greg Al- of Monday's contest. In fact, for len was the recipient of some fine all intents and purposes the out- forechecking and hitting the come was decided before many in resulted in a turnover. He the sold-out arena had a chance to snapped a quick shot that beat get comfortable in their seats as Pracey. the Warriors held a 4-0 lead after Waterloo made it 4-0 two Mike Dahle played well for the Hawks all season pic : Jim Elkin. just five minutes of play. minutes later on a nicely executed There had been some ques- two-on-one with Jamie Hartnett the Hawks as they slowly started 4-0 in favour of the Warriors. Hartnett was left all alone in front tions raised about Hawks' goal- finishing it off. That was all for to turn things around in the later The second frame began just of the net. tender Rich Pracey being able to Pracey in this contest as back-up half of the first period. A com- as the first one did. The Warriors Waterloo made it 6-0 at the play on Monday after being JeffLaceby was called to service. bination of Waterloo goaltender struck early again with Hartnett 4:37 mark after some more heavy knocked unconscious late in Sun- He made a couple of fine James Organ, some ill-advised scoring his second of the night forechecking of the Hawks' day's game and he looked a trifle stops soon after entering the shot selections and some bad luck just 1:22 into the frame. Laceby defence corps. The puck came in shaky on the four goals pumped game, and this seemed to spark resulted in the period ending up had no chance on the play as continued on page 13 McMaster mauls Hawks Ralph Spoltore cord sports OUAA. However, not one of Fred's bloated stomach, "Out these players took on the role of with the bad air, in with the I would personally like to leader, so we finished with an good." thank the McMaster Marauder embarrassing 1-14 record. Next year the team will be Men's basketball team for ending It looks like the team will un- looking to younger guys like one of the most painful seasons in dergo a total facelift for the up- Brian Fretz, Colin Strickland, the history of W.L.U. athletics. coming season. Many veteran Bart and Jay Spencer to After being absolutely lambasted players will probably not return David mold a winner. If these guys by a stronger and more talented next year and an immense recruit- help hard with MAC squad, the Hoop-Hawks ing season will be necessary to stick together and work class of '93, a breathed a giant sigh of relief that restore the hunger that is needed the rookie may be just the total travesty of a season was to games. Like Barney Rub- championship season win Laurier over. Seven months of being ble so eloquently stated when he over the horizon for the trounced by their opponents had was pumping the water out of Hoop-Hawks. finally come to an end. Hal- lelujah. The game itself was only close for the first ten minutes. The Hawks' new YMCA ap- proach to basketball surprised the Marauders early on, but the out- come of the game was really never in doubt. MAC took an eighteen point lead into the dress- ing room at the half, and only widened that lead in the second half. The final buzzer rang when the score was 94-48, and merci- fully the season was over for the Hawks. Jimmy Newton and Sean Brennan led the team with some inspired play up and down the court. The only way to describe the season is that it was totally dis- appointing. With the amount of third, fourth, and fifth year players on this squad, we should The Hawks couldn't even pass well on Saturday pic : Eda DiLiso have been a major force in the The Hawks get rejected pic : Eda DiLiso Sports THE CORD 10 Thursday, March 4. 199.1 Ducks on frozen pond Mike Dahle still played an inspir- CIAU Player of the Year called the Mighty Ducks. And get games before Lemieux's return. ing final two games despite what nominee Mark McCreary. Good this, the Anaheim arena will be Lemieux rejoining the team is the scoreboard said. Paul Bennett luck at the March 18 awards affectionately known as "The just what the doctor ordered. refused to back down and ceremony in Toronto. Along with Pond". With a couple of names If you were following our MEN on SPORTS self-respecting last you now wouldn't let the get too and McCreary, Mark like that, what picks week, know by Jim Lowe, Brian Warriors Spoltore Pracey NHL player would be proud to why we don't call ourselves Gear and Adam Holt comfortable. Special mention Strohack and Rich should go to the Laurier fans in received OUAA West all-star fly south and join the Ducks? "Men On Sports Gambling". What more needs to be said? the third game as they stood and honours. Did everyone see reinstated Regardless, here are this week's After an impressive late season cheered wildly even though the To the rest of the Hawkey Yankee boss George Steinbrenner picks. run at first place in the division Hawks never really got close. Hawks, thanks a lot and we're with his arm around new acquisi- MEN ON SPORTS SUPER PICS: and a first game victory, the Finally, penalty box pest Ralph looking forward to next year. tion Wade Boggs on Monday? By AH) 05/03/93 Det (H) over two new Hawkey Hawks suffered two dis- Spoltore's antics just never Zip-a-dee-doo-dah! Zip-a- the end of June, these Tor...The Toronto leaf begins to appointing losses in their playoff ceased. dee-day! My oh my what a best chums should be batding it fall series against the Waterloo War- Men On Sports congratulate pathetic day. Last Monday, Dis- out. 06/03/93 Mnt (V) over riors. John Spoltore on his CIAU scor- ney CEO Michael Eisner an- It's really too bad that the Min...Habs just too strong Brian The Hawks were outclassed, ing title and his Rookie of the nounced that the Anaheim NHL CBC tried to make the Phi (V) over N-J...Still typical piece 07/03/93 outhustled and simply outscored. Year nomination. Kudos also to expansion team will, in fact, be Spencer story into a chasing a playoff spot of Canadian art trash. The acting 04/03/93 Uth (V) over N-Y...The was crap. The story was crap. Mailman will deliver And worse of all, the hockey 00/03/93 LAL (H) over were crap. Basically, the scenes Phi...Lakers will "Peel" away whole stinking Gross Misconduct from 6ers at a movie" by director "attempt BG) 04/03/93 Edm (H) over (not Adam) Egoyan was Atom Win...Oilers drive to stay alive just that, gross. 05/03/93 Pit (V) over NYR...Can week, several Over the last anyone stop Mario? NHL players reached career mile- Min (H) over and Glenn 07/03/93 stones. Steve Yzerman Det...Twinkle, twinkle little stars! Anderson were both welcomed to 05/03/93 Orl (V) over Mil...A the 1000 Point Club. Larry Mur- litde magic in Beer Town 1000th career phy played in his 06/03/93 N-J (H) over Den... game. Also, Pavel Bure, Teemu Chicken nuggets play better Selanne, and A 1 Mogilny potted their 50th goals of the season. JL) 04/03/93 STL (H) over Speaking of milestones, one Cal...Hungriest team wins man who has had several over his 05/03/93 N-J (H) over NHL career, Mario Lemieux has Chi...Pesky Devils in an upset returned. If he suffers no serious 09/03/93 T-B (H) over Win..Jets side effects from his radiation always lose the easy ones treatment, Mario the Magnificent 06/03/93 Pho (V) over Dal...Easy has a lock on both the Hart and win for Sir Charles trophies. Penguins 08/03/93 N-Y (H) ties OrL.Too Warriors roughed up the Hawks pic : Jim Elkins Art Ross The were 2-5-1 in their last eight close to call FEED YOUR FACES I || FOR LESS. B| I I Bii& Mill ■ ctiymfm p, esenls ■ O I Gy) [§ & (§) I £Pgz !$1 "! 'NFERNQ2,#|fc 1'" | Certain Restrictions W ,V I CjA Z IB tllffHfiQ4UOW|tH© hOOt H CO gg> 2 Litems ■j ff HI + tax, I H ij "\ Limited Time Offer mmQggfbar i] V. A C H vAsS-' I Expires March 15/93 I § vl^T| fTI ®" 5.99 WPPS ll® I er the s Day Contest Pnrf... -4# Any purchase entitles you to an entry form. ... Drop in and try the Luck of the Irish. * Mushroom / jSglilO wf >„ 1 w THE CORD 12 Soorts Thursday. March 4 1 qq-9 Big scraps in the A/C Tom Dabek Cord Sports Richard Baxter defeated Ted skill level in this fight was ring, and then landing accurate body. The decision was unani- "Manute" Ford who despite being noticeably different from the punches in the corner to take the mous as Gallinger scored a big Well fight fans, boxing came 6'5" weighed in at 1451b5. Bax- other bouts, both fighters were , round. In round three, Gallinger victory. to Laurier on Thursday with the ter got inside with ease and bat- polished with a wealth of experi- showed ring generalship and was The first Laurier Invitational first Laurier Invitational brought tered his taller foe, forcing a ence. After Binkowski took the completely in control. Gallinger was a big success, with many to you by the Waterloo Region standing eight count before early part of round two, Gallinger never let himself get in danger fans in the stands and interest was Boxing Club. The card included Ford's corner threw in the towel. came back with a strong left-right while staying busy and expressed in staging another card eight entertaining fights and some In the penultimate bout, Gram to the head in the middle of the sharpshooting to the head and next year. high calibre boxing. Birmingham fighting with the In the first bout of the eve- most vocal support of the evening ning, James "I hit like a truck" stopped Waterloo's Jimmy Hause (yes that's what he called Andrews. Birmingham's cheering himself) scored an impressive section, consisting of the Ajax victory over a taller, seemingly chapter of Hell's Angels, was less experienced and outclassed delighted by the patience shown opponent. The second bout was in by Birmingham in the first round, my opinion the best of the night. throwing few but accurate pun- Gord Rinella, in only his third ches. Birmingham scored heavily bout, was able to outpoint the ag- early in round two, but a gressive Patrick Burton by scor- courageous effort by Andrews ing in combinations and counter- evened things up midway through ing effectively. Rinella was able the round until a solid combina- to avoid Burton's flurries and tion by Birmingham shook up pick his shots while exhibiting Andrews who later took a stand- excellent defensive skills despite ing eight count before the referee his inexperience. stopped the fight at 1:47 of round The next four fights offered a two. little of everything. A couple of The main event was a truly kids about 11 years old squared great matchup between two off in a 1021b weight class with respected champions. Waterloo's Waterloo's Jason Douglas win- Artur Binkowski, the 1993 Cana- ning easily, the bloodied but un- dian Intermediate Heavyweight bowed Christopher Cook won a Champion took on the 1992 decision despite being opened up Champion and Silver medalist at in round two. the World Junior Boxing A close fight went to Championships, Steven Gal- hometown Terry Dalma who linger. The first round was fought showed poise against an aggres- mainly on the outside with both most moments sive opponent, and in the in- fighters having their The Laurier invitational proved to be entertaining pic : Jayson 'Rambo' Geroux teresting matchup of the night, with some good exchanges. The 1 WUO- STUDEHT5 ONION 1 Ii —i «HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAx Up ) m) jMiiii#fej itlY I 1 6EECHY GUY | mmmm VI w llflr ■■■ I \TI Opening: x in Wilf's on March sth 1 EYAN CARTER I £ arid , at I:3opm 8:00pm , g cost: $1.00 £ March 6 x q E at 8:00 pm presentation xhMahahahahahahahahahahal ra«wsalm«mMM■■MiMmHMM THE CORD Thursday. March 4, 1993 Soorts 13 Future expectations high Pat Brethour Cord Sports "They were very strong, but they Hambly had similar high Hambly. have made the difference." more or less just collapsed." hopes for the men's team, despite curling team The men's had a But, Hambly says, things will After uneven results in this year's Western came out on top. a lacklustre performance at the 2-3 losing to record, Western, be different next year. performance, both the women Laurier beat the London team -- championships. Queen's and Macmaster, and and men's curling teams are but lost to Waterloo and Windsor. The Laurier men's team - the winning against Windsor and "In their third year together, strong contenders for the coming Both of Laurier's lost games, defending champions - placed Guelph. they'll have to be considered one season says coach Jeff Hambly. however, went down to the last fourth in a field of six at this "In the playoffs, they of the early favourites for next "I think next year, with both end. year's tournament. struggled and they just weren't year," he said. teams, they should be very strong "Those games could have "They won it all last year, so there at any particular time, and "Expectations would be very again," said Hambly. "Some of gone either way," said Hambly. it's a little disappointing," said didn't have the extra that would high, for both teams." the other universities will be "Our skip made an error in judg- rebuilding next year." ment that led to the loss [against Laurier's women's curling Windsor] but you can't fault her Warriors hammer hawkey Hawks team, making impressive gains calling page for what she called." continued trom 9 pass the puck into the net or at the gap to 6-1 at the 11:42 mark last year, secured second over The women's second place front but Laceby was unable to least get the prettiest goal pos- as John Spoltore set up Kevin place the February 20 to in 21 showing is a dramatic turnaround corral it before Dean MacDonald sible. The result was an inter- Greco right off the face-off. championship tournament their 3- from last year's showing, when flipped it over him. cepted pass that led to a Spoltore pushed the puck towards 2 record. they make failed to the The Hawks had a glorious op- breakaway for Greg Allen of the the goaltender right off the draw. Waterloo, touted as the team championship round. portunity to claw their way back Warriors. Laceby stopped him Organ slid out but missed the to beat in the championships, "They turned the team around into the game as they enjoyed a but the hawks were forced to take puck and Spoltore slid it to Greco proved to be a paper tiger. 180 degrees, and we look forward lengthy two-man advantage mid- a penalty which nullified the man who slammed it home. "Waterloo became a non- to an even better season next way through the frame. However, advantage. The second period ended with factor in the event," said Hambly. year," he said. they seemed intent on trying to They did manage to narrow the Hawks trailing 6-1 despite several good scoring chances for each team. The Warriors again struck early to remove any thoughts of a comeback for the Golden Hawks. Dean MacDonald fired his second of the game as he got loose on the right wing and lasered a 20-footer past Laceby just 1:38 into the Be Laurier's final stanza. They made it 8-1 just 1:08 later as Geoff Schneider fired a shot that deflected off a defender in front of Laceby. The Hawks then mounted a mini-comeback as they fired three Ad King! straight goals to make it 8-4. That was as close as they got, how- ever, as the Warriors added two more in the final 25 seconds to secure the victory. Greco scored his second of the game to make it 8-2, finishing off a strong effort by Chris George. Mark McCreary made it 8-3 as he batted in a rebound from a Bob Shelp and just 23 sec- onds later Chris George found himself with a breakaway and he made no mistake to make it 8-4. The Warriors rounded out the scoring as Hartnett notched his third of the game with 25 seconds remaining and got his fourth of the game with 15 seconds left. r^B Series Summary \ aF The clubs split the first two games of the series with the Golden Hawks winning game one at the Waterloo Arena 4-2 and the Warriors taking game two at the Columbia Ice Fields 7-1. The Hawks, ranked 10th in the nation after finishing tied for second with Guelph in the West division, got two goals from Mark McCreary and singles from the newly crowned CIAU scoring - y champ John Spoltore Chris Ii H m^MLC; and George to take a one game lead in "^ -"" the series. "mr | —~ < jsißM^MP' '#T if <£. „if 112 The Warriors, ranked third in the nation, got goals from Geoff Rawson and Barry Young. I The action shifted to the Columbia Ice Fields where, The Cord is now accepting facing elimination, the Waniurs applications I stormed to a 7-1 romp over the for Golden Hawks and knot the advertising manager. I series at one game apiece. Jason Mervyn scored twice to pace the Warriors. Single goals went to Dean MacDonald, Jamie Hartnett, Chris Kraemer, Cory Keenan and John Williams. Tony Bella scored the long goal for the Hawks, who had a 10-game unbeaten streak snapped with the loss. Sports THE CORD 14 4. 19Q? Hawks play the spoiler Cord Sports Greg Sloan much better team than that indi- Spoltore and Lori Sullivan, but Laurier. Leach and her assistant game and cheered the team on. The women's volleyball team cates. The lack of experience hopefully the rest of the team will coach Sue Lankowski will be I would like to thank Leach and finished the season on a winning hurt, keeping us from winning be back." going to club tournaments and to the team for their co-operation. I note, defeating the Windsor Lan- more games. With the high number of local high schools to see the pros- know it was a tough season, and I cers three games to two. The Lan- "However, the freshmen on the players returning there will not be pects play. appreciate the support I received cer loss knocked them out of the team improved immensely with as much pressure on recruiting as Leach would like to thank from all involved. I congratulate playoffs, and salvaged some pride the invaluable experience they there was last year. Leach says Lankowski for her help this sea- the team on hanging in there, and for the Lady Hawks. were able to get. We will lose our many high school students have son, as well as all the loyal die- wish you all success in the up- The team jumped out to a fast two co-captains next year, Lori expressed an interest in playing at hard fans who came out to every coming season. start, winning the first two games. They dropped the third game 15- 10, and things seemed to once again fall apart as they lost the fourth game 15-5. However, Laurier stayed calm and prevailed prepares win, defeating guy with the match Hard Windsor in the fifth and deciding game. Co-captain Lori Spoltore played very well in her last game the at Laurier, notching 18 kills. Coach Cookie Leach said even HARD guy NCAA tournament draws near team lost decisively in after the by Chris Werynski the fourth game she was not that schedule of a modern 90's man, and/or temperatures hovering criminal, attitude against blacks worried. "It didn't seem that bad. Whenever I turn the ol' your volunteer help at the burn around -19 C. and other minorities - but she is unit, and your work with disabled one dumb bitch. Actual quote, The team stayed pretty calm and calendar over to March it means - Search your local dumpster raccoons, you find time look it "What's played well." Leach added that two things. First of all, we finally how do for used tissues. For extra fun, up, wrong with to watch so much of it?' having a framed Swastika' on this was a much needed victory, get rid of that bastard of a month make an elegant necklace and Well kids, the answer is your wall ?" She is a scary look- helping to erase some of the bad February. (Latin meaning "com- wear it to class. happened this sea- fortable as anal lice") simple. I make sure that I am sick ing thing too. If they ever need to things which - Set up a booth in the con- find play son. Secondly, it means that with the flu so I can't do ANY- someone to that new course - offer to pay 50 cents to Superhero, PUKEWOMAN, Two days before the match MARCH MADNESS is ap- THING else but watch the look not making anyone who will plant a nice wet no further. against Windsor the team had proaching! Yes, the annual tournament! I am this feel guilty sneeze in your face, (they must And you gotta feel for travelled to Hamilton to take on NCAA tournament is almost up. This way you don't sorry a have a cold to qualify) Maple Leaf Darryl Shannon. McMaster. Laurier lost a tough upon us, and once again, I don't about missing classes and being Not - Find several friends with first game 17-15. Leach said the plan to miss it. The first four days general potato slug for a few only did he get mugged in San lingering colds and play "Lick the week, match was over after that. alone bring us about 40 hours of weeks. Here are some handy Francisco last but Doug cold sore." Gilmour had to his McMaster went on to the easy coverage. A heart-felt apology tricks to screw your immune sys- buy wallet off three game sweep. goes out to all those people who tem over and make sure you are On a different note, is there a of some street slime the next day. Despite only recording two vic- will miss their regular fix of Pick- sick as a dog for the NCAA more crusty, senile, ugly, racisi Considering the part of San Fran- tories this season Leach is able to et Fences, but you know what tourney. witch than Cincinnati Reds owner cisco he was in, he was lucky look ahead with a sense of op- they say, tough shit. - Take 2 hour walks with wet Marge Schott? I know she isn't they just took his wallet, and timism. "I am disappointed with But you know, people often hair at night. For best results, the the only person in baseball who didn't decide to play a bruising the win-loss record. We are a ask me, 'Chris, with your busy weather should feature ice rain has displayed an immature, if not round of "Hide the sausage". Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Come out and join Student Publications ■H747-2900220 King St. N (at University) It's good for your heart and fabulous for your sex life. Become a knife- (across from tne WLU Atheletic Complex) bearing maniac, learn the mysterious secrets of Zen photography, ...or maybe you could teach us! Learn to write scathing reviews or assemble the best yearbook yet. IN STORE CARRY OUT SPECIALS We're more fun than a mad squid in your underpants. SUNDAY THROUGH TUESDAY -2 MEDIUM 1 TOPPING $6.93 - -I LARGE 1 TOPPING $4.93 -SLICE + 5 WINGS + DRINK $2.99 Positions Available include: -(ADDITIONAL SLICE $.99) Editor-in-Chief Keystone Editor Cord News Editor Keystone Associate Editor Cord Associate News Editor Keystone Special Events Editor Cord Sports Editor Keystone Residence Editor Cord Entertainment Editor Photo Manager Assist. Entertainment Editor Cord Photo Technician Cord Production Manager Graphics Arts Technician Cord Copy Editor LliTED TIE OFFER TAX NOT MCLUDED - STUDENT CARD REQUHED Systems Technician Cord Production Assistant Advertising Manager Art Director Advertising Representatives Treasurer PIZZA "I Advertising Production Manager !~~Buy a large pizza [LARGE & LOADED I for 990 extra get | | | WINGS Interested people should come up to the Cord offices and MEGABREAD, | |20 | pick up an application. Applications must be handed back by I March 11th. Interviews will begin within two weeks after. Applicants must be full, part-time or cross registered I SIX PACKpfJMINGSj I Y_V.?1?J students at Laurier. Applicants will be phoned to arrange an interview.give your phone number. !~ 2MEDTUM PIZZA'S- 884-2990, Call us for more info! 1 TOPPING 619 I + MEGA BREAD uIuaPQI EIC, Keystone EIC and Ad Manager Applicants may wish to prepare a plaform. L_ +10WINGS __T_„8kI I; WE'RE BUILDING OUR REPUTATION - John Medina blah, blah, blah a marvel Henry Rollins Entertainment page 16 page 18 : ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR : FEIZAL VALLI ASSISTANT EDITOR JENN O'CONNELL 1. The headline for this story should be a) Wow, great bands b) Rail T.E.C. rule c) Mulroney resigns P- UP Toronto's Still Life host a world-beat video and CD release party at the Commercial in Maryhil tomorrow Give me hHead! night. Johnny Winter and Wild T play Lulus on thefifth. Raggae band Fujahtive play Kitchener's Volcano Club on the fifth. NUMUS Concerts presents piano virtuoso Anthony De Mare plays the Aird Recital Hall on the fifth. Ska grandaddy's Bad Manners play the Spectrum on the sixth. The Princess Cinema presents Architecture ofDoom by Peter Cohen, an engrossing documentary about the Third Reich and Nazi ideology (7pm March 10). Jerry Jerry and the Lost Dakotas play a double bill at the Volcano Club on the twelfth. The Gunner show has been moved to the twelfth of March. School ofFish play Lee s on the thirteenth. Talk about disgusting, The Jim Rose Circus Sidshow hHead could very well be the best band in Canada; you can see why pic : Terry Kellett is at The Spectrum on April third. Feizal Valli March eighteenth has Furnaceface at Lee's Palace. Entertainment 2. Last Thursday, Rail T.E.C and a) the offspring of Satan that I a) that darn lobotomy I had a tew A whole lotta milka: Kids in the Hall are at Convoca- hHead know they are years ago tion Hall on March 20. a) bit b) lab rats b) that silly barium enema I had a c) He's useless, he's a has-been, he's Lindsey Bucking- b) blew sailors on shore leave few years ago d) ham and he's playing the Phoenix on March 23. c)sucked both band c c) that crazy penile implant 1 got d) made me believe that there ac- 7. hHead's major influences a few years ago Amnesty International is having a folk and blues night tually are Canadian bands worth seem to be d) all of the above on the twenty-sixth probably at the Huether. listening to a) Dr. Seuss 11. After a while, it was hard to 3. Opening band Rail T.E.C. was b) long, drawn-out rectal exams tell one hHead song from anoth- Conspiracy kinda guy, Oliver Stone, gives a lecture on a combination of c) Husker Du er, but that's OK because how his bowels are in league with his bladder in a plot a) Motorhead and Kathy Lee d) all of the above a) when something's good you to assassinate his spleen on March 27 at Massey Hall. Gifford 8. The way the drummer was can't complain about getting b) April Wine and Heart abusing his drum kit you would more of the same King Missile, Sunday March 28, RPM. c) Jesus Jones and syphilis think that b) drinks were cheap Purple kinda guy, Prince, plays the Gardens on the d) Spinal Tap and Gwar a) he had suffered a childhood c) who's listening to the band thirtieth ofMarch. 4. That Rail T.E.C. bassist might mishap with a snare drum when there's a mosn pit to enjoy? very well be b) he's a Tory d) both a and c Pond, May 6at Lee's Palace. c) he'd rather be the lead a) the very essence of the King singer 12. Between Rail T.E.C and they always get pick himself because first hHead, it's plain to see that of the panties strewn about the b) the best dancer in Bowman- a) musicians are truly the outcasts ville, Ontario stage of society c) Rick James in disguise d) none of the above b) Canadian music doesn't get to — d) funk personified 9. hHead are the best thing better than this come out of Canada since r-Recommended c) at least someone doesn't cite 5. The way they play, it's a a) Lester B. Pearson Eric Clapton as an influence b) Beachcombers/Bruno wonder that Rail T.E.C. aren't the d) all of the above a) signed Gerussi c) of Separatism b) the house band at Bowman- the idea d) —something good came out of ville's lovely Castle Hotel Answers: c) pregnant Canada? 10. Its hard to believe, but that l.d) 2. d) 3. c) 4. b) a r i c r d) doing time u me a 5. a) 6. d) 7. d) 8. c) hHead show reminded lot ' Homegrown 6. Toronto's hHead play like of 9. d) 10. d) 11. d i 2. d) kinda guys, The Result, play what is sure to be an entertaining set for anyone who a likes their music warning: local and their Just musicians surly. Ryan Feeley Entertainment I'm now twenty. This means I've been alive for twenty years. Any advice I've given before pales in comparison in its useful- BL ness to the advice I'm about to r- OVERHEARD —i give you. At all costs, avoid the movie "We had no pompous pretensions 'You should of Army of Darkness. Please avoid me because I'm in a rock n roll band.' It was fuck it. Don't rent it. Don't even watch more like, 'You're here, I'm here, you good to feel the commercials. You can save me, I good to both horny, so let's feel you, we're yourself money, time, and your make each other happy right now." humility by reading this review. I had the schlopportunity of seeing the latest film by Evil Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on Dead, Evil Dead II and Dark- his sex life during early road trips. man director Sam Raimi over (cont'd to pg. 17) Writer Feeley (far right, above) unhappy about Army of Darkness THE CORD 16 Entertainment Thursday, March 4. 199.? Kumbaya my Lord! Ouija Amnesty puts on a worthwhile hootenanny dear Entertainment Pat Brethour Dear Ouija, Bongos, berets and a beat- spoke about the frustration -- and pleasantly surprised each time he I am a firmly devoted boyfriend, but my roommates are con- nikish beat were the order of the sometimes, rage — that these roles was applauded. stantly cheating on their girlfriends. They are constantly going to day for Amnesty International's breed. The final act of the night, The Don Cherries to pick up tramps. How should I cope with my prob- Folk, Rock and Blues Night. Deneau's dynamic vocals and Fat Cats, were more of a blues lem? Over 250 people turned up at sharply honed acoustic guitar combo than folk. Tight harmony Your friend, the Saturday night love-in, and were backed by a flute and cello. between the male and female lead Spud wedged themselves into the in- The combination made for an ex- vocals defined the sound of this timate milieu of the Huether quisitely powerful sound. band. Dear Spud, Hotel's third floor. But Deneau was equally as Bongos and tambourines also I think in these times of sexual caution your roommates need a After wading my way through impressive on his own, singing made appearances. rude awakening. Why not send them a letter from Health Services a sea of elbows, I caught sight "just like when he was starting The audience, no longer con- telling them that their test results are positive. (and sound) of Mary-Anne Epp, out". tent to merely sway, got up and Something less mean would be to pretend you are interested in backed by two guitarists and — The audience moaned softly. danced to the music. their girlfriends and get your roommates really jealous. They'll — bongo- you guessed it a set of bongos. Some sat down on the floor and All bongo-beating and never want to go to Don Cherries without their girlfriends again. Along with covers of Joni started to sway to the music. Peri- bashing aside, Amnesty's event The GonorrheaFree Ouija, Mitchell and Peter Gabriel, Epp odically, they would interrupt was wonderfully relaxed, like played some fairly intricate Deneau's performance with ap- slipping on your oldest and most Dear Ouija, of jeans. acoustic guitar pieces. plause and ear-piercing whistles. comfortable pair There is this really stupid girl who keeps hitting on my Ringed around the performers And Deneau always seemed Or a beat-up beret. boyfriend. She is one of those girls who flirts with every guy and on three sides and two levels, the never talks to other girls. Fortunately, my boyfriend thinks she is audience swayed to the rhythm. dippy and ugly (even her hair which she flings back whenever she Next up on the bill was Scott talks) so I have nothing to worry about. I'm just really sick of her Deneau, surely the stand-out per- see-through motives and I'm coming close to kicking her in the former of the night. knee. Oh omniscient Ouija, please tell me how to fight my ir- His first number, "I Can Feel resistible urge to put this ho in her place. It" was too-aptly named, as many Signed, a feedback-induced shiver of The Sexy MaMa mine can attest. After overcoming these tech- Dear Sexy MaMa, nical troubles, Deneau dove into Well you could try throwing acid on herface (like they did to the rest of his repertoire. Karrie on Days of Our Lives), but that would probably make you "Fists of Rage" was the most end up in a mental hospital or jail or both. memorable of these. Deneau, But seriously, the next time she comes to flirt with your during one of his many bantering boyfriend while you are around you should show off your fake episodes, recounted how he had Woolworth's engagement ring and talk about china patterns. been sitting in a restaurant watch- If that doesn't work then try having marathon sex with your ing a man pound a table with his boyfriendfor four days so he won't be able to walk around school fists, while his wife and child and bump into her. cowered. Hugs and Kisses, of Rage" examined the "Fists Steve and Elyse Keaton would have loved this pic : Sheldon Page Ouija roles men are forced to play, and INSANE FUN. ■ EVERY WEEK AT CLUB ABSTRACT, 667 KING STREET WEST, KITCHENER, 571 -9032 the cord - Thursday. March 1993 - Entertainment _ 17 Pilgrim's Progress a group success Stephan Latour Entertainment mensely with its first large choral frivolous pilgrims, Mr. and Mrs. calling. Before entering the ney. The opera generated a last- Laurier's Faculty of Music arrangement, to create a strong By-Ends. Brian Duyn and Heavenly City, the pilgrim strug- ing impression with its strong showed its kaleidoscope of true pastoral mood. McHardy gave us a little touch of gles to cross the river of death, musical and visual qualities. colours in its opera production of The first test came the pil- Broadway and humour to an but alas, a safe passage comes his Moreover, it demonstrated once THE PILGRIM'S PROGRESS grim's way when confronting the otherwise serious-minded per- way, amidst the final mixed again the qualities instilled by the by the renown 20th century evil titan Apollyon. Director formance. chorus, this time clad in angelic Faculty of Music in its pupils. English composer Ralph Thomas Schweitzer made his Finally, he arrives at the white robes. Medina, Vaughan Williams. most memorable mark in this Delectable Mountains, where One may look to The near capacity crowd was scene when creating an electric three shepherds give him a The story returns us again to Rutherford, Criscione, and treated to stunning visual images atmosphere of danger and evil. temporary respite from his jour- Bunyan in his prison, with Smed- McHardy for individual through a crafty combination be- Despite sustaining injury in the ney. The Celestial Messenger, ley completing the performance highlights, but the excellence in tween technology and the human slaughter of the monster, the pil- captivated beautifully by Julie with a choral piece, to send the the performance as a whole is no element. The music was no doubt grim survives the ordeal. Pe'pin, tells him of the Master's audience on their respective jour- doubt attributable to all involved. at the core of the presentation. The next daunting task was as Leslie O'Dell directed the difficult as the first, yet it was pupils in his orchestra masterful- equally impressive in its stage ly, yet the stage often belonged to presentations. the incredible choral ensembles, In a dazzling and colourful and to John Medina in the leading display, complete with sexual in- role as Pilgrim. nuendoes, our pilgrim faced un- The story focuses on the trials precedented temptations at and tribulation of a pilgrim, Vanity Fair. Mark Rowson was a which appeared in a dream-like very convincing Lord Lechery, appearance to the imprisoned and so was Ally son McHardy as John Bunyan. The seasoned John Madam Bubble and Lesley Smedley set the quality of the Andrew as Madam Wanton. Our evening in this opening prologue. pilgrim resisted, yet the judge at Amidst dynamic light effects, he Vanity Fair, Lord Hategood, gave way to the lead, John played in its evilness by Smedley, Medina, as the burdened pilgrim. condemned him to death. He also The evangelist, portrayed by most fell into despair, yet when Joel Rutherford, combined with remembering the Key of Promise, Medina for an eloquent dialogue, he is set free to continue his prog- which was undoubtedly the har- ress. vest after several years of vocal On his journey he meets training. Maria Criscione, in the role of a Our pilgrim is sent on his woodcutter's boy. She fitted the way, to receive the shining part perfectly, as her voice armour of light in order to meet radiated the innocence and clarity the temptations in his journey. of a youthful boy. On his way to The procedure impressed im- the Celestial City, he meets two ! I "this is Ermrr 1T^ „v How did they die? J 1. Jimi Hendnx? \J beautiful 3. Karen Carpenter CIO _ Liberace I < II Jfr X--m-| s-4 I ■ 5. Eric Clapton's son? XX lUi Lvl 6. Sid Vicious? JbIpIIIIP Newly Renovated 8.scotton90210? S ifJLJJzt glCOjnt I -jimmorrison B I Di" C 'H a 3tmOS *ihCre HI 9. Steve McQueen? 10. Elvis Presley? "' there's only four more — I issues so come and . up pEapiou S3H 0l write for cord ;j33UH3 6 entertainment before n °t3UI 3Ip 01 ,oqsnn3 p31311111 8 (mE,SIJO,3SnA MOa3mBUsra)1,,Y \_/xion ' jvou overdoseuvci 9sopja\o aioaajj 9 « ?iq barbituates in a sleazy ( psqsnd SB 3q jpaqi 0 -suipnnq n=y s Paris hotel room j sarv 'p For Pick-Up ||!| Biioaouv '£ DINNER ™ g56I M s - ■ & ; S Friday Saturday 11:30 a.m. midnight fa I FREE BEVERAGE , - .. ■■ ■ |i ■ ■ ■ III 1 Eu, n, n in in M i i ■ I 1 • • f S (MP COFFEE Til) , I CN I 1 v EXPIRES MARCH 11, 1993 - NOT VAUD WITH OTHER OFFERS J I THE CORD 18 Entertainment Thursday, March 4. Darkness falls by for thefeizalrecordvalli (cont'd from pg. 15) For the record, I can understand why, when you turn on the t.v., over or deleted. reading week. I would just like to make it clear that certain words are dubbed I had no idea what the film was about and I just I understand that youngsters might grow up to be child molesters they went along with a bunch of my friends because of or heart patients might drop dead if heard the words "fuck" or their enormous influence on my behaviour. "shit". television or The movie starts quite impressively. The visual I understand that on an open medium like radio there effects are quite stunning. I was quite sure that is the danger that some unsuspecting ear might wander onto a bad there had been large sums of money misspent on word when all they really wanted to do was hear the new Mariah this fdm. Carey song or the traffic report. Within the first five minutes we are given the I know that to some people, profanity is the devil's work. idea that this film is supposed to be a comedy, and I realize that many people think that the use of profanity is the possibly an attempt at a black comedy. sign of someone who has nothing to say, a person whose vocabulary Although comedy might not be the right word, is limited to gutter dialogue. it might apply using the mathematical formula of What I don't understand is how this same Nazi-Fascist/Pat bullshit finds its = Robertson-Moral Majority/Big Brother way into the Holy Grail + Rambo Army of Darkness. things I purchase I as a consenting want to profane. The lead character Ash, played by Bruce Camp- that adult be me explain: last week I laid down my ten bucks to purchase bell, a modern redneck too closely resembling Let the wonderful new Butch Vig remix of House of Pain's delightful Living Color's Jim Carrey for my liking, is an new single, "Shamrocks and Shananigans". On said disc is a line that American trapped in the past, somewhere in goes something medieval England. like this: "House of Pain's the name of my won't be down punk, Good thing he has a twelve gauge shotgun (with click/You get off make me strawberry quick" an infinite supply of bullets) and an old beat up car my dick/You sick/Like Well, to Instead, with lots of goodies in the trunk. at least that's what it's supposed say. the word "dick" is blocked out by a guitar I have to say find it hard to un- Ash-hole proceeds to go on some quest for riff. I derstand the thinking behind this kind censorship; I bought the I some book that will send him back home (where song, know about the profanity, I want the profanity so why is it gone? he'll really fit in) and do something good for the village... I think it cured them of something, proba- If I wanted to I could go a few blocks down the street and pur- chase a magazine depicting farm animals penetrating debutantes or bly the actor's rut syndrome. video with titles like "May Flowers Bring Golden Showers"-- But Ash buggers up, and triggers off some mean tapes spirit that commands all these dead people to come none of them with cut scenes or black bars across genitalia. Why not? alive, which by the way had no effect on the Because I'm an adult and by me expressing an interest in buying this Having one of those days product am acknowledging the fact that don't mind the audience. The rest of the movie pits Ash and the I I type of villagers in fierce battle with zombie-skeletons (or As luck would have it, Ash's princess girlfriend profanity, pornography or animal husbandry it involves. me If I am not by guys in black suits with white stripes on them). (who in an earlier and quite politically correct scene Which still makes wonder: offended the word a song like, why I go out purchase un- Because of his advanced knowledge of is shot by Ash in order to rid her of her zombie "dick" in that I can't and it altered and it's intended original form? chemistry and his high-school textbook, Ash and state) comes back to life and they go somewhere. in record, I to I just the community's wisest wizards, are able to con- To be honest, I can't seem to remember the end, For the don't have the answer that one. know that freedom of speech as hell doesn't apply to "dick" coct gun powder and lots of other goodies we as a which means I can't wait to rent it on video next sure the word modern society use to kill people. week. and I've got the CD to prove it. Henry Rollins masturbates, we get to listen Feizal Valli Entertainment seriously. The seemingly random of tape space that has as its editing that pervades the whole Henry Rollins is angry, order of the pieces meander from payoff Henry giggling over his length of the collection. Most there's no doubt about that; last topics as dissimilar as fucking, jet use of the word "viscosity" in the likely, though, it's probably the year's End of Silence album by lag and Edie Brickell without sur- same sentence as the word "cum". limitations that the spoken word his Rollins Band is proof rendering a single ounce of in- And as if making himself look ju- format offers; with readings the enough. On it, Rollins is sight or purpose. Even his edgier venile wasn't enough, Henry goes focus is entirely on the words and alternately profound, venomous, attempts at discourse are relative- one step further and makes him- as such emphasizes its amusing and angry, angry, angry. ly without any balls like the self look just plain stupid on an- weaknesses or strengths. For Rol- Unfortunately, none of that sound thrashing he gives U2 in a other entry where he babbles on lins only the former is true. can be said about Rollins' newest Dublin nightclub -- sure it's a about killing lab rats. Where his music tends to be outing, The Boxed Life, a spoken gamble, but the result ends up The Boxed Life is a dis- idealistic and aggressive his word rant that spans two tapes being more awkward than in- appointment on so many levels, spoken word offerings are limp and four years of "lecture" tours cendiary. it's hard to say where its greatest and vacuous; his dialogues seem all over the world. Other pieces go even further failures lie. It could be its choice like nothing more than prolonged Aside from the odd chuckle, at betraying Rollins' weakness of topics or lack of direction or spasms of masturbation with the I love me, wanna hear about it? it's hsrd to take The Boxed Life here. "Condos" is a useless waste maybe even the poor sound and listener as his hapless audience. ( tfulie4 | «practical \ v~^X FLOWERS gifts oqa oc-ic H Wr u V, GREETING CARDS OOH"JO lOU P B Over 300 Stuffed Animals fg Corsages & Boutonniers jflBT M Graduation Gifts • Balloons If - Flower Bouquets for your HostsaD EXPRESS YOURSELF with our Recycled Cards fOSifltVa Deliver ||fl HP — flilllllilllllillflllliliiiililllliifflll « I hat's how the Toronto Star referred to a new breed of college program offered by -—— Humber College, and designed specifically for University and College graduates. __ __ _ These programs are short, (we recognize your previous level of education) so you can I■ ■ ■ - i" Jjk ■ r get right down to some practical training that includes contact with Business and *I l\ *" A«- V'%rtVP ■- Industry professionals. 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March 4, 1993 Entertainment 19 Lobos look at real America Rick Cole Entertainment Charlton Heston were upset about the course of action that should domestic violence, Reva falls for that it would be difficult to have a the fact that they would release an be taken on this matter, another a big, strong, charming fellow positive outlook on the world Last year there was a big con- album with a song about killing album was being almost totally who turns out to be a brute that when you live in a Hispanic sec- troversy at Time-Warner over a law enforcement officers. Mr. overlooked. The album they preys on her weakness. tion of Los Angeles. For Los mediocre record by a band called Heston may not be aware of the missed was Kiko by Los Lobos. The most moving song is Lobos the only hope is to get lost Body Count. Apparently, some fact that while he and a few other True, there are no songs about "Two Janes", an acoustic song in music and, for a few minutes, powerful stockholders like right wing critics were debating killing cops on Kiko, but the that tells the story of two young escape the cruelty of the city. The songs that are here manage to girls who find the world cold and mesmerizing feel of Kiko makes capture the angst and alienation unloving. The only escape they it an excellent place to escape. Rockhead passable fare felt in American inner cities. If can find is in ending their own It's too bad the people at the critics of Time-Warner had lives. This tragic story is too real Time-Warner are more interested Bryan Kruuk Entertainment just ignored Body Count they for many people, and is a bigger in not offending the police than would have sold a few copies and problem in America than people promoting solid and talented art- Many people are familiar with Bob Rock the producer. The man been relegated to the delete bin. singing about shooting cops. ists because Kiko by Los Lobos constantly has bands knocking at his door looking for him to produce As it stands that's probably what The whole feel of Kiko is is a great album and it should their albums. The lengthy list of bands he has worked for at Little will happen to Kiko, which is un- somewhat apocalyptic, I suppose have been a huge success. Mountain Studios include such top acts as Motley Crue, David Lee fortunate because Los Lobos is Roth, Bon Jovi and Metallica. one of the best, and most original However, now Rock has traded in the production studio for a gui- bands that America has today. tar. The last notable group he played in was the moderately successful The first song on Kiko is Rock and Hyde (a.k.a. The Payolas). And now along comes Rock- "Dream in Blue" which has a head. Could a band like this go wrong with a man of Bob Rock's hypnotic mass of swirling guitars credibility at the helm? backed by a blues rhythm track. As could be foreseen, Rockhead's self titled album is one which One thing that must be said about contains a host of hard rock and roll songs. However, none of the Los Lobos is that they are an ac- tunes on the effort really reach out and grab y6u. complished group of musicians The album includes the typical ballads one would expect to hear and a very tight band. Sufficient and while they are well done, they are certainly nothing special. evidence for that is "Dream in "Death Do Us Part" fills this description perfectly while "Baby Wild" Blue", "Wake up Delores", and is marginally better. "Wicked Rain". The musical spell To be fair though, there are some particularly good songs on the that Los Lobos cast is very easy Rockhead album. "Heartland", which perhaps is the next single, is a to fall prey to. This spell is fur- refreshing change from an average album and "Warchild" invites a thered by images of spirits, hint of Led Zeppelin to the album and is a superb piece. angels, and saints. Is the album worth your time? Rock produced the album which is "That Train Don't Stop Here" of course a plus. However, he also wrote most of the album. Some of is a pure blues number that would the songs written with Rock and Hyde were satisfactory and so are make 8.8. King and John Lee some of the tunes on Rockhead. The album is quite ordinary. The Hooker proud. Two guitars, bass hard songs are not hard or original enough. The slow ballads are very and drums, and lyrics about a bland. With Bob Rock heading the project, the album cannot go ex- poor guy whose girl has left him. tremely wrong, but if you are looking for something which will stick Not all the songs are as conven- in your mind, then you can probably find something better than Rock- tional as that. "Reva's House" head without too much trouble. I deals the serious problem of I / \ WLU STUDENTS! POSITIONS „ AVAILABLE tothekuner Community From the ON CAMPUS First TearExperience Committee. Tour Coordinators (Summer 93, Fall/Winter 93-94) In the fall, Dr. Donald the torm of a written * w I Baker, Vice President report. -APPLICATIONS: MARCHAnnT To8-12 Academic struck a committee of students, \A/e welcome your staff, faculty, and VVthoughis and opinions. Student Ambassadors Shoulcl you wish,.^° pSnXTnnniitvexamine the quality IS /o nn 11 Air m nA\ of comment on any of the (Summer 93, Fall/Winter 93-94) students' first year above topics, or on any experience at Laurier. other subject related to the first year other Summer Positions- 1993 • , All + • . . discussing -■—* i -pv fnm such areas experience, please get Fall Registration - 1993 as orientation, in touch with the academic counselling, committee. Please , < cultural programs, accept our to - ArrL,ll>.AlA PPT Tr AnrTOTsJIUJNb.s- MARMAKLnPH o-IV81Q invitation socja| activitieS/ phone/ send an and residence life. In electronic message, or May, the committee simply talk to any one a i- • mi ii will offer its observations of us. Applications will be accepted to the Vice President in in the Human Resources Department (232 King Street North) V J —THE 20 Entertainment __Thursday, MarchCORD4. lgoa Skydiggers honest tractor rockin' music Dave Scott Entertainment A straight forward unpretentious good time was had by all present at a packed Commercial Tavern for the Skydiggers show. The 'dig- gers gave a tractor rockin' kind of rockabilly meets Stompin' Tom Connor performance. The tunes had a strong back beat laced with layers of guitar and vocal harmonies, which blended together for a very appealing sound. The play list was a mix of material from their relatively new album Restless, most notably "Sunday Pouring Down Rain" and "Accusations", along with some earlier material, including a cover of the Steve Earl tune "She Loves Me When I'm Blue" Between songs, lead singer Andy Maize took the time to build rapport with the assembled throng, and gave some heartfelt personal opinions on a wide range of subjects from retiring prime ministers to pollution and violence against women. This is a band with integrity, but they don'tram their values down the throat, as it were, rather they provide information and a viewpoint to be considered. Everybody present seemed to have a most enjoyable evening judging by the enthusiastic jumping that was taking place all around me, and the band appeared to be equally at ease. Maize's vocals have a Stipe-like haunting edge and the sound generated by the five musicians formed what I suppose could be de- scribed as the quintessential Canadian sound which is so unfairly maligned in the music press. This sound has a an honesty and down home appeal combined with a deeper edge. Yes indeed "Tractor rock" . Tractor-rock lives! p/c David Scott Stipe-like Andy Maize : with intelligence and awareness - long may it continue. pic David Scott Gene Loves Jezebel but who loves them? slightly beyond the glam image to gether on Heavenly Bodies as Jenn O' Connell Entertainment only subtract from songs like hasn't translated well in the concentrate on their music. never before. However, any "Any Anxious Colour" and studio. Heavenly Bodies, released last measure of togetherness could not "Down". All the songs, but espe- The latest release by Gene Heavenly Bodies as a whole month, is the band's sixth album save this album. cially "American Dreamer" sound Loves entitled Heavenly sounds like a soundtrack for one Jezebel of their career, but their debut on The first single "Josephina" is futuristic and mechanically Bodies has its moments. Few and of those ambiguous sci-fi movies their new label Savage Records. slow and repetitive but it kinda altered within an inch of their far between, but moments none- grows on you. "Josephina", along whose plot you never quite get a Recorded in Munich and lives. theless. with "Voice in the Dark", are two grip on. And like those movies, London, Heavenly Bodies show- James Stevenson, guitarist for The last time I heard of this sole bright spots on this album Gene Loves Jezebel tries real cases the haunting voice of Gene Loves Jezebel states that band they were two guys in an which sounds more like drug- hard to attempt something dif- dynamic frontman Jay Aston, "playing live is what we live for. awful lot of mascara who had hair induced warbling than fresh ferent, but whose efforts break twin of Michael Aston who sang When we're on stage, we are at the colour of overripe citrus fruit. material for the band. Obscure down somewhere. for Gene Loves Jezebel on pre- home". Perhaps the band's genu- The band, thank heavens, has lyrics that Mr Aston sounds too ine energy will emerge on stage Heavenly Bodies has enter- vious albums. As a powerful four moved on from their flamboyant drunk to remember and un- as it has in the past because their taining moments. It's just finding man group comes to- stage attire of the mid-80's and band the necessary screeching guitar riffs electric musical enthusiasm them that proves torturous. / \ March Madness at... I You can prevent another I ivPvBAR/A//^ I election disaster like George I I MONDAY WEDNESDAYI I ■v/ UK I Large 18" Pizza —I Medium 14" Pizza I J® I With 2 hems TUESDAY With 2 Items I I 4 Cans of Pop Buy Panzerroti 2 Cans of Pop IBS I $12.99 Ot the regular price. I | GeHhe 2nd for ?<9.99 I All Cord staff members are eligible to run for -— $1.00 delegate positions on the Hiring Committee for I Dine in only. the 1993/94 Cord Editor-in-Chief. All members Ii/• _i/• r i• i riAKirp- "Remembering all tkis before, but in a dream, all Saving up tke green M&M's for someone you like, Promising to » , yourself e to do „ something >ICJ keeping tkot promise, insecurity revealed breeds reason for insecurity, someone Allowing a second ckance, even tkougk they'll repeat tke Admitting to leaving done something you didn't do, to ease someone's pain, (Soing to an outdoor cafe, splitting a bottle of wine, and talking about.. .things, getting up, leaving anotker to awake alone, "Remembering all tkis before, but in a dream, Waking in tke morning witk your clotkes on, ;An attempt, despite tke fear of rage, Stand in Bewilderment Day [illegeble] ~f~/on£iy from neck to mists, to anKfes, Connected are the \x>orfsPp shacSfes 'Cficrt imprison my physique. tTheir daify tightening grip pierces my souffufmystique. TVty once sponged mind thirsted for Rno\x>fedgfe Xnd now repefs ad(earning, pushing it off the edge. X Burdensome emptiness is a(Tyou xx>ilT find. Cchoes of clanging chains fi(Tthe hoflb\x> corridors of my mind. Its semanss are unrefenting and unforgiving. XfrnmHtnglV, ?et immediately, 160 its Bidding. TDy heart, that once shined Bright, Is novo destined to Blinding night. Use the Key that you hofs steadfast; free from the future, present and the past. defease the planetary Burden, oh master, fordfy Rnight. Can you hear my cry aßove the rattle, Fevered thoughts, hopes, and Veronica lftaas dreams, burned desires ending passionately, abruptly, fulfilment unattainable indifference impossible to realize Discontentment and anguish surmounting bewildered, misguided, be- haviour inevitably lost no where to be found by another until found by oneself Anu HE CORD 22 Comment Thursday, March 4. laai THURSDAY, MARCH 4, 1993 VOLUME XXXIII, ISSUE 24 THECORD "The tie that binds Laurier" since 1926 A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5 (519) 884-2990 -- Fax: (519) 884-5596 Advertising: (519) 884-5092 EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Pat Brethour NEWS EDITOR . Sheldon Page ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Ingrid Nielsen ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Feizal Valli ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR.... Jennifer O'Connell SPORTS EDITOR Evan Bailey PRODUCTION MANAGER Rente Ward GUEST FEATURES EDITOR ART DIRECTOR Ryan Feeley STAFF REPRESENTATIVE Lucie Zima STAFF Production Assistants: . Gail Norton Lynn McCuaig To serve and protect? ..Scott McKay Classified Co-ordinator Libbi Hood sunny Toronto afternoon after a day of shopping I returned to my home and as I went to hop my Virginia Circulation and Filing Parker backyard fence I had to hesitate a moment to let a number of homets fly off. As I stood waiting I Tom Tanner Copy Editors sound from behind me and turned to discover an OPP vehicle on the sidewalk with two Julie McAlpine Oneheard a thud officers quickly exiting the vehicle, both with their hands on their revolvers. When they asked me what the CONTRIBUTORS: hell I was doing I told them and they promptly demanded I put my hands on the squad car. After a search of Dave Scott, Darren Mahaffy, Christina Craft, Ralph Spoltore, Jim my person they then demanded that I empty my bag and produce receipts for ever item in it. After doing so Lowe, Brian Gear, Adam Holt, Scott McKay, Jenn O'Connell, and producing a house key they went on their way with a cheery smirk. Kathleen Wall, Anu, Veronica Naas] Sandra Gabriele, Ryan Do you find it odd that they would find reason to hop the curb and check out a kid hopping a fence in Feeley, Jason McCallum, DenyS DaivS, Terry Humprheys, Ken broad daylight on a busy street(Finch Ave.E, rush hour)? I didn't think so. Breadner, David Slimmon, Stephan Latour, Feizal Valli, Patrtick 1 could tell you other stories of course. Like the threat of a beating I once got from an officer who had Brethour, Steve Doak, Amit Kapur, Kathleen Honey, Michael one hand on his nightstick and the other covering his badge number. Or maybe the time I spent a few hours Rick Cole, Brian Krunk, Greg Sloan, Chris Werynski, Kaufman, in a Spanish jail without charge and was finally let go after signing a forced confession. Maybe the time I Lianne Jewitt, Steve Schau§, Libbi Hood, Steve Tracy, Mike was chased by Metro officers who didn't like me witnessing them beating senseless a group of homeless men Loeters, Patti Chippa in a Bank Machine lobby. Maybe could show you the several hundred dollars worth of non-moving Production: Mo Athia, Sandra Gabriele, Karen Irvine, Steve asleep I (the ones can once they've stopped Schaus, Adrienne Kolotylo, Andrew Cameron, Lindsay Dwarka violations I've received in the five years I've been driving they only find Photo: Scott McKay, Jayson "Rambo" Geroux, Terry Kellet, you without cause). Sheldon Page, Dave Scott, Steve Schaus I could do all this and still I doubt it would convey any special message to you. The truth is, I don't ex- pect you to. Y'see, I have the dubious honor of being singled out by police everywhere I go. I've had the STUDENT PUBLICATIONS privilege of being threatened, harassed and victimized by "Law Enforcement" for ten years now. TREASURER Rosemary Banks I've been tempted to tell people that, contrary to what the police might say, they are not your friends. SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN Vacant Well, I can't say that to the woman who has smiled or cried her way out of a speeding ticket or the PHOTO MANAGER . Chris Skalkos businessman or old woman who can walk down any street at any time of day unmolested by the police be- Photo Technicians: Eda DiLiso cause for those people the police are their friends. Jo-Ann Julien But for me one thing is obvious; to the police I am the enemy and I have altered my thinking to see them Graphic Arts Technician Kathleen Honey as the same. I have nothing but contempt for the police; every member of its force that I have been "engaged" ADVERTISING with has treated me with such a distrust and a mahce that it should be no surprise that I now bare the same ill Manager Jamie Neilson will towards them. have been television and I'll _Ad Production Manager.. . Brian Craig The papers ripe recently with the whole idea of "cop killing" in music and Ad Production Assistants. Eric Green have to confess something: I like the idea. I'm not turned off or outraged by the idea of a dead cop-I've met Paula Kalijarvi and know too many of them to be. When I hear about them [dead cops] I take a certain pleasure; it's not Sales Craig Kelley something I was born with, it's just something that was taught to me by the living ones. Hope O' Heron But it's the people who haven't been taught this lesson that clamor for censorship and measures to stem John McHutchion this anti-cop movement. But what they don't realize is that ultimately, what will lead to the wholesale slaughter of these figures of authority will be the very frustration, anger and bitterness that they themselves BOARD OF DIRECTORS have bred in ordinary citizens the world over, not four minutes of music. Walker, President Martin "To serve and mean to but to me does question "to serve Brian Gear Sean McLean protect" might something you, all it is beg the Vacant Phill Kinzlnger and protect whoT. Dawna Maclvor Michael Rosenblatt Christina Craft (ex officio) Editorial by Feizal Valli, Entertainment Editor necessarily those the rest The Cord continues its publishing year amazingly ahead of schedule. Any The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author and do not reflect of letters to the Editor must be submitted signed, typed and double-spaced by Tues- of The Cord staff, or ofits publisher, WLU Student Publications. day, March 9 at 12:00 pm for the following publication. But, we can only print let- ters that bear the author's real name, telephone number, and I.D. number (if ap- plicable). All letters must be 500 words. All submissions become the property of The Cord and we reserve the right to edit or refuse any submissions. The Cord Thumbnail Editorials will not print anything in the body of the paper considered to be sexist, racist or homophobic in nature by the staff as a voting body, or which is in violation of our THUMBS UP to the Ontario justice system for finally coming to its senses. On a letter lonely I could die. code of ethics. Please, ohgodplease, write to me. I'm so Monday, Judge Katie McGowan found the five women who bared their breasts at a Cord subscription rates are $15.00 per term for addresses within Canada and July rally in Waterloo Park not guilty of committing an indecent act. Despite the $18 the country. We rate for people who have insulted outside have no subscripton acquittal, the decision did not go far enough. The judge only ruled that most Canadians any our mamas. The Cord is printed by the people at the Cambridge Reporter of woujd have tolerated the five women's behaviour, so their acts were not indecent. The are justwowsers. who basic issue of a gender discriminatory law was not dealt with. Dare we hope that courts The Cord publishes each Thursday unless we have too good of a time at the soon give up the pretense that women's bodies are dirty secrets? upcoming Canadian University Press conference in Toronto. The Cord is a and lawmakers confirmed prospective member of Canadian University Press. Kudos for this issue go out to everyone (evga the new CUP Delegate who doesn't bum cigarettes near- ly often enough). ' THUMBS DOWN to the Senate's Sunset Provision designed by Don Baker's Academic All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily Planning Committee. The administration agreed to delete courses from the calender represent those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, or the WLU Student Publica- which have not been offered for seven years and to mark other courses as "offered tions Board of Directors. every second or third year" or as "offered occasionally." No explanation is to be given Copyright (c) 1993 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Ave. West, to disillusion students that most of these courses won't be offered during their time Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may be reproduced here. Several of the courses were taught by professors now retired or deceased. Senate without permission of the Editor-in-Chief. Unless you have a sure-fire prevention members laughed repeatedly at the problem on Tuesday night. It's time that the Senate for writer's block. realized education isn't a joke. THE CORD Thursday. March 4, 1993 Letters to the Editor 23 LETTERS EDITOR THE TO Time for The Cord's Letter Policy a teach in • All letters must be signed, and submitted with the author's name, student Dear Editor, identification number telephone and number. The budget of Wilfrid Laurier University will be cut by 51.2 mil- • All letters will be printed with the author's name, unless otherwise requested. lion every year for the next three years. The university is proposing • Letters must be received by Tuesday at noon for publication in that week's its vision for the year 2020. Provincial funding to our universities is issue in print or on disk. Disks can be picked up on Wednesday. declining. The Students' Union is launching its plans for an expanded • Letters must be typed, double-spaced and cannot exceed 500 words (2 pages). Student Union Building. There is an Academic Restructuring Com- • The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter, but will not correct spelling and mittee which will be making recommendations to the senior adminis- grammar. tration regarding changes to the structure of academics. • The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter, in whole or part, that is in Students, staff and faculty are all going to be affected by changes are being proposed today. It to violation of existing Cord policies, specifically : letters which contain personal which is time open up the issue of our attacks, or defamatory statements. collective future to debate and discussion. We need to give our input now. On March 15 in the Turret, between B:3oam to s:oopm, there will be a Teach-in on the Future of Wilfrid Laurier University. I hope every one of the 1600 students who signed the petition about their dismay with the academics at Laurier and every concerned member of the staff and faculty goes to this teach-in to find out what our fu- Don't ture is going to be. stand for bullshit If you have ever had a question, concern or criticism about the way our university is run then I sincerely hope you speak out loud at Dear Editor, selves, the actual registration run- compare notes. the Teach-In. I'm mad as hell and I'm not ning as well as the Registrar's of- My point is that I talked to the gonna take it anymore! fice. person whose fault I thought it Christina Craft I am sick of everyone com- I challenged them about how the was. When I was talking to the President, WLU Students' Union plaining about the lack of business students receive dif- person, they mentioned that I courses, and the abundance of ferent treatment form the rest of brought up some problems no one Registrar Office's screw-ups. Not the students (good for us biz-nobs ever complained about. because I think it's an unfair in some ways, bad in others). I WHY NOT?? Everyone complaint, but because students asked why they choose to distrib- seems to have had some problem PINK INK complain to other students. ute SOME registration informa- with registration, may it be some- by I spoke to someone in the tion, but not all. I also asked why one in the fourth year of a three Denys Daivs Econom- I receive conflicting information School of Business and year course not getting the all of the complaining gay and lesbian rights ac- ics on Tuesday about the prob- from the Registrar's office and courses needed to graduate, being tivists do, and all of the legal shortcomings provided by lems I saw with registration. [For from the SBE. enrolled in the wrong courses, or Despite government and society as a whole, recently I have been those of who don't know, the If you want the answers, go of- you finding out that the registrar's changing my opinions. I have started to notice some very simple, wonderful SBE tries to run busi- and ask someone from the SBE. fice told you the wrong inter- almost unnoticeable changes being made in the business sector ness student registration them- Then come to me and we can pretation of the course calendar, which lead me to believe that I am actually considered to be a real causing a year's worth of mis- person. Concentrate on your spent tuition. My lover is a real paper tiger. If there is a form or application to Every student knows there are be filled out he'll do it, just for the fun of it. One such form was for But problems with the school. no a Canadian Tire credit card, which he filled out for me with him own ass first one is complaining to the right Dear Editor, listed as my spouse. After much waiting a letter arrived stating that people. If you went and talked to Is it not obvious to everybody that this world has a serious popu- our application had been denied and to feel free to call the head of- responsible, every one of lation problem? Billions of dollars are spent annually to feed the who's fice if we wanted our application to be reconsidered. you people, then maybe some- hungry, keep the peace and get everybody fresh water. Now every I really didn't want the card anyway (even though I was the first your country that offers this good,fortune to the less fortunate are having thing will be done. Tell one to put hundreds of dollars worth of stuff on it), but I took it per- administration, serious economic problems. When does it stop? When is the globe prof's, tell stop sonally. "I have and A-l credit rating, why was my application going to be at a level that will justify us taking care of us? fighting the urge and scream at turned down?" The response, "Urn...urn...I'm not really sure, I'll I'll tell you when! When we pull our asses out of other countries whoever you think can do some- send your application to my supervisor for re-evaluation." Within and concentrate on our own problems. When we stop sending tons of thing about it. Signing a petition days we had a card. food to people in far away lands, that never will be productive, and is good, starting a petition is bet- The other day at the bank, we were changing a few tidbits of feed our own hungry. ter. But sitting across from the procedure on our joint account (okay the truth, he lost his PIN num- Cruel? Perhaps, but ask yourself this question. What are we leav- Dean of whichever faculty and ber) the customer service rep spent a great deal of time explaining ing our next generations? Gross over population? A world with not asking them WHY things are the various account options to us to maximize the return on our meagre enough food in it? War lords that have past generations to thank for way they are makes them answer. balance. keeping them alive with misplaced air drops of food? Don't stand for bullshit answers Without the bat of an eye or an enquiry from us, various spousal Let evolution take place. Pull out. Cut off. Let it happen. such as "Well this is a vast im- plans and options were presented to us. Our bank, which I have provement over the past." if that's been constantly disgruntled with, has just gained much favour for Scott McKay not what you're asking. actually paying attention to individual customers and their specific Cord staff Would someone PLEASE needs without having to be asked. take a personal stake in their fu- The recognition has come from many other services and ture and ask the questions! Give businesses as well, not just for me personally, but for all gays and suggestions, do it with a friend in lesbians. This seems like an appropriate time to slip in that recently case you're intimidated, but DO the City of Kitchener extended same-sex benefits to its employees. I As you may have I IT! Recognition from the YMCA, Big Brothers, and various insurance Complain to whoever has companies has certainly made life easier for us. some responsibility for your It is this subtle recognition which all of the activists want. We I noticed, there are I situation. Please don't waste your just want to be able to walk in some place and say, hey we want a anger at me, but USE IT!!! joint account, we want a family membership or coverage. We don't I three letters on the I want to have to go to court for the simplest little things. We don't Kathleen Honey want to demand things or services with an ultra-political approach I page. As you may I Cord staff or a lot of in-your-face attitude. Simple recognition is all we want. I have noticed, I'm I I quite bitter about it. I CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS - In last week's "Thumbs Down" editorial, The Cord I Write, won't you? I mistakenly stated that the two women who resigned from the Academic Restructuring Committee had been replaced by men. The. two women were not replaced by men, or I Please? I anyone else for that matter. - In last week's Cord, it was mistakenly stated that Ralph Spoltore had been named rookie of the year. In fact, John Spoltore was rookie of the year. THE CORD 24 Comment Thursday, March 4, 1993 Privacy or privilege? Questions raised about media coverage of the French and Mahaffy murders can in bie is now pushing for increased Darren Mahaffy Cord Comment that they have caused these two Southern Ontario was that the ly. "Well then, you get responsibility on the part of victims to lose their humanity. guilty man had been caught and touch with them and have them the father press towards the victims of June 1991 a Burling- On February 17, 1993, Paul the streets were safe again. call us?" At that point, my crime. This type of responsibility ton teenager was Bernardo, a St. Catherines man, Does the media have a right to ended the conversation. insensitive? I is long overdue in our society. Onsnatched from the street, was arrested in connection with do this? Not surprisingly, there Is the media that they Does the media have the right unseen, unheard. Two weeks later rapes committed in Toronto by was an absence of comment from question their motives when family to print whatever it wants? The her body was found in a lake near the "Scarborough Rapist". the Mahaffy and French families. solicit help from other St. Catherines. She had been Further information from In- But this was not for lack of members to contact a traumatized suspect has had his life story laid before the sexually assaulted. spector Vince Bevan, head of the out world. The In April, 1992 a St. Green Ribbon Task Force set up Toronto Sun won a bidding war Catherines teenager was pulled to investigate the deaths of the The insensitive media with The Toronto Star for the wedding pictures. into a car in a church parking lot. girls, said the arrested man was suspect's obviously not Speculation abound amongst She was on her way home from also under investigation for the the media trying. Dan and Debbie family that does members of the press as to how, school, it was mid-afternoon. murders and charges were pend- Mahaffy were not answering their want to be contacted. in a where the crime was done. After an exhaustive search her ing. phones. Dan had told the media It's not surprising that why, even had the to body was found in a ditch outside A media zoo ensued. Within they had no comment. recent press conference Debbie The press gall Mahaffy lashed out at the press. print that Paul Bernardo's father Burlington. Her hair had been cut hours the television and radio sta- the media con- Undaunted They have put her and her family of was facing sexual assault short and she too had been tions were pumping out all the in- I ate dinner, at in tinued. As home through hell. When Leslie went charges. sexually assaulted. formation they could about the (about Ancaster 30 minutes from missing, Debbie Mahaffy was Can the suspect now get a fair Leslie Mahaffy and Kristen suspect. The next day you could 45 from St. Burlington, portrayed as a mother who didn't trial? Will he walk free? If he is French were beautiful, young pick up any newspaper and dis- Catherines) the phone rings. care about her child, who was as not guilty, can he ever be free girls, snatched off the streets of cover where this man lived, evening, this is from the "Good much to blame as the killer for again? Southern Ontario, raped and where he worked, grew up, went related to the CBC. Are you death of her child. When Les- It is quite disturbing that the killed. to school, who he was married to. Burling- the Mahaffy family from lie's body was exhumed last year, media, in their quest to sell news- The public was outraged. The The media had solicited comment ton?" public is still outraged. from anyone and everyone who the press brought the whole story papers or advertising space on would attempt not Their desire to have the killer was remotely connected to the My father, who answered the back to the forefront. television, caught is enormous. And the case. phone, replied that yes, he and I have met Debbie and Dan only to ruin the life of a man media has played this up so much The opinion on the streets of Dan were cousins. "Wonderful, Mahaffy. You will never met two presumed innocent before the could you give us their number so more caring individuals. Their courts, but also tear apart the that we could get in touch with lives have been assaulted twice -- lives the French and Mahaffy them.?" once by whoever killed their families have rebuilt over the last CORDFEEDBACK They received a negative rep- daughter, once by the press. Deb- year. We're here to hear. Bigoted journalists say The Cord's Feedback Booth is open each Thursday, from 10 am to 4 pm, in the Concourse. All members of the Laurier community are the darndest things welcome to comment, although students will be given priority. Comments appear unedited. All comments must include the sub- mitter's ID number. Issues of pressing or enduring interest will be Retrospect commented upon by The Cord. We're your student paper - so make your view known. Thereview in week Now that BM the PM is gone, someone who does something good for Canada should be elected -- Cito Gaston. by Pat Brethour heterosexual men and women even wanted to have -Wendy Jackson sex. And I'll bet you some of these orthodox heterosexuals actually went ahead and acted ... of the time, the world's inanities fail to I must stupid. I never buy wood, so you know, I just never think promiscuously. be surprise me. A second Tory term, the of STUPID EFFING PUNS LIKE THAT!! comeback of bell-bottoms: none of these And, Bob, I'm willing to bet that at least one -M. Hand Most in things threw me off track. bisexual Kitchener-Waterloo didn't get laid last But sometimes, a real looper comes along that week. Security : is it really necessary to do an "ADAM 12" everytime you even the most hardened cynic just has to be sur- Obviously, your sexual orientation does not de- drive away? prised by. cide how promiscuous you will be. You decide, be —P. Blais Such a thing happened this week, when I it as a heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. chanced upon the Elmira Independent's editorial Where's the proof that a bisexual a What a really DULL issue. Hey Pat. Be like Brian: RESIGN!!! has higher "Some types of behaviour will always be un- risk of contracting a or —Wilson Varghese sexually transmitted disease, acceptable, and not a matter of rights" AIDS? In this piece, Bob Verdun, the Independent's Scott Mckay/Evan Bailey "Hawks claim second" issue 23 JOHN Again, there is no proof. You could live your editor, apologizes to his readership for running a Spoltore won rookie NOT Ralph. No coverage on women's varsity life as a bisexual, but never have sex. A celibate a support - classified advertisement for bisexual not an volleyball - WON last game. Two graduating players Lori Sul- bisexual is oxymoron. group. After noticing the ad, he had pulled it. livan, Lori Spoltore. NHL - 1/2 page article - give me a break! Because being attracted to members of both goes on to some truly loath- -Lori Spoltore Verdun then make sexes is not the same as having sex with members some, bigoted remarks. of both sexes. Bisexuality, it seems, is to be equated with al- Where in the world is that intellectual automotive journalist with Bisexuality is not, as Bob Verdun so mistakenly coholism: "Both are excessive types of behaviour the bald head? states, founded on behaviour. Bisexuality is a sexu- that need to be curbed, not supported. Both can —Daryl Martinson al orientation, a way of expressing human sexuality. cause considerable damage to society, and major Bigotry is health costs for taxpayers." always disturbing. But coming from a Where are Rhonda Reist's poems? Give us more! I think she should journalist ~ And just how do bisexuals inflict this damage a journalist who received the Michener have her own column. She is the best. and cost on society? Award for meritorious public service in journalism —Helen — bigotry Sheffer Why, they are promiscuous, says Bob Verdun: such is especially disturbing. "Bisexuality as a lifestyle involves unacceptable Journalists should be the ones exposing and Where was Rhonda Reist's poem in the Feb. issue of THE 26/93 risks of spreading venereal diseases, especially thereby destroying such bigotry, not perpetuating it. CORD? The poems provide help the read- classiness that her make AIDS. I wish I could dismiss Verdun's views as ex- ing of THE CORD a pleasurable experience. Loop-te-doo. treme, as isolated. Unfortunately, that's not pos- —David Toews Let's get a few things straight, for Bob Verdun, sible. A good number of people in society share his and the rest of his ilk. views, and spout the same line. Great column Ingrid ~keep it up! a disease that kills. Bisexuality is They usually include gays —Adrienne Hodgin Alcoholism is and lesbians in their not a disease, it is a way of being. You don't choose rants. Verdun does not. He has said that he would to be bisexual, any more than you choose to be accept advertising for a homosexual support group. Dear Ouija - What's wrong with Grease - we love it! heterosexual. You just are what you are. For me, that fact doesn't matter much. Bigotry -Barbara Mestyan and Cathy Thomson And please, Bob Verdun, where the hell is your is bigotry is bigotry, whatever particular form it proof that bisexuals are more promiscuous than takes, whatever group it happens to be aimed re: down - info, female mem- To Pat Brethour thumbs innaccurate heterosexuals? against. bers were NOT replaced by men. There is no proof. society -Marie Molloy "We have a of wimpy people that never The last time I was at a bar, there seemed to be take a stand on anything," said Bob Verdun. lots of men and women wandering around chatting There can be no doubt that Verdun has taken a is that Car Guru? Where with each other, flirting with each other. stand on this issue. —Steve Ridout You know what, Bob? I bet some of those But think about who he's standing with. THE CORD Comment 25 Getting past first base Michael Kaufman Comment "raping". In the latter, he said, me about erogenous zones. The you tie the girl to a tree, i laughed back of a girl's neck was like an I was in Grade Six, at the time, as if it were all a joke. Aladdin's lamp to conjure up a and we were all trying to A year or two later, when all girl's desire. Ifrubbed enough the Whenfigure out the basics of the guys were preoccupied with girl would melt under your fin- sex, a friend explained the dif- getting to "first base" -- that is, a gers. I wore out many a neck in ference between "fucking" and serious kiss — another friend told the months that followed. The two stories shock me now: one is simply hideous, while the other is simply silly. Both WOMEN WORDS stories, though, have much in by members common. These tidbits of advice of the Women's Centre shared the assumption that sex was something boys, or men, got. by Sandra Gabriele We might get it by force or we might get it by smooth moves, story goes like this: One woman removes her shirt one but in the end, the issue was hot summer day. She's arrested on charges of "indecent about our pleasure and our desire. Theexposure". She is convicted. A rally takes place in Water- The one thing that was in- loo Park in protest. More women remove their shirts in defiance. comprehensible to me in Grade Five more women are arrested on the same charges. These five Six was that males could force women were acquitted of all charges this past week. themselves on females by some- What disturbs me most about this bare-breast controversy is that thing less than bondage to a tree. the underlying issue surrounding the move to protest the arrest and After all, the girls we knew at the subsequent conviction of Gwen Jacobs seems to have been entirely time were not only taller than us, missed. they certainly were not going to The incident was not found to "have harmful effects". These be pushed around. Little did I itself";, the more pedestrian physical force. women were acquitted on the basis that their behavior was not "titil- know that within a few years, a ("Aw, come one it'll be fun"), Such things poison the rela- lating", or "disturbing" to society, a society that is phallocentric and certain male prerogative would hard luck stories ("I'll die of blue tionships between men and based on the male vision. begin to assert itself. balls if we don't"), manipulation women. Even if you're the gent- This seems to me to not really be the victory that many may We would have power, power ("What the hell, let's just have lest guy in the world, the woman claim it to be. By defining the actions of these women in terms of to get what we wanted by persua- one more drink"), or for some you're interested in probably has are either. o -- what they are not, does not necessarily define what they sion ("I love you more than life guy. if all else failed, sheer continued on page 26 In fact, by omitting a clear definition of what these actions did achieve suggests that the sight of a woman's bare breast may indeed be considered "erotic", and thus, "disturbing". The notion that bare breasts are necessarily erotic, and must be kept covered, lays the Yugoslavia: the hate burden of responsibility on the female. By claiming that breasts are too sexually arousing and must therefore remain hidden for the welfare of an entire society, com- goes on and on and... pletely ignores the responsibility of the male to control himself and his response to what he finds sexually stimulating. It should not be Amit Kapur Cord Comment the politicians - who, coinciden- question. a case of a woman needing to necessarily reconstruct her life and tally, seem to be the last to suffer A main factor they overlook, diplomats -- the way she chooses to live it, in order to avoid tempting every continue during a war and perpetuated however, is the continuing hatred to around man, or woman, she may encounter. shuttle the by diplomats who did not want to in the region. It's not just that the world in search of Telling a woman that a part of her body is far too tempting to be While a see themselves get involved in a Bosnians hate the Serbs and vice- peace plan the Yugos- — seen, not only further objectifies her, but contributes to the control for former shooting war. versa but the Croats hate Bos- lavia, the actual chances for peace that patriarchy exerts on the life of a woman every single day. Funny how they are willing to nians, and the Serbs as well. How seem once What becomes particularly ironic is that women can continue to diminished. What was send in 1 ighlly-armed do you create a region where all a vibrant country full of warm, bare their breasts down the street at the local strip bar free of the peacekeepers with no orders to the major population groups hate friendly people has turned into a fear of being arrested on indecent exposure charges. How is that a shoot, but shudder at sending in a each other? cauldron of hatred. woman can not remove her shirt when she is hot, but can for money powerful military force. If they The war has gone on for too Did the miss its and the sexual enjoyment of men? Is this not done to be "erotic"? Is UN mission? had the real interests of their long and the hatred has built up it too The Na- this not "disturbing"? Was late? United soldiers in mind, why not keep too much. Any peace deal might must good While the acquittal of these women is a positive sign, the threat tions take a look at it- the peacekeepers at home? stop the fighting for a while, self and decide what it did of other women still being charged with this crime still exists. The wrong, Instead, the diplomats say that however, the underlying feelings and why such a fact men and women are not treated equally within the judicial sys- preventable while Kuwait and Somalia held will still remain. catastrophe occurred. no tem still remains. The fact is, that while strives have been made hope for diplomatic efforts, And it's the underlying feel- Intervention should have been Yugoslavia within the feminist movement, patriarchy is still alive and thriving. the former is another ings which destroy. immediate, at the beginning of the conflict. The UN should have taken preventative measures to ensure that fighting never flared BLOCS BY JAY McCALLUM up, instead of waiting for the MENTAL and fighting then beginning peace talks. As they now realize, prevent- ing a war is much easier than stopping one. Now, tens of thousands of deaths, rapes, injuries, and psychological scars later, the hatred within this area simply feeds the desire for further revenge. For every one member of my family you kill, I kill one of yours. And so on. It is difficult to see how the international community could come to the help of so many na- tions in the past while ignoring Bosnia and Croatia. True, these two countries didn't have the oil resources (and hence the economic power) of Kuwait, nor the pitiful scencs of famine and starvation of Somalia. Nevertheless, there are people there, innocent civilians who want nothing else than to live their lives in peace. The war was the making of Guns don't kill people...cowardly politicians do. Pic: Scott McKay THE CORD 26 Comment Thursday, March 4. 1993 SHOOTING The ball is in the men's court now ing about all this is that it hurts all guilty until we prove ourselves continued page 25 from men too. Men who harass or innocent. No one says all men are some experiences of coercion, coerce or rape don't do so be- rapists or batterers. manipulation, sexist put-downs, cause men are naturally bad or The ball is in men's court. We or assault. What's happened to predatory beasts. It's because of can protest and counter-charge her will effect any relationship the ways that we've learned to be until we're blue in the face, but FROM she enters into. men. that won't make the problem go LIP THE more, sex a to real Question: What will Brian What's becomes We've learned that be away. game, a contest of wills. Rather men means to assert our power Better that we rise to the occa- Mulroney do for his next job? than communicating our feelings and control, although not usually sion and listen carefully to the and desires, and knowing we'll be through physical force. It also voices of women, voices that respected for what we want or means shutting down our capacity have been buried for far too long. don't want, both men and women to feel what others feel, an in- Better we urge our student coun- The Shots: circle around, hint, and try to dispensable quality if you're in- cils and administrations to adopt guess what the other person is terested in meeting your own clear codes of conduct about sex- thinking. needs without regard for others. ual harassment and dating be- The greatest harm of all is And so let's not waste energy haviour. Better that we encourage done to women. Study after study debating statistics. Whether it's educational programs on our in the United States and Canada ten per cent or 30 per cent who campuses. Better that we look at suggest that between 20 and 30 have been sexually assaulted, ways that our own attitudes and per cent of university-aged we've got a terrible problem on behaviour might contribute to the women are survivors of sexual our hands. problem, whether we know it or "See if he could handle the pres assault. Many others feel the Let's not waste energy not. sure as a student pub manager." potential of assault and join the countering that women are not al- And better we learn to chal- Routley Kevin "Petie" 50 per cent of Canadian women ways angels. Of course, they're lenge the men around us to Wilf's Manager who are fearful to walk to the not, but men are not regularly change. And to do it now. corner store at night (although an beaten or raped by women. even greater danger is from Let's not waste time with Michael Kaufman is the National someone they know). needless charges about male- Director of the White Ribbon Perhaps what is most surpris- bashers or "They're saying we're Campaign. And on the eighth day, Man created language male language creates, as well as same tnree stereotypical reinforces, a double standard in centrefold women in an attempt which women are viewed differ- to bed them and brag to the entire around with his kids and The Men's Room ['Stick ently than men. It creates the so- nation about their sexual exploits jMila." by members Against cial perception that women are with these "prizes". This show Dowds of Men [Kim Violence Against Women inferior to men. clearly demonstrates the power [Third English I Year Take the word slut. The Ox- position men have over women. by Terry Humphreys ford dictionary defines slut as "1. Women are sexual objects for a dirty, slovenly woman. 2. an the mans pleasure and use. Men anguage rules the way in immoral or dissolute woman. 3. a are asked the questions, not vice which we think. Anyone loose woman. The male version is versa. The men get to choose who can speak more stud which is defined as "a male their date and dump the rest, not than one language knows that animal used for breeding". It vice versa. And the men choose people actually think differently seems that the dictionary is the where they go on their date. about issues based on the basis of our language, giving us Do we really think this show semantics of the native tongue. the meaning of every word. would be on the air if the gender For example, the Inuit have 12 or If words are the way in which roles were reversed? The show more different descriptions for we communicate, then these be called SLUTS featuring "Enrole Mila in modelling." could the word "snow". The ancient words are creating a double stan- as host. Melanie Spielmacher Sandra Bernhardt Egyptians had no word for reli- dard in which the evaluation of In instance, maybe the ac- Honours Arts this gion. women is negative. In fact, the tual definition of a stud isn't so Our own language is no ex- slang term of stud, as we know it, far off. Think about it -- a male ception. The English language (as is a positive term reinforcing animal used for breeding. well as many other languages man's superiority over women. Stud and slut are equivalent around the world) is male Take the television show terms with opposite connotations. oriented lingo. Strangely enough, STUDS. Two stereotypical If it were just this isolated term it is not female friendly. This macho men each get to date the that had a double standard then the problem would be easier to resolve, but it isn't. Countless examples are readi- "Car Salesman" CEREBELLA by Ryan Feeley ly available. The terms "hunk" Terry Humphreys and "babe" come to mind. Hunk Masters Psychology is a large muscular Greek god, while a babe is an innocent, help- less little child. Just the words "beefcake" and "cheesecake" refer to the physical strength of the genders. Beefcake offers more sub- stance and stability. Cheesecake is a soft and sweet delicacy with less substance. The difference be- tween bachelor and spinster, master and mistress were given in our last article. "Shovelling shit, well some All of these terms symbolize things never change." the stereotypical gender roles in Preston Manning our society where men have the Reform Party Master power and control over women. Our language was designed by men, so it should be of no great revelation that men have given themselves this more posi- tive image in order to maintain control. 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