Quote of the Week: "I shall never believe that God plays dice with the universe." --Albert Einstein THE ~DO E

Student ~wspaper of Widener llniversity Volume 50INumber 31 Friday, April 4, 1997

I. .1 J9{SJ'lJl£ TJ-{JS Knowledge Does Not .Come Cheap l£'lJJrr'J09\[ $tudents anticipate tuition increase

By Lori Townsend years have only effected certain depart­ Recently, there has been a down-s iz­ Staff Writer ments, and only slightly raised the gener­ ing trend in many college departments. Ca.npu/;llI. al tuition cost. However, reducing faculty and/or pro­ While students are worried about aca­ On a national level, the average tuition grams is not enough to alleviate tuition demics, administrators are discussing the rate is $12,823 at private higher-level costs for students. Since college tuition is financial matters for the upcoming fall institutions, according to a survey con­ high, many prospective students are Vnd..... a.daa-te semester. In previous years, there has ducted by UAW. The present rate for forced to base their decisions on financial 01 'Ch..e "1iIIl""ee'r been a tuition increase at Widener as well many private universities in this area factors, rather than academics, when p ..e4 as at many other private universities in range from $10,518 at Cabrini College to the area. When asked to comment on the $19,124 at Swarthmore College. The pre­ choosing a school. possible increase, or any information on sent average tuition at Widener ranges According to the US News, colleges &p~C~ tuition, W. David Eckard, vice president from $12,950 to $13,750 a year. are trying to blame the government for PR8e'7 for administration and finance, said he In every student's life, along with par­ increased costs. Meanwhile, parents of did not have a comment at the time. tying and studying, are the loans that fol­ ....le-Bopp the students are demanding more health On a positive note, Widener is not one low you after graduation. Suppose you and recreational services. Co:D1.~ of the most expensive private schools in get an average middle-class job. If you are graduating this year, p ••e9 the area and doesn't raise tuition as often Approximately 95 work days of the year finances will effect you in a negative way as other private schools. For example, will be dedicated to pay for one year of since loan payments will have to be paid '.rh.ta "1iIIl""ee'r &10 the University of Pennsylvania increased college at a private institution such as "1iIIl"":1den .... undergraduate tuition in the past two Widener. In contrast, twenty years ago it only six months after you graduate. However, if you are here next year, it is p ..e~ ye~rs by approximately $4000. The only took half as long to pay for educa­ majority of the undergraduate tuition tion, according to the September 16, unknown exactly how much you will be increases at Widener within the past two 1996 edition of the US News. paying for tuition. Inl.tlai".... "1 Superman Stops Comet! The Dome Swaps Sky-Cam for Hubble Telescope " .. from certain doom. With a gleam in hi s eye and his biceps bulging, he made quick time rerooting the comet and the UFO which lagged behind it. ~ Given hi s busy schedule, Superman Dan Horn page 7 could only offer thi s comment. "All I kn ow is that your MacMori and Center is not really being rebuilt as a student cen­ G.ro•• e .PO.1D.:& ter. There are other purposes ... much dark­ Blank er, sinister purposes." With th at, he p-.e8 cupped hi s ear, li stened for the di stressed calls of others, and di sappeared faster than ·a·speeding bullet. This raised an interesting questi on. SpOIl' What is the newly renovated MacMoriand center being used for ? As a result of the ·investigation that followed the close encounter with the UFO, evi- . dence came that may bring Widener to its knees. Original encoded documents were .. A ..'Chl..e1oe 01 'Ch.e found inside the reflecting pool by the hundreds. After an agonizing night of "'1lIl'"eek Superman halting comet, averting destruction of Widener's campus decoding the messages with our Little p-.e::J.2J Orphan Annie decoder rings, we at The By Princess Leia Organa Solo was discovered again by Alan H~le and Dome ullcoy.ered the purpose of the con- Cher Horowitz Softball ~omas Bop~ as they w.ere searchIng t~e - stru~tion. M!;lcMorland center is being pB8e::J.2J Staff Writers skies ?n the mght ofJuly ~2, 1995. It ~Ill constructed for the sole purpose of offer- be enjoyed by ma~y _ on Its 43,000 .mlle- ing UFOs--a place to land. Why do you Phillie. It's a bird, it's a plane, NO! It's per hour path. It Will not return again for think it's being built in a round forma- PRfle::J.2J Superman! As comet Hale-Bopp hurtled 2,400 years. tion? The UFO trailing Wednesday's toward earth, honing in on its target of . Students all over campus cowered in comet knew this and attempted the first BD.d01~ Widener University, Superman saved us fear Wednesday nightas this aerial phe- landing Widener would host. Details of ....aclDe •• once again. In a startling photo by ama­ nomenon hurtled toward Kapelski who were involved in this dastardly plot p ..e::J.2J teur photographer Mario DeNiro , Learning Center. Just as the comet began have yet to be determined due to a mal- Superman is shown stopping the comet in its descent toward the reflecting pool, the functioning of the decoder rings. We will mid-air. Man of Steel appeared out of the dark, stay on top of this story as the details Last seen 4,200 years ago, the comet starry night to save his Pioneer friends unfold. t"ag841! THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 EDITORIAL PAGE Editorial Question of the Week "lf you could be anyone in the world The Reglstratlon Nlghtmare for one day, who would it be? Why?"

Ah, yes ... spring is in the ai r. The time of flowers blooming, trees turning green and birds chirping. Then there's research papers, projects and the dreaded fi nal exams. What a way to ruin a season. On top of all of th is is registrati on fo r next fa ll's classes. Like students don't have enough to worry about during the fi nal month of classes. Now, we have to wonder if we will be able to get into all of the classes we need to ful fi ll graduati on requirements. Instead of spending valuable time in fro nt of computers typing away, we have to stand "Darth Vader, because he's big, in li ne just to be told, "Sorry, that class is full ." All of a sudden, registrati on nervous­ "The Wonder Twins" Teri Chiodo and black, and people take him ness turns to a full -bl own case of the cold sweats. Then we have to chase down a pro­ Erika DeHoratus seriously" fessor asking if they will sign us into their already full class. After that we have to go Lloyd Hill back (0 the registrar and show the valuable signature. That takes care of one class, but what about the rest? "David Copperfield because of So, the real question arises: Why does Widener, and some other universities, schedule Claudia Schiffer" "Bruce Willis, to play bedroom golf with Demi Moore" registration during the most hecti c part of the semester? Couldn 't we register fo r next Chris Deyoung semester's cl asses earl ier in the current semester? Or, at the least, make it a little less John Rigi stressfull ? There are better ways of going about this. "Superman, for the Many other universities have adopted new ways of registering for classes. One way is X-Ray vision" the automated telephone system which all ows students to register by simply calling a Jesse Carpenter number and pushing a few buttons. More advanced is the use of the internet in regis­ trati on. This all ows a student to access a university's web page and enroll in classes, "Surgeon, so I could look inside all from the comfort of their own room. In Widener's defense, there has been talk of the human body and not be updating the registrati on process to this level. With the improved Widener web site, it squeamish about it" defi nitely is a possiblity. This will likely come as good news to all students who dread Michelle Turgeon the 'R' word . Just imagine, no more lines or registration permits. It would almost make you look forward to another year of studying, reasearching and writing. Almos!.. ... "Dr. Goldstein, so I could give myself an A" In honor of April Fools Day we have Yoshi Arai "Alex Trebek, Jeopardy is my inserted fake stories favorite show" randomly throughout the paper. Denise Galio "Jan, Cindy and Marsha Brady" If you can't tell the fake stories from Jaime Hohl, Christy Bozzelli, "Peter Parker (Spiderman), for Heather Ericson the web shooters" the real ones, please put down the Krista Lieberwirth "Kurt Cobain, to feel what it is paper now!!!!!!!!! like to be dead" "Les Claypool" I Brian Schreiner Dan Deegan The Dome sta "Shirley Temple, for her hair" The Dome Shelley Capano Widener University - ! ' ''Tweety bird, because he's Box 1175 yellow" Chester, PA 19013 Sunshine Termine ...Vi (610) 499-4421 "A dog, because all they have to do is eat sleep and play" The Dome is published by the students of Widener University for Michelle Grau the college community on Fridays during the academic year, except during final examinations and immediately following vacations. "A bird so I could #?%! on all Opinions expressed herein do not necessarily coincide with those of the people I don't like" the administration. It is Dome policy that unsigned letters to the edi­ Lynne King tor will not be accepted. Mail subscription price is $15 per year. "Elvis Presley, he's the 'King"" "Michael Jordan, no explana­ Postage paid by Chester, Pa. Jen Reilly and Amy Gampico 19013. tion needed" Maura Lyng The Dome reserves the right not to publish all materials received and "The invisible man, for the no letters to the editor will be printed unless they are signed and con­ places I'd go" tain a phone number. Sean Economou "Kyle from Melrose, cause he's Editors-in-Chief: Brian Arcidiacono and Chris Mahan cool" Scott Gleichenhaus Advertising Manager; Jen Harrison "Bob Piotti, becausehe's the Entertainment Editor: Rob Tacey man" "Madonna, because she's Doug Rowe the diva" News Editor: Doug Ferguson Alba Morda

Sports 'Edltor: Dana Gubitosa "Uncle Jesse, because all he does is drink all day" Staff Writers: Chris DeAngelis, Christine Dillon, Kathleen Nick Stuardi Gallagher, Paul Ivanowski, Anthony Leone, Christopher Rodolico, . "Jenny McCarthy, because & Lori Townsend "Lisa Bronca, because she's a she's hot and I'd be on every 'Movie Star'" guys wall" Advisor; Tom Feeney Bianca Bonanno, Kelley Mount Jenl! ~~1 . and Andrea Blanda .1;• .

The Dome does not endorse any advertiser or accept responsibility il!8SSnH pue !Iepe)l t4 :~ for claims or actions made by the advertisers. 1!4 P.I 9W!1 5!41 pue Ulefle beJI pue ellqn qwoq PlnOM compiled by: Rodolico I esn~ 'UOIUlI:> 1U8p!S8Jd,.:S8M _ sue I:KIJJ O~ 91U Ch~ her " r Friday, April 4, 1997 THE DOME . Page 3 WIDENER to. tk &dit0Jz4 r------, More Snack Bar Controversy I All letters to the editors or opinion pieces must I Ibe submitted with a name and phon~ number inl To the Students and Administration of Widener University: I order to be published. No anonymous letters I I am writing this letter in response to the OptEd published in the March 21 issue of the Dome. The article written by Mr. Brian Hemphill was a shining example of what I I or articles will be .accepted. Submissions must I have realized this campus has been missing ever since I started attending: a place for I be received before Tuesday evening I students to hang out, to grab some food, see a show and just relax. What Widener needs, is a snack bar. I ' . for publication inthe current week. I Let me inform the readers as to my background and why I am positive that a snack . ~ .J bar would be a success at Widener. I am a first-year full time graduate student here at L-_ -___.. ______Widener. For the four previous years, I attended Lafayette College in Easton, PA. One of the things that I loved most about the college was the focal point of the campus, the student center. Group Therapy Revisited When I arrived on campus, the student center was only two years old. One of it's main draws was that in addition to the main dining hall upstairs, it had a snack bar downstairs. The snack bar was open when the student center was open, which was 8 Dear Editors, a.m. to I a.m Sunday through Thursday, and 8 a.m to 2 a.m. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The snack bar itself wasn't anything special looking. There were no fancy dec­ I enjoyed your "Group Therapy" feature in the March 21 DOME. It's my duty, how­ orations, no pool tables and no trivial pursuit cards. However, it had the grill. ever, to tell you that, when it comes to group projects and large and small At the grill, you could get anything. Burgers, chicken sandwiches, grilled cheeses, businesslindustry today, you can run, but you can't hide. cheesesteaks, fries, pretzels, pizza and milkshakes were just a few of the examples of I've been teaching "Effective Communication" for 10 semesters at Widener, and also the items sold into the wee hours of the night. We also had a soda and juice fountain, consulting at various Delaware Valley companies. The truth is, whether you call them as well as our own version of the "Pioneer Pantry", that sold chips, sodas, ice cream, Quality Circles, team concept units, group projects of just plain staff meetings, they're candy, cereal, etc. In addition, it had a full sandwich bar and a line that featured two in place and you'll come in contact with them, unless you're planning to join the:: fami­ hot entrees. The sandwich bar and hot entree line were open for lunch and dinner hours ly business where they're banned -- or you slug down that Kool-Aid in Jonestown. I'd only. A small addition was added my senior year that served gourmet coffee along with say that's a bit of a drastic measure (and lethal) to escape what you see as as an "inane concept." muffins, cookies, pastries and frozen yogurt. I've also taught evening classes in "Effective Communication" for nine semesters at The snack bar was an enormous success partially because it was run by the same Widener's Delaware campus. The past four semesters, 1 queried 63 students, all of food service corporation that ran the cafeteria upstairs. That meant that instead of using whom had been or were in industry in full-time jobs on the subject. Fully 60 of them, their meal plan in the cafeteria, students could go down to the snack bar, where they whether they worked in large or small companies, had participated in one or more would get "cash equivalency" for their mealplan, meaning that they would get a certain group projects. Of the three who hadn't, one was by then unemployed, one worked in value for their pre-paid meals counted toward their purchase, and the difference was to a two-man office, and one was in a fast, food shop where, he said, "I wish we had 'em .. . be made up by the students. The leftover balance could be made up using cash or by using "flex dollars", which was a pre-paid declining balance account used to make pur­ we could have straightend out some problems." chases at the snack bar. All sophomore, junior and senior students were required to I agree with your Type A-B-C classifications, but frequently, as in my class and in industry, managers are savvy enough to watch what's going on. The Type A people like carry at least $250 of flex per semester. Any more was optional. Some upperclassmen carried over a thousand dollars of flex per semester and used the snack bar for all their you are redeemed self starters and will go far in the company. The Type B folks are rel­ meals. Others used only the required $250 to grab coffee between classes or a snack egated to fo~lower/individual contributor roles. And the Type C people -- the ones you late Friday night state don't know what class the project is for -- won't have much of a history with the So we know how the snack bar could be a success at Widener, without any com­ company. Darrell Downsizer will take care of them. plaints by Aramark: let them run it. But would the snack bar draw students? I believe So your feature was fun but not very realistic. I once had a class of students, none that there is no question that it would. I believe that students would relish the variety of whom ever held a part-time job. That class had more fights, more trouble getting of food that they could purchase, and would love to have some place to go to grab food along with each other and more whiners coming to me demanding that one of their after meal times. It would be a benefit to commuting students who arrive at odd times peers get the boot from the team than any other. That's another thing group projects do: before diriner and could purchase a chicken sandwich, fries and a Coke to go. It would they teach people how to get along or fall on their faces. Live with it, Chris: you were be a great place to go on a Friday night after a party to grab some mozzarella sticks and right on-target when you said "these insipid things will always exist." Good luck! a Gatorade. In addition, whenever there was a performer coming to campus that was not expect- Ed Hercer ed to draw more than 200 students, he would perform in the snack bar. The Lafayette Activities Forum scheduled such performers as Carrot Top, James Binder and the Regurgitator to come and perform. The LAF usually had a different performer there every weekend. And since they performed at the snack bar, it was possible to go get, well, a snack before hand, and sit down with food to watch. the. beneh\£ 0\ h'Jins-o\~ campos. continued on page 4

"'~"'- C"th~ -ER ~~<'~ .'.'.';",. ,

The Dome is seeking an underclassman interested in training to be advertising manager in fall 1997. Training will begin after spring break. Please leave a message on x4421. Page 4 THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 WIDENER

1!l.1!I ; Undergraduate of the Week I o PIED By Mark Sendek door open to encourage social interaction. ~ ~ Special to The Dome Many times, it is to no avail. Anyway, it ~ ~ fires me up when students prop the build­ ~ ~ Everyone must pitch in to order to pre­ ings front doors open. Any clown can vent crime on campus, because it is a walk right in and go about his or her ~ ~ shared responsibility between campus shady business. These proppers not only . ~ ~ safety and the student body. If we take endanger themselves but also the other ~ ~ away a criminal's opportunity, we can residents. On the weekends, especially, ~ ~ help to take away the threat. We can also potential lawbreakers could walk right ~ ~ take steps to prevent potential disasters in into some buildings at all hours of the our residence halls. night. Why? Because some people in an ~ ~ In my three years as a resident assis­ inebriated daze want to let their buddies ~ ~ tant, I have witnessed a number of poten­ into the building to hang out. Next time ~ ~ tial problems involved with safety that it might not be your buddies strolling ~ ~ could have been avoided. If you live on through that door. 1!l.1!l the first floor, I recommend locking the On a lighter note, as you all know, bar­ windows at night. You do not want to be becue grills are allowed only with a per­ By Christine Dillon together. Parler has been a member of the awakened at 7 a.m. to the sounds of mit from campus safety. However, I do Staff Writer Honors Program and stated how wonder­ Snoop Doggy Dogg as one elementary not suggest deciding to hold a barbecue ful it is. She feels that it enlightens the inside your room. Call me crazy, but fire, Nikki Parler, a senior at Widener, is school student leisurely glances around students by approaching topics that are your room while another is climbing charcoal, and lighter fluid could cause a the undergraduate of the week. Parler is not covered in most daily undergraduate smoky inferno that just might set the fire an accounting major who will be graduat­ through the window. As you can see, it classes. A new perspectiveis gained alarm off. Not only does it pretty much ing in May with a cumulative grade point doesn ' t take a rocket sc ientist to figure when students look at the whole picture. end the barbecue festivities, it also mi ght average of 3.7. out that an open window is an opportuni­ Parler is a very energetic and friendly put a damper on things should the build­ Parler is a very active member of the ty to enter. person whose key to life lies in staying If you are in the library, do not leave ing be set ablaze. Widener community. She is associated active. She could not stress enough the valuables such as keys, wallets, purses, or with a number of honor societies and I think that congratulations should go importance of living a full life. She laptop computers unattended as you roam organi zati ons. She is the recipient of the out to both the students and campus safe­ accomplishes this personally by staying the library in a quest for knowledge. AICPA Scholarship, the Oskin ty with regard to the enonnous drop in the busy, volunteering her time, and making Some students blame the "Chesterites" Scholarship, the VWR Scholarship, the number of weekend fights on campus. sure she has time for herself. for everything from stealing their mi s­ WW Smith Scholarship, and the John F. Together we have been able to prevent Graduation is quickly approaching placed Widener IDs to grand theft auto. Kennedy Scholarship. She is in th e book non-student "street toughs" from ruining and Parler is looking for future employ­ There may be some incidents involving Who's Who in American Colleges and any more Widener student gatherings. In ment through on-campus interviewing. Chester residents from "across the Universities, and is both a member of the addition, just remember that your guests Her goal is to obtain a position that bridge," but would anyone ever consider Social Science Honor Society and the are your responsibility. that another Widener student mi ght be Accounting Honor Society. Parler is also involves the use of accounting, budgeting mixed up in some foul play? Is it bl as­ If we all just follow these simple yet on the Dean's List and has received and finance. She would also like a job phemy to suggest that another Widener important steps, Widener can be a safer Academic Honors. that allows her to develop her interper­ student might not be a totally upstanding campus. All it takes is a little awareness. Parler plays a vital role in the growth sonal skills through project teams and citizen? That may be the question of the Do not take any risks that might hurt you of Widener's community. She is Vice­ client relationships. After working for a day. Also, let the record show that there or any other person. Finally, the next few years, Parler plans on going back to President of the National Association of are some honest, hard-working, scholarly, time you are awakened by someone graduate school. Black Accountants, a member of the and law-abiding Chester citizens. singing Snoop Doggy Dogg, and before While talking to Parl er, she comment­ Accounting Society, and a member of the Another area of concern is the prop­ you roll over and go back to sleep, make ed on many things about life and school. CAPS Advisory Board. She was a con­ ping of residence halls' front doors. Like sure there is no one climbing in your win­ There are a lot of things that have helped versation buddy for the International many people, I sometimes keep my room dow. Student Services, a peer counselor for her along her path. One of the most Student Services: Project Prepare, and a important would be time management Widener University tour guide for the Admissions Office. and the need for people to stay positive. Parler is president of Alpha Kappa Alpha "If people stay positive no matter what Performance and Lecture Series 1996-97 Sorority, president of the Black Student happens then they can do anything they Union, and a member of the Women's want to. People also have to realize that Basketball team. life is what you make of it, so take advan­ The Brubeck Parler recommends Widener's busi­ tage of the opportunities that are around ness administration program highly. She now because they may only come around feels it is excellent and very challenging. once." When Parler was asked if she had Brothers Although she feels Widener is a good anything else to say, she wanted to make school on the whole, she definitely rec­ one point clear. "People must believe in ommends an improvement in social themselves. lif they do this and have God activities for students. She feels that in their heart, then they can accomplish Widener needs to develop an environ­ anything." ment which incorporates everyone

Saturday, April 12, 1997, 8:00 p.m. Alumni Auditorium • Admission Free Frlday,Aprii 4, 1997 THE DOME PageS WIDENER Not Too "Fatigued" To Dine Intrax Off-Track

By Rebekah Barranger Dining-In also included a punch ceremo­ Special to The Dome ny, Cadet Awards Presentation, and skits English learning program changes hands given by each class and cadre. By Jen Harrison year learning English. Students pay a cer­ On March 21, the Media Townehouse Distinguished guests in attendance Staff Writer tain amount for housing (they live in hosted the Pioneer Battalionfs annual included: the speaker Brigadier General Sharples Hall), Intrax classes, and other Dining-In. The Pioneer Battalion consists (retired) John A. Hedrick, Lieutenant When students study abroad, one of necessities. of Army ROTC programs from Widener Colonel (retired) George R. Davis, the major problems they face is the lan­ No drastic changes will occur with the (host school), Villanova, West Chester, Lieutenant Colonel (retired) Vince C. guage barrier. On Widener's campus, arrival of PU; they will move right into and Cheyney. A Dining-In is a formal Gorman, Lieutenant Colonel Frank S. Intrax has provided English as a second Intrax's home, and hire a new staff. dinner function for members of Army Petty, Captain Lee Ann Cebula, Second language (ESL) classes for those who However, Craig Loundas, dean of student ROTC and distinguished guests. Lieutenant Michael G. Drew, Second want to hurdle that barrier. Unfortunately life, said the difference between the two The ceremony originated in the British Lieutenant Ryan M. Butler, and William for the students, Intrax, "the intensive learning programs is that PU will have a Army and is a tradition which first arose J. Yearsley. English program with academic empha­ better handle on how to recruit more stu­ in the 18th century. The custom of a unit's Those that received awards during the sis," will no longer be the same learning dents because of more international mar­ officers dining together was established Cadet Awards Presentation from Widener institute come May 19th. Packed boxes keting. Currently, only about 20% of for numerous reasons. The practice was (not including seniors): Catet (CDT) John fill Director Susan Pendo's and Student Intrax students are college students at useful in larger units in which officers Gagliardo- Retired Officers Assoc. Services Coordinator Meg Nielson's Widener, while 80% leave to go to anoth­ might not come into contact with one award, CDT Terrance Schooler- Society offices, and foreign students, wearing er school, work, or back to their home­ another. The United States Army adopted of the War of 1812 award, CDT James bright but concerned smiles, mill in the land. Loundas would like to see that 20% this tradition, and the Officers' Mess Hacker- American Legion award, CDT hallway. Pendo and Nielson are under­ number rise. His hope is that there will be became a common fixture of American Brenda Canally- MOWW Wentzel standably emotional ·as they leave their 40 PU students instead of the . currently military posts worldwide. It now provides Scholarship, CDT Sonya Gick- MOWW home and "kids" at Intrax English participating 10-15. an occasion for cadets to meet socially, Savings Bond, CDTs Noel Kwiatkowski Institute, located in the first floor of Friday, March 28th was the last ses­ build esprit de corps, as well as receive and Dianne Bonise- Cecile B. Demille Graselli Hall. Widener has chosen not to sion , and for approximately the next hard-earned awards. award, CDT Samuel Morgan- DA renew Intrax's contract, so our school week, it will be time to pack and tie up Lieutenant Colonel Fritz, the presiding Superior Cadet award, & CDT Brett will become home to the 7th loose ends. Pendo and Nielson's primary officer of the dinner, opened with wel­ Boston- Sons of the American Revolution Pennsylvania Language Institute (PU). concern was the students. Pendo said come remarks and introductions. The award. Any student can be referred to Intrax. their job was to service our ., Many come from all over the world inter­ students .. .and place (them) in programs • • •• • J ~ : : ;!! ested in studying our language--some that suit their needs." And that's just what :. >... .:;.;;! want to learn English so they are able to is being taken care of. Miranda Hlmg, a .. ..,. , •• · c attend classes, while others come from graduate student persuing her MBA in

··~l....,·...q, , · .., foreign countries for a short time and then Human Resources said "I had to take a ...... -. .•,...... 1; ; return. The student takes a Toefl test, course in Intrax ... (it) has been very help­ .-L'u"·-tN•• ' which rates their aptitude in English. If ful, and has taken care of all their stu­ ·u· ... u · ::~;=! : the score is below 500, they are "condi­ dents. I feel very bad about them clos­ ·'U,' t-11."l" . tionally accepted," which means he/she is ing." !.t:. oj ... headed to Intrax. With no more than 14 in But the teachers are the ones who feel ..." ,' is: a class, classes run from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 as if they are leaving family. When asked d,t, :!! p.m. every day, but there is no credit what her feelings were on Intrax closing, ., . given. (Twenty-four hours of class per Pendo frowned. She said, "It's such a week is the standard amount.) Depending great staff--great teachers. I'm sorry we on how much help is needed, the student found such a great team and that we could spend anywhere from 3 months to a won' t exist anymore. It's difficult." :-: , ,, ~ .. .~ : i. ' .••.. ) ... , ...... !: ... ::~ .. ::: '. College Essays For Sale: ,a" _,_"',.". !t: ;!:::::::'., Is it Plagiarism Or IIlnspiration By Examplell? By Elizabeth Perry and on the schools that accepted them. College Press Service Authors must provide proof of admission and omit all proper names from their The deadline for law school is just a essays. Twenty-five dollars to $40 is the few weeks away, but your application going rate for essays from undergraduate still sits blank on your kitchen table. You schools; law school essays earn $40; think you have the grades, but- you don't while MBA essays take in $60 to $75. want to blow your chances by not getting In return, college applicants can buy the application exactly right- including customized packages through the mail, e­ the personal essay that's required. mail or fax, of five to IO essays, costing So, what do you do? If you're like a as little .as $ IO for undergraduate essays, growing number of prospective students, $20 for law schools, and up to $60 for you might be tempted to turn to the business schools. Students can choose Internet. IvyEssays, an Internet site head­ packag~s tailored' to their wishes, by MY ARMY ROOt SCHOlARSHIP ed by 28-year-old Williams College grad­ requesting essays from a particular uate Daniel Kaufman, offers to buy and . school, for example, or essays relevant to sell college essays written by applICants certalO interests and backgrounds. PDT ME IN TIlE HOSPrmL IMI' SUMMER. who already got into top-notch schools. Kaufman says his site has acquired more For a small fee, you, too, could own an than 1,000 essays since his site was con­ Army ROTC scholarships Army hospital, Hundreds admissions essay that was good enough ceived last fall. payoff twice, with money of nursing students win to get another student into Yale Law. The people at IvyEssays have heard Admissions officers and college guid­ criticism from all sides. Admissions offi- toward your education Army ROTC scholar­ ance counselors have scorned IvyEssays i:ers say the service undermines the goal for providing "cheat-~heets." · · But of the admissiQns process, which is to get and five weeks of nurs- Kaufman says because IvyI~ssays ships every year. You a c1earer-understanding of who their can­ . .. (www.ivyessays.com) is available to mil­ in didates are, and worse, it invites plagia­ mg expenence an can, too, Apply now! lions over the Internet, the service "levels rism. "It's too difficult to look at another the playing field for colleg'e applicants, making information more accessible and person's work, without adopting ideas affordable to everyone." that are not your 'own," says Michelle Students who have been accepted to Rogers, director of admissions at ARMY ROTC top colleges and graduate schools can Northwestern University's Kellogg earn anywhere from $25 to $75 for their THE SMARTEST COLLEGE COURSE YOU CAN TAlE compositions, depending on the content continued on page 7 Page 6 THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 ENTERTAINMENT Movie Review': Dr. Nielson's Bitter Battle Double Team with Paul McCartney

u. plloto dourtesy Columbia Pictures I The Beatles on stage in 1966, without Dr. Nielson. photo courtesy Capitol Records By Doug Ferguson justice, Quinn is sent to The Colony, a News Editor heaven for long retired spies where there By Skippy Shoehorn degree. He didn' t feel any hatred toward is no chance for escape and all family ties Entertainment Editor the band, but still thought in the back of Starring: Jean Claude Van Damme, are severed. his mind that McCartney had forced him Dennis Rodman,MickeyRourke After a nifty rehabilitation and escape Anyone on Widener's campus knows out because he felt threatened by hi s Running Time: 90 minutes from The Colony, Quinn enlists the help not to mention Paul McCartney's name musical ability. Rated:R for violence of an arms dealer named Yaz (Rodman) around Dr. Chris T. Nielson. Almost Years of jealousy and unpaid royalties Review: **112 to help rescue his wife and get Stavros. everyday he vents his bitter hatred toward finally got to Nielson. After the break-up Before you start reading, let me What entials is the usual buddy action the ex-BeatIe. This once prestigious eng­ of the band he decided to send explain some things about this movie, adventure complete with LOTS of broken lish professor has been reduced to wan­ McCartney a letter. Early in 1971, First of all, it is a little lower budget than glass and MANY explosions. The finale dering around campus, mumbling that Nielson wrote about his bitterness and The Saint or The English Patient. Yes, it is way too contrived and extremly dumb, "they 'took' the wrong BeatIe." also sent a demo for a song he had, called stars some of the worst actors known to but it works if you loose any intellegance Is this just some strange fixation that "I Despise Love Songs," to see what grace the silver screen (Van Damme and you have and just soak it in . Nielson has with McCartney? Or is there McCartney thought. According to an Rourke). Finally, this is the vehicle that Directed by Tsui Hark, who makes his something more to the story? Months inside source, McCartney dismissed the basketball bad boy Dennis Rodman American debut with this piece of cellu­ (okay, days) of research have uncovered song as "a load of hullabaloo." chose to make the jump from hardwood loid, and does an adequate job. Van the events that led to this ugly display of One day in 1976, Nielson was listen­ to Hollywood. The following movie Damme is his usual grunting and high emotion. Allow me to give you the ing to his radio and heard the new 'Paul review is for strict action junkies only, all kicking self who does more to impress us details ... McCartney and Wings' single, "Silly others can go out and see Fargo or some­ with his flexibility than with his acting Back in 1962, The Beatles were just Love Songs." It was an exact rip-off of thing: ability. Rodman, ~hose hair manages to about to hit it big. The band was playing the song he'd sent him five years earlier. Van Damme stars as Jack Quinn, the change color in eve~y new scene, makes to sell-out crowds everywhere they went. McCartney was quoted in an interview as worlds best anti-terrorist agent working numerous references to his basketball All the teenage girls loved John, Paul, saying, "This is the best song I've ever for some secret goverment agency. His career. His standout line is "You're cra­ George, Ringo, and Chris ' (?). Yes folks, written. It shows my musical brilliance well known adversary, Stavros (Rourke) zier than my hair stylist!" as he slam Chris Nielson was the fifth Beatie. After and proves that I was the most talented is one of the worlds most vile terrorists dunks some more bad guys. So in sum­ obtaining early demos, I took them to a Beatie." who just happens to enjoy amusement mary, if you like your heroes buff, your sound analysist who determined that it This was the final blow for Nielson, parks with his six year old son. After fail­ action dumb and the acting really BAD, was indeed Nielson playing the triangle and from that point on waged war against ing to capture Stavros and bring him to then go take on Double Team. on the first take of "Love Me Do." McCartney. He tried to take him to court, The Beatles continued gaining popu- but no lawyer would accept the case. larity in England, and the problems with­ They all said the same thing, "Yeah right, Movie Review: in the band surfaced. Apparently, Nielson, known as the 'Introspective like we believe you were in The Beatles!" Beatle,'was surpassing the band's fame at To this day no one even knows Grosse Point Blank a rapid rate. This did not brood well with Nielson was an early Beatles outcast. He the other members, and McCartney has given up trying to convince people of By Doug Ferguson mentor (Dan Akroyd) is trying to get voiced his opinion. According to one his brush with fame. Obviously Lennon News Editor Martin to join a union for hit men, com­ source, McCartney yelled, "I want him was unavailable for comment. plete with vacation dilYS and meetings. out of the bloody band now! He keeps McCartney and George Harrison would Starring:John Cusack, Dan Akroyd Now can you see the predicament facing chiming in and I loose the groove, man." and Minnie Driver this hired gun? also not comment on this story. I was able Lennon countered, "You just can't do Rated: R for violence, Language Complicating matters further is to contact Ringo Starr, but he couldn't that, mate. Triangle players aren' t easy to Review: *** Debbie (Minnie Driver), the girl Blank even confirm he was in The Beatles him­ come by." Do you remember your senior prom? self. ditched before the prom. After returning Eventually McCartney won over the Alas, Dr. Nielson is doomed to live the All your friends piled into a limosine, for his ten year high school reunion, other members of the band, and Nielson life of the unknown Beatie. He was even dressed up nice and ready to have a good Debbie still holds a small grudge against was booted from the band. Unfortunately, cut out of the eight hour telecast of The time on a night you will remember forev­ Martin, but reluctantly agrees to accom­ three weeks later The Beatles were signed Beatles Anthology. (It is rumored he can er. What happens if you did not go, or dis­ pany him to the dance while trying to fig­ to Capitol Records. Then they became be seen briefly in the beginning of the sappeared right after high school for that known as the 'Fab Four' and Nielson home video version, but I can't find him.) matter? This is the scenario for the new ure out the truth behind the bulletproof flew to America, dropped the accent and You can decide for yourself, but the facts action comedy Grosse Point Blank vest. The real reason Martin has returned enrolled in college. The Beatles became seem to point toward Nielson once being which opens in theaters next week. to his home-town is to complete his last the biggest rock band in history, while a member of 'The Fab Four.' Or was it Martin Blank (Cusack) is a profession­ rub out on a federal witness who has Nielson concentrated on getting his once 'The Fab Five?' al hitman, who travels the world killing made one to many enemies. for hire, ducking his mentor Dan Akryod, Directed by George Armitage, Grosse and battling. his conscience at the same Point Blank is a great movie. Cusack is time. After a messy operation, he decides both hilarious and ruthless as the hit man ~e:D1i~de:r: to lay low at his ten year high school trying to get out of the game alive, while renunion of all places, where he hopes to trying to win the heart of his first causal­ All S-tu..de~-t& ah.ou.l.d win back the girl he ditched on prom ity, Driver. With the right blend of action night. and humor, it is refreshing to watch, It seems that after high school, Blank much like last year's Get Shorty. If you joined the army and later became an like your action tough, your jokes funny, agent with the CIA. His shrink (Alan and the love story sappy, then give Arkin), out of fear of his own life, tel1s Grosse Point Blank a try, because even a Martin to find a new career. His former hit man deserves a second shot! Friday, April 4, 1997 THE DOME Page 7 ENTERTAINMENT Dan Horn: 'Widener University's-Jamniiii' .-An Extrao~dinary Comedian '97 Spring Carnival

By Binitha M. Special to The Dome

It's been a tradition for Widener to have an annual Spring Carnival every April. Well, guess what? It's that time again!! In the past, Spring Carnival s had live bands, BBQ picni cs ( for Widener students only) inflatable rides, novelties, photo buttons, tat­ too artists, recording booths. But never did Widener bring a 1500 sq. ft. LASER TAG game to our campus! This year is going to be the first! Widener Student Acti vities Committee tries to pick one day out of the year for the students to relieve stress and ki ck loose, and that day is April 26th! Widener is hosting it's annual Spring Carni val Saturday April 26, 1997 from 2 p.m.- 6 p.m. We will be fe aturing a vari ety of entertainment such as the 30 ft inflatabl e slide, the returning Gyroscope, Boun cy Box ing, Gl adiator Joust, 1500 sq. ft. LASER TAG, Hi-Ball Boun cy Basketball. An amazin g temporary tatt oo arti st, photo buttons that you and your fri ends can share, 2 recording booths that show your real talent, cotton cand y and popcorn that is made especiall y by a gourmet vender. Al so our very own OJ (WDNR) will be playin g continuous music favorites for every music taste, and much much more! Top Ten Reasons why you should attend: 10. It's Saturday afternoon-PARTIES DON'T START UNTIL IIPM! ! 9. You are tired of studying! ! 8. Your roommate is getting on your nerves-you need the break!! 7. You need the fresh air because of the high ri sk of secondary smoking coming from your room! ! 6. You enjoy going to carnivals but you'll enjoy thi s one more because you don't have to pay to get on the rides!! 5. The Saturday cartoons are finished by 12PM!! 4. You feel much, much better after Friday's hangover!! 3. You wake up in the lawn (after Friday's big party ), so why not check it out since you are already there!! 2. You have nothing else to do (you and I both kn ow it), so why not check it out!! I. IT'S FREE-WHAT THE HECK!!

We are al so looking for people to get involved with Spring Carnival. So if you are FUN, ENERGETIC. and INTERESTED call the SAC offi ce at X4411 and leave your name and number. All of those who help will be gi ven a free Spring Carnival Tee-Shirt!

By Tanikia Phillips Arizona children's television show. In Special to The Dome 1987, he decided to try his hand at stand­ up comedy and by 1990 discovered the BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY Watch out, Widener! Dan Horn is unique combination of comedy and pup­ going to rock this campus! He is not just petry and began to tour college campuses. another comedian, he happens to be a Seven years later, Horn finds himself as ventriloquist. His comedic humor is built one of the most popular and energetic around puppets that he makes. Horn's comedians on the college and university Create your own business comedy relates to college students circuit. through the puppets. According to Sharon Horn will be performing at Widener *FTC/IRS approved . Heider, associate director of student on Saturday, April 19, 1997 at 8:00 p.m. activities, Widener is lucky to have Dan in Alumni Auditorium. The show is *No limitations to your success Horn come to campus. FREE to students, faculty and staff who Dan Horn got his start performing at show a valid Widener id. *Control your own future his alma mater, Arizona State University. Check out next week's Dome for more In 1984, Horn performed on a local on Dan Horn! *Work at your own pace *Your earnings will be directly Essays for Sale proportional to your effort continued from page 5 We are an organization dedicated to build­ School of Management. Indeed, IvyEssays is not the first pub­ "I am terrified that this will force lication to provide writing samples to col­ ing your future. We are · ~60king for serious admissions officers to get rid of the lege applicants. Thousands of books on essay," says Sharon Cooper, college guid­ individuals. . to join our ' rapidly expanding ance counselor at the North Shore the subject are available in stores and Country Day School in Winnetka, Ill. libraries. Some examples include: "100 interactive network. Interviews· will be con­ "It's the only chance a child has to use his College Essays," compiled by husband ducted by ..appointment to determine your or own voice, to present themselves and-wife team Christopher and Gigi , ' through something other than test scores Gorges and members of Harvard and transcripts!" qualificatio~s. ~ , University Alumni; and "Essays That Kaufman says his site does not ~ . ~ ~ '"'" encourage plagiarism, but provides a Worked," a series of books, each directed sense of the writing ability and level of at a different type of school applicant. thinking required by college and univer­ So, what's the difference? sity programs. "I think people fear the power of the "We provide models," says 27-year­ Ameri'cari:, ] 'nteractive ,Network Internet," Kaufman says, "because it can .. •. • • 1. " • old IvyEssays' managing director Helen reach out worldwide. But, once they Lee, also a Williams College graduate. "It (~10l ~ 325~688.3 . is then up to the student to take what he adjust to the idea of the incredible amount or she can and formulate their own appli­ of information now available every­ cation." where. I think they might relax." Page 8 THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 WIDENER "Viva Old Main" New Food Service Coming to Widener Eleventh Hour Contract Signing Brings Fast Food to campus

fact about our former president is that he By Cher Horowitz french fries dripping in ketchup. and Elvis Presley were childhood friends. Staff Writer Administration also noted that with They corresponded over the years and the enough support, a Bain's Deli will be renovations at MacMorland center have In a stunning announcement early yes­ opening next to the Pioneer Pantry on uncovered a steal box containing letters terday, Widener administration released May 7. written back and forth between the two this statement in a memo: "Due to poor And that's not all the good news! The friends. The letters detail the plot to fake organizational skills, we failed to renew cafeteria will now be open until 1:59:32 , Presley's death and give him a home in our contract with Aramark by the dead­ a.m., at which point the employees will the Dome on top of Old Main. Moll line, which fell on April 1. The students lay down in sleeping bags on the cold tile offered his friend, "Elvy" as he called him and faculty, however, should not worry, floor and get two or three hours of sleep. in the letters, a residence in the Dome in for we will soon have remedied the prob­ Breakfast begins at 4 a.m.! (Careful not to exchange for Presley's services as the bell lem." wake the employees--or trip over them! ) ringer. Moll assured Presley only he and How, you ask? Taking immediate Student reaction of the above points his successor to the presidency (when the action to find a new contractor so there was extremely positive. Gul Lible, a time came) would be aware of his pres­ would be food available, Widener signed, senior basket weaving major, said ''I'm ence. at midnight last night, a new contract thrilled. That's all. Just thrilled." As a An unnamed source has informed our with two multi-million dollar companies, closing statement, one administrator staff that Presley has lived a content, tone McDonald's and Taco Bell. That's right-­ warned the student body: "Take advan­ deaf life on top of Old Main for the past starting April 30, students will have their tage of these opportunities. They proba­ twenty years. His living space is similar fill of tacos, burritos, Big Mac's, or bly won't last past May 8 or so." to a dorm room, complete with microfridge and television. President Moll, and now President Bruce are the Sp:rbag BHzzard only ones in contact with Presley. He is provided with food courtesy of Aramark F'41opa Da:fP1'odUa and occasionally McDonalds bought in by President Bruce. Presley rings the By Lori Townsend didn 't want to see anymore of this white courtesy Aramark bells at ten of the hour and on the hour. Staff Writer stuff. The students who hate it, hated it By Kathleen Gallagher The songs that he plays at ten of the hour­ Students returned to campus to find even more for ruining the end of the go unrecognized by the students and fac­ Staff WriterlElvis Fan snow falling and on the ground. semester. Freshman, Andrea Wiggington ulty because they are Presley's pitiful Remarkably, the temperature was able to said, "I hate the snow to begin, with along The year is 1977, polyester is fashion­ tone deaf attempts to recreate some of his ' drop significantly in 24 hours from the with the cold, so I am just going to stay in able, most of the current sophomore class favorite songs. Such favorites as "Are mid to upper 60's to the 30's. A Noreaster my room until it is warmer and there is no of Widener University is being born and You Lonesome Tonight" and "Hound pounded the northeast, including longer any more snow falling. " Christian Elvis Presley is fat and dead; or so the Dog" are butchered by Presley regularly. Philadelphia, all the way down to king would like us to believe. Recent To add to Presley's convenience and com­ P. Chace said, "I normally like the snow, investigations have un covered the star­ fort , the renovations to the MacMorland Baltimore,Maryland. Many students but I did not appreciate the snow that fell tling truth behind Elvis Presley's "death." center include plans ~r extensive under­ were not able to come back to the campus on the first day back from Easter break Elvis Aaron Presley was born in 1935 ground tunneling. until Tuesday because parts of state high­ because I had to shovel snow in in Tupelo Mississippi. The young Presley Presley has kept up with current ways were closed. Connecticut. " was obsessed with music. His dream was events and was saddened by the marriage Students brought spring and summer Hopefully, this will be the last of the to be a rock and roll singer and superstar. of his daughter Lisa Marie to Michael clothes back since the temperatures were snow for awhile, but if there is more Even though rock and roll barely existed, Jackson. He was not coaxed out of hiding in t~e high 60's when they left on winter to come, just think about what the ----- Presley held tight to his dream. Selma by it, however, because of his stamp. If Thursday. Many students were unpre­ future winters could be like--especially in Mayer, Presley's third grade music the United States Postal Service were to pared and surprised to see the snow. Even areas that don't normally receive much­ teacher told The Dome, "Elvis was a nice discover Presley alive they would be the students who normally enjoy snow snowfall. boy but I was pressured by the PTA to forced to revoke his stamp. Presley is kick him out of the band; swiveling hips pleased with the stamp and did not want have no place in a Memphis marching band." to jeopardize it, even for his own daugh­ ter. He did, however, enlist the help of his _( >:-' !lI1-4(f:U- r -.I··f,· ~.~,Jtl~nft r i ·'?l!'J It was Presley's obsession with music '" ' ~,.~.,.. . ~ if friend Clarence Moll. Moll attended the Go that lead him to fake his death in 1977. c; r;UNS Ui.1I.VC OWU!'. INC. ~ Early .that year Presley's weight gain wedding and gave Lisa Marie money and began to affect his hearing. He became a the name of a good divorce lawyer at victim of a rare tone deafness diseaseoto­ "Elvis's request. Presley was pleased Are you interested in entering the exploding field of Information Technology? sclerosis. The disease occurs when an when she finally broke off the marriage. CoreTech Consulting Group, Inc. an Information Technology consulting firm special­ overabundance of fat cells go "crazy" and The discovery of Elvis Presley in the izing in the implementation of new technologies in large organizations, has developed attack the tone neurons in the brain. Dome was a shock to all, but The Dome a training program to put you on the path to success as a Help Desk Analyst. Presley was unable to deal mentally with staff would like to extend warmest and the loss of his rhythm and began to plot belated welcomes to our new found Help Desk Analysts are an integral part of the Information Technology infrastruc­ his "death. ' guest. Elvis, if you are reading this be ture of corporations, helping those companies to maximize their invesbnent in tech­ It has been thought that Elvis died assured that this campus will continue to nology. Help Desk Analysts provide telephonic and deskside support to end users, under mysterious circumstances at his be a safe haven for you and any other helping answer computer hardware and software questions and troubleshooting prob­ estate, Graceland, until now. Thorough lems. As a Help Desk Analyst you will get broad exposure to the Information in vestigation has uncovered a Widener rock star who is not really dead. The Technology industry, making it a great launching point for your career! . connection to this strange tale. In 1960 media and your fans will never find you Presley performed at what was Widener here, we can all keep a secret; really we The training program is offered in a flexible eve~nglSaturday schedule. The cur­ swear, and it's not like people really read College. Clarence R. Moll was the riculum includes an overview of the strategiC value of the support function plus an in­ the newspaper anyway. President at the time and a little known depth review of the tools and technology of support. communications, and problem solving skills. Several hours of home study and computer based training are required. r - - - _ __~ ._ . ___ _ Best of all, the training is..fm! Upon successful completion of the training program, : 1996...... -..".r..- Y"I~+II...... _." til CoreTech will work to place you at one of our clients in an hourly position 8$ a Help If you get this booklet, 6,o · · ... "" t...... _' -...... >t...... >: , -~::: :-.:..~ Desk Analyst. If you are not placed by CoreTecb within a three month period, you may you won't need a form. ,\,,\1"~/, ~2:~ use your training at your discretion with no further obligation. Just a phone. .~~ ~~ . : .~~ Ei"'.'::" ! Qualifications: Outgoing, customer oriented personality. Basic computer skills. This year, "illiops will file Iheir tat relurns by ,ir",, ­ .. . - .. ! Q I usir.g Tele.File, fret service frolll the IRS. The ul/ h euy I and refu.df are fast. Cheele rour m~il for a TeleFile book let . I To find out more information about this exciting career opportunity, please phone

~~ De!: ;! ' l rn~ nl 01 tr.e Trm",,;,y or fax/email your resume to Ms MimiDurning, College Recruiter, CoreTech ~&l11 Internal Revenue Service iii TeleFile Consulting Group, Inc. Phone: 888-322-1881, x 36451l:ax (bill) 337-2333IEmail: hit p:l lwww. j rs . ustreas. gov Irs tree . It's fasl. It works. mdurning @coretech-group.com Page 9 THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 WIDENER

IT'S N'"OT A.. :BI:R.I> O:R. A.. :PT4A.N':E. IT'S ~:E-:BO:P:P, T~:E COlVI:ET!

By Doris S. Hayward other words, look at it now, and look long Staff Writer and hard, because you'll never see it Stardate 4-4-1997: During the first HALE-BOPP again. week of February, the Hale-Bopp comet In addition, Augensen provided some became visible to Earthlings, and it was "need-to-know" details about comets in out of this world. general. He recalled facts saying, comets As CClllegc students gathered their are made up of gas, ice, dust, and solids. belongings preparing to hop home for They are usually 20-30 miles in diameter Easter break, Hale-Bopp hung high in the speeding through space at 20 miles a sec­ sky over Widener University. ond. No matter how close it appears to Through report s and broadcasts, news­ be, Professor Augensen assuredly pro­ gatherers alerted the population about the claimed, "The comet is not in the atm os­ coll osal comet approaching. Without phere. It 's more than 120 million miles doubt, astronomy students and professors away." Therefore, Hale-Bopp is literally anticipated its arrival. They claimed this out of this world. sighting as an astronomical event. Previous statements grav itated more If you are like many students, you're casual comet conversati on. ~Aug ensen probably wondering, "What's the big deal quoted statisti cs saying 80% of Halley's with ' Bopp'?" comet consists of water. Afterwards, he Well , Professor Harry Augensen who provided a summary about a newborn teaches astronomy and physics at belief in astronomy. He said: "A number Widener, gave three reasons why this of astronomers recently came to the con­ comet is such a phenomena. clusion th at at least part of the earth 's First, Augensen exclaimed, "It 's one water masses came from comet impacts of the largest comets; it's much bigger in early existence." When the question than Halley's." Secondly, he described came up, What would happen if Hale­ the comet as a fuzzy star with an extend­ Bopp collided with the earth right now? ed tail shining brighter than alm ost any­ Augensen answered wi th a serious face thing in the sky, in cluding constellations. and tone, "It would kill us all. The He said , ':Sirus is the brightest star in the impact would end life as we know il. " universe, and it has about the same mag­ For further informati on , Augensen nitudc as 'Bopp' ." Finally, the professor suggested Widener science on the explained that comets orbit the sun just Internet. like planets. Orbits are imaginary path­ Marty Schultz, Widener's technical ways that may send "space bodies" float­ instrument speciali sts set up pages on the ing through the solar system for decades, Web site containing data and pictures centuri es, or millineums. In this case, Hale-Bopp travels a 4,000 year orbit. In

Snack Bar

continued from page 3

Overall the snack bar is one of the most popular places to go hang out on campus, simply because it is convenient to all and food can always be had. Brian's vision of a three story establishment is a wonderful idea and would be sure to attract many students, at all times. Even if Brian and his family could not pull off such a plan, a snack bar could be installed quite easily in the currently-under-con­ struction MacMorland center. In need not be anything pretentious, and does not need pool tables or the like, and it would still be a big draw. Any other additions would make it truly outstanding. With the recent trend toward using a state-of-the-art student center to attract students, I believe Widener can ill afford not to include such a plan into MacMorland center. A simple snack bar would be very easy to construct and, if allotted room, could grow in the future as funds became available. It could be run by Aramark, eliminating that argument from the equation, and would be a response to students who have been clamoring for some type of fast food establishment in the new Mac Center. Such a facility could only increase the attraction of Widener's new student cen­ ter. I urge all parties involved to give the matter strong consideration.

Respectfully, Joe Tacchino Page 10 THE DOME Friday, April 4, 1997 SPORTS l- Lackluster Phillies Anti-Athlete 'of the Week

continued from page 12 Second base is filled by Mickey Major League level. If he were a phenom, --~~\. Morandini. Solid defensively, he has we would know it by now. Unfortunately, ~,\.,­ ~~\~, never put together a couple of solid offen­ there is no way of knowing how he will IQ, . ~ \,:.~~ sive seasons. He usually hits for the fare this season, but most likely, it will ~.~ league average with no power whatsoev­ not be what we were used to from Lenny ~u er. The shortstop this season, Kevin Dykstra in his prime. Leftfield is occu­ Stocker, is an absolute joke. This guy pied by Greg Jefferies. Jefferies has never could not hit himself out of a paper bag. been able to live up to his potential, and As a result, his defense suffered last sea­ this season, playing at a position with son. Expect a lot of errors as shortstop which he still is not comfortable, will be this year. Third base belongs to an no exception. Hopefully, he will be able unproven prospect, yet we all know how to get himself together and be a produc­ Phillies prospects usually turn out- they tive player at the plate and in the field, wind up fizzling out in the second season. but he has never been satisfied with his Scott Rolen has been termed the Mike situation. He will probably not give this Schm(dt of the future, but with only 15 hopeless season with the PhiIIies much of homeruns last season, most of which was a sincere effort. By Princess Leia Solo "Ima? Who's Ima?" Last year, scandal rocked Bumm's life spent in the minors, so there is not much So there you have it. Sounds like a bad Cher Horowitz when she received a phone caII from the of a similarity. dream to me. Actually, more like a night­ Staff Writers drug counselor here at Widener. Bumm Moving to the outfield, there is a mare. It will be a long, painful summer at Ima Bumm, the anti-athlete of the recalls the incident with regret and tremendously bright area in right. Danny Veterans Stadium this year. There is a week, is a junior Oragami major who shame. "Someone was concerned that I Tartabu II , the Phillies only significant slight chance the veterans will display hopes to conquer the difficulties of mak­ had been taking to many Vivarin. But I free-agent signing of the off-season, will some of their youthful form and the ing a paper eagle before she graduates. said, "C'mon! It was only once, and when show his prowess in the field and at the young players will be able to fill in the She. lives in a storage room on the second was the last time there was an all-night plate as the Phillies 1997 clean-up hitter. gaps. Nevertheless, this team is one Let us pray that he does not get injured, floor of the Freshman Studies Building Brady BUllch marathon on the tube?" which is in transition and undergoing a or all hope for a fourth place finish (at and follows a strict daily routine. She This dependence robbed Bumm of her rebuilding project. PhiIIies management best) is lost. He has the potential to hit sleeps until I p.m., and then prepares a chance at becoming an athlete. Recruited will not admit it, but this particular team 35-40 homeruns, drive-in over I \0 runs, hearty lunch. After two bowls of Sugar for Widener's folk-dancing team from her was not assembled to win a lot of games and hit for a high average. But with little Lumps cereal, a creme-filled donut, and a high school in Sioux City, Iowa, she had protection in the lineup, opposing pitch­ because its only main purpose is business glass of chocolate milk, Bumm heads to high hopes of making All-American by ers will not have to throw many fastballs. as usual in the realm of Philadelphia the couch to watch television for the next her sophomore year. Her dreams were The result: a lackluster season for the baseball under Bill Giles. Perhaps the four hours. Bumm stated, "The problem shattered, however, when news of her Phillies is their only offensive hope. rookies and young players of this club is that it just sucks so much energy out of dependency reached the ears of Coach Centerfield is occupied by Wendell will have good enough seasons that they me to press the buttons on the remote Moe Ron . He said, "I was astonished. To Magee, Jr. Not exactly a household will be able to sign with other clubs in the controL" Bumm's favorite time of the be on this team, you've gotta have hutz­ name, nor will he ever be. Magee is off-season and leave the Phillies, a team day, however, is dinnertime. She takes pah." She really would have helped bring Lenny Dykstra's replacement. A solid whose owners do not,want to win, behind advantage of the unlimited access to the folk-dancing to the front burner. But, player in the minors, he is unproven at the them. delicious cafeteria food, where she loads after all, we must abide by rules. Number up on Sloppy Joe's and french fries one, never eat onions before practice. smothered in ketchup. Bumm is so tired Number two, no drinking before the c1og­ after eating and walking the one block to dancing segment, and coming in at a her room that she hits the sheets around Hale-Bopp Hale-Bopp Comet close third is no druggies allowed." eight o'clock. --- When faced with the realization that continued from page 9 Facts On-Line But what does she do during the her last year of school is approaching, week? When asked about her class sched­ Bumm decided to offer her new found ule, Bumm was surprised. "I have class­ philosophy on life. "There comes a time about the "bopping comet of 1997." es? Who the heII signed me up for class­ Along with Schultz and other faculty es?" Proud of her .02 G.P.A., she studies in every mature person's life when they members, the Associate Dean, Lawrence Current Magnitude: -0.9 to -0.4 must make a decision between slacking Earth's Closest Approach: an average of 20 minutes per week. When Panek, contributed a few photos, to these these reporters asked one ofBumm's pro­ off and getting the job done. Fortunately, pages. March 22, 1997 - I'm not a mature person." Sun's Closest Approach: fessors for his view on her work, he said, April 1, 1997 Current Distance from the Earth: THE DOME COMES TO 126.3 million miles away QUICK STADIUM Current Distance from the Sun: .,. 85.0 million miles away By Jay and Silent Bob Not only will the stadium play host to Staff Hoodlums football and track, but there will be a For cosmic informational purposes, unique option of turning the hemp field pages are linked to other sites. How many of you have ever been to into ice. Why ice you say... well, where One of the links mentioned that the Quick Stadium behind the Schwartz else is the new hockey team going to Athletic Center? If you have been to a comet was discovered on July 23, compete? It is the God-given right of Pioneer Football game or track meet, then 1995, by Alan Hale of New Mexico every Pioneer team to have equal and and Thomas Bopp of Arizona. you have probably noticed that the stadi­ adequate athletic equipment and the new So visit the Wolfgram Memorial um as it is now is without a roof. This is dome will satisfy this need. Library and access the science site. going to change, thanks in part to the popular song, "The Roof is on Fire" by The address is: alternative sensation, The Bloodhound FREE T-SHIRT [ An~\fllers to Crossword I http://www.science.widener.edu. Gang. Not only will the fans be satisfied, + 51000 , , Click on "Finder charts for Hale but the players will be able to compete in Bopp." Afterwards, check out climate-controlled comfort. Credit Card fund-raisers "IMAGES IN THE SKY." Since football is the premiere sport here at Widener and receives the most for fraternities, sororities When leaving the Wolfgram, stand on! funding of all the varsity sports, it is only & groups. Any campus the platform and look above New Hall! appropriate that they get the best athletic organization can raise in order to get a clear view of Hale - • advantage. Complete with cushioned up to $1000 by earning Bopp. seats, Jumbo-tron scoreboard and indoor a whopping $5.00/ natural hemp field, the $25 million addi­ If this sight interests you, attend the VISA application. "Observing Session," look at Hale - tion to quick Stadium will be the envy of Bopp and the planet Mars. teams from all around the MAC confer­ Call 1-800-932-0528 ext. 65 Observations will take place on the ence. There is already talk of the stadium Qualified callers receive 5th floor of Kirkbride at 8 p.m. sharp. hosting the Superbowl for the year 1999. FREE T-SHIRT. Friday, April 4, 1997 THE DOME Page 11 WIDENER

[ THE Crossword

ACROSS 1 Voting coalition 5 Zsa Zsa 10 Med. sch. subject 14 Italian currency 15 Thaalrical presentation 16 Bright star 17 Steady 18 Wilder and Si5kel 19 Clip 20 Distributes 22 Fold 24 Cowt (lividers 25 Ache 26 Armada 28 Army ranK 31 - Farrow 32 Happen again 34 Bird's we·lpon 36 Singing lIoice 38 Grades 40 Roof overhang 41 Noblemen 43 Takes a break 45 Goller's gadget 46 Coach 48 Change 50 Pluto or auto B Nalive metal end 9 Scamp 51 Elm or oak 10 Feelers 52 Stalely dance I 1 Asta's mistress 55 Treacherou5 12 Ram- siluation 13 Mild 59 Pedestal figure 21 Swerve 60 Dwelling . 23 Melee 62 Faction 25 Skin openings 63 --.. trap for 26 Meal cut A..I1s~ers 64 Ire 27 Afterward 65 Ireland 28 Prettier E."..-en..1;s••• 66 European river 29 Gladden OI'1. 67 Pries 30 Romeo. e.g. Movie: Daylight April 4 & 6 at 8 p.m. 68 Germ 31 Atlas item :Page Movie: The Preacher's Wife April 10th at 9 p.m. 33 Insertion mark 10 DOWN 35 Wedding Scenes from "A Raisin in the Sun" and other plays at Crozer Hall, April 3-6. I Extorted money announcement April 5: Black Student Union Fashion Show, in Alumni Auditorium, 7:30-9:30 p.m. from word 2 Exist 37 Prophetic For TIckets contact Nate Parker, 490-7356, or Marchia Roberts at 490-7672. $5 for 3 Hershiser of 39 Beginners show, $7 for show and party baseball 42 Father April 7: 3-5 p.m. Science Diyision Undergraduate Colloquium, Kirkbride 108 4 Dog 44 Killed 5 Ambitious one 47 Patriot. - Hale 52 Feel the loss of 56 Grow weary April 8 &9: Society of Hospitality Management dinner: "A Florida Sampler," Heinz 6 Mimes 49 Annoys 53 Thought 57 McClurg of TV Dining Room 5:30-8 p.m, . 7 Vereen and 5 I 'We're 011 -\he 54 Part of n.b. 58 Split Franklin Wizard .. : 55 Embraces 61 Yoko- April 14: 5-7 p.m., Business Dining Seminar, Heintz Dining Room, ACN. Guest Speaker: Lynne Tulley, speaking about The Professional Edge. Dinner will be served, professional dress required. Cost: $3 for meal plan students, and $6 for non-meal plan students. Reservation required. Sign up at CAPS office. April 16, 1st Annual Sports Day, Alumni Aud, Noon-4:30 p.m. SPO:rt;S••• HOROSCOPES Baseball April 5 at Lebanon Valley, Ip.m. April 7 at Swarthmore, 3:30 p.m. April 9 against Beaver, 3 p.m. By Kathy Gallagher down around you this week. April 10 at Del.Valley, 3 p.m. Staff Astrologist LIBRA September 24-0ctober 23 Softball Avoid advances from piano April 5 against Elizabethtown 1 p.m. ARIES March 21- movers. They are only out to April 8 agai.nst Lebanon Valley 3 p.m. April 20 hurt you. Women's Lacrosse Pianos and anvils April 5 against Susquehanna, 1 p.m. cause trouble for April 8 at PhiIla.Textile 4 p.m. you. Avoid tall SCORPIO October 24- April 10 at Washington 4 p.m. buildings this November 22 Men's Tennis week. Buy a strong rope if you April 5th at Lenanon Valley, 1 p.m. are moving pianos. April 9 against Ursinus, 3:30 p.m. TAURUS April Even accidental murder April 10 against Eastern, 4 p.m. 21-May 21 is a crime. G2If Watch out for April 4 against Philla.Pharmacy/SwarthmoreIMuhlehberg 1 p.m. falling objects. SAGITTARIUS April 7 at Swarthmore/Pennsylvania 1 p.m. Heavy things November 23- April 11 at Moravian Invitational 1 p.m. falling from the December 21 • P"., sky are in your You will find your true future. love. Don't be excited, R.eD'J.in..de.rs•• :· _ however, your love will A gold pierced earring was found outside of Admissions/Registar Building. Please can GEMINI May 22- soon killed by a piano. Mrs. Rampmeyer in Vice President June 21 Stay away from open win­ CAPRICORN December 22- dows. Someone is out to get January 20 March Madness -Final--...... - I you. Your life is perfect this week. Enjoy it, because next week an Aries you are close CANCER June 22-July 23 to will die beneath an anvil. had a ·surprise-for the rest of the nation, You are drawn to anvils this week. Resi'st . '/~ ,<; , • defeating.. .. three of the Number one ••• :,; ~ I 11,;.,"". . /. the urge to drop things out of windows, it AQUARIUS January 21-February 19 is illegal. It cement shoes for you if you aren't care­ ful. Be extra nice to your gangster LEO July 24-August 23 friends. Migraine headaches plague you this week. Avoid any Cancer friends. PISCES February 20-March 20 Put off moving that piano until next VIRGO August 24-September 23 week. Spend time visiting friends who Buy yourself a helmet. Thin~s are falling are sick or hurt. rdyt: I':: III&;; LlUIVII!;" rIIUGY, "'til II .. , 1>1>1' SPORTS

~TI1Iltre or mt IItt( Another'Lackluster Season in Store for Phillies Fans

By Jim German three starters in the rotation. I hate to say Special to The Dome it, but these guys are already washed up. Mike Grace, who provided some hope Many recent Phillies teams have last season, was rocked in spring training proven to be somewhat disheartening. and has led many to question his value. ··Try not to be too optimistic for the 1997 The probable number five starter, Bobby season. The Phils began their grueling Munoz, has not been healthy in a while, pregame schedule this past Tuesday and but was never all that great when he was the seemingly insatiable desire of the healthy. Good, solid pitching is perhaps Philadelphia front office to assemble the most important factor in a team's suc­ inadequate teams is. once again quite cess. Unfortunately, the Phillies do not apparent. Do not expect the Phillies to have enough of it. Ignoring the other win more than 70 games this year, which pitchers for a moment, even if Schilling means (other than the fact that they are a were to win all of his starts, a highly MELISSA KELLAM sorry excuse for a professional baseball unlikely event to begin with, the Phillies team) that they will would only be looking at thirty wins. lose close to 100 Reliance upon one pitcher to carry a staff games. You say I may is bad baseball and especially bad man­ be rushing to judge­ agement. It may be somewhat comforting ment. Well, let's to know that the Phils have what is con­ take a gander. sidered to be one of the best closing com­ th~ , Freshman Steps Up to Plate ..~ \ One glance at binations in the National League in Ken the Phillies start­ Ryan and Ricky Bottalico, but these guys By Dana Gubitosa constantly push us forward." -. ing lineup this will get a lot of work in early innings, a -' Sports Editor The Biology/Pre-Med major acknowl­ season reveals thereby negating their roles as closers, edges that as a freshman, her goals are the shocking because the starting pitching will not hold Freshman Melissa Kellam may be new unclear. . When asked about her career reality: this team up for too long. to Widener and its softball team, but her plans, Kellam says, "I don't know. I just does not deserve to After the horrendous starting pitching, presence is already being felt. Batting know I've always wanted to be a doctor. 'ay with teams like one must turn to the starting infield. third in the lineup and racking up an early Of what, I haven't decided." Her season 'le Braves, Marlins, Catching this season is Mike Leiberthal. season batting average around the .400 goals are a little clearer and and to-the­ 1r Yankees. There Some people say he is ready and he did mark, her bat is her weapon. Kellam went point. "All I want is to play well and have i 4~ " . was one major have a good spring, but he is young and 7 for II in the last four games and is con­ a good season." ;A .free age.nt sign- unproven in the majors. His lack of expe­ fident in her hitting ability. Apparently, .so Kellam graduated from Laurel Senior ~ ~j rience in being able to handle experi­ is her coach Fred Dohrmann, who uses High School in Laurel, Delaware, where Phil's Ace, Curt Schilling I mg dunng the F======'=::::::;;;:::::::S;~5Phillies off-sea- enced pitchers will be a severe weakness Kellam as a designated hitter when she ______ro_u,_'''~)'_~_an_ . O_._G'_am~1 she lettered at the Varsity level for four L. son. One. That's at the beginning and down the stretch (not doesn 't start at second base. years. She plans to play for Widener all all. Even though Lee Thomas and Bill that it will matter by that point in the sea- Kellam takes great pride in how her four years as well, even though she is Giles got an excellent player in signing team has come together so early in the determined not to look past t~e next game Danny Tartabull, they really have no season. Florida proved to be quite a learn­ on the schedule. other proven players, with the exception ing experience for the Lady Pioneers, and , of Curt Schilling, who are not expend­ when they returned, they were a force to Kellam and the Lady Pioneers' .next able. The loss of Jim Eisenreich to the be reckoned with. "We have a lot of challenge will come on Saturday the 5th, strong players, on and off the bench," when they face Elizabethtown in a double Marlins and Benito Santiago to the Blue Jays has left an already meager lineup on says Kellam. "We have strong leaders that header at home at 3 p.m. a respirator. One good pitcher, a couple ..---- good relievers, and one good outfielder, SOFTBALL CONTINUES no matter how good they are, cannot carry a team for an entire season. The Phillies will falter and they will falter WINNING WAYS severely. ("ollrt /!.\"y PJll/noO-C ram) The starting rotation is hideous. --Back to Back victories boost Lady Pioneers over .500 Schilling is the number one starter, as he son). Playing first base is Rico Brogna. should be. After him, however, we must He batted a lackluster .. 255 for the Mets By Paul Ivanowski Widener got a big lift from Freshman close our eyes and try not to get too last year with seven homeruns and the Staff Writer Lissy Kellam who went 7-11. last week scared about how many losses this team Phillies are counting on him to hit 15-20 including going 2-2 against both will have this season. Mark Portugal and homeruns this season. Enough said . The Lady Pioneers softball team had a Susquehanna and Chestnut Hill. Both Mark Leiter, respectively, both in their highly successful week suffering only victories for the Lady Pioneers. Kellam mid-thirties, are the number two and continued on page 10 one loss and winning three, raising their leads the team in Batting Average at overall record to 9-8 for the year, I-I in .474, slugging percentage .632, and on con ference. base percentage at .692. The Pioneers were led by the pitching Presently the Lady Pioneers offense of Nicole Dougherty who finished the has been in high gear with four players THE LAST SWIM TEAM ARTICLE week 2-0 giving up 5 runs in 14 innings batting at or above .400 and three more pitched. Dougherty takes over the team over .300. lead in wins with 4, winning percentage With less than a month to go in the .667 and strike outs with 16. season, hopefully Coach Dohrmann and By Doug Ferguson have been named to the 1997 MAC All Sophomore Marissa Lee got the win his Lady Pioneers can keep their winning Staff Writer Academic team. Emmett is a business against Chestnut Hill pitching 6 1/3, giv­ streak going and capture a spot in the major with a GPA of 3.445 and Marino is ing up 3 runs on 7 hits to record the win. MAC playoffs. I swear to all of you that this is the last a criminal justice major with a 3.62 GPA. ------, swim team article of the year. Although To be nominated, each athlete must have the season has been over for almost a ARIZONA IS WILDEST at least a 3.2 GPA or better, must be at month now, many events have transpired least a sophomore and a significant con­ that are worthy of mentioning. First of OF WILDCATS tributor to their respective teams. On the all, Coach Bob Piotti was awarded Coach By Paul Ivanowski onship. (UCLA 1995) of the Year again, which makes it two Women's team, three ladies made acade­ Staff Writer The difference in the game was at the years in a row for the Head swim team mic honors. Senior Captain Laura free-throw line where Arizona went 34 honcho. Also worthy of mention are sev­ Contini, a psychology major is graduat­ Coach Lute Olson and the Arizona for 41, while Kentucky only shot 9 of 17. eral Widener Swim Team members that ing with a 3.73 GPA. Junior nursing Wildcats won their first NCAA Men's This contributed to Arizona outscoring have excelled in both the pool and in the major LeeAnn Nurek received a 3,649 Basketball Title with a thrilling 84-79 Kentucky 10-5 in the extra session. classr~om, achieving high status in the and finally sophomore Patty Stagliano, victory over defending National Arizona was led by Tournament MVP MAC conference. who majors in M.tS. rounds out the list Champions Kentucky. Arizona also Miles Simon with 30 points. On the Men's team, Sophomore Mark with a 3.496 GPA. Congratulations to all becomes the second Pac-IO school in Scott Padgett kept the leg weary Emmett and Senior Captain Rich Marino those who have received recognition. three years to win the national champi- continued on page 12