ISSUE 1624 FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016

The Student Newspaper of Imperial College London

Savages before How does the left feel breakfast about free speech?

PAGE 22 MUSIC PAGE 5 COMMENT

Rowers thrown out of hotel for partying too hard Venue bars non-medic boat club after accusations of damage and disorder

Grace Rahman “business relationship” with Imperial Editor-in-Chief College may now be in danger, and that college would be informed of One the matter “to make them aware of behaviour did not improve they the behaviour of their students”. student was would be ejected from the venue. The club has now been temporarily The hotel accuses students of suspended by the union. damaging equipment, bringing This comes just one week after the accused of alcohol and consuming it in the medics boat clubbed were stopped ast Saturday, Imperial “vomiting all over [the] manager hotel which is not allowed, and at Dover on their annual trip to College Boat Club’s when he was explaining to you leaving bar bills unpaid. At 10pm, Belgium for being too drunk. Some “vomiting annual party ended early that the function was going to be two hours earlier than planned, the had port bottles taped to their arms when students were stopped due to the behaviour”. hotel management turned on the as P&O ferries decided to deny all over [the] chucked out for bad behaviour. The party was held at the swanky lights and threw the students out. them passage due to being “drunk LIn an email seen by FELIX sent Ambassador’s Hotel in Bloomsbury. The students are also accused of and disorderly”. from the venue’s management after In the email, the management told smashing the glass wall of a toilet Regarding the non-medic boat manager” the event, the students are accused the boat club that they were now cubicle in the hotel, which it is now club’s recent antics, the union told of throwing food at members of banned from any future events at seeking compensation for, as well as FELIX: “Following the alleged staff, vomiting in corridors and the hotel. extra cleaning costs. incidents of Saturday 23rd January, They are cooperating to establish staircases “around the hotel”, with Early in the evening, managers The club were also told in the the club have been immediately the facts of what happened on the one particular student accused of warned students that if their subsequent email that the hotel’s suspended pending investigation. night.”

Is Crossrail 2 coming to Kensington? Local bosses publicly back plans to bring new rail link to the King’s Road

osses of organisations on the King’s Road. passing through several stations in around West London, The proposed station would be London. including Imperial part of the £30 billion infrastructure The support was provided through College Union’s managing project by Transport for London a letter to the London Evening director, have signed an open letter to and Network Rail that would open Standard which was also sent to Bthe Evening Standard announcing in 2030 and provide new links London Mayor, Boris Johnson. their support for a Crossrail station between Surrey and Hertfordshire, continued on page 2 th PAGE 2 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

[email protected]

Contents A word from the Editor Editor-in-Chief News 3 Grace Rahman News Editor Comment 5 Matthew Johnston h hey there! Take a seat. do the same at Imperial, invite me. Science 9 There’s been a lot of I’d happily be the Holly Willougby Comment Editors Tessa Davey and Vivien Hadlow talk in the paper this to the Katie Hopkins you find Feature 13 week about political somewhere. Science Editors correctness gone mad, and all that What I have a problem with is Jane Courtnell and Lef Apostolakis Film 19 gross garb your granny comes up using free speech as an excuse to be O Arts Editors with at Christmas. But unlike a dick. Yeah, you can say what you Indira Mallik, Jingjie Cheng and Music 22 Grammy, these bite-sized chunks want, and people are going to die for Max Falkenberg of bigotry don’t sandwich an M&S your right to say it, but just because Arts 24 card with a ten pound note inside. you can say it, does it mean you Music Editor Cale Tilford Some LSE students, presumably should? It’s easy to be inoffensive TV 26 the ones that aren’t occupying, have and engage in debate. It’s called not Film Editor decided to form a free speech club, being a terrible person. Fred Fyles Puzzles 28 because their strain of debate isn’t It’s a hazy road from debate to Welfare Editor being catered for at a university purposely being controversial, with Noor Mulheron Hangman 29 well known for political activity. not being awful about stuff floating And look, this isn’t disgusting in somewhere in the middle. Political Puzzles Editors Games 31 principle. correctness is a phrase certain "Why can’t I be a bit racist against Hamish Beck and Roxana Radu They say they want to offer a folks seem to take as a personal immigrants?" Just don’t be dick about Food Editor platform to speakers that have affront to themselves, despite the it! "But Muslims think differently Sanjay Bhattacharya FELIX, Beit Quad, previously been ‘no-platformed’, fact that usually they're discussing to me, what’s up with that?" Again, Prince Consort Road, but surely they’re a union club, a marginalised group that they are just respect people! "What if trans TV Editor Saad Ahmed London SW7 2BB so are subject to the union’s safe not a part of. people are different to me and I Tel: 020 7594 8072 space policy just the same as the Instead of calling it that, which don’t share their experiences?" Be Technical Babe Printed by Iliffee Print Cambridge, Humanists, Palestine Society or upsets people so much, maybe just nice and not a dick, simple as. Also, Luke Granger-Brown Winship Road, Cambridge FemSoc. I’d have to go to a meeting replace it with “not being be a dick work hard and call your mum at the Registered Newspaper Copy Editors ISSN 1040-0711 to really judge. If anyone wants to and respecting people”. It's easy! weekends. Hot-take over. Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi, Ahmed Copyright © FELIX 2015 Ibrahim, Alexandra Lim

Cover pictures by Tripadvisor and Crossrail

Union boss one of 46 representatives of local "business, major employers and institutions" to sign pro-Crossrail letter

...continued from front page is being led by some famous local The signatories’ letter says that residents including The Good Life the north-south link would provide actor Felicity Kendal and Made In Kensington and Chelsea with the Chelsea stars Georgia Toffolo and “integration with the wider London Hugo Taylor. public transport system, especially The proposals are currently part of the Underground” which they say it the wider consultation on Crossrail currently lacks. 2 led by TfL who recently reported The 46 signatories were cultural, 19,000 responses, which are business and health chiefs including currently being analysed. The project the chief executive of the Chelsea has previously met with criticism and Westminster Hospital, the when Soho’s Curzon Cinema was chair of Harrods, and the director earmarked for demolition to build a of the Natural History Museum. Crossrail station’s ticket hall. The signatories claimed that the “A number of suggestions and project would “safeguard the area’s alternative proposals have been put status as a world-leading cultural forward and will be considered” hub and location for pioneering announced Michèle Dix TfL’s medical, research and educational managing director for Crossrail establishments”. 2. The results will be published in The current plans involve building Spring. the station opposite Chelsea’s Old Town Hall on the King’s Road. A GRACE RAHMAN & campaign opposing the proposal PHILIP KURUKGY Not everyone's a fan. Photo Credit: Get West London felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 3

NEWS [email protected] LSE students start free speech society Their union recently said it would ban “something like a colour” if it offended students

Grace Rahman Editor-in-Chief What does it all mean? tudents at the school have started a ‘Free Speech Safe space Society’ due to what they A ‘safe space’ policy is call the “growing sense of something most student censorship” on campus. unions have, and promise SThe group say they’re tired of to keep members and staff their university’s reputation, given happy and protected. Imperial that so far this academic year the SU’s own policy includes sale of The Sun has been stopped measures to combat sexual in its shop, the rugby club has harassment, violence, abuse and been disbanded for a year after it discrimination, citing ‘blackface’ distributed sexist and homophobic as one example of unacceptably leaflets, and trigger warnings were offensive behaviour. put up around a Palestinian Society While most of these policies are broadly similar, some unions cite their policy more than others, Founders of Breath in, can you smell that? It’s the spare time of Humanities students. Photo Credit: Wikipedia leading to the phrase becoming synonymous with, depending on ‘Speakeasy’ protest. confusion between debating a point correspondent, Nick Parker, who in your view, political correctness The group’s founders argue that and agreeing with it, saying that 2014 was charged with handling gone wrong, or the right to universities “should prepare us for some students feel there is a “veil of an MP’s stolen phone, but cleared comfort and safety during your believe that the real world instead of putting us hypocrisy” while students “pretend of aiding abetting misconduct in a time at uni. in the safe-space bubble”. Although they agree so as not to disrupt the public office. Charlie Parker is in his there are often debates as part safe space”. second year of a Philosophy degree. No-platform the standard of the union, chaired by elected The club’s page on the LSE’s Here, the argument seems to This is when someone decides officers, the founders of ‘Speakeasy’ student union website says its be that the feelings of what these that a speaker’s views are so student believe that the standard student aims are to campaign against no- students feel are only the few should offensive that the platform is isn’t being treated like an adult, and platforming and censorship, invite not be overshadowed by what they going to be removed, ie their claim debates on sensitive topics are speakers, and protect free speech on feel is a “ban culture” at LSE. talk cancelled. Most universities, isn’t being being “shut down” for fear of being campus. The university, ranked fourth notably the NUS, have policies offensive. LSE’s newest club recently got in the world for Economics, is on this, which list certain groups treated like They say they want to create profiled by The Independent – quite somewhat notorious for its left wing that unions should not give a climate that welcomes debate, a coup for a club who hasn’t actually vibe and political activity, renamed a platform like the BNP and instead of censoring discussion out had a real life meeting yet. the student union president post EDL. These groups are usually an adult of fear of offending. One founding One of the founding members is ‘general secretary’ in the 80s in openly racist or fascist. member argued that there is the son of The Sun’s former foreign solidarity with striking miners. Business school still 4th best in UK says FT Imperial’s full time MBA slipped one place internationally, making it 35th in the world

mperial College Business number of other factors. Business Analytics. The KPMG School’s full-time MBA The latest weighted average salary, Data Observatory, a 313 degree program is the 35th best in which makes adjustments based visualisation tool which launched the world and the fourth best on variations between sectors, of in November, forms part of this in the UK according to the 2016 Imperial College Business School investment. IFinancial Times MBA rankings graduates after three years was Dr. Gawer, Associate Professor released this week. £78,400, an increase of around in Strategy and Innovation at The list, which is published £2600 from last year. the business school said, on the annually, ranks business schools The business school is considered importance of digital business, based on the average weighted at “the forefront of MBA teaching that: “The fusion of business and salary of students, employment for a digital era” according to the technology is at the heart of where after three months, salary increase Financial Times, referencing the the economy is going. I think our (the increase in alumnus salary from recent £20 million funding for MBA participants understand that.” before the MBA to now), and a the KPMG Centre for Advanced CALE TILFORD Imperial means (un)intelligent business. Photo Credit: Imperial College London th PAGE 4 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

NEWS [email protected] Rebranded union election nominations open The annual ‘Leadership Elections’ begin on Wednesday

Grace Rahman halls. Editor-in-Chief Positions on the trustee board are also open to students who don’t want to take a year out. Two student et ready for off- trustees are elected, and get to sit puttingly upbeat lecture on the board, making those big shout outs, a fortnight decisions, whilst still plowing on of Facebook spam and with their degrees. unwelcome accosting in the library If you prefer the anarchy of union Gover your jacket potato – it’s election council, you could go up for council time. chair, another part time elected Nominations for positions open position. This person gets the final on Wednesday the 3rd of February say over the (sometimes not even and close on the 28th of the same quorate) rabble of students who month. Candidate manifestos have debate the issues over at union to be uploaded by 5pm the next day, council once a month. or you risk relying on just your face to get that post. Turnout last year was 42% (60% They get undergraduates, 22% post grads). Since rules changed before the paid a tasty elections last year, every club with more than 150 members has to £19 grand a have its election online within the Last year’s results night. Where was the Felix Editor? Already working, probably. Photo Credit: Imperial College Union union’s eVoting system, rather than in person at an AGM. vote in the various volunteer roles will take a year out of real life to to sit on the trustee board, making year plus free Constituent unions will vote for within the union, including the debate student issues, will also be real decisions for the future of their presidents, clubs with more representation officers (Disabilities, elected. These positions are open Imperial’s student union. They get accomodation than 150 members will vote in Campaigns, Gender Equality etc). to any current student, regardless paid a tasty £19 grand a year plus their committees and everyone will Several sabbatical officers, who of experience, and offer the chance free accomodation in their choice of

Business school Dean sticks up for Bitcoin The dean spoke out on the economic fad dividing the internet in City A.M.

he dean of Imperial’s was not isolated. Trading Commission and MIT’s Business School The Dean went on to describe the School of Management. published an article in merits of Bitcoin, saying that big Anandalingam unsurprisingly Monday’s edition of business should stop seeing it as hailed Citi as one of the few banks City A.M. bemoaning the finance currency used by those on the dark that had moved with the times industry’sT complacency when web and embrace the speed it can and embraced the new financial it came to Bitcoin, and other bring to electronic transactions. technology, or ‘fintech’. cryptocurrencies. Having mentioned Imperial’s own Bitcoin was started with the Using the example of Sony “digital money startup”, Yoyo, he also aim of decentralising a currency, complacent attitude to MP3, which used the article to plug Imperial’s so it wasn’t in control of banks allowed Apple to sweep in and take symposium on the subject, brought or governments, but rather by advantage, Professor G. ‘Anand’ to you by Citi bank. The event, held traceable network of users online. Anandalingam warned that big at Canary Wharf on Tuesday, also Recently, the system has struggled banks, like Barclays, that have been gave the Dean the opportunity to to deal with technical issues. Bitcoin closing the accounts of customers announce the founding of a new developer Mike Hearn recently said with dealing in Bitcoin, are at risk Centre for Global Finance and that “the community [of Bitcoin] of losing out. Technology at the Business School. had failed”, that it was “completely Last year, a British teen’s Barclays The centre will be headed up by controlled by a handful of people” account was closed with little Professor Andrei Kirilenko, who and that the network was on the explanation after he’d dabbled in has previously worked for the US “brink of technical collapse”. the Bitcoin trade, and the incident government’s Commodity Futures GRACE RAHMAN Can’t get out of it now! Photo Credit: Imperial Business School felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 5

COMMENT [email protected] The regressive left Has political correctness become more important than free speech?

ou would be forgiven for in the past five years, become so expecting a guy like me, obsessed with political correctness raised by a mother whose that they are actively stifling free list of accolades includes speech. filing suits against a nursery nurse Just look at our universities, where forY telling 3-year-old me to remove you would expect that free speech my nail varnish because “that’s would be protected at all cost. What what girls wear” and a post office kind of institution would want for not allowing more than two students to only hear things they school children in at a time (ageism, agree with? Where does that get obviously), to have been well anyone? and truly smothered in leftie PC In fact, there are dozens of rhetoric to the point of opting to situations where free speech was Jack Foxabbott punch myself in the face rather than smothered by political correctness Writer mistakenly refer to a transgender at even some of the best universities person using a cisgender personal in the country. pronoun. At Oxford, for example, a debate about the morality of abortion was shut down by 300 or so people on There are the grounds that it was scheduled to be between two men. Since when Milo Yiannopoulos was banned from Manchester SU because his views could were debates only allowed to take “incite hatred”. Photo Credit: dailystormer.co.uk dozens of place between those directly affected by them? Would an infertile woman banned magazines including Charlie not only the right, but by major situations not have been allowed to take part? Hebdo, The Sun and The Star, UEA figures like Bill Maher and Richard Elsewhere, Goldsmiths University banned a Mexican restaurant from Dawkins who stand firmly left of SU voted against a measure to hold handing out sombreros because it centre: The Regressive Left. where free commemorations for Holocaust represented ‘cultural appropriation’, The Regressive Left are those Memorial Day because it would be hard left societies at a selection of who, after Charlie Hebdo and the “Eurocentric” and wouldn’t take into universities have banned speakers Bataclan attacks, rushed to Twitter speech was account atrocities committed by the including Maryam Namazie, Milo not to condemn the attacks but to UK. Months later, Goldsmiths SU Yiannopoulos, Germaine Grier, beg and plead others not to associate smothered officer Bahar Mustafa put together Nigel Farage, David Willets, but I this Islamic terrorism, terrorism in a protest against inequality, with think the point has been made. the name of Islam, with Islam. The advertisement saying “If you’ve been What these people are doing is Regressive Left doesn’t dare criticise by political invited and you’re a man and/or simply shutting down other people’s Islam because that would make white PLEASE DON’T COME.” opinions. If we disagree with people them ‘Islamophobic’. This is obviously preposterous – we should surely invite them along Criticising Islam will not hurt correctness imagine seeing a flyer captioned in order to challenge their opinions. Muslims any more than criticising a “WOMEN AND BLACKS NOT A debate is not won by muting scientific paper damages the paper – However, I think it’s time those WELCOME.” The culprit would one’s opponent. We’re being denied it does the opposite. These people are of us at Imperial and elsewhere likely be kicked off their course. the opportunity to think and willing to be liberal about everything who define ourselves as part of the Meanwhile Bahar’s defence, that challenge our opinions just because but Islam. It is no surprise that hard left join me in taking a look minority women could not be racist, a few people get offended. It’s for those on the far right are mocking at the extent to which this rapidly was apparently sufficient. this reason that the proposition of the hard-left’s ridiculous behaviour: changing political movement truly Satirical T-shirts depicting Jesus banning Donald Trump from the Milo Yiannopoulos ironically set represents us. and Mohammed drinking beer up a college scholarship fund only The values those on the hard- would have got an LSE Atheist available to white men. It’s worth left like to claim as their own can society kicked out of their freshers’ A debate is mentioning that when he looked be well described as Robin Hood- fair had they not covered them up, into the statistics and found that esque. They consider capitalism a as it was deemed offensive by LSE’s not won by poor white boys are in fact the game of chance: those born into student union, which would make most under-represented group in riches generally prosper while those blasphemy an offence. universities in the UK and US, he born into poverty generally stay I’m offended by loud breathers muting one’s decided to make this fund a real there. They want to level out the and people with BO but I wouldn’t thing. Of course, the hard-left playing field so fewer people have to dream of petitioning for a ban on opponent exploded. suffer. They’re sound principles, but such things. While there’s religion The bottom line is we need to chill. do the more specific political beliefs there are people opposed to religion, Open debate is what we’re here for. and actions of members of this just like with anything. UK is ridiculous. We can’t purge our lives of anything movement really embody them? I could go on to talk about how A new term referring to these that’ll make us question our beliefs, It is quite clear that a significant Birkbeck University have banned social justice warriors has been as considering the opinions of proportion of the hard-left has, UKIP, 32 UK Universities have thrown around on social media by others is how we grow. th th PAGE 6 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 PAGE 7

COMMENT [email protected] COMMENT [email protected] The Green Paper – the college stance...... and the student’s view The new Green Paper suggests high-achieving universities should increase fees Are we about to witness the sculpting of a new higher educational landscape?

ast November the meet our own high standards and oo many universities in Government published fulfil the Government’s objective England have allowed a Green Paper outlining to stimulate higher quality teaching teaching to become a proposed changes to higher while maintaining the confidence in “poor cousin to research”. education which, if implemented, and support of the sector. This was a quote from Universities Lwould have a significant impact on The proposed new assessment MinisterT Jo Johnson. It seems the way universities operate. I was framework risks driving the wrong the government have responded delighted that Imperial College behaviour, such as a focusing accordingly to this dilemma. Union submitted a response, on particular metrics that can So what is the Green Paper and indeed there is a great deal be ‘gamed’ rather than taking exactly? The Green Paper is a of common ground between the a balanced approach to quality governmental document which Union’s response and that of the enhancement. outlines proposals to “reward James Stirling College. For those and other reasons, we’ve excellent teaching with reputational Provost The focus of the College’s response argued strongly in our response that Luke McCrone and financial incentives”. There is was the introduction of a Teaching the TEF should be fully piloted Writer no commitment to action; instead Excellence Framework (TEF). in order to develop an appropriate it acts as a tool used to simulate The Government proposes that, measure of excellence in teaching, discussion. identify unintended consequences, It primarily aims to boost teaching Universities are going to change. Photo Credit: Cale Tilford and gain the confidence of the standards, support more people The sector. (from disadvantaged backgrounds) Is there any point in protesting when fees for better degrees are so likely to rise? Photo Credit: Cale Tilford through the TEF, an assessment who are experts in their fields and Imperial would be pleased to be into university and to give students proposed of each university’s teaching gain the intellectual and practical part of any such pilot exercise. We better value for money from their granting higher-ranked institutions levels. The question in response Imperial education office and excellence would be made, drawing skills to tackle the major challenges also said that while we strongly education. the ability to increase fees for new to this is quite simple: are we faculty leadership to introduce such on quantitative measures and an facing society. Our close working support policies to encourage The proposal is partly based students. witnessing a skills shortage, or a job a prize. new institutional statement. relationship with students, through students from disadvantaged around the notion that not all Mr Johnson claimed that whilst shortage? I think it is imperative that we as Universities achieving certain Imperial College Union, and with backgrounds to study at research- universities assign teaching the many academic institutions go Statistically, a growing population students understand and respect the levels of attainment in the TEF employers is helping us to achieve intensive universities such as same level of importance as above and beyond, there are many has dictated an increasing level main consequences of the Green assessment would be allowed to increase the fees this. Imperial, we believe that these research. High quality research is that opt for a “disengagement of purchased goods, services and Paper for us as young professionals they charge Home and European Assessing and incentivising crucial policies should be kept currently rewarded via the Research contract”. business start-ups meaning more entering the working world. One framework students to keep up with inflation. teaching excellence across the separate in Access Agreements – Excellence Framework (REF). The On the one hand, it is likely that jobs. Some industries, including way of raising awareness is through The College welcomes initiatives diverse range of universities in the a well-established and effective government now aims to mimic the presence of stronger incentives Oil and Gas, are in particularly low the effective communication of this that promote excellent teaching. UK is not straightforward. Our system – and not included with this concept by implementing the for excellent teaching will drive demand for graduate jobs currently. information to the Imperial student risks driving In the government’s own words, response voiced reservations about the TEF as suggested in the Green Teaching Excellence Framework – universities to optimise their own Therefore, both sides can be argued. population, provoking a well needed universities should be “putting the specific proposals in the Green Paper. rightfully so. teaching potential. On the other Interestingly, it seems that the interest in the subject. students at the heart of the system”. Paper. The Green Paper proposes that a Despite favouring this seemingly hand, we must ask ourselves if government are inclined towards Another way in which the Green the wrong A core part of our strategy is to One concern is that the successful outcome in TEF would great reward system, we must the additional fee income will manipulating the National Student Paper could significantly impact provide an educational experience assessment methods for teaching allow a university to increase fees scrutinise the implications of this exacerbate the gap between the Survey (NSS) as an assessment basis the educational landscape is via the behaviour in a vibrant, research-led, excellence proposed for the TEF with inflation. We’ve argued that proposal. The framework will act competences of higher and lower for the TEF. Therefore, the NSS implementation of the Grade Point entrepreneurial environment where fall short of the level of credibility, this link should not be mechanistic. as a substantial measure of an ranked universities. will likely have a greater bearing on Average system. This will alter the students learn alongside researchers rigour and robustness that would Teaching quality – in fact, the institution’s educational potential. Will this fuel the creation of things than ever before. current ‘degree band’ scheme as we quality of the student experience as It will likely be used as a basis for an elitist educational hierarchy I personally feel this is where know it. It would aim to support a whole – is a goal worthy of being deciding league table positions. comprised of divided teaching- Imperial College, as an established employers in making recruitment pursued for its own sake. From the 2017/18 academic year, it based and research-based and capable institution, should decisions, as well as helping students In any case, inflation-level will even be used as a mechanism for institutions? really start to up the ante. Imperial’s to track their progress throughout increases in tuition fees will not It seems the proposal is aiming NSS output (2% above the sector the course duration, not just during address a fundamental problem at to make the higher education average for student satisfaction in exam period. the heart of the higher education Like any sector increasingly marketable 2015) is already remarkable and is The proposals in the Green Paper system which the Green Paper does and accessible to a wider group only getting better thanks to the have huge scope to benefit many, not adequately discuss: high quality market of prospective students. Like any hard work of many. Nonetheless, I including the under-privileged, STEMM (Science, Technology, market fuelled by competition, there believe the implementation of other yet it seems its modification to the Engineering, Mathematics, and are winners and losers. Will we see NSS-related incentives for Imperial educational landscape will provoke Medicine) education costs more fuelled by a rise in ‘losing institutions’ that students would only improve the controversy. Are we witnessing to deliver than education in other struggle to keep pace with it all? situation. Introducing an inter- an attempt to genuinely improve subjects. competition, Another defensive angle which departmental prize specifically for the quality and accessibility of The College is committed to Mr Johnson employed during the most improved participation English universities, or are we faced delivering a high quality educational interrogation of the proposal was rate (compared to the previous with a framework within which experience for our students. This there are the need to compensate for a “skills academic year) seems like a sound universities will compete on every will require additional income, but shortage and a skills mismatch” with option, for example. level in order to financially sustain higher fees are not the sole solution. graduates entering the working This would require the future themselves? The support of Government as well winners and world. He felt that the proposal collaboration of the Deputy It’s time for you and I to address as our corporate and individual would act as a robust solution for President of Education (student the proposal and adapt to the What’s being said inside the cube? This. Photo Credit: Wikipedia supporters is essential. losers unfavourable graduate employment union representative) with the change. th PAGE 8 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

COMMENT [email protected] Masters of self-sabotage Our mentality towards mental health needs to change if we are to reduce suffering

t is my belief that it is a question of pure, unadulterated human We are the arrogance that has led us to the self-sabotage that I make reference to in the title. victims of IHumans have successfully institutionalised suffering. Whether that be through the failure of our our own democratically-elected leaders or the failure of a society so repelled delusions of by the idea of change that creating and propagating our own suffering has become as natural to us as the grandeur Varun Mann happiness we all crave. Writer When I think about this, I think a more positive environment for the about the millions of LGBT youth most vulnerable amongst us. across the world, struggling to deal I have made a conscious focus on with who they are, and who they LGBT youth in this article because love, all while in the midst of a it is of personal importance to me, world so ferociously hostile towards but my message can be applied them. To be so unapologetically to anyone and everyone. While cruel to these kids is to play with Our obsession with appearing successful prevents us from reaching out for help, education and more comprehensive fire. Subjecting them to further or from offering it to others. Photo Credit: Hercampus.com mental healthcare will go a long mental stress is to tempt fate, and way in helping those who suffer so same brain which has built a fully- or otherwise. There is such a thirst needlessly, on an individual level functioning, orbiting space station to be ‘happy’ and to find ‘happiness’ we must all do more to help those There is has also justified the slaughter of and I think, all things considered, around us, and we must lead with gay men by throwing them from our desires are misplaced. We are our hearts in doing so. such a atop buildings in towns in Syria. It so concerned with finding our own It is because our brains are so is obvious that its capabilities are all perfection that we forget to be brilliant that we should be vigilant at once amazing, and terrifying. human. These attitudes fuel our own and supportive should things go thirst to We have all experienced the prejudice towards mental illnesses. wrong. Vulnerability should be joy of a society which utilises the However, I think bigotry and embraced, our flaws should be strengths of our collective intellect. prejudice are more of the heart, embraced, and ultimately our be ‘happy’ It is, therefore, a mystery to me than of the mind. To overcome our weaknesses should be embraced. to see a society stigmatise mental prejudices we must put our hearts Only then can our own mental and to find health so viciously. We are as much first. health be seen as health just as a at the mercy of our minds as we are To approach issues in this way can broken leg or a stomach bug. the masters of it. To so easily cast be so rewarding and so pivotal in Our minds are as fragile as they ‘happiness’ mental illnesses into the shadows shaping the views of a wider society. are wonderful, and there is a fine is both arrogant and extremely Whether that be a Priest who line that separates us from that dangerous. speaks out in support of same-sex fragility. it is my belief that fate will oblige, That being said, it is somewhat marriage, or a mother who accepts I think, in the end, we are all lost. should it be tempted so. understandable for there to be a her son’s sexuality as part of who he But it is better to be lost with the Blood stains are what we are left lack of engagement with mental is, by using our hearts we can create ones we love than to be lost alone. with when we are so torturous to health. It is easier to sympathise those who are so innocent, especially with someone who has a broken when it comes to those struggling leg than a broken soul. But to be so with their sexuality. callous as to force the people around With this in mind, it is important us into a veritable state of hiding is to remember humans are a self- morally reprehensible. One in four destructive species, and the tendrils people in the UK will experience a of this self-destruction are far- mental health problem each year, so reaching. When we so brazenly it seems the shadows are filled with elevate our achievements and suffering souls. conflate our intelligence with I believe mental illnesses are tied untouchability, it is no wonder to an intangible vulnerability that that we are the victims of our own people fear so deeply. There is such a delusions of grandeur. desperation for every single one of us So little is known about the brain, to be the absolute best of ourselves, so to me, it is sadly poetic that it is to be successful and to achieve, and subject to such underestimation. The to fulfil our potential, God-given The figures speak for themselves. Photo Credit: Time to Change felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 9

SCIENCE [email protected] Is science for everyone? As the US government steps in to tackle sexual harassment, it’s time to ask, what is it going to take to fix this problem?

Madeleine Webb records between Universities, which Writer are themselves constantly under threat of lawsuits. However, what is clear to most people is that the exism in science; is there a current academic set up is untenable. real problem? How do we For those of you who haven’t been fix it? When is everyone, keeping up with these cases, which including myself, going is understandable considering the to shut up about it? Probably not whole thing is pretty depressing, Sfor a while. And yes, I do realise here is a short synopsis. In a 2005 that I could begin sounding like investigation recently released by a broken record, considering this congresswoman Speier, Arizona is the third piece I’ve written for University unveiled that lead FELIX discussing the topic, but astronomer Timothy Slater created unfortunately the problem isn’t a workplace environment that disappearing so neither will the involved lunchtime trips to a strip analogous articles. Things are club, demeaning comments to about to get a bit gross and very female co-workers, and open leering complicated. at female undergraduates. The Following the increased publicity condemning report was released on around three high profile sexual the same day it was reported that harassment cases in US university a Caltech astronomer, Christian science departments, democratic Ott, had harassed and fired two Geoff Marcy was found guilty of sexual harassment. Photo Credit: Wikipedia lawmaker Jackie Speier is proposing undergraduates from his lab after to Congress the strengthening of they filed a complaint against him. outcry has prompted institutes report the harassment. A series of towards women in STEM. The fact existing federal discrimination laws The whole situation turned into a like NASA to put out statements articles recently published by Forbes that the problem is so hard to tackle in order to tackle the issue at hand. massive scandal, partly because just reinforcing its commitment to called “Deciding whether to report seems to generally be the result Although the exact details haven’t three months earlier, a prominent inclusivity. Administrator Charles harassment in science” demonstrate of sexism, racism, homophobia been finalised, Speier has made astronomer from the University of Bolden stated, “Let me be perfectly that many cases don’t move through and other general unpleasantness it clear that the system needs to Arizona, Geoff Marcy, was found clear: NASA does not tolerate official channels because of a being prevalent within society and change and people should be held guilty of sexually harassing female sexual harassment, nor does any tendency to sweep the indiscretions subsequently academia. But, science accountable. “It shouldn’t be like the co-workers. organization seriously committed of important professors under the at its best doesn’t lead from behind Catholic Church, where once there If social media is anything to go to workplace equality, diversity and rug. nor does it sit on its hands waiting was an establishment of paedophilia, by, unfortunately these cases are inclusion.” Strong and encouraging So you can see how the whole for the world to catch up. Personally they just move the priest to another only part of a wider trend. These words, but some argue that although thing is a bit of a mess and the I’d love for this problem to go away, parish”, Speier told reporters. high profile examples of sexism and scientific institutions whollyscientific community is once more if for no other reason, just so that However, the proposed changes sexual harassment have triggered condemn sexism, there are no stuck, knowing action is needed, I can write articles about literally are not unanimously supported and the formation of a new hashtag, consequences for those who unfairly but remaining indecisive as to what anything else at this point. some argue that the actual impact #astroSH, which is being used discriminate against women. that action should be taken. Just to It’s absurd and deeply worrying, of these changes will never trickle by scientists to share stories and The worrying part of both the clarify, no one is saying that all male that for a bunch of supposedly down to the lab level. Many states voice opinions on the reality of official and anecdotal cases is scientists are sexist, chauvinistic smart people, we still struggle with have laws that explicitly prevent being a woman in STEM, with the general lack of repercussions pigs or that work place harassment tackling what should be a simple the sharing of employee personal emphasis on Astronomy. Such faced by most of these individuals. is unique to STEM fields or only issue. Although the report about Timothy Slater is damning to say the least, he was allowed to stay at the University of Arizona until 2008 and now holds a science education chair position in the state of Wyoming. Geoff Marcy, the professor from the University of California has been allowed to continue calling himself the honorary title of “Professor Emeritus” since he technically chose to step down amidst widespread criticism, rather than being fired. Ott was never fired and CalTech allowed him to continue to work with undergraduates. This unaccountability has created Jackie Speier fights to tackle the current sexual harassment issues and the lack of a culture where victims of repercussions. Photo Credit: Wikipedia discrimination don’t feel able to #AstroSH – hashtag to voice the reality of sexual harassment in STEM. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 11 Union Page [email protected] Green Paper: If the TEF is the answer, what’s the question? SCIENCE Mere months to roll out a national much respect and recognition as done to make students’ unions scheme for measuring the teaching high-impact research. But when a more democratic and accountable, quality of 1500+ degrees at over 100 Teaching Excellence Framework looks including the misguided suggestion institutions. Allowing universities like a back door to raising fees far past that students’ unions should fall under From scorching deserts to frosty windows that produce high earners to charge £9k for selected institutions, we get the umbrella of trade unions. I don’t Namib desert beetle provides solution to the formation of frost on surfaces more, meaning the institutions that suspicious. When the sector agrees think the Government expected the educate our nurses and carers will that no one has a clear idea how outpouring of support and respect Lizzie Riach attract moisture, the smooth parts learned from this peculiar survival see their income erode. Trapping improvements in teaching excellence for the educational value of strong Writer surrounding them repel it. This mechanism that they can control students in the bind that if they rate can be reliably and fairly measured, students’ unions that has emerged causes droplets to form on particular where dewdrops form. To mimic their education highly, they support we get sceptical. Put it this way: even from across the sector - including from the beetle’s’ shell, water-attracting ramping up fees for the next cohort. the universities who want nothing College. Students’ unions are amongst rost can be a problem patterns are put on a water- Finally, taking the authority to set more than to raise fees right now are the most transparent and democratic in cold climates or at This is not repelling (hydrophobic) surface. tuition fees from Parliament and giving not convinced that the TEF is the right organisations you can think of, with extreme conditions. It can Dew can only form on top of these it to a single politician to raise at will. way to do it. As it stands, the Teaching high levels of engagement, open form on aeroplane parts specific patterns. As frost starts Jennie Watson Excellence Framework idea is vague, finances, and student involvement at at high altitudes and condenser the first with a single frozen dew drop and The Government’s Higher Education rushed and unworkable. We ask that it all levels. coils in fridges and windshields, spreads to other connected droplets Deputy President (Welfare) F Green Paper put forward a lot of be delayed, put on a solid foundation particularly during the winter across surfaces this information can [email protected] ideas; ideas that affect how students of reliable data and processes, and Taken together, these two proposals months. Frost formation can create time this be applied to restricting or stopping learn - and pay up - for decades to tested for its ability to work in favour sum up the attitude to students and such a logistical headache, that in this occurrence. If the droplets that come. We are proud of our Green of students - and that it doesn’t price universities that underlies the whole fact a large amount of money is beetle has form are confined to very small Paper Response (available in full at students out of the education they Green Paper. Centralise power to required to ensure important units areas and kept separated, the spread stay frost-free in order to maintain of frost can be stopped altogether. The Namib desert beetle Stenocara dentata. The bumps on its shell collect water imperialcollegeunion.org/greenpaper), merit. politicians rather than academics, droplets which are then siphoned to it’s mouth. Photo credit: Hans Hillewaert in which we oppose the majority charge individuals more and more, and their function. inspired “I appreciate the irony of how an of the ideas suggested. We found There are a number of other undermine the single biggest group of However, a team of researchers insect that lives in a hot, dry desert from Virginia Tech has found inspired us to make a discovery in the future. a U.S. start-up company and later, College, and much of the higher proposals in the Paper; two are worth people in the whole higher education an answer in an unlikely source. about frost,” said Jonathan Boreyko, This technological breakthrough, an Austrian industrial designer education sector, agreeing with us. mentioning now. One proposal - system: students. scientists Namib desert beetles live in one an assistant professor of Biomedical although simple, could save a lot of created the Fontus self-filling water snuck in on page 64 - would allow of the hottest and driest climates Engineering and Mechanics at money in the aeronautical and wind bottle which allows condensation to Imperial College Union has long politicians to raise fees without Imperial College Union will continue to on Earth, Africa’s Namib desert, spots, where they can then be Virginia Tech. In these initial tests, energy industries. Currently a large be collected during bike rides. lobbied for improved teaching Parliamentary approval; we describe speak up for its members by opposing which receives less than 1.3cm of channelled into the beetle’s mouth Boreyko and his team were able amount of chemicals are used in It goes to show how biomimicry standards, through our Academic this as fundamentally wrong, a historic these measures, and suggesting rainfall a year. In order to survive, through ridges around the sides of to create a single dry zone which order to defrost equipment. can be used for a vast expanse of Representation Network and Student mistake and a deeply undemocratic more sustainable and fairer reforms to they harvest water vapour from the the shell, providing a welcome and surrounded a piece of ice. They are This is not the first time the Namib ideas, and that there is a lot more Academic Choice Awards; we feel decision. The other, on page 61, higher education at every opportunity. ocean breeze through the utilisation much needed beverage in these hoping to scale up their research to desert beetle has inspired scientists. to be discovered from the natural that teaching should be given as asks out of the blue what can be of their unique shell structure. extreme arid conditions. encompass large pieces of machinery Back in 2012, the idea of a self- world that can aid humans in Whereas bumps on their shell The scientists at Virginia tech such as wind turbines or aeroplanes filling water bottle was initialised by overcoming complex problems.

We are a gold employer! Natasha Khaleeq Imperial College Union has joined an employer, an outperforming place Writer elite group of organisations that hold to work and a clear commitment to This week’s science picture the Investors in People Gold award sustainability. this week. The Investors in People ommunicating science standard accredits organisations Joe Cooper, Managing Director, to politicians appears that excel at leading, supporting Imperial College Union said “Imperial to be a challenging task and managing their staff and is College Union is led by student especially when none of recognised world-wide. officers and its army of volunteers, them have an academic research but it needs a team of highly talented, Cbackground. Luckily, 8% have some Imperial College Union was awarded engaged and committed staff to form of science degree and seem the basic standard in February 2015 ensure that the Union delivers on its interested in current research. and less than a year later the Union strategic vision of being recognised as 20 years ago a group of science has been awarded the gold standard, a leader in student development and activities, representation support and and engagement. An exemplary communicators joined forces with the government and created the which is only achieved by 7% of engagement. I am incredibly proud development opportunities”. Louise role model for others to follow.” Parliamentary Office of Science the 15,000 organisations that hold that the ongoing hard work of our Lindsay, Director of HR, Imperial By holding this award the Union and Technology (POST). Today accreditation. Awarded by Investors team of staff and our management College London said “This external clearly demonstrates that it is a great the organisation is led by Dr Chris in People assessors, the gold award team, and the commitment of recognition of the high standards of place to work, helping us to better Tyler and Dr Chandrika Nath and judges an organisations ability to our Board of Trustees to staff staff development and professional recruit and retain the best possible consists of twelve staff members meet over 125 of 130 criteria through development, has been recognised practice is a great achievement for the staff who in turn can continue to who mediate between politicians a series of interviews with staff with this prestigious award. Imperial Union. The award is well deserved provide the best services to our and researchers, informing MPs members. Successful accreditation College Union is a great place and reflects the transformative journey members and excel in our mission to of important scientific and against the Investors in People to work, and this means we can the Union have undertaken over the enhance the student experience at technological issues. Gold standard is the sign of a great provide students with even better last few years in staff development Imperial College London. This is achieved through the production of detailed yet concise briefings, which are discussed in the Start your career with a bang at one of the UK’s best employers: us. Visit imperialcollegeunion.org/elections science conference room. This quarterly process is important as it allows MPs to make informed, evidence based decisions on a range imperialcollegeunion.org of subjects. Parliament’s science conference room. Photo Credit: Natasha Khaleeq Visit our website to get more information. imperialcollegeunion.org/elections felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 13

FEATURES [email protected] An idiot’s guide to the US Election Primary? Caucus? Superdelegate? What does it all mean?

Matt Johnston Senate, and whether the state voted News Editor for the Republican candidate at the last election. The Democrats, however, take he United States into consideration the previous Presidential election. election voting in comparison to the The $6 billion race wider nation, as well as the electoral for the White House. college votes that each state has The battle between Democrats (a crude way of incorporating andT Republicans, Donkeys versus population). Bonus delegates are Elephants. Like an Olympics for also assigned for a multitude of politicians, it happens every four reasons, ranging from when you years and has the potential to shape hold the primary/caucus to if your world economics and policy until neighbouring states also hold theirs the next one. on the same date in a process known as “clustering”. But what on earth is (Fun fact: Hawaii and Alaska happening? are classed as neighbours of February 1st marks the start of Washington and Oregon for this.) the Presidential nomination race, Essentially all the relevant, and specifically the Iowa Caucus, with it seemingly irrelevant, data is fed being the first time the public can into the system, the alignment of voice their opinions. This process the planets is checked and if the will contribute to the eventual groundhog sees his shadow then There’s gonna be hell toupée. Photo Credit: ABC News decision on which candidates are you’ve somehow got yourself some picked to represent the Republicans delegates. on these results. The complications a period of debate and discussion, This means that it has great and Democrats in the November arise when a primary is either open followed by a vote. These can be both influence on the trajectory of the presidential election. So how are these or closed as this affects who can open and closed like the primaries, whole campaign as it is gives a first Republican frontrunners include delegates chosen? vote. Usually in a closed primary and mostly follow the same rules. indication to see who voters are Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Well, some aren’t for a start. only voters who are registered with Some states have systems in which favouring. This can change campaign Carson, Jeb Bush and the man These delegates are referred to as that party can vote, but some states the voting is done via a secret ballot strategies wildly in some cases, and of the moment, Donald J Trump. unpledged or are given the snazzy do allow independent voters to cast and some via physically moving into can even cause participants who fair They are in competition against title of ‘Superdelegate’ and are free their vote too. groups of voters with a count being terribly to drop out all together. the Democrat candidates, Hillary to choose who they like out of the In contrast, an open primary taken. It’s all a bit of a mess as to Results from Iowa have also been Clinton, Bernie Sanders and, to a candidates. At the Democratic means that a registered voter may who does what. known to cause a snowballing effect lesser extent, Martin O’Malley. conference there are around 700 vote in either party’s primary but in which endorsements and visibility But what is a caucus I hear you of these Superdelegates, making only in one (i.e. a Republican But why have both? is garnered for candidates who were scream, and is it the same thing as a up roughly 15% of the total vote voter may vote for the Democratic It’s a case of different votes for seemingly unnoticed beforehand. primary? Well scream no more. and comprising of high ranking nomination but not the Republican different folks and all that really. The whole Iowa circus tends to Caucuses and primaries are party members as well as former nomination too). Open primaries Each have pros and cons as although propagate its own existence too, as indeed different things but they Presidents and Vice Presidents. have been criticised for allowing the caucuses usually allow decisions where the media are, the candidates largely serve the same purpose, to The Republicans select far fewer, a certain extent of vote rigging to to be made on wider issues aside usually aren’t too far behind and vice decide the makeup of delegates who around 168, which equates to occur, as one side may vote to get from the election, they take longer, versa. This has lead to the seemingly vote for each party’s presidential around 5% of their vote and these a weaker opposition candidate in meaning only the more politically innocuous state being national and election candidate at the National are drawn from three senior party order to stand a better chance in the engaged voters in the state turn up. international news for a brief period Convention in July. Each state, as members from each of the regions final, presidential election. In the end all the votes from every four years. well as a selection of other territories who have a vote. Primaries of one form or another the state get tallied up, and the (notably American Samoa, District Superdelegates can sway the take place in all regions bar ten delegates are given out either in a Come on then, will Trump of Colombia, Guam and Puerto overall vote, as well as the larger (Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Kansas, proportional or in a winner-takes- actually be our overlord? Rico) each get either a primary or public opinion, and are seen from Maine, Minnesota, Nevada, North all fashion, depending on the party, Maybe, possibly, who knows. All a caucus from which the makeup of opposing sides as either a steady Dakota, Wyoming and Iowa) and state and what time of year it is that is certain is that he stands a delegates is decided. hand to guide the nomination the remainder have the mystical (genuinely). decent chance of becoming the process or an encroachment into caucuses. nomination for the Republican Who gets delegates? an otherwise purely democratic Well what’s so special party at least. This is largely in part How many delegates a certain selection. Caucuses about Iowa then? to the plethora of different rules region gets is dependant on a But what about the remainder Voting at caucuses is conducted The Iowa Caucus is the top dog that could fall in Donald’s favour crazy and confusing system of of delegates? That’s where the at a large number of small meetings when it comes to caucuses and this (such as the cross party voting by rules and regulations, which change primaries and caucuses come in. across the state in question, with the largely boils down to the fact that Democrats to bolster their chances). depending on the party. Several results from all these combined and it is first. It gained it’s frontrunner A big indication will come this rules that the Republican party uses Primaries then distributed to the delegates. position in 1972 due to hotel rooms Monday as to his, and indeed include choosing delegates based Primaries are similar to any other The way in which these are (don’t ask) and tradition/state law the candidates from both party’s on the number of representatives election and a secret ballot is held in conducted again vary by both state means it has now become the first chances, but there’s over 280 days that the state has in the House and which delegates are selected based and party but the general format is event of the nomination calendar. and a lot of voting before it’s all over. friday 29 January

A NIGHT OF 90S AND 00S INDIE, ROCK AND BRIT POP FLOORFILLERS!

Free entry to the first 25 people who post their song choice on the wall!

FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 20:00 - 02:00 METRIC & FIVESIXEIGHT £1.50 Guest list £2.50 On the door £2.00 With an Entertainments Card coming up!

Date Event Time Location Every Tuesday Super Quiz 20:00 - 22:00 FiveSixEight Every Tuesday Cocktail Night 18:00 - 23:00 Metric Every Wednesday CSP Wednesday 19:00 - 01:00 Metric & FiveSixEight Wednesday 3 February ACC 19:00 - 01:00 Metric & FiveSixEight Every Wednesday Sports Night 19:00 onwards Reynolds Every Friday PGI Friday cocktails 16:30 onwards h-bar Every Friday Reynolds Cocktail Club 17:30 - 00:00 Reynolds Friday 29 January Common People 20:00 - 02:00 Metric & FiveSixEight Friday 5 February iPOP 20:00 - 02:00 Metric & FiveSixEight imperialcollegeunion.org/whats-on

Venue: 568 and Metric Date & Time: Sunday 7th February, Kick-off at 11:30pm /ImmortalsAFC @ImmortalsAFC felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 19

FILM [email protected] The top three Oscar snubs TheSuicide Squad trailer is not okay hen it comes to not involving the shortcomings of Marvel or DC’s cinematic output, DiCaprio as a self-confessed comic book fan- ell it looks like the boy,W I’m usually pretty forgiving. drought is finally Unfortunately, the first official trailer over. After putting for DC’s latest film, Suicide Squad, out several arguably which dropped last week, hints at ‘Oscar-worthy’ performances a film with some serious flaws. It LeonardoW DiCaprio may finally be might only be a two-minute trailer, awarded his long awaited and joked- but the way it trivialises mental about Oscar. We have Alejandro G. health and sexualises its female cast Iñárritu and The Revenant to thank has me worried for its release this for this. However, whilst DiCaprio August. is the most famous repeat snubée It begins by introducing the main the Academy has a history of some villains who make up the ‘Suicide seriously massive blunders (*cough* Squad’ – a group of ‘the most Chicago). Let’s look at some other dangerous people on the planet’ examples: forced to work for the government Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, whose character seems to be overly sexualised. Photo Credit: DC Comics on impossible missions. Military Andy Serkis officer Rick Flag, played by Joel her: “What was that? I should universe. In one part, the Joker is whilst her male cohorts are covered It’s an interesting debate when Kinnaman, narrates the trailer, kill everyone and escape? Sorry. seen holding her in a toxic pool, a in layers of protective clothing. you think about it. Can/should an describing each of his fellow squad The voices. Haha, I’m kidding. scene that can also be found in her While these issues alone are actor portraying a 100% computer- members as they appear on screen: That’s not what they really said.” latest comic origins tale, in which troubling, what is more worrying generated character be recognised “Guy who shoots people. He’s a Well done lads, you just trivialised she is forced to become the Joker’s is that – as a major blockbuster by the Academy? It’s an interesting crocodile and he eats people. Burns auditory hallucinations, a common lover and side-kick, against her own – the film is unlikely to start a debate when you think about it. people. You’re possessed by a witch.” symptom of certain mental illnesses, free will. It’s a story that is not in any conversation about suicide or mental Should the Oscar not go to the At this point, Harley Quinn (played for comedic effect. It’s important way empowering. At one point she health. As the world is starting to animators? Ultimately, with the by Margot Robbie) appears on to remember that Suicide Squad even wears a jacket with the words wake up to the seriousness of these advancing precision of technology I screen: “And she’s just crazy.” marks the live-action cinematic ‘Property of the Joker’ embroidered issues, it’s disappointing that the think that acting as a CG character By defining Quinn by her mental debut of Harley Quinn, and for on the back, further evidence that movie is being advertised in a way should be considered just as state, the filmmakers potentially many this might be their first – and the film will present Quinn as an that fetishises criminals and mental legitimate as ‘real-life’ performances. waste a complex and powerful most lasting – introduction to the object under the Joker’s control. health patients. Now all we can do is Many people seemingly agree both female character. The scene that character. The problems with her costume wait and hope that the film is more with this since, in 2011, thousands follows is even worse, in which she Further analysis of the trailer don’t end there: along with the rest nuanced than its trailer. petitioned a nomination for Serkis’ hears voices and jokingly remarks hints at Harley Quinn’s supervillain of the female cast, she’s blatantly role in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. to the military force surrounding origins in the DC cinematic sexualised, wearing underwear CALE TILFORD Keep up with the times guys. Tilda Swinton OK, before you say it, yes we all know she already has an Oscar. The issue here is that in a world where Bradley Cooper has been nominated The most romantic film themes three times (Holy sweet lord Jesus, how can anyone like American Hustle or American Sniper?) the fact that Tilda Swinton has only ever been nominated once is getting more of all time and more ridiculous. In my opinion, Henry Mancini’s “Moon Michel Legrand’s also responsible for establishing his Ennio Morricone’s “Tema the snub for her portrayal of Eva in River”, from Breakfast at “Les Parapluies de talent in Hollywood. d’Amore”, from Cinema We Need to Talk About Kevin is the Tiffany’s (1961) Cherbourg”, from Les Paradiso (1988) stand-out example of pure injustice. Nino Rota’s “Love Parapluies de Cherbourg Theme”, from Romeo Jamie Foxx There are three versions of this (1964) The Maestro’s music was essential I don’t normally do this but let’s song in the film adaptation of and Juliet (1968) in making Giuseppe Tornatore’s keep this bullet point-level simple: Truman Capote’s acclaimed novel: Cinema Paradiso the classic film Django Unchained is a phenomenal a choral version, an instrumental The touching music of Michel In quite possibly the best film masterpiece it is today. This track film; Jamie Foxx is perfect in it.Les version, and one performed during Legrand is more than a mere adaptation of the most famous love perfectly captures Toto’s young, all- Misérables is a terrible film; Hugh the film by the amazing Audrey companion for Jacques Demy’s story of all time, Nino Rota achieves consuming love for Elena, with the Jackman’s performance in it was Hepburn on her guitar during the film, considering the fact that in a masterpiece, full of drama, along necessary shades of melancholy and awful. Somebody go back to 2013 film. All three are dreamy and full the whole film there is not even with the a perfect medieval tone nostalgia that perfectly complement and swap these nominations. Thank of hope, perfectly illustrating Holly one word of spoken dialogue; that perfectly suits the setting of the their story. you. Golightly’s spirit. all dialogues are sung on top of story. BEN COLLIER Legrand’s compositions, which were IOANNA MORIANOU th th PAGE 20 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 PAGE 21

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FILM The AssassinFILM thing of beauty, a work of art in the the camera, constructing intricate most aesthetic sense of the word, interior scenes, where billowing but his insistence of keeping the silk obfuscates the view of the audience removed from the work lens, which contrast with the vast All’s fair in love and finance Dir: Hou Hsiao-Hsien. Script: results in a feeling of tedium and dramatic landscapes of rural China. Esoteric economics are brought down to earth in Adam McKay’s hugely enjoyable film Hou Hsiao-Hsien, Chu Tien-wen. overwhelming isolation. Cinematographer Mark Lee Ping Starring: Shu Qi, Chang Chen, Set in 8th Century China, The Bin, of In the Mood for Love fame, Zhou Yun. 105 minutes. Assassin’s premise is that a young gracefully handles the interplay woman from the province of of light within the film, providing The Big Short tried to like The Assassin. I Weibo was given away to a nun at Hsiao-Hsien with a ravishing colour really, really did try. First a young age, who trained her up to palette from which to construct this hearing about it during its become a master of the sword, and visual tone-poem. rapturous reception in Cannes, a lethal assassin. After fobbing an But while the style is there, a Dir: Adam McKay. Script: Adam where Hou Hsiao-Hsien became assignment, she is returned home, sense of substance isn’t – or at McKay, Charles Randolph. Starring: Ithe second Taiwanese director in the under strict instruction to kill her least, it’s so deeply buried within Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan festival’s history to win the coveted cousin, to whom she was once the labyrinthine plot as to make Gosling, Brad Pitt. 130 minutes. Best Director Award, I watched as it betrothed. This is all explained in it invisible. While Ang Lee’s made its way towards a UK release, the first five minutes of the film, a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Tom Stephens pushed along by wave after wave stunning black and white tableau of may have elevated wuxia films to Film Writer of ecstatic reviews. After seeing it nature and violence; to say that the high-art, making them appealing at the London Film Festival I was plot only thickens from there is an to Western viewers, The Assassin left disappointed; the glacial pace understatement. A political rivalry tries to take things to another level; here are many ways a of the film meant there were many between Weibo and the Imperial however, the high-intensity nature movie can go about points where I drifted off. But then Court, along with a revolving cast of wuxia and the laconic character breaking the fourth wall: a few months later, The Assassin was of characters, whose presence is of the film are uneasy bedfellows. direct communication named Sight and Sound’s best film unexplained or justified, means that Ultimately, The Assassin reminded with the audience can come in the of 2015. I must have been overtired, often we are swimming in a sea of me so much of the pots produced formT of subtle wink-wink moments I rationalised to myself; I ought confusion without the lifejacket of during the Tang Dynasty in which of dialogue, such as Kingsman: The to give it another shot, and really context. While a second viewing the film is set: stunning to look Secret Service’s conversations about focus this time, to try and catch revealed more of the plot, the entire Shu Qi as Nie Yinniang, the titular assassin. Photo Credit: The Assassin PR at, with a glossy surface of gilded classic spy films; the perfectly- what I had missed. Well, call me a set-up was so impenetrable that at colour, but hollow on the inside. timed stare at the camera that philistine, but I really didn’t get it – some points I felt it would be more on the screen, and just let the poetic And what visuals these are. Eddie Murphy mastered in Trading Hsiao-Hsien has indeed created a worthwhile to ignore the subtitles visuals wash over me. Hsiao-Hsien is a master behind FRED FYLES Places; references to real-world events and people such as Riggan Thomson’s hilarious Jeremy Renner spiel in Birdman; or even just plain Christian Bale sweeps up the nominations with his performance as Dr. Michael Burry in The Big Short. Photo Credit: Paramount Pictures old narration. The Big Short is a Documentary corner: American Movie film that takes all these methods, been afraid of poking a hefty dose of the theatre: “This is a true story”. happens to be the one raking in Hamish Linklater), as well as John bundles them up into a great big fun at modern society – the absurd It speaks volumes of the McKay’s award nominations for his portrayal Magaro and Finn Wittrock, who Ben Collier The pessimism shown by Uncle Bill fist, shatters the wall with a single nationalism displayed by overly- talent that The Big Short makes its of Asperger’s-suffering economic portray Charlie Geller and Jamie Film Writer throughout really contrasts and cuts punch, and grabs the viewer by their proud Americans was taken to the desperate subject matter not only visionary Dr. Burry, and his carefully Shipley respectively, two young through the child-like enthusiasm ears, screaming: “HEY. LISTEN. tenth power in Talladega Nights, and arresting, but also hilarious, and selected opus of mannerisms (not hedge fund upstarts who cross paths t’s not often you see a of Mark, helping us to see past his WE’RE TRYING TO TELL the nature of over-saturation of air- never uninteresting to watch. An to mention his skills on a drum- with Vennett and get ahead on the documentary split opinion fantasy world and understand the YOU SOMETHING.” headed news networks was subtly excellent effort from the production kit) are deployed to fantastic effect, market’s collapse. in such a love-it-or-hate- reality of his life. Both Mark and What it’s trying to tell you, on explored in the Anchorman films team results in a slick, perfectly but in truth there is not a bad But if that recognition can only it fashion. I suppose that is Mike grew up in a very working the surface at least, is the story of a – but the comedy in this film sits stylised viewing experience; the tiny performance in this movie. Special go to a few, it is fully deserved by something that comes with ‘cult class area of Milwaukee and bunch of outsiders who foresaw the squarely in the back seat. details that make all the difference recognition should go to everyone, the leads – Ryan Gosling has never Ifilm’ territory, and personally, both experienced quite desolate collapse of the worldwide housing The film’s breaking of the fourth fly by in a blink-and-you-miss- including each member of Baum’s been so convincing as Vennett, when I think of the label of ‘cult upbringings; both face a number of market and did what they could to wall becomes painfully astute; it fashion – seconds-long shots team (Rafe Spall, Jeremy Strong and with a sliminess and a smoothness classic’, American Movie is the demons. A burgeoning alcoholism profit from it – centred particularly it reminds us that the crisis was of pictures of our protagonists’ that makes for a bafflingly effective first film that comes to mind. The is evident in the film, and Mark’s around hedge fund managers Dr. caused by a small number of children on their desks are not combination, and Steve Carell’s star here is Mark Borchardt – an issues with both gambling and a Michael Burry (Christian Bale) and bankers so desperate to make even followed by scenes of the characters’ The Big turn as the perpetually on-edge and amateur filmmaker who has spent deeply dysfunctional family are also Mark Baum (Steve Carrell), and more money that they were willing good parenting techniques, but deeply pained Baum continues the his whole life trying to inspire his explored later on. Mike, at several Wall Street trader Jared Vennett to gamble with the livelihoods of rather even quicker shots of those expansion of his now incredibly family and slacker friends to fund, points, explains that the only thing (Ryan Gosling). But as the movie the general population. But more same children at home tapping Short is diverse acting range. Any of the star in, and help produce a short for friends to do for fun in his city unfolds it becomes clear that worryingly, it tells us that if more away on MacBooks, implies they’re three would be worthy of the horror film ‘Coven’. He does this in is slack off and drink can-after-can what it’s really trying to tell you is people had simply looked harder at indifferent to whether their fathers nominations in my mind, but the order to garner interest and money, of shit beer. something much more serious, and the ugly truth, perhaps the whole care about them or not. The story’s technically fact that Bale’s equally excellent eventually allowing him to produce “Coven, man, we gotta get this sucker done, though.” Photo Credit: American Movie PR I consider American Movie to be much more important; something mess could have been avoided. As most important moments ring loud performance is the one receiving his magnum opus ‘Northwestern’. one of the best documentary films you already know, but have never the film reaches its conclusion, we and clear, but never feel forced or them will certainly not have me Mark’s charm manifests itself in special effects. If you look up the away car crash humour. What is to it simply being that bizarrely ever made, and would happily wanted to. realise with a heavy heart that we over-the-top. almost losing sleep. his unwavering enthusiasm in the infamously hilarious scene of Mark’s so uniquely brilliant about this dichotomous in its feel. Some place it very high up on a list of The multi-character perspective already know exactly how it ends, On top of the dramatic heft the The Big Short is a film that may face of ridiculous odds; What one attempts to direct his bored and film is how hilarious it can be examples may give a rough idea my favourite movies. What it from which the film’s story is told and that rather than creating some true story packs, McKay manages be difficult to think about after comes to realise is that everybody grumpy Uncle Bill (the unwilling whilst simultaneously maintaining though. One line that stands out is presents to the viewer is a uniquely allows us to interact with the real kind of propaganda piece in hopes to squeeze even more sympathy out flawless, watching, since its subject matter but Mark – and his best friend/ main financier of the project) to a serious and quite depressing when, following an endless string unpolished, warts-and-all look into people who were tied up in the of inciting a rebellion against ‘the of the audience with a set of vivid, only reveals its true importance side-kick Mark Schank – knows say just one line “It’s alright, it’s ok! undertone. of laboured takes, Mark shouts to the lives of people attempting to insanely nebulous market crash system, maaan,’ all the film has done oddball characters who bring the upon reflection. But the fact that Coven is doomed. We see There’s something to live for! Jesus This, I feel, warrants some Uncle Bill “you have to believe in do away with their label of “trailer – we come face to face with the is present us with the facts. The screen to life – although perhaps the written with remains that it is technically almost scene-after-scene of failed shoots, told me so!” you’ll get the idea. explanation. The difficulty here what you’re saying!” to which Bill park white trash,” achieve success in villains and victims of the event. marketing tagline chosen for the real reasons behind the audience’s flawless, written with cutting-edge horrific acting based on a woeful But, of course, complexity is is that describing this movie bitterly replies “Well, I don’t; I don’t Hollywood, and live the American Director and screenwriter Adam film is a perfect pick, and develops sympathy for these characters is the wit, excellently directed and acted, script, topped off by laughable present beyond the can’t-look- accurately is near-impossible due believe in nothing you’re doing.” Dream. McKay’s previous films have never a whole new meaning after leaving strength of the performances. Bale cutting wit and ultimately truly essential. th th PAGE 22 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 PAGE 23

MUSIC [email protected] MUSIC [email protected] SOPHIE, sweet like whipped cream Is it human to adore life? Cale Tilford with Charli XCX – he mixes her There were times when the Cale Tilford that “Love is the answer.” On ‘Sad thrashing guitars and percussion Music Editor vocal onomatopoeia such as ‘beep audience’s enthusiasm seemed to Music Editor Person’ Beth delivers one of Adore and we hear a rare twinkling beep’ and ‘vroom vroom’ with the fizzle out – when Long played Life’s best lyrics, “I’m not gonna synth. Then it suddenly ends. It’s sounds themselves. When Long tracks that weren’t from his recent hurt you / Cause I’m flirting with undoubtedly the best song Savages ver the last few years, plays this live, the crowd almost release PRODUCT or other dore Life is an album you.” ‘Adore’ starts slow with fuzzy have ever written. SOPHIE (the stage laughs each time they hear the collaborations, but these moments about the good and the Beth demonstrates the power name of Samuel Long) sounds of the car. Most people are never lasted long. bad parts of love. The and range of her voice on ‘I Need has played many times The rest of the PC Music crew title should really be a An assured Something New,’ delivering in London and around the world. Every (including A.G. Cooke, Danny question because Jenny Beth and the first few lines completely OI’ve been lucky enough to see L Harle and GFOTY) were all herA band are conflicted: “Is it human and defiant unaccompanied before the sound him twice. This time he played in attendance. To an outsider (and to adore life?” of a guitar screeches against a high at Village Underground, one of song he’s to nearly everyone else in the Savages stream of post-punk is note. ‘T.I.W.Y.G.’ starts off heavy London’s most hip venues. With audience) they were inconspicuous extremely accessible and flirts with collection with pummelling guitars which each successive live performance – they looked like every other ironic all sorts of sounds. The quartet act as an instrumental response to he has debuted new material to the produced is hipster in the crowd. None of them come together brilliantly; Gemma “That’s what you get when you mess audience and each time a new song have really seen the same success as Thompson on guitar provides of songs with love.” is debuted the reaction is the same: SOPHIE (although GFOTY will grizzly riffs, Ayse Hassan on bass Despite all the problems life pure unadulterated joy. calculated be supporting Animal Collective controls the tempo of each song and guitars and then the drums kick in might throw at us, Beth insists that The hyper-consumerist (yes, his on a number of tour dates later this Faye Milton’s drums help induce and trick the listener into believing life is still worth loving (like many debut album is called PRODUCT) year). They too were probably in awe intense climaxes. And then there’s the song has reached it’s peak. romantic relationships, it’s worth it nature of SOPHIE’s music and and refined and will want to emulate his simple Jehnny Beth, with a voice that Eventually, it comes to a halt; there’s for the good bits). Adore Life, on aesthetic means that nearly every yet iconic live performance. wanders and wanes. a brief moment of silence which is the other hand, is all good and their song he’s produced is calculated here for songs like ‘Lemonade,’ The set ended with ‘When I ‘The Answer’ starts the album with broken by Beth when she asserts: best album yet – an assured and and refined to be addictive and with its comical bubbling, or ‘Hard.’ Rule The World’ by LIZ, a song melodic guitars and the statement “I adore life.” The song grows into defiant collection of songs. Defiant. Photo Credit: Matador engaging. He reels his audience Everyone knows the words to every produced by SOPHIE last year. I get that fizzy feeling and I want lemonade. Photo Credit: Cale Tilford in with obscure, yet oddly familiar song, but then you’d expect that LIZ sings “You should do as I say PAID ADVERT sounds. His use and appropriation when the lyrics are so basic - which cause things are gonna be my way.” a small, devoted fan base – but won’t be long before SOPHIE and of these is most obvious on his is probably why SOPHIE has done At the moment, Samuel Long and with more collaborations like this the rest of his friends will rule the recent collaboration, ‘Let’s Ride’ so well. the rest of PC Music might have and energetic live performances, it musical world. Upcoming gigs Fresh Hair Savages before breakfast More is sublime; those at the front were by Beth’s presence. The rest of the Student cuts! graced by her presence. At times band are more subdued, probably in she reaches towards members of need of a few more hours in bed. the crowd, holds their shoulder Their latest album is brilliant by John Fresh itself, I didn’t expect it to gain much (formerly of Fresh Hairdressers) from a live setting, but it does – and NME Awards Tour, 02 Brixton Iglooghost, The Waiting Room Oneothrix Point Never, Village th th th Replacing I implore anyone to see Savages on Academy 11 February 19 February Underground 24 February their upcoming world tour. At one Sure, NME might be irrelevant Recommended for fans of Flying One of electronic music’s great Offering high quality hairdressing for point, Beth jokes that watching this now, but they can still put together Lotus. Iglooghost was recently innovators, Oneothrix Point Never, intoxication gig was the best excuse for being a great line up. Expect music from signed to FlyLo’s Brainfeeder label will be bleeping and blooping again men for only £22 and women just £28 late to work and that we were all Bloc Party’s divisive new album. and released the weird and wonky at the Village Underground after employees of the month. Even if Chinese Nu Yr EP last year. playing last November. Call me on 0207 823 8968 with a I had been late for something, I email: [email protected] would have started the day more or book on line from my website awake than any cup of coffee could www.freshhairdressers.co.uk coffee ever induce. Strictly appointment only as I am the only stylist at this high works salon offering a student discount. Look at all these people who are going to be late for work. Photo Credit: Cale Tilford surprisingly Cash only please! Cale Tilford create a reaction with their live act, without alcohol, is a weird one. But John Fresh operates within the Music Editor something more than static head replacing intoxication with a coffee Salon Rene Aubrey bobbing. Watching the video for high works surprisingly well. well Chvrches, Royal Albert Hall Mura Masa, Oval Space Animal Collective, Shepards 39 Old Brompton road ‘The Answer,’ the first song on their Lead singer Jehnny Beth charms 31st March 7th April Bush Empire 11th April SW7 3HZ n interviews, Savages have new album Adore Life, you might even at such an early time in the and sings to them, as if there’s no Their latest album might not have Guernsey born youngster, We’ve only heard snippets of their always described themselves expect a Savages gig to be a messy, morning. In between songs she one else in the room. There is one been great, but their live act is still Alexander Crossan, impressed last upcoming album so far. FloriDada 80 meters from South Ken as a live band: “you don’t explosive affair. I expect it might be confidently sips her cup of tea to moment on ‘Adore’ where the band fantastic. If you missed them at year with his experimental EP signals an interesting direction for tube just past the understand who we are unless if it wasn’t at 8:45 in the morning. the amusement of the crowd. Her are silent; the crowd match this Alexandra Palace in November Someday Somewhere mixing hip- the band. Expect a colourful and Lamborghini show room Iyou see us play live.” They aim to The idea of a gig before work, performance throughout the set absence of sound in awe, enchanted Photo Credit: Cale Tilford you’re in for a treat. hop and trap. extravagant performance. th th PAGE 24 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 PAGE 25

ARTS [email protected] ARTS [email protected]

The ancient art of being illustrated Ben WilliamsHit &a thousand Miss heartbeats too long. at Knock2Bag Comedy Indira Mallik Kate Moss is the proud owner of Writer The headline performance by Sam Arts Editor two swallows inked on the small of Simmons, was undeniably dire - her back by Lucien Freud. She has resh outta West Basement, surprising coming from the winner kin as a blank canvas is not a joked that were she to graft the skin this comedy virgin headed of this year’s Foster’s Comedy new idea; Ötzi the Iceman, and put it up for auction she could out to meet Knock2Bag. award. Watching him on stage is frozen sometime between earn herself a few million pounds. Hailed by Time Out as like seeing a walrus in headlights. 3239 and 3105 BCE had Fine art institutions have some of the best comedy in the East You can smell the fat frying. a tattoo. Inking or marking skin already started to capitalise on the FEnd at brilliant value, it had a lot to Worse – and maybe, maybe, Sunites cultures and continents popularity of tattoos. In May 2014, live up to. it’s just that moustache (and the across the ages. Musée du Quai Branly, Paris, On the menu this month – a four suspenders) but there’s something Until recently in the West, hosted 'Tatoueurs, Tatoués', or course slap up of sexuality, served up downright creepy about his act. tattoos have been seen as a mark of Tattooists, Tattooed, an exhibition light with a little Irish on the side. It’s more than a hint of voyeuristic belonging to a counterculture. They which explored the history of body Each set follows a strict fifteen- shopkeeper – stacking up cans of are so subversive that in 1995 The art. cheap lines without the courage to New York Times art critic Michael Tattoos occupy the same space Fifteen do anything more than grope at his Kimmelman likened tattoos to the as graffiti in the world of art, the audience. ‘art of the insane’. establishment doesn’t quite know minutes can I should have taken the fact that However, now one in three what to do with it. Tattoos cannot Jessie Cave (that’s Lavender Brown adults in Britain has a tattoo. easily be locked up in glass cases to you, IC) had pulled out last Even in ubiquity, tattoos remain or bartered for; not yet at least, be a thousand minute as a sign. Like that point in Foster’s award funny man Sam Simmons. Photo Credit: Sam Simmons, Death of a Sails-man controversial; a quick poll in the though the Wellcome Collection a crap date where you pay your half FELIX office revealed tattoos to does in fact have a collection of heartbeats of the bill and suddenly remember part of the act, but it doesn’t define it. a rough taste). However, the really kind of Mr. Bean. It’s blunt physical be variously ‘hot’ , akin to ‘gangrene’ preserved tattooed skins. For most that your house burning down. We don’t just get ‘gay’ Mae. Whether fantastic thing is that it doesn’t comedy. In the format of a fifteen to ‘putting people at risk of missing however, inking their skin remains too long Fortunately, Knock2Bag had Mae it’s that dick joke about her brother matter where you are on the debate, minute piece though, there just isn’t a dermatological condition’. No the ultimate expression of bodily Martin to prove me absolutely and and her dad – or her willingness to you’ll laugh all the same. At basics, enough build an explosive, funny prizes for guessing the latter was the autonomy; now as for centuries, a minute limit, so this is more a tease completely wrong. I’ll admit there’s talk about her last boyfriend,this Martin says – the world is just too ending that’s believable. opinion of a medical student. way of marking personal history. The than a full on strip, but as a means a chink in my stone critics heart act is remarkable for it’s openness. crazy to take seriously. Who could Overall, for the price – £8 online Tattoos when inked well and well pain of the process becomes a ritual; of getting newer comics involved, it for a girl who can stand on stage There are definite influences of that disagree with that? (£12 on the door) – the value is very placed (collarbones are a personal it’s permanence a statement of works. and laugh about her sexuality. The undefeatable ‘gay’ gallows humour Other notable performances decent. Just come prepared for a few favourite) can be beautiful, but can artistic intent, that the art changes, Maud Wagner, the first known female tattooist in the US 1911. In 1907, she That said, fifteen minutes can be beautiful thing here is that this is (see Eighty-Sixed by Feinberg for included Spencer Jones, as a rougher nose dives along the way. Tattoo by Kirsten Holliday, they be defined as fine art? sagging, stretching, shifting with traded a date with her husband-to-be for tattoo lessons. Photo Credit: Margot Wonderland Tattoo, Portand, Oregon, Perhaps it depends on the artist; changing skin is a bonus. Mifflin USA Photo Credit: Kirsten Holliday Subterranean arts festival promises to surprise That the Science of Cartography Is Limited Jingjie Cheng The show won a Fringe First Arts Editor Award for new writing in Edinburgh —and not simply by the fact that this shading of in 2015. forest cannot show the fragrance of balsam, ave you ever wondered the gloom of cypresses, what goes on Clowning workshops is what I wish to prove. underneath London’s The Art of Hysteria – 6th Feb, £12 famous “graffiti tunnel” Clown Smasher workshop – 1847, when the crop had failed twice, that is Leake Street, near Waterloo 27th Feb, £10 Relief Committees gave station? The festival feature two clowning the starving Irish such roads to build. H Halfway down the tunnel is workshops, with a “hysterical” one, the entrance to The Vaults, a 'The Art of Hysteria', celebrating Where they died, there the road ended subterranean labyrinth of creative the new play Hysterical, and another space and entertainment. For the one by the Fringe First nominated and ends still and when I take down third year running, the venue will Helen Duff. 'Clown Smasher' will the map of this island, it is never so be home to the Vault Festival, a be a mix of solo improvisation and I can say here is six-week event jam-packed with The Vault. Photo Credit: We Are Full Fat PR collaborative games. Why not take the masterful, the apt rendering of exciting shows and workshops – a break from work and learn a new the spherical as flat, nor London’s cousin to the Edinburgh Vault Surge which include activities like “speed- returning home from battle and the skill (and maybe cheer your friends an ingenious design which persuades a curve Fringe. Built on the philosophy of Throughout the festival gaming” – speed dating for gamers! bond between soldiers. up)? into a plane, “reinventing the non-funded creative Vault Surge is an in-house but to tell myself again that sector”, the line up is refreshing programme of workshops, The Devil Speaks True Tar Baby The Forest and promises to surprise with the discussions and shows (mostly free) 17th – 27th Feb at the Cage, £16 10th –14th Feb at Brick Hall, £16 24th Feb – 6th Mar, £16 the line which says woodland and cries hunger unexpected and experimental. running throughout the festival. In this immersive performance Subtitled with “Let’s beat the shit This hour-long experience is an and gives out among sweet pine and cypress, On Wednesdays to Sundays every Designed to encourage conversation theatre, you are cast as Banquo out of racism”, this solo theatrical immersive, multi-sensory test that and finds no horizon week between the 27th of January to in the arts, these include artist from Macbeth in a story tracing event takes a hard look at the story claims to “revolutionise the way you the 6th March, the Vault Festival will surgeries, new acts performed in his journey from the battlefield of race in America. Using history, process data” and “give an insight will not be there. host more than a hundred theatre, the restaurant within, as well as to banquet table. With the help autobiography and current events, into the functionality of your brain”. cabaret and comedy performances. Femme Fierce – UK’s largest all of headphones, video projections the interactive show comments on Is your brain a computer chip that Here is a selection of FELIX Arts’ female street art and graffiti festival. and live performance, the show minority experiences on the other can be debugged? Yeah, I’m curious Poem : excerpt from 'That the science of cartography is limited' by Eavan Boland. Image: 'Empty Kingdom' by Edward Burtynsky top picks. Not to mention the Vault Fundays, focuses on the effects of war on men side of the Atlantic. to find out what that means, too. th th PAGE 26 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 PAGE 27

TV [email protected] TV [email protected]

Cartoon Corner: Rickconventional, & superficial Morty andweird or out-of-place, instead Making a Murderer somewhat jealous of Morty having always cooming naturally. Harry Wilkinson explanations for the evidence that simple adolescent antics, the reality all the fun. These characters get An example of a more softcore Writer Avery’s defence presents, as well of which is much more disturbing. increasingly involved in different incident is when Morty gets tired of as the prosecution’s explanations He was arrested and jailed three and interesting ways as the show all the crazy stuff he’s put through (or lack thereof ). However, as this times prior to his false accusation, goes along, though sometimes the and goes full on berserk mode, à la aking a Murderer, features events spanning from 1985 for burglary of a local store, assault subplots leave much to be desired. the purge. released to stream on to 2014, focussing on a case that of his cousin and, most shockingly, Seeing Rick have a go at Jerry never This clever and inventive show Netflix in December itself had over 200 hours worth of for dousing his cat in gasoline and loses its charm. The characters are is the epitome of high-concept 2015, is Netflix’s evidence presented, there are, of setting it on fire. Omissions such as written so well that the viewers storytelling, with a healthy dose second foray into documentary course, omissions that one could these serve only to undermine the even care for characters who show of hilarity and poignant character Mfilmmaking after the mostly ignored take issue with. purpose of the documentary which moments mixed in now and Chef ’s Table. It has already been The series does suffer slightly should not be to paint Avery as a again for sustained emotional and described by many as the service’s in that it undoubtedly has bias saint, but to display the mishandling This punch. Many of these episodes are most addictive program yet. and sabotaging of the case by standalone, though there is a greater The series follows the story the Manitowoc Country Sheriff clever and focus on continuity as the show of Steven Avery, a resident of Department. evolves. Manitowoc County, Wisconsin, The series I would, despite this, unreservedly However, this is nothing too convicted of a crime he did not recommend watching the series, inventive taxing and the creators know just commit, serving 18 years in prison does suffer if for no other reason than to join how much to lean on it so that future before being found innocent in the cultural phenomenon it has show is the developments carry more weight. At through DNA exoneration. He become. times, Rick and Morty becomes its then decided to sue the county slightly Warning: The rest of this review Let’s get Schwifty!. Photo Credit: Adult Swim own worst enemy, becoming slightly sheriff ’s department for $36 million will contain spoilers. epitome less innovative and repeating old for the gross mishandling of his in that it In the short time since its release, Saad Ahmed scientist, and his gullible grandson a lonely, troubled, haunted past. storylines. However, even these case. However, before the case can the show has reached memetic status, Television Editor Morty, who go on various crazy The viewer is also exposed to a less episodes are written wonderfully, be settled, Avery is accused of the with a change.org petition calling for and dangerous adventures across nuanced part of his personality – a of high- and if they’re the worst the show has murder of a woman named Teresa undoubtedly President Obama to release Steven alternate universes and different real and deep concern for his family. to offer, it speaks volumes about the Halbach, the trial of which makes Avery reaching nearly 450,000 ometimes considered a loose Meanwhile, we see Morty grow and concept overall quality. up to bulk of the series’ runtime. signatures, despite such an action and boisterous reimaging evolve, becoming more confident, For a show that was initially an What follows is an incredibly has bias being outside of the President’s of Doc Brown and Marty, Amidst taking initiative and standing up to adults-only Back to the Future harrowing look into police and jurisdiction. It has also inspired Rick and Morty is a fun Rick now and again. storytelling parody, Rick and Morty has now judicial corruption and misconduct. in Steven many couch detectives giving their and wild, animated science-fiction these mad Besides these two, other characters become something much more There is evidence presented of theories on what really happened to Sshow where things are anything but with their own traits feature, each up only a couple of times like bird special. With the successful formula the police department, planting Avery’s Teresa Halbach. People have been classic Sci-Fi. If you haven’t heard of bringing something new to the person (P.S. F*** Tammy). of merging high-concept sci-fi evidence, coercing witnesses and blaming anyone from her brother this show by now, you’ve either been hijinks, the table. The most prominent of them Amidst these mad hijinks, storytelling with biting humour improperly handling the legal to her roommate, to the police subjugated by the rule of the canines is the rest of Rick and Morty’s the show has some dark and and a dash of emotionally complex proceedings of the case, among favour department themselves for her Who is responsible when an innocent man is sent to prison? Photo Credit: Netflix or are trapped in a minverse, inside a show has dysfunctional family. These include uncomfortable moments in which character development, this show other equally disturbing acts. murder. To make such unfounded miniverse, inside a miniverse inside his parents Beth, Morty’s assertive, Rick and Morty are put through is always a blast to watch, and I What is interesting about this accusations goes against the very a large contributing factor to its your car battery. level-headed and dissatisfiedpretty extreme stuff. While a little highly recommend it if you haven’t documentary is the depth to which in Steven Avery’s favour. This purpose of the documentary, that it There are, success, and one that makes it hit so The show’s creator is Dan some dark mother, and Jerry, his insecure father disconcerting to watch, these watched it yet. it investigates and presents the story. manifests mainly in downplaying is not okay to accuse someone of a close to home for so many people. Harmon, also well known for who severely disapproves of Rick. moments help shape our characters And that’s the waaaayyy we go!! Where one might usually expect some of the darker parts of Avery’s crime just because of your personal The most harrowing part of being the guy behind the comedy Morty’s older sister Summer when moving forward. It is also a such a documentary to cover this past, most egregiously dismissing feelings toward them. of course, the documentary is the interview show Community. As any fans moments also graces the screen more as the sign of the greatness of the show- Rick and Morty is available on in around two hours, this series Avery’s criminal activity prior to Many members of the Manitowoc of Brendan Dassey, Avery’s of Community can tell you, Dan show progresses, with her being moments such as these never seem Adult Swim has ten hours to provide lengthy his false conviction for rape as Sheriff ’s Department featured omissions nephew. The video shows two Harmon is know for not following sectors of space. experienced detectives coercing the classic tropes you see on most The major crux of the show is and manipulating a 16 year-old media. His style is his own unique the interplay between Rick and that one into admitting to committing thing, doing away with typical Morty, which never gets old. Rick various heinous actions on Halbach clichés entirely or portraying them is depicted as a genius scientist, could take including, but not limited to, rape, with a different spin. full of witty one-liners, preferring torture and murder. Rick and Morty is no exception to live free and party hard, always Throughout the interrogation it with the show either parodying considering himself superior to issue with is clear that Dassey does not fully several sci-fi tropes and/or taking others. Morty, in contrast, is good- realise the consequences of what them in wild and over-the-top natured but easily distressed and is in the show have had to release he is saying, and is just saying directions. The payoff is a bizarre but frequently shown to be reluctant and statements providing their views whatever he thinks the detectives highly entertaining and humorous disapproving of his grandfather’s on the documentary, with most want to hear in order to go home. set of episodes that’ll have you methods resulting in several causes dismissing it, claiming it skips huge The interrogation was eventually craving the next installment. For of friction and drama between the swathes of evidence that implicate deemed to be inadmissible in example, in an inception-style two. Avery in the murder. However, none court but not before the District episode, our main characters enter The characters may seem a little have responded to the claims of Attorneys describe in graphic detail a dream, within a dream, within a one-dimensional at first, but as evidence planting laid against them. all that was said, diminishing both dream, for the purpose of convincing the series progresses, we gain more The documentary certainly came Avery’s and Dassey’s chances to win Morty’s math teacher to give him insight into the development and at the right time. With so much fair trials. better grades. layers of our protagonists. For discussion all over the US on police The series features Rick, an example, behind Rick’s brash, corruption and unfair treatment Making a Murderer is available on old, outlandish and alcoholic arrogant and lively exterior, there’s Standing with your family. Photo Credit: Adult Swim Steven Avery – the victim of the story Photo Credit: Netflix of minorities, this is undoubtedly Netflix th PAGE 28 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2015 felixonline.co.uk

PUZZLES [email protected] Across 1 Heavy, starchy and hard to digest (6) 4 Basra residents (6) 9 State of difficulty that needs to be resolved (7) 10 Preserved, in a way (5) 11 Discharge; evacuate (5) 12 Inane (7) 13 Discover something by chance by acting blindly or foolishly (7,4) FUCWIT 18/20 Doing something independently (5,2,5) 20 See 18 Solo Efforts 22 Additional (5) 1st Cherry Kwok 159 23 Tornado (7) 2nd Nicholas Sim 158 24 Type of instrument used in 25, 1 Dn, 6 and 21 (6) 3rd Greg Poyser 42 25 Chamber group (1) (6) th 4 Ayojedi 33 Down th =5 Jan Xu 13 1 Chamber group (2) (6) =5th Sach Patel 13 2 Colourless gas soluble in alkalis and cold water (5) 7th Harry Secrett 10 3 Glue made from animal extracts (7) 8th Joshua Wan 8 5 Spokes (5) 9th Ho Chin 7.5 6 Chamber group (3) (7) th 7 Win over (6) =10 Grace Chin 3 8 One nickname for New York (6,5) =10th Jeremy Ong 3 14 Fishing spear with three prongs (7) 15 Enigma, I? (anag) (7) Groups 16 Exit (6) 1st Pufuletzi 78 17 Wish undone (6) 2nd Gap Yahhhh 53.5 19 Silo contents (5) 3rd CP Fanclub 51 21 Chamber group (4) (5) 4th Parmesan 9.5

Points Available 18 Crossword 5 Nonogram 4 Sudoku 2 Word wheel 2 Riddle 1

Solutions

Email your solutions to [email protected] before midday Wednesday!

Riddles 1. Identify the next number in the sequence 31, 28, 31, 30, __? 2. H, Be, F, S, Mn, Kr, In, Gd, Tl, ? What’s the next in the sequence ? 3. Replace the # symbols with mathematical operations (add, less, multiply or divide) such that the following becomes correct: 9 # 8 # 7 # 6 # 5 # 4 = 91. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 29

HANGMAN [email protected] NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

“Sorry Mr Trump, but you don’t abide by our safe MEDICS UNSUCCESSFUL IN SECOND ATTEMPT space policy.” TO GET TO BELGIUM TAURUS CANCER GEMINI VIRGO ARIES HOROSCOPES LEO

This week, unable to find This week you’re every sports This week, you try and This week, your hook up your This week, you change your This week you read the entire any news for your weekly club at Imperial. Tired of impress girls from American new virtual reality headset name by deed poll to Google green paper. All 105 pages! newspaper, you make the your own antics, you realise universities at the union by to Panopto, making your the in the hope that you can fool Damn, you must really love whole thing up. Every word. that nothing you ever do will referring to FELIX’s guide most powerful dork at the HMRC into only having to higher education. You’re Even the horoscopes. Will get you into the Daily Mail to American politics on page whole of Imperial. However, pay 3% income tax. Googling disappointed at the ending anyone notice? Or will they again. Those Warwick rowers 13. It’s all going well until drunk on power, you moon yourself will never be the though; it wasn’t about weed just assume every article is a get in every year with their she’s sees the article coming the lecture theatre, but as same again. at all. BORING. finely crafted piece of well- naked charity calendar. Grrr. out of your pocket. I love you watch lectures from the researched truth? Is it? that guy, she says, pointing at M&M store now, you get a Trump. Ah well, nearly. life ban. SCORPIO AQUARIUS SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES LIBRA

This week, your comment This week, you start raiding This week you decide to run You apply to every position This week you are a famous This week you are a RIGHT under a Secrets of Imperial ‘Imperial Memes’ for ‘Secrets in the Big Elections, sorry in the elections. Genius! No rapper called Bob. Your wingin’, BITTER clinging, post gets 20 likes. Shut the of Imperial’ shit to post. This the Really Quite Large one’s ever done that before. tweet about the Earth being PROOOOOOUD clingers front door. You call your works quite well, because elections. No actually, we’ve God you’re so hilarious. Ha flat makes internationalof.... ourgunsourgod OUR.... mum, explaining she doesn’t no one on Secrets even just had word they’re now ha ha. headlines. Where is the and our religion! You decide need to worry about the remembers memes, they the Presidential Elections. curve? Have you been to the to endorse Donald Trump mortgage anymore because were too busy doing their We mean Bellend Selections. edge? Once you go flat, you because you’re mad and you’ve made it now. Congrats. A-Levels. This is quite a good Oh wait, no, our fault, they’re never go back. you’ve been had. idea actually. actually the Leadership Elections. felixonline.co.uk FRIDAY 29th JANUARY 2016 PAGE 31

GAMES [email protected] That Dragon, Cancer Numinous Games’ debut adventure is great, but you probably shouldn’t play it

Cale Tilford cancer. Amy is full of hope and faith Music Editor in God, while Ryan despairs. These two opposing ideas become central themes of the narrative. If you don’t he titular metaphor of have children this is a game worth Ryan and Amy Green’s playing. If you’ve been through the autobiographical same ordeal as the Greens it might exploration game – be comforting. For everyone else that cancer is a dragon – is used That Dragon, Cancer might just be toT describe their young son’s too depressing. condition to a more innocent audience. Cancer is a beast that is likely to haunt most of us directly Modern or indirectly throughout our lives. The sheer power of the word cancer games rarely makes it a hard subject to discuss and communicate. ‘That Dragon, Cancer’ is the first (mainstream) make us game to explore cancer and its effect on the families of sufferers; it think; portrays a difficult struggle between hope and despair, acknowledging that we all react in different ways. we play them Waiting for bad news. Photo Credit: Numinous Games While it is the story of one family – it’s unfortunately a struggle that to escape the beautiful, with murky dreamscapes the best medium to relay personal books and film, games are still in many other parents will have to and dark tree like structures experiences. And it’s likely that their infancy. endure. It’s definitely an emotional haunting the landscape (which act virtual reality will enhance these We shouldn’t judge games by their game, however, it’s affect on each real world as the physical representation of sort of games even further. Gamers ability to make us cry or scream. player is likely to differ based on cancer in the game). everywhere should welcome this Evoking such extreme reactions their own experiences and their The presentation of a narrative Modern games rarely make us growing category. is relatively easy. It’s the complex, ability to imagine parenthood. I felt driven game is always important. It’s think; we play them to escape the However, there is still some subtle emotions that a player feels awful for Ryan and Amy, but having obvious that a long time has been real world, to take part in fantastical resistance to games like That that make That Dragon, Cancer a child feels like such a distant spent making the game flawless in experiences that would otherwise Dragon, Cancer; many question so powerful. It’s not a game that event to me that there was some this respect. To make the game even be impossible. So why is there a if they should really be called demands introspection, but by its emotional disconnect. It still made more personal, the Green family growing trend of indie developers games. Personally, I don’t think this end you’ll look back at your own me think how I might react if I was provide the voice acting themselves. creating games about their own question needs to be answered; we life and question how you might ever in the same situation, which They narrate scenes and read out lives? There’s been a (not so) don’t need another category of art. respond in the same situation. is something I’ve never wanted to letters placed throughout the world sudden realisation that a medium This sometimes divisive reaction consider. It’s clear that Ryan and with emotional performances. where you can actually control and indicates that the art form is still That Dragon, Cancer is out Amy react differently to their son’s The abstracted polygonal world is interact with the world is probably maturing – when compared to now on Steam

Playing videogames. Photo Credit: Numinous Games th PAGE 32 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON FRIDAY 29 JANUARY 2016 felixonline.co.uk

GAMES [email protected] Rolling in the deep (space) Tharsis is a brutally hard space survival strategy game, with dice

Cale Tilford defeat. Music Editor Dice essentially act as an in-game currency which you can spend protecting your ship’s health, the iendishly difficult games four members of your crew, and their have proven popular with stress levels. Each turn (you must gamers in recent years. complete ten before you arrive on Most of these games Mars) new problems appear on your require fast reactions and an ship, ranging from fires to a blue Fintimate understanding of each screen of death. Micromanagement level or enemy. Tharsis is as difficult as games like Dark Souls and Bloodborne and it should be. Your You start spacecraft is on it’s way to Mars. It has just been hit by a meteorite and you’ve lost two members of your to curse crew. Your chances of survival are infinitesimally small – you might never beat this game because it’s all your down to luck. It’s emulating real life. Most games hide their randomness, the chance of a player’s luck in Those are some pretty dice. Photo Credit: Choice Provisions success in a given situation, beneath layers of code. In RPG’s there’s a this choice, and your dice are from Tharsis is sublime. Each module difficulty might be off-putting for small chance your attack will deliver defeat that point onwards stained in blood of the ship is beautifully rendered many. In the playthrough where I a ‘critical hit’ and in other games and that character’s total life is and the lighting gives a real sense finally succeeded (it took about six different events will randomly is the key to success and the game permanently reduced by one. It’s the of emergency when all is about to tries with each unsuccessful run occur at any given time. So when does a good job of teaching you game’s way of saying that a part of be lost. Planning out your strategy lasting from ten to 20 minutes), things aren’t in your favour, the where your priorities should lie your soul has just died. each turn requires concentration every member of my crew ate player often feels frustrated. Tharsis after each successive death. One of Even when the dice aren’t red they and the accompanying music human flesh. Tharsis teaches that is painfully hard, but by exposing these is food – which is essential to look astonishingly realistic and the does a lot to mitigate the stress. sacrifice is necessary to achieve the its randomness – in the form of survival and replenishes your dice. physics have been perfectly refined The chill electronica never grows impossible; a sacrifice that many rolling dice – it removes part of the When you’re really low on dice and (definitely turn your rumble on if old, sounding like a subdued Tron might not choose to make. frustration. Rather than resenting you have no food, the game gives you’re playing with a controller) to soundtrack. the developers for building a ‘mean’ you an unforgivable choice – do make every roll incredibly satisfying. Choice Provisions have developed Tharsis is out now on game, you start to curse your luck in you resort to cannibalism? Make In general, the presentation of a great game, but I feel like its Steam and PSN

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Photo Credit: The Witness, Thekla Inc.