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October 2005 Issue 5

From The Desk Of

CONTENTS: Mister Raroo

From The Desk Of Welcome to our special Halloween issue! Mister Raroo . . . 1 Halloween is especially meaningful to Missus Raroo and me because it is our Enter The wedding anniversary. Obviously, then, we . . 2 couldn’t let the October issue roll by without talking about games that are perfect plays Assassinating for a spooky Halloween night. Gaming Standbys: Since there are so many games suitable for Halloween, it was tough to narrow it ...... 9 down to just a handful for this issue. We decided just to trust our instincts and select Art Time With to write about the games that had some Shawnimal . . . . 16 special meaning to us. Luigi’s Mansion , for example, will always remind me of the good Just My Type times I had playing it with our nephew Mario Of Game . . . . . 18 while playing Splatterhouse helps me to fondly recall my teenage years. To us, the The Suckiest most special games are the ones that hold Game Ever: Luigi’s some type of sentimental value. Mansion ...... 24 Thanks to Shawnimal for providing appropriately spooky artwork. And, as usual, Missus Raroo really worked her little Game booty off on formatting, editing, and Reviews: In One basically making sure what you hold in your Sentence . . . . . 28 hands is high quality. Thanks for reading!

Drop us a line and give us your thoughts: [email protected]

back that a update to the series was in development, but obviously nothing came to fruition. There was also loose talk of Splatterhouse finding its way onto the Playstation 2, but again nothing surfaced. Perhaps someday Rick will again have to enter a haunted mansion in search of his girlfriend, but until then, may I present a look at the four Splatterhouse games.

Enter The Splatterhouse Splatterhouse (Arcade, 1988; Turbografx-16/PC-Engine, 1990; FM Towns Marty, 1992) When Splatterhouse was brought to the Turbografx-16, the graphics GROWING UP , I HAD A SOFT SPOT FOR and especially the gore weren’t quite up to the arcade’s benchmark, THE MACABRE . I had an affinity for but it was no slouch in its own right. The Japanese release actually cheesy slasher flicks, loved death retains a bit more of the arcade’s gruesome scenes, but the United metal, and always made sure to visit States version is still quite satisfying as well. In fact, at the time it the Haunted Mansion with every debuted, Splatterhouse was probably one of the more gruesome Disneyland trip. I didn’t discriminate games I’d ever played, despite being censored for US audiences. and enjoyed all kinds of gory fun, Zombies are smashed into piles of sludge, lamprey-like worms but I did have a special taste for the pounce at you, and a chainsaw-wielding madman tries to carve you more comical, goofy forms of horror to bits. It’s great stuff! entertainment. It’s no wonder, then, Despite my massive admiration of Splatterhouse, I do have to that Splatterhouse was one of the admit that it isn’t anything first games I purchased once I was groundbreaking. Controlling Rick a proud Turbografx-16 owner. is rudimentary: one button Debuting as an in makes him jump and the 1988, ’s Splatterhouse is other makes him attack. noteworthy for pushing the gore Throughout the levels, envelope into an over-the-top and Rick can find weapons almost-hilarious level. The game like a two-by-four and follows the cliché “rescue your a shotgun which help girlfriend” storyline that’s been used add a little variety countless times before, although as and make things the series progressed the plot easier, but they became a little more involved. don’t change the Basically, your character Rick (who looks like Jason from the Friday basic gameplay. the 13 th movies ) needs to enter a spooky, haunted mansion and Nevertheless, the brawl his way through ghoul after ghoul so that he can rescue his game’s straightforward girlfriend Jennifer. It’s pretty basic, but what makes Splatterhouse design doesn’t hinder its so special is that the content really caters to fans of the ghastly and fun,t and sometimes it’s almost appalling, which means it was perfect for me! a relief to put on a game like To date, the Splatterhouse series consists of four games and has Splatterhouse to sort of “cleanse the found its way onto a variety of consoles. Rumors persisted years

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 gaming palate” after playing the more complicated and tiring games system is able to churn out some high-quality tunes. All of the that are so common today. background music is fittingly atmospheric and very well composed. One of my favorite memories of the game is that my dad actually Be sure to plug in your headphones for the full stereo sound and gave it a compliment. It might sound like no big deal, but for my dad lose yourself in the game! to even acknowledge a game’s existence, let alone give it some Ultimately, though, Splatterhouse 2 is a lot like the first game. praise, is quite an occasion indeed. The incident happened one cool The fundamental gameplay is almost identical, with only improved winter evening as we sat in the same room. My dad was busy graphics and a substantially increased difficulty being the only “new” preparing for a course he was teaching while I was occupied trying factors brought to the table. The rarity and relatively high price of to guide Rick through a creepy chapel. Suddenly I heard a voice secondhand copies may not be worth the time and trouble needed to proclaim, “These are good graphics!” If only the Turbografx track one down since the game doesn’t really provide anything that advertising gurus would’ve known what high praise this was, they gamers didn’t already experience in the first game. That said, I could’ve used it to market the game. I can imagine a sticker on the really enjoy Splatterhouse 2 for what it is and think it’s certainly game box enticing customers: “Mister Raroo’s dad says this game worth playing. has good graphics. Buy it!” Collectors of the rare and unusual should take special note that ( Genesis/Megadrive, 1993) an arcade-perfect version of Splatterhouse was released for the FM The final game in the series takes a significantly different approach Towns Marty, a PC-like console from . Whether or not to the formula. Even though Splatterhouse 2 was a solid game, seeking out and purchasing a FM Towns Marty and a copy of Namco finally tried something new by doing away with the standard Splatterhouse is a good decision I’ll leave up to you. sidescrolling mechanics and instead incorporating movement akin to games like Final Hmm… I wonder if this is Fight, Streets of some kind of advance Rage, and . In other warning that the Mister is words, Rick not only going to be hunting down a moves left and right, FM Towns Marty next? but he has 3D movement in eight directions. Rick also Splatterhouse 2 (/Megadrive, 1992) has a slightly deeper I didn’t find the first Splatterhouse to be particularly challenging, but repertoire of moves this sequel is really tough for me. Perhaps Namco heard complaints at his disposal, about the original being too easy and decided to ramp up the making the beat-em- difficulty in this follow-up. Whatever the case, I think this may be the up gameplay more toughest of the four Splatterhouse games. engaging. Since the game was designed from the ground up for the Sega In addition, the Genesis, it takes full advantage of the system’s strengths. The role of Rick’s mask multi-plane backgrounds look superb and the hoards of gruesome takes on more of an enemies are full of impressive detail. Namco didn’t hold back when integral component it came to the gross stuff, either, so fans of grisly horror will be in of the plot and gore heaven. Many people have criticized the Sega Genesis’ sound gameplay, giving capabilities, but I think Splatterhouse 2 ’s music proves that the players the ability to

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 turn Rick into a super-powered zombie- I’ve already mentioned this particular Splatterhouse game in two smashing machine. Powering up Rick’s other issues of Game Time , so needless to say I really think it’s a mask is accomplished through collecting wonderful entry into the series. The game doesn’t fit into the trilogy, orbs throughout the rooms and once but instead is a “gaiden” installment more than anything else. While enough orbs have been captured, you there is still plenty of gore, Wanpaku Graffiti has a very distinct can let all Hell break loose. It’s best to atmosphere that separates it from its brethren. The game takes a save Rick’s special power for tough much more comical route than the other Splatterhouse games and spots and boss battles, but powering him its lighthearted nature makes it stand out as of the four. up again is quick and easy enough. The same gameplay set-up as the original Splatterhouse applies Progression isn’t nearly as linear as in Wanpaku Graffiti , but the big exception is that instead of using his the previous games. Rather, Rick now fists as the primary attack, Rick is equipped with a cleaver from the moves from room to room and usually get-go. Still, hacking instead of punching doesn’t make too much of has a choice of which room to enter a difference and Splatterhouse veterans will feel right at home within next. Hardcore strategists can sit and just a couple minutes. In fact, the biggest difference isn’t so much in study the map in order to plan the most the swapping of punches for cleaver chops but instead it’s in the efficient route to the boss, whereas amount of platform jumping that Rick is required to do. Even though adamant completists have the option to visit each and every room. the other Splatterhouse occasionally require Rick to hop over While some gamers may miss the classic left-to-right scrolling of the enemies or pits, Wanpaku Graffiti at times takes the jumping in other three games, having the stages broken up into room-by-room a direction more akin to games like Super Mario Bros. or Megaman. segments makes it feel more like you’re actually exploring a huge For a Famicom mansion. title, Wanpaku Graffiti looks I’m kind of the Jennifer to the amazing. The super Mister’s Rick. But, since Mister deformed characters Raroo does not believe in physical are all drawn and violence, he more often defends animated well and my honor by talking big and using the backgrounds are creative prof anity. some of the Famicom’s best. Thankfully, the game is still very much Splatterhouse , so fans of From the lightning the series need not cringe at the changes. Rick is still smashing the strikes of the first crud out of all forms of undead menaces on his way to rescue stage to the creepy Jennifer and the atmosphere is still positively horrific. I particularly candlelit church later like the awesome and intricate detail in the backgrounds. in the game, every The programmers even managed to cram what appears to be full- level contains plenty motion video onto the cartridge! It’s obvious a lot of love and labor of eye candy. The went into Splatterhouse 3 and the new elements make for an enemy designs are interesting and fulfilling experience. While Splatterhouse 3 is really clever, too, certainly not to be missed, it’s the strange little offshoot Wanpaku ranging from possessed dolls and haunted furniture to headless Graffiti that takes the crown as my favorite Splatterhouse game. chickens and maniacal pumpkins. I particularly like slumbering little Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti (Famicom, 1989) girl who, after sending out waves after waves of creepy spiders from

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 her open chest, suddenly wakes up from a restful nap and calmly strolls off screen. One of the cutest parts about the game is that it parodies a lot of famous horror films and standbys. Everything from Friday the 13 th to Thriller to The Fly get their due. I usually don’t like cultural references or movie parodies very much because they serve only to makes movies and games quickly feel dated, but unlike titles such as Conker’s Bad Fur Day , Wanpaku Graffiti still feels pretty fresh. In Assassinating Gaming fact, the Thriller parody is more hilarious and terrifying now than it was meant to be because Michael Jackson has become creepier Standbys: Killer7 and weirder since Wanpaku Graffiti was released!

Have we seen the last of Splatterhouse? KILLER 7 IS ONE OF THE FRESHEST GAMES I’ VE PLAYED IN RECENT Even though Splatterhouse was popular enough to warrant four MEMORY . Unfortunately, it’s also a game that is destined to be entries in the series, the games were never massively successful. misunderstood, under appreciated, and downright disliked by many. Other than a brief cameo by Rick in Point Blank 3 and a subtle nod First announced in 2002, Killer7 is one of the so-called “ of the head in a haunted mansion area of 2, Namco seems Five,” which consists of PN 03 , Viewtiful Joe , Resident Evil 4 , Killer7 to have all but forgotten about Splatterhouse. Heck, no trace of and Dead Phoenix . They were all slated to be released solely for Splatterhouse could be found in the recent Namco x Capcom , Gamecube, but this exclusivity was more or less dropped seeing as despite the game including all kinds of obscure and forgotten Namco Viewtiful Joe , Resident Evil 4 , and Killer7 were also developed for characters. As mentioned before, there were rumors that the series Playstation 2. ( Dead Phoenix saw its development cancelled, would again see the light of day, but nothing ever came to pass. though there have been rumors that it might resurface). Of this Given the track record of classic game series being resurrected for group, Killer7 was the last of the bunch to be released. The long current consoles, it might be best that Splatterhouse is left to rest in development time definitely paid off, though, as the game gleams its grave. Still, in the right hands, a new Splatterhouse game could with a polish and originality like no other. be just what the doctor ordered.  I think the biggest obstacle faced by Killer7 is the fact that a minimal amount of information was revealed about it until shortly before its release, causing gamers to draw their own lofty With a name like Splatterhouse , is conclusions about what the game there any doubt that this series is would play like. When information perfect for Halloween? Old school finally surfaced on what type of gamers are advised to turn on their beast Killer7 truly was, many consoles, turn out the lights, and gamers, who had artificially inflated enjoy an evening of good old their own expectations of the game, fashioned zombie smackin’! were left disappointed. Instead of appreciating Killer7 for what it was, they instead chose to be angry at Killer7 for what it wasn’t. It’s a shame, too, because they are missing out on one of the most uncommon creations to come out of

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 an entertainment studio, videogame or otherwise. Developer KAEDE Smith - With the ability to zoom in and really pulled out all the stops and snipe enemies from a distance, KAEDE is a produced a game that stands distinct from most of the industry powerful personality to use in various situations standbys present in so many other titles. throughout the game. She is the lone female of the syndicate and is on the brink of suicide. One Meet the Smith Syndicate, the 7 killers of Killer7 of her special abilities involves slashing her wrists Killer7 ’s plot centers on Harman Smith, an accomplished assassin as an offering of blood in order to open new who is now suffering from the rigors of old age. Despite being pathways. wheelchair bound, Harman is still a master marksman, though his mental state wavers between sharp and cunning to lethargic and Kevin Smith - Kevin never speaks a word and indolent. At times Harman speaks with a cool and collected tongue, views the word from behind thick sunglasses. He plotting out plans of attack, but often he slumps down in a vegetative is the only member of the syndicate without a state, immune and unresponsive to even the punches and slaps of sidearm, choosing instead to shower shurikens his cruel caregiver. upon his enemies. Kevin can literally become What makes Harman unique is his capability to mentally project invisible, providing him easy access through seven different “personalities” and use them as assassins, hence the highly secured areas. game’s title. Each of Harman’s separate personalities harbor their own individual strengths and weaknesses, and succeeding in the Con Smith - Only a teenager, Con is light on his game requires an astute understanding of using the best assassin feet and wields two rapid fire pistols. In a pinch, for each situation. Harman’s mental instability suggests that perhaps he can run faster than the wind, making him what the gamer is experiencing on screen may not be reality, but a impossible to catch. Even though Con lacks world that exists in Harman’s mind. Perhaps the Killer 7 are simply sight, his keen hearing allows him the ability to the hallucinations of a senile old man, sitting in a dark room while he accurately unload streams of bullets into foes. creeps closer and closer to death. Con is my favorite of the seven personalities to Without further ado, meet the Killer 7: control.

Garcian Smith - Garcian is the personality that Coyote Smith - If you need a lock to be picked or a handles “business” transactions before an second story window to be accessed, the master assassination takes place. It is within Garcian’s thief Coyote is your man. Though decent with a trailer home that Harman spends the majority of pistol, Coyote is best left to breaking and entering his days. A self-proclaimed “cleaner,” Garcian’s then stepping aside to let a stronger assassin take forte is seeking out and resurrecting the remains of out any enemies that may stand in the way. other personalities that have perished. Mask de Smith - A gentle giant, Mask Dan Smith - Dan is the epitome of a hard-boiled is a professional wrestler with the strength of an ox but killer. His eyes show no remorse for the lives he a kind heart. He’ll tell you that he’s “not a monster,” takes. He dresses in a stylish black suit and his but the devastation of his dual hand cannons might weapon of choice is a classic magnum. Dan is make you think otherwise. Mask’s design was most an excellent all-around selection to choose for likely inspired by Killer7 ’s director, Suda 51, who is any mission. reported to often wear a professional wrestling mask during public appearances.

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 My responses to the criticisms: “The first person shooting isn’t fun.” “Movement is too linear.” Combat takes place in a static, first person The character perspective that brings to control in Killer7 mind playing light gun takes place upon games like House of the “rails,” meaning there are Dead with a control pad. set paths that your When you switch to the character follows and first person view, cannot deviate from. you must quickly However, I believe that the “scan” the on-rails movement is a lot surroundings to less limiting than many locate foes, then people perceive it to be. To blast away to take begin with, there are them down before they numerous points at which reach you, otherwise they the line you are moving explode and often end along branches off into your life. other paths, creating a The enemies in Killer7 web-like network of courses are zombie-like creates called for you to follow. Heaven’s Smiles and they In addition, the amount always make their presence known of areas you have access to isn’t significantly less than what is with a disturbing giggle. They come in various sizes and shapes, experienced in other similar games. You’ll still do plenty of traveling and destroying each one requires a different approach. Most of the between different areas in Killer7 , but the difference is the journey is Heaven’s Smiles have a glowing weak point that, when directly shot, streamlined. Having freedom of control off of the rails wouldn’t have will bring them down. However, switching between the different mattered all that much since you’re still going to have to guide your Smith personalities is a must in order to destroy different varieties of character to the same key spots, anyway. The on-rails traveling Heaven Smile. For example, sometimes you’ll need to zoom in and simply speeds everything up. snipe using KAEDE while other times you’ll need the brute force only available with Mask. I find the shooting segments to be enjoyable Mister Raroo is not afraid to and interesting, especially given the wide variety of Heaven’s Smile, but I can see how some people may grow weary of it. Thankfully criticize a game when it deserves there is much more to the game than shooting Heaven’s Smile. In it. Nevertheless, I like how Mister fact, to focus on the shooting segments alone is counterproductive in Raroo is able to fairly give a game the enjoyment of the game as a whole. Even if you don’t like the its due, even when it is not a shooting, there’s so much more to the game that you shouldn’t let it bestseller or when others have hamper your experience. And, before you know it, you may grow to already put out unsavory reviews. actually like it! “The story is too confusing.”

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 I love that Grasshopper Manufacture took big chances and produced The storyline in Killer7 is a game that provides an experience unlike anything I’ve ever played. convoluted, disjointed, and full Seeing as they also developed the wonderful but very of gaps. It’s obvious that straightforward II for Gameboy Advance, Grasshopper Grasshopper Manufacture Manufacture aren’t just some kooky development house that only wanted the player to fill in the knows how to make bizarre games. They could have easily holes and interpret things for themselves. While some may argue that the plot is bizarre just for the sake of being bizarre, I found it to be quite pleasing and worth spending plenty of time dissecting. The game is divided into chapters, with each requiring the assassination of a produced the type of game that many gamers thought and hoped specific target. Each Killer7 would be, but instead the final product is something that chapter feels very nobody expected. At the same time, Grasshopper Manufacture distinct, but as you never took things to the point in which Killer7 ceased to be a progress through the game, you’ll begin to notice plot elements that videogame. Killer7 , despite being so distinct, still contains the basic overlap and contribute to the overall storyline. If you can wrap your elements necessary to keep it first and foremost entertaining as a brain around the difficult narratives of like Serial Experiments game. It’s nice to see that when a talented game developer is Lain , Neon Genesis Evangelion , or Boogiepop Phantom , you can allowed to color outside the lines, they can still refrain from going handle the plot of Killer7. However, even if you don’t want to spare overboard and making something that is too outlandish or the mental muscle needed to figure out just what the heck is going unplayable. Games like Killer7 are few and far between, so anyone on, you can still enjoy Killer7 . You don’t need to worry about the big tired of the mainstream is highly encouraged to give it a try.  picture or try to figure out how all the characters tie together. The objectives of each chapter are clear and you can happily play through the game, oblivious to the larger elements of the plotline. That said, I believe trying to piece together the parts of the narrative Ghoulish fiends? to be a significant part of Killer7 ’s charm. A talking severed head? A boss battle against two businessmen with half of their Story schmory! I can’t stand story faces blown off? Yep, I think in games anyway! As long as I can Killer7 may be the perfect figure out what I’m supposed to game for a gloomy Halloween do, then I gladly skip the story to night! get on with the gameplay!

Final Thoughts

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mals.com Shawnimal Smith's work can be viewed at: www.shawni at: viewed be can work Smith's Shawnimal Art Time With Shawnimal: “Ghost Party” With Shawnimal: “Ghost Time Art

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 have agreed to play in the first place, since I wasn’t in the mood and all. Obviously, then, these people do not realize exactly how irresistible Mister Raroo can be when he wants something. It is harder than you can possibly imagine saying “no” to the Raroo when he is so giddy with excitement over, what happened to be in this case, linking up with Advance . He will never out rightly demand anything from anyone, but he will glow, shake, and burst Just My Type Of Game with so much anticipation that somebody always seems to give in, even if only for the sake of single-handedly bringing so much Written and Illustrated by Missus Raroo happiness into this world. And so that night, the epic battle began. The Mister and I got settled sitting side-by-side. We linked up our GBAs, powered up our I CAN BE A POOR LOSER . My mom loves to little handheld wonders, and got all of our troops lined up into battle tell the story of how I angrily knocked over formation. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a pretty sight. I didn’t just lose the Monopoly board as a kid. I couldn’t a little, I started losing a whole heck of a lot. Mister Raroo had stand losing to my parents and older strategically arranged his troops so well beyond mine that it turned brother, and so with one fell swoop I out to be a freaking bloody massacre. I sat idly by watching my knocked off everyone’s houses and hotels, troops get blasted off one by one. I saw my tanks just whoosh into leaving myself pouting red-faced with my flames and disappear, and before I knew it, I was arms crossed and tears coming down my throwing down my GBA, muttering something to cheeks. Fast forward to me as an adult. the extent of: “I’ve been a loser all day! I don’t I’m a little embarrassed to say that a slightly similar incident occurred want to lose at this, too!” Perhaps I was being when the Mister and I met in a battle of on the GBA. dramatic just a tad, but the bottom line is: I It all took place several years ago when we were still just dating. had had my fill of losing. This tantrum of Mister Raroo had bought me a pink GBA for my birthday and soon mine is one that the Mister and I still look after that, he bought a link cable with grand schemes of us spending back on fondly and whenever one of us hours linking up. Needless to say, he was very excited when feels like hosting a personal pity party, Advance Wars came out, providing the perfect opportunity for us to we’ll quote those famous words, “I’ve been make use of our until then lonely link cable. The only glitch ended a loser all day!” and remember the one and only up being in the timing. time we ever tried to play Advance Wars together. Picture this. It had been a long, hard, stressful day of work for Before you write me off as a totally sore loser, I must get credit me and I was feeling downright tired and burned out. Now, I for gracefully losing to Mister Raroo on a pretty regular basis. I definitely don’t hate gaming—I don’t think that I could have possibly would estimate that the Mister could outplay me in probably 9 out of married a gamer if that were the case. Nevertheless, let’s face it: my 10 games. He can definitely beat me at any kind of racing game, love for gaming isn’t even in the same ballpark as the Mister’s because I’m horrible at steering. When it comes to puzzle and sport passion. This means that after a long, hard, stressful day of work, games, I usually lose from a lack of quick reflexes and plenty of bad playing videogames is not the first soothing activity that comes to my aim. And, in fighting games, I almost always end up pummeled and mind. When I got to the Mister’s place that fateful evening, though, I KO’ed. Now, there are the occasional times when I will beat Mister couldn’t help but relent to his excited pleas to try some up-and-up Raroo, either by a stroke of luck or from momentary glints of video Advance Wars battling fun. Some people may wonder why I would game prowess. One time at an arcade, for example, I unexpectedly got into a zone and kicked his butt at Virtual On , using the arcade

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 twinstick control scheme and all! Over time, I am even proud to say your favorite zombies. There are only a few minor graphical that I have developed a pretty reliable edge over my hubbie when it changes that were made to the characters. For example, instead of comes to speed button mashing, and so I often dominate the “press toting around guns, the heroes wear Dreamcast systems on their A as fast as you can” mini games in the Mario Party series. Once backs and keyboards that hang in front of them. Just as the heroes again, though, I would repeat that the Mister takes home the trophy onscreen are equipped with keyboards, you as the player are to use 9 out of 10 times. a keyboard as your weapon instead of using the classic light gun. With my history of being on the losing end Thus, instead of pulling a trigger with your pointer finger, you can of things, you might imagine that I get very use all of your fingers to madly type up words that appear on the excited when there is a game that I’m screen. The faster you correctly type the words and phrases that actually good at. Now, when I’m talking pop up, the more zombies you kill and the higher your score. about being “good” at a game, I’m not talking about being good at a game like Animal Crossing . While I love Animal Crossing , I also realize that it is not a game dependent on skill. The feeling of pride and accomplishment that I’m talking about is when you play a game and winning requires you to demonstrate a measurable skill, not just luck or an investment of time, but actual hard skill. The one game that I hold up as my prized gaming achievement is: Typing of the Dead ! I’m pretty humble when it comes to talking about my abilities in most other parts of life, You might think that it should be easier to kill zombies but I have so few areas to be proud of successfully using a light gun, as with House of the Dead 2 , and for when it comes to gaming, that when I most people that is probably the case. You just aim, point, and found my niche with Typing of the Dead , I shoot, right? Well, for me, there is no way that I could ever make it was not afraid to beam with pride. It is through the game alive with a light gun, mostly because I can’t aim. the one game that I can confidently claim The genius part of getting to use a keyboard is that you no longer I’m good at. have to worry about aiming. The only thing you have to worry about Once again, Typing of the Dead takes me back to the dating is typing correctly and typing quickly, and luckily these are the skills days I spent with Mister Raroo. The Mister is a very persuasive that I possess. You won’t believe how happy I was to finally play a salesperson. His overflowing enthusiasm for the Sega Dreamcast first-person shooter game and make it to the end, beating the final was enough to peer pressure me into spontaneously buying a used boss and all. This is a feat that I would otherwise believe system off of eBay. We were just dating then, and so of course we unachievable for me. couldn’t just share his system; we each had to have our own. When Before you think that beating the game was a simple task, let me Typing of the Dead came along, it followed suit that we each had to reassure you that it did take me multiple attempts and it required have our own copies of the game and our own Dreamcast great focus on my part. In order to beat the final stages, I have to sit keyboards. As it turned out, it was the game made just for me. in an upright position with perfect posture and my hands held in a If you haven’t played Typing of the Dead , just picture House of ready typing position. I have to make sure that the keyboard doesn’t the Dead 2 . The levels in Typing of the Dead exactly follow the feel sticky or greasy. I have to get rid of any distractions around me, same layout as levels from House of the Dead 2 , complete with all of such as other noises, poor lighting, and moving people or animals.

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Finally, I have to consciously remind myself to focus on the words that Ode To The Dead pop up on the screen. If you hesitate to find a key in the final rounds, or if your Shhhhh… mind just freezes for a second, you’re dead meat. Motor mouth Without skipping a beat, you have to type nearly perfectly or else Chubby crybaby you’re toast. I make a special warning for anyone accustomed to Rice ball face having computer programs automatically correct spelling errors and Too much frolicking— typos. There are no such exceptions made when you are playing Typing of the Dead . You must type like the top secretary in the days How pitiful! of typewriters. In other words, you must type without making errors, because making errors is too costly. Flabby belly Typing of the Dead is one of those rare, off-kilter equalizers. It Ticklish can make a usually skilled gamer into a loser if typing is not his or Mannish her forte. Or, as in my case, it can make a virtual loser into a Goblin champion. Even if you are not good at typing, though, I suggest that you find someone who can type away for your enjoyment, because Grumble… in the end, the most fulfilling aspect of Typing of the Dead is its quirky sense of humor. You will get a chuckle out of simply reading Over the hill the words and phrases that are randomly generated for display. Wicked man They can range from the ordinary, such as “all“ and “play” to the Pluck dead grass totally unexpected “beriberi.” So, in tribute to this great game that for Fed up— once made me a winner, I will end with an “Ode to The Dead ,” which is entirely composed of quotes taken directly from the game. It kind Aik! of reminds me of some poetry jams I attended back in college… Do the bump Lucky guppy The zombies are oh Dizzy spells so frightful, especially Winking… if you’re a bad typist. If you fumble at the Pregnant pause keyboard, They’ll be relentless coming Whew! after you!

Poem compiled by Missus Raroo “Poets” illustrated by Mister Raroo

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 enjoyed replaying the game upon my initial completion. The premise of the game is that Luigi receives a mysterious letter telling him that he is the recipient of a wonderful mansion. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a trap set by the The Suckiest Game Ever: diabolical King Boo, as the mansion is filled to the brim with spooks. To Luigi’s Mansion make matters worse, Mario has been kidnapped and the same fate seems to be in store for poor Luigi. Luckily, a kooky professor named E. Gadd stumbles upon the situation and excitedly urges LUIGI ’S MANSION SUCKS MORE THAN ANY OTHER GAME EVER CREATED , Luigi to give his new invention, the Poltergust 3000, a field test. but in terms its gameplay, that’s meant as a good thing. You see, Designed to catch ghosts, the Poltergust provides the unique the game’s standout feature is a vacuum cleaner strapped to Luigi’s gameplay centerpoint of Luigi’s Mansion . Interestingly enough, back with which he is able to suck in and capture ghosts. So, in the sucking up ghosts plays out a lot like catching fish as Luigi will be strange case of Luigi’s Mansion , saying the game “sucks” is a pulled to and fro by the frantic specters scrambling to get away. compliment! Progression through the game’s Originally shown as a chapters requires capturing spirits from technical demo when the various rooms within the mansion then Gamecube was first unveiled finally going on to battle a boss character. in 2000, Luigi’s Mansion went Luckily, things are a little less on to be one of ’s straightforward than simply running around key software titles during the and sucking up everything in sight. To system’s launch. While many begin with, ghosts need to be temporarily fans cried out at the lack of a stunned by hitting them with a flashlight “real” Mario game, those who beam. However, getting them to appear in took the time to actually enjoy the first place requires various degrees of and appreciate Luigi’s puzzle solving from room to room, making Mansion found a quality and Luigi’s Mansion a more cerebral experience entertaining game in its own than the initial gameplay impressions might right. Unfortunately, the let on. Only after a ghost has been game’s duration is nowhere revealed and stunned can Luigi suck up the poor spirit. near what gamers have come Further into the game, Luigi gains new abilities for the Poltergust to expect from Mario games, 3000 which allow him to shoot water, fire, and ice in order to fight causing many gamers to certain baddies as well as solve various puzzles. For example, in criticize the game’s shorter one area of the mansion there is a fire raging, but sucking up a water play time. Personally, for the spirit allows for Luigi to spray water from the Poltergust 3000 and type of game Luigi’s Mansion douse the flames. This added dynamic adds some interesting depth is, I find it to be just about the to the gameplay structure. I personally like shooting fire the best, as ideal length of time and have the graphical effects of the flames are a joy to look at.

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 What I find most delightful about Luigi’s Mansion is the amount of My biggest criticism of Luigi’s detail packed into the game. Each room is meticulously rendered Mansion is that it suffers from some and almost everything on screen reacts to Luigi’s Poltergust 3000. artificial game lengthening. A good You can make the furniture shake, suck up the tablecloths and chunk of the way into the game, certains, and cause the chandeliers to swing wildly. Aiming your Luigi accidentally sets loose an Poltergust 3000 at everything in sight isn’t just for throwaway kicks, army of Boos, which are the well- either, because doing so will cause all kinds of money and jewels to known ghosts that have been literally pop out of their hiding places. Luigi can then suck up all the present in almost all of the Mario loot and add them to his overall points. Nice! game since Super Mario Bros. 3. In addition, each ghost has a distinct design and trying to make The Boos hide in nearly every room like Pokemon and catch ‘em all is extremely addicting. Throughout and Luigi must use a tracking the game, you’ll meet all shapes and sizes of spooks such as a vain device to locate them. Aiming the woman pampering herself in the mirror, a ravenous man gorging Poltergust 3000 at the Boos’ hiding himself at a banquet table, and a muscle bound oaf who, even in places draws them out and Luigi death, can’t stop pumping iron. At the end of each chapter, can then suck them up. While catching every Boo is not necessary Professor E. Gadd uses a massive machine to turn each captured to complete the game, ravenous completists will spend a large ghost into a framed picture that is then displayed in Luigi’s personal amount of time chasing every last mischievous Boo down. While gallery. hunting Boos is fun, I can’t help but think it was included to add some meat to a game that, given its tech demo roots, was a bit short on substance. Fans of E. Gadd should make sure Despite being one of the original games released with the to check out the cute RPG Mario Gamecube, Luigi’s Mansion has aged well and is still as charming and Luigi on the GBA. E. Gadd today as it was when it first debuted. In fact, now that the game is has a great cameo that will surely free from carrying the burden of being the system’s “Mario game,” bring a smile to your face. Luigi’s Mansion is even more enjoyable because it can be appreciated on its own terms. Especially given the fact that that it Recently, I’ve been able to revisit Luigi’s Mansion because both can now be purchased for a discounted price, all Gamecube owners my niece Wubba and nephew Mario have been playing it. While really should give the game a chance. It’s amusing, colorful, and Wubba got a kick out of the game, she gave up after a couple hours perfect for gamers of any age.  of playtime at which point she had become stuck on a puzzle. Mario, on the other hand, has never met a Nintendo game he hasn’t loved, and getting stuck doesn’t keep him from doing his best to get through the situation, even if it takes hours and hours. In the case of Haunted mansions go hand-in-hand Luigi’s Mansion , deciphering a particularly tough puzzle was skillfully with Halloween, so Luigi’s Mansion is accomplished by asking “Uncle Raroo” to give him a hand. a great choice for a spooky Fortunately for my gaming reputation, it only took a few minutes of Halloween night. And, since its wandering around before I was able to what needed to be game’s ghosts are more cute than done and soon my nephew was able to happily continue exploring scary, gamers probably won’t have the mansion. nightmares after playing, either.

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 • : Digging Strike (Nintendo DS, 2005): Despite the fact that this game is awesome because it successfully ties together the Dig Dug and Mr. Driller universes while providing classic Dig Dug play mechanics and tons of extra items and fan service, the overall package feels a little too haphazard for its own good. • Engacho! (Wonderswan, 1999): This crazy puzzle game requires you to guide your character toward an exit while avoiding enemies that move at the same time you do, but what players will notice most of all are the strange and disgusting animated scenes of flying butts and noses excreting their

• Advance Wars DS (Nintendo DS, 2005): I’m horrible at contents onto you should you fail. strategy games and have never been able to be very successful • (Famicom, 1988): The original Wars game at attempting to progress though the Advance Wars games, but may look a little dated and feature cute but dissimilar artwork to even I can’t deny the excellence in design that is exemplified in the newer games, but it provides a surprisingly comparable this game’s graphics, sound, and depth. experience to that found in even the newest games in the series. • Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (Playstation 2, 2003): • Mario Superstar Baseball (Gamecube, 2005): With the Castlevania manages to work really well in 3D thanks to its solid control scheme, fittingly detailed graphics, and wonderful music, One genre of games that I fee l the but fans of the more fleshed-out 2D games from recent years Mister is not that cut out for are might be disappointed in the overall hollowness they’ll find here. strategy games. As such, I tried to convince him that Advance Wars for • Dai Senryaku VII: Modern Military Tactics (, 2005): This the DS was an unnecessary purchase. game is basically Advance Wars on heavy-duty steroids, so My words totally backfired! Spurred armchair strategists will find themselves with almost too much juicy military action for their own good, but I just found myself on by my challenge, the Mister not overwhelmed by the amount of options this war simulator had to only trudged his way through the DS offer. W ars, he even went so far as to track down and then attack Famicom Wars. • Dashin’ Desperados (Genesis, 1993): developed this strange but oddly satisfying little side-scrolling on-foot racer exception of some minor base running and fielding annoyances, that plays like a more fleshed-out version of the racing Superstar Baseball , with its clever ballparks, speedy gameplay, minigames from Sonic the Hedgehog 2. and excellent hitting/pitching interface, comes with everything I • Death Jr. (PSP, 2005): The PSP is certainly capable of better could have wanted and more from an arcade baseball game. graphics and the camera design could use some work, but Death • Metroid Zero Mission (Gameboy Advance, 2004): In my Jr. manages to provide a fun little run ‘n gun shooter/platformer opinion, this is a remake done right because it gives a big boost that, while it’s not going to win any awards for being particularly to the game’s control, graphics, sound, and overall immersion outstanding, helps to slightly soften the fact that the PSP is in but keeps the vibe and basic core of the original Metroid intact. dire need of quality, original software.

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 • Nintendogs (Nintendo DS, 2005): This remarkable piece of • RC de Go! (Playstation, 2000): All racing junkies owe it to software certainly isn’t so much a game as it is an actual themselves to get their grubby paws on ’s radio control car commitment and getting the most enjoyment out of your adopted racer because its knockout control and noteworthy course design virtual puppies requires you to make Nintendogs a part of your prove that good things can come in small packages. daily routine. • Sparkster (Genesis, 1994): While it is actually a worthwhile game and features great control, killer graphics, and nice sound, After failing to talk me into buying I honestly think this more “extreme” sequel to Rocket Knight my own DS just to play Adventures really takes a step in the wrong direction by Nintendogs, the Mister invited me somehow losing a lot of the innocence and charm that were to adopt a dog from his kennel. I brimming in its predecessor. got to buy a Yorkie, but while it is • ( AES, 1991): I love it when truly adorable, it will never come developers take sports games and throw the rules out the close to beating our real-life pooch window, and the futuristic Super Baseball 2020 ’s exaggerated Howie. He is the sweetest living but wonderful take on America’s favorite pastime is, nearly 15 being I’ve ever known, and the years after its release, a refreshingly fast-paced and atypical Mister and I appreciate every day experience. we get to spend with him. • Super Bonk 2 (Super Famicom, 1995): This sequel to the stellar Super Bonk was only released in Japan, which is a shame

because its classic Bonk gameplay mixed with almost-blindingly • Pop’n Twinbee (Super Famicon, 1993): Parodius Team colorful graphics, wacko stages, and hordes of inventive enemies created this excellent entry in the cute top-down shmup series deserves much more recognition and respect than it receives. that will more or less send fans of the series, or even just fans of the adorable, into convulsions of happiness when they first set their eyes on the supped-up graphics and vintage Twinbee gameplay. • Power Stone (Dreamcast, 2001): Even though there might be too much of a reliance on gathering the “power stones” (hence the title!) in order to boost your fighter’s strength and attacks, the frantic action that Power Stone offers is still as much of a blast to play today as it was when this game was a Dreamcast launch title. • Puzzle Link 2 ( Color, 2000): This puzzle game’s premise of shooting “links” to match up colors of different blocks before they reach the bottom of the screen is both simple but interesting, meaning puzzle fanatics looking for a light but fairly unique game should give this title a chance.

GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005 GAME TIME WITH MISTER RAROO • OCTOBER 2005