First Class Mail U.S. Postage PAID Lancaster PA The College Reporter Permit 901 THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF FRANKLIN & MARSHALL COLLEGE MONDAY, APRIL 21, 2014 LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA http://www.the-college-reporter.com VOLUME 51, ISSUE 5 Jane Goodall visits campus, delivers Public Safety earns re-accreditation lecture on life story, hopes for future acknowledging standards, procedures by steven viera year for each of those standards.” News Editor During its examination, PLEAC F&M’s Department of Public Safe- looks at a department’s legal man- ty (DPS) recently received re-accredi- dates and procedures, its organiza- tation from the Pennsylvania Law En- tional management, its facilities, as forcement Accreditation Commission well as other criteria. To prove that (PLEAC) of the Pennsylvania Chiefs DPS upholds these and other factors, of Police Association. The re-accred- Schuman and Dennis Walters, DPS’ itation comes after an exhaustive re- lieutenant, reviewed reports made by view of DPS’ operational procedures DPS officers about their operations. and standards. “It’s through our reports that the PLEAC first accredited DPS in officers write,” Schuman said. “[For 2011, making DPS one of five higher example], that they double-lock the education police departments— along handcuffs and check their fit. So, the with Carnegie Mellon University, officer will write that in their report, Duquesne University, Point Park Uni- so, that way, we can prove that’s what versity, and Lehigh University— to be they did.” so accredited, out of the more than 80 According to William McHale, di- college police departments in Pennsyl- rector of DPS, another step that DPS vania. However, after three years, or- takes that PLEAC does not consider ganizations are required to reapply and for its accreditation is certification un- show they have continued to follow der Act 120, which requires officers photo by Krissy Montville ’14 the guidelines and principles PLEAC to graduate from a municipal police Jane Goodall, primatologist, came to F&M and talked to a sold-out crowd in sets forth. academy approved by the Pennsylva- Mayser Gymnasium last Friday. She discussed her conservation efforts. “There’s over 350 standards you nia Municipal Police Education and by abigail quint volunteered. have to comply with,” said Anne Schu- Training Commission, and which all Editor-in-Chief During first few months at man, a DPS officer who made many of municipal police officers have. F&M With Reporting By Gombe Stream National Park, the preparations for re-accreditation. Steven viera a chimpanzee she named David “So you have to show two proofs per see PUBLIC SAFETY, page 3 News Editor Greybeard provided her with her Dr. Jane Goodall, renowned an- first breakthrough. David took a F&M to host gubernatorial primary thropologist, primatologist, and twig, stripped off the leaves, and author, spoke on her life experi- used the branch as a tool to hunt candidates at televised forum in May ences, her travels, and her conser- for termites. Evidence of animals by jeffrey robinowitz cruited four candidates in the race for vation work last Friday at a sold- beyond humans using tools was Staff Writer Pennsylvania’s Democratic nomina- out Mayser Gymnasium. groundbreaking. On May 1, F&M will host a tele- tion: Robert McCord, state treasurer; Elizabeth Lonsdorf, profes- After that discovery, her men- vised forum featuring four candidates Katie McGinty, former state environ- sor of psychology, worked at the tor Louis Leakey secured a place for the Democratic nomination in mental protection secretary; Allyson Gombe Stream National Park with for Goodall work on her graduate Pennsylvania’s upcoming gubernato- Schwartz, U.S. congresswoman from Goodall and was instrumental in studies at Cambridge University, rial election. The College’s Center for Pennsylvania; and Tom Wolf, former bringing her to campus. Lonsdorf despite the fact that Goodall did Politics and Public Affairs, WGAL TV state revenue secretary. introduced Goodall and spoke not attend undergraduate school. News, Penn/Live-The Patriot News, According to the most recent F&M of her own experience meeting After earning her doctorate, Good- and The Lancaster Newspapers/Lan- Poll, of the four candidates, Wolf is the Goodall as an undergraduate. all returned to Gombe Stream Na- casterOnline are sponsoring the event. frontrunner. Even though his lead has Goodall shared part of her story tional Park, where she was filmed “I wrote the campaigns, on behalf slipped from 36 percent to 33 percent, with the crowd in Mayser, starting and photographed for National of our partners, and invited the can- the poll showed he has maintained a with tales of her exploration of Geographic Magazine. She took didates to participate in the May 1 fo- sizeable lead over his opponents— nature in her native England. She extensive notes on the move- rum,” said G. Terry Madonna, director Schwartz, for example, follows him spoke very highly of her mother, ments, habits, and relationships of of the Center for Politics and Public praising her for her commitment the chimpanzees in the park, even Affairs. Madonna successfully re- see FORUM, page 2 to encouraging curiosity. When forming personal relationships Due to Reading Days and finals, this will be the last issue ofThe Col- with the chimpanzees. Goodall needed a chaperone dur- lege Reporter for the Spring term. Publication will resume Fall 2014. ing her first excursion to Gombe Good luck with finals! Stream National Park, her mother see LECTURE, page 2 Inside this Issue... Opinion & Editorial Arts & Entertainment “Why we need to reject Depp, Freeman fail to salvage Taylor Swift” Nolan’s newest sci-fi thriller page 4 page 9

Campus Life Sports Take Back the Night brings Bubba Watson wins 2014 awareness to sexual assault Masters Tournament page 6 page 11 Page 2 News The College Reporter Viera’s Crime Watch Lecture: Goodall comes to F&M following Friday, Apr. 11 — An employee of North years of preparation, effort by faculty, staff Museum reported the theft of money that occurred between Apr. 10 and Apr. 11. Friday, Apr. 11 — An employee in the Office of College Advancement reported the theft of an iPad and credit card reader between Apr. 10 and Apr. 11. Friday, Apr. 11, 8:56 a.m. — A custodian in Schnader filed a complaint based on the condition of the bathrooms. He stated it was an ongoing problem. Friday, Apr. 11, 11:20 p.m. — Officers from the Department of Public Safety (DPS) responded to a noise complaint in New College House. The students agreed to turn their music down. Friday, Apr. 11, 11:40 p.m. — There was a disturbance at Kappa Sigma fraternity, as several males were trying to enter the party after being denied access. Saturday, Apr. 12, 1:47 a.m. — DPS responded to a report of an underage drinking in Bonchek College House. An intoxicated, underage male student was transported to Lancaster Regional Medical Center (LRMC). photo by Krissy Montville ’14 Saturday, Apr. 12, 2:02 a.m. — DPS responded to a report of underage In addition to her background and hopes moving forward, Goodall discussed drinking in Ware College House. A semi-alert, intoxicated student was her involvement with the international Roots & Shoots youth program. transported to LRMC. continued from page 1 2009,” she said. “Her visit is one Saturday, Apr. 12, 9:41 p.m. — DPS responded to a report of an intoxi- Her work demonstrated the “hu- of the most important accomplish- cated student in the Steinman College Center. The student was transported man” nature of the chimpanzees, ments of my time here. As a wild- to LRMC. proving chimps were smart, ca- life biologist, this is a dream come Saturday, Apr. 12, 11:43 p.m. — DPS responded to a report of underage pable of love, and capable of hate. true for me, and I’m so happy that drinking in Ware. The student was left in the care of a House Advisor. The research and data collection our community will get to hear her Sunday, Apr. 13, 12:20 a.m. — DPS responded to a noise complaint at a changed assumptions about the message,” Dawson said. location on the 500 block of W. James St. The party was then shut down. nature of animals, and empathized Dawson also looked to learn Sunday, Apr. 13, 4:09 a.m. — DPS conducted a walkthrough of the Col- how “human” like some animals from the lecture, as Goodall’s lege Hill apartments and found new holes in the wall. could be. work is groundbreaking. She be- Monday, Apr. 14 — A student reported the theft of a bicycle from the front In 1986, Goodall left Gombe lieves that students greatly ben- porch of the Chi Omega house. The student said the theft occurred between to pursue conservationism. She efited from the talk. “Jane is the 6:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. on Apr. 13. now travels around the world for world’s most preeminent wildlife Monday, Apr. 14 — A student reported the theft of a laptop from his or her the better part of each year, speak- biologist and conservation advo- room from a house on the 400 block of W. James St. ing at events and encouraging the cate. Her work with chimpanzees Monday, Apr. 14, 8:51 p.m. — A student reported harassment by another crowds to consider the impact at Gombe redefined what it meant student who was driving recklessly on the 600 block of College Ave, caus- industrialization, deforestation, to be human - and put us in our ing a disturbance. mass consumption of meat, animal place within the context of the Monday, Apr. 14, 11:00 p.m. — DPS responded to a report of trespassing testing, and climate change. greater web of life. What we all in which a non-F&M male was living in a shed by the railroad tracks. Goodall shares her hope for the learn in biology and psychology Wednesday, Apr. 16, 5:20 p.m. — DPS responded to a domestic distur- future, citing the intelligence of and animal behavior and conser- bance between two non-F&M persons near College Square. humans and the spirit of young vation classes was greatly influ- Wednesday, Apr. 16, 11:56 p.m. — A student reported the theft of a ring people. Her organization, Roots enced by her time in the field,” that was taken from a backpack, which she left unattended for four hours in & Shoots, aims to inspire young Dawson said. a classroom. people to make changes in their In a press conference, Goodall communities. The organization’s described the message she hoped Viera’s Advice website states that the goal of to impart to members of the F&M This will be my last “Crime Watch” of this year! Thanks for keeping it Roots & Shoots is “to place the community in her lecture. interesting, F&M! And please, for the love of God, try and keep your power and responsibility for cre- “Every single day, we each ating community-based solutions make an impact on the planet,” act together through the Summer... to big challenges in the hands of Goodall said. “It’s about choosing

The College Reporter Corrections Policy the young people.” the little things.” The College Reporter welcomes comments and suggestions, as well as information about substantive errors of Sarah Dawson, professor and fact that call for correction. Contact us via email at [email protected] or at (717) 291-4095. director of the Wohlsen Center for Junior Abigail Quint is the Edi- The College Reporter Story Idea Submission Policy Sustainable Environment, worked tor in Chief. Her email is aquint@ The College Reporter welcomes story ideas from the college community. If you have or your organization has to bring Goodall to campus for fandm.edu. an idea for a Reporter story, email it to us at [email protected] with the subject heading “Campus Story Idea” by Monday at noon the week before publication. Story ideas will be accepted at the discretion of the many years. “We have been Sophomore Steven Viera is the Editorial Board. working to get Jane visit Franklin News Editor. His email is sviera@ & Marshall since I began here in fandm.edu. Forum: Candidates will discuss issues, show importance of non-federal elections to students continued from page 1 affiliate of the Wolf campaign, antici- as the primary approaches. which candidate they support, and an with the support of seven percent of pates questions about the state’s envi- Beyond the issues likely to arise, understanding of why their vote is so voters polled. ronment and economy to come up dur- Madonna explained this event will be important this Spring and Fall.” The event will be a 90 minute forum, ing the forum. an excellent opportunity to meet the Following the May 20 Democratic moderated by Madonna, in which one “How to best revitalize Pennsylva- real candidates outside the commer- primary, the Center for Politics and journalist from each of the three previ- nia’s economy is a key issue, and ev- cials and hype. Public Affairs intends to invite the ously mentioned publications will ask eryone has a number of ideas on how Koob commented on the signifi- winner and Tom Corbett, the incum- the candidates questions. Madonna ex- to do it,” Koob said. “Protection of the cance of this event as a chance to gain bent governor, to an additional general pects the questions to vary greatly and state’s environment is also a big con- a larger appreciation for non-federal election forum. An F&M Poll from cover issues relevant to Pennsylvania. cern going into the race against Cor- elections, especially for those who January revealed only 23 percent of “Most likely education, taxes, energy, bett, with candidates calling for stricter may not fully understand the impact of voters believe Corbett is doing a good legislative reform, social issues [gay regulations and more incentives for re- such races. job, while 62 percent believe the state marriage, medical marijuana, etc.] and newable energy.” “People often don’t realize the im- is on the wrong track. how the campaigns are being waged,” Madonna explained that this event portance of local and state politics in he said. will be an excellent opportunity to their everyday lives,” he said. “I hope First-year Jeffrey Robinowitz is a staff Cameron Koob ’16, president of meet the real candidates outside of the that those watching the debate walk writer. His email is jrobinow@fandm. F&M’s College Democrats and an ads and commercials that will amplify away from it with a strong notion of edu. April 21, 2014 News Page 3 Constitutional law panel examines local case, Conestoga Wood Supplies v. Sebellius plaintiff of the case, Conestoga Wood By shira kipnees tions, unlike individuals, do not have under their healthcare plan, as man- Supplies, is a local company owned by Staff Writer First Amendment free exercise rights. dated by law, as well as the greater Last Tuesday, the John Marshall the Hahn family, who are conservative “There are many complicated issues impact of the Court’s decision,” she Pre-Law Honor Society and F&M’s Mennonites and believe that human before the Court in this case,” Schel- said. “The panel did an excellent job Office of Student and Post-Graduate life begins at the moment a human egg lenger said. “The two primary issues of presenting each party’s arguments, Development (OSPGD) hosted a con- is fertilized. are: one, whether corporations can en- and I think it enabled students to re- stitutional law panel on Conestoga “On this basis, the Hahn family gage in religious exercise, and, two, if ally consider and understand each Wood Supplies v. Sebellius, a case objects to the mandated provision of so, whether the HHS mandate violates party’s position, regardless of how currently before the Supreme Court. emergency contraceptives and certain RFRA.” each student personally feels about the The panel, moderated by Grier Ste- intrauterine devices that prevent an Schellenger explained that this issues.” phenson, Charles A. Dana Professor of embryo from implanting in a woman’s court case is important because it will Schellenger noted that a decision Government, included Charles Proctor uterus,” said Kathryn Schellenger, di- impact the way U.S. courts address re- for either party would not only shape III, who represented the plaintiffs, the rector of legal professions advising for ligious freedom in the future, no mat- the future of free expression cases in Hahn family, in this case; Jonathan OSPGD. “However, they do not object ter what the Supreme Court decides. America, but it could open the door for Massey, Jr., a partner at Massey & to the provision of contraceptives that Schellenger also believes this case future and more significant actions. Gail and a former clerk for William J. do not interfere with an already fertil- is of interest and important to F&M “The government has argued that a Brennan, Jr., former chief justice of the ized egg.” students because Conestoga Wood is decision exempting Conestoga Wood Supreme Court; and Mark C. Radhert, The Hahn family’s attorneys argued headquartered in Lancaster County. from the Mandate could potentially a scholar of constitutional law at Tem- before the courts that this mandate vio- Schellenger hoped that students allow companies to argue exemp- ple Beasley School of Law a former lates their freedom of religious expres- who attended the law panel would be tions from all types of health cover- clerk for Harry A. Blackmun, former sion, as protected under the Religious inspired to think critically about this age; for example, companies could chief justice of the Supreme Court. Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA). The case and the issues it raises. refuse to provide coverage for blood Conestoga Wood Supplies v. Se- government has exempted nonprofit “I hope that it inspired students to transfusions, for vaccinations, or for bellius concerns the mandate of the religious corporations from the man- think critically about the issues specifi- health care at all,” Schellenger said. Department of Health and Human date for the same reasons the Hahns cally posed by the case; i.e. the nature “Conversely, a decision for the gov- Services (HHS), formerly headed by and Hobby Lobby, another plaintiff in of corporations and whether closely- ernment could mean even further re- Kathleen Sebellius, for employers to this case, object to it, and the govern- held family-owned corporations can strictions upon the right to free exer- provide their workers with health in- ment’s attorneys argued that Cones- be distinguished from public corpo- cise of religion guaranteed by the First surance that covers contraceptives and toga Wood and Hobby Lobby should rations, and the conflict between the Amendment.” contraceptive services, based on the not be similarly exempted from the Hahn’s right to freely exercise their Patient Protection and Affordable Care Mandate because they are for-profit religion and the rights of their female Junior Shira Kipnees is a staff writer. Act, also known as Obamacare. The corporations. They argue that corpora- employees to access all contraceptives Her email is [email protected]. Black Pyramid Society to sponsor TEDx Talk examining role of underdog in society by Clarissa grunwald the Green Room Theatre. Tickets, committed to “Ideas Worth Spread- unspoken for, or the unconfident who Staff Writer while free, are limited to students and ing,” which are usually presented as have risen above their particular ad- In cooperation with TED (Technol- faculty members of the College, and, speeches. TEDx, an offshoot of the versities… We want the underdog to ogy, Entertainment, Design), F&M’s due to limited seating, attendees will larger program, works with organiza- drive this TEDx talk, and we want the Black Pyramid Society will be pre- be selected via a lottery system. tions such as the Black Pyramid Soci- audience to walk away with a stronger senting a TEDx event on April 23 in TED is a nonprofit organization ety to help create independent events vision of how to support the under- in the spirit of TED. dogs they encounter in their lives.” Public Safety: Re-accrediation approved The Black Pyramid Society is a Speakers include Akbar Hossain senior honor society dedicated to aca- ’13, a Saudi-Arabian immigrant who unanimously after thorough review process demic excellence, leadership, and ser- spent time at the College working as vice. The society hosts the Fummer’s an advocate for those seeking politi- Market, a silent auction for charity cal asylum; Dave Levin, co-founder that takes place during Homecoming. of the Knowledge is Power Program They also organize the Last Lecture, (KIPP), which helps college-bound in which one F&M professor is elect- students from low-income families ed to give a final address to the senior succeed; Joan Fallon ’79, whose work class. to improve autism treatment has led Each year, the Black Pyramid So- her to found the research and drug de- ciety also chooses project, or mission, velopment firm, Curemark LLC; and that is meant to contribute to the F&M Kate Porterfield, a psychologist and community while demonstrating the sister of Dan Porterfield, president society’s values. This year, the TEDx of the College, who has worked with program was chosen as that mission. several young prisoners at the U.S. “We want to inspire a sense of com- military’s Guantanamo Bay detention munity through intellectual engage- camp. photo by Krissy Montville ’14 ment, which is at the heart of TED’s “We chose these speakers because F&M’s Department of Public Safety (DPS) received re-accrediation from the Pennsylvania Law Enforcement Accrediation Commission (PLEAC). philosophy of idea sharing,” said Cait- they are intellectual leaders who have lin Brust, ’14, a member of the Black nuanced and intuitive perspectives on continued from page 1 layout of the police department, it’s the Pyramid Society and lead organizer of the underdog,” Brust said in a press requires all DPS officers to have Act review of the command system. Basi- the event. release. 120 certification, which necessitates cally, it’s a top-to-bottom review— it’s Brust became interested in the pos- Sue Washburn ’73, a trustee of the that they complete at least 750 hours a thorough review— and we actually sibility of a TEDx talk at F&M after College, will serve as the master of of training. DPS officers also have Act came out exceptionally.” seeing “The Power of Introverts,” a ceremonies for the event. Washburn is 235 certification, which allows them to On April 2, PLEAC voted unani- TED talk by writer Susan Cain. a Principal at Washburn and McGol- carry certain items, such as batons. mously to extend DPS’ accredita- F&M’s TEDx talks will feature drick Inc., a consulting firm that works In late March, PLEAC sent repre- tion for three more years based on four speakers, each of whom will give with educational institutions and sentatives to DPS for the re-accred- their procedures, performance, and a presentation on the topic, “The Tri- philanthropies. itation inspection. The representa- standards. als and Triumphs of the Underdog.” Students interested in entering the tives reviewed documents relating to “I continue to be amazed by the The presentations will each be about lottery for tickets to the event should DPS’ procedures, spoke with officers, quality of the staff we have here, and eighteen minutes in length, and each visit: http://www.fandm.edu/news/ar- toured all areas of the police station, it’s important that the campus knows of the speakers will give a new take on ticle/new-campus-event-tedxfranklin- and examined the four fully equipped, that we have a well-staffed, well- the underdog story based on their own marshallcollege. marked vehicles. maintained, well-trained Department experiences. “It’s a thorough review; it’s not just of Public Safety staff that’s here to en- “[The underdog idea] exists in First-year Clarissa Grunwald is a paperwork,” McHale said. “It’s the sure their safety,” McHale said. “I’m many cultural spheres,” Brust said. “It staff writer. Her email is cgrunwal@ qualifications of the officers, it’s the very proud of that.” could refer to the underprivileged, the fandm.edu. April 21, 2014 Opinion & Editorial Page 4

In Memory of Elana Stein “We both remember Elana as a cheerful, smiling, determined and fun person. She could dance! At New College House’s masquerade ball last year, she and her house mates got onto the dance floor, and everyone had a good time. There was no judgement, just pure fun. It was a great NCH moment.” — Dean Richter & Carla Freund

“It is a tragedy that Elana Stein is no longer on earth, for she made the world a much brighter place to live. Though her physical presence is no longer, her infectious laugh and precious smile remain. She was a wonderful friend, student, sister, daughter, and human being. Her sisters of Alpha Delta Pi now know the true meaning of sisterhood, and the chapter was enriched by her presence. She put her heart into everything she did and her compassion will never be forgotten. Elana’s legacy will live on in her friendships, her family, and here at Franklin and Marshall forever. Rest in peace, Elana.” — Allie Morey

Full Staff Opinion The College Reporter staff Thanks for the memories would once again like to We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like ever. It has been five incredibly long and arduous weeks sinceThe College Reporter overthrew its lead- extend its condolences to ers (held Spring elections) and began a new regime under a neurotic former DipCon president and a moderately abrasive lab rat. While we would like to think we have evolved into a fully-functioning, completely sane organization in the absence of our senior members, we know that is a lie. Every week the family and friends of of the past month has been a struggle without them, and it will take us a while before we hit our stride as neophytes spawned from your glorious legacy. In short, we will miss them more than they know. Elana Stein ’16. Elana has Therefore, we want to take this moment, this last masthead of the 2013-2014 school year, and say left an everlasting mark on thank you to our seniors. Sloane: Thank you for being our TCR mom and keeping us all in check. You are the best writer this paper will ever see, and we will miss you more than you will ever know. Even though you are a this campus, and she will be “spineless jellyfish,” we love you. #newsisthebestsection Justin: There are not enough words in the English language to describe how we feel about you— missed by many. neon, flipflops, Ke$ha, and all. We know you’ll never fall on your face in life; your resume is boss. #sassy #manageratweis Lila: Ever the Diplomat. We’ll miss your positive attitude, passive aggressive phone calls to Mark, and willingness to cuddle with Steven. Sara: We are tempted to rehash an old nickname, but, perhaps, that isn’t kosher for a newspaper. For more stories and Know that we will forever recycle your Edits speech and cry inside everytime someone doesn’t do it quite as well as you do. #jigsawpuzzle #chunky memories of Elana, see this Krissy: We will honestly be lost without you. You are, hands down, the MVP of the Reporter staff. Where else will we find someone who will take photos for the entire paper? article on HerCampus: Mark: Always last to arrive, and, therefore, last on the list. We will secretly miss calling you 10 times every Sunday and staying late as you decide to read your articles for the first time at 9 p.m. Thank http://www.hercampus.com/school/ you for always keeping things interesting and for gracing us with your tales. Go sports! #woah

f-and-m/memory-elana-stein-16 Thank you for being our mentors, second family, and friends. We love you. Good luck in your future endeavors and congratulations on your graduation. Come visit often!

Transparency. Accuracy. Credibility. The College THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF Reporter FRANKLIN & MARSHALL COLLEGE Alanna Koehler & Abigail Quint Public Relations and Social Media Staff Writers Senior Staff Editors in Chief Krissy Montville Photography Editor Sloane Markley Sara Blank Julia Cinquegrani Onigman Mark Dourmashkin Scott Georgianna Pisano-Goetz Web Manager Dylan Gordon Justin Kozloski Mark Rossman Dylan Jennings Managing Editor Senior Editor Heather Nonnemacher Web Manager Jonathan Pressman Lila Epstein Jack Pinsky Tyler Helms Business Manager Julia Scavicchio The College Reporter is constantly Steven Viera News Editor Tommy Ross Meiyao Li Business Manager Douglas Adair seeking to expand its staff. Contact Erin Moyer Opinion & Editorial Editor Shira Kipnees Steele Schauer Events Coordinator Charlote Hughes [email protected] to get involved. Arielle Lipset Campus Life Editor Grace Meredith Max Pearlman No experiece necessary. Scott Thompson Arts & Entertainment Editor Julia Chirls Photographers Jeffrey Robinowitz We are currently looking to fill the Kimberly Givant Associate Arts & Entertainment Editor Aditya Ramachandran Leo Generali Eric Acre following positions: photography editor, Sophie Afdhal Sports Editor Hannah Younkins Anne Piccolo Nicholas Riebel assistant editors (all sections), staff writers, Amy Schulman Layout Assistant Emilie Woods Huy Nguyen photographers, and business managers. The College Reporter office is located on the second floor of the Steinman College Center. The College Reporter is a weekly student-edited newspaper, published every Monday except during exam and vacation periods. It is printed by Address all correspondence to The College Reporter, F&M #27 P.O. Box 3003, Lancaster, PA 17604. Press & Journal Publications, 20 South Union Street, Middletown, PA. The website was created by Tim Jackson ’12, Christian Hartranft ’12, Email: [email protected] Business Email: [email protected] Phone: (717) 291-4095. Fax: (717) 291-3886. Joshua Finkel ’15, and Lauren Bejzak ’13. The subscription rate is $51 per year. © 2011 The College Reporter. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. The College Reporter was formed in 1964, as a successor to The Student Weekly, which was formed in 1915 by the union of The F&M The Editorial Board, headed by the Editor-in-Chief, has sole authority and full responsibility for the content of the newspaper. The Weekly, founded 1891, and The College Student, founded 1881. The crest of The College Reporter was designed in 2004 by Kim Cortes College Reporter and its subsidiaries are designated public forums. All content is selected and printed by a board of elected ’05. or appointed students.The Masthead Editorial is the majority opinion of the Editorial Board. No other parties are in any other way responsible for its content, and all inquiries concerning that content should be directed to the Editors in Chief. All opinions reflect Copies of The College Reporter on campus are free at a rate of one issue per reader. People found in violation of this policy may be those of the author and not that of The College Reporter, with the exception of the Masthead Editorial. subject to prosecution. April 21, 2014 Opinion & Editorial Page 5 Contributing Writer Commentaries Keeping an eye on Asia, She's the reason for the Putin key in Ukraine teardrops on my guitar here is a great, possibly momentous event happening in Ukraine: the former mem- Why we need to reject Taylor Swift ber of the Soviet Union, and longtime part of Russia, only recently independent i, I’m Erin. I love the number 23, for Jim Carrey reasons. I was born in August in a Tas a state, is attempting to be independent of the Kremlin. The pro-Russian leader suburb near a city. I like imagining what life was like two weeks ago. I have chronic of Ukraine, President Viktor Yanukovych, was overthrown by Ukrainians more interested in Hdry eye. My favorite thing in life is sitting in coffee shops and writing snippy op-eds, moving towards the West, including possible membership in the European Union and maybe which is totally not happening right now. Because, when you really think about it, isn’t life really even NATO. Vladimir Putin was horrified that his puppet in Yanukovych was overthrown just one big op-ed waiting to be written? like the brutal dictator he was, and decided that he needed to take as much of the Ukraine as Now, you are probably wondering why I introduced myself and my column this way. Because possible to protect Russia from any pressures to modernize, democratize, and not kill and it doesn’t. Make. Any. Sense. It does not make sense. We can all agree on that, right? How does imprison people who speak out against Putin. stringing together some random, airy facts about my me-essence (messence? Patent pending.) So far Russia has taken Crimea, a peninsula in southern Ukraine, but it may take more of give you the information you need about me and my eventual argument? Now that you know I the Ukrainian state. The question is what, if anything, the U.S. will do about it. Economic have dry eye, am I officially modish and whimsical and ethereal and oh-so-indie? Does the fact sanctions will not deter Russia, particularly if powerful and wealthy nations such as China these are the only details I’m revealing for God knows what reason make me seem like a mysteri- support its imperial efforts in Europe. And I assume that we are not willing to intervene ous, vaguely vintage sprite? Does it make me seem coy? Or perhaps so deep and sagely and cool militarily to support our new ally in Eastern Europe: doing so would risk a third world war, that the administration officially closed school? Do you now want to listen to a song I wrote about especially if Russian military forces continue to occupy Ukraine. that guy who gave me a weird look that one time? And if not that one, I have a few others kind of Yet it does not seem fair that the Ukrainian people should be abandoned by the inter- similar to it. Let me know. national community, particularly if there is a civil war, and particularly if Russia engages And, after I went on Taylor Swift’s website, that above paragraph is just one of the several in warfare against the Ukrainian government. While we cannot risk direct intervention, it rants that came spewing out of my fingers. In the “About” section of taylorswift.com, the youthful would probably be wise to send military and nonmilitary aid to Kiev to put down any Krem- Tswizzle embarks on what should, logically, be a brief autobiography. It is an “About” section on lin-controlled insurrections and to ensure that Russia cannot form any new Russian Empire, her website, so surely it has relevant details about her, no? Soviet Union, or Slavic state. Well, no. Instead of relevant facts about the actual, oh, I don’t know, life and career of Tay- We must also keep an eye on China during this. While normally a peaceful player on the lor Swift (lol what), she gives her reader 408 words of the mishmash I lampooned in this col- world stage, this has not historically been the case: the People’s Republic of China has mili- umn’s opening. Rather than detailing her life and rise to fame, Swift decides instead to impart five tarily intervened in Korea, conquered and annexed Tibet, threatened to retake Taiwan and paragraphs of, um, highly metaphysical gems upon her reader that deal with deep, deep themes, Mongolia, and has had armed conflicts with the Soviet Union, India, and Vietnam; all in the themes far deeper than the sarcasm I am unwelding right now. Here is one such real-life quote off latter half of the 20th century. China may seek to use the Crimea scenario as a precedent for of her website: maintaining and securing its interests in Eastern Asia. “I don't like it when something or someone turns out to be different than what you originally Indeed, the second worst case scenario that can emerge from the Ukrainian situation thought. Like when you're shopping and you find a really cute dress, only to realize it’s actually a (aside from a global war) is the encouragement of nations hostile or historically adversarial strange jumpsuit situation. But I mostly don't like it when it happens with people.” to the United States to develop their own empires so as to gain enough power and resources And I bring all of this up now because this posturing as a quirky, America’s sweetheart is driv- to threaten the United States and its allies. ing me insane. Here is what I think of Taylor Swift. I do think Taylor Swift is a talented songwriter. I do not mean to overlook or excuse the United States’s own unlawful military interven- “Back to December” seriously puts a lump in my throat every single time I listen to it on the down tions. I do not suggest that we are an innocent party to the current state of international af- low. I do think Taylor Swift understands her genre very well. I do think Taylor Swift is not entirely fairs. But this action of Russia’s, and the fact that Moscow has implied that it can and may overrated. Her singing has, er, improved. And I understand why she, a mainstream Southern belle seize other historically Russian areas of Europe and perhaps Asia is extremely troublesome, whose appearance and music are both easy to swallow, has become so successful. to say the least. The world is much safer with a weak Russia, and much more dangerous and But here’s the thing: the reasons she has become so successful are what I find objectionable. unstable with Vladimir Putin. And the artist she has to paint herself as in recent years — an angsty millennial hopelessly driven There is, I think, one way to make Russia pay over their crimes against Ukraine and by her heart and style of a bygone age — is an untrue, tremendously disingenuous falsehood. The international law (which they were pretty concerned with when America considered an in- image she’s selling is phony, and I’m sick of people buying it. Including Taylor Swift herself. tervention in Syria). It is important to recognize that Vladimir Putin is a dictator who is tak- Let me start with the biggest fallacy of the Taylor Swift narrative: she is just like us. She’s ing this action against Ukraine in large part to boost his popularity inside his country. The quirky, too!! She likes TV! And cats! Hey, sometimes even she gets her heart broken! And, she Russian people are not fools: they know firsthand what kind of man and leader the former even gets sad about it. Like an actual human and everything. KGB agent is. While he is (probably) not a secret communist/Soviet trying to bring back the Now, to be clear, I’m not trying to discount the fact that Taylor Swift is, in fact, a 24 year-old Soviet Union, he is a Russian nationalist who wishes to establish a Russian Empire that uses American woman. This checks out as entirely true. You win that one, Tswizzle. Honestly, I do its economic energy and military power to bully its neighbors, and possibly large portions believe she goes through many of the same trials and tribulations all young adults do: she plainly of Europe and Asia. doesn’t feel great about her love life, and it seems as though she’s struggling with how to identify The wisest way to get Russia to discontinue its acts is to embarrass Vladimir Putin, and herself as a new member of this bracing adult world. I do believe she goes through these kinds of attempt to remove him as leader of Russia. Russia is obviously comfortable broadcasting personal crises all the time, the way any person growing up anywhere, anytime, surely will. propaganda into Ukraine, perhaps the United States and Ukraine itself should return the But what I don’t believe is that her struggles are all that relatable, and she should stop trying favor. We cannot have a rogue nation that seizes parts of nations (let’s not forget Georgia to sell them as though they are. I want her to stop pretending she’s lost in this world, the way so here) and gets away with it, biding its time to dominate at least a good portion of the world many twentysomethings are. I want her to stop using lines like “there are too many cool kids,” as and subjugate it. Let’s weaken Russia economically, diplomatically, and in terms of its and she does in “22,” because, obviously, she is one of the coolest kids. I wish she’d stop pretending its leader’s reputation. By doing this, we can make a proud man like Putin pay, embarrass she has no clue where her life will go because, obviously, she’s set for life. an arrogant nation, and make other nations wishing to follow the Putin model reconsider And don’t get me wrong: I am aware that every artist constructs a narrative around his or whether they want to face the possibility of their own nation being destabilized by their own her self and that those images are not entirely real. I get why Taylor Swift would pretend to be destabilizing actions. a wandering post-grad in a “miserable and magical” world. She’s trying to tap into this quirky, Nicholas Riebel is a first-year staff writer. Email him at [email protected]. Girls-esque, millennial angst, and she has no right to it. I will listen to this narrative from Lena Dunham, not from a multiplatinum recording artist Because the truth is, Taylor Swift has rich white girl problems and a rich white girl life. And I, as a middle class white girl with equally insignificant problems, am personally sick of hearing about both. I get that her life can be “hard.” But so far as we think, all of our lives are hard. And as far as the cards of fate can be divyed out, I think she, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, with awards, acclaim, and hundreds of millions of dollars to her name, got dealt a pretty great hand. If her life were actually that hard, would she not have something to fill her repertoire other than a laundry list of bad break-ups? It bothers me that she gets to stake a claim to the instability she’s never had to live just because it’s trendy and been selling well. Quit pretending you’re anything less than successfully, comfortably mainstream, Tswiz. It’s offensive to the rest of us. You are the human version of that "bizarre jumpsuit situation." I know you have the right to feel 22 like anyone else, but I’m just going to have to ask you to keep it to yourself. Erin Moyer, the Opinions and Editorials editor, is a sophomore American Studies major. Email her at [email protected] Sodexo should take hairnet regulations seriously must admit, the fact that the majority of Sodexo workers on campus do not wear hairnets never really bothered me — that is, until I noticed hair in the food. Yes, I have seen with my own eyes hair in my food, and the food of others, on multiple occasions. I do not know what it is about someone else’s hair in my food that makes my stomach knot and makes me (almost) lose my Iappetite, but it is not a pleasant feeling. I cringed the first time I witnessed a Sodexo employee’s hair fall from their head and land ever so gently in the Salsa Rico sour cream batch. I experienced a short-lived moment of disbelief, but the sight before my eyes was confirmed as true when the employee plucked the long strand from the sour cream and then proceeded to ask me if I would like guac or sour cream with my quesa- dilla… yeah, no thank you. The second time the antics were upped, and I found three strands of hair intertwined with the mozzarella cheese in my flatbread. I was so hungry I was willing to eat the other half of the flatbread before heading to my next important, mandatory F&M thing when I found yet another hair. I took my flatbread back and one of Sodexo employees at ZeBi’s was so kind as to make me a new tomato mozzarella flatbread — this time, thankfully, without the hair. So, I have been brought to this question: why exactly don’t any of the Sodexo workers on campus wear hairnets? Well, I have seen one lone employee sporting a net, but one out of a few dozen just is not cutting it for me. Yes, they all wear caps of some sort at all times, but this does not do much for those with long flowing locks. I know, I know — hairnets are not mandatory. According to the Food Safety Standards, “all food handlers [should] take all practicable measures to ensure anything from their body or clothing does not contaminate food or food contact sur- faces, including minimizing direct contact with ready-to-eat food.” That is to say, they are no regulations that require all food handlers cover their hair in any capacity as long as the measures they are taking to keep their hair, or any of part of their person, out of my food is “practicable.” Also, these food safety regulations are left up to our wonderful food providers at Sodexo. Well, Sodexo, I have got news for you: the absence of hairnets is a problem. I was curious so I looked up the price of hairnets. Amazon has two for $6, and Sodexo, a multibillion dollar company could surely receive some sort of discount from your friendly neighborhood hairnet-making company, and, if they did not, they could still afford to buy them anyway. Long hair tucked away by a small cap is not taking all measures to make sure your hair stays on your head and not in my food. Step it up, Sodexo. Seriously. Brianna Robinson is a sophomore contributing writer. Email her at [email protected]. All opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of The College Reporter. To write a response to any opinions expressed above, contact Opinions & Editorials editor Erin Moyer at [email protected]. Page 6 The College Reporter Campus Life Poet spreads Despite logistical issues, plastic fish as decor, sexual assault restaurant Oka offers tasty Asian fusion fare From my perspective... of noodle and rice dishes, varying crystals that melted in our mouths. Two awareness —Amy Schulman from pad thai to fried rice. Vegetarian out of the four entrées arrived, and un- By Alissa Portner The setting is typically faux-Asian, options are also available. Oka is open able to prevent myself from delaying Contributing Writer featuring watercolor paintings hang- seven days a week. eating, I dug into my rice noodles, ac- This week the F&M campus was de- ing above a long booth opposite color- Entrées range from $9 to $20, fea- companied by chicken, Chinese broc- lighted to have Staceyann Chin speak ful fish that deck the walls above an turing enormous portions that can be coli, and egg. Perhaps the kitchen is at the Take Back the Night celebration. enormous sushi counter. Behind a bar either shared with friends or boxed up still working out some snags, but the Chin is a LGBT and feminist rights ac- sitting in the front of the restaurant lies and eaten for lunch the following day. other entrées arrived by the time I was tivist and is best known for her poetry the main dining room, large enough to Even though the restaurant is barely halfway done with my dish. performances. She utilizes her poetry seat 85 diners in cream-colored booths a week old, it still needs to work out a Even with these small issues, we to fight against the oppressive and con- and at tables squeezed together to ac- few kinks. My party arrived on a Fri- were all still satisfied, our bellies full stricting stereotypes that she has been commodate large parties. day night to a somewhat empty dining and wallets only slightly emptier. Oka subjected to throughout her life. The new Asian fusion restaurant, room, filled primarily by Franklin & is undoubtedly superior to Sakura and The Alice Drum Women’s Cen- owned by Qian Kai Li and Qian Gang Marshall students, only to be told by Chinese Express and within walking ter, the Philadelphia Alumni Writer’s Li, brothers who also own Sakura and the maître’d she had to check on her distance to campus, beneficial to first House, the Office of the Dean of the Chinese Express, boast Japanese, Chi- wait staff before seating us. We sat on years and upperclassmen who crave College, the women’s and gender nese and Thai fare. The menu features a bench in the entrance for ten minutes Asian cuisine yet lack cars. A tasty studies department, Bonchek College over two pages worth of sushi, made at before being led to an empty booth in edition to join The Shoppes at Col- House, Weis College House, and Mi- the open sushi bar where diners passing the main dining room. lege Row, Oka provides a warm atmo- kaela Luttrell-Rowland, director of by stop and observe the chefs meticu- We were greeted by a friendly and sphere and supplies an affordable and the Alice Drum Women’s Center and lously rolling out sushi by hand. The smiley waiter and examined the menu diverse selection of Asian fare. adjunct assistant professor of women’s restaurant also serves typical Chinese carefully. We ordered, and our appetiz- and gender studies, worked tirelessly dishes for those who crave General ers arrived shortly after. The four of us Sophomore Amy Schulman is a layout to bring Chin to F&M. Tso’s or teriyaki chicken along with polished off an order of edamame, per- assistant. Her email is aschulman@ Chin sold out Barshinger Perform- spicy Thai curries and an arrangement fectly warm and covered in huge salt fandm.edu. ing Arts Center and captivated the au- dience with her insightful poetry. Her stanzas were filled with a critique of Chi Phi fraternity hosts annual 5K the sexualized world that perpetuates within paradigms of “who” people should be and “how” they should act. She spoke directly to the victims of sexual assault, racism, and overall marginalization. Chin was a presenter with a meaningful message about how to stand up and be oneself but also about finding oneself within a world that often tries to define people. Her message was fierce and bare and this conversation epitomized her zeal and passion for change. Chin was specifically chosen to come to Take Back the Night. While she speaks of many very somber and frightening life experiences, she also emphasizes the positive change and strength these experiences can bring to all victims. This event was meant to be an inspiration and to truly “take back the night,” through the power to stand up against sexual violence, both indi- vidually and collectively. Chi Phi fraternity hosted the Dunleavy-Calahan Chi Phi 5K for Chin grew up in Jamaica and, as Cancer Research, its 10th annual race, on April 19. The race was both a woman and a lesbian, she was subject to immense amounts of vio- dedicated to Lawrence Calahan and Daniel Dunleavy. Proceeds lence and brutality. She stressed the dif- were donated to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. ficulties within her childhood, youth, and adulthood but also correlated these to her decision to move to the U.S. and redefine who she was based on who she actually desired to be. Chin spoke about her longing to break all conventional societal molds by recit- ing many of her famous poems. Topics ranged from sexual violence to love and passion.

Sophomore Alissa Portner is a contrib- uting writer. Her email is aportner@ fandm.edu. photos by Bryce Loebel ’15 April 21, 2014 Campus Life Page 7 Helm explores role of emotion, morality, rationality in human reason By Justin Kozloski way that allows them to be defined as Senior Staff persons. What does it mean to be a person? “The criteria for being a person is This was the question this week’s designed to capture those attributes Common Hour sought to answer with which are the subject of our most hu- a talk by Bennett W. Helm, Elijah mane concern with ourselves and the E. Kresge professor of philosophy, source of what we regard as most im- titled “Emotional Reason and what portant and most problematic in our it is to be a Person.” This Common live,” Helm said. Hour was slightly different in that Helm went on to discuss how peo- there was a sign language interpreter ple are both rational and moral crea- provided by the American Sign Lan- tures and how the rational mind cannot guage association. be separated from the emotional and Helm began his talk by outlining moral aspects of a person. how traditional schools of philoso- “When we talk about ourselves as phy have sought to define a person in rational animals, philosophers believe the past. that there are two separate states of “Traditional philosophy holds that reason,” Helm said. “There is theoreti- emotion and reason are in constant cal reasoning which is reasoning about oppositions but that is a misconcep- that which is true. That can be as mun- tion,” Helm said. “Emotion is fun- dane as trying to figure out where you damental to the formation of our left your cell phone to as to as complex reasoning.” and interesting as scientific reasoning. To begin, Helm pointed out that There is theoretically reasoning on the recently, people have begun to reduce one hand and on the other is practical the concepts of their values into terms reasoning. Practical reasoning is rea- of currency and that this concept, of soning on what to do, which includes reducing intangible experiences of not merely trying to satisfy our desires emotion, is decreasing the role emo- but, more interestingly, trying to figure tions play in the formulation of rea- out how to live.” son. He also went on to show how we “We are rational creatures and we deem some experiences priceless and are also moral creatures,” Helm con- what this means for the money-based tinued. “Moral creatures are creatures photo by Krissy Montville ’14 value system. that are capable of some kind of moral Bennett Helm, Elijah E. Kresge professor of philosophy, delivered a “To say that [experiences] are agency and this involves being respon- Common Hour presentation on emotional reason. priceless is not to say that they are sible to moral standards and account- worth any amount of money that you able to others, both practically and the- Helm defined emotion as a pat- ment of a life that is worth living.”The might be willing to pay for them,” oretically. Practically for what we do terned response to something either conclusion to the talk was the state- Helm said. “Rather, it is to say that the and theoretically for what we think.” positive or negative that happens to an ment that the ideas of split rational value they have is a value that cannot This discussion of persons as both individual. This pattern of response is thinking and the irrational emotion be assessed in monetary terms.” rational and moral beings led to a con- constructed based on a target, which is are false and that both are necessary After pointing out that basing clusion about the role of emotions in the object or event that triggers a re- for the construction of the person. emotions on monetary value is im- the determination of our agency to sponse, a formal object, which is the “The mind is not the sort of thing possible, Helm moved on to define both reason and make decisions about evaluation of the emotional response, that is split into an irrational faculty what it is to be a person. important matters. and the focus, which are the back- of emotion on one hand and the ra- “The classification of persons is “What I want to suggest is that our ground events that make someone tion faculty of judgement on the not the same as the classification of capacity for free and responsible agen- care about and make intelligible the other,” Helm said. “Rather, your emo- human beings,” Helm said. cy are grounded in our emotional and emotive evaluation in terms of the for- tions and your judgements come to- Helm also pointed out that there can social nature,” he said. mal object. gether as more or less equal partners be persons that are not human beings However, in order to understand “To care about something is to have to form a single value perspective. A and human beings that are not techni- this statement, it was necessary for that object have import to you,” Helm single perspective that constitutes our cally persons, such as infants and the Helm to explain the formation and un- said. “To care about something is for caring.” severely mentally-handicapped who derstanding of emotion and how this it to be the focus of a projectable, ra- cannot internalize and contemplate construction leads to the development tional pattern of emotions. To value Senior Justin Kozloski is senior staff. their emotions and experiences in a of value and care. something is to care about it as an ele- His email is [email protected].

photo by Krissy Montville ’14 Helm’s presentation, which contemplated what is means to be a person, was accompanied by an American Sign Language interpreter. He spoke about assesing human worth in terms of currency and assessed human rationality and morality. Page 8 The College Reporter Arts & Entertainment Duck Sauce releases first studio album to eager fans Van Helden, A-Trak incorporate duck theme into every track on album was released April 15, and Duck Sauce amount of clips, the songs stay true to still the pre-released singles — al- Album Review didn’t hold back on the sampling. The Duck Sauce’s style. Duck Sauce’s style though the songs Ring Me and Span- Quack style of Armand Van Helden and A- includes taking clips from older songs dex are quickly growing on me, and I Duck Sauce Trak is attributed to the creation of mu- (from the 50s to the 80s), and creating suspect the addictive sound of the oth- sic around samples from other songs electronic tracks that sound incredibly er songs on the album will sway me as by Brien Miceli and sources of social media (Barbara retro, containing influences from fil- well in due time. I give this album a B. Finally, after nearly four years, Duck Streisand was written around the sam- tered disco, old-skool hip-hop, funk, The songs are great, the production is Sauce has come out with their first stu- ple of Gotta Go Home by Boney M.), electro, and late-90s French house. Es- great, but the voice clips were simply dio album. Duck Sauce is a collabora- and Quack continues that trend com- sentially the group takes catchy riffs and overindulged by the expert producers. tion between producers and performers pletely. Not all the samples are from makes them even catchier by revamp- However, it’s still worth a full listen. Armand Van Helden and A-Trak that songs. Many of the vocal samples are ing them. Think of the style in Barbara Unfortunately, I can’t review all started in New York in 2010. It was stripped from famous news broadcasts, Streisand in every single song on the albums and EPs, but you should also originally a side project for the two comedy shows, and other sources, such album. In fact, very few of the songs check out these albums and EPs that producers and still is — albeit a side as in the song Chariots of the Gods, on the album are brand new. Barbara were released recently: Built on Glass project that’s arguably more popular which heavily features the sound of Streisand, It’s You, Radio Stereo, NRG, – Chet Faker, Don’t Wait EP – Mapei, than either of them. Even though Duck ducks quacking, old science fiction and aNYway were songs that were all Sweet Disarray – Dan Croll, Winter Sauce has become wildly popular, the broadcast clips, and a somewhat bi- pre-released over the past four years. & The Wolves – Grieves, Truth Serum group still keeps to its side project roots zarre original monologue introducing Some of them, including NRG and EP – Tove Lo, and, if you like Duck by not taking itself too seriously. All of the album. It’s You, have already been officially Sauce, Skrillex’s incredibly progres- Duck Sauce’s tracks contain the theme Even at the end of most songs that remixed by electronic superstars such sive new album Recess is much better of ducks; if the animal is not directly al- were previously released as singles as Bingo Players, Hudson Mohawke, than I thought. luded to in the given song, it is featured free of these samples of people speak- Skrillex, Kill the Noise, Dada Life, and in the track or album art work. In addi- ing, Duck Sauce added samples. While DJ Snake. First-year Brien Miceli is a staff writer. tion, the music videos contain ridicu- this is all great and artsy, and while I’m I was very excited to see the little- His email is [email protected]. lous scenes you have to see to believe. positive that, at a live venue, these clips known song aNYway make the final I’m sure almost everyone reading this would charge the crowd before a song cut onto the album as it was the first Review Rating: article has heard of the hit song Bar- drops, I’m not yet sure of how I feel song Duck Sauce ever produced. In bara Streisand from 2010 and perhaps about it on the studio album interrupt- addition, the alternative version of B even It’s You, Duck Sauce’s popular ing the smooth transitions between the Barbara Streisand is killin’ it on this Musicality and production are held single that came out last year. songs. album. I love it. After listening to the back by overindulged voice clips. The new album, entitled Quack, With the exception of the gratuitous whole album, my favorite songs are Lights Out falls short of high standards, expectations Michaelson’s experimentalism ruins album’s overall listening experience However, there are few lyrics, with significant improvement after “Home.” Album Review significantly unvaried lines, at that. Storyman adds a nice contrast between Lights Out I would elaborate, but there simply both vocal sound as well as vocal style Ingrid Michaelson isn’t any other underlying meaning in comparison to Michaelson’s own that I can identify. There is a constant, performances. by Julia Chirls catchy background jingle that adds “Living like you’re dying” are four The many fans of Ingrid Michaelson some lightness to the song as a whole, of the many lyrics to “Afterlife,” the may have had some disposable income but, here, you try to figure it out: “Even second most popular song on Lights on April 15, which coincided with the in the harshest of winter I feel so warm Out and the twelfth song on the track release of Lights Out, her new album. / Even when the marks climb up the list. These words make up the song, Michaelson’s career as an indie-pop, wall I still feel small / This is my home and we have heard it many times be- singer-songwriter began in 2002 when / This is my home / Where I go when fore. “When the world is breaking she performed at local venues and re- I’ve got nowhere else to go / This is down around you / Taking everything / leased her music through social media. my home / This is my home.” that you know / What you didn’t know In January of 2005, she released her Moving down the track list, “You / Is that we can go forever / If we want very first studio album entitled Slow Got Me” is the fourth song on the al- to we can live / Inside of a moment / the Rain on her own label, Cabin 24 bum. The song features Storyman, The one that we own.” Records. She is commercially known a pop-indie duo of Kevin May and Although the song sends an impor- for her song “Be OK,” and her music Mick Lynch, which also wrote the lyr- tant message to listeners, Michaelson is often featured on TV shows such as photo courtesy of www.commons.wikimedia.org ics. The duo rose to fame as members attempts to go out of her element, add- Scrubs, Bones, and Grey’s Anatomy. Ingrid Michealson’s album Lights of the band The Guggenheim Grotto. ing some rock-like sounds to the tune. During Michaelson’s 12-year ca- Out was released April 15. They sing of a man pleading for his It does not work. reer, she released six studio albums. is noticeably out of her element. love to return. He describes how his Michaelson is scheduled to per- Her 2006 album, Girls and Boys, hit The production of Lights Out began life is without her and, later, what it is form in Canada alongside Story- #1 on the US Heat peak chart, while in 2013, when Michaelson began re- like when she re-enters it. man and Alternate Routes. On April Human Again hit #1 on the U.S. Indie cording the only single on the album, “And I’m tangled in thoughts of 21, they will travel to Montreal peak chart in 2012. With this release, it “Girls Chase Boys.” It was released on you / And I’m all alone till you come and on April 22, they will travel to could be, literally, Lights Out for this Feb. 4, 2014, and, on iTunes, it is cur- back home / Why don’t you come Toronto. Lights Out is currently avail- scrappy singer. She admitted to doing rently the most popular of the tracks. back home?” “Oh falling for the world able for purchase on iTunes for $10.99. things differently this time — the first So maybe she should have, as they say, again / Oh falling back to you / I was My disposable income will not be clue — employing several writers rath- quit while she was ahead. nailed shut like a shack on the edge of wasted on this. er than writing on her own and diver- The song that kicks off the album town / You were broken down / Till sifying the range of her music. How- is entitled “Home.” She sounds timid, you came around.” First-year Julia Chirls is a staff writer. ever, she was fairly unsuccessful. She singing in the only place she feels safe. This song has a steady beat and is a Her email is [email protected]. April 21, 2014 Arts & Entertainment Page 9 Transcendence flops, leaves all audiences unfulfilled Depp, Freeman fail to salvage Nolan’s newest science fiction thriller mal humans, artificial rain, and really conversation. In fact, neither character is there all that energetic. Transcen- Movie Review fast growing plants. The science in this ever comes close to discussing ideas of dence is a film that might break even Transcendence film is neither fascinating enough to this magnitude ever again in the film. and survive the oncoming summer please science fiction fans or awesome This is what’s most frustrating blockbuster onslaught if only because by Jeffrey Robinowitz enough to please action fans. To say about Transcendence, it is a film about it tricks audiences into thinking it has Just because Christopher Nolan’s that least, the film could’ve benefited infinite possibilities and the power of something it wants. Unfortunately, it name is on it doesn’t mean it’s good. from maybe a few more laser cannons unrestrained intelligence, yet it is com- doesn’t. Sci-Fi fans will find it unorig- Following the major disappointment or giant metal deathbots. pletely lacking in depth and disregards inal, message movie fans will find it that was last year’s Man of Steel, pro- However, the film’s biggest issue is all the good ideas it presents without superficial, and action movie fans will ducer Nolan returns to help his former the disconnect between where it tries ever developing them. find it dull. Don’t spend your money on cinematography Wally Pfister out with to land thematic and where it actually Ultimately, Transcendence tries to this one, God knows Johnny Depp al- his directorial debut, Transcendence, a ends up. Much like Spike Jonze’s Her, be a jack-of-all-trades, but ends up as ready has plenty (seriously he’s getting science fiction thriller with a message. this film chooses to go beyond the more of a 2-7 offsuit (meaning it won’t a $20 million paycheck plus 15 percent At least, that’s what it wants to be. Al- mere concept of our relationship with help you get a straight, flush, or a de- of the gross. Talk about a scientific though the talent in front of and behind technology (specifically AI) and at- cent pair, or in this case, a good sci- miscalculation). the camera is undeniably talented, tempts to address more human issues. ence fiction film, a good action film, or Transcendence is a film that will leave Despite some very promising initial a good moral film). The film attempts First-year Jeffrey Robinowitz is a staff all those who see it wondering exactly ideas about cultism, religion, and the to use the science fiction premise as a writer. His email is jrobinow@fandm. what kind of film they just saw. existence of God, the scope of the stage for a deep exploration of signifi- edu. In the pursuit of fairness, I would film never matches the grandeur of its cant moral questions, but this concept like to point out the film’s pros first. ideas. Big statements about the impor- has been better executed in numerous Review Rating: Pfister, the four-time Oscar nominee tance individuals can play in the lives films like2001: A Space Odyssey, Her, and one-time winner, has made a film of other people and the interconnect- and the Terminator franchise. As far as D with outstanding aesthetic qualities. edness of all living things fall on deaf the quality of the action, there certainly Transcendence lacks originality, Both the visual effects and the visual ears when the film fails to show the isn’t enough of it to compare to a stan- depth, and action. style are top-notch, with Pfister prov- implications of such beliefs. The film dard action flick, nor is the action that ing that Nolan’s trademark flair is not never leaves its few central locations the product of a single man. The film and we never get to see how all these looks great whether the scene is of a events are affecting the real world. futuristic super lab or a normal Cali- The film also suffers from a com- • New Releases • fornian home. plete failure to explore its characters. Week of Monday, April 21 Unfortunately, while the science At one point in the film, a character that made the film is great, the sci- fighting against the AI reveals the bas- ence in the film is lackluster. Noth- es of her actions are the very teachings Music ing about the technology in this film of one of the scientists who created Tuesday, Apr. 22 is new, nor is it any better than what the AI. She is leading her people on a we’ve already seen before. Countless quest against science on the ideas of films have tackled the idea of AI be- a scientist. In one single instance, the fore and have done so with much more film presents potential questions about intriguing design. You’ve seen killer unintended consequences, hypocriti- assassin robots, bullet dodging super- cal motives, and even the possibility spies, and even a Blue Fairy voiced of one God creating another God. And Bastille Neon Trees Francesca Keb Mo by Meryl Streep. Now get ready for: then what happens? These two char- All This Bad Pop Battistelli Bluesamericana enhanced androids that look like nor- acters never have another meaningful Blood Psychology If We’re Honest Throwback of Movies the Week Friday, Apr. 25 Artist: Michael Jackson Track: “The Way You Make Me Feel”

On Nov. 9, 1987, Michael Jackson released the third single off of his album Bad, “The Way You Make Me Feel.” The single was massively The Other Brick Mansion The Quiet Blue Ruin successful, rising to the number 1 Woman Ones spot on the Billboard Hot 100 and charted in the top 10 and 20 globally. Songs like “The Way You Make Me Blu-Ray Feel” are the reason why Bad went Tuesday, Apr. 22 on to go nine times Platinum in the United States alone and produce a photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons record five Billboard Hot 100 num- ber ones singles. The single’s music video, released on Oct. 31, 1987 was nominated for Best Choreography alongside Jackson’s video for “Bad,” at the 1988 MTV Video Music Awards. “The Way You Make Me Feel” has been covered and parodied numerous times by artists such as John Legend and Stevie Wonder, The Jonas Brothers, and Whitney Houston. Conspiracy Sorcerer Get Carter Exit Wounds Though his life ended tragically early in 2009 at the age of 50, Michael Theory Jackson will always be remembered and loved as the King of Pop. Jack- son’s posthumous album Xscape will be released May 9. — photos courtesy of www.amazon.com April 21, 2014 Sports Page 10 Championship teams’ fans riot, spread havoc, disorder ter. While there was a constant buzz of disapproval from news outlets, col- lege-aged students from around the country were congratulating UConn on “turning up” the right way. Is this simply a generational gap topic that the older crowd will never under- stand? Or could it be that one side has the more valid point? The fact of the matter is that vandal- izing your school is considered cool to some people, no matter how back- wards that sounds. If your favorite team wins, it really feels like you won along with them. By throwing a wild celebratory party, you’re showing an intense amount of school pride. Regardless, there will always be another side to the coin. A celebration should not be reprimanded, but reck- photo courtesy of Kelly Presnell, Staff Photographer for Arizona Daily Star less festivities that could potentially A lone protester opposes a line of Tucson Police at a riot after the Arizona Wildcats’ loss in the March Madness Final Four. Riots harm others cannot be condoned. This were common at numerous universities that participated in March Madness this year, which has been a growing trend. is the only shot college students get to BY Jonathan Blader I ask these questions out of pure announced it would bring in a DJ to be part of a counterculture; blowing Staff Writer curiosity. Rioting after sporting events please the crowds, but it was a useless off steam shouldn’t be condemned. Imagine, just for a second that has become somewhat of a tradition at proposition. As is college tradition, With the stress that college puts on F&M athletics were all Division One. some of the bigger state schools with heavy drinking occurred before, dur- today’s students, should UConn be Through hard work and determina- prominent athletic programs. This re- ing, and after the game, with UConn content with only $55,000 worth of tion, one of the College’s teams was cent trend was thrust into the public students becoming rowdier by the damage? playing in the national championship eye once again after the University of minute. Therefore, it shouldn’t come If this were to happen at F&M, game. Win or lose, the campus is a Connecticut saw both its men’s and as a surprise that students climbed on where would you stand? Would you powder keg poised to explode. If this women’s basketball teams win na- trees, started fires, flipped cars, and take to the streets and show your Dip- unlikely scenario were to play out, tional championships. Shortly after vandalized campus until the wee hours lomat pride? Or would you stay in, would there be rioting on Hartman the men’s win over the University of of the morning. When all was said and refusing to participate in the once-in- Green? Would the Dip faithful tear Kentucky on April 7, the thousands done, 35 people were arrested, and a-lifetime debauchery that was about down the light posts and plunge them of fans that had been rooting for the $55,000 worth of damage occurred. to ensue? through the windows of Zebi’s? How Huskies from inside Gampel Pavil- Most of the media wrote this event would Public Safety cope with a thou- ion, UConn’s on-campus arena, were off as immature college kids letting First-year Jonathan Blader is a staff sand intoxicated students climbing up joined by thousands more support- loose in an irresponsible fashion, but writer. His email is jblader@fandm. trees? ers. Prior to the game, the University there is more to be said about the mat- edu. Bubba Watson wins second green jacket with style fast chain Waffle House and tweeted a selfie from the restaurant with his wife and friends. He also reportedly left a $148 tip for his server. I guess winning $1.62 million dollars put him in a giv- ing mood. Watson is known for his distinctive “homemade swing,” his rambling in- terviews, and his long Twitter conver- sations with followers on the morning of the Master’s Cup. He has pioneered his own style called “Bubba Golf,” and his long-time caddy, Ted Scott, has called “Bubba Golf” a “freak show.” Scott has gone on record saying, “I can’t describe it any other way. I’ve played golf with him probably 40, 50 times, and every single day that I play

photo courtesy of dailymail.co.uk. golf with him or watch him play golf Bubba Watson is awarded the coveted green jacket after winning his second Master’s Cup title. Amazingly, he has never taken a I just go, how do you do that? And I single golf lession in his life. Instead, he created his own style of golf called “Bubba Golf.” asked him on 18, after he hit the tee BY SOPHIE AFDHAL as Tiger Woods, Jack Niklaus, and Phil previous win, in which he battled up shot, ‘Are you from Mars or some- Sports Editor Mickelson. until the very end, Watson arrived at thing? Because I don’t believe you can It is not only talent but also person- His performance at the Augusta the 18th hole this year knowing he had hit these shots that you hit.’” ality that makes us love professional National course made his win well- won. He beat out second place Jordan Bubba Watson has cemented him- athletes, and golfer Bubba Watson has deserved. He dominated the field in Spieth by a three shot margin. 20-year- self as a one-of-a-kind eccentric talent. plenty of both. Watson, golf’s quirki- driving distance with an average of old Spieth would have made history as Between winning two green coats and est athlete, had his skills on full dis- 305.63 yards off the tee and was also well as the youngest winner of a ma- entertaining us all with his antics, Wat- play this week when he secured his tied for fifth in greens regulation, hit- jor championship since the 1931 PGA son will soon be a household name in second Master’s Cup title win in three ting 50 of 72 during the week. He also Championship. golf, and I look forward to seeing what years — winning for the first time in placed 16th in putting. Combined, this In addition to his talent, everyone is headlines he splashes across next. 2012. Watson joins the ranks of only was all enough to secure him his sec- talking about Watson’s quirkier quali- 8 other golfers who have won in such ond green jacket, $1.62 million dollars, ties. Watson supposedly celebrated his Junior Sophie Afdhal is the Sports Edi- a short time, with notable names such and his 6th PGA tour win. Unlike the Master’s win by going to the break- tor. Her email is [email protected]. Page 11 The College Reporter April 21, 2014

Does sports bring a wide-spread culture of rioting to Bubba Watson won his second Master’s Cup title. For full college campuses? Read on... page 10 story see... page 10

photo courtesy of kpho.com Franklin & Marshall Sports Both UConn basketball teams triumph in March Madness Kentucky team is being compared to the “Fab Five” on Michigan in the early 1990s. Unfortunately for Kentucky, they ran into the wrong team in the final game. The UConn Huskies, led by their guards Shaba- zz Napier and Ryan Boatright and their defense, stopped the freshmen of Kentucky in the championship game, winning 60-54. Harvard defeating Cincinnati, Mercer beating Duke, and North Dakota State knocking off Okla- homa; that is why the NCAA tour- nament is called March Madness. The NCAA tournament is the time where players we have never heard of shine. It’s a time where teams help put their schools on the map. It’s a time where seniors say good- bye and stars are born. This year, photo courtesy of UConn Sports Napier seized the moment and University of Connecticut’s men’s and women’s basketball teams won the March Madness NCAA tournaments. This is not the helped UConn capture its 4th cham- first time that the University. based in Storrs, CT, has swept both of the Division I College Basketball Titles. pionship since 1999. BY Mark Dourmashkin surprising as seeing the #11-seed second time since the Indiana Hoo- Staff Writer Dayton Flyers in the Elite Eight; siers did it back in 1976. Kentucky Senior Mark Dourmashkin is a staff As soon as the calendar turns to or even Stanford knock off #2-seed beat all these teams by starting writer. His email is mdourmashk@ March, the word “bracket” has a Kansas in the third round. five freshmen. Immediately, this fandm.edu. whole new meaning. People who Parity is growing in college bas- don’t even follow college basketball ketball, and it’s growing fast. The fill out a bracket. Before the tourna- 2006 NCAA tournament miracle UPCOMING GAMES ment starts everyone believes they run by George Mason, then But- can create the perfect bracket. Year ler in 2010, and then Florida Gulf after year, you always tell yourself Coast in 2013, all show why anyone WOMEN’S LACROSSE this is going to be the year. Unfor- can win. This year, Dayton was the April 23 @ Gettysburg* 7 p.m. tunately, the odds of filling out a tournament’s Cinderella team. Up- April 26 vs. Dickinson* 12 p.m. perfect bracket are forever against setting Ohio State in the very first you: 9.2 quad-trillion to 1. When game of the NCAA tournament set SOFTBALL filling out a bracket, lower your ex- the tone for the rest of the tourna- April 22 vs. Elizabethtown* 3 p.m. & 5 p.m. pectations, go with your gut, and ment. The eleventh-seeded Flyers enjoy one of the best post-season then knocked off college basketball April 24 vs. Eastern* 3 p.m. & 5 p.m. tournament’s the sports world has powerhouse Syracuse Orange and BASEBALL defeated Stanford to make it to the to offer. April 22 @ Haverford* 3:30 p.m. This year, like most years, no Elite Eight. Besides Dayton, only one had a perfect bracket. In fact, Tennessee and Stanford were the April 23 @ Elizabethtown 4 p.m. only 486 people who filled out other double-digit seeds to make it MEN’S LACROSSE brackets online, picked the correct to the Sweet Sixteen. April 23 @ Gettysburg* 4 p.m. final: University of Connecticut For the entire season, most of “UConn” vs. Kentucky. Univer- the country was only exposed to April 26 vs. Dickinson* 3 p.m. sity of Connecticut was the first #7 four players in college basketball: WOMEN’S TENNIS seed to make it the championship, Aaron Gordon, Jabari Parker, Ju- and Kentucky was only the third #8 lius Randle, and Andrew Wiggins. April 23 @ Dickinson* 3:30 p.m. seed to make the finals. Going by The “year of the freshman” was April 26 vs. Bryn Mawr* 1 p.m. the numbers, this year’s champion- heavily advertised and constantly MEN’S AND WOMEN’S TRACK AND FIELD ship game seemed unusual. How- on SportsCenter. However, only ever, once you looked at the names Randle from Kentucky made it to April 26 @ Shippensburg Paul Kessler All Day of the two schools playing in the the Final Four. On the road to the fi- MEN’S TENNIS game, what “seed” they were didn’t nals, Randle helped lead Kentucky matter. UConn and Kentucky are past three of the four teams who April 22 @ Gettysburg* 4 p.m. two powerhouse schools for col- were in the 2013 Final Four: Louis- lege basketball and are expected ville, Michigan, and Wichita State. *= Centennial Conference Competition to do well every year. The appear- Wichita State entered the NCAA ances by the two schools wasn’t as tournament undefeated — only the