issue 1145

University Teachers Approve Strikes

The Association of University Teachers voted for other actions less severe than (AUT) has voted to take industrial By Ed Sexton striking. The AUT claims that its mem action, following a ballot of its mem bers have not received the pay bers held last month. This will most increases that they are due, with the likely manifest itself as a one day strike General Secretary, David Friesman, later this month, which could affect commenting "vice-chancellors can pay lectures and exams for many students. themselves nearly 7% extra this year, The strike is the result of a failure to but offer their staff only half that reach agreement in the current pay amount, the more we do the less we dispute, which has gone on for several get." months. The debate on whether to go In late March the AUT authorised a ahead with the strike was due to be ballot of its members after rejecting held last Thursday, after Felix went to the 3% pay increase offered by the press. According to the AUT document University and Colleges Employers Asso "Action for a fair deal" the most likely ciation (UCEA). Determined to pursue date for a 24 hour strike is Tuesday 25 a 10% pay increase, a ballot was May, but the text warns that "the Exec announced for April, with a possible utive Committee is instructed to con strike taking place at the end of May. sider calling further strike or strikes in In early April UCEA put forward their the early part of the next academic final offer of 3.5%, which was immedi year". If the Council decides that a strike ately rejected by the AUT, and a ballot is unwarranted, action could include a of AUT members followed. reduction in University teacher activi ties, such as an examination sanction, The results of the ballot were a boycott of admission procedures for announced at the AUT Council meeting w^mm students entering higher education in Scarborough, Yorkshire, last Wednes Strikers from 1996 - similar scenes could hit Britain's universities later this month next Autumn, or a refusal to take part day 12 May. 58% of those voting said Photo: Archive in administration duties. they were prepared to strike, while 68%

Transport Discount Matures Inside.. m

London Transport has extended its stu bying" were responsible. He also dent discount scheme to include By Ed Sexton praised Matt Hyde, ULU President, for Letters - Your voice 4 mature students. The new arrange his leadership during the debate; "Matt ments, which will take effect at the and it appears that the resulting bad coordinated pretty much everything". Editorial - Comment 5 start of the next academic year, were publicity was an important factor in Not all student unions' wishes announced after a prolonged period of this month's decision. have been granted however. The new Columns- Westminster Eye 6 negotiations between fondon Trans Another complaint concerned the card will only be available to full time port and colleges, headed by the Uni lengthy process students had to go students, meaning that those taking ArtS - Sikh Kingdom at V&A 8 versity of London Union (ULU). David through to obtain the discount cards, masters courses on a part-time basis Hellard, ICU President, welcomed the with some students waiting several will not be eligible, and neither will stu Film - Forces of Nature 10 decision, describing it as "sensible - it's weeks for their application to be' dents attending fondon colleges for brilliant! It had to be done." processed. Under a scheme to be one year as part of an exchange CameS -Actua Ice Hockey 2 12 From next autumn all full-time stu tested experimentally at Imperial Col program. dents will qualify for a 30% discount on lege, the new discount cards will be furthermore, there will be no com MUSiC-Suede.- 'HeadMusic' 14 travelcards, including weekly travel- handed out directly by the student pensation for those who missed out cards, which were not covered under union, hopefully eliminating much of on the scheme this year. The price of Clubscene - coidic 18 the agreement reached last September the delay. the card is also rising, from £1 to £3. (see 'London Transport Announce Stu Identifying the reasons for the Mr Hellard hoped that these problems Competition - Evian 22 dent Discount', Issue 1120). One of the change in attitude by London Trans could be overcome in future negotia major criticisms levelled at London port, Mr Hellard felt that a combination tions; "hopefully it will be the start of Sport - Rowing & football 23 Transport was that the scheme was of "pressure from student unions in many more discounts". prejudiced against mature students, London, a lot of complaints, and lob CrOSSWOrd -bySheep 24 1 News 17 May 1999 Football's an Economist's Game

On Thursday 6 May at 7pm, Water- try in such a way as for it to warrant stones held a panel discussion at the By Mansoor Choudhury regulation like the water or the tele issue 1145 Management School regarding the com industries. For example, could Liv future of football and its finances, higher the league position the greater erpool be said to have a monopoly on 17 May 1999 including whether or not it needed a the amount of revenue accrued from Liverpool games and thus need regu public regulator. The panel featured sponsors, broadcasters and a growing lation, or were they merely one small Editor: td Sexton Patrick Harverson, a journalist from the fragment of a much larger entertain Assistant Editor & Hlms: David Roberts Financial Times, as well as Dr Rogan ment industry? An illustration of this News Team: Andy Oforl, Gareth Taylor, Director of the Football was that if Liverpool put their prices up Morgan, Mansoor Choudhury Research Unit at Liverpool University. significantly, would the fans accept Music Editors: Dennis Patrickson Dr Stefan Szymanski and Tim Kuypers the increased costs or would they start & Jason Ramanathan were the other panel members and it going to Everton games? Mr Kuypers Arts & Books Editor: Helena Cocheme was their book, 'Winners and Losers: said that points to be considered on Games Editor: Gary Smith the Business Strategy of Football' the question of a regulator included Sports Editor: Gus Paul which was being promoted that day. what effect it may have on the quality Clubscene: Giles Morrison, Tony Banks MP, the Minister for Sport, of the game, since English clubs now Gurminder Marwaha & Joel Lewis was also due to be present but had to more than ever competed in a world Photographic Editors: Jonas Lindsay & cancel his appearance. wide market, and whether any regu Rachel Lrwln Dr Szymanski, a member of the lator would be worth the cost and the faculty at the Management School, burden. Monopolies and Mergers Commission and Mr Kuypers, discussed parts of Mr Harverson then brought Dr Tay (MMC), in their report which rejected their book which used extensive sta lor into the discussion. Dr Taylor was BSkyB's bid for Manchester United, tistical and documentary evidence to probably the most eloquent of the implied that there was a need for a illustrate how football works as a busi In need of regulation? speakers present. Dr Taylor holds a football regulator to protect the inter ness, and the techniques of business Photo: Archive PhD in primitive religion, which he ests of smaller clubs. Interestingly, strategy which explain why some clubs remarked was useful for his work in Labour MP Gerry Sutcliffe has begun are winners and others are not. Dr fan base. Despite this, football clubs football. Dr Taylor, like the others, did preliminary moves in the House of Szymanski then noted that two basic show low profits since the costs of the n't seem to have any concrete views Commons to bring about a public foot relations governed football. The first game in real terms are growing fast. on the form of any football regulator, ball regulator. was that the greater the wage expen Mr Kuypers then took over. He but appeared to favour a quasi-gov diture by a club, the higher its league examined the question as to whether ernmental body like the one operating position . The second was that the football could be classed as an indus in the Netherlands. He said that the Candon Wins Comedy Semi-Finals

For budding stand-up comedians, the the regulation pair of novelty acts - in best starting point is undoubtedly By David Roberts this case, a poet (with the kind of open-mic contests. Thus, throughout clever, amusing material that gets the year a massive number of people played his full set here last month. of a surprisingly high standard, with applause rather than laughs) and a girl enter the biggest and best such com Indeed, his dominating approach, the vast majority receiving enough who played the recorder with her nose petition, the Daily Telegraph Open Mic which immedi laughs to acquit (novel, as it's very rare to see variety Awards, and the best are invited to ately puts themselves well. acts on the circuit - however, as her act perform a short set as support to reg would-be heck Their styles var was pretty dire, it's easy to see why). ular evenings on the comedy network. lers in their ied dramatically, Knocking out these unlikely con Those who acquit themselves well are place, was the however, so tenders narrowed the field down to then selected to qualify for regional ideal opening whilst one or half-a-dozen good acts, all fairly similar semi-finals, where they compete for for such an two opted for in their style and delivery - indeed, the chance to go to the televised finals event - after all, traditional between them they shared many com at the Edinburgh fringe - with the the acts are all stand-up style mon subject areas, with supermarkets chance to win £2000, spots at both the (by definition) delivery (in a and shopping popular themes. How Melbourne and Montreal comedy fes amateurs, per Frank Skinner-y ever, light-hearted Irishman Jonny Can tivals, and a place on the National Com forming under a kind of way), don nudged himself ahead of the field edy Network. Consequently, twelve great deal of and one of the thanks to his deceptively confident brave contestants gathered in dB's on stage-fright and female con approach and fresh jokes - putting Friday 12 May for the London play-off, stress already, tenders based name labels on spiders and serial killers looking for a friendly reception and a so the last thing her act on sub- to make them less frightening for chance to become the 'next big thing'. they want to be Jo Brand sex Jonny Candon sports his own name label example - and picked up the semi-final faced with is a gags, most The night was compered by Chris Photo: Dave trophy and a place in the final. If this hostile IC audi opted for a Addison, who kicked the event off with performance is anything to go by, ence. more contemporary, rambling style. more of the light-hearted rambling style expect to see him appearing on a stage Nonetheless, we were also treated to that went down so well when he The contestants themselves were near you soon.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB Internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URLwww.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix E-mail: [email protected] Printed at MCP Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square. 16 -16a Baldwins Gardens, London LC1N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board. Copyright © Felix 1999. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers. 17 May 1999 News 3

Tickets will not be issued. The level of service should be similar to that pro In brief... vided on weekday evenings, with staff only being on duty at the issue desk. Jubilee Line Opens Clayponds' Village Hall' The Jubilee Line extension, which links the Millenium Dome site and Canary The proposals for Clayponds' 'village Wharf to the rest of the Underground hall' are to be discussed later this month network, finally opens this week. How at a meeting of the Rector's Committee ever, only North Greenwich, West Ham, on Student Residences. The meeting, Canning Town and Stratford stations which will take place on 24 May, will (where the extension Joins the Central hopefully produce a plan on how and and District lines) will be operational. when the hall will be built. Currently, it One striking feature of the new sta is unclear where the money for the pro tions is the introduction of 'Platform ject is coming from, with an increase in Edge Doors' between the platform and rents rumoured to be one suggestion. Last Wednesday saw the Royal Albert Hall host this year's Postgraduate Awards Day, the track, to improve safety. The remain Another possibility is that one of Impe where students received their masters, doctorates, and diplomas from the Rector. ing stations are planned to open over rial's trusts may help fund the project. Photos Jonas the next few months, with the whole line due to be operational by this Autumn. SCR Renaissance

Library Opens on Sunday The Senior Common Room (SCR) is to be renovated, probably in a similar fashion The central library will be open on Sun to the new Junior Common Room. Mr days from now on, between 1 pm and Ian Caldwell, Director of Estates, 7pm. The new opening hours took effect explained that designs had been drawn last week, and will continue until 20 up "to provide better facilities for staff". June (including that Sunday). The deci The proposals for the SCR include more sion to open the library on Sundays cash-points, two new shops, and a larger comes after numerous requests from newsagent. At this stage the plans are students, with the funding for extra staff very provisional, with no dates currently being supplied by the College. ID cards under discussion, and the entire pro must be carried, as the library will not be ject is still waiting for funding confirmation. open to members of the public and Day

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Prestigious College Gates mates along for the occasion. Othetwise week's article may have been a little over films is getting more and more violent, and the next time the tower is injecting some the top. high-resolution computer graphics Dear Sir, cultural feeling into Imperial with its char I believe that the prices advised by enhance the effects. acteristic chorus, I'll have to disguise myself Catherine John are correct. However I Let's get back to the point, the Inter A large proportion of us enters college as a bell-ringer and sneak up that way... believe that the landlady thought 'if I can net. The Internet is getting out of control each day from Queen's Gate. When atten get 80 quid, why not 90?!' and initially because it gets very complex/complicated tion isn't diverted to negotiating the exces Andrew Vivian advised 90 quid as being the new rent. too quickly. Due to lack of laws in restrict sively marked pigeon territory surrounding Biology II However, a meeting between a resident ing contents allowed in Internet, people the side entrance gate, one cannot help and the accommodation office did take abuse the technology and start putting up but notice the signs attached to the main place, although I don't know who the stu pornography and violent materials. The gates. The college is keen it appears to P.S. I would welcome feedback on dent I know saw. problem is that computer laws are differ point out that those perfectly suitable these letters, especially regarding 'getting I believe that our landlady had a sec ent in different countries. People can use main gates ate in fact temporary. But just up'Queen's Tower. Cheers. ond meeting with someone from IC and this "hole" to put up indecent webpages how 'temporary' are they? They were pre THAT DAY the rent for next year was in the servers of another country, if they are not allowed to do so in their country. sent when I started Uni almost (gulp) 2 advised as being 80 quid. The major concern is that some children years ago and will probably still be there Summer-balls! Personally I do not feel aggrieved at arc reading materials from the Internet when I graduate in June 2000. So tell us what the Private Housing Office has done. they should not be reading, like violent then, what's so amazingly special about Dear Felix They exist to provide impartial advice. Had and pornographic sites. As you have men the original gates that justifies removal they advised a cheaper rent and the land tioned, programmes like Internet Explorer for so long, - gold construction? Perhaps 'The Party of the Year" - and who better to lady then found that she was renting 5 aren't effective enough to filter some the Felix archives hold photos of what share the night with than your loved one? cheaply then she would have the right to sites. must be another component of the col Well maybe not, if my experiences are any feel aggrieved. Certainly one of the rea lege beautification program, and if so may thing to go by. sons that I live there is because I thinkthat We were grown up in a computer cul they reveal them in all their glory... All I wanted was 2 tickets for this won we get a very good deal and if I were the ture, so it takes shorter time for us to work derful event - one for me, and one for my landlord then I would charge 80 quid at out how to use the computer and the Yours bewilderingly, girlfriend. All ready to part with the princely least. Internet. Parents don't spend as much sum of £110. But no. It seems that the time on the Internet as school kids. Andrew Vivian posters are lying (and I don't use that Name & Address supplied Those violent video games and films Biology II word loosely) or else the small print is could ttigger the interests of young peo undetectable with an electron-microscope. ple to look for violent webpages because Although the object of my most lust Regulating the Internet they seem "normal" to them. Trip to the Top? ful desires Is indeed a student, albeit 300 Internet has to be regulated. It miles away, she has to pay £65. Surely Dear Editor, requires international co-operation in set Queen's Tower - an icon of Imperial's orig some mistake - as far as I'm aware she's ting up standardised laws in regulating cer inal gallant architectural composition that not staff/alumni. Perhaps she's entitled to I would like to comment on your arti tain types of information allowed in the once proudly stood before the twisted an office in Sherfield or an honourary cle To Regulate or Not? [Felix 1143]. I also Internet. It is also feasible to have a mon architects of the 60s pulled it all down. Vis degree. Bargain, and all for an extra ten disagree with the argument that "it must itoring organisation to monitor the infor ible from as far out as Richmond Hill the ner. be the kids who are screwed up". I agree mation contained in the Internet. The base monument serves to provide some sort of So basically it seems like we're dis that "human are naturally inquisitive, espe point is to protect children from reaching history in otherwise grey, unfriendly sur criminated against if we choose to go out cially when young, and have a tendency those "unsuitable" sites. This can be done roundings. More or less however, IC stu with an Arts student. towards violence and moral wrong". Flow- by setting up laws that require parents to dents ignore Queen's Tower, - those A refund of would be nice, otherwise ever, let's get the perspective right. We install software like Net Nanny. On the annoying kids that visits the museums of I might have to start buying tickets under have to realise the fact that the mass other hand, imposing too much control on Exhibition road pay it more attention (why a false identity. media and computer games have great certain things in the Net could lead to do they come and eat on Queen's impacts on the society. Advancement in more negative effects. It will even encour age more people to look for "holes" in the Lawn???) It is my wish, and I believe right Yours sincerely, computer technology enables us to pro law to carry on their "good work". Also, It (as a member of this institution), to see the Al Warman (Civ. Eng II) duce more realistic computer graphics, surely admirably view of London from which is useful for training doctors to prac will cause inconvenience to people who such a height. Proposals such as entering tice surgery and in many other applica needs certain information for good pur a biology team into that engineer's delight Housing the Truth tions. However, a coin has two sides. pose instead of abusing them. 'The great egg race1 (which was met with Whenever there is a new technology, peo much amusement before we withdrew on ple tend to abuse it. Lack of regulations Dear Felix, Yours, account that launching would only occur could lead to serious problems. Computer from the lower balcony) do not work, and games like Doom and Quake2 "allow" us As a resident of the house in question in Lawrence Tse neither would the get-kicked-out-of-col- to "kill" people in the cruellest means for the above article ['Accomodation's lege option of trying one's luck at free- no reason. After some time, our brains are Adverse Advice' Felix 1143 & 'Housing climbing the masonry (not too sensible). "brainwashed" sub-consciously and we Office Stands Firm' Felix 1144] I thought I'd Deadline for letters for So if there's anyone out there with a key "think" that there is nothing wrong to hurt give you 'my version' of the story. I agree then email me (asv97) and I'll bring some another person. Moreover, the nature of with the accommodation office that last is 12noon Wednesday.

Please Include the words Cheap Newspapers! Computer Programming Bicycle Hospital 'Letter for Publication' in The Union Newsagent sells most daily Tuition national newspapers at prices substan the header of letters. tially below the normal retail price. Having trouble with your computing Second-hand Bikes for sale on campus. course? And now the Newsagent also sells Friendly tuition by IC computing gradu Bike repairs on campus. Letters may be edited for length, but ate will not be altered in any other way. The Evening Standard Letters need not be signed, but a Email James at Email James at swipe card must be shown when sub ICU Newsagent - on the walkway mitting anonymous letters. Jrrl ©doc.ic.ac.uk [email protected] 17 May 1999 Editorial 5

them up please do so. This term would News Round-up be helpful.

After weeks of darkness, light has come, LOOKING FOR SOME and things are finally happening! The Handbook entries. NOW! announcement of AUT strike action is unfortunate (although those with exams Clubs should have got their entries for PART TIME WEEKEND WORK? on 24 May might disagree), but I can the 99/00 ICU handbook in to the Clubs understand their argument -1 would be and Societies Administrator by now. I pissed off if my boss continually raised know that many of you have failed. It his or her salary through the roof, while might interest you to know that from giving me only slightly more than the now on I am reserving the right to edit, WANT TO WORK AT TWICKENHAM RUCBY rate of inflation. Wouldn't you? The Lon cut or delete entries and photos handed don transport deal, however, is undeni in late (which is from last week onwards). GROOND AND OTHER PRESTIGIOUS ably good news, and long overdue. As The later the entries are, the more they for Clayponds, we're not letting it lie, so are likely to be edited down (i.e. we just watch it Sherfield... give preference to people who can both EVENTS IH AND AROUHD LONDON? ered to do it on time) - so get writing! If you belong to a club and you think your Bound Editions Again chair hasn't sorted it out yet, pester him or her until they do something. If you fail Yes, once again it's that time of year to get an entry in the handbook, it's IF THE ANSWER IS YES! THEH CONTACT when you can purchase a beautiful your loss - the less of my summer I have bound edition of all the year's issues of to spend editing the better, as far as I'm ARAH OR LI Felix. More details will appear here in the concerned. S A next couple of weeks. The basic deal is that for around £30 you get a hard AT bound copy of all the year's issues, with Mondays or Tuesdays? your name and the year stencilled in gold lettering. Please note that the edi The appearance of Felix on a Tuesday two tions won't be available until late sum PROFILE EVENTS AND SECURITY weeks ago seems to have fooled some mer / early Autumn, so we'll need your of you. For the record, Felix comes out on contact details for next year. Oh, and a Tuesday when the Monday is a bank would all the people who ordered bound holiday - so next week's is on Monday, 0181423 2508 editions last year and have still not picked but the one after is Tuesday 1 June. - Ed

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Sign of the Times Call me naive, but I am at a loss to Sports Grounds for Halls of cash, while preserving the College's see how this fits In with a 'remit...to look commitment to sport. Actually, that last after the Imperial students and find them statement is rubbish. To preserve the am not easily shocked. Aside from affordable accommodation.' When I was or those of you eschewing dodgy College, as opposed to Union, commit snakes and Vanessa Feltz, few things an undergraduate, I most definitely could bedsits, preferring the majestic ment, we could have a fire sale and I unnerve me. But a letter of agree not afford £80 per week, so I imagine that Fsplendou r of Halls, there is much ditch everything bar the Boathouse. No ment from Ian Caldwell? Terrifying - the those second- change afoot. problem so far, unless our medics get poor bloke's in shock. As I have stated In and third- Most of the their senior academics to be particularly this column over the last four years, here years must be Simon Baker news about awkward. isa man of fine judgement, and his note delighted to big refurbish The real problem is our track record. in last week's Felix confirms it, but enough see their ment projects IC is spectacularly unsuccessful at real about me (boom boom!). purchasing has been ising maximum value from our assets. This whole sign thing has got com power doing the Take Montpelier Hall in Knightsbridge. It pletely out of hand, as Ian says. The ques described so rounds for is worth a fortune, yet it was almost sold tion is whether we really have to have all favourably. I some time. for a mere couple of million. If we were these things stuck on the wall. Sadly, cannot under The Southside serious about making a killing, we pressures of work prevent me from stand how spruce-up, I'm should be looking at joint ventures with spending the morning wading through Catherine sorry 'concep property developers. Not a new idea, it Health & Safety Executive regulations, John could tual design of has been considered by others at Col but I have my doubts. Yes, most of this make such an Halls of Resi lege, but everyone seems to have come rubbish originates from our beloved unguarded dence and to the same conclusions. Such is the friends in the European Commission, but comment, student facili probability that we would make a dog's their already crazy directives tend to get realising that ties in Princes breakfast of any such undertaking, no gold-plated by our civil servants, making the only Gardens', has one dare try it. There's confidence for a bad job worse. Not a lot we can do possible been on the you. about that, but I have a nasty suspicion consequence drawing Still, let's not be too negative. Any that we interpret the rules too broadly, would be a board for 'bonus cash' which lessens the chances resulting in the current farrago. greater finan almost three of the whole project being linked to Personally, I am guided by Darwinism cial burden years in its wildly optimistic conferencing proposals in these situations. If someone is too stu for our stu current form, is to be welcomed. Incidentally, what's pid to recognise a fire alarm without the dents a.k.a. and is obvi all this about 'non-academic areas must aid of this signage, let the flames con her clients. Voice of Reason ously badly break-even'? Has anyone told John fos sume them, leaving us with a slightly less She needed. ter, our redoubtable Head of Catering? polluted gene pool. Harsh but fair, I think states that she was responding to a Sadly, the huge delays in getting it sorted fast time I looked, that department, you'll agree. If we don't, where will it all request for a 'professional opinion.' This out have allowed some morons at Eng aside from Southside Bar, was running end? Why, we could end up with signs talk of professionalism is misguided. As lish Heritage to list it, despite it being one up debts more rapidly than the Duchess indicating the temporary nature of gates... she says, her remit is the needs of stu of the ugliest buildings in West London, of York. Surely it's not one rule for some dents, and that is her area of profes thus precluding the preferred option of and one rule for others? Of course not. sional expertise. Offering suggestions to demolition. private sector landlords about revenue With that limitation, our friends in Professional Advice? maximisation must surely constitute a Estates are going to have their work cut professional conflict of interests. I would out trying to make a silk purse out of an Simon Baker? Reviewing Films?! not seek to tell her how to do her job, but enormous sow's ear. Anyway, it's good wasn't being strictly honest. Another this looks like a pretty obvious demarca to see a bit of progress. In the past, thing that scares me a bit is female fig tion line. The Private Housing Office things like this always seemed to fall nally, regular readers of this hum I ures of authority at Imperial who are should not offer rent advice to landlords victim to the 'eyes bigger than your belly' ble column will know that I am not fond of the word 'professional.' With that beyond giving general information, the syndrome, as we accountants term it. It F:alway s bang up to date with my in mind, I shall tread carefully over the Pri provision of which would not be preju is all fine and dandy coming up with a film-going. The last man in Britain to vate Housing Office incident. Apparently, dicial to the Office's aim of serving our great vision, but if it is beyond your watch Pulp fiction and The Sound of all this talk of £90 per students. And since, means tenfold, it Music, I have only week is cobblers, the "If someone is too as I gleaned from a seems a fairly point "that department just seen There's true figure being a recent perusal of the less exercise. That Something About suggestion of £75-80 stupid to recognise a Residences trading seems less likely in [Catering], aside from Mary and Lock, Stock dependent on room accounts, the Private this case now that and Two Smoking size. So that's all fire alarm without the Housing Office is Estates have unveiled Southside Bar, was Barrels. Not exactly of cleared up then? I funded out of the their secret weapon, the same genre, but don't think so. aid of signage, let the income from student the surplus sports- running up debts both stunningly Given that the rents, there seems lit ground. good: the former has above facts were pro flames consume tle scope for quibbling This cunning more rapidly than the some moments of vided by Mrs John, with this view. device is designed to exceptional slapstick there can be no fur them... we could end It is unfortunate bring a bucketful of Duchess of York. comedy, the latter is ther dispute from her that time has been cash, granting us our just brilliant, taking standpoint.Therefore Up With SlgnS illdicat wasted agreeing on every wish. This being Surely it's not one and developing the an employee of the facts, but it seems Imperial, it's not quite very best elements of imperial college, ing the temporary fair to conclude that that simple. Picking rule for some and British crime-related charged with assist the Private Housing which one(s) to close film-making (The Ital ing students in their nature of dates... Office has behaved is a purely political one rule for others?" ian Job and The Long quest for accommo badly in this case, the and economic deci Good Friday, to name dation, suggested that a landlady intend statement of which gives me no pleasure sion. No group of students will cause the but two). There must be someone out ing to rent to our students could get since I and many, many others have been grief necessary to sway Sherfield, so there as slack as me in this respect, so away with a rise that far exceeded infla saying for years that we needed such a they will probably sell everything bar go out and rent them tonight. And why tion. service. Harlington; that should generate plenty not? 17 May 1999 Columns 7 Presidential Talk-Back

or the second time I'm reporting Sundays from 1pm has also been tised anywhere yet, they specialise in back about progress made by the to 7pm. Although David Hellard, ICU President rumoured to be giv academic books, specifically relating to FUnion. By far the most important ing a large amount our courses. Their opening hours have the service is under issue, which I expect Felix has already run ff; to Ihe project. If you now been extended from 9-6 to 9-7 on standably limited, it with, is the London Transport Discount are on the trust's all weekdays. is an essential step Scheme. After much scepticism, London board, please think of forward and a sign I have already spoken to some peo Transport has proven that common what you have given that the College 1 ple who want to know if they have sense prevails. During the year the

m Westminster Eye - Hamish Common

ust passing through Imperial at the most important country (sorry, but it is) hun powerful reminder as to what the UN was the United States, their constitution effec moment, so here's my first and final dreds of miles to the east. Perhaps it is no and was not capable of. It took an uncom tively prohibits war without Congress's Jcolumn of the year for all of you who wonder that the UK and France, left out at promising message from NATO to force approval, with its members looking to the missed me from the last two years. The cri the western end, have made attempts to them to the negotiating table. Slobodan media and their constituents first, and mil sis in Kosovo has been been running on set up a stronger European military capac Milosovic. who many credit the whole itary thinking second. The success of the or near the front pages for the past SO days ity. Yet most of us struggle to name many responsibility for the break-up of Yugoslavia, Gulf War is still considered to have been or so, since NATO started bombing in Ser eastern countries, let alone describe their was a required negotiator and NATO knew attributed to the air supremacy secured by bia. Of course the crisis in Kosovo has geography and politics. they had to have his support to get a deal. the Allies, when it was the ground war been simmering away for the past few The present Kosovo crisis is simply the Kosovo was left off the cards. (made considerably easier by being fought hundred years, and has roots in old reli latest manifestation of the centuries old Milosovic's wish to re-integrate Kosovo on a large flat desert) that won it. Clinton gious divides and imperialist ambitions in problem. The Balkans sit on a tempera into a 'Greater Serbia' has its routes in the is further ensnared by the political fallout eastern Europe. Residents of the British mental and violent part of Europe, only a mythical tales of Prince Lazar, who hero from any American deaths, and conse Isles, islands on the north-west extremity of few short miles away from centres of ically died on the fields of Kosovo protect quently orders US planes to fly high, so as Europe, have previously had little cause to Islamic and Judaic power. A little nearer lies ing the Serbian peoples (unfortunately he not to get shot down - which means they worry about the politics and murder of Rome, whose influence over Europe in lost and Serbia was dominated by the Turks can't see their targets properly. So they the Balkans, as it has rarely affected us. previous centuries was not much less than for a few centuries, but it is a testament to occasionally miss and shoot up tractors or This view is a long way from the truth. in the days of the Roman Empire. Add to the skill of Serbian politicians that they embassies. Rivalries between the services You may remember from history lessons that the Orthodox faith, and its Russian, Ser have made a defeat into such a national and a distrust of 'foreign' intelligence - that it was a Bosnian Serb, the student bian and Greek denominations, and you ist celebration). Milosovic removed the even when obtained from allied countries Gavrilo Princip, who shot the Archduke have the recipe for prolonged and bloody autonomy granted to Kosovo by Tito, who like ours - create communication break Ferdinand of Austria, the immediate after confrontation. The Russians, plus many was skillful in balancing nationalist pres downs which lead to disasters. Apparently math of which was the First World War. If other countries in the neighbourhood, feel sures while keeping Yugoslavia united. Ser when the USAF F-117 came down over Ser one were to draw out the logic, and a Slavic unity with the Serbs, and national bians argue that Kosovo was previously bia, the loudest laughs came from the US assume the rise of the the Nazi Party in Ger ist politicians have not been slow on the theirs, and that the 'recent' influx of Mus Navy and Army, who thought the USAF many resulted from the unsuccessful post uptake. Islamic countries have kept quiet, lims of Albanian descent is no fault of were far too arrogant anyway. A ground war Weimar Republic, and that the Nazis not knowing whether to criticise NATO for theirs. It is with these arguments that invasion is easily possible: It would take sev precipitated the Second World War, then going on the rampage, or to support it for Milosovic has been able to force his way eral divisions - perhaps 100,000 men and this unknown student sits at the root of the doing it on Muslims' behalf. Italy has only into Kosovo and 're-align' the ethnic bal losses up to 20% - NATO sources suggest. most momentous - and evil - events in the Adriatic separating it from the conflict, ance. There is something ironic in the This is the only way Serbia could be recent world history. and Italians are wary of the war, not least Serbs' comparison of the NATO bombing crushed. An independent or autonomous The centre of gravity of Europe has and with the American protagonists' popularity to the Nazis when a clearer comparison Kosovo against Serbian wishes would will continue to move steadily east as the in the doldrums after a US Marine fighter, could be found in their ethnic cleansing require similar military manpower and various countries behind the fallen Iron Cur pilot killed 20 people in the ski-lift tragedy. and extermination. There is little doubt losses, statistics the military provided before tain make their bids to join the EU and The original Yugoslav break-up saw our that this latest surge in ethnic cleansing had the bombing began. Otherwise it's a humil NATO. Poland, Hungary and the Czech modern, dynamic European nations fall been planned for months, and Serbia's iating climbdown, agreement with a Russ Republic have now joined the command into ancient trenches, with Germany plug negotiating tactics in Rambouillet stood ian-sponsored peace plan, possibly structure and the all-important Article 5 ging for recognition of Croatia, and the UK as a testament to it. The bombing provided involving the UN, which was originally states that an attack on these countries is and France supporting Serbia for a while. them with the opportunity to blame NATO snubbed. an attack on all the others. Germany's The original peace-keeping mission, run by for it. What a pity they didn't think about that move of its capital from Bonn to Berlin the United Nations, failed disastrously in its The NATO countries have had their in the first place. pushes the centre of attention in Europe's attempt to stop more killing, sending a share of troubles in the bombing too. In 8 Arts 17 May 1999 THE ARTS OF THE SIKH KINGDOM Victoria and Albert Museum

hree hundred years after the inau The Sikhs The paintings had very different inspirations. Many Euro guration of the Khalsa - fellowship regained absolute largely consist of peans visited Lahore and, stimulated by Tof the pure - this exhibition cele rule through the portraits of the most the exotic court which they encountered, brates both the history of Sikhism and coordination of a important characters produced artwork that contrasts distinctly the rich culture of the land in which young man named of Sikh history, and with that of the native artists. Guru Nanak founded the religion, the Ranjit Singh. In many are intricate in After Maharaja Ranjit Singh there Punjab. 1801 he became detail. Individual was a period of brief successions ending The Khalsa represents a turning- the maharaja of flowers in the back with the appointment of Dalip Singh, a point in the development of Sikhism. the Punjab in the ground of a paint boy aged only seven. The feelings of Succeeding the first spiritual teacher was capital, Lahore. ing of Maharaja unrest grew out of control and the a lineage of ten Gurus who advocated Through the efforts Ranjit Singh have British intervened, annexing the Punjab equality and peace between men. Guru of the maharaja, still been bestowed in 1849. In the exhibition this era is dom Gobind Singh concluded this chain, pass religious differ with earnest atten inated by portraits with a strong Euro ing authority on to the holy book of ences began to be tion. We are also pean influence. Sikhism, the Guru Granth, which was accepted and art offered a small Slowly peace returned to the Punjab stored in a temple called Harmandir at flourished. The insight into the pre and with it came the rekindling of tradi Amritsar. results of his vailing lifestyle tional crafts, some of which are still prac Over a century later, the Sikhs had restoration of the through a series of tised today. We are left with examples of metamorphosed into skilful fighters des Harmandir are 19th century paint these modern pieces which continue perately striving to retain their identity shown in pho ings. The discrimi to exude the mysteries of this fascinat under the vicious onslaught of religious tographs and paint nations of creed are ing society. persecution. Invasions were common ings. The appre lost in the artwork. place as the Punjab was a centre of ciation of fineries Hindus, Muslims Demelza prosperity. Some of the stolen jewels is also shown in and Sikhs were all from this period are On display In the the magnificent commissioned by Until 25th July exhibition, as are military costumes, shawls and silks the court of the armour and weapons which illustrate produced by the people of Lahore which Maharaja Ranjit Singh and this resulted in Admission: FREE to students the wealth of the province in their detail have retained their beauty and vibrancy to the elaboration of styles passed through Opening hours: daily 10am - 5.45pm and decadence. this day. generations of artists whose fathers had (Mondays from 12) MAYDAY The Photographers' Gallery

he is talking loudly in a darkened All the photos are accompanied by touch room. Some people stop to listen for ing captions, written, often in broken Eng Sa few seconds before consulting lish, by the kids themselves. Even if the their watches impatiently. Only one man cynical media is destroying our lives today, seems deeply interested, and he no doubt maybe these amazing children will have makes a mental note to tell his wife when the strength to make the World better he visits her in jail. Elsewhere, an elderly tomorrow. Tragically, maybe they won't. man is slumped in front of a TV, watching This is less a photography exhibition a film about the end of the World. And in and more an 'infotainment' experience the corner, three students are surfing the where you can sit on a comfy chair, read Net while their friends examine a photo a book, surf the Internet, or even have graph of a public execution. a cup of mediocre espresso in the oh so All this in MayDay, the current exhi trying hard to be trendy cafe attached to bition at the Photographers' Gallery in the Gallery. Great Newport Street. This is an excit But what of the girl talking loudly in ing exhibition because its central theme a darkened room? In reality, she is stand is transmitted so effectively through ing on a soap box at Speaker's Corner. multimedia. And appropriately enough, She has been captured on film, and we the theme is media communication - are watching her on TV. And what is she how we use it and how they use it speaking in public about? How to speak against us. well in public, of course. Isn't it all so The Photographers' Gallery would same and the media have always loved The obvious but well expressed mes ironic? probably say that all this captures the Zeit reporting them. Massive monochrome sage is: apocalypse now, and tomorrow, geist (to you and me, the spirit of the mugshots of Gulag survivors break up and forever and ever. But don't think a pall William Bums age). I guess it does, given our current the flow. And postcards depicting exe of gloom hangs over the entire exhibition. and past fixation with media intrusion cutions and coffins sit uncomfortably The walls are painted in bright yellows, Until 29th May into the lives of the rich and famous. with pictures of Gap bags - we are con reds and oranges. One side of the room But how does the media use us, the trolled by Government and by Corpora is given over to an arts project which has Admission: FREE ordinary people? films of students rioting tions and they both use the mass media encouraged kids from Brixton, Nairobi, Nearest tube: Leicester Square in Paris in 1968 are juxtaposed with films against us. five-year plans versus buy, Cape Town and Dhaka to take photos of Opening hours: Monday - Saturday, of modern riots. All riots look much the buy, buy. their (often extraordinary) everyday lives. 11am - 6pm nts presents

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Take <+ caw*, r+fsr not a ra #CU| Your Union - Hun /or You 10 1*^* Film 17 May 1999 Reviews Forces of Nature * * *

Starring : Sandra Bullock, Ben Affleck, Steve Zahn, Maura Tierney Director: Bronwen Hughes

arrived at the cinema in a less than the roles simply don't reflect what they hopeful mood. Posters and trailers do best, and thus a pair of charismatic I for Forces of Nature had led me to actors are left treading water around believe that this was to be a no surpris each other on screen. es, no laughs, no-thinking-required That aside, however, the produc romance, in traditionally generic Sandra tion follows the current trend toward Bullock style. Consequently, I was pleas three-minute MTV style segments, with antly surprised by the movie that flick some nice soundtrack picks overlaid with ered up onto the screen in front of me. Sandy-and-Ben running in the rain in OK, so it's still far from perfect (the cast slow-mo, weaving through traffic, play ing's odd, the romance is stilted and the ing on the roof of their train and so-on. plot twists are predictable) but it's enter It's the kind of directing that's currently taining enough to keep you and your taking a lot of flack from critics, but it plus one amused, nonetheless (like actually makes for a fun (albeit bitty) most romantic comedies, this is the ter movie - after all, this is hardly supposed ritory of early dates and sad romantics). to be high-art. Indeed, there's definite signs of If all that sounds too negative, then potential here, and Forces of Nature don't discard Forces of Natureyel - it's could actually be a really good movie if a decent movie nonetheless. Whilst not it wasn't for the strange casting deci particularly engaging as a romantic cou sions clearly made by lazy execs looking ple, Affleck and Bullock's adventures are for easy bankabillty. The script calls for distracting and diverse enough to pro our two protagonists to be of the oppo- Ah yes - It's the Industry standard runnlng-through-the-raln sequence. vide a break from the usual action/ sites-attract variety: she's a wild-child - romance divide. Ignore the casting, twice married, teenage mother, exotic ding), career minded, plays up the odds is mid-twenlics rebel, whilst hunk-of-the- enjoy the soundtrack, accept the pre dancer, lives for kicks, can con her way in every situation blah blah blah. And moment Affleck is called upon to act dictable cheesiness of the whole thing, out of any situation etc etc etc; he's who's cast in these disparate roles? San like a plank - surely some mistake? Well and relax...and don't say I didn't warn straight-laced and down-to earth - dra Bullock and Ben Affleck. Huh? Thir- yes, it clearly is, because, apart from their you. Q engaged (and on the way to his wed- tysomething girl next door type Bullock real-life age gap (just shy of ten years), Dave

The Idiots ****

Starring : Bordil Jorgenson, Jens Albinus, Anne Louise Hassing Director: Lars Von Trier

ollowing on from Thomas be accused of deliberately seeking pub Vinterberg's The Celebration licity, as we follow a group of (very F(released last month), The Idiots is strange) middle class Danes who (for no the latest movie to eminate from the readily apparent reason) entertain them back-to-basics renaissance currently selves by pretending to be mentally hand dominating Danish cinema. The current icapped. Obviously, it's all a metaphor for vogue (much talked about in arty film relaxing your inhibitions and expressing circles across Europe) is the result of the your real emotions, but whilst it starts Dogma 95 Collective - a group of four out as merely amusing, it rapidly becomes prominent Danish directors who have by turns haunting, frenzied and heartfelt. signed what they describe as a 'Vow of Despite the total incomprehensibil Chastity' to govern how they produce ity of much of the story (you'll constantly their work. The agreement bars them be trying to work out what was going on from using soundtrack music, lighting, in the previous scene), watching The excessive action or bulky cameras - and Idiots is a profoundly affecting experi consequently, all Dogma movies must ence. Dogma 95 certainly isn't the future be entirely shot on location, with hand of Hollywood (whatever the critics say, held cameras. Quite clearly, grainy and budgets and technology will continue to low budget is the order of the day. Its grainy; Its weird; It's got lots of nudity - It must be Danish spiral until cinema is finally overtaken by Surprisingly (considering the decla the next mass medium), but in certain ration is really just one big gimmick) the licity for the trouble surrounding its ability to tell such a compelling story with specific cases - and for certain specific films produced by the directors con release (the BBFC were initially unwilling such backward technology-just imagine directors - it's a brilliant way to tell a cerned have been almost universally to grant a certificate to a movie contain Steven Speilberg trying to make his next story in a poignant, incredibly personal, praised - and The Idiots is no exception. ing an uncensored group orgy), Von Trier movie with $20 000 and a Handicam. manner, fl Although it may have attracted more pub really deserves massive recognition for his Like the style, the story itself could easily Dave 11 17 May 1999 Film Reviews & Competition Mighty joe Younjg

Mighty Joe Young Blade Edel/ Hollywood Records Over-stylised, hyper-violent and brainless?

xploring the remote Pangani Undoubtedly - but goddamit, it's fun. Wes Mountains in Central Africa, ley Snipes is the eponymous half-human, E zoologist Gregg O'Hara comes half-vampire hero, who strides the earth upon an incredible discovery - a clad in body armour and trenchcoat, hunt rather large gorilla - all fifteen foot of ing down and killing the un-dead, via the him! Though dangerous when pro traditional silver, stake-through-the-heart voked, the gorilla is tame in the and swordplay. Bram Stoker it certainly hands of Jill, the twenty-one year old isn't, but the skin-deep plotting is easily orphan who raised him and called balanced by some amazing visuals. Wit him...er...Joe. ness a non-stop ride of amazingly fast and Thus sets the scene for this movie, brilliantly choreographed action, that's and the soundtrack is superb. It is com simultaneously sexy, scary and comical (in posed by oscar winning composer an absurdist kind of way). Admittedly, it James Horner and is the follow up to looses a certain something when trans the Titanic soundtrack, the biggest ins- ferred to the small screen (spontaneous tumental album in history. Fortunately, A big gorilla & Charllze Theron. What a combo. rounds of applause aren't quite as impres this soundtrack spares us the novel sive in your living room) but it's still a per vocal talents of Celine Dion. As you'd The Trip name but a few) and is the perfect fect Saturday-night-in movie (friends, beer, expect from a poignant film, the Shifty Disco musical post-club chill out. Its magic copious quantities of pizza and snacks - soundtrack reflects the clashing moods lies in the fact that you can almost you get the picture). with a wide variety of tunes spanning his albumn is Channel 4's cyber feel yourself being trasported the emotional spectrum. From the off-spring from the eight part through space. If you liked the series sombre and dark, to the happier side Tseries of the same name. This on TV, then you'll love this soundtrack Rounders of life in the mountains with a fifteen wonderful soundtrack features twen - an excellent accompaniment to an foot gorilla. It's available now from ty-one underground tracks from Luke excellent series. D Combine high-tension poker, stars Matt Edel/Hollywood records. Slater, Plastikman and Mogwai (to Gurminder Damon and Ed Norton and noir-meister John Dahl in the director's chair, and you should have a damn fine movie, right? Sadly, no - you're left with Rounders, a Win tickets to Best Laid Plans with the deeply disappointing movie, where the outcome is never really in doubt. The real problem, however, is that despite the fact that the lead is a utterly despicable character, we're forced to like him, sim ply because he's Matt Damon. Conse quently, the movie is left with a deep seated identity crisis, that's hardly enlivened bythethrill-a-minute spectator sport that is...er...cards. KENSINGTON Renin Best Laid Plans is an unashamedly indie Masses of you identified Practical Magic thriller that's more twisty than a slinky as the movie that links Nicole Kidman A quite extraordinary ensemble cast - crossed with....something else that's very with Sandra Bullock. The winners were: Robert De Niro, Jean Reno, Johnathan twlsty-turny. It stars hot young things Pryce, Sean Bean and Natasha McElhone Reese Witherspoon (Pleasantville) and Catrln Jones, Sufyan Samsuddln, - combine to produce a thriller that harks Alessandro Nivola (/ Want You), struggling Theodore Hong, Caroline Soubry, back to the seventies styllngs of The to escape from their local drug boss. Suf Chaiwut Gamonpllas, Patty Llao, Trench Connection and The Manchurian fice to say, Nlvola's cunning plan of Serene Teo, Roshan Gunasekara, Candidate. Sadly, however, director escape goes spectacularly pear shaped... Tim Howard, Claire Bland Frankenheimer clearly believes that the To win a pair of tickets, wrap your cast is so good that they don't actually brain around the following question: The winners of the An Ideal Husband need fleshed out characters, and conse soundtrack competition, who all spotted quently the script just lolls from one high- What movie links Nivola with the stars that Cate Blanchett won a BAFTA for her octane set-piece to the next. On the other of Pulp Fiction and Rumble Fish ? role in Elizabeth, were: hand, when they do arrive, the action sequences (and the car chases in partic Just email your answer to film.felix Adam Bettinson, Wayne Cheung, ular) are so brilliantly shot that they very ©ic.ac.uk before Wednesday evening, Leonora Lang, Sandor dejasay, nearly make up for the low quality of the and the first five names out of the virtual Pete Daplyn, Markjelinek, Bob Stevens, script...but not quite. hat will win a pair of tickets. Sheyi Claxton, N Tangsangiumvlsal Dave 12 Games 17 May 1999 Actua ice Hockey 2 (PSX, PC) Gremlin *

One Line Summary: rink. Standard is fun but Arcade is best Heavily clad boys with sticks smack rub for two player fast fun action, here the ber discs - on ice. game only pauses for breath after goals "HOCKE' or major gougeing. 31 Teams to choose Whats it all about: from and with 70 odd games (including Heavily clad boys with sticks smack rub playoffs) before silverware can be won. ber discs - on ice. Honestly that's it. It There is an awful low of gameplay to be might also have the odd punch-up on found skidding on the ice. There is even the ice, the occasional slamming of the the chance to boost the team mid sea opponent into the plexiglass so hard son with a series of roster swaps. The PSX that it shatters but ice hockey is one for version has the advantage of proper PlayStation, the big guys and girls. controllers.

Good Graphics: Sex and Violence: The PSX version goes for a close in, Violence and lots of it. Though unlike the Son of Jason decides that a new mask is needed for Friday the 13th the blood and guts on sticks rabidly fast and local ice rink the injuries don't involve next generation smooth option. Though it is possible to sliced fingers and fractured tibias - must move to a camera slightly further out of be all that padding. the way the resolution on the PSX means that the puck starts to look a little less disc Best Bit: like - It doesn't slow down though. The fighting sequences - if the action has The PC version with its 3D card acceler been a bit niggly for a while the players ation can afford to take the camera fur can be made to drop sticks and go for ther back without losing resolution and fisticuffs on ice. Win the fight and get with a decent combination of processor sent off for a five min penalty - lose it and and graphics card the graphics flow like the player gets the penalty to recover quicksilver - whatever that really looks from unconsciousness. Cant wait to see like. Petit and Cantona kick each other off the pitch in Actua Soccer 4. Seraphim Sounds: Both versions are liberally sprinkled with Worst Bit: the sounds of sticks clashing, body on The delay between events on the PSX Suddenly both sides turned on the Newcastle U supporter on the Rink body crunches, organ music intervals version, skipping them just blanks the and skates swishing when players screen for a few seconds as it loads. change direction. The PSX commentary starts to annoy after five minutes but at Polished Product: least it doesn't torture with CD stutter - Both PC and PSX versions shine like a There is no commentary team ....having couple of shiny silver discs. The Actua ....problems ....saying ....more ....than team have done their usual high quality ...one ...word ...at ...a ...time. Musicwise job - nothing else would be accepted or Mogwai provide the background tunes expected from these guys - underground notes for a underground sport. Who will like It: Sports fiends generally, PSX owners wait Great Gameplay: ing for a good two player game, UG's Do smart weapons miss their target? with too much time on there hands over Two modes of play, Standard - with five the holidays. Fighting game fanatics (just a side and all the rules, or Arcade - three for the fisticuff action). The Goalkeeper decides that having children is a useful thing and misses a side on a close and claustraphobic Gary 5. the save. Competition Corner

Actua Ice Hockey 2 Age of Empires I and Expansion Pack Fun for all

The answer is puck and luckily no one actually got it wrong. What can you do while waiting for Age of Empires II this autumn? Get a good tan The winner of a PC copy of Actua Ice Hockey 2 is...(drum roll) - too dangerous. Get a job and earn some money - be serious? Get a Girlfriend or ...Catherine Luther (Civil Eng) Boyfriend and while away the weeks experencing Rex the Runt style adventures - too difficult and possibly illegal (the Rex the Runt bits anyway). Stay in and play com puter games till you suffer from extreme light sensitivity - now thats more like It. Ability Office We at felix towers are offering a copy of Age of Empires and expansion pack to The answers were word processor, spreadsheet, database and drawing package, the first person out of the virtual hat who can answer the following question. t/ootftn see so'many people were paying attention in class. The winner of ttae - boxed Ability office set is...(another drum roll please) What clothing Innovation is usually attributed to the Celtic civilization? ...Sid Datta(Mech Eng 3) I have emailed the winners to tell them how to collect their prizes. Email ([email protected]) or hand in the answes in person to the office by Wednesday. 17 May 1999 Games 13 Wages of Sin - Sin Mission Pack 1 (PC)

Activision

vided the targets were sit skimpy garments (not ting immediately above hugely PC this game), me, but the first mission is and having her well and based in a helicopter, and truly behind bars, her all that happened was that armies of mutants still I ended up shooting my appear to be causing rotors out, with predictably mayhem - killing con hilarious results. I was not struction workers, drop a happy bunny. In March, ping litter and generally Activision issued an 18 Meg being anti-social and patch, and hey-presto, nor emphatically anti-social. Your mission, ter of kill everything you see and collect mal service was resumed. should you choose to accept it, is to go everything you can. For those of you who and give them lessons in good citizen Don't get me wrong - this isn't a bad haven't played the original ship, if necessary using your trusty futur game, and if you have the original Sin It's rather tricky reviewing mission packs. game, It was rather an enjoyable romp istic gun to reinforce the more (plus patch), and enjoyed that, then They're unlikely to contain any major through a large metropolis "in the near complicated paragraphs. there's a good argument for adding this changes to the basic principles of the future" where some bright spark has The first few levels are rather good to it. But it really is purely down to "more original game, and will be of limited devised a highly addictive drug which - they are set in pitch dark tunnels, the of the same", and I guess that more or interest to those who haven't played it. turns its users in giant murderous mutant only light source being the torch that you less sums up any good mission pack. In fact, now I come to think of it, I have things which appear from the sewers, picked up which is fast running out of Danny a suspicion that our Beloved Games Edi cause respectable quantities of mayhem batteries. Once they fail, tor has given it to me because I avoided and then vanish leaving the civil author there's a very good my forfeit two weeks ago. Swings and ities to wonder how it has all gone so chance you'll be set upon roundabouts. Anyway, here goes... horribly wrong. It wasn't a hugely inno by said mutants, with I first got my hands on Sin around vative game, but it had some nice resultant loss of large January, not long after it had been touches (in one section, rather than quantities of bodily flu released, but I wasn't actually able to shoot people as per normal, you got to ids. There are a few puz play it until March. Why? The control sys drive over them using a beach buggy - zles, but none are tem was the most bugged I have ever good for relaxing after a hard tube jour particularly complex, and come across - no matter how I installed ney incidentally). mostly test your ability to it, no matter what tweaks to the key Wages of Sin (it's a pun, see) is set run around pressing the mapping I set up, every time I tried to immediately after the end of Sin. Despite right buttons in the right play the game, my point of view would destroying the world domination plans of order within the right head remorselessly to the top of the the evil Alexis Sinclair and her unfeasibly time limit. Other than screen, and stay there. This was fine pro tight thigh-length boots and rather that, its really just a mat PreviewVille Revisited Age of Empires 2 - The Age of Kings (PC)

Microsoft

SlSlSiS Less controversial than Kingpin by far is the story on that little bit further. It's time too frisky and wonder Microsoft's Age of Empires 2. By now to explore the age of kings, the dark ing away - your sheep most people would have taken Age of age and the time of renaissance and have nice coloured Empires and the Rise of Rome expansion exploration. Or as microsoft put it the bows round their necks set (see competition corner to win a Dark Age, the Feudal Age, the Castle Just so you know. M0 ... : copy) and battled and planned through Age and finally the Imperial Age. The military parts ' to 500 AD or there abouts. Well this With new very high resolution graph of the game have also Autumn Age of Empires 2 is about to take ics, cleaned up audio and a range of been builted up too. fresh races the battle will There is now the option

: . .' once again be on for ter of leading troops to ritory, food and resources. their death in forma The gameplay is still based tions - synchronised around the building of vil slaying on the scale not lages and towns to sup seen since the two sec port a thriving and. ondary schools nearby surviving community. decided to face off in Balancing demands the backstreets. There is even the option players who abhor collateral damage a of military and civilians will of garisoning your base much like the simple way out. Kill the king and Queen be as difficult (or easy) as scaredy kids who hung back at the school rather than teach the other race the before, on the levels we gates. meaning of mass slaughter. Fun and got to play one one the There have even been tweaked and morals for all the republicans in the hardest problems was tuned multiplayer game options. A cap familiy. keeping the local sheep ture the flag type game has been intro Once again Microsoft look to be rid community from getting duced - a regicide option gives those ding on another winner. 14 Music 17 May 1999

Albums SUEDE RADIATOR Head Music

And musically? It's the same old song but with a different beat.... They haven't just ripped off others but themselves as well. She off Coming Up is now called Can't Get Enough and the penultimate track He's Gone is a reinterpretation of Asphalt World, the penultimate track off Dog Man Star. They've even filched from Suzi Quatro; Elephant Man is, I kid you not, the bastard progeny of Devil

Gate Drive. So the album stinks like a emember Generator being the bachelor pad after a night on curry and Essential Choon a while back? lager? Well no, because the old Suede R No, well I'm pleased to say that were just magnificent. Electricity rocks this is more of the same rock-dance like a, errrm, really rocky thing and the fusion stylee. That's a good thing, by ballad Down is simply irresistible. the way. Radiator are three sharply Production duties this time around dressed guys in ultra-dark glasses, have gone to the Happy Mondays' erst exuding attitude by the bucketful and while cohort Steve Osborne and Brett seemingly with a crap sleeve designer Suede feel at home in leather. et al have gone and got all funky on yer because the album cover has the same ass, boy! She's In Fashion, Savoir Faire design as the single, only in a different and Asbestos being particularly slinky ou've been in the public eye for Suede on Head Music the same as colour. affairs. However, the final track Crack in going on ten years, you're four ever; third-person narratives galore, The lead singer has that raw singing the Union Jack provides Brett with an Y albums to the good, there's urban soliloquies, veiled drug refer voice of the likes of Gary Stringer and opportunity to do a sensitive solo ditty been personnel changes, new relation ences, etc Brett Anderson has Eddie Vedder and the sort that Liam and he fails miserably; the song being ships have been forged, old relation described the lyrics as been colder, Gallagher can only hope for. There's either a woefully inept social observa ships have been strained and some more clean cut, more precise and con energy in the beat and those massive tion or possibly a clandestine drug ref destroyed, you've had tabloid covered cise In context than on previous songs. guitar licks that has you tapping your erence,- old habits die hard it seems.0 dalliances with the odd artificial stimu Now there's an excuse for being bone- foot before you know what's happen lant or two. You must have a lot of new idle if ever I heard one. Altogether now Chris ing. The guitars are distorted, but not too experiences to speak about? Errr, not The cat sat on the mat. Oh wonderful much in that annoying tinny sort of way. quite your Honor. Lyrically we find Chris, so concise, so clear in meaning. There's a vast amount of synth work in the album that in this case contributes greatly to the whole rough-edged sound. And that's what makes the music FUZZBIRD JOI so appealing - the rough around the One And One Is OneJ Pulling The Wings Off Small Boys *V2 edges, lo-fi production. If Radiator had chosen to smooth the CD out and over they're just that little bit less original, he debut album from the, as produced it, then most definitely it the little bit that means practically no one they claim, original Asian break would have lost what makes the band's knows who they are. That aside, there T beat fusionists. However, there overall sound. Don't get mc wrong, it's are a couple of tasty numbers on here appears to be a lot more than just not a crap job, quite the opposite in fact, starting at the very beginning with a breakbeats on this album with some but if you're expecting a glistening and very Shed Seven inspired track called drum and bass and a generally confus silky sound forget it. My World (they are both from Yorkshire), ing mixture of themes and styles, with the CD is so good that there isn't a and ending with Hard Like A Girl and the Indian themes and instruments duff track on it. From the alternative Wings. The rest of the material is Grunge- totally overwhelming. The album dis rock catchiness of Generator to the lite as is the flavour in these modern plays a cultural theme that doesn't almost ambient Untitled Love Song and times we live in. doesn't really go in hand with these the acoustic intimacy of Feel to the pure I get the feeling that some of these 'hard' beats. energy of Whole Inside, the entire songs haven't been properly thought One of the better tracks that you album will keep you entertained right up Practice makes perfect. out and developed. Some of them may want to listen to is Massive and is to the end. Their style is their own, too. sound like the guitar riff is an after about the only track that represents any So many bands today fall into the trap o start, what a wonderful title! thought and Fuzzbird want people to true likeliness to breakbeat. It starts off of familiarity that leads to a dull, lifeless Except if you actually did try and love their quirky, significant lyrics. It's quite well with strong drums and a sound that all too often is obviously a T pull the wings off small boys, not gonna win any prizes for breaking heavy beat. There's minimal vocals in result of not listening to a range of cos that'd just be sick. And boys, small ground or musicianship and I think if the form of Joi massive repeated over music. Radiator haven't done that. They or otherwise, tend not to have wings. they concentrate on playing the music and over, and the semi-opratic highs know what styles of music it is that they Anyway, has anyone heard of Fuzzbird? more than the (sometimes cringingly breaking the roughness is nice. The like the sound of and the direction in I hadn't before this but I did find out cliched) lyrics, then they might be onto album is quite diverse in content, with which their music is progressing, which that they've released an EP called Mot a winner. Nice cover on the CD, though. the cultural influence and dabs of break is becoming increasingly rare In a mar and they've had material played on The m beat and even a touch of jungle on ESY- ket lead by manufactured 'popstars' and Jon Peel Show. Christian SHJ. The production is very good and the artists in the music industry simply for On the fllpside of the coin every album does get stronger as you listen to the money. El one's heard of Gomez, haven't they? the later tracks, but that's only if you can Christian Fuzzbird are in that same mould but bear the first half. CI Asad 17 May 1999 Music 15

Albums REEF LUNA The Days of Our Nights

ing the listener at any point. And some pointless strings don't help. his is Luna's sixth album. They But don't worry - there are a couple must have a fan base some of gems in amongst the rest. Reef get T where, otherwise they wouldn't funky with Wandering, a homesick song have bothered making six albums. If with an addictive main riff weaving its you arc in this inconspicuous minority, way thorough the tune. Hiding reminded this album will not disappoint. It con me of classic Simon and Garfunklc, com tains enough songs of substance to plete with some hand clapping. It noo entertain current fans, but I'm sceptical dles along nicely, building all the time it will bring in new ones - it certainly into a great primal display of vocal talent didn't hook me. from Gary. Undone and Sober, a darker There is a distinct lack of originality. song than most of the album - a lot of Ihis unthrcalcning indie-folk seems to anger is expressed in this song - and a come from an endless pit at Beggar's determination to make things better in Banquet, who churn out this stuff every the future. Who You Arenas a decidedly week. There must be a dozen other punky edge - this is a take no prisoners bands that sound virtually identical, song. Something to get psyched up to. pouring out their hearts with bittersweet Hey guys, the camera's over here. It also includes a great line about fabour angst. that I will leave you to discover. Right at The lyrics are good (if a bit surreal),

ides gets off to a suitably rock weaker songs. Metro is one - the song the end of the album Electric Sunday gets but singer Dean Wareham's voice ing start with the rip roaring never really grabbed me - even with mixed in - simply an acoustic guitar, (remember him from Galaxie BOO? R New Bird. Deeply distorted bass repeated listening it didn't click the way some doo from Gary and an organ. Thought not) is not powerful enough to holds sway while Gary (vocals) does the most of Reef's best work does. Sweety It is enough of a change from pre give them the depth they deserve. I lis business with his extremely gravely and is another track that doesn't quite hit the vious efforts? Probably not. Do they still breathy muttering lacks substance and, distinctive voice. It all calms down a bit spot for me. Electronic influences start to rock? Yep. Does Gary have one of the while giving a mellow character to some after that without the first single from show which just seem to have been put most incredible voices in the UK scene? of the songs, it gets a bit much over all the album I've Cot Something to Say- in for their own sake - and the track suf U-huh. Should you buy it? Well, be ready twelve tracks. It seems to have no vari doubtless you have heard this already fers for it. And there are too many for a brace of weak tracks - but the good ation at all. Just the same relentless tone but suffice to say it's a charmingly crisp naaaaas! (Listen and you will under just about outweighs the bad. EH again and again. and sweet song that lifts you up nicely. stand). Love Feeder has no real climax, Joel Luna commits many musical crimes. As for the rest, there arc some it just meanders along, not really engag Dodgy samples crop up all over the place. They are probably intended to sound quirky, but end up plain comical, the rhythm in Four Thousand Days DAWN OF THE REPLICANTS THE FALL sounds like someone has just hit the Wrong Town, Wrong Planet, 3 Hours Late The Marshall Suite 'salsa' button on an eighties synthe siser. They've been around for far too quality matches up to the quantity. f ever there was an incentive not to long to let them get away with things The picks of the bunch? Any track drink or do drugs it's Mark E. Smith. like that. with the line 'She's a dancer on the I Have you seen him? Most definite It's not all bad. SupcrfreakyMemo Marie Celeste, but that's OK I feel like ly on a par with Shane McGowan and ries, released as a single last month, is Eliot Ness' has got to be good. So Rule Shaun Ryder in the fried stakes. The a poignant ballad. You can't help being the Roost gets in by default - it's also got Fall can still put out some belters, carried away by the soulful cello and a rousing, evil chorus that just demands though. To call The Marshall Suite punk shuffly rhythm. It's one song where the attention. A charming little ditty towards pub rock is slightly misleading but it's vocals arc just perfect, and the song the end of the album is Howlin' in the the most apt description so call it that I stands out head and shoulders above dark-a yummy crisp little piece of home shall, if a lot more polished round the the rest of the album. produced jamming that works just fine. edges. The production is very tight and But their worst Crime must be to do My final choice is Jack Fanny's Gym clean, centring mainly on the distinc an appalling cover of Sweet Child O' which stats off like Deep Purple classic tively slurred voice of the afore men Mine, reducing a classic rock song to rock, quickly spirals down into a dark tioned front man but still balanced for empty and pointless dirge. For this they deep hole and then leaps out into a all the other instruments. We've got a cannot be forgiven, and I'm deducting psychadelic funky world right at the end. real Led Zeppelin style rhythm section Should have checked the a whole star for this alone. on (Jung Nev's) Antidotes a la Kashmir timetable lads. This is what the 'Replicants are all You need a lot of patience to begin along with a searing guitar, canny lyrics about, changes. Each track seems to be to appreciate Luna. Throughout the on F-'oldln'- Money and a laid-back feel hhh the DotR effect. Who can something entirely different by its end - whole album I wanted them to give me to Birthday Song. say how this merry 'collective' so you never know what's round the that little bit more, that extra something A of Scots will change guitar corner. I hope larger acclaim is just I was a little surprised at the depth to lift the album off its plateau of medi music in the UK - which seems to have around the corner for these boys. E3 of The Marshall Suitebecause I'd never ocrity and to tempt me into wanting been taking a bit of a battering of late Joel heard The Fall before and I didn't quite more. Disappointingly, they failed. CI with the efforts of a certain Mr. Slim and know what to expect. Maybe that's why Tom the rest of the beatmasters. If nothing I was surprised in a good way, and if else DotR certainly have an incredible you've never heard them before try output of music- recording 6 EPs and an having a listen to this. But remember album in ten months. Luckily for us the kids, just say 'No'. CI Christian 16 "T*"*-^ Music 17 May 1999 Albums FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE Utopia Parkway 1

arate, depressed hippies, regret. A Fine Day lor A Parade talks a few slow ones for dancing to. But if you Dodge Caravans, hockey teams, about an older woman's drinking prob scrape away the veneer of nice, you get K the Long Island Expressway, sta lems - a hauntingly beautiful track that down to the real stuff. This is an indict ple guns, high school proms, really moves you to analyse the lyrics. ment of the life of an 'average' American Winnebagos, sexy travel agents, hous Prom Theme talks about how Amer young person (this could be extended to ing projects, bourbon, Laser Floyd, the ican kids get ready for the prom night - the average European's life too as we are Jersey Shore, Buicks, asteroids, state something which seems to be a pivotal so influenced by US trends). Hopefully troopers, pianos falling out of windows, moment in their lives according to this this will give 'em all a kick up the prover- Lincoln Town Cars, soccer moms, song. It's quite a sad song, and a sad sit bials. Bactine, KorN, Connecticut, love songs. uation. That this night of ultimately empty All in all, it slides very nicely into These are just a couple of influences moments is seen as 'a perfect moment' your eardrums and makes you think! the Fountains of Wayne state. With such is ironically glorified in this song -1 can't What more could you ask for? H a, errrr, 'diverse' set of factors as those help wondering if the average US kid will Joel described above, its not suprising that get it, though. Maybe that's the point. Utopia parkway is such an interesting There are also some relentlessly album. upbeat sounding tracks on the album Fountains of Wayne are another too. It Must Be Summer is a good exam Fountains of Wayne demon band from the US not taking the stan ple. From the rocking riffs you would strate the art of 'holding It In' dard ROCK path. Others to precede them expect it to be quite a positive song - but are acts such as Weezer and Ben Folds delve a little deeper and you discover the Five. Chris Collingwood and Adam lyrics: 'The sun is beating me senseless, Schlesinger are the songwriting team I feel defenceless, like a dying lamb.' You behind the band and while the tunes in can really feel the anger at the excepted this album are what hook you in, the norm in the US. lyrics are what keep you coming back for This is an easy album to listen to. All more. the music is very American college rock. This album deals with American sub Nice safe beats and riffs, a bit of hand urban life in its many forms: all the ambi clapping, the occasional bit of distortion tion, jealousy, boredom, hope and when they really want to 'rock out' and

BEN FOLDS FIVE The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner£

irst of all, BFF are a three and not future with only a few concerns for the chance to grab breath, this gives you too a five. They comprise of a piano, past. The big band sound permeating much time to think about everything F a bass guitar and some drums - this track really works -1 think they should else - apart from the song. That's not along with some people to play them. explore it more. Your Most Valuable Pos what I have come to expect from the five It's not a standard 3-piece set-up and as session is ajazzy, stoned piece of chilled - it's a change that's all, which I am not such provides a refreshing break from out speech. As far as I can tell, the lyrics sure is the right direction for them . Pre the norm. As well as this, BEF do not are a cautionary phone piece from a vious fans might be in for a little surprise refrain from bringing in some string relation of some kind. It's kind of sweet - they have moved from a more punky and brass sections if they feel they in an innocent way. raw sound perfectly demonstrated in need a larger sound - as this album Weaker ones? Your Redneck Past is their first album (the self titled Ben Folds shows. a bit of a mixed bag. It starts sounding Five) to an altogether more ballad based We kick off the album with a bit of very Beach Boys-Pet Sounds-ish but then theme. Narcolepsy A suitably rocking tune to crashes about not really sorting itself The question remains - can Ben begin on. Towards the end some more out. It lapses into French and then stut Folds Five ever regain the freshness and electronic influences start to permeate. ters into a bit of rap, ending up with brilliance of their first offering? I hope so I don't know why bands feel they have some 303 beat action. Regrets is about, - though it's not going to happen with to introduce these kind of elements - it well, regrets: 'All the days wasted watch this album, d just seems to be the fashion right now. TV, drinking beer', i never visited my Pop stars In suits. Whatever They just about get away with it but you Grandma even when she was sick' and will they think of next? can't help feeling it wasn't in the origi T thought I'd do some travelling,' arc typ nal song. ical of the song. It just feels a bit too bal-

Best tunes of the album? Magic lady for my tastes, though. Lullabye floats describes a close friend passing away along with some hand clapping and and how the writer is strangely happy James Earl Jones namechecks. It just that they've 'traded places with an angel doesn't grab me along the way. now.' You can feel the pain in this track Symptomatic of the whole album - particularly in Ben Fold's emotive voice. really - while BFF's musical skills are never Armyls the first single to be used in the in question, most of the tunes just did UK from the album. It really swings. n't swing me, apart from Army. Whereas Relentlessly upbeat and looking to the previous BFF albums didn't give you a 17 May 1999 Music 17 Singles Round-up

ight then, this is part two of the Freddy Fresh featuring Fatboy Slim. has some Korn-ish drums to lift it above stuff, only slower and not as good. Which singles round-up following on He's a musical slag, isn't he? He's got a the mediocre, but the whole thing reeks is what Shower Your Love is. R from last week. Christian'll steer million things on the go at once, spread of unoriginality. you through some stuff that's still out ing himself round. I hope Zoe knows Stop the Press! The Llama Farmers there if you look for it and Ed'll bring what she's letting herself in for. Apart There's a very homegrown feel to Get The Keys And Go. Probably not actu you full circle and up to date. See you from the ridiculous title, Badder Badder the sleeve of this 7" and I liked it. These ally llama farmers, unless the foothills of on the other side. Schwlng Is a cracker of a tune, if not sur People has got the whole garage thing the Andes have changed drastically since prisingly similar to the Fatboy's current going on but with a soft lilting female my geography A-level. Pretty much what offering. The B-sides are a Spanish rap- voice, distorted guitars and decidedly you'd expect of late '90's indie/hard rock stylee tune and a track that's either been primitive production. Think indie and bands that sometimes brings fame but lifted from a 70s cop show or a porno; then par it down to proper lo-fi quality usually brings nowt. it's still cool though. and you've got Spraydog. And that's the real indie music. CI The Soundtrack Of Our Lives? Hmm. Another offering from the second Christian That's surprising. I thought Avenger Hill rate indie boys, Gene. Fill Her Up is upbeat for a change but Martin Rossiter First of the latest releases comes still sounds like he wants to be Morrissey from Penthouse. Crashing in with a non and he doesn't succeed in my book, stop barrage of noise and testosterone, unless you count depressing me. There's Creeper's Reef eventually settles down also only the title track on this, which is into the rhythmic pounding of guitars poor. They must have some other tunes and drums that the latest teenage tear- knocking about that they could have put away in Neighbours will play on the Cof on here. fee Shop jukebox, much to the chagrin of Harold, no doubt. Is One Brief Moment the theme for He's a strange fish, Moby. He used the new Bond movie, The World Is Not to be all heavy metal, then techno, then Super Bowl Sundae is a distinctly Enough? It sounds very Bondish to me,- Hispanic concoction of hip-hop, percus all cavernous orchestral sounds and sive dub and reggae beats, with some swirly mysticism. Natacha Atlas and David chilled-out rapping over the top. Ozoma- Arnold provide a very Eastern flavour, Iti are about as cool as the Fun Lovin' which comes as a nice surprise in the Criminals think they are. Street Blues was by Ocean Colour Scene whole Bond style. The B-side is You Only until the voices proved otherwise. As did Live Twice, the signature melody you Carrot Rope signifies that Pavement a deep and distant influence from The may recognise from a single by a certain are back from, erm, wherever they've Monkees hiding somewhere in there. Robbie Williams. been and are on good form with this Maybe these are The Monkees. track of wah-wah infused balladry. How Ooh, a very Mexican bandito feel ever, excepting that annoying American The first taster from the Super Furry with a stripped down sound and twiddly vocal twang, they're still too much like Animals' third album comes twelve guitars. The Ride (Part 2) is only three The Beatles to be classed as original. months after the release of Ice Hockey minutes long but I got a tad bored with Hair, one of the most ingenious songs of Calexlco after two because it started to Just some random and very quiet last year. Northern Lltes is clearly not up plod. The three B-sides are all mixes of noises really. What Labradford are saying to that high standard but is still highly the same song which is enjoyable in a on E luxo so is unclear. Probably some enjoyable with its Latin-American beats 'sitting round the camp fire under the heavy again, now this. He's got a sam pre-milienial babble about the futility of chugging along throughout. stars in the desert' kind of way. The last ple of The Landfordaires who sound like mix reminded me of Hank Marvin! a barbershop quartet, but it gels Obviously given its surrounding con extremely well with the beat and melody text of animation and adult humour, All the information on Cube's sleeve of Run On The B-sides are a moody-yet- there is much to like about Simultaneous and CD was in mirror writing which was ambient instrumental followed by a - the second slice from the Chef Aid a royal pain in the arse but Scrounger moody-yet-slightly-less-ambient instru album. The title refers to the Chef's sex mental. Uplifting nevertheless. ual preference (i.e. everyone at once) and the lyrics are full of the expected A distinct west coast USA sound double entendres. However, as a song erring on the heavy side of things during on its own, it doesn't'stand up. the verses is the order of the day here. Bright and breezy vocals on Wiser con Cyclefly are indie punk rockers with tribute to an apple-pie chorus akin to both a female and male singer. Although music in that oh-so contrived AOR vein. potentially really good, there is little to Many guitar bands are using big beat separate Supergod from the rest of the drum sounds to give their music an edge genre. and Soundproof are no exception. A thoroughly unexpected release, perfect our own existence, but it really is just The standard strummy indie fare for the coming summer months. some random and very quiet noises. from Silverchair with the vocals equal parts Damon Albarn and Thorn Yorke. Stony Sleep throw up a passable sin After all the Nazi, 1960's, Indian and Ana's Song (Open Fire) is on the verge gle that's a fusion of Placebo meets Bush posh-kid accusations thrown at Crispian of being good but hasn't quite got what meets Moist (remember them Beavis Mills and his merry band, Kula Shaker it takes. CI was lo-fi-tastic. Not original, granted, and Butthead fans?). Using the Seattle should have returned with a classic Ed} though it has a raw edge that appeals tradition of soft, quiet verse and angst- album that headed off in a completely and the chorus is melodic and grating at ridden, punchy chorus Khartoum treads new direction to silence all those critics. the same time. Weird, huh? the well-trodden path. The second track But they just went and gave us the same 18 Clubscene 17 May 1999

ented star in the making. It combines Jazzier/funkier mix but without losing lyrical content. It comes with a host of superb vocals with an energy evocative the original vibe. remixes giving it house/garage, funk and Singles of Cher (only much better than the plas Out In June dub interpretations. Great lyrics on an tic fantastic pop queen). There's a whole excellent tune and plenty of choice. Why Single Of The Week host of mixes giving it house, garage and can't everything be this good? funk/ jazz interpretations. It's been a Steve Morley Out May 17th Powerhouse/Duane Ha/den favourite tune of Oakenfold's since 'Reincarnations' What You Need' Xmas. Lots of choice and an all round top (Neo) tune. (Defected) Double Six Out In June Excellent single on the Neo label 'Breakdown' Superb Amefican house Single from which is currently doing the business in (Multiply) the v. , 'Vou the nation's clubs. The original mix is a boh'i . i > ttih lly i I r hm mi will be the highest quality. Each track is hard Ihloll 999'$fi|ge$t talents: i house of the highest order, but each also Kamaya Painters Out 10th May reflects the style of its producer. The 'Endless Wave' Mike Koglin variation includes deep hard house and (Data) 'On My Way" a more energetic hard house track and (Multiply) Minimal Funk the whole EP lasts over thirty minutes. Ministry of Sound's off-shoot label Turn It To The House' Available on vinyl and CD. comes up with this monster epic trance Brilliant epic euro-house with the (Cleveland City) Out now tune. Produced by Gatecrasher's new superb dreamy vocals of the beautiful resident, DJ Tiesto, it is a track in the French singer Beatrice. A pumping bass Another top release from one of the mould of Ibizan house featuring deep line with a catchy tune and those lucious best record labels around. The Future Big Bud bass lines with a simple but effective vocals have turned this track into a mas Shock Mix is a house-style track just ooz 'State Of Mind' piano tune. There are two mixes on the sive anthem not only here, but in the rest ing with funk and groove with just a hint (Good Looking) 12". The Albion mix is a favourite of of Europe too. The remixes are brilliant of progressive to it, whilst the Chant Mix Oakenfold, Digweed and Nick Warren, with the Vocal Mix taking us through a is a more deep, dub-style track. A A good double A-side single from whilst the Original mix is a favourite of funky acidic journey, the Ruff Driverz Tong, Jules and Graham Gold. I think favourite of Pete Tong and Judge Jules, one of Good Looking's finest artists. The giving the track their fast energy club that says it all. this is a single which will make you bop first side features a breakbeat single beats workover and Tilt producing an Out now epic mix of huge quality. the night away. called 'State Of Mind' with its gentle ** Out now pads, bouncing 808, beautiful break downs and very soulful, almost dreamy J.D. Bralthwalte vocals. The flip side is called 'Transmis Autechre 'Give Me The Night' sion' and is deeper than SOM. Hypnotic EP7 (Caus-N'-ff-ct) beats and a mornful flute give this track (Warp) Kektex a very ominous flavour - you could almost 'Inner City Junkies' A cover of George Benson's 1980 say it's a modern Mike Oldfield track. The eclectic maestros produce the (Tec H) classic, the 1999 version isn't as good as Out May 17th goods in this very weird but very won the original (not that it ever could be). derful EP. EP7 is fucking strange but has Apparently a "genre defining epic for The single comes with a host of remixes, the magic to keep you listening to it the the 'avin it generation," but more like a including one by Deep Dish (but we did Force and Paul whole time. A mixture of Aphex Twin, pile of bollocks to me. Dance music at its n't get that), and is a modern house ver 'Chocolate Bar' John Avery and The Future Sound of most simple, there is nothing to keep sion of George's classic. It's not bad, but (Compost) London it's very eclectic and hypnotic. you interested in this tune, whether you then as is often the case with covers it's Out May 31st are just listening to it or jumping around nothing to shout about. Bavarian breakbeat producers Force on the sort of dancefloor where they Release date TBA. and Paul's latest drum and bass offering. may play this nonsense. Endless repeti The single is a double A-side, with Pauline Taylor tion of indecipherable raps and constant 'Chocolate Bar' being a funk fuelled D & 'Come Down' siren noises are not really a recipe for Lynsey Moore B track, whilst the second single, 'Blue (Cheeky) success these days, even if that may 'Capture Me' Movie', features the spooky sample of a have been the case in the distant, naive (Concept) German film composer. The track starts Excellent new single from the Diva. past of club culture. One to miss out on, off very dark before kicking in with a no- The single is taken from the new album unless of course you suffer from com The debut single from a very tal nonsense bass line. The flip side gives a and the music is eclectic in both style and pulsive/obsessive disorder and like to 17 May 1999 Clubscene 19

repeat things over and over and over Trash Compactor vocals from Raphael and a melodic beat. Slim set, but certainly wouldn't be one of again. 'AntI Disco EP' Sure to be a hit. the highlights. Ihe AA-side is a tad better, Out now (Boscaland) Out next week giving a solid hard house remix. How * ever, once again, this would be a song to Here's a simple recipe to give your pad out a set with, rather than one to Lennie De Ice self one of the worst migraines that you Tom Harding vs Jon the Dentist make the crowd wet themselves over. We Are I.E.' have ever experienced. First, bang your '1988' Out May 31st. (Distinctive) head against a wall in anticipation of (Phoenix Uprising) how bad this track is going to be. Sec Another strong release from one of ond, listen to the aforementioned piece Jon the Dentist (of Baby Doc and the Wayne G presents Twisted featuring Stew the most reliable labels in the business. of music (!) Third, bang your head against Dentist fame) teams up with Bristol- art Who? But it certainly doesn't come to us with the wall a little more when you realise based DJ Tom Harding to bring us this 'Breakdance (Is Back)' out a few ever-so-common problems. just how bad it really is, that you could jumpin' hard house number. The track (It's Fabulous Records) You see, this is one of those annoying do so much better, and how on earth blends Old School Acid sounds with A curious little single, available as two dif does this sort of stuff ever get released releases where the original radio edit some breakbeats and a large hard house ferent vinyl releases. On one you get the (moan, moan, moan). Remedy = lots of really isn't up to standard, and so you are beat. Both sides are worth a listen, but housicr mixes, the first of which is Grip's aspirin and dropping this record into a forced to search through the other mixes it is the A-side that shines through, deliv Heaven Dub - a funky number, which trash compactor (or a waste-disposal for some gems. Now this in itself isn't ering us a great breakdown and an uplift uses an 80s sample that I can't quite put unit, as we English people say). such a bad thing to have to do, but what ing bouncy house tune. Guaranteed to my finger on. Well worth a listen, as is it means is that the record may not do Out now get any dancefloor going. Trade DJ Alan Thompson's Disco Dub. But as well as it deserves to, because of the Out May 24th the killer track on this record is Heaven res throw-away radio edit that is put forward ident Wayne G's imaginatively titled to receive air play. In this case, the radio Pete Heller 5AM@Heaven Mix. It builds up nicely into edit is a tedious groovy dub, which is 'Big Love' David Elkabas &Tom Dlnsdale being one of those house tunes that can pretty unmemorable, whilst the remixes (ffir) Things We Used To Do' somehow be bangin1 and groovy at the take the sluggish base line and give it a (Milk 'n'2 Sugars Recordings) same time. good kick up the arse. This increase in Top single from one of the top The second record, however is my tempo then gives us a couple of blind jocks/producers on the scene. Big Love The debut release from this recent favourite. The three tracks on it are com ing, stomping house tracks, in the form is a top house number with a tune extension of the funky London monthly, pletely different to each other - a refresh of the Johan S Toxic Mix and the Bullet dancefloors are just screaming out for. which has just moved venues from The ing change in a time when artists feel as proof Underground Mix. Very much like We only got one mix of it, but that was Cross to Bar Rumba. To be honest having if they can get away with sticking carbon some of the stuff the Natural Born superb so I guess the rest of the mixes gone to M'n'2S and enjoyed it immensely, copy, throw-away mixes on the B-sides of Grooves people may come out with. Try must be too. I'm slightly disappointed with the stan only half-decent tunes. What you get here it out for size before buying. Out now dard of the Original Mixes on the A-side. is a strong AA-side track, 'Debauchery' - a Out now This is funk-house that simply never gets nice stomping, bouncing up-beat house off the ground, and that is precisely what tune, which D.A.V.E. the Drummer had a you don't find at the club night itself. hand in, followed by two mixes of the title Mondo Paradiso Joy There always seems a point to what gets track on the A-side. Easily the most fun of Whale Nation' 'Just Round' played at the venue, and this is where these is the Original Mix, which relies (Opaque Stereo) (Posltlva) these mixes fail to capture the essence of heavily on 80s samples (including the old the club. This is surprising because one of theme tune from Grange Hill), and some More great dreamy beats and breaks A very cheesy tune ready made for the production team mentioned above is amusing spoken lyrics. Doesn't sound too from the Mondo Paradiso team. Follow the summer. Catchy party beats and a resident at the night. However, all is not great from that description, but believe me ing up the critical success of their debut addictive vocals, the single samples Ste- lost, because where the M'n'2S people it does work. 'Mezza Luna,' this track, in all its guises, vie Wonder's 'Uptight' and the result is have done wonders is in getting New Out now delivers a funky feel to the music, while an irritating and cheesy tune that will be York's legendary DJ Disciple to remix the still remaining distinctly "out there." The a hit on the dancefloors in Spain/Greece track. His Slam Jam Remix is, as you would second mix would fit seamlessly into etc. expect, a monumental disco-funk number, Plpl Le Oul any of the Northern Exposure mixes, Out soon and does precisely what the original fails le Funky Bus/I Dunno' whilst the original is a jazzy D&B excur to do. Just listening to the remix is like (Disques Bleu) sion of some style (even if it does being back at the night, grooving to classy become a bit James Bond). Worth a lis DJ Sakin & Friends house music in lush venues. Give this Freshly cut disco house from the gor ten to. 'Nomansland' one a go, and expect lots more groovy geously green plains of southern France, Out now (Posltlva) releases to flow from this new label. delivered to us, toll free apparently, in * Out now Pipi's own Citroen bus. Now forget about The epic house DJ/producer comes the AA-side, i Dunno.' On listening to this The Strike Boys up with the goods again. Sampling the tepid excuse for a house tune, it appears 'Jet Set' theme tune to a popular show in the Lectrolux that Pipi really doesn't know very much. (Wall of Sound) 70's, the single is a trip through epic 'Gimme A K' Well, not about how to make disco house house. Dreamy vocals and deep beats (Tec F) anyway. But wait, listen to the A-side and The German phunksters return with a make this a monster choon. just stop yourself from dancing. The start cut from their critically acclaimed debut Out next week This track, originally thought up as is pretty standard, but after the first break album, 'Selected Funks.' The original mix * part of the FCUK ad campaign, uses the down the sample of De La Soul's Me, is a laid-back slice of electronic funk with main sample from the Woodstock festival Myself, and I' kicks in, and from there the a dreamy, atmospheric feel to it. Simulta in the year in which it is set to return to track goes ballistic. A great example of neously pleasing on the ear and mind. The Raphael Saadlq & Q-Tip America (after a thirty-year absence). I'm disco house, sure to be caned to death at remixes come courtesy of the French acid 'Get Involved' sure you can guess at what the letters are nights like Carwash. Most funky. heads the Micronauts, and Nu Skool expo (edel) that the announcer asks the crowd to Out May 31st nents Buckfunk 3000. Both of these ver shout - bloody rude, aren't they? But does sions can stand alone in their own right, A very smooth, soulful and sensual sin a rude word make the record any good? making this release one to look out for. gle which is massive on the R&B scene. Well, not really. The A-side mix, is a plod Out May 24th The track is taken from the hugely rated ding big-beat affair which probably could show the PJs on Fox TV, and features silky wangle its way into a very very long Fatboy Roobarb and Gurm 20 Clubscene 17 May 1999

you think it might be beginning to tail off include Tee Black, Polar, Klute, Lewis, Para silky and very sexy. it hits you with another monumental dox and Mainline. A fabulous CD. Out now Albums track. The sort of record, like Ground Out now Zero's 'Fall Out' that just make you want to forget everything and go clubbing Jump Up Drum 'N' Bass right now. The Herbaliser The Funk Hits The Fan' Orchestral sounds abound in a pre- Very Mercenary" (Street Beat Sound Collective) Millennial version of the early Renais (Ninja) sance sound. Nigel Dawson obviously Okay D&B album using the tunes learnt a lot off Sasha and Digweed and Excellent release from The Herbaliser from the UK underground scene. It con he uses it to full effect in this epic, but crew. 'Very Mercenary' is an album of the tains tech step, hard step and funky breaks bouncy mix. With genius tracks such as finset hip-hop and breakbeat music. Each from the UK's finest who have already Skynet UK's 'Open the Floodgates '99' track is so different creating many differ established themselves on the club circuit. this album is one to watch out for. ent This is a journey through the best hip The tracklisting is impressive, but there Out Now hop around.The beats are smooth and the are better albums out there than this one vocals are serene. Excellent album. - and we've reviewed some of them on Out now this page! Gatecrasher Red Out now Compilation (INCredlble) Mlxmag Live Presents... 'Deejay Punk Roc' DJs Psycho Bitch and Teri Bristol The best club in Britain produce a (DMC) 'Chicago' fabulous mix compilation of the tunes (Master Dance Tones) Goldle....Honestly It was this big. that have taken the Sheffield club to the More top breakbeats, this time from top of the club listings charts. The array of the master himself - Deejay Punk Roc. Good mix compilation of hard house songs is mindblowing - there are two CDs Mixmag have been producing some excel tunes. The CD is expertly mixed by each with over fifteen tracks and include lent live compilations recently and this one Chicago's hardest working female DJs - hits from Aurola, Ralf Fridge, Fatboy Slim, is no different. With seventeen tracks on Psycho Bitch and Teri Bristol (nice names!). Cevin Fisher and Humate. The full spec the album including artists such as John This first CD mix captures the girls at their trum of music is covered - house, garage, Debo, Punk Roc, Lo Fidelity All Stars, One hard house finest with a fierce selection euro-house and epic/trance. The great Armed Bandit and Stetsasonic this is one including tuff beats from DJ Sneak, thing about this album is that it makes you hell of an album and is mixed in style from Auburn, Jan Driver and Amen UK. Some feel like you're actually there and what's DPR. Out now excellent tunes on this all round top CD. more, five randomly selected copies of the iVi^iik^eniy mixed ' . - : .Wiih. Out now album will have the Gatecrasher Golden Ticket enclosed. The prize - free tickets to ':;de.Name joiie. Phclok, OiiiinH and Revolution En La Casa the club for a year, a gameboy, CDs, nil . . i|- The Essential Latin House Collection' King Kooba records and loads more goodies. Fucking (Nascante) 'Enter The Throne Room LP superb. (Second Skin) Out now !i;I"f, io fry ":< Ik / Rather poor collection of so called iy Latin House. There's not much Latin to it King Kooba are unique artists who and the house is pretty dire. Crap. fuse live instruments and sounds with the Pete Tong Out now latest studio technology to create some 'Essential Selection' thing truly inspiring. Kooba's second album (flirt has evolved taking their sound back to Whoop! Records - Collection: Two Fuze Recordings Presents their roots and influences spawning some Mixed by Nigel Dawson 'Oh no - it's all going a bit Pete Tong'. 'Beyond Voltage' thing more eclectic. This new album is a (Whoop! Records) The latest offering from the omnipresent (Fuze) magnificent piece of work and a first for Pete Tong. Brilliant double CD album Kooba who have incorporated vocals into A giant in the world of progressive mixed to perfection by Tong and includes Excellent drum and bass album. This the tracks for the very first time. But we're house in the UK, the Whoop! record club hits from Pete Heller, Lucid, Hand's is a collection of Fuze Recordings finest not just talking about any old vocals here, label has gone from strength to strength Burn and many more. Each CD has fifteen moments, beautifully mixed and features we arc talking about the likes of Ester in the last few years. Their early releases tracks and you get a nifty little artists such as Elementz, Noise, The Philips on 'California Suite' and Melissa included the seminal 'The Gate,' by booklet/guide to the ten best club nights Vagrant, Embcc and The Spirit. This is a pre Heathcoate on 'Koobesq', and Kooba's Dominion, and the first Tarrentella pro in the UK. Excellent compilation but then lude to Fuze's first full album excursion vety own MCChickaboo on 'Fraternity'. jects. In this their second discography the we'd expect that from Pete. entitled Twisted Soundscapes', and if it's Everyone knows the old saying 'too many label have employed stable favourite Out now anything like this one then it's going to be cooks spoil the broth' and if you had seen Nigel Dawson (Renaissance resident and a cracker. the list of people who helped make this the man behind Dominion), to mix the Out now album you would think that it would be a best of their recent releases. Not sur HiddenRoomsVol.il similar case with this album. No!! The prisingly the mix is dominated by three (Certificate 18) album is very well structerd and the range huge Dominion cuts, and Tarrentella's lat Underground Garage 2 of breakbeat and drum and bass is amaz est project. The first of these, Dominion's This label has consistently released (DCI) ing. An excellent album. 'Outsider' is a dreamy, swirling melody of benchmark recordings, platforming artists Out in June quite epic proportions. One to really get such as Photek, Source Direct and Klute. The very best underground garage a smile on your face whilst dancing to its Their latest offering is the long-awaited sec tracks make up this double CD compilation progressive beats. And indeed it is this ond compilation album. It has 11 tracks and the second in the series. Artists fea type of sound which typifies this album. bringing together 5 classics from the vaults tured include Victor Romeo, Lenny Large carefree builders are everywhere, and 6 new tracks. The album takes you Fontana, Nu Klass A, Donna Dee and M&S. linked together by some calm but funky through a journey of epic and deep D & These are the cream tracks of the under numbers. The mix lets you relax occa B very much in the mould of Sasha and ground garage scene and the CD also fea Roobarb and Gurm sionally but it never lets go. Just when Digweed. Artists featured on the album tures many unreleased tunes. Smooth, FANCY A MEAL FOR TWO AT LUIGI MALONE'S? OR EVEN A TWO PERSON TENT WORTH £60 Read on to find out how...

Alexandra Palace is one of the premier venues in London which, is one of the reasons why Twentieth Century Fox recently used it for a re-launch party of the Star Wars Trilogy. Set in 196 acres of parkland the Palace enjoys panoramic views of London's skyline as well as an outdoor drinking terrace. The Palm Court, a splendid Victorian conservatory with high domed glass roofs, exotic palm trees, majestic sphinx and water fountains, provides an ideal reception area and place to enjoy your Prize Draws complimentary champagne, accompanied with some light jazz. every week The huge Great Hall with over 6,500 sq. metres of partying space, not to mention its antique organ, famous Rose Window and attractive decoration, also has a 25 metre high ceiling. This will allow you to enjoy a full indoor funfair. The following rides will be free to ball goers throughout the night, a BIG WHEEL, CLASSIC HORSE CAROUSEL and of course the DODGEMS

Your ticket will include, a full 3-Course gourmet dinner with Vegetarian and Halal options Great Hall available, accompanied with half a bottle of wine per person. Also, a Live Abba Tribute Band Bigger than a followed by a raging disco until 2am is sure to pack the huge dancefloor to the end. Football Pitch

Two different coach companies have been booked, who are both liable if anything goes wrong, to get you there from College and then back to either South Kensington or Trafalgar Square, whatever your preference.

The Summer Ball offers everyone the chance to buy as Over 12,000 many tickets as they would like. Tables are for 10 Watts of Music people, which we encourage you to sort out now by Power offering all groups of 10 or more who have tickets by I the 25th May, the chance to win the meal and tent. I This event is the opportunity for us all to see out the end of the academic year as it should be done, in style. The Summer Ball Team looks forward to seeing you all 3t Alexandra Palace for what will be the largest Free Indoor Summer Ball ever to take place in London. Funfair All Night Win a very large quantity of Jelly Bellys, and a classic dispenser! Now open to all!

Terms and Conditions That's right, the beautiful antique2 pictured below, filled with hundreds of grams of Jelly 1 The minimum donation is £1, but there is no max Bellys, can be yours to love and cherish. imum... And the best part is, you'll be helping 2 Felix does not guarantee the prize is an refugees from Kosovo at the same antique. time. 3 Felix does not guarantee it still operates, Donate £1 to the Kosovo Fund and will not accept responsibility for lost (there is a jar on the Union front desk) coinage. and enter your name on the sheet pro 4 Felix does not guarantee you will like Jelly Bellys, but we do. vided for your chance to win! The 5 Felix doesn't guarantee much really, does result of the draw will be announced it? in Felix sometime later this term. 6 Open to IC students and friendly staff who read Felix. TWO FREE TICKETS WIN BACK THE PRICE OF YOUR TICKET, PRIZE DRAW FOR ALL TICKETHOLDERS BY FRIDAY 21 ST MAY 22 Evian Competition 17 May 1999 Great Goodies to be Given Away!

The Ancient Mariner. Now, there's a dude who like Pure Style 99 promotional Evian bottle labels points required for each item his water. Always going on... water, water, every from roughly April to August will feature 'purity and even how to cheat by where, but not a drop to drink. Of course, if he was points'. There are points on all size bottles from the adding cash to fewer around nowadays, he would have a bottle or two of handy 33c! to the 2 litre multipacks, and what do points if you're too tvian on his person at all times, fresh from the points make? That's right Brucie, prizes! The more desperate to wait! French Alps, stored away in his Fvian rusksack or you collect the greater the reward, so drink less pop Being the kind tucked under his Evian hat, courtesy of the Pure Style and more Evian and help save on those nasty den and thoughtfully tal trips as well. The range goes from henna tattoos fashion-conscious I and keyrings right the way up to shower curtains people that thev | and lamps - Pure Style has something for every are, Fvian have | aspect of a cool lifestyle. given Beatwax lllii-sjjjl So where do Evian get their Pure Style some of the Pure jBfflm from then you ask? Well it's all down to mix-Stvle range, and >dflH ing in the right circles - re-hydrating and fer- Felix readers can win ' ' rying round all the top models at London tattoos, a vest top. a fashion week in the Evian taxi fleet and sup- hat and a lamp in our ! porting up coming fashion students, to easy competition. name but two. You can find details on the | whole range just by calling the hotline on 01442 824641 to order your free catalogue, t gives you details of the number of purity How to Enter

To enter our Evian competition, simply answer the following easy question;

Where does Evian water come from?

The most accurate answers will win the prizes, so "some springs in the mountains" probably won't get you very far. As always, answers should be dropped into the Felix office before Wednesday I evening, along with the entrant's name and email if possible. Good luck, and may this bloke's austere coolness be with you. 17 May 1999 Sport 23

YES, IT'S YOUR FAVOURITE AND MINE, INTERDEPARTMENTAL FOOTBALL! From the Sidelines

Chemistry produce inconclusive result About two weeks ago, this part of SW Lon don was basking in the warmth of what looked to be an early start to the summer.

Chemistry half. Carlos shot wide after being Biochem struck again almost at once. But then something terrible happened Biochemistry.. released by Toni and a drive by Simon for Dave won the ball from Peter and that would alter the weather for the rest Biochem was blocked by Dave. The spinted forward but overplayed the ball. of the year. The cricket season began. This fixture has been a long time in the chemistry defence looked increasingly The outstanding player of the second It seems unbelieveable that you can planning and eventually two scratch sides shaky as Jamil lofted balls to Alex and half, Simon, cleared from defence and gaurentee that if the weather is nice, as squared up in Hyde Park at 1:30. The Simon on Biochems left. Chemistry fin the ensuing mix up allowed the ball to soon as someone suggests cricket, the match kicked off with chemistry initially ished the half 3-0 up but with a flattering break and be volleyed past Xavier. clouds begin to gather in anticipation of dominating the play. Most of their attack lead on balance of play, however, given Biochem pressed increasingly for the the crack of leather on willow. And so it ing oppotunities came from Toni who that they played with ten men against equaliser and were rewarded when was to prove when England began their frequently fed Carlos and Andy the ball. eleven from the first goal the lead was Simon burst forward unmarked to drive warm up campaign taking on the mighty The first goal for chemistry came as probably deserved. Defending was from twenty yards. Kent side at Canterbury. Since the start Toni released Carlos, his cross/shot was helped by the fact that Biochem played Two goals were then disalowed as of the World Cup warm up matches, I fumbled into the net by the biochem all corners short and only attacked on the height and width of the goal came have yet to see in the results at least one keeper. In the wake of the goal the one flank. into question. A near post header by the match not affected by teh weather, and, defence held tight against a number of The second half proved a different irrepressable Peter and a drive over the of course, the dreaded Duckworth-Lewis lofted passes and Biochemistry corners story as the rest of Biochems team goalkeepers hands were claimed but no system. Lor those who don't know, this as the play became more even. Having turned up. The situation of ten versus agreement could be reached. is a complex system of calculating revised targets and over rates designed to make turned up with only eight players it was eleven persisted with Peter and Kelechi Eventually an eleven all setup was it fairer to both teams. There does seem one of the loan signings that set up the orchestrating most of Biochems attacks, established but it was too late for Chem to be, however, an alarminging number second chemistry goal with a break the shooting was wayward as most istry to grab a winner. In reality Chem of games in which the side batting sec down the left and cross for Andy to vol chances went over or wide. Most of the istry were let off the hook by the ond scores more runs in fewer overs, ley the ball in for 2-0. The play continued goal kicks taken by Xavier reached the Biochem strikers not taking their early but still loses. That's just not cricket. with Biochem attacks becoming increas opposition defence but came straight chances, but felt they deserved the draw ingly more difficult to defend as more back. Biochem began to capitalise on as they had never played before as a Which brings me to my main point. players were pushed forward. the numeric advantage by using the full team and were a man down throughout Whatever you think of cricket, take some width of the pitch dragging Chemistrys Biochems had two chances to halve the match. time to stop and watch some of the in defenders out of position. Their first the lead; a header from a corner and a Thanks to all those who played on progress World Cup. It won't be back in goal finally came as Peter powered long drive which the keeper fumbled. both sides. England for about 30 years, and it is shap through several tackles to release their The first half finished 3-0 after a corner ing up to become what the orgainsers designated goalhanger who easily fin was headed in at the near post by Car Dave Robinson (unbiased chemistry hope it to be - a carnival of cricket. ished sidefooting past Xavier. los. There were two more chances in the captain)

over £10. just pop down to tower records on kensington high st. and produce your Union card at the counter.

kensington : 0171 938 3511 www.towerrecords.co.uk 24 Sport & Crossword 17 May 1999

INTERDEPARTMENTAL FOOTBALL ROWING Biochem Stalemate Boat Club fall foul of wind

Biochemistry Undergrads.. The second half picked up pretty Biochemistry Postgrads much where the first left off, with both BUSA Championships (1st May 1999) for their final, and came sixth overall. sides going for it. As time passed though, (MENS 2nd VIII) The last event of the day was the eight's The biochemistry "derby" ended in a the undergrads started to mounting con An unusually calm and sunny day final, and unfortunatelythe traditional draw after a very eveniy fought game. sistent pressure on the postgrad greeted us early on Saturday morning, at crosswinds associated with the course Undergrads started the match very defence. They finally took the lead, with Holme Pierrepont, the National Water appeared, and we were drawn in choppy brightly, and had a golden opportunity Antony Whittle again catching the keeper Sports Centre in Nottingham. We were lane 6. This meant that even Cambridge, with virtually the first kick of the game, out with a shot from the edge of the area entered in the Championship Event, up racing in the stillness of lane 1 beat us but the goalie somehow managed to (somewhere around there anyway). against the first eights of some eigh by a canvas, despite the fact that we had scramble back to save a certain goal by Undergrads then had their best spell of teen or so other institutions, despite given them a good seeing to in both the Daniel Myatt. Postgrads settled down the game, putting together good moves only being Imperial's second boat. (Our previous heats. and coming close to increasing their quickly, and the first half was very evenly first boat had gone to an International Nevertheless, after an epic row and brav lead on a couple of occasions. contested. The postgrads took the lead Regatta in Cologne for the weekend) ing the storm we came fifth, with only when Dan Lawton, finding himself with However, on one of the postgrad The format of the day was to have four seconds separating us and second a bit of room in the centre, unleashed a attacks, a shot took a deflection of an two qualifying heats in the afternoon, place. Still, fifth fastest university eight in thunderous long range shot which pow undergrad defender, completely wrong- and then a final in the evening for the the country isn't bad, considering we ered past the keeper. The pattern of the footing the keeper and giving them an six fastest crews. All races were six were Imperial's second boat, and had match never changed though, and both equaliser. Heads dropped briefly on the abreast, 2000m long, taking about six our first row as a crew for a week before teams continued to press for goal. undergrad side, and the last 10 minutes minutes to race. Coming third in the first the final. It was Oxford Brookes who Undergrads equalised when Antony were of intense pressure by postgrads, heat, and then a much swifter second in stormed to victory, winning by over ten Whittle caught the keeper off guard with who went all out for a winner. Under the next round, proved to be more than seconds, but then they're not exactly a snap shot. Almost immediately how grads also had a chance of their own to enough to earn us a place in the final. second in the League Tables, are they? ever, midfielder Richard Page had to snatch it, but neither side managed to Our coxed four (which had never rowed By Kev come off with a pulled hamstring, and on score in the time remaining, and the together as a crew before) also qualified the stroke of half time, captain Jamil result stayed as it was. Bacha was also injured. Jamil Bacha

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

by Sheep Across Down

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