T Y P E F A C E RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY

TYPE AND SOLITUDE: INTROVERSION FOR EVERYONE?

JOHN B LLOYD (INFJ)

John Lloyd is TypeFace’s This article derives from an oral presentation to which expands on these Rhythms of Grace and Interest Area Co- the Annual Conference of the Network for Psy- provides a guide to daily prayer and reflection on ordinator for Religion chological Type and Christian Faith in November them. and Spirituality. A former 2015. The theme of the Conference was Disci- The many writers on Christian discipleship over Professor of pleship Learning and Psychological Type. the centuries do not wholly ignore the variety of Biochemistry in UK and human personality. Sometimes there are obser- US universities, he is a My two worlds vations that certain disciplines will prove more Licensed Local Minister difficult for some people than for others. But the Psychological Type and Christian Discipleship (Reader) in the Church of clear overall message is that the disciplines are are two of my long-standing preoccupations. I England. He first for everyone: they are not options from which we could say passions. Almost 30 years after first encountered Myers- may pick and choose. encountering Psychological Type, I continue to Briggs® in 1986 through find the Myers-Briggs® approach to classifying I want now to explore this issue with reference to Emmaus House, and human personalities a convincing one. I am also just one of the classical Christian disciplines, that trained as a MBTI® user fascinated by the convergence of the Type and of Solitude. Solitude features among Foster’s in 1995 in the USA. Trait personality taxonomies, and even more by (1978) list of Outward Disciplines, and is the first Email: the stand-off between their adherents, charac- of Willard’s (1988) Disciplines of Abstinence. I [email protected]. teristically a defensive stance by the one and a have chosen Solitude because it relates so closely dismissive stance by the other. I have written to the Extraversion/Introversion axis that fea- ® elsewhere on this topic (Lloyd 2012a, 2015). tures in both the Myers-Briggs Psychological Type and the Five–Factor Personality Trait At some point in the 1980s I read Richard Fos- schemes. It is widely accepted that extraverts ter’s (1978) Celebration of Discipline. His central dislike solitude and flee from it, whereas intro- argument is that, while God’s grace cannot be verts love and embrace it. So - is it to be univer- earned by human effort, Christian growth and sally recommended? maturity do not happen without intentionality and commitment. Drawing on sources from many centuries of Christian writing, Foster de- The Discipline of Solitude fines 12 spiritual disciplines, embracing the in- Christian advocates of the spiritual benefits of ward, the outward and the corporate, as leading solitude point to the example of Jesus, who is to spiritual depth. My own commitment to this recorded as habitually taking time to be alone, understanding of discipleship was deepened by seeking out a solitary place to commune with Foster’s subsequent books, his Renovaré move- God, whom he spoke of as Father. Jesus’ practice ment, and by other writers in the same tradi- of solitude is mentioned as preceding each im- tion, notably Dallas Willard. Willard’s (1988) The portant new phase in his ministry, such as the Spirit of the Disciplines provided the intellectual, choice of his twelve disciples and, most climacti- indeed academic, foundation for Foster’s practi- cally, before his arrest, trial and crucifixion. We cal proposals. I have been privileged to hear can confidently suppose it was his time for reflec- both Foster and Willard in person; sadly the tion, reassurance and recommitment to God’s latter died in 2013. purposes. In 2012 I was involved in inaugurating the Com- These same intentions (accompanied by a strong munity of St Chad, a discipleship initiative in the disgust with contemporary society and a renunci- Church of England Diocese of Lichfield. Its ap- ation of possessions) motivated St Antony and his proach is a linear descendant of the Renovaré followers, in the 4th and 5th centuries, in their movement, and is based on five commitments, radical act of withdrawal into the desert. In the the so-called Rhythms of Grace. In 2012 I co- strong monastic tradition that developed over wrote the Community membership handbook, subsequent centuries solitude was regularly sup-

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T Y P E F A C E plemented by other practices aimed at subduing the body, Willard likewise (1998, p.388): some of them harsh and extreme. Solitude is a prominent ele- Down through the ages … those who have made ment in Celtic Christianity too. Cuthbert in theth 7 century found great spiritual progress all seriously engaged Lindisfarne and its abbey too busy a place (!) and withdrew to a with a fairly standard list of disciplines for the Farne Island for almost ten years. Bede tells us this was because spiritual life. There has been abuse and misun- Cuthbert wanted “solitary contemplation and silence”. But this derstanding, no doubt, but the power of soli- degree of isolation was insufficient. He built himself a high- tude, silence, and so forth as disciplines are walled, open-roofed dwelling, with no window, so that he could simply beyond question. This is a field of not even see the faces of the monks who occasionally came to knowledge, and we remain ignorant of it to our visit him, but kept his gaze on heaven. Thus the extraordinary great disadvantage. asceticism of this period had its focus on solitude as a means of grace. I am unaware that the words Extravert and Introvert appear It was an important day in my life when at last I understood in the index of any of Foster’s or Willard’s books. that if [Jesus] needed forty days in the wilderness at one But what do authors who are Type-aware say? Bruce Duncan point, I very likely could use three or four. (1993) writes: “Extraverts have often told me that they are (DallasWillard) made to feel guilty by introverted types” (p.95). And “Spiritual writers give them the impression that the silent inward journey is, if not the only way to pray, certainly the Foster’s (1978) 12-page chapter on the discipline of solitude is a best way”. He asserts that for extraverts “practical acts of landmark in modern Christian writing on the subject. He is very compassion really are prayer, and they need to be told practical, recommending small steps initially: “early morning so” (p.96). This is because introverts “need reflective time moments in bed before the family awakens; the morning cup of alone with God in a way that extraverts do not” (p.96). coffee before beginning the work of the day; the solitude of bumper to bumper traffic during the freeway rush hour; the Charles Keating supports this view, as evidenced by the title little walk from the subway to your home; slip[ping] outside just of his posthumously published book Who we are is How we before bed [to] taste the silent night” (p.93). And deliberate Pray. In it he writes of the potential frustration and confu- actions, such as finding or creating a place in the home or out- sion of Christians who seek God “in a manner that he did not side it where longer periods of solitude can be taken. create for us”. Willard (1988) regards Solitude as having primacy and priority Goldsmith (1994) writes that introverts “find that traditional among the disciplines. Writing of more extended periods of patterns of prayer and the practices that have been passed withdrawal he sombrely admits that it has inherent risks be- on to them … seem to fit their personality in the way that cause “in solitude we confront our own soul with its obscure round pegs fit round holes” (p.77). By contrast “most Extra- forces and conflicts that escape our attention when we are in- verts find prayer very difficult” (p.77): they “often feel they teracting with others” (p.161). He also points out that our are unable to pray” (p.78). Goldsmith himself is an extravert choosing solitude may also “threaten our family and friends”. and wonders if “perhaps Extraverts need to discover and feel But solitude is a necessity: “It was an important day in my life happy in a different sort of prayer” (p.78). However he does when at last I understood that if [Jesus] needed forty days in the not want to abandon what he terms introverted spirituality, wilderness at one point, I very likely could use three or four: because “everyone can be both Extravert and Introvert, and (Willard, 1998, p.388). at times have to operate in one mode rather than the oth- er” (p.77). A similar point is made by Robert Innes (1996): The second part of Thomas Merton’s Thoughts in Solitude “There is a certain quality of toughness that characterizes a (1958) is entitled “The Love of Solitude”. And love is not too genuinely Christian spirituality but which can be missing in strong a word for what introverts experience in solitude, silence those kinds of spirituality which focus on the development of and darkness. I relish the winter mornings, when I can be alone our own personality” (p.23). well before dawn, sitting in total darkness, free from all sensory stimulation (apart from a cup of tea) enjoying the presence of Ruth Fowke (1997) also cites extraverts who “pray most easi- God. I recognize that the very thought may appal my extravert ly when they are also doing something else” and feel “guilty readers! because they have been nurtured with the idea that prayer needs to be engaged in with single-minded stillness” (p.15f). Interestingly she advocates prayer while walking, jogging, Solitude for Extraverts doing some routine work or driving a familiar route. This of Richard Foster and Dallas Willard simply regard solitude and course is a mode of solitude, not an alternative to solitude. silence as necessary for discipleship. Foster (1978) concludes his chapter on the Discipline of Solitude as follows (p.95): Introversion for Everyone? Don’t you feel a tug, a yearning to sink down into The Extraversion/Introversion axis is widely acknowledged the silence and solitude of God? Don’t you long for by personality psychologists as an important dimension of something more? Doesn’t every breath crave a the human personality. However there is a massive differ- deeper, fuller exposure to His Presence? It is the ence between those who hold this view within a Myers- ® Discipline of solitude that will open the door. Briggs (Psychological Type) framework and those who es-

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T Y P E F A C E pouse the Five-Factor (Personality Trait) approach. For the for- These issues are well explored in Mark Tanner’s (2015) The mer, Extraversion and Introversion are related but distinct quali- Introverted Charismatic. Wisely, I believe, Tanner encour- ties, each with its own potentials and drawbacks. For the latter, ages introverted charismatics to engage with extraverted Extraversion is a valuable and admirable aspect of personality expressions of faith, arguing that they will be much enriched whereas Introversion is merely an absence or under- by doing so. By analogy, extraverts may need to learn how to development of Extraversion. For them the ideal personality is use Solitude, so as to draw benefits that can perhaps come ENFJ (employing Type terminology): the more my Type deviates no other way. On this view it is a disservice to extraverts to from ENFJ, the more I am to be pitied! encourage in them a belief that they do not need reflective I have discussed elsewhere these contrasting views of Introver- time alone with God. “Spirituality does not mean taking the sion both in general terms and in the context of Christian spirit- path of least resistance or always doing what is most com- uality (Lloyd, 2012a,b; 2015). There is an obvious difficulty in fortable or what comes most naturally (Johnson, 1995, p.39). reconciling the widespread appreciation and valuing of solitude For Christian disciples, Jesus of Nazareth is the pre-eminent with a wholly negative view of Introversion. I believe this largely role model. And the life of Jesus seems to illustrate the full explains the popularity of the Myers-Briggs® approach in reli- development of both polarities, Extraversion and Introver- gious circles. sion (Lloyd, 2012b). As already pointed out, he valued fre- Notwithstanding these considerations, and given the clear cor- quent periods of solitude, but he also was fully at home in relation between introversion and an appreciation of Solitude, crowds and social gatherings. Perhaps a determination to what of extraverts? Should they be encouraged to persist with develop both potentialities, one of which will be easy and exploring Solitude as a spiritual discipline? Or is there an alter- one hard, can be a feature of growing in the “likeness of native and more palatable approach to obtaining the benefits it Christ”. brings? References  Cain, S (2012) Quiet. London, Viking I increasingly regard Myers-Briggs  Duncan, B (1993) Pray Your Way. London, Darton Long- preferences as both a personal delight and man & Todd a personality imbalance. The often- used  Foster, R (1978) Celebration of Discipline. San Francisco, parallel with handedness is helpful here: Harper & Row  Fowke, R (1997) Personality and Prayer. Guildford, Eagle who would not want to be ambidextrous?  Goldsmith, M (1994) Knowing Me, Knowing God. Lon- don, SPCK In formulating a response, I draw on the Myers-Briggs® under-  Innes, R (1996) Personality Indicators and the Spiritual standing of the four pairs of cognate qualities, such as Extraver- Life. Cambridge, Grove Booklets sion/Introversion, as indicating an individual’s innate comfort-  Johnson, R (1995) Your Personality and the Spiritual Life. zone, or home-ground. A preference for one quality does not Wheaton IL, Victor imply that one has no need for the less-preferred cognate quali-  Keating, C J (1987) Who we are is How we Pray. Mystic ty. There is an asymmetry here, though. It is self-evident for CT, Twenty-Third Publications introverts, who know that they must learn to extravert in nu-  Lloyd, JB (2012a) The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and merous social and work contexts, even though they find over- Mainstream Psychology: Analysis and Evaluation of an much extraversion draining and even disagreeable. By contrast Unresolved Hostility.Journal of Beliefs and Values 33: 23 extraverts can avoid introversion totally if they so choose. I in- ® -34 creasingly regard Myers-Briggs preferences as both a personal delight and a personality imbalance. The often- used parallel  Lloyd, JB (2012b) Psychological Type and the Religious with handedness is helpful here: who would not want to be Quest for Wisdom and Maturity. Mental Health, Religion ambidextrous? &Culture 15: 837-847 Introverted Christians can find it hard to enjoy and participate in  Lloyd, JB (2015) Unsubstantiated Beliefs and Values Flaw extraverted forms of worship and fellowship. Cain (2012) in her the Five-Factor Model of Personality. Journal of Beliefs wide-ranging book Quiet, includes a fascinating section (pp. 65- and Values 36: 156-164 70) entitled Does God Love Introverts? In it she sensitively cri-  Merton, T (1958) Thoughts in Solitude. London, Burns & tiques an American evangelical culture that “ties together faith- Oates fulness and extraversion” (quoting Adam McHugh), and whose  Tanner, M (2015) The Introverted Charismatic. Oxford, spirituality has no place for solitude and contemplation. This Monarch culture seems as extreme in its way as the asceticism of the desert fathers and of Cuthbert of Lindisfarne. It is however com-  Willard, D (1988) The Spirit of the Disciplines. New York, patible with the popular Trait model of personality, in which HarperCollins introversion is no more than a regrettable deficiency in extra-  Willard, D (1998) The Divine Conspiracy. London, Harper version, and there is no incentive for extraverts to pursue prac- Collins tices that require an (unhealthy) withdrawal from social interac- tion. Volume 27 No. 1 303030 Winter 2016……...

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