USSVI — Blueback Base Newsletter Blueback Base, P.O. Box 1887 Portland, Oregon — June 2011 # 207 Clackamas, OR 97015-1887

The Creed of the USSVI is Not to Forget our Purpose…… “To perpetuate the memory of our shipmates who gave their lives in the pursuit of duties while serving their country. That their dedication, deeds, and supreme sacrifice be a constant source of motivation toward greater accomplishments, Pledge loyalty and patriotism to the United States of America and its Constitution.”

BASE MEETINGS... FORWARD BATTERY BASE COMMANDER— Executive Board Will Meet: Ray Lough 360-573-4274 [email protected] Thursday, 9 June 2011 VICE COMMANDER— VFW Post #4248 Gary Webb 503-632-6259 7118 S.E. Fern — Portland, OR SECRETARY— Dave Vrooman 503-262-8211 1730 TREASURER— Collie Collins 503-254-6750 Blueback Base Meeting: CHAPLAIN— Thursday, 9 June 2011 Scott Duncan 503-667-0728 CHIEF OF THE BOAT— VFW Post #4248 Stu Crosby 503-390-1451 7118 S.E. Fern — Portland, OR WAYS AND MEANS CHAIRMAN— 1900 Mike LaPan 503-655-7797 MEMBERSHIP CHAIRMAN— Bar-B-Q prior to the June Meeting! Gary Thrall 503-659-1917 PUBLICITY AND SOCIAL CHAIRMAN— Gary Schultz, Jr. 503-666-6125 BYLAWS CHAIRMAN— Chris Stafford 503-632-4535 SMALL STORES BOSS— Sandy Musa 503-387-5055 RUSTEE T — Fred Carneau 503-654-0451 SANITARY EDITOR— Dave Vrooman 503-466-0379

[email protected] NOMINATION COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN— Scott Duncan 503-667-0728 May Meeting Minutes 2 Eternal Patrol 5 PAST BASE COMMANDER— Dues Table 2 Support our Troops 6 Chuck Nelson 360-694-5069 HISTORIAN, EDITOR OF JOKES IN POOR This Month in History 3 Lost Boats — June 6 TASTE, EDITOR ON DEMAND, POC, AND ALL AROUND GOOD GUY Base Commander’s Corner 3 WWII Submarine Located 6 — Bob Walters 503-284-8693 Fair Market Rent 4 Did You Know —

Buy a Brick for the Albacore 4 SQ 7

From the Crew — Vietnam Memorial 7

Proud Dad 5 Memorial Day Pictures 8-9

Soooooo Sad 5 Best in the Atlantic 10

Navy Chief vs. Marine Gunny 5 The Lighter Side 10

VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 1 VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 2 (LeRoy has been elected as Commander of the Blueback Base Barbel Base in Yuma AZ.) Gary Schultz volun- Meeting Minutes teered to replace him. 12 May 2011 Tim Smart and Larry Johnson will coordinate dis- tributing The American Submariner to local VA hospitals and clinics. You can bring your read 1900—Meeting was called to order by Base Commander, Ray copies to the meetings if you want to donate Lough. them. Invocation — Ray Lough. 50/50—$32 won by “Collie” Collins. Pledge of Allegiance led — Ray Lough. Arlo Gatchel won the SubVets WWII Plaque. Moment of Silence for Lost Shipmates Good of the Order: Reading of the USSVI purpose and creed — Ray Ron Darkes reported that there is an all Navy Lough American Legion Post that is in danger of dis- banding. If you are interested in joining this Tolling of the lost boats for January — Mike Post contact Ron. LaPan and Chris Stafford. Bill Bryan reports that 4 boxes were sent to Af- Introductions — All. ghanistan last month, thanks to your donations. April meeting minutes approved. Keep ‘em coming. Secretary report (E-Board Minutes — Dave Bob Sumner reported that Ed Pleming has been Vrooman. moved to a nursing home. Treasurer report — Collie Collins. Money mailed Bob Walters needs a plumber. to Scholarship Fund. Don’t forget—Hot dogs and hamburgers grilled by Base Commander: Les and Ray at the June meeting. $5.00 per per- Danny Fong is responding to treatment and would son. The wives will provide the fix in's love to have visitors. Contact Ray for details. Benediction — Arlo Gatchel BZ to Larry Johnson for “extra” in helping with 1952—Meeting adjourned. projects. Sailing List — 34 hands aboard: Bryan, Jr.; Car- The base will take part in the Bald Eagle Festival neau; Collins, Collie; Corbett; Crosby; Curtis; Days in Cathlamet, WA on 16 July. The trailer Darkes; Dennis; Fitzgerald; Gatchel; Hager; will be there to ride on. They are planning on Hudson; Jackson; Johnson, Larry; LaPan; Lee; feeding us after the parade so we need an accu- Lough; Musa, Bill; Nelson; Sayler; Schultz; rate count of the number of members that will be Seel; Smart; Smith; Soderback; Stafford; Stowe; there. Contact Ray Lough if you are planning to Sumner; Tzevelekos; Vick; Vrooman; Walters; attend, ASAP. Webb; and Guest Casto. Old Business: Respectfully submitted th Molalla 4 of July Parade. A motion was made, Dave Vrooman, Base Secretary seconded and passed that the base would partici- pate in the parade in Molalla this year. Details will be finalized at the June meeting. USSVI DUES The Base will participate in the Memorial Day ANNUAL NATIONAL BASE celebration at Veteran’s Park in Beaverton on 30 May. The starting time is 1100, but it is recom- 1 Yr. $20.00 $15.00 mended that you get there early as parking is a 3 Yr. pre-pay $55.00 $15.00 / Yr.

problem. We will conduct a tolling of the boats 5 Yr. pre-pay $90.00 $15.00 / Yr. at the conclusion of the program. We need to finalize the location for this year’s LIFE NATIONAL BASE Christmas Party at the June meeting. If you < Age 45 $500.00 $300.00 have a suggestion, bring it to that meeting. Var- Ages 46-55 Yrs. $400.00 $250.00 ious locations have been suggested. Gary Webb Ages 56-65 Yrs. $300.00 $200.00 is looking into an Oregon City location, near Clackamette Park. Ages 66-75 Yrs. $200.00 $150.00 New Business: Ages 76 + $100.00 $50.00 LeRoy Vick has resigned a base Social Chairman In addition to the above there is a $7.00 one time fee for new base members to pay for a nametag. VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 3 THIS MONTH IN SUBMARINE HISTORY — The Hunt for Red October) snagged a tow cable attached to the tug Barcona, pulling it under and killing one of its sail- June… ors. The tug sank in 2,400 feet of water 10 miles southwest 28 June 1917 — the Submarine Force U. S. Pacific Fleet of Long Beach. 2 days later en route to San Diego, CA (SUBPAC) was established. (after filming wrapped) she became entangled in the net of 20 June 1921 — USS G-1 / USS Seal (SS-19½) was sunk as the fishing boat Fortuna. No injuries were reported and a target in Narragansett Bay, RI, just north of Taylor's Point. damage to the net was estimated at $2,000. She was towed back to Narragansett Bay by USS Grebe (AM- 6 June 2002 — USS Portsmouth (SSN-707) sank the target 43) in May 1921; the made eight experimental ex-USS Okinawa (LPH-3) during a COMSUBPAC SINK- depth charge attacks on G-1 while she lay off Taylor's Point. EX [SINKEX or Sink Exercise is a US military term for the Damaged and flooded by those explosions, the battered sub- test of a weapons system usually involving a torpedo or mis- marine settled to the bottom in 90 feet of water. Several at- sile attack of an unmanned target ship] off the southern coast tempts to raise her failed and the wreck was officially aban- of California in 2,020 fathoms of water. After being hit by doned. G-1 Seal is anomalously numbered SS-19½ because several Maverick missiles, Harpoon missiles, and general- by the time SS-19 D-3 Salmon and SS-20 F-1 Carp were as- purpose bombs, she was finally sunk by a Mk 48 torpedo signed submarine numbers Seal had been decommissioned. fired by the Portsmouth. [NOTE: G-1 was the first contract the Lake Torpedo Boat 9 June 2005 — CDR Slade Deville Cutter, 93, the U.S. Na- Company secured from the United States Government, but the contract's requirements were among the most severe ever re- val Academy athletic icon who later amassed one of the quired of a shipbuilder. The Company did not receive any great World War II combat records as a submariner com- payment on account during her construction and her required manding USS Seahorse (SS-304), died at Ginger Cove re- performances had never been approached by any other sub- tirement community in Annapolis. He had Parkinson's dis- marine in the world. G-1 met and exceeded those require- ease. “College football players should forget the game the ments and introduced several innovations. In addition to a moment it is over,” Capt. Cutter once said. Still, he will be pair of fixed torpedo tubes in the bow that required the vessel remembered for his sporting efforts as much as the far more herself to be trained, G-1 carried four torpedo tubes in a mount on her deck that could be trained in the same manner dangerous work he completed during the war, exploits that as a deck gun on a surface vessel while the boat was sub- earned him four awards of the Navy Cross and two awards merged, thus allowing a “broadside” shot of one or more tor- of the Silver Star. The Navy Cross is the second highest pedoes.] decoration given for valor, only the Medal of Honor surpass- 8 June 1943 — USS Rasher (SS-269) commissioned at Man- es it. [NOTE: His biographer, Carl Lavo, described Cutter itowoc Shipbuilding Co, Manitowoc, WI. as having an abrasive style 12 June 1958 — USS Ulua (SS-428) struck from the Naval with superior officers, Vessel Register; after use as a test hull to gather research data which may well have cost on new weapon and submarine design at Norfolk, VA, from him selection for promotion 1951to 1958, and sold for scrap to Portsmouth Salvage Com- to rear admiral. Especially pany. She had never been completed nor commissioned as controversial was his effec- the US Navy’s construction programs were curtailed in the tive challenge to Adm. Hy- closing days of WW II which resulted in the suspension of man Rickover, claiming further construction of . [Note: There is a conflict that the first nuclear sub- about the actual name of SS-428; some sources call her Ulua, marine, USS Nautilus others Ulna.] (SSN-571), was “strictly a 9 June 1959 — USS George Washington (SSBN-598) test vehicle. I doubt if she launched at the Electric Boat Division, General Dynamics will ever fire a shot in an- Cutter in an informal torpedo room chat Corporation, Groton, CT. ger.”] 8 June 1960 — sabotage was suspected in an incident involv- BASE COMMANDER’S CORNER— ing damage to a shipyard fire hose used on board USS Nauti- lus (SSN-571) for testing the boat’s evaporators while the she Memorial Day, just another holiday? When we was undergoing overhaul at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, NH. were kids and didn’t know the ways of the world The Navy said, “No damage occurred to Nautilus”. yet that probably was our attitude. This was an- 14 June 1989 — USS Houston (SSN-713) underway in San other chance to get out of school and get away Pedro Channel Near Santa Catalina Island, CA (while filming (Continued on page 5) VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 4

Fair Market Rent… Facilities Engineering Command and the Bowfin, but For the past 30 years, the USS Bowfin Submarine Museum Hofwolt declined to say what dollar figures are being dis- and Park has paid $1 a year for its waterfront spot next to the cussed for a new lease. Arizona Memorial visitor center, officials said. “It hasn’t been agreed upon yet,” he said. “We’re still in the That’s about to change in a big way. process of negotiating those kinds of things.” Since the current 25-year lease was signed, a change in fed- Hofwolt said that, considering the type of bill the Missouri eral law now requires the government to charge fair market pays, though, “it’s going to be kind of tough.” rent for leased-out taxpayer land. “It’s like anything. We're very cautiously optimistic that we The nonprofit submarine museum’s lease expires 14 July. can sit down and go forward,” he said. “(But) we’re like any After that the Bowfin will have to fork over rent many thou- other business: We're not going to leap into something.” sands of times higher than it pays now. Hofwolt said the big rent increase was expected, but it comes Just how many thousands remains to be seen. after the museum spent more than $700,000 for dry-docking in 2004, and as improvements are sought such as adding a The nonprofit Battleship Missouri Memorial paid a little photovoltaic system over the Bowfin submarine and modify- more than $200,000 in 2008 for its berth at Pier F-5 on Ford ing the entrance. Island. A new five-year lease signed in April and retroactive to 1 Jan. requires the Missouri to pay double that: $409,824 a Abercrombie was unsuccessful in 2008 in getting the secre- year, the Navy said. tary of the Navy to make an exception and charge the Mis- souri only a “nominal” rent and give other museums nearby, In 2008, at a time when the Missouri was being scheduled including the Bowfin, similar consideration. for a costly dry-docking to repaint the historic battleship’s hull, then-U.S. Rep. Neil Abercrombie secured a two-year rent break for the “Mighty Mo” by attaching the provision to the defense authorization bill. Congress allocated $9.9 million for repairs in the 2009 de- fense appropriations bill, and the state provided $250,000. Bowfin Executive Director Jerry Hofwolt, a retired Navy captain and submariner, said that with the economy in the shape it’s in, he’s not expecting any congressional assistance now. “Remember, we’re under the new fiscal constraints. There’s some impact with that,” Hofwolt said. “So what probably happened several years ago, with a new sort of playing field (now), those efforts probably would not necessarily be very effective.” Draft proposals have gone back and forth between the Naval

You can also download a PDF order form from our web site: http://www.bluebackbase.org VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 5 from the house chores and eat hamburgers, hot Navy Chief vs. Marine Gunny… dogs and homemade potato salad. Today, I at- Clive Waite sends — tended ceremonies at the Beaverton Veterans An old Navy Chief and an old Marine Gunny were sitting at Park honoring Veterans, past and present. Hap- the VFW arguing about who had the tougher career. pily many of you were there also. I was pleased “I did 30 years in the Corps,” the Marine declared proudly, to see many other families including youngsters “and fought in three of my country’s wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood and teens there also. We even gave respect to -soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy ma- two Pearl survivors in attendance. For chine gun nest with a single grenade. As a sergeant, I fought many they may have heard for the first time that in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed the ene- Memorial Day started not recently but back in my inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire. Final- the dark days following the Civil War. Graves ly, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours of the fallen were decorated with flowers just as in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and elephant grass they are today. I was proud of the Blueback for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire by day and mortar fire all night. In a fire- Vets that attended the ceremonies and stayed for fight, we’d fire until our arms ached and our guns were emp- the Tolling of the Bell ceremony after Marv ty, then we charged the enemy with bayonets.” Doty ended the main ceremony. I noticed we “Ah, you lucky bastard!” said the Sailor with envy. “All had a few “civilians” gather with us to pay their shore duty, huh?” respects. I hope you all remembered all our Vet- erans on Memorial Day and I hope you didn’t eat too many hamburgers or hot dogs! Ray Lough Blueback Base

FROM THE CREW — Ron Collins sends — Proud Dad… ETERNAL PATROL — Today the Admiral called my son Ryan in to his office and gave him the news that he Paul G. “Skook” Lovejoy, Lt(jg) will very soon start training as Executive Officer of the USS Paul Hamilton DDG 60 and then take command as Command- ing Officer. He has far exceeded my expecta- tions. Proud Dad, Ron

22 July 1938 — 12 May 2011 Eternal Patrol in Homer, Alaska Soooooo sad… Paul retired from the Navy, after 21 years, in 1977. He Phil Massicotte sends — qualified on USS Nautilus (SSN-571) in 1958 as a MM3, Advice to an old guy... an absolute heart-breaker. made the first polar trip in 1957 and advanced to MM1(SS) to CWO3 to LT(jg) during his carrier that included duty on An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted a USS Halfbeak (SS-352), USS Scorpion (SSN-589), USS sweet young thing... Lafayette (SSBN-616), USS Alexander Hamilton (SSBN- He asked the trainer that was near-by, “What machine in here 617), USS Catfish (SS-339), USS Grenadier (SS-525), and should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?” USS Tang (SS/AGSS-563). Paul joined Blueback Base in The trainer looked him up and down and said, “I would try 2004. Being in the Merchant Marine at the time he did not the ATM in the lobby.” spend much time in Portland. VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 6

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS… WWII Submarine located... Bill Bryan and his wife Shelia continue to ship your contri- 12 June 1943— butions to our troops. Most of the packages go to Afghani- Shortly after noon, USS R-12, while underway to conduct a stan. Your thoughtfulness and generosity is greatly appreciat- torpedo practice approach, sounded her last diving alarm. As ed by those who receive “care packages” from home. she completed preparations to dive, the forward battery com- Bring your donations to the next meeting or contact them at partment began to flood. The collision alarm was sounded and (360) 546-1111 or you can E-mail them at a report was made that the forward battery compartment was [email protected] flooding. Orders were given to blow main ballast, but the sea was faster. In about 15 seconds, R-12 was lost in 600 feet of water. The commanding officer, two other officers, and three LOST BOATS, — JUNE LOST BOATS, — JUNE enlisted men were swept from the bridge as the boat sank and were rescued. Forty-two lives were lost. R-12 was stricken USS Herring (SS-233) — Lost on 1 June 1944 with the from the Naval Vessel Register on 6 July. loss of 83 Officers and Men near Matsuwa Island. Herring was on her 8th war patrol and was conducting a surface attack when a shore battery spotted her and made 2 di- rect hits on her conning tower and causing her loss. Be- fore being sunk, she sank a freighter and a passenger- cargoman. She was the only US submarine sunk by a land battery. USS R-12 (SS-89) — Lost on 12 June 1943 with the loss of 42 Officers and Men near , FL during a prac- tice torpedo approach. The cause was probably due to flooding through a torpedo tube. The CO and 2 other men on the bridge survived, as did 18 crew members on liberty at the time of the accident USS Golet (SS-192) — Lost on 14 June 1944 with the loss of 82 Officers and Men. On her 2nd war patrol, Golet was apparently lost in battle with antisubmarine forces north of Honshu. USS Bonefish (SS-223) — Lost on 19 June 1945 with the loss of 85 Officers and Men when sunk near Suzu Misaki. Winner of 3 Navy Citations, Bonefish was on her 8th war patrol. After sinking a passenger-cargoman, 24 May 2011— Bonefish was subjected to a savage depth charge attack. An exploration team led by Tim Taylor aboard the expedition USS S-27 (SS-132) — Lost on 19 June 1942 with no loss vessel RV Tiburon has located and documented the wreck of of life when she grounded off Amchitkak Island. She was the WWII submarine USS R-12. on the surface in poor visibility, charging batteries and She sank nearly 70 years ago taking 42 submariners to their drifted into the shoals. When she could not be freed and deaths off the coast of the Florida Keys, USA. The reason for started listing, the captain got the entire crew to shore her loss remains unknown. (400 yards away) in relays using a 3-man rubber raft. The entire crew was subsequently rescued. R-12 began her career as a era sub that was re- commissioned for service in World War II. At the time of the USS O-9 (SS-70) — Lost on 20 June 1941 with the loss of sinking R-12 was engaged in war time patrol operations near 34 Officers and Men when she foundered off Isle of Key West. Shoals, 15 miles from Portsmouth, NH. In making the discovery, the team deployed a state of the art USS Runner (SS-275) — Lost between 26 June and 4 autonomous underwater robot which collected first ever im- July 1943 with the loss of 78 Officers and Men while she was on her 3rd war patrol probably due to mine. Prior to agery of the remains of R-12. “RV Triburon and her crew are her loss, she reported sinking a freighter and a passenger closely coordinating with the Underwater Archeology branch -cargoman off Kuriles. This boat’s last known ship sink- of the Naval History and Heritage Command who manage and ing happened on 26 June, so she probably hit that mine administer the Sunken Military Craft Act for the US Navy.” on or after that date RV Tiburon is launching an expedition in but before 4 July, the Spring of 2012 to further investigate when she w a s the possible causes of the sinking, and scheduled back collect detailed archeological baseline at Midway. data. VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 7

DID YOU KNOW — ington DC will be open to the public 24 hours a day from Fri- day morning through Monday night. The Wall will Sub School... travel north on I-5 from Vancouver, WA on 28 June with the 9 May 2011 — GROTON, Conn. — The local Navy base on escort of Patriot Guard Riders and others who join them. This Monday welcomed the first class of female officers selected special weekend will open with a short ceremony on Friday to serve on U.S. submarines. morning, the main program is on Sunday at 1300 and a brief The eight officers, who are scheduled to join submarine closing ceremony will be held Monday evening. crews in February, will be among the first women to serve on More than 100,000 visitors paid their respects when this Me- submarines since the Navy repealed a ban. morial Wall was at Sunset Hills Memorial Park in 2001. I’ve Until the Navy announced the change last year, women had been asked again to coordinate the volunteer effort in making been barred on the theory that the close quarters and long de- this a successful time of remembrance and healing. Volunteer ployments were unsuitable for coed crews. help is needed approximately 10 hours per day. Vietnam vet- The 10-week Submarine Officer Basic Course that began eran guards will be on duty throughout. Professional Grief Monday in Groton, a town midway between New York and Counselors will be available daily. , also includes 74 men. No changes have been re- There will be a variety of volunteer positions to fill: quired in terms of lodging or classrooms, Naval Submarine  Placing event posters around Puget Sound establishments. School spokesman William Kenny said.  Motorcycle escort of the Wall’s arrival. The women are among 18 selected for assignment to crews  On site computer name search & location for visitors of guided-missile and ballistic-missile submarines. They  Guides to help visitors find their special name on the Wall were split into two groups for training, which includes six months of Nuclear Power School and six months of Naval  Assistance with Wall rubbing of names Nuclear Prototype Training besides the submarine school.  Onsite Parking directions The other 10 are due to report to their boats in November.  Off site parking with bus loading & unloading Limiting women to officer slots lets the Navy sidestep the  Greeter/program handout/answering questions problem of modifying subs to have separate bunks and bath-  Name reader of the more than 58,000 names on The Wall rooms for enlisted men and women. The lone bathroom for officers will bear a reversible sign, letting men know it’s in If you would like to honor our veterans of the Vietnam Wall use by women and vice versa. with your assistance during this deeply moving experience, I’d be pleased to have you join our volunteer The Navy is still exploring the feasibility of modifying sub- team. Numerous volunteers are needed from 1000 to 2000 marines’ configurations to open the enlisted ranks to women, each day with shifts available to suit individual needs. This is said Lt. Brian Wierzbicki, a Navy spokesman at Kings Bay, an opportunity for participation of church, civic and other or- Ga. ganizations as well as individuals.

Please send me an email at: Designation 5 (SQ)… [email protected] Submarine designation Desig 5 (SQ) will be assigned by with "Wall" in the subject line and indicate your best day/ NAVPERSCOM (PERS-403) to enlisted personnel in subma- time frame and task preference. rine source ratings who are qualified in submarines but not expected to serve again in the submarine force. Personnel Visit: assigned Desig 5 (SQ) designator are entitled to wear the en- http://www.dignitymemorial.com/DignityMemorial/ listed submarine breast insignia. Personnel assigned Desig 5 VietnamWall.aspx (SQ) designator shall have the following service /record to learn more about the Dignity Traveling Vietnam Memorial NAVPERS 1070/613, Administrative Remarks entry made: Wall. “(Date): Assigned enlisted submarine designation Desig 5 (SQ). Member entitled to wear the enlisted submarine breast insignia.

Vietnam Memorial Wall Visit... Friends, The Puget Sound area will have an exceptional Independ- ence Day tribute to our Vietnam Veterans with the return of The Dignity Vietnam Memorial Wall to Bellevue's Sunset Hills Memorial Park, 1 July through 4 July. This ¾ scale replica of the original Memorial Wall in Wash- VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 8

Veteran’s Park — Beaverton, Oregon Memorial Day — 30 May 2011 VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 9

Tolling of the Boats Blueback Base Veteran’s Memorial Park Beaverton, Oregon Memorial Day 30 May 2011 VENTING SANITARY Inboard — June 2011 — Page 10

Best in Atlantic Fleet... streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as NORFOLK, Va. — The crew of a Norfolk-based attack sub- Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me. marine has won a Navy award for being the best-all around To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the ship in the Atlantic Fleet. cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, The USS Boise (SSN-764) is the winner of the 2010 Batten- but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all berg. at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the The award was made by Adm. John Harvey, commander of phone rings. U.S. Fleet Forces Command. The world is just getting too complex for me. They even The Navy has awarded the cup for operational excellence mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would since 1978. The Boise is the third submarine to win the award think they could settle on something themselves but this sud- since 1999. den “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me The other finalists in the Battenberg Cup com- for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to petition were the aircraft carrier USS Harry avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in S. Truman (CVN-75) and the amphibious with me. warfare ship USS Nassau (LHA-4). Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was THE LIGHTER SIDE — recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.” A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to (and under!)... allow you to forward it to those who are. Us senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year door remote are about all we can handle. business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twit- tererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest per- son I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship. When I get re- ally lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross