LAW & CULTURE

legislation, which is the first of its kind to the Kings School, Parramatta, where he great persuader himself, Heraclitus, was be passed in Australia, albeit heavily diluted was awarded colours for ‘punctuation and considered almost supernaturally handsome, from its original form by a ‘timid parliament’ his dedication to the fagging system’ and (p 2) But his natural good looks have not (p I 12). It includes model legislation which found early distinction by reason of his made him complacent: has been developed by the Public Interest insistence on the archaic spellings ‘shewed’ I was lucky enough to begin greying around Law Clearing House. Overall, the book and ‘connexion’. He proceeded, inevitably, the temples at age seventeen ( 17), and, is well worth reading for an insight into a to the NSW bar. There he became known indeed, in my halcyon days, was known as contested field of law that stands to be as the ‘the Velvet Salamander’ by dint of the ‘Silver Canetoad’ around the Union Club. increasingly important as environmental his ‘cunning, patience, and flamboyant I am now blessed with probably the thickest issues become more pressing. garmentry’. Sometime in the 1970s head of hair of any octogenarian in Australia. (chronological order is not one of his But rest on my profuse, hoary laurels I do not: PENELOPE SWALES is a law student strengths) he appointed himself KC — I continue to strive for perfection. Through at Monash University. rather than QC — on the basis that it had dedication and the constant application of REFERENCES lemon juice and a curling iron, I have managed been ‘widely, and correctly, acknowledged to train my hair to grow in the colour, 1. The Bush Lawyer’s Guide to Avoiding and Surviving Civil Litigation at 13 April 2010. V’s death had already warranted his hairpiece gives me around-the-clock gravitas, 2. Chapmans &0rsv Conservation Council & Ors (2002) elevation to that rank.’ whether I am drafting, hunting or even just SASC 4; Chapmans v Conservation Council, F0GAK & Ors His practice appears to have been evenly visiting the corner store (p 2). SADC 1366 of 1997. divided between the High Court of He also warns against conventional 3. Gunns v Burling & Ors, [2004] VSC 9575; Tasmanian Pulp & Forest Holdings & Gunns Forest Products v Burling & Ors, Australia, the Refugee Review Tribunal anti-ageing treatments: [2009] VSC 4 173 see also Gunns Ltd v Marr (No.5) [2009], (despite legal representatives not generally As our friends in the Orient have discovered, 4. ABC Stateline, Tasmania ‘Gunns Chairman to being permitted before that body) and the age is strongly correlated with wisdom. step down’ 23 April 2010 at 4 May 2010. copious statistical demonstrations of his lawman benefits from the depth, interest and success as an advocate (each triumphant character that age provides. I implore you to WHITELOCKE ON graph ‘adjusted for errors of fact and law’) do what you can to prematurely age your face. Ian ‘Molly’ Meldrum used to spend long hours LAWMANSHIP his talents do not appear to extend beyond in front of industrial grade heaters, periodically an ability to lock his knees and so stand basting his face with a tonic of ammonia and Bullstrode Whitelocke KC, for days at a stretch, circular breathing, basil pesto, to obvious effect. His inexorable Gordon/Abbot Publishing, 2009 and a genius for distraction (including the rise in the face of a manifest lack of talent and (3rd ed), 171 pp, $20 (paperback), patented ‘Whitelocke drop’). suspected communist sympathies should be all available from clawmanship. Mr Whitelocke is at once magnificent the proof you need (p 3). blogspot.com>. and shabby. He is a vainglorious, name- And so Mr Whitelocke goes on for 15 Whitelocke on Lawmanship is something dropping, self-referencing snob. Yet he is so surprisingly well-sustained chapters, distinctive and possibly unique: an desperate for his readers’ admiration, so covering philanthropy, conversation, intentionally comedic legal textbook. My blatant and ingenious in his exaggerations preparation, courtroom tactics, disruption impression is that the form is so ripe with and outright lies, so expansive in his (in and out of court), the written word possibility that its true authors — who range of historical, sporting and cultural and politics. There is also a bizarre chapter remain fashionably anonymous but can references, and so proud of his dazzling titled ‘Dealing with Juniors, Solicitors and reasonably easily be identified on Google array of cheap courtroom tricks that it Inferiors Generally’ where the reader — may have invented a new genre. becomes hard not to feel some perverse is introduced to Tron J — a computer The book purports to be a learned treatise affection for him. simulated judge invented by Mr Whitelocke on ‘Lawmanship’ by eminent Sydney silk, There is no better way to get the flavour and ‘programmed to deal out the withering Bullstrode Whitelocke KC. Lawmanship of this unusual work than to set out a personal criticisms necessary to prepare an is not a concept capable of satisfactory few passages. The following are from the aspiring lawman for his first appearance in a definition (the closest Mr Whitelocke gets first substantive chapter, ‘How to Project real courtroom’ (p 75). is ‘effective communication executed with Yourself: Image is Everything’: Mr Whitelocke does more than mete an aristocratic dignity no longer common For men aspiring to greatness, the out advice. He also provides samples of in the colonies’) but it is ultimately importance of a pleasant countenance is not his written work for us to marvel at and unimportant — the real subject of Mr a new development. Looks have been an learn from. He illustrates the importance Whitelocke’s book is Mr Whitelocke. important aspect of advocacy and persuasion of ‘drafting in the correct narrative voice’ Apparently, the learned author was born in since the birth of Julian of Norwich in 1342 at as follows: 1921 in Bowral, NSW and was a boyhood which time man first became able to discern I use the narrative voice of the very pious friend of Sir Donald Bradman. He attended the pleasant from the repulsive. Indeed, the when writing character references for myself AitLJ Vol 35:3 2010 87 LAW & CULTURE

or when defending myself against the regular THE WAY OF THE WORLD all-original album containing thoughtful barbs of my many jealous rivals in the NSW narratives, superb melodic arrangements legal profession: Mose Allison; CD, Anti-/Shock; and a hefty dose of nostalgia. Two songs, Your Honour, 2010, $32.99 ‘Remembrance Day’ and ‘Piper to the Who are we, as humble servants of the Lord, After 12 years of retirement, Mose End’, evoke the ghosts of soldiers past. to say what action may, or may not, have Allison re-entered the studio to record Knopfler is donating their royalties to ‘reasonable prospects of success’. Your Honour, The Way of the World’, thanks to the British Legion Poppy Appeal. Indeed, when our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ offered producer Joe Henry. It’s a perfect match, his life for our sins, he did not ask if his sacrifice they’re both also family affairs: ‘Piper’ would have ‘reasonable prospects of success too. The persuasive Henry, a fine singer- was inspired by Knopfler’s Uncle Freddie, Just as I, like the Son of the Father, came before songwriter himself, played a pivotal a Black Watch piper killed in battle in the Court, not having ‘calculated’ by chances production role with talents as diverse as 1940, while other Knopflers feature in the like a money changer or dove seller but instead I Teddy Thompson, Solomon Burke, Mary 22-voice choir of kids and mums heard acted on the basis of something more intangible: Gauthier and Rodney Crowell. Allison’s on ‘Remembrance’. The CD’s two best divine providence (p 93). great records have influenced countless tracks involve great crafts: ‘Monteleone’ I found myself laughing to the point performers, across musical genres, for is a subtly orchestrated tribute to master of pain when reading this book. The more than half a century. Now, at age 82, luthier John Montelone, while in ‘So Far subject-matter means it is unlikely to have the venerable Mose has lost none of his From the Clyde’, the Glasgow-born much immediate appeal except to legal cool wit and incisiveness, underpinned balladeer laments the passing of an era as practitioners, academic lawyers and law by a trademark, blues-powered piano. a ship makes its final journey to the ship students. That is a shame because the Joe Henry has brought on board backers breaker’s yard. humour is really driven by Bullstrode’s Greg Leisz (guitar), David Piltch (bass), Jay MIKE DALY is a journalist Falstaffian personality and, based on a Bellerose (percussion), and Walter Smith and music reviewer. carefully controlled series of experiments on tenor sax, allowing Allison to breeze carried out in my living room over the through four covers and eight new songs. last few months, is appreciated by people The cheeky opener ‘My Brain’ is actually without any particular training or interest a self-mocking take on Willie Dixon’s ‘My in the law. Babe’, celebrating Allison’s cerebral acuity while enumerating the hourly diminution I should add that the book is not without of his little grey cells: 1200 neurons. He faults. Parts of it are dominated by gives religion short shrift on the delightful what some readers might deprecate as ‘Modest Proposal’, delivers a graceful undergraduate humour and it contains rendition of the ballad ‘Once in a While’ errors that cannot be explained away by and turns up the instrumental heat with the unreliable narrator. The last chapter, ‘Crush’. Leisz’s elegant guitar is a highlight which covers Mr Whitelocke’s time as of Loudon Wainwright’s ‘I’m Alright’ senator for the Northern Territory, is and Roosevelt Sykes’ ‘Some Right, Some comparatively flaccid (no doubt because, Wrong’. Unfortunately, Allison’s closing as Mr Whitelocke freely admits, it was duet with daughter Amy on This New ‘dictated but not read’) and, in my opinion, Situation’ remains unconvincing. the deliberately amateurish pictures do not do justice to the genius of the text and should have been left out. GET LUCKY But these are minor irritations. The Mark Knopfler; CD, Vertigo/UMG; humour is prolific and at times attains 2009, $21.95 a rare level of invention: I am unlikely Even in Dire Straits’ mid-80s heyday, to forget Bullstrode’s ‘First Rule of Mark Knopfler let his Fender Stratocaster Participative Conversation’ or his retelling take centre-stage. His musical technique of the story of King Solomon and the has evolved over 30-odd years into an two mothers. For those lawyers and amalgam of British folk narrative and non-lawyers who are, as it has been put, US country balladry, spiced with a dash ‘burdened with a sense of humour’, this of JJ Cale-style smoky Oklahoma blues. book will provide hours of enjoyment. Between movie soundtracks, he’s also recorded more recently with Chet Atkins JAMES HUTTON is a reader at Eleven and Emmylou Harris, and released several Wentworth Chambers, Sydney. tuneful solo CDs. Knopfler’s latest, ‘Get Lucky’, is among his best ever, an 188 — AltLJ Vof 35:3 2010