THE ONE with the BLACKOUT Originally Written by Jeffery Astrof and Mike Sikowitz
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
THE ONE WITH THE BLACKOUT Originally written by Jeffery Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by James Burrows [Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is about to sing and Rachel is about to introduce her.] RACHEL: Everybody. Shh, shhh. Err, Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay. [All cheer and applaud] ROSS: [Just off camera] Alright!!!! PHOEBE: Thanks. Hi, erm I want to start with a song that`s about that moment when you suddenly realise. what life is really all about. OK, here we go. [Phoebe is all ready to start to sing. She strums the guitar.and then the power goes off.] PHOEBE: OK thank you very much. [Scene: Cuts to Chandler in an ATM vestibule. He starts to walk towards the door to leave, and the power goes off, the lights go out, then flicker back on.] CHANDLER: What? [He grabs the door handle and shakes it, the doors are locked] CHANDLER: Oh great ! This is just. [ He turns and sees that he locked in the ATM vestibule with a beautiful woman ( the famed Victoria`s Secret model Jill Goodacre). He turns back and makes a GREAT gesture with his arms and hands.] CHANDLER: [mouths to himself quietly] ..GREAT!!!!! OPENING TITLES [SCENE:Monica and Rachels appartment, Ross, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are there. Rachel is looking out of the window.] RACHEL: Wow, this is so cool you guys, the entire city is blacked out. [Monica is on the phone to her Mom] MONICA: Mom says it`s all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens and they have no idea when it`s coming back on. RACHEL: Wow, you guys this is big. MONICA: Pants and a sweater, why Mom, . who am I going to meet in a blackout, power company guys, eligable looters, . can we talk about this later? Ok. [Monica puts the phone down] PHOEBE: Can I borrow the phone, I want to call my apartment and check on my Grandma.. Wait what`s my number? W well I never call me! [SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule] CHANDLER: ( Voice over. Thinking to himself ) Oh my God, it`s her, it`s that Victoria`s Secret model.. something, something Goodacre..... [Jill is on her mobile phone] JILL: Hi Mom, it`s Jill. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) She`s right it`s Jill, Jill Goodacre. Oh my God I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre, is it a vestibule? Maybe it`s an atrium, oh yeah, that is the part to focus on you idiot! JILL: Yeah I`m fine, I`m just stuck at the bank, at an ATM vestibule. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Jill says vestibule, I`m going with vestibule. JILL: I`m fine, no I`m not alone, I dunno know some guy. CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Oh, some guy.I`m some guy. Hey Jill I saw you with some guy last night, yes he was SOME guy. ( As he is saying this to himself, he starts to walk towards Jill, smiling. Jill gives him a strange look, and he turns back and pretends to dance) [SCENE: Cuts back to Monica and Rachels apartment, Joey enters carrying a lit menorah, he starts to walk across the room, and the others give him strange looks.] JOEY: Hi everyone. ROSS: And effciating at tonights blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani. [Joey places the menorah by the television] JOEY: Well, Chandler`s old room mate was Jewish and these are the only candles we have so, Happy Hanukkah everyone! PHOEBE: Eww look, ugly naked guy lit a bunch of candles. [All go over to the window] ALL: Ewwww ALL:Oooooo RACHEL: Ooo Ooo. That had to hurt. [SCENE: Cuts back to Chandler in the ATM vestibule, he is looking at his watch.] CHANDLER: ( Voice over. ) Alright, alright, alright it`s been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word, oh God do something, just make contact, smile ( Chandler smiles. Jill turns to see him smiling, she smiles back, Chandler carries on smiling.) CHANDLER: There ya go. ( Chandler continues to smile, Jill looks worried .. Chandler stops smiling.) You`re definitely scaring her. JILL: Er, would you like to call somebody? CHANDLER: (Voice over. ) Yeah, `bout three hundred guys I went to high school with. ( Now speaking to Jill) Yeah, thanks. ( Chandler takes the phone from Jill. ) [Chandler dials Monica`s number on the phone.] [SCENE: Cuts to Monica`s apartment, the phone is ringing and Monica answers.] MONICA: Hello. CHANDLER: Hey it`s me. MONICA: ( To the others in the apartment. ) It`s Chandler. PHOEBE: ( Quietly in the background. ) Oh. MONICA: Are you ok? CHANDLER: Yeah, I`m fine. ( In a muffled voice. ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. MONICA: What? CHANDLER: ( Still muffled. ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Good-acre! MONICA: I have no idea what you just said. CHANDLER: ( Normal Voice. ) Put Joey on the phone!!! [Monica hands the phone to Joey.] JOEY: What`s up man? CHANDLER: ( Muffled ) I`m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill ( Extremely Muffled.) WOODACREAAH!!!!!!!! JOEY: ( Very excited, in disbelief.) Oh my God . ( Joey points rapidly at the phone.) he`s trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. Chandler listen, listen ( Now Joey speaks in a muffled voice.) Hurm hur hur hurm hur hur ahur hur. ( Totally unrecognisable. ) CHANDLER: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind. [SCENE: Back at Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there ( except Chandler ) sitting on the couches. RACHEL: Ok ok, somebody somebody. PHOEBE: Come on. JOEY: Go. MONICA: Alright, I`ll go I`ll go JOEY:Ok. MONICA: Ok erm, senior year of college. on a pool table! JOEY: Whoo hoo hoooo!! RACHEL: A pool table? PHOEBE: Whoa! ROSS: That`s my sister. JOEY: Ok, Ok my weirdest place would have to beeee. the womens room on the second floor of the New York city public library. MONICA: Oh my God, what were you doing in a library? [Rachel laughs] ROSS: Hey Phebes, what about you? PHOEBE: Oh erm. Milwauke. [Everyone gives Phoebe a strange look] RACHEL: Er Rossss? ROSS: ( Intake of breath and clears his throat. ) Er, Disneyland, ( Rachel gasps. )1989, it`s a small world after all. MONICA: ( Laughs) PHOEBE: No way! JOEY: No waaay! ROSS: Yeah, the er, ride broke down, er so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children, and they, they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the magic kingdom! PHOEBE: Ooo Rachel! RACHEL: Oh come on, I already went. JOEY: No no no. MONICA: You did not go, come on. RACHEL: Yes I did! JOEY: Come on. MONICA: Come on, tell us. RACHEL: Come on. JOEY: Come on. RACHEL: Alright, errrr the weirdest place. would have to beeee. oh . the foot of the bed. ROSS: Step back! JOEY: We have a winner! [SCENE: Time lapse.Ross and Rachel are talking. Joey is sitting on the chair, while Monica and Phoebe are out on the balcony.] RACHEL: Huh, I`ve just never. had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where, where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park. ROSS: Well it was the only thing to do there, that didn`t have a line. RACHEL: Alright well, see, I mean, Barry wouldn`t even kiss me on a minature golf course. ROSS: Come on. RACHEL: No..he said we were holding up the people behind us. ( Rachel sighs ) ROSS: And you didn`t marry him be-cause? RACHEL: I mean d`you think. there are people that go through life never having that kind of. ROSS: Probably. RACHEL: Really? ROSS: But, but, you know I`ll tell you something, passion is way over rated. RACHEL: Yeah, right! ROSS: It is, er eventually it kinds of burns out, but hopefully what you are left with is trust and security and er, well in the case of my ex-wife. .lesbianism! So you know for all those people who miss out on that er, passion thing, there`s all that other good stuff. RACHEL: ( Sighs ) Ok. ROSS: But er, I don`t think that`s gonna be you. RACHEL: You don`t ? ROSS: Umm, see I see, er, big. passion in your future. RACHEL: Really? ROSS: Umm RACHEL: Ya do? ROSS: I do. RACHEL: Oh Ross, your so great, nuh. ( Rachel gets up and ruffles Ross`s hair and then walks off. Ross now looks very pleased with himself. He gets up and starts to walk passed Joey.) JOEY: It`s never gonna happen. ROSS: What? JOEY: You and Rachel! ROSS: Wha.Huh Hea. whadda..me, un, ra..wadda..uhtur. .why not? JOEY: Be-cause you waited too long tomake your move, and now your in the friend zone! ROSS: No no no, I am not the zone JOEY: No, Ross your mayor of the zone! ROSS: Look I`m takin` my time, alright, I`m, I`m, I`m laying the ground work, yeah, I mean every day I get just a little bit closer to.. JOEY: Priesthood!!!! Look Ross, I`m tellin` ya she has no idea what your thinkin` and if you don`t ask her out soon, you`re gonna end up stuck in the zone..forever! ROSS: I will, I will, I`m just, see I`m just waiting for the, er, right moment. (Joey looks at Ross, in disbelief.) What. what now? JOEY: Yeaaahhh!!! What`s messing you up, the wine, the candles, the moonlight, huh you just got to go up to her and you gotta say look Rachel, I think th.