You've Got to Have Friends

Module 2 Handout 2.3: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies You’ve Got to Have Friends Gail E. Joseph, Ph.D. & Phillip S. on Chloe!” The differing social worlds something, or they can assist someone Strain, Ph.D. experienced by Chloe and Cesar not in distress. Center on Evidence Based Practices only predict very divergent Giving compliments – While these for Early Learning developmental trajectories in preschool, behaviors do not often occur among University of Colorado at Denver but they set the occasion for life-long preschoolers they tend to have a consequences. Based upon longitudinal powerful effect on the formation of and retrospective research it is clear friendships. Preschoolers compliment esar is one of the more popular that Cesar is on a developmental path one another’s successes, buildings, and children in his preschool class. toward self-confidence, continual appearances. CHe often lands his classmates in friendships, school success, and healthy In addition to engaging in these creating unusual and fun imaginary adult adjustment. Chloe is sadly on a discrete behaviors, the formation of games. He readily shares toys and developmental path toward deepening friendship is equally dependent upon materials, often proposing a trade that isolation, loneliness, and adult mental two patterns of interaction. First, it is works for all. Cesar laughs a lot, he is health problems. Indeed early necessary for children to be reciprocal enthusiastic, and he almost always friendships are the most powerful in their interactions. Reciprocity has says, “Yes” when a classmate asks him single predictor of long-term two dimensions. Initially, children need to play or has a different play idea. adjustment. to be responsive to the social bids of Cesar also says nice things to his others. Also, over a period of time (say classmates and acknowledges their What behaviors lead to several months), it is important that accomplishments. When it is time to friendship? there be a relatively equal number of choose a friend for an activity Cesar is Several discrete behaviors that occasions that each member of a always in great demand. young children engage in during play friendship dyad starts an interaction. In Chloe is one of Cesar’s classmates. with each other are directly related to addition to reciprocity, friendship She spends most of her time in having friends (Tremblay, Strain, patterns of interaction are also preschool staying close to her teacher, Hendrickson & Shores, 1981). That is, characterized by the length of occasionally hovering around a gang of children who do more of these interaction occurrences. That is, children playing together. Chloe behaviors are more likely to have friendship pairs engage in more doesn’t say much to her classmates and friends. These specific behaviors lengthy episodes. they in turn seldom speak to her. including: Chloe, in fact, has lots of skills. She Organizing Play – with preschoolers Setting the stage for friendship knows what to do with toys and these are usually, “Let’s” statements, Prior to beginning instruction in utensils; she knows the usual “scripts” such as, “Let’s play trucks.” Often friendly behavior, teachers need to that emerge in imaginary play. Chloe these “Let’s” statements are followed attend to five elements of the seldom gets chosen by another by suggestions about roles (e.g., “You classroom. First, an inclusive classmate to participate together. In her be the driver”) or specific activities classroom where children with world of social isolation she (e.g., “Roll it to me”). disabilities are meaningfully included occasionally appears sad to the outside Sharing – sharing takes many forms in natural proportions is critical to observer. among preschoolers. Children with setting the stage (Guralnick, 1990). The behavioral contrast between friends request in the form of, “Can I Second, the presence and pre-selection Cesar and Chloe is profound. Cesar has have some paint” and they also oblige of cooperative use toys and materials classmates who advocate for him, share requests from peers. increase the opportunities for social encourage him, and include him. Assisting Others – assisting also interaction. Cooperative use toys are Chloe, on the other hand, is like an takes many forms at the preschool those that naturally lend themselves to invisible member of the class. No one level. Children can help each other two or more children playing together. asks, “Where’s Chloe;” no one says, onto or off of an apparatus, they can See Box 1 for a list. Third, it is “We need Chloe,” no one says, “Come tell or show a friend how to do necessary to examine all classroom Rev. 11/03 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign csefel.uiuc.edu H 2.3 (p. 1/4) Module 2 Handout 2.3: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies routines and embed social interaction instruction and practice opportunities Example of schedule with embedded friendship opportunities throughout the day. Box 2 provides an example of how one teacher decided to Arrival • Find a “buddy” to walk with from the bus to class. • One child is assigned to be the “greeter” and greets children by embed social opportunities in her name as they arrive. classroom routines. Fourth, in order to ensure that social interaction Circle Time • One child is selected to pass out the circle time props to each instruction has the necessary classmate. As the child progresses around the circle they call each importance; teachers need to include child by their name and say “pick a ___.” Each child then responds with, “Thanks (child’s name).” After children have a chance to use social interaction goals and objectives the circle time prop they will trade with a friend. on a child’s IEP/IFSP. While these • Children identify a “buddy” to play with at choice time. The pair goals are likely to be the most critical must decide together where they will play first. for the child’s later development, they often do not appear on IEPs or IFSPs Free Choice • Children will play with their “buddy” (assigned or selected) for the (McConnell, McEvoy, Odom, 1992). first ten minutes of free choice time. If they stick with their buddy the whole time they get special reward (sticker, stamp on hand, etc.). This could be due to the fact that many • Adults watch for friendly behaviors and provide reinforcement when assessments do not include these skills appropriate. as test items. Finally, and most • Set up the “buddy” table. Children must find a friend to play at the importantly, teachers need to devote table with in order to gain access to the high preference toys there. energy toward creating a classroom Small Group • Plan cooperative art projects: “Buddy Art” climate with an ethos of friendship. • Teach children to play board games (e.g., “Barnyard Bingo,” When one walks into a classroom “Candy Land,” “Don’t spill the beans”). where a teacher has done this • Put children in charge of different materials needed for the small successfully you see adults give time group project (e.g., Tommy has the glue, Helen has the sequins, and attention to children when they Haley has the paper, Finot has the scissors, etc.). The children must engage in friendly behaviors, you hear use their peers name to request materials. adults talk nicely to one another, you • Adults reinforce children for sharing. hear children supporting one another’s Outside • Pre-select cooperative use toys for outside play (e.g., tire swings, friendly behavior and overall you get a wagons, double tricycles, balls, etc.). sense that friendship is the ultimate • Adults organize peer play (e.g., Duck, Duck, Goose; Red Rover; goal. Farmer in the Dell; tag, etc.). • Adults watch for and reinforce friendly behavior at appropriate times. Cooperative Use Toys Snack • Have each child in charge of different snack items (e.g., Joey has juice, Haley has crackers, Sam has orange slices, Ben has cups, Balls Olivia has peanut butter, Cody has napkins). Children have to ask Puppets each other for the snack items from a peer. Wagons • Adults reinforce children for sharing. Two telephones Story time • Select books with friendship themes. Teeter-totters Dress-up clothes Goodbye • Compliment circle – children have a chance Dramatic play materials Circle to give a friend a compliment while passing around the “compliment Tire swings bear.” Rocking boats • One child can pass out backpacks from the cubbies as children are Board games about to leave. • One child can say goodbye to each classmate. Box 1. Cooperative Use Toys Transitions • During choice time, instead of transitioning to a center – transition to a friend (use a friend picture schedule). • Children can hold hands going from one activity to another. • One child can give children a high-five as they come in from outside. • During clean-up, adults watch for and reinforce children’s helping behavior. Box 2 Rev. 11/03 The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign csefel.uiuc.edu H 2.3 (p. 2/4) Module 2 Handout 2.3: Social Emotional Teaching Strategies Strategies for developing on the other (children show the happy appropriate and planned, can model friendships face when the behavior being modeled non-examples. Puppets in the image of Setting the stage is a necessary is friendly and the sad face when the children are particularly effective element of supporting children’s behavior being modeled is unfriendly). because they provide a proximate developing friendships. However, some It is also important to keep track of model. That is, children are more likely children will require systematic who has had a chance to role play and to emulate the behavior of models that teaching in order to develop the skills ensure that all of the children in the look like themselves.

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