FRIENDS MAGAZINE PUBLISHED FOR STONEWALL SUPPORTERS WINTER 2016

BY YOUR SIDE AT PRIDE Find out about our biggest Pride season ever.

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: Our new research on LGBT asylum seekers in detention, our first ever Stonewall Season, a look at the year ahead, and much more. Our Doors Are OpenTM.

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©2015 Enterprise Rent-A-Car. G01841 11.15 CB FRIENDS | CONTENTS

PAGE 4 WELCOME PAGE 6 STONEWALL SEASON

PAGE 5 YOUTH CAMPAIGNERS PAGE 8 SPORT AND RAINBOW LACES CONTENTS FRIENDS MAGAZINE WINTER 2016

PAGE 9 BEN SMITH: 401 CHALLENGE PAGE 11 CANDACE CHAN PAGE 14 NO SAFE REFUGE

PAGE 10 JONNY BENJAMIN PAGE 12 #BYYOURSIDE AT PRIDE PAGE 16 LEO & HAYLEY

PAGE 18 GLOBAL DIVERSITY CHAMPIONS

PAGE 20 CHESHIRE FIRE AND RESCUE SERVICE PAGE 22 OUR YEAR AHEAD

Design by Alex Long, Stonewall. Printed on recycled FSC certified paper, using fully sustainable, vegetable oil-based inks. All waste products are fully recycled. Registered in England and Wales: Stonewall Equality Ltd, Tower Building, York Road, London SE1 7NX. Registration no 02412299 - VAT no 862 9064 05 - Charity no 1101255

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 3 FRIENDS | WELCOME

WELCOME

A lot has changed in the world But what also came from Orlando was love. We Now, more than ever, we must ensure this does since our last edition of saw images of thousands queueing to donate not happen. Friends blood to the victims who needed it. We saw magazine. The UK voted to leave Now, more than ever, we must stand together as images of lesbian, gay, bi and trans folk around a united LGBT community, with all our diversity the European Union, we have a the world crying tears for their lost brothers and celebrated and cherished. We must come new Prime Minister, and the USA sisters, and of allies standing alongside us. together, with our allies, and look out for each other, advocate for each other and speak out has a new President. We mustn’t forget that love and the bond that we share as LGBT folk. What we are reminded of against discrimination. This responsibility belongs Whatever you think of these changes, there most during times like these is our ability to come to each and every one of us. is no doubt that they have brought to light together and stand by the side of every single part Stonewall’s vision is of a world where everyone, deep divisions in society, and these divisions of our diverse community. everywhere, can live, work, study, pray, play, unfortunately come hand in hand with hatred and socialise and live as themselves, and be accepted That night at Pulse, it was a specific part of fear. We cannot deny that these divides exist, without exception. but allowing society to settle into its separate our community that was attacked - it was a quarters is very dangerous – for LGBT people and Latin night most frequented by black, Asian and We need each other more than ever, and for for other groups in society. minority ethnic members of the LGBT community. Stonewall, and the wider community, your support means everything. And then we must, of course, not forget Orlando. It’s important that this detail is not lost in the This horrendous attack really highlighted the story, and that we must not lose sight of how RUTH x hatred that lesbian, gay, bi and trans people still different parts of our communities may struggle face, even when minding their own business and more than others or in different ways to create trying to stay safe within their own spaces. and navigate these safe spaces.

OUR SUPPORTER WHERE YOUR PROMISE MONEY GOES Your dedication and generosity 84p FOR EVERY 15p make our work possible. Campaigns and programmes Fundraising to secure equality for LGBT We are committed to making your support people everywhere £1 SPENT count. We will always spend money in the 1p most effective way, to empower individuals, Governance transform institutions, change hearts and minds and change laws.

We always want you to be happy with your gift and the way we communicate with you, and we welcome your feedback and comments. To get in touch with us just email [email protected] or call 020 7593 2291

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4 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | YOUNG CAMPAIGNER OF THE YEAR: MITCH PRICE

YOUNG CAMPAIGNER OF THE YEAR: MITCH PRICE

Our Young Campaigners programme provides young people with training and support to campaign against bullying and discrimiation in their schools, colleges, universities and communities. At the end of each programme, Stonewall names our Young Campaigners of the Year. One of this year’s winners Mitch Price told us about his campaign.

I first became involved with Stonewall after residential weekend where we experienced someone’s life! To my surprise, I was named one leaving my secondary school and feeling training, advice and activities from Stonewall staff of Stonewall’s Young Campaigners of the Year frustrated by the way in which it failed to address to help with our six-month campaigns. I was so 2016. That, alongside the great responses to my LGBT issues. A few years ago, I read research motivated that I started my campaign soon after campaign, has motivated me to do more. Despite carried out by Stonewall that showed that 75,000 I arrived home. I met with some of the staff at my LGBT rights having improved greatly in recent LGB students experience bullying each year old secondary school. I discovered that only one of years, homophobic, biphobic and transphobic in Britain. I was also in disbelief that 21,000 the 60 staff at the school was trained to deal with attacks still happen today in our schools, attempted suicide each year as a result. This is 21 LGBT-specific issues. communities and on the streets. We still need to times the size of my old school. push for social acceptance for LGBT people. Homophobic, biphobic and transphobic (HBT) It felt to me like not enough was being done to bullying is still a fairly new challenge for many When I met Sir Ian McKellen at the Stonewall address this. While I was at school, it was a schools. Section 28 was still enforced until 2003 Youth Awards, it was so moving and inspiring to hostile and unaccepting environment for many and thousands of teachers have been teaching far be beside a man who only publicly came out at LGBT students. This left me feeling irritated that longer than that. Stonewall research found that the age of 49 but has had such an impact since they were so reluctant to actively improve the almost 30 per cent of secondary school teachers then. Due to everything he and Stonewall have social environment. are unsure if they can identify homophobic achieved, I have been able to be openly gay and Bullying was an endemic problem at the school. bullying. This was apparent when I talked to have the same opportunities as a straight person. If a student came in wearing something out of some teachers at my old school, as many lacked But I know that I am luckier than some other LGBT the ordinary, they would most likely be faced with confidence and training to deal with HBT bullying. individuals. Here and internationally, people are disapproval or abuse. It hurt me to hear the words ostracised, persecuted, attacked and even killed I thought that it was crucial for more teachers ‘gay’, ’faggot’, or ’bent’ being used by students, due to their gender identity or sexuality. at my old school to become aware of LGBT some as young as 11, on a daily basis. When a issues. So I ran an LGBT-specific teacher training Since becoming involved with Stonewall, I have student (or even teacher) said the word ‘gay’ in a workshop to make teachers more aware of the witnessed examples of these attacks. We have derogatory way, it made me feel negatively about problems that had been prevalent at the school seen a 147 per cent increase in homophobic hate my sexuality. when I attended. I created student workshops on crimes recently, according to research from Galop, When I moved to The Henley College to study LGBT awareness, and some of the teachers helped which has created anxiety and instability among my A-Levels, intolerance and bullying were me present them to every pupil in the school. many LGBT people. We must achieve acceptance, replaced by diversity and acceptance. This is what My campaign educated students about why not just tolerance. It is imperative that Stonewall encouraged me to apply to Stonewall’s Young they shouldn’t use homophobic and transphobic receive support, volunteers and donations until all Campaigners Programme, with the intention of language. Many students use words like ‘faggot’ LGBT people achieve acceptance without exception! going back to my school and making a difference because it has become a fashionable term of for the current students. school vocabulary. To find out more about Young Campaigners and our work with young people, visit The programme started off with all of the 40 When I finished my campaign, I left my former www.youngstonewall.org.uk volunteers attending an incredibly memorable school feeling uplifted that it may have changed

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 5 FRIENDS | STONEWALL SEASON

1 STONEWALL SEASON Between 1–10 November we launched our first ever Stonewall Season, a festival of events that celebrated LGBT life and culture in all of its diverse forms, kindly supported by Visa.

Across England, Scotland and Wales, community Our headline event in Scotland, Making Equality We closed the week of celebrations with an art groups, businesses and brands came together to Happen, celebrated the creativity of Scotland’s exhibition and auction, featuring one off pieces celebrate what we’ve achieved so far, and think LGBT community. Held in partnership with from a selection of friends and famous faces about what’s left to do to secure equality for Inclusive Networks and Gayfield Creative Spaces, including Henry Holland, Nancy Fouts, Gareth lesbian, gay, bi and trans people everywhere. we exhibited work from LGBT artists, producers Pugh, Olly Alexander, Jake & Dinos Chapman and and creatives in Scotland. community campaign Diversity Matters. After a year of uncertainty for LGBT people in For those of you who held an event, attended one or Britain, the Season empowered individuals to For Stoneŵyl – the events coordinated by supported the Season in any other way, we’d like to become activists and champions in their own Stonewall Cymru in Wales – many of our extend a huge thanks. We are also extremely grateful communities. And it allowed us to shine a supporters hosted events for us, from a local to our friends at Visa for their continued support. spotlight on the wonderful diversity of those community group having a tea party to an communities. exclusive make-up workshop. Stoneŵyl was And for those of you who didn’t, check out some also a time for us to engage and empower our of the highlights of our 2016 Stonewall Season. We were thrilled to share a stage with Rainbow supporters, so we hosted a free Role Models We hope to be celebrating with you during the Noir, Proud Trust, trans activist Charlie Craggs Season in 2017. programme for our volunteers, supported by and actor Daniel Brocklebank, as we launched Principality. You can find out more about this year’s in Manchester. We talked about what ‘safe Stonewall Season by visiting spaces’ mean to LGBT people, how to be an ally Throughout the Season we also had huge support www.stonewallseason.org.uk. to intersectional parts of our community, and the from brands including Depop, Monki, Beyond To get in touch about next year’s Season, email importance of role models. Retro and Lloyds. [email protected]

KEY: 1. STONEWALL SEASON OPENING EVENT (MANCHESTER) - 2. MAKING EQUALITY HAPPEN ART EVENT (SCOTLAND) - 3. STONEWALL SEASON CLOSING EVENT - 4. HER UPSTAIRS FUNDRAISER FEAT. MZZ KIMBERLEY - 5. DEPOP X STONEWALL COLLABORATION - 6. RINKOFF BAKERY’S RAINBOW CAKE FUNDRAISER - 7. BLACK HISTORY MONTH PANEL DISCUSSION - 8. CHERRY BOMB FUNDRAISER - 9. LSBU TRANS DAY OF AWARENESS

6 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | STONEWALL SEASON

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Winter 2016 Friends magazine 7 FRIENDS | JACK BADU: SPORT AND RAINBOW LACES

JACK BADU: SPORT AND RAINBOW LACES

Stonewall supporter and ally around £35,000 for the year’. This pales in The Rainbow Laces campaign has done a lot to Jack Badu is Head of Coaching comparison to the millions of pounds paid to combat homophobia, biphobia and transphobia the top male players. in football, but I feel that the issue is still at Football Beyond Borders, deeply rooted in British society. a charity that uses football to When it comes to sexuality, English football’s support young people from record is even more shocking. The first I myself do not identify as LGBT, but I have been openly gay player, Justin Fashanu, played for lucky enough to go to university where I met disadvantaged backgrounds. Nottingham Forest from 1981-1982. He was gay, bi and trans people. Before this I myself He has recently founded the vilified by his own brother and by boss Brian harboured some anti-LGBT views due to my upbringing, which had taught me that straight Football Tango Project to tackle Clough for going to ‘poof’s clubs’. In 1997, he took his own life. With the Fashanu era a marriage is the right, and only, way. Many homophobia through tango distant memory, why is it that we still have hold this view and I feel that many more young dancing and football. no openly out players in the Premier League? people risk being indoctrinated to hate without Recent research by Stonewall shows that 72 campaigns like Rainbow Laces. He told us about discrimination per cent of football fans have heard anti-LGBT At Football Beyond Borders we use the unique remarks at games over the last five years. So power of football to educate young people. in sport, his work and the how much has really changed? We feel that it is important to use its universal importance of the Rainbow Laces language to bring people together from all As a young, black football coach I’ve witnessed walks of life. This summer we were invited to campaign. my fair share of prejudice. From hearing ‘mark take part in the Proudly East London football that coloured fella’ on the pitch to ‘they’ve got tournament hosted by the Clapton Ultras and Can football ever be free from homophobia, a black guy on the wing; bet he’s rapid!’. Sadly, sponsored by Fans for Diversity. biphobia and transphobia, or is this mentality hearing phrases like these on the pitch has too tightly sewn into its fabric? There are no been a normal experience for those who aren’t It’s events like this that really help reveal the openly gay or bi male professional players in straight, white males. true power that football can have in bringing the game. communities together and demonstrating that These views can be learned in schools, football should be diverse, tolerant and anti- When we think of the clubs that hold the universities or sports clubs. It’s killing our game. racist. Indeed, building on decades of work, Premier League’s top spots, we’re not simply football has cleaned up its act with regard to seeing 11 men who kick a ball. Instead To tackle this behaviour, I am working with racism. we’re seeing super-brands in action; clubs my colleague Ray Batchelor and Bucks New that command astronomical broadcasting, University to create the Football Tango Project, Given where it started from, this has been a advertising and sponsorship fees. They’re a programme of practical workshops to help massive change. The same change can happen selling an image and a lifestyle. For some change these common patterns of thought. We with homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and supporters of the world’s most popular sport, have the support of Stonewall, are in contact sexism but, as with racism, it will involve taking being LGBT isn’t part of the image they want to with the FA and are steadily involving others. concrete steps. Innovative thinking can work. help project. We’re using it with things like Football Tango I am a coach. Ray teaches tango. We use Project. Football’s record on racism, sexism and football drills based on tango teaching to anti-LGBT attitudes has been far from ideal. help sharpen players’ physical reactions as Thanks to Rainbow Laces, other campaigns Although 57 per cent of the England football footballers, but also as prompts to kick-start and initiatives, and most importantly buy-in team is black, we still only have eight black thinking about how football can rid itself of from professional clubs, their players and their managers in the whole of the English football homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. managers, LGBT exclusion and sexism can league. become history. LGBT exclusion isn’t a problem faced only in On top of this, gender equality remains a sport; it’s an issue sewn into the fabric of wider massive problem. According to a recent article society. One in five 18 to 24-year-olds say To get involved in making sport everyone’s in the Manchester Evening News, ‘England they’d be embarrassed if their favourite player game, join our Rainbow Laces campaign at Women’s captain Steph Houghton receives came out. We must do something about this. www.stonewall.org.uk/sport

8 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | JACK BADU: SPORT AND RAINBOW LACES FRIENDS | BEN SMITH: 401 CHALLENGE

BEN SMITH: 401 CHALLENGE

On 5 October, Ben Smith, one Ben has been Stonewall’s biggest individual fundraiser to date and the money he has of our amazing supporters, raised will allow us to greatly extend our reach WHAT YOUR was joined by hundreds of into schools and communities. He explained: runners in Bristol as he took the ‘Stonewall has done a lot for me; a lot I didn’t even realise. They allow me the freedom to love MONEY CAN DO final steps of his epic journey: the person I want to love and be the person I running 401 marathons in 401 want to be.’ £20 Sends an days, and raising over £304,000 Ruth Hunt said: ‘The impact of homophobic, anti-homophobic, biphobic and for Stonewall and anti-bullying biphobic and transphobic bullying at school transphobic language resource continues well into adult life. At Stonewall charity Kidscape. we know that people accomplish more when pack to schools. they can be themselves and what Ben has Over the course of his challenge, Ben visited accomplished is amazing and inspirational. over a hundred schools to speak to thousands Could send a teacher on of students about his experiences of being ‘Ben is a fantastic role model for young people £50 bullied. He was also joined by over 8,000 other across Britain. His incredible fundraising efforts one of our seminars to learn how to runners along the way. will allow us to continue our work with schools, support young LGBT people. ensuring that all young people are able to The 34 year old from Portishead in Bristol was learn in a safe space, where they are accepted subjected to relentless homophobic bullying without exception. We’re so grateful to Ben for Allows us to answer 100 and verbal and physical abuse between the £500 everything he has done to support Stonewall calls from young LGBT people via ages of 10 and 18. He twice tried to take his through his monumental challenge.’ own life. our free Information Service. How can you help us to change the lives of Starting to run gave Ben enormous confidence. LGBT people, so that everyone feels free to His self-esteem and relationships with family be who they are, wherever they are? Enables us to host and friends improved dramatically, and he found £1,500 the confidence to come out to his parents. He If Ben’s story has inspired you to take on your international activists on learning said: ‘I am completely different to who I was own challenge in support of Stonewall, you exchange visits, positively impacting four years ago: 100% congruent, 100% happy can find ideas and inspiration at LGBT people around the world. and at peace.’ www.stonewall.org.uk/fundraise

THERE ARE MANY WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT STONEWALL. HERE ARE JUST A FEW STORIES FROM SOME OF THE AMAZING PEOPLE WHO HAVE RECENTLY FUNDRAISED FOR US:

Matt raised £2,600 by taking part Shalina and Jo raised £425 each Earlsmead Primary School raised in the London Marathon. by doing a sponsored skydive. £110 with a Rainbow Laces ‘A lot of people cry at the end of the marathon, ‘The importance of Stonewall’s message is lace-up day. and I can honestly say only a small part of that undeniable and scaring ourselves silly for ‘After hearing about the Stonewall campaign, will account for the relief and self-achievement money seemed to be the best way we could our staff wore Rainbow Laces at school and of completing such a mammoth physical help Stonewall to continue building the kind of fundraised for the day. The students were very undertaking… the rest will be because you world we’d like to live in. The jump itself was an inquisitive and staff explained why we were know you’re helping to change minds and lives incredible experience and we would recommend wearing them and spoke about issues affecting of people who were otherwise ignorant to what it to anyone. Where better to wear your rainbow LGBT students.’ LGBT people have fought for in order to achieve laces than 12,000 feet up in the sky?’ equality. Then they will know that Stonewall is a lifesaving charity.’

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 9 FRIENDS | JONNY BENJAMIN

JONNY BENJAMIN

Jonny Benjamin is an award- form of schizophrenia and endured a lengthy stay workshop, ThinkWell, which visits secondary in a psychiatric unit. schools to create a conversation about mental winning mental health illness in the classroom. We use creative writing, Eventually I recovered, but it was a long time until campaigner, film producer, public drawing and discussion to start the dialogue I actually came out to friends and family about within the workshop. More often than not, the speaker, writer and vlogger from both my mental illness and my sexuality. It took issue of LGBT mental health is discussed. London. He spoke to us about a failed suicide attempt followed by years of therapy to truly accept my identity. Our aim is to reduce the stigma and shame around his own story and mental health it. We also come in with a trained therapist to give Today, I’m in a very different place. I still struggle, issues in the LGBT community. pupils someone to talk to if they need to, while but finally embracing my sexuality, alongside my also highlighting other places of support outside Jewish faith, ultimately changed my life for the I’ll never forget my older brother finding a of school at the end of the workshop. screensaver filled with pictures of Madonna on my better. I am now a mental health campaigner, and computer at the age of 17. I immediately burned one of the areas I am most passionate about is The primary message of ThinkWell is to talk. It bright red with embarrassment and denied I was raising awareness of mental health issues. This was talking about my mental health and sexuality a fan of hers, stating that a friend had done it as includes working to reduce the suicide rate within that was key to my recovery. But it is not just ‘a joke.’ the LGBT community. those who are experiencing difficulties that need There is a much higher prevalence of mental illness to talk. We must all begin talking more about In reality though, I was a big fan of Madonna, but mental health - in classrooms, workplaces and her reputation as a gay icon led me to desperately within the community. Suicide is an even bigger problem yet something that is so rarely addressed. within our homes. If we do, it may potentially save worry for a long time afterward that my secret someone’s life. identity might have been revealed. Rates of self-harm and suicide are far higher amongst the LGBT population and this urgently I’ve always admired the support for and within the Since the age of 10 I had been hiding and denying requires action. However, in recent months we’ve LGBT community. The unified response after the that I was gay. It was around the same time that seen the closure of LGBT specific mental health Orlando tragedy this summer is a prime example of my mental health issues also began. I was hearing services like PACE, which should give us even this. We also need to come together in support of a voice in my head, and also believed I was being greater cause for concern. Mental health is an issue those in the community who face the daily battle of filmed and broadcast on television worldwide in we have to join together to tackle. living with a mental illness or suicidal thoughts. my own version of the Jim Carrey film The Truman My current work takes me from government Research published this year by the London School Show. meetings to events with the younger members of of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, based on data At 16 I started experiencing severely low moods the Royal Family. I will always speak to people collected with Stonewall, revealed that young gay that I now know was depression. I tried my hardest about these issues, but my voice is only one. This and bisexual men are now six times more likely to to make sure this aspect of my life, as well as my is why organisations like Stonewall are so vital kill themselves than older men. It’s a terribly sad sexuality, was hidden at all times. As I write this in speaking up for the LGBT community. I’m really statistic. And one that should act as a wake up now, I wonder how I managed to hide it for so pleased to have been working with them this year call to all of us to finally break the taboo of mental long? More than anything else, I feel incredibly sad in various ways around this important issue. health and suicide within the LGBT community. to think that other young people might be going I really believe we can reduce the suffering that We will soon be conducting research on through exactly the same as I did today. LGBT individuals struggling with their mental the experiences of LGBT people across health face. Too often, this suffering happens in I carried on concealing myself until the age of 20, Britain, including a focus on mental health silence. I also believe we can reduce the suicide when I suffered a major breakdown and became issues. Look out for our report in 2017. rate within our community. psychotic. I ended up in the middle of a dual If you want help finding support for carriageway believing I was possessed by the Personally, I think this work needs to begin in mental health issues, you can contact our devil. Later I was sectioned, diagnosed with a schools. This year I launched a mental health Information Service on 08000 50 20 20

10 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | CANDACE CHAN

CANDACE CHAN

Candace took part in our Bi Role but the bi erasure from other people, gay or to have met other bisexual people who were straight, and the self-denial are both definitely married to straight (or bi) partners, and some even Models Programme, a one-day there. I am sure every bi person has a story had children and were battling to stay visible programme that empowers about how they’ve been told ‘it’s just a phase’ every day. or ‘oh I understand, I’ve got gay friends who people to create change in their I have to admit when I joined the programme think they’re bi too.’ And when you go out on my motive was mostly selfish - I wanted community. She told us about a girls night with people you met at Pride, and someone to tell me it’s okay to be bi, and show they start sharing stories of their bad romances, her own story and the impact the me how to love myself. But coming out of the or when someone starts referring to your group programme had on her. programme I was so moved by its inclusivity, collectively as ‘the lesbians,’ would you keep and I wanted to help recreate safe spaces like your mouth shut or stand up and say ‘actually, I grew up in Hong Kong. Same-sex marriage this in everyday life. Despite my vulnerability I’m bisexual’? is still illegal there, sex is a taboo and a lot and shortcomings, I wanted to be a role model of my queer friends have no intention of ever As a bi woman married to a straight white man, for other bi people out there who are too scared coming out to their family. Being LGBT+ is just and an immigrant from Asia, I tended to opt to come out. not something you talk about. The absence for silence when situations like these arose. of openness and role models to look up to At the end of the programme we were asked to I thought it would make things easier, given I has meant that I spent years exploring and make a list of things we would do as a bi role already have all these labels I need to defend questioning myself, before finally identifying model. As a baby in bi activism I wrote a very on a daily basis. There are just too many battles as bisexual when I was 21. There wasn’t an long list, the first item being coming out to my to fight - I have only just begun to accept that urgency for me to come out - as a femme family; the next being nominating myself to be I belong in this country. But deep down I know presenting woman in an exclusive relationship my company’s bi representative. I have since the feeling of shame and fear of being ‘exposed with a man, it was easy for me to pass as then come out to my mum. It was honestly the as a fraud’ was eating away at my spirit, to straight and no one would ask even if they best feeling in the world to finally be able to be the point where I even considered not getting thought otherwise. honest with myself and know that I no longer involved in LGBT+ work because I’d never have to self-censor in front of my family and Five years ago, I relocated to London. Being belong. friends. And it certainly pays to be visible - one in a more progressive city, I jumped at the And then one day I stumbled across the Bi Role of my close friends recently confided in me that opportunity to volunteer for various LGBT+ Models programme on the Stonewall website. she began dating a girl for the first time in her organisations and pride parades. As I got Reading about all the unique challenges bi people life, and she was trying to figure out how to more and more involved, a sense of unease face in everyday life, my eyes began to well up. come out to her family. started creeping up on me, telling me I did not Maybe I’m not the only one going through this, belong. People at these events would assume As an ethnic minority here I cannot stress and maybe I could meet like-minded people I was a lesbian and I was worried that I would enough the importance of intersectional who could show me the way? No words could say something that would ‘give me away’ as activism, because there is so much diversity describe my excitement when I found out I was bisexual. Looking back I realise how silly it is, in the LGBT+ community and, as a result, we accepted on to the programme. While I was but back then I was embarrassed by the fact all have so much to offer. I hope Stonewall can nervous going into training (and still worried that that I am married to a straight man. I felt like continue to provide this invaluable opportunity I was not a good enough ‘bi’), the openness of people would see me as an outsider and even for bi people to connect and learn how to make the space and the complete absence of judgment worse, a fraud. It was a double whammy - to this world a more accepting and colourful place. put me at ease. For the first time I was able to straight people, I’m not gay enough; to LGBT+ tell people about my experience and insecurities, If you’re interested in attending one of people, I’m not queer enough. and the participants and facilitators would our personal development programmes, I am fortunate enough to say that I have not either sympathise or, better yet, challenge the visit www.stonewall.org.uk/get-involved/ experienced any biphobia directed at me, foundations of my self-doubt. I was very grateful individuals-and-communities

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 11 FRIENDS | #BYYOURSIDE AT PRIDE

#BYYOURSIDE AT PRIDE 1 At Stonewall we know there is still With #ByYourSide we want to unite all LGBT marched with us. 6,500 had conversations people and allies to work together to achieve with us. And 2,200 people signed up to be a long way to go before we can change. We’ll do this by empowering people to campaigners. We’re stronger when we work say that everyone, everywhere organise and lead campaigns for LGBT equality together. is free to be themselves. In in their communities. And this year we started We’re already excited about planning next at Pride celebrations across the country. year’s Pride programme, and we’d love your communities across Britain and We went to 25 Prides this year – more than input. Were there any great Prides you attended around the world many LGBT ever before. From North Wales to Brighton, Hull you think we should go to? Would you like to volunteer with Stonewall next year and help us people feel isolated and excluded. to Glasgow, cobbled streets to tents in fields. We met thousands of LGBT people and allies, reach even more people? We know that change is achieved when it’s led many at their very first Pride and delighted to be Email [email protected]. We’d love to by people within their own communities. That’s part of a larger LGBT community. hear your thoughts. Or if you want to learn more about campaigning with Stonewall, sign up at why on International Day Against Homophobia, We held Youth Pride events in Manchester and www.stonewall.org.uk/campaigners Biphobia and Transphobia (IDAHOBiT) this year, London with 245 young LGBT people coming to we launched our new campaign: #ByYourSide. workshops and marching with us. 800 people

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KEY: 1. LONDON PRIDE - 2. MANCHESTER PRIDE - 3. LIVERPOOL PRIDE - 4. NEWCASTLE PRIDE - 5. TRANS PRIDE - 6. BRIGHTON PRIDE - 7. HULL PRIDE - 8. UK BLACK PRIDE - 9. BIRMINGHAM PRIDE - 10. PRIDE GLASGOW - 11. READING PRIDE - 12. SPARKLE MANCHESTER - 13. CUMBRIA PRIDE - 14. NORTH WALES PRIDE - 15. EDINBURGH PRIDE 12 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | #BYYOURSIDE AT PRIDE

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Winter 2016 Friends magazine 13 FRIENDS | NO SAFE REFUGE

‘I see things in the detention centre that are not right. I don’t care where we are from, what we do and how badly they want to get us out of their country. You don’t do certain things to people. We are human beings. We are not animals. The staff looked at me like I was a disease.’ BRIANNA, JAMAICAN ASYLUM SEEKER ‘The guy grabbed me saying he’s going to break my soul. I had to press the buzzer. I can’t stay in this place. The officer that came down said there’s nothing he can do. We had to deal with it. That was another nightmare for me.’ ACHEBE, NIGERIAN ASYLUM SEEKER ‘When I was in detention my life completely changed. If I had the chance I would have committed suicide in detention.’ MUKASA, UGANDAN REFUGEE

14 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | NO SAFE REFUGE

NO SAFE REFUGE In many countries lesbian, gay, bi or trans people face significant levels of violence and discrimination. In 72 countries sex with someone of the same sex is still illegal, and in some of those countries, people face the death penalty because of who they love.

We know that our goal of achieving acceptance clearly upsetting memories and experiences in the With your support, we’re working with without exception for everyone, whoever they hope that it will create change. international activists so that people do not are, wherever they are, is going to be difficult, have to live with the daily threat of violence and and it will take time. Unfortunately, before that ‘At Stonewall we’re working with international discrimination. We provide training to human time there will continue to be victims of state-led activists to help fight for equality in their countries rights defenders, we campaign to raise awareness persecution who have to escape their countries. so that people aren’t rejected from their families, about the situation for LGBT people around the or unwelcome in their own communities. But world, we push government and institutions to Sadly, our new research No Safe Refuge, before this happens, people will continue to be defend LGBT human rights worldwide, and we produced in collaboration with UK Lesbian and victims of discrimination and will continue to seek work with the International Development sector Gay Immigration Group (UKLGIG), shows that for sanctuary. We must ensure that those who come to ensure that LGBT people are not left behind in many the UK offers little respite. to us looking for help are accepted for who they development programmes. are, and that we are helping them to live happy We conducted 22 in-depth interviews with But while LGBT people are forced to seek asylum, and free lives.’ LGBT asylum seekers who have been held in UK we urgently need to address the system in the detention centres about their experiences with Paul Dillane, Executive Director at UKLGIG, said: UK that’s meant to support them. That means staff, other detainees, their physical and emotional ‘Our research finds that LGBT asylum seekers are the Home Office working with civil society well-being in detention and access to legal and particularly vulnerable in immigration detention organisations, advocates and other influencers like health services. and face significant disadvantages and dangers. the All Party Parliamentary Group on Global LGBT In detention they experience discrimination, rights to address the serious concerns raised in We found that UK detention offers little sanctuary this report. We need to ensure that when LGBT harassment and violence from other detainees and from homophobic, biphobic and transphobic people reach the UK they are finally free to be from members of staff. The detention environment abuse. LGBT detainees are often denied access themselves. to medication, such as HIV drugs and anti- has serious long-term effects on their mental and depressants. And staff are ill-equipped to meet physical well-being. the needs of LGBT people or to protect them from harassment from fellow detainees. ‘Seeking asylum is not a crime, it is a right enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human One interviewee, a Ugandan asylum seeker, said: Rights and yet over the past 20 years the scale ‘It felt like I was betrayed because if somebody of immigration detention in the UK has expanded seeks asylum, they’re just trying to get some rapidly. Until last year the UK was alone in Europe protection, but then you’re detaining them. It’s like in operating the Detained Fast Track, a large-scale you’re putting them in prison for having come to detained process where asylum claims were you for help. It didn’t make sense to me.’ determined on a highly accelerated basis in a NO SAFE matter of days. Many of the LGBT asylum seekers have also REFUGE suffered rape and torture in their country of origin, ‘The UK has one of the largest detention estates Experiences of yet they are still detained, despite the Home Office in Europe and detains more migrants and LGBT asylum agreeing that people who have suffered such asylum seekers than the vast majority of other seekers in detention abuse should not be placed in detention. countries. Shockingly, it is alone in detaining Ruth Hunt said: ‘Without doubt, the way the them indefinitely. In July 2015, the High Court asylum system deals with people who are found that the process was ‘systemically unfair persecuted for their sexual orientation and gender and unlawful’. However, the UK Government has identity has improved since we released our 2010 consistently stated its intention to introduce a report, No Going Back. Yet there is still significant new detained procedure. work for the Home Office to do to improve the

‘The UK is a country that proudly seeks to NO SAFE REFUGE 1 lives and experiences of LGBT people, and to improve conditions in detention centres in general. promote human rights including those of LGBT people on the world stage yet it has for too long You can read our eight recommendations, ‘To create this report we had to rely on the bravery detained those who flee to our shores in search and the rest of the report, at of individuals who were willing to speak out and of sanctuary. In order to ensure LGBT refugees www.stonewall.org.uk/resources/no-safe- we are eternally grateful to them. They have are respected and protected, the use of indefinite refuge-2016 shown true courage in sharing with us what are immigration detention must end.’

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 15 FRIENDS | LEO & HAYLEY

LEO & HAYLEY

Leo Waddell is a trans boy who I was bullied in and out of school by students, to do some research on the internet and found staff, parents and my classmates. I was so out he could possibly be transgender. was assigned female but knew depressed I would sit alone and just cry. They Through some friends, we met with a man from a very young age that his were the worst days of my life. who had transitioned. He explained that my body didn’t fit his gender identity. Then my sister found a trans group called Press ‘daughter’ was transgender and the best way At 12 he began taking hormone for Change. They contacted my school to tell to support him would be to start using male blockers and now at 15, is them they must call me Leo and ‘he’. It was pronouns and his preferred name. This was great. It meant I could go in and do my SATs and difficult at first. We all struggled and it felt preparing to take testosterone to be happy. like I was doing something wrong, but as time passed, I could see Leo becoming much happier. continue his puberty as male. I always had a group of good friends. My best mate Eve got in trouble for correcting the I spoke to his head teacher in the hope of We heard from Leo and his mum teacher when she called me Lily. My mum and getting some support but she refused to discuss Hayley about the importance my family have been so supportive. Some took the matter. She told Leo not to be silly; that if longer than others but I adore them all. he were a boy he wouldn’t be cuddled up to his of acceptance for young trans mum crying. She said I should see our GP, which people. I was one of the youngest people to receive I did, but she’d never heard of anything like this hormone blockers. They were the greatest before and told me that my daughter would things ever and they made me so happy! And probably grow up to be a lesbian. in 2014 I got the chance to make my own LEO documentary. I finally got to tell my story and On his 11th birthday, I changed his name by help other people in my situation. deed poll. Leo was over the moon. People always said to me and mum, ‘You’re too I have no doubt other parents were talking We’re all humans. We all deserve to have young to know what you want.’ But that wasn’t about me behind my back. It was very difficult acceptance. I am proud of being trans. I’m true. Since as far back as I can remember, and my confidence was knocked by the proud of my gender and I want every other trans I knew 100 per cent that I was different. I professionals who told me I was wrong. I now person to look at themselves and think ‘I’m didn’t know what ‘transgender’ meant, but I know that I did absolutely the right thing in proud of who I am.’ Yes I’ve had rubbish in my knew I was a boy. When I did find out what supporting my child’s transition. transgender meant my mum and I knew that life, but it’s all made me the person I am today. was me. That’s how I feel. I want to make it so that It is so important to listen to your child and every trans person can be like that. believe what they tell you. So many children We met an amazing trans man called Aedan have very unhappy childhoods because nobody and he changed my life. Meeting him made listens. The work that Stonewall does is so me feel like I wasn’t a freak or a weirdo. There important because without education and were others like me and I wasn’t alone. He told HAYLEY support, so many more trans children would mum she should use male pronouns and call me suffer because of ignorance. by my male name, and that’s what she did. On When Leo first told me around age five that he my 11th birthday she changed my name legally was a boy, I really didn’t know what I could do Always support your child. Listen to them. They – the best day of my life. to support him other than allow him to wear know who they truly are. Love them for who boy’s clothes and have his hair cut short. I’d they are and don’t criticise or condemn. Always Mum and I took the deed poll to my head never heard the word ‘transgender’ so had no fight their corner. teacher and she said she would sort it out. It idea that he could transition. wasn’t the case. She decided to make my life To find out more about our work for hell for the next year. She would make all the By the age of nine Leo had become depressed trans equality, visit teachers call me ‘Lily’ and ‘she’. She would take and frustrated at being referred to as a girl all www.stonewall.org.uk/trans me out of class to call me a girl. the time. I could see he was hurting so I started

16 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | LEO & HAYLEY MAKE SPORT EVERYONE’S GAME.

Get involved, and let’s stand together to change attitudes in sport. www.stonewall.org.uk/sport

#rainbowlaces Supported by FRIENDS | GLOBAL DIVERSITY CHAMPIONS

GLOBAL DIVERSITY CHAMPIONS

Through our Global Diversity Stonewall helps employers improve their global policies so they can support their staff in any BRAZIL Champions programme, location. We also help local teams carry out positive Stonewall works with over changes in the workplace that are suitable for their ‘While the government does enact laws and 100 international employers. region. As part of this we produce Global Workplace policies promoting LGBT equality, these laws Briefings. Each briefing looks at a specific country are often not implemented meaningfully and These employers are committed and advises organisations on how to champion LGBT discrimination against LGBT people persists. to making their workplaces equality in their workplace and beyond. There is a real need to bring about a cultural change concerning the perception of gender supportive environments for The briefings look at the legal situation affecting identity and sexual orientation. However, Brazil LGBT staff wherever they are. lesbian, gay, bi and trans people. Interviews with is a huge country, with a very diverse population Stonewall helps them to navigate LGBT organisations also give an overview of the and massive social and economic inequalities. The lived situation for LGBT people in the specific challenges that LGBT face can therefore vary.’ a global situation that can country. Finally, the briefings showcase great ideas ANA LETÍCIA MAFRA SALLA AND GABRIELA be complex and challenging. about how to improve workplaces from our Global SANTOS FROM ETHOS INSTITUTE For example, there are many Diversity Champions. countries where LGBT people can So far 10 briefings have been released, covering be fired for being who they are. countries from China to Italy. Another 12 will be CHINA released in December this year, looking at countries ‘LGBT people are invisible and neglected in In more than 70 countries, sexual from Kenya to Belgium. society, mainly because of the serious lack of acts between people of the same education and awareness about sexual orientation On these pages you hear directly from the national and gender identity in schools, workplaces and sex are illegal. In 10, you can face LGBT organisations who worked with us on this other public spheres. This leads to many LGBT project. To read their full interviews and the rest of the death penalty. people being closeted their whole lives. However, the briefings, please visit for younger generations the social mobility and www.stonewall.org.uk/briefings. access to information that the internet provides is changing the conversation quickly.’ If you work for a multinational company, share these briefings with your HR teams and ask them JACOB HUANG, CORPORATE PROGRAMMES what they are doing to ensure LGBT people are DIRECTOR AT AIBAI CULTURE AND safe and protected from discrimination. Stonewall EDUCATION CENTRE are here to help.

18 Friends magazine Winter 2016 FRIENDS | GLOBAL DIVERSITY CHAMPIONS

HONG KONG ITALY SINGAPORE ‘Sexual orientation and gender identity are ‘The lack of any legislation recognising same ‘Section 377 A of the Criminal Code directly generally perceived as sensitive or even taboo sex partnerships in the past … is now changing. targets gay and bisexual men by criminalising subjects. In the absence of clear legal protection, The new Civil Union law, for the first time in sexual acts between men. This law is rarely discrimination and unfair treatment against history, legitimises and regularises same sex enforced in practice, but it acts as a serious LGBT individuals is commonplace. However the partnerships. Bisexuality is largely off the radar. barrier to progression … [and also affects] the findings of the Hong Kong LGBT Climate Study Lesbians lack visibility and public recognition. LGBT community as a whole. For instance, health 2011/12 indicated that Hong Kong people, Until very recently, the representation of services and campaigns tailored to the needs of especially younger generations, are far more the LGBT community [in the media] was homosexual and bisexual people are not allowed, accepting and ready for change than previously either non-existent or limited to humorous as they would ‘promote’ sex between men. assumed.’ characterisations. This has somewhat changed In education, teachers are not trained how to FERN NGAI, CEO OF COMMUNITY BUSINESS over the past two years, with more serious and counsel and support LGBT students. The younger objective discussions about the LGBT community generation … are increasingly informed about in the press and in TV debates.’ LGBT issues. While people are progressing and INDIA IGOR SURAN, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF attitudes are changing, laws remain intransigent.’ PARKS AT LIBERI E UGUALI PAERIN CHOA, SINGAPOREAN LAWYER AND ‘[The law against sexual acts between people of SPOKESPERSON OF PINK DOT SG the same sex] has rarely been enforced because the police find it a hard law to implement. But the fear of the law and lack of other protections RUSSIA makes gay men in particular vulnerable to ‘The [LGBT Propaganda Law] legitimises violence SOUTH AFRICA extortion and blackmail by gangs. [As for against LGBT organisations and individuals in ‘South Africa’s strong legal protections for women,] there is a huge degree of pressure on both public and private spheres of life and makes LGBT people have had, and continue to have, a [them] to marry young and it is very unusual for LGBT people feel more vulnerable, more targeted hugely positive effect on society. However, the women to be open about their sexual orientation. and less protected. However, we have developed country’s overall transition has been slow due to On the whole lesbian and bisexual women are new allies as a result of the widespread violence a number of intersecting factors such as poverty, not understood and face issues of domestic and hate speech, which has created a heightened weak governance and a strongly conservative violence.’ awareness of the human rights abuses LGBT and religious culture. These factors continue to PALLAV PATANKAR, DIRECTOR OF HIV people suffer in Russia. The situation is definitely contribute to the fact that LGBT people may still PROGRAMMES AT THE HUMSAFAR TRUST worse for transgender people. They face the same suffer from higher levels of discrimination and problems as the LGB community but are far more exclusion.’ stigmatised by wider society.’ DAWIE NEL, DIRECTOR OF OUT SVETLANA ZAKHAROVA, COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER AT THE RUSSIAN LGBT NETWORK

Winter 2016 Friends magazine 19 FRIENDS | CHESHIRE FIRE AND RESCUE SERVICE

CHESHIRE FIRE AND RESCUE SERVICE

Stonewall works with over 700 set up events throughout the year. This summer, Youth Ambassador and fire cadet Ed Davy, who organisations across public, we were delighted to represent the Service at recently won a lecturette competition after Manchester and Chester Prides. giving a moving and insightful presentation on private and third sectors LGBT inclusion, said: The Service recently decommissioned its through our Diversity Champions well-known pink fire engine and redesigned ‘Being an LGBT Youth Ambassador for the programme. We help create it as an outreach vehicle. It now carries an Service has helped and supported me to be inclusive and accepting impressive rainbow livery as a visible signal of more confident and outgoing about my personal our commitment to LGBT equality and inclusion. identity. It’s also empowered me, as I’ve been environments for almost a quarter And our Fire Cadet Manager dyed her hair in given the opportunity to attend the 2015 and of the UK workforce. Cheshire Fire rainbow colours for Manchester Pride! 2016 Education for All Conferences, which were an amazing experience. and Rescue Service told us about This year we’ve been inspired by the success of ‘They gave me the skills and confidence to set our work with young LGBT people. Every year, some of the work they’ve been up my own equality and diversity steering group we work with hundreds of children and young doing with our support. in college, with the hope of making students people to deliver safety education, promote feel more included and accepted within the At Cheshire Fire and Rescue Service we’re citizenship and provide life chances they may school environment. This role will continue to passionate about supporting our LGBT not otherwise have. help me evolve as a person, and to assist the employees, volunteers and communities. That’s We want to improve the experience of young many other young LGBT people who I get to why we’ve been working with Stonewall as a LGBT people we work with and empower work with.’ Diversity Champion for nearly ten years. them to become champions for diversity and The young people we work with are our future We knew that if we wanted to support our inclusion. So we support three LGBT Youth firefighters and community safety staff. That’s LGBT communities, we first needed to show Ambassadors, who volunteer and attend why it’s so important that we’re working to give that we supported our LGBT staff. So we our meetings and events. Their ideas and them the confidence to become real champions entered Stonewall’s Workplace Equality Index enthusiasm have been incredible, and they’ve and agents for change, not only among their in 2010, reaching the giddy heights of 224th. By helped us remain relevant to young people and peers and colleagues but also within their 2016, we’d moved up to 13th and were the best change perceptions in the wider community. families and communities. performing emergency service. Our Youth Ambassadors have a big influence, They are changing perceptions of Cheshire This change didn’t happen overnight. It was the delivering LGBT-inclusive training for cadet Fire and Rescue Service and LGBT issues, and result of lots of hard work and commitment in leaders and youth engagement staff. The making Cheshire a better place for everyone. collaboration with Stonewall. Service recently supported them to attend To find out more about how your employer Central to this work is Firepride, our LGBT staff Stonewall’s Education for All Conference for could work with Stonewall, visit network, and Firepride (straight) Allies. The a second year. Once again, they came back www.stonewall.org.uk/workplace networks are extremely visible and active, and brimming with ideas for future activity.

20 Friends magazine Winter 2016

FRIENDS | OUR YEAR AHEAD OUR YEAR AHEAD Your support has had a huge impact this year. We wanted to share some of the key achievements we made, and some goals we want to reach with your continued support in the coming year. None of this is possible without fantastic supporters like you. From all of us at Stonewall, thank you.

EMPOWERING TRANSFORMING INDIVIDUALS INSTITUTIONS

1,027 people attended our This year, we’ll expand and run We worked with 742 organisations In the last year, we worked with personal empowerment two new programmes in Eastern through our Diversity Champions 1,721 schools through our School programmes in the last year – Europe and South East Europe. programme in the last year, Champions programme, and double the number from the year helping them create inclusive and trained 1,664 teachers through our before. This year, we aim to have Our School Role Models made 133 accepting workplaces. This year Train the Trainer programme. more than 2,000 attend. visits to schools in Britain in the we’ll continue to grow and work last year to inspire young LGBT with more DCs and Global DCs. Our training reached an average 28 volunteers spent 2,304 people and allies in school. This of 26,840 education staff. This hours helping LGBT people who year, we’ll train 60 new School We worked with 100 international year we’ll train 20 new Training contacted our Information Service Role Models in England, 10 in businesses through our Global Partners to increase our reach, in the last year. This year we’ll Scotland and 10 in Wales. Diversity Champions programme. and we’ll expand to support 500 recruit 30 more volunteers to This year we’ll continue to faith schools. respond to enquiries. This year we’ll be empowering expand the programme and work 80 young people to campaign for with our Global DCs to support In the last year we worked with over equality and inclusion in their schools LGBT people in all their global 100 LGBT rights organisations from through our Young Campaigner communities. 70 countries, and trained 15 LGBT programmes. That’s double the human rights defenders from Russia. number from last year.

CHANGING HEARTS CHANGING AND MINDS LAWS

We engaged with 237 LGBT This year we will launch our 116 parliamentary candidates In the last year, we raised 21 community groups in the last year state-of-the-nation research to signed up to Stonewall Scotland’s specific concerns with the Foreign on how we can support them to outline the challenges facing LGBT election manifesto in 2016, Office about LGBT human rights change hearts and minds in their communities. We will also launch including all party leaders and 47 violations abroad. area. This year we’re rolling out the 2017 School Report to inform elected MSPs. our By Your Side campaign to more our education campaigning. We’ve launched our new research community partners than ever. We responded to 48 government into LGBT people in immigration This year we’ll support bi and consultations across Britain in the detention. This year we’ll lobby the We sent out 36,000 pairs of trans communities and ensure last year. This year, we’ll work in a Home Office to improve the quality Rainbow Laces in the last year to their voices and experiences changing political environment to of decision making on LGBT asylum supporters who helped promote are heard. And we’ll support ensure LGBT rights remain firmly claims and to ensure that LGBT the campaign. This year we are marginalised communities such as on the political agenda. people are no longer detained. kicking off a new three-year the Gypsy Traveller community and strategy to eliminate homophobia, the LGBT disabled community. We recruited our new Trans This year we will campaign and lobby on biphobia and transphobia in sport, Advisory Group in the last year. key issues including conversion therapy, at a national and grassroots level. This year they will work with sex and relationships education (SRE), Stonewall to campaign to secure personal, social and health education equality for trans people. (PSHE), and blood donation.

22 Friends magazine Winter 2016 20% OFF ALL ITEMS* in the Stonewall shop, exclusively for readers of Friends * Excludes virtual gifts, donations and sale items

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