Jack Kay, 88 - Washington Jewish Week - Online Edition - Rockville, MD Page 1 of 3

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4/24/2013 3:01:00 PM Jack Kay, 88

by Meredith Jacobs Managing Editor

The D.C. community lost a lion as Jack Kay quietly passed away on Sunday, April 21 at age LOGIN | SUBSCRIBE 88. Advanced Search He was a private man, but there are few, if any, who haven't been touched in some way by Kay's search... immense contributions. "Be wise not only in words but in deeds," reads the inscription on his father Abe's grave, but it just as easily could describe Jack Kay. And perhaps there is no more fitting tribute than to describe him as his father was described, as he dedicated his life to continuing his parents' legacy.

One cannot speak of Kay without first devoting time to his parents. Abraham and Minnie Kay began married life with $6 in their pockets and a Family photo of Abe and Minnie Kay with son Jack and daughter $300 loan from friends to open a grocery store. Sylvia, ca. 1941. Daughter Sylvia was followed by son, Jack. The advertisement children attended Sunday school at the Jewish Photo courtesy of the Jewish Historical Society of Greater Washington Community Center in the District and the family worshipped at Adas Israel Congregation at Sixth and I streets. Hoping to discourage his son from going into the grocery business, Kay never allowed Jack to work the store. After organizing the District Grocery Society (later known as District Grocery Stores), Abe Kay began building apartments and houses in D.C. and later in Silver Spring as one of the first to see potential in suburban living.

Born in Dolhinov, Kay is credited with being instrumental in saving an entire yeshiva by helping it move from Russia to Japan and eventually to China, making it the only yeshiva in Eastern Europe not annihilated by the Nazis. Kay and his circle of friends worked to aid the Haganah in Israel and was part of the group that purchased the "Exodus."

"His parents imbued him with a sense of tzedakah and community," said Laura Apelbaum, executive director of the Jewish Historical Society of Greater Washington. This circle of friends and family took responsibility in building and caring for the community both here and in Israel. "His parents' house was a gathering place. Jack described them as 'that exciting generation' - he wanted the Historical Society to write about them." It was Apelbaum who described Jack Kay as a "lion" - as one who fiercely protects his family and his community.

"I've been thinking about it," she said. "We're losing our lions. He was one of those types who gave very broadly. I think he had a real sense of how everything was interconnected in the community. Through his giving, he sort of put Jack Kay, ‘a lion’ of the Jewish community, passed away on Sunday. these various organizations in touch with each Photo courtesy of Jewish Federation of Greater Washington other. He was very cognizant of his family's legacy and the legacy of his parents."

Apelbaum describes working with Kay as "old school." One had to visit him, talk about life - for Kay, there was a premium placed on relationships.

Much is said about the relationship Kay had with his beloved first wife, Ina, who passed away in 2002. They married when Kay was only 21, and, much like his parents' beginnings, had 10 cents in his pocket when they returned from their honeymoon. They had two daughters, Lauren and Shelley.

With tireless work, persistence and Ina by his side, he built hundreds of homes and apartment projects in Montgomery and Prince George's counties, later focusing on property management through Kay Management Company. http://washingtonjewishweek.com/main.asp?SectionID=4&SubSectionID=4&ArticleID=19212 4/25/2013 Jack Kay, 88 - Washington Jewish Week - Online Edition - Rockville, MD Page 2 of 3

In the January/February 1989 Apartment & Office Management News' cover story "Jack Kay and the evolution of the Kay Management Company," Kay is portrayed as tough but fair.

"Let me put it this way: when I went to work for him people said I wouldn't last 90 days," Paul Yentis, then vice president of Kay Management Company is quoted as saying. "That was more than 20 years ago. He doesn't like excuses. He just wants to get things done. He pushes, and he's not modest about it. He expects the best, he expects 110 percent."

This straightforward, no-nonsense description was echoed by Rabbi Gil Steinlauf during his eulogy Tuesday afternoon, given, appropriately enough, in Kay Hall at Adas Israel Congregation. "I remember the first time I met Jack," Steinlauf said about the first board meeting. "[Jack] was having a spirited discussion with one of our lay leaders. He was strong, even stern in his tone. His words were clear and forceful. ... I remember thinking to myself, this man was clearly a force to be reckoned with. In the next moment, the lay leader stood and introduced me to Jack Kay. Jack suddenly turned, looked up at me, and I'll never forget how his clear blue eyes suddenly twinkled as a devilish, mischievous and yet totally warm and welcoming smile spread across his face."

The rabbi continued, "I had indeed met Jack Kay in that moment: yes, a force to be reckoned with. A man who didn't suffer fools lightly. A man of passion and strength. But also, a man of deep warmth, with a spark of indomitable life and joy and humor and caring, true and real caring and dedication; a man who, no matter what would always be there for you."

Stuart Kurlander, president of The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington agreed, "Jack was engaging, probing. He asked very often tough questions. He wanted to know and understand. And then there was his soft side."

Kurlander spoke of Kay, a past president of Federation, and his engagement with the Greater Washington community, even during his later years when he was shuttling back and forth between Maryland and Florida. He always wanted to know what was going on.

"I met him once at one of the country clubs in Palm Beach," Kurlander said. "I sat with him for lunch and he gave me one of the best educations on the history of our community." As someone who has taken a leadership role in the community but is not from the Greater Washington area, Kurlander has read extensively about the history, but Kay, "gave me a full history, through his eyes, of our community. He talked about his father and many other people. He talked more about others than himself. He was that type of person."

"Wherever I looked, Jack had been there," said Federation past president Phyllis Margolius, who met Kay when she took a leadership role in the Federation in the early 1980s. "Eventually I became president, Jack had been president. Eventually I chaired the Endowment Fund, Jack had chaired the Endowment Fund. There was hardly a major community campaign that he wasn't part of the leadership."

"He was generous and warm and cared deeply not just about the Jewish community but individual Jews in the community," she continued. "He did things quietly when he could, and publicly when he could be a role model. I can't think of anyone who didn't like Jack. People wanted to be part of what Jack was part of. If Jack was part of your organization, you knew people would be attracted to you."

Joshua Bernstein, CEO of Bernstein Management Corporation and vice president at large for the Federation, had known Kay, a friend of his parents, since he was a child but only recently begun to call him Jack. "He could be brusque at times and people were hesitant to get to know him. But he was a softy with an incredible sense of humor."

Bernstein, who regarded Kay as a mentor and a friend, believes he was "singularly, the most generous man in the community in ways both large and small." Indeed, Kay's generosity spanned the community - from helping to found the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum to sponsoring Adas Israel's confirmation class trip to Israel. "I don't think he ever said no to anything I asked of him," said Bernstein.

Most recently, Bernstein was quietly raising funds to allow the Federation to acquire a new building. Kay donated one and a half million dollars. "I said, 'Why are you making things so easy for me?' " Bernstein repeated while laughing at the memory. "He said, 'Why wouldn't I make things easy for you? You're doing great things for the community.' "

"He wanted to support the next generation of leaders," said Bernstein. "His shoes will not easily be filled."

Too numerous to list all, examples of his giving include Beit Kay in Israel, the Jewish Theological Seminary, Technion, Birthright, JFGH's Ina and Jack Kay Group Home, The Abraham S. and Jack Kay Chair in Israel Studies at the University of Maryland, the Jack and Ina Kay Hospice at Hadassah Hospital and the Kay Spiritual Life Center at American University.

Kay was to have attended the opening of the new 6,200 square foot unit for children and families with special needs in JSSA's Ina Kay Building. Kay donated the room in memory of his daughter, Shelley, who passed away in 2009. Shelley spoke of her father in the Apartment & Office Management News' article "Family comes first with him. It always has."

Margolius said the same, "How he found time I don't know, but he was a true family man."

He had a great respect for women. Bernstein spoke of how much he admired that in Kay, "He grew up in an era when spouses were removed from business and yet he talked about Ina as a full partner. When she died, he was devastated by that loss. In later years, he met Barbara. And he spoke of her with profound respect for her intellect and her accomplishments. He spoke about her with sincere pride."

"When Ina died in 2002, it was, of course devastating for him," said Steinlauf. "She had been the love of his life literally since his boyhood, his partner, always by his side, his strength, his happiness. It was such a struggle during that difficult time. And then, of course, we had to bury Shelley just a few years ago. I will never forget how touched I was by Jack's quiet dignity in grieving the unthinkable: the loss of a child."

"And then, of course, with the pain of loss, life has a way of finding the most beautiful ways of bringing blessing and healing as well," the rabbi continued. "With Barbara, Jack found a new beloved, a new kind and loving woman with a heart as generous and devoted as his. Through her loving-kindness, Jack found joy once again."

Jack Kay's final days were spent in the care of JSSA's hospice, a reminder of the cyclical nature of community - that those who support the community will at some moment in life find themselves recipients of support from the community. "I'm looking at a picture of him and his wife in my office," said JSSA CEO Ken Kozloff, who considered Kay a mentor. "Just such a great guy. Such a wonderful, wonderful guy."

Kay is survived by wife Barbara Kay and daughter Lauren Kay Pollin (Richard), stepchildren Susan Pertnoy (Ronnie), Nina Saslove (Joshua), and David Shulman (Jill), and sister Sylvia Greenberg. Kay is also survived by http://washingtonjewishweek.com/main.asp?SectionID=4&SubSectionID=4&ArticleID=19212 4/25/2013 Jack Kay, 88 - Washington Jewish Week - Online Edition - Rockville, MD Page 3 of 3

his grandchildren Julie Ann Michelina (Victor), Kennis Ann Hawkins, Alyssa Kay Perper and Sander Kay Hawkins; Jacob Pollin, Matthew Pollin and Nicole Policicchio; stepgrandchildren Alexandra (Eric), Samantha (Brenden), Harris (Michal), Brett, Michael, Whitney, Adam, Jacob, Amanda, Andrew, Sydney, Isabella, Jonathan, Alexander, Elijah, Charlotte, and stepgreat-grandchildren Payton, Rowan, William and Ella. He is predeceased by wife Ina Kay and daughter Shelley Kay (Al Policicchio). FEATURED JOBS

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