FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 – Keep the Cat Free – ISSUE 1687

The Student Newspaper of

NEWS

First wave of strikes come to an end PAGE 3 ARTS

It's about time for a Picnic at Hanging Rock

PAGE 16

FILM Imperial has one of the largest property portfolios among London universities // Imperial College London Imperial's property holdings revealed

NEWS of London universities for postgraduate students, buildings, such as the Mo- from rent from commer- and include a significant with prices up to £430/ lecular Sciences Research cial property increased to Our picks for this Fred Fyles amount of student ac- week. The College has Hub, which will cost an nearly £10 million. Editor-in-Chief commodation. Through been accused by some estimated £154.4 million, Overall, Imperial has year's Oscars' data obtained from postgraduates of aggres- Imperial has greatly increased the total fixed Ceremony freedom of information sively marketing GradPad increased its property assets it owns – a category Large property requests, as well as pub- at the expense of alter- investments. Last year it that includes freehold land PAGE 20 portfolios, rapid licly available records native housing options increased its holdings in and buildings, fittings, and expansion, and luxury and statements, Felix has accessible to all budgets. investment property by equipment – from £1.37 SPORTS found Imperial has large more than £60 million, billion to over £1.5 billion PG accommodation sums of money invested Imperial’s Expansion from £116.6 million to over the past academic – Felix investigates in property currently £179.1 million, largely year. This is one of the Imperial's property under construction, and Imperial has been through the acquisition of largest portfolios among holdings. has increased its proper- rapidly expanding over a large site in North Acton London universities – ty portfolio dramatically the past few years, with a currently used by Dixon equivalent to LSE, Queen mperial College over the past year. number of developments Carphone. Sales of invest- Mary’s University of Full coverage of London’s property Imperial owns driven by the move to ment property generated London, and St. Georges holdings are among GradPad, two blocks of White City. Alongside £6 million for the College the most extensive high-end accommodation the new educational last year, while income Cont. pg 5 PAGES 41-44 I

#voteicu

imperialcollegeunion.org/vote FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

EDITORIAL NEWS [email protected] CONTENTS EDITORIAL 2 Elections are upon us First five days of strikes end with Imperial calling for NEWS 3-7 les – Felix E COMMENT 8-10 o, we’ve made it. Fy dit have said holding onto As my Facebook ed or anger is like holding onto The Felix Team review of UUK changes Fr SCIENCE 11-12 timehop helpful- a hot coal, but perhaps in ly reminded me this current weather that’s Editor-in-Chief NEWS proposals. In a statement TECH 13-14 Sthe other day, it has been exactly what is required. Fred Fyles for Felix, a College rep- • a full year since I start- Plus I don’t think the Deputy Editor Fred Fyles resentative said: “recog- ARTS 15-16 ed plastering my face Buddha ever had to deal Joanna Wormald Editor-in-Chief nising that this work may around campus in an with the Fusion price • take time and go beyond BOOKS 17-18 effort to have the chance increase, so I’d take the News Editor the statutory deadline for to plaster this paper advice with a pinch of Joanna Wormald Imperial shift position changes to be introduced, FILM 20-21 • around campus instead. salt. Politics Editors as lecturers and and if asked to do so, the MUSIC 25-28 I can’t say I look back Avirup Banerjee support staff walkCollege has pledged to on those two weeks of The sabbatical roles Divyen Vanniasegaram out for five days, with carry its share of the risk GAMES 29 electioneering fondly; in aren’t ones you can • of staying on the current fact, they were probably do adequately without Comment Editors strikes set to continue. scheme while this work is Alan Perfect TRAVEL 30-31 two of the most stressful at least a modicum of Charlie Titmuss completed.” weeks I’ve experienced passion for the job; after • mperial College This week saw the FOOD 33 since coming to univer- all, many of you could Science Editor London senior completion of the first sity. This year things probably be earning quite Rosie Dutt management have five days of strike action, LIBERATION 35 are probably going to • called on Univer- a bit more working for a Tech Editor with a number of Imperial be even more intense, large faceless corporation, Tom Mrazek Isities UK to reevaluate staff and students braving HANGMAN 36-37 since the two weeks of so the decision to work for • their proposed changes the cold weather to stand PUZZLES 38 campaigning and voting is a difficult time for the anybody puts themselves not quite as much, in a not Arts Editors to the Universities Su- on picket lines. The fifth are going to be crammed current sabbatical officers; forward because they’re quite as large, not quite Indira Mallik perannuation Scheme day of action ended with into one. If there are any we’re going to spend most happy with the status quo: as faceless charity must JJ Cheng (USS), amid concerns a demonstration in central SPORTS 39-44 Adam Gellatly lectures not being can- of the week listening to you nominate yourself mean it’s something you • over data and analysis. London, joined by Imperi- celled by the strikes next our potential successors because you have opin- take an interest in. Hold Books Editors In an email sent out al staff and students. Last week, I’m sure they’ll be point out all the things ions on what hasn’t been on to that passion; don’t JJ Cheng to staff on Tuesday af- Tuesday, UUK and UCU taken up by innumerable that haven’t done, and delivered, and you have let it be extinguished when Alice Peberdy ternoon, Professor Alice announced a joint arbitra- awful shout-outs, so • Gast, President, and promise to do a better job ideas about how to deliver you get into your role, but Music Editors tion attempt through Acas, look forward to that. than we have. Ouch. I get them – whether that’s instead use it to push for Professor James Stirling, an industrial conciliation Students and staff on the march on Wednesday // Ansh Bhatnagar Felix Office Andy Djaba Beit Quad, Prince Consort As for me, I’m nearly why it has to be done, but improving the counselling change, and achieve all Adrian LaMoury Provost, said the College service. Talks are sched- Road free! This time next week it ain’t going to feel good. service, bringing back the things you don’t think Henry Eshbaugh “are now calling upon uled to begin on Monday think it would be foolish once and for all.” “On Tuesday the Pres- have averted the strike. London, SW7 2BB voting will have closed, But it is something the SCR breakfasts, or just we’ve done. • UUK and USS to jointly 5th March. for anyone to predict the UCU representatives ident announced a huge “It is up to UUK to get Tel: 020 79548072 and we should be about to sabbatical team need to trying to make Imperial a So if you’re running Film Editors convene an expert group, outcome of the analysis, welcomed the news. Dr shift in the position of the to grips with the reality Email: [email protected] Mikhail Demtchenko find out who next year’s hear, myself included. friendlier place to be. make sure you don’t pull Ashley Luckyram including both their advis- so let’s do it, and then Michael McGarvey, pres- senior management at Im- of the situation and come felixonline.co.uk sabbatical team are. For Many people run, not out For all those running, I any punches; shout loud ers and leading academic work out what the best ident of Imperial UCU, perial, altering their hard- to a fair and acceptable @feliximperial Mark Aduol “In an email, whoever succeeds me as of some desire for change, ask one thing: this week and clear about what you Michael Purdy experts, to provide full way forward is.” told Felix: “During the line stance in supporting settlement. Until then our Printed by Mortons Media Felix Editor, I wish them or to do good (although might go by in a blur, but want to do, and make sure • transparency” on UUK’s said Rhidian Thomas, second week of the strike the implementation of the strike will continue.” Group, Boston Road, the best of luck, and pray those do come into play), never forget that feeling you go ahead and do it. TV Editor proposals. It came four ’s our members at Imperial very detrimental changes The development Horncastle, Lincolnshire Andrew Melville their neurotic tendencies but more out of frustration of anger or frustration that And this goes for Felix. days into industrial action the College Ethics and Environment have continued their to staff pensions. It shows came after more than 60 Registered Newspaper • ISSN 1040-0711 are less pronounced than at how things have been made you run in the first Just don’t be mean about Food Editors by the Universities and 'are now Officer, who has been sup- tremendous support and that the senior manage- universities were affected mine… The next week going so far. I don’t think place. The Buddha might my editorials. Please. Alice Davage College Union (UCU), porting staff on the picket this has been mirrored at ment are at last beginning by industrial action, with Copyright (c) Felix 2018 Andrada Balmez which could last up to 14 calling on UUK line, told Felix: “For too universities throughout to grasp the level of tutorials and lectures can- • days. long, we’ve accepted the celled. UCU have tabled a Travel Editor the country. We have also outrage among staff at Edita Pileckyte A proposal by UUK, to convene an marketisation of higher been heartened by the set of proposals, including • the organisational body expert group'” education as inevitable. great support that we have provision of a guaranteed Felix is recruiting! Puzzles Editor for UK higher education It’s not just students received from our stu- “The UCU pension for members and Hamish Beck institutions, claimed the paying fees who are suf- dents with many joining universities accepting a • fering as a consequence said 'it is up to small amount of increased Sports Editor current USS pension us at the picket lines every Imraj Singh was operating with a Speaking to Professor – we’re now seeing staff’s day.” UUK to get to risk. • deficit of £7.5bn, and the Stirling at the picket line pensions being gambled “The Imperial UCU UCU general secretary Head Photographer employee contributions earlier this week, he told on the stock market. In membership continues to grips with the Sally Hunt said: “We are Joseph O'Connell-Danes had increased by more Felix the developments the context of skyrocket- rise at an unprecedented pleased the employers • over talks were “posi- ing fees, higher student have agreed to more CF Photographer than 50% since 2014. rate as more and more reality of the Fahdi Kanavati This proposal has been tive”: “UUK and UCU numbers and rampant people realise the enor- talks… We have listened • criticised by a number of are getting Acas involved executive pay rises, it’s mity of how damaging situation. Until not just to our members, Copy Editors parties, however, includ- and getting back around unacceptable that ordi- these pension proposals but also to the many uni- Alex Adler ing an Imperial working the table. I think this is a nary staff are expected to are, and is now up by then our strike versity leaders who have Ash Pattar group, who said a “lack really positive develop- bear the cost. As students more than 25% since the contributed ideas.” Astrid Zong will continue'” Selin Olenik of transparency remains ment, so I am hopeful that of Imperial College, we dispute started. Many A number of university Rhidian Thomas a key issue” in the debate. we will be able to reach an ought to be calling on have joined the union leaders had called on We want you – yes, you! We’re looking for writers, photographers, editors, illustrators, reporters, Ezgi Ozyilkan College has committed agreement on this, and a our senior management specifically to support Imperial. Why didn’t they UUK to reopen talks with Myles Lee to “fully resource any good way forward for our to defend their staff and the action, and up to a do this from the outset? If UCU, in an effort to limit computer experts and grammar nerds to join our team. No experience needed – we’ll teach you Hari Choudhury staff” who participate staff.” lobby UUK to ditch the hundred of our members they had used their influ- the likelihood of further Gillian Lee everything you need to know. If you’re interested, send us an email on [email protected] in the evaluation of the He went on to say: “I proposed pension changes have joined picket lines.“ ence properly we might industrial action. 2 3 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected] Investment properties, White City developments, and luxury postgraduate accommodation owned by College Cont investment assets which room in halls”. bedspaces. The College to the South Kensington rental income of £720,000 halls aimed at young pro- access to Imperial Home combined – and is greater will provide income in the While the College says this will be done to campus: an en-suite room each week – more than fessionals – I take issue Solutions, an online than that owned by the future as well as academic promises to provide all ensure it has “the critical at Woodward Buildings any other London uni- with the fact there’s no website managed by the University of Oxford. facilities which will allow first-year undergraduates mass needed to develop a costs £131 per week, versity bar KCL, which alternative or support for Student Hub promoting Imperial also has a us to deliver our core with accommodation, vibrant student hub”. The compared to £232 for a owns around 40% more most students who will private landlords as well large number of properties mission.” Last year the its current holdings do new hall will form part room in Eastside Halls. bedspaces than Imperial. not be able to afford it. as other purpose built currently under construc- College invested roughly not allow it to do so: this of the undergraduate first Construction of In a statement for Felix, Imperial should do more student halls. We do send tion: at the end of the past £200 million in its estate, academic year, Imperial Woodward Buildings has a College representative to ensure the marketing information on GradPad academic year they had including projects in accepted 2,715 students, allowed Imperial to keep said Imperial did not that gets to students pro- to students when they £327 million in properties South Kensington and but currently only owns "Imperial has its average rent increase profit from student rents: vides options for students accept their place as it currently under construc- White City. 2,484 bedspaces, not in- year-on-year to around “The College’s approach of all background to allow can be a more conven- tion – the most out of any cluding those in GradPad. increased rent 2.5%, slightly above the to pricing is to ensure them to live comfortably ient option for overseas large London university, Imperial Accommo- As a result, Imperial average inflation rate for rental income covers the and safely, instead of just postgraduate students as including UCL and King’s dation offers students spaces at over the last the period: in 2012, the college’s maintenance, passing on information it can be organised before College London. UCL’s halls which are not owned few years, with average room in Imperi- capital and running costs relevant to the wealthiest they arrive in the UK - but rapid expansion has Imperial has also been and/or operated by the al-owned undergraduate for accommodation, subset and leaving the rest postgraduate students are come under fire recently, rapidly expanding the College, such as Xenia, the average accommodation was but does not generate to figure it out.” informed via the website after academics backed amount of student accom- which provides space for £155/week, compared to a surplus from student The only option for about the options in the a motion of no confi- modation it owns, increas- nearly 150 students and is now standing around £175/week this rents. Student rents are set postgraduate students Im- private rental sector as dence in the university’s ing bedspaces by nearly operated by the Salvation year. every five years and the perial currently lists on its well.” leadership. One of the a fifth over the past five Army Housing Associa- at £175/week” The year Woodward College will consult with accommodation webpage As well as GradPad, UK’s leading judges said years. The College owns tion (SAHA). Buildings opened saw a the Union in the same way for those outside Silwood Imperial previously had UCL management was more than 3,500 bedspac- One way Imperial will sharp increase in rent for when it comes to setting Park is GradPad. While holdings in other post- “intent on driving through es – more than LSE and be trying to make up the year guarantee portfolio. central student accommo- rents for the next five year it does have a private graduate accommodation. a programme of rapid QMUL, but fewer than shortfall is with new ac- It is unclear whether or dation, following lobby- period.” accommodation guide, Last year it sold a block expansion… exposing it UCL or KCL. Space for commodation outside of not the accommodation to ing by Imperial College At the beginning of and puts on events aimed of postgraduate accom- to serious financial and undergraduate students, central London. In 2015 it be constructed will be as Union (ICU) to restructure this academic year, it at helping people find modation to another academic risks”. however, remains tight: in opened Woodward Build- affordable as that on offer pricing of halls. Between was revealed Woodward private accommodation, provider, which has since When asked how the last year’s annual report, ings, a 19-storey building at Woodward Buildings, September 2014 and Sep- Buildings had failed fire Imperial is rapidly expanding into the White City area // Imperial there is no information marketed it to undergrad- College would ensure the College reported its in North Acton with space which is currently subsi- tember 2015, the average safety tests carried out on specific to postgraduate uates; having acquired the current levels of growth growth in enrolments was for 690 students. Last year dised compared to similar rent in central London its cladding in the wake of of Imperial’s White City helpful”. “I think Imperial is very help finding accommoda- students. property in 2012, Imperial are sustainable, a spokes- “weighted towards post- it acquired another plot of accommodation nearby. halls owned by Imperial – the tragic Grenfell Tower campus – are owned by pro-pushing people to tion, at least not in a pro- In a statement, a made a total profit of £9.2 person said: “We have a graduates to avoid putting land in Acton, which will The accommodation including Eastside, South- fire. While having sections Imperial, but operated by use GradPad. If you go active way. I tried looking College spokesperson million. balanced and sustainable strain on our commitment be used to expand the available at Woodward is side, Wilson House, and of cladding that failed UPP, which manages over “Imperial has onto the website there’s at the Imperial accredited said: “All students have strategy for expansion. We to provide all first-year student accommodation significantly cheaper than Pembridge – increased by government-ordered tests, 32,000 rooms in the UK. no advice for PG accom- private accommodation are building a mixture of undergraduates with a on offer to around 1,300 rooms available closer nearly £30, from £166/ Woodward Buildings Prices at GradPad start been accused modation, or find-a-friend page, but the options were week to £193/week. At were confirmed “safe for at £219/week, but go up website; you have to show scarce and expensive.” the time, Tom Wheeler, occupancy” by fire safety to £430/week; all con- of aggressively your own initiative to not Another student, who then Union President, teams. A review of the tracts are for 51 weeks. marketing end up going there. I had completed their PhD at the said: “It is fantastic that rest of Imperial’s halls If all rooms available GradPad pushed on me”. end of the past academic as a result of our lobbying found none used unsafe in GradPad were rented GradPad, its They also said they year, told Felix that while we have secured lower cladding. Woodward out this academic year, felt international students GradPad had “very nice rent for over 1,000 future Buildings is still awaiting it would produce nearly luxury PG were more likely to facilities” and “was worth students.” new cladding. £300,000 in rental income feel compelled to use it if you could afford it”, According to data each week – over 40% of studios” GradPad: “A lot of people it was not an option for Imperial and Grad- all potential income from who stay there are inter- those on the minimum Pad student rents. national, and I think they stipend. “Woodward The most expensive However, they also get screwed over. The “They market it at Postgraduate accom- rooms at GradPad, which pointed out: “One thing way [Imperial] targets it is everyone, including those still has not modation has also been an can be found in the Wood that annoyed me the most very much ‘this is the sim- who may not realise they area in which Imperial has Lane complex, are among was there’s no oven in plest solution, you won’t can’t afford it, and they had its unsafe realised a profit over the the most expensive of all the accommodation. You have to worry about it’, don’t give any alternatives cladding, past few years. Imperial university-owned accom- have hob space, but it gets and I think that appeals to for people who have to owns accommodation for modation – 50% more to a point where you’re people who are travelling look elsewhere. Some which was over 1,000 postgraduate expensive than UCL’s like ‘oh god, why do I not overseas, who can’t see make the assumption they students across two most expensive offering. have an oven?’ That was the properties.” can afford it, because you discovered blocks marketed under the Felix spoke to one really frustrating.” Having These concerns were should be able to afford brand “GradPad”, which postgraduate student, who individual kitchens meant echoed by a number of what Imperial recom- in August, describes itself as “Lon- lived in GradPad’s Batter- “it was quite an antisocial postgraduate students mends, even if you’re on replaced” don’s premier provider sea property last academic environment”, with “no Felix spoke to. One the minimum stipend. of postgraduate student year, who said they had “a encouragement of social student approaching the “While I don’t have accommodation”. good experience overall”. interaction”. end of their PhD at Imperi- any problems with provided by the College, The two complex- They highlighted features They highlighted how al after moving from UCL GradPad itself – I don’t if all College-owned es – Griffon Studios in like the gym, the con- much Imperial had pro- said it wasn’t an isolated think it's unfairly priced bedspaces were rented Battersea, and Wood Lane venience, and “the desk moted GradPad before problem: “Neither UCL considering the benefits, Woodward Buildings continues to have cladding that has failed fire safety tests // Imperial out, it would generate a Studios on the North Site staff were really nice and they started their course: nor Imperial were any and compared to similar GradPad studios go for up to £430/week // Imperial 4 5 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

NEWS [email protected] NEWS [email protected] VarsityFest delayed due to poor weather Imperial confirms teaching missed during strikes will NEWS the rescheduled date, but This year the Headline not be examined students who cannot make match will be the Fred Fyles it will be provided with a 1s, and the Showcase Editor-in-Chief refund. Information about match will be Kabaddi. NEWS The email came two expressed her worries the process for refunds The majority of the days into the strikes, over “uncertainty and lack will be sent out once the matches were scheduled Fred Fyles which could last up to of clarity from College”, VarsityFest has been date has been rearranged. to be played outside. Editor-in-Chief 14 days. UCU members and asked the College to cancelled after snow In a statement, an The current weather voted to take industrial “show sector leadership and high winds hit the ICU representative said: has caused havoc across action following proposed on this matter”. “Due to adverse weather the country, as strong Senior management changes to their pension One issue Prof. country. conditions which are not winds, low temperatures, confirmed studentsscheme by Universities Dougherty highlighted scheduled to change over and heavy snow affected would "not be UK (UUK). was the expectation of his year’s Varsi- the weekend, Sport Impe- transport links. Hundreds The email was fol- departmental staff to min- tyFest has been rial and Imperial College of flights have been can- examined on any lowed by another message imise the impact the strike postponed, fol- Union took the decision celled, and the Met Office material that you from Professor Buitendijk was having on students, lowing heavy today to postpone the has issued a red extreme have not been taught" on Thursday, 1st March which she said was “un- Tsnow and cold weather. annual VarsityFest weather warning for snow saying: “Every effort is reasonable and unviable”. In an update, Imperial competition. We plan to and wind in southwest mperial College being made to ensure Last week, over 700 College Union (ICU) told re-arrange the event at a England. It said: “Long London has con- that the overall goals of students from the Depart- students: “Due to adverse different time. We are dis- interruptions to power firmed students will each module and degree ment of Physics alone weather VarsityFest from appointed that the weather supplies and other utilities not be examined programme are achieved. were affected, as nearly this Saturday 3 March is has impacted the event are very likely to occur, Ion material missed as For Imperial modules and 60% of lecture contact postponed.” Club captains The sports ground under snow… // Sport Imperial as such, but the main along with damage to trees a result of the ongoing where the College has hours and nearly 40% are scheduled to receive concern was the playing and other structures due to strikes by the Univer- final authority, I can reit- of tutorial contact hours Strikes have hit campus over the past two weeks // Joseph O'Connell-Danes emails about contingency thick blanket of snow. Or- the cancellation of this thick layer of snow and conditions at the grounds heavy snow or ice.” The sity and College Union erate my assurances you had to be cancelled. Prof. plans, and students are ganisers have given club week’s Hockey Varsity, frozen over”, and it would and at this moment it is extreme weather has been (UCU). will not be assessed on Dougherty urged the student representatives of tuition fees, started by and we will address this advised to check for captains three options for which was scheduled to send an update later in the not safe to play sport on prompted by icy Siberian In an email sent to all anything that has not been College to “ensure that across the College. We students in the Electronic concern in due course.” updates in the coming a new date, and the choice be played on Wednesday week on when the match frozen ground.” air – dubbed “the beast students last Friday, 23rd taught to you as a result of productive negotiations hope the College consid- and Electrical Engineer- UCU is currently days. ICU has posted pho- will be communicated to afternoon. In a statement, would be rescheduled. VarsityFest 2018 was from the east” – which has February, Professor James strike action.” are reopened between ers the other impacts of ing (EEE) Department, taking industrial action tographs of Heston Sports students in the near future. Sport Imperial said “Har- Tickets for VarsityFest scheduled to take place engulfed the country. Stirling, the Provost, and A number of students UUK and the [UCU] these strikes and takes currently has around over changes to pension Ground buried under a The move follows lington is now under a should still be accepted for this Saturday, 3rd March. Professor Simone Bui- and staff have voiced con- without any further action – urging UUK 2,500 signatures. Students schemes, which it says tendijk, Vice-Provost (Ed- cerns over whether or not delay”. reopen negotiations at other universities have could see academics and ucation), said they wanted assessments later this year In a statement for Felix, between UUK and UCU.” started similar petitions, support staff losing out on to “reassure [students] would include material a Union representative As well as concerns with reports of the number thousands of pounds each that no students will be scheduled to be covered in said: “The Union is glad over examinations, a of students demanding year. Universities UK, the placed at a disadvantage contact time cancelled due to see the College is number of student ac- refunds increasing by governing body propos- due to the strike”. They to the strike. In an email addressing the concerns ademic representatives 10,000 per day. ing the changes, says the told students: “We can sent to Prof. Stirling and we have raised on behalf have been asking whether In the email, Prof. Stir- move is needed to ensure say with certainty that you Prof. Buitendijk earlier on of our members regarding tuition fees would be ling and Prof. Buitendijk the sustainability of the will not be examined on Friday, Professor Michele the impact of the current refunded as a result of the said: “We have also heard scheme – a proposal UCU PHOENIX any material that you have Dougherty, head of the strikes. This is testament strike action. A petition from a number of students disagrees with. not been taught.” Department of Physics, to the work of staff and requesting a partial refund about their tuition fees Imperial’s arts magazine returns! Max Mosley-owned trust funding Imperial lab

NEWS The Alexander Mosley researching the use of trust. Watson is also in the World in 2008. The immigrants of carrying We are interested in: • Poetry Charitable Trust was set MDMA as a treatment for charge of Labour’s poli- trial centred on a News diseases such as leprosy, Joanna Wormald up in memory of Mos- PTSD. Dr. Sessa was due cies on press regulation. of the World story about syphilis, and TB. A copy • Prose Deputy Editor ley’s son, who died of a to speak about his work Mosley bankrolls the Mosley’s sadomasochistic of one of the leaflets carry- suspected drug overdose yesterday at an event state-recognised press involvement with five ing the words “published • Photography The former Formula in 2009. Since then, the hosted by Imperial’s Psy- regulator Impress via the prostitutes, but Mosley by Max Mosley” emerged One boss' trust that trust has donated at least chedelic Studies society, trust. Only a few small was also questioned earlier this week. Mosley • Fine arts £600,000 to the centre, which was cancelled publications and websites on election literature continued to deny his has donated at least which is headed by because of poor weather. have signed up to Impress; published for the British involvement in the 1961 • And more... £600,000 to Imperial. Professor David Nutt. The trust has given the majority of national Union of Fascists, which by-election campaign in Professor Nutt’s recent more than £1 million to St and local publications was led by Mosley’s an interview with Channel mperial’s Centre for work has looked at the Peter’s College, Oxford, are members of the Inde- father, Sir Oswald Mosley. 4 News’ Cathy Newman. Neuropsychophar- potential therapeutic ben- where Alexander Mosley pendent Press Standards During the trial Mosley Police are now assessing macology is partly efits of psychedelic drugs studied. The deputy leader Organisation (Ipso). claimed to have no rec- evidence relating to a funded by a family in treating depression. of the Labour Party, Tom Mosley’s interest in ollection of publishing possible charge of perjury Itrust owned by former The trust has also Watson, has also accepted press regulation stems campaign leaflets calling against Mosley. Formula One boss Max provided funding to Dr. donations totalling more from his successful legal for black people to be The College has not If you’re interested, please email [email protected] Mosley. Ben Sessa, a psychiatrist than £500,000 from the battle against News of deported and accusing commented. 6 7 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

COMMENT [email protected] COMMENT [email protected] What a shame it’s not Valentine’s day... In The Whites… We’d meant to run this article for our Valentine’s Day issue a few weeks ago, but didn’t manage Imperial College Musical Theatre Society’s latest production features a predominantly to. Oh well! A little bit late, Comment Writer Bamish Heck suggests some of the more outlandish white cast pretending to be Latino in a musical intended to promote representation of this things you could do next Valentine’s day marginalised community.

COMMENT may have a willing sexual COMMENT show, although – to the partner just at the end of best of my knowledge – Bamish Heck your bed, or buried away Anonymous none of the cast or direc- Comment Writer in a wardrobe. Just find Comment Writer torial team is Latino. yourself a fit plushie. Many people choose to ince it was re- just hump against them, cting is about “It has cently Valentines or give them a facial. If inhabiting an- Day, and my lack you’d like to go further, other person’s resulted in an of organisation and have sewing skills or life. When uncomfortable Smeant that I didn’t get this an open minded friend at Astories explore univer- into the paper in time for build a bear, you can even sal themes – most of production a couple of weeks ago, I sew in a silk orifice, or Shakespeare fits this cate- thought I’d share some pull out some stuffing and gory – few would disagree featuring ideas for those of you fit an artificial silicone that an actor can give an looking to spice up your one. If you are looking to insightful performance in white next Valentine’s Day. Just be penetrated, you can fit these stories, regardless of as with all sexual activity, a strap-on and go to town their ethnic background. performers consent from the partici- on that teddy. The appeal of “colour rapping with pating/affected parties is blind” casting, however, key. Google keyword: collapses entirely when generic Latino Plushophilia telling the stories of mar- Restrain and suspend ginalised groups. accents” yourself Sacrifice yourself as Lin-Manuel Miranda’s food In The Heights follows You will need: the routines, dreams, and This has resulted in an • Ropes Optional: struggles of the mostly uncomfortable production • Sleepsack, or • Creature with a Latino inhabitants of featuring white perform- failing that, a cheap jaw diameter wider than Washington Heights, ers rapping with generic sleeping bag (optional) your hips Manhattan. Far from the Latino accents and • A sturdy frame or • Craigslist ad uneducated, sexualised boasting of their diverse bar which can support the thugs Latino actors are South American heritage. weight of a person Can you imagine a often forced to play, Some cast members have better feeling than being these characters are fully posted on social media Sometimes it can be Yeah, not this kind of watersport… //Flickr swallowed and digested? realised characters written making light of the fact really fun to be fully Me neither. Maybe you by a man who shares their that they are pretending restrained so you can’t art of rope bondage. You cheap and simple. Drink strapon or cocksheath. could find yourself a large background. Miranda to be Latino. Perhaps this N.B.: This is not the MTSoc production, in case you hadn’t guessed… // Flickr/Steven Pisano move and be suspended can be suspended in all lots of fluids, then pee Pup play is a rising snake and just let them has used In The Heights indicates self-awareness from the ceiling. If you kinds of shapes, or just do on your partner. It’s a phenomenon in the kink Google keyword: Pup consume you. If being and Hamilton (which and embarrassment, but not vindicate the groups short-sighted mistake has traditionally white roles get yourself a nice sturdy away with the suspension relatively risk free sexual world. No equipment is play swallowed whole isn’t the very deliberately casts then again, perhaps not. choosing to do it. “Colour blind been made before – such to all, but is hoggish and sleep-sack it should have altogether and be turned practice. Urine is usually required, but can help deal breaker, you could non-white actors as Amer- Other theatre com- Ethnicity is not a as when Mexican actor oppressive when it means straps to keep you in into a nice sculpture. sterile, unless the urinator people to get into the Pound a plush toy even organise to meet ica’s founding fathers) to panies have made the costume; it is something casting can Ricardo Montalbán played erasing representation for place. You can then attach has a UTI. There is a mood. Essentially, you someone online, who empower actors who too same mistake: last year you live with. Even if Khan Noonien Singh in specific minorities within a rope and have someone Google keyword: Sus- tiny risk of salmonella or just have to get on your You will need: might eat you in smaller rarely get the opportunity a semi-professional you are not painting your open up white Star Trek II: Wrath of a musical meant to do the winch you up. Once pension bondage CMV, but this is very rare. hands and knees and • Stuffed toy chunks. to inhabit three-dimen- Australian production face with shoe polish roles, but is Khan – and should not be very opposite. you’re there you’ll be Try not to get too much of pretend to be a dog. You • Scissors sional characters with of In The Heights was and wearing an afro wig, made again. MTSoc know that they completely at their mercy. Watersports it in the eyes if you don’t could play fetch, eat from (optional) Google keyword: their own stories to tell. cancelled after being putting on an ethnicity hoggish and Imperial College is would not have enough So they can play with your want a bit of stingage a dog bowl or just do away • Fleshlight Vorarephilia In MTSoc’s produc- flooded with criticism and taking it off when among the most diverse black students signing up genitals or hit you with You will need: with human language (optional) tion of In The Heights, for its prominently white the curtain falls is just as oppressive universities in the country, for them to cast Hairspray something, or you can • Lots of water or Google keyword: Uro- constructs and opt to • Silk lining I hope I’ve given you however, the majority of cast (which still had more disingenuous, if not as and, to its credit, MTSoc appropriately. If they just enjoy the sensation other beverages lagnia bark and growl instead. (optional) some ideas, or enlight- roles are played by white Latino cast members than crassly offensive. when it erases has never shied away from knew they would not be of not being able to move. • A bath, shower, Popping in a tail butt plug, • Needle and thread ened you somewhat. actors. This includes MTSoc’s production). In a The cast of MTSoc’s In representation casting their most talented able to give the majority If you’d like to get a little basement level l a b o r a - Be a dog person or strapping on a show tail (optional) Don’t forget to google Benny, a young black tweet, Miranda acknowl- The Heights is not entirely performers as tradition- of roles to Latino students, more skillful and artistic tory bathroom, outside may make the experience • Strapon (optional) the keywords if you’re driver whose love inter- edged that primarily white. A sizeable fraction for specific ally white characters no why attempt to put on a with your suspension, or space or a lack of respect Optional: more dog-like. If you’re interested. There’s a vast est’s parents disapprove white productions of In of the cast is Asian, but matter their ethnicity. musical about Latinos? can’t afford a sleepsack, for your bedroom furnish- • Pup tail/ tail butt- really looking to go for it, If you’re feeling a little wealth of advice and com- of their relationship due The Heights are the price Asians and Latinos are not minorities” Colour blind casting can try checking out shibari. ings. Take your pick. plug why not invest in an ana- lonely next Valentine’s munity out there. Happy to his race. One Spanish to pay for making the interchangeable, slightly be good for representa- It’s the ancient japanese This one is relatively • Pup hood or mask tomically correct canine day, don’t worry. You Next Valentine’s Day! actor has been cast in the rights available. This does tan ethnic minorities. This tion when it opens up 8 9 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

COMMENT [email protected] Huel: An ingenious solution for modern life, or the 21st-century­ workhouse gruel? Hint: it’s the latter. This week Grumpy Bastard has a lot to say about Huel, and why it will doom humanity

COMMENT of year is incontrovertible exalting their new unpar- is normally the preserve their workforce since guilt, as they are going to evidence that Alice Gast is alleled existence and den- of the ruling classes, or the beginning of time. Grumpy Bastard an evil ice witch, hellbent igrating my own. Imagine those enduring futuristic By allowing Huel to be Comment Writer on using her powers to a pushy vegan, but one dystopias. I still don’t adopted across the whole “Huel is prevent staff from obtain- that only eats one thing. understand why they offer spectrum of society, we ing a fair pension deal. Huel is described on its different flavours: as the face the prospect of being going to ruin his week I’ve Think Frozen, but with an website as “Nutritionally saying goes, you can’t given the barest amount lunchtimes as been feeling inability to freeze the only complete food, simply de- polish a turd. of time to add the powder Christmassy, thing that matters: her livered.” This I agree with, Huel as a foodstuff is to our Huel branded well as tasting which is to say remuneration package. if you want your nutrition consumed as a time saving shakers, before adding Tvindictive and hateful. Anyway, moving on, delivered with a side of measure, to increase the water, shaking it around terrible” It’s probably due to the this week I have been self-hate. Drinking Huel is efficiency of human life and chugging it down in snow falling all over confronted with the like choking down a grey and reduce the amount of a bare 5 minutes. This campus that everyone is monstrosity that is Huel, soup of misery, because time spent preparing and should obviously be com- totally ruin lunchtimes, as endlessly posting pictures as one of my friends has it is in essence just work- eating food. As an ardent pleted while wearing the well as subject the rest of of on every form of social started brandishing his house gruel for the 21st traditionalist, the idea Huel branded T-shirt that us to a flavourless future. media they can access. No bottle as a replacement for Century. This is probably of making our lives ever they send out as part of In the name of inefficien- one is going to get snowed lunch. As with all those why I am surprised that more efficient can result in their insidious advertising cy, I beg you to dispose in or freeze to death, that have recently adopted it has become fashionable only one inevitable trend. campaign. of your Huel branded which is all the worse a food fad, they decided with those of middling The removal of the work What I’m getting at is, shakers, and send this for the College in light that they immediately had income as condemning lunchtime, or the space in as usual, that whoever uses blind futurism where it of the strikes. The sudden to convert me to their way people to consume col- the day that all employers this product should feel belongs: back to the smug snow flurries at this time of life, by simultaneously ourless, flavourless liquids have been obliged to give unbearable, soul-crushing Scandinavians.

New Year, New News!

Felix are setting up a weekly newsletter, delivered straight to your inbox. Get all the best news, cul- ture and sports every week.

Get the cat on the go!

10 FELIX ISSUE 1687

SCIENCE [email protected] Slicing through the fat: fighting against diabetes

SCIENCE total lack of pancreatic-in- surgical treatment for blood. However, it is only degree due to reduced 5. Finally, glucose sulin production, while obesity since the 1920s. recently that its impact concentrations. transporters in the intesti- Jack Hopkins type II diabetes stems on reducing diabetes has 2. Surgery raises nal lining are responsible Science Writer from decreased insulin been noted. Amazingly, circulating bile acid con- for glucose uptake having production or insulin “The science clinical trials conducted centrations, which helps to decreased activity. These insensitivity in other cells. on hundreds of patients increase the breakdown of transporters require oo many of us Insulin is responsible for is simple –by in the last few decades lipids and glucose in cells sodium to transport remain attached signalling glucose uptake reveal that GI surgery is and thus dampen down glucose into the cell. to electronic from the bloodstream and reorganising the most effective method prolonged blood-glucose Surgery bypasses the devices, hood- storing it as glycogen. the digestive of combating diabetes: spikes. primary sodium sources in Twinked into thinking that Dysregulation of insulin Professor Francesco 3. The microbiome the digestive system (e.g. we are the exception to production leads to system to Rubino and colleagues at (the population of mi- from pancreatic juices) re- injury or disease. With disrupted blood-glucose King’s College London croorganisms that live in sulting in lowered glucose increasingly captivating control as glucose remains shorten the reported 89% of treated your gut) is also affected, uptake. online entertainment in circulation, unable people where managing reducing inflammation Further research is facilities, high calorie to enter the cells and GI tract, fewer the disease through diet and increasing insulin underway to identify if food, and a huge swell of leading to a whole host of nutrients will and exercise alone – sensitivity. other mechanisms remain procrastination, the 21st problems, such as inflam- without the need for any 4. Increased sensi- hidden away, although Century has vastly altered mation. Historically the be absorbed” further therapy! tivity of the mechanism the effectiveness of the the human health para- disease has always been These incredible results by which the gut detects treatment has already digm. This environment thought of as chronic, pro- have been narrowed down changes in glucose con- been noticed. In 2016, 45 is the perfect breeding gressive, and irreversible. The science is simple – by to five phenomena: centrations and relays in- medical societies enlisted ground for diabetes to However, the promise of reorganising the digestive 1. Hunger-induc- formation to the brain for GI surgery as the standard develop. a cure for type II diabetes system to shorten the ing hormones, such the suppression of glucose diabetic treatment, laying Diagnosis of diabetes seems tantalisingly close route food takes through as Ghrelin, which are production in the liver the groundwork for has more than doubled at hand. the gastrointestinal (GI) primarily produced in allows the vagus nerve crucial steps forward in since 1996. Type I Biliopancreatic diver- tract, fewer nutrients the GI tract, are unable to to stop gluconeogenesis opposing type II diabetes diabetes is caused from a sion has been a common will be absorbed by the exert an effect to the same earlier. and obesity. Connect with conservation – orangutan genocide

SCIENCE the exploitation of the lost in the period being natural world to supply studied – an average of 17 Steve Allain the developed world with animals a day. To put this Science Writer cheap goods such as palm into perspective, it would oil. The biggest contri- similar to losing the entire butions to the murder population of Lincoln in n the summer of of orangutans include the same amount of time. 2015, I was lucky hunting and the logging Only around half of enough to visit Borneo’s original forest Borneo; here I was cover remains, constrict- Iable to observe orangu- “The biggest ing wildlife to smaller tans in the wild, amongst and tighter patches of other spectacular wild- contributions suitable habitat. Where life. This was a very the forest stops, the humbling experience to the murder plantations begin. This in and one that I will never of orangutans turn is another cause of forget! Recently a por- conflict as orangutans are tion of the news really include often shot when they enter Orangutans are currently under threat // Wikimedia caught my attention – fruit and crop plantations, for the wrong reasons, hunting and where they are seen as although they are not as name literally translates conceivable solutions however. They reported a major raiding pest. social as other great apes into the “man of the we have for conserving on a study which found the logging of Declines such as these such as chimpanzees. If forest” in Malay. They are these magnificent beings that between 1999 and trees for cash are unprecedented in a the current loss of the similar to us in so many for future generations to 2015, a period of just natural system without forest and orangutans ways but are also unique marvel at. Moving away 16 years, the population crops” anthropogenic pressures, continues then there is a in their own right too. from using products that of Bornean orangutans and it will take some very real likelihood that This raises the question: contain palm oil is just had dropped by over time for the orangutans they will be extinct within why do we not show more one of the ways that you half. This figure may not of trees in order to grow to recover if a suitable our lifetimes. compassion for these can help to reduce your sound that alarming, but these cash crops. It is es- recovery programme can Orangutans share ap- awe-inspiring beings? impact on orangutans. this enigmatic decline timated that over 100,000 be established. Like us, proximately 97% of their Collaboration, outreach, has a very sinister cause: orangutans have been they are slow to mature, DNA with us, and their and education are the only

11 FR IDAY, 2 ND FEBRUARY, 2018 FELIX

SCIENCE [email protected] From skin cells to stem cells?

SCIENCE Imagine an egg. It has successfully developed the potential to become this reprogramming Sarah Wong a lot of things if you add technology back in 2006. Science Writer the right ingredients. For However, this process instance, you can make is extremely difficult, a delicious Victorian and the efficiency of the tem cells are un- sponge, or you can make reprogramming process is specialised cells a piping hot omelette. less than 1%. To put this that can develop to The Nobel-prize-worthy into context, according form almost all cell question is: can you turn to Amram Shapiro’s Stypes in your body – just the final product back to book The Book of Odds, like Mystique in X-men. its original ingredient? there is a higher chance Similar to the movies, Put the egg back into its of getting into Harvard this ‘shapeshifting’ ability shell? than successfully turning makes these types of cells This answer is yes! a specialised cell into an extremely valuable in iPSCs are essentially the iPSC. medicine. From gener- Such low efficiency ating new skin for burn hinders the transferal victims, to creating new “From new of this technology into Stem cells can provide incredibly opportunities for medicine // Wikimedia organs in the lab, these the clinic, so constant cells undoubtedly have organs to efforts are being made enhanced the efficiency crowded and grow faster. Altogether, this allows the potential to improve to improve the process. of the reprogramming These changes allow a an ultra-high efficient our quality of life. regenerating Recently, a group led process. maximum efficiency for system where both Nevertheless, these skin, stem by Ganna Bilousova, Not only did they create turning skin cells into diseased and healthy skin highly unspecialised Ph.D. in the University this unique mixture of iPSCs. cells can be turned into pluripotent embryonic cells can of Colorado Anschutz molecules, but they also By augmenting both iPSCs in a cheaper, faster, stem cells (ESC) only Medical Campus, US, has optimised the way these the culturing conditions and more reliable manner. reside in rare places undoubtingly uncovered a more efficient molecules are introduced and the level of repro- Nonetheless, this protocol within the body, including way to create iPSCs from into the skin cells. This gramming molecules, is cell-type specific, developing embryos. As improve our skin cells. means that the adult cells these modifications acted meaning more work is they are obtained from quality of life” By introducing a are more receptive to the synergistically to improve needed if we want to embryos, this has raised a cocktail of molecules that changes, and less likely the process. Upon inspec- use this technique in the number of ethical issues. control how genes turn to die from the repro- tion, the results of the clinic or for treating other Thereby, a new method of product of reverting the on and off (modified nu- gramming process. Addi- gene expression profile diseases. So keep eating reprogramming special- cake or an omelette back cleobases, supplemented tionally, the cell growing hinted that other players, your greens and head to ised adult cells has been into its raw, untouched with ESC-specific mature regime was fine-tuned such as SLLA4, may be the gym – growing organs developed: induced pluri- form; a Japanese scien- micro-RNA mimics), the by having a low plating mediating the process of in the lab is not quite here potent stem cells (iPSC). tist, Shinya Yamanaka, group has successfully density, thus cells are less reprogramming. yet! Understanding apoptosis: the human suicide squad

SCIENCE the rest of the body. While activate self-detonation. and cause the release of the outer membrane of the ty induced damage to the you may consider this ul- mitochondrial DNA into mitochondria. The inner cells. According to Betzig Varshit Dusad timate act of self-sacrifice the cytoplasm, which MT membrane pushes himself, this technology Science Writer too extreme, this suicidal “Apoptosis further signals the contin- out through these holes will have more impact death of a cell, also termed uation of apoptosis in the to escape into cytoplasm than his Nobel-winning ‘Apoptosis’, is used to is used to cell. This latest study – with all of its constituents. work on super-resolution re you aware keep life-threatening published by a joint collab- This mechanism of action microscopy. that human dangers such as cancer in keep life- oration between Monash is also called “mitochon- Both the results and cells also check. threatening University, Walter and drial hernia”. method of study will have their The latest findings Eliza Hall Institute, and The primary technol- impact future work. This Aown version of a suicide published last week dangers such Howard Hughes Medical ogy which could make strategy of using multiple squad? This squad comes explained one of the less Institute – was able to this possible was lattice microscopy techniques to into action in times of understood steps of the as cancer in record the expulsion of light sheet microscopy. capture cellular activities extreme distress, when process of apoptosis: the the mitochondrial genome This was developed by inside the living cells at cells have extinguished mechanism of the release check” in real time. They used a Eric Betzig, winner of such high resolution will all other means to combat of the mitochondrial (MT) combination of multiple the 2014 Nobel Prize in improve our understand- their stress. Their call to genome inside the cell’s It is well known that two microscopy techniques Chemistry. This tech- ing of internal function- action means only one cytoplasm. The integrity proteins – BAK and BAX to image cells at a very nique improves the older ing. Hopefully, these thing – destruction of of mitochondria serves as – play an important role high degree of resolution. light sheet fluorescence advances will culminate the cells themselves, and a checkpoint for the cell to in this programmed cell Their images confirmed microscopy by increasing in practical applications everything inside which decide if the circumstanc- death. They disrupt the that BAK/BAX proteins image acquisition speed in fields of health and can also pose a threat to es are severe enough to mitochondrial membrane create large pores inside and reducing phototoxici- medicine. 12 FELIX ISSUE 1687

TECH [email protected] Pioneering treatments for healing chronic wounds

Kerecis has been named Iceland’s fastest growing startup // Kerecis In recent times, there have been many advancements in treatment of chronic wounds – we explore a few of the most exciting and innovative technological advances in this field over the last few years.

health problems including company’s products have entiate, and eventually stages of wound healing. lated is CXCL12, and its TECH diabetes, obesity, and already been approved turn into living tissue. The miRNAs involved degradation is slowed, as poor circulation; thus, by the FDA, and it can Another recent discov- in wound healing are the lactic acid produced it is more prevalent in be used to treat acute, ery was the importance being discovered, and this by the bacteria lowers the Xiuchen Xu developed countries. It is chronic, and oral wounds. of miRNA in chronic provides the possibility of pH. The resulting change Tech Writer estimated that 1-2% of the The company’s products wound healing. MicroR- gene therapy for patients. in the microenvironment population in developed are made from drying NAs or miRNAs are However, it is not yet a leads to more immune countries will experience and processing cod skin. short non-coding RNA valid therapy, as there cells gathering, and they hronic wounds a chronic wound during Fish skin is naturally rich sequences that can partic- needs to be a suitable also become more spe- differ from their lifetime. In the US in omega-3 fatty acids, ipate in regulating gene delivery system of drugs cialised, producing more normal acute alone, there are over six which yield anti-inflam- expression, through post that can overcome intra- TGFß, a growth factor wounds, because million chronic wound matory effects that can transcriptional silencing cellular and extracellular involved in healing. Cthey do not go through the patients, and treatment is speed up the healing of mRNAs. Recently barriers. Overall, there are normal healing process costing around $25 billion process. The material sub- miRNA has been found to Lastly, technology that exciting prospects for the of inflammation, prolif- per year. However there stitutes the extracellular be involved in many differ- targets the microenviron- future of treating chronic eration, and remodelling; has been many important matrix crucial for healing ent diseases, and chronic ment around the wound wounds, although some instead they stop at the breakthroughs recently and lacking in chronic wounds is no different. has been proven to accel- technology is still in the inflammation stage, and in the field of treating wound patients. Indeed, it was found that erate the healing process. developmental stage, the healing process is chronic wounds. The extracellular matrix miRNA levels in normal This involves using lactic they are showing great stopped completely. First, a biotechnology is composed of a variety acute and chronic wound acid bacteria as vectors promise. Chronic wounds Chronic wounds often company in Iceland of polysaccharides, water, healing differs; thus, the to produce and deliver a still affects millions of require amputations, and named Kerecis Ltd. has and collagen proteins, and under-expression and human chemokine (sig- patients, and the technol- may lead to death. developed ways to treat the scaffolding provided over-expression of certain nalling proteins) to the site ogies discussed in this Chronic wounds are wounds using materials by the matrix recruits cells miRNAs are responsible of the wound. The specific article may provide a cure associated with other made from fish skin. The which proliferate, differ- for disrupting the normal chemokine being upregu- for them. 13 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

TECH [email protected] Why Facebook “Protect” is all but protection

accounts. Beginning with this out a little more clearly may be flattered that they the last point, for the 20% in their Privacy policy, were first to get asked for of the world’s population writing “we may share (or their participation in this residing in China, Turkey, receive) information, in- bizarre scheme and have Iran or the UAE, places cluding personally-iden- been prompted since 2016 where arguably VPNs tifying information with to support Facebook’s are really needed, these (or from) our Affiliates” efforts to capture all parts services and even the [i.e. Facebook] and “assist of your digital life. Apple App store itself are law enforcement when Mark Zuckerberg’s has barred. On the second, it we have good-faith belief resolved in 2018 to make buries the switch which that such cooperation is “sure that time spent on determines whether your reasonably necessary”. To Facebook is well spent” server is routed to their put this in practical terms acknowledged “the rise of servers or not deep in the for those of you who need a small number of big tech user interface making it it, if you are hoping to companies — and govern- cumbersome to chance keep your romp through ments using technology those galoshes. On the the deep web a secret, to watch their citizens”. first point… don’t even Onavo could bring some Facebook Protect has, get me started! interesting advertising on in its own small way, If you scroll down Facebook. And if you are worsened this problem beyond the candy journalist, watchdog or a of the centralization of wrapping, to the para- lawyer dealing with sensi- knowledge – and with graph on “how it works” tive information, that app it, power. But there is you find out that your you probably would never time yet for to change questionable activities are notice could compromise the world’s largest social “used to gain insights into your work. network for better. the products and services If it is some small people value”. They spell comfort, Android users

Onavo claims to protect your privacy, but does it? // Online Hacker News

TECH app Facebook bought not already encrypt login in 2013. This supposed details when we use the Artur Donaldson safety-enhancing app is website? Tech Writer a VPN – a service which The three top reasons encrypts mobile data and you’d turn to a VPN is a) sends it via their servers. if you you’d temporarily his week, It also warns you if you prefer authorities not like WIRED reports visit malicious websites to know about your exact that Facebook and can protect your login cybernetic ramblings, has been trialling details when connecting b) if you’d like to safely Ta new feature for the iOS on public networks. What express yourself wearing Facebook app, called is not clear is why this is a different set of digital “Protect”. The little blue of any use while using galoshes or c) you would shield directs you to the Facebook’s own app – is like to access something App Store where you will Facebook going to warn which is not available in be prompted to download us if their site starts less liberal countries. “Onavo Protect”, an hosting malware? Do they Onavo fails on all Ultimately, all that Facebook is selling is an illusion of confidentialty // Odyssey 14 FELIX ISSUE 1687

ARTS [email protected]

Nikki Shiels in Picnic at Hanging Rock // Pia Johnson A powerful revival of the mystery of Hanging Rock The cult horror tale of missing schoolgirls in Australia gets an inventive twist in Tom Wright’s adaptation for the stage at the Barbican Centre.

ARTS that it is widely believed to. Edith is the hanger-on; voices and stark lighting scene is accompanied by blackouts and neon to be true, thanks partly she struggles to keep pace help your own imagina- a cryptic neon heading titles above the stage all PICNIC AT HANGING to Lindsay’s often coy and with the other girls and tion to create images far above the stage. Through combine to create a tense ROCK mysterious answers about begins to fall behind. As more sinister than what Michael and Miss Ap- atmosphere and instil real its basis in reality. Not she watches, the other could have been captured pleyard, Wright explores fear into the audience. having seen the film or girls vanish into the on stage. The switching themes of colonialism Director Matthew Lutton read the novel I came into rock. The five-strong cast perspective between the and power, centring on almost takes this minimal- Where? The Barbican the theatre with only a girls and the frequent Australia. What Michael ist style to an extreme, and Picnic at Hanging Rock was cursory knowledge of the blackout create a story has come to learn of the there are certainly points on 21-24th February story, but it was impossi- “Tom Wright’s told in cut scenes, remi- wilderness of Australia where it feels a little ble not to set expectations niscent of horror films. terrifies him. Miss Apple- overused. However, it Vaishnavi high when both the source adaptation The aftermath of the yard’s attempts to mould doesn’t, detract too much Gnanananthan material and its adaptation captures a girls’ disappearance takes Sara to her will mirrors from the overall effect of Arts Writer have been so successful. on a more conventional the attempt to tame and the play. The play starts with five palpable sense storytelling, with the conquer Australia. It’s Transferring art schoolgirls on a sparse scenes being acted on certainly innovative sto- between media is always n Valentine’s stage, narrating the events of horror ” stage. The narrators rytelling, but never quite a gamble and what makes Day, 1900, of Saturday, Valentine’s become actors in the story. reaches the same intensity an exceptional novel or three pupils and Day, 1900. Despite the There are searches for the as the opening of the play. film could always fall flat a teacher from setting of the play, they slowly move forwards as girls and their teacher, The five-member cast on the stage. This certain- OAppleyard College, an up- are wearing modern they speak, closer to the yet nothing is found. The is without question one ly isn’t the case with Tom per-class girls’ boarding school attire: blazers and audience and closer to the school community begins of the greatest strength of Wright’s adaptation of school, disappear during pleated skirts that would end of the stage. Their nar- unravelling and headmis- this production – they take Picnic at Hanging Rock. a class trip to Hanging not look out of place on a ration is interspersed with tress, Miss Appleyard, on different characters He manages to capture a Rock, a volcanic moun- secondary school student blackouts. It’s incredibly begins taking out her frus- with ease yet manage to palpable sense of horror tain in Victoria, Australia. in 2018. In 1900, after simple, but, somehow, tration on Sara, a girl who keep them distinct indi- with his narrative and also This is the premise of Joan the school group have very captivating. The cannot seem to fit into viduals. Elizabeth Nabben uses it to highlight impor- Lindsay’s 1967 novel and lunch, four of the girls, five actors are phenom- what society demands of and Amber McMahon are tant themes in the story. Peter Weir’s subsequent Miranda, Marion, Irma, enal and with only their an upper-class woman. particularly compelling The four-day run at The film adaptation, both sub- and Edith leave the rest voices and playwright Michael, an Englishman, as Miss Appleyard and Barbican was painfully jects of critical acclaim of the group to climb the Tom Wright’s words they embarks on a solitary quest Michael, respectively. The short for such a powerful and, arguably, cult classic rock. Miranda is clearly conjure up images of what to find the girls. These almost bare stage with its piece of work and it status. Though fictitious, the leader of the group, might have happened. The scenes are interspersed liberal use of black, the will, hopefully, return to the story is so compelling the one the other look up empty stage, their ringing with blackouts and each stark lighting, frequent London in the near future. 15 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

ARTS [email protected] Mark Dion – theatre of the natural world brings the Thames beaches to the Whitechapel Gallery Something of a hit and miss, a retrospective of Mark Dion’s work is most successful when it embraces the realities of nature.

ARTS wonder essential to either MARK DION field. In The Naturalist’s Study, Dion has decorated a room with couches, Where? Whitechapel drawings, illustrations, Gallery and sculptures, turning When? Until 13th May the gallery space into How Much? £12.95; £9.50 drawing room from two students hundred years ago. The décor is intended to evoke Nicolas Baird the aura of a 19th century Arts Writer naturalist, and the room’s props stand in as treasures collected from exotic he artwork in trips overseas. Some of Mark Dion’s ex- the work included makes hibition, Theatre passing hints at a conser- of the Natural vationist frame of mind: TWorld, feels like it was a black and white series made by someone who of photographs depicting loves the idea of the life stuffed polar bears lines sciences but hasn’t taken one wall. Other inclusions a science course since throw the façade out the secondary school. He’s window: all of the tables an American artist who are covered edge to edge combines a wide range with books Dion has of media into large-scale published, and which are sculptures, books, and on offer from the gift shop Detail from The Wonder Workshop, part of a retrospective at Whitechapel // V-A-C Foundation, Moscow installations. His work downstairs. No comment, deals with the ideas, either, on the daring its physical presence. It’s even a message in a bottle, work of naturalists and London on display in practices, and institutions explorers (or their collec- a beautiful piece – black are kept in an enormous, taxonomists. By actually the collection from the surrounding naturalists tions) who thrived on the mesh around barren double-sided wooden leaving his studio to ex- dredging are a celebration and natural history; he peak of natural history’s branches – and the care cabinet. The results of perience the natural world of the capital’s history has filled the three rooms imperialist wave. with which Dion and his each excavation site are and our relationship with of his solo exhibition at A giant black metal team have attended to kept on shelves and in nature and each other. The Whitechapel Gallery with birdcage dominates the the health and wellness drawers on either side of “Dion has care taken to organize an eclectic collection first of the gallery’s four of the birds is made clear the cabinet. Visitors are every object is an almost of flags, drawings, text, rooms. In the cage’s centre in the long list posted on invited to walk around the taken the joyful mirroring of the props, live birds, photo- stands the barren trunk of the gallery wall, titled piece, open drawers, and process natural scientists graphs, mannequins, and a large tree, and around it ‘Commonly Asked Ques- view all the specimens fantasy of have used to understand posters. lies a collection of books tions about the Birds’. under glass, which are the mysteries of life and I walked into this and objects related to the In the third room of the sorted into what Dion calls the armchair the world around us. At exhibition hoping to find study of birds. 22 live exhibition, I found the “taxonomies”: organized biologist out last, Dion has taken the relevant, contemporary zebra finches (Taeniopy- most exciting and concep- groups based on material, fantasy of the armchair work engaging with soci- gia guttata) and up to four tually elegant piece of the function, color, topology, of the study biologist out of the study ety’s complex relationship human visitors at a time night, a work from 1999 and morphology. and into the sunlight by with the natural world. (the maximum allowed in titled Tate Thames Dig. A fusion between and into the the Thames. Only by Instead, I found a series the cage) move through Dion and a crew of volun- museum exhibit and getting dirty and really of cinematic stage sets the space, and bring life teers dredged the topsoil archaeological dig, Tate sunlight ” engaging with the worlds designed to invoke dated to Dion’s fabricated world of two tidal beaches near Thames Dig successfully whose language he adopts fantasies of eccentrics of sets and props. The the Tate Britain and the brings together the visual can Mark Dion get out of and intellectuals, who, piece, called The Library (then still to be built) Tate aesthetics and physical and practice the scientific his own study and share like Dion himself, appear for the Birds of London Modern. Everything they processes of natural work he celebrates in the with us what there is to content to co-opt the visual grasps halfheartedly at uncovered, from horse history. Here, Dion finally rest of this exhibition, see. aesthetics of biology and one metaphor or the other teeth to oyster shells, carries out the tasks of Dion adds content and natural history without for the human condition, bullets, leather soles, toys, collecting and sorting weight to his stage sets. regard for the discipline or but its real strength is in ceramic fragments, rings, that are essential to the The fragments of 16 FELIX ISSUE 1687

BOOKS [email protected] An intellectual perspective on progress and positivity in Enlightenment Now With the help of the philosophies of the Enlightenment and a wealth of statistics, Steven Pinker’s new book seeks to answer questions of the current state of humanity.

argues, it is necessary to reformulate and remind ourselves of all the values the Enlightenment stands for. Humans are not natu- rally rational animals, but through the establishment of rules and norms, de- mocracies and markets, laws and constitutions, a free press and scientific societies we are capable of living up to the ideals of the enlightenment.

BOOKS “Are things Clemens Jakubec getting better Books writer or are we approaching a here is the world darker period headed? Are things of human Wgetting better or are we approaching a darker history?” The Enlightenment brought drama to art, as well as the ideas of logic and reason we still live by // Wikimedia period of human his- tory? In his new book Pinker thinks, and accuses empirical evidence. with the less optimistic perspective, maybe even Enlightenment Now: The One of the four pillars the pessimistic attitude of What he perhaps does worldviews of many other just a very slight shift. Case for Reason, Science, Pinker mentions stands a lot of academics, which fall foul of is a guile- public intellectuals and As Pinker argues, there Humanism, and Progress, out: progress. In contrast resonates with the media, less projection of what the increasingly pessimis- is no point in completely American cognitive to all the others, he points of leading people to focus happened in the past onto tic feelings of the general disregarding all the linguist Steven Pinker out, progress is meas- on the negative aspects of the future. Events, trends, public? I think they are. evidence for positive makes the case for a more urable and the question progress. and developments that change. On the other positive outlook for the of whether the world is The key question, of happened in the past under hand, it is wrong to think future of humanity. seeing progress and is course, is whether all this certain circumstances “Progress that science and reason His argument is mainly becoming more enlight- is just a feeble attempt to might not necessarily will sooner or later solve based on one thing, ened can be subjected to distract us from problem- happen in the same way has been every problem that namely a recollection scientific scrutiny. And atic trends or whether it in the future, even if the humanity has and will of the four pillars of the this is exactly what fills is actually a good ground circumstances remain happening encounter. What we need enlightenment: reason, most of the book: statistic for optimism. It is neither, unchanged. In general, his continuously, is to rediscover all the science, progress, and after statistic from all I would say. Saying that argument is surrounded great things that happened humanism. Pinker has sorts of areas from wealth Pinker turns a blind eye by a hands-on buckle-up but that it is as a result of the enlight- been a strong advocate for and health to death by to any of the issues the “yes, we can” mentality. enment and that is, I think, all of them for many years. poisoning, one of the very world faces today would Sure, climate change certainly not what Enlightenment Now Today the principles of few negative trends he be too easy. After all, poses a huge challenge, aims to do. It is a gentle the Enlightenment laid mentions. All of them are he does stress the point but we can deal with it inevitable” reminder for people who out by thinkers such as associated with what most that progress has been and if we just try, progress are fed a diet of bad news, Kant, Voltaire, and Hume people would call progress happening continuously, in all its various mani- that progress is happening have become part of the of some form and are but that it is certainly not festations will eventually Obviously, Steven and that so far, in spite of public mindset and their presented as the objective inevitable. Neither can he sort it out. His scientism Pinker does not expect us war, famine, and disease, ideas are so ingrained proof of the effect, which be accused of mindless and unbeatable faith in to break down and shed humanity has managed to into people that the actual the enlightenment has had optimism; optimism yes, science in this sense are hot tears of joy as we set up a framework, that original ideas have faded on our lives. but in no way mindless obvious. marvel at the wonders we makes a better future a into the background. The issue is that modern since he does his best to So, are Pinker’s humans have created. I genuine possibility. Therefore, Pinker intellectuals hate progress, back up his claims with arguments reconcilable think it is about a shift in 17 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

BOOKS [email protected] Willis’ macabre and amusing science fiction classic

the past. by one, they began to fall Concerned about the victim to the plague. dangers of travelling back Meanwhile back at to such an unfamiliar time, Oxford, people react a critical professor warns crazily to the influenza her of all the possible outbreak, as they try to dangers she will face – make sense of it in hilar- diseases, poor sanitation, ious ways – much like rape, being burned as a what Kivrin is seeing a witch… Yet all of those few centuries back. worries prove to be su- Funny characters add perficial when they realize to the panic and confu- they made a mistake, and sion. Amongst them are BOOKS she has actually landed in Mrs Gaddson, an overly the year the Black Death concerned mother of a Yang Guo reached Oxford, in the student at the university, Books writer Christmas of 1348! Mean- who constantly complains while, a mysterious strain of poor living conditions, of influenza is spreading and how it must have an ow might one quickly back in the Oxford adverse effect on her son. The Black Death still has a lasting impact that will continue beyond 2053 // Wikimedia interact with of her time, and in the Later on, she takes to people from the ensuing panic, it becomes reading passages about regulations and ignores travelling unconvincing. inaccuracies, which distant past if uncertain whether anyone doom and plague from the common hygiene practic- Why would anyone be lessen the book. Hone were allowed to time will be able to arrange her Bible to influenza victims. es, and treats the influenza sent back towards such The length of the book travel there? rescue. Although she was enter- outbreak as some kind a dangerous time when might be shortened, This was the question The best part of the taining at the start, she of huge adventure. Sur- it is possible to send a whilst still delivering the posed by Connie Willis in novel is the chapters became background noise prisingly, his personality machine back instead? Or main points, as repeti- her science fiction novel, concerning Kivrin’s at the end when the author proves to be useful when just consult contemporary tiveness is a major issue The Doomsday Book. The encounters with people did not allow any more he is sent on a mission by sources? After all, a in the strange influenza novel is set in Oxford from 1348, which seemed developments on her part. the staff. monk who had apparently epidemic chapters. None- University, at around so real that I began to feel Another amusing char- Nonetheless, there written it all down after theless, the book is still Christmas time, 2053. attached to the characters acter is Colin, the young are several aspects of everyone else died was worth reading for Kivrin’s A young woman called and their village. All of nephew of one of the the novel which could constantly referred to by interactions with a set of Kivrin, a historian, is sent this is brought to a dev- doctors. He walks around be improved. I found the characters. There are memorable medieval back in time to research astating end when, one disregarding all health the pretext for time also some minor factual characters. Felix is recruiting!

We want you – yes, you! We’re looking for writers, photographers, editors, illustrators, reporters, computer experts and grammar nerds to join our team. No experience needed – we’ll teach you everything you need to know. If you’re interested, send us an email on [email protected]

18 Your Union events Friday 2 March

Tuesday Saturday cocktail club edition

iop r Mix & match any Only Saturday 3 March two cocktails £7.00 20:00 - 02:00 Choose from Mojito, Long Island Iced Tea, Club Reynolds is back for a big Saturday night! Russian Moscow Mule or Cuba Libre free entry

Coming up in our bars

est. 1957

uper ui otail lu ree ool er e er e l

otail it u ui u ui er e er r er e

enea ria lu enol er ee er r r rc letion eult art in u on aeoo in u on aeoo r rc .co/r .co/reolrc

in u on aeoo .co/er

Get exclusive offers, discounts and more on our bars’ Facebook pages. imperialcollegeunion.org/aton FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

FILM [email protected] FILM [email protected] Felix Film’s guide to the Oscars – who will win, who should win, and who’ve been left out in the cold

Best Picture Best Director Best Original Screenplay Best Adapted Screenplay t’s been a complicated awards season. Call Me by Your his year’s Best Director race has been one of the most hether creating an original screenplay or adapt- hen the nominees were announced back in Name started out in the lead when it picked up the Gotham fiercely competitive in recent memory, yet it appears ing a pre-existing work for the screen is harder January I wrote that “one could have desperate- Award back in November, but next month the National Guillermo del Toro will come out on top for his swirl- remains an open question. What can be said for ly scribbled down the ingredients from the back Board of Review of Motion Pictures decided to award ing fantasy romance The Shape of Water. It couldn’t certain about all the nominees for Best Original of a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup on a napkin Itheir top prize to Steven Spielberg’s The Post. Greta Gerwig’s Thappen to a nicer guy. Del Toro’s direction is superb, yet the WScreenplay this year, however, is that they have all managed to Wfive minutes before the nominations went out and still been in Lady Bird and Martin McDonagh’s Three Billboards Outside most perfect work comes from our current greatest director, create their own sense of time and place. The winner is likely with a chance of an Adapted Screenplay nod”. I stand by that Ebbing, Missouri then moved to the front of the pack when Paul Thomas Anderson, in his swirlier, more fantastical, and to be Martin McDonagh’s Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, statement. Call Me by Your Name, from the legendary James both picked up Best Film at the Golden Globes, and since more romantic Phantom Thread. Where Del Toro is inspired, Missouri – the Academy continues their long-running fixation Ivory, is the only truly outstanding work. The Academy would then, Three Billboards has gone on to win at the SAG awards Anderson is flawless, and so should come out on top. Alas this with people saying improbably witty things very quickly. A have done well to recognise Sofia Coppola’s steamy femme and the BAFTAs, cementing it as the frontrunner in the race. award will continue to evade him as it did the likes of Kubrick much worthier winner would be Greta Gerwig for Lady Bird – fatale reimagining of Thomas P. Cullinan’s The Beguiled over While Lady Bird and Get Out remain dark horses in the race, and Hitchcock – there’s no shame in that. The likes of Luca 93 minutes of delicately crafted dialogue that pays homage to Aaron Sorkin’s unnecessarily tell-not-show Molly’s Game I’d say the only film with a realistic chance of dethroning Guadagnino, Denis Villeneuve, and Sean Baker can rightly the relationship between mothers and daughters. Paul Thomas script. Sorkin has become the Streep of his craft, rewarded Three Billboards is Guillermo Del Toro’s The Shape of Water. feel aggrieved at being shut out by lesser works by debutants Anderson’s Phantom Thread, with its stomach-turning explo- over others more deserving based on his reputation. AL It should be an exciting night. Mark Aduol Greta Gerwig and Jordan Peele. Ashley Luckyram ration of power dynamics, is a striking omission. FF

Will win: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Will win: Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water) Will win: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Will win: Call Me by Your Name Should win: The Shape of Water Should win: Paul Thomas Anderson (Phantom Thread) Should win: Lady Bird Should win: Call Me by Your Name Shoulda been a contender: The Handmaiden Shoulda been a contender: Luca Guadagnino (Call My by Your Name) Shoulda been a contender: Phantom Thread Shoulda been a contender: The Beguiled

Best Actor Best Actress Best Animated Feature Best Foreign Language Film hen people make lists of great actors who have t is all but guaranteed that Frances McDormand will run t was to be expected that once again the animation Fantastic Woman is A Fantastic Film, with Daniela never won an Oscar, Gary Oldman is no doubt away with this award for her portrayal of anti-heroine, category will be underwhelming and underappreciated. Vega spearheading what could be A Fantastic a regular feature. And that is firmly where he Mildred Hayes, in Martin McDonagh’s drama, Three With this year’s controversial rule change, allowing any Breakthrough for trans cinema. But in this hotly should remain. Caked in make-up, Oldman Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Three Billboards member with an interest in animation to cast their votes, contested category, it is hard to tell who will Wbellows his way through Joe Wright’s clunky Darkest Hour Iis told primarily through the eyes of grief-stricken mother Iit is worse than ever. On the surface this may seem like a step Awin. Going up against Palme d’Or winner The Square and in a performance a world away from his best. Meanwhile Hayes, who serves as a vessel for McDonagh’s trademark in the right direction, but looking at the nominations this year Loveless, a Cannes jury favourite and bookies’ favourite, the Day-Lewis reunites with Paul Thomas Anderson in Phantom potion of caustic wit and darkly comedic dialogue. Some is tragic. Loving Vincent is an amazing feat of animation, and Oscar could go any way. With 92 films submitted for this cat- Thread for the final performance of an astonishing career. The have said that by juxtaposing Mildred’s superficial black Coco is a great movie, tugging at the heartstrings of kids and egory this year, it is interesting to see how different the Oscar last time the two worked together resulted in one of the finest humour with the inner turmoil caused by the rape and murder adults alike, but when they are up against John Cena and Boss nominations were to the Baftas and those who didn’t make the performances ever seen on screen, and once again Day-Lewis of her daughter, McDonagh has crafted a tonally inconsistent Baby it just feels like the Academy are taking the piss. Now cut. Most notably missing Angelina Jolie’s First They Killed delivers the best work of the year. For his last role he wrongly character. However, one could also argue that the difficulty more than ever the Oscars seem out of touch with animation my Father, Netflix super success Okja, and, more tragically, beat out Joaquin Phoenix to claim a record third Best Actor in authentically portraying a character that is simultaneously and although Coco is a great movie and deserves to win, Boss the absence of Bafta winner The Handmaiden, which made a trophy. For his final ever role, he should be allowed to extend heartbroken, vengeful, compassionate, and humorous is Baby should win just to wake the academy and the film world strong fight for the Palme d’Or and snapped up the coveted that record to four. AL reason enough to award McDormand the Oscar. MD up and completely reform this category. Mikhail Demtchenko Felix Film Best Picture award. MD

Will win: Gary Oldman (Darkest Hour) Will win: Frances McDormand (Three Billboards) Will win: Coco Will win: Loveless (Russia) Should win: Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread) Should win: Frances McDormand (Three Billboards) Should win: Coco Should win: A Fantastic Woman (Chile) Shoulda been a contender: James Franco (The Disaster Artist) Shoulda been a contender: Vicky Krieps (Phantom Thread) Shoulda been a contender: Okja Shoulda been a contender: The Handmaiden (South Korea)

Best Supporting Actor Best Supporting Actress Best Documentary Best Original Score f there’s one injustice we should be upset about in s with the other acting categories, the choice for ast year’s O.J.: Made in America, which won the Oscar this day and age, it is without a doubt the exclusion of Best Supporting Actress seems apparent: odds for Best Documentary, broke the mould, clocking in ith the Hans Zimmer votes being split between Michael Stuhlbarg in the Best Supporting Actor category. are Allison Janney will win for her role in the at over 460 minutes long. In this ceremony, however, Dunkirk and Bladerunner 2049 at the Baftas ‘For what film?’ I hear you ask – well this is the question. black comedy biopic I, Tonya. There’s a chance, things are largely back to normal: five documentaries, Alexandre Desplat managed to beat out compe- IStuhlbarg has been in three of the stand-out films this year, Ahowever, a different mother may win: Laurie Metcalf would Lon a wide range of subjects, competing for the crown. Icarus, tition to take home the award to put alongside and for each he could deserve a nomination; but it was in Call make a more-than-worthy winner for her portrayal of Marion a fast-paced doc on the Russian Olympic doping program, is Whis Golden Globe. This comes at no surprise, with Desplat’s Me by Your Name he shone brightest, delivering the most McPherson, the emotional centrepiece of Greta Gerwig’s Lady likely to be the winner. Agnès Varda and JR’s documentary romantic fantasy style score perfectly accenting the relation- memorable moment of a beautiful film. If there were any jus- Bird. What is perhaps most heartening about this category, Faces Places would be a more unique winner, and – given ships in the movie. However the Oscars could be a different tice in the world, he would be nominated, and Willem Dafoe however, is how it is celebrating older women who are all it is likely to be Varda’s last film – a worthier one. Frederick story: with only one Hans Zimmer film being nominated and would win for his performance in Sean Baker’s The Florida too often written off in the film industry. She may bring the Wiseman, who was awarded an Honorary Award at last year’s the academy primed to throw their votes his direction, he may Project. But the world is a cruel place: Woody Harrelson is on average age down, but it would have been nice to see Michelle ceremony, should have garnered a nomination for Ex Libris, finally pick up his second oscar. There rest of the nominations the nominations list, Sam Rockwell will take home the statue, Williams on the list, for her Katharine Hepburn-esque turn in his warm-hearted, tender portrayal of the New York Public are not to be trifled with either: with legend John Williams, and there is no God. Fred Fyles All the Money in the World. FF Library system, dizzying in scope but intimate in mood. FF Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood, and Coen veteran Carter Burwell, this certainly is a stacked category. MD Will win: Sam Rockwell (Three Billboards) Will win: Allison Janney (I, Tonya) Should win: Willem Dafoe (The Florida Project) Should win: Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird) Will win: Icarus Will win: Hans Zimmer (Dunkirk) Shoulda been a contender: Michael Stuhlbarg (Call Me by Shoulda been a contender: Michelle Willams (All the Should win: Faces Places Should win: Alexandre Desplat (The Shape of Water) Your Name) Money in the World) Shoulda been a contender: Ex Libris Shoulda been a contender: Oneohtrix Point Never (Good Time)

20 21 #voteicu

Inside this supplement are the manifestos for candidates in key positions. To see all manifestos, visit imperialcollegeunion.org/elections. All information enclosed came directly from the candidates, has not been altered, and any views expressed are entirely their own. All information correct at the time of print. Candidate Manifestos: Union President

Dmitrii Usynin your right to prosperity, truth, and bliss. There is so much more I want to write, This means replacing 568 and Metric but this margin is too small to contain Once a symbol of prosperity, truth, and by a Wetherspoon’s on my first day in it. Let my actions speak louder than bliss, Imperial College London is now office. This means tearing down Huxley any words. Make ICU great. For once. a mere wraith of its past. The Imperial and rebuilding the old Imperial Institute. Think of what Trump would say if he College Union has stood idly by. This This means organising student strikes. was running. - Constantin, campaign will end. Who voted for the abolition This means attracting sponsors a la manager, Ghostwriter 2k18. of Stella, the JCR’s opening times, and DocSoc, who will pay for my coronation overpriced Tanpopo? Who voted for party. People voted for me as the welfare the abandoned library door? And when rep for a reason. I will bring back joy exactly did ICU relinquish hope and and welfare in your life. You may think vision? I promise to you I will drain the “why should I trust a man in a unicorn swamp of disinterest and incompetence costume”? Because not all heroes wear within ICU. I campaign for the many, not masks, some wear unicorn costumes for the next-to-no-one. I will fight for instead. Because I am your only hope.

Dex Oseman

No manifesto submitted.

Max Stocker conducting world-changing research is more efficient and accessible to us all. a stakeholder in ethically questionable We also need to realise that we are only This college has so much potential to industries. We hold the unflattering title of treating symptoms here - I will look into be an amazing place for each and every the most unequal university in England. the aspects of the college that generate one of us and I want to be the president I find this shameful and will launch a stress, and eliminate them. I believe in who brings that about. I want to make review into the main causes of this Imperial and I know it can be a great the union our union, not just another and push for the Social Mobility Officer university, but we need to work to get branch of the college: I’ll improve its position. The efforts towards improving there. If you want to see some change, communication with the student body, mental health and well being have been toss me your votes. seeking out feedback and suggestions positive and admirable, yet more needs in person and via social media. I’d to be done. The counselling service here put pressure on the college to make is not what it could be, one of my main changes to its dubious endowment fund, focuses will be to work with the college it’s embarrassing that our institution to reduce wait times, making the service

Michael Edwards here - from three years as a Wilson Hall and projects * Form a new Union Senior to two years leading the RCSU as Entertainments Committee - more Catering outlets cut. A counselling President and Secretary. diverse social events service bursting at the seams. Our staff My Plan Peer Support * Review the Mums and striking on . It’s a poorly- The “Imperial Experience” * Pressure Dads programme, and support club kept secret that something at Imperial College to reverse changes to Campus “buddy schemes” * Support Hall Seniors isn’t right, and it can be hard to tell if Services and student provision * Open and Reps year-round * Drive culture students are a priority to this institution. membership of Faculty Unions to change at Imperial to make all students Now more than ever, we need a Union postgrads and review Union’s postgrad feel welcome and valued that will actively fight for us. A Union provision * Expand Union presence to Clubs support * Streamline payment unafraid to take risks in its mission for White City and other satellite campuses. processes and room bookings for club change. A Union that delivers for ALL its Student-led democracy * Create a activities * Review spaces for student members, no matter how engaged they bottom-up, volunteer-driven Union clubs are. I believe I am the person to lead including officers and reps in decision- For a Union that works for all, vote this Union. I’ve been an active member making * Work towards 50% student Michael! of our community throughout my time representation on College boards Candidate Manifestos: Union President

Robert Tomkies Dads”. What do I want? I want to ensure Imperial mascot - Do we really want a fresh ideas come through the union lion? Wellbeing: * Wednesday opening Imperial is changing. My broad so that we can make long standing of the advice centre and introduction of experience means I am excellently positive change while building on the Skype appointments. * Increase student positioned to lead and oversee us successes of this year’s team. What are support for welfare and campaigns through these changes, ensuring that my goals? Finance and Services * Better at non-South Kensington campuses. the outcomes you get, are the ones funding for your constituent unions, Strategy: * Guaranteed internal varsity. that you want. As RSMU president I clubs and societies through a centralised * Campaign to secure increased student currently represent over 1000 students sponsorship support centre. * Better food, study space available to all through re- in matters ranging from education and including halal and vegan, at all hours, purposing the newly vacated chemistry welfare to clubs and socials. In my four at all campuses through conducting a building. For all my ideas and experience years at Imperial I have held positions in complete catering review. Clubs and see:http://robforpresident.strikingly.com/ sports, DepSocs and a constituent union, Societies: * Ethos expansion with usage- Rate ideas? Rate experience? Rate Rob alongside helping with departmental based equipment - lets end the over- mentoring, tutoring and “Mums and crowding. * A referendum on the Sport

Maurice Yap

Vote me, Tony Peng, to be your next Bio Soc president.

Mahmoud El-Khatib

To end the tyranny of previous regimes that have forced us to queue outside metric, led to the increase price of fusion and the removal of Stella at the union. I hold previous presidents responsible. It’s time for change. When milk turns stale, we throw it out. Vote Mahmoud for president and I pledge to end the union.

Andrew Duckworth

Vote for Duckworth for a stronger union and a brighter tomorrow!#livetheduckworthway Candidate Manifestos: Union President

Balthasar Braunewell

No manifesto submitted.

Oliver Duff y

No manifesto submitted.

Kyle-James Condon have removed VAT. * The ICU ticketing to clear the air and renew its focus. As system is unfi t for purpose. More tickets your president I will: * Lobby College than are available are regularly sold; in heavily on food prices, the current Imperial College Union is ineff ective, one ticket sale this year the union website situation is unacceptable. * Deliver on it has become rigid and bureaucratic. crashed a full ten minutes BEFORE the a new ticketing system with up-most Change is nigh impossible and the union sale. Constituent Unions and DepSocs priority. * Introduce new union policy to feels unaccountable and opaque. Along have resorted to using EventBrite to introduce a restriction on proportion of with this there are serious failures to sell place-holder tickets. * Societies budget spent on a single guest per event. address issues of importance: There is no running events which consume large Further restricting artifi cially infl ating substantial campaign on the hefty food amounts of their budgets for a minority membership by advertising large society prices on campus. Prices have increased of members is unacceptable. Examples events to non members. Vote for a new substantially over Christmas leading include spending an obscene proportion union, vote @Kyle Condon. food on campus to be a no option for of budget on an event available to 2% of lots of students. For example lunch at members (Including committee). Our the sandwich shop in the JCR could cost union needs a change of leadership you upwards of £6, and that’s AFTER they Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Education)

Alejandro Luy in Curriculum Reviews * As part of (maybe you!) to shape their own the Learning and Teaching Strategy, educations. PG Timetabling This is still an There have never been so many curriculum are being re-written across issue, and it really shouldn’t be. Just like opportunities for students to shape their college and I am committed to seeing DPE’s before me, I will continue to fight own education at Imperial. Vote for students integrated into the process to protect your Wednesday afternoons. me to ensure that the Imperial College from start to end. Enhancement of the Experience * 3 years as an Academic Union and its Academic Representatives Academic Representation Network Representative (2 years as Year Rep, 1 take advantage of these opportunities to * I will develop practical training year as Dep Rep) * 1 year as Academic make your education what you want it materials and effective communication Affairs Officer for the CGCU International to be. Choose #LuyforDPE for: channels to ensure that your Academic Education Experience * attended 6 Improved Feedback * Feedback at Representatives have the training and schools on 3 continents. Imperial should be a strength, not a resources they need to represent you For more information check out: weakness. I will continue the work of well. Implementation of StudentShapers My Website: luyfordpe.weebly.com the current DPE so that every student at * I will spearhead the implementation of Facebook Event: www.facebook.com/ Imperial College receives timely, high- the new StudentShapers scheme, which events/1996084530711055/ quality feedback. Student Involvement provides paid opportunities for students #LuyforDPE

Jude Merzah No manifesto submitted.

Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Welfare)

and campaigning for LGBT+ affairs expand Ethos and ensure it is kept for all Matthew Hayward especially during Pride in London and to use. ECONOMIC ACCESSIBILITY * I Your welfare matters. Your DPW must Birmingham. MENTAL HEALTH * Over have first-hand experience of financial listen compassionately, be sympathetic 65% waited over a week for counselling limitations at Imperial, and will continue and supportive, and, most importantly, service appointments, many over three recent work promoting the existence of fight your corner to help advance and weeks - with demand for these services support funds. CAMPAIGNS * Training develop the College’s approach to ever growing and Health Centre funding for liberation officers to help enable student wellbeing. I am that person cuts reported, I will lobby the College effective student-led campaigns. * - enthusiastic, experienced and for much needed increases in provision Actively supporting student societies determined to represent YOU and for mental health related therapy. * with campaigning ideas. UNION * Work push for the greatest improvements Working with Mentality to encourage with the DPE to address timetabling to welfare provision. I have experience staff and student training in mental issues. * Supplement wellbeing network over my four years at IC in supporting health first aid, complementing the training and structure with resources to welfare across College while holding active bystander campaign. PHYSICAL use throughout the year. * Your welfare positions in community societies, in HEALTH * Designate lunchtime napping matters. Vote Matt. particular sexual health enlightenment and rest areas. * Provide healthier food and provision, along with volunteering options across all campuses. * Lobby to

Rebecca Neil resourced and delivered by College Experience: * RCSU Vice President across all campuses. * Cut counselling Operations - overseeing/assisting the Welfare is a major issue facing students waiting times and review the missed FONS welfare rep network and RCSU and College are finally acknowledging appointments policy. * Subsidise welfare week and attending faculty and and listening to students. College must tampons/sanitary products further * Stop departmental Staff-Student Committees. deliver efficient, resourced, fully-funded talking about personal tutors and make * Union Council FONS UG Ordinary services and be held to account for their changes * Support student-led, liberation Member * Governance Steering Group welfare decisions. College is currently and community officer campaigns * developing a consultation strategy for the compiling the Wellbeing Strategy and Collect student suggestions/complaints review of the governance of the union I plan to make sure this strategy has using an anonymous online system * * Vice Chair BioChemSoc- LfS Year Rep student consultation, is efficient in More training, support and development for 3 years * Experience coaching people providing the services you need and is for Wellbeing Representation Network with disabilities and neurodivergence. delivered to its best. You need a DPW volunteers * Ensure freshers receive * Lead tutor for Pimlico Connections that can provide this, and I have the adequate information regarding self- tutoring disadvantaged students * experience, passion and drive to ensure care, welfare, well-being and where to Trained in Safeguarding * Events officer this happens. Objectives: * Ensure find help regardless of where they live. * for Pole & Aerial#VoteBeckyshewontNeil the Wellbeing Strategy is fully-funded, Run union-wide Mums and Dads events #VoteBecky Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Finance & Services)

Claudia Caravello another Bud Light incident doesn’t departmental spaces available to happen again! * Info-graphics on how CSPs * Quicker sponsorship contract Hi, I’m Claudia, a 4th year Civil Engineer Union income is spent on YOU FOOD approval and greater support from with the experience and determination & DRINK * Focus on Union food quality Union * Lunchtime drop-in sessions- to make real lasting changes to and deals * Introduce online ordering Useful, quality training, delivered at the improve your time at Imperial. As system right times EXTERNAL INCOME * Make CGCU President, I work with CSPs * Bring back SCR breakfast, or start it at the Union less dependent on student on a day-to-day basis and oversee a the Union * Reduce queues at Library spending * Develop online shop to sell budget of £300,000. Additionally, I’m 1 Cafe and College Cafe -Bring back bendy to global alumni/prospective students of 2 students overseeing the new drink straws TRANSPORT * Advertise facilities to public during supplier deals in the Union bars, which * Transport to Harlington on Mondays the holidays * Generate income from means I also have a deep insight into and Wednesdays * Ensure students get eActivities by licencing to other Unions the running and finances of the bars. My home safe by introducing an end-of- Full Manifesto: voteclaudia.in promises: STUDENTS AT THE HEART OF night Union minibus drop off system- Vote CLAUDIA to GIVE VALUE BACK TO DECISIONS *Making YOU the decision Improve minibuses upkeep CSPs * STUDENTS! makers of events and big changes, so Negotiate with College to make more

Ella Rice long sponsorship deal for the club- App - including a real-time function to Secured the Harlington Grant for the determine where it would be quickest The DPFS is responsible for the bars club * Regularly made major budgeting to get lunch. * Revolutionise eActivities, and services of Imperial College decisions for the club’s 100 members club mailing list and room bookings alongside financial responsibilities Full Manifesto: electella.com White City * Ensure the movement of including sponsorship, marketing and What I want to achieve - Bars * Prevent a community, not just a building * Will development. Why Me? As Manager of under-staffing - give staff financial work with College to provide student the Union’s bars, you may recognise intensives to work busy nights * Reduce prices for Lunch, Dinner and Bars me from behind the bar serving you queueing - increase capacity and *Lobby college for on site student cafes, some curly fries or a snakebite. * make structural changes to the queues shops and bars Worked at the Union’s bars for all 4 years into and within the venue *Introduce Reduce Waste * Reduce plastic and of my degree * Jointly accountable more Yoyo loyalty schemes for regular food waste on campus to align with the for £1.6 million in sales at the bar * products eg. buy five get one free on core values of the Union Financially managed Summer Ball curly fries, burgers and pints. Services Elect Experience. Elect Ella. 2017 * President of Imperial College * Implement an affordable ‘meal deal’ Fencing Club-Helped secure a 3-year across campus. * Update Imperial

Ali Malik

No manifesto submitted.

Alexander Dean history providing experience in dealing freeze in the Union bars * More free with vast sums as well as budgeting. My phone charging ports at Reynolds and The services Imperial College Union time as ICSM Lacrosse Tour and Stash the Union * Develop app for ordering run have a direct impact on students’ has given an understanding into how food in FiveSixEight * Reynolds library experiences during their time at Imperial ICSM clubs function and what they want. open until 10pm on weekdays and and it is imperative to use students’ ideas Here are a few of my main objects for 11pm during exam periods. Check out and feedback to improve them. You need next year: * Implement online petition my Facebook event for a more detailed someone with the ideas, the drive and system on the Union website to allow description of my objectives. the experience to improve our Union in students to easily express their opinions the way students want. My four years at on how their Union is being run * Imperial have given me the opportunity Streamline sponsorship process for clubs to meet Imperial students from all walks and societies to allow clubs to get the of life and find out what they want to money they need ASAP * Fix the SALUS change. As the current President of injury reporting system * Develop and ACC Snowsports I organised and ran e-activities app making claiming quicker the largest club tour in Imperial College and easier * Continue the drinks price Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Clubs & Societies)

James Medler space * Investigate external gym and union processes work (ie minibuses), space provider partnerships across through mediums such as infographics Hi, I’m James and in the last three years I London- Pressure college for an ONLINE CSP SUPPORT PORTAL * Create have spent two as Snowsports President, investment into a wider range of sport an online space for queries directing and this year as Sports (ACC) Chair. I and wellbeing facilities DEDICATED you to the relevant people immediately know that Clubs and Societies are one of ATHLETICS HUB * Join key parts of Sport REGULAR OPEN OFFICE MEETINGS / A the most important and heavily involved Imperial and the Union, to make one FRIENDLIER UNION * Regular update aspects of your extra-curricular activity team accountable for sporting decisions, meetings on my progress open to all * at Imperial, yet there are not adequate with a student decision-maker at the top Regular open offi ce times for students to resources available to support you. I have MORE BOOKABLE SPACE / PROCESS come with queries * Regular visits to CSP seen these problems fi rst hand, currently IMPROVEMENT * Pressure college to activities to see problems fi rst hand being responsible for over 50 clubs, and prioritise clubs and societies bookings in believe I have the experience and know under-utilised space * Ensure CSPs have how to fi nd solutions and make it easier the appropriate space for their activity, to run a student society. EXPAND ETHOS and what is required to do their activity GYM *Pressure College to expand gym * Ensure students understand how key

Loris Biancheri

No manifesto submitted. Candidate Manifestos: Council Chair

Lloyd James stamping Reports. * Hours are wasted procedures. * Ensure that all policies due arguing over tedious bureaucratic details. for renewal are examined and revised It’s obvious that College doesn’t always * New Council members are poorly in plenty of time for scrutiny before have student interests as a priority: cutting trained. * Important business bypasses expiring. My experience:* Involved with catering outlet hours, underfunding the Council without sufficient scrutiny. I’m Council since 2015. * Previous roles: Counselling Service, and supporting deeply frustrated by these failings. So I RCSU President, PhySoc President, both brutal cuts to staff pensions exemplify this. propose to: * Mandate existing Council Physics UG and PG Dep Rep. Lobbied The Student Union should be a powerful subcommittees to formulate policy for:* More accessible Council meeting voice in fighting for students’ interests, proposals to provide Council with more space (wheelchair accessible and with but too often it fails at this. Union Council business of substance. * Develop clear reduced background noise).* Ending (our parliament’ - elected students from procedures to take complex/bureaucratic the zero-tolerance policy on late work across the university meet there to matters outside of meetings. * Require submission. * Union role representing represent you) should be leading this sabbatical reports to describe planned economically disadvantaged students. fight, but it has a number of key failings:* future activities for Council to scrutinise. So vote Lloyd for a Union Council that Meetings often have little meaningful * Provide comprehensive training is a vehicle for real, positive change for discussion and consist only of rubber- documentation explaining key Council students.

Alex Compton modernise and open up Council’s reach. place at the highest level of the Union. Live streaming of Council debates and I have the ideas and the experience Union Council is our primary student regular student polls will allow you to to support and shape our democratic decision making body within the Union, engage more easily and be heard. * An structures so they work for you. Find out yet few students know about it and online ideas platform - I will support all more at: http://chippyforcouncilchair. even fewer directly engage with it. Your students to present their ideas to Council strikingly.com/ Your Voice Matters. Vote voice matters and I want every student and help you create constructive debates. Chippy for Council Chair. at Imperial to be able to bring their ideas Through an online ideas platform all forward. As Union President this year, I students will be able to submit proposals am reforming our democratic structures for debate and have the support they and building a more engaging, effective need to take forward their ideas.* Strong and open platform for you. I want to communication - I will provide a strong continue this work as Council Chair. If student voice on the Trustee Board elected, I will work for: * A more inclusive and will keep you informed about the council - We can utilise technology to discussions you care about that take

DEBATE LIVESTREAM

18:30, Wednesday 7 March 2018

Tune in with your questions facebook.com/imperialcollegeunion Candidate Manifestos: Felix Editor

Basheer Akhtarzai

No manifesto submitted.

Andrew Djaba the Union works A VOICE FOR ALL: * - editing, writing, illustrating, and more! Work closely with the Liberation Officers INCREASED FRESHER INVOLVEMENT: Hi! I’m Andy Djaba, and I’m Felix’s current (BME, LGBT+, Disabilities, etc.) to ensure * Maintain active presence at Freshers’ Music Editor. I’ve been involved in Felix for consistent representation of students Fair and ensure those who expressed the last two years, as a writer and editor. from all backgrounds * Collaborate with interest are contacted immediately to I’ve thoroughly enjoyed laying out pieces Constituent Unions to ensure diversity retain their interest * Run tutorials and every week and I want every student to of voices * Hold the College, Union, and workshops to develop people’s skills and have the opportunity to get involved! A sabbatical officers to account to ensure increase their confidence * Ensure Felix’s vote for Andy is a vote for: EXPERIENCE: all students’ interests are met IMPROVED fresher issue is in all halls * As a member of the Editorial team, STUDENT ENGAGEMENT: * Ensure all VOTE ANDY FOR FELIX EDITOR! I’ve got the insight to know where Felix students are aware of how easy it is to #FELIXFOREVER can improve * I’ve got the experience to get involved in Felix * Develop the Felix hit the ground running and make Felix website further and increase social media better than ever! * My involvement in presence * Make Felix bigger than ever, various societies means I know how with more opportunities to get involved

Jennifer Lea haribo with each copy like the Beano did from puzzles * Use leftover FELIXs * Not stop laughing * Weekly £/pint/% alc to make a big papier mache DARTS Hello. You may recognise me from my comparison so you know the cheapest ARENA. * Hold a referendum to adopt debut as a FELIX ARTS writer earlier this way to DRINK PINTS while watching an official policy on the plural of FELIX year. I’m perfect for this role. I am edgy DARTS * Change the FELIX cat to HAM (FELIXs? FELIXes? FELII? FELICES? ??? AF. My pledges: * Replace FELIX ARTS cat (see video)- Weekly £/gram of ham DARTS???) * Crowdsource FELIX articles with FELIX DARTS * Print on sustainable so you know the cheapest way to have on GoogleDocs forms (or AmazonDocs or recycled paper, or make FELIX edible * a SANDWICH while watching DARTS * @JeffBezos) * Release FELIX on a Actually, replace FELIX SPORTS with FELIX Make FELIX landscape \textit {and slightly Wednesday, my dudes * Rename FELIX DARTS too - Move the centrefold to page rotated} sdrawkcab dnA * Marginal Editor position to Newspaper Daddy three * Then put a pull-out TV times weight saving by cutting out all the holes * Remain a member of the European there, so you know when you can watch in letters. This will also save the trees. Also Union* some DARTS * Make the font comic sans you can watch the DARTS through your MatchWordLimitsExactly #voteLea(ve) (2018 is the year of comic sans didn’t newspaper. Holes are excellent DARTS you know?) * Give out drumstick lollies/ targets. * BAN nonogram of ketamine

Samuel Hanrahan

No manifesto submitted. Candidate Manifestos: Student Trustees

Owen Heaney good work has been done, there is still Liberation Reviews are implemented in much to be done to ensure that the full and in a timely fashion * Open up The Board of Trustees is the Union’s Union is truly democratic and makes the Board by making sure that details of highest body, able to overturn any decisions which are right for students. its meetings and decisions are published decision made by any other part of the I am asking for a second term on the in a timely manner and adequately Union. Yet, rather than being an open Board so that I have the opportunity publicised and democratic body, it is often closed to use my experience from this year to A vote for me is a vote for democracy - and opaque. Democracy is at the core make sure that the Union’s democracy vote for Owen Heaney as your Student of what a Students’ Union should be, is strengthened by the Board, not Trustee. yet the Board regularly implements diminished. If elected as the students’ sweeping changes with minimal or no representative on the Board of Trustees, consultation with anyone outside of its I will: * Speak up against implementing own membership. As the current Council large-scale changes without consulting Chair, I have sat on Trustee Board for the students and volunteers * Ensure that past year, and, although a great deal of the outcomes of the Governance and

Joshua Jackson prices on campus to the availability and sponsorship success, we have celebrated quality of aid from our Careers Service the fastest rise and greatest increase in My vision as Student Trustee is for a and even the conditions of department membership in our 20-year history! I’m stronger and fairer Imperial - an Imperial buildings, I am ready to bring the issues Joshua and I’m committed to working that works as hard for you as you do for that matter to you to the table. Moreover, hard on your behalf for the best results it. There is so much about the Imperial I am dedicated to making the decision on the Board of Trustees, all for a better experience for which we have the Board - making processes of the Board of Imperial. Place your trust in me for of Trustees to thank; they oversee the Trustees more transparent and even Student Trustee 2018 Vote Joshua objectives and direction of the Union, more accessible to you. Currently, I bringing good progress in improvements serve as the Vice President for External to campus life year on year. But how can Relations and Sponsorship of the Imperial good progress be transformed into great ACS; I am no stranger to representing the progress? As one who never settles for interests of a large and diverse ensemble “good enough”, I have outlined key Action or to the responsibility of making crucial Areas to turn good into great: From food decisions. This year, after considerable

Abhijay Sood are possible when the most senior body for students, prioritising departments in the Union acts with impunity. To this without common rooms. Union Council Trustee Board is the Union’s governing end, I will report on what happens at the Member since 2016: * Fought to increase body, but there’s a good chance you’ve Board, record the meetings, and ensure bursaries. * Strengthened student input never heard of it. Every issue in our these recordings are easily accessible. on the College-wide curriculum review, “democratic” Union, from Bud Light to EXPERIENCE: * Academic Rep at year, where all course content is being revised. bookable spaces, ultimately reaches department, and faculty level; Rep of * Compelled the Union to take a strong this opaque forum. Their decisions are the Year 2016-17 * Supported ending stance on the UCU Pensions dispute. seldom justified to students. I’m running the zero-tolerance policy on late Chairing a club with record membership for Student Trustee with a single issue coursework - the only Dep Rep to do - double last year’s figure. I’m committed in mind: transparency. I want our Union so. * Introduced undergraduate teaching to fighting for you; elect me and I’ll take to actually represent student interests, assistants to my department: paying 4th that fight to the Union, and help ensure make decisions democratically, and be years to supervise Freshers. * Currently it truly backs students. bold enough to challenge College when working to ensure space vacated in the it gets things wrong. None of these things move to White City is utilised effectively

Stephen Naulls of my accomplishments in my role this yet pragmatic voice as your Student year. From attending meetings such Trustee; using my experience to best Having worked closely with the Officer as Community & Welfare Board and portray the perspectives of individuals Trustees this year as a Welfare Officer Student-Staff Committees, I have a solid themselves or entire Clubs and Societies, and member of Union Council, I insight into the day-to-day decisions our whilst framing this within the context understand the ways our Union can be senior volunteers and paid staff make I have as a Senior Union Volunteer to fine-tuned to better meet the needs of on your behalf for both Academic and determine the most reasonable solutions individual students, as well as our clubs Wellbeing concerns. Similarly, serving as to problems arising at Board of Trustees and societies. Working to embed the both a Treasurer and Secretary on Club meetings. A vote for Naulls is a vote for Wellbeing Representation Network into committees during my time at Imperial, experience and transparency: a strong Faculty’s consciousness, overseeing my I am aware of the challenges facing and reasonable voice for ALL Imperial Campaigns Team, and fighting for changes students stepping forward for senior students. Your voice. Your Union. and further clarity for students in personal positions within their Societies having #VoteNaulls #NaullsInHalls tutoring, mitigating circumstances and witnessed many of them myself. Based interruption of studies have been some on this, I can be expected to offer a firm Candidate Manifestos: Student Trustees

Rana Khan got to organise and manage events like complacence w.r.t the management sponsored skydives, bungee jumping, of ICLSU. * Making education more Hi! Hola! Hallo! Bonjour! Annyeong! jailbreak and break the Guinness World aff ordable and curbing the soaring tuition Ciao! Ni Hau! Salam! Marhaba! Record. * As the Treasurer of Paksoc, I got fees. * Promoting diversity, equality Namastay! Yo! I am Rana Sher, an an insight into the fi nancial issues that and integration amongst students. * International student from Pakistan and societies deal with along with helping to Upholding freedom of speech and South Korea and I am running for the make society’s fi rst boat party a success. fortifying student rights. * Expanding position of Imperial SU Student Trustee. * I am an Imperial SU fanatic with fangs accommodation halls to harbour more Some axioms about me: * International gashed in campaigns, clubs and societies. students (including returning students)- Students’ Offi cer(2017/2018)* RAG Syllabus: * Ensuring that the Union to obviate the need for paying higher Vice Chair(2017/2018) * RAG Events sticks to its democratic agenda. * Urging rents for private halls. Are you looking Offi cer(2016/2017) * Pakistan Society ICLSU to aff ord more opportunities for a Student Trustworthy more so than Treasurer(2017/2018) * Academic for students to enhance their a mere Trustee? Yes? Look no further. Representative(2016/2017) A bit of self- employability. * Ensuring transparency in Curious readers can have recourse indulgence: * Campaigned to set up the dialogue between ICLSU and you through to [email protected]. Thanks a International Lounge in college space relevant media to ascertain students’ lot! over the Christmas vacation. * In RAG I

Alessio Incitti others by representing LGBT+ students groups to the table of the Union’s highest Attainment gaps, barriers facing under- on Union Council, the Community and decision-making body. If elected, I will:* represented groups, and gender Welfare Board, and College’s Equality monitor the Union implementing the imbalance are all issues that cannot Diversity and Inclusion Forum, and I have Liberation Review action plan and ensure be tackled by Liberation Offi cers or been striving to ensure minority needs direct involvement of marginalised individual representatives alone. It takes are made a priority by other student communities * push the Trustee Board a strategic organisational approach, leaders and senior staff members. I have to set deadlines for longer-term actions, involving all levels of ICU governance, succeeded in making some tangible such as engagement of minorities to achieve durable progress towards a changes, such as obtaining College’s * contribute to the Governance more accessible and inclusive culture. approval for the relabelling of all single- subcommittee bringing focus to As your LGBT+ Offi cer this year, I have cubicle toilets as gender-neutral, the diversity and representation * suggest been primarily involved in the Liberation review of Union policies, and the to the Communications subcommittee Review commissioned by the Union and improved visibility of LGBT History Month. ways of steering towards a culture that have contributed to the shaping of an My goal as a student trustee would be regards inclusivity as its most central and action plan. I have uplifted the voices of to bring the voices of under-represented founding value

Ashley Brooks greater integration within, and across, for many years, I believe I can make a departments - particularly for students signifi cant and positive contribution Hello, my name is Ashley Brooks and I’m who often work in isolation or very small as Trustee. It would be a privilege to a third year PhD student in the Civil and groups. I would also like to celebrate the represent YOUR views, thanks again for Environmental Engineering Department. international diversity of the community, potentially voting! Whether I’ve met you before or not, I and help to deliver events that are send out a warm greeting and thank appropriate and engaging, as well as you for considering to vote for me. I just a time to wind down and have fun. believe that the student community is Having been involved in a number of a vital part of Imperial College’s campus clubs and societies at College over my and life, and indeed, can set the tone time here, serving successfully on the for intellectual curiosity and pursuit executive committee of an external throughout the College. I would like to organisation (Secretary for a Chaplaincy bring about a greater presence of the House), as well as being a teacher student community as Trustee and see providing academic & welfare support

#voteicu

Things a ected by these elections: every aspect of student life

Voting opens Voting closes 2 March | 12:00 9 March | 12:00 FELIX ISSUE 1687

MUSIC [email protected] Alvvays assert themselves with a spectacular show

MUSIC my company for the perhaps a testament to the ALVVAYS evening stuck in traffic quality of the sound team on their way to Camden’s at Roundhouse as well as legendary Roundhouse. the band. The venue suits the band Either way, they Support Artist: Spinning well: the five-piece fill sounded excellent. Even Coin. Venue: Roundhouse. the stage nicely, bedecked the subtle shifts in guitar Date: 23rd February 2018. with vintage guitars, tones and synth textures Ticket Price: £18. synths, and amps in front that made their latest of a hypnotic projected record such an engaging Neel Le Penru backdrop that resembles cut compared to much Music Writer a 70s Doctor Who title of the dream pop scene sequence. were perceptible. In fact, A distinct step up in the detail and clarity of n fluorescent light, size from where they’ve Alvvays’ sound here rivals antisocialites…” performed on past UK some of the live studio Helpfully labelled in case they forgot what the instruments were // Neel Le Penru croons Molly Rankin tours, they’re playing performances they’ve during a superb live the sold-out show with done recently for the likes the band’s online follow- with nine of the album’s In some ways it was Irendition of the track remarkable cool, their of Seattle alt-rock radio ing that Alvvays are the ten tracks performed (a a shame that the band’s ‘Dreams Tonite’ from effort centred on nailing station KEXP. glorious pinnacle of Cana- treat for anyone who dreamier tracks set such Alvvays’ most recent the technical aspects of But Alvvays demon- dian-indie-pop-cuteness. loved that record as much a relaxed atmosphere that effort, Antisocialites. It’s their performance. And strate that they are a great At one point she asks the as I did) but kept things the audience never fully easy to feel she’s describ- this too they do with live act because they audience for recommen- interesting with a perfor- reciprocated the band’s ing the crowd as we stand ease, the whole band don’t stop at perfecting dations of things to do mance of a new, currently high energy on their captivated under dreamy playing flawlessly, with the technicality of the per- during the band’s day-off unreleased song ‘Pecking heavier tracks, but all in stage lights with barely a each instrument clear and formance. Rankin’s quips in London: a refreshing Order’, as well as a cover all Alvvays delivered a sense of who’s around us. audible, and the backing and comments between disregard of the band’s of Elastica’s ‘Blue’ in fantastic performance that The lyric especially vocals loud enough to tracks grab smiles as usual growing fame. the encore, which they will see them continue resonates with me this beautifully mesh with and continue to cement The 15 song setlist was adapted to their jangly to climb to the top of the time as I watch alone, Rankin’s lead. This is the view propagated by centred on Antisociallites sound surprisingly well. indie scene. Franz Ferdinand prove that they can still rock

MUSIC time, the band recorded school Franz Ferdinand FRANZ FERDINAND and toured an album with gig were still present: American electro-pop Kapranos fervently duo Sparks and then lost jumping and striding founding member and about the stage, the band Support Artist: Albert rhythm guitarist Nick playing with impressive Hammond Jr; Meggie McCarthy who has been tightness and energy, Brown. Venue: O2 Academy replaced by new members and the audience feeding Brixton. Date: 24th February Dino Bardot (guitar) and off this as they sang and 2018. Ticket Price: £33.70. Julian Corrie (keyboards danced through bangers and backing vocals). and ballads alike. Neel Le Penru Nonetheless, the recon- They opened with Music Writer figured lineup sounded as the title track from tight as ever on Saturday their latest LP, before and cracked through an swinging through a mix eturning to eighteen song set, half of of songs spanning their another sold- which consisted of tracks discography, culminating Don’t move, time is slow // Neel Le Penru out Brixton from Always Ascending. in a 10-minute version Academy, Franz Indeed, Franz Ferdinand of ‘This Fire’, from their ates the biggest response songs presented under like this, Franz Ferdi- RFerdinand demonstrated are wearing their new eponymous 2004 debut, from crowds, there was a revitalised sound and nand’s ongoing ability to that their new material sound and configuration which has long been a no sense of dependence aesthetic. take the pop-rock quirks is just as capable as their with pride, perhaps as the favourite gig-closer for on them to drive the gig A particular highlight that characterise their back-catalogue of indie result of lead singer Alex the band. The dominance on this night. Rather, the was the decision to studio material to a live anthems at getting nearly Kapranos finally fully of songs from Always DNA of the newly remade introduce a saxophone setting shines through five thousand people taking the centre stage as Ascending left little room five-piece that produced player in the encore who such that, across material dancing. The band are frontman, allowing his for anything other than the Always Ascending has performed on ‘Love Illu- old and new, they are able touring their recently re- bandmates to cement as top hits from Franz Ferdi- made its way into the rest mination’ and soloed in to thrill audiences for a leased fifth album,Always his backing unit. nand’s first four records, of the band’s material the extended disco outro couple of hours – and it’s Ascending, which is their That said, the core but while these songs’ resulting in a decade and of recent single ‘Feel the certainly worth it. first in five years. In that elements of a great old- familiarity usually gener- a half’s worth of great Love Go’. In moments 25 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

MUSIC [email protected] MUSIC [email protected] Bon Iver has something for everyone MUSIC An afternoon with a quiet BON IVER New songs such as party. The highlights were ‘10 d E A T H b R E a S 22, A Million songs ‘33 genius T’ and ‘715 – CRΣΣKS’ “GOD”’ and ‘8 (circle)’. which are perhaps too ex- Pushing the soundsystem MUSIC “push a few buttons” juxtaposition of harmonic Support Artist: None. perimental (for some) on to the limit (and on a NILS FRAHM and change the settings and rhythmic layers Venue: Eventim Apollo. record are transcendental couple of occasions, for the following track, looped with increasing Date: 25th February 2018. and evolve into something past it) and yet somehow while trying “not to mess complexity on top of Ticket Price: £36.50 else in concert, with pitch giving me goosebumps up” (as he had apparently choral samples, expand- perfect vocals and slight in the back of my neck Support Artist: None. done the day before). His ing in texture to the point Aiden Langan changes to arrangements. at the same time, those Venue: Barbican. Date: assertive movements and of filling up the whole Music Writer But don’t worry, the older tracks cemented the night 24th February 2018. Ticket playful words created the auditorium with warm songs are amazing to see as a legendary concert. Price: £15. perfect atmosphere for and reverberated sounds. live too. With folky sing- ‘8 (circle)’ had a massive His short use of the irst things first, alongs found in ‘Skinny build up with a beautiful- Ilaria Manco grand piano as a percus- 22, A Million is Love’ and ‘The Wolves’, ly performed trombone Music Writer “An intricate sion instrument – skilfully the Kid A of this and songs in which the solo. It was so good, so juxtaposition played with some toilet generation. With crowd is so quiet you magical, it’s probably brushes (yes, that’s right) Fthat in mind, it is absolute- what summoned the snow ust looking at the of harmonic – only made me wish he ly necessary to see Bon to London the following elaborate setup had gone on for longer, Iver in their current form. “The crowd morning. laid out on stage and rhythmic perhaps indulging less in Performing two sets (with Bon Iver united audi- before he made his layers looped the piano solos and more a 22 minute interval) at is so quiet ences and genres with a Jappearance, it was hard to in dancefloor-friendly in- the Hammersmith Apollo He kept his headphones on fOr MaXiMuM fOcUs // Adrian LaMoury carefully crafted and pas- believe it was going to be with increasing termissions like ‘#2’. But, M.C. Escher didn’t really do hugs, but if he did, I imagine they’d go like this // Matador with candles adorning you could sionate show. If, by some a one-man show. Yet, for as he himself was happy the stage, this night was could hear a pin drop and age of one-note crowd; a rare sight for a miracle, you can find two hours, in what was the complexity on to admit, people seemed a special occasion – it hear a pin between breaths such as bands, such as Fishcat and band you’re more likely a ticket to a remaining penultimate of four sold- to have a particular affec- was intimate and it was drop between ‘Woods’, you’ll experi- the Twattymen. to listen to while stoned in night, seize it immediate- out gigs at the Barbican, top of choral tion for those of his songs An album for cold weather homely, despite being just ence a mix of feelings There’s lots of head- a dark room with the snow ly. You won’t regret it. Nils Frahm dominated the that consisted of “the one of their eight shows breaths” seldom seen in a concert, bobbing and even a little falling silently outside, stage only accompanied samples” same chord played over there over two weeks. particularly in this day bit of dancing in the than in a club or a house by a remarkable array of and over for six minutes”. MUSIC The walk normally ently not. instruments that crossed what often felt like an And it’s hard to deny TWIN FANTASY takes 35 minutes. This Oh look there’s. genres as much as musical intimate show put on for that it was exactly those album is 71 minutes long. Rhidian. On the picket eras. a close circle of friends, songs that allowed his I was taking it slow today. line. He looks even colder King Gizz are exactly as you’d expect: fucking great Jumping between rather than a public per- live show to reach a few Honestly I’d never than I feel. I don’t know more than six keyboards formance in front of a big moments of high lyricism, Artist: Car Seat Headrest. even heard of Car Seat how he has the energy to – which ranged from a crowd. compared to which the oc- Label: Matador. Top Headrest until recently. stand there all day every MUSIC out quickly, which was started to writhe and sway, Banana, ‘Nuclear Fusion’ the music being slower, of 2017’s albums; also grand piano to an organ During the course of casional attempts to bring Tracks: Honestly just listen Though the name does day. Go Rhid. KING GIZZARD AND immediately noticeable many fans losing their and ‘Sleep Drifter’ came more relaxed. This memo played from this was to a Roland Juno 60 – the each track, what often in punchier electronic to the whole thing. For Fans feel familiar. I really should listen to THE LIZARD WIZARD upon arrival. balance as the sardines and went, with no relent didn’t make it to the ‘Welcome to an Altered musician and composer started as a deceivingly kicks, although musically Of: LCD Soundsystem; I’d hoped that this time that 2011 version. The tight packing attempted to mosh. from the crowd. crowd apparently, where Universe’ and ‘The Lord used his whole body to simple melody, quietly interesting, sometimes Whitney. 71 minutes I’d be able to pay closer Okay I lied a bit. My beneath the stage made Looming above them Suddenly the movement the frantic movement of Lightning’. The final operate the equipment, crafted on the harmonic or paled. attention to the music, walk didn’t really take moving difficult; the one were abstract, psychedelic stopped. The band were and energy previously 2017 material exhibited turning knobs and pushing the upright piano, would Despite that, Frahm Adrian LaMoury but honestly I was more me 71 minutes. I started Support Artist: Mild High way which was physically projections synchronised no longer above. Replac- found did not stop. This that evening was then buttons on the sequencer – with a few exceptions – perfectly juggled Music Editor concerned with trying to the album before I left the Club. Venue: O2 Academy acceptable to turn was to the music, which cast ing the enchanting projec- set included ‘Han-Tyumi produced, the single and delay pedals with a quickly evolve post-classical melodies stay upright. Making sure house. Before I put my Brixton. Date: 22nd February towards the band. Once luminous colours across tions was a big red timer, the Confused Cyborg’, ‘Crumbling Castle’ and confidence and preci- into an with mesmerising loops I didn’t slip and fall and shoes on. Laced them up 2018. Ticket Price: £23.75. they came on, however, the sweat-laden faces of counting down from 15. a track from Murder of the eponymous ‘Poly- sion that didn’t fail intricate and powerful bass lines t’s been a while since break my leg and die. tight. Today is a bobble you didn’t want to look the people beneath. What was at the end was the Universe, the second gondwanaland’, all from to impress. like very few can do. I wrote a proper I survived. hat day. Got to the office Emily Freeman away. Starting with the As the 7-piece contin- anyone’s guess. This is the fourth release of 2017. Opening with And after all, if a crowd review. London is very pretty with 15 minutes left. No Music Writer first single off the first ued into their first set, the the band who record their Wrapping up the evening, a few tracks of nearly 2,000 spectators This isn’t a proper in the snow. For about 45 one else was there so I album of 2017 (Flying energy of both the music vocals through iPhones. “Swaying King Gizz resorted to from his most sacrificed a rare sunny day Ireview. seconds. Before it turns to carried on listening. he queue looped Microtonal Banana), and crowd remained high, The band who dedicated their critically acclaimed recent album in London to gather in the Though really, they sludge. Sorry, this is hardly a around two ‘Rattlesnake’, the cheers with neither stopping for a third of an album to turned to Nonagon Infinity (2016). All Melody dark and watch him play, seldom are. It’s not even new. It was review at all. Though let’s corners as fans from the crowd soon air if they could avoid it. a story about a cyborg jumping. I Described as a “never-end- and closing it was going to be worth it. I’ve listened to this recorded back in 2011 on be honest, no one reads waited eagerly to became the chanting of Following ‘Rattlesnake’ who eventually destroys ing album” by its vocalist with the older At £15 for a student album twice. a laptop. Super lo-fi. I these. Except the copy Tpass beneath the dome of the repetitive lyrics. Much came the band’s final the universe through lost my shoe. Stuart Mackenzie, ‘Robot More, Frahm ticket, I couldn’t have Once yesterday while didn’t hear it at the time. editors. Love you copy the O2 Academy Brixton. like a snake itself, the pit single from 2017, ‘Green- vomiting. This is the band Stop’, ‘Big Fig Wasp’ and appeared com- asked for a better way I was working, and once For whatever reason, they editors. Spanning the reader- house Heat Death’, from who named themselves Jumping ‘Gamma Knife’, arguably fortable between to spend that cold more this morning as I decided to re-record it. This album feels cosy

graph above them hailed “Looming their New Year’s Eve King Gizzard and the turned to their most famous song, his gear, taking C Saturday after- walked through the snow I’m glad they did. while all else crumbles the cause: Australian released album Gumboot Lizard Wizard for fuck’s were played in indis- time in between lean cut // Ale noon. into the Felix office. I My socks are wet. around me. I like it a lot. psych-rockers King Soup. Swaying turned sake. When the timer hit cernible fashion to the songs to think it’s pretty great. The album is angsty Fred’s in the office now. above them pushing and xander Gizzard and the Lizard to jumping. I lost my zero all eyes were on the untrained ear, instead I have neither the time and fumbling and personal It’s good music to S Wizard. Performing their were abstract, shoe. Jumping turned to stage. Fortunately, it just then back to forming a punchy energet- chn nor the expertise to write and sweet. It’s also quite soothe an imploding head. only London show in the psychedelic pushing and then back to marked the beginning of ic end to a kaleidoscopic, eider a comprehensive piece, funny. I like it when bands God, I hope the snow support of the immense swaying. I lost my sock. another set. swaying. I lost mind-blowing event, as so I’ll just relay some of are funny. melts before I go home. five albums they released projections” The remaining singles This set appeared to be my sock” to be expected from this my thoughts and feelings I thought these boots last year, the show sold from Flying Microtonal more chilled in its ways, whirlwind of a band. from my journey. were waterproof. Appar- 26 27 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

MUSIC [email protected] A short, mostly wrong history of punk rock, part I Felix Music’s resident punk rock addict gives the first instalment of a comprehensive history of the genre...

MUSIC audiences. This was the experimental, and did not They’re pretty well precursor of modern rock, give a shit about the estab- known [citation needed]. Henry Eshbaugh which evolved in the 40s lished tastes of the time. Along the lines of pop Music Editor and 50s. Rock shared with Meanwhile, CBGB came punk, the Ramones paved blues an affinity for the and became a happening the way; bands like the same three chords (tonic, place – Blondie, the Cure, Buzzcocks and the Under- unk is hard to pin subdominant, dominant, the Talking Heads, and tones emerged, and had down; it’s not a or I-IV-V in various ar- so on. And in December a significant influence on particular genre rangements). This sparse- 1969, a name was born: pop-punk and skate punk, or style marked ness was integral to the “Whiny, adolescently which arose – and will be Pby any particular techni- sound of the era; however, repulsive and barely dis- talked about – later. cal approach to writing as rock aged, it left these And the evolution music. In fact, most of behind. Gone were the continued; new wave the time, it’s not very days of minimalism and “Whiny, happened, with bands like technical at all. It’s sort of intimacy; the Guitar God Ultravox, the Pretenders, a patched-together set of was born, and displays of adolescenty, the Cars, Tubeway Army, reactions to a number of instrumental technicality and CBGB acts like musical lineages, which came to dominate the live repulsive, and the Talking Heads and entangled to form the rock show. very similar Blondie, which began angry, thrasy, alive music This irritated the first moving in a less abrasive we know and love today. punks, who came from street-punk and more pop-friendly One thing – there have the 60s garage-rock scene direction. Descendents always been skinhead and kept with them a DIY anthems” include Morrissey, Duran punk movements, but I’m ethos – bands like the Duran, Interpol, the not going into them here. Kinks, the Seeds, and the National, the Strokes, This isn’t what punk’s Sonics. Traditional punk tinguishable street-punk the Killers, Slowdive, about; in the immortal bands like the Clash grew anthems” wrote John and Franz Ferdinand all words of the Dead up in this era – tubthump- Mendehlson of the Stoog- have a new-wavey, post- Kennedys, “Nazi punks ing mish-mashes of power es’s debut. punky heritage. These fuck off!” The punk I chords and energy. These two lines, post- guys played with poppier know and love is fervently In the US, experimental psych and garage-rock, sounds, synths, and a anti-racist. post-psych acts like the are the ultimate stylistic range of emotion decided- Ok, history. The very Velvet Underground and source of punk, but punk ly less than just screaming Walt Jabsco // rjonesdesign first reaction was to 60s the Stooges were defining represents an ethos that into the mic. and 70s rock. Country, a sound of their own; a transcends any particular On the other hand, folk, and blues diverged in wave of the sound hit New sound. Punk is primarily there was a movement to the early 1900s US; blues York City in the early 70s, about community and make punk sound cold grew up in the Mississippi including the Dictators, individuality. Authority is and industrial. Post-punk delta, and moved north the Modern Lovers, and scorned; individual, DIY was a parallel movement, to Chicago and Detroit, Willie Alexander and the effort is encouraged, and featuring Joy Division, 2-tone “mod” era, and I’ll close here, because where it became elec- Boom Boom Band. These there is a great importance the Fall, and the Rain- fed massively into the this underpins a point I’d trified and gained wider guys were avant-garde, to the notion of “authen- coats. Modern derivatives rise of third wave in the like to make: lots of punk ticity” – music, writing, include Protomartyr and US (more later); their doesn’t sound like what art made with no reserva- New Order, which formed music was marked by people think punk should tions or ulterior motives, from the remains of Joy a reggae-inspired sense sound like. Punk is more art made for art’s sake. Division after Ian Curtis’s of rhythm and HORNS an ethos, an aesthetic, a Anyways, CBGB, the unfortunate suicide. EVERYWHERE. While set of positions on reli- small Manhattan venue, These artists are known ska originated in Jamaica gious wars endemic to the thrived. The Heartbreak- for droning, plodding, alongside rocksteady and music industry, where au- ers, the Voidoids, and spacy soundscapes and reggae, it was precisely thenticity, self-expression, the Dead Boys all came a brooding worldview. this deterritorializing and music for music’s through those doors, as Many of these bands hail (to quote Deleuze and sake take priority over any did hundreds, hundreds, from the north of England, Guattari) adoption that other interest (be it corpo- of other acts. Over its or other post-industrial has sustained the genre. rate, Nazi, or The Man in 30-something year run areas (Protomartyr is from The Specials are also your favorite incarnation). open, CBGB became the Detroit, for example) – a the origin of the cultural And that’s why punks get heart of US punk rock at soundtrack to the desolate touchstone that is Walt so mad about ‘sellouts’: the time. metalscape. Jabsco, a skanking man do whatever you want, In the UK, a shop The second wave of (“skanking” refers to a just do it for yourself. named SEX hired some ska was also brought dance common at these Stay tuned for Part 2: people, gave them names about by punks; bands gigs; the term survives in hardcore, skate, thrash, and trendy clothing, and like the Specials, the Beat, modern drum’n’bass). and the third and fourth The Velvet Underground & Nico, their debut // Verve formed the Sex Pistols. and Madness typified the For this installment, waves of ska. 28 FELIX ISSUE 1687

GAMES [email protected] I’m just saiyan: Dragon Ball FighterZ After over thirty years, we finally have the perfect fighting game from the Dragon Ball franchise.

GAMES The story begins hilarious interactions DRAGON BALL with the player finding between characters, such FIGHTERZ themselves in the (stolen) as the Cell mocking body of our spikey haired Nappa for missing out protagonist Goku, due to on the apparent bargain a global soul disturbance sale that is going super that has resulted in the saiyan, or the Ginyu force Studio: Bandai Namco rest of the God-like going into detail about the Entertainment. Director: DBZ cast (especially health care plan featured Junya Motomura. Genre: Yamcha) being drastically in Fireza’s (disposable) Fighting. Platforms: weakened. With char- army. Right from the Microsoft Windows, acters only returning to beginning you gain the PlayStation 4, Xbox One their full strength when ability to select characters you control them, (in a that you have rescued, Connor Winzar peculiar, a steroid filled incorporating them into Games Writer version of Freaky Friday) your team of three as you you progress through battle against leagues and the story to unravel the leagues of clones. With laying this game mystery that surrounds regards to the gameplay, as a long-time fan Android 21 and her army the campaign can get This isn’t even my final form! // Bandai Namco Entertainment of Dragon Ball of clones. The story is split monotonous with the Z and the fighter into three main arcs, each constant pummelling of out his Saiyan Pride in a lead to truly terrifying scenes are cinematics that Pgenre, I can say, without a centred around a different testosterone fuelled rage. results. Each character occur if you defeat one of doubt, that DBZ Fighterz character, leading to an Without a doubt, this features their own distinct the opponent’s characters feels like a love letter epic showdown with the “The game is one of the best fighting playstyle, for example with a super or heavy written to its fans. The aforementioned android. games of this year and Android 16 who is a bulky attack, ranging from your game has surpassed both For a typical fighter the has surpassed maybe this decade, grapple type character and opponent hurtling through limits and expectations of campaign is quite lengthy, Dragon Ball Fighterz Hit, who is a strong coun- pillars of rock or being the fighting game genre, however it’s definitely both limits and brings new innovative ter-based character. obliterated off the face of going even further beyond worth a playthrough to expectations combat that feels fresh There is plenty to the earth. with spectacular original unlock Android 21 as a and exhilarating. Con- learn and to discover, Despite my unending soundtrack and gorgeous playable character. of the fighting sisting of a basic fighting with unique in-game praise of DBZ Fighterz visuals, while at the Unlike previous games game control scheme cutscenes triggered by there is an issue beneath same time being a perfect in its franchise, DBZ game genre” with the three primary certain actions (recreating its almost perfect form; homage to its anime. In Fighterz also includes attack buttons, being moments from the anime), the online multiplayer can all of its Saiyan glory, the ability to strengthen light, medium, heavy, and as well as some characters be some of the most rage DBZ Fighterz does have a the bonds you have with evil clones, however the the fourth being a special possessing unique abili- inducing material on the small fault in its otherwise certain characters. This power up system and move attack, the simplic- ties. Additional features planet, with connection perfectly rendered abs improves their abilities unique dialogue makes up ity of the controls makes of the combat including issues that can make or which I’ll discuss later. and power as well as for this; especially when it easy for newcomers ‘Dragon Rush’ which is break a match, completely Now lets break it down, in open up unique dialogue. beating the snot out of the to pick up. Players fight ruining the spontaneous Lucio style. The campaign also boasts enemy whilst Vegeta cries in 3-person teams with nature of the gameplay. team mechanics such “The simplicity With patches on their as dynamic switching way, these server issues between characters and of the controls should be resolved soon, assists which can range but in the meantime the from basic attacks to makes it easy offline options are more super moves. The game for newcomers than enough to satiate lends a caring hand to your interest and provide beginners by its intro- to pick up” endless fun. duction of auto combos I without a doubt, rec- which require only one ommend this game to any button to be pressed your basic dash towards fighting game enthusiast multiple times, providing your opponent and or just a casual Dragon both decent damage and ‘Vanish’ a teleport that Ball fan. For me, this fantastic visuals. This is acts as a combo breaker. game is near perfect but not to say that the game is The epic fantasma that it hasn’t reached its final without depth; additional are the super moves truly form, it’s a combination investment of time and make the game feel like of everything good about effort into mastering Dragon Ball. Rendered Dragon Ball and the more advanced combos with in-game graphics, fighting genre, however and being creative with they are a sight to behold the online latency issues in- game mechanics can and to top off these brutal let this masterpiece down. TFW you submit a lab report before the deadline // Bandai Namco Entertainment 29 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

TRAVEL [email protected] TRAVEL [email protected] a late afternoon nap to were much more bearable revitalise ourselves for than the mountain lakes The miners make it to the end of the trail the three course evening and rivers we’d paddled in meal included with our on previous days. The final accommodation! It was as few kilometres seemed to We reach the thrilling conclusion of the story of the RSM miners, and their mission to take on the toughest trail in if tonight was an appetiser last forever but eventually for the luxuries we could we rounded a bend to a Europe. Expect raised tensions, dreams of pizza, and too much cheese. enjoy when we complete view of Conca not far the trail tomorrow. below us. There was a lot of excitement and pride – the first up to the refuge famous Corsican cheese, and the sun was shining, Day 15 – Stage 16 as we strode down into we considered staying at which according to some but it was still very cold. the village, where we last night, at 1820 metres authors (see Uderzo et During the night, the boys Knowing only a matter were greeted by… well (and Punta Mozza slightly Goscinny, 1973) has the covered themselves with of hours separated us from practically nothing! No higher up), and the other power to defeat an entire their survival bags, as the the end of the hardest trail glorious finish line or a steeper boulder-studded Roman legion, he was water pooling bellow the in Europe, we relaxed souvenir shops. There was climb that zigzagged up to ill and threw up all over tent had a freezing effect. (perhaps too much) at barely even a sign to tell Monte Furmicula, at 1981 his sleeping bag, hiking However, they didn’t breakfast, feasting on us where the official end metres. It was just as we boots, and tent. Georgios account for perspiration bread and Corsican jams actually was! But there began the final descent was not best impressed! and when they woke up, and left to the sound was one small bar in the towards Refuge d’Usciolu any clothes that were not of live Russian music village where we found that the rain began, and Day 13 – Stage 13/14 wet because of the rain performed by Harry. We many of the hikers we’d once it started it did not were wet because of their took our time, relishing shared our journey with, relent. We miserably That morning was the sweat. To top that they had the last 19km of the GR20 and just down the road pitched our tents in the lowest point of the expe- to climb a 100m cliff in with Alex and Mandus, was Max. rain, shivering from the dition. order to get the icy water taking in the views for cold, and ate our dinner The rain had stopped needed for the tent to be a final time. We all wore More than 2 weeks in bed before going to cleaned. our team expedition polo of trekking through the sleep at 5pm (well trying Tensions between shirts and took group Corsican mountains had to sleep anyway…). The “After feasting the members were high, photos at every opportu- come to an end. We all night that ensued was and understandably so. nity. Our legs were weary, agreed it was one of, if one of the worst any of on the world No one had a relaxing especially Harry’s, whose not the, best thing we’d us could recall. Water sleep and as girls were ankle was causing him ever done. We’d met The barren landscape // Georgios Chatzitheoklitos pooled under our tents famous once again ready on time trouble again on the tricky some incredible people, and our flip-flops could Corsican so they had to wait for Last day team photo with our friends, Mandus and Alex. Cool t-shirts, right? // Georgios Chatzitheoklitos terrain, but we pushed bonded as a team, learnt TRAVEL and where Max had de- reading Asterix & Obelix be seen floating in the around an hour, and were on, reminiscing about our some French (perhaps not cided to stay tonight. This en Corse and playing outer. Everything got wet, cheese, Harry not pleased. However, so we were unsure as to warm in the communal ence the boys were ready mounted by an enormous journey across the island. Diane), seen the geology Georgios would nearly halve the cards with our new and even in all our layers after they learned about whether we’d be up for tent space with the other on time! Perhaps even jammed boulder which Today the landscape was of the entire backbone of Chatzitheoklitos 1290 metres of climbing German friends, Felix and and our survival blankets was ill and last night they were more the double stage, but we hikers. Another cold night slightly before Diane and we heaved our way up on like that of a different Corsica and, above all, Travel Writer involved in stage 12. Caroline – Ironman triath- we were freezing in our understanding and helped didn’t have to decide until ensued and everyone Carla, so they claimed. the chain then squeezed country all together, as completed the hardest trail However, another group letes who were hiking the sleeping bags. But it was threw up over the boys pack up faster! the turning, which was except Carla (who seems We set off, actually as through a gap at the top. we descended away from in Europe. We’re incred- of hikers told us they’d GR20 for their third time. the boys, and Harry in par- his tent” Despite our intentions two hours into the day. to sleep through abso- planned, at 9am for the Once the day’s work was the mountainous spine of ible grateful to Imperial Day 11 – Stage 11A just come down from With strong winds ticular, who had it worst. to double today, everyone Our kit was wet from the lutely anything) were high route. Only 8km over, we booked into Corsica and own into the Exploration Board and there due to high winds. forecast to continue for After feasting on the world was feeling quite grim, night from hell last night kept awake by hail and a long, it involved a steep the gite d’etape (there forests towards the sea. the RSM trust for funding aving set our After a good half-hour the rest of the day, the so our bags were heavier thunderstorm which left ascent up to Aiguilles de were no campsites in the Even the pools we bathed our expedition, and hope minds on doing refuge staff advised us that and the going was very the mountain covered in Bavella which provided village) and went straight in 5km from the end were our adventure will inspire the alternative nobody should attempt tough as we scrambled ice and snow when we a beautiful view over the for pizza. We thoroughly described as ‘lukewarm’ other students to under- high route in “After 30 mins the high route today, since across the arête. We even- awoke the next morning. East and South Coast from gorged ourselves in the in the guidebook. They take similar challenges. Hpursuit of more stunning it involves traversing an tually found our rhythm the rocky towers at the food we’d been dreaming were by no means any de- views, we agreed to leave of debating exposed arête that would though, and gritted summit. The penultimate about for days before scription of warm but they at 7am. The girls were be dangerous in high through both stages. It “We eventually day of our expedition and punctual as always, and whether to winds was the afternoon ascent we got our first peek of the at 7am they went to the push on or of Monte Alcudina that found our finish. The descent was boys tent to find them still Day 12 – Stage 12 really challenged us. full of day walkers, filling sleeping! But the boys not, Georgios Before the climb even rhythm us with anticipation of the overslept after having a Felix and Caroline began we’d already had though, small taste of civilisation nightmare with the tent grabbed the somehow managed to a long day’s undulating waiting for us in Village in the strong overnight convince us to put ri- hike; the incline was and gritted de Bavella at the foot of winds. Agreeing on the bull by the diculous o’clock alarms never ending and seemed the mountain. We could shorter, easier low route, horns and we on again to climb up the to get perpetually steeper. through both almost smell the pizzeria we enjoyed a hot chocolate mountain before sunrise, As more mountains kept (which had a working in the refuge before setting flipped a coin” but when we woke up and appearing above us, stages of the oven this time – thank off. We were delighted to stuck our heads out the even Harry (who usually climb” goodness!). Only 2.5km find that the terrain was tents, there wasn’t a star powers up the ascents) of hiking away, it took even easier than yesterday of debating whether to in sight. We concluded was left broken and nearly two hours for us to and we completed the push on or not, Georgios it’d be too cloudy for a collapsed in a heap at the complete the incredibly 14km to Refuge di Verdi grabbed the bull by the decent view so happily top! We were glad to see Day 14 – Stage 15B steep, rocky descent in- by midday. We were horns and we flipped a fell back asleep, setting Refuge d’Asinau only a volving the use of chains hoping to push on to coin… tails we’re staying. off at a more reasonable short descent from the It was a momentous in places. One part in Refuge de Prati, 4.5km So we spent the rest of 6am instead. Today’s hike peak and spent the evening morning – for the first particular involved a giant into tomorrow’s stage, the afternoon by the fire involved two main climbs We did it! Smiles all round at the end of the GR20 trail // Georgios Chatzitheoklitos desperately trying to get time in our GR20 experi- sloping slab of rock sur- Harry after summiting Monte Alcudina // Georgios Chatzitheoklitos 30 31

FELIX ISSUE 1687

FOOD [email protected] A couple of Asian-inspired recipes for you to fry!

FOOD MANGO AND CHICKEN STIR FRY Andrada Balmez Food Editor You will need... I was a bit reluctant about the combination of mango and chicken in the beginning, but now riting feels • 800g chicken breast, cut into • Pepper I love it as it is a great mixture between sweet oddly thera- cubes • 3 mangos and spicy food. This is obviously not an orig- peutic most • 3 tbsp oil • 1 medium red onion inal recipe, but since I had it for the first time of the time • 1 tbsp cornstarch • 1 jalapeno Wand I am not sure why I • 2 tbsp soysauce • ½ tbsp. fresh ginger in a restaurant, I tried a lot of variations I could stayed away from it for so • 400g green peas • 1 tbsp hot pepper sauce find online and I would like to think that this long – I mean, two weeks • 2 tbsp honey • 2 tbsp lime juice variation is the best. is a really long time, but I • Salt have an excuse! (I mean, I always have an excuse, 1. In a large bowl, mix the mangos, red onion, jalape- 4. Boil the green peas for 3-5 minutes. don’t I?) I experimented nos, fresh ginger, hot pepper sauce, and lime juice. This with new ideas and tried is a trickiest part, as you should blend them in order to 5. Heat a pan on high. Add the remaining oil and,when new ingredients and culi- get a smooth texture – I assume that if you chop them hot enough, add the chicken and cook (depending on nary zones so I can come well enough, you can use them in a cruder version, as how big the cubes are this should take 6-10 minutes). here today and present long as you do not mind it. Season to taste with salt and new tested recipes. So, pepper. 6. When cooked properly, add the boiled green peas, without further ado, here mango salsa, remaining soy sauce, and the honey. Mix we go on a nice journey 2. An alternative would be to find mango salsa to buy if well and allow to cook for another 2-4 minutes. that to me – an Eastern you look hard enough. European – brings to the 7. Finally, season with salt and pepper. table food that I am not 3. In a bowl, combine the chicken, 1 tbsp oil, corn- used to. They are fairly starch, and half the soy sauce. Make sure that all the 8. I recommend serving it with some white rice, as familiar to some students, chicken is covered and let rest for at least 10 minutes – you will be able to enjoy the sweet and spicy taste bet- and who knows, maybe consider that you might want to keep the chicken in the ter – but if you really want, you can try other side-dish- they can come and im- fridge is it’s longer. es, too. Don’t forget to enjoy! prove them.

Katsudon and egg rice bowl As you can see from the ingredients list, but there are a couple that are very specific. I believe that some of them (if not all) can be easily replaced with what you find at any corner shop, but the good thing about London is that you should find them easily. 1. Start by seasoning the pork chops with salt and pepper. After mixing Before saying anything else about this recipe, I have to admit that the egg, dust the chops with a bit of flour and then coat them with the egg. this resembles much European cuisine and that, generally, there Finally, coat them with the panko/breadcrumbs, until you get an even are very many similar dishes in most countries – in the end, this layer. Remember to put the breadcrumbs and egg in a shallow bowl so is only a pork cutlet. But the Japanese version has something you can easily do this step. special to it, mostly because the rice complements so well the soy 2. Cook the pork in hot oil – you can check if it’s hot enough by seeing sauce and the mirin. if a breadcrumb sizzles. For ~1cm thick chop, you should fry it 5-6 mins on each side or until golden brown. You will need... 3. Drain the extra oil on a plate lined with a paper towel. • Pork chops (boneless, the kind you • ½ cup dashi stock (can also be re- will find in any shop – not very placed by ordinary chicken stock) 4. In the same pot (it should still have the oil and all the juice from the thick ones, however) • 2 tbsp sugar meat) add the finely chopped onions until it is slightly caramelised. Pour • Salt • 1 tbsp soy sauce the stock, sugar, soy sauce, and Mirin over the onions. • Pepper • 2 tsp Mirin (you can try replacing • Flour it with some sweet rice wine, but 5. Cut the pork chops and place over the onion, while the cooker is on • 3 eggs I cannot guarantee that this is a medium heat. • 1 cup breadcrumbs (originally good idea) panko, but it’s easier to find plain • 1 onion 6. In a bowl, beat the remaining two eggs and add them in the pan, driz- breadcrumbs than the Japanese • White rice zling them over everything. Cook until they are set. version) • 1 scallion • Oil 7. Serve over a bowl of steamed white rice (to be fair, I just buy a pack of pre-cooked rice and I microwave it as I am too lazy to cook rice).

33 Union Page Friday 02 March

Voting Opens Voting opens at noon today in The Leadership Elections. You have until et et te iet turnout in te ountr noon, next Friday 9 March to decide your student leaders. Imperial consistently ranks among the unions with the highest turnout in the country. We’re aiming to top the list this year. Vote now at imperialcollegeunionorg/vote o to vote These elections touch every aspect of student life at Imperial - from • on any device with an internet connection funding decisions, to extra-curricular programmes, to the menu in • login to imperialcollegeunionorg/vote and follow instructions. Union bars, the roles have a big impact on the quality of your university experience. We encourage you to have your say. ra turnout To get live updates on voting throughout the week, visit Our Offi cer Trustees (Union President and four Deputies) also represent imperialcollegeunionorg/tat. the student body to College on a wide range of issues. The higher the voter turnout, the bigger their mandate - making it easier for them to Vote now at imperialcollegeunionorg/vote infl uence decisions at the highest level.

ete

Q&A with Candidates Results Party

Candidates for key positions will be going head to head in a debate, with After voting closes on Friday 9 March, everyone is invited to gather at Metric opportunity for all students to ask questions. for the exciting results announcement.

Join us at 18:30, next Wednesday 7 March as we livestream the event Come fi nd out who your new student leaders are for the next academic on Imperial College Union’s Facebook page. year, commiserate with those who were not successful, and celebrate our democracy as a Union. This is your chance to clarify manifestos and get feedback on the issues that matter to you. The Results Party starts at 19:00. Entry is free.

Livestream link: aeoocomimperialcollegeunion Vote now at imperialcollegeunionorg/vote

imperialcollegeunion.org FELIX ISSUE 1687

LIBERATION [email protected]

Making sure to look after your Here’s what I’m up friends to at the moment! LIBERATION Talking to friends can be much easier than speaking to a stranger. Here are Ariana Sadr- some top tips on how to look out for friends who might be struggling. Hashemi Mental Health Liberation Officer LIBERATION Ariana Sadr- rom Felix articles to Under Pressure Hashemi week, my term so far has been full to Mental Health Liberation the brim with mental health talks and Officer discussions. I’m well aware that, as Fthis is the first year my position has existed, he Under Pressure most of the things I start are too big for me campaign this week has high- to be able to finish. That said, I’ve managed lighted the stress to get bits and bobs done this year. Tassociated with studying Firstly, I’ve been in discussions with the and various ways to deal with it. However, many Union Shop about stocking wellbeing students at Imperial strug- related items. So far, they have agreed to gle with their mental health stock fidget cubes (with a little description in silence due to the perva- sive attitude that having from me about why they’re useful) and will difficulties with mental review stocking other items suggested by health is a weakness. This me depending on how they sell. is also the kind of issue that feeds itself: people assume Checking in on your friends is vital // CC Additionally, I’ve been working very nobody else is struggling, hard to put wellbeing and liberation on so they stay silent and then lectures or society ac- notice these signs, it’s also that they’re having fun the map at Union Council. I’ve passed a the next person to struggle tivities as they normally important to have an idea with friends, eating right, again assumes nobody would, and increased use of what to do to support exercising or sleeping paper regarding guidelines to make Union else is having difficulty. of drugs and alcohol. your friends. Here’s a more. Ultimately, taking activities more accessible to people with It is incredibly difficult to Physical Changes: brief overview of things care of your mental dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD, and autism, and break this cycle directly. Do they look different? to remember: wellbeing is especially However there is some- Examples include notice- 1. Start the con- important when things regularly advocated for a meeting room that thing we can do: look after able weight gain or loss, versation: One of the are tough. If your friend is fully wheelchair accessible (which, so far, your friends. looking pale or tired or most helpful things you is dropping the ball on it has not been). I’ve also seconded papers Ultimately, it’s a lot noticeably anxious and can do is ask your friend these things, you can text easier to talk to a friend if worried, and sudden how they are doing, and reminders or organise on the creation of a liberation officer to you’re struggling than a changes in personal not just superficially. If events to give them that represent those from poorer backgrounds, stranger (or, even worse, a hygiene. you have noticed any extra nudge. now subject to a consultation (please take stranger who may be able Emotional Changes: of the signs mentioned 3. Take care of to impact your grade). Have their moods above, your friend might yourself first: This is by part!) and the creation of an official petitions As someone’s friend, you changed? Examples appreciate the opportunity far the most important system which is now underway. I’ve also can provide them with a include being consistently to get things off their point. You don’t need attended meetings of the Community comfortable and support- more tearful, irritable chest. Remember that it to be on call 24-hours a ive setting to discuss any or sensitive, and more is usually easier to have day, seven days a week. and Welfare Board (essentially the welfare difficulties. You’re also in frequent/severe mood these conversations in Helping a friend with their subcommittee of council) and met with a good position to notice swings. private and when you both struggles requires a lot of members of college staff to discuss the key outward signs that Intellectual Changes: have enough time to chat. emotional effort, and if someone is struggling. Is what they are saying The tone of the conver- you’re burning out its ok everything from having better counselling The Imperial Counselling very different? Examples sation is also important: to take a step back. It’s also provision on non-SK campuses (including Service recommends four include continual avoid leading questions important to remember White City) to putting mental health before key areas to look out for: negative thinking, such and don’t probe beyond that you might not be able Behavioural Changes: as self-deprecating state- what your friend is com- to solve the issues your academic attainment. Are they acting differ- ments or thinking that fortable with. You don’t friend is struggling with, However, my position’s time to shine will ently? Examples include the worst-case scenario is need to give advice, as and it may get to the point be during exams next term when I will be changes in sleeping or always going to happen, often these conversations where professional help is eating habits, withdrawal inability to concentrate, are useful on their own. needed. If that’s the case, doing work with a college-wide campaign from social contact and and difficulty following 2. Make sure they’re recognise that what they centred around the topics covered in my activities, not attending conversations. taking care of themselves: need is not something that article. Mentality will also have a role in the As well as being able to Whether it’s making sure you can give. campaign, so keep an eye out for it! 35 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 – Fake News! – ISSUE 18 FELIX ISSUE 1687

HANGMAN [email protected] Hangman Snowstorm brings short-lived happiness to Imperial students

HANGMAN stopping in for hot choco- snow days at my grand- late at the library cafe, and ma’s house, sipping cocoa Negafelix generally welcoming any and watching CBBC. I Editor-in-Chief change to the routine that soon realised that snow breaks up the monotony as an adult just means of everyday life. getting stuck on a packed Heavy snow has Student reaction to the District Line train for rekindled memories snow – which brought 35 mins while you wait of childhood amid TFL a host of problems with for a platform to clear at travel and transport, but Earl’s Court. Yet another hellscapes. also rekindled small memory of my granny sparks of childhood joy ruined.” eavy snow- and nostalgia – was mixed. James Karnet, a third- storms that Tom Marks, a first year year materials student, coated Lon- bioengineering student, also had a mixed reaction: don this week told Hangman: “When I “It was snowing pretty Let it snow (but not enough for the District Line to be fucked up) // Felix Hbrought a small sense of looked out of my window hard while I had a break short-lived joy to Impe- this morning and saw a between lectures, so I going to graduate with felt sad again.” take solace in the fact the rial students. fresh crisp blanket of pris- went out to Dalby Court over £50k in debt, and Students and staff who majority of the snow has Students were seen tine snow, it reminded me and drew a giant penis. everyone in my group are concerned about the turned to horrible grey taking selfies in the snow of my childhood in rural It was pretty funny, but project is a narcissistic possibility of an overdose slush. on their way into lectures, Wales, where I’d spend then I remembered I’m megalomaniac, and then I of whimsy are advised to

Decisions, decisions, decisions // CC Record number of sabbatical candidates, amid poor GEMINI CANCER LEO VIRGO post-graduate job market ARIES TAURUS This week you’re the This week you’re on This week you’re the This week you become a This week you’re TFL, This week you fall in the Felix Editor. You get the hockey team, and College, and your plan scab, crossing the picket and you’re looking snow and can’t get up. snowed in, and resort you’re looking forward to alter the weather and line to pick up lunch from forward to running a Well, you can, but you HANGMAN for the seven positions, job market which has seen leave office before anyone told Hangman: “I’d hoped candidate pool. Janet to burning copies for to Hockey Varsity! Oh, drive out the picket lines Fusion. Fair enough. good service in the snow! really can’t be bothered. which include Union graduates finding it harder can take you to task on the to have a series of jobs in Beck, a MSc student, said warmth. It’s what they’re wait… has gotten out of hand. Oh, wait… Negafelix President, Deputy Pres- to land a job when out of the investment banking the change was what had best for really. Editor-in-Chief idents, and Felix Editor. university. industry lined up, but I prompted her to run: “I’ve It is one of the highest Adam Karney, Imperial “One spent my summers back- just been telling everyone turnouts in recent history, College Union’s Head of packing around South East I’m being paid in crypto- The number of Democracy Extension, candidate Asia to make up for my currency, and now they candidates has told Hangman that said she lack of personality, and think ICU is some kind of soared, as people “One possible the increased number didn’t have any unpaid super cool start-up, rather of candidates were “a was running internships to pad out my than the place people go realise it’s easier to explanation clear win for student CV. With my prospects to for curly fries.” get a job at ICU than democracy, and not a for the role looking gloomy, I thought Other reasons students KPMG. for the reflection of the inability I’d put my hat into the gave for running for sab- surge is the of materials students’ after failing ring for a sabb role; from batical positions included inability to land jobs in a McKinsey the looks of things this “I hear you get to use the his year has increasingly consulting”. Speaking to one is mainly about telling Student Activities Centre LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES seen a record Hangman, he said: “these interview” students to make SACAs printers for free”, “I didn’t number of stu- competitive results are historic, and nominations.” get past the interview dents running job market” show just how much our While some might have stage at McKinsey”, and This week your rent at This week you run a This week you’re a Union This week you’re an This week you take a This week you’re the Tfor paid sabbatical students are committed things you haven’t done.” expected the change in “I genuinely have nothing GradPad means you have joke campaign for Union hack, and you can’t wait election candidate, and break from endless lab Horoscopes Writer, and positions in the Lead- to deepening democracy, Speaking to candidates, payment from GBP to better to do with my time.” no money for food. You president, centring for elections! Finally, a you’re looking forward reports to catch up with the pressure of being the ership Elections, as the with all positions being amplifying the student however, revealed a differ- Yoyo points (as reported resort to licking crumbs around VKs. You win in a topic you can fall back on to a well-run student an old friend: pure grain most-read section of Felix job market continues to contested. One possible voice, and getting paid a ent picture; Sarah Pliner, a in last week’s Hangman) Voting opens today.You out of your microwave landslide. to hide your chronic lack election! Oh, wait… alcohol. is starting to get to you. contract. explanation for this surge very generous salary for final-year biologist who to have put some students can vote at vote.union. oven. of chat. Overall, more than in candidates may be the a role where there is very is running to be Deputy off running, it seems to ic.ac.uk 30 students are running increasingly competitive little oversight and you President (Edutainment), have only increased the 36 37 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

PUZZLES [email protected]

       FUCWIT 1 Nonogram of Ketamine 295 2 Q 230  3 Puzzle Snuggle Cuddle Couple 222   4 TioUdin 207  5 OK 189    7 Luncheon Pals 126  11 The Indoor Sundial 102     19 Maxiane 47   22 Snails 37     23 Konmai 36

     Chess Send in your solutions to fsudoku@impe- White to move first in both problems with a forced rial.ac.uk before midday Wednesday!  checkmate in 3 moves (left) and 4 moves (right). Points Available     Crossword 4 Chess 6 Sudoku 2   Nonogram 4    Slitherlink 4 Doughnut 6   Total 26    Solutions

                Across Down               1. Moving from place to place (7) 1. Ideas (7)               5. Cut of a sheep (5) 2.­ Anglicised form of Muirne (5)         8. City of northern Italy (5) 3. Irish county (7)                9. Also a cad (7) 4. Style of art associated with Pi-           10. Fruit (7) casso (6)     11. Scottish child (5) 5. Small fragment of bread (5)            12. Stops moving motor (6) 6. Satan (3,4) 14. Adorned (6) 7. Alluring woman (5)    18. Inexpensive (5) 13. Engrave (anag.) (7) Doughnut 20. Arabic maths (7) 15. Betrothed (7) How many pieces can you cut a ring 22. Fishing (7) 16. Depth of a vessel (7) doughnut into with three straight cuts? 23. Norwegian composer (5) 17. Traditional Scottish dish (6) 24. Amalgamate (5) 18. Abyss (5) 25. Most sorrowful (7) 19. Balance (5) 21. Cloth for card ­tables (5)

                                       

         

                                       Nonogram Slitherlink Fill in neighbouring cells in each row/column to make blocks. Each Draw a single, non-crossing loop by connecting adjacent points. The block is separated by one or more empty cells. The numbers indicate number in each cell indicates how many sides are closed. the ordered lengths of the blocks to appear in that row/column. 38 FELIX ISSUE 1687

SPORTS [email protected] Imperial Kabaddi head to the National Tournament Imperial Kabaddi head to the National Tournament to defend their title of National Champions.

SPORTS captain, Karmanya. Chaos 2s bow out in a great ensued as the paramedics final match Roland Rousselot took him off the pitch. IC Kabaddi However, so determined The IC 2s found them- was Karmanya to steer his selves in decidedly the team to victory, he was more difficult of the two he NHSF back on the pitch for the groups, facing finalists National semi-finals against LSE from previous years: LSE Tournament 1s. He led by example as 1s, UoB 1s, and Kings. is the biggest the IC 1s opened a lead The addition of Warwick TKabaddi event of the year, against their long-time wasn’t ideal either – a side with universities nation- rivals (to whom they lost known for their aggressive wide coming to play and at London Zone), claiming defence. watch. IC 1s have won a 12-8 victory. The first game was the tournament for the last A tight final was on the close: a slim loss to KCL. three years. Matches were cards. Previous winners, Nonetheless, the 2s put nine minutes long, and the IC 1s, up against forward some stellar there were two groups, previous Runners Up and Kabaddi. Put on the back from which four teams Central Zone winners, foot, KCL was saved by qualify for the semi-finals, UoB 1s. Game on. Raid the end of the short game. followed by the final. after raid. Aggressive de- The next game against fending from both sides. LSE saw the return of Squad goals // IC Kabaddi 1s take home the Hunger for points. Argu- bad habits from the ex- crown ments with the refs. The 1s perienced 2s team. These and exploiting the oppo- a spotless reputation in Women’s team fight took the lead in the raiding impacts continued into the nent’s errors. A spectacu- 2018. through injuries The IC 1s had a but a defensive surge from next match against UoB, lar win and a great way to They didn’t disappoint. comfortable group, their the UoB side resulted in despite the extra five end the day for the IC 2s. After an initial setback The Imperial women first game against IC 3s. a series of knock-outs minutes allowed between with a ten-point loss to had a tough fight going The 1s annihilated their to the IC 1s side. The IC games for the ex-IC medic 3s keep their spotless wild card team Manches- in with a team riddled own clubmates with a defenders kept their poise, referee to go and relocate reputation ter (who haven’t graced with injuries and three 29-2 victory. Building up however, and put in some someone’s shoulder. the sport for three years…) members playing for the momentum, they sliced mesmerising tackles. The Three losses meant that The pressure was on the 3s rallied to the inspir- first time! through Manchester and team held strong for the the 2s knew they weren’t this year for the IC 3s. ing words of Neev “PBL” Game 1: KCL. The LSE 2s with relative ease. final minutes of the game. in the semis, so had With such high praise as Trehan. A good thing too. tone was set for the tour- The final group match The final whistle was nothing to lose going into “literally the best 3rd team Their next match was a nament – fast and aggres- against the UoB 2s went blown. The ref beckoned their last match. Warwick in the UK Kabaddi scene” biggy: LSE 2s. Arch rivals sive Kabaddi. IC started without incident, until one the teams over. The score – a team with a highly resting on their shoulders, of IC Kabaddi. The fire in the game with fantastic of the defenders (Felix) – UoB 1s 15-19 IC 1s! aggressive play-style. following a stellar per- the belly of this relative- tackles. Unfortunately, the dashed out the raider, National Champions. The 2s’ composure shone formance last year, they ly-inexperienced team lead was lost at the end, accidentally hitting his Fourth year running. through: quintessential were looking to maintain was fuelled, ploughing with KCL winning 15-17. head on the face of the 1s clever Kabaddi, forcing through the LSE side to LSE 2s were next. an 18-14 victory! Their With the new IC members final match was against gaining confidence, this the Birmingham 2s but match saw some slick what was shaping up to be raids and crunching a nail-biting game ended tackles. This was reflected with a 14-15 loss. in the result – a 15-15 So do the 3s of 2018 draw against the LSE compare to those of 2017? 2s. The final was against No. They’re leagues long-time rivals and the ahead. IC Kabaddi asked team to beat – LSE 1s. the same critic who gave While IC raided hard and them such high praise last tackled harder, the final year and he responded: score stood at 9-18. “I have never, in all my The heightened years as a professional standard of Kabaddi Kabaddier, seen a 3s team shown by the women play like that. These guys was terrific. The women aren’t the best 3s team on will continue to train hard the UK Kabaddi scene; in anticipation of their they’re the best in the rematch against LSE 1s world!” at the City Varsity. Watch The Kabaddi squad celebrating after their day of success // IC Kabaddi this space. 39 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

SPORTS [email protected] BOTTLE MATCH [email protected] Imperial dodgeball – Wolverines stay undefeated! RSM men’s hockey hold onto sharpley cup!

SPORTS a strong Hertfordshire single handedly whittled for example from our SPORTS frustration, but it wasn’t lead to yet another swift team, 16-12; having to down the Stags to a single Captain, Filip Sebest, long before Henry Sewell counter attack with four Lochlann Allison earn every point from an player. The game ended a allowed us to run down Rowan Hedgecock set up Rich Price for a Cornish players breaking Wolverine’s Secretary unfaltering opposition. draw – a fortunate result the clock and minimise RSM Men’s Hockey Captain well worked goal to raise free – a goal looked Although Hertfordshire considering our poor team the effectiveness of their RSM spirits both on and certain to cement CSM’s lost the last fixture, with effort. game victory. We knew off the pitch. Celebrations victory. Jonny Jones had 3 1 a much stronger point dif- After a shaky start, our strategy was working 3 3 were short lived though, other ideas as he stormed ference than us, a win for we settled as a team and as we entered the break; RSM CSM as a quick counter attack back to make a last ditch Imperial V Herts them could prove pivotal concentrated on shaping the score at 8-4. Men’s Men’s from CSM cancelled out interception to salvage Dodgeball Dodgeball in the conclusion of the the game to our liking. Although we struggled Hockey V Hockey the comeback effort and any hope RSM had. 1s A Team league. We won the next few to gain three ball advan- brought the game to 2-1 Jonny Jones was the The game started and games with fantastic tage off the start of each with ten minutes remain- pivotal man once more it was clear from the throw accuracy from Vino match, sporadic catches ing in the first half. A as he drilled home a short oing into last start that Hertfordshire from Leo Haigh and fter an intense frantic end to the half saw corner to bring the game weekend, changed their gameplan Lochlann Allison gave us warm up, a stray cross diverted in to 3-2 with 15 minutes Imperial from the previous match. “Throw initial number advantages Royal School off RSM defender, Steve remaining. Sensing the Wolverines 1st Instead of single throws which then allowed our of Mines won Pugh, to gift Camborne a game was getting away Gteam were leading the which allowed us gain lots together and strong throwers to pick off Athe toss and chose to play 3-1 lead at the half time from them, CSM held the University Dodgeball of catches, Herts resolved the Stags one by one. We with the sun behind them. whistle. ball in an attempt to run League South, closely to two ball throws, par- dodge alone” would’ve been naïve to It did little good. Four Rousing words from the clock down. This only The team ecstatic with the result and retaining the cup // Matthew Hayward followed behind by ticularly pinning our two think Hertfordshire would minutes into the game and the older lads rallied served to motivate RSM Hertfordshire Stags A’s wings, Nithin Thoppuram go down without a fight, all the meticulous game the side, and the Royal more as Howard Richards retain the Sharpley Cup, tackle by Captain Rowan had been given a different in second place. Last and Steve Ndumbe. Hert- Arulanthanan, Nithin, and gaining small advantages Wolverine’s post-game victory stance. // Wolverines day preparations seemed Miners from London went nearly broke the back- the Royal Miners dug in Hedgecock awarded script. A diving save to Saturday saw the second fordshire set the tempo in Steve after an in game of their own from getting to be in vain, as Camborne into the second half with board with a cannon of a and defended with their CSM’s Callum Fraser a his right denied the striker match of a back to back the first game, catching change of tactics. hits off pre-throws and rivals. With two wins fierce competition from School of Mines scored nothing left to lose. A shot to level the match at lives to see the game out. penalty stroke with the his moment of glory, and Imperial/Hertfordshire us off guard and pinging Hertfordshire answered with punishing counters at from two against the Stags the likes of UCL Pumas the opener. This only goal-line scramble ended 3-3 with just five minutes As the seconds ticked final hit of the game. It ensured the Sharpley Cup showdown; the winner of us out individually until back intermittingly with the half way line. and remaining unbeaten, and UEA Falcons 1s have proved to spur on RSM. A in disappointment as left to play. past 70 minutes, the ball seemed the comeback was would return to London which would most likely eventually, Steve was their own victories. In In the end, we remained we have a fantastic chance the potential to cause an goal line save to prevent the RSM comeback was Knowing a draw found its way back into wasted, but first year goal for a fifth consecutive go on to win the league. a lone Wolverine faced games where we went absolute as a team, and of defending our league upset. We will however, an equaliser added to the denied once more. This would be enough to the RSM circle and a late keeper Lekan Ogunlana year. At the previous encoun- with four Herts players. down on players, tre- worked a well-deserved champions title. However, as always, throw together ter, we narrowly ousted With little time left, Steve mendous dodging skills, victory from our closest the season is far from over: and dodge alone. Varsity headliners, Imperial netball 1s on top form Tough loss for RSM women’s hockey SPORTS Hampden-Martin and their way past players SPORTS the end of the first quarter Tilly Cole and Emily could not afford to make away any more turnovers. be sure to look out for us Elin Mars-Jones worked sending the ball up to we were winning 14-8. It Snook we were able to any more mistakes. This The final score was as the headlining event at Emily Gusterson incredibly hard along RSM guru Beth Holman Siu Teo was clear, however, from hold on to the lead, but was no problem for our 45-43 to IC which only Varsity! It is the first time RSM Women’s Hockey Captain with Bottle Match oldies who showed off her stick ICNC Honorary Secretary the start of the second by the end of the third other two 1s freshers goes to show how much in history that Netball Evelyn Mason and Beth skills alongside Yvonne quarter that Kingston quarter we were only up Aimee Spurling and Anna we have improved since are headlining, so please Grant and put pressure where they gave the CSM were not going to let it be by five. With an inter- Seidel who steadied the the beginning of the show your support for on the CSM attackers, defenders a fright in our an easy win for us. ception early on in the pace of the game and season. If you want to us next weekend in the 0 13 channelling them into attacking D. 45 43 With some great fourth quarter from the kept the centre court calm see an even more intense fight for gold against the RSM CSM the corners where our In the second half we Imperial Kingston shooting from freshers opposition we knew we ensuring we did not give and well contested game medics. Women’s Women’s glorious RSM spectators played our best hockey Netball Netball Hockey V Hockey voiced their approval. yet and went a full 15 1s V 1s Alice Tidswell domi- minutes with good nated her central position, possession and a strong :30am on Bottle sending out some brilliant attack. Our defence made Match morning – balls, and being down- us extremely proud with ince losing to the RSM hockey right amazing despite fresher Elin earning Man Kingston 1s at the girls were cruising being fresh out of two of the Match and Evelyn, beginning of the 7across Cornwall with injuries and having driven Naomi Tan, Minty, and season (despite tunes blasting and every- a minibus 300 miles the Beth fighting hard right to Sgreat play), we faced them one feeling nervous and day before, along with the very end. again last week knowing excited. Some were so The squad still smiles with the thought of festivities ahead // Matthew Hayward Evelyn Mason and Ruth Sadly we lost the game, we had something to overcome with the excite- Pike (our hockey girls but we worked hard and prove. The match started ment they couldn’t handle for the first seven or so the older girls yelled out quick and strong on the truly are the best). The (most importantly) had off fast-paced with solid it and had a little nap. minutes, with the defence encouragements and kept ball, making fast runs champagne moment goes more fun. play from IC, especially The match began with putting up an amazing everyone’s heads up. Our which kept our wingers to her dive, which resulted (Special thanks to from defensive duo Laila the roar of the RSM fight. Unfortunately new goalkeeper Qing Avni Patel, Yvonne Riley in her saving yet another George Decaudaveine Howe and Filippa Furniss, crowd rightly drowning CSM managed to get Hua, who had only started ,and Ruth Pike on their goal. Beth Grant, captain and Matthew Morris from who fought relentlessly out the half-hearted CSM through and we conceded playing a few weeks toes. Not much(ish) could Emily Gusterson, and RSM football who helped taking interception after attempts at making a noise. our first goal. Not to let previously, kept her head get past our defenders Louisa Young made CSM with subs). interception. This meant at ICUNC squad relaxing after a tough game of Netball // ICUNC The girls fought hard anyone’s spirits get low in the game. CSM were and our fresher’s Minty work hard and powered 40 41 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX FELIX ISSUE 1687

BOTTLE MATCH [email protected] BOTTLE MATCH [email protected] Undefeated RSM lacrosse team bring back the W Questionably bad loss for SPORTS After seeing off the Stephen Kwong found RSM badminton heart-pounding draw himself bagging a goal Antony Onwuli of the Men’s Hockey, after winning a ground RSM Lacrosse Captain the entire squad com- ball and rolling through SPORTS substituted victims. This to capitalise on weak mandeered a coach and CSM defences. year, the players put forth clears and high drops immediately set off from With two quarters re- Mustafa Iqbal by the CSM side were shots. So intense was Penzance to Penryn. maining, CSM stepped up RSM Badminton Player highly skilled and pos- the competition, that in 13 3 Arriving to the pitch their play (and fouls) and sessed flawless technique the first game, Vimbai’s RSM CSM with about 30 minutes to scored at the start of the (albeit their questionable strings were sacrificed in Lacrosse Lacrosse warm up did not deter our third quarter. The CSM sportsmanship in playing order for RSM to attain a V spirits. We got straight spectators went crazy as 0 9 four men and two women hard-fought second point. into our warm-up and the idea of a comeback RSM CSM in violation of the stipulat- Her backup racket left her straight into setting up swept through their minds. Badmin- Badmin- ed rules of an equal mix, at a severe disadvantage the goal we brought over After all, no Lacrosse ton V ton in addition to a few mem- for her and Mustafa’s ith rumours from London! match is decided until bers not even being part of remaining games, but they of an in- With goals from the final whistle, right? CSM, hailing instead from persisted nonetheless. jured Rugby Arianna Guppy, Charlotte In response to the CSM ollowing a glo- the foreign departments of The other two pairs were team, and Morphet, and Charlotte cheers, Ari once again rious victory of English and Media), heav- constituted of Humzah Netball happy with the progress they’ve made since last year // Matthew Hayward Wwith a series of well- Hampson, we quickly won the draw and scored 8-1 over CSM at ily punishing the weaker and Annie, and Haris fought but unfortunate found ourselves at the once again bringing the last year’s bottle abilities of the RSM side. and Evelyn respectively, losses, the pressure end of the first quarter score to 7-2, silencing the Fmatch, a fresh rendition As quickly as the impres- who all stepped up their was put onto the RSM 4-1 up, with the crowd CSM chants, and igniting Only team to win a game, lacrosse grin triumphantly // Matthew Hayward of the RSM badminton sions of an easy victory game to the competition RSM netball closer than Lacrosse team to bring going wild. Going into the once again the spirits of team was construed with were shattered, they were and played excellently. back a win for the Royal second quarter the game the RSM! Hero and Legend of Lygon Bowen-West was next year and of course, Vimbai returning to take replaced with the good Although the trophy was School of Mines in Bottle became much scrappier, Entering the final this amazing match was an unsung hero for his our third Bottle Match the helm. As the RSM spirits and sportsmanship lost, with the final score ever Match 2018. Our Bottle and the conditions of the quarter, with a 7-2 lead, Arianna Guppy, for her fantastic saves during the appearance, next year, at team warmed up, the of the RSM side, who 9-0 to CSM, all of the Match debut last year saw pitch did not help with the Royal Miners of overall dominance of game and general shutting home in Harlington! entrance of the CSM team persevered against the players thoroughly en- us win 10-3 at home, but the ground balls – in fact Lacrosse went all out the game. Stephen “The out of most goals from the To keep up to date with and their respective warm unstoppable force of the joyed the experience and SPORTS The late arrival of that streak going. Before now that we were away, we saw more grounded with goals left, right, Mighty Kwong” Kwong CSM’s attack. RSM Lacrosse, follow us up procedures struck an CSM team, clutching a high level of badminton Charlotte, our goal CSM knew it, we stepped surely a bigger challenge players then picked up and centre bringing the had also received nomi- We can’t wait for the on Instagram: @rsmla- unprecedented fear at the points where possible. was displayed for both Jen Heyes keeper, straight from her up our game and fought awaited us! ground balls. Fresher final score to 13-3. The nations for his goal, and growth of the club over the crosse hearts of RSM: it would The players had to adapt the RSM team to improve RSM Netball President final exams, along with back their advances with so happen that the ‘true’ their game to the signifi- and spectators to enjoy; some extra supporters incredible finesse. This CSM badminton team did cantly higher level faced, leaving all the more moti- Emily Friar (and our trusty RSM time the CSM support had not venture to London the with more power required vation to win it back next RSM Netball Captain Netball flag) did wonders nothing on our own - and CSM rally means RSM football’s drought continues previous year, and hence to return the oppositions’ year (if CSM bothers to to boost our moral. We we definitely gave them the 1-8 loss of CSM was shots, and increased at- send their actual team). got back on court for the something to cheer about. effectively a forfeit, with tention to placement as to start of the second quarter The score in the second SPORTS set pieces. Corner after kick from George Decau- the CSM lacrosse team the not allow the opposition 14 31 with our heads held high. quarter was a thrilling 7-7, corner, free kick after free daveine was whipped into RSM CSM bringing the score at half George kick, RSM wasted clear the second post, missing Netball Netball time to 17-7. Decaudaveine opportunities to take the everyone in the box to V “This new- In the third and fourth RSM Football Club Captain lead – missed chances nestle just inside the side quarters, we recognised they would come to rue. netting. RSM were right found energy that we had lost the On the 35 min mark CSM back in it and went into fter a 7am element of surprise. went long from a free kick halftime hungry to get the start, a long produced a Although the RSM team 1 3 within their own half. A win. journey down wild swing in fought valiantly, CSM RSM CSM lapse in concentration The match being very to Cornwall, remained the victors of Football Football from RSM centre back much a game of two half Aand a tense football game, the scores that the Bottle Match and the Club V Club George Decaudaveine left halves, CSM came out RSM Netball were ready Netball win eluded us for the CSM striker straight for the second half on the to take on their CSM proceeded to one more year. However, through on goal to calmly better side of pitch and counterparts. An indoor with a score of 31-14, fter last poke past the keeper. 1-0 the better team. The pitch court was more than throw off CSM” it is exciting to mention year’s result CSM completely against really told in the second welcome against the cold that this is the closest at Harlington the run of play, but RSM half as RSM started to Cornish weather but it RSM Netball has come to (1-1, first goal heads didn’t drop deter- come out second best on meant contending with This new-found energy winning the Bottle Match Ain 6 years), the team was Full squad posing post-game // Matthew Hayward mined to fight back. The the duels and this translat- some very loud support- produced a wild swing in so far. Year on year we looking to build on that goal proving to be just a ed on pitch to CSM dom- ers. RSM won the coin the scores that proceeded continue to narrow down performance and bring boggy Dracaena Centre being too uneven to play half. The early pressure blip, RSM continued to inating the second half. toss and Laura kicked off to throw off the CSM that goal difference. The home the first RSM victo- pitch, CSM kicked the any building football, told as RSM centre back play with high intensity, A miscommunication at the match with the first support and the CSM team improvement just goes ry since 2005. RSMAFC game off a little cautious- RSMAFC decided to Sam Mitchell sent a winning most duels and the back and fluky header centre pass. However, themselves. The RSM to show how the team went down to Cornwall ly. With the pitch immedi- pack the middle with a header cashing against the penning CSM back into later they were 3-1 up and the CSM support proved supporters more than is developing and, who undefeated in 7 games ately proving the biggest diamond playing two crossbar. CSM’s tentative their half. It was just kept the trophy. RSMAFC to be just as intimidating made up for their lack of knows? Maybe next year with their strongest squad problem for both teams up front. This worked to start continued as they before the half-time remain on the hunt to end as their shooters and we numbers by providing is the year that RSM in recent memory. it was clear the game their advantage as they gave away sloppy fouls whistle that RSM reaped the 13 year drought. finished the first quarter more than enough cheer Netball will be crowned In sunny but cold con- could only be played started strongly setting and RSM kept on pilling the rewards for their RSM and CSM players together post-matches, CSM brandishing their trophy // Mat- with a disheartening 10-0 to encourage our shooters, champions of the Netball ditions on the infamously in one way: the surface up camp in the opposition on the pressure from determined play. A free thew Hayward score line. Avni and Alice, to keep Bottle Match! 42 43 FR IDAY, 2 ND MARCH, 2018 FELIX

BOTTLE MATCH [email protected]

Bottle Match The Bottle returns to Camborne Final Scores Following last year’s exciting win for the , this year’s edition of the Bottle 5 35 RSM CSM Match sees the boys heading down to Cornwall, for a hotly-contested match that ends in CSM’s Men’s V Men’s favour Rugby Rugby Rugby SPORTS Harry Allingham RSM Rugby Player 3 3 RSM CSM Men’s V Men’s 5 35 Hockey Hockey RSM CSM Men’s Hockey Rugby Rugby Team V Team

he Royal School 0 13 of Mines made RSM CSM the long sev- Women’s Women’s en-hour journey Hockey V Hockey Tdown to Newquay for the 116th Bottle Match against Camborne School of Women’s Hockey Mines. Although the jour- ney was long, it was made somewhat more enjoyable by the numerous games of 13 3 chase the ace played. The RSM CSM memory of the loss two Lacrosse Lacrosse years ago and lodge 15 V antics was a huge motiva- CSM breaking through RSM lines // Matthew Hayward tion for the boys and we felt confident going into with Harry Allingham from the CSM number 8, in the game. The next part Amin Omarouayache, Lacrosse the game following last being bundled over for a took them into the RSM of the match saw RSM RSM could well have year’s comfortable win try from a driving maul twenty-two; although play some quality rugby. scored and found them- over CSM. to take the score to 5-5. the defence was strong, selves back in the game. Unlike the mud bath particularly from the likes This didn’t, however, 3 1 two years ago, the pitch of Will Aynsley, Martin “Strong damp the RSM spirits and RSM CSM was dry and well suited to “Unlike the Head, and Nathan Tom- more quality hands led carrying Football V Football the free-flowing game of mud bath two linson, CSM managed to more chances, but as the RSM; following a near to score again to take the from the RSM has been seen throughout perfect warm up the boys years ago, the score to 12-5 following the season, the chances were ready for what was a couple of disallowed forwards couldn’t be converted into Football undoubtedly one of the pitch was dry tries, much to the credit points. As time began to most important games of of the RSM defence. A sucked in CSM run out, CSM regained the year. The start of the and well suited late penalty from CSM the ball and took their defence, and match saw RSM receive to the free- meant the half-time score chances. Two tries and a 14 31 the kick-off and, follow- was 15-5. A particular created space penalty in the last twenty RSM CSM ing a poor exit, CSM flowing game highlight from the first minutes put the game Netball Netball went over the line within half was Alex Amato out wide” to bed with a final score V the first few minutes. of the RSM” ‘gerrarding’ the ball into of 35-5, making it two The worst possible start. the CSM crowd – shame unsuccessful away trips to This was compounded by it missed them all. Strong carrying from the Cornwall in a row. Netball the loss of RSM stalwart RSM continued mounting RSM came out in the RSM forwards sucked in Although the bottle had Ruairi Dunne to a broken pressure and Allingham second half still confident CSM defence and created been lost, it was not going hand. The RSM did should have had a second of turning around the space out wide. Soft hands to stop the RSM boys from 0 9 however fight back with from a driving maul, had deficit. However another from the likes of James having a quality afternoon RSM CSM strong phase play leading it not been held up. Even- poor start led to an early Field, Colonel Nick UA and evening. The festivi- Badmin- Badmin- to a number of penalties. tually CSM turned over second half try from CSM and Allingham began to ties went on well into the ton V ton This drove RSM deep the ball and momentum taking their lead out to create overlaps and, had it early hours of the morning into CSM territory, where shifted to them. Numerous 22-5. RSM knew they had not been for a forward pass and were finished off with Badminton we got our just reward line breaks, in particular to score next to get back from fly-half come prop numerous grecs. 44