The New Hampshire Gazette, Friday, April 24, 2020 — Page 1 Vol. CCLXIV, No. 16 The New Hampshire Gazette Grab Me! April 24, 2020 The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 •
[email protected] • www.nhgazette.com I’m Free! The Fortnightly Rant “Darwin’s On Deck…” n times as terrible as these—the herent and self-contradictory jabber news cycle dominated by daily in- with the lowest signal-to-noise ratio Ifomercials featuring a clearly addled since the Tower of Babel fell. We mountebank praising his own ho- have all seen the photo: the source micidally ham-fisted response to a of this chaos and confusion, staring lethal pandemic; the global economy with naked eyes at a solar eclipse. So, wheezing like a chain-smoker in the too, are we transfixed by him—the Tour de France; choruses of ignored Black Hole of Meaninglessness. As scientists chanting a litany of pend- with a black hole, the thing itself ing but unaddressed environmental cannot be seen—only the havoc it catastrophes; and, apparently, no wreaks. baseball—we must keep our heads, To better see what’s actually in and strive to accomplish whatever front of us, let us imagine something good we can. As one small step to- a little different, something to which ward that end, we propose the aboli- we have not become blind by staring tion of the term “intelligent design.” at it for too long: the President is a Intelligent design, as we all know, black woman, a socialist, exhorting is a weasel-phrase engineered to her supporters to strap on their guns insinuate religion into our public and assemble on the steps of state schools under an assumed name.