ISSUE #28 This Here... “...we’re probably all in similar positions...” (I Millsted)

instead, not knowing that there was even more thickness to EGOTORIAL come. A couple of cheap whiskeys in already (and this is only mid- DILIGENCE AND THICKNESS afternoon in The Meadows) because I had to do some out- I see that h/t is a common abbreviation on the internet loud reading of the monthly writing assignment, I linked up machine that the yoots have embraced, and as you might to Zoom via FBF to be greeted by a slightly harried-looking expect it took me the usual many months to figure it out, but still very smiley Steven Cain who managed to convey to although at least it was in the context of sharing something thick me what was going on while I presented as a blank funny or useful and that gave me an actual clue. There’s still screen and sweary audio (which inevitably got worse). I quite a few of these acronyms that I can’t decipher at all, but signed in and out a couple of times with no change to the I’d guess most of them are trivial anyway. The one that lack of camera (even though the status said it was on), so wasn’t I got explained to me by Jane Carnall, whose posts I sans image I ended up in the “corridor party” breakout read eagerly for their editorial which was home to some quality on current affairs. I familiar faces. couldn’t decipher the term Fishlifters looking wickedly ‘TERF’, despite context, so with cheerful leading to the the usual apology for thickness assumption that drink may asked Jane what it was, and have been taken; Christina having been told I still well Lake and Doug Bell looking recall my amazement and fitter than anyone has any right follow-up remark of “That’s an to be (and I despair that while actual thing?”. I was assured Chrissie and I are the same age, that it is, and thus by small she’s running marathons while increments my education I get achy walking to the fridge continues. for the next beer); Mike Typical Farey digression there, Abbott looks to have not aged since what I wanted to convey was going to start with a h/t, a day in 30 years, even though but that’s ridiculously insufficient to the effusive praise he runs his fingers through the still luxuriant mane, claiming which should be heaped upon Alison Scott (and Steven much greyness; even Sorensen doesn’t appear to be Cain) for setting up a massive virtual Eastercon “room embracing any kind of dotage yet; Max seems to have the party” on Saturday night, April 11th via Zoom. I was a highest quality camera and still has that cheeky grin. Lilian couple hours late to the show, since we had another online Edwards rather bizarrely appears as a dark and blurry event here starting at the same time, our monthly Writers’ smear against a tropical background. I’ll just leave that there. Group get-together which we did as a FBF videocall group. I spotted a text chat facility and tapped out a couple of That seemed to work all right, although apparently the “hellos” which were sensibly ignored by all except my group call function doesn’t like working unless you’re “Booze Brother” Tobes Valois, who gives a shout-out to the running Chrome, so I ended up peering at my phone room that I am there, albeit invisible, which given the apparent rude health of the rest of the assembly makes me

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glad they aren’t getting subjected to my image, as I suspect know mine did). John and Alan wanted to carry on, so they several of them might preemptively start sending flowers if grabbed a bass player and second guitarist and christened they were. I made the mistake of mentioning “the Sorensen themselves “the Rezillos”. John, Alan and second guitarist joke” which I am urged to tell, fuck nose why since everyone Mark Harris were sharing vocal duties but none of them appeared to go into shock when I did. And I thought were much good at playing and singing at the same time, so everyone knew it by now anyway. Attempts to ameliorate Alan, likely the worst actual singer of the three stepped out this with “the Mike Ashley joke” were shouted down, even from behind the skins and put on wrap-around shades that with my insistence that the latter does not include the word he found on a beach somewhere. They got in another “cunt”. drummer, acquired a sax player, and Alan brought in a I found it difficult to participate without any video of me up couple of fashion students, Sheilagh Hynde and Gail there, and I’m guessing there are psychological reasons for Jamieson as a girlie chorus. This would have been around this from both sides. Primarily, perhaps, when no-one’s able August of 1976, and the band practised pretty hard before to see me react to whatever else is going on I’m effectively their Guy Fawkes’ night debut at Edi Uni student union. “not there”, since all I can do is shout to get attention which In the tradition of, perhaps, “Captain Sensible” and “Rat is a bit rude, innit. So I gave up after a bit, as nice as it was to Scabies” among others, group members took on silly see so many fine fannish friends. They might have heard pseudonyms. For example, John Callis (who was going by some background mumbling and grumbling as Jen and “Jo” anyway) became “Luke Warm”, Jamieson became meself tried to figure out what was up with the fuckin’ “Gayle Warning”, and after a mercifully brief moment as camera, all to no avail. “Candy Floss”, Hynde transformed into her better known Next morning we had another try at figuring it out, alter ego “Fay Fife”, most non-Scots having to be clued to including some allegedly interactive chat with a help desk the fact that this was a punning “from Fife” in her robot, all to no avail. “Oh well”, sez Jen, “I suppose we’ll Dunfermline accent. Most whimsically, Alan Forbes just have to look for an external camera that you can plug in.” nicked the name of a bloke he’d worked a summer job with Anyone wondering why I didn’t just scoot over and use the and became “Eugene Reynolds”. Mac instead should be told that the old dear grinds to a halt if asked to do anything internetty. A little while later I look at the back of the HP as I am given to understand that’s where stuff gets plugged in, and notice a slim little boxy thing at the top, in the middle. Understandably curious, I grab hold of it, and the thing slides up above the screen to reveal... the fuckin’ camera! Apparently this is a clever little anti-hack thing whereby if some miscreant does access the device from somewhere else, they don’t get to see anything with the lens tucked away. On the scale of how daft do I now feel, this is above average. I’ll put me teeth in for Jim Mowatt’s Dead Dog Zoom party, then... It’s all good. Nic Farey, April 2020

RADIO WINSTON

TWO YEARS IN THE LIFE Most readers, I would guess, would respond to a remark that there’ve been quite a few notables who are either alumni of or associated with the Edinburgh College of Art with something like “Well, yeah, probably, so what?” A couple of lads, John Callis (guitar) and Alan Forbes (drums), were playing in a party band in 1975 doing 50s and 60s covers, but that fell apart, as college bands tend to do (I

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That first gig consisted of just 50s and 60s covers and went recording in a brand-new American studio! What could down a storm, which in retrospect was unsurprising to then possibly go wrong? bassist “Dr D K” (Dave) Smythe who later wrote that the Well, not entirely what you might have guessed might band were “slick, highly professional, well-rehearsed, and happen with a bunch of Edinburgh students let loose in offered 60 minutes or so of frantic, non-stop fun rock looking NYC. Right from the off the band had concentrated on back to the late 1950s”. rehearsal and gigging with a strictly adhered to “no drugs, There can’t be a lot of bands who’ve had such an instant no groupies” policy, and thus ‘Can’t Stand the Rezillos’ was positive reaction to their first ever gig, but this bunch of done in pretty short order. Sire, however, wanted to delay students (as they still were) knew exactly what to do about the release for three months so their distribution with it, and did something like eight months of solid gigging and Phonogram would expire and they could move to Warner, released their first single “Can’t Stand My Baby”. There’d which left a group that had been constantly working already been a bit of shuffling going on - since Reynolds and throughout their existence in the unexpected position of Fife got to know each other (ahem, in the Biblical sense), Fay doing fuck-all, and having to cancel planned tours while was moved upfront to share lead vocal duties, making Gail a waiting for the green light. bit surplus to requirements, so she left. Jo Callis had been Dave Smythe had noted early on that there were two finding his chops as a songwriter, and at this point the band factions in the band: the “front line” of Reynolds and Fife vs decided to turn pro, being able to take a year sabbatical from the rest (primarily Jo Callis), but everyone was chafing at the their Art School responsibilities. Smythe and Mark “Hi-Fi” inaction, especially a very frustrated Ali Donaldson who quit Harris decided they’d rather return to their day job and and was replaced by Simon Bloomfield (rechristened “Simon studies respectively, so amicably left, and so sax player Ali Templar”). The album got a July release, and a re-recorded Donaldson (“William Mysterious”) shifted to bass in the version of the slice ‘Top of the Pops’ (with Templar on bass) now five-piece lineup. was put out to promote it, naturally resulting in an The band signed to Sire records, which at that time had a appearance on the titular show, all associated irony naturally decent rep due to having both Talking Heads and the lost on the BBC. Ramones in their label lineup, so Sire got to release the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roZ_plpJGCM second single, ‘(My Baby Does) Good Sculptures’ b/w ‘Flying Saucer Attack’ in October 1977, which did get a sniff Everyone was getting a sore case of the arse as they went to at the lower reaches of the charts. Sire reckoned it would be the Manor studios in October to record the follow-up single a good idea to record an album at the just-opened Power ‘Destination Venus’ with Martin Rushent twiddling the Station studio in New York, so February took the Rezillos knobs - Reynolds in particular didn’t like the cover photo, there. Think about that for a sec - a band of Scots students the mix, or the cost (5,000 quid), and there was a load of just about fifteen months after their first ever gig are grumping about the record label. The final nail went in four dates into the subsequent tour when Fay Fife got scarring of the vocal chords and the remaining gigs had to be cancelled. On hiatus again so soon after the previous load of sitting around, Fay Fife told Melody Maker about a conversation with Jo Callis who was getting some ear’ole off their manager: “[T]he other three in the band wanted to toe the line more because of pressure from our manager, who was finding the job really difficult, and he was getting pressure from the record company to make us act as though we liked them”. Reynolds and Fife weren’t much on this kind of pretense, so with no consensus forthcoming the band decided to split up on 22 November. A farewell gig was organized at the Glasgow Apollo for 23 December and included guest appearances by William Mysterious and Gayle Warning, and was recorded for release the following year as ‘Mission Accomplished... But the Beat Goes On’. Two years in the life...

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mostly electronic publishing, I’d suggest that the possible FAAN FUTURE perception of the perzine as some kind of “poor relation” is now a non-starter. Certainly in my view, The White Notebooks, WHAT’S NEXT? for example, holds its own against any other title out there in As you’d imagine, as the incoming FAAn awards terms of a list of considerations that I apply to my own administrator I’ve been having some convo with the New voting, which I’ll elaborate on in a later column, but for now Boss (not the same as the Old Boss) Rob Jackson about I’d like you to consider one such parameter, applicable to policy for next year’s go. As he evidently mostly correctly any and all fanzines, which I’ll describe as “fitness for expected, we’ll be having a return to the format of my last purpose”. For the argument in which ‘Best Fanzine’ is a tenure, albeit with some minor-ish changes which are likely combined category, we could compare a couple of titles to be uncontroversial to everyone except Andy Hooper. which might reflexively be considered at “opposite ends” of some perceived spectrum. SF Commentary is rightly admired There is, however, one substantial change I’m rather keen on for its studiedly sercon philosophy and would definitely be whereas the Doc isn’t so much, and he suggested that we thought of as highly fit for purpose by its dedicated open a discussion in these pages to poll a wider range of readership, yet equally scoring in that area would be opinion. CyberCozen. Possibly the most fit for purpose zine out there is While retaining ‘Special Publication’ as a separate fanzine Ansible. category, I’m becoming quite strongly in favor of Naturally it’s entirely subjective how much weight a voter recombining the genzine and perzine categories into a single would give that parameter (or any other), but what I’m ‘Best Fanzine’ award. As an offset to what might be seen as trying to demonstrate is that all fanzines can be mentally shunting some titles out of contention, I’d increase the ranked according to a set of values, not just those within number of voting slots to, say, six (rather than four for ‘genzine’ and ‘perzine’ categories, which even within everything else). themselves contain very different ideas of what a ‘fanzine’ is. I surmise (but as usual am willing to be corrected) that the That nice Doc Jackson (who will have the final say on this) original split of the fanzine category came about because of a responded to my saying that I’m trying to argue for giving perception that what we might call “big production” ishes perzines and genzines “equal billing” by pointing out that, in had an inherent advantage over the generally smaller and his view, that gets done by “letting them keep their own perhaps scruffier (albeit often more frequent) perzines. I category”. He went on to suggest that (as was, I admit, an contend that this supposed “advantage” no longer exists. instinctive reaction of my own) in a combined category the There’s also a certain gradation between the two formats genzines would dominate, and I agree that this has been which makes categorization less clear-cut, even though when historically the case. Even though the 2020 perzine winner we’re trying to define whether something is a genzine or got more votes that the genzine winner(s) in their respective perzine, like porn, we tend to think that “we know it when categories, it is notable that in the overall ‘Best Fanzine’ we see it”. I’ve tended to apply the Pareto principle (80/20 category that there’s only two perzines in the top ten, placing rule) as a marker of the separation, and that works well at 7th and 9th. enough, but there have certainly been ishes of nominal Rob also notes that these are the Fanzine Activity ‘genzines’ which have Achievement awards, so sometimes appeared as by having just the one perzines (Banana Wings fanzine category (plus has been one example) ‘Special Publication’) and perzines with “we are leaving the multiple contributors category list a bit thin”. I (which was the case with could counter-argue, at least one ish of perhaps, by adding Vibrator). The former, of emphasis and suggesting course, would correctly that in the Fanzine be categorized as a Activity Achievement genzine in general, as awards the individual would the latter as a categories (Fanwriter etc) perzine, such “one-off” convey more ‘boo. format changes notwithstanding. So let’s have your esteemed opinions... In these modern times of

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The F.A. had first met in October 1863 at The Freemasons’ FOOTY Tavern, Great Queen Street, London, just on the boundaries of the city’s business and theatre districts. The purpose of BY DAVID HODSON this meeting was to finalise a set of uniform rules for the Nic had suggested, as real, live football was still suspended, public schools of the day to play by, but this proved to be that I catch up with the Netflix series ‘The English Game’, a akin to herding cats, and eventually, in 1871, after years of dramatization ostensibly about the origins of football in wrangling about “handling”, “hacking”, and the like, England, so I gave it a binge and thought: “Okay, I have Football became a distinct sport and The Rugby Football things to say about this.” Then, as I waited for a new power Union was founded at the Pall Mall restaurant in London in supply for my main PC to land on the doorstep (I’d order to administer the handling game. upgraded the graphics card and the machine suddenly kept All of the eleven club and school representatives that met on falling over. Been there, seen it, done it before, it’s the power 26 October were from London, the new rules were finally supply not feeding enough juice to the double heat sinked, adopted at the sixth meeting of the newly constituted double fanned, AMD Radeon monster that I’d bought just to Football Association in December 1863, and an inaugural be able to play Age Of Empires on Windows bloody game to establish the new rules was scheduled to be played 10….ggggrrrrr!!!!), I rewatched ‘The Damned United’, the at Battersea Park on January 2nd 1864, but, such was still the movie dramatization about, not really of, Brian Clough’s 44- ad hoc nature of the fledgling body, Barnes and neighbours day disaster as manager of Leeds United in 1974, and Richmond, who weren’t even a member of the newly formed realised, in order to tell the story properly and give The F.A., played the first match under the new rules at Mortlake English Game’s “story” the proper perspective, that the cart on December 19th 1863. The game ended 0-0 and, allegedly, had to be put firmly in front of the horse in this case. Richmond were so unimpressed by the new rules, they Premier League clubs are living in a “moral vacuum” became a leading advocate for the eventual formation of The and players should be first to sacrifice salaries during the Rugby Football Union. coronavirus pandemic, say politicians. The first inter-city game played under the new rules was in Julian Knight, the chair of the Department for Culture, 1866 between London and Sheffield. Played on March 31st at Media and Sport committee, has condemned the actions Battersea Park in London, the Game ended 2 (4) - 0 (0) to of some Premier League clubs, who have furloughed London. The rules of the time still included touches down as non-playing staff. well as goals, hence the two scoring systems quoted, as Tottenham, Newcastle and Norwich have opted to utilise players were allowed to catch or knock the ball on with their the government’s job retention scheme during the hands, but not allowed to throw it or run with it. William pandemic. Chesterman, who captained Sheffield, remembered the game “It sticks in the throat,” said Knight. in an interview nearly forty years later: “Knocking on was allowed, and every goal that was scored was knocked “This exposes the crazy economics in English football through, many a fist found a nose. Still it was a pleasant and the moral vacuum at its centre.” match” [Loud laughter]. A definitive set of rules wasn’t https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52120578 agreed upon until April 1877 after a series of sixteen inter- 01/04/2020 association test matches under differing rule sets were Julian Knight would happily ascribe the “moral vacuum” at played and evaluated. the heart of English football to the Premier League, a The origins of the Football League involved nothing quite as relatively modern bureaucratic creation. It was put together “Corinthian” as establishing rules. It was a purely economic by the owners of the clubs in the top league, Division One as exercise. On March 22nd 1888, William McGregor, a director was, in the lead up to the 1992/3 season and was designed to of Aston Villa in Birmingham, wrote to his fellow directors wrest control of the lucrative television negotiating rights and the directors of Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers, away from the Football League and put them in the hands of Preston North End, Stoke, and West Bromwich Albion, about the clubs and the Football Association. The irony of this the establishment of a league competition that would situation was that the origins of the Football Association lay provide a guaranteed number of home and away fixtures for in the formation of the F.A. Cup in 1871, back when each club. It’s been argued that he got the idea from publicity footballers were amateurs, whereas the Football League was for an early American College Football League in the English established in 1888 in order to allow the top clubs of the day press; American sports were a source of fascination to to play regular fixtures against each other, maximise income, English sports entrepreneurs even in Victorian times. A and pay professional wages after the F.A. finally admitted, in baseball league has been operating in England since 1892, 1885, that it was fighting a losing battle against under the but the American approach to the sport had been catching on table payments to “mercenaries”.

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here since American professional teams toured Britain in could work in any one day and restricted the ages that 1874. employers could employ children from. The number of acts The first meeting of the assorted directors was held in going forward from Peel’s Factory Act of 1819 compelled London on March 23rd 1888, the eve of the F.A. Cup Final employers not to employ children under 9, limited the hours between West Bromwich Albion and Preston North End at of children aged 9 to 16, outlawed the employment of Kennington Oval, WBA won 2-1. Less than a month later, on women on nightshifts in mills and factories, and prohibited April 17th, the League was formally created and named at a children and women from working on agricultural gangs. meeting in the Royal Hotel, Manchester. The first season of That had the same effect on employment in England as the the Football League kicked off on September 8th 1888 and various plagues had had on the transition from slavery to consisted of twelve clubs from the midlands and north of serfdom to tenanted farmers over the medieval period. If an England: Accrington, Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Bolton employer was compelled to limit the hours he could employ Wanderers, Burnley, Derby County, Everton, Notts County, anyone for, but was also compelled to pay the employee the Preston North End, Stoke, West Bromwich Albion, and same amount (no matter how pitiful it might have been), Wolverhampton Wanderers. then the employer was going to find a way to rake some of that money back and football’s popularity offered that It’s no coincidence that the twelve original members were opportunity. not from London or the Home Counties, just as it’s no Legend has it that Hotspur coincidence that the northern Football Club was founded by a clubs had “directors”, whereas a group of five schoolboys, lot of the southern clubs were members of the Hotspur Cricket formed from loose Club, under a street lamp on th amalgamations of players from September 5 1882. In April 1884, government establishments like they became Tottenham Hotspur the Woolwich Arsenal, or after a mix-up in postal deliveries previously established sports or with another club called Hotspur. athletics clubs, or churches. They were named after Sir Henry Percy, commonly known as Sir The British General Election of Harry Hotspur, a late-medieval th Thursday December 12 2019 nobleman, who was the second was a crushing experience for Earl of Northumberland and many people in the United nephew of Thomas Percy, Earl of Kingdom, with Boris Johnson’s Worcester. The Percy family held Conservative party winning an 80-seat parliamentary land in the area of Tottenham marshes, hence Worcester majority. Probably the most surprising and depressing Avenue and Northumberland Park bordering the club’s aspect of this victory was the support that Johnson garnered stadium. Contrary to popular belief, Everton Football Club in towns and cities in the north of England (not Scotland, I was not formed out of the workers of a toffee factory, but hasten to add). England is a country that has traditionally was also set-up by members of a local church; the St. been divided north from south all the way back to Roman Domingo Methodist Chapel cricket team wanted to be able times with the establishment of Britannia Prima and to play sport all year round. Crystal Palace, in common with Britannia Secunda in Diocletian’s third century reformation Liverpool and Chelsea, was set-up, in its second incarnation, of the Empire. The south of the country has benefited from by land owners who held the lease of the venue of the F.A. close proximity to continental Europe, the capital city of Cup final, and were desperate to attract new visitors to the London (again, established by the Romans) sits at the tidal Crystal Palace which had been relocated to Penge Peak, next limit of the River Thames. London has been a cosmopolitan to Sydenham Hill, following the Great Exhibition of 1851 in city for hundreds of years, Elizabeth I and her Privy Council Hyde Park. It would take a whole book to examine the were issuing open letters to the Lord Mayor of London and varied origins of all the football clubs that have played in the all his officers about “Blackamoors” in 1596. The north of the Football League over its lifetime. Pick one you like the name country (and, to be fair, not just the north, but also the of and google it, then pick another; you’ll probably find two western counties of Cornwall, Devon, and Somerset, as well very different stories. as Wales) has been forced to rely on the more backbreaking tasks of mining, farming, and other heavy industries. The Next time round I’ll look at the stories in ‘The English origins of the earliest northern English football clubs were Game’, compare them to the reality, and discuss why English intrinsically bound up with the Industrial Revolution and football owes much of its early quality to Scotsmen. What’s the various acts that limited the amount of time an employee that you say? Current football? Nah, that’s months off…

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than I would at work, partly to get the work done but also to LOCO CITATO fill the time from when I get up until the evening meal, with 10 to 12 hour days spilling over into weekends. That’s From: [email protected] almost certainly not sustainable in the long term, and Vikki March 29,31 is already starting to get annoyed. Steve Jeffery writes: What we’ll do when we run out of jigsaw puzzles and box Well that was weird. I just clicked on David Redd’s sets is anyone's guess. Luckily we have a pile of the former, comment about “the tv views of empty Trafalgar Square are stockpiled from before the charity shops shut, and I’m now eerie yet familiar, half-remembered from Day of the Triffids” thankful that I picked up a box set of The Killing II and a and you disappeared. Or This Here... did, with an odd three disc compilation of clips from Jools Holland’s Later. message that it was trying to link to Desktop/Flash on your Last night we watched Joker, a present from Vikki and a PC (localhost/users/nicfarey/). Not at all sure about that. superb movie that actually relies on a script and acting I’ve not seen that sort of warning before and, given I’m rather than CGI effects. currently using my work laptop (we are working remotely The truth is, mate, I’m frightened. I always thought I was from home for the foreseeable future), I disabled it. But he’s fairly blase about the prospect of my own death. I’ve right. I haven’t seen that exact view on tv, but other clips are considered it often enough. But it feels a lot different when reminiscent of any number of post apocalypse sci-fi films it's a real and imminent possibility, and that fear is (but hopefully not Quatermass and the Pit which was shown something I’ve only experienced a couple of times before in the other night.) the throes of a particularly bad illness . [[Weird indeed, and weird enough for me [[Yeah, it’s all but impossible to not think to email an informational update to the about it. I’ve started referring to the distribution list. If you clicked anywhere situation (now that our Governor has on the page 4 text the pdf tried to make officially issued a stay-at-home order, that link, resulting in an error message. I making it de jure rather than the de facto couldn’t fathom how to fix it in the it was) as “house arrest”. When you don’t original Pages software, despite sage have a routine of work to occupy you it’s advice from Magister Burns and Max hard to get motivated to do anything - I Harden, but did get rid of the problem noticed myself slipping into old jail (hopefully) for thish and the future by the habits of sleeping as much as possible to simple expedient of deleting that page. pass the time. Yesterday, though, I made a Burnsy, of course, did his wizardry so bit more of a conscious effort to not do that the file on efanzines doesn’t have this that, puttered in the garage a bit doing problem...]] some tidying and deliberately spent a Vikki and I are, as you would expect, little time sitting on the low wall out holed up in the house until further notice or we run out front to get some fresh air. For the next again of perishable basics (bread, milk etc.), but at least we few days at least we’re having typical Vegas spring weather don’t have avoid each other or keep out of parts of the same - sunny with a little breeze and temperatures in the 70s house to avoid contact with anyone else. That must be (whatever that is in French money), so it was exceptionally difficult. For me the thing that brought it home was last pleasant. Given that I’ve spent the last five years both Sunday on my birthday when having opened my presents hanging with other drivers on the cab stands, chit-chatting from Vikki I automatically went over to give her a kiss and with valets and, of course, interacting with the public. Two she pulled back with a “better not”. That did it, even more and a half weeks (as I write*) of not doing that is a sea than being sent home the previous Friday to start working change, especially for someone as naturally gregarious from home. (ahem, probably) as meself...]] I’m luckier than some that I still have a job and am able to [[*Update: now on day 40-something...]] work from home. The downside of that is that it’s starting to And yes, like you, I have started to sign off most of my take over. Home broadband is obviously slower than the letters “Take care. Stay safe”. direct LAN link at work so everything is taking much longer I suspect you're on a losing game here, Nic, with your VAR than normal, especially with large Oracle databases, but our analysis of FAAn votes and how they could be redistributed deadlines haven’t yet been reset for adjusting to new between categories to arrive at different outcomes. That’s circumstances. And I have to confess that I am using work to always going to be a possibility unless the final voting is a occupy me as a distraction from what’s going on, with the straight choice between pre-selected short list nominations consequence that I am working far longer hours at home

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for each category (in which case you shunt the same dubious pleasure to me, especially after the recent results arguments forward into what goes into with the cases of Frank Lunney and Steve Stiles, which you the category nomination lists). Not that I think you shouldn’t discuss here. With great power comes great responsibilities, do it, or that I’m averse myself to playing “what if” games and clearly your great power has had tragic consequences. with data (much of which I do for a living), but personally I Maybe you stop doing that kind of thing until you can think that the problem is always going to persist if the same establish the limits and true potential of your insult powers. item can be selected for more than one category (e.g [[If that really was a true superpower, Frank and Steve fanzine/genzine/special/ perzine/apazine/other) and wouldn’t have been on the list and several others would...]] edged out by another which has less votes overall but all in the same category. (I haven’t seen the numbers, so some of I suppose it was inevitable that the ancient Chinese curse this is just speculation.) would come true; namely “May you live in interesting times!” Times have definitely been a lot more interesting [[One of my overarching points is that there wasn’t much this year than I ever anticipated. Fanac in the time of the enforced consistency (which I believe should be part of the plague is clearly one of those bitter-sweet consequences of admin’s job) and thus certain titles garnered votes in more the curse. than one (sub-)category, to their obvious detriment in terms of the final results. See also comments on Leigh Edmonds’ The obvious problems with the coronavirus plague is that a loc..]] lot of people are going to get sick and die from it. I am 76 years old, soon to be 77, so I’m definitely in that deadly 20% I had hoped though that after your naming and shaming, fatality range if I happen to get COVID-19. this year we would have seen more than 23 voters. (Sez he, who only started voting last year...) (As a mindless aside, I wonder who comes up with the names for all these new exotic diseases? Were there 18 On the other hand, any of three vying for the top slot of Best previous COVID virus related illnesses that we never heard Fanzine would have pleased me if they won. I’m pretty sure about before? Is there a special panel of doctors and hospital I voted for all three. Yes, it’s all fluff (and I confess I am administrators who decide on names for new maladies? immensely pleased and grateful for my bit of it) but if people Obviously you need some name that is snappy and attracts are willing to put some serious care and effort into their both attention and respect. You can’t just call the new fanac, then we should do the same when rewarding them. sickness The Creeping Crud, or the Fruit Bat Coughing [[I can quite agree that the “winners” are all deserving of the Malignancy. Who would pay any attention to a new malady accolade, my problem is with how John got them there...]] like Dirty Lung Wheezer? COVID-19; now that does have a I’ve been staring the same “data step running” message certain ring of ominous authority to it, and those numbers, it now for nearly 45 minutes for a database query to download just smacks of cutting edge medical science! But I digress.) (working remotely from home is proving painfully slow [[Inevitably I had to look that up, and discovered, today). I could be doing something better with the time, like unamusingly, that the waste of skin Rush Limbaugh had reading the letters section of This Here... stated to his audience that there were 18 previous versions So Jerry Kaufman wonders, apropos my comment about that we hadn’t noticed because they’re common. This was in Aragorn having many names, if I remember all of the six late February and early March, where the bag of wind also names of Strider. I’m sorry to disappoint him, but it’s been mused, with his usual intelligence, upon the definition of forty-odd years since I read Lord of the Rings (on long night “lethal” : (“Does ‘lethal’ kill you?...”). The actual etymology: shifts in the cleaning crew at a paper mill), and my memory ‘COVID-19’ = “coronavirus disease 2019”...]] of that phrase in fact comes instead from Harvard The current policies applied very unevenly in the United Lampoon’s Bored of The Rings (which is considerably shorter, States seem absolutely inadequate to me to stop any sort of and sometimes funnier). In that, one of them was “Stomper”. contagious disease, especially a very mobile, long living bug like the new coronavirus.

✻ ✻ ✻ In many states the governors have shut down all “non- essential businesses”, but what is that supposed to mean, From: fabfi[email protected] actually? This morning I saw a venetian blind store and a March 31 muffler shop both open for business like always. Any business is “essential” if you happen to need their services. Bob Jennings writes: In this state (Massachusetts) nobody is actually enforcing the [D]efinitely a mixed bag issue this time round. shut-down orders. I found your comments about your penchant for [[They’ve been enforced here to the extent of revoking deliberately insulting fellow fans hoping they would return business licenses. My local smoke shop was one such the favor in kind to be more than odd. It seems like a casualty...]]

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Restaurants are all closed except for takeout or delivery some degree of isolation are just going to delay the spread of orders. Beauty shops, barber shops are all shut down. The the disease, presumably enuf so that hospitals and the schools and libraries are closed and local governments medical people (not to say the funeral parlors and except for the police and fire departments are operating on a mortuaries) do not become completely overwhelmed. skeleton staff basis inside sealed buildings. If you have [[That’s the point of stay-at-home orders and social something that needs to be done at city hall or a municipal distancing, to “flatten the curve” in the faint hope that department, slide an envelope thru the mail slot and they’ll medical facilities will be able to cope with the outbreak. As get back to you, someday. Or you could try to call. Playing you correctly observe, this is a delaying tactic - the total phone roulette is an exercise in endless aggravation even numbers of infections aren’t likely to be any less than they when the city and town government offices are fully staffed. would be without these measures, but the theory is that the Now it’s almost impossible to reach anybody or get any kind number of deaths ought to be less if the hospitals aren’t of answer to any inquiry. swamped...]] [[Jen’s been on hold for the last three days trying to get Meanwhile, trying to shut down civilization has created through to the SNAPS office (slight exaggeration), which she incredible economic hardship for millions of people who eventually did. Once you do get to talk to anyone they’re need a regular paycheck just to survive. Even beyond universally helpful, at least here in Nevada. Fortunately my worrying about the basics like food, what are these folks unemployment filing (and weekly claim) can all get done going to do when the rent or the mortgage payment comes online, which is a breeze...]] due? Landlords and banks have never been known for their In this state the liquor stores are specifically allowed to stay kind-hearted generosity. Being kicked out of your home in open; they are deemed essential businesses. So are drug addition to having no job that brings in money will be a total stores and marijuana dispensaries, and gas stations. Grocery disaster. People may wind up wishing they could get stores are open, even small convenience stores, altho almost COVID-19 just so they could have a bed in a hospital and the all of them have suddenly adopted much shorter operating two meals a day that go with it. hours. The governor mandated that all grocery stories [[Gov Sisolak has ordered a halt to evictions and should adopt special hours for seniors only, but in this area foreclosures in Nevada for the duration. Compliance isn’t only one store chain has bothered to do that. Their senior universal, I’m afraid...]] citizen hours are 5:30 AM to 7 AM Wednesday and Thursday mornings, only. Right. Like I’m going to get up at four The so-called stimulus package passed by the government thirty in the damn morning to drive to the grocery store to gives a lot of money to hard-hurt industries, (like the arrive at 5:30 while their night crew is busy restocking airlines!!), and not much money to individuals, based on shelves in hopes that I can find a few things before the their most recent tax returns. How long is that one-time regular shopping crowd comes in. grant going to last? How long is American society doing to last under these conditions? This is a dark immediate future [[Liquor stores here are shut, but we can get whatever we that I won’t want to think about. Gun stores are doing a need from the grocery store, as we typically do, so no booming business, and all those looney-tunes survivalists hardship there. I think the dispensaries remain open. We may finally have the right idea. went to the local Smiths for ‘senior hour’ (7-8am) two weeks ago, and it was a mad scrum. We’ve done better (and seen Another bizarre irony: Amazon is refusing to order or accept less empty shelves) shopping at our more usual later hour...]] any restocks on books and periodicals because they are “non-essential”. You may recall that Amazon.com began its The problem is that the “essential” businesses like the existence by being a book selling site. grocery stores and drug stores and hospitals have to be restocked on a regular basis. That means trucks carrying I am somewhat cynical about those people who keep merchandise and supplies from all over the place, supplies shouting that at least the plague is cutting down on air kept in warehouses and handled by people who may or may pollution and helping resolve the climate change index. not have been exposed to the virus already, moved by Really? People not driving as much might result in a drivers who may already be infected, then rehandled by temporarily reduction of auto exhaust fumes, but people store clerks who come in contact with those people as well as spending more time at home, running the heat or air the general public at large every day. What are the chances conditioning full blast (depending on location), running lots of catching the virus under those conditions? Excellent, I of electronic gadgets full blast just shifts the situation to a would say. different kind of energy consumption mode. It is my opinion that almost everybody in this country is It seems to me one of the best ways to help control the pollution and global warming problems would be if the going to come down with the virus sooner or later. It is inevitable. All efforts to shut down civilization and force human race would limit its spiraling birth rate, and

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unfortunately having couples/families in close proximity to conventions, I believe that quite a few will not be able to each other for long weeks at a time is just going to result in a recover, even if the world ever gets back to something sharp spike of births. This happens in other kinds of crisis resembling normalcy again. situations, such as prolonged power outages, or hurricanes, [[Several groups are doing the social gatherings online, and but this particular situation will produce a much larger of course the upcoming WorldThing CoNZealand has gone bumper crop of newborns just because this shutdown is so virtual. As social and sociable as I’ve mostly been, though, widespread and is lasting for such a long time. Time will the last five years of 60-hour weeks have kiboshed all that. tell, of course. See also next comment...]] I’m a fanzine fan. I no longer attend conventions, even very local ones, so this doesn’t bother me, but for a huge segment of fandom this has become a difficult problem to deal with. I wonder if internet chats and community tele-calls will fill in? Will anyone even bother to try alternatives? Phone calls lack the intimacy of face to face conversations with several friends over a round of brew or a quiet dinner, so yeah, I think this plague is going to seriously affect fannish reality. [[Since my own primary fanac is also fanzines, it’s possible we might see an upsurge in this little corner of the Faniverse, toward which I suppose I’m doing my bit. Videocall socializing, as nice as it is to observe that people are still alive, is even more ephemeral than FBF and all the other social media - to quote a favorite movie title, ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’. There are some people that this suits very well, and I suppose we can equate that with convos we might have at the bar or in the Fan Room which are equally ephemeral unless someone is taking notes for a conrep...]] On a slightly related topic, I read your critique and criticisms of the latest FAAn Awards. I know I’ve said this before, but the main problem here is that there are too few people voting in these awards. More publicity, or better focused publicity sure would be helpful. The other problem is that the crew of good-ole-boy regulars who vote every year tend to vote for the same people every year, whether they had viable material in a specific category or not. I cite your pointing out that Bob Lichtman’s Trap Door got votes despite not publishing an issue during 2019. Trap Door is indeed a great zine, but really, how many people that voted are really paying attention? Apparently, not enuf. But, at least the new reality provides plenty of time for fanac. [[I’m sure you’re aware that I thoroughly agree with the need I am starting to catch up on my fanzine LOC writing and my for better publicity, but having delved ridiculously deeply regular correspondence. I have the time now to do that into this year’s numbers, I’m not at all convinced of the research on those two articles I’ve been toying with for the reality of a cadre of “good-ole-boy regulars”, even though past four or five months. Count your blessings while you the perception of one has been a constant knock. Eight of can, they may be gone tomorrow. last year’s 19 voters (42%!!) didn’t submit a ballot this year Fanac for people whose fan experience revolves around (only one of those due to demise). I’ve also observed that, conventions and social occasions of all kinds are probably perhaps surprisingly, Corflu membership isn’t a predictor of going into system shock right now. So far as I know every FAAn award voting, yet you’d logically think that it ought single convention and club meeting in the hobby has been to be. 59 attending and supporting members were listed in cancelled for the next six weeks. Many cons that were the Heatwave program book, of whom a mere 11 (6 attending scheduled to take place in the mid to late summer have also and 5 supporting) submitted ballots. I’d guessed at around a been cancelled as a basic precaution. Some of these may 20% “turnout” replying to Jerry Kaufman lastish and rebound, but considering the financial realities of running wasn’t far off the actual 18.6%. This gives some credence to

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arguments that if you can’t even get the members of some of the comedy into Glam that was much needed at the fandom’s ostensible annual ‘Fanzine WorldCon’ interested, crossover period 77/78 (tail end of Glam/Punk coming more then what’s the fuckin’ point?...]] to the fore – Magazine on TOTP doing ‘Shot By Both Sides’ I look forward to seeing your handling of the upcoming was like tossing a gerbil into a blender when it came to the Awards. I thot your previous efforts in that job a few years regular TOTP wide-eyed bunnies.) ago got the word out to a lot of fans that had previously been Anyway, do you want a copy of the CD? If so, I’ll put it on a unaware (or possibly just non-committal) about the FAAns, CD in MP3 format, along with the Babysitters, the Physicals and I hope you will do another good job this round too. EP (All Sexed Up – again, signed – they were some cracking [[I’ll take that ‘boo, Bob! You can expect a similar approach gigs back then) and maybe some Heavy Metal Kids. to my last go...]] [[Well coo er gosh ta, yes mate...]] Time will tell, of course. (I tend to say that a lot these days, I’ve also picked up some ‘rare’ 1980s album downloads. As because I sure to God have no clue as to which way reality usual, it was a case of all or nothing, so I took the 638 albums will twist and turn over even the next twenty-four hours, let while the site was still there. Owner has since shut it all alone what will happen weeks into the future.) down, possibly due to the FEDs sniffing around. I suspect Another nice issue. Now that I have more time on my hands there’s the usual law of ‘90% is rubbish’ in there, but from I’ll try to do longer comments in the future. what I remember coming down the line, there were some oddities in the collection as well. ✻ ✻ ✻ Interested? I’ve some old DVD disks on the shelf that I’m not From: [email protected] likely to want for a while (or ever, since shifted over to USB April 1 sticks and SD cards.) Chuck Connor writes: [[If only I had the time. Oh, wait...]] At the tail end of TH...27 you mentioned ‘Nervous Wreck’ by Radio Stars. Was always impressed with the chorus line and ✻ ✻ ✻ the way they split up “eeee lek trow encepha la graph” (wreck – wreck) – puts a whole new touch to an From: [email protected] expression ‘Edison Medicine’. Sadly, that was used by April 1 several people who ran the Slice of Lime BBS back when it Jerry Kaufman writes: was all dial up and no Internet. Thanks for forwarding me Askew. By the time I got to use the The other song from them that I solidly remember was ‘Dirty desktop to print it out, John had sent it himself. (He also sent Pictures’ – mainly for the lines: the Corflu one-shot, for what that was worth. Two pages of Dirty pictures /They turn me on / They give me strictures / six by John himself as intro and outro.) I thought I’d learn But I gotta keep on / Taking pictures enough from the FAAn Awards details to confirm or And the finish of – I get my kicks up in the attic / With my contradict the assumptions I made in my letter to you, Kodak Instamatic. assumptions that needed fleshing out in order for them to be clear. Not sure that I really learned anything, but I’ll try later In some respects they were a band of their time – Chiswick in this letter to explain what I was thinking. label around 1977/1978. Chiswick were a sub from Charley Records, who really pissed me off with their treatment of Of the three recent deaths you write about, I think I knew Nina Simone & her back catalogue. I think I still have the only Steve Stiles well. I don’t recall ever meeting Earl Kemp, Motorhead white vinyl album that was on Chiswick – which even though we we both at the Winchester Corflu and may help to show how wide their recording artists spanned. possibly others. I knew Frank Lunney, but don’t recall ever having conversations longer than a sentence or two with A root around the collection turned up a CD – Somewhere him. I’m not a smoker, so didn't spend much time in There’s A Place For Us. On Chiswick. Standard for the time – smoking consuites, and haven’t toked in decades, so never most tracks are around the 2 – 3 minute length. They were a got sercon in Ted’s room. But Steve and I lived in New York band of absurdities in many respects – (I Got Them Old) Sex in the 1970s and saw each other at Fanoclast meetings in Chains Blues (Part 1) – and Arthur Is Dead Boring (Let’s frequently. All three leave holes in our community, but for Rot). me Steve leaves the biggest. [[Not to mention ‘(There Are) No Russians in Russia’...]] Relevant to ‘Burn It Down’, last night Ulrika hosted a test They also had a musical resemblance to The Babysitters “gathering” of Seattle fans on Zoom, in preparation for (signed vinyl in the collection) who, along with The holding our monthly Vanguard party on line this coming Physicals, Random Pus Merchants, and various others, put Saturday. We have Zoom on our desktop computer in Suzle’s

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basement office, but with no camera. So we were represented prejudice that being active in the N3F was like riding a bike by a black square with “Suzanne Tompkins” in a san serif with training wheels). I joined again after writing that letter typeface while others appeared with bad lighting, shaky to you, but as a nonvoting member. Since then I have been handheld phone image, preset backgrounds, etc. Just before drowned in N3F publications, but haven’t had the time or starting this letter, I downloaded Zoom onto my camera- energy to look at most of them. I’ll have to say I probably enabled laptop, so come Saturday I’ll be sitting at the kitchen won’t read the reviewzine, as I’m not interested in the books table, just like now, and Vanguardians will be able to see my being reviewed. (I read very few of the reviews in Locus for (decrepit) mug while Suzle remains a mystery on-screen. the same reason.) [[It would naturally be quite wicked of me to suggest that Let me signal my virtue in response to Mark Plummer’s the “bad lighting, shaky [...] image, preset backgrounds etc.” ideal fan fund candidate. When I stood for the Down Under could be an improvement...]] Fan Fund in 1983, it was because Irwin Hirsh and Andrew Corflux (2): We’re in hopes of attending the Bristol Corflu, Brown contacted me and urged me to stand. I also made a assuming that everyone can once again travel and gather in distinction: I didn’t run for DUFF, I stood for it. Passive- large groups, or at least largish. As for a Corflu in the Seattle aggressive me. I was told at some later date that some people area, I object to calling Vancouver, BC, “the Seattle area”, but in Australia did not like one of the other candidates and that’s a semantic quibble. Vancouver would be a very nice actively campaigned against them. I believe I won by city to have a small convention in, and it’s been too long default. since the last time Suzle and I were there. The Renton Red Claire Brialey writes about the Best (Overall) Fanzine Lion isn’t in a choice location, but it would work. category. I think a different way of determining the winner, Manu Dibango is the third or fourth musician of note to rather than voting directly for it, might have been a variation contract Covid-19, but the others (names not immediately of how the Number 1 Fan Face is often decided - just adding springing to mind) made the news because they didn’t up the votes for each zine in each category, then adding recover. My interest in sub-Saharan music is fairly limited, together the votes for each zine from each category it was and I haven’t listened to any for years. When I did listen, it included in. Perhaps for zines primarily written by one was mainly to Malathini and the Mahotella Queens; I have person, we could also add Fanwriter votes, and maybe even several tapes featuring them, and got to see them live in ‘Best Cover’ votes. Needs work, I know. Seattle at a Bumbershoot Festival. I've just started his [[That’s an insanely terrible idea, even though it likely channel on Spotify, and ‘Soul Makossa’ sure sounds familiar. would have given ‘Thy Life’s A Miracle’ a well-deserved Best I think your look at the FAAn Award ballots and votes has Fanzine win. The immediate and obvious problem with such some merit regarding zines that could fit into more than one an overly complicated method is that, given the typically category, and that John Purcell could have exercised more much lower numbers of ‘Special Publications’ in any given executive privilege in assigning votes for those ambiguous year they’d have an inbuilt advantage. I’m still working out nominees. Journey Planet - is it a fanzine or on-line activity? It policy with the Doc for next year’s awards, but I’d venture got one vote for Best (Overall) Fanzine and one vote for Best to say that you can expect less and better-defined Online Activity. I guess it’s both, as it’s formatted in a way categories...]] easy to print, but usually distributed only online. Now to my letter and your comments. First, [re:TAFF] “not [[By that logic any fanzine that doesn’t have a print edition only comments are moot, so is the result”. By the first part of (like this one) could be considered as “online activity”, the sentence and the very first sentence in the paragraph, I which is of course utter bollocks...]] meant that I thought it was pointless to comment on whether the race was proper in the way it was run. For the second I normally barely skim your pieces on ‘Footy’, whether by clause, I know Mike may be able to take his trip in you or by Dave Hodson. This time, though, I saw that Dave November for Novacon, or next year to Eastercon (and was writing about an experience he had while being a Corflu before it) or some other European convention. So let student archaeologist, and read his anecdote with me change the clause to “so is the result - for now”. amusement and pleasure. [[No again I’m afraid Killer. The result stands. Suggesting On to the letters, where Heath Row wonders if I joined the otherwise is quite wrong...]] N3F. I’ve joined twice, once in 1966. I belonged for a few years, borrowing books from the lending library, My paragraph that led to your eye-roll (maybe just your first corresponding with people who sent me Welcome letters eye-roll): I was talking about Andy Hooper’s dream of (Larry Smith of Columbus, Ohio, and Chris Couch of a holding a fanzine-oriented convention (I wasn’t sure at the small town near St. Louis, Missouri), and writing round time if he'd want it to be a Corflu, or a Ditto, or give it robin letters. I dropped out when I felt it wasn't giving me another name, but after Ulrika’s announcement of intent, I’m anything new (and because I absorbed the general fannish sure Andy doesn’t want to do another Corflu). I believe he wants to do something different, and has some ideas about

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attracting not only the usual suspects but also people outside influence. You'll remember all my mathematical analysis. An the current fanzine community. My last sentence, with unspoken assumption on my part was that the nine or ten “market” in quotes, was an attempt to float what I think voters who gave first place votes to John Thiel or N3F Andy's intention is, along with my own misgivings about the fanzines did not vote for anything or anyone else in the possible result. second or third places. I can’t examine their ballots to prove [[Although I can certainly be as guilty of it as the next fan, I or disprove this, so I wasn’t being fair. But I never said they tend to be leery of conjecture about intent and motivations. didn’t deserve to be included. It’ll be Andy who speaks for himself concerning this possible [[That wasn’t the impression I got from your remarks (as project, as he undoubtedly will when he’s ready...]] you know) so this clarification is most useful, thanks. So the cross-over event was ‘Crisis on Infinite Worlds’. So it However, your argument about awarding points by ranking should have taken the Anti-Monitor an infinite amount of does work both ways. While it may be the case that voters time to wipe out infinite worlds. And your cop-out could be from the N3F group favored their zines (and why wouldn’t right, that each Earth-universe could have its laws of they?) it’s also demonstrably true that other subgroups will physics, though in the few Earths we are shown, physics choose other titles, as did you. You’re also aware, though (or seem to be the same. But I realize that if I’m going to watch should be by now) that I do now generally prefer your superhero television or movies (or read superhero comics, suggestion of one vote per mention (which I recommended to something I don’t do now but could in future), I’m already John Purcell that he should adopt)...]] accepting characters with abilities that defy physics, and that I think I’ve gone on long enough, don't you? Maybe I mix scientific explanations with supernatural ones. clarified some things from my letter, or maybe I just Regarding my statement, “With so few voters and so few rationalized and deflected. titles read...”, you are right that there are more than a small [[I highly encourage ongoing discussion of this kind, which number of fanzines being posted on eFanzines, with a few is, in this third incarnation, a significant part of what I more titles not included there. But I was making a (huge and believe This Here... is for. Magister Burns nodded unverified) assumption, in the previous paragraph, that most approvingly (WAHFs, This Here... #25) about the of the voters were reading the same subset of zines as I do. discussions herein on TAFF and the FAAns, observing that That's where the “so few titles” jab comes from. Maybe I’d they were conducted “without rancor”. (Or at least they vote for some zines other than the ones I read now - if I took were until Askew #29.) I’d like to think that some of us at the time to read them! But I used the excuse last year that I least can change our opinions based on new facts or a didn’t everything available, and people said I should just persuasive argument, and that’s achieved by interchange vote for what I knew and like. (People being, if memory such as this...]] serves, you and Claire.) So I said I’ll vote this year, no matter, ✻ ✻ ✻ and I did so. My ballot certainly looks like the results. Do the results confirm my assumption? I From: don’t know. mark.fi[email protected] [[See Bob Jennings’ loc also. You’re April 3 correct that I’m totally in favor of Mark Plummer writes: voting for what you know and I thought of you the other day like. What other basis could there when I saw a report that an annual even be? Bob’s “good-ole-boy” summit of Cockneys has decided argument has at least some legs that ‘Miley Cyrus’ is official and that’s brought into sharper rhyming slang for coronavirus. I focus with such a small number of liked that Don D’Ammassa voters...]] comment about Florida, and have My personal complaint about the been thinking about how best to Toronto results was not about the repurpose it for the UK. Frinton? quality of the N3F zines, because I [[I saw that about ‘Miley Cyrus’ wasn’t reading them. (I have a and immediately expressed bunch now saved, and a bunch extreme doubt about any such more I haven’t downloaded.) It thing as a “Cockney annual was about how assigning points to summit”. Rhyming slang has votes according to their order on always evolved organically, not by the voter’s ballot gave a small some fuckin’ decree. Guaranteed to number of voters an outsized take the roof off my boat, that...]]

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I’m not sure what to say about your FAAn Award That was nearly forty years ago, and many things are commentary. There never seems to be a good starting point different now, but I get the impression it resonated with to talk about the awards for which you’re a contender: if many fan writers and publishers back in the day and I would you’re a winner it seems ungrateful and if you’re not it like to think that Malcolm’s last point remains true. And if it seems like sour grapes. And I really don’t want to have a go does, doesn’t it follow that if we're talking about a process at John Purcell over this, as I think he rightly prioritised the that purports to acknowledge the best then we should all convention itself and if there’s a message it is probably don’t participate as best we can? try to run Corflu and the FAAn Awards at the same time but That goes for voters as well as administrators. As currently rather find somebody else to take on the latter. In 1998 at the structured, I read the fanzine categories as four subcategories Eastercon we deliberately repurposed the traditional end-of- and one overall, a kind of best in show. As any fanzine falls convention feedback session to discourage gripes about the into one -- or, depending on viewpoint (and this is part of the convention that was now nearly concluded given nobody problem), more than one -- subcategories, I’m not quite sure could do anything about the problem now, and rather why anybody would vote for a given title in ‘best fanzine’ encouraged participants to phrase their comments in such a and yet not also vote for it in one of the other four categories. way as to inform next year’s Eastercon. And yet people demonstrably did. [[No doubt it’s nominally a tricky proposition to comment Banana Wings got 12 votes in ‘best genzine’ (thanks you, 12 on the FAAns when, as you say, you’re potentially up for the people!) but 13 in ‘best fanzine’ implying at least one person cup. What I deliberately tried to do was concentrate on considered it to be one of the top four fanzines in the year analysis of the numbers rather than critiquing the but not one of the top four genzines. Ours isn’t the only title management, although the latter was a bit inevitable from to which that applies. the results of the former. I also took pains to point out that John’s attention would correctly have been on the event Voters will almost inevitably vote for ineligible things and I itself. Whether he was unable or unwilling to delegate the think it’s not unreasonable for an administrator to revert to awards gig doesn’t even matter at this point, but it’s those voters and invite them to change their otherwise definitely what some would call a “teachable moment”...]] wasted votes. But I don’t think it should be a requirement that they do so, even with a small pool of voters such that it’s What follows is in that spirit. hardly onerous. We’re dealing with grownups, and the I could paraphrase the famous critic’s definition of a novel to administrator isn’t duty-bound to try to tidy up their say that any awards process is a mechanism to acknowledge mistakes. Moving votes between categories also isn’t and/or reward the best examples of a particular endeavour unreasonable, although it should really only be done if the and which also has something wrong with it. And I fear that person hasn’t used all their nomination slots in the category for some -- and I'm not saying this is the case here -- to which their vote is moved (I know you suggest you mapping the full extent of that wrongness is the point of the purposely left a blank to allow that). Then again, the exercise. Results are announced and the hordes gleefully administrator could leave it as it is. But I think it’s as well to descend to identify the mistakes and flawed decisions, be consistent, and what to do if there is no consensus? I perhaps because they believe that it demonstrates the suspect that fewer categories would be a partial answer here, superiority of their jiant branes or something. especially if we lose the whatchamacallit category. I am also conscious of the “bit of fun” mantra that usually [[I don’t agree with your second sentence there. I consider accompanies awards like this, that we shouldn’t take them that it is part of the admin’s job to ensure consistency and too seriously. And I try not to, although that’s perhaps the accuracy in the voting, and to this end I queried some ballot privilege that comes from having won a few. The first time I entries during my previous tenure. Some (most of the few I won something in fandom there were people who were asked about, I think) were resubmitted, and only three quick to point out, “You do know that probably only three individual votes ended up being rejected. (See also comments men and a dog voted for you and it was the dog wot won on Leigh Edmonds’ loc.) I do agree that a plethora (and how it?'” But I think also of that editorial from Tappen #1: many is that, exactly?) of categories create opportunities for “I believe that fanzines are a unique and very special confusion unless they’re very well defined, hence, I think, the form of communication in the form to which they have Lofgeornost problem: is it an apazine or a perzine? It is evolved in sf fandom. We are lucky to have them, and actually both, of course, as are titles such as Captain they deserve respect. I'm opposed to the view that it's Flashback and Rat Sass which are also distributed outside OK to print any old rubbish because, what the hell, it’s their originating apa. I would argue that once an apazine just a fanzine. On the contrary, I think that fanwriting is meets my somewhat nebulous “generally available” one of the few forms of writing which are pointless threshold it becomes a de facto perzine for the purposes of unless you’re doing your very best.” FAAn award categorisation...]]

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I do though think administrators should disambiguate. If I writing the GUFF race is still on, although now there will be happen to put ‘Science Fiction Commentary’ on a ballot it’s no convention to attend even if a trip is possible, and that’s ridiculous to claim that this is somehow different from ‘SF by no means certain. I assume the actual trip will be Commentary’. The split between ‘TAFF eBooks’ and ‘Ansible deferred. Deadline is 13 April so a further plug for Alison Free Books’ makes no sense to me as they’re clearly the same Scott is superfluous for everybody but you. thing, and as you say it looks like there has already been Oh, and thanks for the Manu Dibango recommendation. some disambiguation, possibly even erroneously so. I don’t Listening to some now. Good stuff. understand John’s contention in Askew that it’s how you get there that matters. That would suggest we should split votes for, say, This Here… according to whether people receive it by ✻ ✻ ✻ direct email or via efanzines. A further complication comes From: [email protected] from the two votes for ‘Rob Hansen's Free Stuff’. They could be votes for Rob’s website, ‘Rob Hansen’s Fan Stuff’ in which April 5 case they should be amalgamated with the single vote for David Redd writes: fiawol.org which should be fiawol.org.uk I think and which Thanks for No. 27, a bumper bundle as we used to say. If is its URL, but they could conceivably be votes for the free you want thoughts set down as they happen, this is what ebooks Rob has produced in which case they’re subsets of you get: ‘TAFF ebooks’. On-line sales platforms still doing home deliveries have [[Yes. Even though it was something I did, changing the ‘Best developed anti-crashing measures – get in a queue to access Website’ category definition to the much vaguer ‘Online the site, then 10 minutes to browse and checkout. Activity’ this shows how unclear that can be and what Supermarkets started letting in people in batches for a once- problems it can cause. It makes no sense at all that a link on through tour along the aisles 3 metres apart starting at the a website would be recorded as a separate vote to the place back and ending at the tills. Boom in bread-making means it’s actually linking to. If this category continues (which it flour now as scarce as toilet-rolls. Ominous warnings about probably will, I’m afraid) then voters should be asked to businesses getting wiped out, restrictions going on for provide the specific URL of what they’re voting for, which months, possible power cuts, slashing postal deliveries, etc. doesn’t necessarily have to be quoted in the results...]] (Some organisations e.g. pension providers telling us don't There's plenty of other good stuff in this This Here… You ask post queries - ring or email only.) In all this I feel guilty us about Anzapa and yes, I confirm that it’s uncommonly about having only minor inconveniences while others e.g. in healthy by the standards of APAs two decades into the India are suffering desperately in lockdown crisis. twenty-first century. No wait list, but the roster is pretty full For some people even staying home isn’t that safe: I and as well as the likes of Bruce Gillespie and Kim Huett it understand domestic abuse rose also immediately with includes Australian fans not much in evidence in other isolation. My son-in-law the postman has received verbal fanzines including David Grigg, Jack Herman, Gary Mason abuse for simple distancing measures during deliveries. and Sally Yeoland. Right now, the membership is wrestling (Makes my blood pressure rise, sorry. Can’t help thinking with the problems of our current global situation and that some members of the human race are human in name distributions are going to be electronic for a while. The intent only, such as internet trolls; while the best give of their best, is to revert to paper when circumstances allow, but who the worst give of their worst. Social media haven’t been knows, maybe we’ll all get a taste for the digital version. teaching stress control?) On TAFF and fan funds generally, I don’t disagree with the [[I’ve seen more than a few mentions of the “stupidity encouragement aspect, and indeed the letter from the front pandemic” which clearly exists alongside the other one. of the house neatly makes the point about Alison and GUFF France, at least, has in place a domestic violence codeword that I failed to make, that “she can be expected to continue as which victims can use at pharmacies to alert the authorities an active contributor to fandom”. And I don’t hold with the to a problem. We’re still able to go out to the shops (which idea of fan-fund-trip-as-reward. Rather I think the we did again yesterday), including across town to the candidate’s track record is about demonstrating their status International Market - that inevitably results in coming as a “well-known and active fan”, showing potential voters home with several things labelled “Cadbury’s”, but I also that this is somebody fans at the destination may want to got the makings of what’ll be as close to a proper British meet. sausage casserole as I can manage which will end up as a It can also help demonstrate administrative potential, and midweek dinner since it’s due to get a bit nippy. Hitting the while that’s not the top consideration I think it is reassuring ‘regular’ grocery store on the way back, about the only to know that that a candidate is somebody who looks likely things that are now absent or short on the shelves appear to to help maintain the fund in the future. At the time of be bogroll and eggs...]]

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Back to facts. Our TV sports slots now feature “classic” ideological cruelty that the Republican party over here has matches, i.e. repeats. (This Saturday we saw the 1991 Wales perfected, no doubt with admiration for the example of the v. Germany, 1-0.) Football club staff on furlough while Snatcher...]] footballer salaries under threat, shock horror. You notice in So should I be singing the Internationale along with you all, this crisis that the most vital people keeping the country as suggested? Personally, I resist that direction. In fact, as going are those society pays the least. However, also notice you, Nic, seem to favour capturing the thoughts of the day, I that some footballers are quietly shunting money to charities. can share the uncomfortable mental gymnastics or Radio travel news used to be catalogues of queues, road doublethink going on in my head. You gather that I’m a works and accidents, but now contain solely “Essential travel card-carrying member of a nationalist political organisation only”. My, this main road behind is us quiet these days. (Plaid Cymru). This is in the country of MPs like David I’m not saying much about the medical situation because Lloyd George, Keir Hardie and Aneurin Bevan who that changes too quickly. The testing and, hmm, movement pioneered 100% socialist initiatives such as old age pensions surveillance measures are evolving daily. Currently, early and our free-to-use National Health Service. Well, am I April, there’s much talk of protective equipment, testing extreme right or extreme left? Not for the first time I’ve facilities, race for a vaccine and so on, but deaths are still followed a trend so far to the edge that I’ve come out the going up. And hard choices being made. A lot of good other side. Maybe I should have discussed politics (rather people are giving their all; makes me think of Chernobyl. than his bookshop) with old Albert Meltzer when I had the chance, or perhaps staying out of anarchy was safer. Lockdown is tough on many, but the alternative is keeping the country open for business and having lots of people die. [[It’s unfortunate, and really ought to be inaccurate that It’s even tougher for those hit by our February floods (or hit “nationalism” is equated with right-wing ideology...]] by forest fires abroad, I know) who are still refugees on Re socialism USA etc, despite McCarthyism I’d never friends’ settees unable to repair or rebuild. 2020 has been understood why supporters of workers rights etc should one thing after another, from Brexit uncertainty (remember favour even for one second the inhuman Stalinist USSR. that?) to pandemic and recession. The Thatcherite economic Basically I have a deep distrust of both robber-baron goal of endless growth by attracting money from rich people consumerists (unrestrained capitalism) and ruthless elsewhere looks even dodgier now. dictatorships (“communism”), and am aware that even supposedly idealistic beginnings soon devolve into the old killing-adultery-stealing (e.g. ISIS or earlier the Belgian Congo). As with the Soviets, no human organisation is immune to mission creep. [[I nod with approval at the placement of “communism” in quotes, because Stalin’s reign was a statist dictatorship, no question, and Putin seems much of the same cut of cloth. Other than perhaps very early Leninist/ Trotskyist Russia actual communism has never really been tried, and classical Marxism is impractical in the modern age, although with the impending complete collapse of “civilisation”, who knows? Castro’s Cuba may have been closer to the ideal. I’m occasionally, perhaps even often reminded of Blish’s contention in the ‘Cities in Flight’ series that the east and west blocs ended up resembling each other closely...]] This meditation is what happens when isolated with too many thoughts buzzing around your [[There’s no doubt that the Thatcher regime made my head. I used to be able to offload such ideas into writing decision whether to abandon the UK an easier one, as fiction, before the talent faded. But there we are. Currently I wrenching as it was in many ways. That was a foundation feel that Adam Smith’s sunny view of capitalism was of the development of ultra-capitalism in the UK and misplaced, now that Covid-19 teaches us that a consumer undoubtedly displayed the kind of institutional and society shaved to the bone for profit lacks the resilience to

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withstand any upset. We have a species capacity for Regarding football, my wife supports Liverpool while I suspending mature judgment at the wrong moments, as follow West Ham (although I prefer cricket really). As West your egotorial confesses. My own mistakes and lesser Ham are offering little challenge to the likes of Liverpool “teapot in fridge” moments, far too many in my own life, these days there is little family rivalry going on. lead me to suspect that our glorious leaders also have too I’m biased on the Bristol Corflu in 2021 as it means I actually many such moments. (Let’s do a referendum on leaving get to go to one, which would be unlikely otherwise. I follow Europe, or, let’s shelve that pandemic response rehearsal...) the discussions for future options with interest and hope We’re sleepwalking through politics, global warming, plastic plans are made which work to everyone’s advantage and pollution, species extinction and the rest, not noticing that preferences. the virus of homo sapiens has eaten so much of the world that the main food source for other viruses is now us. You see Congratulations to all the FAAn winners. Must remember to why kids blame us and join Extinction Rebellion. vote next year. Oops! I wouldn’t have remembered your title “Jumping the [[I’ll undoubtedly make sure you get a voting reminder...]] Whatsit” without your reminder, but it certainly taught me ✻ ✻ ✻ the memorable phrase “rational actors” to use alongside From: 236 S. Coronado St., #409, Los Angeles CA 90057 “externalities” and other scary concepts. Unlike you I have no knowledge of economics as a April 8 science. I did study “Managing Land John Hertz writes: for Nature Conservation” to about 2/3 Delighted to see you’ll administer the of degree level, which taught me how [FAAn] Awards for 2021. For Corflu poor we are en masse at conserving XXXV your Incompleat Register in its anything, ourselves included. I don’t various approaches to completeness know the answer. was swell; delighted to see you’ll do To the FAANs – yes, pleasing number IR too. of Approved Names winning, so Ulrika O’Brien mentions Prolog(ue). reining in the process clearly worked Much as I favor spelling “catalogue” well, thank you all. You note the odd and like that, in my mind the (“ue”) glitch but from this distance looks a stood for “Ulrika is Excellent”. Oops, good job well done. there I go commenting about BEAM Should have commented on much again... more in the jam-packed This Here.... 27, But you do have a lot of her fanart in but have exhausted myself. Spots This Here... #27. Hurrah! More fanart before the eyes developing, even in fanzines! though I’ve been composing this in short takes over several days. It all [[Indeed, lastish’s loccol fillos were all blurs when reading back; can’t keep Ulrika’s art, and the first thing Guy writing as long and as interestingly as Lillian noticed with effusive approval Claire Brialey, even though spurred (see WAHF)...]] to try. I always thought the great criterion for a fan-fund delegate Still got BEAM to look forward to! Working on a longer was “someone the folk at the destination would like to timescale there... meet”. To me, this rests on the fanac we do other than in person. Meseems (as that proto-fan Sam Johnson said, Stay safe. “meseems” i.e. “it seems to me” is more reasonable than ✻ ✻ ✻ “methinks”) it’s neither a reward nor an encouragement, though it may partake of each. From: [email protected] [[Excellent point there, John, which led me to mentally April 5 review at least some of my own past arguments which might Ian Millsted writes: imply that the ‘reward vs encouragement’ debate is zero- [T]hanks for [This Here... #26] and the subsequent issue. sum. As you correctly note, it isn’t at all. I’ll observe, I’ll avoid mention of life under virus as we’re probably all in however, that quite often those folk at the destination have similar positions there. to be persuaded that a delegate is someone they’d like to meet, don’t they?...]]

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Fanziners learned long ago it’s cheaper to send your fanzine [[I could well be misremembering (as usual), but I vaguely around than to send your body around.After those days recall Claire mentioning some time ago that Kim and I bore came Marshall McLuhan, who pointed out that each a remarkable resemblance to each other...]] communications medium has qualities of its own. I could not help but notice that your fnz is moving towards No medium actually replaces or supersedes any other. To a the category of the mid-sized fanzine with 26 pages this new arrival is shifted the burden of being the latest thing, the issue. I put this down to you, and many of your readers, cutting edge; the previous latest thing, relieved of that having spare time on their hands. I also notice that the pressure, is freed to reach its own niche. McLuhan actually inhabitants of Fishlifter Central have contributed almost talked of obsolescence, as Paul Skelton quoted in Raucous eight of those pages, which needs some explanation. No Caucus 7. McLuhan liked strong language. conventions to organize, eh? McLuhan said an “obsolete” medium becomes an artform, [[Conrunning isn’t something that them Fishlifters ever but that’s incompleat. It should have been an artform all relished, particularly, but quite often got dragged into. But along. It was, in some folks’ hands. “I’m too busy to do art” yeah, you weren’t the only one who noted the substantial or “I’m too practical” or “I’m too much of a reverse snob, loccol Croydonness that’s inevitably so interesting that you you feckless upper-class idiot” call, meseems, for further don’t cut it down much. Lastish also had columns on TAFF thought - as, on the other side, does “What you’re doing and Corflu and the FAAn awards as well as ‘Radio can’t be art, you feckless lower-class idiot”. They’re neither Winston’, ‘Footy’ and a bit of plague diary. Not so much on complete nor conclusive. the fannish topics here, but still plenty of loccol...]] [[The concept of fanzines as “artform” does seem a bit over- It is impossible to write almost anything these days without the-top, but I suppose they could be seen as such in a (very) mentioning the Plague. Valma and I are tucked away here broad definition. ..]] more or less safely in Stalag Hemsley and rarely emerge. ✻ ✻ ✻ When I go out for provisions it’s like a scene from Day of the Triffids down to the empty supermarket shelves, and that’s a From: [email protected] bit of what it feels like too. After a month of this isolation in April 13 which life plods on rather quietly and pleasantly for us it is sometimes difficult to remember that there is something out Leigh Edmonds writes: there that wants to kill us. Thankfully this virus isn’t like I was a bit appalled to find This Here ... 27 in my in-box triffids which would pile up against the front door trying to because it meant that it had been a month, more or less, since get in at us. Of course, there’s always been many ways to die the previous issue had arrived and I hadn’t looked at any of lying in wait just outside our front door (car accidents, etc) the other fine fannish fnz that had arrived around the time but they have been distant possibilities rather than that your issue 26 arrived. I’m sure I must have been busy probabilities. So far there have been only ten reported cases doing stuff but I’m sure I don’t know what. To answer the of the Plague here in Ballarat which means there might be a question that Claire Brialey asks later in this issue about hundred or a thousand people out there who are potential where I’m reading fnz since I’m not reading them on the carriers, but I reckon the changes are fairly good that nothing train on trips down to Melbourne. The simple answer is, will go wrong for us so long as we can maintain our sitting here in my accustomed chair, but it is not a very splendid isolation here for the rest of the year. I can think of satisfactory arrangement. A trip down to Melbourne is an all worse things to do with my time. day affair starting around six or seven in the morning and [[Naturally glad to hear you’re OK. Ten cases out of a ending at about five or six in the evening. There is usually a population of, what, about 100,000 doesn’t seem a lot. I few hours work in the middle but the rest involves sitting don’t know what level of testing is going on, but the USA is around waiting for public transport or being transported by definitely underreporting. You would think that most people it. I liken it to a tax deductible day out at the beach, but since who have daily contact with the public would be able to get I am no great fan of the seaside this is as relaxing as my days checked out, but that’s not been the case, despite promises of are going to get. I also feel a bit guilty sitting here reading “testing for all”. I’ve seen reports that you can get a test, and fnz rather than getting on with work because when I’m that’ll be $300, please...]] traveling I can’t take my work with me so reading fnz and looking at the passing scenery is a good way to spend a The last time I went out, a week ago, I was pleased and a relaxing day. So I’d appreciate it if nobody tells Kim Huett little proud that we Australians could get ourselves so that I’ve been reading the latest issue of This Here ... rather organized to cope with the Plague so quickly. At the doctor than getting on with the listing of Australian fnz 1939-1975 shop there were suitably garbed and masked nurses we’re supposed to be working on. screening people, at the chemist shop there was a similar arrangement and the supermarket there were signs, security people and big markers on the floor showing were one was

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to stand to maintain ‘social distance’. For Australians, humid, but you have no idea about what humidity is until getting all this organized in about a month was very good you find yourself in northern Australia. I can assure you that going, I thought. A friend, from Singapore, thinks it’s all a I would sooner go to a convention in Vancouver or Bristol shambles, but he hasn’t got into the local culture yet. than in Airlie Beach. Talking of which, the absence of sport to fill the air waves on [[Hopefully the last word on the 2020 FAAns: the winners weekends is a novelty here. In particular, no footy, which I and almost-winners in the fanzine and online categories am not complaining about because in the one round that was were in no sense unworthy of the honor, and if the played before everything was called off the Melbourne categorization and calendar year eligibility had been both Football Club was humiliated yet again. On the other hand, correctly and consistently applied, the possibly different set the ABC has filled a couple of hours of dead air usually filled of awardees would also have met with general nods of by footy commentary with the very welcome return of H G approval...]] Nelson and ‘Rampaging’ Roy Slaven with ‘Bludging on the [[As to your other remarks, this perhaps ought to have been Blindside’. They used to occupy a large chunk of time on incorporated in the FAAn awards column but then would Sunday’s on the ABC’s JJJ a couple of decades ago but have distracted from decisions which have already been gradually drifted out of popularity after being a national made going forward, so I’ll answer them here instead, icon for years. probably at inordinate length. I’m still not overly fond of On your back page you comment that there are more using the term “eligible” since it gives the likes of Andy legitimate concerns than TAFF, the FAAns and etc, but the Hooper license to snark endlessly about me “telling people real life media is full of that kind of stuff so who wants to who they can vote for” and “rejecting votes”. To assess how talk about it. Rather, let’s define TAFF and FAAN Awards as massively important these very Republican claims of voter/ important to us and get on with it. Before that, I have to administrator fraud actually are, let’s estimate that the mention that the only part of Radio Winston I noted this time voters in 2018 completed half their ballot on average. 78 was the hypertext link which took me through to ‘Anty’. ballots x 8 categories x 3 slots x 1/2 = 936 individual votes, Very nice I thought, almost what you would call ‘easy of which 3 were rejected (0.3%). Psephologically, this is listening’. I read on while listening to that and You Tube technically termed “fuck all”. Even though it means the then put on some more of his music including some live same fuckin’ thing, let’s use the word “qualifying” instead, performances. He got some very serious grooves going on meaning, as before, work first published in the previous some of the numbers that I did like. So, I consider myself calendar year. Moving on. The concept of having a shortlist informed but not really converted. of nominees was tried most recently for the 2016 awards (I I have to hand it to Askew 29 with the voting set out in detail think) by Murray Moore and met with fairly universal for us. Well, I know that you have to have something to fill derision. One fundamental problem I have with such a the pages of your fnz about but I for one thought the system is that it’s typically difficult enough to get people to outcome was pretty good. Most of the people and things I vote for the awards at all, let alone twice. There’s also time voted for came at or close to the top so I’m not likely to constraints involved because the voting window might be as complain, am I? It seems to me that a lot of your griping little as two months, which isn’t enough time to organize comes from the fact that eligibility for categories was not and distribute both a nominating ballot and a final ballot, clearly defined in the minds of most of the voters - I know although the counter-argument could be that it might that it wasn’t in mine - but it is too late to complain after the concentrate the minds of voters on the process. What’s horse has bolted. The year that you published your list of known in Australia as “preferential voting” is, properly eligible fnz and fans you helped define the categories people “instant-runoff voting”, which is a nitpicky observation I should vote in by where you placed them on your lists but, suppose, but the point is that voters are required to rank without that kind of guidance, people are left to their own their preferences. It’s often been the case that FAAn awards devices. The obvious solution to this problem is to have a have been based on voter ranking, as was the case on my two stage voting process in which some secret master uses a last go where the 1-2-3 choices were awarded 5-3-1 “points” nominating process and compiles a short list with eligible respectively. Thanks in no small part to persuasive argument candidates in their right categories before the voting takes and analysis from Jerry Kaufman the consensus now is place. I would also recommend, again, a preferential voting moving away from this to a flat recording of votes, as system, but I can only imagine such a voting system being occurred this year. Claire Brialey has noted that it’s easier used if Corflu ever came to Australia. Talking on this, I was (and faster) to complete a ballot when you don’t have to astounded to read in this issue the mere hint of a suggestion think about ranking your choices, and this is also likely to that a Corflu be held at Airlie Beach. No doubt Eric increase participation by the removal of that requirement...]] Lindsay’s doing. Good ghod man! I hear that Texas is

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Lloyd Penney’s comments about what we can talk about in another purpose. All we need now is for the SMOFs to tell this post-Brexit world told me that those living in the us what it is. Western part of Canada feel the same way about their Claire Brialey’s letter was long and entertaining. The eastern states as Western Australians do and that it is current social circumstances forced on us by the Plague something that comes up every generation in both countries. seems to have encouraged a lot of people to look for ways to It got so serious in Western Australia in the 1930s that they help other less fortunate than themselves but, so far as I’m passed a referendum to leave the Commonwealth but when concerned, Claire serves the world better by sitting and the delegation from the west turned up in London to get the banging away at her keyboard than by running around job done the authorities there looked at the Australian helping the infirm and elderly. Speaking as one of the latter, constitution and found that nobody had thought to put an and I have an old age pensioner card to prove it, I know I’d escape clause there, so there was no way out. This, of course, rather have Claire writing stuff like this than dropping in doesn’t stop the matter coming up again any time that West with a packet of toilet paper. (Not that I wouldn’t mind her Australians think they are being dudded by the eastern dropping in under normal circumstances, you understand, states. Then I read David Redd’s comment about ‘SW but for much more sociable reasons.) Wales’ and it hit me with the blinding realization that if there is a state in Australia called New South Wales there is, in all As a relative neo this time around and a reader of Mark and probability’ an original ‘South Wales’. Would you believe Claire’s writing for only the past couple of years I reckon that that had never occurred to me before now. This, by that they are so similar in their quality of writing that it implication, suggest that there is probably a place called would be hard to separate them in the quality stakes. I see ‘York’ as well. that Mark only beat Claire by a short half head in the popularity stakes this year, so others clearly agree with me. To me the difference between them is that when I read Mark I feel as though we are chatting in the library and when I’m reading Claire I feel as though we are chatting around the kitchen table. Conversations in these different places take on different qualities, they are different but one is not superior to the other and, personally speaking, some of the best conversations I’ve had have been around kitchen tables. Look, there is perhaps a gendered thing going on here which reminds me of the most recent issue of Bruce Gillespie’s SF Commentary in which Russell Blackford puts on a dazzling display in his article/talk about the nature of stf which runs on for several highly polished and intellectually stunning pages and then Jenny Blackford follows it with a poem of great insight and clarity of only half a page. Both pieces of writing are of high quality, but they feel different and leave me (and other readers I hope) with great respect for both writers. [[I usually default to any reading of Mark or Claire to be a conversation up the pub...]] [[Indeed, and residents of Ontario will undoubtedly be surprised to learn that they’ve been transplanted to I always hope to knock off a short letter of comment but “Western Canada”...]] somehow I rarely manage it. And so it is again, I’m afraid. In closing, I was struck by Paul Skelton, in the WAHF list, I’m in the same boat as Mark Plummer (which sounds saying that he had not felt he had “anything interesting to appropriate for a Fishlifter) when it comes to fan funds like add to the mix”. And here I was thinking that he was a TAFF. When Valma and I went to the United States in 1974 hardened letter hack who had studied under the great Harry for DUFF it was to meet in person friends that we’d made Warner Jnr. What I learned from all the letters Harry sent me over the previous years that we would otherwise not have was that you didn’t have to have anything to add, you met. The same for the first few American DUFFers who grabbed a phrase or two and then improvised around them came to Australia. The ready availability of cheap until you had filled up a couple of pages. intercontinental air travel has changed that reason but the ✻ ✻ ✻ survival of the fan funds suggests that they now serve

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From: [email protected] April 18 INDULGE ME Lloyd Penney writes: ✔ TV GUIDE : We’re agog for the finale of ‘DEVS’ [...] which we’ll probably have seen by the time this goes out. We’re losing too many friends. I’ve lost a couple to the Apparently it’s about to start on BBC2 and I’ve highly COVID-19, too. I hope this pandemic will be done so that recommended it to the Lord Kettle, or indeed anyone else. A Orange Mike can make his TAFF trip. I can only imagine favorite (non-spoiler) line from an early episode: homeless how Vegas looks with empty streets. I live beside a major guy Pete (who often sleeps on the front steps where main highway in the west end of Toronto, and I could walk across character Lily Chan lives), after being berated a bit by that highway at 3am. The traffic is nearly non-existent. There another character, extracts a bit of money from him for the is a new government programme I will be applying to on promise not to ever speak to him again. Starting to thank Monday which should get some cash back into my account. I him, and getting a glare, Pete walks away, ruefully observing hope I qualify. “It’s that kind of unprofessionalism that led to a life on the streets”... Hmmm, a Corflu in Vancouver, BC? Sounds appealing, but Canada is a wide country, and again, the cash for a fast jet ✔ RIP : My old friend and conrunning colleague Neale just isn’t there. You might get some of the BCSFA people Mittenshaw-Hodge passed away last week, peacefully in his there, and you might entice Graeme Cameron over from sleep at Nottingham General Hospital, a venue which must Nanaimo on Vancouver Island. Graeme has recently taken have been like a second home to him since he’d suffered a lot back the reins for BCSFAzine. of health issues the last several years, to the astonishing My loc… looks like the newest fannish event may be the extent of once having been revived after being clinically virtual con. Looks like Amazing Magazine is trying to put dead. We worked together most notably when he was my something together, possibly in June. The local filkers are deputy chair for a ‘Holodeck’ Star Trek con, and did a pretty doing that, and I hear rumours of other virtual cons here and fuckin’ sublime job at it, given that part of the job description there. Well, it just won’t be the same. I better get myself a was to be the annoying little sod that kept me in order, a role working webcam. he rather relished at the time, not to say excelled at. Condolences and love to his missus, Chrissie ... [...] ✻ ✻ ✻ ✔ We all need one of these now...

WAHF Claire Brialey ; Tommy Ferguson forwards his excellent Corflu-timed publications, Tommyworld Redux and NICon 86 Remembered (via Curt Phillips) ; Keith Freeman, asking if I’d seen or heard the USAF Thunderbirds flyover of Vegas the other day. Sadly not, mate ; Ron Gemmell ; John Nielsen Hall sends the first two issues of his “quarantine-zine” Vita Transplantare, and very good they are an’all ; Andy Hooper, mentioning among other things a possible guest ‘Radio Winston’ column on Rocksteady. Yes, please! ; Rob Jackson ; Christina Lake sends Nowhere Fan 4, also well good! ; Dave Langford ; Guy Lillian : “On very first glance, these are phenomenal fillos.”; Orange Mike Lowrey ; George Phillies : “I think I mostly missed the two years ago Corflu outcomes in which there were, I gather, votes for N3F zines. Is there a preferred place to read about this?” [[You also presumably “mostly missed” The Incompleat Register results issue which you would also have received...]] ; John Purcell sends Askew #29 containing the full voting numbers for the FAAns and a somewhat startling response to my ✔ ZOOM : I ended up not putting me teeth in for Jim analysis lastish ; Taral Wayne ; Mowatt’s EasterThing Dead Dog, but respectfully did so for James Shields’ birthday drink a couple of days later, at which J Mowatt notably fell asleep. Perhaps he’s still there?...

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✔ TRIVIA : I spend way too much time skipping from #27, and I’d previously given him the general deadline of page to page in Wikipedia, but I do learn obscure things such “end of the month”, so it’s all on me being a bit previous & as the actress Jane Carr, who played Londo Mollari’s acerbic that. I guess we’ll say This Here...’s schedule is a suitably wife Timov (read her name backwards) in Babylon 5 also flexible 3 to 5 weeks between ishes. played “Pudding” in the very short-lived sitcom It’s Awfully There’s no line on getting back to work yet (Aileen Forman Bad For Your Eyes, Darling... in Laughlin is estimating June 1 at the earliest, and even that could be optimistic), but I am getting my Unemployment ✔ FEVER DREAMS : I’m not alone in having weird benefit ok, and Jen has been getting some transcribing work, dreams during the house arrest, but perhaps the most though not as much as previously. We’re all right for disturbing ones include learning that certain prominent supplies (for the minute, anyway), not as skint as some that’s inhabitants of the Faniverse have died. I’ll not name any of fershure, and have not resorted to drinking bleach, although them, until I can figure out whether it’s wish fulfillment or some might say the quality of the cheap whiskey I’ve got dread, though I mostly suspect the latter - none have might be considered comparable... happened in the waking life as yet... ✔ Ageless beauty: Marilu Henner... ✔ ZOOM (2) : Cambridge calling (again) - Carrie Mowatt organized a “ZoomZine” gathering for her Jim’s birthday, the idea being for people to punt a 3- minute “presentation” of some kind which would then be mercifully lost to the aether. As the hour advanced, people had done their turns and the mob dwindled, conversation turned to more typical fan room topics, in part the concept of having Noel Collyer’s phiz tattooed on your arse, which turned out to be comedy gold. I guess you had to have been there... ✔ FANARTIST FUNNIES : The Ubiquitous Ulrika, adjacent to sending more most welcome fillos, refers to the title of this fish-wrap as “This Heresy”. [falls off chair]... ✔ Speaking of Herself Up the Norfwest, I did observe that she’s only the second ever woman to scoop a Best Fanartist FAAn award. Perhaps Bob Jennings (locs) did have a point about “good-ole-boy regulars” after all... ✔ EGOTORIAL EXTRA : I’d mentioned to a bunch of people that I’d be getting thish out last weekend, but I ended up waiting for Hod-me-son’s ‘Footy’ column, so here it is now, and not then. I’m only mentioning this really to absolve Dave of any responsibility, since we’re not out “late” by any stretch - last weekend would have been just three weeks since

MIRANDA THIS HERE... is (mostly) written, edited and produced by: Nic Farey, published on efanzines.com by the Grace of Burns. Locs & that to: 2657 Rungsted Street, Las Vegas NV 89142, or Email [email protected] “Some memories of gone by time will still recall the Art credits: Teddy Harvia (p4); Ulrika O’Brien (loccol fillos, lies” pp 7-17)

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