July/August 2018 Writer's Digest

WD INTERVIEW

JULY/AUGUST 2018 writersdigest.com

C1_wd0818_Cover.indd C5 4/19/18 12:24 PM MasterWriter is everything the writer needs in one program. It includes Word Families, Phrases, Synonyms, Pop-Culture, a searchable Bible, the Defi nition and more. We recently added Figures of Speech, which gives you instant access to Metaphors, Similes, Onomatopoeia, Idioms, Oxymorons, Allusions, Alliterations, and Intensifi ers; a new unique source of intense descriptive words. The greatest enemy of creativity is distraction. Searching a bookshelf of reference dictionaries or bouncing from one website to the next trying to fi nd the right word is a distraction. Why struggle to fi nd that word when MasterWriter will show you all the possiblities in an instant?

C2_wd0818_TOC.indd C2 4/24/18 8:33 AM AUGUST 10–12, 2018 | NEW YORK CITY

FEATURING KEYNOTE SPEAKER JEFF VANDERMEER

This New York Times bestselling writer has been called “the weird Thoreau” by The New Yorker for his engagement with ecological issues. His most recent novel, Borne, received widespread critical acclaim and his prior novels include the lauded Southern Reach trilogy (Annihilation, Authority and Acceptance). Annihilation won the Nebula and Shirley Jackson awards, has been translated into 35 languages, and was recently made into a ﬁlm from Paramount Pictures directed by Alex Garland and starring Natalie Portman.

WritersDigestConference.com

#WDC18

C2_wd0818_TOC.indd 1 4/19/18 12:25 PM FEATURES

23 34 Joke’s on You True Wit Four veteran comedians share serious insight on what Truth may be stranger than fi ction, but it can also be writers can glean from stand-up. funnier. Employ these 6 techniques in memoir and BY DON VAUGHAN personal essay to cue readers’ chuckles. BY DINTY W. MOORE 26 38 Funny People From jester to jackass, comedic characters can lend a Laugh Track story some much-needed levity. Find out which classic Improv can bring a burst of energy to your creative type best suits your fi ction—no matter the genre. endeavors. Learn the basics with these 14 principles— BY ELIZABETH SIMS then put them into practice with some playful exercises. BY JORJEANA MARIE 30 Modern Times Given the award-winning power of shows like “Last Week Tonight” and “SNL,” it’s clear satire is as relevant today as it was for Chaplin and Chaucer. Here, the co-founder of Th e Onion shares how you, too, can add layers of meaning with humor. BY SCOTT DIKKERS

2 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

C2_wd0818_TOC.indd 2 4/19/18 12:25 PM JULY/AUGUST 2018 | VOLUME 98 | NO. 5

INKWELL

8 GIRL TALK: Formerly applied to TV and fi lm, the 44 Bechdel Test is now being used by some lit agents as a THE WD INTERVIEW: baseline for stronger female representation in stories. George Saunders BY LAURA ZATS Th e short-form master dishes on inventive structure, 10 PLUS: 5-Minute Memoir: Th e Jailhouse Rock • reveals why he’s wary of outlines and talks novel-length Expert Express • Worth a Th ousand Words • success with Lincoln in the Bardo. Winners of the 2017 WD Poetry Awards • BY TYLER MOSS Backstory • 7 Scathing Insults From Literature

COLUMNS

19 MEET THE AGENT: Rick Pascocello, Glass Literary Management BY KARA GEBHART UHL

20 BREAKING IN: Debut Author Spotlight BY BAIHLEY GENTRY

50 FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK: Th e Reason for Word Counts; Th e Importance of a Clear Genre 42 BY BARBARA POELLE 52 YOUR STORY: “Eyes Like Mine” Dialed In BY ROB SNYDER Th e winner of the 18th Annual Writer’s Digest Short Short 62 STANDOUT MARKETS: Atlas Obscura; Hemispheres; Story Competition reveals the understated power of daily Baen Publishing; Bellevue Literary Review life’s simple interactions in “Beneath the Cracks.” BY BAIHLEY GENTRY & TYLER MOSS PLUS: A complete list of the winners. 64 CONFERENCE SCENE: Realm Makers; BY KAREN KRUMPAK Steamboat Springs “A Day for Writers” PLUS: 8 Tips for Better Conference-Going BY DON VAUGHAN WRITER’S WORKBOOK S w, D ’t T 72 POTPOURRI FOR THE PEN ON THE COVER 55 SHOW AND TELL IN SHORT NONFICTION 30 Th e Onion Founder Reveals the Formula for Biting Satire BY SUSAN SHAPIRO 23 4 Stand-Up Comedians on Writing GETTY IMAGES Gut-Busting Jokes 58 SHOW, TELL AND SUGGEST IN FICTION 26 Craft Funny Characters: 7 Tried-and-True Types BY STEVEN JAMES WD INTERVIEW 38 14 Improv Tricks to Spur Creativity

ILLUSTRATIONS: 44 Th e WD Interview: George Saunders

JULY/AUGUST 2017 writersdigest.com CHLOE AFTEL;

PLUS: 4 online exclusives 5 editor’s letter 6 contributors

Writer’s Digest (ISSN 0043-9525) is published monthly, except bimonthly issues in March/April, May/June, July/August and November/December, by F+W Media Inc., 10151 Carver Road, Ste. 300, Cincinnati, OH 45242. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Writer’s Digest, P.O. Box 420235, Palm Coast, FL 32142-0235. Subscription rates: one year, $24.96; two years, $49.92; three years, $74.88. Canadian subscriptions add $10 per year for GST/HST tax and postage via surface mail. Foreign subscriptions add $10 for surface mail or $39 per year for airmail. Remit in U.S. funds. Canadian Publications Mail Agreement

SAUNDERS COVER PHOTO © No. 40025316. Canadian return address: 2835 Kew Drive, Windsor, ON N8T 3B7. Writer’s Digest, Reg. U.S. Pat. Off. Vol. 98, No. 5. Periodicals Postage Paid at Cincinnati, Ohio, and additional mailing offices.

WritersDigest.com I 3

C2_wd0818_TOC.indd 3 4/19/18 12:25 PM Right Now at

Lighten Up Generous. Th at’s the best word to describe this month’s WD Interview with George Saunders (Page 44), in which the award-winning author rhapsodizes about craft advice, motivation and trusting your gut. In this extended edition, Saunders explains how humor transformed his writing and shares tips for penning stronger dialogue.

Utopia Satire is more than just a comedic tool—it’s a device for social commentary. As a companion to his piece on how to write eff ective satire (“Modern Times,” Page 30), Th e Onion co-founder Scott Dikkers talks fi nding the compass for funny when things seem especially bleak.

Laugh-In In “Joke’s On You” (Page 23), four successful stand-up comics—Nikki Glaser, Andy Kindler, Laurie Kilmartin and Gary Gulman—share how their joke-writing processes can translate to scribes of all stripes. See those skills at play in these video clips from some of their best routines. © JUSTIN SULLIVAN/GETTY IMAGES IMAGES © JUSTIN SULLIVAN/GETTY To ﬁ nd all the above online companions to this issue in

one handy spot, visit writersdigest.com/aug-18. PHOTO THE ONION PLUS: Feed your inner fi re every day on the WD blogs!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION MIND YOUR MANNERS © DAVID CROSBY; CROSBY; © DAVID Many authors wait until they’ve com- Writing critique group members walk a pleted a novel or other signiﬁ cant work thin line between providing useful feed- before attempting to build a platform. back and devastating criticism. Practice SAUNDERS PHOTO Here’s why you should make expanding proper etiquette and foster good spirit your audience a daily practice. by following these 9 guidelines. bit.ly/under-constructionWD bit.ly/mind-your-mannersWD

REFLECTING POOL FOTOLIA.COM: BLOSSOMSTAR; BLOSSOMSTAR; FOTOLIA.COM:

Nicola Yoon’s poignant, timely The Sun Is Also a Star hit The New York Times bestseller list and remained there for 40 weeks. Here, Yoon shares the inspiration behind the novel and discusses her work with the We Need Diverse Books organization.

bit.ly/reﬂ ecting-poolWD © BLOG ILLUSTRATION

4 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

04_wd0818_Online TOC.indd 4 4/19/18 11:04 AM EDITOR’SLETTER

JULY/AUGUST 2018 | VOLUME 98 | NO. 5

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Tyler Moss

DESIGN & LAYOUT Laugh It Off Dean Abatemarco Good-natured revenge.

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Such was my goal as I prepared to give Baihley Gentry a speech at the wedding of a pal from high school. Th e year before, this buddy had given an ASSISTANT EDITOR impromptu toast at my own reception—more Karen Krumpak of a roast, actually—in which my face burned a EDITORIAL ASSISTANT hue common to most fi re extinguishers. Now, I Sarah Mullins hoped to return the favor. For a month I plotted

EDITOR-AT-LARGE out barbs and digs, scrapping draft aft er dismal Jessica Strawser draft until fi nally I forged a version that made my wife giggle—the ultimate tensile test. I was ready. CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Th e big day arrived. As the speeches commenced, my friend’s father stood to David Corbett, Jane Friedman, speak. Forgoing laughs, he delivered a powerful, emotionally devastating solilo- Steven James, Barbara Poelle, quy about how he wished my friend’s mother—who’d died when he was a child— Elizabeth Sims, Jeff Somers, Kara Gebhart Uhl, Don Vaughan could’ve been there to partake in the festivities. Instead she was “celebrating in heaven.” Without a dry eye left in the house, his opus ended to rousing ovation. Th en: “Next, one of the groom’s oldest companions, Tyler Moss.” WRITER’S DIGEST How could I follow a monologue with the weight of a eulogy? My insult com- WRITING COMMUNITY edy would surely fall fl at. Sick to my stomach, I stepped up to the microphone, CONTENT STRATEGIST raised my glass, and employed the only appropriate transition for the situation, Jess Zafarris courtesy of Monty Python: “And now for something completely diff erent.”

WRITING COMMUNITY EDITORS As my speech lurched forward, to my surprise, the routine was a hit— Robert Lee Brewer, Amy Jones provoking the audience, groom included, into a second bout of tears (granted, for a much diff erent reason). What made the set work was, in fact, the juxtaposition—the way in which it allowed a release from the heavier material. WRITER’S DIGEST EDITORIAL OFFICES And that, I believe, is the power of humor writ large. It’s why this “Comedy Issue” doesn’t focus on a single genre, but presents the medium’s utility across 10151 Carver Road, Ste. 300, Cincinnati, OH 45242 the board—through fi ctional characters (Page 26), in satire (Page 30) and (513)531-2690, ext. 11241; in nonfi ction (Page 34)—and demonstrates how the principles of comedy, [email protected] whether in stand-up (Page 23) or improv (Page 38), can provoke mirth in the work of every writer. Even this month’s interviewee, George Saunders (Page 44)—whose stories frequently plunder the depths of melancholy—refl ects on SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE how essential humor has been to his success: “For many years I resisted being Subscription inquiries, orders and funny on the page. Th at didn’t fi t my idea of what a writer did. I paid for that in address changes can be made at dull story aft er dull story.” When he fi nally accepted that laughter, as in life, has writersdigest.com/contact-us a place in even the most serious of moments, his tales took on another dimen-

Or call: (800)333-0133 for U.S. orders, sion—and his fi rst collection sold to critical acclaim. (386)246-3372 for international orders. So go forth and glean all you can from the comic strategies abundant in this Email: issue. And when you’re done, take a page from the book of the insuff erably [email protected] endearing Ignatius J. Reilly: “When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

BACK ISSUES STEPHANIE MOSS

Both print and digital back issues are available for purchase at

MOSS PHOTO © writersdigestshop.com.

WritersDigest.com I 5

05_wd0818_EdLetter.indd 5 4/24/18 8:34 AM CONTRIBUTORS F+W, A CONTENT + ECOMMERCE COMPANY CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Greg Osberg

CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Jennifer Graham

SVP, GENERAL MANAGER - SCOTT DIKKERS (“Modern Times,” Page 30) F+W CRAFTS GROUP co-founded Th e Onion, founded Th eOnion.com John Bolton and heads the “Writing With Th e Onion” program SVP, GENERAL MANAGER - F+W FINE ART, WRITING AND DESIGN GROUPS at Th e Second City in Chicago. He’s the No. 1 New David Pyle

York Times bestselling author of How To Write SVP, GENERAL MANAGER - Funny, and his work has won the Th urber Prize F+W OUTDOORS AND SMALL BUSINESS GROUPS for American Humor, a Peabody and more than 30 Ray Chelstowski

Webby Awards. MANAGING DIRECTOR - F+W INTERNATIONAL James Woollam

VP, GENERAL COUNSEL Robert Sporn

VP, HUMAN RESOURCES DINTY W. MOORE (“True Wit,” Page 34) is the Gigi Healy author of the memoir Between Panic & Desire, the VP, MANUFACTURING & LOGISTICS writing guide Craft ing the Personal Essay and nine Phil Graham

other books. He has published essays and stories in ADVERTISING Th e Georgia Review, Harpers, Th e New York Times ADVERTISING SALES Magazine, Th e Normal School and elsewhere, and REPRESENTATIVE Jill Ruesch (800)726-9966, ext. 13223; he edits Brevity, a literary journal of fl ash nonfi ction. fax: (715)445-4087 Moore lives in Athens, Ohio, where he grows heir- [email protected] loom tomatoes and edible dandelions. ADVERTISING SALES COORDINATOR Julie Dillon (800)726-9966, ext. 13311; fax: (715)445-4087 [email protected] NANETTE LAVOIE-VAUGHAN NANETTE LAVOIE-VAUGHAN ATTENTION RETAILERS SUSAN SHAPIRO (“Show and Tell in Short To carry Writer’s Digest in your store,

please contact: Curtis Circulation Co. PHOTO © Nonfi ction,” Page 55) is an award-winning writing (201)634-7400. professor and contributor to Th e New York Times, Washington Post, Th e Wall Street Journal and New For Newsstand Distribution, contact: ; VAUGHAN Scott T. Hill; [email protected] York magazine. She’s the bestselling author/co-author of the books Unhooked, Th e Bosnia List, Five Men PRIVACY PROMISE

Occasionally we make portions of DANIEL BROWNSTEIN Who Broke My Heart and the exciting new writing our customer list available to other guide Th e Byline Bible, where she spills all the secrets companies so they may contact you of her—and her students’—publishing success. about products and services that may Follow Shapiro on Twitter at @susanshapironet and be of interest to you. If you prefer we withhold your name, simply send a SHAPIRO PHOTO © ; Instagram at @profsue123. note with the magazine name to: List Manager, F+W Media Inc., 10151 Carver Road, Ste. 300, Cincinnati, OH 45242. DON VAUGHAN (“Joke’s on You,” Page 23) has Printed in the USA RENITA M. ROMASCO RENITA

made his living with words for more than 40 years, COPYRIGHT © 2018 BY F+W MEDIA INC. and has worked as a full-time freelance writer since ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. WRITER’S DIGEST MAGAZINE IS A REGISTERED 1991. He’s published more than 2,000 articles and TRADEMARK OF F+W MEDIA INC.

columns in an eclectic array of publications and has MOORE PHOTO © ; written, co-written or contributed to more than 30 NICKI FIETZER

nonfi ction books. Vaughan is also the founder of Triangle Association of Freelancers, one of the

largest organizations in North Carolina dedicated PHOTO © to freelance writing. DIKKERS

6 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

06_wd0818_Contribs.indd 6 4/24/18 8:35 AM 5th Annual Awards

Honoring theBest Early Bird Deadline SELF-PUBLISHED AUGUST 1

EBOOKS UPDATED CATEGORIES You’ve chosenh theh independentd d route andd self-publishedlf bl h d FOR 2018 your ebook, now take the next step and be recognized for Contemporary Fiction your great work. Submit your self-published ebook(s) in the Romance Writer’s Digest 5th Annual Self-Published Ebook Awards Fantasy Science Fiction for a chance to win $5,000 in cash, a featured interview in Mystery/Thriller Writer’s Digest magazine, and a paid trip to the ever-popular Young Adult Writer’s Digest Annual Conference in New York City. Memoir Learn more at WritersDigest.com/competitions Nonﬁction

06_wd0818_Contribs.indd 7 4/20/18 11:16 AM Girl Talk Formerly applied to TV and ﬁ lm, the Bechdel Test is now being used by some lit agents as a baseline for stronger female representation in stories. Find out how meeting three simple criteria can help elevate your characters above stereotypes.

BY LAURA ZATS

f you’re a querying writer, you know that there are a lot of little I things that can make or break your shot at representation … and that process can be nerve-wracking. Yet there are easy boxes to check off that will increase your odds from the outset: Spelling an agent’s name right. Cutting that fi rst scene where the character wakes up. Knowing your competitive titles. For my slush pile, one of the most essential requirements is that a book passes the “Bechdel Test,” a measure of female characters’ presence or weight in the story on their own was strange to think that all the great fi lm industry, which gave birth to the terms, distinct from male characters. women of ﬁ ction were, until Jane test as it’s known today. Th e Bechdel Th is, too, is a simple requirement, Austen’s day, not only seen by the Test, also called the Bechdel-Wallace though most authors are unfamiliar other sex, but seen only in relation to Test, fi rst appeared in the comic strip with the test itself. the other sex. Dykes to Watch Out For, written and Th e ideological inspiration behind illustrated by Alison Bechdel, in 1985. the Bechdel Test can be traced to the Th e fundamental complaint here is In this particular strip, two women are 1929 Virginia Woolf essay “A Room that in a lot of media, women—who discussing a movie, and one tells the of One’s Own.” In it, she writes: make up a full 51 percent of the popu- other she will only see a fi lm if it: lation—are rarely allowed to have their 1. Has two women in it … I tried to remember any case in own stories, and are not well repre- 2. who speak to one another … the course of my reading where two sented in the perceived literary canon. 3. about something other than women are represented as friends. … Liz Wallace, a friend of graphic a man. WILLIAM87/GETTY IMAGES WILLIAM87/GETTY But almost without exception they novelist Alison Bechdel, read this essay Seems simple, right?

are shown in their relation to men. It half a century later and applied it to the Well, if it is, most movies from the PHOTO ©

8 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 8 4/19/18 11:10 AM 33 years since that comic was created make sure the story passes the test. Not bulk of books published in the U.S. sure haven’t fulfi lled those “easy” crite- because books that don’t pass are bad, Why not, then, make room for your ria. Only about half the fi lms released but because I consider the Bechdel reader in your work? in any given year pass the test, and Test to be a baseline: the lowest set of On an individual scale, I think the TV shows have only recently begun to requirements for an author writing Bechdel Test is best used as an editing measure up. Year-to-year the fi gures women as worthwhile characters. (OK, tool, a reminder to engage with your are pretty surprising, given that in the the second lowest when you consider own gender stereotypes and per- original test the women don’t even the “Sexy Lamp Test” created by comic sonal assumptions. Are your female need to be named (although nowa- book writer Kelly Sue DeConnick, characters drawn well enough to have days requiring they have names has wherein you need another draft if you their own motivations? If you’re send- become a common addition to the can replace a female character with a ing fi ve people to space in your sci-fi basic principles). sexy lamp and the story still works.) story, examine why none of them are In the last decade, thanks in large As an agent, I work in a lot of women. Is it because you assumed part to the internet, the idea of the male-dominated genres—particularly, there couldn’t be any? Are you inad- Bechdel Test has started to take hold adult science fi ction and fantasy. Th e vertently pitting women against each outside of the fi lm industry—and its prevalence has provoked many ques- I consider the Bechdel Test to be a baseline: the tions about the three requirements. I will be the fi rst person to tell you lowest set of requirements for an author writing that the test is fl awed. For instance, women as worthwhile characters. it doesn’t take into account what the women talk about. It doesn’t allow for canon in these genres is overwhelm- other, instead of allowing them to have well-drawn female characters in male ingly male. For one Octavia Butler deep, supportive relationships? spaces. It doesn’t make space for non- you have a hundred J.R.R. Tolkiens, For authors, passing the Bechdel gender-conforming individuals. and the lack of women in this space Test is easy. Aft er all, a fi lm has only Commonly, it’s used as short- is even more prevalent when it comes two hours to do so—you have 80,000 hand for telling if a piece of media is to characters. As a young reader, I words. Consider the Harry Potter uni- feminist, but that’s not actually true found this disparity distressing. Now, verse. Out of eight fi lms, Goblet of Fire either. A movie can be misogynistic as someone in the book biz, I get to and Half-Blood Prince fail, with others and off ensive in a hundred ways and do something about it. just squeaking by. But all seven books still pass. It also has nothing to do Publishing professionals are pass the test easily, even though it’s a with quality. Moonlight, the winner acutely aware that their work has series that follows a young boy. of the 2017 Academy Award for Best the potential to make a mark on the While I’ll keep using the Bechdel Picture, does not pass—nor should it, canon for generations to come. When Test, as imperfect as it is, I’m most as it’s a coming-of-age story about a I fi rst began agenting, I thought excited by its legacy as the foundation gay man. It’s not a woman’s story. about the legacy of my list. When of other media assessments that help So then, with all its fl aws, why do all the books repped throughout consumers to fi nd stories that refl ect people still use it as a sort of standard? my career were looked at as a whole, them. For example, there’s the “Vito Th e Bechdel Test is valuable when what would they say about me? What Russo Test,” which tests for LGBTQ translated into a statistic. It points to would they say about the world? representation, and the “DuVernay the fi lm industry’s general success (or As a creator, you should ask these Test,” which tests for non-stereotypical failure) at gender parity—an indus- questions of your work as well. You characters of color—both of which are try-wide improvement in passing have the great ability to aff ect who pointing us in the right direction. acknowledges that women’s stories are people are—what they love, what they Aft er all, everyone deserves to be worthwhile and profi table, and teaches think, who they become—all of which a hero. viewers that women are important is easier to do if a reader can see them- beyond the context of male characters. selves refl ected in a character. We also Laura Zats is an agent at Red Sofa Literary Before I off er representation, I know that it’s women who read the and host of Print Run, a publishing podcast.

WritersDigest.com I 9

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 9 4/19/18 11:10 AM 5-MINUTE MEMOIR The Jailhouse Rock BY JOSH MAX

ew York Press, a free stopped responding. alternative-weekly news- Th e stories sat in my hard drive, N paper, was published and untouched. Th en, one night at 2 a.m., hungrily ingested by a a drunken couple was having a loud large populace of New York City argument outside my fi ft h-fl oor walk- starting in the late 1980s. I thought up apartment. Aft er the usual bellow I might try submitting some of my of, “Shut the hell up!” out my window fi rst-person stories there when I began had no eff ect (they countered with, of You attempting to write for money in 1998. course, “ shut the hell up!”), I fi red to riot) reduced to “disturbing the I mailed a letter to the editor intro- an empty fl owerpot in their direction— peace.” A $50 fi ne, case closed. at ducing myself, and included a few not them—which broke on the side- I ran home—really, ran—and typed potential story ideas. Despite his news- walk. I also called the cops, as did a few out 3,000 words describing the expe- paper’s reputation for snarling sarcasm, other fed-up people on the block. rience start to fi nish. I put the story the editor was kind and responded, “I’d Th e couple did not, as hoped, run aside for a day, re-read it, didn’t change like to see these, but write the whole for their lives or take their argument a sentence and sent it to the editor of story; don’t pitch. Th e way it works elsewhere. When the police showed New York Press. here is if we like it, we’ll run it. If we up fi ve minutes later, the pair told the He put it on the front page with an don’t, we won’t.” cops that a crazy person was throw- illustration the following week. Over the following year, I sent him ing stuff at them, and they pointed But that’s not the end of the story. a short fi rst-person story about once to my window. I answered a knock at Over the following year and a half, every six weeks: my three-year engage- the door and saw four nervous, extra- I re-submitted every story I’d sent him, ment to an heiress; my fi ve months burly police offi cers. In my naiveté, I and each one was printed and a check living in an Indian ashram; my attempt consented to stepping out of my apart- for $300 sent to me. He’d forgotten, I to form a Beatles-style band and the ment to give them more information guess, that he’d already rejected every I meetings that followed with a variety aft er explaining, in vain, that was the one the fi rst time around. of bizarre would-be McCartneys. one who called them. Th e moral? Th ere are a few. Each story—eight in all—was Promptly cuff ed, I was driven to 1. Don’t make decisions about politely rejected for diff erent reasons. the stationhouse, where I spent the your talent—or lack thereof “We just ran something like this,” or, “It night on the fl oor of a stinky cell—my —based on rejection. just didn’t grab me.” head next to the bars, my feet next to 2. Don’t take no for an answer. At the end of the year, aft er yet the clogged toilet, with a groaning her- 3. If you must throw something another rejection, I received a personal oin addict in the throes of withdrawal out your window, try note: “I invite you to seek another out- occupying the only bench. Aft er a a water balloon. M. WARTELLA let for your stories.” Instead of being breakfast of Kool-Aid and a balo- Josh Max (joshmax.com) is a writer and musi- disappointed, I actually appreciated gna sandwich, they put me in front cian from New York City who has published this man taking the time to tell me to of a judge, then released me with the seven op-eds in The New York Times since

move on. Most editors would’ve just charges (mayhem, assault, incitement 2014. He is currently ﬁ nishing a memoir. OF COURTESY ARTWORK

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: Submit your own 600-word essay reﬂ ection on the writing life by emailing it to [email protected] with

“5-Minute Memoir” in the subject line. NEW YORK PRESS

10 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 10 4/24/18 8:36 AM The Fundamentals of Travel Photography Taught by Bob Krist NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPHER LESSON TITLES

1. The Travel Photographer’s Mission 2. Photographing for Story 3. Three Keys: Light, Composition, Moment 4. Natural Light on Landscapes 5. Natural Light on People 6. Composition and the Power of Lenses TIME ED O T FF 7. On Location in San Miguel de Allende I E IM R L 8. Gear, Packing, and Security 70% 9. Five Obstacles to a Great Photo

7 10. Capturing the Spirit of People O R off R D E 11. People in Performance E B R M 12. Using Flash on the Road BY PTE SE 13. Capturing the Spirit of Landscapes 14. Special Techniques for Creative Photos 15. Capturing the Spirit of Wildlife 16. Animals in Action 17. Architecture and Skylines 18. Festivals, Parades, and Special Events 19. Street Scenes and Neighborhoods 20. Workﬂ ow on the Road 21. Photographing a City: Philadelphia 22. Photographing a Region: Tuscany Learn Better Ways to 23. Working with Video Take Travel Photos 24. Sharing Your Stories Great travel photographs—whether of a trip to a local zoo or a mountain village around the world—require the ability to The Fundamentals of Travel Photography tell a captivating story. It’s the same skill National Geographic Course no. 7951 | 24 lessons (30 minutes/lesson) photographers use to get their breathtaking shots, a skill that photographers at any level can master. In The Fundamentals of Travel Photography, National Geographic SAVE UP TO $190 photographer Bob Krist shares his insights with you through 24 lectures packed with the best photographs from his broad career as a travel photographer. You’ll learn what it takes to get compelling DVD $269.95 NOW $79.95 pictures of landscapes, animals, people, landmarks, street scenes, Video Download $234.95 NOW $59.95 +$10 Shipping & Processing (DVD only) and more. You’ll also peek inside the mindset of a working travel and Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee photographer and learn the practical skills required to take great Priority Code: 158611 pictures in unfamiliar places. Stop taking so-so travel photos and start capturing the world the way a National Geographic photographer does on assignment. For over 25 years, The Great Courses has brought the world’s foremost educators to millions who want to go deeper into the subjects that matter most. No Off er expires 09/07/18 exams. No homework. Just a world of knowledge available anytime, anywhere. Download or stream THEGREATCOURSES.COM/7WDG to your laptop or PC, or use our free apps for iPad, iPhone, Android, Kindle Fire, or Roku. Over 600 1-800-832-2412 courses available at www.TheGreatCourses.com.

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 11 4/19/18 11:10 AM Expert Express Quotes from voices of authority can lend articles credibility and depth. Learn how to enhance your freelance writing by incorporating expert input.

BY KIMBERLY A. EDWARDS

or every article I write I • an exhibit coordinator, like a puzzle. Experts act to validate, consult fi ve to 15 experts— • and volunteers of diff erent illustrate, debunk or lead a reader F depending on length, type generations. toward ideas using experience, insight and complexity of topic. Th e top three bullets acted as and wisdom. Oft en, I re-contact Including voices of authority on a Authorities, the next two served as experts with additional questions, ulti- subject allows me to formulate the Position Holders and the fi nal three mately using the quotes that best drive contours of a piece by describing, as Representative Voices. Each one concepts forward. summarizing, predicting, interpret- covered unique aspects, resulting in an Depending on the demographic ing and breaking down especially article in which all points converged. I’m writing for, I’ll seek experts from thorny topics. Unlike other forms I usually approach experts as fol- various geographical locations and of research, experts are available for lows: “I’m working on a short article entities large and small, and will interaction—I can ask questions and for [insert publication]. How would include an occasional divergent seek clarifi cation. you characterize three emerging point of view. I regularly employ my To identify these subject specialists, trends in [insert subject]?” Most are most intriguing quotes in the fi rst I search relevant leading publications, pleased to be asked. If I get a positive and the last paragraphs. associations, prominent blogs and response, I’ll continue the dialogue Trimming such quotes can be books. Th e more technical the article, and promise to let them know if I use challenging—even painful. To avoid the more experts I try to engage. their quote. long citations from a single expert, I Th ose I seek generally fall into three When draft ing my article, I pair seek out the kernels. If I have excess main categories: experts’ words with premises I plan to applicable material that doesn’t fi t convey, piecing the narrative together within the body of the article, I may 1. THE RESPECTED AUTHORITY (a person who has convincing credentials or publication credits) USE EXPERT QUOTES TO: 2. THE POSITION HOLDER (an offi cer, • Establish credibility CEO, board member, government • Humanize a complex subject offi cial, etc.) • Support, ﬂ esh out or challenge a premise

3. THE REPRESENTATIVE VOICE (a per- • Show different points of view son whose voice embodies a particular • Say something that others cannot segment relevant to the article) AVOID USING EXPERT QUOTES TO: As an example, for an article on club • Impart information the narrative can deliver; instead, use quotes for volunteering, I contacted: perspective and zing • the author of a book on • Convey the obvious or something uninteresting volunteering, • Tell the whole story—the expert is but a “tie” in the track • a Member Services specialist, • Cram an article with quotes, quotes, quotes; in other words, space out • a leadership professional, experts to give the reader breathing space, and to make for smoother • two organization presidents, transitions between different sets of quotes • a non-profi t executive director, • Embarrass the expert—be sensitive to the need to keep quotes in context • a publisher,

12 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 12 4/24/18 8:37 AM MWW SUPER MINI-CONFERENCE package that information into a instances. For a piece I wrote on a July 27-28, 2018 at the Ball State complementary section or sidebar, to beloved swim coach, I sought recol- Alumni Center, Muncie, IN be added if space permits (e.g., “Tales lections from former students who from Th ree Marketers” or “Tips and expressed how the coach taught Comments from Attendees”). them as children: an educator shared Although it’s certainly not a require- how the coach’s technique was ment to run quotes by experts (and eff ective; a gold medalist described in some cases is frowned upon, so the coach’s infl uence; his wife gave check with your editor), with complex endearing, amusing anecdotes that or technical material it can be helpful no one else could (or dared). A dynamic day-and-a-half with a decidedly different structure—shorter, smaller, less expensive, with a to ensure I’ve understood the quote Th ough not experts in the tra- strong emphasis on helping you reach your writing accurately and that it’s in the proper ditional sense, these folks were still goals. context. Once I decide which quotes to authorities on the article’s subject— This MWW Craft + Community super mini is designed for writers of every level in their careers. use, I tell the quotee, “I’d like to use the the esteemed swim coach—and their This “super mini” offers eight in-depth, hands-on following …” and email the paragraph experience lent the piece an impor- interactive, small class size sessions taught by experienced, accomplished, and professional faculty. containing that quote. At that time, I tant inside look. Consider the topic Learn more at midwestwriters.org. also confi rm name spelling and title. and overall trajectory of the story you Seldom do I share the entire article intend to write, and seek out the sort of with them until aft er publication, when experts who will add dimension to the I’ll email them the link for use on their piece in ways you couldn’t have man- websites or in company newsletters. aged simply from researching online. A word on the “non-expert www.midwestwriters.org expert”—the witness, the bystander, Kimberly A. Edwards has written articles for 40 years and leads a memoir seminar in the consumer, the friend or rela- Sacramento, where she serves as president tive, which is quite useful in some of the local California Writers Club branch. QUESTIONS? FEEDBACK? WE’RE HERE TO HELP! Worth a Thousand Words

TWITTER Give us a shout-out @WritersDigest, or try a speciﬁc editor, such as @tjmoss11 or @jfarrisknight. FACEBOOK Look for our fan page at facebook. com/writersdigest, where conversations happen every day. NEWSLETTER If you don’t receive our free email newsletter, you’re missing some great curation of our content and community. Sign up at our home page, writersdigest.com.

DON’T LET YOUR QUESTIONS GO UNANSWERED. GET IN TOUCH. Bob Eckstein is a writer and cartoonist for The New Yorker and The New York Times. His latest book is Footnotes From the World's Greatest Bookstores.

WritersDigest.com I 13

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 13 4/24/18 8:37 AM No matter what you write, a bit of poetic license can be a valuable asset to any writer’s arsenal.

BY ROBERT LEE BREWER

The Winners of the 2017 WD Poetry Awards

common question most or style. Th ere is no set formula to poets ask when entering a accomplish that either, but as a judge, A Weeping Acontest is usually along the I get a gut feeling when a poem tran- Serbian lines of, “What makes for a scends the text on the page. Spruce winning poem?” BY THOMAS Th ere were many strong con- DUKES Th e easy answer: Write the best tenders in our latest competition— poem you can. Of course, that’s a over 1,750 in total—but I ultimately I’d cry, too, cop out. Most judges are deciding selected “A Weeping Serbian Spruce,” Stranded beside a house between a whole host of good poems. by Th omas Dukes for the grand prize. Older than the Crucifi xion Th e real answer is to write an excel- Dukes will take home $1,000 and a In Wadsworth, Ohio. lent poem that separates itself from copy of Poet’s Market 2018. the pack—either in subject, tone Dukes’ use of juxtaposition made I lived too long “A Weeping Serbian Spruce” a dis- Said Miss Julia before they tinct stand-out among the other THE TOP 10 POETRY Carried her out feet fi rst contenders. For instance, the frank AWARD WINNERS Beside the subservient branches. and direct language belies a mystery 1. “A Weeping Serbian Spruce” hiding beneath the surface. In addi- Children and grandchildren BY THOMAS DUKES tion to tree empathy (unique on its Played camoufl age and cried 2. “In a While” BY KATE DICKSON own), brides, children and animals Inside its arms until 3. “Gidget Gets Old” are posed and juxtaposed against the Th ey outgrew such mysteries. BY GAIL ISRAEL weeping tree that is simultaneously 4. “September 15, 2017” indiff erent and waiting. Brides posed before it, BY YOUNG SANG LEE Like the tree, this poem contains Breezes impatient with their dresses; 5. “Hanging on the Barbed Wire” more than it seems at fi rst glance. Dogs went underneath to whelp, BY PAT ANTHONY It’s that layer of mystery, the pow- Cats to die. 6. "The Vagabond erful subtext that gives “A Weeping Quothe Shakespeare" Serbian Spruce” extra oomph. Th e house will never sell at that price, PATRICIA LANADA PATRICIA

BY MARK NOVAK Th e WD Poetry Awards call for And the neighbors smirk— 7. “The Funeral of a Friend's Son” previously unpublished, original Th e indiff erent tree waits. BY ANNE PABST poems of 32 lines or fewer. Th e top

Waiting is what it does best. DUKES PHOTO © 8. “Crude Crude English” 25 winners receive a copy of the lat- BY ARVID SVENSKE est Poet’s Market (WD Books) and writersdigest.com.

recognition on TONY CAPURRO; 9. “Cotton Picker's Lament” BY ALEX J. STOKAS THE WINNER’S CIRCLE Robert Lee Brewer is the editor of Poet’s To read all 10 award-winning poems 10. “Advice From Beyond” Market and Writer’s Market (both WD from the 2017 WD Poetry Awards, visit BY GAIL ISRAEL Books) and the author of the poetry collec- writersdigest.com/aug-18.

tion Solving the World’s Problems. © BREWER ILLUSTRATION

14 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 14 4/19/18 11:11 AM Poetry Awards

32 LINES. ANY FORM. $1,000 PRIZE.

We’re looking for your best poems of 32 lines or fewer—free verse, odes, pantoums, sonnets, villanelles and even haiku—for the 13th Annual Writer’s Digest Poetry Awards!

This is the only Writer’s Digest competition exclusively for poets,

with $1,000 in cash for the winner.

EARLY-BIRD DEADLINE: OCTOBER 1, 2018

Discover the full prize list and entry details at WRITERSDIGEST.COM/POETRYAWARDS

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 15 4/19/18 11:11 AM Backstory How to Write Humor

BY HENRY FISHER

To complement this issue’s comedy theme, we thought it might be interesting to take a look at what tips we could fi nd in our archives. Th is article from the August 1923 Writer’s Digest titled “What Is Humor?” is perhaps better suited for historical amusement than practical application—but we bet a buggy whip that you’ll enjoy the read.

ill the professional humorists kindly W leave the room for a few moments? Th ank you! Th e writer—a professional humorist—wants to open the joker’s bag of tricks, and is not very desirous to be dodging bullets during the exposé. Sh! Have they all gone? Th en let’s go! Did you know that, with the proper formula, anyone with the slightest sense of humor is capable of turning out original jokes by the score—the kind that every editor is clamoring for? Is it easy? Yes, children. As simple as rolling off a log. How oft en one reads a good joke, laughs, passes it on to a friend, but never stops to analyze its construction. To produce good humor, the following elements are essential: • ability to recognize good jokes gloomy days. Sunshine spells cheer • pep from bad and fi lls one’s imagination with radi- • observation • knowledge of the editor’s needs. ant thoughts sparkling with humor. • originality Proof? Have you ever entered • imagination NUMBER ONE IS PEP a streetcar on a rainy day? Doesn’t • knowledge of current events Professional humorists, be they everyone appear sulky and downcast? • knowledge of history ever so sly and clever, seldom turn But how do you fi nd people when the and geography out great quantities of material on sun is shining? Oh, boy!

16 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 16 4/24/18 8:37 AM It puts enough ambition into a Pugilistic Passenger—“I’ll only pay Midnight Marauders’ Burglar Union man to make him try to sell buggy for 17 blocks!” had relieved him of one perfectly new whips in Detroit. Taxi Chauff eur—“You mean 18 typewriter, which he had recently pur- Hence, cheerfulness is all-impor- blocks.” chased on the installment plan. tant. Try to see the funny side of Pugilistic Passenger—“Is that so! “This surely is a hot one,” he every situation. So you want me to knock your block laughed, as he picked up the tele- off !” phone receiver. “Give me Main 4448, NUMBER TWO IS See the point? In the fi nished joke, please. …Hello? Is this the Paymore OBSERVATION the passenger is not intoxicated, but Typewriter Co.? Well, you people are Every day before our very eyes, we pugilistic. Th is is done to convince certainly out of luck! Someone entered observe numerous comical situations the reader that his overwhelming my ofﬁ ce last night and stole your that are actually begging to be pre- strength gives him the privilege of machine.” served through your typewriter keys. using forceful language. “You mean your machine, Mr. Observation alone means nothing. It Another example in observation, Ennicase,” came back the astounded is only a preliminary to the grasp- which later brought the longed-for voice over the wire, after identifying ing and recording of situations. It is understood that we cannot record Professional humorists, be they ever so sly and what we do not see. clever, seldom turn out great quantities of material Th e following illustrates some of my own observations that were on gloomy days. turned into jokes that brought home the bacon: check together with a letter of con- the caller. “Why, you made the initial A taxi drew up to the corner. gratulation from Mr. Perriton Maxwell, payment last week.” Th e passenger emerged from the editor of Judge at the time: “Quite true,” explained the shrewd cab, glanced at the meter and then I had purchased a typewriter on lawyer, “but your contract, which I handed the chauff eur a stiff argument. the installment plan and with it came have in my possession, states that “You rode 18 blocks,” maintained a card upon which I was to record the ‘machine remains the property of the driver. my monthly payments. Stated on the Paymore Typewriter Co. until fully paid “I’ll knock your block off if you reverse side of the card was the fol- for.” Therefore, in sympathy for your try to tell me that!” threatened the lowing declaration: “Th is machine loss, I shall not ask that you return my passenger, under the infl uence of remains the property of the … initial payment. Good-bye!” moonshine. Typewriter Co. until fully paid for.” I Notice the names I have employed in I did not wait to see how the ver- immediately noticed the loophole in the anecdote. It is a natural fact that bal battle ended, but strolled up the that statement and got busy with it. we pay a wee bit more when buying avenue juggling the words “block” What should happen, said I to myself, on the installment plan. Hence, “Th e and “blocks” in my mind. A word if someone were to steal the machine Paymore Typewriter Co.” A lawyer with two meanings, especially when from my studio? Would the loss be is always willing to defend any case employed in a slang phrase, is the mine or the company’s? Has not that may present itself. Th is gives us basis of many an original joke. Some the company informed me that the “Mr. Ennicase.” call it a pun. Th erefore, to “knock his machine is their property until fully Th e fi eld of humor is so vastly rich, block off ” is a direct acknowledge- paid for? But why go further? My both in everyday occurrences and ment that the entire argument hinged story speaks for itself: eventual checks from eager editors, on one block. To make the joke stick that it is really surprising to know right, we will assume that the passen- "The Loop-Hole" that this country can boast no more ger was willing to pay for one block Upon arriving at his ofﬁ ce, Mr. Ennicase, than 50 humorists. less than the actual journey. the prominent attorney, broke into a Observe how easily the joke forms spasm of laughter when he discovered Henry Fisher was a successful humorist and itself: that a member or members of the a contributor to WD in the 1920s.

WritersDigest.com I 17

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 17 4/24/18 8:37 AM GET 7 Scathing Insults DIGITALLY! From Literature It only makes sense that wordsmiths write the world’s best burns. The next time you feel like hurling invectives, consider these classic taunts.

“Thou art a boil, a plague-sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.” —King Lear in King Lear, by William Shakespeare

“You festering gumboil! You ﬂ eabitten fungus! … You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!” —Agatha Trunchbull in Matilda, by Roald Dahl

“You're a beast and a swine and a bloody, bloody thief!” —Ralph in Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

“You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” —Harvey Stone in The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway

“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.” —Sally Nicholas in The Adventures of Sally, by P.G. Wodehouse

“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.” —Algernon Moncrieff in The Importance of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wilde

“Thou woldest make me kisse thyn old breech, And swere it were a relyk of a saint, Though it were with thy fundement depeint!” —"The Pardoner’s Tale” in The Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer CULTURE CLUB/GETTY IMAGES CULTURE

CANTERBURY TALES IMAGE © TALES CANTERBURY

18 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

08_wd0818_Inkwell.indd 18 4/24/18 8:37 AM MEETTHEAGENT

BY KARA GEBHART UHL

Peter Kozodoy, author of Rick Pam Grossman, Honest to author of Waking Greatness the Witch (BenBella Books, Pascocello (Gallery Books, 2019) SM Thayer, author 2019) GLASS LITERARY MANAGEMENT of I Will Never Leave You orn in Brooklyn, N.Y., and raised predominantly in Long (Thomas & Mercer, “Open to all queries BIsland (“close enough to feel the buzz of the city”), Rick September 2018) except children’s books. Pascocello earned his English language and literature degree [Seeking] provocative from Binghamton University, graduating in 1992 and begin- literary ﬁ ction, especially ning his publishing career at Putnam/Berkley the same year. fresh thriller writers; ‘big idea’ nonﬁ ction—business He spent the next two decades orchestrating thousands of books, science, politics or a book-marketing campaigns and working with bestsellers, compelling narrative including Harlan Coben, Patricia Cornwell, Charlaine Harris, or memoir.” Nora Roberts, Khaled Hosseini, James McBride, Dan Pink, SEEKING Joan Rivers, Patrick Rothfuss, J.R. Ward and more. CLIENTS Eager to leverage his marketing know-how for writers Boring me with marketing ideas. in an agenting capacity, Pascocello joined Glass Literary Management in 2016. “I know what marketing sells books to Writing a query readers,” he says, “and I also realize the book itself is more QUERY PET that’s too long. critical to its success than any marketing campaign.” PEEVES Learn more about Pascocello at glassliterary.com.

“‘Ass in the chair’— DRINK: That’s a line BLOG: Coffee from the brilliant lefsetz.com/wordpress WRITING Nora Roberts.” TIPS

“Story arc is QUOTE: important, no FAVORITE “We are the music makers, matter what genre— and we are the dreamers even nonﬁ ction, of dreams.” —Gene Wilder maybe especially.” in the ﬁ lm version of Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the UPCOMING Chocolate Factory CONFERENCES

MICHAEL BURRELL/GETTY IMAGES LIVING AUTHOR:

“The next ‘One.’ I Writer’s Digest admit to loving the FUN Annual Conference,

; BASEBALL © thrill of the chase.” FACTS Hunter College New York City, Writing Symposium, August 10–12 New York City, June 15 DEAD AUTHOR: David Carr. “I’m not sure we’ve found his successor.” “I love baseball, food “I still play ball— and books— now softball; baseballs SILVER SCREEN COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES SILVER not always in get a lot faster as you that order.” get older.”

WILDER PHOTO © Kara Gebhart Uhl (pleiadesbee.com) writes and edits from Fort Thomas, Ky.

WritersDigest.com I 19

19_wd0818_MTA.indd 19 4/19/18 11:12 AM BREAKINGIN

Debut authors: How they did it, what they learned and why you can do it, too. BY BAIHLEY GENTRY

Ellison Cooper Caged (crime thriller, July, Minotaur Books) After the death of her ﬁ ancé, FBI neuro- scientist Sayer Altair wanted stories. I wrote one or two stories WRITES FROM: London, England. nothing more than to focus on her a month, and that is how I learned PRE-HOUSE SWAP: Around 10 years research—until she was called to to write while also fi nding my own ago, I had a couple of literary novels lead a gruesome case. voice and style. Second, I wrote published under a diff erent name. WRITES FROM: Th e Bay Area. PRE- the book I wanted to read. BIGGEST Aft er my fi rst two books I took a CAGED: I’ve lived all over the world— CHALLENGE: Around 30,000 hiatus, partly because I had a baby in West Africa, London and the words into my fi rst draft , I lost my and partly because I wasn’t really jungles of Belize, running archaeol- momentum. I hated everything I sure what direction I should be ogy projects, investigating murders wrote and it felt like vomiting up moving in. I did write on and off , and searching for lost hikers with my cardboard. One of the most dif- and even wrote another couple of K-9 search-and-rescue unit. Before fi cult aspects of writing is hearing [unpublished] novels, but it wasn’t Caged, I completed one other novel that little voice in your head say- until I started on Th e House Swap and started [an undisclosed number ing, “this sucks,” and knowing how that I felt a sense of real purpose of] others. I also wrote and published to tell when it’s everyday imposter again. TIME FRAME: I wrote the fi rst quite a few short stories as I worked syndrome or genuinely prompt- draft in about six months. Aft er fi n- on my writing craft . TIME FRAME: ing you to take a step back and re- ishing the fi rst draft , I put it away I began Caged almost two years evaluate. ADVICE FOR WRITERS: Find for several months because I was before fi nding an agent, [even your own writing process and then unsure anyone would want to buy it. though] the actual writing time trust it to work for you. NEXT UP: ENTER THE AGENT: It was important was only about eight months. I’m working on the second book in that I found someone who would ENTER THE AGENT: My agent is the this three-book Sayer Altair series. genuinely appreciate and under- incomparable Amy Tannenbaum at WEBSITE: ellisoncooper.com. stand what I was trying to do with NICK GREGAN PHOTOGRAPHY the Jane Rotrosen Agency. I actu- the book. I queried my now-agent, ally cold-queried another agent Rebecca Fleet Caroline Wood of Felicity Bryan at Jane Rotrosen, and she liked The House Swap Associates, aft er seeing her reading

Caged enough to pass it along to (mystery, May, Pamela interests online. She read it very ; FLEET PHOTO © Amy. WHAT I DID RIGHT: First, when Dorman Books/Viking) quickly and I signed with her within MICHAEL SOO I started trying to write a novel, I Things take a turn when a week, then we spent the next three realized that I wasn’t a very good Caroline and her husband enter months editing and polishing the writer [yet]. I shift ed from trying into a holiday house swap with a book before she sent it out. WHAT I

to write a novel to writing short stranger they met on the internet. DID RIGHT: I didn’t lose faith that it COOPER PHOTO ©

20 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

20_wd0818_BreakingIn.indd 20 4/19/18 11:12 AM would happen for me someday, even Small successes with nonfi ction though sometimes it didn’t feel it pieces and articles built my con- CONTRACT CAUTION would. ADVICE FOR WRITERS: Don’t fi dence. TIME FRAME: [Th is] is my Wick explains how to distinguish sit around waiting for inspiration. If fourth full-length manuscript, and good publishing contracts from bad at bit.ly/WDBreakingIn. it happens, that’s great, but a lot of my longest. Once the planning the time you have to make yourself was complete—I wrote a long syn- write even if you don’t feel like it— opsis of eight pages that helped writing. She suggested—gently and or the book will never get written. me understand the story arc—it more than once—that I give it a shot. NEXT UP: I’m working on my next took me about three months of WHAT I DID RIGHT: I had a contract book, a psychological thriller. full-time summer focus to write. off er from a small publishing house ENTER THE AGENT: [My agent is] that I turned down because the Audrey Wick Barbara Collins Rosenberg of Th e terms were poor. I was glad I read Finding True Rosenberg Group. I cold-queried the contract carefully and had my North (women’s ﬁ ction, agents and sent requests to a few I agent’s voice of expertise. NEXT April, Tule Publishing) met at the Pacifi c Northwest Writers’ UP: Book Two in the Texas Sisters Paige Fredrick’s stars Association Conference. I had series, coming July 2018. WEBSITE: align for a second-chance romance, approximately 60 rejections [before audreywick.com. You can also fi nd but a white lie complicates her rela- signing with Rosenberg]. WHAT I me on Twitter and Instagram at tionship with love-interest Everett. LEARNED: I started writing young @WickWrites. WD JEFF WICK JEFF

WRITES FROM: La Grange, Texas. adult manuscripts, and while I love PRE-NORTH: My day job is as an the genre, my agent thought my voice Baihley Gentry is the associate editor of

WICK PHOTO © English professor at Blinn College. was better suited to women’s fi ction Writer’s Digest.

You’ve poured your heart and soul into your 0oohĺob|Ľvঞl;|or0Ѵbv_b|_-1olr-m that is as passionate about bringing your words |oѴb=;-vo-u;ĺ;bm]-11;r|;70|vhbu|v u;vv;mঞ|Ѵ;vo|oĻ • Keep all rights to your book Ŏ ;7b1-|;7ķr;uvom-Ѵ1v|ol;uvrrou| |_uo]_o||_;r0Ѵbv_bm]ruo1;vv Ŏ";|ouomu;|-bѴrub1;-m7 -|_ouuo-Ѵঞ;v Ŏ mfo|_;_b]_;v|ruoC| l-u]bmv-m_;u; Ŏolru;_;mvb;0ooh l-uh;ঞm]vrrou|

WritersDigest.com I 21

20_wd0818_BreakingIn.indd 21 4/24/18 8:38 AM 22_wd0818_Vaughan Feature.indd 22 4/19/18 12:08 PM Four veteran comedians share serious insight on what writers can glean from stand-up.

ou know, it’s hard work to write a book. I Glaser’s inspiration is more internally focused, stemming can’t tell you how many times I really get from a constant hunger to improve. “Th at stimulates my going on an idea, then my quill breaks. creativity and forces me to work better and harder,” she says. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.” “When I see a masterful joke writer like [stand-up] Dave Most people don’t think of stand-up Attell, who makes it look so easy, I think, OK, I gotta do that. comics as writers—at least not in the traditional sense. And that will make me buckle down a little bit more.” But as the above quote from Ellen DeGeneres illustrates, A comic since 1986, Kindler encourages writers to be a comedian’s creative process can indeed mimic that of prepared to jot down ideas whenever they may strike— a conventional scribe (only with more writing tunics). or risk losing them forever. Glaser has taken this advice Th e core building blocks of eff ective writing—structure, to heart, using her phone to note new joke ideas that word choice, rhythm, voice —are as vital to stand-up come to her on the fl y. Sometimes she’ll improvise a comics as they are to novelists and journalists. joke mid-routine, and must remind herself to go back To better understand what insight comics can off er and document it aft er the fact so she can remember it traditional writers, we reached out to veteran comedians the next time. “I fi nd that I do a lot of writing on stage,” Nikki Glaser, Andy Kindler, Laurie Kilmartin and Gary Glaser says. “Once you get comfortable performing, Gulman—and discovered there is much that written- you’re able to mess around a little more, and that’s where word storytellers can learn from top-tier jokesters. you can come up with some good material.” Kindler also advises avoiding editing while writing, but to fi rst focus just on getting the words down—then trying An incident, a word, a photograph—traditional writers to make the material better. “Th ose processes use diff erent can be inspired by anything that grabs their attention. parts of the brain,” he explains. “I try to get into the mode To spawn ideas, comics mine for jokes in much the where I’m riffi ng and anything goes, then later on, I’ll edit.” same way, studiously observing their world through an unblinking comedic eye. Consider Kilmartin, who writes for late-night host Conan O’Brien in addition to Word choice is of particular importance to stand-ups. In performing stand-up. Her act is fi lled with jokes about their world, an ill-chosen adjective or clunky phrase can life as a single mom—specifi cally, the struggles of raising be the diff erence between gut-busting laughter and pain- her son. “Jokes have to come to me, then I keep trying to ful silence. work at them,” Kilmartin observes. “Sometimes they take Kilmartin once had a bit about how she’d tell her years to get right, and sometimes they come out perfect young son that each new boyfriend was actually his uncle,

COMEDY FEATURE ILLUSTRATIONS © GETTY IMAGES © GETTY IMAGES ILLUSTRATIONS COMEDY FEATURE the fi rst time. Th ere is no rule.” and when the boyfriend left , she’d then say the “uncle”

WritersDigest.com I 23

22_wd0818_Vaughan Feature.indd 23 4/19/18 12:09 PM Nikki Glaser Andy Kindler Laurie Kilmartin Gary Gulman

had died. But if that boyfriend returned, she’d tell him For Glaser, the audience frequently plays the role of the uncle “came back”—or was resurrected, like Jesus. beta reader, in that their reaction tells her when a joke Th e joke drew a lot of laughs—until suddenly it didn’t. needs work. She tends to experiment with the compo- Perplexed, Kilmartin realized she’d inadvertently changed sition of her jokes so that her audiences don’t become the punchline to “Duane is back.” Says Kilmartin: “My complacent. “Th e basic structure used to be setup/ brain thought the words were interchangeable, because punchline,” she says. “I like to jump around a little bit I’m describing a person who has returned. But to invoke a so the audience doesn’t predict what is supposed to be resurrection, it had to be he came back, as in ‘Jesus came unpredictable and comedic. I’ll fi gure out diff erent ways back.’ Once I realized that, the joke worked again. Th at to structure jokes so that some sound more like stories; one verb made all the diff erence.” some sound like I’m being sincere for a moment, then all Kindler had a similar experience with a one-liner of a sudden I’m not; and some sound more conventional.” about Lee Harvey Oswald. Th e original joke was that Th e value of concision is another important lesson to Kennedy’s killer “had to call himself Lee Harvey Oswald be gleaned from the comedian’s repertoire. By its very because there was already a Lee Oswald in the Assassins nature, stand-up must be fast-paced to keep crowds Union.” Kindler found that the joke worked much better engaged, which means that many comics strive to get to when he changed “Assassins Union” to “Murderers Guild.” the punchline as quickly as possible. “I tried it before an audience both ways, many times,” he Gulman acknowledges that while brevity may be the notes. “Murderers Guild always got more laughs.” soul of wit, sometimes a maximalist approach, as illus- Veteran comic Gulman is meticulous in his approach, trated by the works of David Foster Wallace, also has its tweaking words and phrases until he’s satisfi ed a joke is at place. Longer comedy routines, just like longer works of its strongest. “Mark Twain once said that the diff erence literature, require a stronger structure. Gulman’s bits oft en between the right word and the almost-right word is the include side observations and brief tangents, which he diff erence between lightning and a lightning bug,” he carefully choreographs into his material. One of his most says. “I would go over jokes and ask myself, Is there a better popular routines, about a committee established to create way—a more precise way—to say that with a funnier word? two-letter abbreviations for each of the 50 states, started I’m always looking for ways to improve and tighten.” small and grew larger (and funnier) when he decided to Gulman’s aff ection for nuances of the English lan- introduce the premise as if it had come from a documen- guage oft en results in unexpected wordplay, such as in tary he saw on television. “Th at gave the joke the structure this bit where he employs an antiquated term in a sur- it needed to make sense as a real thing and not just some prising way for comedic eff ect: “Th ey assembled a ragtag clever observations,” Gulman explains. “It made it a narra- MINDY TUCKER MINDY TUCKER outfi t of rogues, misfi ts and ne’re-do-wells. How oft en do tive. … Th e axiom that writing is rewriting is so true.” well? Ne’re! Th ey ne’re did well!”

Most stand-up comics are passionate fans of the art form, Seeking perfection, stand-up comics spend as much time and readily acknowledge those who inspired them to PHOTO © KILMARTIN revising as any dedicated novelist. Building a comedy enter the profession. In many cases, it was the excep- BRUCE SMITH; act is a constant work-in-progress, in which adjustments tional writing skills of previous generations of comics added to a joke can end up accidentally taking away what that made them want to give stand-up a try. made it work in earlier versions. “Th ere’s almost a sculpting Glaser, who performed for the fi rst time in 2003,

nature to it,” Gulman says. evokes a list of comedy legends as her early inspirations, KINDLER PHOTO ©

24 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

22_wd0818_Vaughan Feature.indd 24 4/19/18 12:09 PM including Sarah Silverman, Wendy Liebman and Jim Gaffi gan. “Th e greatest lesson I’ve learned from others is specifi city,” Glaser says. “Another is the element of surprise—having a sentence or word that the audience doesn’t see coming. Th at’s my favorite type of laugh: When people are off ended but they laugh anyway because they were so surprised by it.” Kilmartin credits “Saturday Night Live” alum Dana Carvey and humorist David Sedaris as early comedic infl uences. But surprisingly, when it comes to writing, she admires the bleak fi ction of Cormac McCarthy. “I don’t write like McCarthy at all,” she admits, “although his style is really sparse, which I appreciate as a comic.” Early in his career, Gulman was mentored by veteran comic Paul Nardizzi, who advised him to “write in circles”—meaning take a joke that already works and make it better and longer. “Th at was something I took to 1. Find inspiration by observing your world heart,” Gulman says. “It’s literally an obsession, because through a well-honed writer’s eye. Good I dwell and I ruminate. [For example] it defi nitely made ideas are everywhere, but you must be my routine about the abbreviators better.” ready to receive them. When Gulman heard Hunter S. Th ompson once tran- 2. Exceed your limitations by striving to scribed Th e Great Gatsby just so he could experience what be as good as your favorite writer. Don’t it felt like to write a masterpiece, he started doing the same settle for anything less. thing with jokes by Brian Regan, Steven Wright and other successful comics. “I would write down their jokes word 3. Write fi rst, polish second. It’s vital that for word, just to see what a good joke looked like on paper,” you put words on paper before even he says. “I think [it’s] a helpful exercise for all writers.” thinking of editing. Th ough they make their living telling jokes, almost every comic interviewed for this article said they con- 4. Word choice can either turn a good story sidered themselves a writer fi rst and a performer second. into a work of art or thrust it into medi- For every hour in the spotlight, many more hours went ocrity. Make sure every word used is the into craft ing and revising their material. best word. Play around with vocabulary “Inspiration is great, but sometimes you have to tell to surprise and enlighten readers. yourself, I’m a writer, and this is the process and some- 5. A work is seldom perfect in its fi rst draft . times it’s going to be diffi cult,” observes Kindler, whose list Revise again and again—every story has of favorite authors includes Ernest Hemingway, Daniel room for improvement. Clowes and Harvey Pekar. “Learning to write is something that has taken me my whole life to fi gure out—but 6. Th e nature of a piece oft en dictates its I still fi nd it interesting and exciting.” WD structure, but don’t be afraid to experiment with diff erent approaches to keep Don Vaughan (donaldvaughan.com) is a freelance writer in Raleigh, readers interested and involved. N.C., and founder of Triangle Association of Freelancers. 7. Allow humor to arise naturally. Every line doesn’t need to leave the audience LAUGH-IN in stitches. Find hilarious video clips of our featured comedians performing stand-up at writersdigest.com/aug-18.

WritersDigest.com I 25

22_wd0818_Vaughan Feature.indd 25 4/19/18 12:09 PM From jester to jackass, comedic characters can lend a story some much-needed levity. Find out which classic type best suits your ﬁ ction—no matter the genre.

was 1975, and I was a nervous freshman I hadn’t meant my answer to be funny, but it must’ve unpacking a Samsonite in my university triggered some humor receptor in her brain. I have a dorm room when a voice behind me said, feeling she’d been interviewing other girls, who probably “Hey.” Standing in the doorway was the sought her approval by asserting that they were, yes, sure, darkly beautiful girl who was already estab- “hip.” So my answer probably contrasted with theirs, and lishing herself as the fl oor’s alpha. She looked at me with that’s what seemed funny. Th is young creature was trying a stern expression and demanded, “Are you hip?” to build a story for herself, in which she was the head Unsure what the hell she meant, I thought a moment, of a sort of aristocratic court, right there in the midst of then responded, “I wouldn’t think that’s for me to say.” everybody’s textbooks and popcorn poppers and Cosmo She looked stunned, then burst into laughter. “You are issues. I’d learned long ago that being funny can be an a character!” she cried. “Th at was deadpan! You will be asset, and this encounter got me thinking for the fi rst my jester!” time about the power of a type.

26 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

26_wd0818_Sims Feature.indd 26 4/19/18 12:10 PM Not all authors employ humor, but many use it to HOW TO DO IT: brighten stories, give readers an emotional escape and add • Give your jester a low place in the socioeconomic peck- a layer of fun. Comedy can fi t into suspense, romance, lit- ing order. Th is sets the character apart: When he subtly erary, fantasy, horror—you name the genre. Why? Because speaks truth, your audience will be surprised—and a little it’s like real life. We’ve all experienced countless humorous apprehensive. If your jester doesn’t have much in terms of moments, even amid sadness—like the one time I attended status or resources, he doesn’t have much to lose. a burial where the backhoe fell into the grave. • Make your jester a character of some complexity. Plain Th ere are many ways to write funny moments. You silliness falls fl at here. Feigned ignorance, however, can can put wisecracks into the mouth of your detective or work, as when a jester pretends not to understand some- write action sequences where a little kid puts a peanut thing while making a sly point. Whether you show much of on the train tracks and changes the course of history. But it or not, your jester does have an inner life. He goes home long-haul comedy—that is, comedy that can develop and to his family, makes love to his wife, gets angry at the TV. sustain a story—starts with characters. Th e comic char- Your jester might resent his role and strive to change it, or acter is unique in that he or she can be counted on to he might relish his role and strive to make the most of it. deliver humor and truth together. • Show other characters learning from the jester. Th e Just as comedy itself tends to fall into types—slapstick, school custodian is oft en hilariously clumsy, but the kids dark humor, farce, satire, irony and so on—so too do trust her with their secrets because she never tells, and comic characters. Types are a handy way to understand always gives the best advice. comedic characters—and to consciously create them. You’ll notice a pattern emerging: A key to successful I’m not talking about stereotypes, which most readers comic characters is contrast. Th at’s why pairs of charac- recognize as clichéd, unimaginative or even off ensive. ters can work so well. Th e types discussed here are classics. Th ey’re useful because they allow fl exibility in a story, and because readers and writers alike recognize them as old friends. Neil Simon coined the term with his hit play, and now Now, let’s break down these entertaining breeds and “the odd couple” is part of our lexicon. Opportunities see how to use them. for comedy abound when characters who are thrown together by circumstance are literally “at odds.” It’s confl ict at its best! It was no coincidence that my dorm-mate dubbed me jester, Th ousands of successful romance novels begin with the as it’s arguably the earliest form of the comic character. two main characters at each other’s throats. “Th is’ll never In medieval and renaissance times, royal courts work out!” the reader thinks. Yet somehow, through mis- employed entertainers to tell jokes, sing and dance. Some understandings, schemes that go awry and general mishaps, of these jesters also became confi dants of—and advisors the pair winds up happily engaged. A particularly useful to—the monarch, fi nding a way to speak truth to power example is the push-pull dyad of Elizabeth Bennet and under the safety shield of jest. Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Austen is Shakespeare made liberal use of jesters, also known famous for her dry wit, and this seemingly mismatched as fools, in his plays both comic and tragic. Puck, in A pair furnishes some lovely passages of ironic humor, as dur- Midsummer Night’s Dream, sprinkles his love potion on ing their passive-aggressive jousting at the Netherfi eld ball. the wrong handsome sleeping dude, thus pivoting the plot Th is sort of trouble can be entertaining, but for in a way both humorous and disastrous. Th e Fool in King maximum success, you need movement either in plot, Lear explains things with biting, rueful wit and provides character development, or both. For instance, at the end a voice of reason from which Lear can still learn, even of Simon’s play, although the well-adjusted slob Oscar has though he’s made a mess of things. fi nally gotten fed up with the neurotic neat-freak Felix, he Randle P. McMurphy in Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the realizes that Felix has had a positive eff ect on him. Cuckoo’s Nest is a more modern jester. He swaggers into the asylum and fl ings around his brand of street-criminal HOW TO DO IT: wit and wisdom—eff ecting change, comedy and tragedy all • Make the diff erences between your odd couple super in one story. distinct. Th e gullible one is shockingly credulous, the

WritersDigest.com I 27

26_wd0818_Sims Feature.indd 27 4/24/18 8:39 AM cynical one is hard as granite. Pair a career criminal be hurt as collateral damage—or may decide to intervene, assigned to carry out a complicated burglary with a without the slightest idea what they’re getting into. complete greenhorn. Create a young searcher who falls in love with an arthritic, elderly sage. • Give them good reason to stick with the relationship Charles Dickens was a shrewd observer of human nature. for a while. Inmates sharing a prison cell is an easy one. Although we may be greedy/narcissistic/lecherous at Or perhaps: a business relationship, the only two empty heart, we try not to appear that way. We lie to ourselves. seats on a train through Siberia, a space capsule, a politi- Such rich material for comedy! cal marriage, a Little League dugout. Among my favorite self-important jackasses is Mrs. • Let them grow in the relationship. If their horns are Jellyby in Dickens’ masterwork Bleak House. For the per- forever locked, that’s going to get boring quick. Because ceptive reader, she is a light of joy in the heavy, litigious readers can identify with one character or the other, battle of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce. Mrs. Jellyby is a mother of they’ll be hungry to learn how the couple fi gures things uncountable children who live with her in fi lthy, pitiable out—and what’s in store next. poverty, while she spends her every waking hour working tirelessly (and loft ily) to bring modern agricultural and economic practices to the people of Africa—who are, she Folie à deux is a legit psychiatric disorder in which two or believes, living in fi lthy, pitiable poverty. Beyond provid- more people share the same (usually harmful) delusions ing comic relief and some plot movement, Mrs. Jellyby and take the same (usually harmful) actions. We’re using serves to advance the themes of hypocrisy and misguided the term informally here to describe a dysfunctional charity, which so irked Dickens. relationship. A synonym might be codependency. In some Other excellent examples of the self-important jackass stories, there’s nothing funny about it—but in others, it’s are the Sunday school superintendent in Mark Twain’s hilarious. In Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S. Th e Adventures of Tom Sawyer and the unforgettable, Th ompson’s roman à clef, the protagonist Raoul Duke and disdainful Ignatius J. Reilly in John Kennedy Toole’s A his attorney Dr. Gonzo, rip through the landscape under Confederacy of Dunces. the infl uence of powerful psychedelics, choosing the most extreme option in every situation. As they shock the HOW TO DO IT: squares and narrowly avoid getting busted by the cops, • Place the character in a position of authority—but not the reader goes along for the laugh-out-loud ride. too high. It’s funnier when somebody gets all pompous On the darker side, the most imperishable example about being king of the dunghill—or the hotdog cart. of folie à deux is the toxic couple George and Martha • Give them a blind spot that is visible only when they in Edward Albee’s play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? look in the mirror. Characters who can’t see themselves George and Martha are two scorpions in a jar, with tre- objectively are particularly valuable for humor. mendous intelligence and rage fueling their viciously • Let them chew the scenery. Self-important characters funny warfare. love to control their environments, and they love to infl ict their will on the less powerful. HOW TO DO IT: • Grant your pair a history, such as George and Martha’s long, acrimonious marriage, or Duke and Gonzo’s exten- Humorous, pure-hearted characters fall into subgroups: sive experience with psychoactive substances. THE VILLAGE IDIOT, who possesses a below-average I.Q. • Give them something to focus on. You can use old and is possibly even mentally ill or developmentally grudges, repeated errors of judgment, unmet expecta- disabled, such as the watchful Potty Peakes in Dorothy L. tions or psychological wounds that are simply too Sayers’s Th e Nine Tailors, or the charming Forrest Gump precious to let heal. in Winston Groom’s novel by the same title. • Stir in selfi shness. Th ey’re going to do what they’re going THE BUMPKIN, who is simply ignorant and perhaps to do, and the fallout can be extreme. Other characters can misinformed, such as Huck Finn in Twain’s novels,

28 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

26_wd0818_Sims Feature.indd 28 4/24/18 8:39 AM or Dorothy Gale’s pals the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion from L. Frank Baum’s Th e Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Th ose characters embark on long journeys during which they learn important life lessons.

THE PURE NAÏF OR NAÏVE PERSON. J.D. Salinger explored this type in the callow yet bitingly sarcastic Holden Caulfi eld in Th e Catcher in the Rye, and Louisa May Alcott threw in an oft en-comical naïf in the character of Amy in Little Women. • Pick a distinct characteristic. It can be All are valuable because they’re unencumbered by too practically anything, such as: much book-learning, the strictures of maturity or the many self-repressions brought on by social conventions. Th e — inclination to quit at the slightest obstacle innocent can perceive the truth—real or metaphorical— — self-dramatization and be amusing doing it. (We’ve all witnessed a small child making the obvious, frank observation the grown-ups are — habitual overreacting too delicate to acknowledge.) Readers can also have fun — never shuts up watching the innocent try on diff erent, worldlier personas. — fear of strangers, cupcakes, asteroids, etc. HOW TO DO IT: — loyal to a fault • Make them nice. Admittedly, some of the examples above are less likable than others, but the character must — expert on some subject. not be malevolent. Label this character: Th e Quitter. Th e Drama Let your other characters grow from knowing the • • Queen. Th e Overreactor. Th is is just to fi rm innocent. Set up scenes where the innocent melts a heart, up the character in your own mind as you go. shows up a phony or destroys a harmful illusion. • Consider this powerful technique: Have two innocents • Freewrite on how this characteristic can meet up and join forces. Double possibilities, double fun! be radically exaggerated, then make a list of ideas for scenes of confl ict surrounding Th e examples I’ve discussed include major characters, the character. Let “Yes, and—” and “What minor characters, protagonists, antagonists—the whole if?” guide you. Are the scenes funny or palette. Th ere’s really no rule on which type of character ironic? Why or why not? Play around and works best for a particular profi le. Similarly, one cannot see what emerges. pronounce any of these types better (or worse) for a certain genre than another. A self-important jackass, • Remember the importance of contrasting for instance, can work to great eff ect in a literary story, this character with other (more normal) a paranormal, a traditional romance and so on. characters. Make a list of how others could So, how to select and make these types your own? Let be aff ected, and how they might react. Th eir your imagination guide you. Oft en stories simply give reactions can be funny in themselves! birth to a funny character—something comes to you, and aft er toying with the character you realize they’re • Go forth and do some writing on this going to give you that levity, that spark you’re looking for. character. Make friends, spend some time Art is mysterious, aft er all. Th at said, I’m all about inten- together. Tinker as you go. tionality. Do just as these famous authors did: Zero in on a type that appeals to you, given your story requirements, then bring your own cracked sensibilities into play when it comes to specifi cs. WD

Elizabeth Sims writes mystery and suspense novels with dry-witted narrators and comic sidekicks. She’s a contributing editor to WD and blogs at Zestful Writing (esimsauthor.blogspot.com).

WritersDigest.com I 29

26_wd0818_Sims Feature.indd 29 4/24/18 8:39 AM Given the award-winning power of shows like “Last Week Tonight” and “SNL,” it’s clear satire is as relevant today as it was for Chaplin and Chaucer. Here, the co-founder of The Onion shares how you, too, can add layers of meaning with humor.

hat’s the secret to making readers What was this covert kung fu I discovered, which pro- laugh using only the written word? fessional and award-winning funny writers employ with You can’t gesticulate. Can’t act ease, yet that eludes so many comedy-writing hopefuls? out the story with funny voices or You might think it’s the hilarious situations they come expressions. What’s worse, you can’t up with. And you would be partly right. Perhaps it’s control timing—and timing is key in comedy. In prose, the colorful personality of the writer, you say. When an readers will read however fast or slow they want. Maybe inherently amusing charisma shines through, readers even skip around. You can’t play a funny pratfall video or relate to the work on a personal level. use wacky sound eff ects. It may seem you have no tools If you’re thinking along these lines, you’re getting at your disposal. Just a block of copy on a page. closer to cracking the code: To become a true master, Let the hilarity ensue, right? you need to know the tricks of not just writing humor, As the longest-serving editor-in-chief of Th e Onion, but satire—the most diffi cult and sophisticated, yet this is a challenge I faced every day for more than 15 accessible, humor subgenre. years. Th e truth is, writing funny prose that makes people Satire is so accessible, it never gets stale. It ages like a bust up laughing is daunting, it’s nerve-wracking and fi ne French cheese. Classrooms still study Mark Twain. oft en it’s downright painful. Studios continue to make blockbuster movies with Th at pain pushed me to drastic measures. During my Jack Black out of a 1726 Jonathan Swift novel. Voltaire’s tenure, I eventually decoded the process for craft ing Candide is, to this day, an internationally touring opera. words that made people laugh—a system I developed And in 2015, Spike Lee adapted a comedy based on a and enforced. Soon, the writers at Th e Onion joined the play by Aristophanes—a satirist who died some 2,500 ranks of the small handful of humor professionals able to years ago. Other humor forms don’t mature nearly as defy the odds and consistently crank out hilarious writing well. Remember your favorite vaudeville show? What year aft er year, as if on cue. about those uproarious minstrels?

30 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

30_wd0818_Dikkers Feature.indd 30 4/19/18 12:11 PM If you want your writing to last forever—and get big critics and taste-makers. It’s a peanut-butter-and- laughs today—satire is the way to do it. chocolate combination eff ective across all media. Th e actual defi nition: Satire is any kind of humor (wordplay, jokes, songs, stories, plays, movies—you If you ask just about anyone under 40, they’re likely to name it) that has astute subtext. Th is subtext points out tell you satire is fake news—jokes about politics or cur- an injustice, a wrong or a failing in the human condition— rent events. But it’s merely an accident of history that so one that’s universally relatable or that we all can learn many people harbor this false impression. from. Th at means the literal words of satire don’t tell the Let me take you back. It was 1988, and a group of whole story. Th ey’re merely the vehicle. Subtext is the penniless college dropouts (including yours truly) had secret message hidden underneath the jokes. Th e subtext the crazy, romantic idea to start a humor publication of George Orwell’s classic Animal Farm, for example, in Madison, Wisconsin. But when we approached printing is that power corrupts. Th e subtext of the 1933 Marx

companies to get bids on what a Brothers movie, Duck Soup, is that human governments glossy, full-color monthly magazine are hopeless to control the world. would cost to produce, the number came Th ere’s a method for how satirists turn serious subtext back at something around $5,000 per issue—an impossible into hilarious humor. Th e steps are simple enough—but fi gure for our budget. We asked, “What’s the cheapest paper mastering them takes practice. stock we could print on?” Th e answer: newsprint. News-based satire certainly existed before then, but it was Th e Onion that infused it into pop culture. Our writers branched out, helping Jon Stewart shape “Th e Daily Show” Do you have opinions? On anything—what’s wrong and Stephen Colbert create “Th e Colbert Report.” with the world, with humanity, with the outlandish For a generation, news parody became, by far, the price of fresh-pressed juices? most popular and easily accessible vehicle through which Write down all of them, no matter how dark or American audiences enjoyed satire. Parody, merely one depressing you think they are. Keep them simple and of many satirical techniques, is a method through which irreducible: “money corrupts,” “getting divorced is better the writer mocks another form or specifi c work through than being in love,” “humans are born racists”—whatever mimicry. With the notable exception of “Th e Simpsons” position you hold. and a handful of popular satirical stand-up comics like Strong, passionate opinions are essential for good George Carlin, fake news provided the bulk of daily satire satire, as they will become the subtext of your writing. in our lives. Th ese opinions won’t necessarily be funny, and that’s OK. Like the satire of the millennia that preceded it, Th e Your jokes need to be funny, not your opinions. Jokes are Onion and its news-parody descendants appeal to both the delivery mechanism you’ll use to communicate the highbrow audiences (who pick up on the subtext) and subtext to your readers. Subtext itself should be implied, lowbrow audiences (who like the bawdy swears and a connotation never stated overtly. madcap). Th is is not art—this is business. Lowbrow Next, you need to fi lter your subtext through one humor fi lls the seats. Highbrow humor impresses the of these 11 “Funny Filters”—tried-and-true devices

WritersDigest.com I 31

30_wd0818_Dikkers Feature.indd 31 4/19/18 12:11 PM designed to comedically enhance your original opinion. might be shared with others. When the writer reveals the Th ere are no guarantees, of course. Writing humor is like shared experience, it makes the reader laugh. playing baseball; your highest hope is a good batting EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: It’s almost impossible to open average, and nobody bats a thousand. What you get when modern consumer products that are encased in you run an opinion through the Funny Filter meat grinder excessive plastic packaging. is a single-line joke. Th ese jokes are best served as concepts, headlines or titles for short humor pieces. It’s important EXAMPLE CONCEPT: A Season 7 episode of Curb Your that such short pieces always have a title that explains the Enthusiasm is bookended by Larry David’s struggle concept and makes people laugh, as that’s how you both to open two different products protected by hard- communicate the genre and compel audiences to read plastic packaging. your work. Th e 11 Funny Filters are as follows: Swearing, gross-outs, sex, violence or Stating the opposite of your subtext. It’s anything that would be inappropriate to mention diff erent than sarcasm, which is a kind of low-rent in mixed company. Th is Funny Filter should sound very irony. Irony occurs when you buy into the polar opposite familiar—however, many writers fail to use it eff ectively. of your opinion and espouse it with a straight face. Amateur writers tend to be seduced by its power and overindulge. Th e pros, on the other hand, know shock is EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Dogs are stupid, subservient best used sparingly, and always with strong subtext. creatures. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: United States foreign policy kills EXAMPLE CONCEPT: Genius dog proves his kind have helpless children. been playing humans like a violin for eons. (See Kurt Vonnegut’s short story, “Tom Edison’s Shaggy Dog.”) EXAMPLE CONCEPT: Michael O’Donoghue’s infamous “Vietnamese Baby Book” from National Creating comedic personas Lampoon magazine. or reducing dramatic characters to simple, two- dimensional archetypes and then showing them acting Otherwise known as on their simple, well-defi ned traits. Th is fi lter works well exaggeration. But to produce laugh-out-loud if your subtext has to do with a person—real or invented. comedy, subtext must be exaggerated to grandiose, impossible extremes. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: The U.S. treasury secretary loves money more than people. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: The U.S. was too kind to Japan after WWII. EXAMPLE CONCEPT: “Treasury Secretary Accused of Sexually Harassing Stack of $100 Bills.” (from EXAMPLE CONCEPT: The plot of Leonard Wibberley’s Blaffo.com) novel The Mouse That Roared portrays the “world’s smallest country,” Duchy of Grand Fenwick, declaring Another way to utilize character is by speaking war on the U.S. so that once overrun, it can receive through an aff ected voice. Satirists oft en write from free help rebuilding its economy and infrastructure. behind the facade of a made-up persona or fi ctional character. Mark Twain wrote Adventures of Huckleberry Aping a format, publication, TV Finn in Huck’s voice. Th e Onion writes in the voice of show, etc.—using it as a platform for satire. strict Associated Press–style news organizations. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Women’s magazines are craven attempts by advertisers to make women feel insecure. Recalling something relatable from the reader’s experience. Th is kind of observa- EXAMPLE CONCEPT: The parody site Reductress, tional humor is most eff ective when the reader has never which has headlines like “5 Mud Masks That Will consciously considered that some day-to-day experience Make You Feel Like a Luxurious Little Farm Pig.”

32 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

30_wd0818_Dikkers Feature.indd 32 4/24/18 8:40 AM Eff ective examples of which include puns, word repetition and word-switches. Th e AMERICAN PSYCHOS Dikkers discusses how to fi nd the compass for satire when pitfall of wordplay is that it’s oft en employed simply for the times seem dark at writersdigest.com/aug-18. sake of cleverness. Th is results in groaners—the kind of jokes in kids books or on Laff y Taff y wrappers. Yet when instead focusing intently on something else—usually used in service of good subtext, wordplay can be powerful. something trivial or wrong-headed by comparison—the EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: One of the dangers of fascism subtext becomes clear. is that it destroys the concept of the individual, and EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Society doesn’t care that poor thus the less powerful. kids are starving and dying. EXAMPLE CONCEPT: Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a EXAMPLE CONCEPT: Jonathan Swift’s 1729 essay “A Who, which uses rhyme and made-up words to Modest Proposal For Preventing the Children of eloquently express this complicated subtext in a Poor People From Being a Burden to Their Parents way that even children can understand and fi nd or Country, and For Making Them Benefi cial to the immensely entertaining. Public,” which doesn’t dwell on starving children, but instead focuses laser-like on an inane solution to the Finding similarities between two problem: eating the children. disparate things. It helps to add irony, so the contrast between the subjects of comparison is heightened. One Using humor to make thing is mentioned overtly, the other thing is hidden yet fun of other humor, to make fun of the concept alluded to using “mapped” words and phrases. A room of humor, or to deconstruct humor. It can be done in shared by siblings can be analogized with the Earth shared myriad ways, from laughing at a joke that bombs, to by countries. Th us every time a word or phrase like questioning the value of human laughter itself. “borders,” “border security” or “sovereignty” is applied (or “mapped”) onto the bedroom scenario, a joke is created. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Political satire doesn’t result in political change. EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Americans don’t care how nutritionally vacant fast food is. EXAMPLE CONCEPT: The McSweeney’s Internet Tendency article “This Is The Political Satire That EXAMPLE CONCEPT: The Onion’s “Man Eating Finally Stops Trump.” McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald’s Switched Up Antibiotics.” The overt half of the analogy is an So there you have it. Sure, you could try other techniques, everyman customer at McDonald’s. The hidden half like discordance, embarrassment, understatement or the (using mapped phrases) is a highfalutin food critic. ol’ switcheroo (where two parts of a common phrase are swapped)—but be warned: Th ose literary devices Th e literary equivalent of aren’t going to reliably produce the kind of hardy laughs physical humor, madcap encompasses everything demanded by satire. Only via these 11 Funny Filters— wacky—non-sequiturs and silly, nonsensical humor, like coupled with astute subtext—does your humor have the talking geese with funny hats. chance to hit high, satirical notes. Of course, there’s more nuance to how these Funny EXAMPLE SUBTEXT: Government bureaucrats spend money on nonsense. Filters can be used. Th e more of them you layer on top of an idea, the better it’s going to connect with readers. EXAMPLE CONCEPT: The Monty Python skit “The Combining them in unexpected ways will broaden the Ministry of Silly Walks.” appeal of your humor writing—as long as you make sure your core concept remains simple. WD Th is happens when the writer intentionally focuses on Scott Dikkers (scottdikkers.com) is a comedy writer, speaker and the wrong thing, and in so doing compels the reader to co-founder of The Onion. Expanded guides for using the Funny Filters, and more humor writing tips, can be found in his book How focus on the right thing: the subtext. Th e writer thus cre- to Write Funny, and in the follow-up How to Write Funnier, he ates an elephant in the room. By not mentioning it, and explains how to expand jokes into longer satirical pieces.

WritersDigest.com I 33

30_wd0818_Dikkers Feature.indd 33 4/19/18 12:11 PM times, the human animal is a fair bit silly. At other times, we’re nothing short of ridiculous. Consider how much eff ort we exert to hide our fl aws and failings— more eff ort, at times, than it would probably take to correct them. We regularly tell ourselves convenient lies—I’ll start my diet right aft er I fi nish this left over birthday cake—and, inexplicably, we believe them. We pretend to be in full control of basic human traits like hunger, lust and insecurity, while all too oft en they threaten to spin us out of control. Th e more we manage to seem perfect on the outside—think of how devotedly preachers and politicians burnish their shiny exteriors— the bigger rascals and hypocrites we turn out to be. Shakespeare knew this. As did Charles Dickens, Oscar Wilde and Jane Austen. Novelists and playwrights have been paying the bills for centuries by shining a harsh and humorous light on the duplicity and absurdity of the high, the mighty and the mighty-conceited. Skewering fi ctional phonies is one thing; writing about ourselves is another entirely. Knowing this, where then can memoirists and essayists fi nd fodder for jolly comedy? Well, have you looked in the mirror lately? I fi nd it hard to imagine a personal essay or memoir that doesn’t include some smidgen of humor, because I have yet to meet a fellow human being who is not, at some level, comical. Even the dour and deadly serious among us have their foolish sides. For example, St. Augustine of Hippo, an exceedingly devout man and father of the memoir form, professed to believe that “original sin” was transmitted through … how do I say Truth may be stranger than ﬁ ction, but this delicately? Male emissions. Now that is a bit odd. Michel de Montaigne, founder of what we now call it can also be funnier. Employ these the personal essay, was followed throughout his child- 6 techniques in memoir and personal hood by a zither player (think Monty Python and essay to cue readers’ chuckles. the Holy Grail’s “brave” Sir Robin), hired by young Montaigne’s father to ensure the boy never grew bored. Even if that image doesn’t make you snicker, the word “zither” should. I could go on, noting how 19th-century essayist William Hazlitt was so socially awkward that his friend Samuel Taylor Coleridge once described him as “brow hanging, shoe contemplative, strange.” Or I could mention

34 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

34_wd0818_Moore Feature.indd 34 4/24/18 8:40 AM

a youthful Dorothy Parker’s dogged insistence on refer- and rarely funny. Self-deprecation, on the other hand, ring to her stepmother as “the housekeeper.” can serve you well. Humans are inherently amusing. And that includes Robert Benchley penned more than 600 humorous humans who write. essays, most of them for Th e New Yorker, that were later So, why hide your preposterous side? Humor is good compiled into 12 hilarious collections. He was a brilliant, for the soul, but it will also keep your reader awake and erudite and well-read man, but spent most of his time on happy. Try it yourself—listed below are six proven and the page insisting on his own stupidity. dependable techniques for examining your own life Consider this opening sentence: “I have decided to events through a comical lens. start my own fi ve-year plan: All that is necessary is for me to fi nd out just what a fi ve-year plan is.” TECHNIQUE #1: Or: “A great many people have come up to me and asked me how I manage to get so much work done and Let go of the idea that you are the hero of the story, or still keep looking so dissipated. My answer is ‘Don’t that your many hidden defects are nobody’s business but you wish you knew?’ and a pretty good answer it is, too, your own. Instead, make them everyone’s business. when you consider that nine times out of 10 I didn’t hear Humorist David Sedaris allows us to laugh at ourselves the original question.” because he laughs at himself fi rst, and unfl inchingly. In And, of course, my all-time favorite: “It took me his essay “Naked,” Sedaris recounts an argument that 15 years to discover that I had no talent for writing, ended with his partner, Hugh, shouting, “You’re a big, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was fat, hairy pig!” too famous.” Most of us would be reluctant to share such an intimate moment, but Sedaris owns it: “Well, I thought, pigs TECHNIQUE #3: provide us with bacon and watchbands, and that’s saying something. … Being a pig isn’t so bad. I wiped a driblet of In the title essay of her collection I Feel Bad About My snot from the tip of my snout and lay there feeling sorry Neck, Nora Ephron speaks regretfully about the pouches, for myself.” jowls, wrinkles and ripples of fl ab she has accumulated in late middle age. Recalling a recent lunch with her TECHNIQUE #2: female friends, she notes her surprise upon the realiza- tion that they were all wearing turtleneck sweaters. Why turtlenecks? Most of us are taught to put on our best face for the “Oh, the necks. Th ere are chicken necks. Th ere are world, to convince others of how brilliant we are. “If you turkey gobbler necks. Th ere are elephant necks. Th ere don’t know something,” my mother instructed me from are necks with wattles and necks with creases that are on a very young age, “just fake it.” Th at likely explains why the verge of becoming wattles. Th ere are scrawny necks I ended up a college professor. But where writing is con- and fat necks, loose necks, crepey necks, banded necks, cerned, being a know-it-all is only occasionally endearing, wrinkled necks, stringy necks, saggy necks, fl abby necks,

WritersDigest.com I 35

34_wd0818_Moore Feature.indd 35 4/19/18 12:12 PM mottled necks. Th ere are necks that are an amazing com- quote from it at length without having to pay infl ated bination of all of the above.” permission fees. Ephron doesn’t mince words. A few years back I needed to undergo sinus surgery We are taught that the polite way to go through for reasons having to do with allergies, infections and an life is to never mention such things, but as George endless stream of goop running out my nostrils. It was so Saunders once pointed out, “Humor is what happens gross, I just had to write about it. when we’re told the truth quicker and more directly First, though, I needed to be medically cleared for than we’re used to.” the operation. Because I am in advanced middle age, TECHNIQUE #4: I have many doctors; we humans accumulate them like barnacles attached to an aging frigate. None of my many doctors, of course, could fi gure out how to Speaking of Saunders, when asked to deliver the con- share information with any of my other many doctors, vocation speech for graduating seniors at Syracuse including doctors whose offi ces are one fl oor apart in University in 2013, he anticipated exactly what the more the same medical complex. ‘I can just walk it down,’ cynical readers (or in this case, listeners) might have on I would say, but they had protocols, and costly com- their minds. puter systems that couldn’t talk to one another, or do “Down through the ages,” he told the assembled crowd anything really, except billing. of restless students, “a traditional form has evolved for The billing always worked. this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who, over the course of his life, has made I got away with that because we all, for good reason, a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives hate the illogical, inhospitable hospital run-around, and heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young the endless paperwork involved. people, with all of their best years ahead of them (that Choose your targets wisely. would be you)—and I intend to respect that tradition.” Never underestimate the power of jumping out ahead TECHNIQUE #6: of your audience—locating exactly what your detractors or the skeptics in the audience might be thinking, and My piece on sinus surgery, as preposterous a subject as disarming them before they have the chance to strike. that may seem, was published in a very nice magazine, Plus, it’s funny. has since been anthologized, and a few people even TECHNIQUE #5: claim to have read it and liked it. To be honest, though, it started out a failed eff ort, one of those “this happened to me and I love to talk about it, but why should you care?” Taking shots at yourself is laugh-worthy, but taking essays that goes nowhere. Just because a writer is com- cheap shots at other people is seldom going to win you pelled or amused by his own experience doesn’t mean admirers. Your doddering, elderly neighbor; the math- that a reader will be. challenged checkout clerk; the pudgy guy gasping for What saved the day for my nasal-adventure story air on the nearby treadmill—well, pun-intended, tread was research: My eff ort around draft three to learn scads lightly here. Even if readers see the humor, they’ll likely more about the surgery and about sinuses themselves. balk at the notion that the subjects of your lambasting What I discovered is that numerous hypotheses exist as have been given no chance to defend themselves. to why we even have these holes in our heads. Th e best formula is to make fun of yourself three times for every one time you poke fun at someone else. The make-our-heads-lighter-so-we-can-hold-them-erect Unless they’re lawyers, of course. notion has its staunch advocates, as does the shock- Or the folks responsible for our health care system. absorber-in-the-skull idea, but hands-down my favorite Let me show how this plays out in one of my own theory posits that we—you, me, Michael Phelps and essays, because: 1) I know my writing best, and 2) I can Sarah Palin alike—are descended from aquatic apes.

36 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

34_wd0818_Moore Feature.indd 36 4/19/18 12:12 PM The theory goes like this: A group of prehistoric primates, cleverer than most, noticed that river banks and sea shores produced much better food than did arid grasslands, so they descended from their tree- tops and acquired waterfront property. Over time, through the exquisite magic of evolu- tion, these apes evolved an upright stance, allowing Here’s another approach to take your brain them to stand in the water and freeing up their funny places: Replace it! Well, not literally— hands to crack shellﬁ sh. Eventually they also lost this isn’t Young Frankenstein. Th e idea is to their body hair, developing instead a thick layer of temporarily adopt another brain through subcutaneous fat (to keep warm in the water). They which you will view the world and try to learned to swim. write funny. Just follow these steps: And they became—us. Or so the theory goes. 1. Pick a story or a topic you’ve been Apes are funny: just ask anyone who has ever dressed thinking about adding humor to. For in a gorilla suit. Th e idea that our humanoid ape ancestors example, being stuck in traffi c. stood in chest-deep water while cracking open mollusks is funnier yet. But I didn’t know this starting out, and 2. Choose an inanimate object and write wouldn’t have run across it had I not monkeyed around the story from its perspective. How on Google and in the library. would the plastic hula dancer on your car Th e eventual title of my surgery essay? “Th e Aquatic dashboard respond to heavy traffi c, for Ape Hypothesis, or How I Learned to Love My Para- example? Aim for at least 300 words and nasal Sinuses.” try to avoid making them all questions.

Always remember the ultimate Zen koan of humor 3. When you’ve fi nished, choose an animal writing: Th ere is nothing less funny than someone trying and write from its perspective. Maybe to be funny. now you’re a dog on the way to the vet You’ve met the sort, I’m sure: the not-so-funny amateur and you know you’ll miss your appoint- jokester who can’t understand why no one is laughing, so ment. Plus, you get to hang your head he raises his voice, assuming the problem is that folks out the window the whole time! can’t hear him well enough. When that fails, he starts 4. Last, write the story as if you are a famous wagging his fi nger, poking people in the ribs. When person. How would your behavior and someone interrupts with a joke that actually hits its actions change if you were the Pope, a target, this bogus comedian—OK, now I’m talking Kardashian or Al Roker, for example? about my brother-in-law—goes into second-grader mode: “Oh yeah? I know you are but what am I?” Use this exercise to help you when you You can’t fake funny. In fact, what makes a story are stuck for funny ideas, no matter what truly humorous is, oddly enough, sincerity. If you are you’re writing. Temporarily see the story amused—genuinely amused—the amusement becomes or the situation through another’s eyes and infectious. No shouting or excessive use of exclamation when you return to your own POV, you’ll points is ever needed!!!!!! be re-energized. So, look inward, swallow your pride, own up to your more peculiar characteristics and consider just how pre- Excerpted from WD University’s Comedy Writing posterous a human being you really are. Workshop. Learn more about this online course at I think you’ll fi nd yourself in rather good company. WD writersonlineworkshops.com/courses/comedy- writing-workshop. Dinty W. Moore is is author of the memoir Between Panic & Desire, the writing guide Crafting the Personal Essay, and other books. He is deathly afraid of polar bears.

WritersDigest.com I 37

34_wd0818_Moore Feature.indd 37 4/19/18 12:12 PM Improv can bring a burst of energy to your creative endeavors. Learn the basics with these 14 principles—then put them into practice with some playful exercises.

mprovisation is an instant idea generator—and as a creativity device it can be as eff ective for writers as it is for performers on stage. With the right principles applied, it’s a secret weapon, ya’ll! Originating as a 16th-century Italian theater form called commedia dell’arte, today improv has been referred to as “writing on your feet.” Taking that tagline to heart, I’ve been luring shy writer friends into extem- poraneous exercises and games for years to help them spawn funny ideas on the fl y. Want to play? Hooray! By agreeing to join me, you are intuitively following the fi rst and mightiest directive of improvisation: Saying “Yes!” Starting now, resolve to run with whatever jumps into your brain. Once you start, don’t stop or second-guess—on stage, that kills a scene. Instead, embrace the idea that whatever pops into your head is golden. You can edit later. For now, just say yes to wherever your mind goes. Build upon it and try not to judge. If you can stick to this premise, then by the end of the game you’ll have written a piece on the spot in under a half-hour. But before we begin, here are a few key tenets of improv to keep in mind—not just for this exercise, but so you can keep sharpening your comedic chops moving forward:

DON’T TRY TO BE FUNNY. Th e magic arrives when you stop consciously trying to be funny and simply disappear into the character and their world. Comedy emerges from characters in real-life situations.

LISTEN. Th e best moments that arise during a live improv-comedy performance begin when you lend an ear. On stage, this manifests as an improviser actively listening to the room or to their scene partners, but as a

38 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

38_0818_Marie Feature.indd 38 4/20/18 11:14 AM writer, this can mean being attentive to your own intuition. draped his mother’s white, lace bra over his head like a Active listening can also bring you clarity of focus. nun’s wimple.” Specifi city gives a story comedic texture.

USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. Utilize surprise JUXTAPOSITION. Take advantage of incongruity. whenever you can in dialogue, turning points or Opposites attract—at least where laughs are con- situations. Comedy fl ourishes from misdirection. cerned. (Th ink Ross and Rachel on Friends.) When two contrasting ideas or characters are thrown together, the CHOOSE WORDS CAREFULLY. Certain words really eff ect is ripe for comedy. are funnier: Bumfuzzle. Catawampus. Lollygag. Th e thesaurus is your friend. BE PREPARED TO COMMIT. Make the simple decision to give whatever project you’re working on OBSERVE. Spending time documenting everything 110 percent. On stage, an actor who fully embraces the that makes you laugh will help you recognize the role of a colicky newborn, tottering around on their type of things that you fi nd funny. By understanding hands and knees, is far funnier than the actor who half- your own sense of humor, you can more eff ectively asses it because they’re too self-conscious. Apply this portray the same sensibility on the page. same logic to your work-in-progress, and don’t let fear TEAM UP. Comedy has a long legacy of talented of criticism keep you from following through. writing teams, and good improvisers don’t leave anyone TRUST. Since I asked you to commit so hard, hanging—the goal is always to support and lift up your part- you’ll have to trust that this improv business works. ner. By bouncing ideas off of one another, you can build Th at the characters you’re creating really are interesting and polish jokes that never would’ve occurred to you on or funny or whatever it is you’re going for. In trusting, your own. If you’re unsure whether a joke or comedic scene you’re also being vulnerable, which is essential to creating is working, fi nd a funny friend who will give honest input. a real, relatable character. In improv you must trust your DON’T JUDGE—APPRECIATE. Being overly critical of partners, your intuition, yourself—and in writing, you your own work, or that of others, is among the fastest have to do the same. ways to a throw yourself into a downward spiral. If your BE HONEST. Comedy is truth. Even when the char- fi rst instinct is to be judgmental, try this: Appreciate that acters are fi ctitious, the truth of the idea and your you came up with an idea at all, instead of diminishing belief in the kernel of comedy it contains will break through. the idea itself. Sometimes a small, simple premise that Especially if it comes from an honest, sincere place. you might have squelched in the beginning can grow into strong, hilarious material with some simple nurturing. Now, with those guidelines in hand, let’s play some improv games! BE ADAPTABLE. I admit, I’m a thinker. A planner. Forethought is my natural disposition, and it gets in the way. I have to intentionally will myself to let go. Th e Comedians, writers and actors oft en derive inspiration best way to achieve that is to be aware of when a plot from the world around them. As you will see in Step 1, point seems forced, and open myself to following the it’s benefi cial to always be taking in everything you see, natural contours of the story. Be receptive to spontaneity. hear, feel and smell. EMPLOY THE COMIC TRIPLE. It’s a classic comedy creed And what better way to get to know all your main that three is the funniest number. Th ink of the vintage characters than to become them, as you will in Step 2. joke setup, “A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.” Consistent practice with such an exercise will result in For the punchline, the fi rst two items set up the start of more well-rounded, authentic characters. a pattern, then the third disrupts that pattern—and thus WHAT YOU NEED: Your imagination, power of observa- delivers a laugh. tion and something to write with. Also, a timer. (A note BE SPECIFIC. Emphasizing precise detail is a good about the timer: Its use is variable depending on how way to dig for comedy gold. See for yourself: which quickly you write or type, so feel free to adjust. Th e point is funnier? “Th e little boy played in his mother’s room,” of using it is to remind you not to think, but to continue or, “Plucked from the pile of clean laundry, the little boy pouring words onto the page until it goes off .)

WritersDigest.com I 39

38_0818_Marie Feature.indd 39 4/20/18 11:14 AM STEP 1. EXTERNAL DISCOVERY Reset the timer for four minutes. • Set the timer for two minutes. • Commit to inhabiting this new character 110 percent— • As quickly as you can, scan your mind for the funny maybe even your posture changes. people you know in your life. Select one. Maybe it’s a • Sit and write (or stand and dictate/record) as this jux- very casual relationship (your local mailwoman, who taposing character. Let the words fl ow naturally based on always makes a strange sound in the back of her throat), the traits you outlined in the previous exercise. a close connection (Aunt Peg, who runs a cat hotel) or • Write until the timer goes off . someone in-between (that guy in HR with the Elvis side- burns, who asks everyone to play chess at lunch). • Select one and write their name at the top of the page. Now, let’s put your new characters to work. Take them • Start freewriting about them. Describe them physically, and place them in some scenario where they are forced mentally. How do they look at the world? What are their to interact. Let ’em loose! For comedic eff ect, play around relationships like? And so on. Make simple lists if you with situations that you intuitively fi nd funny—trust your- want—this doesn’t have to be a narrative. self! Try giving the characters the same goal, and force • Write until the timer goes off . If you start running out them to work together to solve it. You’ll reap the best of qualities, quirks or traits, then make some up that fi t rewards when they’re put in situations where their behavior nicely with what you do know. stands out starkly, or is accentuated. For example, if you have a character that always needs to be the center of STEP 2. INTERNAL JOURNEY • Reset the timer for four minutes. attention, depict her giving a speech at her best friend’s • Th is time, become the person. Sit and write (or stand wedding while the bride (opposite character) looks on. and dictate/record) as this quirky character. Maybe If you’re still struggling to think of a premise, here are you’re composing a diary entry, a social media post, a some additional suggestions: blog. You could be writing an angry “I’ve been wronged!” • Th ey’re stuck in an elevator, 40 stories up. And the comment on a corporation’s website, or a Dear John let- elevator falls a fl oor lower every minute or so. ter, or just a rant. • Th ey’re afl oat in the ocean on a raft that has sprung a leak. • If you “lose” the character, review your notes and try • Th ey’re in jail for a crime neither committed. again. Commitment is key! • Th ey’re in the company break room, where both learn • Write until the timer goes off . Unless: If you’re they were just passed up for a big promotion. absolutely done before then, don’t force more. Let it be. • Th ey both awake in a high-rise loft with no memory of the past 48 hours. Now, get writing: Repeat the two steps above, this time to form a character • Set the timer for 10 minutes. that contrasts the fi rst you created. • Begin the scene from whichever point of view you prefer. Even if you’re usually more comfortable writing STEP 1. EXTERNAL DISCOVERY, OPPOSITE CHARACTER • Set the timer for two minutes. in third person, try fi rst person for this exercise so you • Write a new, fi ctional name at the top of the page. can more fully step into your characters. • Create a character who is the opposite of the one • Write until the timer dings. you did in the last exercise. Brainstorm lists of physical, Th e goal of all this, by employing juxtaposition and mental and spiritual traits; gender, age, income, the rules covered earlier, is to write a scene in which profession—wherever your mind carries you. humorous moments develop from organic discovery. • Write until the timer goes off . Add in any elements Some of the best writers working in television and fi lm that would create an entertaining, specifi c juxtaposition cite this technique as a critical component of their train- and from the fi rst character. ing work. Perhaps you can already see why … it’s freeing, fun and so full of rewards. WD

STEP 2. INTERNAL JOURNEY, OPPOSITE CHARACTER Jorjeana Marie is currently writing on Disney’s “Mickey and the Repeat Step 2 from the last exercise, now from the per- Roadster Racers.” Her book Idea Machine, on the secrets of impro- spective of this new character. visation, will be out in 2019.

40 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

38_0818_Marie Feature.indd 40 4/24/18 8:41 AM PROSPER .

indieLAB / presented by Writer’s Digest /

1 An interactive gathering for entrepreneurial authors, independent publishers, and freelance writers seeking to develop a publishing strategy, build a platform, grow an audience, and get paid for their work.

2 With new opportunities come new rules, new strategies, new paths to success. NETWORK

. 3 If you’re ready to move beyond the hustle and start publishing smarter, join us on September 29-30 in our hometown of Cincinnati for an interactive weekend of innovative strategies, actionable insights, and invaluable networking.

For more information and to register: WritersDigest.com/indieLAB LEARN

38_0818_Marie Feature.indd 41 4/20/18 11:15 AM The winner of the 18TH ANNUAL WRITER’S DIGEST SHORT SHORT STORY COMPETITION reveals the understated power of daily life’s simple interactions in “Beneath the Cracks.” BY KAREN KRUMPAK

s a 911 operator, 28-year-old Nicole Disney faux tomato soup by squeezing ketchup packets from a understands the impact of a single life- fast-food restaurant into a cup of hot water. changing instant. “I was interviewing a foster parent [for one of my “Doing 911 work, you hear the moments upcoming novels], and they told me this story of the kid that change people’s lives,” she explains. making tomato soup out of ketchup, and it just hit me so “It is a constant inspiration to talk to hard,” Disney says. “I instantly knew that I needed to do people in this raw form that you don’t something with that.” usually get to experience. It’s a privilege to be a part of Gritty, contemporary stories are Disney’s passion— someone’s life in that way, even if it’s just for a couple narratives that portray the human condition in diffi cult of minutes.” circumstances. Th e novel she was researching when she Th at same intimacy is also what Disney considers the stumbled upon the premise for “Beneath the Cracks” is best part of writing short fi ction: You have limited space about social workers, and she’s currently working on a to capture and distill an experience for the reader, fi nd- web-based project called “Snap Stories,” where she shares ing beauty and humanity in life’s struggles. fl ash fi ction inspired by 911 calls. She conveys that amity well in her 1,400-word story Whatever Disney is writing, she aims to dig deep, refi ne “Beneath the Cracks,” which bested more than 3,000 it down to its most evocative moments, and “make it hit entries to win fi rst place in the 18th Annual Writer’s you in the gut.” For her, focusing on little things that reveal Digest Short Short Story Competition. Disney will the gravity in everyday interactions is just one piece of receive $3,000 and a trip to the Writer’s Digest Annual what it means to be a writer. And, she adds, staying in the Conference in New York City, among other prizes. present and appreciating the seemingly commonplace “Beneath the Cracks” is a tale about a grizzled, hungry in her short fi ction shift s her personal perspective, too: homeless man and a street-savvy young boy who show “When you view the world through that lens, every per- each other compassion, trading secrets that make their son, every experience, even every inconvenience or bad WESTEND61/GETTY IMAGES destitution slightly more bearable. In a simple-yet- experience becomes inspiration. It just makes me see the

powerful scene, the boy shows the man how to make world a little bit diff erently.” PHOTO ©

42 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

42_wd0818_Short Short Feature.indd 42 4/19/18 12:13 PM NICOLE DISNEY

When did you know that writing was your calling? When I was 7 or 8 years old, I had this class assignment to write a Halloween story. The assignment was probably a page or two. And I don’t know how at that age I got this in my head, but I just immediately thought that I needed to write a novel.

What is one thing you can’t live without in your writing life? Feedback from other writers. No matter how much you try to self-edit, there will be certain things you’ll never think of. You need a different perspective.

What makes fl ash fi ction such a unique form? I like intense writing, and fl ash fi ction forces you to be really intense because you’re just [at] full, forceful speed The 18th Annual WD Short Short Story Competition the whole time, and I’m really drawn to that. received more than 3,000 entries. Authors Jeffrey Marks, Debby Mayne and Gina Ochsner served as fi rst-round What is the best writing advice you’ve received? judges, and the WD editorial staff ranked the fi nalists. Just get something down. And the other half of that advice is to not be afraid of the delete key. If something 1. “BENEATH THE CRACKS” 6. “GOODBYE, BETTY 4.0” is not working, you can rearrange it, you can change Nicole Disney, Madeline Vann, it, you can even just start over. I’ve gotten a lot of my Denver, Colo. Williamsburg, Va. best work that way—by writing something, and then 2. “FREE WHITE MILK” 7. “AVOIDING THE completely throwing it out and doing it over, and it Talya Tate Boerner, BOUQUET” comes out much better. Fayetteville, Ark. Leslie DeVooght,

What else have you written? 3. “MAPLE” Jacksonville, Fla. My ﬁ rst novel, published in 2013, is called Dissonance in A Charlotte MacFarlane, 8. “THE LAST WORD” Minor. I have two upcoming titles with Bold Strokes Books, Alberta, Canada Tracy Maxwell, both to be released in 2018. The ﬁ rst is Hers to Protect in 4. “CAUGHT” Edmonds, Wash. June, and the other one is Secrets on the Clock in October. Julie Watson, 9. “LITTLE BUGS” Wildwood, Mo. Cody D. Campbell,

DEEP DIVE 5. “AMERICAN Corvallis, Ore. To read “Beneath the Cracks” and an extended Q&A with SPECIAL” 10. “ONE STEP FORWARD” Disney, visit writersdigest.com/aug-18. John K. Boy, Zulma Ortiz-Fuentes, South Lyon, Mich. Brooklyn, N.Y. NICK M. DO/GETTY IMAGES NICK M. DO/GETTY IMAGES

YOU COULD BE NEXT! Enter your short ﬁ ction (1,500 words or fewer) in the 19th Annual WD Short Short Competition. The early- bird deadline is Nov. 15, 2018. For more information or to enter online, visit bit.ly/short-short. To purchase an anthology of the top

KETCHUP PHOTO © 25 stories from this year’s competition, go to writersdigestshop.com.

WritersDigest.com I 43

42_wd0818_Short Short Feature.indd 43 4/24/18 8:42 AM George Saunders THE BIG SHORT

The short-form master dishes on inventive structure, reveals why he’s wary of outlines and talks novel-length success with Lincoln in the Bardo.

BY TYLER MOSS © DAVID CROSBY © DAVID SAUNDERS PHOTO

44 I WRITER’STER’S DIGDIGESTEST I July/August 20120188

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 44 4/19/18 12:13 PM uperlatives. with WD that runs nearly 10,000 words. Read an excerpt George Saunders is used to those. of that interview over the following pages—which covers S A 2013 profi le in Th e New York Times Magazine the inventive structure of Lincoln in the Bardo (now available called him “the writer of our time.” Th e late David in paperback), Saunders’ formula for confl ict and his aver- Foster Wallace once dubbed him “the most exciting sion to outlines—and fi nd the extended version online at writer in America,” and Saunders’ fellow novelist and writersdigest.com/aug-18. teaching peer Mary Karr named him “the best short story writer in English—not ‘one of,’ not ‘arguably,’ but the Best.” Lincoln in the Bardo has such an innovative structure: Zadie Smith deemed his latest work “a masterpiece,” and excerpts from history books, sections that read like he’s been hailed as the heir to Pynchon and Vonnegut. a stage play, character monologues that are self- A former MacArthur Genius Fellow, Saunders has written contained vignettes. How did you land on that format? nearly two dozen pieces—both fi ction and nonfi ction—for Th is book took me, in total, about 20-something years to Th e New Yorker, demonstrating his talent across category. write. During the fi rst 16 of that, I was mostly just think- His 2013 New York Times bestselling short story collection, ing about it and a little terrifi ed of it, and also trying to “Tenth of December,” was a National Book Award Finalist and avoid it. I would think, I’ll do that Lincoln book, then I’d was named one of the best books of the year by such venues think, I don’t know how to start. I guess the short answer to as NPR, Entertainment Weekly and New York magazine. your question is: Structure is a way that allows you to do Unwilling to be defi ned by his concision alone, Saunders’ the things you’re good at, and avoid the things you’re not fi rst foray into full-length fi ction—2017’s Man Booker so good at. In this case, I was really afraid that the Lincoln Prize–winning Lincoln in the Bardo—is an existential subject would necessitate or cause the book to be a little exercise in human suff ering, sentimentality and historical stiff and 19th century. For example, I thought of writing re-examination, with a dash of his trademark humor. it in Lincoln’s voice, [but] that seemed really boring. I Th e novel follows young Willie Lincoln who, aft er per- couldn’t think of any way to make that enjoyable. ishing from typhoid at age 11, awakens in the “bardo” (a I thought about telling it in a distant third-person, [but] liminal state aft er death pulled from Buddhist tradition), that didn’t excite me at all. I stalled out for many years bringing readers along as he meets other ghosts still because I couldn’t think of any structure that would let me struggling to sort out their previous life’s baggage. Honest have fun, basically. I had tried to write a book in this theatri- Abe himself makes an appearance, grief and guilt drawing cal format before and had put it aside, but when I crossed him to his son’s crypt. Defying the conventions of genre that idea with the Lincoln idea, I got excited all of the sudden. and format, the book is simply the latest trophy in Saunders’ Th e one piece of advice I would give: If it’s not exciting to crowded case. you, it probably won’t work out. In this case, it was just Yet despite all the accolades, the 59-year-old is remarkably waiting for a structure that would get me excited. humble. It’s a modesty hewn from early years of struggle in I just read a great quote by Grace Paley, who said some- developing his own voice, with his acclaimed fi rst collection, thing like: It’s not that you should write what you know, 1996’s “CivilWarLand in Bad Decline,” written in his off - you should write what you don’t know about what you hours while he worked full time as a technical writer in know. I trust a lot in that feeling of an intrigued confusion. Rochester, N.Y. Th at humility translates into an abundant generosity of spirit. Saunders teaches at Syracuse What was your process like piecing it all together? University’s Master of Fine Arts program—the same As I remember it, I started with the ghosts talking back program through which the distinguished writers Tobias and forth theatrically. Th ere were two doubts I had about Wolff and Douglas Unger mentored him in the late 1980s. that: One was that I knew the reason I was excited about His sense of altruism—an openness to share from his well this book had a lot to do with the moment in history when of wisdom—manifests itself in a craft -based conversation the whole thing happened, this event where Lincoln went

WritersDigest.com I 45

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 45 4/24/18 8:43 AM George Saunders

“I’ve learned to trust that feeling. If I’m being a little dangerous or a little naughty or a little transgressive, and not just for the sake of it, then I know to go in that direction.”

into his son’s crypt. It happened in the middle of the something like that. I’ve learned to trust that feeling. If Civil War. Th e circumstances around his son’s death were I’m being a little dangerous or a little naughty or a very tragic and sad and specifi c. I knew I had to get little transgressive, and not just for the sake of it, then the history in. Th en, at the same time, aft er some I know to go in that direction. number of weeks of writing the ghosts, I started to get that drift y feeling like, Well, since they’re ghosts, you How much of a story’s arc do you know before can do anything. you begin? Th at’s actually the enemy of good writing, I think. My normal idea on stories is to try to know as little as Good writing thrives on some kind of constraint. When possible at every step, because then you’re open to the you’re saying, “OK, they’re ghosts from any historical actual energy that’s coming off the page. If you want the period and they can do any physical thing,” that’s really story to go left , but it really wants to go right, you’d better hard. Also, I felt as if my imagined or projected reader let it go right. If I don’t have a whole lot of preconceptions would be getting a little impatient with the absence of about it, it’s easier for me to make that swerve. Having constraint. If anything goes, nothing happens, basically. said that, it always varies. Some stories, like one called Th ose two ideas arrived at the same time, and I thought, “Th e End of Firpo in the World,” I knew the whole arc, I’ve got to put some history in there, just for grounding. just in an instant. Th is Lincoln book … here’s what my Just so the ghosts will suddenly actually seem more believ- outline was: On one level, Lincoln comes into the crypt, able. If you have a ghost and a fact, the ghost seems more holds the body and eventually leaves the graveyard. Th at factual somehow. would either happen in one night, or three times in three One day I had one of these neurotic conversations successive nights. Th e second arc was: Willie dies, is for with myself, which is like me talking back and forth to some reason stuck in this bardo zone, and either is lib- me. I said, “OK, do you think this history stuff has to go erated from it in a positive way—or isn’t. Th at was my in there?” whole outline. It was like a vague hallway I could walk “I do.” down and try to fi nd the particulars. “OK. How do you think it can go in there?” My sense of most younger writers that I meet is “I don’t know, I tried everything I can do.” they put too much stock in knowing the whole thing “OK, how do you know that history?” before they start, which takes a lot of diff erent forms. “Well, I read it in all those history books.” Sometimes it’s outlines, sometimes it’s a lot of discursive “Well, why not just put it in there verbatim?” thought about thematics: My book is going to be about Th en there was an awkward silence and I’m like, “Can this, and it’s going to show this. Speaking anecdotally, in I do that?” And the other me said, “Well, it’s your stupid most cases, that’s too much. It actually is an elaborate book, you can do whatever you like.” ruse by the subconscious to keep you from fi nding the Th at was another moment of excitement and a little thing you should write about. It’s almost like somebody bit of transgression—to say a part of my “writing” pro- walking through Paris with a map right in front of their cess was going to be typing up other people’s words, face. Th ey’re concentrating on the map, but they’re not editing them, rearranging them and injecting them into really seeing the actual Paris. my book. Again, something about the almost suspect nature of that got me excited. Th e idea of using other You’ve called prose, when done right, “empathy sources suddenly seemed like sampling in music, or training wheels.” What are those “right” elements

46 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 46 4/19/18 12:14 PM that need to be in place for the story to truly elicit empathy? LIGHTEN UP One of the symptoms of good writing—and also one of Saunders explains how infusing humor into stories ultimately the causes of good writing—is that it takes the reader helped him to stop imitating Hemingway and ﬁ nd his true voice at writersdigest.com/aug-18. and the writer and puts them on the same footing. For example, a bad story is usually one where the writer is talking down to the reader. Leading him around by the with what I would call “narrative logic.” It’s like, OK, if nose, manipulating. Th e reader feels that, and just like if you’re reading a story of mine, you’re doing that compli- you were in a relationship with somebody who was con- cated work of projecting yourself into my main character. stantly talking down to you, you would resist. It really In other words, you’re becoming my main character, and is just the old-fashioned stuff of being clear, residing in so am I. We’re walking along together with this, and then your text long enough to know if you’re defying logic in in person, and we’re both being that person. I have a little some way or if you’re fi nding the optimal path through more control than you, so I say, “Jim came to the mud the material. puddle,” and you say, “OK, we’re standing in front of a Sometimes there’s a tendency to overdo this idea of mud puddle.” And then I say, “He took off all his clothes empathy, as if you have to make every story a demonstra- and rolled around in the mud on his way to work.” tion of selfl ess compassion or something. But I think the Now, part of your mind is going, “No, he didn’t.” Th e empathy, so called, is mostly in your relation to the reader. reason you’re saying that is because you wouldn’t do that. You’re trying to imagine that person as being every bit as We can tolerate some of that [separation], and that’s how smart and worldly and talented and curious as you are. If we make a character distinct from ourselves—but I think you do that, the level of your discourse will come up, and if there are hundreds of moments like that in a story that person will feel honored by your attention. where I’m looking at you and saying, “Would you accept When I read Dickens, I feel him as an empathetic that the character would do Action A?” If you say yes, writer. I just feel that he thinks well of me. He thinks then we’re still right next to each other and we’re experi- that I’m as smart as he is, so he’s telling the story very encing the story together. If you say, “I don’t know,” we’ve honestly and very frankly. Dickens resided long enough separated a bit. Some of that separation is necessary, in that story to really fi nd out why Scrooge was so stingy, because our characters aren’t identical to us, but in a then to supply exactly the right medicine in the form badly told story, the writer is asking the reader to accept of those three ghosts to bring Scrooge up. He was lov- things that a human being wouldn’t do. Th at aff ects the ing Scrooge all along, even when Scrooge was a stinker. reader’s belief in the story, so that when you get to the Dickens had that beautiful attitude of saying, “I know climatic moment, the reader isn’t fully invested because there’s more to you than that, Ebenezer. Let me just keep the writer has given her so many off -ramps. looking at you.” In other words, when you read a description of a mental state in a story, and the reader goes, “Yeah, I’ve You’ve said that you like to “take a human situation had that feeling,” that’s a good bonding agent. When and make it come to a boil.” How do you go about you describe a physical sensation or item really well, the planting the seeds for conﬂ ict? reader goes, “Oh yeah, I know that.” Every time you can Th e truth is, it has to do with line-to-line revision. It has do that, you pull the reader in a little closer to you. I to do with … it’s hard for me to explain this, but it’s basi- think the idea is to get to the very end of the story and cally revising enough that the situation you’re describing have the reader still standing foot-to-foot with you. seems to you 100 percent real. You know how some- You haven’t given her any reasons to disavow the truth times when you’re in an early draft , it feels like typing—it of the story. Th at’s what we talk about when we say doesn’t become a human event yet? I feel like my job is to climactic moments. Th e climactic moments feel power- revise it until it feels like something that really happened. ful as long as we’re still standing close together. In fact, Th at has to do sometimes with the way the prose sounds, even a fairly small climax can feel huge if the reader and that compulsion we talked about earlier. If you power writer are close. through a section of prose and have no doubts, then it I take a lot of consolation in that. If a story isn’t work- seems like it happened. ing, we sometimes think we have to make it bigger, make Within that, there’s another thing, which has to do a bigger escalation—an explosion, an alien invasion.

WritersDigest.com I 47

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 47 4/19/18 12:14 PM George Saunders

“This notion that we have to have an idea is deadly. I think if you do have an idea for a story, your wish should be that the story would burn that idea away and three weeks in, you go, “That wasn’t enough.”

Oft en, that impulse just means that we sense that we’ve have to have any themes. You don’t have to have any lost the reader early. It’s almost like if you had a really notions of where a story’s going. You need one little terrible date with somebody and it wasn’t going well, chunk of text that’s interesting to you, then you’re going so you thought, “OK, I’ll rent a string quartet at the to go in there and start goofi ng with it and trying to very end.” make it sound better, and the story will reveal itself in that way.” You’ve said you’re at a point now that when you I’m working on a story now—I have no idea what it’s don’t have any story ideas, you ﬁ nd joy in that about. I don’t know where it’s going. Th ere’s some good moment, instead of considering it a crisis. The lines in it, and I have confi dence that if I just get in there possibility of running out of ideas terriﬁ es most and sit down and start working on it, it’ll show me the writers. Where does that optimism come from? path. It’s almost like if you were going to dinner with a It’s a mistake to think that a story is a result of ideas. I really good friend. I don’t think you would feel inclined don’t think I’ve ever written a good story that came out to sketch out your conversational plans. You would just of an idea, really. Or if I start it that way, I abandon it trust that there’s enough energy there that you’re going quickly. A story is actually a system of meaning that to fi nd out what the conversation is, and you’re good creates meaning by reacting to itself. In other words, enough on your feet that you can move with it and the you don’t actually need an external idea to write a story, result of that conversation when you both bring your you need an inciting something or other. For me, that sincere interest to the table and let it rip, that’s going can be a phrase or a vague idea of a theme park, or to be much more joyful and full of life than if you had whatever. Sometimes it’s just a diction that I want to use; talking points. I just want to talk in a certain voice. Th is notion that we have to have an idea is deadly. It What’s the most important bit of wisdom writers can always has been for me. I think if you do have an idea for take away from this interview? a story, your wish should be that the story would burn We look for writing advice because it’s such an uncom- that idea away and three weeks in, you go, “What a facile fortable, frightening profession—so subjective and so idea that was. Th at wasn’t enough.” As a starting point iff y. Th e [sought aft er] writing advice will be somewhat it was great, but I think the idea is always that the story helpful, encouraging us to go ahead and try something, would overfl ow its banks in some way and become about but the real truth is the only writing advice that actually something that you didn’t even know it was going be matters is the stuff that you discover 12 years into about. Actually, it’s probably too harsh to say you start a your journey, which strangely is almost impossible story with no ideas. You start [with] a nice idea, almost to talk about. like when you say, “Let’s take a trip to California.” Th at’s Th e real experience of writing a book or a story, if an idea—an idea that will get you started in the right you think of it, is made up of thousands of tiny intuitive direction, but hopefully you’re going to have some com- leaps. Th at moment when an image pops into your head plicated fun along the way, and you won’t just get in a car and converts into language. You adjust that and boom, and drive right to California. Th ere will be some adven- you typed it, and it’s good or it’s bad. Th at’s an almost ture [en route]. indescribable thing. WD What I’m saying is, I fi nd it really helpful to my process to say, “You don’t have to have any ideas. You don’t Tyler Moss is the editor-in-chief of Writer’s Digest.

48 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 48 4/19/18 12:14 PM POPULARPOPULAR fictionfiction awardsawards

WRITE SHORT, GET PUBLISHED

SUBMIT YOUR BEST SHORT STORIES in the 14th Annual Writer’s Digest Popular Fiction Awards for a chance to win $2,500 in cash, a feature interview in Writer’s Digest magazine, and a paid trip to the ever-popular Writer’s Digest Annual Conference in New York City.

ENTER IN THESE CATEGORIES: YOUNG ADULT SCIENCE FICTION/ FANTASY HORROR MYSTERY/ CRIME THRILLER/ SUSPENSE ROMANCE For the full list of prizes and entry details, visit writersdigest.com/popularﬁctionawards

Early-Bird Deadline: September 14, 2018

44_wd0818_WD Interview.indd 49 4/19/18 12:14 PM FUNNYYOU SHOULDASK A literary agent’s mostly serious answers to your mostly serious questions. BY BARBARA POELLE

Dear FYSA, loss statements. P&Ls are generated to hit the target at 65K–110K words Th e word lengths for book based on, in part, estimates related across the board. As we move into genres seem so arbitrary. How did to projected market and comparative specifi c genres and subgenres, that’s agents and publishers arrive at these titles, printing and shipping costs, when the true bull’s-eye gets defi ned. numbers, what’s the sweet spot and are and about a billion other elements If what you’re submitting is 45K or, there ever any exceptions? that go into publishing a single book. inversely, 150K, and you are getting Yours, Count Me In In other words, how much they can a lot of standard “pass” letters, that spend on paper, ink, press time and might be why. But if your pacing Dear Count Me In, packaging—and still make money. is tight and each moment counts, Oh my gosh, well—it is so fun! As books today need to compete I’m not going to ding you for a Every four years on the 29th of more vigorously for people’s time and book that is 125K if it feels like 90K. February, we all get together in a entertainment dollars, publishers Th ere are, of course, exceptions. You big fi eld, Woodstock style, and tack are looking at any format, even can certainly hope to be one! But do giant felt targets with numbers on higher-margin hardcovers, and not plan to be one. them onto huge bales of hay. Th en, thinking, Th is thing is 600 pages and designated by genre, we have Velcro looks thick—will that discourage Dear FYSA, suit-wearing Human Javelins hurl people from even picking it up? Or is I’ve written a manuscript that themselves down a muddy run- that something this genre seems able has been rejected by 50 or so agents, way toward a springboard, and to support in this market because many of whom have said that while WHAMMO! Whatever number titles A, B and C already proved they like the writing style, they felt like they stick to is yelled out, the Genre that? As an agent, therefore, the only the genre (which I’ve tried labeling as Keeper writes it on a big board and reason I make a decision to reject “upmarket speculative” and “dystopian we all chant, “Th us has it fl own, thus a query based on word count is satire” in queries) is too nebulous or it is known!” Ta-da! Word counts for when the count is impossibly low or in-between to attract a publisher. Is a the next four years! impossibly high, rendering the book book from a debut author without a I want that to be true so badly unpublishable in any P&L. If books clear section on bookshelves too much that I just stopped typing to men- were selling at $39.95, we would of a gamble for agents? tally pack a picnic cooler for the have much more wiggle room. But Sincerely, Adrift in Anaheim event. (Starting with two bottles of think about the price point you buy Cakebread. Minimum.) Sigh. books at, or would be willing to Dear Adrift, OK, the real answer? Math. repeatedly buy books at. Even your I sat with this question awhile. Th ere I know. Makes you want the personal-household P&L refl ects is more that I want to say than a Human Javelins back, doesn’t it? this, right? single column allows. Part of my Agents have nothing to do with And I would say that within any response would entail me standing word count designations. Publishers genre, from young adult to adult, with you in the rain outside of some arrive at these numbers the same we can play with javelins a liiiitle sort of Irish drinking establishment, way they do most things: profi t and bit. You’re at least getting the arrow shaking our fi sts and howling, “But TRAVIS POELLE POELLE TRAVIS ASK FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK! Submit your own questions on the writing life, publishing or anything in between to writers.digest@ fwmedia.com with “Funny You Should Ask” in the subject line. Select questions (which may be edited for space or clarity) will be

answered in future columns, and may appear on WritersDigest.com and in other WD publications. PHOTO ©

50 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

50_wd0818_FYSA.indd 50 4/19/18 12:15 PM the path. Because, no, nothing is too much of a gamble if I truly love it. I Nothing is too much of a gamble if I truly will go out with a novel that has a love it. I will go out with a novel that has talking dog on skis that fi ghts zombies if I feel like I will forever regret a talking dog on skis that fi ghts zombies not being a part of this book that I if I feel like I will forever regret not being think brings magic to the table. But in this case, you have 50 agents that a part of this book that I think brings would clearly see another query magic to the table. from you, if not request the full. Because it isn’t your craft or skill level in question here, and that right there is an answer. It may not be the answer you wanted, but look at it it worked for Moore! It worked dismissive hand-fl icky thing. like this: 50 folks in publishing just for Palahniuk and Adams! What’s All I can say is this: If you’ve said you got the writing chops. So the problem here?” And another heard back from 50 agents, you’re fi nd the plot that respects that … Hey, part would be me wearing a fi tted crushing it. Even if they’re all rejec- Sparky! Strap on your skis! WD suit, drinking from a mug that says tions, you’re doing full due diligence “World’s Okayest Mom,” looking up to serve your novel from soup to Barbara Poelle is vice president at Irene Goodman Literary Agency (irenegoodman. over my glasses and saying, “Th en nuts. But there is something about it com), where she specializes in adult and write something else,” and doing a that prevents an agent from seeing young adult ﬁ ction.

Unlock the Secrets to Superior Plot Twists!

Building on the award-winning instruction provided in Mastering Suspense, Structure, & Plot, Jane K. Cleland’s newest guide, Mastering Plot Twists, shares her proven, ﬁ ve-step process for using TRDs—Plot Twists, Plot Reversals, and Moments of Heightened Danger—to help you create the kind of stories that will keep your readers up long into the night. Along with detailed examples from bestselling books, you’ll ﬁ nd Jane’s Plotting Roadmap and worksheets to help you plan your plot and develop I-can’t- wait-to-see-what-happens-next intrigue!

Available at WritersDigestShop.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other ﬁ ne book retailers.

WritersDigest.com I 51

50_wd0818_FYSA.indd 51 4/20/18 11:15 AM YOURSTORY CONTEST #87 Eyes Like Mine

THE CHALLENGE: Write a short story of 700 words or fewer based on the photo below.

Out of more than 300 entries, Writer’s Digest editors and forum members chose this winner, submitted by ROB SNYDER of Fort Wayne, Ind.

he was the love of my life she stood alone, as the other boys from the beginning. and girls were frantically pairing up, Th e fi rst time I saw not wanting to be the odd one out. S Ellie, we were just kids. I I wasn’t doing that—though I can met her at the junior-high dance. As tell you I certainly would not be was the custom, boys stood on one above it. I was drawn to Eleanor— side of the old gymnasium, girls but being shy, I was taking my time. on the other. No one was dancing She wasn’t going anywhere. until the last half-hour, when our As I got within a few feet of her, I wasn’t just giving her some line. gym teacher forced all the boys to I scuffl ed my feet, even cleared my Frankly, I’m not that good. I just said venture into the great unknown by throat, hoping she’d look up. She what I felt at that moment. She liked crossing the gym fl oor. didn’t. Somehow, this gave me a that. She said the only way we could I’ll forever be indebted to that boost of confi dence, thinking she ever prove it was true was to go to man for the brutal shove out of my was maybe actually shyer than I. the ocean to see. I assured her that, comfort zone that evening. Standing in front of her, I blurted someday, we would. I think what attracted us to each out the word, “Hi.” Th e sound of my A lot of boys and girls changed other that night was the overwhelm- voice was way too loud, startling dance partners in that fi nal half ing degree of utter shyness we both her—and me, too. She looked up, hour, once they got past their awk- possessed. Other boys fl ocked but sideways, not at me. I said, “Hi,” wardness. Ellie and I never thought straight to the cheerleaders, the again, more under control this time, of changing partners. In fact, from smart girls, the teacher’s pets. Some but accompanied with an awkward that day forward, neither of us ever girls tilted their heads and smiled hand-waving motion that was in no changed partners again. coyly at certain boys. In those days, way in-sync with my simple greeting. We went through school together, that was as far as you could go when At this second attempt, she did courted and got married. We built it came to fl irting. look at me. She looked directly at a life together and had babies, who I brought up the rear of the me. It was so swift and sudden that I later had babies of their own. It was male herd traversing the gymna- couldn’t avert my eyes, even though probably not a remarkable life to sium. Th at whole time, Eleanor I surely wanted to. Instead, at that those on the outside, but it was for Godsby’s eyes never came up from moment, our eyes locked. And I us. How lucky we both were to fi nd staring down at her perfectly tied would never see anything more our soulmate in seventh grade. patent-leather shoes. No one beautiful for the rest of my life. Ellie had always wanted to see approached her. None of the girls We danced. She felt right in my the ocean, but we’d never gotten even looked in my direction. arms. At the end, I told her I loved around to that; not once in our 60 Don’t misunderstand me: Th ere her, right at the free-throw line. She years together. was nothing wrong with Eleanor. didn’t hesitate in telling me she loved I lost my Ellie this summer. And And as soon as my adolescence- me, too. I told her that her eyes were I felt compelled to fi nally go to the marked skin cleared up, there would like the ocean, with the calmness of ocean, to feel the surf wash over my GETTY IMAGES: BENGT GEIJERSTAM be nothing wrong with me, either. the sea washing up to the shore, but feet. Th ere, Ellie is with me: I can

I shuffl ed my feet down to where with wild tides lurking behind them. see her eyes once again. IMAGE ©

52 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

52_wd0818_YourStory.indd 52 4/24/18 8:44 AM ENTERYOURSTORY

WRITE A SHORT STORY of 650 words or fewer based on the prompt below. You can be poignant, funny, witty, etc.; it is, after all, your story.

TO ENTER: Send your story via the online CONTEST #91 submission form at writersdigest.com/ your-story-competition or via email to [email protected] (entries must be pasted directly into the body of the email; attachments will not be opened).

NOTE: WD editors select the top 10 entries and post them on our website (writersdigest.com/your-story-competition). Join us online in July, when readers 91 will vote for their favorites to help rank the winners!

The winner will be published in a future issue of Writer’s Digest.

GETTY IMAGES: IMAGE SOURCE DON’T FORGET: Your name and mailing address. One entry per person. DEADLINE: July 9, 2018 IMAGE ©

GET

DIGITALLY!

WritersDigest.com I 53

52_wd0818_YourStory.indd 53 4/19/18 12:16 PM Improve Your Writing One Course at a Time.

Whether you’re writing for publication, extra money or to tell personal stories, Writer’s Digest University has courses that can help get your writing career underway. Our expert instructors provide advice, speciﬁc instruction, real-world experience, expertise, and the motivation and drive to enable you to achieve your goals.

Our workshops cover a wide range of subjects, including:

tFICTION WRITING tFREELANCE/COPYWRITING tGENRE/SPECIALTY WRITING tGETTING STARTED tMARKETING/BUILDING A PLATFORM

tNONFICTION WRITING tPREPARING FOR PUBLICATION tSHORT STORY/ESSAY WRITING tSCREENWRITING WORKSHOPS AT SCREENWRITERS UNIVERSITY

Visit to take your writing education to the next level.

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 54 4/19/18 12:17 PM WRITER’S

EXERCISES AND TIPS FOR HONING SPECIFIC ASPECTS OF YOUR WRITING S w, D ’t T

SHOW AND TELL IN SHORT NONFICTION BY SUSAN SHAPIRO

ew writers are oft en advised to “Show, don’t tell.” President Barack Obama’s eloquent memoir Dreams From N Many have no idea what this means. My Father, you’ll see he doesn’t present his life chrono- Mark Twain instructed: “Don’t report that the old logically. He begins the fi rst chapter when he’s 21 years lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.” More old, living in New York, getting a phone call from an aunt recently, bestseller Janet Evanovich wrote: “If your in Africa telling him of his father’s death. Th en, aft er we’re character walks out of his apartment, pulls up the already engaged in the story, he fl ashes back to his child- collar of his coat, and goes searching through pockets for hood in the subsequent chapters to fi ll in the details. his gloves, you don’t have to tell us it’s freezing.” Both Twain and Evanovich are known primarily for FIRST SHOW, THEN TELL their fi ction. When it comes to nonfi ction, though, while Even in a short personal essay, there’s room to both you don’t want to list everything that happened to you effi ciently “tell” information quickly and to “show” the from birth on, there are oft en compelling and necessary important parts, as the brilliant essayist Phillip Lopate reasons you should “tell” factual elements. Here’s why you demonstrates in his book To Show and to Tell. Showing is might need to show and tell when writing essays—and oft en more eff ective at the onset of a piece of nonfi ction, how to strike the perfect balance. when you only have one job: to lure the reader in. Or, as Hollywood director Billy Wilder suggested in his “Rules WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE? for Screenwriters” (found in Conversations With Wilder “Showing” can be described as painting a vivid picture of by Cameron Crowe): “Grab ’em by the throat and never let what’s going on, using the kind of physical description, ’e m g o.” humor, pathos and dialogue that immediately brings At the start of his heartfelt Quartz piece, my former readers into a scene in novels, short stories, poetry, non- student Emillio Mesa showed a dramatic scenario with fi ction and on the screen. the fi rst lines: “Telling” is when you report facts from an unemotional “I eventually erased my mother’s frantic voicemail, but it distance, the way you’d share résumé highlights in a job still beats inside me, like a second heart. ‘Your brother is interview. Th is kind of narrative summary gets a bad dead! Please come home,’ she screamed.” rap because it doesn’t draw readers into the pages in the same way as “showing,” but still, it’s a signifi cant part of In the next line, Emillio told the reader what had happened: the mix. “A sudden heart attack claimed my brother’s life at 30. While providing background info is oft en necessary, He died in his sleep, found by his eldest son.” sharing data didactically can be typical and boring—so you’ll want to try something new. If you pick up, say, former Emillio later wove in more facts:

WritersDigest.com I 55

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 55 4/24/18 10:00 AM WRITER’S WORKBOOK

“A year after I was born in the Dominican Republic, my Th en, aft er that, I told specifi c details: mother divorced my father. She left me in the care of “A decade ago, needing closure, I begged him for a long my grandparents to leave for New York City. Five years overdue showdown … Now that he was here, I panicked. later she returned to me, with a new husband and child. I had recently turned 50, torn two ligaments in my back, That’s when I ﬁ rst met my brother, Wesley.” was out of shape. I felt too weak to face my ex. Did he In another culturally evocative piece in Th e New York really want to buy me a drink? He didn’t even know I Times Modern Love column, “Close Enough to Touch hadn’t smoked or drank in 10 years.” Was Too Far Apart,” my single, conservative Muslim stu- I started by showing a scene to capture your attention. dent Saba Ali led by showing a common image within a Th en I fi lled in the backstory to help you understand provocative question: the relevance of the episode. “Who knew that holding hands, the very act that signals the start of so many relationships, would be the end STRIKING A BALANCE of mine?” Following these rules will ensure your essay is as compel- Th en she told us about her background: ling and clear as it needs to be by helping you balance showing and telling. “Born in Kenya of Indian heritage, I came to the United States at age 6, settling with my family in upstate New 1. USE PAST TENSE THROUGHOUT. It’s the most honest York. Growing up Muslim in suburban America.” approach, since the story you’re writing has already happened. While in poetry, fi ction and on-screen it’s more In the lede of my New York Times Modern Love piece, common to use present tense, fewer newspapers or I showed: magazines will publish a present-tense nonfi ction essay. “His email read: Since it’s an artsy conceit, oft en to make a piece feel more ‘Here for one night. Giants game tomorrow. Buy you immediate, literary journals will sometimes publish a drink?’ creative nonfi ction that plays with tenses. But you usu- I was so stunned, I lost my breath. I hadn’t seen him ally have to know the rules before you break them. For in 25 years. I thought I had gotten over the need to get beginners, I suggest using the verb form that indicates over my ﬁ rst love. But 11 words on a screen and I was a that the action has already occurred. nervous 14-year-old again.” I also fi nd it’s easier to put everything in one tense. So instead of starting with past tense, then switching around to say, “I have always been the type to talk in my sleep,” I B t would write, “I had always talked in my sleep.” Just use past QUICK TIP: tense, which is easier to write, read and remember.

Tell It True 2. RECALL AS CLEARLY AS POSSIBLE. Nobody has a record Share your background and cultural heritage so people of every word they spoke in the past. Write your recollec- can picture, relate and feel kinship with you. You’re tion down in the most accurate way you can. You don’t familiar with your own history, but your photograph have to say, “I remember that …” We know you remember or bio won’t necessarily accompany your pages. So it—that’s why you’re writing it. You can also cut the line, “I describe yourself with unique, idiosyncratic details. don’t remember much, but …” Instead, add how you fi g- Put on a Show ured it out. For example: “When I asked my mother, she Don’t overload the reader with backstory or exposi- was sure that …” “Family records indicate …” or, “Looking tory facts that ruin the momentum. Nobody wants to through my sister’s old photograph album, I saw …” read “then-this-happened-then-that-happened.” 3. DON’T OVERDO DIALOGUE. Five or six lines of a If necessary, you can subtly weave in important back- conversation in a scene is suffi cient for a 900-word ground details later. personal essay. If you write an entire page of dialogue, that’s a script.

56 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 56 4/19/18 12:17 PM S w, D ’t T

4. DON’T START AT THE VERY BEGINNING. If I read the fi rst line of an essay that goes, “I was born in Columbus, Ohio, D Y S w T ? EXERCISE: the oldest of three children of an Italian homemaker Review the draft of an essay on which you’re mother and a lawyer father …” I would stop reading. currently working. Using two different colors, ﬁ nd Aft er all, I didn’t sign up for the modern version of Great and highlight every instance of: Expectations, just a short essay. • Backstory • Dialogue 5. BEGIN WITH BRAVADO. Some of my most provocative ledes: “We met the day I replaced her.” (Marie Claire) “I Make sure you haven’t thrown in too much expository was married twice last summer.” (Th e New York Times history or over-explanation of your past. But also Magazine) “Sliding into a booth at the gelato parlor, a limit the lines of dialogue to avoid using the label shooting pain fl ared in my spine and I sat up straighter, “personal essay” for a poem, monologue or teleplay. the way he taught me.” (New York magazine) “Of all pos-

sible illicit online liaisons, how did I wind up with my fi rst 8. ANIMATE WITH HUMOR OR SELF-DEPRECATION. lover’s wife?” (Elle) Th e indelicate fi rst line “Th at summer Sybil Sage’s essay “How I Fended Off My Own Harvey my husband stopped screwing me” (New York Observer) Weinsteins” in the Jewish Forward starts: “‘Oy, this is bad actually led to a memoir deal. Don’t be afraid to be out for the Jews,’ is how my parents would have reacted to there, crazy, brave, revealing and innovative. If you are a scandal involving a Weinstein.” Conversely, Kenan using typical words that have been said many times, twist Trebincevic’s Wall Street Journal essay starts, “‘I hope them diff erently. As the poet Emily Dickinson wrote, “Tell they’re not Muslim,’ I told my brother, Eldin, when we fi rst all the truth but tell it slant.” saw the pictures of the Boston Marathon bombers. We soon found out [they] shared our religion, as we’d dreaded, 6. DON’T BOMBARD THE READER WITH FACTS. If there are important details to be told, weave them in later when when my Jewish college roommate kiddingly texted, ‘Hey it feels more organic. Don’t overstuff the lede. In David would you please tell your people to stop blowing things Mamet’s rules for drama, he says the audience only up?’” Th ese kind of dark jokes make the narrators know- cares about three questions: 1) Who wants what from able and likable, adding levity to a usually serious topic. whom? 2) What happens if they don’t get it? 3) Why 9. COMMIT WHOLEHEARTEDLY TO ONE STORY. In the mid- now? Everything else is irrelevant and can clunk up dle of reading a personal essay, I can’t stand when a writer your fi rst paragraph, rendering it boring or confusing. tosses in the cliché “But that’s a whole other story …” or cuts to a tangent about another character or family. 7. DON’T REVEAL THE END TOO SOON. If you begin your I’ve argued with students who don’t want to fl ash for- essay, “Aft er living through the worst divorce in the ward and give a satisfying conclusion because “I’m history of the world, I swore I’d never get married again, so saving the follow-up for my next piece.” Don’t play walking down the aisle was a surprise,” you’ve given away games, be coy, store up anecdotes or save the best stuff too much information too fast. Th ere’s no reason to keep for later. Push yourself into completing this essay, telling reading. Try something more enigmatic, like, “When I fi rst one story as if it’s the last piece you’ll ever write and saw the cute bearded man with glasses, I turned away, sure publish, and it won’t be. he wouldn’t be interested in a 45-year-old angry divorcee like me.” In my favorite relationship pieces, I don’t know To get your audience to read your essay from start to if the couple is going to break up or get married. Pretend fi nish, make sure you balance show and tell throughout you’re writing a rom-com with a mini-mystery to solve the entire piece. Th ere’s a lot that you need to tell your (Who winds up with whom?). Put a tiny clue in each para- readers when craft ing nonfi ction—and, if you show graph, but wait until the very end to reveal the resolution. them why they should be interested, they’ll be more than Th is is also true of memoirs. My wise colleague, Knopf willing to be told. editor Deborah Garrison, once told me, “A novel that’s

merely autobiographical is a great disappointment, but a Excerpted from The Byline Bible © 2018 by Susan Shapiro, with memoir that reads like a novel is a great surprise.” permission from Writer’s Digest Books.

WritersDigest.com I 57

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 57 4/24/18 8:44 AM SHOW, TELL AND SUGGEST IN FICTION BY STEVEN JAMES

riting advice is like a recipe in a cookbook. It’s a Oft en, it’s stronger and more eff ective to have a charac- Wproven method to make a tasty meal, but there’s ter say, “I came over here today to fi nd out where Alice is, room for improvisation and creativity. It’s a guide. Similarly, and I’m not leaving until I have some answers,” than to try “show, don’t tell” has been hammered into your head as a to reveal all of that indirectly. universal truth. And to some degree, you’ve been misled. If you attempt to show desire rather than tell it, you Th e advice is not actually applicable in all situations. In fact, may end up writing unnecessary scenes, that needlessly sometimes you should tell—but you need to learn when to burden the pace of your story. do one rather than the other. So, back to the vampire. Let’s say you have a vampire chasing a man through a If it’s vital to the story, contextually driven, reveals how moonlit forest. Do you show the chase, or do you summa- a situation is altered and remains true to the pace, you rize it? Under what circumstances would you simply tell would show the chase scene and its frightful conclusion in readers that it happened? all its bloody glory. Th ink of how you might reveal that a character is angry. Otherwise, you could simply summarize: “It took Vlad You could simply tell readers: only 30 seconds to fi nd Johnny in the forest and make him one of his own.” Jonathan was furious. Context will make it clear to you when you need to show Or you could show that he was furious through his actions your readers an event: Th e bigger the promise you’ve made and mannerisms: regarding the importance of a scene, the more vital it is for you to render that scene. Verify that 1) every signifi cant Jonathan stomped across the room, threw open the door scene is rendered, 2) emotions are honest and evident and and hollered for his son to come down the stairs. Now! 3) the characters’ intentions are clear to readers. Readers would infer what’s going on and think, Man, that dude is seriously upset. SHOW & TELL TUNE-UP Typically, we’re taught that it’s better to go the second When reviewing something that you’ve already written, route (of showing) than the fi rst (of telling). Th at’s where use the following questions to check whether you’re the, “show, don’t tell,” advice comes in. showing and telling at the right times: But why is that encouraged? • Is there too much telling when it comes to emotion? Well, oft en, showing makes for more engaging reading, What about showing when it comes to desire? How and it demonstrates trust that readers will be able to piece can you fi x that? things together and discern the character’s mood, feelings • Have you rendered the most appropriate scenes? Are or desires from the context. OK, but are there times when there any scenes that you’re rendering that should have you wouldn’t want to show, and should tell instead? just been summarized instead? Yes. Th ere are. • Have you been sensitive to the promises made by the amount of time you’ve spent rendering or summariz- SHOW STRUGGLES, TELL GOALS ing diff erent scenes? Will readers properly anticipate show Generally speaking, we characters’ emotions by their which scenes and turning points are important? response to stimuli, but we tell readers their desires. • With the dilemmas you’ve introduced and the charac- To show is to render. ters you’ve portrayed as important, what scenes will To tell is to summarize. readers want to see played out? If you’re not giving Showing rather than telling doesn’t work well when them that, why not? Will they be captivated and you’re revealing intention. In other words, it’s oft en better pleased by what you give them instead? to have a character simply and unequivocally state why • Concerning intention, is it clear what each character he’s in a scene rather than bending over backward trying wants and what’s stopping them from getting it? If not, to show what he wants without telling readers. how can you better clarify their goals or aspirations?

58 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 58 4/24/18 8:45 AM S w, D ’t T

הat S הS w & T C AT A GLANCE:

Having to stop and debate whether to summarize a scene or render it beat-by-beat can impede your pace and disrupt your storytelling rhythm. Although not steadfast rules, the guidelines in the table below can be used for quick reference when the decision to “show” or “tell” is not clear-cut.

STORY ELEMENT SHOW OR TELL? HOW? A character’s emotional response Show Don’t tell readers a character was ashamed or joyful; show them through reactions.

A character’s attitude Show Rather than explain a character is uptight or judgmental, show them acting that way or reveal it through lines of dialogue.

A character’s special skills Show Don’t tell readers what a great ﬁ ghter the character is; render or abilities a ﬁ ght scene in which something meaningful is at stake.

Status (dominance/submission) Show Instead of telling readers which character is in charge or who has the highest status, reveal it through stillness, self- control, conﬁ dence and self-assurance.

Tension and suspense Show The more you claim that something is suspenseful or tense, the less it will be. Instead, build tension through engender- ing reader empathy and concern for characters in peril.

Desire (a character’s goal or Show or Tell If you show, do so quickly and clearly. Otherwise, just have intention within a scene) the character state what she’s trying to accomplish.

A progression of events that Tell If nothing tilts in the scene, don’t spend time detailing it. doesn’t change the character’s Instead, just summarize what happened and get to the point attitude, status or situation in the story where things tilt.

A scene that holds major implica- Show These are the core scenes of your book. Play them out. tions for the rest of the story Show your characters facing struggles, taking action, meeting setbacks and recalibrating before moving forward again toward their pursuit.

Stakes Tell Tell readers what will happen if the characters are unsuccess- ful. Be as speciﬁ c as possible, calling attention to deadlines when appropriate.

A character’s appearance Show by Telling Tell readers the details of a character’s hair and clothing, but keep it relevant; the details you include should demonstrate to readers something about the character’s culture, class or individual style.

Decisions Show or Tell Often, it’s best to just tell readers what your characters have decided to do; however, context might provide you unobtrusive ways to show them.

WritersDigest.com I 59

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 59 4/19/18 12:17 PM ADDING SUBTEXT climaxes, the presence of subtext will distract readers from What about those times when you could just tell, but what’s happening onstage in the story. Let those scenes be your characters wouldn’t be so frank—or you want to about what they appear to be about. complicate the meaning a bit, even as you tell readers Say What Isn’t Being Said what’s going on? Th at’s when you need to layer in Dialogue is a great place to layer in subtext. When char- some subtext. acters fl irt or banter, the conversation isn’t typically so Picture the ocean. It looks so calm out there, hardly much about the surface subject they’re discussing, or a ripple at all. But deep down, all sorts of currents and what they’re playfully jibing each other about, but rather riptides fl ow in diff erent directions. the dynamics of the relationship. Th e friendship is being To get to know the ocean, you have to do more than solidifi ed, or romantic interest is being expressed. look at the surface. When a scene is rich in subtext, characters will oft en You have to actually dive in. engage in small talk. Th ey’ll joke around, discuss the Most of the time, there’s something deeper going on in game or the weather, compliment each other’s clothes a story, too: emotion, pain, passion—fl owing, churning, and so on. But readers can tell that there are other surging right there beneath the surface. A relationship is motives or intentions there beneath the surface that mat- forming or deteriorating, an attitude is readjusting, a rev- ter more than the trivialities being discussed. elation is unfolding. When friends give each other a hard time, oft en it’s Subtext is the deeper meaning of a scene, conveyed not a matter of one-upmanship, but rather a way of alongside the events that are occurring on the surface. reaffi rming to each other that they are equals. Oft en, When someone refers to “reading between the lines,” when individuals or characters are fl irting, they’re they’re talking about subtext. verbally sparring with each other, but they don’t want Th ings are not what they appear to be. to win—they want to be won over. You might be telling readers one thing, but you’re Hinting can bring out the romantic subtext: showing something else. When a scene is built primarily on subtext, you don’t “What do you want to do tonight?” trust what’s said, you don’t trust what’s done, you trust “I don’t know. Use your imagination.” what’s implied. “We could play a game.” Subtext is what’s meant but isn’t said. “I like games.” A double entendre can also work: FIXING SUBTEXT ISSUES Subtext can be present during any type of scene—whether “I need to plug in my cord.” that relies on narration, dialogue, the use of silence, “I’ll bet you do.” evasion or the ambiguity of responses. Here are some Oft en, subtext is used to bring depth to triviality. Th e strategies to infuse your scenes with deeper meaning. more trivial the topic of conversation, the more your readers will expect the subtext to be signifi cant. Show the Emotion Behind the Action Readers know that the scene ought to be about some- When narrating (telling), think in terms of juxtaposition. thing that matters—otherwise it doesn’t belong in the Let’s say a woman is digging in the garden, and her book. Because of this, they naturally look for signifi cance husband comes home drunk—again. As they talk, she in what is said and done in a story. Th ey’re trusting that jams the shovel into the ground, then kicks a clod of dirt this scene will carry some importance, that you’re showing out of the way, channeling all of her anger toward him more than you tell. If you aren’t, if everything is as shallow into the way she treats the soil. Consider juxtaposing as it appears on the surface, they will not be happy. actions to show something that wouldn’t have as much impact if you just let a character tell it. Use Silence to Set up Twists However, be aware of the context. Trying to layer sub- Pauses can be used to construct two or more storylines text into every scene will actually hurt your story. In some that would each be believable. Th is can be helpful when sections, such as fi ght scenes, chase scenes or suspenseful foreshadowing or setting up a twist:

60 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 60 4/24/18 8:45 AM S w, D ’t T

“They think I hurt my dad, maybe even killed him. You can’t tell them that you’re helping me.” P On a S w EXERCISES: “I’ll think of something.” “I didn’t stab him, Kyle.” Develop Compelling Characters “I know.” • Write a summary paragraph of a character’s back- “I mean it.” ground. Then write a conversation between two A slight pause. “I know.” characters in which that same information is presented (250 words each). Readers will buy it that Kyle believes his friend, but be- • Consider three of your friends. Make a list of cause of that pause, they would also be willing to accept some characteristics that you’ve observed; not that he didn’t believe him—if that’s where the story goes details of physical appearance, such as hair color in the following pages. or style or height, but quirks of behavior, such as Circumvent to Reveal Intent how they cut their meat, their type of laugh, the When a character changes the subject, there’s always a cadence of their speech. Write a scene in which reason. Evasion speaks volumes. two of these “characters” meet at a party. Try to If one character asks another a direct question and use as many characteristics as possible. that person doesn’t answer, readers will intuit that there’s • Select two characters from your work or two something more going on. people you know. Choose one word to describe each person’s overall personality (e.g., angry, Take a Close Look at What’s Almost Said aggressive, happy, ambitious, etc.). Now write a Th e way things are phrased carries deep meaning and paragraph giving backstory that tells the reader can sometimes contradict what’s actually being said. For why each character has that personality trait. example, there’s a diff erence between saying, “I love you, Arianna,” and, “I do love you, Arianna.” Th ey’re almost the Find Your Narrative Voice same, but they mean two entirely diff erent things. • List several characters that have distinctive and compelling voices. What personality traits come DECIDING HOW MUCH TO INCLUDE through in their narrative voices? Th e amount of subtext you layer in depends on the scene, • What is the criteria you use to help decide your the characters’ attitudes and goals toward each other, and story’s point of view? the literary genre in which you’re writing. Subtext comes • What causes you to connect to or disconnect from moments (actions, words, silences) that can con- from a character’s voice in a story? tain more than one meaning or interpretation. It’s most prevalent in romance, coming-of-age stories and novels Create Suspenseful Conflict revolving around interpersonal struggles. • Make a list of the major and minor internal and Ask yourself what the scene is primarily about—despite external confl icts in your life. Now write a two- what the characters might be saying or doing. What’s page scene where one of them is played out. implied? Th at’s what you want readers to take away with • Write a dramatic scene where a viewpoint charac- them. In relationship-centered stories, let a deeper mean- ter’s internal confl ict plays out externally. ing pervade the scenes, but remove subtext from scenes • Write a scene where the confl ict begins in the where things actually are what they appear to be. character’s head and then externally heats up through the dialogue and action when a second Depending on when you summarize and when you render, character enters the scene. you can make or break your readers’ engagement in your story. By choosing the right moments, you can pull in your readers and never let them go. WD Excerpted from WD University’s The Art of Storytelling 102: Showing vs. Telling. Learn more about this online course at writersonlineworkshops.com/courses/the-art-of- Excerpted from Troubleshooting Your Novel © 2016 by storytelling-102-showing-vs-telling. Steven James, with permission from Writer’s Digest Books.

WritersDigest.com I 61

54_wd0818_WKBK.indd 61 4/24/18 8:45 AM STANDOUTMARKETS

An exclusive look inside the markets that can help you make your mark. BY BAIHLEY GENTRY AND TYLER MOSS

FOR YOUR WEB-FRIENDLY WRITING: Atlas Obscura

WHAT STANDS ABOUT: “Our mission is to inspire wonder and curiosity OUT & WHY: about the incredible world we all share.” A publisher of “best-in-class journalism about hidden places, incredible history, scientiﬁ c marvels and gastro- FOUNDED: 2009. TRAFFIC: More than 5 million unique nomical wonders,” Atlas Obscura spotlights the weird monthly visitors. LENGTH: Varies. “We are seeking every- and wonderful from around the globe. In the short time thing from in-depth reported features and shorter articles since their founding, they’ve earned recognition from with fun angles to maps, photo essays and illustrated The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, The Guardian histories” for the Stories and Gastro Obscura sections. and more; published a New York Times bestselling PAYMENT: Competitive; around $150–500 per article. book (Atlas Obscura: An Explorer’s Guide to the World’s INTERESTS: History, science, culture and exploration. “Our Hidden Wonders); and cultivated a rapidly growing stories generally have at least two of the following three audience that extends beyond digital. Best of all, they’re components: a sense of place, an element of the hidden actively seeking new voices eager to enlighten readers to and a sense of wonder.” HOW TO SUBMIT: Pitches should the hidden treasures of our world. —BG consist of a few paragraphs with basic info about the story idea, how you would execute it and the sources you would use, emailed to [email protected]. DETAILED GUIDELINES: bit.ly/AOguidelines.

FOR YOUR FREELANCE WRITING: Hemispheres

WHAT STANDS OUT & ABOUT: The award-winning ﬂ agship magazine for United WHY: Myriad opportu- Airlines, Hemispheres covers global culture, adventure, nities for articles (as long as technology, food and drink, fashion, business and sports. the topic covers a destination that United ﬂ ies to, it’s fair FOUNDED: 1992. PUBLISHES: Monthly. CIRCULATION: 11 game for coverage) and an million. LENGTH: 150–400 words for Navigator section; extensive audience of more 1,500–2,000 for features. PAYMENT: $1/word. EDITORIAL than 140 million United Airlines travelers make this much- INTERESTS: Look to the Navigator section to break in, with lauded publication a wide open market. Excellent pay stories about food, hotels, souvenirs, museum openings rates and a willingness to work with new writers are the and more, provided there’s an accompanying news peg. icing on the cake. —BG Th e feature well is also open to pitches. HOW TO SUBMIT: Pitches should be sent in the body of an email (include an article headline) with no attachments, with the specifi c section to which you’re pitching in the subject line, to executive editor Nicholas DeRenzo at nicholas.derenzo@ ink-global.com. Include clips of your work, and illustrate why the topic is a good fi t for the magazine.

62 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

62_wd0818_StandoutMarkets.indd 62 4/19/18 12:18 PM FOR YOUR SCI-FI & FANTASY NOVELS: Baen Publishing

ABOUT: “Writers familiar with what we have published in WHAT STANDS OUT & WHY: the past will know what sort of material we are most likely Jim Baen founded Baen to publish in the future: powerful plots with solid scientifi c Books in the early 1980s to and philosophical underpinnings are the sine qua non for provide Simon & Schuster with a consideration for science-fi ction submissions. As for fantasy, new, robust science-fi ction line for any magical system must be both rigorously coherent and distribution. Three decades later, integral to the plot, and overall the work must at least Baen is oftenf namedd among the top publishers of sci-fi strive for originality.” and fantasy in the industry, and their authors have included such notable names as the late Poul Anderson, who won FOUNDED: 1983. PUBLISHES: 5–6 books per month. seven Hugo Awards and three Nebula Awards during his ADVANCE: Varies. ROYALTY: “Very competitive.” LENGTH: illustrious career. Genre authors will fi nd a long-standing 100,000–130,000 words. “Generally we are uncomfort- publisher with a sterling reputation and wide reach. —TM able with manuscripts under 100,000 words, but if your novel is really wonderful send it along regardless of length.” RESPONSE TIME: 9–12 months. HOW TO SUBMIT: “Query letters are not necessary. We prefer to see complete manuscripts accompanied by a synopsis.” Submit via the submission form at baen.com/slush/index/submit, or via mail to Baen Books, P.O. Box 1188, Wake Forest, NC 27588. DETAILED GUIDELINES: baen.com/submit.

FOR YOUR FICTION, NONFICTION AND POETRY: Bellevue Literary Review

ABOUT: “The Bellevue Literary Review was created as a WHAT STANDS OUT & WHY: forum for creatively exploring a broad array of issues in Published by New York medicine and society, using fi ction, nonfi ction and poetry University’s Langone Medical to better understand the nuanced tensions that defi ne our Center, BLR was originally con- lives both in illness and in health.” ceived as “a way to improve com- munication skills and to foster a FOUNDED: 2000. CIRCULATION: 2,500–5,000. PUBLISHES: greater sense of empathy in doctors-in-training.” In the 18 Biannually. READING PERIOD: “We are closed to submis- years since, the target readership (and the background of sions in July and August, but accept new submissions writers) has expanded to the general public, as medicine throughout the rest of the year.” PAYMENT: Pays two and healthcare become an increasingly pervasive topic contributor’s copies, a one-year subscription and a one- in our modern discourse. The journal has earned numer- year gift subscription. READING FEE: $5; goes toward ous accolades, from Pushcart Prize selections to pieces production costs. LENGTH: For prose, 5,000 words included in anthologies like The Best American Essays. or less; for poetry, no more than 3 poems. HOW TO High-profi le past contributors include Rick Moody, Philip SUBMIT: Manuscripts are accepted electronically via Levine, Julia Alvarez and Sharon Olds. —TM the form at bellevueliteraryreview.submittable.com/ submit. DETAILED GUIDELINES: blr.med.nyu.edu/ submissions/guidelines. Baihley Gentry is the associate editor of Writer’s Digest. Tyler Moss is the editor-in-chief of Writer’s Digest.

WritersDigest.com I 63

62_wd0818_StandoutMarkets.indd 63 4/19/18 12:18 PM CONFERENCESCENE

Events to advance your craft, connections and career. BY DON VAUGHAN

Realm Makers Writers Conference Explore the limitless worlds of science ﬁ ction and fantasy at this Christian-inﬂ uenced conference.

WHEN: July 19–21, 2018. WHERE: Westport Sheraton Chalet, St. Louis. PRICE: $369; includes pitch session with agents and editors. Discount rates available for attendees. See website for fee details on manuscript critiques and pre- and post-conference workshops. WHAT MAKES THE CONFERENCE UNIQUE: It bridges the gap between general and inspi- Publishing); agent Steve Laube (Th e Steamboat Springs rational markets while focusing on Steve Laube Agency); and many others. “A Day for Writers” topics specifi c to sci-fi and fantasy. HIGHLIGHTS: An eclectic array of Conference “We serve primarily Christian writers, educational sessions awaits attendees, An emphasis on craft makes this but we acknowledge that every path including Th e Common Pitfalls of boutique conference in the heart to publishing is as unique as the Self Publishing; When Chaos and of Colorado a fun and informative stories our attendees write,” Conference Creativity Collide; Everything You vacation for ﬁ ction writers. Director Becky Minor says. “Our Need to Know About Writing Young goal is to provide a supportive and Adult Fiction; and a special track for WHEN: July 27–28, 2018. WHERE: challenging environment to writers teen writers. Th e New York Times Th e Depot Art Center, Steamboat who oft en otherwise feel like outliers.” bestselling author Tosca Lee off ers a Springs, Colo. PRICE: $18 for Friday WHO IT’S PERFECT FOR: People of fi ve-hour pre-conference workshop evening meet-and-greet dinner faith who love science fi ction, on the habits and skills that help social, $60 for Saturday workshops. fantasy, horror, steampunk and build a successful writing career, Manuscript critique sessions with beyond. “Writers will fi nd content and FightWrite instructor Carla novelist and writing coach Rachel appropriate for those brand-new Hoch hosts a post-conference Weaver, $50 each. See website for

to the craft , as well as those who workshop on how authors can details. WHAT MAKES THE CONFER- GETTY IMAGES: ADVENTURE_PHOTO have established themselves in incorporate combat into their work. ENCE UNIQUE: Th e conference has the publishing landscape,” Minor See website for details. IF YOU GO: the feel of an intimate gathering says. HOW MANY ATTEND: 300. Get your creative juices fl owing among friends. A unique feature of FISH CREEK FALLS © FISH CREEK FALLS FACULTY: Novelists Mary Weber (Th e with a visit to the City Museum. “A Day for Writers” is that it off ers Evaporation of Sofi Snow), Sharon Th is 600,000-square-foot facility is one workshop at a time, Conference

Hinck (Sword of Lyric series), Will housed in the former International Chair Barbara Sparks says. Rather HENDRYX; EMILIE Wight (Th e Traveler’s Gate trilogy), Shoe Company building and boasts than having to choose which break- Nadine Brandes (Out of Time series) a multi-story playground (all ages out to attend, all participants engage and Wayne Th omas Batson (Th e welcome!) craft ed from reclaimed together, adding to the informal and Door Within trilogy); editors Diana items such as salvaged bridges, intimate community feeling. WHO Pho (Tor Books), Jesse Doogan construction cranes and even two IT’S PERFECT FOR: Fiction writers (Tyndale House Publishers) and abandoned airplanes. FOR MORE seeking a combination of inspiration,

Lisa Mangum (Shadow Mountain INFORMATION: realmmakers.net. craft techniques and camaraderie. REALM MAKERS WRITERS CONFERENCE ©

64 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

64_wd0818_ConferenceScene.indd 64 4/19/18 12:19 PM HOW MANY ATTEND: 40. FACULTY: aloud a brief sampling of their work. Novelists Rachel Weaver (Point of IF YOU GO: Take a respite with a visit Direction), John Cotter (Under the to gorgeous Fish Creek Falls, a 280- Small Lights), Cesare Rosati (Th e foot waterfall that’s one of the region’s Brock Saga), and more. HIGHLIGHTS: most popular attractions, located just Workshops include Points of View; minutes from downtown Steamboat Techniques for Revising Your Draft Springs. FOR MORE INFORMATION: Manuscript; and Character, Plot, steamboatwriters.com. WD Tension. Evening fun includes the Don Vaughan (donaldvaughan.com) Friday night dinner buff et, followed is a freelance writer and founder of by a session for attendees to read Triangle Association of Freelancers.

Conference Canon Writing conferences present a great opportunity to improve your craft and advance your career—but the crowds and successful keynoters can also be intimidating for beginners. Follow these eight helpful tips to ensure every conference you attend is a positive experience.

COME PREPARED. Th is includes everything from making sure you have an extra pen for taking notes to researching presenters in advance. Th e better you’ve planned, the greater the takeaway. DON’T BE A WALLFLOWER. Tap into your inner extrovert. Introduce yourself to those around you at dinner and during other social activities, and mention the kind of writing you do. Th ose who share your passions will fi nd you. PARTICIPATE. Ask questions during panel discussions. Allow yourself to be vulnerable: Read a few pages from your work-in-progress at open mic night. In other words, be an inspiration to other writers. (Yes! You have that power!) EXPLORE PANEL DISCUSSIONS AND WORKSHOPS OUTSIDE YOUR GENRE. If you write fi ction, consider a session on creative nonfi ction and vice versa. It could introduce you to new writing opportunities. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR FACE-TIME WITH INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS. How oft en do you get to spend time with nationally recognized authors, top-tier editors and big-time agents looking for new clients? Use the moment to solicit advice that will advance your knowledge of writing and publishing. BELLY UP TO THE HOTEL BAR. When the day is over, this is where everyone will be hanging out. It’s a great opportunity to get to know your fellow attendees as well as industry pros. And you don’t need to drink alcohol to join the conversation—no one will begrudge you a Sprite with lemon. STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR NEW WRITING FRIENDS. Support each other via Facebook, text and email with words of encouragement, by off ering to review each other’s works-in-progress, or by acting as a beta reader. Such support can go a long way toward publishing success. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. Multiday conferences can be exhausting, so choose your activities with care and make sure your schedule allows for suffi cient sleep.

WritersDigest.com I 65

64_wd0818_ConferenceScene.indd 65 4/24/18 1:08 PM CONFERENCE GUIDE

bestselling speakers and informative sessions agents at the popular Pitch Slam event. New CONFERENCE GUIDE across four tracks of instruction, you can York Times bestselling author Walter Mosley JULY/AUGUST 2018 customize your whole weekend to get what you (Charcoal Joe, Devil in a Blue Dress) delivers • Keep in mind that there may be more need out of the program. Register by June 26 the Central Keynote and will inspire you to than one workshop in each listing. for your best price. persevere in your writing career, while New • These workshops are listed alphabeti- Contact: York Times bestselling author Jeff VanderMeer cally by state, country or continent. Ph: 877/436-7764, option 2 (Annihilation, Borne, Wonderbook) closes • Unless otherwise indicated, rates include [email protected] out the weekend with his trademark blend tuition (T) only. Sometimes the rates also www.Novel.WritersDigestConference.com of humor and message that creativity plus include airfare (AF), some or all meals (M), perseverance trumps all. Register by August 9 accommodations (AC), ground transpor- INDIANA for your best price. tation (GT), materials (MT) or fees (F). Contact: • When you find workshops that interest you, be sure to call, email or check the MWW SUPER MINI-CONFERENCE, Ph: 877/436-7764, option 2 website of the instructor or organization sponsored by Midwest Writers Workshop, July [email protected] for additional information. 27–28, 2018 at Ball State Alumni Center, Muncie, www.WritersDigestConference.com • All listings are paid advertisements. IN, Fri 8:30 am-Sat 12:30 pm. A dynamic day- and-a-half with a decidedly different structure— OHIO shorter, smaller, less expensive, with a strong CALIFORNIA emphasis on helping YOU reach your writing INDIELAB: LEARN. NETWORK. goals. This Craft + Community super mini is PROSPER, presented by Writer’s Digest. The designed for writers of every level, offering ANNUAL GREATER LOS ANGELES publishing industry has evolved dramatically 8 in-depth, hands-on interactive sessions WRITERS CONFERENCE, produced over the past decade. With new opportunities taught by experienced, accomplished faculty: by West Coast Writers Conferences. June come new rules, new strategies, new paths J. Brent Bill, Maurice Broaddus, Matthew 22–24, 2018 in Los Angeles, CA. Writers of to success—no one is better equipped than Clemens, Lucrecia Guerrero, Lou Harry, Holly all genres and disciplines benefit from this Writer’s Digest to teach entrepreneurial writers Miller, Barbara Shoup, Larry D. Sweazy. Craft popular educational and inspirational three- and independent publishers how to take full improvement, genre knowledge, finding your day event focused on the craft and business advantage of those opportunities. indieLAB writing community. Fiction, Nonfiction, YA, of writing. Our 20th conference will feature is an interactive gathering for entrepreneurial World-building, Manuscript Makeover, Soulful program tracks for what we call the 3-A’s™ authors, independent publishers, and freelance Creativity. $199. (Aspiring, Active, and Accomplished) for writers Contact: writers seeking to develop a publishing strategy, of fiction, nonfiction, and screenplays. Topics Jama Bigger, MWW Director build a platform, grow an audience, and get will be presented by 40+ literary agents, editors, Ph: 765/292-1055 paid for their work. Join us in our hometown veteran educators, best-selling authors, and [email protected] of Cincinnati on September 29–30, 2018 for industry professionals in progressive streams of www.midwestwriters.org an insightful weekend of innovative strategies, seminars, workshops, and panels. Live critique actionable insights, and invaluable networking. workshops include Great Beginnings for Novels NEW HAMPSHIRE Register by June 5 for the best price. & Screenplays, Query Letters, and more. There Contact: are FREE 1-on-1 pitch sessions with literary Ph: 877/436-7764, option 2 LIVE FREE AND WRITE, presented by agents and publishers looking for new talent [email protected] Murphy Writing of Stockton University. August with polished manuscripts. Take advantage of www.WritersDigest.com/indieLAB informative sessions with the "agents du jour" 12–17, 2018 writing retreat at Dexter’s Inn in to help prepare for your actual meeting. You Sunapee. Spend an inspiring week working on WASHINGTON can also participate in Advance Submission your memoir or poetry. Enjoy the refreshing ProCritiques™ to have a portion of your work New England summer with plentiful writing reviewed/edited by literary agents and/or time, encouraging workshops, homemade meals WOMEN WRITING THE WEST 24TH professional editors who will meet with you at and time to relax. Beginning and experienced ANNUAL CONFERENCE, sponsored by the event to review. Most packages include a writers welcome. Scholarships available. Register Women Writing the West, October 25–28, 2018 Keynote Address with complimentary meals. early and save: at the Marcus Whitman Hotel, Walla Walla, WA. Open to all levels of literary and screenplay www.stockton.edu/murphywriting Women Writing the West supports authors writers. Early registration discount pricing from Contact: and other professionals in promoting women’s $299 for all three days with six-month, same as Peter Murphy contributions to the history and growth of the cash financing available. See website for details. Ph: 609/626-3594 American West and administers the WILLA Contact: [email protected] Literary Awards (submissions open November 1). Tony or Lillian Todaro www.stockton.edu/murphywriting WWW invites all writers to “Trails West: Wagons PO Box 2267 Words, Women.” Pitch your manuscript to an Redondo Beach, CA 90278 NEW YORK agent or editor, network with other writers, gain Ph: 310/379-2650 new insights into writing from panelists and [email protected] WRITER’S DIGEST ANNUAL speakers, all while experiencing the history and www.wcwriters.com/aglawc CONFERENCE, presented by Writer’s beauty of the Pacific Northwest. All levels. $149/ Digest. Join us for the Writer’s Digest Annual night conference rate for accommodations. WRITER’S DIGEST NOVEL WRITING Conference, taking place August 10–12 at Contact: CONFERENCE, presented by Writer’s Digest, the Hilton Midtown in New York City. Hone Shanna Hatfield October 26–28 in Pasadena, CA. The premier your skills and dive deep into your interests! Ph: 541/938-0147 writing conference devoted solely to the novel And if getting published is on your list of [email protected] returns to the West Coast this fall! Featuring goals, pitch your work to 50+ talent-seeking www.WomenWritingtheWest.org

66 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

66_wd0818_Classifieds.indd 66 4/19/18 12:19 PM CLASSIFIEDS: READING NOTICES

EDITORIAL SERVICES CLASSIFIED/DISPLAY ads (cuts, headlines, illustrations, rules, etc.) of 1–3 inches in depth: $375 per inch for 1 issue; WRITING FOR PUBLICATION? $350 per inch for 3; $325 per inch for 6; When you submit your manuscript you have $300 per inch for 8. Typesetting charges only one chance to make an impression. Writing $15 per inch. Larger ads up to 5 inches for publication is a business, and those who will be accepted at special rates; ask for judge your work will expect a fully professional details. Ad prices are calculated on a per product in order to read or accept it. word, per issue basis (20 word minimum). So how can you move your book from “Just OK” All contracts must be prepaid at the time to “Got to have it!” Choose a full service editor Electronic Editing. Free ﬁ ve-page sample. of insertion. $7.25 per word for 1 issue; who can critique, help with plot and character, 40-year professional. Line/content $5.75 per word for 3; $4.75 per word for and polish your work until it gleams. I’ve helped editing; proofreading. Reasonable, 6 or more consecutive issues. Street and writers of all abilities get positive results. competitive rates. References. 605/725-0121 Visit editorontap.com or phone for a chat. number, city, state and ZIP code count as www.theweisrevise.com; 4 words. Area code and phone number I promise, it will make all the difference. count as 2 words. Email and website Lois Winsen 858-521-0844 [email protected] addresses count as 2 words. Editor on Tap will make your work shine! PROFESSIONAL EDITOR, award-winning author A sample of any product and/or literature (Bantam, Berkley/Ace, others) offers extensive you plan to send must accompany your critiques, in-depth editing. Fiction, nonfic- order. Literary Services and Editing/ tion, juvenile/YA. Carol Gaskin, 941/377-7640. Revising advertisers must send a résumé If you need a fresh pair of eyes for your [email protected]; and sample critique. www.EditorialAlchemy.com manuscript, whether for developmental or COMPREHENSIVE DEVELOPMENTAL EDITING. CLOSING DATE FOR THE OCTOBER 2018 copyediting, or basic proofreading, Putt 50+ books sold to Traditional publishers. Turning writers into published authors, and ISSUE IS JUNE 19, 2018. Putt Productions can give your work that manuscripts into major-award-winning books. To advertise, call Jill Ruesch: extra look-through. Familiar with a variety www.maloneeditorial.com (800) 726-9966, ext. 13223. of styles. Hardcopy or MS Word’s Track [email protected] Changes. Starts at $30/hour. EDITORIAL SERVICES from a nurturing but whip-cracking, well-connected author (Bang the Keys, The Great Bravura) who will help you COACHING Visit puttputtproductions.com unleash the true fabulosity in your projects Email [email protected] and bring them to fruition in the real world BLOCKED? STRUGGLING? I'll help you write, before depression or drink destroy your nerve! edit, publish! Breakthrough coaching with for estimate. Fiction, nonfiction, scripts, poetry, theses. Ten published author, experienced editor and percent discount if you mention WD ad. Email: teacher, compassionate mentor. Carol Burbank, [email protected], www.jilldearman.com MA, Ph.D. [email protected], www.carolburbank.com BOOK EDITOR. Former publishing house editor-in-chief. Award-winning/agented clients. Unlock the potential of your manuscript! Nonfiction, YA, thriller, Christian, historical/ literary fiction, and more. Elevate your Want to write a good book? I can help. manuscript to excellence. Jessi Rita Hoffman Helga Schier, PhD, www.JessiRitaHoffman.com published author and former FULL-SERVICE EDITING: Multiple genres. publishing executive, offers powerful, comprehensive, Experienced professional. Thorough. Tough, personalized and effective yet nice. Competitive. Sample edit. Award- editorial services. winning author. [email protected]. Janet, 760/917-6125, www.janetfwilliams.com “When Helga entered the picture, my manuscript went from promising to a published and critically EDITORIAL SERVICES- Experienced, MFA in acclaimed book.” Writing-Sarah Lawrence College. YA and pop- – Ed Driscoll, award-winning comedian and writer GET AN ular fiction specialty. Sample edit. In-depth withpenandpaper.com 310.828.8421 evaluation. [email protected] ALL-ACCESS PASS [email protected] www.shaysiegel.com TO WRITER'S DIGEST DECASP.COM - Stupid name, stupid humor. Just forget it. Submit your funniest material to TUTORIALS FOR some other site. Heed the Gorilla! ONE LOW PRICE A-Z Publishing Services 30 years of unparalleled editorial assistance: DEEP EVERYDAY DISCOUNTS $16.58 per month when paid yearly, Critiquing, editing, proofreading, indexing ON HUNDREDS OF BOOKS, or $25 month to month & more. Agent & publisher submissions. MAGAZINES AND DOWNLOADS tutorials.writersdigest.com [email protected], 602/730-6102, .com www.a2zpublishingservices.com WritersDigestShop

WritersDigest.com I 67

66_wd0818_Classifieds.indd 67 4/19/18 12:20 PM CLASSIFIEDS: READING NOTICES

PRINTING CLASSIFIEDS: www. WE TYPE MANUSCRIPTS 48HrBooks.com Advertising rates for a WE TYPE 800-231-0521 [email protected] MANUSCRIPTS (6 line listing): After years of work writing your book, $200 for one issue; $450 for three you deserve some Instant GratiÀcation! issues; $650 for six issues; $800 for eight issues. Payment in full must 9 Fastest Books in the World accompany the order. Rates apply to Our Normal turnaround is just: WRITER’S ORGANIZATIONS consecutive issues. A sample typed 2 days for Perfect Bound books manuscript page must accompany 5 days for Casebound and Spiral Bound initial order. Prices quoted in listings refer to a standard manuscript page 9 Exceptional Quality double-spaced with 1¼ " margins on all sides. To order or to obtain more 9 Low Prices Career-Focused Writers & Editors information, contact: Writer’s Digest 9 We even ANSWER our phones Learn what works NOW in publishing, marketing, freelancing. Join the professional association that gets you online Typists, 700 E. State St., Iola, WI Get instant answers via phone or email. and into the 21st century! Visit our website for free ezine and list of best free resources. http://naiwe.com/bonus/wd.php 54990, (800)726-9966, ext. 13223. • Instant Pricing on our website NAIWE • P.O. Box 549 • Ashland, VA 23005 Fax: (715)445-4087. • Easy ordering PAYMENT by credit card accepted with www. advertising orders 48HrBooks.com of three or more 800-231-0521 [email protected] Special Archival consecutive issues. INTERVIEW CLOSING DATE FOR THE OCTOBER COLLECTIONS 2018 ISSUE IS JUNE 19, 2018. SCRIPTWRITING To advertise, call Jill Ruesch: NOW AVAILABLE: (800) 726-9966, ext. 13223. GET YOUR NOVEL OR STORY IDEA PRODUCED AS A MOTION PICTURE

HollywoodWritersStudio.com ARIZONA or write: 1437 Rising Glen Road, LA, CA 90069 BARBARA ALLEN WRITERS' SERVICES 9462 N. Albatross Dr., Tucson, AZ 85742 Ph: 520/744-9318, [email protected] Web Page: BAwriterservices.com SELF-PUBLISHIING THE AWARD-WINNING WRITERS Manuscript typing; transcription; database; minor editing; Paypal available. COLLECTION, FEATURING: Isabel Allende • Dorothy Allison • Michael Chabon • Dave Eggers • Jeffrey Eugenides • Lawrence Ferlinghetti • Ted Kooser COLORADO • Joyce Carol Oates • Z.Z. Packer JEAN TURK, formerly JME WORD PROCESSING • Robert Pinsky • Richard Russo 635 W. Jefferson St., Trinidad, CO 81082 • Jane Smiley • Anne Tyler 720/416-5208, [email protected] • John Updike • Alice Walker Manuscript & screenplay typing, syntax editing, transcription. Experienced, fast, accurate, LOOK FOR THESE OTHER dependable. Cash, checks, Paypal. VALUE-PACKED COLLECTIONS: • Thriller Writers • Kids & Young Adult Writers • Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers • Nonfiction Writers NEW JERSEY • Literary Writers • Bestsellers PATTY SHANNON, formerly WORDSTATION PDF DOWNLOADS • $8.99 EACH 23 Carter Way, Brick, NJ 08723 Ph: 800/538-8206; [email protected] Exclusively at WritersDigestShop.com Friendly service since 1989. Free sample pages; spelling/grammar/punctuation corr. Any format. (No urban fiction please). Visa/MC/AmEx. Call for rates/brochure.

68 I WRITER’S DIGEST I July/August 2018

66_wd0818_Classifieds.indd 68 4/19/18 12:20 PM 69_wd0818_RD.indd 69

ADVERTISEMENT PHOTO © YO/FOTOLIA.COM FIND OVER700PRODUCTSONLINEAT 1. 2. EASY ORDEROPTIONS Your One-StopShopfor Great Books, For fastestservice,bestselectionandthedeepestdis- expires onSept.1,2018. counts, order onlineatWritersDigestShop.com. to enter to activatefree shippingonanyU.S.order. Thisoffer code Call usat 5 p.m.MountainTime.Please when calling. when calling. Magazines, Downloads &More at USE OFFER SAVE UPTO 65% on GreatWriting Books! • • •

SAVE ANEXTRA10% FREE SHIPPING DEEP EVERYDAY DISCOUNTS of books,magazines,CDsanddownloads (use code offer code (855) 840-5124 Incredible Savings!

CODE WD0818 WD0818 WD0818 Mondaythrough Friday, 8a.m.to inthewebsiteShoppingCart mention Offer Code onallU.S.orders WHENPLACING YOUR ORDERBY PHONEORONLINEAT WRITERSDIGESTSHOP.COM ) withourVIPprogram WD0818 Be sure onhundreds AND LOOKFORUSON: JOIN THEWRITER’S DIGESTVIPPROGRAM Writer’s Digest Save all orders through ourshop,plusreceive 1-yearsubscriptionsto SAVE 10%ONYOURORDERS FORAFULLYEAR Save evenmore withournewloweronlineprices!Noneedto FREE STANDARD SHIPPING! WD0818 fantastic discountsat visit For afullyear, youcanreceive anadditional10%discountoff For allorders placedbySept.1,2018,usingoffer code NEW LOWERPRICES! search around forthebestpricesonwritingbooks—you’ll ﬁ WritersDigestShop.com/writers-vip-us WithWriter’s DigestShop! advice byfollowing Become afanofourpage: Find great tips,networking and facebook.com/writersdigest (U.S.addresses withU.S.Postaldeliveryonly). magazineandWritersMarket.com. Formore info, WritersDigestShop.com @writersdigest . . WritersDigest .com nd 4/19/18 12:22 PM I 69 69_wd0818_RD.indd 70 Make ‘EmLaughWithHelpFromWDBooks USE OFFER WRITE- Th TO TO EXPANDED REVISED RULES WRITING 400 Damn F WRiting comedY e STORY BRAIN THE BEST-SELLING GUIDE TO WRITING LIBERATE MASTERING MASTERING THE TOOLS OF A POWERFULNARRATIVE MORE THAN150,000COPIESSOLD! Secr FUNNY & GETTING PAIDFUNNY &GETTING FORIT MARK SHATZ EXERCISES CHUCK WENDIG WITHOUT O 3RD EDITION with ets

YOUR WRITING Workbook MELHELITZER JEFF SOMERS WITHOUT GUIDELINES,EXPERTS, HOW TO WRITE& SELL A NOVEL OR (OCCASIONALLY) PANTS BONNIE i ne NEUBAUER

CODE

*Sales prices listed were correct at the time of publication but may fl Writing WithoutRules The Write-Brain Workbook Revised &Expanded Without Rules Without & Expanded We’ve allstared down blank the page more than afew times.Brimming With unconventional approaches to craft the Damn FineStory with 400stimulating writing prompts, writing and platform-building, and ahealthy of dose humor, Discover secrets of the humor writing that willkeep your readers rolling By Chuck Wendig Jeff By By Mark Shatz with Mel Helitzer NeubauerBy Bonnie Comedy Writing Secrets Great storytelling ismaking readers care about your characters, the Chuck Wendig willhelp you internalize feel the of storytelling. powerful forms and more. Write, scrawl, and scribble dream on page—the each feel the tensionfeel the and emotion of asituation right alongside your protago- for successon own their terms. in their seats. Learn the basicsof the seats.in their Learn joke construction, as well asin-depth nist. Andto tell a damn fi possibilities for creativity are endless! that caring happens. Using amixof personal stories, pop fi expectations, build momentum the of adaily writing practice, sample new out-loud funny—and leave readers wanting more. online markets. With comedy-writing techniques that you can apply to avariety of print and choices make and they what happens to It’s them. making your audience on challenge tackling the of writing and selling anovel—and are ready and traditional storytelling terms, WD0818 Somers WHENPLACING YOUR ORDERBY PHONEORONLINEAT WRITERSDIGESTSHOP.COM will help you write without pressure the of preconceived isfor writers those are who looking for arefreshing take Comedy Writing Secrets 3rd Edition WritingComedy Secrets ne story, you needtounderstand why and how , New YorkNew Times 3rd Edition Th eWrite-Brain Workbook Revised uctuate slightly. Visit the WDShop for current discount prices. , fresh angles on novel best-selling author best-selling , you’ll laugh- be ction ction examples Writing Writing YOUR PRICE: YOUR PRICE: YOUR PRICE: YOUR PRICE: RETAIL: RETAIL: RETAIL: RETAIL: ITEM # ITEM # ITEM # ITEM # 1990 R6364 T8654 T1875 $17.99 $17.99 $17.99 $26.99 $ $8.99* $9.99* $12.99* 4/19/18 12:22 PM

ADVERTISEMENT 69_wd0818_RD.indd 71 ADVERTISEMENT Write Your StoryWithTheseOnlineWorkshops your work. your you doreadings and presentations, and help you market Instructor William Kenower will guideyou through several If you love to write and have you astory want to tell, only the No matter what genre you write, having comedy-writing in this course helpin this willalso you how learn to connect with techniques you can you to keep use yourself out of trou- the and few Facebooktoo Twitter friends followers, but fear. thing that can stand you between and successyou’re the ters and more engaging stories, enhance your creativity tools inyour toolbox can help you write stronger charac- editors and publishers, make you more memorable when one loves to laugh!). Th ble and misery caused byble and fear—and misery stay creative inthe fl seeking is notseeking craft and build relationship adeeper with your audience (every- Comedy Writing Workshop WORKSHOP LENGTH: WORKSHOP LENGTH: Fearless Writing USE OFFER ability, lacking agent, agood or having

CODE ecomedy-writing skillsyou nurture WD0818

6 weeks 4 weeks WHENPLACING YOUR ORDERBY PHONEORONLINEAT WRITERSDIGESTSHOP.COM

TUITION: TUITION: $299.99 $229.99 ow. write and goals for toidentify writing the itself. writing exercises alldesignedto help you write apower- Learn howLearn to avoid dreaded the responses of “so what?” Bring readers into your with personal essays. experiences Learn howLearn to adapt your own life stories into amem- ful memoir thatful willengage readers for years to come. memoirs aswell asmemoir-writing prompts, participate internal editor to help with revision. Th in ongoing informal discussions and self-directed learn into an unforgettable You’ll tale. at alook take personal help you investigate origins the of your personal desire to details, your trusting intuition and developing askilled oir with tips and techniques for your structuring stories WORKSHOP LENGTH: and “I guessyou there” hadto be by utilizing sensory writersdigestuniversity.com All Available Courses! Learn MoreLearn About Fundamentals Writing thePersonal Essay 101: Writing theMemoir101 WORKSHOP LENGTH: 6 weeks 12 weeks 12 TUITION: e course will also ecourse willalso TUITION: $329.99 $379.99 4/19/18 12:23 PM POTPOURRIFORTHEPEN

An aromatic blend of writerly diversions.

PAWSOME PUNS What if these stories went to the dogs? See if you can guess each literary classic’s canine-pun title in the four images below.

A. B.

C. D.

Images courtesy of Better. Learn more at better.org.uk/library/activities/reading-groups. CORRECT ANSWERS: A. HARRY PAWTER, B. MUTTILDA, C. MARY PUPPINS, D. ROMEO & DROOLIET & ROMEO D. PUPPINS, MARY C. MUTTILDA, B. PAWTER, HARRY A. ANSWERS: CORRECT

QUOTATION QUIBBLES STRONG OPEN Write a fi rst sentence on the lines below Which of the following classic for a story about a mouse who burgles literary characters uttered the cheese (e.g. Mick Rodenthal laid out the quote to the right? “I mingle plan to steal the block of Swiss, but in its A. HERCULE POIROT, Murder on with my peers current state, it was full of holes). the Orient Express B. GILDEROY LOCKHART, or no one, and Harry Potter and the since I have no Chamber of Secrets peers, I mingle C. IGNATIUS J. REILLY, A Confederacy of Dunces with no one.” Love your line? Tweet it to @WritersDigest, D. LADY CATHERINE DE BOURGH,

and we just might share it with our more than Pride and Prejudice 700,000 followers! C ANSWER: CORRECT

72 I WRITER’S DIGEST July/August 2018

72_wd0818_Potpourri.indd 72 4/19/18 12:23 PM OCTOBER 26–28 | PASADENA The Westin Pasadena

YOUR NOVEL, YOUR DREAM, YOUR CONFERENCE.

3 days of learning, 4 tracks to explore and the opportunity to learn how to produce a tightly crafted novel as compelling to agents and editors as it is to readers—and it’s all backed by nearly 100 years of experience.

Hurry—best pricing ends June 26! REGISTER NOW! Novel.WritersDigestConference.com

#NWC18 events

72_wd0818_Potpourri.indd C3 4/19/18 12:23 PM People DO judge a book by its cover . . . Elevate your cover design with

"OPUIFSFYDMVTJWFGSPN)S#PPLT Diamond 3D ćFTFQIPUPTKVTUEPOUEPJUKVTUJDFćJTJTOPUKVTUB CoversBSFBOJOFYQFOTJWFXBZUPSFBMMZTUBOEPVUGSPN %FČFDUJUTBDUVBM%QSJOUJOHUIBUZPVDBOTFFBOE UIF DSPXE )JHIMJHIU B DPVQMF PG FMFNFOUT PO ZPVS GFFM4FFWJEFPPGJUPOPVSXFCTJUF 48HrBooks.com. DPWFSDIPPTFZPVSCPPLUJUMF BOENBZCFBOJNQPSUBOU EFTJHOFMFNFOU8FMMNBLFUIFNTUBOEPVUyMJUFSBMMZ :PVSCPPLDPWFSNBZCFUIFNPTUJNQPSUBOUBTQFDU PGNBSLFUJOHZPVSCPPL.BLFTVSF:063DPWFSBU- USBDUTUIFBUUFOUJPOJUEFTFSWFT

Side view of a Diamond 3D Cover: ,W·VQRWMXVWD'HIIHFWLW·VDFWXDOO\ 'SULQWLQJWKDW\RXFDQVHHDQG)((/ 800-231-0521800 231 0521 [email protected] UI4U48t"LSPO 0IJP

72_wd0818_Potpourri.indd C4 4/19/18 12:24 PM