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Students' Sick and Tired'of Fake News

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Students' Sick and Tired'of Fake News Suffolk University Digital Collections @ Suffolk Suffolk Journal Suffolk University Student Newspapers 2007 Newspaper- Suffolk Journal Vol. 67, No. 20, 04/01/2007 Suffolk Journal Follow this and additional works at: https://dc.suffolk.edu/journal Recommended Citation Suffolk Journal, "Newspaper- Suffolk Journal Vol. 67, No. 20, 04/01/2007" (2007). Suffolk Journal. 468. https://dc.suffolk.edu/journal/468 This Newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Suffolk University Student Newspapers at Digital Collections @ Suffolk. It has been accepted for inclusion in Suffolk Journal by an authorized administrator of Digital Collections @ Suffolk. For more information, please contact [email protected]. F Celebrating 70 years as Suffolk University’s awfulest student newspaper Suffolk University • Boston, Massachusetts Volume 67, Number 20 www.suffolkjournal.net Sunday, April 1, 2007 Students 'sick and tired’ of fake news Jasmine McCormick_______professional wrestler and leg­ Journal Staff endary Texan, Stan Hansen. Renowned as "The Unsinkable In a tragic repeat oflast year's Battleship" in Japan he is the only eventsmillions of collegestudents man to have piimed puroresu leg­ returning to class Monday were ends Antonio Inoki and Giant confounded by mock stories pub­ Baba in singles title matches. lished in student newspapers. But Hansen's legend does not Running the gamut from minor end there, in a famed 1990 inter- annoyance to righteous indigna­ promotional match against Big tion students across the nation are Van Vader of New Japan Pro responding to student publica­ Wrestling Hansen punched Vader tions' feeble attempts at humor. in the face for real, resulting in A student at Baylor University Vader's eye popping out of the has begun a campaign to ban any socket and it was the sickest thing further satirical reporting by I've ever seen. I've got it on DVD Baylor's Lariat. and make a point of watching it Describing her organization as before every trip I make to Texas representing, "a silent majority of or if I'm going to the Texas Wham! reunites forCentennial Conceit students who are fed up with the Roadhouse for dinner. Clearly the confusion caused by student Lariat has earned the right to runa "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" hitmakers Wham! will reunite for one night onlyfor Suffolk's newspapers published during the humor story every now and April highly anticipated Centennial Concert. One of the most successful acts of the '80s, band mem­ first week of April" Bethany with such an esteemed pedigree. bers George Michael and Andrew RIdgeley ended their collaboration In 1986, vowing to never Andricks has found that a number And if she thinks otherwise worktogether again. However, "when Suffolk approached us, we couldn't resist," said Michael. of her fellow students are consis­ Andricks can take it up with ‘And yes I will keep In my pants,” he added. Although his contract has a ‘no arrest” clause. tently upset by phony newsstories Fuchinkan (which means in their campus media aroundthis Unsinkable Battleship, according time of year. to Wikipedia) "Last year I missed twoclasses Other students, such as Ram gets rammed, no suspects because the Lariat published a Appalachian State senior Keith fake story about terrorist threats Getchell, had less sand in their against the campus shuttle," said vaginas. "That one story about Andricks as she scanned an issue some professor or TA being arrest­ of the Lariat, "Two years ago I ed for forcing a student to give held a protest and spent out of him a hand job for an A was kind pocket on posters because the of a shock until one of my friends Lariat said that the Board of pointed out that it was an April Regents had instituted segrega­ Fools edition," said Getchell, shiv­ tion. Someone has to stop them ering as he dredged up the painful from puttingout these lies." memory, "after that I sort of Since starting the Baylor chuckled at some of it, I mean, it University Student Coalition to wasn't “Zoolander” but it was kind Prevent Dishonest Journalism of funny." Jennifer Schneider, (BUSCPDJ) last May Andricks Editor-in-chief of ASU's student has connected with many students newspaper with similar trauma. The Appalachian, respondedto With 35 members (or .003 per­ Getchell's comments with a mix­ cent of the student body) ture of shock and horror, "The pro­ BUSCPDJ has not been a com­ fessor hand job story was plete success, "oh God, before I absolutely true, it's unfortunate Catnip Robinhlll -Journal Staff even convened the first meeting I that our publication date threw "It was wicked awesome,” said witness Harry Paratestes of Ramrod’s gruesome death. had friends asking me if I was some students off but it actually retarded," recalled Andricks, happened." Figbert von Munchenhausen all we know right now." LongstockingLLR "They simply could not under­ Reached for comment later in Journal Staff Officials also detailed that the "One time we caught that dood stand the painof being duped by a his apartment Getchell expressed Ram was also shotin the head fol­ with'a an escort from Craigslist on news source I had once trusted." disgust with The Appalachian, Civic leaders and Beacon Hill lowing impact, indicating that his lap snorting Meth off of her Andricks is adamant about push­ "No school supported publication residents are celebrating the recent someone was clearly looking to chest. He was no good, that guy," ing her group's agenda until, should be running that smut." death of one of Suffolk end his life. Lanngstrumpf said. "every college newspaper is held before asking to be left alone for University's most influential icons: Some sources speculate that While Beacon Hillers and some to the high standards I want the the evening. When pressed for The Ram. various parties might have had an Administration officials are Lariat held to" while at the same comment Getchell revealed that The victim. Rod "Ramrod" interest in curbing his "randy, heralding the Ram's death as an time advocating that would be his agendafor the evening includ­ Rammington, 100, of Roxbury goat-like, rowdy ways." end of a "reign of terror" on the humorists leave such material to ed a "totally sweet" marathon of was looking for grass around the Ramrod's death is far from sur­ area, many students are saddened "professionals likeBen Stiller." Gears of War multiplayer fol­ Tremont Street area when he was prising, many say, given his pen­ by the loss. Suggesting that the federal lowed by a session of "jackin' fatally struck by a newly-pur- chant for boozy Beacon Hill "Who am I going to slam cheap government should limit humor it...raw" to massive amounts of chased, elaborately painted Chevy soirees and massive crack addic­ vodka with on Tuesday nights licenses to such publications pornography, including over 9 Tahoe SUV, according to senior tion. now?" asked a apprehensive fresh­ Andricks clearly has an axe to gigabytes of Cumfiesta.com con­ administrationofficials. "That guy...he was always man male. grind against her school's publica­ tent, he had bittorrented on his lap­ "It's a car, it has four wheels, fucked up, making noise, disturb­ "I've lost my best friend and all tion which was named after the top while connected to ASU's wi­ two axels, and some windows," ing the neighbahs," said his land­ sense of focus." Donations will be finishing move of famed Gaijin fi network. said a senior police official, "that's lord, Jeff Langstrumpf, of accepted inroom D428. Suffolk University • Boston, Massachusetts Volume 67, Number 20 www.suffolkjournal.net Wednesday, April 4, 2007 Students feel effects of rising Dorchester crime Ian Griffner Journal Staff The rising homicide rate in Dorchester has been grabbing attention throughout Boston in recent months and is affecting col­ arriaica‘Plain_r^'-'’ lege smdents, including those from Suffolk, . C203Yir- ' 'Meeting House that are either originallyfrom or are current­ ly livingthere. According to the Boston Police Department, homicides are up compared to Forest Hills thefirst three months of last year. By April 1, 2006 there had been ten homicides in Boston, this year in the same time periodthere havebeen 16. rn'aaltfl Adding to the interest in the murders in Dorchester is the shocking nature ofmany of the killings. One such incident involved an 18-year- old man who was shot in the head in broad dayhght on a crowded MBTA bus last week. Another was 22-year-old Chiara Levin, a murders on the news, Yahoo! Maps resident of New York City, who was fatally and now avoids staying “As with any bad news An Increase in violence In Dorchester has had varying effects on wounded after a late night party in outsidein Dorchester. eventuallyyou become Suffolk’s student body, reactions range from Indifference to fear, Dorchester. "We feel like our desensitized” The woman is believed to have been an area is right in the mid­ innocent bystander and not the target of the dle of it," said Smith. Gustave Cadet Dorchester around a year hood. Joe Poles, a freshman and native of shooting. Levin's death led directly to con­ Smith now carpools Junior ago and though she admits Beaumont Street in Dorchester is upset troversial decision to return to Boston by the with her roommates to that there are dangerousabout the risein violence. Guardian Angels, a volunteer vigilante travel through .............. ----- ' = areas in Dorchester, does Poles is specifically upset with the group formed in New York to combat vio­ Dorchester and only remains outside to walk not find the reports of violence troublesome. increase in bystander violence, implying lent crime in 1979. from her apartment to the T-station and back "It doesn't reallybother me," said Saliga.
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