OBLAQ▼E in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas▼ in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼enery ▼eritas in ▼

ISS▼E N▼MBER FI▼E IN THE OBLAQ▼E SERIES OBLAQ▼E ▼ ▼I N VENERY VERITAS ▼ ▼ ▼ ISSUE NUMBER FIVE IN THE OBLAQUE SERIES ▼ ▼ A BLAKE’S 7 ADULT FANZINE ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ PUBLISHED BY: ▼ ▼ ▼ OBLIQUE PUBLICATIONS ▼ ▼ P. O. BOX 43784 ▼ ▼ TUCSON, AZ ▼ ▼ ▼ USA 35733-3784 ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ Oblaque V is available in print. ▼ ▼ Send SASE to the above address. ▼ ▼ Or, send an email to [email protected] ▼ ▼ http://www.oblique-publications.net ▼ ▼ Other publications are also available. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ Age statement required with order. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ WARNING: THIS ZINE CONTAINS SAME SEX, ADULT ▼ ▼ ORIENTED MATERIAL. IT WILL NOT BE SOLD TO ▼ ▼ ▼ ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN. ▼ ▼ ▼  ▼ Oblaque V: in venery veritas is an amateur publication, copyright May 1991 ▼ by Oblique Publications. All rights reserved. This copyright is not intended to ▼ ▼ infringe upon nor conflict with other holders of Blake’s 7 copyrights including ▼ ▼ Terry Nation and the BBC. No reprints of any type are permitted without express, ▼ written permission of the publisher and individual contributors involved. ▼ ▼ ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼C ONTENTS VENERY ▼ ▼ Incipit 4 ▼ ▼ M. Fae Glasgow ▼ ▼ ▼ IN VITRO ▼ ▼ Glass House 15 ▼ ▼ K. Thomas & D. D. M. ▼ ▼ Heatstroke 19 ▼ ▼ Gael X. Ile ▼ ▼ ▼ EST QUAEDAM FLERE VOLUPTAS ▼ ▼ Cat’s Cradle I 29 ▼ ▼ Sebastian ▼ ▼ Cat’s Cradle II 40 ▼ ▼ Sebastian ▼ ▼ ▼ VENERY ▼ ▼ In Medias Res 47 ▼ ▼ M. Fae Glasgow ▼ ▼ ▼ SUA CUIQUE VOLUPTAS ▼ ▼ Lights Out, A Game of Tag, Part III 65 ▼ 2 ▼ Caroline Dare ▼▼▼ ▼ ▼ In Vino Veritas 73 ▼ ▼ Cally Donia ▼ ▼ ▼ FINEM RESPICE ▼ ▼ And Dreaming, Awake 85 ▼ ▼ Emma Scot ▼ ▼ Caveat Emptor 95 ▼ M. Fae Glasgow ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ VENERY ▼ ▼ Ante Mortem 115 ▼ ▼ M. Fae Glasgow ▼ ▼ ▼ THE DOME CYCLE ▼ ▼ Should Auld Acquaintance 128 ▼ ▼ M. Fae Glasgow ▼ ▼ ▼ VENERY ▼ ▼ Terminus 144 ▼ ▼▼ M. Fae Glasgow

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼I NTRODUCTION ▼ ‘In venery veritas,’ theme of this fifth issue of Oblaque, ▼ ▼ is also a twist of the well-known Latin phrase ‘in vino ▼ veritas’—in wine, the truth. Well the truth, veritas, seems ▼ ▼ simple enough, but venery is rather more obscure. It is ▼ ▼ not a word much favored today—indeed my dictionaries ▼ ▼ all refer to it as archaic—but it does possess the distinction ▼ ▼ of having two different meanings each deriving from ▼ separate Latin roots. The first meaning is the gratifica- ▼ ▼ tion or indulgence of sexual desire (from venus or love), ▼ ▼ while the second is the practice or act of hunting; the ▼ ▼ chase (from venari or to hunt). Even more interesting, the ▼ ▼ possible Indo-European base for both venus and venari ▼ is wen meaning to strive for; desire. How appropriate for ▼ ▼ this zine! Oblaque V is filled with stories of venery ▼ ▼ documenting the tremendous back and forth struggle ▼ ▼ between Avon and Blake, the terrible sexual tension that ▼ ▼ continually threatens to annihilate them, and the con- ▼ nection between them that they cannot seem to sever ▼ ▼ even over distance or time. ▼ ▼ Contributors to this issue include Sebastian, Caroline ▼ ▼ Dare, and K. Thomas & D. D. M. Everything else is by the ▼ Glaswegian (who else?). Spelling is, as usual, the odd 3 ▼ mixture of old and new British spellings, New World ▼▼▼ versions of words, and long bits that are ‘completely made up’ (the Glaswegian’s contribution). Punctuation is also on the idiosyncratic side. Oh, and for those who have been asking. No, the Glaswegian does not use a thesaurus; neither does she use a dictionary while she is writing. If a word is not forthcoming from her tiny brain, then she makes one up on the spot. ‘ Ardure’ in Caveat Emptor is a perfect example of this process. It is now declared to mean the noun form of arduous and it sounds very nice when paired with the real word ordure. A last word of thanks to LDM who generously moved his computer working time to days and left me the evenings for the inevitable final crunch before deadline.

Caroline K. Carbis, Editor

*For the new reader. The slash mark ‘/’ is called an oblique stroke in Britain. Thus, when you write slash fiction in Blake’s 7, you oblique Blake’s 7 and get Oblaque. Quite simple really.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼V ENERY ‘Incipit,’ or here begins. Yes, here begins the ▼ ▼ first of the four Venery tales. Here begins the ▼ ▼ telling of Blake and Avon and Vila and their ▼ tangled, tangled relationships, from Avon and ▼ ▼ Blake’s first meeting to their ineluctable ren- ▼ ▼ dezvous on Gauda Prime and beyond. ▼ ▼ Here begins the hunt. ▼ ▼ Here begins desire. ▼ Here begins Venery. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ INCIPIT ▼ ▼ ▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ 4 H E WAS GOING TO HAVE AVON. he could. He knew it. Knew that he could take ▼▼▼ ▼ He had known that from the very first all that bitterness and pain away, make Avon instant his eyes had feasted upon that whole once more, give him light to leaven the transparent armour of cynicism which barely darkness, give him hope to make the road veiled the wounded core of the man. Avon less long. He could do it. He would do it, even needed him. He knew it. Knew it with such if Avon, in what Blake thought was surely depth and conviction that it went beyond pain and fear and festering wounds, fought reason, as far beyond reason as the chasms him on this, even if Avon thought that crawling of the mind could take it. Nor had it been into a hole and pulling his skin taut around some sure and gentle knowledge seeping himself was the best way to deal with what- slowly into his bones, settling down into the ever tragedy had filleted him like this. Blake empty spot so cosily prepared for it. Oh, no, could mend him, could suture the gaping it hadn’t been like that at all. Staring at Avon, wounds, could ease the pain… it had happened, abruptly, between one breath Amidst the hollow echoes of the prison and the next, a sudden shift in the Universe ship, amidst the sussurous whispers of those and his life and death were combined into the trying to form new rules to fit this mobile form that was Avon. Avon: cold, hard, shat- purgatory, he would sit and watch, feasting tered Avon, turning haughty shoulder to him, his eyes on Avon’s beauty, drinking from him elegant profile cutting him out, ignoring him as flood after drought. Oh, he knew he could as the well-bred ignored the plebeian masses. do so very much to help heal Avon, but there But he was going to have Avon. Avon were other reasons as well and he was no fool needed him, he was sure of that. Avon was to ignore them for fear that they might tarnish bleeding on the inside, leaving his face pallid his image as hero. There was no-one to know and wan, skin lifeless like eyes that looked what thoughts lived in his head and he saw only inward where nothing but loss and grief himself as no hero. Just a man, only a man, lived. But Blake could change that, he knew one who was too much a coward to lie down

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ and die. Or so he saw himself anyway, ignor- loving. ing the shining awe that brightened other Not with a man like Avon in front of him. eyes, that filled other faces when they stared Even dressed as the embezzler was, in the at him in the wake of defeated or diminished same nondescript greyness that had almost— guards. almost—let him blend in enough to escape, No hero. That was not his sobriquet for there was a fey beauty to the man that was himself. There was no single word for him any irresistible. The cant of his head, the arch of more, not after the psychomanipulators had his brows, the line of jaw, the long leanness of done their jobs with such excessive zeal. leg, the shine of hair, all of it conspired to Cogito, ergo sum. His capable engineer’s hands make Blake search frantically for reasons to turned that over and over for him to examine, make this man his own. And, of course, he reminding him to be grateful for that year’s had to go no farther than the droop of lips and esoteric study which had supposedly been to the puzzled grief of the eyes to do that. No unlock the ancient secrets of engineering farther than his own bottomless well of love, once more. He had found no such secrets, no all stored up for just such a man as this. lost skills that had not been rediscovered by Yes. He would have him. Man since those days of such simple Soon. treacheries. No, not a single technical secret, The thief—Vila?—was chattering at him, but so many glittering prizes of freedom and endless snakechain of words, useless infor- thought. Cogito, ergo sum. But then, the Fe- mation guilelessly piled so high that one deration had made a mockery of that ancient barely noticed the indispensable truths philosophy, proving how easy it is to change flickering quietly in the dark. Surrounded by the basic tenets of Mankind. He had thought, the metal of the London, inundated by the but he had not been. More empty even than smells of so much fear herded so closely Avon was now, although his brain had been together, he gave his hearing to Vila, a veritable whirlpool of thought. So many memorising every word, but gave all his sight 5 ▼▼▼ thoughts, but he himself had been long since to Avon. gone, buried and altered and hidden away. So heart-rendingly beautiful. And so ob- No, he knew perfectly well that mere thinking viously heartbroken himself. Still listening to wasn’t enough. It was, he reflected, dredging Vila, sparing a thought to what had caused up yet another of the rusty old memories, the irked bitterness in the thief’s voice, he dusting off the old skill, searching for the stared at the subject of the monologue: Avon. right word and smiling to himself when he Such melancholy beauty, such gothic despair, found it, yes, it was not cogito that mattered: how could Blake stop himself from wonder- that could be said of a computer, of a ‘smart’ ing what had caused such depression. A car, of an automatic investment brokerage broken love affair? A lover left behind whilst account. It was, he looked carefully at the Avon was transported? A lover who had word and at the man who had reminded him betrayed him, trapping him, selling him to of it, amo, ergo sum. Amo. I love, therefore I am. the Federation, breaking the spirit of the man? He looked at it again, carefully, measuring A sudden movement, and Avon was glow- it against Avon’s beauty, against the sweet ering, staring, the haughtiness of the élite sadness of that mouth, against the bitter polishing his features, his sneer a work of art, dark eyes. a mere mortal slinking off away from him, Yes. tugging forelock in instinctive subordination. I love, therefore I am. They couldn’t take No, he thought, still daring to stare at Avon, that away from him, not now, not ever. They his own heart and mind focussed on that lone could take his thoughts, and they surely had, hauteur sitting there in such elevated lone- filling his head with new ones; they could liness. Not broken, not this one. break his spirit, make him as dull as the Merely…bruised, Blake decided, noticing the drugged boys who had pointed the finger of blueness that made the eyes look as sunken guilt at him. But they couldn’t stop him from as a corpse. Avon deigned to see him and then

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

there was a slightly, very insolently cocked but it was different with Avon. So very, very eyebrow, the merest hint of attention, and different. He could, he confessed to himself Blake was firmly put in his place by a spirit with a chuckle of his own, old rueful humour, that had yet to begin to bend. analyse the truth into extinction, could ex- But then, Blake was hardly a man of amine his emotions with clinical care, could broken spirit either, was he, now? Before, oh, take it all apart and test it time and again, but before when he had thought ‘Blake’ within when it came right down to it, he had no the privacy of his own mind, there had been reasons, only justifications and nothing, no answering image, no cohesive rationalisations. What it amounted to, what whole that said, ‘this is who I am: Blake.’ it meant was, quite simply, that his mind had Nothing like that, just the taste of ashes in his taken a second to catch up to his body, and mind, as he thought, cogito, ergo sum and knew then it was too late, over, finished, finito. He that dogma to be nothing more than mere was hooked, addicted to the length of those vanity, the frantic cry of Man in the night, eyelashes, to the rise and clench of buttocks clutching his lightning-lit club to ward off the as Avon walked, to the already familiar quirk snuffling beasts that threatened his tribe. of those lips. Amo, he thought. Amore, amour, And to the too familiar misery in the eyes. enamorata…strange, how despite the best He would have Avon. He would make him efforts of Government oppression, the love- whole. I am going to heal you, he thought at words had never died, had never simply gone Avon, watching as that worthy turned his away, unlike the words of freedom and honour attention inward, withdrawing from this and right. No, love always lingered, strong metallic world of theirs. Blake looked down at enough to give real substance to the frantic his hands, imagining the Universe held there, scrabblings of one mere man to make a with his words and his freedoms to lead it out difference, to redefine himself—to make him- of the Darkness, the blows from the hammer 6 self free. Sitting there watching Avon freeze all of justice giving people back their lives and ▼▼▼ the offers made to him, whether they be right to think for themselves. And if I can heal clumsy or refined, flattering or barely humane, a Universe, Avon, how much better can I heal Blake knew that this man was his soul, come one lonely man? You and I are right for each to replace with heat that which the Federa- other, the perfect balance, all your ragged tion had stolen away with cold. He had his edges matching mine… I’ll make you laugh Cause, always that, but that was the shining again, I’ll make you love again, for it’s nothing mantra for his mind, his intellect satisfied by more than what you need, what you must the loftiness of his ideals. But his heart could have. And I can give it to you. I will give it to never be content with such a paucity of life. you. I’ll take care of you, my poor Kerr. There’s He needed more, needed to love and be loved, enough of me to feed the Rebellion and you, needed to be alive again. too. You’ll be all right. You’ll learn—amo, ergo Needed Avon. The first one to break through sum. You’ll see the truth in that, I promise. after the conditioning, the first one to make a Avon turned his head once more to look at libido he had thought long dead, sit up and Blake, not bothering to stare, not really car- take notice. Avon. He said the word in his ing, cocooned in a lovely dimness of grey, mind again, even while Vila was muttering it, where nothing mattered, where nothing had contriving to make the word sibilant, the any effect, only cause, and it made Blake’s hissing of suspicion in Blake’s ear. As if heart ache for him. He would speak to Avon, anything could make him distrust Avon! begin the healing. Avon rose, stretching, Well. Anything that wasn’t Avon’s own flexing the glory of his body, closing his eyes actions. Blake had been processed too many to let the shadow of his lashes kiss his cheeks, times, too many blood-dripping, nightmare- arching his back. long times, to trust anything he didn’t see And it exploded in Blake, casting his good with his own eyes. Of course, he had learned intentions deep into the Abyss, the road there not to trust much of his own eyesight as well, well-paved. Blake was going to have him,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ now, here, throw him across the table, rip you, Kerr? those trousers from him, plunge his burning He laughed out loud, convincing another cock into the tempering darkness of Avon’s couple of hapless criminals that they really body. The hunger frightened him, reminding were locked up with a raving loony. But Blake him of the memories—the realities? wasn’t insane, far from it. He took a deep ohgodplease, please let it all be a lie, please breath, feeling it fill his lungs, hitting his don’t make it true, he couldn’t have done blood, invigorating him. In the time since those awful things to the children, he couldn’t, his—he found a word for it, liking the poetic, couldn’t, couldn’t— metaphysical hue of it—re-awakening, it had A shaken gasp, and he was sitting on the all been intellect and fire, burning bright and bunk, hands clasped tight together, trembling strong, but consuming him. There had been for all his strength, shaking with fear. He nothing for it to feed on, save his Self and the threw the living horror out of his mind, telling core of what he thought he had once been, himself over and over again—think! Just before the Federation had turned him into a think clearly, clearly, in a straight line, don’t jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. let yourself wander like this, take a deep But it was time and enough now, for him breath, calm, calm down, think clearly, don’t to break this silence he had with Avon. He let the bastards win—and then he raised his asked, and Avon answered. eyes. There was no surprise in him, when he “I relied on other people,” he said to Blake found Avon staring at him, only the serenity who fell on it hungrily, hearing a wealth of of the inevitability of Fate settling into place. meaning and pain behind those words. Re- Oh, yes, he was going to have Avon, was lied on? he thought, not trusted? Do you ever going to lay his hands as gently upon him as trust, my Avon? Have you ever known that he was the Universe, guiding him from this luxury, that delight? morass of—self-inflicted?—misery, getting the “Why all the questions, or is it merely a dictator off his back, making him soar with thirst for knowledge?” 7 ▼▼▼ freedom again, right there, at Blake’s side. He Oh, how you look at me, Avon. You’re smiled, slowly, in no rush now that it was all drawn to me, aren’t you? You know instinc- so obviously clear, all so obviously mapped tively that you can trust me, that I can be the out. All that remained to be fixed were the one to set you free. details, to be carved out with fine-art skill, “Not exactly,” Blake said, taking great care plotting every step on the path that Avon not to scare Avon off by any excessive display would tread. There would be no ham-fisted, or by a show of his hunger. “Having defined cack-handed approaches to Avon, no. Deli- the problem,” and I know your problems, cacy was needed here, delicacy and sensitivity, Avon, “the first step is the acquisition of he thought to himself, watching Avon watching data,” and I shall know all your secrets, all the him. But not, he decided, soppiness, our things that keep you enslaved. “You should Avon would see that as weakness, wouldn’t know that.” And you will know a lot more you, Kerr? What was she like? he wondered, besides. I’ll show you, Avon, how to love and the woman who left you drifting like this? Or how to be free. was it a man? D’you like men, Kerr? D’you But Avon was looking at him with every- like the feel of muscle under your hands and thing but trust and affection and devotion. the feel of a man on top of you? And how do “Define the problem.” you like it, my beautiful Kerr? I can’t picture Oh, I already have, Avon. I have even you playing catamite, although you must defined the solution. “How to avoid spending certainly have looked the part just a few years the rest of our lives on Cygnus Alpha.” Or the ago. Can’t imagine you reclining like a bloody rest of our lives trapped in lifeless, loveless hot-house flower, waiting for your man. Too servitude. There was more after that, none of guarded by half, that’s you. You’d need an it really remembered, victim of the short-term equal, wouldn’t you? In fact, you’d need memory damage caused by the unholy alli- someone more than your match, wouldn’t ance of mindwipe and remembering, with

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

prison medicine thrown in for good measure. from him than to break his spirit? Tell him But he would never forget watching every Anna was dead. Tell him Anna had died step Avon took as that man walked—no, because of him. Tell him that it was Anna who stalked—from the room. Now, he thought, a had betrayed him, confessing to her captors seraphic smile on his face, a comfortable, everything she knew. Tell him that she had welcome heat curling in his groin, the future bled for him, screamed for him, died for him… unfolding before him with something akin to It just went to prove how little they had a rosy glow, now I’ve got someone to live for. learned about him. As if he would give them Amo, ergo sum. And I’m going to teach you their little details if Anna had died to keep all that, Kerr. I’m going to teach you how to love… that secret! What fools they were, if they had truly believed that Anna’s death would make AVON, PACING THE SAME FEW METRES OF CORRIDOR him confess all. As if he’d betray her a second THAT HE HAD BEEN PACING FOR THE PAST HOUR, WOULD time… But it had broken him, albeit briefly— HAVE BEEN LESS THAN BEST PLEASED, HAD HE KNOWN and it would be brief, he thought with a OF BLAKE’S INTENTIONS. Irritated beyond endur- sudden flare of fierce fire, it would be brief!— ance by the mindless shufflings of the un- to hear that she had died, and how she had derlings he had been shipped with, offended died, and what she had said and screamed by the years of unwash that clung to some of before she died… No, he thought with spu- them, despite the ship’s sanitary tyranny, he rious calm, don’t think about the last mo- escaped, finally, into one of the uncomfortable ments—hours? days? weeks? his mind seats that the others all avoided like the whispered with sibilant fear. You were injured, plague. Attendant memories of misery at ill, cut off from day-time and night-time, no watching Earth diminish behind him both- idea of how long they had you for before they ered Avon not one whit. Why should they, told you about Anna, no idea how long after after all? All that mattered to him was dead, that that you finally found out the date when 8 tortured and tormented and— they told you about the trial. It was all just one ▼▼▼ He took a deep breath, looking down at his long coil of horror for you and they had you for clenched hands, forcing himself to lace his months before they set you before the Arbiter fingers together in a façade of perfectly relaxed so how long did they have Anna, how long did calm, thinking fiercely to himself to get a grip, they make her suffer, how long did it take her to just think clearly… But he couldn’t let it go. to die for me?—don’t think about it, don’t To let it go was to betray her, to abandon her think about it, don’t think about it… once more. And once had been more than He took the flimsy out of his pocket, that enough. Far more than enough, and the shred of plastic one of the few things he’d sadness washed through him again, sucking been able to get back after…after the arrest. out all his strength, eroding all his foundations, His thief had appropriated it for him, of the hissing sigh all that remained. course. Who else would have been able to get He still, sometimes—oh, all right, he told hold of it? And who else, he thought with a his nagging conscience, every day, every single burst of fury, would have been clever enough blasted day—hoped that the Federation in- to get it and then stupid enough to get vestigators had been lying to him, had tricked caught? Typical bloody Vila. Half a loaf was him into believing she was dead. There were better than none, the old adage said. Hardly times when it seemed so blatantly obvious true when your half of the loaf was an exit that that was what they had done. After all, it visa. Without ID papers to go with it… How had become apparent, rather quickly, that he Vila had managed to get the flimsy past the was not about to tell them how he had security checks Avon preferred not to know, managed to infiltrate the banking system like but the idiot savant had managed, walking that. Nothing had worked, but they had up to an unsuspecting Avon in the holding softened him up, how they had softened him cell, chirrupping, ‘fancy meeting you here!’ up. His body and mind still bore the bites of and waving the bloody flimsy at him. How that. How better, then, to get the information had the fool managed it? To get an exit visa,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ which was almost impossible to do with the and that you would like to believe is true, but current security hysteria in place, but then the facts keep getting in your way. Humour get caught picking up fake ID’s, which was him, a little. It’s always wisest with zealots. something that even under-age drinkers “Why should I try?” managed to avoid. And to add insult to injury Oh, such sophisticated repartée, Blake. by ending up on the same transport as he… I’m so impressed I may fall asleep where I sit. There was, needless to say, the very real “You need my help,” he replied with the possibility that Vila had been sent after him simplicity of one who refuses to have a battle to play spy. After all, the Federation would of wits with an unarmed person. think nothing of promising freedom to a “Only if you can open the door.” habitual, repeat offender thief if, in return for Oh, now that’s interesting, he thought, their empty promise, they could find out the betraying none of that interest to the starvation secret of how Avon had managed to break the of Blake’s eyes, toying with the flimsy as he system. Vila knew that, probably knew that did the feelings of his would-be suitor. How better than Avon did, but the idiot had been quickly you doff the kid gloves when it becomes so absurdly hurt when Avon had grabbed the apparent that the soft treatment isn’t going to flimsy from him, walking away as if he had work. You’re so quick to display your ma- never seen Vila before in his life. chismo, Blake, that one might be forgiven for What else had the fool expected? A public thinking that you are less…pacifically inclined display of affection? No, not even Vila was than one was first led to believe. that stupid, he conceded. Almost, but not “I can open every door and control the quite. Too much native cunning there for computer,” not to mention you yourself, complete idiocy, but still, sometimes he minotaur. “Control the computer, and you wondered… He turned the sheer plastic over control the ship.” and over in his hands, then read it, code by Look at you, hanging on to my every word. code, the computer language as clear to him Do you have any idea, I wonder, of how 9 ▼▼▼ as his own handwriting. He stared and stared incredibly stupid you look? Well, of course at it, this priceless document that was not. If you did, you’d wear a bag over your worthless on its own. Not even worth the head. Not that it’s an entirely ugly head, of plastic it was encoded on, without the course, but you really should do something matching integrated ID. Not worth a thing. A about those bovine brown eyes of yours, sound behind him and he stiffened inside, Blake. You look like a young girl meeting her not letting his awareness of the outside world first roué. Or a sycophant meeting his ticket show. Better to let them think that he was an out of here. Elite stunned into defeat by his imprisonment. But there were other things to encroach on Better to let them think him harmless, until the spoken words, all the memories of the he had this new world of his fully compre- past and all the game-playing of the present. hended. Then he would set about manipu- He had so little patience left for the pettinesses lating all this to what little benefit he could get of others, for their power plays and their from it. Ah, it was the monolithic moron and stupidities which they all seemed so convinced messiah, the great Rebel leader and child were sophisticated witticisms. Oh, stop bor- molester, Blake. ing me with your pedantic pronouncements, And if Blake thought he was going to free do. Can’t you see I have better things to do? the universe and lead the great unwashed, he More important things to consider? There are had better learn to manipulate better than ways and there are means for me not only to that. “Don’t try to manipulate me, Blake,” he get myself off Cygnus Alpha, but to never be said, refusing to be either impressed or drawn, left there in the first place. I can go back to shrugging away from the enticing heat of the Earth without once setting foot on that lump man. The fanatical are always appealing, he of rock and what’s more, by the time we get reminded himself. It’s their unswerving belief home, I shall have been able to create a in something that they are convinced is true completely new identity for myself. Comput-

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

ers are such wonderful tools. So conveniently nations, of course, than prior acquaintance, obedient, unlike fate. You do realise, don’t far more likely than him forgetting someone you, that you are, in your own way which I of Blake’s fire and innuendo. Perhaps I know fervently hope is inimitable, fawning all over your face from the broadcasts and nothing me? And I’m not in the mood for it. else. But still, I remember you normal size, not But then again—even if you are a syco- expanded for the public screens, not con- phantic copy-cat, you are at least entertain- tracted for my home monitor. You… Ah. Yes. ing. That’s the first time I’ve felt like laughing The Aquitar project. I have seen you before. In since Anna was taken. I would never survive the halls of the Centre, bustling on to your on Cygnus Alpha, you say, because I am a own section. Was that why you were wiped, I civilised man? The smile was trapped deep wonder? Not so much for the rebelliousness, within, where it was a revelation to no-one but for the knowledge you might give away to but himself. the rebels? Now there’s a distinct possibility, How little you know me. How precious isn’t there? little you know of me. And I think, in the Or did they wipe you for something else interests of self-preservation, it should stay entirely? They rarely accuse a man of some- that way. You worry me, Blake, with your thing that is completely baseless, or of certainties and your ideals. Lofty ideas usu- something that can’t be linked to a vice that ally lead to nothing but a hanging, as my the accused is already known to have. And grandmother was so fond of saying, and she they usually use sex crimes against children should certainly know. If she’s to be believed, on people whom they can prove to be ho- she watched half her family hung or executed mosexual. in some equally ‘uncivilised’ manner. And all There was another smile, safely ensconced for the sake of their power and their money. in the privacy of his mind at that, possibilities All because the Avons were the pinnacle of opening before him and explanations coming 10 the old order, the family that had lasted at him thick and fast. If that were true, then ▼▼▼ longest and lost the least. We owned so much, life just became so much simpler. Using his in fact, we probably owned whichever planet body as a tool had always been one of his you were born on, Blake. For you’re not talents—and using someone else’s infatuation Terran-bred, are you? He allowed himself an for him had always been a work of art in his all-surveying and all consuming stare, hands. This, perhaps, was a game he was summing Blake up in a matter of seconds, willing to play, regardless of any other de- tabling him beside the mores and fashions of velopment. He needed the reassurance, after his own class, of his own clique. And certainly Anna, that he was still alive, that he could still not from the home Dome class of Alpha, inspire liveliness. That he still deserved his either. You give yourself away every time you share of pleasure. Is that what you are, open your mouth. Quite a charming accent, Blake? Is that why you gaze at me with such in a rustic sort of way. Almost familiar, but limpid vacuousness? And is it that, and not then, that is probably just the music of it… some far-off corridors, which I recognise in Or is it… There was something knocking at you? You are such a puppy, Blake, all rank the back of his brain, something that refused enthusiasm and even ranker amateurism. to be reasonable and lie down and die. Do I You must be a fool indeed, if all the Federation know you, Blake? he wondered, pillaging his has done has yet to teach you when to just own file of faces that he kept tucked away. I give in. remember your trial, such an ugly public Or are you a hero, a true, genuine hero? spectacle that was, but then, we must provide Are you someone I could believe in, Blake? entertainment for the masses. According to Someone who has enough dreams to let me your sentence, you’re the last person who steal some for my own? But then, look at you, could tell me if we met before. I don’t believe he told himself, making sure that he could we have and yet… keep his distance even whilst collaring Blake But there were far more reasonable expla- and bringing him to heel. Clumsy, oafish,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ lumpy. Hair that is unkempt, despite the more than an excuse for complete amorality. ruthlessness of the prison barber. Clothes A very comfortable background to have, I that would be more at home in a woodsman’s must admit. Very comfortable indeed. cottage—after they’d been slept in for several As justice does her scales, and with as weeks. And muscle beginning to run to flab. much even-handed fairness, he weighed No, a man who treats his body with such Blake, assessing him with what he believed contempt doesn’t believe in himself at all, he was a ruthless honesty, blissfully unaware of is merely acting upon a stage and expecting the lies that justice’s blindfold hid from him. the rest of us to applaud on cue. For if we do, Yes, you’ll do, Blake, as someone I can use if we believe in him, then he will be able to when my libido demands its due. And you’ll believe in himself. come running if I so much as crook my little No hero, then. Nothing much at all, bar an finger at you, won’t you? You fancy yourself insurance policy lest my own plans come to infatuated with me, no doubt. Well, more fool nothing. But still, it would have been nice to you. And how useful for me. Your plan has have something to believe in… But I do have possibilities, if all else fails. So I will keep you something to believe in. Human nature, in all on a rather short leash, I believe. And reel you its venality and pettiness. That’s what I can in when it suits me. Oh, yes, Blake, I rather believe in, that’s what I can depend upon. For fancy the idea of having my very own pet the baseness of people will never let you hero—as long as he spreads his legs for me. down, it will always be there to stab you in the I shall play your game, Blake, and you shall back. And if not their viciousness, then their think it your own, but it shall be none other incompetence: witness Vila. Use before one is than myself calling the shots, leading you oneself abused. Take before one is stolen where I want to be led myself. You may think from. And destroy before one is destroyed I’m crippled and blinded by my breeding and oneself. That is what I can believe in. Unlike by what you fondly imagine is my sheltered Blake’s effete and impossible dreams, there is background—but I’m more than a match for 11 ▼▼▼ nothing else. To think that after all he’s been you. through, Blake is still willing to trust strangers because he trusts human nature. The man is LOOK AT THEM, THE PAIR OF ’EM, FAWNIN’ ALL OVER either a fool or insane. EACH THE OTHER. The thinker was indescribable, Or a hero. for he was so nondescript, he merged perfectly It always came back to that magic word of with the crowd, nothing at all to draw attention his childhood. But he would have none of to himself, this little nothing of a man. But he that. None of that at all. Ignore him, unless he was watching, he was always watching from serves some purpose. And one purpose he behind his blind of anonymity, cataloguing might well serve is as a rather against-the- and analysing and taking people apart. Most mould catamite. Vila is too complicated these of the time, he put them back together again, days, demanding too much, which is pre- knowing then exactly what made them do posterous, considering what his incompetence what they did. And he knew one of the men he cost me. Anna… was watching, and was coming to unpeel the I. Will. Not. Cry. I do not cry, and if I were other. No better than they should be, tha’s to start now, it would be nothing more noble wot they are. Right pair. An’ so fuckin’ polite, that self-pity, and I refuse to sink to such enough ter makes yer puke. Bloody Alphas. ignominy. No tears. She is beyond my pity Got their big ’eads up their fat arses, so they and my sorrow. The only thing I can do for her ’ave. An’ too stupid ter notice it an’ all. Stupid now is avenge her suffering on the one who fuckin’ wallies. I mean ter say, listen t’ them. caused it. And I shall. Slowly. And with great All over each the other, both of ’em thinkin’ pleasure. Oh, would you think me quite so but wot a clever boy ’e is an’ ’ow ’e’s go’ the intriguing if you knew that, Blake? Civilised ovver one by the short an’ curlies. An’ wot man! You, moron, are confusing civilisation does they know? Nuffin’, tha’s wot. Not a with breeding. And the latter is often nothing fuckin’ thing, no’ a fuckin’ bit o’sense ’tween

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

the pair of ’em. An’ ’ere’s me sittin’ ’ere like a up ’im. Mind you, if Blake’s willin’ ter spread china bloody ornament, an’ neiver one of it fer Avon, it’ll be all over bar the shoutin’, ’em’s go’ the sense ter ask me wot ter do. I won’t it? A quick leg-over, Avon’ll pop off an’ mean ter say, oo’s the one wot’s been in then walk away. An’ ’ow’s poor Blake gonner prison before? An’ more times than they’ve cope wiv tha’, eh? ’ad ’ot dinners. He fed his aggravation, nur- Fuck, bu’ they’re sickenin’, starin’ at each turing his sense of outrage that it might feed ovver like lovesick mutoids, they are. him long enough to get through yet another Disgustin’. An’ they both think they’re gonner period of pain, yet another time of loss and be top man, don’t they? Upper class fuckin’ loneliness. Behind his pleasant, ostentatiously twits. Somebody’s always gotter end up on harmless façade, he perused them as others the receivin’ end, don’t they? An’ that pair are would a book, knowing far more than the gonner ’ave a very nasty shock coming’ when objects of his attention would ever want him they find tha’ out, ain’t they? Fuckin’ perverts. to. No’ that they’d care, would they? Don’t Not as ’ow they likes fuckin’ men—fond o’ tha’ give a toss, eiver one. Blake’s too busy playin’ meself, bu’ it’s this way they ’as of makin’ it at Robin Fuckin’ ’Ood—another proper look like it’s a fuckin’ battle, no’ a bit o’ fun. wanker if you was ter ask me, not tha’ His An’ tha’s all wot it oughter be. Bit o’ fun, nice Holiness an’ His Highness would ever do bit o’ rumpy, none o’ this circlin’ round like tha’—an’ Avon’s too busy wallowin’ in ’is own dogs in a pit-fight. But if it was… Know oo I’d misery. Never thought ’e’d be one of ’em sorts put me money on. wot jest lies there moanin’ abou’ ’ow unfair life Me. I’ll be ’ere, jest waitin’ fer when the is. ’Course, ’e’d be the first one ter deny ’e’s fireworks is over an’ Avon’s ready fer a bit o’ doin’ that, mind, but don’t they always? real life again, none o’ this snotty love-affaire Fuckin’ prat. An’ wot’s ’e think ’e’s doin’, crap. treatin’ me like dirt on ’is shoe for, eh? Wasn’t They’ll kill each ovver, or one of ’em’ll get 12 my fault, was it, tha’ the fuckin’ Seccies were the ovver one first. An’ tha’s Avon. Vicious ▼▼▼ after anyone wot so much as breathed wrong. bastard ’e c’n be, when ’e needs ter be. ’E’s no Security Forces—biggest bastards tha’ ever artsy-fartsy Alpha-rebel type, not our Avon. walked. Or crawled more like, knowin’ the Cold as glass, ’e is. ’Less you catch ’im when soddin’ seccies. Can’t stand ’em, not many as ’e’s lonely an’ all sad, the way ’e gets. can, I s’pose, but they’re fuckin’ vicious when Then…mush. Tha’s all ’e is then. Big mushy they ge’ started. An’ they always ge’ started on ’eart an’ ’e ’angs on ter yer all night an’ tells yer the likes of me, don’t they? If Avon wants ter ’ow good yer ’ands are an’ ’ow good yer fucks contemplate things wot aren’t fair, ’e oughter ’im. think about wot’s ’appened ter me, an’ for Like ’im best when ’e’s like tha’, no’ bu’ tha’ wot? For ’elpin’ a hoity-toity Alpha wot won’t ’e lets many sees ’im then. An’ such a fuckin’ even admit ’e knows me. Oh, I’ll give ’im wot idiot when ’e goes an’ falls fer somebody. Look for, when I gets ’im on ’is own. I shall give ’im at tha’ precious bleedin’ Anna of ’is. Nothin’ a proper piece of my mind, so I will an’ all. ’E’ll but a bi’ of baggage she was. An’ I’ll bet good know all abou’ it, when I’m finished wiv him, money after bad tha’ she’s livin’ it up so ’e will. An’ ’e’ll be sorry for wot ’e’s done ter somewheres, Lady Muck, shaggin’ ’er stony me. little ’eart out wiv the feller wot was supposed No’ much chance o’ a bit o’ the old ’ow’s yer ter interrogate ’er. Oh, no, our Anna, our father, though, no’ wiv bloody Blake ’angin’ sweet fuckin’ Anna wouldn’t’ve ended up in around like a bit o’ trade lookin’ for a quick no cells, not ’er. Might’ve spoiled ’er ’air-do an’ shag. ’E should be so fuckin’ lucky. Avon’s we can’t ’ave that, can we? Fancy bitch, tha’s never been tha’ simple in ’is life. Always all the all she was an’ good riddance ter bad rubbish. games first. Yer’ve got ter prove ter ’im tha’ ’e Glad ter see the back of ’er. Never did Avon no c’n trust you an’ tha’ you ain’t gonner ’urt ’im. good, she didn’t. He could remember, with An’ then yer’ve go’ ter get ’im all ready an’ the same brittle clarity that marred Anna’s rarin’ ter go, afore ’e’ll relax enough ter let yer beauty, the very first time he’d met her. At

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Avon’s flat, showing him the plans he’d lifted Avon don’t watch it, all them pouts is gonner from that Councillor’s private safe, and turn inter kissy-kissies. An’ where does tha’ chuckling over the nefarious pornography leave me, eh? Beggar at the fuckin’ banquet that had been tucked in there, between the again, tha’s where. Bloody Avon. Don’t know official documents and the Councillor’s fa- why I put up wiv ’im. ’Part from the obvious, mous speeches on morality. She’d hated him mind. He meandered around another few on first sight, but not half as much as Vila had steps, never taking his eyes off Avon or Blake, hated her. Just another proof, in his eyes, of never once seeming to look at them at all. what a good judge of character he was. Nuffin’ Never seen ’im like this afore. No’ even wiv but trouble, ’er, prissy-mouthed miss, an’ so Anna. At least wiv ’er, ’e kept ’is distance a bit. two faced, she needed an extra mirror jest ter Scared o’ fallin’ fer ’er, I think ’e was, but yer’d put ’er face paint on. An’ always on at ’im think ’e’d ’ave enough sense ter keep away abou’ ’is family an’ ’is good name an’ ’is money from Blake fer the same reason. wot ’e never got cos the Feds got it first. As if Unless the fuckin’ sod don’t know. Oh, ’e never knew all that crap. Never let it get ter tha’s great, tha’s jest fuckin’ brilliant, tha’ is. ’im too much till after she started in on ’im. Typical bloody Avon, jumpin’ in wiv both feet, Was like she’d picked the scab off an’ then sat jest cos ’e thinks ’e could never fall fer someone back ter watch ’im bleed. No ’eart ter the wot’s as stupid as Blake. Pride comes afore a woman. Up-start bint tryin’ ter ’ave my Avon, fall, me old granny used ter say, an’ lookin’ at tryin’ ter pinch ’im from right out under me fuckin’ Avon, she’s right. Oh, this is jest wot nose. Hah! As if ’e’d go. Well, ’e does, some- I wanted ter cheer me up, ain’t it? Avon, takin’ times, if ’e gets ’is balls up where ’is brains a pratfall fer a bloke wot’s liable ter gets us all oughter be. Bu’ ’e always comes back, mind. topped. Marvellous. Fuckin’ marvellous. Never stays away fer long. ’E needs me, yer Course, Blake’s no better, is ’e? ’E’s droolin’ see. Not tha’ ’e’s got the sense ter see that, over Avon, near as spit. Oh tha’s a good pun, mind, bu’ ’e really needs me. I like tha’ one. Must remember ter use it one 13 ▼▼▼ An’ Blake’ll find that out soon enough. ’E’s day. But don’t make no difference, does it, cos in fer a big fuckin’ shock, ’e is. Can ’ardly wait Blake’s still droolin’ all over Avon, ain’t ’e? ter sees ’is face when Avon dumps ’im like a Like a fuckin’ gigolo let loose in the girl’s lead fuckin’ balloon an’ comes back ter me. remand ’ome. An’ look at tha’, oughter be An’ ’e will. ashamed of ’imself, walkin’ around in tha’ Always does, don’t ’e? He was frowning state, playin’ tents wivout poles. Big, though. now, the expression on another inmate’s face Looks like a good fat prick, tha’ does—jest like warning him that his mask was slipping. Blake, I s’pose. Yeh, big fat prick ter match ’is Wiping his face thoroughly with profound big fat ’ead. Pantin’ after Avon, as if ’e’s got any inanity, he disappeared into the crowd again, chance o’ gettin’ Avon. Got better taste, ’e ’as. a mousy man with a far from mousy spirit. Well, usually. Unless ’e thinks ’e can ’andle But will yer take a look at tha’! Fuckin’ ’ell, Blake. Which is one thing wot ’e can’t do. wot’s the matter wiv them two? All their Least, not as much as ’e thinks ’e can. Always brains ’ave gone ter their bums an’ they’ve did ’ave more balls than brains, never you been sittin’ on their arses too long. Got no mind wot ’e says. Nobody knows themselves sense, no’ a bit o’ sense. Ter stare all goo-goo ’alf as well as them wot sees them all the time. at each ovver like tha’, an’ on a prison ship! An’ I’ve been watchin’ Avon fer years now. Soddin’ ’ell, don’t they know wot the guards’ll Very easy on the eyes, ’e is—but ’ard on the do, even if the maties don’t? Inmates get ’eart. God, but ’e’s enough ter make a man lonely an’ if they sees two men wot don’t mind weep, sometimes. So fuckin’ pretty, an’ so ’avin’ a cock up their arse, they’re gonner get fuckin’ good tween the sheets, but ’e never more than they expected. Better ’ave a word knows if ’e’s comin’ or goin’ when it comes ter wiv ’em—bu’ why bovver? They’re never gonner ’is feelin’s. But ’e always comes back ter me. listen ter sense, are they? Playin’ coy wiv each Oh, all right, so ’e don’t love me, but ’e likes the other, all them eyelashes battin’ an’ if me, else ’e wouldn’t never come back, right?

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: INCIPIT ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

An’ I love ’im, tha’ counts fer somethin’, right? want. Restlessness crawled over him like lice Course it does. An’ if it didn’t, ’e’d never ’ave and he moved, abruptly, an implosion of gone on at me like wot ’e did, moanin’ an’ energy that brought him to his feet and half- complainin’ at me till I learned ’ow not ter way round the perimeter of the room before drop me aitches and then sound so terribly, he was even aware of the need to move, to get terribly much as one truly ought, if one away. Then, masochistically, in the manner wishes to better oneself. Load of old of one who has to race to the scene of the codswallop, if yer ask me. ’Course, it’s stood accident, in the manner of one who goes over me in good stead, I s’pose—not many as is in a nightmare again and again, he came back ’ere, even, would know me now fer wot I to where he could watch the two Alphas and started as. Sometimes ferget meself, ceptin’ their mating dance. An’ they’re still at it, the when I’m this fuckin’ knackered. An’ I am pair of them, talking backwards and forwards, absolutely jiggered, no two ways abou’ tha’, is as if they’re foolin’ anyone with their games. there? Always get out an’ out lazy in me Only people they’re making fools of is them- thinkin’ when I’m tired. So c’mon, Vila me old selves. Each as bad as the other, thinking pal, pull your socks up. Get yer mind out of they’re playing such fancy nancy games, and yer arse—get your brain in gear, an’ star’ all they’re doing is skirting each other to find yerself ter thinkin’. Start thinking. Go on, lazy out who gets to do the fuckin’ and who gets to mind makes yer—you—careless. Think about bend over and spread’em. Be interesting t’see it. Apply yerself. Those two are like two toms if they get that far, mind. Be interesting to see on ’eat, but neither one of them’s stopped to if Avon’ll let Blake fuck him. Don’t see it think about wot’s goin’ to happen when they meself. Not even Avon gets so besotted as to get down to the business of fucking. Fireworks, let someone like Blake ’ave that much power that’s wot it’ll be, an’ not the kind they were over him. But then, Avon loves being fucked, after, either. Fuckin’ hell, it’s goin’ to be a not but that he’s ever going to admit as much. 14 soddin’ mess, when them two get that far. An’ Still think tha’s why he wouldn’t marry that ▼▼▼ if we’re all stuck together on Cygnus Alpha Sarah-fluff. Couldn’t give it to him, not hard with ’em when the explosions start, I’ll be the enough—so to speak. Needs a firm hand, first one to go bury me head somewhere. But does our Avon, and I wonder if you’ve realised I’ll be back, so I will. Avon’s not the only one that yet, Blake. Wonder if you’ve got the wot comes back. An’ when all’s said and done, faintest, foggiest idea what you’re lettin’ the old bastard needs me. yourself in for, if you’re takin’ on Avon. He’s a But his bones were aching from the side- handful, a proper handful and you have to effects of the drugs in the food, and he sat know when to pull ’im to heel and when ter let down, in the pose of habitual laziness that got him go. Fuck, but I’m tired. Need a sleep. All him out of so much work. He could see it all the drugs in the food, always does this to me. coming, could see where this liaison of Avon Need to sleep. Tha’s all right. Them two won’t and Blake’s was going to lead them. And he be doin’ nuffin yet. Not fer ages yet. He liked it not at all. stumbled over to the bunk that he had Bu’ wot c’n I do about it? ’S not as if they’re claimed so wisely the second they had, en gonner listen ter me, is it? Nah, not them pair. masse, set foot on the transport. He did a Destroy each the other, if they’re not careful. quick check of his hidden pockets, the ones Pushin’ and pullin’ an’ never listenin’ ter wot that made him look permanently bedraggled, the other ’as ter say… Disaster, tha’s wot they and all his little treasures were there. No are. As fer why Avon can’t jest stick wiv me, matter what happened, he’d be all right. Still wot understands an’ loves ’im, I’ll be buggered had his basic tools of the trade, still had if I know. Stupid, really, bu’ ’e’s always been marketable skills. like tha’. Always after wot ’e can’t ’ave. Although And he didn’t give a fuck what Blake ’e’ll be able ter ’ave Blake, no fear about tha’. thought, or what Avon thought either, for Bu’ tha’s jest like ’im, ’e eiver wants wot ’e that matter. can’t ’ave, or ’e gets wot ’e shouldn’t oughter He still had Avon.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▼▼▼▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼I N VITRO An artificial environment or literally, ‘in ▼ ▼ glass.’ Glass House and Heatstroke provide ▼ ▼ views of sexual desire through the artificiality ▼ ▼ of their settings. Glass House is a bleak and ▼ ▼ despairing look at captivity, the circumstances ▼ ▼ unfolding bit by bit. Heatstroke is a single scens ▼ in a single room, its initial dreamy surrealism ▼ ▼ suddenly shifting in tone. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ GLASS HOUSE ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ N INTELLIGENT MAN CAN ADAPT. and failed resistance kept his face impassive. 15 ▼A ▼▼▼ Avon had said that to Blake once, a long time Somebody would be watching him, and he ago. But in the Glass House—as Avon had didn’t intend to let anyone witness his emo- learned—being civilised was not a survival tions. characteristic. After hastily donning the sleeveless silver Tonight he’d been assigned Suite Seven. tunic and the black silk trousers he found He’d only been here one time before, but the underneath, he surreptitiously examined his walls draped in red velvet and the metallic immediate surroundings. On an ebony ped- black furnishings were etched in his memory. estal next to the dais sat the inevitable jar of The ebon-and-scarlet decor made the place lubricant salve. (It was also scented like look like a damned bordello. Which of course sandalwood—obviously the Odor of the Day.) it was. Next to the jar stood a pair of fluted silver Behind him, the door swung closed and candlesticks with red candles in them. Avon locked. could imagine a few unpleasant scenarios The ever-present stink of sandalwood involving those candlesticks, but there wasn’t emanated from a cast-iron incense burner in much he could do about it. one corner, and a polished marble dais He scratched at the near-constant itch on dominated the room. It was waist high, a his wrist. The electronic slave-bracelet clamped perfect jet-black rectangle about two meters around it could stimulate the nerves more square. A puddle of glittery cloth was lying on inventively than any Federation interrogator top of it. could. Barefoot, Avon padded forward through Only the barest amount of reddish light plush sable black carpet. His owners usually filtered through the opulent curtains, making left him some sort of costume, and he preferred it rather hard to see. He might as well light the to cover his nakedness as long as he could. candles. Remembrance of months of futile struggle As the hiss of the match sputtered and

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▼▼▼▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

went out, the door bolt shot back, followed by “No. They don’t need to drug me any more.” a slight electronic humming and the swish of Blake spun him round and held his face to drapery. Tonight’s business had begun. What inspect his eyes intently. After a moment he would it be this time? Pain, humiliation, relaxed, thumbs circling lightly at the tender bondage? It seldom turned out to be mere skin of Avon’s temples. “I couldn’t bear it, if sex. Repressing a shudder, he made himself they had drugged you.” finish what he had started. “I don’t see what difference it makes,” Avon “Avon.” said, “to you. Just so long as I perform.” The Recognising the voice, Avon felt his whole demon of perversity whispered in his ear. “At body go cold. He turned with deliberate, least I am old enough to understand what is almost zombie-like calm and answered expected of me.” tonelessly, “So it’s you this time, Blake.” Blake’s eyes hardened. He seized Avon by The figure in the doorway gave a tiny nod the hair and kissed him roughly. Breathing and stepped into the room. The door slammed fast and hard, he pushed Avon back onto the shut and locked again: they were alone to- dais and began to fondle him through the gether. tunic. The slip and slide of the satiny cloth Blake wore a floppy-sleeved pirate’s outfit— against his chest was pleasurable; Avon shut scarlet trousers and thonged vest, a heavy his eyes and concentrated on the feeling, leather belt, knee-length black boots—no blocking the knowledge from his mind that doubt unearthed from the vast wardrobe the this was another man, that it was Blake. His mistress kept on hand for clients and slaves body knew the ritual. By now it reacted to any alike. Appropriate costume made the illusion touch, any hands, snatching at the least of so much more compelling. pleasures from whatever quarter they might Blake’s face was as noncommittal as Avon’s be offered. own. “Do you want it easy,” he said in steady, And Blake was more skillful than most, 16 a strong voice that echoed around the small though his fingers seemed furtive, as if he ▼▼▼ room, “or do you want it rough?” were under the stern eye of a guilty con- Avon shrugged. He knew what he was science. supposed to answer, but he couldn’t. As if he Avon opened his eyes when Blake kissed really had a choice. “Do what you’re going to him again, soft and careful. “Undress,” Blake do, Blake. I just want it over with.” said in an urgent undertone. He shifted “I can make it easy for you—you just have enough so that Avon could sit up. to cooperate,” Blake replied earnestly. “It’s Avon stripped off his clothes and tossed my option.” them aside. He watched as Blake did the Avon choked back a laugh. “Ever the noble same. Blake’s body was in a lot better shape hero. Do you imagine I care?” than Avon’s; it didn’t show the marks and “Rather more than you let on,” Blake said bruises of angry passion and contemptuous and with the old customary briskness he sensuality that Avon had been subjected to pulled off his vest and shirt. over and over. A sigh of relief escaped him as Avon watched in mounting fear; abruptly Blake discarded the belt. he turned his back to Blake. “What makes He sensed Blake studying him but made you think I want things to be easy?” no further effort to cover himself. What was He felt Blake’s arms slide around his waist. the point? Blake moved closer and touched “Don’t be difficult, Avon.” Blake’s hands him again, tracing a series of newer scars slipped under the tunic, rubbing Avon’s along his belly. stomach. “You have to respond,” he said He flinched when Blake explored the fad- under his breath, “that’s part of it.” ing greenish bruise on his right shoulder. He “I always do,” Avon said bitterly. forced himself to meet Blake’s eyes, to con- Blake’s hands were gentle on him, mas- front the shock and pity he knew he would saging up his chest. Now they stopped. “Have find, where once there had been respect and you been drugged?” admiration.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▼▼▼▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Oh, yes, the strangers who came and went “I’ll decide what’s necessary,” Blake said, could hurt him, degrade his body in ways he but he left off anyway. He flexed his hand, hadn’t known existed, but of course Blake, then wrapped it tightly around Avon’s erec- who knew him, would inflict the most subtle tion. He placed his other hand beneath the of tortures: kindness. first and started stroking him in earnest. Mercifully, Blake closed his eyes. He shook Avon closed his eyes and went with rising his head, then opened his eyes again. “Let’s flood of sensation. It was so rare he felt any get on with it, shall we?” He didn’t wait for an uncomplicated pleasure, anything remotely answer, only slid a hand up Avon’s thigh into resembling normality and he wanted to drown the soft swelling of his crotch. in it. Blake was bringing him to the edge of “Quick, aren’t you?” Blake smiled the climax—he held his breath… knowing little smile of complicity. His fingers He was losing the feeling, skidding away curved around the shaft and he began to from the crest. Caresses were no longer stroke. enough. “Am I?” Avon replied. He would not break Conditioned, you’ve been conditioned, his the gaze, though what he seemed to see mind screamed, but it didn’t matter. He reflected in Blake’s eyes made the blood burn opened his eyes. his face with shame. Excuses rushed to his “Blake. Hit me.” lips; remained unspoken. He wanted des- “No.” perately to explain, to tell Blake how long and “Please.” hard he had fought. No, it was no use saying “It’s not necessary.” anything at all, for in the end he had suc- “Yes, it is.” cumbed like every one else, hadn’t he? He’d Blake stared at him in horror, and he hated learnt to live with the self-loathing, but that himself, but he was desperate to feel some- Blake should see how far he had sunk tore thing, anything at all, that would plunge him the crust of apathy from his humiliation and over the edge. 17 ▼▼▼ left it fresh and raw and bleeding. “Do it.” He lifted his chin in brittle defiance. “That’s Blake hit him, an open-handed slap across right, Blake, even I am no more than an the face. animal.” The clean, simple pain of the blow brought “More, much more,” Blake said in a near- tears to his eyes. “Again.” whisper, “but not less.” He bent his head and Blake slapped him again, harder. The hot pressed his mouth to Avon’s, licking at his tingling aftermath on his cheeks coiled lips until Avon gave in and let them part. through his body, exciting him into madness. Blake put an arm around him and drew him He thrust up once into Blake’s tight-clenched close, sank deeper into the kiss, while his hand and he was coming in great gouting other hand continued its slow caresses. Avon spurts, racked with fiery profane delight, moaned and pushed himself hard against falling backward. Blake’s hand, his body responding of its own Blake caught him as he fell and bore him volition to the unaccustomed tenderness. down against satiny stone and held him until He tilted his head back as Blake’s mouth the last tremor had passed, murmuring “I’m pressed against his throat and put his hands sorry,” over and over. on the slick surface of the dais, groping The corrupt ecstasy faded as quickly as it around behind him until he managed a bal- had appeared, left him drained of all energy. ance, and leaned his weight onto his arms. Only a sickening revulsion at his weakness He felt Blake’s breath on his face, then remained. He turned his head and saw the Blake kissed him again. glitter of the crystal jar, reminder of worse to “Must you keep doing that,” Avon said come. tiredly. “You know what happens next,” Blake “Doing what?” said, as if he’d overheard. “Kissing is not necessary.” “Yes.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▼▼▼▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Blake gripped his shoulders and whis- not, my friend, we’re two of a kind. And one pered, “I’m going to get you out of here.” way or another, we are going to be free.” “Of course you are.” “I admire your optimism,” Avon said. But Blake’s weight was oppressive, pushing Blake’s immortal if naïve determination his shoulder blades cruelly against the soaked through the layers of numbness and unyielding surface of the dais, and it occurred warmed him in spite of himself. Blake never to him that even for a rape, hard marble was changed, and he discovered there was as not optimal. “Couldn’t we use the floor?” much comfort in that as in the reassuring Blake complied and rolled him onto the bulk of Blake’s body. floor, knocking the wind out of him. He Blake squinted at the grandfather clock in waited, limp and unresistant as Blake pre- the corner. “With any luck, we’ll be dismissed pared him. for the night before the mess hall stops He stared resolutely at the tuft of carpet, serving dinner.” sinking his fingers in deep. Relax or you will “You’re actually adjusting to the environ- really get hurt, an early adviser in the slave- ment.” quarters had told him. But then, everyone “No. But I do what I have to.” Blake directed found a way to hurt him anyway. He never a cold and terrible stare at him. “And Avon— understood why they hadn’t killed him in all don’t ever mention children to me again.” those months of angry rebellion. It didn’t Avon froze. There were some questions he make sense—it had never made sense. Even would never dare ask. a brothel pandered to appetites other than He shifted his head and saw the drapes sadism and humiliation. were drawn back to reveal a transparent wall. Uncomprehending, Avon recalled the Avon knew from painful experience that the madam’s cynical assessment. “But Avon, wall could not be smashed—not by his own you suffer so beautifully.” bleeding hands or metal chairs or even those 18 When it was all over, he curled up into a damned candlesticks. ▼▼▼ little ball and shivered. That wall gave Glass House its name. On Blake drew nearer and tucked Avon next to the opposite side, tonight’s patron was loung- his chest. Avon momentarily stiffened and ing on an overstuffed ottoman, squeezing a refused to respond to the gesture—he was bonbon with pudgy beringed fingers. Her rich damned if he was going to show any feeling jewels and elaborate make-up couldn’t con- now the performance was finished. ceal the vapidity of her flushed, excited ex- But he felt so cold. The room was warm pression. Immediately her gaze met Avon’s, enough—it was his soul that was chilled. His she quickly rearranged her clothing. dignity, his self-respect had shredded bit by He marshalled the last of his reserves and bit, his ordinary human impulses twisted eyed her in utter contempt. into parodies of themselves; what was the But she smiled pleasantly, and leaned desire for comfort compared to those? forward with an air of anticipation. With a sigh, he leaned against Blake and Defeated, Avon hid his face in Blake’s allowed him to fling one arm over his shoul- shoulder. Even if he escaped one day, he der. The arm with the slave bracelet that would never be free again. matched Avon’s. Blake’s other arm went round him in a “Why, Blake? Why is all this happening to protective embrace, then Avon felt him go us?” Avon muttered in a barely audible tone. rigid. An instant later Blake sprang up and He hated the pathetic sound of his own voice. pounded his fists against the glass. The “You’re an engineer—I’m a computer tech- woman drew back, not in fear, or anger, but nician. Why didn’t the Amagons sell us for in impatience, and the curtains swept across that?” the glass. “Because no one could have ever trusted With a cry of pain, Blake grabbed at his our docility,” Blake replied, eternally rea- wrist and squeezed his eyes shut. Punishment sonable even in this terrible place. “Like it or for any transgression was always swift and

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▼▼▼▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ inevitable. Blake relaxed again after a few despair lift as he was enveloped by the waves seconds; clearly only a small reminder. of loyalty and warmth and resolve radiating “That was pointless,” Avon observed. from the other man. Perhaps for the first time, “She closed the curtains, didn’t she?” he trusted Blake completely. Nothing deflected “For the moment.” Blake from a goal he’d set himself, no amount Blake came and sat down next to him. “I of degradation tarnished Blake’s spirit, and mean what I said, Avon. I’m going to get us out in that stubborn strength lay Avon’s only of here, no matter what. And the others, if I hope of salvation. “If you get me out of here, can find them.” I give you my word I will support you in any “Then what?” endeavour you care to name,” he said pas- “Go back to the revolution. What else?” sionately, keeping his voice low so as not to be “What else indeed,” Avon said softly. overheard. “I will follow you anywhere.” “Are you with me?” Blake said, less a Blake smiled at that and raised his eyebrows question than a summons. in faint surprise. “Anywhere?” “What good would I be to you—now?” “Anywhere.” Avon shuddered. “I can’t “All the good in the world.” Blake took his imagine any place worse than this.” hand and squeezed it. “What we’re made to do “Oh, I can.” doesn’t change the way we feel. The way I feel, Avon bit at his cheek to suppress an anyway.” upsurge of hysteria. Blake always had to Avon stared at him, and felt the burden of have the last word. “Oh?” “We could be on the other side of the glass.”

HEATSTROKE 19 ▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE

▼ I T SEEMED ABSURD THAT AVON— valley which led the mind and eye down to the the quintessentially elegant Kerr Avon— very centre of his body, defining the line should snore, but he did, albeit with delicacy between the breadth of torso and the beauty and refinement, a display of the profundity of of groin. Deep within his sleep, Avon shifted, sleep, not the coarse abandonment of lesser the subtle breath of fantasy moving him, left mortals. He lay, asprawl and propped up on leg turning slightly, cock hesitating a moment a pile of pillows, his only covering the dark- behind. The dampness of his body clutched ness of hair that highlighted his body like at his cock, holding it still for a second, kisses dropped with sweet profusion. The trapping the foreskin so that the pretty pink burnished light of the window followed the mouth of his cock peeped out for an instant highways and by-ways of his body, drawing to pout, coyly, invitingly, before another the eye to a curve here, a convexity of muscle restless breath freed the skin to flow back, there, the blush of summer’s heat where it whisperingly, like a lover, to hood the velvet lingered, there, and there, bringing a touch of cockhead once more. A flare of lightning rose to the alabaster skin. A glistering of twinkled amidst the glowing blackness of the sweat bejewelled his groin, the silver shim- gloaming clouds, the brilliance illuminating mering counterpoint to the darkness of curls Avon as the work of art he surely was. Then and the pinkness of cock. It lay, drowsing came the hollow-belly rumble of thunder and lazily, in the hollow of Avon’s hip, that grooved with it, an irritated tightening of Avon’s lips,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ K. THOMAS & D. D. M. ▼▼▼▼▼ GLASS HO▼SE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ inevitable. Blake relaxed again after a few despair lift as he was enveloped by the waves seconds; clearly only a small reminder. of loyalty and warmth and resolve radiating “That was pointless,” Avon observed. from the other man. Perhaps for the first time, “She closed the curtains, didn’t she?” he trusted Blake completely. Nothing deflected “For the moment.” Blake from a goal he’d set himself, no amount Blake came and sat down next to him. “I of degradation tarnished Blake’s spirit, and mean what I said, Avon. I’m going to get us out in that stubborn strength lay Avon’s only of here, no matter what. And the others, if I hope of salvation. “If you get me out of here, can find them.” I give you my word I will support you in any “Then what?” endeavour you care to name,” he said pas- “Go back to the revolution. What else?” sionately, keeping his voice low so as not to be “What else indeed,” Avon said softly. overheard. “I will follow you anywhere.” “Are you with me?” Blake said, less a Blake smiled at that and raised his eyebrows question than a summons. in faint surprise. “Anywhere?” “What good would I be to you—now?” “Anywhere.” Avon shuddered. “I can’t “All the good in the world.” Blake took his imagine any place worse than this.” hand and squeezed it. “What we’re made to do “Oh, I can.” doesn’t change the way we feel. The way I feel, Avon bit at his cheek to suppress an anyway.” upsurge of hysteria. Blake always had to Avon stared at him, and felt the burden of have the last word. “Oh?” “We could be on the other side of the glass.”

HEATSTROKE 19 ▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE

▼ I T SEEMED ABSURD THAT AVON— valley which led the mind and eye down to the the quintessentially elegant Kerr Avon— very centre of his body, defining the line should snore, but he did, albeit with delicacy between the breadth of torso and the beauty and refinement, a display of the profundity of of groin. Deep within his sleep, Avon shifted, sleep, not the coarse abandonment of lesser the subtle breath of fantasy moving him, left mortals. He lay, asprawl and propped up on leg turning slightly, cock hesitating a moment a pile of pillows, his only covering the dark- behind. The dampness of his body clutched ness of hair that highlighted his body like at his cock, holding it still for a second, kisses dropped with sweet profusion. The trapping the foreskin so that the pretty pink burnished light of the window followed the mouth of his cock peeped out for an instant highways and by-ways of his body, drawing to pout, coyly, invitingly, before another the eye to a curve here, a convexity of muscle restless breath freed the skin to flow back, there, the blush of summer’s heat where it whisperingly, like a lover, to hood the velvet lingered, there, and there, bringing a touch of cockhead once more. A flare of lightning rose to the alabaster skin. A glistering of twinkled amidst the glowing blackness of the sweat bejewelled his groin, the silver shim- gloaming clouds, the brilliance illuminating mering counterpoint to the darkness of curls Avon as the work of art he surely was. Then and the pinkness of cock. It lay, drowsing came the hollow-belly rumble of thunder and lazily, in the hollow of Avon’s hip, that grooved with it, an irritated tightening of Avon’s lips,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▼▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

as the outside crudity of reality nipped at the sound louder than it had any right to be, no dancing heels of his dreaming. He shifted matter how raddled with lust he was. But he again, a delicate trickle of sweat drifting with could hear himself, could hear the revelatory the slow beauty of tears through the shower catch of his breath that skipped, fractionally, of chest hair until all that was left was a single with even the slightest movements made by glowing pearl, poised against the fluff of curl the limpid body in the bed. Avon twisted cradling the languid cock. amidst the rumpled hillocks of bedsheets, And Blake wanted to lick him. All of him, the whiteness stark and dead against the soft every inch, every atom, every cell. Wanted to paleness of his skin and the lustrous vitality eat him, devour him whole, consume him so of dark hair. A smile, very small, the faintest completely that it would change the signature hint of pleasure, painted Avon’s lips in the DNA to Blake’s own name. He wanted to night-fall dimness and a pulse of carnal heat possess Avon until he could be sure his dark beat strongly, for a moment, in his cock, conscience could never leave him to struggle suffusing it with a translucent rose and on alone with the burden of revolution and bringing it to life. Blake felt his own cock the corruption of power vamping seductively stirring, filling, lengthening, blindly nuzzling at him from the wings. He wanted Avon to be on the smooth fabric of his underwear, his, all his, with the mindless intensity of the seeking, searching, looking for the source of infant. its pleasure. Blake stared at that source, the The droplet of sweat shimmered with Avon’s wellspring of all this turmoil that was eroding breathing, spilling over finally to be lost in the his will and his honour with equal ease. He thicket of luxuriant hair, that secret place wanted Avon, no surprise in that, Avon himself where Blake hungered to bury his face, to fill had commented upon it—publicly—often his lungs to overflowing with Avon’s musk, to enough. There had been enough small re- lose himself in the utterly masculine perfec- venges from Blake—’Go back to your posi- 20 tion of this man that he dared not even call tion’—to carefully display that it was nothing ▼▼▼ friend. But he dared not. Not with Avon lying more than lust. And looking at Avon, who there so seductive in his vulnerable oblivi- could possibly blame him? The man exuded ousness. Not with Avon lying there in such sexuality, dressed for it, made a public show utter perfection. Not with Avon lying there, a of it all, dragging everyone around him in dream come true, for it was all fantasy, mere closer, closer, moths to the flame of his feral meanderings of a mind grown dizzy with lust. charm. So, then, just the same as the others, For if Blake were to touch, to lick, to kiss or Blake stood there, imagining the same ex- devour, then Avon, no succubus he, would pression of lust on his face that he had seen rise up to destroy Blake for his impertinence. covering Vila, and Jenna. Imagining the tol- Gods, gods, gods, why had he assumed that erantly amused desire that he had seen Avon would be his usual insomniac self? Why written so often and in such large letters upon did the man have to pick tonight, all of nights, Cally’s face. to sleep so soundly and so early? And with the But it was different, and he knew it. door unbarred. Leaving Blake to stand there Not for him the safety of sexual heat. God, gaping, needing, needing so much he should no, nothing so tame. Nothing so mild, noth- never dare even dream of. There could be no ing so reasonable. For him… simple passion between them, no easy mo- He closed his mind to it, as he always did, ment of desire sated, once, to be re-lived when desperate to control the burgeoning arousal, the notion took them. If Blake wanted to flesh uncoiling, uncurling, hardening into a devour Avon, and he surely did, then Avon club to beat at his trousers, demanding would want to devour Blake just as surely, freedom, demanding satisfaction, demand- just as completely, although the reasons ing… would be different and myriad enough to fill Avon. Avon, lying there, all unawares, one a library of leather-bound, gilt-edged books. hand thoughtlessly, slowly, fingers loose and Blake could hear himself breathing, the sleepy, sighing down his chest to touch,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▼▼▼▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ fingertip to cocktip, flesh to flesh. And a smile, What could it be, if not love, that hounded growing now, with dreams and reality com- him like this, refusing to let Avon go, refusing bined, body responding to the pleasures of to give Avon even the most minor of the mind. And all Blake could think of was independences one would give a dog. Gods, how much he wanted that body, how much gods, gods, he should have had Jenna come he wanted to slake the ravening thirst of his with him, not Avon. Should never have dared mouth on the salty whiteness that would tracing this lead on Docholli with Avon at his erupt into him, as he took Avon inside and, side, not now, not when he was so frantic to devouring, made him Blake’s own… get to Star One that he didn’t know if he were He fed on his lust, fanning it with the fear coming or going. His cock nudged him on cue, that danced, shrieking, at the back of his telling him that it knew whether they were mind, whilst his rationality tried to suffocate coming or not. He touched himself, lumpy the desire, to force it back down to manage- and almost unfamiliar behind the bulk of the able levels where the caresses of imagination heavy clothes he was wearing. If only he’d had and hand would be enough to once more to Jenna come down with him, then it would be keep the shackles from his feet. He drank his so nice and uncomplicated. All Jenna really fill, every pore, every hair, every supple muscle wanted from him was a good fuck and a bit of locked away tight in the strong-box of his affection now and again when the notion took mind, fuel for his hand later, passport to her, but Avon…oh, Avon was another kettle control and thus, safety. For that was his only of fish altogether. hope, that he could keep it to the mindless He undid his clothes a little, just enough to rutting of his body, a meaningless wank in be able to reach inside and soothe the fever of the quiet secrecy of the night. his skin with the surcease of his own cooler Avon’s lips parted, a sigh, as ethereal as hand. Not that it worked, of course, his hand the soul, bled from him and his hand firmed no cooler than the night, the heat just serving and gripped, even as his cock firmed and to make him even hotter, cock rigid and 21 ▼▼▼ grew. He arched, slightly, easing into a more demanding in the palm of his hand, pulsing comfortable position, legs spreadeagled, the as hard and as fast as his heart. Love. What inner sanctum of his body on display, vul- a dangerous word that was, when used in the nerable as a waking Avon dared never be. And same sentence as Avon. Still, he’d settle for then, Avon’s lips parted once more, another love, for all its pitfalls. fragment of his soul escaping him, a breath, Better that, surely, than this nagging a hint of truth so dangerous that only sleep knowledge of corruption, of something inside could set it loose, a Pandora’s box in reverse. going terribly, terribly wrong. The nagging A name upon those lips, a name formed by doubts came back, chewing on his bones, lips that Blake had so desperately needed to tangling all the tendons of his neck until he kiss. was painfilled with tension. He remembered Blake, Avon breathed, no sound, only the arguing with Avon, insisting that they leave a shape of Blake upon his lips, as if he were warning around Fosforon to warn travellers sucking Blake inside himself, with only the of the space plague. Quite clearly, as if it had shape of Blake to fill him. And seeing his only been this morning, he could recapture name formed and framed, Blake was lost. the sound of his voice telling Avon that he Lust, that excuse of convenience, was not refused to be responsible for the billions of enough, nor even close to it. For all his words deaths that might just possibly happen if one of bravado, for all his careful lies, was not of Servalan’s people somehow managed to get enough to disguise the truth. off Fosforon, could remember it so well. He Love. God help him, he loved Avon. simply could not, no matter how he tried, At least, as much as he feared that, he recapture the feeling of the moment, save for hoped it even more. For what would it make the licking of desire in his belly as he had him if it were something other than love that stood there duelling with Avon. Being re- drove him to this excess of possessiveness? sponsible for all those possible deaths… He

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▼▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

hadn’t wanted it, then, he knew that much, A sliver of sweat rained down his spine, but he couldn’t quite find the same feeling of making him shiver, refocussing him on where unity with the distant masses that he had and when he was. He blinked, rapidly, clearing had then. He had felt for them he knew that his vision and his mind, trying to re-establish as surely as he knew his name, but the feeling his inner balance, something that seemed to was lost to him somewhere between disillu- be getting harder and harder, since that last sionment and failure. Yet he’d recapture it, he bout of mind control the Federation had tried would. When he stood in Star One, when he on him. Sometimes, if he didn’t quite listen, stood with his hands on the control, he would if he pretended his mind was busy elsewhere, feel the emotion that matched this intellectual he could still hear that high-pitched tonal certainty he had…he hoped. whistle, just there, on the outskirts of his But he wasn’t wrong, was he, to want to mind. Calling to him, it was, all the time, he destroy the Federation? And everyone knew thought, but it was so hard to tell, so hard to that sometimes, to save the patient, you had sort it out from under the burden of respon- to cut out the disease so that the rest of the sibility he felt to get to Star One before Travis body could live. That’s all he was doing now, or Servalan did. He rubbed at his ear, trying wasn’t it? Nothing more. Just doing what was to make the faint whine disappear, but it took best for everyone. The voice in the back of his actually noticing Avon again to do that. Gods, head was very, very small, the barest zephyr but the man was beautiful! Just look at him of sound to whisper words that he didn’t want lying there, so naked and vulnerable and to hear, that told him of how much an strong, muscles firming out his skin, milk- inveigling pleasure it was to have command white skin in such glorious contrast to black and control over the Universe. And how much hair. Here, in the storm-lit night, all of Avon that command and control was embodied in looked either white or black, save for the the man lying sleeping on the bed. If he could blood-flushed rosiness of his cock. 22 control Avon, if he could command Avon… Blake wanted that cock in his mouth with ▼▼▼ As went Avon, so went the Galaxy? Well, it a sudden, fierce desperation that shocked would certainly appeal to Avon’s sense of him, making him stumble a step forward, importance. But if it were true, that Blake toward the forbidden heaven that lay on the tried to contain the Universe in Avon, if it were bed. He barked his shins on the chest at the true that Blake used Avon as a kind of litmus bottom of the bed, a shimmer of dust rising test, what did that say about Blake? from the intricate and lewd carvings, giving Nothing that Blake wanted to hear. Not a him even more ideas of what, precisely, he single thing. Not a single word he wanted could do to Avon. Or have Avon do to him. Oh, said, in his mind or in his hearing. He shushed gods, yes! his body screamed at him, cock his conscience, palming it off with reassuring rising so hard and hungry that he just had to pats and platitudes, telling it that he wasn’t touch himself, couldn’t not, couldn’t stop. As hunting Avon as a way of proving to himself for walking out from here, walking away from that he was right about what he was doing in Avon—easier for the stars to stop. He licked the larger scheme of things. Promised himself his lips, thinking about licking Avon’s cock, that he wasn’t after Avon to prove that as he tasting the salt of his own sweat, imagining knew best about this one man, this repre- the salt of Avon’s cum. Trousers undone now, sentative of the human race, then he would beginning their slow slide down his hips, surely know what was best for the rest of the slithering down his skin with a whisper so human race. Promised himself that it really akin to skin on skin that he heard his own was love for Avon, just as it really was the groan before he knew he was going to make purest humanitarian love that drove him to it. His right hand was milking his cock, his left destroy Star One. It had to be done, after all. smoothing the arch of his own buttocks, People had to be free. Free to make choices, wishing, wishing, that it was Avon he was free to live and love as they chose, not as touching, that it was Avon responding with dictated by the Federation and its puppets. such frantic desire to the touch of his hands.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▼▼▼▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

But it wasn’t, was it? It was only himself, all particularly not for them. Avon would, in the alone in his fantasy, with Avon lying oblivious end, thank him. And just think, it would end in dreams, unknowing and uncaring that the loneliness for both of them. It would bring Blake was dreaming awake of him. And if he them both some happiness, would take this were to awaken Avon? If he were to awaken hollow coldness out of both of them. Avon with the traditional kiss so beloved of And it would prove Blake right. After the fairy tales? He’d have his head in his hands to protests for form’s sake, Avon would settle play with, that’s what. Avon would kill him, down, would welcome him. Would give him no doubt about that, for daring to take ad- his due, would open his heart and his legs to vantage of him. Blake. Would let them start all over again, But… Look at Avon, lying there, yes, but from the beginning, but make it better, better actually look at him. Naked in the heat, tiny than it had ever been before. Yes. Oh, yes, faint flush of arousal blooming on his chest, Avon would thank him in the end. dapple of sweat in the intermittent light, dark Carefully silent, Blake climbed over the thatch of hair cradling a cock that was long chest, his knee barely indenting the resil- and sweet and hard. Hard. With Avon’s hand iency of the bed, the movements so small that nested near by, with Avon’s eyelids flickering Avon didn’t surface from the depths of his with his dream, whilst Avon’s body pleasured dreams, stirring no more than he had when itself as his mind did. the thunder had gravelled around him. And he had mouthed a name. Blake. He Clothes draped over him, chest and belly and had mouthed Blake’s own name and what groin exposed, shirt-tails soothing softly over could that mean, but that he was dreaming of his arse, Blake crawled up the bed, until he Blake, but that he was loving Blake? Gods, was arched over Avon like a bower, his body Avon wanted him as much as he lusted after straining to touch, his hands trembling with Avon. As for the love…well, no-one could tell the effort to contain his passion. He wanted to by looking how Blake felt about Avon, so why say Avon’s name, wanted to wake him and 23 ▼▼▼ should he expect to know how Avon felt? How have Avon smile up at him. Wanted so much indeed? But Avon had mouthed his name… for Avon to accept him willingly, with a desire Avon wanted him. Blake pulled his shirt to match Blake’s own. Wanted so much for it open, his aching nipples needing touching, to be all right. needing the feel of a hand on them and he Wanted so much to be right. stroked his nipples with the same rhythm he Another slash of lightning, and later, from stroked his cock. With the same rhythm he long, long away, the cymbal of thunder, the wanted to stroke inside Avon, loving him so storm departing with the same childish haste gently, fucking him so sweetly. it had raced in on. The rain was beginning Avon had said his name. The knowledge now, a patter here, a splat there, then the was intoxicating, driving reason from him. cascade, the torrent falling in sheets, a bright Another low tremor of thunder, and Avon rush of sound, liquid and soft and hard all at shifted, marginally, the annoyance of the once, enveloping them in the musical ca- weather disturbing him a little. The very tip of cophony, cutting Blake off from the world. his ring finger brushed the very tip of his Avon’s eyes opened, all of a sudden, all of cock, causing him to smile with a lust so a brightness, no second of disorientation sweet that Blake wanted to fuck him right revealed, as if he had expected nothing more now. So why not? Why not give them both than to wake in the lateness of the evening to what they wanted? Oh, all right, he conceded, find Blake leaning over him. But then, as so Avon might very well protest a little at Blake thought, staring into the well-known first—who wouldn’t, after being woken from and better-loved brown eyes, perhaps that a deep and obviously pleasant dream? But was nothing more than the truth. Who knew once he realised what was going on, what what dreams went on in the sanctum Blake was doing to him… It wasn’t often a sanctorum of Avon’s mind. Who knew what man got what he wanted, not in this life, most they had been doing in the comfortably dark

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▼▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

warmness of Avon’s mind. Making love, obvi- And then Avon bit him. Then Avon’s hands ously, going by the erection that had inspired came to life, gripping Blake’s upper arms, his own. Making love, with Avon, he mused, fingers biting into him as Avon’s teeth bit into and found himself with a fond smile on his his lower lip. Gasping, he drew back, shock face, betraying him to the man under him. covering his face like the rain blanketing the But then, as he reminded himself, one could night-dark window, pulling away from this only be betrayed to an enemy. To a friend, to sudden sharpness that was Avon. He opened a lover, one could only be revealed. And he felt his mouth to speak, and found it filled not no anguish at that, at the being laid wide open with words, but with Avon’s tongue, a tongue for Avon to see and read what he would. It that pushed into his mouth, taking over, was, in fact, rather giddy, to be this vulner- delivering pleasure with a ruthlessness that able, this honest with Avon, of all people. To jolted him all the way to the tip of his cock. make love with him… Avon’s hands released him, his arms tingling He leaned down, very, very slowly, his lips where Avon’s grip had begun to bruise, the parting slightly, his breath coming lightly, blood rushing to pool under the surface to preceding him, laying down claim markers form Avon’s mark on him. A second, and then for what he was going to take. His mouth there was a scream in his throat as Avon’s touched Avon’s, briefly, oh so briefly, the hands clamped down on his arse, wrenching scantest of caresses, the deepest of promises, his cheeks apart, the caress of the night air as all the love of which he was capable shown by severe as a blow. The strength in those hands the very sweetness of his kiss. He drew back was almost frightening, the power seductive. a little, to look in Avon’s eyes, but those dark Avon was surging up under him, thrusting at brown eyes were closed, eyelids shuttering him, his cock sharp and hard in Blake’s belly, them away from him, but Avon’s mouth was fucking him as if to go straight through the open, Avon’s face was vulnerable, begging skin to his heart. There were animal growls in 24 Blake to continue the soft loving that had his mind, or in his mouth, he didn’t know ▼▼▼ obviously made his dreaming so honeyed. He which, all of him topsy-turvy and inside-out, lowered himself a little again, until his body all his preconceptions tangled like knitting, lay upon Avon, joining them hip and chest, the skein of his nerves tied in knots of plea- their hearts beating together, each one racing sure. Avon’s hands left him, letting the air the other, whilst their breath leaped and chill his skin, until those same hands came trembled through them. Blake kissed Avon down on him in cracking heat, Blake’s back again, his lips and tongue silken upon Avon, arching with the unexpected joy of the pain moistness mingling as they kissed and kissed, that burnt through him, singing through his Avon responding as slowly as a man still blood. My god, he had time to think, what’s he asleep. But then, and the thought made doing to me? I’ve never been like this, I’ve Blake smile against Avon’s mouth, poor Avon never wanted this, my god, don’t ever let him quite possibly thought he still was dreaming stop… of the lover he had never dared ask for, And he was shifted, moved as if he were dreaming of the man who made him so hard, nothing more than a lump of flesh put there saying the name in his sleep. Gods, Avon had for Avon’s amusement; then he was across said his name! To think that Avon belonged to Avon’s knees, and brusque hands were him so much that he even dreamed about grabbing his cock and shoving it down between him, when all the barriers were down, when Avon’s legs, to press there so hard and hungry the core of who and what Avon was governed against Avon’s cock. Strong thighs clamped him, to think that then was when Avon had shut, trapping them there together, and when said his name! He had been right, he knew, Avon’s hand came down upon his arse again, feeling Avon’s body quicken under his, he was thrust, achingly, against Avon’s cock, muscles rippling, mouth kissing him back with the hair of Avon’s balls tantalising him with frantic fervour. He had been right all with a delicate pleasure that was exquisite along… counterpoint to the sharp pain that was

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▼▼▼▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ becoming ecstasy on his rump. It occurred to subdued, could feel Avon’s anticipation of him that he should fight, that he should stop Blake’s surrender. Avon from doing this, that he should insist Well, he couldn’t have it. The rebelliousness that they share and share alike, that they in him was too strong, too untamed to submit should go for more conventional pleasures, to any form of control, an abrupt kick of his that they should make love. will clearing his mind for him. Oh, he’d give Ah, but there it was in a nutshell. Make his body over to anything Avon damned-well love? When they loved hating each other and chose, but he’d keep his spirit. Didn’t they say hated loving each other? When everything that the submissive one was the one truly in they had was based on the endless, ceaseless control? The one truly with the power? Yes, fulcrum of power? Why should they do any- he’d say that. Avon would, too, by the time he thing so simple as make love when they was finished with him. They’d just see who couldn’t even have a conversation that was would pull back first. He groaned, deep in his anything less than a mine-strewn maze? He throat, writhing in blatant delight under Avon’s conceded, sinking into the illicit sensuous- punishing slaps. And it was a punishment ness of Avon’s game, of Avon’s power, of Blake had no idea he craved until he got it. It Avon’s cleverness in knowing so well what was invigorating, uplifting, to feel this pain, to Blake wanted, even when Blake himself hadn’t feel it transmute into pleasure, as all his known. So why should he bother with sur- failures and sins were taken away by the prise? He had always known how clever Avon clever knowingness of those hands. He spread was. His cheeks were spread, and he felt the his legs more, exposing his vulnerability, impertinence of a thumb playing over him, silently daring Avon to go that far. teasing his arsehole, making him arch sud- He almost came when that hand slammed denly, breathlessly, up to meet the guerrilla into him, pain shooting through his body and that refused to strike. He wanted this, oh almost right out of his cock. The palm of fuck, fuck, fuck, I want you, Avon, do it, go on, Avon’s hand was centred sure and hard on 25 ▼▼▼ fuck me, get inside me, go on, go on… But he his arsehole, sending the nerves there into a didn’t say it. Avon’s thumb plunged into his spasm of ecstasy, while his balls ached de- arse, dry and burning and hurting, and lectably in the aftermath of Avon’s fingers. Avon’s other thumb plunged into his mouth, Gods, he had no idea sex could be like this. wet and cool and ecstatic. He sucked on that Had no idea that Avon could be like this. thumb, like a child at his mother, while he But he had known he himself was like this. whimpered with the pain that was filling his Avon was the gatesman, throwing open the rear. Those clever hands knew what they closed doors, hauling up the portcullis, casting were doing, plundering him arrhythmically, light upon the dusty corners where Blake’s never letting him predict what was going to dreams lived. He had dreamt this before—or happen next. He almost wept when Avon perhaps done it, erst the Federation had withdrew from him, but his head was thrust thieved his memories from him—had dreamt down until he was drowning in the pillow and this whilst he hadn’t dared it. Clever, clever his arse was being set on fire by a flurry of Avon to make his dreams real. He would blows that went slapping and cracking thank him, later, perhaps, if he could ever through the room, the sound ricocheting off find his tongue again. Abruptly, he was tossed the softness of the rain. It was childhood all onto his back, the pillow shoved under his over again, his own or someone else’s, himself neck, Avon’s cock rammed into his mouth. under a man’s hands, or someone else under He opened up, taking the hardness inside, his, he couldn’t tell. But this took him back, sucking it, plying his tongue on it, tasting this reminded him of sweet sin and deviant Avon. Hands were in his hair, pulling his delight. He was on the verge of begging, on the head up, Avon fucking his face harder and very tip of yielding, giving himself over to harder, not letting Blake breathe, not letting Avon. He could feel Avon’s power, could feel Blake pull back. He was choking, choking, Avon’s glee at having Blake so thoroughly and Avon wouldn’t stop and he couldn’t

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▼▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

breathe and gods this was fantastic. He tried had been beaten from them by the Servalans to take even more in, but his nose was already and Travises of this universe. buried in the coarseness of pubic hair, Avon’s When Avon reached for Blake’s arse, Blake balls slapping his chin, getting wet with clenched himself shut, forcing Avon to push Blake’s sucking of his cock. There wasn’t a harder, to force Blake to do what Avon needed sound coming from Avon, apart from the rasp him to do. He recognised, in that moment of of breath and the wetness of his cock thrusting defiance, what they were both doing: Avon in and out of Blake’s mouth. With an aggressive living the fantasy of committing rape, and he surge of hunger, Blake wanted to break that himself living the fantasy of being raped, of silence, to rend that control like so much having all the responsibilities taken from off tissue, ripping Avon open as surely as Avon his shoulders. To be free of all moral duty, to was ripping him. be free from making justifications and excuses He set to with a will, using every skill that for what he wanted or did. To put it all on had supposedly been lost with his memory, Avon’s amoral back, let him carry it. For what sucking and licking Avon voraciously. And negativity could there be for Avon? They both then he bit Avon, as Avon had bitten him. knew that if Blake seriously wanted this There was utter silence for a moment, not whole thing to stop, then all he would have to even the sound of a breath or a heartbeat, and do is fight him and it would be over, leaving then he heard Avon’s lush groan, and the them slightly bruised and battered perhaps, hands in his hair tightened convulsively as but it would be over. This, he thought, as Avon’s secret was set free. Blake bit him Avon hauled and pulled at him, grabbing him again, just enough to deliver the soupçon of by the wrist, twisting his arm up behind his pain that would be poignant perfection, Avon back in vicious immobility, was really quite shuddering in his mouth with the pleasure of perfect. To be raped by the man he had it; then Blake was left hollow, as Avon with- chosen to take him, to rape by forcing Avon to 26 drew, shaking hands upon his body, turning do what Blake himself wanted ▼▼▼ him, moving him, taking away all hint of He allowed himself a sigh, careful to make autonomy. He stiffened, silently protesting it sound like a moan of pain, squirming when the change, silently refusing Avon this power Avon’s hand reached for his cock—after all, it over him. And he was hit again, and the simply would not do for Avon to find out just pleasure took his underpinnings from him, how turned on Blake was, now would it? The leaving him as solid as a house built on sand. fantasy would be destroyed then, rent asunder He shifted, pushing back, pushing away from by the intrusion of reality. And that was the Avon, but the hands on him were stronger last thing Blake wanted. He twisted aside than he expected them to be. Face hidden again, when he felt Avon’s wet fingers try to away, he grinned with elation whilst his body probe him, laughing to himself at the groan of challenged Avon to go that bit farther, to push combined fury and frustration he won from their limits that bit closer to the edge. He Avon. Oh, good, Avon was getting as taut- locked himself rigid so that Avon couldn’t strung as a violin and his hands were shaking manœuver him, but oh, how Blake could as they forcibly subdued Blake. Again, a wet manipulate Avon. If he couldn’t have the finger came to open Blake, and again Blake banal simplicity of lovemaking, then he’d fought, forcing Avon to renew his punishing have all the complexity that was in Avon. He’d grip on Blake’s arse. Go on, Blake willed him, force the man to face parts of himself that you know what you have to do. You’ve no were better left buried, parts that would choice left, my Kerr, but to do it, unless you shake his foundations, even as Avon was want to rub yourself raw. You need me wet, undermining Blake. But that was how one Kerr, so go on, do it. I’ll let you rape me if you reached the truth, that was how one learned do… to trust, to look beyond oneself. Yes, he’d As if he had heard, Avon did it, his tongue show Avon, teach them both how to reach shockingly hot and wet on Blake’s arsehole, out. Give them both back the feelings that the limber strength plunging into him, wet-

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▼▼▼▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ting him, making him tremble all over as he this. I own you now, because you think you’ve was penetrated, as the violation began with just dominated me, but I’m the one who calls Avon’s submission. He pushed back, arse the shots. I’m the one who decided what I muscles relaxing, Avon’s tongue going deeper, wanted, aren’t I? And you’ll feel so guilty for making Blake wet enough that Avon could raping me, won’t you? I’ll use that, to set you enter him without causing himself agony. free. No need for you to be so cold and distant. But Blake wasn’t going to let him off without Not with me. Ooh, yesss, do that again, oh, do some pain, oh, no, not that. So when the that again. Let me feel you fuck me all the way tongue eased free, when the last biting kiss to my soul, yesss, like that, like that… left him, when the daunting bulk of Avon’s He lost all semblance of thought, awash in cock pressed at his arse, Blake tightened up, the sensations, asea in the strength of the making Avon work for it, making himself man over him and in him. He was moving in work and suffer for it. It hurt, the pain perfect harmony with Avon, voices and bod- bringing tears to his eyes, even as it turned ies commingling, breath harsh and united, him into a conflagration of pleasure. He could sweat rubbing off, one to the other. Avon was feel Avon’s fury, could feel the way Avon was thrusting into him, hard and harder, long struggling to push in. Could feel all the strokes giving way to shorter ones, rhythm battling that would convince Avon later, when failing him, until he arched, perfectly still, as sanity had calmed the rutting fever, that deep inside Blake as he could ever be. Then Avon had raped him. he was moving again, shudderingly deep When actually, Blake smiled to himself, thrusts, Blake drinking him in, devouring his teeth bared on the skin of his forearm, him as he had wanted to from the start, teeth tugging at the tiny hairs, a pain to absorbing him until they were one. Avon’s mitigate the pain in his arse, a pain to add to weight was heavy on Blake’s back, Avon’s the pleasure, it’s the opposite way round, cock heavy inside him, his own balls tight and isn’t it, my poor Kerr? You think you’re the full, his cock seeping, quivering on the verge 27 ▼▼▼ one, you think you’re the only one who of orgasm. A quick blur of his hands, knuckles chooses to follow instead of being led by the white, fingers taut, and he was there, cum nose. Well, let me tell you, Kerr fucking Avon, spurting from him, his seed spent in Avon’s you’re led by your cock, aren’t you? Just bed. listen to you, huffing and puffing over me. I He pushed Avon off, smiling inwardly, bet if I could see your face now, you wouldn’t arranging his features in an outward ex- be the super-cool Alpha élite, would you? pression of righteous outrage. And was met Animal rutting, bestial lust, that’s what I’ve with a look of such contemptuous compre- reduced you to. You want me so badly, you’ll hension that all the words died unborn. Avon do anything it takes to have me. Including lay back on the bed, his cock reddened from rape, and you know what a weapon that is its punishing pillaging of Blake’s body, his against you, don’t you? You and your pecu- eyes heavy and lustrous with satiation. And liar set of ethics. You’ll hate yourself for amusement. getting out of control like this, won’t you? Oh, Oh, gods, Blake thought, he knows. The but feel how sweetly you slide inside me. I can bastard knows… feel every detail of you, did you know that? I No. The bastard thinks he knows, the can feel your balls banging into mine, god, bastard hopes he knows. I’ll show him, I’ll but that’s fantastic. And I can feel your hair prove to him… on my arse, and your belly against my back. And Avon half-laughed, shook his head I can hear you breathing and I can feel it. Can and turned his back on Blake, pulling the feel you all the way inside me, touching me, sheet up over his shoulder as if the night had just there, oh, gods, that’s fucking fantastic, been devoid of anything but solitude. As- yesss, just there, like that. Want that, Kerr, tounded, Blake knelt behind him, shut out so but I’m going to struggle, because it’s better completely that the fury came upon him out that way. You’ll never be able to leave me after of nowhere. He grabbed Avon, pulling him

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ HEATSTROKE ▼▼▼▼▼ GAEL X. ILE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

over, only to meet eyes that knew, everything, show him. He’d show him that Avon had been more than Blake did, more than Blake wanted wrong about Star One. He’d show Avon he’d to. Eyes that dared Blake to turn the tacit been wrong about love. Yes. He’d show him. fantasy into bitter reality. Eyes that Blake He got to his feet, gathering up clothes that didn’t care to meet. had come off in the heat of the moment, Truths that Blake didn’t care to meet. fastening clothes that had clung to his skin Truths that didn’t bear thinking about. while he’d been otherwise occupied. Avon Trust Avon to ruin everything. Trust Avon was still lying in the bed, his back to Blake, not to see the truth the way he was meant to. exuding mocking contempt. Blake stared at Trust Avon, he told himself, consigning truth him for a moment, thinking of how different and fairness to the corner of his mind it would be, when they stood together after populated by nothing but ghosts and guilts, Star One and saw how much better off the trust Avon to make it all so difficult. Well, he’d Universe was. And when they saw how right show Avon. If Avon could understand about Blake had been. love, if Avon couldn’t reach out after sex, Without a backward glance, he left the then, well, he’d just have to show him else- room, going to his own, and his own plans. where, wouldn’t he? And where better than He’d show Avon. Star One? Avon thought him a fool for even And how very sweet revenge would be, pursuing Docholli, never mind destroying when served piping hot and panting. Oh, yes, Star One. Let him wait, let him wait. He’d he’d show Avon…

28 ▼▼▼

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼E ST QUAEDAM FLERE VOLUPTAS ▼ There is in weeping a certain pleasure. Two ▼ pieces from Sebastian, that writer of darkly, ▼ ▼ bittersweet tales, who refuses to see easy ▼ ▼ resolution to the Avon/Blake relationship. Here ▼ ▼ there is the initial discovery of desire, of venery, ▼ ▼ and a probing of the idea that imminent danger ▼ or death can be a sexual turn on. The second ▼ ▼ story continues with what the first one has set ▼ ▼ in motion and leaves us waiting for more. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ SEBASTIAN ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

T HE MAN SAT VERY STILL, HIS HEAD materialise at his will, coming swiftly down 29 ▼ ▼▼▼ delicately tilted as if concentrating on some the steps to the flightdeck; but the entrance exquisite task: the table however was empty, framed nothing but emptiness. save for his hands laid there, fine hands, the With a brittle laugh Jenna said, “I should fingers laxly curled. His profile was calm, the think he’s sulking in a dark corner. You long straight nose and sculpted mouth a pushed him just about to the limit.” giveaway to the darkeyed and darkhaired There was no condemnation in her tone; Roman ancestry buried many generations respect, rather; she was proud of Blake, deep in his heritage. whom she admired, for putting Avon, whom Long, darksilk lashes stirred gently as he she did not, so crushingly in his place. breathed in, and out, quite peacefully. “I had to. He’d argue night was day if I said No clues here to the fires within, the vivid the opposite.” A wide strong type with tight passions lodged between flat belly and lean brown curls and ruffian’s clothes, Blake took thigh, the dark turmoil in his heart and the a pacy turn around the couches, eyes set anger pulsing in his blood: the words which forward. “Let Avon get out of hand and we’ve rang in his head over and over. lost. I need Avon. God help us all, I wish I “Get to your position” didn’t.” His head came up and his eyes opened Brilliant and complex, Avon seemed to wide, then narrowed as the deadly sting of it have an energetic devil inside him: with Roj seeded itself and grew, a twisted hemlock root Blake inscribed on its wickedly-pronged fork. of gnarled and ignoble descent. Difficult wasn’t the half of it: Avon seemed He knew what to do now. Perhaps he might hell-bent on perverting Blake’s every move even enjoy it. and motive, arguing his way at every turn, his predatory tongue twisting every way to wear “WHERE’S A VON?” Blake said peremptorily. “I Blake’s purpose down. need him.” He swung round as if Avon might His was a lone voice, though Blake sensed

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

that didn’t trouble him: the man was clearly ture book of Blake’s; a shadowed tower in the born to be a loner with his contrary nature, moonlight, a secret, dangerspiced tryst to where darkness conflicted with his sweeter watch some mysterious dance of the planets. urges—and usually won. The others neither He shrugged as he made for the door. liked, nor trusted Avon. They seemed happy “Frankly, I’d rather have the sleep.” Behind enough to follow Blake, who was large, warm, him, Avon’s voice did not rise, but every word passionate in belief and purpose: everything was clear as ice. Avon was not. Blake held them in the palm of “Either you come, or I won’t touch the his hand and ran them ragged. They didn’t Epsilon 9 computers. It’s up to you, Blake.” seem to mind. “Blackmail, Avon?” he said, lip curled. He Avon, however… wasn’t worried. He could handle Avon. It was Avon was, so far, resisting the trumpet-call tricky and time-consuming and required of glorious Causes. strong nerve; but he always won, in the end. Jenna said, with sympathy: “He never lets Blake leaned on Avon with all his force of will; up on you, does he?” and sooner or later Avon shut his mouth on Blake smiled at her, a dimple dancing in acrid dissent and buckled into line, however his cheek and a light in his eye. “Don’t worry. sour the taste on his tongue. I think I’ve got the measure of Avon.” Of course, forcing a creature such as Avon to swallow such bitter stuff had its price: He ran Avon to ground in his cabin. He namely that he could never turn his back on said, folding his arms and leaning against the Avon and be sure; never leave him behind on door, “I need you to start work on getting Liberator with any certainty that that miser’s through to those defence computers on Ep- hoard of resentments might not surface and silon 9.” Avon take the sweetest revenge of all. Dressed in greys and blacks, with his “Call it what you like,” Avon said, with that 30 usual meticulous attention to detail, a leather same, greyish detachment. “But if you’re not ▼▼▼ belt at his waist and his hair groomed and here, then nothing and no-one will get you shining, Avon looked up at him with brilliant what you want from Epsilon 9, for I certainly dark eyes. won’t and no-one else can.” “Yes, you do, don’t you?” he observed, and Blake left the room, untroubled: for when he gave Blake a smile. It wasn’t a pleasant had Avon not carried out his every demand? smile, and his tone was not precisely what Avon might flicker viciously as a serpent’s Blake was expecting. eye, but there was nothing to back it up, no “So get started,” he said curtly, and turned real power to put up against Blake’s own. to leave. Exchanges with Avon were best kept But time drew on, and something about to a minimum: get in fast, strike low, leave Avon’s lack of anger, his cool, uninflected while Avon was still thinking about it. tone of voice, his very stillness, stayed with “Just a minute.” Avon’s cool voice reached him more forcefully than Avon’s snapping him before he got through the door and Blake temper would have done. At 2200, or a little halted his steps but didn’t turn. “That’s today’s after, he found himself at Avon’s cabin door: order, is it?” curiosity, he told himself. Maybe Avon was “That’s right,” Blake said crisply. going to unfold some mysterious wonder “Well, now I have one for you. Come back before his eyes. here at 2200.” Avon answered his quiet knock promptly, Blake turned a wintry stare on him. the door sliding open. He looked neat and “Whatever for?” spruce and unsurprised; there was, Blake “I’ll tell you then,” Avon replied: no emotion. noted with some disquiet, a blaster strapped “That’s the middle of my sleep period.” to his waist. Avon gave the ghostliest of smiles. “Miss “You’re late, Blake. But then I expected it,” he suggested. that. Always the little psychological thrust This had the scent of a childhood adven- with you, isn’t there?”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Well?” Blake said coldly, stepping inside. showing of teeth. “I see you don’t need to. I “What’s all this about?” Behind him the door wouldn’t argue with your rating, Blake; and swished shut. Avon stepped past him with a nor, I think, would you argue with mine.” For polite ‘excuse me’ and touched his palm to the one brief moment, his tone was rich with lock. Blake’s eye was caught by the action. He contentment; but it left him as the smile fled frowned. from his lips and he leaned back a little, the “I think I should just tell you,” he said with better to concentrate his gaze on Blake. utter cool, “that Jenna knows where I am.” He “And if you think about it, which I don’t eyed Avon’s weapon once, and looked up. suppose you ever do, the most elementary Avon lifted one eyebrow. “Really. Do you psychology will tell you that, by treating me want her to spectate? By all means, call her.” like you would the lowest grade of lifeform, He actually indicated the intercom, seemed you are simply ensuring that I will leave you. to be waiting for a reply. Blake gave him the And on the unhappiest of terms.” coldest of looks, took a turn around the room “You haven’t left yet,” Blake growled. and sat down, throwing one leg over the other “Don’t push it,” Avon said, snapping up and leaning back in the chair. abruptly. “Because that’s the one thing you “I’m waiting,” he said with sarcastic bore- don’t want, isn’t it Blake? You can’t afford it. dom. Your precious Revolution needs me, and you “Yes: and patience is not one of your know it.” shining virtues, is it?” Avon regarded him “Oh, get to the point, Avon.” Blake’s bored with dispassion, the black arch of his eyebrows voice did not reflect his feelings, gave no voice narrow and demonic above the dark, enig- to the trouble growing inside him, the uneasy matic glitter of his eyes. He leaned against the feeling that he was not, for once, a step ahead. desk and watched Blake. “The point?” Avon said, calm. “I thought “Avon, I’m tired, I want to get to bed,” Blake you knew the point. It’s obvious, isn’t it? After said roughly. “Get on with it. That’s if you your little display of power-hungry ego today, 31 ▼▼▼ have anything to say.” it’s finally happened. I’ve reached my limit. I Avon flipped a light on, unexpectedly. It will not and shall not take any more from you shone directly into Blake’s eyes. He shifted a without certain provisos of my own.” little, shielding them from the glare. Blake lounged back with ready insolence. “What rating did you have as a member of “So what do you want?” he asked with fine the Federation, Blake?” Avon asked him, contempt. “A kiss to take the sting away?” inconsequentially. The room seemed suddenly very still. He lifted his chin and answered sturdily: “I was thinking more of reciprocation “Alpha A,” without hesitation; part of one’s theory,” Avon said, with an odd, dark chill in life, ratings stuck and could never be entirely his voice. shed. He moved restlessly, out of the main Surprise and disquiet flowered in Blake’s beam of the light. mind: the very word sent a shiver down his “High,” Avon mused, narroweyed. “But spine, a fingertip grazing on his nerves as he that’s about what I would have given you. remembered… Reciprocation. Another of the Perhaps a little higher than I would have Federation’s little tricks to ensure tractabil- given you. You must have met the assessors— ity. Blake remembered as if it were yesterday ” he smiled downwards, dusting his sleeve the little enclosed room, the bright, harsh with one hand— “on one of your better days.” lights, the disembodied voice of the His head snapped up and met Blake’s eyes. questionmaster who hated your guts: some- “What was mine, I hear you ask?” times your boss, sometimes the man beneath “No, you don’t,” Blake said; because Avon you, forcing upon you a ritual psychological had Alpha-Elite stamped all over him from humiliation intended to purge grudges and the dark harmony of feature and form to the frustrations before they got anywhere near beautiful voice and prettiest of wits. Avon the point of threatening the efficiency of the laughed at him, a sudden, sharp white work force. Blake’s mind shied away from the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

memory of some of those sessions, flatly “No time like the present, is there, Avon?” rebelling. “This is a deal then—is it?” “Not a chance,” he said, forcefully. “That “It’s a deal,” Blake told him, carefree. He sort of thing is one of the reasons I’m fighting yawned; his joints clicked. the Federation: civilised men don’t need to be “Turn around, then, Blake.” brought to heel like mindwhipped dogs.” Blake did so, slowly, and his pupils shrank “No?” Avon said. “I rather thought you to tiny pinheads as the light arrowed into his might say that. In that case, Blake, I’ve eyes and dazzled him. finished with you, and your very noble Cause: “Sit down,” Avon said, and all Blake could it can shrivel up and die as far as I’m concerned see was the nozzle of the blaster swinging up and you with it. You can set me down at the and aiming straight at him. His heart plum- next habitable planet.” meted into his stomach at a speed which Blake reconsidered. disoriented him and made him dizzy with a He could see that Avon meant it. That sense of nauseous starvation. quiet, unstirred certainty bespoke a limit “I don’t recall reciprocation ever went this passed. He hesitated, thinking: steepling his far, he said with a dry mouth. hands and watching Avon over the top of “Then you were lucky,” Avon said gravely. them, yet not seeing him, seeing visions Blake felt chilled to the soul, water churning instead, the death of his hopes, the crumbling painfully in his bowels as he stared at the of ambition. weapon balanced across Avon’s wrist: Avon “There’s no other way, Blake,” Avon said as was a good shot, the best besides Blake coolly as if this weird deal were credible, even himself, better even. Besides, even Vila could possible: “I can’t live with your unashamed hardly miss from a distance of five feet. manipulations and your derisory bullying by “Avon—” and Avon’s voice leapt out at him day and by night without some return of my like a flame in the dark— 32 own. It’s not psychologically viable—even you “Shut up Blake; and sit down.” ▼▼▼ can see that. You won’t give me reasoned Blake dropped into the chair. He watched discussion and mutual decisions and a shar- Avon steadily and wondered whether to ing of responsibility. So you must give me chance it and dive for the door. Then he something else.” remembered that slick palmpress as he en- Blake thought of his glorious cause, a tered; after all, he would have to see it through. universe wide, a bigger concern than personal “That’s better,” Avon said, his tones cool vanity; the ambitious plans he would need and clear. “What a fireball you are, Blake; all every scrap of help to have a chance of fine ideals and heroic energy whirling around carrying out. He thought of Avon’s brilliance a zero core of common sense. Take off your and Avon’s knowledge like a storehouse of clothes.” invaluable treasures there for his rifling: all Blake bolted upright and stared hard across lost to him should Avon leave. the room. “What?” He took a deep breath. “All right.” “You heard me.” Avon’s expression gained a little satisfac- “I damn well didn’t,” Blake growled, getting tion. “Very sensible of you.” to his feet. “For your sake as much as mine.” “Childish though it is,” Blake bit back. “One chance,” Avon warned him, his voice Avon’s half-smile deepened, darkened. “Oh, harsh as a nail snagged on silk. Over the don’t worry. It won’t be childish.” blaster he consulted his watch, timing some Blake felt a faint shiver of apprehension at unknown limit. Avon’s quietness; there was a stillness and a “You’re sick,” Blake told him bluntly, and calm about him which seemed quite un- he made for the door purposely. Avon shot natural. Determined not to let Avon psych him, with no hesitation and perfect aim. him, he rose to his feet and stretched, delib- The jagged yellow fireball zipped past him. erately turning his back, hands locking be- Blake gasped in shock and pain and clutched hind his neck. at his side. The naked heat had seared his

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ clothes away and singed tender skin; the wall going to let himself be fazed by Avon’s per- behind the chair was still smoking, blackened verted twists: he’d always suspected Avon of steel and wires protruding. He heard, but a streak of deviance and now he had the made no sense of it, the hum and click of satisfaction of being right. Liberator’s auto-repair unit come into auto- “Now what?” matic operation. He took two or three deep “I’ll let you know,” Avon said, with low, low breaths, to counteract shock, steady himself intensity. so he could stand on his feet. Blake began to feel a fool, standing there “Not only sick,” he said when he could, under Avon’s scrutiny. Part of Avon’s strat- between clenched teeth, “mad as well.” egy, no doubt. He tipped his head up and Avon’s eyes shone oddly in the dim light. stared Avon down staunchly, seeing no light “And here you are, alone with me on the at all in the dark gaze which dwelt on him wrong side of a gun. It must be worrying.” He searchingly. After a while Avon broke the swung the gun back up again, rested his tense silence. forearm across his thigh and balanced the “All right. Lie down, now. No, on the floor barrel across his wrist. “Well now. Let’s try will do.” again. Take off your clothes.” Blake lay down on his back and stared up Blake had a feeling of madness, of shock; at the ceiling with studied indifference. It was unable to recall at what incautious moment uncomfortable, the fibres tickling his bare he had shut his eyes, fallen straight into this skin. The fingers of one hand drummed the nightmare world of Avon’s. Avon half sat, half carpet in insolence. Avon walked around stood, with one hip hitched up on the table, him, black boots creaking. “Not childish, and watched Blake with half-shuttered eyes: Avon?” Blake taunted him, neck craning, Blake rallied, and pulled himself together, bold under Avon’s narrowed scrutiny. “But it setting his mouth grimly. seems to me that this is the sort of thing most With a show of defiance he came to stand of us get out of the system at six years old. I’m 33 ▼▼▼ in front of Avon, near, as near as he dared. He sorry for you.” Avon said nothing, just walked looked into Avon’s eyes all the time. He undid away from him, back over to the desk where the buttons of his fullsleeved white shirt, he took up his position again and watched down to his navel, slipped it off his shoulders Blake quietly. Blake felt an uneasy desire to and threw it to the ground. It was ruined, talk, break the tension he could feel pricking stinking of burnt cloth. He kicked off his at him like a web of static; he opened his shoes. His hands went to the buckle of his mouth and heard himself say: “It’s easy to leather belt, unfastened it, drew it slowly humiliate someone, isn’t it? Strip them naked through. and stare; the Federation would be proud of “Be very careful, Blake,” Avon warned him you, Avon.” with uncanny foresight. “Don’t make me— Avon’s silence, the strange black glitter of misunderstand. Even a miss would be very his eyes unnerved him more than any words uncomfortable at this range.” could. He sighed, very obviously, and closed Blake abandoned, for now, plans of in- his eyes to feign relaxation. surrection; and contented himself with a “Yes, humiliation is easy,” Avon’s voice smouldering stare of intensity right into Avon’s leapt softly at him, out of the dark. “Delivered sardonic eyes as he unzipped his trousers daily in small doses you use it on me like a and kicked them off to join the untidy heap. drug. You intimidate Vila; you fill a yawning It looked strangely out of place in Avon’s neat gap in Cally’s life—family and spiritual adviser cabin, committing an impropriety all of its all in one, something for Cally to believe in own. when she has lost everything else: Gan you “And the rest,” Avon said indifferently. dazzle with mental fireworks he couldn’t Blake stripped off his underwear and his hope to follow and so swallows as the only socks and put his hands on his hips, with certainty there is: Jenna you bewitch with utter defiance. He was damned if he was your body so that she is happy to be led by

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

your mind. And all this in the name of the only “All right, Avon, you’ve got me here and right, the only possibility… Are you proud of you’re damn well not going to waste the all this, Blake?” chance of telling me just how low your esti- “And you, Avon?” Blake said, without mation of my character is. I’m awed by your opening his eyes. “Which is it with you—are insight and duly chastened,” he said with icy you bewitched by my body, or am I something sarcasm. “Are you feeling better now you’ve for you to believe in?” got that off your chest?” “I don’t believe in you,” Avon hissed. “You’re His head snapped upwards as the blaster a dangerous man, Blake. Don’t think I haven’t jabbed into the soft underside of his chin. He met your like before; starry-eyed idealists opened his eyes in shock and looked straight who want to change the world. They have into Avon’s, very black and close, shining everything in common, including the fact with a peculiar intensity. that they all die, very young and dragging a “No, I’m not feeling better,” Avon whispered hell of a lot of their friends screaming with to him with hatred. “The truth might help them onto the glorious pyre of lost causes. It you, that’s if you’d listen to it, but it doesn’t never occurs to them to change the world help me at all.” The silky voice caressed him from within instead of trying to crack it from like a lover: the gun scraped hard along his outside like a nut; oh no, nothing but large skin. “Punishing you is the only way I can gestures of massive revolution suit their style come to terms with travelling your thought- and their little power complexes which de- less path to the screaming bloodbath and mand huge, bloody sacrifices to feed it, yet ensuing chaos you’ve set your great big loving they do it all in the name of—justice, and that heart on; and all the while you treat me as if is you, Blake.” I’m really not quite fit to tread in the marks left “I know I’m right in what I’m trying to do, by your saintly feet.” Avon,” Blake warned, low and quiet. “You “How else can I treat you, Avon,” Blake 34 won’t get through to me this way. So why asked, sweatily conscious of the blaster ▼▼▼ waste your breath?” jammed under his chin, ready to fry his Avon’s lip curled in a sneer, his voice a thin brains if he pushed Avon too far, “when you whine of contempt. “All fanatics know that they admit yourself that you can be bought? I have are right.” belief: but you, you’re available for purchase,” “And some of them are.” he said, putting his finger nicely on the cause Avon was looking at him as if he had lifted of Avon’s inner disturbance, “and knowing a dirty stone and found Blake lurking damply. you, the price is something unpleasant. You “The trouble with you, Blake,” he said, with know I’ll pay it, and you don’t care how much quick, measured judgement, “is that you’re I despise you for it. So why not get on with it?” really not very bright. You conceal a basic For a moment he thought he really had lack of foresight and intelligence with loud- gone too far, his heart leaping with fear as mouthed commando tactics and personal anger flared like a flame of insanity in Avon’s charisma. Perhaps you even believe in your— eyes, dark as death; the gun trembled at his ’Cause’—yourself. I wouldn’t know about that. throat and he knew he was going to die at I think perhaps you do believe it. So—you are Avon’s hands, here and now. Ridiculously, not a fraud. But that doesn’t make you the like a hanged man leaping out into the void, honest man you set such store by being. he felt lightheaded and dizzy, the terrible fear What you are building of your character is a melting into a rapturous lack of resistance, a cardhouse of illusions: watch your followers’ honeyed conviction that Avon was actually faces when it all comes tumbling down. As it going to do it, actually going to kill him and will. That is, of course, if they’re still alive to there was nothing at all he could do about it; watch.” there was a strange and delicious feeling Blake didn’t like that, didn’t like accusa- spreading warmly inside him as he tasted his tions of pretence and illusion when truth and own death and found it oddly sweet. honesty mattered to him more than anything. He closed his eyes, curled lashes wavering

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ shut. drop as deep as ever. And felt the gun lift away from him. He stared at Avon with boldeyed challenge. He looked again, sweat cooling on his skin, Your move. his throat choked and all his body hairs erect For a moment, just a few heartbeats of and tingling. Avon’s pallor was extreme; time, it seemed as if Avon had really lost his kneeling beside Blake he stared down at the way, and for good: in his stark silence Blake man who was naked save for the dark brush read reluctance and tasted triumph. of hair at chest and groin. It was startlingly And then, all at once, Avon found it again, obvious that Blake’s cock liked danger: up whatever nerve he needed to outplay Blake; hard, it was rigid as iron, wavering over his his eyes narrowed and his lips tightened, to belly and pointing up at his chin; Blake could reform in a smile both charming and perverse. see the flared head of it, weeping proudly. “Not as much as it is for you, from the look Embarrassing, to say the least. This happened of it.” And, looking into Blake’s eyes all the to him on the flightdeck regularly, battling while, he let the point of the gun fall down to with Avon on a flashtide of fury, adrenalin touch Blake’s erection; Blake felt the thrill of surging, skin electric with tension. Sexual it like an electric shock shooting up his spine, though the feeling was, it was absolutely more and more of them as the smooth warm impersonal; he was sure the same was true thing moved on him, causing little lightning for Avon. Avon had no sexual interest in men, rills of pleasure. The feeling was both terrible any more than Blake did. Conflict, now: the and wonderful, shifting the encounter onto a thrill of power: that was what lit the sudden new plane altogether: from this diffuse con- fires of lust. tact, the gun a go-between for his cock and Blake saw the truth in a flash, and his eye Avon’s fingers, it was a small step to— brightened as he saw his own advantage in “Death’s the biggest thrill of all, isn’t it, this peculiar pause, a suspension of time: he Blake?” Avon’s voice murmured. “You have a saw that, interestingly enough, responding to deathwish; and I’m playing to your perverse 35 ▼▼▼ this encounter in a sexual way had made fantasies.” Avon lose his grip on it. The gun, rounded and smooth like a Blake smiled at Avon dangerously. Oh yes, woman’s touch, caressed Blake again and he very interesting indeed. He did not like this shut his eyes as he inhaled sharply. “You’re peculiar sexual thread which had run so sick, Avon,” he managed, his cock pulsing a suddenly and so unexpectedly between them, hard and desperate rhythm it was difficult to but more than that, he sensed that Avon did ignore. not like it. He had not intended it and it Well, Blake, he said to himself, you’ve disquieted him: for sexuality to cloud the certainly thrown yourself to the lions now: clear-cut issue of domination that Avon was Avon would punish him for this. Better by far trying to impose upon him was not part of to have bowed down gracefully, let Avon Avon’s plan at all. extract whatever penance he needed, listen Blake smiled secretly to himself; for to him, even act a little humble as if Avon’s whosever flaw it was which had given way to words had given him food for thought: so that let this surge of forbidden feeling through, he Avon would go back to work feeling that he knew well enough which of them was going to had won a round, that it was worth fighting make the most ground out of it. on. That was what a sensible man would have All right then, Blake thought, come on. done, and Blake rued his own nature even as Let’s see what you can do with this. he smiled a diamond defiance up at Avon and “What’s this doing for you, Avon?” he watched the spring coil tight, tighter: and the asked him, with dark, smiling innuendo. His light in Avon’s eyes burn, and burn. voice was amazingly steady for a man who Abruptly Avon rose to his feet, sheathing had just faced his own death, who was still on the blaster as he did so, and stood astride a tightrope in the grasp of a psychopath who him. “Turn over.” hated him. Balancing, but only just, and the Well now.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

A frisson of fear struck into Blake at a new heart: but he would pay for it: Avon was and horrible thought; his erection, over- sharpening swords right now. sensitive to every precarious twist in this “This is what you need, Blake,” Avon hissed knife-edge scenario, dwindled palely on his to him, behind him. “You screw your follow- thigh. He stared up at Avon with dark sus- ers into the ground and stake them daily on picion, and forced the words through dry lips: the flagpole of revolution. How does it feel to “No deal, Avon.” be staked yourself? Don’t even think about it, Creating a sexual undercurrent was one Blake.” thing—Blake had no objection to flirting with Seizing his chance, Blake had moved; but Avon if it looked likely to disturb him—but he Avon was quicker. The blaster rammed into was suddenly afraid that Avon had fewer the tender opening, the tight mouth resisting inhibitions than he had reckoned on. this rude parting. Despite himself Blake Surprise, then anger, flittered in Avon’s gasped in shock and revulsion, his stomach expressive eyes, before all emotion was erased turning over and his guts twisting. by a smile of amusement which twisted his “I’ve got it now,” he whispered bitterly. mouth and creased the skin around his “What you want is to put your cock in me; but temples, beneath the dark hair clustering you haven’t quite got the nerve.” there. “You should be careful, Blake. Let me He heard Avon’s breathing, hard and fast know your real fears, and you could be in a lot behind him. of trouble. Turn over.” “Don’t tempt me, Blake.” “How would Del Grant take it, I wonder?” He might do it, Blake thought, madly Blake lashed out. “His precious sister, screwed amazed, he really might: and fear flashed by a frustrated queer.” through him: he had taken Avon past the That scored, unwisely and too well. A new point of no return. tension scented the air, rank with their sweat. Oh Christ, what have I done. 36 Resisting to the last, then giving in as Avon’s And then, in the tense and sweating silence, ▼▼▼ eyes burned blacker and the gun aimed at his he thought about the other side of the story; heart, Blake turned over and felt his heart about what it would do to Avon. Afterwards, thudding and tried desperately to look for when the urgency for orgasm was slaked and some way out of this. He could not believe you couldn’t quite remember why you had that even Avon— wanted it so badly, so fiercely that you would The blaster nudged its way between the pay any price: what would happen to Avon cheeks of his bottom and touched him there, then, in the bitter silence and the iciest gentle as woman’s finger. aftermath of all time? His skin crawling with horror, Blake let out And now Blake exulted, because victory an exclamation and tried to roll. Avon thrust was his, and very sweet it was; Avon would him down easily, one hand between his never be able to look him in the face again. shoulder-blades and a knee in his back. Oh, what a marvellous reversal of fortune; “Go to hell, Avon,” Blake snarled, flinging turning the tables had never been more richly all the force of his personality into it. satisfying as he contemplated the joy of it, the Avon’s voice held a smile and a fury in it. devastating sword he could forever wield over “Oh, I intend to.” Avon’s head while he kept Avon’s dark and “Now I know you’re perverted,” Blake nasty secret in return… And all he had to do whipped at him, sweat pouring from him as was keep on. Make Avon give in to the sudden the round snub point of the gun rested urge he was struggling with; and rape his against him, politely still, a snake asleep leader, here and now and violently, on the before striking. When it jerked a little his floor. heart thumped once and quickened, and he He moved sensuously, pressing his cock cursed himself roundly and silently. He was down into the rough carpet and parting his too good at it, finding the right needles to slide legs in invitation; his sweaty buttocks unstuck in under Avon’s bloodless skin to reach his slowly and bared his anus to the air.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Immediately, Avon hit him. The flat of his ecstasy he felt gathering in his loins. hand smacked solidly into Blake’s buttocks, Suddenly, shockingly, he felt a hard kick a stinging thrill rather than a pain. thunder into his ribs. Blake winced and lay “Stop that,” Avon hissed. “Don’t think I still. He heard the clatter of the gun as Avon can’t read you, Blake. You haven’t got where kicked it to one side. you are without being a prime manipulator, “Lie on your back.” quite inspired at times. Why do think I’m not Slowly Blake rolled and lay there, in a a convert? Because I can see inside you, beautiful state of arousal. Avon stared down Blake, the beast inside the saint.” at him, hard and dark and menacing. His Undaunted, Blake stayed where he was, eyes glittered with contempt, with anger, with head turning more comfortably to one side, hatred. speaking low and crudely, the veneer of “You disgust me, Blake.” politesse stripped away now they were down “Then walk away,” Blake said. His gaze to this: laced delicately with Avon’s, weaving black “Come on, Avon, do it: why not? I’ll bet it magic. Avon dragged his eyes away. He kicked feels wonderful: they say it is. Revenge is what Blake’s hard erection with the toe of one you want, isn’t it? Well, here’s your chance. If leather boot. Blake shut his eyes, his head you want to fuck me, do it now: you’ll never dropping back and turning to one side. Avon’s get another chance.” voice floated down to him: “I’m not so sure of that, Blake.” Avon’s “I doubt, I really doubt, that your loyal voice was the merest, darkest whisper, very followers would continue to admire you, close to his ear, and resounding in the hol- knowing you have such—propensities.” lows of his head like the swell of an ocean “Aren’t you going to tell them?” Blake booming in a cave. “I never thought it before— asked sarcastically. He added, eyeing Avon’s never dreamed—but maybe a master is just darkclad figure, “Do you always have sex with what you’ve been looking for.” your clothes on, Avon? Sadists like you always 37 ▼▼▼ Something nagged at Blake; he tried to pin have such little cocks.” He flaunted his own, it down but it slipped away from him as Avon leaning up on his elbows. continued, bleak with disgust: “You’re worse Avon watched his movements, frowning: than I thought, if that’s possible. You don’t then his eyes lifted to Blake’s, darkly agleam, think I’m going to give you what you want, do and he seemed abruptly amused. “Do you you? I wouldn’t touch you if you begged me, think so?” which, don’t tell me, is going to be your next “Of course. You get no pleasure so you’ll move.” settle for pain. Preferably someone else’s. “No thanks, Avon,” Blake whispered. “I’d Isn’t that right, Avon?” probably enjoy the gun more.” If not, prove it. The tension between them took on life. His cock stretched blindly and longed for Stirring into sentience, a black, stinking dark the touch, even accidental, of Avon’s fingers. thing pulsing with every heartbeat, an erotic He could imagine, what it would be like, how intensity sweeping over the skin like static, a the skin touching his would feel, how Avon’s deep deep yearning inside ready to flower. hand would move… He balled his own into Eyes shut, Blake felt the room beat in some fists and dug his nails into his palms. great sensual rhythm around the two men at Avon knelt beside him, and Blake opened its centre, linked beyond reason in some his eyes to see him there, a dark excited glitter unspoken metre of shared sexuality, Avon to his eyes, a stain of rare colour along his the ringmaster cracking the whip which drove pale cheekbone. Avon spread his hands. them on. And just when Blake most yearned “No gun. You see? Just the two of us.” for Avon to touch him the only caress on offer He spoke it like a statement, a little triumph. was the roughness of wool against the Blake cleared his throat and said, very low, frenulum of his cock; and at that, it was “You brought this on, Avon. You think I’m nearly enough to bring off the flashflood of going to hate myself after this, don’t you?

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE I ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

That’ll make it all worthwhile for you, you failure for company throughout the long, don’t care what you do, what depths you sink sour night to come. to, just so long as it scores a few points off “Aren’t you?” he said, in the low, icecold me.” He gave Avon a rogue’s grin, knowing voice which controlled Avon so well at his and complicit. “But you’re wasting your time, most skittish, his most contradictory: “Then because this isn’t going to cause me one goodnight, Avon, I’ll leave you to fantasise. second’s grief, I’ve had more worries over What might have happened next?” whether to swat a fly than I’ll have about this And all he had to do was leave. when this is over.” Get to the sanctuary of his own room, and “I made you do it, is that what you mean?” jerk off—there— Avon hissed, eyes bright. “But I’m not making Avon’s eyes burned brightly, compellingly, you do anything, Blake; not any more.” At into his that moment his eyes ran down Blake’s —Instead of here, where Avon wanted him chest, an insolent catalogue, down to his to. cock, his dark, velvet gaze lingering there like He could not get up without pushing Avon a caress. aside. Blake thrust a hand at his chest and Lust crept warmly and blissfully over Blake Avon caught it. as Avon looked at him: a vision opened in his “Before you go—” mind and for a moment, staring transfixed “What?” Blake said, and the sound was into Avon’s eyes, he saw him as he had never thin, as if he spoke into a sudden vacuum as seen him before. he stared deeply, fatally into Avon’s eyes, and Avon was not so bad, not really; not quite lost himself. the example of insurrection Blake made of Avon took his other wrist, pinning them him when it suited him. There were mo- both above his head, leisurely. “This,” he ments— said, and leaned down to kiss his mouth, his 38 Moments when he was glad of Avon by his clothes rough against Blake’s bare skin, his ▼▼▼ side: he was pleasant to look at; he had an icy breath warm and sweet. His fingers brushed composure Blake admired when his own exquisitely across Blake’s nipple, and rested failed him; and a courage which was not in there. doubt. There were moments when Avon’s Dazzled by sensation Blake felt love invade eyes met his and they shared a joke the others him treacherously, a spear of pain and joy did not see: and many times he was glad, twisting deeply inside; he held onto Avon quite simply, to have Avon around. All right, desperately, his hands gripping folds of his so they fought; but he liked Avon, goddammit; clothing, and suckled from his mouth like a welcomed their confrontations: because, af- bee from a flower, eager for the moist ter all, Avon was an exciting stranger, a bright roughness of his tongue, the scrape of his spark for his tinder with a verve and a passion teeth, the softness of his lips. After a while, all his own… Avon drew away a little, to murmur to him; he His hands lifted of their own volition and encouraged Blake sweetly, gently, with a went out to Avon and he waited, tense, barely tenderness easily seen for travesty, belied as breathing— it was by the passionate savagery of his eyes. Then Avon smiled frighteningly at him, the And yet Blake could do nothing: nothing vampire at the window sighting maidens save what Avon demanded soundlessly that within—Got you—and the pretty mood van- he do: every sense clamoured for it insistently ished like a dream. But his lust remained, a and it was already too late—he could feel burning iron bar in his loins: he stared at himself melting, spilling over, just one moment Avon with hatred, angry that his body should more and one more touch— obey Avon’s will rather than his own, angry “That’s right, Blake,” Avon soothed. “There. that he had nearly been misled: but he could There… still break Avon’s game at a stroke and leave And it happened: Avon watched the entire Avon with nothing but the difficult taste of thing, careful to miss no detail, and the last

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE I ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ thing Blake saw before closing his eyes under let yourself be seduced by passions unsus- helpless glory was the bitter, triumphant pected then the shadow took hold and blaze of Avon’s. darkened the world for you, forevermore. And when he opened them again Avon was For he knew that Avon was not going to let on the other side of the room a million light- this go. years away from him, looking at him dis- Some black, blighted star, watching their passionately. Reality sharpened and the fates entwine, had conjoined this thread of dream slipped away; the beautiful sensations their lives in a cat’s cradle of twists and turns; still gripping him echoed faintly and were each strand a perversity, a dark line of sick gone. Love turned to hate, lust to ashes in his passions and unhealthy feasts of emotion, all mouth and the sick taste of disgust, at himself entangling in a Gordian knot they would mostly. never get free from now. So Avon had won, after all. Because that Blake did not think these things con- was exactly what he had wanted. sciously; he simply looked at Avon, standing For once in his life Blake was without silently there, and knew with a leaden sense words. of doom that henceforth Avon, in a personal Avon dragged his eyes away from Blake sense and for Blake alone, was going to be big and walked off crisply into the bathroom, trouble. returning with a towel which he threw, hard, Fastening his belt he looked up from under at the other man. his lashes at Avon, his hands weaving the “Now get out of my sight.” leather deftly through the buckle. His chin The warm scent of his own naked body, the tilted, then jutted defiantly. saltmarsh smell of his sex and the tang of “Well?” he said, sweet but strong. “How sweat curled around Blake, embarrassing was it for you?” him. He used the towel in silence and threw Avon smiled; sharp, provocative to the it into a corner. Avon, regarding him in a end. “Really quite good. Perhaps it could have 39 ▼▼▼ speaking silence all the while, removed the been better.” towel and dropped it into a laundry chute. Blake’s eyebrows rose. His eyes dwelt on Blake began to get dressed. Despite Avon’s Avon’s bruised and swollen mouth, marked hard, unwavering gaze, he didn’t hurry. The by Blake’s kisses as he said: ruined shirt he left where it was without “Until the next time, then?” touching it. Little lines of amusement creased around He felt weary, and sick with himself. How Avon’s eyes; his lips quirked in sarcastic easily life led you, and promised you some- response to Blake’s impudence. thing fiercely sweet! Temptations arose from “Perhaps.” the darkest, most unexpected quarter so No, Blake thought on his way out, not that, dazzled by the light, you did not see the perhaps at all: definitely. ominous shadow looming behind: and if you Only next time, things would be different.

Sebastian, 7/90

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE II ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE II SEBASTIAN

▼ N O SPECIAL FLAIR FOR NECROMANCY “What a pity I arrived first,” Avon observed. was necessary to read Avon’s thoughts: as “Handcuffs would suit your heroic style so the huge door swung shut on him with a much more than mine.” depressing clang Blake staggered as he was Blake grinned, a dangerous gleam in his shoved bodily through, put out a hand to eye. “I beg to disagree.” For Avon made a steady himself, muttered an imprecation, pretty sight: darkly, sultrily angry, and chained and angrily met Avon’s eye. to the wall with his wrists linked together. “Marvellous,” Avon said bitterly from where Picturesque indeed: and yet Blake noted too, he hung on the wall. “Are you the cavalry?” the dry lips, the overbright sparkle to his Blake turned on his heel, bit a thumb and eyes. said with sweet venom: “Pity I can’t offer you a drink,” he com- “All right, Avon; but then you’d hardly mented, inserting a blunt finger between expect me to have the wit to avoid the same Avon’s wrist and the steel bands surrounding trap you fell into, now would you?” it. “But I’ll owe you one: stand you a pint next “No indeed,” Avon snapped, his eyes a time we pass old Joe’s Bar.” He drew in a bright, feverish glitter beneath wavering sharp breath at the raw skin he found chafing lashes. “And now here we both are: at least there. Avon, passive, did not move, gazed over 40 solitude was peaceful.” his head to the wall beyond. A rivulet of bright ▼▼▼ Wheeling around to face him, Blake stopped blood, freed by Blake’s action, rolled down short and took Avon in properly for the first Avon’s wrist and disappeared inside his sleeve. time since being heaved into the room. Something of Blake’s initial cheerfulness “Peaceful it may have been, comfortable I evaporated. don’t believe,” he commented, and came over “I can’t think why they’ve reacted to our to him. With sturdy fingers he worked on the presence like this,” he muttered, frowning. bonds which strung Avon to the wall. From a pocket he extracted a large, cleanish “Don’t bother,” Avon said distantly, head handkerchief which he tore into strips beneath turning to one side. “Laser-bonded steel, Avon’s desultory eye and did a bit of mopping. which is what that is, requires cutting with a “They simply wouldn’t listen to reason at all.” laser saw. Unless you happen to have one “Perhaps their view of reason is not the concealed about you?” same as yours.” Blake grinned raffishly, shaking his stinging “Reason is reason,” Blake said obdurately. fingers. “Actually, it’s my week for the ultra- “There’s nothing subjective about it.” sonic file.” He produced one like magic and “If you say so.” Avon permitted himself a pirouetted it in his fingers for Avon’s inspec- small, cynical smile, unseen over Blake’s tion, but it had no effect on the limber steel. head as the man tied neatish bandages around After a while he paused in his efforts, sweating. his wrists. Blake’s tunnel vision had its mo- “I told you,” Avon said. ments of unintentional humour. No doubt if “And if only I listened to you, Avon!” Despite Blake believed the earth was flat he’d argue the twin set-backs of incarceration and the the cause with utter conviction, regardless of breakdown of his negotiations with some very the view from the moon. Glorying silently in mistrustful aliens, finding Avon, whom he the new comfort around raw, sore flesh, he had secretly feared dead or worse, had done stretched a little. He didn’t bother to thank a lot for Blake’s spirits. Blake, who wouldn’t expect it. Blake had left

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE II ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ him and was pacing. interpretation and a great deal of abuse.” “Avon, you can’t deny that it’s unreason- Yes, certainly that. And who had abused able to lock us up when we’re here on a whom? mission of mercy.” How very much more simple, if that was all “Perhaps it’s not the first time they’ve been that were necessary: to decide on the victim, given the same impression—by less sincere the abuser, and mete out accordingly balm Samaritans.” and penance. But the really shocking thing, “I’m sure you’re right,” Blake said bitterly. Blake mused, was the inescapable and un- He took a few more turns around the room, a pleasant fact that they had both jumped into large and vital man dressed in a flowing white the breach with such eagerness, seized upon shirt, dark trousers delving into wrinkled the chance to experiment on one another leather boots. Blake had not said it, but Avon with thrilling little sexual games, passed the knew he was perplexed, that the Mallians sword of mastery back and forth in perfect had not recognised the sincerity shining from complicity. his sober brown eyes, the passionate warmth What Avon thought about it Blake didn’t of his need to help, the staunchly honest line know, though he was sure Avon had been as to his character. disturbed by it as Blake too was disturbed: Blake returned from a fruitless search for there were times when he caught Avon an exit and sank down the wall, coming to sit watching him, saw bleak, unforgiving memory beside Avon’s feet. He did not say anything. A stamped across his face. Yet Avon would say light unease struck into the quality of silence. nothing. Not a man given to patency, he Impatient with it, Blake shook his head like a remained tensely, darkly unimpeachable. dog, running the fingers of both hands through “I won’t discuss it, Blake,” was all he said his curls to dislodge knots, and said without now. moving his gaze from the sealed door, Blake was taking off again around the “Avon. We’ve got to talk.” room, too much energy for such an enclosed 41 ▼▼▼ “Have we?” Avon said coldly. space. Avon shut his eyes. He shifted his Blake half-turned and glanced up at him. position and groaned soundlessly to himself. “Of course we have.” His arms were tired, and very soon he was “Perhaps you must,” Avon said in a voice going to have cramp in his left leg. Wonderful. which froze the blood. “But I don’t share the “What you did to me was terrible,” Blake urge.” said in a low voice. “I blame myself as much as you,” Blake Avon opened his eyes, incredulous. “What offered, with a quite sickening nobility. Avon I did to you. What about what you do to me— shuddered delicately. every single day? Why am I here? Why am I “You have a yen for martyrdom, don’t you ever anywhere in some illconceived fiasco? Blake? All right then: it was your fault. Now Why do I nearly get myself killed for your shut up.” damned Cause so often when I don’t give it a “I should never have agreed to go along chance in hell? What I did to you, Blake, was with it,” Blake muttered, running a hand nothing, nothing, in the face of the profound through his hair with that fine lack of care for sublimation I impose on myself every single order which drove Avon silently mad. He day, just to do for you what you want.” looked down at the parting of Blake’s thick, Blake planted himself in front of Avon and strong hair where Blake’s fingers trawled the glared, hands on hips. “But I get the ines- restless chestnut strands, and fought down capable feeling, Avon, that you wouldn’t be irritation. too happy yourself about looking back through “The theory of reciprocation is quite sound,” my eyes.” he said sharply, “as you would know if you’d “Of course,” Avon snapped. “That was the studied any foundation psychology.” whole point.” Blake jumped in instantly. “It might be, “You wanted to make me look a fool, at all Avon: but the fact is, it’s a theory open to wide cost. You didn’t care how far you went to get

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE II ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

that—” “Oh yes,” Avon said, his voice low and “No!” Avon broke in, white and set with terribly intense. “It’s the only way.” anger. “That isn’t true. You know as well as I Blake gazed disbelievingly into his eyes. do—” “And nothing’s changed—? In that case, how “What?” Blake prompted. do I know you won’t do the same thing again “—what happened.” the next time I stir you the wrong way on a Blake was pleased that Avon looked away, matter of policy? It happens so often, Avon, stared out with hauteur, over his head. He you’re hardly the agreeable type. Am I sup- was still white around the mouth, his lips posed to keep count of the guns in the tight: Blake stared full into his face as he weaponry deck?” continued: Something far off, unreachable, seemed to “Oh yes, I know what happened, all right. ignite in the depths of Avon’s eyes. “Again?” You decided a little dash of sexual humilia- he hissed, his eyes roving over Blake with tion would be a nice touch. It isn’t the first contempt. “You flatter yourself… Believe me, time I’ve seen it done. And then you had one I would never have started it at all if I had only hell of a surprise when it all blew up in your known—” face. That’s what happened, Avon.” “Known what?” Blake demanded, facing Avon’s eyes flashed pure venom; he opened him out aggressively, his body thrusting up his mouth to snap out a reply. “Blake—” and against Avon’s. “What, Avon?” then his eyes dwelt on the other man’s and he That their touching would spark off dan- spoke his name again, in a very different tone gerous things: exciting things, wonderful and of voice. “Blake,” and it sent a shiver down terrible: a love unholy, a fury focussed by Blake’s spine. “It doesn’t matter now. Leave it desire. alone. What’s the point of going over it and Avon turned his head wearily to one side, over it?” evading the question; then he looked back at 42 Blake was immediately off-balanced by the Blake, his eyes still and calm, the surface of ▼▼▼ unexpected softness of Avon’s voice, the drift a sunless sea. “I had no desire for you, Blake. of his eyes over Blake’s face. It unsettled him; If that’s what you mean.” he balled his hands into fists and turned Two men starved too long of touch reacting away. He had wanted something resolved: like a fireflash to the skilful catalyst of each the flightdeck tension between them had other: they had not expected it, that much focussed down to such an extent that was true. Blake walked away, across the sometimes he knew the others were uncom- room to think. He had no doubt at all that fortable to be near them. That was no way to Avon was telling the truth: Avon hadn’t wanted run a company. He faced the other way, things to take the turn they had any more stared without seeing at the dark walls. “And than he had: and when they did— did you get what you wanted, Avon?” He They had both tried to turn the escalation turned around then, to stare hotly into Avon’s of events to their own advantage; Blake did eyes. “Did it make you happy?” not blame Avon for that. Under Blake’s scrutiny, the demands of He said, “One question, Avon: and I want his eyes, Avon blazed back defiance at him. you to answer it with the truth.” He came “Of course not,” he hurled at Blake, all of his back to Avon and leaned his weight on one bonds tightening as he tested them uncon- hand pressed to the wall, searching his face sciously. “Do you really need to ask?” and intently. “Will you do that?” then he answered himself more quietly, “I suppose so,” Avon said wearily. “If it will sinking back against the wall: “Of course you silence you on the subject forever.” don’t. Drop the subject, Blake. Forget it.” Blake’s eyes opened sharply, then nar- Blake found this absurd. “How can I forget rowed; his nostrils flared a little as he con- it? Am I really supposed to dust my hands off centrated unnervingly on Avon’s response. and say right, that’s it, let’s put all that behind He said sharply: “That night. What did you do us?” when I left the room?”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE II ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Avon’s mouth tightened and his eyes wid- Blake’s lip curled, though he was shaking. ened even as his pupils shrank to nothing; he “But you always resist temptation: is that met Blake’s gaze intently as his lashes flickered right, Avon?” unsteadily. At last, nastily, he said: “I might “A little more often than you do, it seems,” have expected it… What are you trying to do, Avon hissed at him, eyes violent. “And now, Blake, excite yourself again? There must be oh most noble leader, having given you the easier ways.” answer you wanted, I have a question for you: Blake moved suddenly, and for a moment just how hard would you have fought me, Avon braced himself, certain that Blake was Blake, if I’d done what you wanted me to?” going to strike him; but Blake only said, “I’m A flash of memory unfurled before his eyes; just trying to get through to you, Avon, and Avon, poised over his naked body with menace, it’s damned hard work. So tell me. What did a moment of tearing suspense— you do?” A devilish grin lit Blake’s blunt features as He had left Avon alone and gone back to his he stared at Avon provokingly. “Oh, all the cabin; but sleep had been slow to come as the way, Avon. All the way to the end…” images played themselves out again and A sigh escaped Avon; restlessly fettered he again, and he had wondered, then, if Avon, turned his head to one side again and shuffled too, found sleep hard to come by, on that his arms and changed the angle of his legs. night of all nights. Blake catalogued the room again; he could “It’s important to me, Avon: just tell me,” he see no chance for escape save the timely said into the strained silence, and he turned arrival of Cally bearing two spare bracelets. away again, stared out over the room, and Avon’s mind was obviously with his; from then swung back. “You know what I’m ask- behind Blake he said, with an intensity on the ing, don’t you?” edge of despair, “Where the hell has the “Of course I know,” Avon’s voice lashed at Liberator got to? I want this over, Blake. I him from behind. “How naïve do you think I want to get away from you.” 43 ▼▼▼ am?” “The last I saw of the Liberator,” Blake said, “I don’t know,” Blake answered him, his not caring, “Jenna was pressing very hard not voice hollow, ringing like a bell in a vacuum. to come back for you just yet.” “I don’t know anything about you.” Sauce for the goose, and all that, Jenna “Well now: but you do know the answer to had said, or rather stormed. Do you think your own question.” Avon would have gone back for you? Blake’s heart missed a beat; he could not Yes, he did. move. All of his muscles trembled as he Futile to point out to Jenna that there were stared at Avon until the image of the man depths to Avon unsounded by her, by anyone wavered before his eyes: seeing an Avon at all; nor of his intuition that Avon would not crucified on the pinnacle of Blake’s will, abandon him. Not ever. wrists bound, dark hair soft, and oh those A smile nastily twisted Avon’s lips. “Yes, eyes, burning like coals in the bleakness of well, no doubt her priorities will have un- his face. dergone a miraculous reversal now that you He went over to him. He couldn’t help are here.” himself. Blake closed his eyes in pure irritation; but “And yet you let me go?” the image of Avon remained, flashing defiance “What did you want me to do,” Avon snarled before him, utterly resistant to Blake’s pur- at him: “make haste to follow your shining pose. Sometimes the urge to smack him example?” annihilated reason like white lightning, Blake said with scorn: “At least it would charging every nervecell in his body with the have been honest.” need to thrash the rebel out of him and throw Avon’s chin whipped around, making Blake Avon down at his feet at last, vanquished. jump with shock. Or— “Don’t think I wasn’t tempted.” A shudder ran through him as the other

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE II ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

urge rose: to throw himself on Avon and kiss all, these days.” Deftly he found the opening him until they were both breathless and of Avon’s trousers and undid them; Avon desperate and unable to speak. twisted and strained against his bonds but it This one he gave way to, crossing the room was a futile effort. Sweat began to bead and in two paces and leaning in close as he took cluster along his brow. his mouth possessively. Avon smelt of warmth “I’ve always wanted to do this, Avon,” Blake and of fear; he tasted exactly as Blake obses- said, “and you’re the only person in this world sively remembered and a rush of intoxication I’d admit that to.” hit him. When he released him Avon’s eyes “For both our sakes, Blake. Don’t—” were blazing, his lips moist; unable to wipe The trousers slid down, revealing long- them or to move he spat at Blake: muscled thighs, lean and strong. This was “You must be mad. Didn’t last time teach the worst moment. He did not want to lift his you anything?” eyes to Avon’s face; and above him Avon’s “Oh yes,” Blake said, hard, his eyes in- voice almost sobbed, from somewhere in the flexible. “And you?” universe. “Nothing useful,” Avon snarled, like a “I’ll kill you, Blake. Make no mistake; I”ll trapped mink, exotic and violent. Such a kill you for this.” paradox: the conflict excited Blake desper- The room seemed to slant and darken; ately, he wanted Avon to fight; and yet he Blake’s hands clenched tight on tender flesh. wanted him to be a willing conspirator. He But he recovered himself in no time: for he ran a gentle finger down the severe curve of had to taste this side of the coin. Avon was Avon’s face, brushed back his hair with both impossible with guilt: and Blake could not hands, smoothing it over and over as he bear to lose. Things would be better after stared into his eyes with serious attention. this… “Don’t, Blake,” Avon said hoarsely. But Despite himself a long shudder went 44 Blake kissed him again anyway, his mouth through Avon as Blake pressed his hand over ▼▼▼ covering Avon’s deeply and thoroughly. As he the warm sculpture of his body covered only leaned more closely against the other man he by thin cotton, rubbing a finger across the felt the beat of Avon’s heart against his chest head of his cock, back and forth. and the hot hard thrust of Avon’s cock against With a sigh he pressed his cheek to Avon, his thigh, a glorious thrill as he pressed turned his face slowly across the soft, swelled against him and it gave him all the certainty fabric. He undressed him with fingers that he needed. He kissed the corner of Avon’s shook, and caressed him; the first cock he mouth, kissed it gently, teasing it with the had ever touched save his own. The similarity point of his tongue. delighted him: the same fragility of the skin “Why are you doing this?” Avon whispered, over proud rigidity, the soft smoothness of it, and Blake felt his insides twist at the look in inviting delicate stroking, the rosepink head Avon’s eyes. and tracery of blue veins beneath. It took on “Because you want me to.” he answered a life of its own as his gently moving fingers him. pleased it, drawing itself up with proud ten- “No I don’t,” Avon said, in that still, quiet sion; well, you’ll like what’s coming, he voice and Blake smiled at him strangely. promised it, you’ll like this. He had told Avon “I think you feel as guilty as hell about what the truth: this had always been a fantasy of you did to me. I’m going to make you feel— his, very nearly the worst, the most secret, the better—” darkest dream you would admit to no-one: He fell to his knees in front of Avon and but he did not know, had never known, looked up, to see Avon’s innocence dissolve, whether he would be able to go through with foreknowledge haunting his eyes and his it. voice was terrible to hear as he said, “No.” He supposed it was the taste he was “Don’t turn me down,” Blake said. “I don’t dreading, and yet at the same time it was the suppose it’s an offer you get very often; or at thought of that which made him tremble with

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▼▼▼▼ C AT’S CRADLE II ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ excitement; he wetted his lips with his tongue have to suck, Blake…” and glanced up at Avon’s face, to find it Blake slipped his hands around to cup shuttered, withdrawn, saying clearly ‘I have Avon’s buttocks, squeezing hard, harder… no part in this’. Save that he could not help His lips parted again, and taking a deep himself, his cock pressed itself touchingly breath he swallowed Avon down as far as against Blake’s fingers, shyly seeking out his possible. For a moment he hated it: this was caresses. the real thing and he couldn’t breathe and the Encouraged by the scent of soap and thing in his mouth was choking him; disgust warmth Blake leaned forward, ran his tongue curled thinly through his belly only to melt along satin skin: his stomach churned with away when he heard Avon sigh, then make a shock and nerves, and he looked up to meet small noise like a whimper, lost, entirely in Avon’s eyes which were sick, and shadowed. Blake’s hands. It was all too much. He felt But as his tongue made soft passes around Avon tremble, trembling on and on beneath the proud little rim of flesh he felt Avon his touch; removing his mouth, gulping in shudder in his hands; and he could not stop air, Blake pressed his hot face hard against now. Avon’s quivering thighs, engulfing himself, Lured into bolder caresses he dipped his pinching Avon’s skin between his nails. tongue into the slit at the tip, finding a new “Would you do this for me?” he whispered taste there which suddenly flooded his belly fiercely, desperately. with excitement. He shifted his hold on Avon Avon was silent, save for his quick, panicky and worked his tongue around the rim and breathing; it rushed and jerked in counter- under it, feeling Avon quiver, and gasp, too point to Blake’s own. Looking up at his face sensitive to bear it; with regret he glided his Blake saw that Avon’s eyes were closed, his mouth down the living marble of the shaft to expression tense with some inner concen- kiss lower. Love warmed his belly and swelled tration; as he watched Avon’s lashes lifted, his heart: he was jolted out of his dreamlike revealing the dark, expressive depths of his 45 ▼▼▼ state when Avon sighed again, and spoke in eyes, and Blake knew that if his hands had a harsh whisper: “Pleasant though it is, if you been free, Avon would have reached down do it that way it’ll take forever.” helplessly to touch his face. It moved him Stung by this, over-sensitive, Blake re- unbearably; but it hurt him unbearably too, torted, “Not good enough for you? I’ll try and because now he knew what he had done. do better.” He would give anything to have it undone. He looked up into Avon’s face, saw irrita- But it was already too late; even as the ache tion there, and scorn in the set of his mouth; in his heart and the sinking in his guts and yet, also, the dazed dark softness of his eyes: the punishing regret flayed at him, Avon was the bewildered inner delight. Deny it as he speaking to him, his voice quiet and beauti- would, Avon was in a little private heaven; ful, asking him— pride lit through Blake’s emotions and with it Needing him to carry on. that old, treacherous, headlong rush of love. Blake’s skin prickled all over exquisitely, In love with Avon! For the peculiar turbulence his spine tingling, sick with sudden lust; he of emotion he experienced in Avon’s presence, mouthed Avon’s slick cock again, then lap- the intensity of feeling, there could be no ping at it, overwhelmed with the hungry other explanation. desire of his dreams. With a choke he swal- Yet it did not make things easier: more lowed Avon again, lashed him with his tongue, frightening than fantasy, Avon’s body in his sucked and sucked until Avon’s hips lifted hands was alive and vivid and real. A sudden and thrust his cock into his mouth, and went panic seized him up with fear; and then still. Something silken shot down Blake’s Avon’s voice was there to help him, set like throat and he drank it convulsively, again stars in the blackest of nights, a whisper to and again. Avon slumped with a sigh and it lead him there gently: was over. “Haven’t you ever heard the slang? You

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAT’S CRADLE II ▼▼▼▼▼ SEBASTIAN ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

AFTERWARDS IT WAS DREADFUL. “Well now, there’s no need to be shy. I’ve He did Avon’s clothing up with rigorous seen it before, or had you forgotten.” control and took off for the other side of the At this moment, he needed more than cell. There he leaned his head on the wall and anything to touch Avon, and it was a need clenched one hand over the knotted cramps which would not be denied; he crossed the in his belly, at the same time sinking his teeth room on leaden feet, closed the distance hard into the knuckle of the other hand. between them until he was looking into the Avon didn’t long leave him in suspense. demented mockery shining fiercely in Avon’s Restored to elegance his voice curled out eyes, a defiance which blazed and blazed and across the void between them with a deadly went on blazing until the image shattered like malice. glass, and Blake swore— “Well now, what can I say? Do you want “Christ, Avon—” He put his arms round marks out of ten, Blake? I suppose it did him, awkwardly, then carefully: pressed occur to you that Jenna might have appeared trembling lips to each eye in turn, kissing at any moment during your solo aria? But away wet salt. Not misery; humiliation. Pride then,” Avon mused aloud, black ice sheering disembowelled by the cruellest of victories. dangerously, “when you sink as low as this, He was in tears himself. I suppose such things only add a thrill or two “Yes, you see it now, don’t you,” Avon to the proceedings.” whispered, staring, courageous to the last, He said in a low voice, barely able to speak, into his eyes. “How you use us all in the way “Stop it, Avon. Don’t make things worse than which hurts us most…” they are.” “I didn’t mean,” Blake started, but could Strange, that in a way his rebellious nature not finish it. blamed Avon as much as himself, for re- All there was to do was pick up the pieces. sponding to him as he had wanted: unfair, “Where the hell is the Liberator?” 46 unfair, unfair. A terrible silence. Before Avon joined in. ▼▼▼ “—Worse?” Avon continued, nasty with “Most likely half way to Alpha Centauri, if sarcasm. “Well, how could it be worse?” Vila’s navigating.” How indeed. Blake tasted blood and stared It was not yet Avon’s voice; but it soon at his hand without surprise. would be. “I suppose you mean you’re going to repeat “Let’s look on the bright side, Avon, he’s your performance of the other day. I’m afraid,” probably too drunk to find Alpha Centauri.” Avon smiled unpleasantly, “that, constrained They were both, before anything else, as I am, I can’t offer to help. But I’ve nothing survivors. better to do than watch, so why not? Carry And so it so would go on. on. Entertain me.” And the darkness did not lift. “Enough, Avon.” Sebastian 10/90

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼V ENERY ▼ Into the thick of it. Into the middle of things. ▼ Into the full fledged indulgence of sexual de- ▼ ▼ sire and gratification. The second of the Venery ▼ ▼ tales. ▼ ▼ Into the middle of venery. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ IN MEDIAS RES ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

I T HAD BEEN WORTH WAITING FOR. passion, needed to be needed, but most of all, 47 ▼ ▼▼▼ Avon, standing before him, eyes like embers, needed to be coerced and cajoled until he slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, undressing. conceded the point. Not that he had cried pax For him. Such delight, such joy, in watching easily—what was there about Avon that could Avon carefully, with such carefilled caution, be called easy, apart from his wit? And if one unpeel the layers of his shell, garment by were to look, to peer behind the theatre mask, garment, leather tunic and linen shirt, until one would see that Avon’s wit was perhaps the stark black yielded to the harmony of the hardest of all. The original double-edged tones that made his skin so alive, sword could not have cut more deeply, espe- so…touchable. Helpless to resist, he reached cially to the man who wielded it. out, only the very tips of his fingers brushing Blake knew all about that, had watched as the nuance of hair on Avon’s chest, ruffling blood seeped from Avon as he cut the nose off the darkness, smiling in the light as he saw to spite his face. So typical, Blake thought, all Avon’s sudden intake of breath. Not un- warm and benevolent with love, Avon’s always moved, no. So a heart did beat beneath that doing that to himself. Saying the nastiest igneous exterior: he had begun to think Avon things to drive people away, then wishing to nothing more than fire and bluster and a heaven he hadn’t. Then again, this is Avon— rock-hard core that would never soften to he’d be the first to tell me that there was no him. But his first impression was right: Avon heaven to wish to. But that’s where he’s needed love, and as is so often true of the wrong. Heaven is here and now, with some- desperate, he was too afraid to grab it when one to love you and someone to love. He’ll proffered him. Smiling still, Blake let his learn. I know he shall. fingertips wreak havoc on Avon’s left nipple, “Take off your trousers for me. There’s no playing with it until it peaked, the flesh need to be shy, Avon, we’re all boys together.” clustered round it rimpling. Oh, yes, Avon “I rather more saw myself as a man. But needed this. Needed the love, needed the then, perhaps you prefer to think of us as

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

boys?” way his cock was hardening and by the way Blake stared at him with enough tolerance his arms were coming up to encircle Blake, that it bore the weight of rectitude. “Wasn’t drawing them closer together, chest to chest, that a bit unnecessarily vicious, even for a face to face, until there was nowhere to look man trying so desperately to prove that he but into each other’s eyes. “Why are you doesn’t need this at all?” doing this to me, Blake?” A hard question, so “Oh, but I never said that. In fact, I admit softly asked. that I do need this—it’s just that you and I “Because you need it. Because I need it. disagree on what ‘this’ is.” Because you need to learn to love, my friend.” Blake caressed Avon’s face, cupping his Avon stared at him, and Blake gazed back, chin with one hand, catching the beat of his all warmth and twinkle, all confidence and heart with the other. “This,” he said, a mere certainty. “Or is is that you need to teach me breath away, “is love.” to love? And I’ll tell you this right now, my “This,” Avon said, cupping Blake’s groin, ‘friend’. Love is the last thing I need to learn.” “is lust. Let’s not confuse the two, shall we?” He took a step back, breaking the simmering “You can call it afternoon tea if you wish, touch of their bodies, turning away from the it won’t change the truth.” magic of Blake’s eyes. “Love is something I “A rose by any other name? But I disagree mastered a long time ago.” with that, Blake. Is the truth you spout the “Is it, Avon?” Blake reached out again, same as the ‘truth’ Servalan broadcasts? The knowing what Avon needed, loath to leave name’s the same, but you would surely claim Avon trapped in a world of lovelessness and that the meaning was completely opposite.” distrust. If only Avon would lean on him, if “Don’t stoop to sophistry, Avon. Confess only Avon would allow himself to trust, then that you’re afraid to love and be done with it.” what a vista would be opened before him. “Oh, I’d like to be done with love. And I am. Blake stroked the knotted muscles that lay 48 So don’t you stoop to self-deception in here. shadowed, little pools of tension, on the long ▼▼▼ After all, you do so much of it outside.” leanness of Avon’s back. He remembered “Do I? Is that what you honestly believe?” love, Blake did, although it was dimmer than Eyes narrowed in justifiable mistrust, Avon it ought, and vaguer than he hoped. But he watched him, aware peripherally of able hands remembered the sweet pleasure, the singing undoing fasteners. “Of course I do.” happiness, the belonging that went hand in “Then why,” and those able hands were hand with love like the lovers it created. exposing him, touching him, setting him Remembered to,o less dimly, the fury of the alight, “do you follow me?” arguments that would lead to the searing “I don’t follow you, and well you know it.” heat of the recompense that always followed “Don’t you and do I? You do a fine imper- so quickly behind. There were no faces to go sonation of a follower. And well you know it. with these memories, but an occasional sound But perhaps the reason you…allow yourself would haunt him, or the colour of an eye, or to be led is because of what goes on here,” and the way the light gleamed on hair. His breath the foreskin of his cock was slipped back with would stop then, just for a second, whilst the perfect slowness, “and here,” and the warmth pain thundered through him, jeering and of Blake’s mouth was kissing the skin that screaming in chorus with his outraged fury covered his heart. and atavistic rage. It was those moments, “Or perhaps,” Avon said, not at all pleased those rare moments, when it was a toss of the by the tremor in his voice, “it’s because I’ve yet coin whether he would want to kill, to destroy to find my bolt-hole.” the Federation down into the rubbish it was— “What? No concession to the fires of the or whether he would throw it all over and run flesh and the thunder of the heart?” away, to look for the love he no longer knew, “What have you been reading, Blake?” But apart from the bitter ache of its absence. But the supercilious defensiveness was spoiled he had Avon now, Avon of the dark eyes and by the way his breath was shivering, by the darker humour, of dark clothes that hid such

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ exquisite whiteness of skin. Contrast, that upwelling of pity for this lonely and unloved was Avon, endless contradictions that swirled man flowing through him, filling all the empty together in a maelstrom of fascination and spaces left by the departure of his own love. potential. Oh, he had Avon all right, but the All Avon needed was to be taught, to be shown man standing with his back to him didn’t that he was entitled to love and able to love. know it, not yet. There were cynics in this He’d be a different man then, set free in every world, he thought, who were that way because way—apart from one, and with the two of they basically hated people. But his Avon, in them standing truly united, the Federation him, it was something else entirely. Too little didn’t stand a chance. “You,” he said, kissing love, Blake saw, as if it were writ large and his way down Avon’s spine, lavishing atten- bold on Avon’s back, right down the centre of tion on every disc and hollow, “are a very his yellow streak. For he was a coward, in lovable man.” Blake’s eyes, for as long as he refused love, for “Oh, I couldn’t agree with you more. But as as long as he refused trust—and a beaten- for you being in love with me—or when you down victim, for as long as he refused his say ‘love’, is it nothing more than the largesse freedom. messiahs always reserve for the masses?” Blake kept his hands on Avon’s beautiful “I never thought you’d put yourself amongst skin, caressing it in sweet gyres, in elipses the common herd.” and cosine waves, the engineer adoring the “But I didn’t—it is you who are trying to put perfect creation. Muscles were alive under me there.” his fingers, skin warm, blood beating, all of it “Only if it were nothing more than common living, all of it life itself. He, who’d lost so much brotherhood, but it’s not, is it? You know it’s of his life, thrived on it, inhaling the smell of not, you know it’s more than that and that’s it, the sharpness of sweat, the bluntness of what terrifies you, isn’t it, Kerr?” soap, the elusiveness that was Avon himself. “And when the hell did I say that you could His lips found the alluring line of spine, and use my first name?” 49 ▼▼▼ his mouth opened, tasting Avon, tasting his Blake uncoiled to his full height, whirling living flesh, Blake’s eyes closing, his breath Avon round to face him, grabbing him tight. cold and damp on the heat of Avon’s back. “When you let me take your clothes off, Kerr. “Stop it,” Avon said, without moving an Be a bit absurd, surely, to undress a man and inch, without freeing himself from the fragile still address him by his last name, wouldn’t embrace. “Don’t do this to me.” it?” “Bit late to come the frightened virgin, “I undressed myself, Blake, just as I came don’t you think?” Blake murmured against to you on my own terms. Fucking, that’s all it skin, smiling as it shivered. “But I suppose, in is. Nothing more, nothing less, but plain, old- a way, you are. You may have had sex before, fashioned fucking. Preferably without the Avon, but I’m going to show you love. And it’s proselytising, else I shall take my pleasure better than rutting around in a sweaty heap, elsewhere.” He looked down at himself, to you’ll see.” where his cock jutted from his body, stretching “Are you trying to tell me you love me?” So out to the tented front of Blake’s trousers, much shock, so much disbelief. going back to look at the hunger in Blake’s Blake heard that, and more, knowing in eyes. “And I shall take yours with me, too.” his bones that it only displayed how bleak “Sorry,” Blake answered him, smiling at and miserable a life Avon had led that the him, eyes crinkling with good humour and thought of someone loving him was so terri- fingers tickling over sensitive skin, “but my bly astonishing. “Of course I do, Avon, of prick’s rather attached to me.” course I do.” “Which I suppose makes sense, of a sort. And Avon laughed. Outright, and loud. You are a bit of a prick after all, aren’t you? “Don’t be preposterous, Blake. What an in- But you’re obviously lacking in a certain credibly stupid thing to say.” ability to understand basic language, so I “And why’s that?” Blake questioned, an shall explain it to you. I shall leave, and find

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

someone else with whom to take my pleasure, so ashamed of yourself? Why do you hate and by doing so, I shall take your pleasure yourself so?” with me, because if all you have to have ‘fun’ “Why can’t you see what’s staring you in with is yourself, then you are going to be a the face? I’m neither ashamed of myself, nor very disappointed man.” do I hate myself. I simply don’t have any “And if you believed that for a second, you delusions of myself as either saint or saviour.” would never have come near me in the first Blake bent downwards to lick, with lin- place, would you? But that’s always supposing gering wickedness, Avon’s cock in its cozy that you’re here for the ‘plain, old-fashioned nest of hair. “Saint?” he whispered, smiling fucking’ and nothing else. As you arrived on up at Avon through his lashes, coyly disso- my doorstep anyway, even though you’re lute. “Oh, I think you can come up with a trying to tell me I’m an unattractive bore, then better word than that, don’t you agree?” you’ll forgive me for thinking that there must “I think,” Avon said steadfastly, making be more to this than just lust.” manful display of ignoring the flickering “I won’t forgive you anything.” touches of tongue on his cock, “that we are Blake heard the warning in those words, wasting a hell of a lot of time on something we no empty threat but serious, dire warning. could very well do on the flight deck, instead Play with me, and you’ll be playing with fire. of spending our time on—” Play with me and I’ll burn you to a crisp, Avon “—Good, old-fashioned fucking? Is that was telling him. Play with me and you shall be what you were going to say?” He blew, moistly, running a higher risk than anything Servalan tormentingly, on Avon’s cock. “That’s the could ever dream of. most you’re willing to concede, then—for the “Shan’t you?” he asked in his turn, mildly, time being?” although nothing else about him spoke of “Due to the fact that I would never be anything but passion. “Then I shall just have suicidal enough to fall in love with you, Blake, 50 to make sure I do nothing that would ever beg and am not so maudlin as to be swayed by ▼▼▼ your forgiveness.” amity for my fellow man, then that’s all you’re “Beg?” Avon looked down his nose at Blake, liable to get—ever.” at the posture of conquest, at the bullish Blake took firm hold of Avon’s even firmer pride that Blake himself did not even suspect, cock, playing with the foreskin, slipping his as those who think themselves reasonable so tongue under to be trapped, fat and tight and rarely do. “Why not—when I would so like to delectably, wetly hot, between skin and flesh. see you beg.” He circled Avon’s cock, listening enraptured “Don’t try that game, Avon, not here, not as Avon’s breath fled Avon’s control and with me. I’ve had more than my fill of domi- belonged to Blake, responding to every move nation and submission and at hands far of his tongue, to every caress of his lips, to better at it than you. You see, you, my dear every devouring swallow of his mouth. When friend,” and he was all soft warmth again, Avon was suitably aquiver, desperate enough with sharp heat quivering javelin-like at his to be repeating Blake’s name in endless groin, “have something they all lacked, and pæan, he drew back, Avon’s poor cock bob- that makes you an amateur at that kind of bing, unloved, in the chill disinterest of ship’s game. You, Avon, my dear Avon, have a soul. air. “Are you quite sure of that, Avon?” And a heart, and compassion and love and Avon, at this point, wasn’t entirely sure of trust and—” his own name. “Of what?” he asked, hips “An imbecile for a bedmate. What the hell arching forward, cock blindly seeking mouth, do you think I am, Blake?” This, whispered, body mindlessly seeking pleasure. a raging thirst for knowledge, for compre- “That it will never, ever go beyond fucking?” hension. “All appearances to the contrary, I A bucket of cold water, dousing him, really don’t like pedestals—they make me making him hard with anger, not lust. “Don’t dizzy, directly before I fall off them.” try to manipulate me, Blake. You shall push “Tell me something. Why is it that you are me too far if you do.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“And then what? You’ll leave, so that I shall seeing the light at some point in the future?” be no worse off than I am now? You’ve got me “Pardon me, I didn’t realise this was a absolutely terrified, Avon. In fact, I think I religious conversion—I thought it was sex.” shall have to lie down.” But before he did, he “That shows how wrong you can be, doesn’t stripped, uncovering the smoothness of his it?” He shifted slightly, letting go of Avon’s skin and the arch of his cock, the heavy hands, giving Avon his much-needed illusion fecundity of balls and the richness of flesh. of freedom. Blake was more sure than ever, “In that case, I suppose,” he went on, becoming now, with Avon so fraught above him, so all the more conversational, as if lying naked, terribly taut with desire and fear. It was so cock tapping the pit of his belly was worthy of obvious what was wrong, what it was that no more mark than what was for dinner, “I held Avon back from giving himself over to shall have to do without then. Not entirely, of love. “It’s because it’s more than just sex that course,” and with this, his hand settled round you’re too insecure and untrusting to admit his cock, teasing it, then gripping harder, the that the feelings are there. Why won’t you just other hand coming to roll his balls and tease try, Avon, to say it?” at his own rump, “I’m sure I can think of Avon knelt astride him, inner thighs something to do with myself. After all, I’m not brushed by Blake’s flanks, Avon’s arse nes- afraid of having a bit of pleasure with some- tling cosily over Blake’s cock. “You,” he finally one I care about, even if that is me.” said after several moments silence, of He watched Avon, who stood stock still at scrutinisation and assessment, “are the most the foot of the bed, watching Blake watching expensive whore I’ve ever met.” him, and all the while Blake’s hand was “Expensive whore? I haven’t asked you for moving on his cock, faster and faster. Blake a single credit!” relished the moment when Avon’s tongue “No, you’re asking for something far harder slipped out to moisten lips gone dry from lust to pay for than money. But if I want to leave and frustration, taking that image and here without doing permanent damage to my 51 ▼▼▼ threading it through his fantasy, licking his balls, then I shall pay my entry fee. All right, own lips, talking to himself as if Avon were Blake, you win this round. I concede that one there only in his imagination. He closed his day I might actually love you. I also concede eyes, all the better to enjoy his illusion—but that one day, the stars may travel backwards still knew to the millisecond when Avon in their orbit and I might grow a beard. moved, when his trousers creaked and rustled Satisfied?” the floor to land on the boots that had been “Not yet,” Blake replied, the palm of his discarded what felt like half a century before. hand pressing his cock into his belly, the The bed dipped, and Blake spread his legs a back of that same hand nestling hot and fraction wider, displaying himself more, in- rough under Avon’s balls. “And not just viting and enticing. A moment, and Avon’s sexually either, Avon, but…” He smiled hands were there, touching him, on his cock suddenly, with all the charm and seduction and it was perfect and then another moment, that was in him, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, and his thighs were locked tightly together, was it? I’ve got a lifetime of yours to erase, Avon’s hands trapped so sweetly there. haven’t I?” “I don’t choose to have sex with you if all “Delusions of grandeur are the first sign of you can offer me is the certainty that you’ll insanity in self-appointed heros of the people.” never be able to go beyond lust. Not ever, “I’m no hero, Avon and—” Avon,” he said, squirming a little so that his “I said self-appointed, Blake. Unlike the cock rubbed meaningfully against Avon’s rest of them, I have a brain and therefore hands, “if all you can say is never.” don’t need a hero.” A long pause, whilst Blake stared at Avon “What you need, my friend, is a lover. And again, then finally, words. “All right, all right. before you start repeating yourself, I’m not For the time being, it’s just lust.” just referring to a bedmate. You want someone “But you won’t rule out the possibility of to love and someone to love you.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“And now who’s repeating himself?” I heartily wish you knew yourself even half as Blake saw the resolve in those transform- well.” ing brown eyes weaken, saw when the batter- “Oh, Avon, I know parts of me that you ing ram of his endless words began first to don’t even know can exist in man.” dent the great doors that kept Avon shut in “Do I not indeed? Your ignorance stands and trapped. “Me. But that’s because what I proved.” have to say is worth repeating.” Lying there, with a naked and aroused “And what I have is not?” Avon poised over him, Blake felt the blow to Another smile, but this time it was not his his stomach—the horrible realisation that he own cock that Blake touched, but Avon’s; it was a breath away from losing Avon. And that was not his own equilibrium threatened by was not in the cards, not at all. He couldn’t desire, but Avon’s. Oh, his love was so close, lose Avon, simply couldn’t. If he couldn’t free not just to the sex, but to the realisation that Avon from the yoke the Federation had placed love was what mattered, that without it, life round his heart, then how the hell was he was only what the oppressors dictated it to going to free the rest of the Galaxy from the be. Without it, the ego was only who the ty- noose around their neck? “Avon, Avon,” he rant declared you to be. “I learned something whispered, instantly relegating the cerebral from the Federation, you know,” he said, to where it belonged, bringing the carnal back thumb causing havoc in the slit of Avon’s into their bed, “don’t fret so. There’ll be time cock. “They taught me that what I thought I enough for all that. If you want it as just sex, was didn’t really matter, because they could then fine, that’s what it’ll be. And very good take me away and wipe me clean and then sex too, you can trust me on that.” plant their own thoughts in me and the worst “And is there room for any more trust than of it, Avon,” and he didn’t know that his hand that?” stilled or that his eyes went as dead as “Oh, yes, there’s always room for trust.” He 52 pebbles on a bleak and abandoned winter’s lifted his head, his hands urging Avon forward, ▼▼▼ beach, “the very worst of it was that they until his mouth was filled with the hard could do it as often as they wanted to, and I’d delicacy of Avon’s cock, the scratch of pubic never be any the wiser. I don’t know how hair against his nose, the snub nuzzling of many times they did it to me, did you know balls against his chin. He could hear Avon, that?” But he wasn’t looking at Avon, couldn’t the stifled sounds that were being strangled look outside himself, when there was so before they could betray Avon to Blake, and much inside himself that might be fiction or that made him smile. Only a matter of time, fact, all tangled together in an insoluble such a short time, before Avon wouldn’t feel mess. “But what I learned from them is what that he had to remain silent, before Avon broke their control over me in the end. The wouldn’t feel that he had to hide. Only a ancient philosophers used to say that because matter of time… But for the present, the we think, we exist. No Federation in their day, future was all amorphous promise, whilst in I suppose. But for me… I thought whatever this moment, Avon was heavy on his chest, they told me to think and thought that I was pressing into his heart, and Avon was heavy being me, that I was being original. I didn’t in his mouth, pressing into his soul. He loved know… But then I found a way to break them, this, the intimacy and the closeness. He Avon.” He glowered upwards suddenly, hand wanted so much more, and he knew that if tightening again, other hand coming up to they had it on the physical plane, then the stroke over erect nipples and swathe over emotional would surely follow. With yearning stomach, “I realised that it wasn’t cogito ergo reluctance, he let Avon go, his head flopping sum, it was amo ergo sum. That means—” back on the pillow, neck muscles complain- “That I wish it were,” said the esoterically ing, mouth still salivating with pleasure. “I educated Alpha, “cognito, ergo sum.” want to fuck you,” he said. “What?” “And I don’t want to be fucked,” came the “Cognito—I know myself. And I do, Blake. immediate retort and Blake could hear the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ fear in that. Poor Avon, his poor Avon, to be him. There was, instead, the wetness of so scared of vulnerability, of needing. Of love. tongue, of lips, of fine teeth nipping delicately, No matter. They had time enough. with such exquisite care, all around his “Then you shall fuck me.” buttocks and there, oh yes, there, at the bud “Won’t that be a novel change.” of flesh that led inside him. Avon was—his It would be so easy, he thought to himself, heart threatened to stop: So it’s just sex, is it, as they manœuvered themselves round on Avon? D’you do this for everyone you tumble, the bed, to get furious with Avon, but that was my friend?—rimming him, tongue softening something he wasn’t about to do in here. The the tight muscle, pushing in, bringing light to flight deck and everywhere else was the place the dark, making him so wet inside, so to vent his spleen, to tell Avon a thing or two, shiveringly, wondrously ready to be fucked. to keep him in check. But in here, this was The tongue stayed there, fucking him, then where their hearts had to lead. Or consider- there were sucking bites on the sensitised ing how emotionally crippled Avon was, where arsehole, hard enough to sting, soft enough Blake’s heart had to lead them. No words to drive him half insane with need. He was a then, for he might well make a sharp and gibbering idiot, cock dribbling, arse drooling, nasty comment, might forget the lines of empty inside, void, devoid, needing, needing, battle demarcation between them. Later, he needing— told himself, later, later, later. Now it’s love, And he was filled. Whole. Complete. United. that’s what we’re working on here, that’s All the fractured parts pulled together to form where I’m leading him here. Lose him now a whole, and he knew who he was. He had a and you’ve lost him for good, in here and out name again, he had found his soul, and it was in the world. Just love him, that’s all he inside him, hot and alive. Moving, moving, as needs. if breathing, as if panting after racing back No words, so he stole Avon’s weapons from into him from an eon away. He shoved him with the subtlety of the lamb, gone before backwards, wanting Avon deeper into him, 53 ▼▼▼ Avon could even detect the soft touch. But his wanting to feel Avon’s chest plastered to his hands weren’t soft on Avon’s flesh, kneading back, surrounding him, swaddling him back and squeezing, moulding and rubbing. Ma- to rebirth. This, oh, this was love, this was rauding all over Avon’s skin, taking command what it was all about, this was what would of the powerful passion that erupted between keep him sane and keep him strong and this them, all those banked fires exploding into a was what would finally defeat the Federation single conflagration, a burning heat Blake and pay them back for what they’d done to welcomed with open hand and greedy mouth, him and all the others. But this was the feasting on Avon. Sex was the coin of the perfection of his life, this was his heart come moment, and he paid it willingly, feeding his home to bring vitality back to the catacombs love whilst he fed what Avon so deludedly that he had wandered in, alone and grey, thought was nothing more than lust. But, oh, throughout his past. Now he had Avon, now how much more it was, how much more than he was complete. Now he had love, and could anything Blake had ever imagined, even on give it. And that love was plunging into him, the long nights of waiting for Avon to yield pointed heat spearing him, gutting him, that last inch so that Blake could take that splitting him open and then salving the gaping urgent mile. After this, how could Avon pos- hole, easing all the pain of a lifetime’s hurt, sibly deny that it was nothing but sex? You loving him. didn’t have this incandescent pleasure from He had known what Avon hadn’t known: just sex and you— he’d known that Avon could love, and did He thought he would dissolve from the love, him. He’d known that all Avon needed delight of it. Avon was turning him, positioning was to be shown the right path and then he— him to plunder the body of love that was Avon, Blake, with Avon in him, each was the offered him. But there wasn’t the expected other and both were one—would be free and bluntness of cock cauterising its way into alive.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Love plundering him, love stealing into his precisely what Avon wanted from him. And if every cell, Blake keened his ecstasy, body he did that, then he would, without the singing the praises of the cock and the man shadow of a doubt, fail this trial that Avon joined to him. He could feel every jolt of was putting him through. He should, he hipbones into his upraised arse, every thrust thought, running his hands through his hair that sent his prostate to heaven and turned as he went to cool off in the bath, have his spine to jelly. And Avon was in him and expected this kind of routine from Avon. over him, chest pressed to Blake’s sweating There would have to be elaborate tests and back, and Avon was around him, strong arms constant questionings, like a child always banding Blake’s chest, forearms pressed so asking ‘but why?’ And in love, he reminded hard and right on nipples that were screaming himself, as he bathed and smoothed his face his pleasure. He knew—knew—the moment and tamed his hair, Avon is nothing more Avon came inside him, knew the moment than a child. He dreaded to think what kind when Avon’s seed, Avon’s life-force erupted of childhood Avon had had, but he was willing into him, rebirthing him. Then, and only to bet his life’s blood that it was abusive of the then, when he had his lover’s cum inside him, worst sort. Poor Avon, to have to carry that could his own cum splash from him in abrupt kind of thing around with you. Perhaps there streamers of glory, all of him streaming from was something, with a bitter humour that his own cock, as Avon streamed into him, neither amused nor convinced him, to being endless circle, endless cycle of life and love mindwiped. But still, and this as he was and perfection. putting clean clothes on, finalising the There was a time that passed, unnoticed, eradication from himself that Avon had ever unremarked, but existing nonetheless, while been there, it was only a matter of time before Blake lay sprawled and insensate on the bed, Avon saw the light. Only a matter of time limp of body and spirit, sated and havened as before Blake himself had passed all the tests 54 no time in his living memory. The awakening and proved that Avon could trust him. The ▼▼▼ was slow, languid, comfortable, an easing bed wanted making, so he started on it, from one world into the next, from sleeping to dumping the covers on the floor so that he waking, from dream to reality. Blake smiled, could fit fresh sheets to the bunk. And there his first thought one of how much of a it was, lying on the pillow, so quietly, so small, difference it was going to make to life to have that at first he almost missed it. A single hair, a happy and loving Avon at his side. With that straighter and darker than his own. He picked kind of backing, practical and emotional, it up between thumb and forefinger, holding what could possibly stand in his way? He it up to the light. It was, he thought, an omen stretched a little, enjoying the lingering ache of a sort. No matter how silently Avon had of muscle and the sharp twinge in his arse slipped away, no matter how careful he had that reminded him so sweetly of what he and been to leave as if he’d never been there, no Avon had shared. If he moved, he could even matter how hard he had tried to deny that any feel the itchiness of dried cum, where Avon of this had ever happened, he had left a bit of had seeped from his body. himself behind. Only a strand of hair, true, And in that moment, he heard the itchy but symbolic all the same. silence of the room that told him that Avon Blake liked that, the fact that Avon had had seeped from his hands. A twist of his been powerless to make sure that all traces body, and he was sitting upright, in a bed had been eliminated. A single strand of hair, even more rumpled than his hair. The bed- but proof. Not even Avon could wipe the slate ding and his body were the only signs that entirely clean, not when love was involved. Avon had ever been there. Not a forgotten belt By the time he went through that door or sock, not a dropped computer circuit, and after Avon, Blake wasn’t foaming at the mouth certainly nothing so mundane as a note. Fury to bring Avon back, he was whistling. If Avon smote him, knocking him to his feet, half-way had left a part of himself behind, it served to to the door before he realised that that was remind Blake that it was only a matter of time

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ before what was left behind was Avon’s heart refused the luxury of never having to be in in Blake’s own capable hands. darkness, it didn’t even occur to him to put It was an old tune he was whistling as he out the light, instead pulling the bedclothes went towards the day and the flight deck, back, oblivious to the natural way Vila slid with Avon standing in the middle, and there out of the way, leaving him enough room to was a spring to Blake’s step and a twinkle in settle himself comfortably. The sheets were his eyes. Oh, yes, it was only a matter of time. warm from Vila’s body and held a trace of the He knew he’d been right. scent that Avon could—and did—recognise in the dark. Everyone, he thought sleepily, “BLAKE GET TIRED OF YOU THEN,” WERE THE FIRST covers up under his chin, as he lay on his left WORDS SPOKEN WHEN THE DOOR CLOSED AND A VON WAS side then tossed to his right, covers coming INSIDE. up to his ears, had their own unique smell “Shut up, Vila.” and some of them were quite nice, really. “Give me one good reason why I should.” Familiar. Like home. Like Mummy bringing “Because I’m too tired for any of your crap. me in a warm drink before I went to sleep or Will that reason suffice?” He knew the reason Daddy when he came home from work still itself wouldn’t, but the expression in his eyes smelling of the archives. would. Vila wasn’t a fool—well, not quite all of The source of the familiar scent was the time—and anyway, not even a fool would wrapping himself around Avon, as always cross him in this mood. Bone weary, and not and Avon, as always, relaxed into it, muscles from physical exertion, Avon sat down on the limp and heavy, body shifting slightly to room’s only chair, tugging his boots off, taking accommodate the arm that came round to a moment before he pulled off his socks. encircle him. He was so tired, so terribly tired, Getting to his feet, he got rid of the rest of his and all he wanted to do was sleep in peace clothes, looking again at the man who was and quiet with no one to disturb him or lying in the bed. He half-smiled to himself— bother him. What he wanted, was a respite 55 ▼▼▼ he knew that rightfully suspicious and wary from complication personified: Blake. He look of old. And he deserved it, he thought to squirmed a little, not quite able to drop off, himself with habitual honesty. After this past not quite able to let go. And then he heard it, year or so, I should consider myself lucky that the sound that signified security and safety Vila argues so little with me. After a bout with and no questions asked. Vila, at his back, Blake, this dumb insolence is a welcome rest. snoring softly. Half-asleep, Avon smiled to “Coming to bed are we?” Vila said to him. himself, amused by the gentle irony. He could “Hardly. In case you hadn’t noticed, you’re never think with Vila snoring away in the already in bed. I’m merely joining you.” corner, but he always dropped off the minute “What for?” he heard that sound behind him. Habit, he Avon did smile at that, rather fond of such supposed, with the last few thoughts that uncomplicated suspicion, that came with no meander round before they get hopelessly strings attached and none of Eros’ pointed lost in Morpheus’ maze, been doing it for so barbs hovering in the wings. “Not the usual. many years, it’s probably a conditioned reflex. I’m too tired for athletics.” Had he had the energy, he would have “You’ve come here to sleep?” Well-practised, chuckled: and to think Mummy and Daddy the shocked outrage rang true, even though thought he was my servant from University. both of them were well aware of just how often If only they’d known… Best thief in the of late Avon had come here for nothing more business. Quickest hands. Best hands. And than precisely that—well, something con- never asks any questions. Never makes any siderably more than that, but that subject demands. No strings. Not like Blake. Hang was taboo, verboten and Not Discussed. me one of these days with all those strings “What else?” was the weary answer, his he’s got attached… tiredness taking the usual snap out of his It was during the dead hours of the night voice. Knowing Vila’s opinion of people who when he awoke, and he knew that without

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

having to check his clock. It was there, in the terms of what he himself had mutated into, feeling of the time, in the lifeless stillness of that he would consider sitting back whilst the the ship. It was there in the feeling of solitude. lives of billions were destroyed and all be- It was there, in the utter silence that lay cause of— behind him. Now why the hell was Vila He didn’t know. awake? Avon stayed as he was, not giving Blake knew, and when he heard it from himself away, knowing Vila well enough that Blake, it made such flawless sense, such if he lay in wait, Vila would speak. perfectly emotional logic, but away from him… “You awake, Avon?” Away from him, he had Vila, who was “With you rattling on? What else could I warm and loving and undemanding. Who be?” was willing to let him bury his doubts in the No response to that, and Avon began to heat of flesh without demanding emotional drift back to sleep, deciding that if Vila wanted brouhahas before, after and during. Avon to speak he would, and nothing Avon could flexed his back, well aware of how sexy Vila do would either prod him or silence him. But found the play of muscle, knowing with the then, there was something else he knew reassurance of long practise that Vila would about Vila, and that was that the thief used push coverings aside and then slide—like words mainly when he wanted to obfuscate that, perfectly—down his back, nibbling and the issue, but when he wanted to really sucking and kissing. He loved being rimmed, communicate, well, that was best of all. There which was handy, he always thought, for Vila were small kisses on the nape of his neck, and loved rimming him. Said he loved the intimacy a gentle hand roving his belly, tangling in which, despite Blake’s convictions to the hair, dipping into his navel. There were opposite, was something Avon understood whispered endearments, all of them about consummately. Still, there had been too much how wonderful he was, and how beautiful. of a tangled web ensnaring his feet today, too 56 And strangest of all, when Vila said them, he many months of the running emotional battle ▼▼▼ believed him. His own perceptions of his between himself and Blake for this silent faults seemed to be nothing more than the worship from Vila’s mouth to be enough. mist of false modesty, when faced with the “Get up here, Restal,” he said, being very obelisk certainty of Vila’s love for him. For it deliberate to keep his own dark mood from was that, pure and far from simple. He’d had his voice: the last thing he needed was a years of this, basking in this reflection of his maudlin Vila. “No, not like that, stupid, over own glory, of refuelling in the arms of some- here, on top of me, where I can kiss you. Ah, one who was always so careful never to ask the penny drops, does it?” anything of him—even tacitly. It was balm, “That’s not a penny, Kerr” Vila answered, albeit clothed in guilt, and one he was never smiling although his eyes remained as sombre quite able to refuse. Nor one he ever wanted as the room. “That,” he went on, settling to refuse, until the pricklings of his conscience himself more perfectly over Avon, until they bothered him. were chest to chest and cock to cock, “is my Still, for all it was a guilty pleasure, it was dick. And I haven’t dropped it. Not that I’d still purer and simpler than the quicksand noticed anyway. Should check though,” he treacle he was always on the verge on drowning said with the proper edge of comical melan- in. Blake. How he wished he’d never met the choly, undulating his hips. “You planning on man—and how he wished he would never see picking it up for me?” him leave. But Blake was on the flight deck, “Oh, I might be persuaded. What’s in it for poring over yet more plans for what they me?” would do now that Docholli had told them the “Three gallons of spunk. Fancy some, do what and the where, setting them upon the you? Or’d you rather make a deposit?” helter-skelter slipperiness of their long road “I’m getting rather low—” to Star One. Not something that he wanted to “Getting? Hah! You’ve been low—” think about, either in terms of Blake or in “Since I started to follow your example.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Avon dropped the kidding, his heart far from couldn’t give love. Love had been something in it, preferring this night to be spent on that had belonged with Anna, and for all he’d something a sight more important than chat- always been fond of Vila, there were neither ter. He framed Vila’s face with his hands, doubts nor misapprehensions between them. staring up intently at the man over him. “I He provided the sex and the friendship, Vila could kiss you forever,” he said, meaning it, provided the love. It was enough, usually. as long as he didn’t think about Blake, as long Had always been enough. Until Blake. First as he didn’t think about the inadequacy of his time there’d ever been some doubt that he feelings compared to Vila’s. But Vila under- would return to Vila after the current passion stood, didn’t he? Didn’t he always? “I could burnt itself out. eat you up,” he said, the compliments easier “You’re thinking about Anna, aren’t you, to pay than the penalty of love. “Devour you.” Kerr?” Vila whispered against his cheek, “Yeh, right,” Vila sneered at him, smiling tongue flickering out to lick him. properly now, slipping into the old game with Actually, some of what he was thinking an ease he’d thought forgotten in the drear about was how much Vila relished using his time since last they’d played this happy given name. ‘Kerr’, coming from Vila, always routine. “You know what you are, Kerr? A sounded suspiciously like ‘love’. But not that tease. A fucking pricktease. You’re just all Vila would say it, and not that Avon would mouth and trousers. ever express his opinion either. “I was thinking “Would you rather all I did was hold your about how I never stopped sleeping with you hand and keep my mouth and the contents of even when I was in love with her.” my trousers to myself?” It was fascinating, really, to watch the “I’d rather,” Vila said, sounding dauntingly unspoken words be heard by someone who like Avon himself, “that you’d shut the fuck would never answer them. Illuminating, to up and let me fuck you, that’s what. And we’ll watch the way that vague compliment start with the kissing, if it’s not too much hardened under the danger of Vila’s youth. 57 ▼▼▼ trouble, Kerr, you lazy Alpha snob.” But then, he had been wrong. The unspoken “You’re always trouble, Vila,” Avon told was being spoken about. “I don’t want to talk him, annoyed with himself when he saw the about Blake, not now. D’you hear me, Kerr? effect his words had. Stupid of him to stay You want to talk about Blake, you can just away for so long and then think a couple of fuck off and find Cally or Jenna, all right? If compliments would usher his way back in to you want me, you leave that bastard outside the sexual side of things. If he were going to that sodding door!” try bribery, he’d be better off crossing Vila’s “Shh,” he soothed, willing to let the subject palm with silver. Or perhaps not. That kind of of Blake drop—Blake was the last thing he felt thing could still cut Vila to the quick, and up to dealing with these days. Even implod- then where would he be? Stuck on the ship ing Star One was a more comfortable topic with no-one to turn to but Blake. Not a happy right now. “I won’t mention him if you won’t. prospect, not when he was so…afraid of Let’s make it just the two of us, as usual.” Blake. Oh, not for the man’s zealousness, “The way it used to be?” although that should be enough to terrify any “If you want it.” other—sensible—man. No, it was the way it “Couldn’t ask for more, could I?” was becoming so appallingly difficult not to It was to his credit, Avon thought, that he tell Blake all the heart-shaped inanities he doesn’t even begin to hint at how big a lie that demanded every time. And so difficult to keep is. “Then we’re all settled then.” He spread his their…sport with each other from getting legs, enjoying the simple pleasure of feeling completely out of hand. Vila’s hardness settle between his cheeks, And Vila, he noted, was tired of waiting for wonderful promise rubbing at him. He cradled him to finish his thinking and was leaning Vila’s face, joining them at the mouth, kissing down to kiss him. He opened his mouth, him, as he had said, as if it were forever. There inviting Vila in, giving him intimacy where he were fireworks, of a sexual sort, with Vila, but

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

never the emotional bonfires that marked his stared at him for several seconds, then opened time with the Annas and Blakes of this life. his mouth to speak. But it was sweet, and Vila was sweeter, but “Don’t say it,” he told Avon. “Don’t say not yet so sweet as the gathering glow of anything at all.” pleasure in his cock. He lifted his hips higher, Would the fool never learn? wrapping his legs round Vila, making it But then Vila’s mouth was on him and abundantly clear that this was one night Vila’s body was plastered to his, and Vila’s where there would be no need for long drawn- hands were milking his cock. There was no out advances. Simple and plain, that was room left for thought after the pleasure had how he wanted it. Uncomplicated, or as claimed him, so he allowed himself the rarest uncomplicated as anything in his life could of his luxuries: he relaxed in the bedroom, be, these days. Just him and Vila and their trusted himself over to the hands of another delight in each other’s bodies, and Vila’s love person, gave himself up to being what someone gift-wrapping it all up for special, adding a else wanted him to be. He arched upwards, luminosity to the passion. He had Vila’s saying the dirty taboos that made Vila shiver tongue in his mouth, and Vila’s cock knocking in his arms. The lube was in the same old at the back door of his body, the slickness of place, the same tube that he’d left there pre-cum wetting him, whilst the sure strokings himself the last time they’d needed it which of Vila’s hands on his flesh whetted his had been—too long, his mind nagged him. appetite for more. Too long. Eyes open, he watched the love on It kicked him in the belly, the sudden need, Vila’s face as cream was slicked into his arse, the sudden starvation, to have Vila inside as fingers fucked him with precisely the right him. He wanted, desperately, to be fucked, by rhythm. Almost of its own accord, his hips Vila, just hours after his last fraught scene lifted, widening the hole that Vila’s fingers with Blake. Wanted to drive the memory of were in, displaying in silence arrogance that 58 Blake from his body, as if that would clear the he was ready—now! ▼▼▼ man from his mind. He needed to think, and Gasping breath above him, gasping com- he couldn’t, not with Blake occupying every ing from his own body, then the moment of nook and cranny of every thought he had and stillness as the blunt head of cock pressed every move he made. But he’d be damned if against snub bulb of muscle. Then—a single he let Blake come between them any more thrust and Vila was in him, all the way in him, than he already had. Who, after all, was here, his prostate massaged by what felt like yards and on Avon’s own terms? Who was it who of hard cock. He moaned, letting Vila hear it, was reduced to incomprehensible gibberish making sure that Vila knew how much just because Avon had thrust upwards, his pleasure Avon was feeling, determined to cock shoving at Vila’s belly. No skirmishes assure Vila that his love was not rejected. here, to see who would end on top—to see Hard hands were grabbing his hips, harder who would win the war on the flight deck. cock was rippling up his insides, he was Just pleasure, and the cascade of love all moving and being moved. He saw the words around him, numbing the sting of this end- on Vila’s lips, the words that were never less battling that Blake had become. And it allowed to spill out. was so obvious, now, back with Vila, hearing Avon’s eyes fell closed and his head fell what Vila was mumbling at him, feeling the back, rubbing, rubbing on the pillow as the trembling tenderness of Vila’s hands, feeling cock inside him rubbed and rubbed on his the buck and weep of Vila’s cock, just how prostate. He knew if he moved just—so—his little of the love Blake professed was selfless. cock would be caught between his own belly How little was truly for Avon’s own good and and Vila’s, pressing it tight, pubic hair ca- how much was for what Blake needed. The ressing it, flesh squeezing it. Perfect, it was perfect mirror of his own relationship with perfect, and all the ecstasy was enfolded by Vila, if you stopped to think about it. And he the endless stream of words, by all the things did, his own hands stopping Vila’s, who that Vila always told him. Everything, apart

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ from the few words that they both knew were just become so used to Blake and all that a modern Pandora’s box. He didn’t want to went with him, that something akin to reti- think, had to do too much of that with Blake, cence was pearl beyond price right now. But but this was Vila, no Blake in here, no Blake’s the skin under his hands was covering tense games, no Blake’s demands. Just Vila, who muscle, not the almost liquid satiation that was in him and around him and all over him, was usual for Vila. In fact, Avon had lost keeping him safe, keeping him buoyed up on count of the number of times he’d joked about all that love. His cock was throbbing, cum Vila being so relaxed, he was in danger of oozing from the slit, his balls curled up tight falling right out the bed. Which was when Vila and cosy and snug at the base of his cock. would tell him that he’d better hold on tight Orgasm was pooling in his belly, and he knew to him then… The gentling sweeps of his that Vila was almost there. Could feel it in the hands never paused, while he lay there on his cock that was in him, could feel it in the back, contemplating the ceiling and Vila. The uneven rhythm of Vila’s fucking him, could last thing he needed was more complications. feel it in the tension of the tendons under his After all, wasn’t that Blake’s sole purpose in hands. He grabbed Vila, pulling him in even life? Vila shifted, settling more comfortably, closer, wrapping his legs a little more tightly curling up around Avon, nuzzling into his around lean hips. Close enough, now, to shoulder, getting cosy for the night. No dif- breathe each other’s breath. Close enough, ferent, on the surface, from any of the other now, to kiss. And how he wanted to. To kiss, times they’d shared together. No different, whilst they came, feeding one into the other. apart from the fact that it had been so long To give back, that way at least, some of the since they’d done this, and no different from love Vila lavished on him. Mouth to mouth, the fact that Vila was lying on top of him, not tongues brushing each other, orgasm rushed in the more usual limp sprawl, but in this through them, cum erupting from them, both tense holding on tight. stiffening, helplessly, for an instant, then “I’m not going to leave,” Avon said on a sigh 59 ▼▼▼ moving, Avon yearning upwards to meet that was supposed to be irritated. those last, deepest thrusts, holding Vila in- “Aren’t you?” burst out of Vila before he side tighter and tighter, unwilling to let him could stop it. Then: “Sorry. Shouldn’t’ve said go whilst the incandescence of orgasm rippled that, I know better than to ask you for that through him. kind of thing. Just ignore me, I’m just being Like everything, it ended, and with its stupid as usual.” passing, melancholy was heralded in. Vila And what was he supposed to say to that? was still on him, but no longer in him, their Agree, and not only would Vila be wounded, bodes no longer a part of each other. Nothing but he’d probably be thrown out on his ear— now, save a lingering thrum of pleasure, here, well, Vila would start a scene and I would end and here. Nothing to show how much love it by stalking out of here on my dignity, would had been spilled inside Avon, and how much be a better way of putting it, he thought. of that love had been accepted the same way And were he to argue the point… False it had been given: no strings attached. With hopes, yet again. There were so many things a gentleness that would have shocked Blake, they never spoke of, but at least they told no Avon stroked Vila’s hair, pampering him lies, at least they had no illusions. So best shamelessly. then, as always, to say nothing, to let the “Nice, that,” Vila said, and Avon wasn’t words hang between them, to lie here and sure if he meant the sex or the…oh, go on, contemplate the ceiling and Vila’s weight on admit it…the cuddling after. him and Vila’s hair where it tickled his throat. “Yes,” meaning either, or both. Lie there and let his mind wind down until he “Very pleasant.” could sleep again. “Yes.” An elbow in his ribs, a knee on his inner And let’s just leave it at that, shall we, Vila, thigh, a hand on his belly, and before the he thought, even though Vila never had. He’d discomfort could fade, Vila was gone, curled

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

up like a mollusc in the bed beside him, all defeat, “call me Kerr.” protective shell and ‘don’t look at me’. Sepa- A blur of motion, and Vila was wrapped rate now, they lay there, Avon listening to the around him, a blanket of hollow-eyed misery, silence, contemplating what had to be the clinging on for dear life—or a scrap of comfort. most boring ceiling he had ever seen. As if it “Oh, Vila,” he muttered, hands full of a man were mere chance or purest happenstance, trying so desperately hard not to cry, to not his left hand moved a couple of inches, just break, to be strong and not scream out all the enough for his little finger to touch Vila’s feelings inside him, “why the hell do you have warmth, the tip of his hand tracing soothing to love me?” circles in the small of Vila’s back. No answer to that, of course, just as there “I’ve never asked you for anything, have I?” was no answer as to why Avon himself couldn’t Vila asked him, answering the question love Vila. Oh, he was fond of him, he didn’t himself. “Apart from help when I’ve come out even consider denying that—not even to Vila of prison or needed something to tide me over himself. Had even said it, one night long, long till I recovered from an adjustment, right? ago. In the holding cells, actually, during the What I mean, is, I’ve never asked you for first act of this current farce he found himself nothing in bed. Apart from the usual push living. Annoyed, he shifted position, only to and pull, you know, do it this way, do that to have to shift again, as his move was misin- me, that kind of thing. It’s not as if I’ve gone terpreted by Vila. He couldn’t quite definitively around and asked you to…” decide which annoyed him most: his life, this “You’re babbling, Vila.” unheard-of lack of control he had over “Sorry.” A long pause, only the dim light, aforementioned life, feeling this guilty about the soft sound of breathing and the endless Vila (or about that stupid question on the circling of Avon’s caress. “Listen, I know I’m flight deck—what did he know about guilt steppin’ out of line, Kerr, and you don’t have indeed!) or finally, Blake. 60 to answer this—not that you would if you Fingers playing with the long silk of Vila’s ▼▼▼ didn’t, of course—and I’m not going to ask hair, he thought about Blake, and where he you what’s been goin’ on these past few was leading them, and what was in store for months an’ I’m not goin’ to start pokin’ my all of them, all because Blake ‘loved’ the nose where it’s obviously not wanted nor masses. nothing, but I want to ask you just one thing, “There are times, Vila,” he said, looking up, all right?” addressing himself as much as his companion, “Oh, you can ask anything you want.” “when the only solution to all of this that I can “As long as I don’t expect an answer, eh?” see, is to pick up the nearest weapon and use “Ah, at last! So it is possible to teach an old it to get Blake.” dog new tricks.” “Sounds reasonable to me,” and Avon “Give over, Kerr. I’m trying to be serious could hear the very real resentment in those here. Look, what I want to know is, and I’m words. No hint of humour, but resentment not prying or anything, it’s not as if I’m trying and the confusion that they all seemed to feel to get the details—not that I’d want them even over Blake. if you’d tell me, that is, mind—I just want to “Tell me,” he said, a question for a ques- know,” and his little speech was flooding tion, “and I don’t want one of your feeble faster and faster, until he was almost gabbling attempts at wit: why do you stay with Blake? it out, “Kerr, what does Blake call you in bed?” With Star One and Travis and all the rest, There were so many answers he could give when you are the least crusading person I to that. Silence, or a list of darlings and ever met and the one most concerned with sweethearts and my friends. But still, Vila the good life—and a long one. Why do you deserved better than that, if only for being stay with him?” stupid enough to let him come back, no other “But I don’t stay with him,” Vila said, questions asked. “He doesn’t,” Avon finally rather surprised. “I stay with you.” answered, just as Vila’s back had sagged with “Ah.” Not quite what he had wanted to

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ hear. “Yes.” Not quite what he had expected already, then hearing them from Vila was too to hear. “Well.” And how blinkered and stupid unnerving for words. of him not to have known. “If I were to leave?” “Shut up and go to sleep,” he said, wanting “Blake wouldn’t see me for dust. I think.” this conversation and this topic ended now, “You think?” before it went too far. Before it made him “Sometimes, yeh, actually, I do. Not when think, before it made him feel… it comes down to sex with you, mind.” He felt Vila start to pull away from him, “But,” Avon went on, nimbly side-stepping warmth and comfort being tugged from his any reference to his relationship with Vila, embrace. “Why don’t you stay where you are, “even were I to leave, you might stay?” it’ll save time in the morning. Unless you “Don’t know, really. I think I’d stay to see don’t think you’ll be up to another round Star One to the end. If what we’re going to do then?” Vila sank back into his arms, closer there’s right, that is. After that… Well, it’d than before, a sigh gusting damply into the depend on you, then, wouldn’t it?” crook of Avon’s neck. If there was one certainty Here it came, like a mutoid taking careful left in this world, he thought, it’s Vila. Just aim. say the right words, push the proper buttons— “If I had to go on my own, then I wouldn’t, and his hands kneaded Vila’s buttocks, fin- I’d stay. If I could go with you, then I wouldn’t gertips dipping to brush promise against stay, I’d go.” anus—and he comes to heel with his tongue “And if I left without telling you?” hanging out. Which was more than he could “I’d do Blake in. Or steal some treasure say for Blake. Or was it less than he could say from the store room and pay some big bloke about Blake? Either way, there was no con- to do it for me.” trolling Blake, no predicting him. No under- “Now, now, Vila, you mustn’t say such standing him, or himself, for that matter. He nasty things about our Fearless Leader and turned the problem over and over in his mind, Great Hero, must you?” looking at it again and again, trying to unravel 61 ▼▼▼ “Why not—you do.” the cipher of why he stayed with Blake and “Ah, but I was thinking about doing it allowed himself to be led. All the usual an- myself, instead of wasting perfectly good swers were there, of mutual protection, of the money.” ship, of the money in the store room, of the “But you don’t want to do away with him absence of a suitable bolt-hole. More answers, at all, do you?” lesser answers also, but none of them— “If it got me this ship? Of course I would, quite—rang true. There was something else… and without a second’s hesitation.” It lay gleaming in the unfrequented dark Vila didn’t actually say anything, but they caves of his mind, pearl before swine, sitting both heard the ‘why don’t you?’. But of there waiting to be picked up and seen. It was course, Avon himself didn’t know why. Per- noticed, by Avon, who approached it, drawn haps his perversity was showing, perhaps he by the light of its revelation. As he neared, he liked the battle with Blake more than the began to see its form and— sweetness of life with a lover. Or perhaps he He turned away from it, resolute, unwill- liked the idea that Blake, of all people, was ing to find that gem of wisdom. He didn’t, he trying to teach him how to love. The absurdity discovered, want to know. The hint was of that never failed to amuse him—apart, of horrifying enough. Vila was snoring again, course, from the times when it depressed somnambulant and soporific, dragging Avon him. away from his thoughts. Automatically, he “You’re thinking about Blake again, aren’t held Vila a little tighter, melting into the you?” warmth that was canopying him, rubbing his The last thing he needed was Vila becoming cheek on the softness of Vila’s hair. Now what philosophical on him. A philosophical Vila was it he had been thinking? But he was was a dangerously perceptive Vila. And if sleepier than ever, with Vila snoring so gen- Avon hadn’t admitted the answers to himself tly, as hot summer afternoon a sound as a cat

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

purring. Impossible to think, with Vila snor- him that he should do something. ing like that, so obviously utterly content in As if he could do anything. He couldn’t the sweetest of dreams. So hard to stay awake even keep Kerr—no, not Kerr. Didn’t feel right and think about Blake and all the rest of it… calling him Kerr any more, not when he was The sharply bright seed of knowledge lay sniffing round Blake like that. All right, so he ignored in the nurturing dark of Avon’s mind, couldn’t even keep Avon in his bed, and as for feeding on his fertile imagination, a pod getting the bastard to admit he loved him, waiting to burst upon him when least he well! Fairy dust and nonsense, his mum had expected it. And Avon, lulled by exhaustion always said. She’d never approved of Avon— and self-deception, slept on. never met him either—and she always said that Alphas were never anything but trouble. Hated Alphas, she did, although his Dad HE WAS ENTITLED TO RESENT B LAKE AS MUCH AS HE thought the sun shone out their backsides. WANTED TO, IN HIS OPINION, NOT THAT ANYONE BUT And him, after living with them for almost two HIMSELF EVER LISTENED TO HIS OPINION. Which just years? went to show what stupid bastards they all His thoughts were interrupted by yet an- were, didn’t it? In his opinion, which didn’t other acrimonious interchange between Avon matter. and Blake, an argument that everyone knew Nothing mattered much, not really. So had sweet f. a. to do with Star Fucking One. they were going to blow up Star One and kill Neither one of them cared about what was billions of people. Not that you’d notice, not going to happen. All they were interested in from watching that lot. He’d seen them get was their pathetic little power struggle. No more worked up about where to go for a bit of sense, that was the problem with Alphas. a rest. But it made sense, he supposed. They They’d think some problem to death, and were all either Alphas or alien, so what did then go and miss the most obvious bit. Such 62 they care if billions and billions of people died, as the obvious fact that there’d be no Earth to ▼▼▼ eh? What did they care if what was left of go to, if they destroyed Star One. Everyone Gan’s family died of starvation because the knew about the geo-thermal controls, right? weather control failed and they went back to Everyone knew what would happen if they all the old cycle of drought and typhoon? Didn’t failed at once, right? Ka-boom, the biggest give a toss, any of them, and why should Vila? fireworks display in the known Galaxy. He All right, so he had seen holos of Gan’s two could hear the tour-guides now: ‘We are kids—and he was willing to bet good money entering the famous Terran Asteroid Belt, that none of the others even knew that Gan renowned for it’s astonishing beauty. Un- had had a family—and he’d got a sister and derneath the beauty lies a tragedy. This was her three youngsters—two nieces and a once a planet thriving with people’… nephew, twin girls with the prettiest smiles His people. His family, apart from his he’d ever seen—on a planet that needed the sister and her three. Mum, on her own now supply system to survive, but what did that since Dad passed away, and that lout of a matter? brother of his, and his sister and his baby Everything. That’s how much it mattered. brother. Poor Den, he’d never understand And he mattered nothing, nothing to say that what was coming, not even if they had enough the others would listen to, so he’d keep his time to warn the people. But maybe that was mouth shut, pretend to be even stupider than the best way to be, if Earth was going to go, usual, hide himself away in the biggest glass you know, a bit simple, like Den. He’d like to of soma he could get his hands on. Nice drop be the same as Den right now. He’d be able to of stuff, soma. Made a man pleasantly numb, stop thinking if he were… but not the way most booze does. Nah, this But perhaps there were safeguard controls numbness was on the inside, where all the on Earth, to take over if Star One failed? pain lived. Nice to be able to shut all the voices Maybe there would still be a planet left when in his head up. Nice to stop them moaning at Avon got his fucking ship and dumped Blake.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

There was an expression of stupidity on his you, it did explain why Blake wouldn’t ever face and a sneer in his mind as he thought dream of saying ‘oops’ and leaving the thing about that. Just went to show how stupid alone. Would never do for him to make a fool Jenna was if she had to ask how come Avon of himself in front of Avon, would it? Right got the ship and she didn’t. Because you, my pair of fucking gorillas, that’s what that pair dear, didn’t fuck Blake on a regular basis. were. Preening for each other, beating their Shit, if that’s all it took, he would’ve fucked chests—and who cared who died in the middle Blake. And once he had the ship, then watch while they were playing topman? Avon try to leave him. His lovely soma was all gone. Terrible thing That was what was next, he was positive that, to be without soma at a time like this. about it. Even with Avon back in his bed, on Have to do something about that. Now, nice and off, even with Avon shouting about how and light, a delicate touch, right voice, and he couldn’t wait to get rid of Blake—of how he he’d be able to get a new lovely. wanted it ‘over’ and wanted to be ‘free’ of “Any chance of some soma, Cally?” he Blake—ha, bloody, ha. Avon couldn’t leave asked. “I’ve got a shocking headache.” Blake, not for love nor money. And Vila “Oh, all right, Vila,” too distracted to pay knew—he’d tried both. At least Avon hadn’t much attention. laughed at him. But he hadn’t come to him as “Thanks very much,” for your condescen- often as he had before. He’d even seen more sion. Wasn’t fair, was it, that he was the only of him when Bitch Queen had been on the one who had to ask for the stuff. Wasn’t fair scene. Going on at him like that—Vila had that no-one would listen if he said anything. never seen the like. So everyone—well, a Wasn’t fair that his whole family could be couple of people—knew that Kerr Avon was gone. one of what used to be the Avon family, before Wasn’t fair that Avon didn’t know love the Federation had nobbled his grandfather. when he saw it. Typical stupid fucking Alpha. Or was it great-grandfather? Whichever one Thought love had to be all fireworks and 63 ▼▼▼ it was, the rest of them had all seen sense, Wagner. Now Vila, he couldn’t stand opera, and so had Avon, more or less, until Princess he much preferred a nice tune that you could Anna had got him all worked up about taking hum to, a nice tune that you could whistle cos what he had been cheated out of. Vila was you were happy. None of this dramatic crap. willing to bet every credit he could steal in his Look at them, doing the same mating dance life that Anna had been more interested in round each other that they’ve been doing how Avon was going to get round the Banking since the word go. Didn’t either one of them computer system than she was in Avon’s realise that they were supposed to stop that inheritance. He’d hated her, but not as much once they’d done the mating bit? Arrested as he hated Blake. These days, anyway. development, that’s what it was. And macho Although it used to be that he’d thought bull-headedness. Digging at each other, all Blake was so fucking wonderful, a real hero, those nasty little comments, fighting over someone to really believe in. But look at him who loves who and how and how much, and now. Ready, willing and able to kill billions of not batting an eye that they’re using the people to prove that he was right. whole fucking galaxy for a game-board. Why Vila asked his drink, his beloved soma and couldn’t they just play chess, like sensible adrenalin, why Blake couldn’t just say ‘oops’ people? Or why couldn’t they just agree to like the rest of them and go and do something differ, split up and go their separate ways. else. Take up flower arranging, perhaps. Or Vila would like that. But Avon would hate paying attention to ‘intellectual fleas’. Oh, but it and Avon wouldn’t be able to do it. Worst that one still made his blood boil, not that case of sexual obsession he’d ever seen— he’d let them know it, of course. What had until he looked at Blake. Fuck it, but he made him angriest was the way Avon’d wouldn’t want to be in Blake’s shoes when he suddenly gone all hoity-toity Alpha on him. woke up and realised what he’d done. And to As if he deserved that kind of treatment. Mind think he was claiming to do this out of ‘love’

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: IN MEDIAS RES ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

and for ‘their own good’. Sounded just like one will listen. Not when you know no-one Servalan, that did. will really care. Avon’s family would be gone too, he sup- And Avon and Blake were still at it, he posed, although that might not be such a noticed, with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm. loss. They were such a boring bunch, Avon He wondered, idly, the soma seeping through the only one with a bit of life to him. The only his mind, if either one of those prats realised dark one, too. The rest were all that in-bred, that they might be shouting at each other, washed-out paleness, limp blond hair, watery but that in their own twisted little way, they blue eyes, receding chins. Not a backbone were making love. Loudly. Bang, bang, bang, amongst them, apart from Avon. Real throw- they go, fucking each other with words when back he was, spitting image of his grandfa- they can’t use their cocks. Bet that’s what ther—or was it his great-grandfather?—the this is all about. Bet Blake doesn’t give a flying one that’d got himself killed fighting the fuck about the people. Bet all he wants is one Federation when they framed him to get his people, the one person that if he convinces inheritance. Rotten old bastard he’d been, him, then it’s all all right. Piles and piles and from all accounts, but at least Avon had a piles of bodies, just so Blake can say ‘I told human streak in him. Could be so affectionate you so’ to Avon. And Avon letting him do it, when the notion took him. Generous, too, if just so he can say the same thing to Blake. If you ignored all the camouflage crap that it hadn’t been so horrific, he would have came out of his mouth. Not that he couldn’t laughed out loud at that. He turned his drink be as bad as he said he was going to be, mind, this way and that, drunk enough to be fasci- but look at what happened at Horizon. Came nated by the beauty of the light flickering down like a fucking angel and got them all out greenly. Maybe he should tell Kerr how lovely of there. the soma looked, Kerr liked pretty things. But And then he’d been too wrapped up in he was with Blake, so there wasn’t much 64 Blake to give poor Vila any real attention. point in him trying to interrupt,was there? ▼▼▼ Why the hell do I have to love him, Vila No use in much of anything, really. thought for the nth time. Bloody stupid thing So he turned his back on Avon and Blake to do, really. Wish I could stop… and their endless love-making and went off to But he couldn’t, and there was no use make friends with another wonderfully crying over spilt milk, or the spilt blood of numbing bottle of soma, whilst the Universe millions, was there? Not when you know no- went to hell in Avon’s and Blake’s handcart.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▼▼▼▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼S UA CUIQUE VOLUPTAS ▼ Everyone has his own pleasures. Time for a ▼ little light-hearted relief from all the emotional ▼ ▼ Sturm un Drang Avon and Blake seem to be ▼ ▼ putting us through. Lights Out is the final part ▼ ▼ of A Game of Tag, and the questions under ▼ ▼ consideration here are: will Vila have his ▼ revenge? Will it be pleasurable? And for whom? ▼ ▼ In Vino Veritas, on the other hand, has Avon ▼ ▼ wondering about pleasures already partaken ▼ ▼ of… ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ LIGHTS OUT ▼ ▼ ▼ A GAME OF TAG, PART III ▼ ▼ ▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

MOKE CURLED ABOUT THE DIMLY LIT she’d put down. “Ten fer table and chair, 65 ▼S ▼▼▼ bar, only marginally more irritating than the then. No loitering!” choking odor of spilled alcohol and unwashed Avon drew a fifty credit chit from his vest humans. Grimacing, Avon found a seat near pocket and spun it lazily on the table. The the door where he could watch the patrons woman’s eyes glittered greedily. come and go and get a small measure of fresh “Sure you don’t want a greaser? Got some air. A buxom serving woman, once handsome pretty boys and girls upstairs. Very clean. See perhaps, but now long past the age and the doc every week.” weight to flatter her brief costume, swung her Any idle desire Avon might have felt died at way over to him and slapped a napkin on the that comment. “No,” he said firmly. “I’m table before him. trying to find a friend of mine. A Delta grade, “Whatly’ave?” she rumbled in invitation. average looking, with brown hair, short Avon shook his head. “No drinks. I’m sideburns, not a very impressive hairline. He waiting for someone.” likes to drink odd concoctions and gets She eyed him appraisingly. “Need a greaser talkative. Friendly.” ’r a mule?” she asked in a voice as rough as “Ah, you be talkin’ bout Vila Restal, I her surroundings. wager,” the woman nodded sagely. “Left a “Pardon?” Avon couldn’t begin to guess coupler hours ago. Such a dear he were, givin’ what the terms were slang for on this mis- handsome tips all night.” begotten backwater planet. Avon felt unreasonably disappointed. He’d “Sum’ought t’ grease yer privies, ’r sum’ known Vila had planned a bender the minute ought fer nightwork?” they set down for shore leave, but he’d hoped Someone to sleep with or someone shady the thief would stay put in one place long for an illegal job, Avon translated to himself. enough for Avon to find him, before Vila “Neither, thank you.” became too incapacitated to explore other She grunted and swept up the napkin shoreleave activities.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▼▼▼▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

The woman was reaching for the credit the same dirty napkin. “Or ’nother ten fer the chit. Avon put a finger to it, stopping her. “I’d extra chair. No loitering!” like to know if he mentioned to anyone where Avon stood up. “We were just going,” he he might be headed next. That’s not too much said cooly, and taking the boy’s elbow, steered for you to look into is it?” He let go the chit and him out of the dingy establishment. The she scooped it up quickly before he might serving woman’s glare followed them all the change his mind. way out. “Don’cher worry, I’ll find out fer you in jest “Now,” Avon said when they were on the a moment,” she promised. “An’ if you want a street, “just what message did Vila leave for greaser later, you jest lemme know. We got me?” good boys an’ girls. Very clean sir, very fine.” The boy grinned affably at him and rubbed She winked and was gone. Avon repressed a at his neck. “Didn’t leave no message, mister, shudder, then settled back in his chair to jes’ told me to come here and fetch you back. wait. Said t’ look fer a dark-haired fella in fancy He couldn’t blame Vila for wanting to run black and silver, said you’d look like you wild this evening. They’d been cooped up on didn’t belong there, said you’d gimme a twenty the ship for weeks now, one nerve-wracking chit to bring you back to him.” chase after another from Federation pursuit “He lied,” Avon said deadpan. ships, and even Avon was glad of a chance to The boy grinned again. “Said you’d be go planetside again. No work for a few days, careful. But he said you’d gimme the twenty just time to rest and time to play. There might if’n I showed you the way there.” even be time for another round of tag. “Lead on, then.” Avon sighed heavily. He was in the mood to “Nah, I’m not daft. You gimme the twenty start experimenting now. Trust the thief to be first. I don’t take you to the right place, you unavailable whenever needed. And Blake can take it back easy enough. But iffen I do 66 was no better, what with his insistence on show you the way, and you hadn’t paid me, ▼▼▼ going off alone this evening. Not like the rebel then you hadn’t oughta have no reason to pay leader to be so distant, without being up to no more.” something. Well, he’d just better not have It was logical enough in its own convoluted another rebel cause for Avon to get trapped fashion. Avon made a mental note to extract into helping out. Not this evening. Avon was the amount from Vila’s hide, and paid the going to relax, and that was all. If only he had money. He was led along then through a maze some proper company… of back streets and alleyways. The boy moved Ah, the serving woman was waddling back silently, quickly negotiating the twists and now with a young boy in tow. The youth turns of the dark passageways, guiding Avon looked no more than sixteen, a scruffy bony through. lad with an improbably innocent face and They arrived at a nondescript storage what was possibly blond hair beneath its coat building in an unpopulated area of the town, of grime. He reminded Avon of Vila somehow, going around to the back entrance which and the technician wondered what Vila’s faced a blind alley. Avon was feeling a bit edgy impoverished youth had been like. at the out of the way location, wary of a “Here he be,” the woman announced. “Boy possible trap. The boy pressed a wall plate says he’s been lookin’ fer you. ’Nother ten and the door swung in noiselessly, throwing chips, I’ll see yer left to yerselfs. ’Nother a pale wedge of light into a pitch-black void. twenty, I got a private room fer you. Got a “There you are,” the boy gestured. cushy bed an’ all. Very nice. Very clean.” “After you,” Avon gestured back. Avon’s brows drew together in pain. He The boy shook his head. “I done my bit. So shook his head. “That will be all,” he dismissed long!” He scampered off, easily evading Avon’s her. grab at him. She scowled in disappointment. “Drink fer The tech let him run off. He was not the lad, then,” she insisted, slapping down interested in a midnight chase through the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▼▼▼▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ back alleys of a port town. On the other hand, There was a fumbling at his waist and his stepping blindly into a dark room held no belt slid free, then his boots were yanked off great appeal either. and tossed aside. Avon did not resist. He “Vila?” he called questioningly. No answer strained in the dark silence to pick up any issued from within. Avon edged his way clues to his attackers. across the threshold, peering in to see if he “Do you know what we’re going to do with could make out any detail of the room. The you?” the deep voice whispered by his ear weak light from a distant street lamp did not again, close enough for the man’s breath to penetrate more than a foot into the room. tickle at his hairline. A hand, warm and large, Avon took another step inside, sweeping his pressed firmly over the swell of his crotch, hand along the inner wall, seeking a light fingers curling inward to cup under his switch. scrotum. Avon started, but still offered no A big hand, hard and meaty, closed around resistance, waiting warily for the first chance his wrist. He yelped as it jerked him forward to escape. into the room and the door slammed shut “Tell him now,” the second voice urged. behind him. Now he was truly blind. Avon “No, let him wonder a bit longer.” lashed out but failed to connect with his “We made out point. Don’t want to scare assailant. A hand caught his ankle, dragging him out of all usefulness.” him off balance. He wasn’t hurt, for the floor “Mmmm, all right.” And then an all-too- seemed to be thickly padded, but he wuffed familiar voice, no longer disguised, chortled, as a heavy form dropped onto him and quickly “Tag, Avon, you’re it!” wrestled him to his stomach, pinning him in Avon choked. place. The strong hands pulled his wrists “Blake?!” around behind his back, fastening them “And me,” Vila’s voice put in. “You did say together securely with flexible strapping you’d like to try it in the dark sometime. Gave bands. me all sorts of ideas.” 67 ▼▼▼ “Now you’re going to be quiet,” a low mas- Avon’s thoughts sped from shock to fury, culine voice whispered in his ear. “Keep quiet but then his anger gave way to a grudging and you won’t have to get hurt. Understand?” admiration for the elegant simplicity of the He nodded quickly, unable to breathe trap he’d landed in. He sighed deeply and against the weight on his back. His captor struggled into a sitting position. must have worn nightlenses, for the nod was “Very good,” he acknowledged dryly. “I accepted and the weight on his back eased suppose we’re even now. I do think it was off. Avon drew a few cautious deep breaths, cheating though, having Blake help you.” He trying in vain to calm his thudding heart as addressed his comments through the dark- adrenaline coursed through his system. He ness in the direction of Vila’s voice. pulled tautly at the straps about his wrists, “More of a collaborative effort,” came Blake’s discovering them too tough to tear open. He genial reply. “I thought Vila could use a hand ventured to get up but the hand pushed him disciplining you. That was a bit harsh, what flat again, then a booted foot kicked his legs you put him through last time.” apart. “I don’t dish out anything I wouldn’t take “Help me search him,” the low voice myself,” Avon refuted. rumbled. One set of hands held him still as “Yes, we thought you’d say that. Ready to another pair patted and rifled his clothing. So take your medicine, then?” Blake challenged. there were at least two of them. And how “It would take a better man than you to many others might lurk out there in the make me back down,” Avon sniffed. He turned darkness, waiting and watching? his head sightlessly, trying to track Blake’s “Got a gun in his waistband,” a softer male movements. “Turn the lights on; I”ll put you voice reported. “Feels like a knife or something both out!” in his boot, too.” “Hear him!” Vila scoffed. “He thinks we “Get them off. Take the belt, too.” don’t know how to handle his sort. Spoilt little

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▼▼▼▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Alpha snot. He’ll learn!” The thief seemed to Blake informed him, tugging a finger under relish the opportunity to turn the tables on the gag’s band to test its tightness. Avon his domineering companion. snarled invective at him, discovering that the “Avon’s been getting his way a bit too padded bit between his teeth did not prevent much, recently,” Blake agreed. “He needs a his crying out, but muffled the noises he lesson in humility.” made and kept him from speaking intelligi- So they wanted to humble him. Avon’s bly. loins gave an anticipatory shiver at the He was dragged up into a sitting position, thought. But he couldn’t give in just yet, not braced in Blake’s secure hold as Vila pinned so soon, not with Vila watching. his flailing legs and lashed them together at “Don’t be absurd. You’re the clumsy leading the ankles. Those straps were softer than the the incompetent,” he said loftily, and rose to one about his wrists. They held as snugly his knees. “Get these straps off my wrists. I’ve though, and Avon found himself helpless to no interest in your little games.” struggle effectively any longer. He sagged Blake’s deep chuckle rippled through the back into Blake’s embracing arms, wonder- inken void. “That won’t do at all, Avon. You’re ing with excited apprehension what they at our mercy now, and we’re not feeling all would do to him next. that merciful. I’d be a bit more respectful if I Vila’s hands were plucking at his jacket, were you.” wresting the material down past his shoulders. Avon sneered, hoping the effect was not Blake was pulling at it too, with low grunts lost to his companions’ nightlenses. “It’s dif- and exclamations as the tough material re- ficult to respect such social inferiors. Cut me sisted their efforts. lose now, I’m ordering you!” “Cut it,” Blake ordered, and almost at once There was a rush of movement from both came the tearing sound of a blade ripping sides, then they were on him, tumbling him through the cloth and leather. Avon shouted 68 back to the mats. It was disorienting and angrily, for it was a favorite outfit, but his ▼▼▼ exhilarating, grappling blindly with the two. words were mangled by the gag and only a When they touched him at the same time he protesting groan issued forth. Cool air rushed could distinguish between them, but when in at him as first his jacket and then his shirt only one pair of hands held him he wasn’t were torn from him. Now he could feel the certain which limbs belonged to which man. warm abrasive rub of Blake’s clothing against The struggle lasted longer than it should his naked skin. have, considering two men with nightlenses “Ready? Hold him, Vila.” fought a blind one who’d been partly bound. He was passed from the stifling iron hold of But it was more a warming up exercise than Blake’s arms to Vila’s lighter ones. They were a fight, Avon tossed and buffeted between the bare, as was the rest of the thief by the feel of two conspirators like prey batted about by things. Avon jerked away, more as a test than playful felines. with any real resistance. He felt the thief’s Avon smelled leather, something which arms tighten. One slid up around his throat, kept coming at his face. He ducked and stronger than he would have expected, and twisted, but the thing was finally slipped checked his squirming retreat. Vila’s breath around his head and jerked tight. It felt like a spilled in his ear. thin belt, with a softer rounded padding “Just try it. Go on, give me an excuse to put about one section which was forced into his some marks on you. You got your licks in last mouth. Avon tried to spit it out, but the strap time; well now it’s going to be my turn.” was pulled tighter still, lodging the bit firmly “Right, give him here,” Blake’s voice in- between his teeth. He gnashed at it in frus- structed. tration, but though it gave slightly his teeth Avon was passed back again, discovering could not penetrate the tough rubbery cas- Blake had shed his clothes in the interval. ing. Now skin stroked skin, the sensation “That stays until you learn to behave,” screaming through to Avon in the blackness

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▼▼▼▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ of his surroundings. He sighed and leaned in both cheeks. to brush his cheek alongside Blake’s, but a “That’s one, Avon. I’ll keep count for you, heavy hand caught the back of his neck and seeing as how you’re inconvenienced right forced his head down. His first thought was now.” that they meant for him to suck them, and he The whip whistled through the darkness wondered how they intended to secure his again, laying another fiery stripe across his cooperation. But the gag in his mouth re- buttocks. mained, and he was merely sprawled face “Two.” down across Blake’s lap. Two meaty hands Avon squirmed on Blake’s lap, unable to pinned him down, one clasping over his escape the stinging blows, but unable to keep thigh, the other pressing down between his still for them either. The lashes flared across bound wrists, on the small of his back. Under his quivering form. His cheeks began to throb him, Blake’s legs spread and shifted, allowing along the strike lines. He tried to cover him- Avon’s phallus to drop between them before self with his hands, but they wouldn’t reach they closed together again, trapping the or- down far enough. Blake wouldn’t let him gan between hard slabs of muscle. Avon move much anyway. But Blake was moving. swallowed nervously, wondering how tightly He was slowly squeezing his legs together, those thick legs could squeeze. A thin trickle compressing Avon’s cock, then relaxing and of saliva spilled past his gag, the bulk of the rubbing his thighs up and down the length- bit in his teeth making swallowing difficult. ening column of flesh between them. Avon “Ready, Vila.” groaned into the gag, thrusting his cock Avon started as the thief’s hand caressed deeper into the haven of Blake’s thighs as his goose-fleshed bottom. snaps of pain rained over his upthrust arse. “Nervous, Avon?” the thief taunted. “Pity “Twelve.” you can’t see yourself right now. You look so How long would it go on, the tech won- vulnerable. Very pretty, too. I always thought dered. He’d whipped Vila thirty lashes before; 69 ▼▼▼ you made your best impression arse-side did the thief mean to even the score? Or up.” maybe exceed it? Avon’s heart gave a skip at Avon made a muffled remark into the gag, the realization that there was nothing he faintly decipherable as “Go stuff yourself.” could do to stop the man if Vila chose to wax Vila continued, unruffled. “We’ve been vengeful. But Blake would stop him, wouldn’t talking, Blake and me, and we agreed you’ve he? Wouldn’t he? Avon shivered in uncer- been a naughty little computer technician tainty. and you need to be…what was it, Blake? “Twenty.” Chastised, that was it. Chastened, if not very Vila’s hand cupped over him again, tracing chaste,” the thief chuckled merrily. “Now, softly over the throbbing heat of the whipping ’cos, I’m such a nice fella, I’m gonna give you lines. a choice. You can give it up now, give in like “You should see yourself,” the thief sighed a proper humble little sod, and beg for mercy, lovingly. “All that blood rushing to the surface. and I might just take pity on you, providing Really stands out with these infrared lenses. you make yerself pitiful enough. Or, you can Looks like you put on little red panties. Ah, take your punishment like a man, and be missed a spot here.” The whip slashed down able to look us in the eye when all this is over.” again and Avon jumped, nearly losing his Avon made another disparaging remark cock to the clenched grip of Blake’s thighs. into the gag. “Twenty one. Yeah, you’re warming up “Yeah, I thought you’d choose that way. nicely.” Hold him tight, Blake.” As the hand stroked his arse Avon heard There was a whistling sound, and just as the faint squidge of something viscus Avon wondered where he’d heard the familiar squeezing through a tube. Sniffing, he thought whine before, a smack of fire burst over his he could smell something oily. The hand arse, running in a narrow stinging line across lingered near his anus, a finger circling

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▼▼▼▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

probingly over the clenched entry. wrists and ankles were not untied. The lights “Let’s see how warm you are inside…” stayed extinct, imprisoning his senses in Avon held his breath as the finger pried claustrophobic void. him open, rubbing cold slickness into the He was tumbled from Blake’s lap to lie opening. The oily smell intensified. He alone on the mats as something heavy was squeezed his eyes shut in reflex, though his dragged his way. Then he was abruptly world was just as black as with them open. grabbed and hoisted over a barrel-shaped There existed only sounds, smells, tactile object, arse high on the crest, his head hanging sensations: the throb of aching buns, the feel down over the other side. The barrel smelled of being held and touched, the rasp of skin of wood and lanolin, and the portion he was rubbing skin, the smell of the lubricant and laid across had been covered with something the men close to him, the dull taste of the bit soft and furry. A scrap of carpet? Sheepskin? in his mouth. In a world without vision, his Vespa fur? He burrowed his face in the other senses crowded the void with their softness, sniffing at the musky odor. loud, limited information. Hands pushed and prodded at him, aligning “Hold him tighter, Blake. I”m going to use his cock with a snug hole in the barrel’s my hand for the rest of these.” surface, then stuffing it through to dangle The grip on his thigh and back grew heavier, down into the emptiness of the barrel’s interior. forcing Avon’s cock deeper into the join of Hands unfastened the straps at his ankles, Blake’s legs. The stiff finger up his arse dug parting his legs to retie them to new restraints deeper as well, prodding him to tilt his cheeks fixed on the floor. They released his arms up for the final flurry of punishment. Then from behind his back as well, letting him the solid smack of an open palm shook his stretch out the cramp a minute before securing buttocks, flaring pain where it covered tender his wrists to new straps on the sides of the whip marks. The heavy hand came down barrel. He pulled tentatively at the restraints, 70 again on the same area, and Avon gave his feeling a small shiver of vulnerability at his ▼▼▼ first yelp of protest. inability to close his legs or pull away. Did this “…Twenty four. Starting to squirm, eh?” excite them as much as it did him? It must. Again the slap of an open palm against fleshy He did not need vision to know how invitingly surface, again the burst of stinging sparks splayed open they’d arranged him. across his arse. Avon groaned softly, rolling A finger trailed up his leg from instep to his hips within the limited give of Blake’s inner thigh. He tensed as it teased about his grasp. The finger in him twitched against his balls. Then the blunt smoothness of hard prostate, and Avon drew in a hissed breath of male flesh pressed at him. A heavy cock appreciation. The contrast of pleasure and rubbed along the crease of his arse, dipping discomfort maddened him as Vila continued down to squeeze slowly in between his thighs. both the spanking and the probing. His breathing quickened. And then the heaviest blow came, one hard “Do you feel me, Avon?” Blake spoke softly and driving enough to make him arch back from above him. “Do you feel how hard you’ve and bellow with the pain. The stiff finger in made me?” him bore up strongly, compressing his Avon moaned into his gag as the heavy prostate gland with enough force to stimulate organ stroked along his thighs. He could its discharge. The gag swallowed Avon’s measure the thickness of it as it pressed second shout as come shot from his straining between his legs, feel the weight glide up and cock, slicking Blake’s surrounding thighs. down the crease of his buttocks. “Thirty,” Vila breathed in the stillness that “That’s what’s going inside you, Avon. All followed. “Now we’re even, Avon. Now we can that stiff cock sliding up your arsehole, and start having fun with you.” you just drooling to feel it.” Avon shook his head limply. Oh, they’d got Blake’s finger—or was it Vila’s?—bore him this time. There would be no easy escape. confidently through his clenched entry. He The gag was not removed, the bindings on his sighed at the intrusion, tensing at the stiff

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▼▼▼▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ slender probe, then relaxing his muscles as it toes digging into the yielding surface of the massaged him internally, spreading lubricant mats for added support. The ankle cuffs kept in preparation for the larger probe to follow. him from closing his legs together even a A second finger twitched its way in, pulling at fraction, denying him any real leverage to the pursed orifice in opposition to the first move. Loving the helplessness, the submis- finger, stretching open a gaping mouth to sion to their lewd attentions, he twisted and swallow Blake’s maleness. groaned as Blake kept up his rhythmic The heavy organ nuzzled up between his thrusting. cheeks, its velvet skin stretched taut with A warm wet tongue laved over Avon’s shaft, rigidity. He felt pressure, then a change in the caress seeming to come out of the same heat as it stoppered his opening, slowly bulging void as the thick rod pumping up his passage. past the guarding ring of muscle to slide up Avon shivered to its touch. He wanted to beg inside him. for more, for those anonymous hands and Avon groaned loudly, the sound spilling mouths and cocks to enfold him, to fill the over the gag in his teeth as he pulled at his vacuum in his gullet, to encompass his own wrist restraints. It seemed to take an eternity, cock and bring him again to completion. But the steady deliberate penetration awakening the gag kept him mute, a vessel with all every buried nerve in Avon’s vitals. Blake thought and feeling bottled tightly inside. paused halfway in, then began a corkscrewing Those thoughts, those feelings, swelled motion back and forth as he slowly sank his without outlet until Avon thought he must length the rest of the way inside Avon’s burst from the pressure inside him; and still writhing form. The weight of him pressed Blake’s cock thrust within him, as Vila’s down on Avon, cramming the base of the mouth closed over his straining shaft and tech’s cock down through the knothole in the started to gently suck. barrel. Avon began to whimper, a tiny high moan After enduring such long and terrible crav- at the top of his throat, breathed out his nose. 71 ▼▼▼ ing for just this satisfaction, Avon nearly He was flush with sensation. aching from the sobbed at the aching goodness of Blake’s desire for release. The little sound seemed to inward thrusts. He’d never felt so pulled spur Blake to harder and faster strokes, each apart and filled, his passage stretched im- forward snap driving Avon up off his feet, with possibly wide and stuffed with swollen flesh. only the cuffs to stop him from being thrust A hand caught hold of his cock inside the over the back of the barrel. His balls were barrel. Avon gasped and jerked back in alarm, mashed and bounced on the furry covering of trying reflexively to free himself. It was too the barrel as Blake’s loins smacked rhyth- late. Blake was full up him, pinning him into mically against his reddened arse, and his place, and his own cock was trapped tight by cock was driven repeatedly through Vila’s the knothole itself, too swollen with new nursing mouth. He was trapped between the arousal to fit back through. two, the driving staff up his backside and the The hand pulled at his tender flesh a tongue slavering at his isolated cock. moment, making him fear an assault on his The sensation soared upward and out, unprotected phallus, but then moist cresting with shattering force to make Avon smoothness caressed him instead. Lips scream and convulse. His body shook, fingers trembled over the hypersensitive flesh, —and clenching, back arching, as a wave of pleasure oh—little flicks from the tongue poking crashed through him. Liquid pleasure burst through them. It was excruciating heaven. from his rigid staff, to be swallowed away by Above him Blake still rocked slowly, keeping the wet vacuum of Vila’s mouth while the his cock plumped inside the captive computer heavy cock inside him hammered the last tech. The flexing motions grew longer, with- drops of seminal fluid from his prostate. drawing the firm staff from its slick sheath Avon whimpered and twitched slightly as then sliding home again. Avon’s legs strained the final spasms flared and died away. He to keep his arse upright for the reaming, his was purged, cleansed, all desire sated, all

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ LIGHTS O▼T ▼▼▼▼▼ CAROLINE DARE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

needs comforted. He lay limply, his head little friend.” hanging down the curve of the barrel in utter “I like that line of thinking!” Vila enthused. repletion. “And I know a good spot to rest up, too.” His Blake pulled carefully from him, and in voice changed pitch, warbling a fair imitation some still-aware corner of his mind, Avon of the tavern serving woman. “They got cushy realized the rebel leader had not yet climaxed. beds ’n’ all there, very clean sir, very fine.” So too Vila’s mouth released his spent cock, “So you were there! And that boy, the one and he remembered that the thief had not yet who brought me here, did you really expect taken his turn. Mm, but he was too exhausted me to pay him?” now to see to them. Would they stop, for him? “What did he charge you?” Still breathing somewhat heavily, Avon slid “A twenty chit.” his cheek wearily against the barrel, rubbing “Sucker! He would have done it for five.” his gag strap over the furry covering. A hand “I took the money from your cabin to start patted out of the darkness, tousling his hair with actually.” reassuringly. “You…! Blake, did you hear that? The “Want it off now?” Blake asked gently. cheek! Oh, he hasn’t learned his lesson yet, He nodded. Hands fumbled at the back of not proper! I say we bundle him straight back his skull, and the saliva-soaked bit fell away. to Liberator, and start all over again. This time Avon spat after it, running his tongue along I’ll bang it up his backside, and you play with his lips to remoisten them. The hands moved the dangly bits, all right?” to work at his wrist restraints. “Not a bad plan,” Blake approved. “With a “God, that was…” he shook his head, few embellishments, of course.” searching for an appropriate superlative, A teleport bracelet clicked over Avon’s “…the best. Beyond all others. Just wrist. Then another bracelet clicked over his absolutely…absolutely…” other wrist. Strange, the bracelets seemed to 72 “The jolliest rogering you ever raised up yer be interlocked… ▼▼▼ bum for?” Vila suggested. “Bring us up, Orac,” Blake commanded. Avon laughed helplessly at the thief’s words. “Blake, wait, my clothes,” Avon protested “You filthy–minded, foul-mouthed Delta,” he even as he was enveloped in the flashing field said fondly. “Yes, you could say that. Only of the teleport. you would say it, however.” Silence fell on the dark warehouse, a still The last binding fell away, and Blake lifted calm broken only by the low hum of a tiny the sore but happy technician from the bar- motor. Then that motor clicked off, stopping rel, his flaccid organ slipping easily free of the the spin of infrared-sensitive film behind a knothole now. Blake’s arm braced Avon, and concealed video lens. A bony scruffy lad with he leaned gratefully on its strength, still an improbably innocent face clambered down recovering. off the roof of the warehouse. He hugged the “Here, we’ll get the lights now.” recorded disk close, ecstatic at his good “No, don’t!” Avon called out. He wasn’t fortune. The money he could rake in for this ready to break the spell. “I don’t think I want one! Uncle Vila wouldn’t mind. He needn’t to see what it looks like here. I want to ever know, really. And even if he did somehow wonder.” find out, how could he disapprove of a nephew “Don’t tell me you’re up for another round so enterprising, so steeped in family tradition? of play,” Vila scoffed. “Me own eyes tell me Whistling, the lad strode jauntily back to different. Your little friend isn’t waving me a the portside taverns, swinging the precious come along. More like a leave-off.” recorded disk through the night air as if to “Yes, but you two insatiable felons are far shake imaginary steam from it. A bloody from done in. Let’s find a comfortable change fortune, that’s what he’d sell it for. And of venue, and then I’d like to watch the pain perhaps make a back up copy to keep for of you tire yourselves out on each other. I himself as well. predict it could prove quite inspiring to my

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

IN VINO VERITAS CALLY DONIA

HE SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT, HE KNEW HE SHOULDN’T have. So, no obvious physical signs, bar the HAVE DONE IT. Of course, at this point, he wasn’t recognisable vagueness that was a hangover- sure what it was he had done, but whatever that-wasn’t. He knew he should feel as sick as it was, he knew he shouldn’t have. Which left a dead parrot, but the medicine had blocked him lying in the dark, the fetid murk of his that. He knew that his head should feel as if mind trying to work out not only what the hell it were going to fall off—but all he had was the it was that he had done that he really shouldn’t uncomfortable sensation that several screws have, but also such minor details as where were loose. And all of them had to do with last the hell he was—and who the hell was in bed night. with him. For if there was one thing of which He felt like a child locked in his bedroom at he was absolutely certain, it was that he was night, with an aggressively raucous grown- not alone. Not by a long chalk, judging by the ups’ party going on in the living room. He heat and the bulk he could sense behind dreaded it, even though he had no idea what himself. He considered turning over to see it was. He really should turn over. Really, he who it was, but that involved several truly ought to. Get it over with. After all, how unpleasant options, not least of which was terrible could it be? All right, so he had got the matter of discovering with whom, precisely, drunk—inward, horrified cringe at that—and he had done whatever it was he shouldn’t fucked someone. What was so awful about 73 ▼▼▼ have done. Whatever that was… that? Backtrack, he thought to himself, go Tentatively, he moved his head on the back over yesterday evening. Spacefall early pillow—pillow? Yes, definitely a pillow, defi- evening local time, mid-afternoon our time. nitely a bed, albeit altogether too narrow, Mindless morons in endless meetings, then I definitely some very peculiar bedding. Not to got rid of Blake and went out to sample what mention the bedmate…—and discovered that passes for night life—if you get so drunk you his head didn’t fall off when he moved, nor did go blind. Pub, with Jenna and Gan and Vila. a horde of tap-dancing michelin-men start Cally hovering round, as she will, some drinks, hobnailing it about. So, whatever it was he lots of chit-chat, more drinks, even Cally shouldn’t have done, although he had been getting rather merry, more drinks and then… stupid enough to get drunk enough that he He couldn’t remember. There was some- had done ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ was, he hadn’t been thing, and then nothing, and then waking up so stupid as to get drunk without first taking here. The bit in the middle was a cypher to a very effective hangover cure first. The main him. Well, he’d always been embarrassingly drawback of that, of course, was the fact that good at puzzles, so let’s go through this piece it left his entire body rather pleasantly numb, by piece. Drinks, in that pub that would have which left him rather pleasantly unaware of been called ‘charmingly rustic’ on a civilised whatever the hell his body had been up to the planet, but which was the height of sophis- night before. This being the morning after, tication on this back-water mudball. however, he was beginning to wonder if it Then…Oh, yes, then there was that. Walking might not be better for his state of mind if his along the boring street, arm-in-arm with body were in slightly worse condition. If that what some ignorant, unsophisticated ob- were the case, then at least a discreet squirm servers might have called drunken camara- or two would give him some idea of whatever derie. With Vila singing solo, until Jenna had it was that he had done that he shouldn’t joined in with that song about the dong with

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

the luminous nose and where he’d shoved it you saw her coming. So it wasn’t Jenna then. and what had happened when… Well, it had Which left the question begging: if it wasn’t seemed funny and sexy at the time. That was Jenna, then who the hell was it? He was when… Oh, bloody hell, what had happened tempted to roll over, but if he wanted to see next? He rubbed his face into the pillow, whoever it was he had done whatever it was trying to clear the muddiness from his mind. that he shouldn’t have done it at all with, then The magic pills might get rid of every symp- he would have to put the light on. Which tom imaginable, but they couldn’t do a damned would probably waken whoever it was, and thing for the fuzziness of the mouth or the that was definitely something he shouldn’t mind. He struggled—rather lethargically, his do. The last thing he wanted was to face brain at least half dead—through the gauze someone in the moment when he learned and then the next part came back to him. who it was: one might reveal all sorts of things The Brothel. Groaning, he wished, most that one really didn’t want revealed. Such as fervently, that his mind had remained what shock that one had actually gone to bed with was now looking like a very comforting blank. whoever it was he had gone to bed with. He Oh, yes, then had come the brothel. With didn’t much fancy his chances if Cally were to Jenna doing a strip on the table and— see his horrified shock if he’d gone to bed with He had, hadn’t he? He’d poured cham- her. Worst thing about sleeping with Cally pagne—or fizzy grape juice, it being a local was that you couldn’t keep your mind out of product—all over her, so that everyone could the bedroom. She was more interested in lick it off her. And everyone had. Jenna. God, cerebral knowledge than carnal knowledge, he had fucked Jenna. Well now, no-one was which was fine—in a person who wasn’t a going to be surprised by that, were they? telepath and who wasn’t sleeping with Avon. Apart from himself, of course. Jenna. It could But…hadn’t Cally gone off with that tall be worse, he supposed. At least she was dark-haired woman? The one with the gor- 74 intelligent and strong, independent, forceful— geous rump? He thought she had… Oh, yes, ▼▼▼ had great tits. Yes, it could be worse. Jenna that comment Vila had made, the one that wouldn’t be after him to father her children, had gone right to his head—the head he kept wouldn’t be looking for a long-term commit- in his trousers, that was right: Cally had gone ment—for that matter, Jenna probably off with the brunette, and Jenna… Now what wouldn’t even be looking for a second go. He had Jenna done? He pondered this for quite tended to be embarrassingly enthusiastic some time, rebuilding the few sotted fragments when drunk. But then, Jenna was the ath- he could come up with. Ah, yes. Jenna. And letic type, not to mention inventive and ad- the entire crew from the spacers’ transport. venturous. And as he had mentioned before, Ah, yes, Jenna, a woman of enormous taste she was very forceful. He could still remem- and even more enormous libido. Not to ber the day on the flight deck when Vila, with mention stamina. He could feel himself be- a mouth bigger than space itself and never as ginning to droop at the mere thought of it all. empty, had asked her how she would describe But drooping like a wall flower wasn’t herself in bed. “Dominant,” she’d said, and he getting him any nearer to solving his puzzle. had almost been able to feel every cock in the And unless he wanted to confront his bed- room spring to attention. He flexed a little, but mate all unprepared and therefore vulnerable, he couldn’t feel anything, let alone whether or he had better work out who the hell he was not Jenna had plyed any little specialities on with—and what it was he had done. Without him. knowing why, he cringed at that, which made But… Something was missing, apart from him all the more nervous. What the hell had his memory. That was it: Jenna’s perfume. It he done that his mind was being as coy as a wasn’t there, and it wasn’t the kind of thing maiden with a lace fan, trying to hide the you could avoid noticing. How they ever details from him—whilst dying a death of managed to get past guards was beyond embarrassment at the very mention of last him—you could always smell Jenna before night?

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

All right, let’s be logical about this. It wasn’t such delicacies of gaol life as gang-rape and Jenna, she had her hands—and no doubt public use. Oh, yes, it’d be just up his alley— some other important bits—full. It wasn’t so to speak—to wait until I’m two sheets to Cally—she’d grown tired of his shilly-shallying the wind and then tumble me. I’ll murder and gone off with someone who was far more him, how dare he? After I’ve said no, to come willing and far less afraid of true intimacy. All after me like that. At least I was drunk, which right, so we have eliminated the two ladies— is some excuse for such a fall in good taste. and I use the term loosely—he thought with Not that Vila is all that bad: he does have good a smile at how the two females in question hands—perk of the trade, I suppose—and a would react to being lumped in with the effete wonderfully mordant sense of humour. Actu- upper élite, whilst he absently stroked his ally, for all that he’s a Delta, he does rather inner thigh, where the flesh tingled so well—far wittier than Gan or even Blake, for pleasantly in response. Which leaves us with that matter. But still, to have ended up the three men—although we do use that term soused and fucked by a Delta… He wriggled very loosely. Let us suppose that it was Gan. a little, but couldn’t get past the medicine to Worst thing there is the man’s lack of so- find out if he had the characteristic aches and phistication, wittiness and sexual niggling pains that always came from a return adventurism. Not to mention the no-doubt to the more…salubrious pleasures of life after lachrymose lamentations that would follow an eternity of abstinence. The pills obviously as soon as the great lump opened his eyes did a wonderful job on the headache of and realised what he had done the night hangover, but they were a real pain when one before: Gan was distressingly heterosexual, was trying to work out whether one had been bound by the most boring sort of middle- the fuckee or the fucker. He could always ask, class, off-world morality that had ever got on he supposed, but how humiliating. Pardon Avon’s nerves. Why, Gan couldn’t see the me, Vila, but did you fuck me last night? And beauty of a fraud for concentrating on the did I enjoy it? 75 ▼▼▼ ‘immorality’ of it! Oh, god, he hoped it wasn’t Oh, how too, too embarrassing! And the Gan. So many complications and guilts—or repercussions, my god, the repercussions! even worse. If Gan decided that this one slip Well, actually, he thought, calming down a meant a basic shift in his orientation, then little, they might not be so dreadful as all that. that meant months of calves’ eyes being After all, Vila has been round the maypole a made at him and great sighs being heaved. few times—all right, so that’s the under- What a nauseating prospect, thought Avon, statement of the century, the randy little who liked his sex to be lots of lusty fun and no toad—so he’s not going to do a Gan on me by lingering cloying ties. But if it were Gan… Oh, expecting some sort of following-through. all right, so he rather liked the man, but not He’s not going to want intimacy, the way Cally to have sex with! Surely he hadn’t been so does—he most certainly is not going to expect drunk that he’d gone to bed with him just to me to keep up with Jenna’s appetites, for find out if his prick was as big as the rest of which we can be truly grateful. As for him, as Vila was sure it must be. But—Gan affection…I am rather fond of him, in a really is big, all over, he thought, trying to tally roundabout fashion. I have known worse— the bulk behind him in whatever bed he was Blake springs to mind with unfortunate in with the bulk of Gan on, say, the flight alacrity—and at least I can keep Vila in his deck. With a sigh of relief, he realised that the place. He won’t be clinging to me every second two simply did not add up. So. If not Gan… of the day. We already share the same set of Vila. That little prick, it had to be Vila. The ethics—or lack thereof, as the case may be— little bastard had been trying to crawl into his so he won’t be coming after me with pamphlets bed from the first day in the holding cells and on the glorious Cause. And he is rather had turned bitchy—at least until he’d realised attractive, in a mousy, unthreatening sort of that this wasn’t the usual prison set-up and way. Apart from when he smiles at one, with he didn’t need a daddy to survive without that knowing twinkle in his eye. Ah, yes, that

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

little twinkle. The bastard set me up. No two to bring Blake to heel—or free himself from ways about it, no doubt at all. Get me drunk, this obsession with showing Blake who was get me to bed and then… top-man round here. Oh, all right, so Vila hadn’t precisely got And judging by the way he had conveniently him drunk—he’d done that all by himself, managed to forget all the salient—and, no hadn’t he? And, he thought with a sudden, doubt, salacious—details of the night before, threatening lurch of his gullet, Vila had gone here he was on the morning after wondering off with one of the ‘ladies’ at the brothel, the what the hell he had let himself in for. He Arellian with the enormous breasts. He con- conceded, with a groan, that fucking Blake sidered shaking his head, but the memory was probably not the best idea in the Uni- wasn’t worth the effort. He could’ve sworn verse. In fact, the only thing in its favour was that she’d had three breasts, but that was that it was better than being fucked by Blake. impossible, wasn’t it? But then again… There Now there was something he really didn’t were other impossibilities and now he knew, want to examine too closely. It smacked, for an absolute certainty and beyond all rather uncomfortably, of giving in, of yielding. doubt, reasonable or otherwise, what it was Of conceding that Blake was a force to be he had done that he shouldn’t have. And now reckoned with. Well, at least it proved one that he remembered, he really shouldn’t have. thing: that not even the great Kerr Avon was Blake. immune to the notion that what happened in He’d fucked Blake. Or even worse, god, bed dictated what happened out of it. If that end-of-the-Universe worse—he had let Blake were true…he didn’t dare show his face on fuck him. Maybe. He was rather terrifyingly the flight deck again. After all, if he’d spent the fuzzy on that detail. What the hell had they night saying, ‘yes, yes, Blake’, he was going to got up to, that he didn’t dare remember? All look a proper prat saying ‘no, no’ in the day. right, all right, he told himself, taking the It was…hard, for want of a better word under 76 same kind of deep, calming breaths the the circumstances, to confront someone with ▼▼▼ condemned took to help them face execution, the cutting slash of logic when you knew that just think about it, work it out, put all the every time they looked at you, they were pieces together. Go back to the beginning… remembering you on your back with your Blake, on the flight deck, saying things so knees in the air. Or even more underminingly, heavily laden with innuendo that Avon’d on your knees with your arse in the air. Oh, sprung an instant erection, even though what a stench there was going to be from this everything the sanctimonious prick had said particular kettle of fish. To have let Blake fuck had been designed to tease by suggesting sex him… while refusing the possibility of it—but always And, damn it all, to not even remember the with the tantalising tag of ‘well, perhaps, if great event the morning after. If he was going you have balls enough to prove otherwise…’ to be hung, it would be small recompense if Invitation to rape, that was what Blake was. he could at least remember the sheep that Well, not rape, but definitely a very forceful had got him hung. Or the ram that was seduction. Lead me astray, was what it seemed hung… He did shake his head then, realising to Avon that Blake was saying to him. Avon’d that he was mentally meandering, playing made no secret of the flexibility of his libido, with words to avoid them, toying with them to made only the discreetest of veils to cover take the sting from them. But it didn’t matter. what he had done and what he was willing to He had done it. He. Had. Done. It. With Blake. do in the future. And Blake had listened to With Blake, of all people. Thank goodness he every word, had responded to every unspo- had been drunk, though—he hated to think ken word and all but challenged Avon to he could be both so incredibly self-destructive prove that everyone was willing, given the and horrifyingly stupid when sober. And if he right circumstances. But nothing seemed to had thought there to be repercussions from be the right circumstance and he was going sleeping with Vila, well, there wouldn’t be so insane with the frustration of not being able much as ripples from this as tsunamis. Lots

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ and lots and lots of them, he thought with a trying to remember what he had said after he sudden burst of self pity, imagining himself had…persuaded Blake to come back up to trying to make Blake see sense and having the ship with him. It was all a disturbingly Blake repeat back one the the really idiotic murky greyish-brown colour, as if he’d had things that one was prone to saying in the his eyes shut the entire time. But… Now there heat of the moment. Or the heat of the body. was an interesting thing, a peculiar little He did get on the maudlinly romantic side awareness that was slithering down his spine when actually inside another person’s body, like a lecher’s paw: anger. Now why the hell but at least that would still be better than was he angry at Blake? No, nothing so banal having been fucked by Blake. He couldn’t nor mild as merely angry. He was furious, believe it. Not Blake. Surely, even drunk, he absolutely bloody furious. Spitting tacks. wouldn’t have been insane enough to have let Blood boiling. Any number of phrases would Blake fuck him. do, as long as they were suitably violent. But then, he reminded himself with scru- Curious, he probed at it with all the skill and pulous and vindictive honesty, you did ask finesse of a surgeon, and when that didn’t for it. Literally. Remember? And unfortunately, work, he went at it like a bull in a china shop. he did. He had been so sure of himself, so And when that didn’t work, he did the only convinced that it was such a good idea. Just thing available to him in the circumstances. waltz up there, seduce Blake, fuck him into He got even angrier. Blake, being his typical oblivion, being as dominant and macho and bloody self, had obviously done something supercilious as possible, force Blake to admit truly iniquitous, but then, that was par for to having latent desires and even more im- the course and he’d been a fool to expect portantly, latent respect, for Avon himself anything else. and… And he hated being made a fool. He’d bumped into Blake when he’d wan- Which meant that Blake was going to pay dered off on his own after the others had all for whatever it was that Blake had done last 77 ▼▼▼ found companions for the night, and lain in night that Blake was about to learn that he wait until Blake was available—in more ways really shouldn’t have done. Just as soon as he than one. All the Dutch courage he’d imbibed remembered what it was that Blake shouldn’t had gone to his head, numbing his brain as have done, he’d kill him. Slowly. Now there surely as if it were already dead and swimming was a tremendously comforting thought. It quite mindlessly in formaldehyde. Oh, no, he had rather a nice ring to it, a pretty irony, the muttered inwardly, I didn’t actually say that, getting back at Blake for whatever it was that did I? Oh, but he had, as his rising blush they had both done. It served the conniving proved. To have been so…so…adolescent, at bastard right for all the other things he’d done his age, and with his experience behind him, that Avon hadn’t been able to wreak revenge and with his reputation—and to have said it upon him for. He was going to enjoy this— to Blake! A fate worse than death, indeed. especially as blaming Blake left him free to At least Blake didn’t have a big mouth like completely ignore his own part in the whole Vila, who would have broadcast it all over the débâcle. It was quite fair, really, if you looked ship and half the known worlds while he was at it from the right point of view—i.e. Avon’s, at it. But then, the queasiness in his stomach and excluding Blake’s. There were far too reminded him, Blake had used all that inside many times Blake had got off scot free, but information he had on Jenna to keep Jenna he’d get him for this, whatever ‘this’ was. very sweet—or as sweet as Jenna was ever It was ridiculous, he stoked his righteous inclined to be. And everyone, but everyone, anger, for Blake to take advantage of his lapse knew all about Blake and Avalon. And from grace, which was a nice way of avoiding Fionulla. And Morag. And… the fact that it was Avon who had set out to Perhaps he could hang himself before Blake seduce Blake in the first place. Deciding to woke up. Instead of taking such dire—not to seduce someone was hardly grounds for— mention permanent—action, he frowned, whatever it was that Blake had done. Avon

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

squirmed a bit at the thought, an uneasy Blake’s charms. Eyes still closed, he consid- awareness crawling through his skull like ered that possibility, examining it from every lice. Perhaps Blake hadn’t been entirely at angle he could think of, a probability square fault here. of the mind. Was he succumbing to Blake? So? Why should he let that stop him? After Falling in love with him? all, Blake had never let a minor detail such as Well? Was he? fairness stop him before, why should Avon be His cock twitched again, whilst his mind any different? Why should I be any different and heart remained impassive. Thank god, from Blake—apart from the principle of the thought the atheist, I was getting worried for matter, very few things in life being worse a minute there. Lust I can deal with. Lust I than being the same as Blake. Apart, of know and like and lust is something I can course, from being fucked by the megalo- control. Apart, an awkward confession maniac bastard. Oh, why, why, why had he twinged through him, from when I’m drunk conceived the notion of proving his point to and do something I know I shouldn’t have Blake in bed? His cock twitched, putting in its done, even if I don’t know what it is that I’ve own potent reminder. Apart from that, he done. Yet—a circumstance that he was ab- said to himself. And if he’d been so appallingly solutely certain that Blake would be more randy that he would have considered sleep- than anxious to reverse. I’m sure that Blake ing with Blake, why not simply reduce the will be quick enough to regale me with every frustration by fucking Vila? As both Delta salacious fact—suitably embroidered with and thief, Vila was well used to servicing puerile crudeness, just to make it really people, so why not simply take him in hand, entertaining. But if he thinks I’m going to just so to speak. lie here, waiting here for him to deign to tell Because I like him, his honesty piped up me what I did—his version of what I did— before he could strangle it. Because I like him. when I did whatever it was I really shouldn’t 78 Be that as it may, he answered, that’s no have done. Although I have some rather ▼▼▼ reason to be nice to the little snot, is it? In fact, unpleasantly prurient ideas of what it was liking someone was the best reason he knew that I got up to. But I’ll be damned if I shall lie for backing off at a rate of knots and running here on tenterhooks whilst Blake snores his off to the farthest star. After Anna… Well, way through my life. after Anna, he hadn’t been up to much, in They say that defence is the better part of more ways than one, and the drugs in the valour, but in Avon’s book, attack was better prison food hadn’t exactly helped. That was than defence any day of the week. Especially probably a lot of what was wrong, he consoled the morning after the night before. Umbrage himself, telling himself that it was all because in full flight, he slapped the light switch on the drugs had finally lapsed out of his system and turned round to give Blake a very sharp and let his libido kick in—with a vengeance, piece of his mind and the even sharper edge not to mention a really sick sense of humour, of his tongue and found— considering that he had gone after Blake. —Vila. Who was wide eyed, wide awake What on earth had possessed him? Being and really not what Avon had been expecting drunk obviously gave besotted an entirely at all. “What the hell are you doing here?” new meaning. But Blake. How could he have “Oh, that’s nice, that is. It’s my fucking bed, let it be Blake? And how could he have come that’s what I’m doing here.” he glowered his up with such an insanity, drunk or sober? disappointment at Avon. “But chance’d be a Perhaps because he’d always had a fine thing, wouldn’t it?” weakness for big, burly men with masses of Attack was still better than defence, al- curls and a smooth chest and soft skin and though there was a certain amount of lingering large hands and hung like a horse and… He alcohol induced stupidity that not even the was beginning to wish his brain was still finest hangover medicine could cure. But drunk, or at least unconscious. The last thing regardless of the evidence right in front of his he wanted to do was succumb to a litany of eyes, Avon would have sworn blind that he’d

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ gone ‘home’ with Blake. He had been so sure was moaning, “and less use. Couldn’t even that that was what it was that he shouldn’t get it up enough to make it worth my while to have done. But now here was Vila, large as life give it a good suck. Nothing, not a fucking and twice as confusing. “And what, precisely, sausage—more like a sodding worm, and one is that supposed to mean?” that’d been cut into tiny little pieces at that. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten, and it And then,” Vila was leaning up on his elbow being such a wonderful experience an’ all. by now, digging his finger into Avon with each You,” Vila said, poking Avon in the chest, his word, “just to make it all worthwhile, just to tone that of disappointment rather than make it absolutely spectacularly fucking outrage, “came in here last night, shouting brilliant, you had to go and fall asleep, didn’t the odds about Blake and how he’d been and you. On me, just to make me feel really gone and fallen asleep on you in the middle of appreciated. And after what you had come in your best technique. And after you’d finished here shouting your mouth off about. But by shouting about that, you decided you were the time you were finished—and it wasn’t going to fuck me, without so much as a by- very bloody long, I might add—there I was, all your-leave—not that I would’ve said no, mind, pumped up and ready to go, and you were but at least you could’ve asked—and then busy doing your impersonation of the sainted you crawled into bed with me, and then you Blake—dead as a fucking dodo and three were all over me, kissing and sucking and all times as heavy. And what did I get for my that lovely stuff and then,” his voice rising in troubles? Pins and needles, that’s what I got, outrage, “and then, after you’d got me all pathetic pins and needles, which is about worked up, which not many men could what you amounted to last night. Come in manage, I don’t mind telling you, not after here, waking me up from my well-deserved what I’d done already, but after all that, after rest, then you got me all worked up, you did, I got me hopes—and me other bits—up, you all dickied up and nowhere to go. You and couldn’t get your fucking thing up.” Blake, nothing between the pair of you, two 79 ▼▼▼ Avon was too busy staring at him in peas in a pod. Yeah, that’s right, that’s what dumbfounded horror to think of a thing to you two are. Tiny little balls that are about as say. His mind was busy, though, thinking much use as a virgin’s cunt.” such incoherent thoughts as those that re- He wasn’t about to let that pass, not even volved around the fact that he hadn’t let when he had noticed that Vila was rather Blake fuck him. And that the thing he knew appealing when he was all rumpled and on he shouldn’t have done was nothing more his high horse. “Shut up, Vila, I—” serious than a bad dose of brewer’s droop. “Shut up, Vila, shut up, Vila. You didn’t With a Delta. After having crawled into the give me much choice last night, did you? First Delta’s bed. After having ‘kissed and sucked you want me to open up, spread me legs for and all those other lovely things’ and what the you, and just when I’m all set to do it—even hell was left after kissing and sucking, when though you never so much as asked, I might he wasn’t up to anything else? What had he add—” this lacking the expected strength of said… Vila, unhampered by the befuddlement protest, carrying more wistfulness than fury, of unaccustomed alcohol—all alcohol was a “then you went and fell asleep and I had to get custom to him—was still saying things. Lots meself all shut up all over again. Not that it of things. Things that Avon really would was easy, mind, I’m a man of great and much rather not hear. Except that it got him enduring passion, all my friends tell me so. off the hook that was called Blake. And, he But I had to, cos you had nodded off right on was honest with himself, with the rather top of me and I could hardly breathe never major repercussions that would have come— mind have a good wank. Took me hours to get so to speak—with Blake, Vila was by far the back to sleep, and then my balls were sore, lesser of two evils. which is why I woke so fucking early when I “Limper’n my little finger, you were,” the don’t even have to be on watch for hours yet. lesser, though not smaller, of the two evils And it’s all your fault.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“All my fault?” Avon snapped, outraged Avon retorted, taking a leaf out of Vila’s book that Vila should be so unfair—after all, it was, and refusing to give in completely, although as everything else was, all Blake’s fault, in his case, it had a lot more to do with pride surely. “Because you can’t control your ani- than cowardice, “it’s hardly surprising I wasn’t mal instincts, you—” exactly chomping at the bit.” He was quite “I can’t control? I can’t control? Who was it pleased with himself, rather enjoying this what came in to who last night, eh? You tell decidedly déclassé interchange, all the more me that. Wasn’t me, was it, oh no, it was you, pleased because at least in Vila, he had Mister Fancy Alpha. It was you who was someone who could give as good as he got— shouting and moaning about Blake falling well, almost. Better, certainly, than Blake, asleep before you could fuck him, wasn’t me who had a truly nasty habit of hitting the nail making a proper charlie out of myself.” on the head—in public. Vila now, well Vila…He It is very difficult to sneer down one’s nose lay back down, looking at the other man, at someone, when said someone is leaning noticing his eyes, and the crinkle of smiles over one and one is lying flat on one’s back in that lingered on his face, as if just waiting for someone else’s bed, fielding complaints about the fun to begin again. Vila really wasn’t all one’s sexual talents. Difficult, certainly, but that bad, if you were willing to concede that nothing was impossible for Avon. “And if I the right background and education weren’t were,” he answered, feeling decidedly stung everything. Vila at least always gave a man and very hard-done-by from the pointed and enough room to manœuver. Always gave a legitimate complaints, his pride drooping man his due, said the wrong thing at the right alarmingly, “it is only because you are con- time so that Avon could sort them all out. tagious. You accuse me of making a fool of Unlike Blake, who wanted to dissolve him myself—how, when there was no-one else into the casseroled mess of the bloody Cause. here to see me but you?” And then fell asleep on him, just when Avon 80 It was as if he had stuck a pin in a balloon, had decided to seduce the bastard. He did, of ▼▼▼ Vila deflating to defeat with a suddenness course, without so much as a blink, ignore that was enough to make even Avon feel like the fact that he had done something of the a heel. “Yeah?” Vila was saying, all bravado same to Vila… and braggadocio. “Yeah, well, you made so Who was looking at him, as expectant as a big a fool of yourself, you’d’ve been a complete broody hen. It appeared that he had missed and total fool even if you were the last man something, some pearl of wisdom. No, he alive.” thought, erase that adage. I’m no swine, “If you were here, I’d still be the last man although perhaps Vila would argue the point left alive, wouldn’t I?” But his conscience was with me. And he would be right, poor idiot. tut-tutting at him, doing a rather unfortu- But he asks for it, and so well, too. So inviting, nately excellent impersonation of his maiden all his ignorances and witticisms—and here aunt. And when all was said and done—or we must use the term at its very loosest—and not done, as the case might be, looking at last sarcasms. Entertaining, if nothing else, and night—Vila really didn’t deserve to bear the when all one had to look forward to was either brunt of his bruised pride and horrified em- being killed by the Federation or Blake’s good barrassment. He would rather, much rather, intentions, a little entertainment could go a save that for later, and Blake… long way. And to give credit where credit was “I didn’t get any complaints last night, due, Vila did have a knack for making all this which is more than I can say for you, isn’t it?” nightmare seem as if it were purely temporary, muttered Vila, the dig undoing all of Avon’s a minor aberration on the way to a life filled fledgling good intentions, whilst he bolstered with an excess of riches and an embarrass- his pride by refusing to give in completely, ment of vices. Larcenous little bastard, he despite his much-vaunted and frequently thought with a smile. He’d steal the gold from displayed cowardice. a corpse—but say sorry whilst he did it. “Considering the inspiration available,” Charming, really, in his own way, and those

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ hands—such deftness, more than you would reconnected to the sharply witty comments expect even from an accomplished thief. And fluttering around the inside of his skull. he certainly is the best in his field, would Some nutrition, perhaps—or, he thought, never have been caught, if he hadn’t trusted feeling rather wickedly self-indulgent, not the wrong people. I wonder, he thought with even bothering to find out how long before he the familiar bit of bitterness, if he knew the had to take his shift, the hair of the dog that same people I did… Another thing in common. bit him. The person for that was, undoubt- Plus, Vila’s Dome born and bred, he knows edly, none other than Vila himself. His cur- precisely where we both stand, without a rent bedmate. That had…something to it. Not word needing to be said. All of it tacit, but true familiarity, but perhaps… He could, he con- nonetheless, with no messy disagreements ceded, do worse. At least with Vila, there or expectations… would be sex—and lots of it—without most of “Well?” Vila was saying, and Avon was the complications that came part and parcel brought back to himself, suddenly hoping the with the others. Then there was the fact that fool would tell him what had been said whilst Vila was willing, or had been the previous he’d been off wool-gathering with the able night before Avon had humiliated himself by assistance of hangover pills and the after- being no better than Blake. It would be quite effects of the alcohol, which was hanging delicious, really, such poetic justice if, by way around in his bloodstream, as useful as a of his proving that last night’s incompetence gigolo at a wedding. Or a rebel leader who fell had been mere fluke, he were to begin by asleep the one and only time you didn’t want indulging himself with someone Blake was so him to. But then, if considering how limited damned sure was completely loyal—not to his mental capacities were right at the mo- the Cause, not even Blake was capable of ment, he wasn’t going to waste them on such self-delusion, but to Blake himself, as a thinking about a man he couldn’t decide if he person. As someone who listened to Vila, loved or hated—or merely loved hating. He someone who treated Vila with equality—or 81 ▼▼▼ refused to entertain the idea that it might be at least that’s what Blake thought Vila thought. more a case of him hating loving Blake—that Now where did he know that from? Surely not just did not bear thinking about. If he had last night? Surely he hadn’t been trying to thought that being fucked by Blake would seduce Blake only to have Blake keep on cause repercussions, loving the man brought about the Cause? Surely not… But then, his difficulties beyond measure. But then, of memory prodded him, replaying, albeit de- course, it could be as simple as pure lust fed cidedly fuzzily, all the images warped and by a rather enticingly big frame and genitalia wefted, the scenario of the night before. When of dimensions wondrously large, but if that he’d been sozzled enough to try to seduce were the case—and Vila was talking at him Blake and Blake had been too sozzled to again. notice. Oh well, he said to himself with a He really must do something about this cheerful relief, Blake’s ignorance a consider- odd in-and-out of focus sensation, something ably comforting thought, we must be grateful to countermand these strange instructions for small mercies. Not that Blake could be that seemed to be coming from some peculiar described as small. Really, being on this ship part of his brain where the pain killing effect was enough to give a man an inferiority of the pills wasn’t needed, but some kind of complex. Or at least make him profoundly sobriety was. Just how much had he con- grateful that there were neither shared toilets sumed last night? By the way his brain wasn’t nor communal showers. functioning, probably more in one night than Vila was still talking at him, all animated he had in his entire life before. But it was and pink and quite, quite naked, Avon noted rather pleasant, in an undisciplined, irre- with interest. By Vila’s own admission, he sponsible, totally un-Alpha way. Very pleas- had been quite willing to let Avon fuck him ant… last night. And there was an interesting But he needed something to get his tongue thought. Of course, Avon knew perfectly well

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

that he could simply pin on a face of complete that the lips were moving, but too lazy to outrage and storm out of here—always sup- listen to the words. He could definitely do posing he could find wherever his clothes worse than Vila, couldn’t he? Rationally, he were—and that Vila would let him go. Oh, so decided, was the only way to approach a the idiot would complain and snipe at him, relationship. If he were to get up and walk out but that was half the fun of their relationship. of here, what were the benefits? It would Relationship? When the hell had he coined make it obvious that he had been too drunk that particular phrase? Absolutely ages ago, the night before to know what he’d been doing he realised, but usually he had the good or where he’d been doing it. Hardly an ad- sense to ignore it completely. Relationship. vantage, was it? So… He wouldn’t get in- Friendship. With Vila. In vino veritas, they said. volved. With whom? he shot back at himself. He’d prefer lies, himself. Quite frequently did, His sorry behaviour made it embarrassingly in fact, it being safer to lie about caring than obvious that he was ripe for the picking, and to admit it to himself when true and safest if he weren’t careful, he’d end up doing still to lie to others. But Vila? something he really regretted. Such as trying And why not? He was bright, if ill-educated; to embezzle enough money to persuade Anna articulate, if one could unravel the maze of to leave her husband and come to live with words; sensual and sensuous, if one could him. And far from making them rich enough keep Vila’s mouth shut long enough to bed that they could move so far away that not him; willing and obviously able. And best of even Councillor Chesku and his cronies could all, he wasn’t Blake. If Blake, sobering up the hurt them, he’d got her killed. Nastily… But morning after, were to realise what the hell if he were to walk from here, it could very well Avon had been trying to do the night before, be right into Blake’s arms. Which would be a then Avon didn’t think very highly of his nightmare. He’d never retain his independence chances of making Blake take him seriously. if it were Blake he was fighting. But Vila, now, 82 Look, for example, at the way he started Vila… Vila would happily let Avon lead, would ▼▼▼ treating Jenna the day he realised just how happily accept Avon’s strictures and struc- much she wanted him. And the same thing tures for the relationship. And he’d be willing with Cally, when he’d discovered that Cally to accept sex without ties, without any of wouldn’t exactly be averse to a little dalliance those awkward emotional entanglements that with her hero, their Fearless Leader. No, Avon always ended up being tied at the other end didn’t much fancy the reception he would get, to nothing but pain and grief. nor the viciousness of the battles that would All right, he thought, so we’ve established follow. Despite appearances to the contrary, that the only benefit to leaving Vila is that I he didn’t want to end up killing Blake. Not by could salvage some of my pride, but only on a long chalk. a short term basis, until Blake noticed—or But if he were to show up with Vila on his remembered—how terribly, frighteningly at- arm, after spending the night in his cabin, tracted I am to him. And the advantages? Sex, with the door very firmly locked, no less… obviously. Vila staring at me with adoration Well, he hoped the door had been locked. He and admiration—this latter reason being the wasn’t sure of the time, but judging by how direct result of Avon’s complete lack of false hungry he was, it had to be morning, and modesty. Vila’s sarcasm and comments, the quite late at that. Which meant that the brightness of his personality. And Blake be- others probably knew. It was impossible to ing convinced that if I’m with Vila, then keep secrets on this ship: he knew, for he’d anything he thought he remembered from tried. If one of the humans—or Auronae— last night was nothing more than the booze didn’t find you out, then one of the machines talking. And sex. There’d be so much sex, he did. And for an inanimate object, Zen was thought, eyes going dreamy, as his body inordinately fond of gossip. But if he were began to wake up, to recognise that it was with Vila… morning, his cock filling, his balls growing He stared at Vila quite closely, noticing heavy with expectancy.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▼▼▼▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Vila,” he said, breaking in to what Vila was But before he could grab the fact, his quite proudly considering a masterpiece in mouth was full of Vila and there were hands the fine art of sarcasm, “shut up.” touching him with an exquisite expertise that “Shut up? Shut up, he says. I’ll shut you quite took his breath away—which was no up, you Alpha prick. You can just get out—” mean feat, considering that Vila was sucking “But,” Avon said, rather to his own surprise, him dry. But in the wrong place. “Stop that, not having expected to take the bull by the stupid,” he said, pulling back with some horns—or single, rather large horn, in Vila’s difficulty and more than a bit of mutual case—in such an obvious and unsubtle reluctance, “don’t waste all your energy on manner, “I haven’t even been in yet.” And his my mouth. There’s another part of me,” and hand touched Vila in a way that would have his hand took Vila’s, his cock filling Vila’s done the proverbial picture proud. palm, “that would appreciate it even more.” “You’ve got a cheek—” He put his hand on the back of Vila’s neck, “I’ve got two, actually,” Avon said, very pushing him downwards, lower and lower, so cheekily indeed, hands cupping the twin slowly, drawing out the anticipation, until he cheeks of Vila’s arse. “And they really are could hear Vila’s sigh and feel the soughing quite nice.” delicacy of Vila’s breath on his cock. Then, “Get your hands off, you—” shockingly, he was engulfed, sucked into a “It’s not my hands I’m interested in getting throat that was swallowing him all the way, off,” he murmured wickedly, his hands doing Vila’s face buried in his groin, so warmly. He wonderful things to Vila’s rump, thoroughly was clutching at Vila, holding him so tightly, enjoying this unsophisticated, unvarnished squirming with delight and the spiralling build-up to sex. sweetness of lust. Vila shrugged him off, “Well, you can just look elsewhere—” pulling back to suckle the tip of his cock, “Why, when the view here is so attractive?” licking at him, nibbling him, sliding foreskin That stunned Vila, actually succeeding in back and forth in taut pleasure. Then he was 83 ▼▼▼ doing what that worthy’s mother had always being sucked again, and he didn’t care that declared impossible—knocking him speech- he was muttering Vila’s name over and over, less. Avon grinned at him, rather pleased that didn’t care that he was showing more vul- he had hit on the right thing to say at the right nerability to this man than he had shown time, despite the fact that his head felt as if it even his Anna. Didn’t care about anything, were stuffed with grey cotton wool. It was save the indescribable pleasure Vila was worth it, really, to pay him compliments, giving him. His back was arching, his balls when the result was this endearing little coiling up tight to his cock, the ecstasy smile and the rosy flush of cheeks—and best climbing up his spine, taking him higher and of all, the sudden pulse of interest in the cock higher and higher and all he could feel was that Vila was busy pressing into Avon’s belly. Vila sucking him and Vila’s hands on his “D’you mean that?” Vila asked, making it nipples and squeezing his flesh. Then his own obvious that if the answer weren’t ‘yes’, then voice went hoarse, rasping out Vila’s name as the question had abruptly become rhetorical. a finger probed him, pressing inside him, “When have I ever lied, Vila?” he purred, finding his prostate, pressing home and stroking some of the wonderfully interesting sending him sky-rocketing over the edge. His bits that were within reach, smiling as he fingers tangled in the softness of thinning discovered the fascinating fact that if he brown hair, tugging at it with the convulsions stroked just here, just so, then Vila’s cock of his pleasure. He felt his seed shoot from pressed into him, just here and just so. him into the furrow of Vila’s throat, felt Vila Perfect, in its own way, all that engorging swallow, swallow him down, taking him in to flesh hardening engrossingly. In fact, he was be part of Vila and then… so engrossed in it that he almost missed Vila’s Slowly, slowly coming down, aware at last answer. of the gentle strokings of his own hand on the “Not half as often as I’ve done.” hypersensitivity of his cock. And of the chilling

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ IN ▼INO ▼ERITAS ▼▼▼▼▼ CALLY DONIA ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

silence from his bedmate. Vila was sitting up but the saying is,” and he smiled, letting all on his knees, cock a rampant sentinel rising his charm and affection and reciprocal desire up from between his thighs as if to guard the show, throwing Blake and repercussions out softness of the belly. Hard cock, tremors of the window with a fine disregard for reality, “if tightly-packed desire, but fear, oh such fear at first you don’t succeed—” and such pain in those eyes. And would I have “Then,” said Vila, and Avon smiled as his ended up looking at Blake like that, Avon favourite idiot bounced across the bed towards thought. Would I have ended up feeling as if him and sighed as Avon wrapped him in his I were nothing more than an acolyte at an arms and let him begin to thrust them to- altar or a pathetic worshipper at the feet of the gether, beginning the rebuilding of lust, “try, big, straight man? try again.” “What about me?” Vila was asking, cock And they did, even though they got it right weeping whilst his eyes stayed dry. “What on the first attempt. And later, much, much about me?” later, when he finally awoke in a room that “Well now, you are only a Delta,” Avon was redolent with their spent passion, Avon began, seeing as every word hammered into realised that he not only knew what he had Vila like a nail, whilst a part of him regarded done, but that he was absolutely positive that this much power with curiosity. “And one he should have. shouldn’t expect a mere Delta to know this,

84 ▼▼▼

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▼▼▼▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼F INEM RESPICE ▼ Look to the end. Sound advice for anyone ▼ ▼ about to take an irreversible step. The stories ▼ in this section take place after Orbit, close to ▼ ▼ the final doom of Gauda Prime. And Dream- ▼ ▼ ing, Awake speculates that a single action or ▼ ▼ response might have avoided the inevitability ▼ ▼ of G.P. Caveat Emptor, however, considers ▼ venery in a most appropriate setting with Avon ▼ ▼ aware of what his choice to commit to Blake ▼ ▼ will bring… ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ EMMA SCOT ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

N HIS BED HE LAY, A BIER OF PIL- Bartolomew. 85 ▼O ▼▼▼ lows and cushions and great billowing ha- He saw the name echo in Vila’s eyes as he vens of silk, colours blended and merging had seen the word Dayna had given him exquisitely to do shame to the rainbow that written there, and then the old loving was spawned them. For himself, of course, there back, the old feelings, no longer merely akin was only black, the union of every hue that to what had once been, but there in full could be, commingled into a shroud for him measure. Life, fluttering, stirred in his heart alone. and his blood beat, once, twice, slowly, But the door opened and his mausoleum sluggishly, the reluctance of the mind was breached, light and life breathing in to shackling the body to its will. But Vila saw, of touch him. He could see it, as he lay there, course, would always see the slightest breath staring up at the other, the word Dayna had of warmth in him, would answer it, would fan spoken written in brown eyes that had known it, fuel it and yes! Vila was there. Vila was with him far longer and far better than he had ever him, had come back to him… known himself. The comfort of ages was gone A smile there was, all he had left in him now from those brown eyes, now, but for the to give to Vila, this smile that betokened a love moment, for this instant, the brightness was of which he had never spoken. For how could back and Vila gazed down upon him with he speak, when he knew nothing of it himself? something akin to the old love he had grown Oh, yes, he so quick to see love in others, he so very accustomed to seeing. Akin, yes, that so quick to see that fiery weakness when was the word. Akin. They were family, now, in others succumbed to it for him, but always as a way, in a sense, where all other bonds and slow as the dead to see it in himself. Long it ties had withered or been hacked by butcher’s had slumbered in him, the lazy comfort of a knives. Or ripped out by the roots, poison to summer cat, only to stretch itself too late. make the roots writhe inside him, as Anna Too, too late… had been. But Vila, ah, dear Vila, was approaching

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▼▼▼▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

him, not walking away as he had been doing A dream. Nothing more, just a dream. But a these weeks past. And coming to him, drop- dream that had left him wet with sweat and ping to his knee, either supplicant before his own cum and drenched with fear. To need King or lover before man, it mattered not to like that, to be so desperate… And yet, there Avon. Hands of knotted vein and work-worn had been no desperation in the dream, never sinew, their very strength their greatest was, it was only in the awakening. The beauty, were unfastening his clothes. Or awakening which was worse every time, rip- rather, were unfastening his trousers, part- ping him open to display secrets he had no ing the grimness of mourning to unveil the wish to see. Corpses should stay decently pinkness of life underneath. Then the mouth buried, where they belonged, to rot in silence was upon him, warm breath, warm tongue, and not torment him. warm, warm, warm… And Vila, all of it Vila, Torment? Ah, that brought a bitter smile to as it had been of old, before… Pleasure was lips. Torment was in being wide awake and building, slow and sweet, centred in him, coming across Vila suddenly, in a corridor or centring him as nothing had, this time past. in a room quiet as the tomb this base was Tongue moving upon him as his own flesh becoming. Torment, now that was no secret. moved, lengthening, hardening, stealing all That was the look in Vila’s eyes, eyes that had the blood away from his brain until he was ‘monster’ written in them now where only dizzy and without thought, all of him nothing beauty had been before. Torment was the more than that core of pleasure that gave him sickening moment when Vila twisted away life and his bringer of hope. All he was, was from his touch, face contorting in revulsion flesh and Vila, the two inseparable, entwined, and fear. the perfect delight of his body encapsulated Torment was finally discovering that he by the perfect pressure of Vila’s mouth. He was, indeed, still capable of love, but discov- was being moulded, formed anew, into what ering it so soon after all love for him in this 86 he had once been, if only in Vila’s dreams. He Galaxy had been extinguished. He laughed ▼▼▼ could feel the hero in him rise, could feel out loud at that, mocking both the Fates and compassion and amity and love coil together himself, cocking a snoot at the unendurable to weave a halyard that would keep them and shouldering the burden with laughter both safe. Vila, and himself. Together, safe, that turned to a snarl. He sat on the edge of always safe… His pleasure began pounding his clammy bed, staring balefully at the through him, reminding him that he was a bathroom door, for no reason other than the body and mind in entirety, not merely the fact that it was there and God or Whomever hardened flesh that Vila slaked his thirst or Whatever was not. He was looking forward upon. And then he was pouring himself out to dying. He wanted to have words with through his body and into Vila, his seed the whatever sick mind had sent him this quenching of Vila’s own thirst, the blending of godforsaken life of his… But that made him the two of them into one, into safety, into laugh all the more. For there was nothing, safety… after death, as there was nothing in life. He Vila rose to his feet again, with that grace had his proof: not one of them had ever come he so rarely allowed the others to see, lest they back to haunt him, and if ever a man were see through the rest of his disguises and see ripe for the haunting, it was he. But not one. the willow-strong core that was stronger than Not a single one, so there it was, proof, fair the steel Avon could muster. And Avon saw it and square. Lifeless dark, or lifeless light, written in his eyes again, that word Dayna that was all there was, and the decay of the had given him… body. Beautiful. “Rather like life on Xenon Base,” he mur- You are so beautiful… mured to himself, as he was prone to these Without warning he jackknifed awake, days. None of the others seemed to hear him sweat dripping and pooling down his spine, now, giving him only carefully blank glances, clumsy children clattering down a staircase. saving the concern for when he wasn’t there

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▼▼▼▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ to hear it. If it were ever said, if there were any when one sat in the built-in niche, where the concern there at all. If he were they, he water flowed from above at precisely the right wouldn’t waste an ounce of energy on sympa- height, the temperature pre-set to perfection. thy for Avon. What was that old saying? Ah, Pity about the shampoo, though, he thought, yes. Sympathy for the devil. Well, he was no hurriedly wiping his stinging eyes, must buy devil. After all, who needed devils when one some that I’m not allergic to, when next we had a God as wickedly vicious as the one who stop… had governed his life? All the hard-edged His fingers stilled, holding the flannel tight brilliance gone from him, the mask discarded against eyes that suddenly didn’t want to when he came through the door which kept open, that suddenly preferred this fuzzy all the others out, he meandered into the darkness to the bright clarity of his percep- bathroom to wash away the evident sign of tion. The next planet they stopped at would weakness. He had no need of such reminders probably be the place where Vila left him. as was drying on his belly, sticky and smelly, Ironic, that, the notion of Vila leaving him, of filling his nose with the musk of sex—and the Vila staying behind on some planet when the mustiness of memory. The cleanliness of thief had mewled so many times in fear of soap wiped away all traces of his spent seed, being left behind, of being abandoned. Well taking with it the remembrances of times now, the boot was certainly on the other foot, with Vila, when there had been Vila’s cum wasn’t it? To think of Vila, weak-kneed, drying on him from passion they had shared. snivelling Vila leaving him, striding off into Or when it had been his own cum on him, the unknown on some planet or other from when he had allowed Vila to fuck him. was…preposterous. The idiot couldn’t leave, Allowed? Ruthless honesty mocked that, he thought to himself consolingly, not even selecting ‘begged’ as a better choice of words. recognising the thought for the teddy-bear Funny, really, that out of all the people he had clutching it actually was. No, Vila could never met, out of all the people he had fucked, that leave: after all, hadn’t the fool himself always 87 ▼▼▼ it should have been Vila he had chosen to be said that he had nowhere else to go? fucked by. Only Vila, never anyone else. That But that had been when Blake was still really should have told him something, he with them, when things were, in retrospect, conceded, pouring shampoo into the pool of not nearly as dreadful as they might have his hands, smoothing the sweet smell into his been. Nor nearly so dreadful as they had hair, washing away a grime that was felt but become. Then, there had been amity between did not exist. Yes, it really should have told himself and Vila, the illusion, if nothing else, him something, but then, that would have of affection. Albeit that all the affection had meant admitting to love and that would never come from Vila to himself, and none of it have done, would it now? After all, were he to flowing back in reciprocity. Well, what could have done that, then the Universe would the little fool expect, with Blake constantly on never have been able to have its little chortle his back, with Life constantly queering his at his expense, now would it? Whom the gods pitch? It was hardly his fault that Vila had mock, and all that. unreasonable expectations, was it now? He raised his face to protect his eyes from But the words failed in their reassurance, the suds that were rinsing from his hair, a pebbles under the boulders that were the cascade of foamy whiteness sliding down his burden he carried from that unfortunate back to linger, as brief as a kiss, in the incident over Malodaar. Now there was dimples that graced the small of his back, just something that no-one in their right mind above the swell of his buttocks. One of the could blame him for, which he supposed great luxuries of this base, he conceded explained perfectly and succinctly why Vila absently, was the bath in what had been was behaving so absurdly. To hate him for Dorian’s private quarters. Moulded of some one small instance of obeying the laws of material that had the beauty of marble but Nature. Survival of the fittest, nothing more, held warmth like flesh, yielding comfortably nothing less, that’s all that was. Survival of

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▼▼▼▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

the fittest. Not his fault, most definitely not than casual relief for himself. If only the idiot his fault. If Tarrant and Soolin had bothered had told him, he’d have… to put a bit of effort in, Servalan would have Laughed, he thought ruefully, sinking be- come as no surprise. He would have known low the surface of the water, the fragrance of in advance, could have outfoxed her, hood- cedar and sandalwood seeping into him. winked Egrorian and come back with not There were no two ways about it, he’d have only the Tachyon Funnel, but with Servalan’s laughed, then chased Vila for his life. Not that head on a platter. anyone could have blamed him, of course. He could just imagine Tarrant’s face, if he’d After all, it would have been the height of done that. What a very satisfying picture, he stupidity to fall into that particular trap of thought, leaning back into the succulent emotionalism, considering they were being heat of the bath, sighing as some of the ever- chased hither and thither over the Galaxy by increasing tension unravelled itself from his foes too numerous to mention. Although muscles. Oh, yes, Tarrant’s face would have Servalan did rather spring to mind. No, who been worth a thousand words—he must tell could possibly take him to task for staying Vila, make him laugh at the thought of his true to form and being sensible and smart nemesis sagging in heart-broken grief at the and altogether in control of himself. Pity, he sight of his lover’s head… considered, that the Universe—and Vila— Perhaps it wasn’t such a pleasant thought hadn’t been so restrained. But then again, he after all. Wouldn’t do to give Vila ideas, thought as he watched the water sliding wouldn’t do at all. And he was no longer so down his body to puddle at his feet, droplets sure of his position with his thief as once he clinging here and there to catch the shimmer had been. Not sure at all. There was, he of light only to fade as the heater dried him off, confessed, a reason why he’d taken to both he wasn’t so sure that he would have wanted sleeping with multiple alarm systems on and to have done without seeing that soft expres- 88 to leaving enough wine lying around the base sion in Vila’s eyes at the end of some par- ▼▼▼ to incapacitate the average elephant—or in- ticularly mindless mission. Wouldn’t have ebriate a certain hollow-legged thief of his wanted to do without Vila’s silent acceptance acquaintance. Involuntarily, he smiled at and tacit affection waiting for him to cuddle that, remembering the night he and Vila had into, to take the sting of the day away. had sex for the first time. Drunken excess Wouldn’t have wanted to do without the was such an effective excuse for an Alpha, so spectacular sex. convenient in fact that it had been he to Wouldn’t have wanted to do without Vila. suggest a drinking contest between the two of As he was having to learn to do… Life, as the them, never for one second in doubt as to old saying went, was a bed of roses: full of which one of them would win. Him, of course. thorns and liberally coated with manure. By Oh, Vila would consume far more alcohol, the time he had his face as smooth as he but with barriers lowered, with excuses co- preferred, it was scowling at him from the piously provided, Avon had had his chance to mirror, reflecting back at him his own sense try the thief without getting into anything of put-uponness and displeasure with the that could later prove awkward. Universe in general and his own life in par- Not that it had been. Vila’s idea of de- ticular. manding had been to have more sex more “Oh, fuck,” he said to himself, becoming often, and that was the kind of demand Avon more annoyed when venting an expletive could live with quite comfortably. Preferably helped not one jot. “Fuck it all to hell.” when it was, as it had been, with nary a string Except, as he had decided when still very, attached. Well, none visible, anyway. None very small, there was nothing worse than the that he had seen until it was all far too late. world in which he lived, which made Hell Typically bloody stupid of Vila, though, to let completely redundant. Rather like the con- things go on like that, never really—not really, cept of God. Rather like the concept of a not irrefutably—letting on that it was more Universe that went out of its way to make life

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▼▼▼▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ difficult for him. Rather like feeling sorry for to be losing their tender youthfulness with himself and trying to shove the responsibility appalling rapidity. It was the grinding reality off on to someone—anyone—else. His face that was doing that, the failures, the near- like thunder, he dried his hair, taking great misses, the losses, the…everything. All of it. pains to make sure that every curl was Endless. Never ceasing, never-ending, never expurgated and every hint of waviness properly changing. On and on forever. subdued. Pity he couldn’t do that with the And now he didn’t even have Vila to ease other rebelliousnesses of his life. But re- the corroding erosion of it. He had never for a gardless, he thought at his reflection, there’s minute thought he would miss the idiot, not no point in trying to pretend, is there? There like this. Certainly not that time with—what is no God, there is no Higher Being, there is was her name? the brainless blonde that had no anima of the Universe. There is only me been with Bayban, the one who had been and what I have done myself. stupid enough to let Vila go—her, when he And who, in all honesty, can blame Vila for had given Vila the option of going with her. this horrid silence? What else can I expect Well, he sighed, closing the last closure, from him? I can hardly complain, can I, if I beginning the slow task of pulling on his stop to think what I would have done to him, boots, it seems that she is not the only stupid had our positions been reversed. Had our one when it comes to Vila. Perhaps his stu- positions been reversed… It would never pidity is contagious. Would explain a lot, have occurred to him to approach the entire wouldn’t it now? But not, perhaps, enough. débâcle as anything other than a team effort. Not enough to explain why, when they’d got More fool him, his own eyes reflected back back to Scorpio, he had done nothing to re- at him. More fool him. And it was true. He still assure his thief, done nothing to soothe the didn’t see that there was much else he could sting. Done nothing to keep Vila at his side, have done, given the circumstances, given on his side. Nothing but incendiary com- the man he had become. Not much else at all, ments, designed to hurt, to keep Vila in his 89 ▼▼▼ really. Given life as we know it… He turned ‘place’, to remind him who was leader here away from himself, with his knowing eyes, and who needed whom. the mirror showing nothing now but the Unfortunate, at the least, that he had been stiffness of his back, of muscles knotted once wrong about that, wasn’t it? It seemed to him, more, so short a time after the soothing as he put his teleport bracelet on, as he put relaxation of his bath. Wardrobe door flung his computerpad in his pocket, that it was open, he stared at his clothes, at the things he Vila who didn’t need him, not the other way had replaced after the loss of the Liberator around. His face was grimly blank as he made and those things he either had not or could the bed, stripping off the sheet that bore the not. Vila had always liked the red leather suit, guilty imprint of his dream. Fresh sheets said that it ‘did things’ to him, which was were tugged tightly into place, smoothed Avon’s cue to ask him what things and have until they looked as if they had never been Vila take his hand and display it for him. used, as if the bed were straight from the Involuntarily, Avon’s fingers curled, hand shop, as if he had never slept in it. As if he had remembering the shape of Vila, remembering never shared it with Vila. If this bed could what it was like to cup that hot length, to talk, he thought wryly, if this bed could only cradle the engorging hardness, to feel… talk… Viciously, he hauled out a suit that was It would tell me of times I want back. And new, that had nothing to do with anything bar it would tell me that I am an absolute idiot the necessity of keeping warm and making with only myself to blame. All it would have both Dayna and Tarrant keep their paws to taken is the right kind of sarcastic comment, themselves. He had always liked to touch, the right words said at the right time, and Vila but on his own terms and only those people would never have turned so bitter and sour he chose to. None of this indiscriminate towards me. It would have taken so little, so lusting of youth, although both of them seemed very little, Vila not being one for protestations

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▼▼▼▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

of undying devotion. Well, not being one for had been…almost easy to let in behind his expecting such inanities. But, he conceded, barriers. Not that he’d had much choice, and now when it made no difference, now, when even that hadn’t rankled as much as it ought, it could hold no power over him, the sentiments all the prickly pride soothed by her warmth might be inanities, but they were not lies. Had and acceptance of him for what he was. not been so for a very long time. How long he Rather as Vila always had. Until the incident couldn’t say: he had refused to recognise the over Malodaar, of course. signs in himself, so by the time the facts had Fool. How else should he expect Vila, of all jumped up and bitten him, it was too late to people, to react? Oh, so they neither one of say ah, this was when it happened, this was them had ever bothered with words, although when lust changed to… their reasons had been diametrically differ- Too late. He had already thought it and it ent. But it was one thing for Vila to accept his sat in his mind, as indigestible as coolant in place in Avon’s bed as a substitute for a place the stomach and just as appealing. And just in Avon’s heart, it was quite another to accept as familiar. It was, he couldn’t deny, getting having Avon come after him with a gun. easier to think that word in connection with I should never have used that tone of voice, himself and Vila. In connections with his really, he admitted, reshuffling the flimsies, feelings for Vila. In connection with something changing his mind about where the chip other than the disaster that had been should go, rearranging his styli. Salt in the Bartolomew. Yes, the thought balm to him as wound—or adding insult to injury, as Vila he reorganised the top of his desk, putting said, to come after him like that, sounding for flimsies in their shallow pigeonhole, as he all the world as if we were simply playing one placed the chip that wanted mended in its of our little games and I the ardent suitor. clear case, it definitely was easier to think of Unnecessarily cruel, and for that alone I her only as Bartolomew, for then he didn’t ought to apologise. 90 have to remember any of his foolishness, any But there was the rub, wasn’t it? To ▼▼▼ of his silly romanticism with Anna. Or any of apologise would display so much more than the pain that still clung to him like meat on a mere words. It was only polite to apologise, bone. Still, he almost chuckled, black humour the sign of the well-bred and the well brought being an old friend of his, that was the one up, and he was nothing if not both of those. good thing about this situation with Vila: it But it was hardly manners that were urging relegated Anna to a grief of the past, instead him to say that he was sorry. It was misery of an ever nagging ache. And, now that he was that was doing that. Misery, and the loneli- willing to dare risk thinking of it, whilst he ness that was driving him back to sleeping was awake with all his defences in place draughts and sticky beds, waking up with his against what she had done, it occurred to him chest aching from the effort to finally fall that perhaps he hadn’t been quite as romantic asleep and to manage it without the ignobility and foolish as he had always squirmed at. of tears. Stupid, really, for a man of his age, After all, it had always been Anna trying to and something so much more appropriate for winkle declarations out of him, hadn’t it? Not a spotty teen of the Gamma levels, with their that she’d been overly successful in that field, emotionalism and lack of propriety. But still… reticence being so much a part of him that he Apologise. He really ought to. Really should. noticed it no more than breathing. In fact, were he to apologise, were he willing Until, of course, it became as much a to lay it all out before Vila as if it were a bloody hindrance as breathing could sometimes be. picnic, then perhaps… Cally… Even the Wonderboy thought he knew Hope stole through him, bringing the frown how much Avon missed Cally, but then, back to his face and the tremor to his hands. Tarrant always had been a complete and total Meticulously, ignoring the all-too apparent idiot in a way that Vila never could be. Oh, signs of his own nervousness, he re-ordered yes, he couldn’t hide that he missed Cally, his tools, checking them for cleanliness, but he could certainly hide the degree. She making sure that there were no flaws that

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▼▼▼▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ could backfire on him. Pity, he thought, that for him the hiding away of his feelings, the he couldn’t check life like that, wasn’t it? It denial of needing someone, the need for would be so pleasantly reassuring to be able comfort… And how many times did I go to him to examine an action before taking it and for the very things I most loudly declaimed I know—with certainty—whether or not it was didn’t need? So much for not lying. I may not going to glean the desired re-action. Not that have lied to others, but truth and I are there was much chance of such predictabil- obviously perfect strangers. Well, I’m perfect ity, not now, not with Vila giving him nothing and I’ve certainly become rather strange, but fish-eyed stares of hostility and hurt. But with is going to surprise no-one at all, least of an apology… One thing that could, possibly, all myself. All right, so least of all Vila. Poor be depended upon, was Vila’s sentimentality. fool, he must wonder what on earth he let If he were to give Vila some assurances that himself in for when he joined with me. When he would never do such a thing again, that he he came into my bed for the first time. would never… But then, now was hardly the The memory ambushed him, cutting him time to start lying, was it? Oh, he had misled off at the knees, making him collapse on the and neglected to mention the occasional flawless neatness of his bed. The first time… salient detail, but lying was not something he Of course, it hadn’t been the first time they’d did. Not even, usually, to enemies. had sex, not by any stretch of the imagina- And remembering the way Vila had been tion, Vila’s bed and several sofas, walls and looking at him, he was no longer quite certain floors silent witnesses to that. But the first that Vila was not in that category. He shivered time he had ever actually invited Vila to share then, as he began the long tally in his mind of his bed, to allow him into Avon’s personal friends who had become enemies and more sanctum, to spend the entire night with chilling by half, the list of those enemies with him… Vila had been so ecstatic at the time, whom he was really quite friendly, in a warped bursting with happiness, gutter tongue kind of way. Not a happy thought, to realise promising Avon delights wonderful enough 91 ▼▼▼ that one gets along better with one’s enemies to make him hard at nothing more than a sere than with one’s friends. Friend, he corrected replay of the words. It had been quite a night, with sudden blunt honesty. And perhaps no enough to make him smile even almost four longer that. Certainly no longer lover. years later. Quite a night indeed… And there But he never had been, had he? I never was little chance of him having another night allowed him to presume to that title, insisting like it, if he didn’t stop sitting here like his that be reserved for others, and no doubt he dotty old aunt and get out there and apologise. thought I meant his betters. When all I meant A burst of energy, and he was on his feet, was that I didn’t dare give him that name, for face grim, chin thrust forward in determina- if I did, then it was only a matter of time before tion, an admirably resolute glint in his eyes. I would have to confess my feelings to myself Yet, hand raised to open the door, he paused, or watch him walk away from me or die. And the fear of making himself so terribly vul- usually the first precipitated the latter… He nerable stopping him. He was going to lay so was, he knew thoroughly, prevaricating. He much of himself bare to Vila, just by coming had known from the second he had woken after him, just by saying sorry and will you from that dream what he had to do, and all he come back to me please. I need you, he was doing now was postponing the moment, whispered, as if to practise. I need you so being the coward he had always accused Vila terribly much, Vila. I’m lonely without you of being. Putting it off, as if that would make and… it go away. Which was so incredibly stupid He gulped, facing something he hadn’t that one would expect it of Vila, not himself. wanted to know. Which was also a lie. One thing that no-one …I feel lost. Everything seems to be slip- could accuse Vila of was emotional coward- ping away from me and there’s nowhere for ice. The little fool had always worn his heart me to turn. Everywhere I look, I see Death on his sleeve for everyone to see it bleed. Not waiting for me. My death, yours, Dayna’s,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▼▼▼▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

even Blake’s… And it frightens me, Vila. It Bring him home, then apologise. As soon terrifies me until I wake up shaking and as I find the little idiot. Ah. There, light from reaching for you. Do you know how horrid it the kitchen and at this time, it’s unlikely to be is to wake up alone, when you’ve seen yourself anyone but Vila. Despite the best of his die? But then, you were on that shuttle. You intentions, his expression was warm and will have nightmares of your own. Will you let hopeful, the tired lines softened by the an- me take them away for you? I could get rid of ticipation of having Vila back. He opened the them for you, erase them, give you happier door and the glaring light startled him for a things to dream of, if you’ll be there when I moment, his face going utterly and abruptly waken in the night. blank. Stupid of me not to have heard Tarrant’s To say all that… The thought both ex- voice as I came along the corridor, he thought, hilarated and terrified him. To say all that, liking not at all what he was seeing. Vila, at and the only words he would have to actually the table, slumped as always, but over tea, speak would be the simplicity of ‘sorry’. All of not soma, Tarrant at his side, unendurably that, encapsulated in one word. Vila would somber and ostentatiously mature. Perhaps understand, Vila had always understood his the Wonderboy was growing up after all. verbal shorthand. For that matter, Vila had “Vila,” he said into the brittle silence, “I probably understood better than he had need to speak to you. In my room.” himself when he had let Vila fuck him. Yes. He had not been prepared for such a face- Vila would understand, as always. All he had twisting hostility. Nor silence. Vila—not saying to do was actually go after him, and say it. anything? How terribly strange, he thought, That was all. Just lay his soul bare and hand not yet got beyond the moment. it to Vila on a silver platter. He almost laughed “Now, Vila,” he added, in case Vila hadn’t at that. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea at heard him, hadn’t understood how impor- that: silver platters were valuable and Vila the tant this was. 92 magpie would at least want the platter if not Tarrant looked up from his tea, butting in ▼▼▼ what it held. where Avon thought he had no right. “That He opened the door, taking a subtly calming may be what you need, but I doubt it’s what breath, not an ounce of his turmoil showing Vila needs.” on his blank face, his eyes the dark brown of “And I doubt that even Vila requires a silence. He wasn’t about to let his feelings be performing baboon to speak for him.” He seen. One thing for Vila to know, quite another hadn’t, for a second, taken his gaze from to have Soolin chuckle derisively or have Vila’s down-turned face, willing the other Tarrant clumsily trying to use his weakness man to pay attention, to stop being such a to dethrone him. Enough for Vila to know. fool. Didn’t Vila see what he was trying to do? Vila he could trust. Vila loved him, had loved Typical Vila, to make a simple thing so him from the start, never hiding it once they complicated. “Vila,” he began again, “I dislike were private. He would let Vila see, ask Vila to repeating myself. I need to speak to you. come back to his cabin with him, tell him Now.” there. Seduce him on the bright beauty of “It seems to me that Vila,” Tarrant said, Dorian’s rainbow bed, love him madly, sur- slowly rising to his feet, young buck chal- render his body to him, watch Vila’s face lenging the stag, “has made it perfectly clear transform in orgasm, hold him close and safe that he doesn’t need to talk to you. Good night, afterwards. And later, when they were both Avon.” limp with satisfaction, when neither one of “Vila?” he said again, this time differently, them could bear another second’s stimula- his own voice a stranger to him. tion, he would turn over, so that he could Vila turned away, turning to face the wall, have Vila wrapped around him, warm and cutting Avon off with the shrug of a shoulder. secure and keeping the horrors at bay. He Well. could sleep then, with Vila around him like Well indeed. that. He always had slept best like that… He became aware that Tarrant, at least—

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▼▼▼▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ and it was very much the least, in his opin- what the hell were they talking about, sitting ion—was looking at him, staring, in fact, with there like conspirators? Beware the Ides of something disturbingly akin to sympathy. As March? Is that what that was all about? Has if he wanted or needed pity! No, not him. No Vila—no, not Vila, never Vila, not Vila—has pity. Save that for the stupid fool sitting there Vila become my enemy, and all because I bristling with self-righteous outrage. So Vila chose survival instead of dying? Or has Vila wouldn’t even speak to him? So Vila thought found another way to keep his feet warm at he didn’t warrant so much as a single word? night? Is that it? Sex rearing its ugly head And Tarrant thought he warranted pity. again? Vila thinking with his gonads yet Now where would the fool get an idea like again, following the scent of some young body that? Back so stiff that his muscles ached, he that can get hard at the drop of a hat? Is that turned on his heel, volte-facing with a precision it? that was almost military, with a face as stony Has Tarrant taken my place? as the granite outside. Pity. He didn’t need His feet had taken him to the operation pity. centre, with its huge star charts glittering But he wouldn’t even look at me, after that away, all those temptingly distant destinations first second. Wouldn’t say a word. Wouldn’t just waiting for him. Soolin glanced at him, listen. What was I supposed to do—go down then turned away, going back to whatever it on bended knee and ask for absolution? Beg was that she had been doing, not that he his forgiveness? Plead with him? cared. Not that he cared about much, not Yes. Oh, yes, but how could he? How could now. As for Vila—well now, if the monolithic he ever abase himself like that? And in front moron thought that Tarrant was an able of Tarrant, of all people. Almost as bad as substitute, then more fool him. Let him have having to do it in front of Blake. He’d come Tarrant, if that were all Vila could aspire to. depressingly close to doing that, too, on more Let Tarrant slobber all over him, clumsy- than one occasion, catching that knowing handed, unskilled, inexperienced…young. 93 ▼▼▼ smirk in Blake’s eyes every time he had Handsome. Brimming over with potency, agreed to do something he hadn’t really wanted always ready, willing and able with the fire of to, for if he hadn’t, Blake would have Vila go youth to get it up and keep it up. Vila like down alone. How Blake had laughed at him being fucked, probably more than he liked behind his back for that! So how could he fucking, always had done. Tarrant would no possibly prostrate himself in front of Tarrant? doubt be able to keep him satisfied on that The upstart pup was impossible enough particular count. He glowered at the chart, already without adding any more fuel to the paying only the scantest attention to the fire. names and dots and lines in front of him. All But he didn’t even look at me, his mind he could see with any clarity was Vila, on his wailed, night-time’s loneliness harmonising back—his favourite position, so’s I c’n see your with all the sweetness of a banshee shrieking eyes, Avon—bent double under Tarrant, legs death. He didn’t even listen… He didn’t want up over Tarrant’s shoulders, body wide open me… while Tarrant fucked him hard, all that pent- As if I really wanted him, either. As if I really up energy of the young and illusioned, as needed him. Nothing wrong with me that opposed to the fine skill of the older and some rest wouldn’t help. Nothing at all. Ab- disillusioned. Vila’s face, as he came, eyes solutely nothing. Sleepless nights will do closing, mouth opening… And fuck him, he that, even to the best of us, blow everything didn’t need Vila, not at all. Tiredness that had up out of proportion, make the absurdest made him entertain his earlier foolishness, things seem reasonable. absurd to think that he needed a Delta thief Such as Vila sitting having tea with Tarrant with no manners and less education. And if at three in the morning, and neither one of Vila preferred brashness to sophistication, them batting an eyelash when I walked in, then so be it. What difference did it make to bathed and ready to face the day? And just Avon anyway who, after all, didn’t need Vila

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ AND DREAMING, AWAKE ▼▼▼▼▼ EMMA SCOT ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

at all? sharpening as his finger landed unexpect- Pity his thoughts didn’t ring true, even to edly upon a small blue dot with a smaller himself. name recorded beside it, the name famous— But he’d be damned if he’d let it be true any or infamous—the Galaxy over, a place that he more. Vila had made a fool of him, had remembered rather fondly. No. He wasn’t manipulated and manœuvered him and then going to relive those memories. None of it betrayed him. Just like everyone else. Just mattered anyway. All in the past. Water like Anna… under a bridge. Dead and buried and gone. Somewhere, out there, he thought, fingers The name was still there. Freedom City. tracing idle paths on the chart, Blake is living Home of the best gambling dens—no, he a life of utter luxury, lying low whilst I chase wasn’t going to think about that. He began around the galaxy being shot at, because he again. Home of the best brothels in or out of manœuvered me into this unenviable posi- the Federation. The best money could buy. tion. If this is what being leader of a Rebellion Yes, that should do the trick. Get Vila out of brings one to, then it’s hardly surprising that his system, along with all this bottled-up even Blake had the sense to get out of it. frustration. A proper rest, some excellent no- Leaving me stuck holding the bag, of course. strings sex, and he’d be back on his usual Bastard. He and Vila would make the perfect even keel. And that would show Tarrant and couple, wouldn’t they though? Perhaps I Vila both. should get them back together and then sit “Soolin,” he said, making sure that he back and watch Tarrant’s face. smiled charmingly, “we are going on a little Not that I care what goes on with Vila, not jaunt. Start getting Scorpio ready. I believe now that I’ve woken up properly from that it’s time for me to show you some of ridiculous dream. Preposterous what the the…pleasanter things this Galaxy has to subconscious comes up with when one is offer. We could all do with the beneficial 94 otherwise occupied. Me, loving Vila! How effects of some time away from here.” He ▼▼▼ silly. All I need is a proper rest. He leant smiled all the more sweetly, willing her to see forward, the firm leather of his trousers ca- nothing in him but normality. No pain, no ressing him, reminding him of how long it had loss, no bereavement. Nothing but an at- been since he’d had anything more substantial tractive man suggesting a pleasant holiday, than dreams and his own left hand. That was with the hint that she just might get to know probably from whence this whole embar- him far more intimately than she had before. rassing incident stemmed, he reassured He could see in her eyes that she believed himself. Nothing more than enforced absti- him. Good. He needed someone to believe nence turning me upside down, until I fancy him, for he knew perfectly well just how many myself in love with Vila. What I need, his gaze lies were living inside him.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CAVEAT EMPTOR M. FAE GLASGOW

▼ T HE NOISES WERE MUSIC TO HIS artifact it was, running it through the com- ears, a cacophony of harmonies, of tenors puter, eyebrows rising when she saw the and sopranos and basses, all commingling credit limit. Tremendously impressed, it was into a leitmotif that bespoke passion. All probably just as well for her fond dreams that around him, there were people, each one of she didn’t know anything about Orac and its them contributing their own sound, willingly ability to create false readings on her computer or not, every one of them part of the horde, screen. “Well, Mr. Strat—oops, sorry, almost even if they were ostentatiously alone. forgot. Not used to seeing one of these, you As he was. see. The thing is, though, that even though With his usual supercilious ease, he ap- you can have anything you want, I’ve got to let proached the desk, the queue melting away the attendants know which kind of customer in front of him, as it had done all his life. you’re going to be, you see. Legal action,” she Breeding, as they say, will out. Voice as bored mouthed at him. “Get to see a lot of that, you as her job had become, the clerkess said, see, what with people asking for more than “Next customer, please. We offer three options they can cope with. So our legal people say for your pleasure. You may be a paying we’ve got to go by the book and get customer customer, you may be a ‘working’ client or authorisation and keep the records, just in you may be a free agent. A temporary tattoo case, you know. So which shall you be tonight, 95 ▼▼▼ will be applied to your left shoulder to indicate sir?” she said, batting her eyelashes at him your status. This tattoo will wash off with any and leaning forward so that her firmly ample cleanser or abrasive. Prices are commensu- charms could be revealed in all their cleavaged rate with chosen status and number of hours glory. It never hurt to try, did it? And Marj had selected. An additional fee will be charged for met her Dev on the job, hadn’t she? And she any pursuit involving the inflicting of bodily wouldn’t mind landing this bloke, even if for damage upon others and all breakages and/ the night. The strong, silent dark type, the or injuries will be charged to your credit hurt ones needing comfort, had always been account.” her weakness. But this one, unfortunately, Avon threw his credit disk down on the was either blind, not buying, or another counter in front of her. That got a reaction. Plato. Oh, well, the best ones always were. Seeing him standing there got even more of a The best one had already thought about response. “Oh, good evening, sir,” she breathed this on the flight here, in between trying to get at him, suddenly remembering why she had some sleep and steer his way out of the corner taken this job in the first place. “Welcome to he had talked himself into with Soolin. Pretty the Pleasure Dome. What’s your pleasure, and cold though she was, he didn’t need the sir?” complication. Also didn’t need her regaling Avon gestured at his disk, gleaming in the everyone with the scurrilous details over seductive ambience of the crowded lobby. breakfast the next morning. Although that “That,” he said, not even noticing how dan- had been rather pleasant the time she’d had gerous he sounded amidst all the carefully Tarrant. And he wasn’t going to think about cultivated ‘riskiness’ of the brothel, “should the time she’d had Vila, was he? He was here pay for anything I want.” for fun, he was here to forget, he was here to “Ooh, yes, sir, it will! Not often we see one have something the absolute opposite of the of these.” She picked it up as the valuable preposterous infatuation he had with the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

thief. To think he’d actually imagined himself waiting for you there. You will be given an in love! With Vila, of all people. He had better implant that will signal when your time is up. taste than that, surely. But the blonde scrub- We hope that the Pleasure Dome will fulfil ber was watching him and he realised that he your every desire and that you’ll come back was back amidst the masses again, that he soon. Next customer, please.” wasn’t Avon here, he was Will Stratford, and There was, indeed, an attendant waiting here, he would have to actually speak, to for him in plush silence, tattoo gun at the detail and perhaps even justify some of the ready, implant all set, locker open for him to things he said. But not, he thought, the fact place his personal belongings in and seal that he wanted to be fucked. It was impor- with his hand-print. The opulence that had tant, that, and more important that he didn’t begun in the lobby continued in here, an give himself away to her prurient curiosity. elegance that catered to the customer’s every He had his reasons, and they were his alone. whim. It would be different the second he “I don’t want to be labelled at all, but if that’s stepped through that black door though, he what your absurd system demands, then I knew. Very different indeed. After all, wasn’t shall comply. Mark me a worker and slate me that what he had paid for? If he’d wanted for 12 hours.” anything else, he could have followed up on “12 hours?” she squeaked, unable to resist his implied offer to Soolin, or given Tarrant the temptation and staring at his crotch in what that toothy upstart needed most in life. amazement. “12 hours? Most people only go Or he could have gone to one of the nicer in for two or three, sir. Are you sure—” she houses of very good repute, there to indulge remembered herself just in time, closing her himself in some good, anonymous sex. There mouth with a firm click of her teeth. If the were plenty of places in Freedom City where gentleman thought he was up to it for 12 he could pay for sex, and thus avoid even the hours, then the gentleman was entitled to faintest hint of personal involvement. This 96 think whatever the gentleman wanted. Mind, way, it would be a purely physical thing, ▼▼▼ with that tunic on, covering all the interesting nothing but his body involved. The way he bits, there wasn’t much to see. So maybe wanted it, after that stupid situation with there wasn’t much to see anyway. For that Vila. Proof of what happened when one stayed matter, she thought, inputting his data, with the one person for too long a time. One probably the reason he wanted 12 hours was becomes lazy, and foolish, and deluded. One because he was one of those typical ones, all starts convincing oneself that emotions are leather machismo and studs, and as limp as involved, when one knows perfectly well that a rag. Takes some of them a week to get it up love was deleted from one’s life a long time hard enough, she thought, vicious in her before. No, he wanted nothing that hinted at disappointment. He’s probably one of them the personal. And nothing that hinted at the ones that wants enemas and nanny to spank nice. Hence, this place. Nothing was forbid- them. All the best ones are either taken or den here, not a thing. The staff, and the kinky. And with the way he’s standing there, customers who had paid to be labelled staff, he’s probably covering up a prick that could were here at the beck and call of the other hide behind a toothpick, poor lamb. That customers, who could do as they pleased. black leather suit and the gun and the way The word ‘no’ was unheard in this place, he’s poseur-ing there like a hired mercenary, unless it were part of someone’s fantasy. His yeh, he probably can’t get it up unless he shoulder itched for a few seconds while the spends 10 hours getting the fantasy set up. temporary tattoo took, then he could no Oh, well… longer feel it, apart from in his mind, where it “Your credit disk, sir,” she said, back to burned as if radioactive. Once he stepped being as bored as her job was, not looking at through that door, he would have no say over Avon as she sent the information through to what he experienced, apart from the fact that the changing room attendants. “Go through he had chosen this place for the needs it could the red door on the left, someone will be fill, no question asked, no judgements made.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

No commitments demanded and no tacit there. But no, men were not what these promises to be betrayed. But he wasn’t going women were looking for, and he watched to think about Vila, who was safely soused in them meet in front of him with a mingling of some bar or other by now, his pockets full of lust and regret. Then they were gone, swal- credits and his brain empty of thought, if lowed by the crowd and the urgency of their Avon knew his Vila. own desires, so that Avon went back to his Which he was beginning to think he did perusings, a slow minuet of walking round not, at all. But—no Vila, just that ebon door, the perimeter of the courtyard, casting his the handle a gold oblique inviting an approach gaze around him with laudable contempt, that was neither straightforward nor nothing betraying the passion of his interest. exclusory, the old symbol of ambiguity Nothing escaped him, most especially not beckoning him to take it in his hand and go the details that others would lose in the forth, go forward and claim his pleasures. overwhelming abundance. It was obvious The attendant had already turned away from that this was either the genuine article or an him, perhaps readying the system for the excellent tableau made to look like a former next customer, perhaps tidying away the last prison pressed into service in this more ap- of tonight’s excesses before he went home to pealing manner. There were at least four tiers his wife or lover or pot-plant, a life no doubt stretching upwards, but the lights beyond far removed from the sybaritic barbarity of that were misleading, tricking the eye until this most hedonistic of brothels. Avon was the watcher had no way of telling what lay smiling as he opened that door, acidly amused behind the blanketing darkness with its pin- by the irony of the most infamous rebel pricks of light that might be cells or might be seeking out the most infamous house of ceiling lights or fairy lights to add mystery to pleasure. a place that was already suffering quite an The noise hit him like a cock up the arse, embarrassment of riches in that department. shocking him with the bolt of pleasure All the old doors had been removed along with 97 ▼▼▼ rocketing through him. His intellect might inhibitions, the cells erupting from the walls, well have been prepared for this place, but his spilling their contents for everyone to see. body had retained his ignorance for him, Three walled rooms they were now, an un- abandoning him to this moment of stunned nerving nothingness where before there had stillness as the din of a thousand voices been the dense solidity of prison walls. It raised in erotic excess rammed into him. Like made one quite uncomfortable, to see a cock would later. He was going to be fucked: something so totally out of place as freedom had to be fucked. Had to erase the knowledge in a prison, but in the end, that very imbal- that only Vila had ever fucked him, that only ance added to the atmosphere that abounded Vila had ever been inside him, that only Vila here. had ever been trusted so terribly much. Face Bare feet silent and chilled upon the metal impassive, pace measured, he began a slow of the spiral staircase, Avon rose to the first perambulation of the place, eyes missing floor, glancing in at the usual permutations of nothing, all his senses feasting on the ban- human sexuality, uninterested by anything quet spread before him. The central courtyard so boring. He was aware of the brevity of his was filled with the millings of the crowd, a ‘costume’, a mere whisper of translucent cornucopia of concupiscence, every possible black silk that clung to his hips like a kiss, type represented here at least once, or more, enticing by its coy nod to decorum the barely if one were to look carefully, if one were able restrained lusts of his fellow beings. There to ease the overload of one’s system to notice was a woman over there who looked as if she the mundanity of individualism. Avon didn’t might prove interesting, but she was rather care to, eager to be buffeted by the tide of tied up at the moment—or more precisely, sexual opportunity that tugged at him so. her partner was. He passed her by, slowly Perhaps that woman there would be the one meandering through the halls, pausing oc- to see his mark and take him, or that one casionally when he came across something of

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

interest, but despite his mark of being one of room for it, no need for it, just another the employees of this place, no-one called symptom of his exhaustion and being over- him over, no-one took him to pleasure. extended trying to mould a bunch of quivering Still alone, he continued wandering, ninnies into a force to defeat the Federation. skipping the next two levels, going straight up He lost his train of thought when he caught to the only floor that had cells with four walls, sight of a young man so beautiful, Ganymede although the doorways all gaped like the would envy him. Without thinking about it, gums of the old. He walked along the gang- he followed, eyes fixed on the clench and way, resolutely refusing to think about what hollow of the young man’s buttocks, his cock had prompted him to come here, a place quickening at the sight of such wonderfully where he could subsume his need for love available firm flesh. But—he was marked as into the reassuring largesse of his sexuality. employee, and as such, embargoed from Aromas assaulted him, some intriguing, some approaching a ‘customer’. Still, there was no unfamiliar, some well-known and repugnant proscription against looking, was there? And to him. He glanced in one of the doorless when it came to this young man, there was jambs, one look telling him that this was not certainly a lot to look at. And, he reminded the level he wanted to be on: scat was one himself, a beauty like that probably had a thing that appealed to him not at all, but he ‘daddy’ and where there were ‘daddies’, there didn’t race from the scene, taking his time to was fucking. Then see where that left Vila. leave with dignity, wondering now why no- Get the idiot out his system once and for all… one, especially on this level, had ordered him The beauty led him to the far end of the over. It wasn’t as if he were ugly or deformed level, round the corner where they were and he knew that he exuded sex. But then, completely unseen by those on the levels what was it Vila had said to him, quite below, round the corner where the light did recently? Something about how before, his not reach. A moment of dead darkness, then 98 aura of sexual danger had been a succulent a glimmer of light on flawless flesh, disap- ▼▼▼ thrill, but now it had become nothing more pearing along another corridor. Avon, natu- than threat. Quite the sort of rubbish one rally, followed into the wild unknown, pulse expected from… leaping at the hint of danger. He wanted He shoved the name out of his mind, adventure, wanted something so far removed tossing the memory of heartsore brown eyes from what he shared with Vila that the stupid out behind it. Let the miserable wretch keep little fool would never even cross his mind. company with his misery: it had no place in And this was the place to find it. Cacophony Avon’s life. Crève-cœur had no home in him, before? Nothing, compared to this annexe. had no place in his life, and if Vila wanted to This was a choir gone mad, every voice that wear it on his sleeve where before he had ever spoke raised in the sounds of sex, panting, worn his heart, then let him. There was no groaning, screaming, hurling abuse. Oh, yes, need for Avon to even notice it, no reason for this was the perfect place to forget Vila… him to ever even see it. And he wouldn’t, he Along the right-hand wall were stacks of decided, mind clenched shut like a fist ready small cages, some opaque, some clear, some to bludgeon someone, he would not see it, barred, doors open or shut, or padlocked, would not accept the blame for it. Had he not endless permutations, just like the sex offered his apology? Had he not offered a fresh writhing all around him. There were bodies in start? But Vila, the great and perfect Vila had those little cages, ‘slaves’ awaiting their refused, turned him down flat without so Master’s pleasure, their collars giving not much as a word, or a look, or a second their own names, but the names of their chance, to make right what he hadn’t even owners. Avon strolled past them, such sub- known was wrong… servience not an interest of his. He preferred The droplet itching his cheek surprised a bit of conflict, a bit of struggle in his him: he hadn’t cried in years. And he was not, victims—or in himself, if that were the role he absolutely was not going to start now. No was playing. A movement caught his eye and

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ he turned to watch the expression of pro- across the mouth for his mannerlessness. He found trust on the man who was lying in the was hauled forward, big, rough hands grab- leather swing, his lover’s hand up the elbow bing his face, prying his mouth open, and in his arse. Avon drew closer, fascinated, his then he was being kissed, tongue forced so far cock heavy with desire. Now this was some- into his mouth he couldn’t swallow, the thing that appealed to him, this ultimate in man’s curly hair covering his face in softness confluent trust and domination and sub- and his mind in the incongruously sweet mission, where the roles might be so inter- scent of the man’s shampoo. Careless, Avon mingled as to be but a single strand in a thought, to slip like that, it works much complicated skein. He knew what it was like better if one hasn’t bathed before the fantasy to have that much trust directed towards begins. oneself, knew what it was like to have so Hard fingers were digging into his arse, much control and yet, to be so commanded probing him viciously, abandoning him to by the man absorbing his hand. Oh, yes, he return with slithering coarseness, ramming liked this… into him, as he tilted his hips to let the fingers “You.” get in him deeper. There was a mouth on his He ignored the voice as nothing more than cock, teeth nipping, lips sucking, and another another participant in another game. mouth on his right nipple, pinching fingers “I,” the voice said in his ear as a tattooed fist on the left. He heard someone groan, prob- closed on his arm, while he watched the ably himself, but it was impossible to tell if the closed fist disappear into the wide-spread sound he felt in his throat was able to escape arse, “am talking to you.” He turned, to face past the mouth that was raping his. His back a man several inches taller and several stone was arched for him, and the mouth sucking heavier than himself, smooth skinned and him was replaced by hand pumping him, barrel-chested, leather straps criss-crossing pulling at his foreskin, stretching it out to his nakedness, balls in a tight-fastened form an envelope for the shiveringly sweet 99 ▼▼▼ stretcher, cock circled by three silver rings. attention of a tongue that slid into him there. “Yeh, that’s right, you, pretty boy.” A bristle of moustache and unshaven chin Oh, how delightful: he hadn’t been called raked his shoulders, a rampant cock rubbed ‘boy’ in years. damply up and down his thigh, rolling against “Think it’s funny, do you? Well, you can him as some man humped him like an un- come with me, laddie, and I’ll show you just trained dog. He grinned when his arms were how un-funny it really is.” stretched out, away from the touch of flesh, He was dragged, with his full co-operation, lifted up to where they could be chained, with away from the tableau that had so entranced the delectable chill of metal closing around him, pulled past men in body slings made of the heat of his wrists, to the wide-spaced bars thin strips of leather, past a man tied to a in front of him. He was pulled closer and stake in the pose of a martyr while his cock closer until his belly was cold from the kiss of was pierced and the man quivered with metal and his cock was hot from the sucking masochistic joy. He found his young man of a mouth on the other side of the barrier. again, suspended on his back above ground, The man who had chosen him was muttering a cock up his arse, a cock ramming down into in his ear, telling him what was going to be his throat and white teeth nipping at the done to him, what he was going to do to earn whiteness of his skin until it turned red. his money and what was going to happen to Still he was led on, never allowed to linger, make up for his sorry performance so far. not even when the man who had claimed him With a smile of fond recognition, Avon shifted his grip, letting go of Avon’s shoulder heard the swish, the wonderfully familiar and taking him by the balls instead, tugging swish of leather scourge, the faint whistle as at him, making Avon stumble in his haste to it arced gracefully through the air and then— keep up. Without warning, they stopped and jolt, it was on him, heat radiating from every he bumped into the man, getting cuffed caressing sting of its touch. He jerked forward,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

burying himself in the face of the man suck- no beginning and no end, no edges, no pain, ing him, feeling the involuntary swallow of all no pain, nothing, pleasure, pleasure and he the length of his cock. Then another sibilant was going to come, with cock in his mouth sting of leather on flesh, and his shout echoed and up his arse, fucking and being fucked, the halls, his voice crying out his pleasure. sucking and sucked, giver and receiver, lover Another blow, and another, so that his arse and loved, wanting and wanted and he was was a red flag displaying his arousal. Then going to come— the scourge was gone and there were warm He was bereft, arse empty and aching with hands gentling him, soothing him, stroking the loss, blond pushed away, cock deserted to and squeezing, until it changed and he was the coldness of air and the bitter pain of being kneaded, harder and harder, every abandonment, head pulled pack and left clench of the hands on his buttocks stretching gaping, wanting something to fill the loneli- his arsehole open, displaying him for the ness of his heart. He opened his eyes, head prurient curiosity of others. But not Vila, he whipping from side to side to see what the hell screamed inside his head where no-one could was going on, who the hell had done this, and hear, where no-one could wonder whether it knew a moment of profound confusion: the was the cry of jubilation or utter desolation. man who had chosen him was wrenching his But he couldn’t think about Vila, couldn’t hands free of the manacles, giving him a dare the pain any more. Hard slickness freedom he didn’t want. Then the man turned pressed at him, pushing, pushing, forcing its round and it wasn’t his man it was— way home, sliding in easier and easier, until “Blake. I should have known,” he sneered, he was smooth and wet and clutching at the voice as low and bitter as his loneliness and cock as it pummelled his insides. His cock his hurt fury. “I might have known that it was seized by someone’s mouth—he looked would be you insisting on freeing someone down in idle interest and saw that it was a who was more than happy in his own par- 100 blond—whose face he was fucking, thrusting ticular bondage. I might have known you ▼▼▼ forward every time the big man behind him would finally show your face when least I thrust into him. Pleasure was cavalcading wanted to see it, you bastard, you stupid through him, but there was still one more bastard, you prick.” A glance at Blake’s groin, thing, one more that he had to have to make then vitriol enough to castrate, “But then, it perfect and he saw, out of the corner of his obviously I’d have to take that back, I see.” eye, the sheen of light on mahogany skin, And then the words were over, leaving long, lithe muscles rippling as the owner of a them standing there, matador and bull in a huge cock clambered up to stand on cross- circle formed by the bloodthirst of the crowd: bar, his feet on either side of the blond’s two naked men, one still hard and taut, one shoulders, his cock plunging deep into Avon’s drooping and limp, both on fire with anger mouth, the musk rising to mingle with Avon’s and betrayal and other things they never own, and with the men’s around him, so would name, even when their lives depended many of them and so many cocks, so much on it. The other men lingered for a couple of smooth skin, so much raw sexuality sur- minutes, then realised that this was going to rounding him, inundating him. He was cock, turn into an emotional scene, that this wasn’t nothing but cock and sensation and pleasure. going to be a fantasy rape come to life. This, Cock in his mouth, cock in his arse coming it seemed, was going to be a lot of boring chat, right out his belly into the mouth of the blond so they drifted off, one by one, leaving Avon kneeling in homage at this personification of and Blake standing alone, both of them priapus. Endless cycle, cock to cock to cock, bearing the marks of these years that lay mouth to arse to cock, all of it neverending, between them like graves. neverceasing, the rhythm of life, the pulse of Avon’s chest was heaving, breath hard, his heart echoing in three cocks, ricocheting eyes harder, cock only now beginning to lose through his arse, white-water rapid through its pride. “My god, look at you,” was what he his blood. Endless, endless, endless, he had finally said, speaking only when Blake took

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ breath to give voice to whatever it was one sympathy that might try to show face. “As said to one’s former friend. “What have you good an excuse as any, I suppose. Who did it? been doing?” Mary or her little lamb?” “Fighting,” Blake began. “Travis.” “Losing,” Avon snapped. He stepped closer, Avon laughed at that, not a pretty sound at his musk filling Blake’s nostrils, the sight of all. “I’ve finished playing your fool, Blake. Try him filling Blake’s mind, Avon’s bright eyes another answer.” examining every new wrinkle, every new scar, “I don’t care if you’re still too narrow- every half-healed wound, noticing most of all minded to see the truth when it stares you in the seeping wounds to the soul that dimmed the face, Avon. Yes, yes, I know we saw Travis Blake’s eyes. “What have you been doing?” he die. But we saw the second Travis die. Think, said again. “You look like something the cat man, think! When Travis appeared with a would refuse to drag in. Found yourself a new new face, we assumed his mind-patterns had Servalan, have you? Alice through the look- been put into a new body when the old one ing glass, perhaps—without me fighting your had been damaged beyond repair. Which was battles for you, she’s about all you could incredibly stupid of us. I remember that night survive. And you look as if you barely man- on the flight deck perfectly well, and so must aged that.” you. You and I, middle-watch, everyone else “I’ve been living rough—” asleep, discussing what might have hap- “Really? Oh, do tell, I’d never have noticed.” pened to Travis’ old body. But it didn’t occur “—starting up new bands of rebels, fight- to either of us, did it, that if they were going ing the Federation on the quiet, flanking to be giving him a new body, then they’d give action whilst—” him one that wasn’t flawed, wouldn’t they?” “While I took the full brunt of it. Or rather, And to his surprise, Avon found himself considering that I let myself be set up by an listening, as if they were back on the Liberator, aging, overweight and overwrought martyr Cally off meditating, the two of them gnawing 101 ▼▼▼ who can’t even die properly, I should probably at things the others had no time for, as call it the ‘fool’ brunt of it. Should I spell that opposed to standing naked and conspicuous for you, Blake, or is what you so fondly refer by their lack of libidinous activity. “But why to as your brain still up to such complex bother doing it in the first place? Unless—” wordplay?” characteristic Avon, from the days that seemed “Don’t you think it’s faintly ridiculous that so bright in retrospect, when held up to the two naked men are standing in the middle of darkling mirror of today. “Unless it was by a brothel arguing semantics?” presenting this new Travis to be the brunt of “Oh, no, I don’t think that at all. I think it’s the whole mess, she freed the original Travis hugely ridiculous, and all of the ridicule to do—what?” belongs fairly on your shoulders, Blake.” “Come after me, for starters, by infiltrating “Ever gracious as always, I see. But did and destroying more than half the organised your mother never teach you to share? Some rebellions in the galaxy.” of the blame is doubtlessly yours, Avon.” “That’s either preposterous nonsense or “Is it? Only for being fool enough to help you’ve been listening to her publicity.” you. Only for being fool enough to let you live “I’d actually quite like to be wrong—” when I had ample opportunity to kill you, and “Even at the cost of making me right?” ample reason to.” Another scathing glance “Even at so high a price. But in getting into from the top of Blake’s head to the tips of his the upper echelons of one group, he would get toes. “Yes, ample does rather seem to fit the access to literally dozens of other ones and bill, doesn’t it? Living rough? You look as if then send in someone else, whilst he moved you’ve had a table a pasha would envy.” on to ‘help’ another group.” “Or a knee so badly damaged by torture “Which is all very nice and really quite that I could barely walk for over a year.” pretty, if you look at it from Servalan’s point A raised eyebrow, denial of any faint hint of of view, but it doesn’t for one second explain,”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

and his voice hardened now, as the old words. You followed me and stayed with me patterns of the flight deck were sloughed off so that you could be rid of me?” as nothing more than a bad habit to be “Twisting things always was one of the few resolved against, “where the hell you’ve been things you were good at, wasn’t it?” or what the hell you’ve been up to.” “Something I picked up from you, obvi- “Interesting choice of word, that,” Blake ously.” said, and Avon felt a sudden pang of— “So you can’t even take credit for your one homesickness?—regret, for Blake was and only talent. Mind wipe again?” standing in front of him, the old combination “That was never an excuse and you know of darkness and wryness, knuckle being it!” Hissed, Blake leaning forward, his anger gnawed, hair dishevelled— making him tower over Avon, heat coiling “But a very good choice,” Blake was saying. between them. “You were always one for “Hell is as good a name as any for the past two dismissing other people’s suffering though, I years.” should hardly have expected to find you —and naked, standing in the middle of a changed.” brothel, spouting some crap about having “You hardly expected to find me at all! Did spent the last two years in hell and Avon was you, Blake? Did you honestly expect to find furious, every hurt, every insult, every defeat me here? Oh, but of course not, what a stupid that happened because of the absence of this question for me to ask. You,” he snarled, man erupting through him, all his sexual shocking Blake with the acid hate that burned tension rising up to strangle him. “Oh, yes, them both, “didn’t expect to find me here, for that’s obvious. But how very strange—I didn’t if you had, you’d be at the other end of the realise this…establishment was called ‘Hell’. Galaxy, wouldn’t you? You never wanted to I thought it was the Pleasure Dome. But ‘Hell’ find me, so this can hardly be called a happy it shall be, with you in it. Come here often, do happenstance, can it? Certainly,” he said, 102 you?” The words were venom-veiled, dripping drawing himself to his full height, so heavily ▼▼▼ acid from their barbed points, summing up clothed in dignity that his forgot his own the feelings of two entire years spent suffering nakedness, “not for me.” in the pit of Blake’s revolution. “What, Avon? Aren’t you glad to see me? But Blake didn’t know that, did he? Two Then who’s that for?” a condescending nod at years of hell obviously hadn’t done anything Avon’s groin, where his cock had begun to to help him understand Avon, nor to help him rise again, adrenalin and power and anger read between Avon’s lines. “Actually, no, I making him hard. “Vila?” don’t. This is my first trip here in almost four It was the last sneer that did it. “It has been. months, surely not an excessive record—” More often than it would ever be for you.” “Well now, but that depends on which “So you did want me, then, after all.” excesses you indulge in whilst you’re here, “No need to sound so smug, Blake. Yes, I doesn’t it now?” did want you—then. But as you were so fond “—or do you demand celibacy from your of saying, the past is dead and gone and we icons these days, Avon?” must look to the future. A future which seems “Icon? You dare— Icon? No, never that. all the rosier for you not being part of it. You were never anything more than a false Although I must admit, I rather preferred it idol with feet of clay up to your armpits.” when I thought you were dead. It was such “Then why did you follow me?” a…comforting thought.” “I let you lead—” the old steel, the old “I don’t believe that, not for one second.” tempered independence, “me, because it “You always did have a problem with the suited me. It was, if you care to remember the truth—you couldn’t recognise it even when it less halo-ed details, the only way I could get bit you.” the Liberator from you. It was, in the end, the “The way you did?” only way I could get rid of you.” “Oh, but I never bit you, Blake,” shark’s “Now that’s another interesting choice of smile, glacier eyes, “I left all the cannibalism

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ to you. After all, you did such a good job with done. I know what I was willing to do. I have Gan.” nightmares about it, did you know that? Did “That was…” you know that I have nightmares about “Unavoidable? For the great and glorious losing Cally because I couldn’t keep away Cause? For the great unwashed?” He smiled from your siren song?” again, scenting blood, going in for the kill. “Or Blake looked abruptly as if someone had was it that you wanted to give him the honour kicked him in the stomach, as if he were going of laying down his life for his friend? You to be sick. “I’m sorrier about that than you always did have a penchant for sacrifice for can ever know.” the Cause—as long as it was someone else’s “Oh, really? You hardly have exclusive head on the block, of course.” rights to guilt, Blake.” Blake shuffled his feet, a haunting shadow “I…” Blake didn’t hear Avon, didn’t hear darkening his eyes. “No, no…that’s not what the hollowed out sorrow of anguish, didn’t I was going to say. I was going to say…” even notice the words. “I… They had me “What? That you wept crocodile tears for drugged, you know. Helpless. And after the Gan whilst making plans for the rest of us?” torture, I couldn’t even walk. Day after day, “No. That it was the beginning of the end for lying in that bed, hooked up to the drugs I me. Gan dying…I didn’t realise it at the time, needed just to stay alive, knowing that all the although I think you did. It did something to while, they were pumping me full of the drugs me, Avon. Changed something in me. That’s they needed to get the information out of me.” when the rot set in.” “You were there?” Avon hissed, eyes wide, “You’re wrong about that, you know.” A all the past come crashing forward to bury flare of hope in Blake’s eyes. “The rot set in the him. “You were there? It really was you? Did day you thought you had killed Travis. The you betray us, Blake? Did you betray me?” day you enjoyed killing Travis.” “I didn’t mean to!” A bellow, to disguise the The death of hope, the beginning of the pain, to hide the self-loathing. “I had no 103 ▼▼▼ end. “Voice of experience, Avon?” choice, Avon. They had me, for months, Avon. “Yes! And who was it who taught me that, Gods, man, who the hell do you think it was Blake? Oh, do let me tell you, Fearless Leader. who picked me up?” It was you. I had gone against society’s rules “She had you for that long?” Dawning before, but I’d never killed to salve someone’s horror, memories of what those few paltry ego before. I had never killed just to shut days waiting for Shrinker had done to him, someone up from his incessant self-doubts. what existing in that charnel house of torture I had never killed to just to prove someone had done to his soul, hearing the endless right before. For you—because of you, because screaming and sobbings. “That long?” I was stupid enough to listen to you, to care— Blake was at the railing now, hands ” he spat the word out for the curse it had clenched on the bars, head dropped forward, become, “—for you, I let my barbarity rule my forehead pressing painfully into the metal to head. I was willing to destroy the Universe for dull the pain of the memories. “They had you! I was willing to blow up Star One like a Jenna. It took… She was braver than ever I vengeful schoolboy, and why? Because I had was. I think they knew that, I think that’s why fallen under your charismatic spell. Because they kept her in front of me to… D’you know I had let myself be blinded by your vision. Oh, how she died?” yes, it’s the voice of experience, all right. And “I can guess,” and Avon’s voice was very you are the one behind it.” close behind him now, breath warm to mar “Now who is it,” Blake blustered, mind the chill of the metal. reeling and body shaking from the shock of it, “Can you? Images of me killing her myself unwilling and unable to take it all in, to face to put her out of her misery, to stop her it and deal with it, “who’s refusing to take agony? Big brave Blake, heroically easing the responsibility for his own actions?” helpless suffering of his friend? Oh, gods, “Not me, Blake, not me. I know what I’ve you’ve no idea how much I wish that was true!

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

But it wasn’t me. They broke me, Avon, broke Somehow, the hearing of it was less than me into so many little pieces I didn’t know the fearing it. Better the devil you know? Avon where to start to put me back together again.” didn’t know, would work that out later, but… A shuddering breath, carrying the sounds of Hearing it, actually hearing it said and con- tears on it like the wind carries the rain. “I firmed—it was a weight from off his shoulders. didn’t even want to put myself back together. He knew it now, knew the worst, knew the I was too afraid, too shit-scared… An orderly, nadir of the whole disgusting business. Blake one of the slaves they had brought in with had betrayed him. And then he knew the them, she was the one that killed Jenna. answer, knew why the knowing was not so She… She couldn’t even talk any more, they’d dreadful as he had expected: the worst was got her beyond that. But the woman had over. Blake had betrayed him. Had. Past tense. heard Jenna screaming and…and… Tight- Over and done with, dead and gone. Blake ened something too much, pressed a switch, had betrayed him. So if he were to do it again, I’m not sure. I’d stopped looking by then, well now, the damage was already done. couldn’t take it. Only looked when they made Trust, after all, can only be destroyed once. do it… They made me do things, oh, Avon, the “Did you know,” Avon said almost con- things they made me do…” versationally as if they were having a nice And what was he to say to that? What chat over tea instead of swimming in the words could possibly be said after the words surreality of their reality, “that I trusted you? that had spewed from Blake? That he was Stupid of me, I know, but true nonetheless. I sorry? When it was so difficult to feel anything actually trusted you—an unfortunate bleed- at all with nervous breakdown and insanity over from Anna, no doubt. She betrayed me nipping at his heels? When it was so difficult too, you know.” to feel anything when he had been miserable “Yes, I know.” and hunted for so long that he had begun to That brought the sharpness back and the 104 lose sight of who he was? And yet… When smell of old pain that festered in the cellars of ▼▼▼ they’d got back to the Scorpio, when he’d made his mind. “How? How the hell did you know that last, vicious crack at Vila… He remem- that?” bered how that felt. Remembered how much Blake straightened, wandered over to the he’d regretted it since then. Remembered trestle, changed his mind when he realised how much he’d wanted to heal that pain, but that it would take him to the very lip of their it was Vila who wouldn’t let him. cul-de-sac and put him where he could see He could heal some of the pain here, the rest of the human race going about its surely? A kind of penance for some of the business. “Bartolomew,” he said heavily, past. And if he were to help Blake, perhaps he sitting down just as heavily on the floor, back would continue to reap what he had sowed to the metal bars, face towards the blankness and Vila would be willing to at least listen… of the wall that separated them from the other “No-one can survive the Federation centres people in this place. Behind him, they could without breaking,” he offered, finally, to the hear some of the noise, could see occasional broad expanse of Blake’s back. “No-one.” glimpses of light on flesh, of flesh on flesh, but “Jenna did! Oh, god, Avon, Jenna did. It that reality was but a dream to them, cut off was me who told them everything, it was me from them by the very normality of the lives who gave them all the access codes. It was those people led. Such normal, petty little me… I almost killed you, all of you, more lives, full of normal, petty little hurts, having times than I know. I told them everything. Don’t no connection whatsoever with Avon and you understand?” he screamed, whirling Blake, cut adrift as they were by the tortures round, grabbing Avon by the arms, shaking and torments that had warped and twisted him. “It was me, Avon!” His voice dropped to them beyond easy recognition. But the old a whisper and his hands dropped to his side, selves, those were still there, buried under a eyes going dead and lightless. “I betrayed mountain of ordure and ardure. you…” “Bartolomew?” Avon’s voice shivered,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ muffled in the fog of nightmare. “Will you tell him the truth?” “Yes. She was…well, she had some very “Only if you tell me it first.” inventive methods of interrogation.” Blake looked at him, noting the new “Which explains how she was able to get wrinkles, the twist of the mouth that revealed into the rebellion like that…” more than Avon would ever want anyone to Blake was too weary to even be curious know about him. “I’m still alive. And I still about it. Depression was blanketing him haven’t given up. Tell him I’m still alive and he again, the weight familiar and comforting can come to me, if he can forgive me for it all.” simply because he and it were old, old friends. Avon turned aside as if from a blow. “Avon? When he wrapped himself in misery, he was What’ve I said? What’s wrong?” too apathetic to care any more. Too miserable Avon laughed at that, flimsy echoes of the to want to go on, or to live. So much easier hysteria that had marked him so much re- that way, to be alive by feeling dead. So much cently. He could almost see the useless money better than what he’d had these past two fluttering down like autumn… “Oh, it would years. But that was Avon pacing in front of be quicker to tell you what’s right than to even him. Avon, diamond-sharp and just as bril- begin on what’s wrong.” liant, Avon who had always offered him ways “Then tell me what’s right. How’s Vila?” out, new paths, new possibilities. “I’ve set a Avon became fascinated by the cluster of new base up,” he said out of the blue, surpris- hair on his inner thigh, on the left, almost ing himself by the revelation. “On a planet hidden by the shadow from his limp penis. named Gauda Prime. I…I’m always in need of His balls were uncomfortable, now that he a good computer man.” was avoiding the conversation and thinking Avon came to stand directly in front of about other things now. Too much arousal Blake, grin death’s head wide at the way and not enough coming, he thought, absently Blake flushed. For all his quick comments, rubbing himself, fingers delicately soothing for all his liberal cosmopolitanism, Blake had on the fine skin of his testicle. He could 105 ▼▼▼ never been comfortable about malesex. He’d suddenly hear Blake’s discomfort. “It would been quick enough to use it to suit his have been so much easier,” he said in an odd damned Cause, but when actually offered sort of voice, “if you’d been bisexual, you it… It amused Avon, in a rather nasty sort of realise that, don’t you? Then we could have way, to stand in front of Blake, legs akimbo, had a wonderful affaire, pyrotechnics all the cock on a level with Blake’s mouth, offering way and the whole thing would have burned something that Blake could never quite look out in a matter of weeks. I would have been at for fear of wanting too much. “In need of a free of you, then. Ironic, isn’t it,” he went on good computer man? And what,” he went on, with the familiar old smile of self-deprecation, unable to resist the small revenge, “about a inviting Blake to join him in his black humour, good thief?” “that you always said I needed to learn how to Other people might think it odd that Blake love. The problem, Blake,” and this told as if hadn’t asked after the thief, hadn’t enquired it were the punchline to a joke, Avon’s eyes to see if Vila were still alive, but in this place, heart-breakingly moist, “was always that I this warped haven where they could actually loved too easily. I always could and always did talk to each other it mattered not at all fall in…fall into infatuation at the drop of the because this setting was no more real than proverbial hat. That’s how it was with… Yes, their nightmares—or their lives outside these well, I don’t suppose you particularly want to walls. “How is Vila?” hear about Bartolomew.” “Oh, very well, thank you,” Avon said “Avon?” sarcastically, crouching down to stare directly Avon looked up in response to the wondrous into Blake’s eyes as if there would be an awe in Blake’s voice. “What?” answer there. Or these days, he’d settle for a “Did you just tell me you loved me?” decent question. “He thinks you’re dead, you “Yes, I did rather seem to, didn’t I? But know.” then, I haven’t been quite myself recently.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Blake still remembered when to ignore waiting in the anonymous near-dark to hear Avon. “So you’re telling me that you would what Avon was going to say. have had an affaire with me, given half the “I tried to kill him, you know.” chance?” “What? You tried to kill Vila? Why the hell “Blake, if I had thought I could have had did you do that?” you without you screaming in outraged vir- “We were in a shuttle—booby-trapped, of ginity, I would have shoved you up against course. I had to lighten the tare, and Vila… He the nearest wall and fucked you on the was the right weight, and not attached to the London. Without a second’s hesitation.” walls of the shuttle.” That quite took the wind out of Blake’s Blake was staring at him in utter disbelief. sails. He rather liked the image of Avon loving “I can’t believe you would do a thing like that. him, but the image of himself being sodomised I used to be able to get you to leap through gave him pause. Too many memories crowding hoops to protect Vila—” in on him, black uniforms, white science “Yes, well, I’ve obviously come to my senses.” smocks, doctors’ uniforms, in the dark and “Have you? Killing Vila doesn’t strike me as the pain and… “They raped me. Quite often.” being the kind of thing you would do—in your “And I just made it sound as if that was right senses.” what I had in mind. Don’t be stupid, Blake. I “Think I’ve gone over the edge, do you? I was talking about a long time ago, about the suppose you are qualified. After all, don’t they people we used to be, if—and I mean if—you say that it takes one to know one?” were willing. But you weren’t, you’re not, Such wicked humour to pull the sting of close the subject.” horror, but it was not quite enough, never “If it’s what you need, I could give it to you.” had been, as was betrayed by the lines around “Like the Liberator?” nasty words, nastier Avon’s eyes and the furrows on his forehead. words, their pain rolling off Blake. “So now It was hardly a bolt of light, but rather a dim 106 you’re willing—in a manner, after a fashion— surprise, telling him something that he would ▼▼▼ but I’m not. I’ve had it, Blake, had it up to here have known, had he seen Avon just once with all that nonsense, all that crap—” recently: Avon was unhappy, taut-string tense “Avon, why don’t you tell me? What the and ready to snap. And he, Blake, had for hell’s wrong?” once, the string to lead them out the minotaur’s “Shall I refer you to my answer of a few maze. “Why don’t the two of you come to minutes before, Lord Arbiter?” Gauda Prime with me? I’ll be going back “No, but you could just tell me. You know tomorrow, latish, so that should give you time me, Avon, I won’t let it go until I’ve wormed to talk to each other about it.” every last detail out of you.” “Ah, I’m afraid there’s just a teeny little “Do I know you?” Avon asked soberly. “Do problem there.” you even know yourself any longer, I wonder?” “And are you going to tell me what this “I wonder too. And no, I can’t answer that. teeny little problem is, or should I start Oh, I think I know why I’m doing what I’m guessing?” doing, but it comes back again and again… “Has it ever occurred to you to wonder why They’ve planted subliminal programming in you and I would claim to fight over everything, me once before, why shouldn’t they have yet would tell one another things we would done it again?” never dream of telling the others?” “I remember then. That was the time you “Because we’re each as bad as the other? tried to convince Vila that I had taken up with Because the only way we could co-exist was Cally.” to have our complicated set of checks and No hint in the soft voice, no indication of balances over the other? Because we had to whether or not Blake was going to have his have equality in all blackmailing possibilities head in his hands to play with. “Well, you so that neither could extort the other?” must admit, it did work.” “What—no words of undying friendship?” Silence. Blake let it wind its way down, “Why bother, when all you’d do is deny it?

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

You, my friend,” Blake smiled dryly, “will Plus, in a strange kind of way, it was rather confess to any sin and any vice—whether pleasant sitting here chatting to Blake in a you’ve done them or not—but you’d die rather setting so bizarre that it couldn’t possibly be than admit to any virtue. All part and parcel real. Cocooned in the semi-dark, in an area of being the man in black, I thought. And all off the beaten track, all the action going on part of making sure that you never let anyone elsewhere, all around their little oasis, leav- down. If none of us had any expectations of ing them time out of place, no connection to anything but the worst from you, then we reality, just this little hiccough of life for them could never be disappointed, could we? That to sit together and talk, as if none of the way, you could never break your word to us, bitterness still gnawed at his belly. “I’ve been could you?” with Vila for… On and off, about eleven “But you, by your own admission, have years.” betrayed me.” “Good god, how long? No, no, I heard. But “Only under duress, Avon, and I think— I thought you two met on the London?” hope—I’m free now. With luck, my escape “There? Hardly. That particular fraud was took them so much by surprise that they our third together. And I used to buy inter- didn’t have time to implant me. Either way, esting things that Vila…found.” I’m acting on my own—for the time being, if “That’s a long time, Avon. To give it up nothing else. And I’m not asking you to trust without a fight.” me, not this time. I can’t trust myself, Avon, “And how can I fight silence? Always so I’m hardly going to ask you to do it for me.” supposing I wanted to, of course.” “What a pity you never showed such “Make him listen.” laudable restraint the first time round.” “And you are, of course, quite the expert on “So you will come, then?” successful relationships. What happened— Avon, unpredictable as always, looked decided to hide your light under a bushel around and grinned, saying, “Well now, I’m when you met me to protect my poor, fragile 107 ▼▼▼ certainly in the right place for that, aren’t I?” ego?” “Why did you pick here?” “Don’t be such a bitch it doesn’t become A shrug, then honesty. “No questions asked, you. I admit my ‘track record’ is appalling, no limits. And too much pain and bondage in what little I can remember of it. But I could here for Vila to even consider coming here.” manipulate you, couldn’t I, Avon? So make “I thought you loved him?” him listen to you.” “And when has love ever been enough? “Is it just me, or is this a truly preposterous Not,” he hurried on, almost tripping over his situation? You and I, sitting in the middle of tongue in his haste to deny to himself more a brothel, discussing my private life.” than Blake, “that I actually loved Vila. A laugh as bitter as almonds, then: “It’s But…one becomes accustomed to someone hardly any more preposterous than any of over the years…” the rest of it, is it?” “How many years, Avon? Go on, tell me. I A longish pause, whilst Avon sat himself promise I shan’t breathe a word.” down on the floor, back to the wall, shoulder “Unless the Federation get you again. I’m to shoulder with Blake. It was refreshing, in sorry, I take that back, that was rude of me.” its own odd way, to be able to talk to someone “Oh, how I’ve missed you!” who knew him well enough from before that Genuine surprise at that. “I beg your par- there was nothing for him to explain and don?” nothing for him to wade through, all the blood “Only you, Kerr Avon, would make a ref- from the old wounds dried and flaking. Time erence like that an apology not for your did, after all, heal all ills. Or at least let the cruelty or anything else, but for being rude.” living bury the dead. “Living proof that breeding will out. As for “And what would the master manipulator Vila…” In a sense, he owed Blake an answer suggest?” after the reflexive viciousness of that comment. “Offer him a way out. Offer him a home

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

base. Offer him freedom, or as much as any Vila to rejoin him. The only remaining survi- of the old group can have.” He stopped short, vors of the original group that had humiliated his words hitting him. “We’re all that’s left, Servalan, that had shown off her weaknesses. Avon, from the old days. The three of us, Too easy, too convenient… Servalan and the original Travis. That’s it. “My base is a good one, Avon—all the Avalon—” comforts of home. Well, my home, anyway. “Spare me the sentimental details. The last Not quite up to your standards, I don’t sup- thing I need is a roll call of the dead.” pose.” “I am honestly sorry about Cally.” “So you are offering me all the comforts of “At least now I know why it was your name a substandard home for the dubious benefits she called out as she died. But—” and his of setting myself up to be betrayed by you eyes sharpened, some of the wounds and again. What do you think I am, Blake—a suspicions not quite as dead as he had masochist?” thought, “how did you get off the planet Blake, with more point than tact, looked at yourself? Cally called your name after Servalan the metal bars where he had found Avon, had left, and she took Liberator. If you were hanging, chained and restrained. there, how did you escape, Blake?” “Oh, no, you can’t get me on that one. What “Surely you’re not that dense, Avon? Two I do for sex has got nothing to do with the rest ships. The one Servalan left for you, the old of my life. I used up all my stupidity in rickety one, and the one she herself came in. allowing you to lead me.” The one I left in.” “I’ve already told you, Avon, I’m not asking “And then?” you to trust me. Just think about it. You and A much-too casual shrug, the recitation of me and Vila, the three of us back together facts as if they were from someone else’s again. Look, neither one of us is accomplishing story. “Another so-called medical centre. More much on our own, are we? But together… We 108 so-called treatment.” His voice was rising, the could be a brilliant team. And I would listen ▼▼▼ thin sheen of agony colouring it. “More mind- to you this time. I’ve learned a lot, most of it fucking, more pain, more—” he took a breath, unpleasantly, and I won’t be so unwilling to filling his lungs with the spurious warmth of listen to common sense this time. Just think the air. “Anyway, after some time, how long I about it, Avon. The three of us. You know Vila honestly can’t say, there was an opportunity would jump at the chance to join up with me and I took it. A fluke—I was on my way for a again. If he were to do that, and you were with treatment when the power cut out. I was able him, it wouldn’t take any time at all to sort the to down my guard and crawl out of the lift into pair of you out again.” the shaft. Made it out, lived rough, dodged the “Still using Vila to get me to leap through patrols by sheer good luck, made it to the hoops?” space port. Used some of the tricks Vila “Quite frankly, yes, I hope so. Damn it all, taught us, fiddled with the ticket computers Avon, I need you. I’ve been looking for you, the way you taught me, then eventually trying to get in touch with you again. We jumped ship where Servalan couldn’t get neither of us stand a chance of doing it on our me.” own. Together…” And it was then that the real suspicion “Together we can be killed just as easily.” rose, coiling around Avon’s throat and “No. It won’t be like that. You’d be on base, strangling him. Too easy, it had been too easy Avon, taking care of all the computer systems for Blake to get away. As for Servalan not and running the administration side of things. being able to get him—Avon didn’t believe All the power and none of the ‘running round such a place existed, not in the realms of the the galaxy being shot at’. D’you remember the living, anyway. Too easy, too pat, too neatly night you told me that? About how much you done. wanted to be able to go back to a sane life and And now here was Blake, turning up like research? That’s what I’m offering you, Avon, the proverbial bad penny, asking Avon and and Vila to boot.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Avon cringed at that, the faintest shrinking “And if I agree, I’m letting you lead me again away, but Blake noticed. “Obviously, you’re and if I don’t—” not the only one with an interesting choice of “Then you’re cutting your nose off to spite phrase. Does he…do you…” your face.” “No he doesn’t, which is why I don’t. Keep “Getting bloodthirsty in your old age, aren’t out of my bedroom, Blake or else—” he you?” laughed suddenly and genuinely, the sound “No, only paranoid. I try to avoid blood a glorious rainbow in the salacious gloom. these days. I’ve seen my fill of it.” “Another interesting choice of phrase, con- “Not to mention having more than your sidering we’re sitting in a brothel and I was share of blood on your hands.” somewhat…occupied when you found me. “Enough, Avon! I’ve paid for my past, more By the way, how did you find me, Blake?” than paid and in ways I wouldn’t wish on my Such subtle suspicion in that melodious worst enemy. Your pettiness isn’t worth the voice, but sharp enough to flay. air it takes to say. Just leave it alone.” “I…” and Blake blushed, which was rather “One more question, Blake, and then I’ll be startling considering where they were and finished. Would you destroy Star One, if you what Avon had been up to when Blake had had the chance?” seen him. “To be honest, I heard you scream The eyes may be the window to the soul, and I thought you were in pain, and dan- but Blake’s opened straight into hell. “Not if ger…” my life depended on it.” “And you came racing to the rescue like the Avon believed him, and found a jagged saint in battered halo that you are. Well, I was relief in that, as comfortable and as painfilled in pain, but only the nicest sort and as for as going back the home of one’s childhood. danger…the only danger I was in was being “And would you betray me again?” fucked to death and considering how I’m “Only one question, Avon. But I’ll answer probably going to end up going, that doesn’t you anyway.” 109 ▼▼▼ seem like such a bad idea after all, does it?” “Generous as ever, I see.” “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t “I didn’t even want to betray you the first survive to a ripe old age if you come to my time, Avon. What they put me through, what base. No danger for you, Avon. No risks, no I endured…but in the end, I couldn’t help fighting any more battles, never being shot at myself. I told them, Avon, every blessed thing again…” they wanted to know and a lot besides. Can “You make it sound like Eden. So who is it you imagine what it’s like, to be so broken who’s the Serpent, Blake?” that you look forward to the next interroga- Blake grinned at him, as if the years had tion because it might kill you? Or sinking so never been between them. “I was rather low that you look forward to the next inter- hoping that you would take that rôle on, rogation because at least it’s human contact? Avon.” Of looking forward to pain because it means “What? An invitation from the messiah to that someone is paying attention to you, that play Satan? Tut, tut, Blake, really. You’ll have you still matter?” the Federation after us for illicit religion.” It was Avon’s turn to look at the metal bars “Chance would be a fine thing! But think looming at their back. “Oh, I can do better about it, Avon, don’t turn me down out of than imagine. I know, Blake, and I know what hand just because of the past. After all,” the it is to do penance. And before you fall over master manipulator said, going on things any of your half-cocked psychoanalysis, I half-said and hinted at, adding in his also know what it is to look forward to pain for knowledge of Avon and of Vila, stirring the no other reason than it feels rather pleasant.” whole thing up, “how can I make the past up “You never were one for a simple response to you if you won’t even listen to me? If you when contradictions could work, were you?” won’t give me a second chance? At least talk “If you mean that I’m not a simpleton like to Vila about it…” you or Tarrant…”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Tarrant?” former? A revolution without bloodshed? Avon looked askance at him for that, a That’s ridiculous, Blake.” simple fact that half the Galaxy knew but “Not for you and me, Avon. We’re out of it, which Blake, a rebel leader, was all unaware. that part of it. We’re the ones behind the “My pilot,” he said with dreadful mildness. scenes, the ones making the decisions, the “Del Tarrant. You’d know him the minute you ones—” saw him—as stupid as a snail and enthusi- “Pulling the strings and sending the hap- astic as a puppy dog’s tail.” less minions to die for the glory of the Cause. “Oh, yes, that’s right. Is he back on Xenon All you are doing is offering me the same Base, or did he fly you here?” parasitical position that you had on Liberator.” Now, Xenon Base was a rather well-guarded “Nonsense. On the Liberator, I fought be- secret, even with the rebels, and Avon found side all of you.” it interesting in the extreme that Blake should “I remember rather a lot of times when you know about it—and that Blake should let would stay behind, or meet with rebel leaders that knowledge slip. Just what, precisely, and leave the rest of us to get on with it.” was Blake trying to tell him here, with his “Name once, just once!” protestations of not meaning to betray him “Plystra.” but being helpless? And with that frothy “Vicious, Avon, that was vicious.” concoction about the escape? It was, quite “How would you know—you weren’t there.” obviously, time to ask Orac a few very perti- “I would have been, but you know that nent questions. “Tarrant’s around some- Avalon needed me to meet the leaders of a where—but not in here. Rather too sophisti- non-aligned planet who could have—” cated for his taste. He prefers his experiences “Could have but didn’t, did they? You to be…more straightforward.” wasted your time and you almost wasted my “The way I do?” life. I could have died on that dust-bowl, 110 “The way you used to.” Blake, and Vila came too close to it for my ▼▼▼ “The way I still do, Avon.” taste. And all you’re offering me is the op- “Then what was that crap about sleeping portunity to sit on my spreading backside like with me if that’s what I needed?” you whilst the little people go off to do and “After what happened to me when Travis die.” and the others had me, having sex with a Blake was on his feet, pacing, running his friend doesn’t seem like too much to bear.” hands through his hair, the very picture of “But it was before, is that it?” Dangerous distress. “All right, all right,” he said, “you can now, old memories dug up from where they have what you want. If you want to be sent had lain. into situations, then I shall have you go. If you “I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. want to do nothing more than work on the I’m sorry, I apologise, but I just don’t fancy computers and do your research, then you men. Nothing complicated, nothing personal, shall do that.” He came back to crouch down no reflection on you. And I wish it could have in front of Avon and Avon was suddenly been different between us. I wish that we’d swimming in Blake’s nakedness, eyes hooked been the same, one way or another.” on the pendulous swing Blake’s heavy balls, “How very noble of you. I must—” on the mouth-watering curve of his cock, on “—give me another chance. Give yourself the intoxicating scent of his musk. He had another chance. That’s all I ask.” lusted after Blake for so long, in an unholy “For now. But how long will it be until alliance of desire and need, with Blake always you’re manhandling me into doing your dirty keeping one step ahead, always out of reach. work for you?” And now here the bastard was, offering him “There isn’t any ‘dirty work’ any more, the sun and the moon and the stars, and still Avon. I’ve told you, I don’t trust myself for out of reach, still just talking, doing nothing. that.” “Just think, Avon, you’d have the time, finally, “Well, at least the latter is sensible, but the to work on matter transformation. You could

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ be the one to solve the secret of the M’tsian thing,” he said again, staring at Avon staring alchemists. You could do that, if you come at him, staring at the ponderous rise of Avon’s with me.” sex as the noise from the outside harbinged And how the hell did you know about that? in reality. “Anything at all,” he whispered, The only ones who know about that are leaning forward until his entire vision was myself, Orac and whoever reads the fake Avon’s face, then Avon’s eyes, then the red- programmes I set up to cover my tracks in the glow darkness of the inside of his own mind Federation’s main computer bank. So who as his eyes closed and his mouth opened and told you, Blake? Who’s pulling your strings godohgodohgod he was kissing Avon. Who whilst you’re pulling mine? As if he really was kissing him back with a ferociousness needed to ask. There was only the one pos- born out of years of denial, and out of weeks sible answer. of rejection. Servalan. No, no, Avon told himself, don’t think Who else indeed? Not Blake, not poor about Vila, he doesn’t want you. Blake’s here, puppet Blake. All those scars—nothing after all this time, I’m going to have Blake and compared to what must lie within. Offering nothing’s going to stop me, nothing’s going to him anything to keep him happy, to bring him spoil it— to heel. To reel him in to Servalan’s grasp. —not even knowing, his conscience snarled Come into my parlour… at him, that he’s doing it because he’s been “Anything, Avon,” Blake was saying. “I’ll programmed to do whatever it takes to get you give you anything you want, anything you to this base of his? Oh yes, oh yes, but he’s need, if you’ll only come with me.” kissing me and his cock is hot and he’s Did she programme you immediately, he getting hard. Feel that? From me, touching wondered to himself, watching Blake all the him, he’s getting hard for me, see, he does while, unable to take his eyes off him. Or did want me, shed his inhibitions, he wants me, she wait until she’d broken you? You never he wants me— 111 ▼▼▼ mentioned her coming in to you and that’s —even if it’s only for this second, this mo- the most telling of all. She wouldn’t have been ment of programming? Fuck yes, I’ll take what able to resist the temptation, would she? And I’m offered, and enjoy it. Feel him tremble she was on Terminal, when I couldn’t rescue under my hands, feel his balls quiver. Hear you because you were so damaged and bat- that? He’s moaning and it’s because he likes tered and drugged you were chained to those it. Feel how hard he is, feel how much he’s machines and trapped in that bed— enjoying this— Your feet were dirty. If you had been tor- —and how will he feel afterwards? Why the tured so that you couldn’t even walk, then fuck should I care? He’s gong to kill me before why the hell were your feet dirty? She had you we’re done, you know that. So shut up and let completely in thrall even then, didn’t she? me have what I want while I can and— Didn’t take her long at all, did it? So much —and what about Vila? Vila can fuck shame for having broken under a torture Tarrant until he’s blue in the face. I don’t own regime that no-one could resist: is your shame him, he doesn’t own me, what’s Vila got to do because you broke before the real torture with this? You think he’d turn Blake down if began? Is that why you broke before Jenna? Blake offered it to him? Vila’s not that stupid. Fear can do that, you know. You’ve been But feel Blake, feel him, god, feel how smooth mind-wiped and ‘treated’ once before. Perhaps his chest is, soft as his rump, feel that? Feel it was the fear of that. Or perhaps it was that that tiny hole, and how strong the muscle is? all your freedom has been nothing but illu- That’s where I’m going, that’s where I’m going sion all along. to leave my mark on him. That’s where he’s Blake was staring at him, wide-eyed with going to belong to me, for a time. See how desperation, run out of words, run out of quickly he’s loosening up? Feel that? Feel his promises, no silver platter to hand Avon the body sucking my finger in, feel his mouth sun and the moon and the stars on. “Any- sucking my tongue in? Feel how much he

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

wants me, how hungry he is for me to fuck conscience asked, interestedly, reminding him. Hear him? Groaning and moaning and him of Vila and of his need when he came in carrying on. Touching me, grabbing my cock, here to be fucked, repeatedly and often, by stroking me, pulling at me, and sucking on any man who wanted him. Anything to free my nipples, biting me, hands all over me, himself from that tacit bond with Vila. And tugging my balls, stroking me, stroking me, instead, he’d tangled everything up, hanging hands covering all of me, wetness on my cock, himself on too much rope. What the hell was ohfuckinggod, he’s sucking me! Feel that? he supposed to do now? Help Blake up, for Would he do that if he didn’t want me? All the starters, he thought, suiting action to thought, way down his throat, swallowing, ohgod he’s lifting Blake to his feet, even if he couldn’t wonderful. And now he’s got me wet, you see quite meet his eyes. “Are you all right?” he what he’s doing? See him— asked. —see him what? See him present himself Blake collapsed to the floor, cradling his like a bitch on heat? See him show his arse like head in his hands, sobbing and sobbing as if a well-trained slave? Or like a man who wants he could force his soul out of his mouth to let to be fucked. Don’t pretend, you can’t pretend him die. “I don’t want to do this, I can’t do to me, you are me and we both know what it’s this,” the words were breaking from him. like to kneel like that, with the floor hard and “Please don’t make me do this!” digging into my knees, and someone’s hands Horrified, Avon staggered back, hand go- on my backside. But it’s better for him, don’t ing to his mouth in an instinctual gesture of you see that? After all the times they abused self-revulsion. My god, I’ve raped him. I was him, I’m showing him what it can be when it’s so wrapped up in me, I’ve raped him, ohgod— not done out of hate, when it’s— “Avon! Kerr, don’t you leave me too. Not —don’t even think it. You can’t pretend to you. Hold me, Avon, hold me, don’t let me go. me, either. It’s not love and you know it. It’s Don’t let them make me…” 112 something, close, but not what you felt for Before he knew it was going to happen, he ▼▼▼ Anna, not what— Don’t you even think his was there, on his knees, holding Blake in his name. Vila’s got nothing to do with this. He’s arms in present echo of past loss. Then, it had not here because he chose not to be. But been in the empty gullet of Control Central, Blake is and he wants it. He wants me to fuck now it was in the deserted island of brothel him. Look at him, look! He’s spreading him- cul-de-sac. Not that it made much difference: self for me, look at the way he’s trying to reach he was still holding Blake, cradling him, me to shove my prick up him. Oh feel him, feel watching him with wall-eyed concern, pro- his hand grabbing me. Feel how tight he is, tecting him not from the enemy, but from the ohh, he’s so tight, so fucking tight and feel quisling that lived inside Blake. But now, him heave and shove under me, ramming me away from eyes that pried, away from those into him harder. Clutching at me like that, who would jeer, away from those who would tighter than a glove, so smooth, incredibly be jealous—away from the barrier of Blake’s smooth and so fucking strong, and hot, own heterosexuality—he was free to cuddle ohgod he’s so hot and smooth and he wants as well as hold, to stroke curls that sprang up me, oh, god, oh, yes, yes, yessss— to entrap his fingers in their tangle. As Blake And Avon was sprawled over Blake, chest had done him… plastered to Blake’s sweating back, cock Trapped. Oh, he was trapped, definitively gradually fading to limpness within the satin and irrevocably trapped, and by something glove of Blake’s body. A ragged breath, disbelief he could never escape from: his own emotions. slithering in to shiver along his spine. He had And who said it was lying that wove a tangled just fucked Blake. Straight Blake, who was web? Telling himself the truth seemed to be the only man who’d ever had the chance to tying him up rather tightly. But Blake, the turn Avon down more than once. The only stupid, idiotic maniac, was far worse off than man he’d ever pursued, the only man he’d Avon could ever be. At least what had hap- considered letting fuck him. Oh really, his pened to Avon had been just ‘one of those

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ things’, not some malicious collusion—un- Terminal—was this what she did to you in a less you chose to blame Fate and the Universe. fit of temper for not snaring me thoroughly? Just one of those things. What a mindlessly Or was it out of pique because I ultimately small phrase to describe something that was escaped and she lost the Liberator? Oh, what going to change his life so very much. Which will she do to you if you go back without me? was going to change Vila’s life so much… He Blake was standing, slowly, hand going to looked inside himself, expecting—hoping— the small of his back, eyes crinkling in a to find nothing more than an ashen infatu- smile. “I’m not used to this kind of thing, you ation being subsumed by the greater love know. Although I don’t suppose I’ll be able to he’d been harbouring, all unspoken, all un- say that for long, shall I?” seen, for all these years for a man who had And if he had thought he had an escape wanted it only insofar as it helped his Cause before, in that moment, with that smile, with or gave him friendship. And now? that openness, Avon knew he was lost. So And now there were possibilities, now there what if it were programmed? What if it weren’t? were hopes, now there were doors open and What if he were to run now, wouldn’t he just paths stretching out towards— be doing the impossible—running away from —Gauda Prime. Servalan. Whatever nasty himself? And even if he were to run, how long little surprise Servalan had waiting for them. would it be before he was waking up from “Blake,” he said, urgently, breath weaving dreams in which Blake loved him and he was into the lushness of curls, “we don’t have to able to love Blake back? Just like his dreams go to Gauda Prime. You could come with me, with Vila… to Xenon, then we could take my ship and go We are condemned to repeat our past, anywhere in the Universe, somewhere where unless we learn from it. Avon was no fool: he no-one could ever find us. We could—” knew what would happen if he walked out on “No. I have to go to Gauda Prime. I…have Blake now. Knew the loss he would suffer. to. There’s so much for me to do there, so Knew the nightmare it would be, waiting for 113 ▼▼▼ many people waiting for me—” some new disfigurement of Blake to turn up —I’ll just bet there are, Avon thought when he was least expecting the spectre. bitterly. And I know what her name is. Knew that it was only a matter of time before “So much to do, I really must go back,” and Servalan found him, before she had him in Blake’s voice was changing, losing its confused some trap he hadn’t seen before it snapped child tone, sounding more and more like his shut. He knew it all… No choice, really, apart old self with every word he spoke. “Deva is from to go into the valley of the shadow with expecting me back—we have several new his eyes wide open and fore-warned and fore- people coming in to discuss possible alliance armed. With Blake where he could see him, with us. We even have some Federation not creeping up behind him to betray him deserters on their way, with information and again. With Vila, perhaps, with them both. resources that could decide what the fate of There was room for Vila, wasn’t there? If Vila the Rebellion will be.” would ever so much as speak to him again… I’ll just bet there are, Avon repeated the “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he said, not thought, this time with a weary depression noticing that he hadn’t answered Blake’s that enervated him. Oh, yes, they’ll be com- question, not seeing the sudden concern flare ing, hiding in plain sight and you shall wel- in Blake’s eyes, unaware of Blake’s worry that come them in, my poor deluded fearless Avon didn’t seem quite right… “The others leader, and they shall surely kill you. Unless, can follow in the Scorpio, but if I can, I’ll bring of course, they decide to keep you alive as bait Vila with me.” to try, try again to get me. How often, I But not Orac, he was thinking. I won’t let wonder, will I find you on my doorstep and in her get her hands on Orac, she got the what kind of a state? Look at you, all battered Liberator, she got Cally and she can try to get and scarred and bowed. What will they do to me, but I won’t let her loose on the Galaxy you next time? You weren’t in this mess on with that amoral machine to play with.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ CA▼EAT EMPTOR ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

He didn’t hear Blake’s last comment, was one too many. No matter if he convinced completely unaware of the unimportant de- himself that he still had plenty of options, tails around him whilst his mind raced to that he still had a twist of paths open to him, cover every possible eventuality before he there was only one road, with only one person confronted Servalan. If he were to go in at the end. He was going to have to face her, prepared, if he were ready for her and she once and for all, show-down time, duel, joust, didn’t know that he knew then… whatever they chose to call it, that was where, Blake was just standing there, face furrowed ultimately, all paths led. Oh, yes, his death in a frown, staring after Avon, watching him and Blake’s were surely linked: he just wished leave, watching his future walk away in a he could say the same thing about their lives. world all his own. But…that was not to be. All that remained for Avon had said it himself once before: that him now, was to choose the battlefield upon his death and Blake’s would be linked. And which he was to die. he was, unfortunately, sadly, right, thanks to Without a backward glance at his fate, Servalan, thanks to his own recalcitrant heart Avon went to get Vila. that was foolish enough to love too well—and

114 ▼▼▼

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼V ENERY ▼ Before death. Separated in space, Blake ▼ and Avon and Vila remain inexorably tied to ▼ ▼ each other. Who desires whom? And who is ▼ ▼ hunting whom? The third of the Venery tales. ▼ ▼ Before the death of venery. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ H E WAS BEGINNING TO WONDER IF a healing, apart from assorted scrapes and 115 ▼ ▼▼▼ anything was worth anything at all. In fact, he close shaves, to wander round world after was quite sure that nothing was worth very world, unknown and not responsible for any much, but there were still a few faint scraps life but his own. Purest luxury, purest free- of meat clinging to the bare bones of his dom, even though there was a price on his idealism. And those few, faint scraps had a head and a shackle on his heart. He had name: Avon. An anti-hero if ever one had missed Avon, and all the others, but not been born, but a man who was still fighting enough to lose this precious freedom, and the good fight, struggling to make inroads certainly not enough to take the risk of into the Federation. Blake scratched at the degenerating once more into the man he’d scar over his eye, the flesh bothering him in been towards the end. He shuddered every the forest’s damp. He didn’t particularly like time he thought of what he had planned, and to remember how he had come by that scar, why. At night, sometimes, when most of the so much of the latter two years of his life best forest noises had gone to sleep, his own voice left unremembered, for they were more than would come into his dreams, with an endless mourned enough. Two full years, two entire recitation of what he had said that day when years, wasted. By him, he admitted, shoul- they had been preparing to teleport to Star dering his burden of guilt, and with no-one One itself. Endless recitations and endless else to blame. It was his own fault that he’d variations on the same theme: I have to be done nothing: after all, he could have con- right, otherwise it will all have been senseless tacted Avon any time he had wanted to. An killing and destruction. And to think that he easy man to find, was anyone with Orac as his had been so over the edge that killing and ears. destroying on an even grander scale had But he hadn’t wanted to face Avon, had seemed like the answer. grabbed the rescue from that life—and the But it hadn’t really been about that, though, man he’d been—with both hands. It had been had it? It had all been about himself and

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Avon, and what the Federation had done to over-zealous Federation ship didn’t take a him. What the Federation, he thought, had pot-shot at them, if they managed to survive stolen from him. With unwarranted vicious- intact, then he had known he would still have ness to a defenceless little camp-fire, he to leave. jabbed it with a stick, a flurry of sparks To think that he’d been willing to destroy shimmering up to the sky like would-be billions, all to keep the upper hand with Avon. stars. He followed the sight, experience tell- And, to be honest, to keep his own mind ing him that the handkerchief of sky between firmly in thrall to his chosen course of action. the tree tops held rain and probably lightning He was no longer so scared of losing himself too. Time to go back to base, back to Deva and and who he was if he were to fail. He had, after back to the run-of-the-mill problems. Time to all, failed and rather spectacularly at that, yet relegate Avon back where he should leave here he was, surer of who and what he was him: in the past. since…in fact, since long before the mindwipe. Yet, he stayed where he was, hunched The adolescent’s need to prove himself a man before the atavistic comfort of a fire, thinking was gone, the brain-rape victim’s need to of Avon’s supremely sophisticated complex- prove himself in control was gone, the clay- ity. He could lose himself inside Avon for a footed hero’s need to be right at all costs week and still be no closer to fathoming the was… man. For every action, there is a reaction, or, He shoved a stick through the rabbit-thing in Avon’s case, for ever action, there is a he’d caught, skewering it as neatly as his own contradiction. Never the same thing twice, for conundrums had him. Face set, twisted by even if the same words were used, the intona- the scars that he explained fully to no-one, tion would be different, the subtle nuances least of all himself, he propped the raw meat would have changed, and god help the man over the fire, listening as the crackle of the fire who didn’t notice. Avon would have you gave way to the hiss and spit of fat meeting 116 verbally hung, drawn and quartered before flame. That was a sound that struck a chord ▼▼▼ you could draw breath in self-defence. Which in him, reminding him of how many times his was all, he knew by the stirring of interest in fat had been in the fire, as they said, these two his groin, part of Avon’s addictive charm and years past. It was then, perhaps, that he’d dark beauty. Although that beauty had new first begun his yearning to have Avon back. lines now, not so many as Blake himself had, There was always the awareness that there but enough to remind them both that time was nothing at his back, as if he were standing was passing at a double-quick march, hur- on a cliff: he didn’t need to look behind tling away from them, beyond any and all himself to sense the chasm. At his base, efforts at recall. sometimes, he swore he could hear the wind He considered the desirability of staying whistling behind him every time he turned a dry over the penalty of returning to civilisation corner and was confronted by his spacecraft- with its prying eyes and interminable ques- like command centre. Or the rest room, or the tions. Naturally, getting wet became a minor bedding that had been ‘borrowed’ from inconvenience. There was so much still to spacecraft. ‘Liberated’, as his people were so think about. Was it, for instance, time to fond of saying. allow Avon to find him? It had been difficult He turned the cooking meal, half-smiling to avoid, but it was Avon’s own tricks that had as the flesh seared in the heat from the fire. made it possible: it was Avon who had let slip Not even Deva, bless his intellectual but about being able to put prior-to-the-event simple mind, had had the insight to notice voice-lock commands into Orac. Even as he’d how much Blake hated the use of that word. lain on his bunk in the Liberator, the bunk It always, and he knew he was being foolish he’d had sex with Avon in so many times, he’d for this, seemed to be a sullying of what known that if anything were to happen, he Liberator had been to him. In retrospect, of wasn’t coming back to the ship. Or Avon. If course. A few more twigs added to the fire, the the Andromedans didn’t get them, if some redolent ones from the low bush that was so

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ hard to find these days. He got back down on Federation to its knees and with the mini- his hunkers, watching the fire, drawing more mum of bloodshed. Step in, take over the ex- than physical comfort from it. Rain scented isting reins and start running things the way the air and the ground felt damp in antici- the ought to be: for the benefit of the people. pation, but he ignored that. After that time Gods, but he missed Avon. Of all the people the bounty-hunter had caught him, he could that he was doing this for, the only one that still find it in him to enjoy such minor dis- had a face was Avon. And to be honest, the comforts. Nothing like a good sadist to teach others didn’t matter quite the same way, not a man to appreciate the mundanity of small on such an intense personal level. Hardly aches and pains. surprising, of course, for you can’t love His fists clenched with the effort not to someone the way he loved Avon and simply break something or hurl something or kill stop doing things to make life better for him. something. But then again, look at the car- But the doing was going to be different this cass on his spit—he’d already succumbed to time round. This time, there’d be no whole- those 3 temptations today. Primitive hunting sale destructions, no lives lost that didn’t for very sophisticated needs that were, in deserve to be lost, no-one removed who hadn’t themselves, nothing more than the basic earned it over and over. human drives of survival and revenge. One Servalan. He poked at the animal on the half of his face twisted in a grimace to match spit, piercing the skin, a gush of fat shooting the permanent damage of the other, giving out to flare, briefly, before the flames con- his face a mask of feral pleasure. Oh, how he sumed it. The things that woman deserved— had avenged himself upon that bounty- were things he wouldn’t do. He wasn’t going hunter. Taking his name and identity, taking to devolve into what she was. All of a sudden, over his reputation and luring all the other the mossy hummock struck him as terribly bastards to their dooms, what sweet ven- uncomfortable and he moved, abandoning geance that was. He still savoured it, though his dinner, getting up to walk away from the 117 ▼▼▼ not as often now as before, since he’d erased domesticity of the fire. She was too close, in so many names from the rosters of those who some of the things she’d done, to what he’d sold others out to the Federation. And what done himself. Especially where Avon was better way, as he was wont to argue, was concerned. Most especially there, if his spies there to repay that sort than by doing unto were to be trusted. If what that turncoat from them what they’d been doing unto others? Servalan’s own staff said was true… Find them, snare them, interrogate them. If He dreaded to think what it would have they were useful, bring them into the flock. If done to himself, to have suffered as Avon had they were useless to anyone, then set the done at Servalan’s hands on Terminal. But it small fry free to lure in the big fish. And if they told Blake something, something that was, in were scum, then sell them to the Federation its own way, worth Avon’s pain. It told him for as much money as possible. Perfect, that he, Blake, mattered so much to Avon really. They all got what they deserved that that to Servalan, Blake was the greatest way—and he got money for weapons and food weapon of all to use on Avon. His feet were and shelter. He had money to buy the infor- leading him back to his fire and his eyes were mation they needed to set this base up, to get smiling as he thought of that. There was a the ground forces in place. All right, so they warmth spreading from his heart to his balls, weren’t quite ready yet to move—no more just from thinking about how much he must lightning stings that made no difference in mean to Avon, for Avon to lose both Liberator the long run for him, not after Liberator—but and Cally. As for the message Servalan had they would be, eventually. Once he’d cemented used to bring Avon in, the claim that it was the deal with the Nostra and once he’d per- from Blake, asking Avon to come back, to join suaded that recalcitrant lot back on Earth to him at the base he’d set up… come back to the fold, then they could make And Avon had come running. Scurrying their move. Single, fast, decisive, bring the back because he believed Blake to have

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

crooked his little finger. Seating himself in worth rather more than Blake had ever cared front of the snaking flames, Blake’s expres- to admit, so there was something in life that sion was one of profound satisfaction, as he was of value. If he was taking a second shot contemplated the image of Avon, running to at dethroning the oppressors, then why not him; of Avon, needing him; of Avon, missing take a second chance of making Avon and him. He hugged his knees in lieu of Avon, himself happy? After all, Servalan’s nasty whilst he stared into the beauty of the fire, little trick had shown him just how the reliving the beauty of a very different kind of ground lay with Avon. He could make it a fire. A bonfire, a conflagration, a never-dying wonderful surprise, take the bitter taste of torch of flame, that was what they’d had that treacherous defeat out of Avon’s mouth. together. Heat curled through him, as if Make him smile, that wonderful, glorious Avon’s hands were on him again, as if Avon smile. were prostrate in front of him, a salaam to Yes. love. He could have all of that again; Servalan That’s what he would do. Have Avon at his had shown him that by the bait she’d used to side again, standing up to Servalan—or Sleer sweeten her traps for Avon. as she called herself these days, not that After all, if Avon were to come racing for a anyone was unaware of the truth—together, set-up, then how much more likely was he to fighting an enemy that wasn’t each other. It hurry to the truth? This time, the message thrilled him to the bone that Avon, after could be real; this time, the base would be Terminal, would surely accept that he loved genuine, not some trap to rip at his mind. Blake. Add to that the fact that Avon already This time, the words of love would be nothing knew that Blake loved him, and the sum of less than the truth. And this time, his course that was happiness. They could be together, of action, his deeds, would honestly be for the truly together. There was an abundance of good of his people, not a side-show to impress space at the base, and no-one there would bat 118 Avon. Not this time. an eyelid if Blake were to live with a man— ▼▼▼ It would be different, this time. He lifted the well, none of them would object if they ever for meat from the fire, burning his fingers in the a second thought that Blake would find out. process, gasping and blowing as he began He believed in discipline, and so did they, eating, too impatient these days to waste a seeing the necessity of it in such a closely single second. Too many near-misses to throw woven community who had so much cause to time away, or to waste it on existing instead distrust outsiders. No, it would actually be of living. Leaning back on the hummock, easier to live with Avon at the base than on fingers and face dripping juice from his din- Liberator—no Jenna poking her nose in, no ner, lips gleaming in the firelight, eyes glint- Cally eavesdropping their minds, no Vila ing with decision, he knew that yet again he hanging around like a streak of misery. was exonerated in his need to come out here The carcass was thrown into the fire, the where the planet was tamed but the people remnants of meat charring blackly, the last of were still undomesticated. It freed his mind in the blood consumed. Not that he was going to a way the stiff metal confines at the base get rid of Vila, of course, nor these other three never could. It opened him up to himself, and that Avon seemed to have taken up with. that was something he could never dare do They were useful, obviously, else Avon would with all his people around him, looking to him never have them around him. There would be for decisions and leadership. No, coming out jobs for them, probably helping to set up here was perfect for him. No matter how other bases and the like. But Avon would stay depressed he might be, give him a few hours here, with him, on Gauda Prime. Together. out here where he was completely alone, with The two of them. Nothing to come between nothing to prop him up, nothing to distract them. Oh, that would take all the grey out of him, and he’d find his way back to a level his life, that would put the sparkle back into mind. As he had today. his campaign. That would put some love back So nothing was worth anything? Avon was in his life.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

The fire died under the weight of dirt kicked tucked up in bed out of his way. He picked at over it, one small flare leaping out through a his snack, for once indulging his sweet tooth, gap in the soil, until another flurry of muck the confection smooth and creamy in his suffocated it. Automatically, as he did every mouth. He drew Orac another dirty look, time he came out on one of these walks, Blake caring not a damn that the infernal machine scattered all traces of his passing, leaving the couldn’t see it. After all, he was venting his clearing looking as if any careless tramp had spleen for his own benefit, not a pile of flash paused there. Whistling, he set back of towards components. his base, laughing out loud with his joy for life But still, his sweet was not quite so heavenly as the skies opened and drowned him in great as it had been before Orac had informed him plashing drops of rain. Instantly, the rich soil that it knew where Blake had been, but could beneath his boots became black and viscid, not find him as yet. It could, and did, give him sucking with every step he took, reluctant to a recital of every rumour spread about Blake, let him go. But not even that could darken his both pro and con, giving special attention the mood: the pull on his muscles told him that less salubrious tales. Now, at least, Avon this was him firming up again, and he’d have knew that Blake was reputed to be a perverted to do that for Avon, wouldn’t he? Couldn’t voyeur who liked to watch two men have sex have a man come back after two years and let whilst Blake sank his teeth into leather. him see just how low he’d sunk. And he’d Wonderful. Tell him something he didn’t al- have to make up for this scar, so if his face ready know. Such as where the bastard was. couldn’t be worth looking at, then he’d make The hexagonal whiteness of the plate was his body a work of art. streaked with the blood red of raspberry and His mind was teeming with enthusiasm as the brown of chocolate when he pushed it he worked out the details of his plan. Contact away, already completely dismissed from his Avon—but not through Orac, that would mind and the sweetness in his mouth replaced bring Avon here long before Blake had time to by the bitter taste of defeat. 119 ▼▼▼ prepare himself and get everything set up the He was tired of losing. Very tired of losing. way Avon would like it—ask him to come to In fact, tired to the point where he wanted to the base, offer him love and riches, just as shove it all back at Blake, to dump it on his Servalan had in his name before. But this shoulders and let himself simply walk away— time would be different. This time it would be to disappear as effectively as Blake had. And real, and it would be a second chance. with more cause. That damned shuttle… He was still whistling and smiling as he Vila’s damned attitude… His own damned entered his base, going to take care of busi- soul… ness before he contacted Avon. He had things The flimsies on his desk whirred in the to do before he had Avon come here. Things sudden gust of air, resettling only when their to set up for their new beginning. maker had rushed from the room, leaving them in a tiny pool of lamp-light, with Orac OH, WELL THAT MADE IT ALL WORTH WHILE, HE buzzing and blinking in the dark. Footsteps SUPPOSED, GLOWERING AT ORAC, FURIOUS WITH THE did not echo, although they should, given the MACHINE FOR TAKING SO LONG TO DO SO SIMPLE A TASK. acoustic dynamics of this corridor. The It was hardly as if it had been told to do trapdoor was unnaturally silent also, giving anything difficult, was it? Find Blake. That notice of the careful maintenance it now was all. Surely it should be simple enough to received. Light from the corridor spilled find a man who had such a propensity for hesitantly into the hole, seeping down to curl trouble? Not to mention glorious speeches round the spiral staircase, limning the mist that always seemed to inspire so many to race that roiled there in permanent unease. Yet, it in where the insane were too damned sensible was here he found the closest thing to peace to tread. So why was finding him so beyond of mind, for nothing he was feeling seemed to Orac’s admittedly impressive capacities? be worth much anguishing over, compared to Xenon Base was pre-dawn silent, even Dayna the subliminal scream that echoed and ech-

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

oed round this room. The instant his feet were going to finally reach some kind of landed on the stone floor, he could hear it, decision. Such as, for instance, what he was although his ears swore there was not a going to do if that obsolete machine ever sound in here, apart from the thud of his managed to find Blake. Now there was a boots and the rasp of his own breath. There puzzle indeed. What was he to do? There was was a niche, over there in the far corner that no Liberator to hand over as symbol of what could have been shaped for him—or for the he, Avon, was renouncing. There was no unfortunates that Dorian had forced to be his badge of office, no title, no proclamation, only Creature. The sin in this place was palpable, his own revulsion at this möbius strip of and soothing for that. His own iniquities failure leading to failure. There wasn’t even a shrank in comparison, sinking without trace crew to hand over, as Blake had done to him, under the oily miasma left behind by the saddling him with the ones that didn’t get eternity of Dorian’s corruption. Seated on the away. He could always put Vila on a silver stone, with stone around him and leaden platter and hand him over, but after Malodaar, overhead, stilled pendulum of time fossilised the worm had turned. Strange, how much forever, he could look at himself without that had hurt, seeing Vila standing always at flinching. Well, perhaps that was too optimistic a distance, no longer allowing him close. Oh, an assessment, but he could, at least, man- they had, after a briefly antagonistic pause, age it without having to lie to himself in self- managed to progress to the stage of being in preservation. Which, he conceded with a the same room as each other without un- touch of his old ruefulness, was about all he sheathing the cutting comments and had left. wounding words, but all the rest had gone by And look, he recalled with a flash of the the board. If he were to even suggest sex now! new defeatism, where it has led me—into The one time he had tried… Well, perhaps almost as invidious a position as Blake would Vila might have come around, but it had 120 have. Or as Blake had, if accuracy were of horrified Avon, on a moral footing he denied ▼▼▼ interest. He was stuck here because of Blake, ever having even met, that he had used the because Blake had had enough, because same old voice of seduction that he had Blake was too big a coward to shoulder his prostituted into attempted…elimination. Not own burdens and clean up the mess he’d murder. Murder was what one did for profit made. So very like his own brother—the or pleasure, or out of blind rage, and he had ‘blond bombshell’ as Vila had so aptly dubbed done those, which was something he chose to him, Dru being one for either exploding at the live with. But the simple, unvarnished truth slightest trigger or being as much use as a was that he had been out to survive, and it dud—who had made a second career of get- was tough that Vila was the one who had to ting out of stews by landing them on someone die for Avon to live. else’s shoulders. So like Blake… The room whispered around him, the But then, if he were going to tar with that susuration of silken guilt, of liquid agony, of particular paintbrush, then he really ought grating grief for lives wasted. He could hear to include himself, ought he not? After all, his own voice, whispering to Vila on that who was it who had donned the mantle of damned shuttle as if they were home in bed leadership, not altogether reluctantly? It was rather than Vila skulking and him stalking in the cause, not the power he had objected to, a flying coffin. Had he not found Egrorian’s the obligations, not the responsibility. All little piece of treachery, he would have given he’d truly wanted was for it to be over, up his own charade and flushed Vila out, finished, dead and gone, and Blake with it, so even though he would have regretted that. that he himself could have taken the ship— But then, life is full of regrets… But one must his ship—and gone off to… make them small ones, which was why he No point in crying over spilled milk, was wanted, quite fervently, to shove this mess of there? No purpose could possibly be served a crusade back on Blake’s plate. Avon had by going over it again and again, unless he already lost more than enough to this point-

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ less struggle, and it was time to give it back himself, was he? He had already conceded where it belonged. He was neither hero nor that there was no symbol of the rebellion to be saviour of the people, had never claimed to be given back to Blake, nothing tangible, noth- any such absurdity, but here he was trying to ing that could even be put in words, not forge alliances with small-minded provincials really. To say that he was tired of the struggle who could hardly contain their glee when it could not even begin to cover it, nor could it came time to sell him out. Tawdry, tarnished ever begin to explicate what he was feeling. rebellions that were going nowhere, suc- And what, honestly, was he feeling? A wea- ceeding not at all, that were giving him nothing riness that was of the mind more than the but a life where a dank cave was his only body, although the years were taking more respite. than their fair toll there, too. A depression that No-one knew he came down here and had should never have been his lot in life. A bur- they known, none of them would ever follow den that he wanted to lay on someone else. him. Even Soolin had an almost superstitious He kept his face covered and his eyes dread of this room, while Dayna had declared closed, as if not seeing it would make the it evil. Those two—and Tarrant, for that world go away. If there was nothing to actu- matter—were horribly young and terribly ally give back to Blake, then why not simply naïve. They none of them seemed to see that stop? Why not simply go as thoroughly un- the evil in this room was purely human, was derground as Blake had, doffing the cause nothing more than the darker side of one and the fighting as if they were a pair of worn- man, trapped and contained for several life- out shoes that no longer fit comfortably? spans, true, but one man nonetheless. This Because, oh, because he wanted to see Blake, was the kind of evil Avon could understand to hand him not the cause but himself, to say very well: the Dorians and Servalans and to him, ‘let me lean on you, let me borrow from Travises of this race were far easier to com- your strength, let me breathe in some of your prehend than some supernatural fancy that faith’. He wanted, desperately, to find Blake 121 ▼▼▼ could supposedly strike from nowhere. No, again, for Blake had believed not only in human ‘evil’ he was as familiar with as his justice, but in Avon himself. Blake had believed own face—no difference, really, considering that love was their lot, not this enervating what he had come to do in order to simply erosion of self. Perhaps he had been wrong— survive. Another reason for finding Blake, yet in fact, Avon knew Blake had been wrong— another reason to add to the tottering but it was still there in Avon’s mind, neatly mountain of— covered by rose-coloured glasses and fes- Excuses. Sitting there in the echoing sor- tooned with the glowing patina of selective row of a soul suborned to human evil, it was hindsight: all the hopes, all the lofty ideals churlish to lie—it was also a habit he would and sweet promises. He knew, perfectly well, far rather not slide into. After all, look at what why those hopes lingered, why they had lying to oneself had done to Blake. He was, stuck in his mind while the memories of the actually, going to look at what it had done to rancorous arguments and the slow develop- Blake. Something he had to consider, ment of Blake’s clay feet had faded. He needed something he had to think about, clearly and the hope. So simple, so mundane, so pathetic. honestly, instead of this gadflying about from He needed to hope. one topic to another. Tiredness made his eyes Hope. That this—his life—was not all there ache and he covered his face, keeping the was, that there could be happiness and outside world completely at bay. He needed success and comfort. That there could be that now, far more than he ever had before, more freedom than running from the Fed- even when the wound in his life where Anna eration and being self-imprisoned on a lump had been was still oozing blood. He was, he of rock in a base that was, for all its luxury, knew, going to face Blake again. To give him still nothing more than a collection of prison back this waste of a Cause. To hand over the cells. Hope, that what Blake had promised reins. To… But he wasn’t supposed to lie to was still there, could still be claimed. Hope,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

that what Blake had professed to be might be Blake. All right, all right, and he was on his true, that the slow putrescence Avon had feet, pacing, pacing, pacing, going into the seen had been only his own jealousies and darker depths of the cave, where the eternal insecurities dancing with his cynicism. Hope. fog was the only light, the phosphorescent There was precious little of that round this glow lending the place a magic in Avon’s eyes. base now. Vila would say that there was none He stopped to run his fingers over one of the at all, he supposed, and quite rightly, too. odd…sculptures cut into the rock in flawless There was none there any longer, all their bas-relief. He could actually feel the stone years together come to nothing, and for no eyelashes on this one, and the roughness of reason but Vila’s foolish sentimentality. Idiot. skin where the…model…had needed to shave. What else had he expected Avon to do—go He suspected that he knew what against a life-time’s practice and lay down his these…sculptures…were, was quite sure that life so that he could die with his fellow man? they were, in some way, the people Dorian He never should have introduced the ignorant had used as the receptacles to wash away his bastard to those vis-tapes of Shakespeare— sins. Sometimes, Avon wished he could have or at least Romeo and Juliet. Trust Vila… such a convenience, but only if it took some He had, actually. Trusted Vila, with more of the memories with it. There was so much than he had realised until Vila was no longer of the past five years that he would much there to trust. No Vila to listen to him, late at rather forget, and some of it he had, mislaying night when life seemed so much darker than some of the bleaker aspects of his time with anything Nature could conjure. No Vila to Blake. And he had tried, so frightfully hard, to make him laugh with his deliberate or acci- hold onto the negatives of that era, to hang dental foolishness. No Vila to ease the stresses onto the harsh truths and not to yield to the away with massage or sex or even just tea and softness of dreams. But he found himself, company. No Vila telling him terrible jokes, or now that the rest of his life was unremitting, 122 following him around, or fetching things, or rain-slicked granite, wishing for the past with ▼▼▼ making him feel important and special. And the blind hopefulness of a child. A retarded loved. Peculiar how rancidly he missed that. child, he thought, smiling bitterly at himself, How many times had he complained to Vila but he couldn’t deny the need. for gazing at him as if he were god and orgasm He wandered back to where he had been all rolled into one? How many times had he sitting as his mind wandered back to what he stopped Vila before Vila could proclaim love? had been thinking, conceding that his reasons And how many times had he abandoned Vila for seeking Blake had nothing whatsoever to because someone else had snatched his af- do with the Cause, which he could always fection or his lust? Too many, obviously, for it abandon with as little fanfare as he had taken seemed that even Vila had a limit. And the un- it up with. No, there was nothing he wanted fortunate incident on the shuttle had been it. to give to Blake, but so much he wanted to Rather like himself and the unfortunate take. Some of that glassy-eyed idealism would incident of Star One. His fist hit the wall, skin do for starters, fair recompense for the dark scraping and blood smearing, and Avon and drear life he’d been living for so long. But watched in repulsed fascination as the wall most of all, he wanted some of that obsessive breathed and his blood was absorbed, not a love back. It would be worth the clinging and cell left behind. A shiver climbed the steps of the soothsayer proselytising to have the his spine, but he sat back down anyway. The fireworks back, to have some brightness to only thing in this room that had ever harmed leaven the dull grey that was all he seemed to him was Dorian, and he was long dead. see these days. Unless, of course, it was the Although, there was one other thing that had shimmering shriek of danger and the addictive hurt him in here and that was his own thrill of adrenalin. Fingers stroking the supple thoughts. How some of those had stung, as leather of his trousers, he pondered over just he sat here in honesty and solitude, reviewing how ‘hooked’ he was on the high that came his past. Reviewing his relationship with hand in hand with risk taking—or more to the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ point, the ecstasy that was the end result of always had been, to the point where Avon was danger, when the risk had been taken and he certain that it was only a matter of time before had survived yet again. He was, without Vila put Egrorian’s little trick behind them. In doubt, getting too, too fond of that and if he fact, there were distinct signs of a thaw weren’t careful… But if he were careful, the already and he was still avoiding thinking risks would be gone, and the highs with about Blake. them, leaving behind nothing but the deep He knew he was going to find Blake. He troughs that were so easy to slide into and so knew he was going to decline to lead Blake’s very hard to climb out of. useless cause any longer. He knew he was Ridiculous, really, that he of all people going to abdicate completely to Blake. should be suffering from a depression. That, And that he was going to abdicate himself surely, had been his father’s forte, as Avon’s to Blake, on a personal level? Did he know had been holding his head high and damning that, or was that merely something that the world to deny his lineage the way they had populated his dreams with weird and twisted denied him his heritage. Not that any of that visions of himself on his knees to someone? mattered very much now, sitting in the hol- The wall was warm when he leaned back low of a cave, a spiral staircase wending its against it, but that no longer surprised him. way back upstairs where there was a wealth He was well accustomed to the semi-life of of light and a small group of people. Whom he this room, far more sanguine about it, in fact, would be quite happy if he never saw again. than he was to the brutal honesty of his own He was tired of them, sick and tired of them, mind. piled on top of one another as they were. Their Avon needed to find Blake because he had faults grated on him like broken bone on lost his conscience and because he had lost bone, an endless grinding of teeth and his vision and because he had lost his way. tenseness of muscle, for that was all they He needed Blake, and finally, finally, was were to him now. Tarrant, moping around willing to admit it. After Terminal… Well, after 123 ▼▼▼ over that idiot girl—why, when it was her own Terminal it had become ever more difficult to stupidity that had killed her? Dayna, all deny the need he had for Blake to be his erupting enthusiasm, a new method of killing balance. And yet…he could not, quite, bring to be shared in minute detail over breakfast himself to trust Blake. Perhaps it was not so each day. Then there was Soolin, who thought much that he needed Blake to be his con- herself so tough and hard, but whose cynical science or to give him love. Perhaps all he witticisms were nothing more than whinges needed was to have Blake to stand before him against an unfair world. again, a mirror in whose reflection Avon had And not to forget, of course, Vila. Who always seen himself most clearly. Perhaps, would stare at him with an irritating mixture truly, it was nothing more than that. of loathing, mistrust and ‘why’d you kick Fingering a loose stud on his jacket, one me?’ hurt-pet look on his face. As if Vila had small section of his mind making a mental ever had cause to expect anything else. It was note to see to the repair, he searched the rest hardly as if Avon had misled him, or pretended of his mind to find the truth about himself that their relationship were more than it was. and Blake. All he found was the feeling that Good sex, good companionship, a fellow thief if he were to turn everything over to Blake, if and thus, someone who could offer under- he were with Blake again, if none of it were his standing. Even, for that matter, a fellow responsibility and everything were Blake’s Dome-bred Terran, albeit from absolutely fault once more, then there would yet be opposite classes. There was a certain world- hope. If he could simply take all this weight liness that came from being brought up in the and guilt and pain, mould it into a ball and Domes and he was, he knew, avoiding the then throw it at Blake… He would be free. It issue yet again. But it was always, even after would be over, it would be done, it would be the shuttle, easier to think about Vila than it finished and he would be free—of Blake was to think about Blake. Vila was safe and himself. And that, he recognised, was the

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

core of the truth, the real reason why he books, everything a man could want. He wanted to see Blake again. Not for the sex, nor loved coming here, to lie under the fur spread, the vitality nor even the hope and freedom the softness tickling his face ever so sweetly, from responsibilities, but it was because to drink one of Dorian’s good wines (he used Blake was the one loose end in his life that the muck for the daily consumption of those insisted on getting itself ensnared with every who couldn’t tell the difference between plonk other thread of his life, until all he had was a and good hock and excellent port) and read bundle of tangled strands. one of the wonderful books he’d found. Some Yes. That was the truth, and it was one he of them were even on paper, and although the could live with. He was resolute now, and archaic script was really difficult at first, you relaxed as we all become when we fully realise got used to it quick enough, and it was worth that our chosen course of action is the right it. There was something about the smell of the one. There was still Vila to deal with, but he real books that was extra special, and that could take care of Vila when they found was one of the things he liked best about this Blake. One problem at a time, that was the room. As soon as he lifted the access panel off, best way for one to untangle life. Yes, he could the redolence of the books would waft out and sort the Vila problem out later. For the mo- one good whiff of that and he’d be in heaven. ment, he had to get back upstairs and remind But this morning, mind, he wasn’t looking that machine of who served whom and that for the escapist magic of book or tape, but for answers were expected immediately. the privacy in which to get gloriously, rip- His face was the most relaxed it had been roaringly drunk. There were enough bottles in weeks, his eyes clear and bright, a definite in the coolant unit in here to get even him to spring in his step. He was pleased with the point of oblivion and god, didn’t he need himself for having confronted the truth, for all that. All the lights were on bright and fearless that there was a lot of it he would rather not as he crawled into his room, but he dimmed 124 have seen. But he did pride himself on being them immediately, down to just enough to ▼▼▼ a pragmatist, and with just cause. Face the see by. Building himself a comfy cocoon facts, deal with them, get on with life. That didn’t take very long, everything always left was a part of his philosophy, and a part that lying there, in case of emergency, sort of. And worked very well. this, he thought, was definitely an emergency. For an honest man. And it would have Avon was down in that fucking room again worked well for Avon, had he been an honest and that always gave him the absolute willies. man. But it was still there, in the darkness of Mean to say, Avon was getting weird enough his mind, that tiny, bright kernel of knowledge, at the best of times these days, god only knew growing and growing, lying in wait for its what was happening to him Down There. chance to germinate. And perhaps, just Enough to make a man believe his old granny’s perhaps, if he had known that, he would have tales of Hell, wasn’t it? Course, Avon’d laugh realised that he was not sorting a scattered if he ever mentioned how scared he got when skein but instead, was weaving a very tangled Avon went down there like that. Well, maybe web indeed. not actually laugh, not out loud like, but he would be so very, very amused. Sneering NOT EVEN A VON KNEW ABOUT THIS PLACE, VILA WAS bastard. Always had been, always would be, SURE OF THAT. It stood to reason that Avon but it’d been getting worse lately. And as for didn’t know—if he had, he’d’ve nabbed Vila’s what he’d done on that sodding shuttle… collection of booze by now, not to mention All right, so everyone knew Avon was a confiscated the fur bedspread for his own survivor, survive at all costs and all that crap, use. But this was Vila’s secret place, the but that didn’t mean he could go taking it out hidden nest where no-one but him ever came on Vila, did it? Mean to say, he’d got no right to. It was overflowing with creature comforts: to do that, coming after him like that, with his soft mattress, plump pillows, food dispenser, gun and that voice. Probably what was hard- vid-player, music outlet, stacks and stacks of est to forgive him for, truth be told. He’d

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ always known that if push came to shove, thing was all right. Hated that, he did. Too Avon’d pick survival, even if it meant him, much like prison and a man learned to Vila, taking a long walk out a short airlock. appreciate his luxuries once he’d been in But to use that voice… It’d always been prison a time or two. Funny, Avon always special, always been something only he ever thought he slept with his lights on, just a bit, got to hear: Avon, sounding all soppy and mind, but still on. Rubbish, that. He’d had it friendly. Then to go and use it to kill him, oh, set up so that if his door opened, the lights’d that was something he couldn’t hardly forgive, go on enough that he wasn’t dazzled, and was it? Not that Avon’d expect him to do enough that he could see whoever it was that anything else—anything else bar forgive him, came in. Keeping the lights on was for security that was, egotistical, big-headed bastard. all right, but not the kind Avon’d thought it But the rotten sod was right, of course. He was. And as for after, when they’d made love, would forgive Avon, sooner rather’n later, that was for letting him see Avon, when Avon knowing how much of a great fool he was was all asleep and everything. The man was when it came to his Avon. But it’d be worth it, unbelievably gorgeous when he was asleep always was. For that smile, for that giggle, for and that wicked tongue of his couldn’t get you that funny little noise he made when he for gazing at him with about as much wit as came, for that voice… a lovelorn mutoid. Not that mutoids could Fucking hell, couldn’t he get past that? love, so they couldn’t be lovelorn, but they He’d been surprised and hurt—all right, all were given to staring and they really were right, wounded to the quick—that Avon’s completely witless, so he supposed that would used that voice like that. But there was no do. But it was lovely, being able to watch Avon point in holding grudges, was there? Stuck like that. And he’d bet his last bottle that Avon together on this tiny base or stuck together in never even knew a thing. Silly bastard, trusting that fucking cupboard of a ship, they had to someone was asleep just because he’d started bury the hatchet, didn’t they? And Avon, give snoring. First thing a man learns when he 125 ▼▼▼ credit where credit was due, Avon had actually goes into prison is how to pretend to be asleep sort of apologised, in his own way, of course. for when the guards come round. Or when Not often Avon came to his door bearing wine the big boys come round looking for a bit of and a smile and his shirt half undone. Mean active bait to be played with. Always after the to say, anyone could’ve seen him, not that fear they were, and if you didn’t wake up, you they’d’ve been surprised, what with everyone couldn’t give it them. Course, if they did knowing everything about everyone else, living something that no-one could ever possibly all crammed together the way they did. But it manage to sleep through, then you had to wasn’t like Avon to go public with any of his wake up. Best to be a really snivelling coward private stuff, not like that. Been too soon, then. Got them so’s they were so busy getting though. Every time he shut his eyes, he could off on you being scared shitless, they never still hear him using that voice to come after got round to hurting you as much as they did him and as for what he’d do if he heard it if you were all stiff upper lip and Tarrant-y. again, well, that didn’t bear thinking about, Now there was a right wally. Del Bloody did it? Not but that he’d not been able to stop Tarrant, king of the wild frontier. That’s what thinking about it… Little Willy thought he was, always out there Settled now, bottle to reach and heat turned trying to prove he was a bigger man than up nice and high, he ordered the lights out, Avon, and if that didn’t work, hoping that all sighing in relief as complete darkness fell. his showing-off would sweep Avon off his feet. One of the things he hated most about this Bad as bloody Blake. lifestyle of theirs: it was as bad as prison, this Blake. If there was one man he would never being in total darkness. Always a bit of cheerfully spit on, it was Blake. The bastard light on somewhere, always someone some- went and walked out on them, just like that, where up and awake, doing their monitoring never answered when he’d used Orac to try bit or just walking round to make sure every- and find the rotten sod, ignoring them as if

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

they were dirt beneath his feet. Mind, if down the Delta levels. What Big Jak would’ve Avon’d tried, he’d bet that Blake would come done to Blake! Oh, that was a good laugh, running. Nah, that wasn’t Blake. He’d have that. Almost as good as thinking what Big Jak Avon come running to him, so’s they could would’ve done to Tarrant! start their lord of the jungle crap all over Course, if Avon’d gone down there, he’d again. Pain in the fucking neck, was Blake. probably’ve had Big Jak fetching his slippers Not that he’d always thought that, he admitted, and his tea for him, wouldn’t he? Always taking a slug of good brandy instead of his could charm blood out of a stone, could Avon. usual savouring sip. Used to think Blake was Never failed. One of them smiles, and that the bees knees, but that was before he left. was it, they were putty in his hands. Apart Walking out on them like that. Walking out from Blake, of course, and if you asked him, on Avon like that. Bastard. Rotten fucking that was all it had been between the pair of bastard. Why couldn’t he have stayed, eh? them. A contest, a stupid fucking contest to Why’d he have to go and leave, cos then Avon see who needed who most, to see who was never stood a chance of getting bastard Blake going to end up on top and to see who was out of his system. Now, every time they went going to give in and fall for the other one first. to bed, him and Avon, when they actually did Right pair of stupid pricks they were. As if manage to end up in bed, when they didn’t what either one of them felt had spit to do with end up in an argument instead with one of love. But these Alphas were all the same. them going off in a temper, well, when they Thought love had to be fireworks and candle- did manage to get to bed together, who was in lit dinners five nights a week, and pining there with them but Blake. That’s right. away from loneliness the other two. Stupid. Bastard wouldn’t share when he was here, That kind of thing never lasted, that’s why it now he won’t share when he’s not either. And was a mug’s game, best left to the very young where did that leave Vila? Left him with an and the very stupid. 126 Avon who couldn’t forgive himself for all the But he was tired of it, so fucking tired of it. ▼▼▼ stuff he’d done to Blake. Left him with an Couldn’t go to bed with Avon without Blake, Avon who couldn’t ever work out what the or Blake’s stupid memory, coming in between hell had been going on between him and them. Couldn’t have a game of chess, without Blake. As if Blake had ever actually loved Avon thinking about Cally, and then that Avon. Bloody stupid idea that. The only thing always takes us back to when Cally got killed Blake ever loved, and now the booze was and guess who was there? That’s right. The warming his belly and his toes, bringing him great and glorious Blake rears his ugly head back to life, the only thing Blake ever loved again. Vila couldn’t even come in here, to his was himself. Not even his fucking Cause. special room these days without Blake fol- Never loved that. If he’d loved that, he’d lowing him in. Every time he tried to think, it never’ve left it, right? Right. So the bastard always came back to Blake, didn’t it? Prick. never loved that. Never loved people neither. He’d had it, he’d really had it. He wanted Don’t destroy their lives if you love ’em, do out, he wanted it done, he wanted it over. He you? Mean to say, he, Vila, would never wanted Avon back, to him and not to some dream of going after Star One to blow up all ghost that never even cared enough to send the people he said he was trying to help, them a message. Never cared enough to let would he? And he’d never claim it was for them know if he was alive or dead, or stuck in their own good. He’d seen people die before, one of the ‘rehab’ centres somewhere, kept and they never seemed to think it was much quiet until the Feds had managed to mindwipe good. Same went for being hungry or sick him again. First few months, him and Avon’d without any of the medicine getting through. held their breaths, waiting for the news to Course, Blake had all his airy-fairy ideas, show a fresh new Blake, even more empty- didn’t he? Obvious the bastard had never headed than before, eyes filled with Federa- spent even five minutes down the Delta lev- tion tears as he apologised to the public yet els. Not that he’d’ve survived five minutes again for the error of his ways. Mind, he

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ANTE MORTEM ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ thought Avon was more worried about the voice coming to kill him. Yeh, he’d sort it all means than the end: he’d spent hours, he out. Get on at Avon, give him a good kick up had, researching techniques. And then Vila the arse—not literally, mind, not that stupid— had gone in behind him and read every word get him to give Orac a good kick up the arse of it as well. Enough to give a man nightmares, and find Blake so that they could all give him some of that ‘rehab’ stuff. Made re-adjustment a good kick up the arse. That’s what he’d do. look like a great party So maybe he was being Tomorrow, when his head was clear. He’d get unfair. Maybe the Federation had got Blake Avon back, he knew he would. Absence makes and he hadn’t survived the torture. the heart grow fonder, his mum used to say, But Orac would’ve found that out, wouldn’t and when Avon set eyes on Blake again, Vila’d he? And according to Orac, the Federation bet that familiarity would breed contempt the never ever saw hide nor hair of Blake after the way it always had. Remember some of those slime-blobs had gone back under their galactic lovely, nasty fights they’d have on the flight rock. Which meant the bastard was still out deck, Avon and Blake? Avon’d just forgotten there somewhere, while he was stuck with an all that stuff, Avon’d just forgotten what a Avon who was going so far over the edge, his pompous, over-bearing bossy prick Blake favourite relaxation these days was com- could be, that was all. Get him to where he muning with the spirits of the dead. Of which could actually see one of Blake’s famous Vila had almost become one himself. Not a raised-eyebrow, knuckle-chewing—disgust- pleasant thought. He shifted under the weight ing habit, if you asked Vila, really disgusting of bedspread, delectably overheated. He never habit—looks that he was always giving you as tired of being too warm, that being a luxury of if he was the headmaster and you were the the same order as utter darkness: the tangible boy what had been caught copping a feel of proof of freedom. the girls’ gym teacher. Bastard. Stealing his Course, he’d been freer in some of his Avon when Blake wasn’t even here. Not fair, prisons than he was stuck here these days— that. Do something about it. Tomorrow. When 127 ▼▼▼ and whose fault was that? Blake’s, of course. he wasn’t so sleepy and he wasn’t so comfy It was his fucking Cause, his fucking mess, and he wasn’t so pleasantly pickled. why should they be stuck cleaning up behind His last thought before sleep claimed him his fat backside? Why couldn’t Blake take and before his conscious mind could stifle it care of his own crap, eh? Bloody cheek, going as it usually did, was the upswelling of resent- off like that, leaving Avon trying to take care filled hatred that he preferred to pretend of everything. Probably made Avon give his wasn’t in him. But it was, and it escaped its word as well, that was the only reason Vila prison for a few precious seconds on the form- could think of that would’ve made Avon stick less plateau between sleep and wakefulness. it out the way he had. Be just like Blake to do If Avon doesn’t kill the bastard for what something like that, so that they were shov- he’s done, I will. elling shit while he was off sunning himself And in that moment, in that time of echoing under a shower of beta particles. Hoped he hollowness where Avon used to be, he meant got burnt, serve him bloodywell right. it. He honestly meant it. And he’d tell that The bottle tipped alarmingly, threatening idiot Tarrant a few home truths about his big the last few drops, but Vila caught them on hero, Blake. Tomorrow, when he was awake, the tip of his tongue, licking up the ones that when Tarrant would listen and stop him from had escaped onto his arm. Had to do some- being alone for a time, whilst Avon was off thing about it—not the booze, but Avon. And communing with ghosts. Blake. And this whole fucking mess. Time to Yes. He’d tell them all about Blake, the sort it out, it was, and he was going to do whole truth and nothing but the truth. something about it. Tomorrow, when he wasn’t Tomorrow… quite so happily fuzzy. Liked being fuzzy. And he was asleep, not knowing why he Fuzzy was nice. Fuzzy was comfy and safe would live to regret that tomorrow, in this and Avon couldn’t hurt him with that special case, actually came.

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼T HE DOME CYCLE ▼ Which means ‘ad infinitum’ according to the ▼ editor or ‘ad nauseam’ if the Glaswegian is to ▼ ▼ be believed. This is the fourth in the series and ▼ ▼ as much as M. Fae Glasgow thinks it’s the last, ▼ ▼ the editor knows better. When we last saw ▼ ▼ Avon, he was in quite a pickle, his Delta and ▼ Alpha families ‘meeting’ for the first time… ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCE ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

128 KERR!” the greatest luxury of all the luxuries the ▼▼▼ ▼“ His mother, of course, voice high with expensive flat had afforded him, and now outrage and shock, but then, one could facing her again in all her tea-rose and jas- hardly blame her, given the current circum- mine glory, he regretted not a single credit. stances. In fact, given the current circum- “Mother,” he began, stepping forward, trying stances, Avon felt rather inclined to join her. to think of the magic phrase that would “As these…these…” she spluttered, her resolve this mess without someone—probably upbringing unequal to the task of bringing up himself—getting killed or his mother erupt- a suitably foul expression to describe these ing into guilt-inducing tears. unutterably vile creatures. “The middle of a revolution is hardly the “People?” her younger son supplied, her time or place to interfere with your son’s life, attitude catching him all the more rawly your ladyship, especially as I need him right because it had been his own, not too long now. In case you hadn’t noticed, the Dome is since. on the verge of falling under the control of the “Oh, is that what they are? You must Deltas.” forgive me, I couldn’t tell. But—” loudly, as She did the impossible: she managed to loudly as Lady Waylz would ever speak, hand look even more shocked, horrified and out- raised to forestall all the other mouths that raged. The mere thought of this appalling were so anxious to babble forth, “—as state of affairs becoming permanent was these…people…seem to be connected to you enough to give her nightmares. “Kerr,” she in some way, then might I suggest that you said with the firmness that was tempered to have them removed forthwith. Right now, mere arrogance in her son, “I shall speak with Kerr.” you later. I shall be expecting some answers Oh, how he remembered that voice, echoing from you then. Please, President Blake, do go at him about homework and friends, clothes on.” and hair. Leaving that voice behind had been “Not half as many answers as I’m expecting

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ right now, Avon,” Blake almost shouted at “So yer wants ter know wot’s goin’ on then, him. “What the hell are you playing at? You does yer, Blake?” come back here, rescue me, become my right Avon grinned, a sudden moment of glee hand man—” amidst the horror: just look at Blake’s face as Oh, yes, I was quite the suitable substitute Vila played Delta to the hilt! for masturbation, wasn’t I, Blake? he thought “Well, I’ll tells yer wot’s goin’ on. We’re sick quite nastily, less than keen on the way Blake of it, is wot’s goin’ on. Sick an’ tired an’ ’ungry. was treating him. He had more than enough ’Ad it up ter ’ere, an’ when those fuckin’ raids of that from his mother, thank you very much started up agen, we decided it was time ter indeed. come up ’ere an’ show yous lot wot for.” His lack of interest obviously hadn’t dawned “Vila, you are an idiot,” Blake snapped at on Blake, who was still going strong. “—and him, and almost every hackle in the room before I know where I am, there’s a rebellion rose. It didn’t do to insult a Delta in front of his by our own people, the Deltas, and you seem family like that, it didn’t do at all. “Don’t you to know all about it. In fact, it’s all your plan, realise that it takes time to change centuries isn’t it? So tell me,” and this a lesson in of tradition? That it takes time to re-allocate danger and threat, “what the hell are you up limited resources?” to?” “You jest take a look around yer, Blake. “Me? Nothing, Blake, absolutely nothing. This wot yer calls limited resources, eh? All this was out of my hands the day I left the There’s enough in this one room ter feed an’ Bowels to return Upstairs,” and it never clothe an’ buy med’cine fer me family. You occurred to him to explain the terms to Blake, wouldn’t know this, Mr. ’Igh an’ Bloody Mighty not surrounded by his Delta family, who were Alpha, bu’ me granda jest died,” busy outnumbering his Alpha family. “If you “Vila, I’m sorry.” want to know what’s going on, then I suggest It was as if he hadn’t spoken. “D’yer know you ask Vila. According to my plan,” he lied wot me granda died from? We calls it lung-rot, 129 ▼▼▼ slightly, promoting Vila a notch and quietly an’ we lose ’undreds to it every year. Every ignoring his own anticipated role, “Vila is the year wivout fail, we lose old folks an’ littl’uns, leader. Aren’t you, Vila?” And he turned then, go down like flies, sufferin’ summat awful. daring to actually look at Vila for the first Well, one of our bright girls foun’ a book in one time, shocked by what he saw. Not even when of them ’istory places, an’ it told us wot lung- first they’d ended up down the Delta levels, rot is. It’s tuberculosis, Blake, a mutant had Vila been so filthy. Nor so hard, nor so strain of tuberculosis. And do you want to unloving. To be rejected so silently and so know what the treatment is?” thoroughly caught him by surprise and Don’t be nervous Vila, don’t let him intimi- it…hurt. Quietly, as yet, but building up the date you. Let him think you’re slipping into pressure by gathering increments, so that he Alpha just to show that you can, and not could feel it grow, even as he took the time to because you always do that when you’re actually look at the brood. They were all scared. incredibly filthy, again, even more so than “It’s common, everyday anti-infectant. Just before. As for recently, well, since he’d given the same stuff you can walk into any chemist’s them the knowledge they had traditionally and buy, but that we can’t get our hands on. been banned from, they had been the most He’s dead, Blake, and you and your lot killed enthusiastic of recyclers and thrifty by gen- him as much as if you’d shot him yourself.” erations of necessity. There was no need for “All right, so there is obviously some kind such disgusting back-sliding. Unless… of discrepancy between raising certain stan- Mentally, he reviewed some of the figures on dards and providing the basic necessities, the files he’d accessed that very afternoon. which you are supposed to be getting by now. My god, he thought, more shocked than his I can look into it immediately, get the whole mother had been, their supplies were actu- thing sorted out, but I can hardly do anything ally cut… with your Deltas controlling every computer,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

now can I?” merely marginally less dangerous than their “You,” Vila said, going up on tip-toe, facing homes. And everyone goes in there, Blake, old Blake off, “ain’t gonner do nuffing. Cos I’m and young alike. Apart from those who are goin’ ter do it, yer ’ear me? Me an’ my lot’s goin’ too sick, of course. They have to be left behind ter come up ’ere an’ take wot’s ours, whether in their beds, while everyone hopes that the you lot like it or no’. See wot I’m gettin’ at, do sick won’t be taken, for who would want yer?” diseased organs? But everyone else, Blake, “I can see how stupid you’re being. Deltas and I mean everyone, huddles together in the can’t run computer systems, you can’t run smallest of rooms and it gets so hot and so the entire Dome. You—” crowded that you can barely breathe.” He was “We’re jest as good as you are, tha’s wot we right in front of Blake now, almost shouting are, an’ we’re tired of workin’ our guts out at him, unleashing some of the impotent rage while you lot sit up ’ere on your fat arses an’ that had haunted his time on the Delta levels. live like fuckin’ royalty off our sweat. An’ our “Oh, yes, I’ve been there, I’ve lived through blood. It was yesterday wot did it. You more than one raid. But not everyone lives shouldn’t ought to ’ave started the raids up through them, of course. There are the un- again, Blake.” fortunate ones who are captured and taken “What the hell are you talking about?” off to have their organs harvested from them “Oh, well done,” Avon butted in, slow when they are still alive.” hand-clap insulting Blake better than words “That’s impossible, Avon!” And Blake looked ever could. “You do such a good imperson- sick, shaken by something he had never ation of outraged innocence, don’t you? But suspected could exist, not even under then, you are very good at faking things, aren’t Servalan, and most especially not under him. you? What Vila is talking about,” he went on, “Tell me it’s not true, Avon.” leaping in before Blake could respond to the “Oh, it’s true enough,” Vila piped up, coming 130 rather personal bite of sarcasm, “are the ‘live to stand at Avon’s side, automatically sup- ▼▼▼ donor’ drives. The ones where mutoids—by porting him, all differences cast aside to be the way, weren’t you going to get rid of dealt with later, as was the Delta way. That mutoids, or is that yet another thing you was one class who knew all about what haven’t quite found the time for yet? But I happens when people allow themselves to be digress,” he smiled, as charmingly as if they divided. “’ave you any idea ’ow many people were having tea, the tension in the room we lose in the safe rooms every year? Dozens. fraught enough to make those old enough to Old folks ’ave ’eart attacks, babies…” understand it silent, and those too young “Babies cry, Blake,” and he could feel the loud with fear. Someone was crying and fury and the rage roiling inside, desperate to screaming in the background, but Avon did be vented on someone who could make a not even register the sound, too focussed on difference but who had chosen to be blind Blake, too stung by the state his Delta clan instead. “And when they cry, do you know was in. To see the children look hungry again, what their mothers or their fathers have to after all his work to the contrary. And after do? Can you imagine, even begin to guess he’d given his word… Oh, Blake was going to what it is they have to do? They suffocate pay for this, starting right now, with a pound them, Blake. They have to murder their own of flesh carved out by words. “The donor children, for it’s better to sacrifice one child drives,” he went on, pacing slowly in front of than lose the fifty or more who are trapped in Blake, his hands clasped behind his back the there with it. I stood there, Blake,” and he was way he had done so often on Liberator, the way shouting now, right into Blake’s shocked and he did so often at meetings, “are the worst of appalled face, “and I watched as someone a very bad lot, Blake. A cry will go up, then a who was barely a woman herself had to shout, and all of a sudden, everyone is run- murder her own infant. And you’ve started ning as quickly as they can to the nearest that up all over again. For the sake of fat ‘safe house’. Of course, it’s not safe at all, bastards like you who don’t want to give

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ anything up, ever.” dangered-species shoes to the ends of her “Don’t you dare, Kerr Avon, don’t you dyed, coiffed and root-implanted hair. “What’s damned-well dare. You accuse me—me!—of the matter, Mother?” he asked with spurious ordering that kind of thing? I might be a sweetness, for once uncaring enough of her bastard, but don’t judge me by your own disapproval that he could turn on her. Strange, standards.” how the lingering oppression of childhood “Oh, I would never elevate you to such lofty was disappearing behind the wall of support heights—it might go to your head and then provided by a family that owed him nothing, what would we do?” but chose to give him so much. “I wonder “I dunno wot we’d do, bu’ I know wot we’re what offends you more: that I should refer to goin’ ter do right now. You, Blake, are gonner such things in polite company—” get yer people ter stop fightin’. We’re no’ usin’ And here his mother snorted, impolitely, at killin’ force, we’re only stunnin’ your lot, bu’ the motley Delta horde cluttering up her they’re killin’ my folk. An’ you’re gonner stop sitting room. them, ain’t yer? An’ then yer gonner make a “—or that your darling little President is as start on gettin’ us wot we’re entitled to. You,” perverted as I? Well, mother darling, you Vila said, poking Blake in the chest, “are might be interested to know that President going to authorise us Deltas to live Upstairs. Blake is actually rather more perverted than Cos if yer don’t, then we’re jest gonner take I. Oh, not because I can finally admit who and over anyway. ’Cept we’ll start usin’ our guns what I am, but because I, at least, am inter- on full force, won’t we?” ested only in those who are old enough to “Look, Vila,” said Blake, ex-revolutionary make their own choices. Right, Blake?” and now leader of the establishment, “I can “You bastard! How dare you throw that up understand why you’re so upset, but there at me? When—” are better ways than this to solve problems.” “—when now’s not the time or place to start “Oh, yeh? Well, this was good enough fer muck-rakin’, right? Look, Blake, while you 131 ▼▼▼ you, wasn’t it? Was good enough fer you an’ Avon are whisperin’ sweet nothin’s to when yer ’ad us runnin’ round the fuckin’ each other, your Alphas are murderin’ my Universe blowin’ things up an’ killin’ people. people. An’ I want it stopped. You’re gonner Wot is it, Blake, don’t yer like it when I take a get on tha’ comm-link, an’ yer gonner tell your leaf out of yer book?” lot to drop their weapons an’ come along nice “This is different from what I was doing— an’ quiet like. All right?” ” “You’re ordering me to surrender?” And he “Only because you are the one on the laughed. He actually dared to laugh in Vila’s receiving end,” Avon said, publicly, adding on face. “Don’t be preposterous.” his own private codicil, “in matters of the “Preposterous, eh? Well, in case you ’adn’t rebellion any way.” noticed, you’re my prisoner, Blake, an’ you’ll “You keep out of this,” Blake snarled, his do wotever I fuckin’ well tell yer to do, d’you own considerable anger eructating forth. ’ear me?” “Unless, of course, you lied about having “No, Vila, I don’t, and you had better stop nothing to do with this now, just as you have this foolish game before it goes too far and you lied to me about everything else.” regret it.” Avon raised an eyebrow at that, becoming “So Avon’s right, you are all prick an’ no ever more the elegant Alpha on the outside, brains.” although verbally, in this public spatting, he Oh, nicely done, Vila. The fine art of lying so was slowly sliding into Delta. “Tut, tut, Blake, that it rings like the truth. I may never have didn’t Daddy ever tell you not to hit below the actually said it to you, but Blake’ll never know belt? But then, you were never adventurous that, will he? Especially not when it is so enough to do such a thing, were you?” painfully close to the truth. “Kerr!” His mother, again, shocked from “You, my old friend,” Blake said, leaning in the soles of her expensive, hand-made, en- very close, intimidatingly large, “are treading

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

on very thin ice.” this wonderful counting game, racing along “Old friend? Is that what I am? Is that why ahead of him. you were always calling me up, inviting me “One,” cold and implacable, counterpoint over for your dinner parties and to your fancy to the raucous fun of the children. galas and all that stuff? Oh, yeh, you’ve One, two, three four five, shown just how good a friend you are, pal, once I caught a fish alive, and if that’s the best you have to offer, then “Two.” you’re poorer than I’ve ever been. Now, just to “Do you honestly expect me to fall for your make sure this gets through your stupid bluff, Vila?” So proud, head held so high. thick skull, I’ll say this slowly. You are my six seven eight nine ten, prisoner. Got that?” then I let him go again. “Don’t be stupid, Vila. How can you pos- “Three.” sibly say that I am your prisoner?” “I really think you ought,” Avon said, torn “This is how,” Vila answered quite casually, between so many camps that there was no pulling his gun out from his waistband and right way left for him, only the anger he felt for digging the point of it into Blake’s chest, right Blake and the fury he felt for the suffering of on the spot where Blake’s heart beat faster his Delta family—and the aching sweetness and faster, until his chest was fluttering in of Blake, standing there, his lover, a man he reaction to the coldness of metal pressing into was in love… him. “See? Funny ’ow easy it is ter explain Why did you let him go? some things, isn’t it? Now, old friend, you “Four.” once told me you wanted to hear all the Because he bit my finger so… details of wot I had been up to, while you were “Five.” locked up by the Federation. An’ I’m gonner “All right, all right, all right, I shall order a tell you them, ’specially,” and here he looked cease fire. That should give us time to nego- 132 at Avon who was standing, arms crossed, tiate, if nothing else.” ▼▼▼ keeping well out of this, “the bits you don’t “I’m not interested in negotiating,” Vila want ter ’ear. Bu’ in the meantime, yer’ve got said, himself and gun following Blake over to a job ter do, ain’t yer? Yer gonner get yer folk the comm unit, standing over him while the ter drop their guns an’ stop killin’ my lot. I’m other man made the necessary connections goin’ ter count to five, an’ if you ’aven’t done and said the necessary passwords. it, then I’m goin’ to kill you.” It was, finally, done, and with as little grace “Don’t be stupid, Vila,” and Blake looked at as Blake could possibly manage with a gun Avon with the triumph of hope, realising that kissing the nape of his neck. Silent, keeping Avon was on the side of the Alphas, where he his own counsel, Avon stood watching as Vila belonged. made a parody of everything he had ever had “If you kill him,” and the truth came out, with Blake. Correction: of everything he had making Blake frown ferociously, “then all ever thought he’d had with Blake. And looking you’ll have done is finally give him his bleeding at him now, with those words still burning his heart’s desire and made him a martyr. mind (action delayed until resources available, However, if you were to begin by taking him writ large and pyre-bright), all he could think apart, a finger at a time, for instance…” about was the skulking around in the small “God,” Vila looked at Avon as if he had seen hours of the morning, or in mid-afternoon a devil, not a deity, “you Alphas are a sick lot, when they were ‘in conference’, and Blake aren’t you? But it’s a good idea, isn’t it, Blake? might never find as much time to spend with I’ll count ter five, an’ if you ’aven’t got your lot him as Avon wanted, but they always man- on the comm, then I’m gonner take the first aged to actually discuss business on their finger of yer right ’and off.” little trysts, so that no-one would ever be the Blake drew himself to his full height, wiser. No-one, obviously, including himself. glowering down at Vila, ignoring the rising Nothing he had said had made the blindest chant of the children, who were joining Vila in bit of difference, had it, judging by the state

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ the family was in. Look at Vila, so much and nothing Blake could say was going to weight fallen from him, hollows under change that. cheekbones where there had always been “And why not? Ashamed, Blake?” smiles before. What the hell had been going “For keeping you on an even keel by what- on down there whilst he’d been up here living ever means it took? Of course not. Although above the salt? He came closer, and with one I do rather regret the methods.” speaking glance, Vila stepped aside for him “So that is to be the story. Why begin it without saying a word, making a point of now? Or are you simply getting some practice becoming engrossed with sending the elder in before your officers arrive? Quite the poli- members of his brood off to make sure that tician, aren’t you now.” everything was going as it should, to take the “It’s not a dirty word.” personal touch to the various cells of Deltas “What—poof? Oh, but of course, you were trying so hard to run a place they had only referring to the other ‘p’ word, weren’t you. ever read about or dreamed of. When he was Politician. The word might not be dirty,” he done, the room was almost empty, all the leant over Blake, his hands covering Blake’s Alphas ‘escorted’ off to their rooms, leaving on the arms of the chair, “but the man Avon and Blake and Vila with a space away certainly is.” from the children. “Am I, Avon?” Blake sniped back, voice an “Blake,” Avon said and it was gratifying to intense whisper. “Or am I doing the same see how quickly Blake whipped round to look thing you would?” at him, and to see how much hope and Staring into brown eyes that he knew in dependence and need was in those brown love, Avon glared at him. “Cowering? Hardly.” eyes. Only then, seeing it, did Avon realise “And you didn’t? You hid up here and from how much he had missed it, burying the what little I’ve heard in here, you disappointment under his reasons for keep- had…commitments on the Delta levels. As ing on with Blake. Reasons which were for what we did…” A gulp, and Blake was 133 ▼▼▼ somewhat moot with Vila on the scene. gazing at him, pain and regret vying with “Yes, what is it?” necessity in his eyes. “This,” and he swept his And now Vila was looking at him, now hand round the elegant room with its gene- turning away in disgust. Expecting more be- alogy of history, “is where you were born and trayal, Vila? And perhaps you are wise to. bred. You know how our people regard that After all, even I’m not entirely sure where I sort of thing. How long do you think I would stand on all of this. In the middle, I’m afraid, last as leader if they even suspected me of sitting on top of the fence. Not the most com- being a deviant.” fortable of positions… Now that shocked Avon. “You admit it?” “Did you ever do any of the things I de- “Surprised? Now that surprises me. Oh, be manded?” reasonable. We,” and his voice dropped even “Oh, Avon,” Blake answered, referring to lower, so that Avon had to lean in even farther nothing so public as the revolution, “I gave in to catch it, “fucked each other. How much to far too many of your demands.” more deviant could we be?” A raised eyebrow and a cold stare answered “We fucked?” He could, quite suddenly, him. “Really? Do tell.” feel Vila’s eyes on him, even while the steady “Here?” and the shock and shame in that drone of Vila giving orders never paused, and voice stung him, for all that he could under- while he was raging at Blake, there was a part stand it. After all, what they had done simply of him revelling in the sight of Vila being in wasn’t the done thing, was it? Not between command, instead of sleeking round doing two grown men who were long out of school what the nearest Alpha told him to. “Your and supposedly beyond such schoolboy memory is as faulty as your brain. You fucked foolishness. Oh, yes, what they had done was me,” and he could feel the blast of pain and perfectly all right, if one did not stray beyond anger all the way across the room, as Vila the lonely confines of school. But they had, turned his back, face hidden away. What’s

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

done cannot be undone, but Avon felt that seriously un-Alpha way, shocking Avon who slice into him with all the bluntness of guilt. had suffered under years of weepings and “Not what I’d call an equitable situation,” and disapproval, but never this shrieking. So it the comment was accusation for Blake and seemed his wasn’t the only case where if you apology to Vila. “But then, none of it was scratched an Alpha, you found a Delta. “You equal, was it? I did the giving, and you did the disgusting protozoa! How dare you claim to taking. And now you tell me that you lied to have married my son? I assumed that crea- me the entire time, letting me think that the ture was lying when she said it, but how can whole thing was nothing more than a con- you dare to say that in front of Kerr—and in tinuation of school-boy pranks. Actually, if front of me.” one stops to think about it,” and he smiled his “He can dare it, Mother,” he turned on her, most charming of smiles, the one that warned teeth bared to bite the hand that had fed him, of the acid words to follow, “you’re the perfect “because it’s true. Under their laws, by their politician. You could almost have been customs, it’s true.” groomed for the post by Servalan herself.” They were still all looking at him. Especially Blake was on his feet—and Vila was there, Vila. And Blake. gun at his throat, revenge in his words. “You “What the hell did you do to him?” Blake, jest watch yerself, Blake. You so much as lay shouting at Vila. a finger on Avon, an’ I’ll cut yer cock off an’ “Not ’alf as much as you did!” then feed it ter yer. Yer got that?” Avon felt the “So he may have…what is it you Deltas call ground beneath his feet pull out from under fucking? Oh, yes, he may have ‘married’ you, him, all the certainties bred in this house cut but I’m the one who fucked him.” to shreds by Vila’s fiercely hissed words. “There’s more to it than fuckin’, you know,” “Think wot yer like, but ’e’s mine. ’E might Vila shouted back even louder, defensiveness ’ave let you fuck ’im, but ’e married me. Oh, and rage combining to make his accent leap 134 yeh, look shocked. But it’s true, innit, Avon?” wildly from level to level, “an’ if you don’t ▼▼▼ And they were looking at him, Blake and know, then tha’ just goes to show ’ow pathetic Vila, Vera and the young’uns, his mother your life must be. And why’d ’e let you fuck from the doorway, one of the cousins trying to ’im? Cos you were too tight-arsed an’ scared drag her away. All of them staring at him, to let ’im do it to you? Or was it because you’re waiting for his answer, waiting for him to so unsure of whether or not you’re a man, you choose sides. Caught between a rock and a didn’t dare take the chance? Oh, yeh, I’ll bet hard place, trapped between whom he had that’s what it was. Well, don’t you go thinkin’ been, whom he was and whom he might yet you’ve got any claim on ’im, just cos you got become. Neither fish nor fowl, not a Delta, not ’im to lift ’is knees…” by any manner of means, but no longer “Lift his knees? He went on his knees for entirely Alpha either. More than the complexity me.” of class was the dichotomy of his two lives, the “Proud of that, are you? Well let me tell you, physical wealth and emotional paucity he it was probably because he didn’t want to ’ave had with Blake, and the reverse he had with ter see yer face while you did ’im, that’s what.” Vila. “But at least, Vila, with me he was truly Unless, of course, he could combine the intimate and—” two. The best of both worlds, that was what “Truly intimate? Listen, I’ve been fucked it had been to fall asleep in the luxury of by better’n you an’—” lavender-scented sheets with Vila holding on “I’m sure you’ve been fucked—” to him. Why shouldn’t he have that all of the “When you’ve quite finished—” time? They had had a revolution while he had “You keep out of this, Avon,” snapped Vila. been busy burying his head in the sand, and “Yes, it’s got nothing to do with you,” Blake if he played his cards right, then he could win snapped in unison. that revolution, too. “The two of you,” Avon said, very, very “Married?” his mother screeched in a most quietly and very, very dangerously, “are ar-

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ guing over me like a pair of fishwives over the night, can they?” day’s catch. And I,” he stepped between “Can’t they, Blake?” Avon said, absently them, looking from one to the other, “do not picking up a stray baby that had begun to cry, like it. In fact, I refuse to put up with it. Whom handing it unthinkingly to one of the cousins. I choose to sleep with and how I choose to “I’ve already written all the programmes that sleep with them, is not open to discussion. It would make that possible.” is also not a topic for public discussion in “And if I implemented those programmes, front of my mother and small children! As far Avon? How long,” and Blake sounded weary as I am concerned, it is not a topic of con- beyond belief, disillusion colouring his voice versation at all. Now, this may come as quite the bleakest of greys, “do you think it would a shock to you both, but I am more than be before we had an Alpha and Beta level capable of making my own choices and my backlash against the Gammas and the Del- own decisions. Preferably without two idiots tas?” fighting over me.” “Longer than it took for them to have a “Sorry, Avon.” Delta backlash against the Alpha and the “How sweet, Vila,” Blake sneered, refusing Beta levels.” to budge an inch, fearing that in his position, Blake glowered at Avon for those particu- any sign of weakness could be the beginning lar words of wisdom. of the end. “We’d’ve been patient,” Vila put in, “but “Blake,” Avon said with transparent calm, there was no need to cut wot we were already coming over to sit, apparently casually, on gettin’. An’ as for startin’ the raids again… the arm of Blake’s chair, “I’ve already told That was wicked, Blake. No other word for it you: I am not a bone of contention to be fought but wicked.” over by you two. And in addition, although The personal still permeated the profes- you both seem more than willing to forget sional, and for all Avon’s protests, they were this, I’m afraid I have to remind you that there still like two stags fighting for supremacy of 135 ▼▼▼ is this minor matter of a rebellion. Of people the herd. Which was as true, in a way, of their killing other people. Of buildings being public roles as it was of their private ones. “I damaged. Of innocents being murdered. Did didn’t know a thing about that, Vila, and you feel that tremble, either one of you?” anyway, surely it would have been more “Explosions,” Vila said succinctly, having reasonable—cleverer, you might say—to have been brought up with the occasional rumble spoken to me about it, told me what was going as one of the power plants had another on, instead of starting a war and killing ‘interruption in efficiency’ as the reports called people?” it, or fatal explosion as the Deltas called it. “We ’aven’t killed a soul, it’s your lot wot’s “An’ that means someone’s not ’eard or doin’ that. Which is why you’re gonner get on someone’s no’ listenin’. Get on the comm link ter yer high-ups an’ tell ’em ter give up. An’ no again, Blake, an’ get your lot to pack it in.” funny business this time, or I won’t bovver “That depends on what your intentions wiv a finger at a time.” are.” “There’s no need to threaten me, Vila.” “Sorry, but I’m already married. My in- “Oh, there isn’t, is there?” tentions,” he added, going back to the im- “When there are lives at stake? Don’t be a portant public issue, leaving the important fool, man. But then,” and it was obvious that private issue aside for the moment, “is ter get he couldn’t resist the dig, sparing the time to equal shares fer equal work. That’s all we’re make a telling glance at Avon, “I don’t suppose after. We don’t want ter kill anyone, we don’t you can help it much, can you?” want ter steal yer home nor nothin’, we jest “Why you—” want wot’s comin’ ter us. We jest want wot we And Avon was actually rather proud of deserve.” him, the way he swallowed the words and “What do you think we were trying to do? stuck to the task at hand, which was to get But these changes can’t take place over the fighting and the killing stopped. Avon was

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

smiling, self-deprecatingly, as he watched was that he had meant it then and still did Vila take over, egging Blake on to do more, to now. Not a reassuring thought, especially as accomplish more and faster. As Vila rattled Blake was apparently determined to ‘fight’ for out orders to his own group, the room become him. Now that it was obviously too late of a sudden hive of activity again, as runners course, which begged the question of pre- came back and more went out. So many cisely how sincere Blake actually was. leaders, and all of them being led by Vila. Politician. He’d had more than his share of Avon called himself all sorts of fools, for falling politics, that being the family hobby—no-one so quickly and so witlessly into the same old other than he being recalcitrant enough to trap of Alphaism that had taken so much actually work. The mere thought of sharing hard work to free himself from before. But his life with a full time politician made his then, it was always far easier to have a blood run cold, for he had already had his revelation than to actually live it. His atten- taste of the skulking around like the proverbial tion went from Vila to Blake, watching the thief in the night, stealing whatever treasure- interplay, ready to decapitate the first one trove of affection he could. It was also who started their wrangling over him again. abundantly clear that Blake was offering him As if he were the spoils of war… As if he’d just nothing more than what had gone before. stand there and let them. But they were, for And that, as many foul-tempered strolls in the time being at least, behaving themselves, the small hours of the morning had proved, getting the job done, leaving him free to think was not even barely satisfactory. Perhaps, he about this whole mess. For an outsider, he conceded, if he had gone from Liberator back supposed that the scene he’d walked in on to the Alpha levels, if it had been a smooth had been quite funny, in a way, not that he continuation of Alpha lifestyle to Alpha saw it that way yet. Although the expression lifestyle, then what Blake could give him on his mother’s face… He glanced over, but would have been enough. But for a man who 136 whichever cousin had been tugging at her had grown beyond the initial horror of public ▼▼▼ had obviously prevailed and she was gone. displays of affection, every avoided touch, Out of sight, out of mind: he went back to the every aborted embrace was an insult that ate major chaos in his life. a little more deeply into the soul than the time Blake, and Vila. Neither one of them even before had, until it gathered like strychnine, seemed to be aware of him, being more beginning its slow poisoning. properly wrapped up in what was happening And as for Vila… What had Vila to offer outside than in the hallowed halls of the him? Avon-Waylz house. They were, he considered, Who knew? Would Vila be willing to remain so very different for all their similarities. And Upstairs, or would it mean another bout they were, regardless of how much he did not down in the Bowels? Even the one thing he want this to be true, part of his life. His eyes had always thought of as being bed-rock narrowed as he stared at Blake’s back, furi- certain—Vila’s adoration of him—was now ous and hurt and wounded that Blake had suspect. There hadn’t been a single affec- led him such a merry dance—and that he’d tionate glance from Vila to him, and not the been blind enough not to see what the bas- faintest hint of love. So much for Affirmation tard was doing. So it had been more than ‘all and vows. Which thought made him feel old boys together’, had it, right from the start? hypocritical to the point of shame. He was, Well of course—think of that kiss when first after all, a fine one to cast aspersions, wasn’t they’d met up again. Then there was the fact he? Another look at Vila, and he began to that Blake hesitated not one second whenever wonder if aspersions would be the least of the Avon had suggested adding something new things Vila cast at him. If looks could kill, he’d to their sexual repertoire. And of course, be in cryogenic suspension right now, with there was the humiliating memory of words torture to follow later. Well now, at least he that should never have been said being re- knew why Vila had left him to his own peated over and over again. The worst of it all devices. What was it Vera was always saying?

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Give a man enough rope and he’ll hang all right?” himself. In this case, it appeared that Vila was “Or dear Cousin Jak will rearrange my face going to do the hanging for him. Despite his for me?” open declaration, he had no doubts whatso- “Give the boy a lolly. Well done, Avon, ever that Vila believed his choice to be noth- there’s ’ope fer you yet.” ing more than self-preservation, as it had And he was gone in a swirl of fury, Avon been the first time. After all, the circumstances standing burning in his wake. The little hadn’t changed, only the setting. bastard, to speak to him that way! Avon took “Right,” Vila was saying, walking over to- a step to follow him, and cousin Jak left wards him, not looking him in the eye but Blake, coming to block Avon’s path. several inches over his left shoulder, “I’m off “Wouldn’t, if I was you,” he said, none of to see what the situation is outside and to the old affection visible. “Mind, if you was ter make sure the food and medicine distribution want ter make me a very ’appy bloke, yer’d is going according to plan. Blake here,” a make a run fer it. I’d like ter kill yer, I would, quick, contemptuous nod at his erstwhile fer wot yer’ve done ter our Vila. Never seen ’im leader, “is going to be kept in your wine cellar, so un’appy in me life afore, an’ I’d love ter with Jak guarding him. The rest of the family takes it out of yer ugly ’ide. So go on, Lord are going to stay here as well, and it’s up to Avon sir, go after ’im.” you to make sure that everything here goes “I’m not Lord Avon, that’s my father. But smoothly.” that’s beside the point, Jak. What if I were to “Why are you so nervous, Vila? Your accent go after him to apologise?” is giving you away again.” “I’d tell yer tha’ the best way ter apollygise “’M not nervous.” ter ’im is if yer was ter do wot yer was told fer “No?” and he could hear the purr in his once.” own voice. “Then why won’t you look at me?” Avon seriously considered going through “Because,” Vila snarled, looking at him, Jak to get to Vila, and then realised that what 137 ▼▼▼ making Avon abruptly think the better of his he was contemplating amounted to suicide. idea, “I’m so fucking furious with you that if “Very well,” he said, conceding defeat not at I look at you, I’m either going to murder you all, merely beating a tidy retreat to live to fight or fuck you. That satisfy your thirst for another day, “I’d best be getting on then, knowledge, does it? Good, that makes me so wouldn’t I?” fucking happy I could spit. Now, I’m going Jak didn’t deign to reply, turning his back now, but I’ll be back, and I expect you to make to the very satisfying task indeed of taking sure this lot don’t kill each other while I’m President Blake—former President Blake— gone.” downstairs to where he belonged, in a room It was one thing to be guilty enough to keep as small and as claustrophobic as the hole quiet on the personal level, another thing Jak himself had hidden in the day before, altogether to hold his tongue when his pride when the Raids had come back. was at stake. “Don’t be stupid, Vila,” which With a confluence of emotions, Avon stood was, perhaps, not the best way to go about it. back to let Blake pass him, refusing to give “We have Thatcher, Cook and Nanny here to anything away. Not until he knew himself play nursemaid. I’ll take over the computer what there was to give away… re-programming—” “So this is what it’s come down to then, “You’ll stay here, Avon, cos you’re a fuckin’ Avon?” Alpha an’ you jest might get yerself killed if yer “Yes,” Avon answered, a pointed glance wanders. Now, you remember the drill, going to the jerry-rigged ties binding Blake’s doncher, about stayin’ in where yer can’t get wrists, “our sins do tend to catch up to one, yerself ’urt? Cos I’ll tell ’em ter shoot yer if yer don’t they?” so much as sets a foot outside of ’ere. Your “If living publicly with a Delta man is going fuckin’ programmes are already up an’ to be your lot in life, then I’m afraid I have to runnin’, so you jest take care of wot I tell yer, agree with you, Avon. Whilst wondering what

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

the hell it is that you could possibly have done whilst I tell Cook that we shall be…” he did a to deserve that.” quick calculation in his head, manfully re- “Freed myself from narrow-minded inane fraining from gulping as all the implications so-called thinking like that!” began to sink in, “thirty-two for dinner.” “Well, you’re certainly a libertine, I can’t “Kerr dear,” his old Nanny and now deny you that.” châtelaine said, with all the implacable steel “But you could, and did, deny me my that he remembered so painfully well, “I shall liberty, didn’t you?” have Thatcher inform the staff to make the “You were always free to opt out at any necessary arrangements, whilst you help me time. Although I would have expected you to bathe the children. As you well know, it’s choose something a bit better than an un- never too late to learn.” She tucked a spare couth, ignorant Delta male, no matter child under her left arm and hefted the little how…’charming’ you might find him.” blonde up to balance the load. “Superior It really didn’t do to insult a Delta with the experience indeed,” she muttered at her former family around, as the smallest one—the blonde charge, eyes twinkling. “I shall show you whose name no-one could ever remember— superior experience, my laddy. Now,” she was proving, sitting down at Blake’s feet and said to the little blonde, “what’s your name, calmly lifting his trouser leg up to bare the dear?” limb for biting. “Shela,” came the surprisingly polite reply. “Now, now, dear,” an unknown woman of Typical, Avon thought, snaring a couple of grey eyes and greyer hair said, coming in to children himself, trust bloody Nanny. Two sweep her up and away from temptation, “if minutes, and she’s not only got me on my you’re really so dreadfully hungry, Nanny best behaviour again, but she’s found out shall find you something far nicer than a what that young’uns name is. It wasn’t until yucky hairy old leg. How about some nice ice- he was wading in bubbles up to his armpits 138 cream? Perhaps not,” she amended, feeling that it dawned on him that he hadn’t even ▼▼▼ how unnaturally light the child was. “It would noticed Blake leaving. Well, well, well, perhaps never do to have you throwing rings up there was hope yet. around yourself, now would it?” “But me wants ice-sseam! Nivver ’ad none WHO WOULD EVER HAVE THOUGHT THAT BATH-TIME ice-sseam. Wants it, wants it!” The sound of COULD BE NOT ONLY SO EXHAUSTING, BUT SO INJURIOUS a child screaming at the top of its lungs was TO ONE’S HEALTH? Of course, if he’d stopped to something Avon had managed, quite suc- think about it, he never would have tried to cessfully, to put out of his mind. Not any more persuade Dev to get into such a huge bath- he wasn’t… tub, but how quickly we forget. Dev had never “Now that’s quite enough, dear. You shall seen anything bigger than one of the old tubs have soup first and then some lovely ice- that would be hauled out on bath-night and cream.” filled with water heated in basins and then “’ates fucky soup. Wants ice-sseam!” poured in, the cleanest—and that was always “Language, dear, language. You shall have a relative sort of term down in the Bowels— your ice-cream, but we have to make it first. going first, the others reusing the water until Until it’s ready, we shall all have some deli- it was grey and covered with a fine skin of cious soup, shan’t we? And,” she said, giving grime. But with the water and fuel rations Avon an extremely old-fashioned look, “you they had, that really was the best that had shall help me bathe your little friends, shan’t been available. And now he, in his wisdom, you, Kerr?” had tried to get poor Dev into a bath that was “I tell you what,” he answered, smiling in big enough to swim in. Hardly surprising, he spite of himself and the mess his life was at thought to himself, wincing as Nanny poured present, “I shall bow to your superior expe- a rather too liberal amount of disinfectant rience in the matter, Nanny dear, and allow into the bite mark. you the honour of bathing the sweet cherubs, “Don’t be such a silly,” she said to him, as

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ if he’d never grown up and left home. “Better boy, but this time, it was he who put his arm a sting now than the doctor later.” around her, it was he who protected, even as He smiled down fondly at her, the black she gave him more of her advice, most of hair long since faded to grey, the buoyant step which he’d never listened to anyway. still spry but slower, more careful now. “You “I know it wasn’t easy for you, not being have a saying for everything, haven’t you, loved as you were,” Nanny? Well,” he added, thinking about the Oh, thank you, Nanny, for confirmation of situation he found himself in, “almost ev- that cheerful fact. Tell me more, do. erything.” “But it was never your fault. Your mother “I’ve a saying for you, Kerry my boy,” and and father should never have had children in her voice was as sharp as it had been when the first place, and they only had Geoff so that he’d told boyhood’s lies or when she’d caught there would be an heir. And then…” him indulging his passion for owning what “They had me, so that they had a spare, belonged to other people. should anything happen to Geoff.” “I don’t think there’s anything that can “Yes, well, as I say, they’re not the kind of apply to my problem, Nanny.” Unlike with his people who should have children. But you’re mother, it was easy to tell Nanny. After all, she here and they at least left you basically alone, was the one who had caught him with that compared to poor Geoff. Small wonder he’s boy from the language club and not said a such a drip, really. You, on the other hand… word, apart from giving him a ticking off for Nothing but trouble, but at least you had life being so careless. to you. You were always my favourite.” “The right words apply to any situation, “Well now, there wasn’t much competition, Kerry.” was there?” “I really wish you wouldn’t call me that.” “Now there you go, doing it again. You’ve “Getting a bit big for your boots, aren’t you, always been like that, and I don’t like it. if you think you’re too good for your old Someone offers you affection, and what do 139 ▼▼▼ nanny. Don’t you forget, I remember chang- you do? You laugh it off or make it seem ing your nappies and cleaning up after you unimportant. That’s what you’ve done with when you wet your bed. So don’t you try that this Delta boy, isn’t it? I’m not saying that I tone of voice with me, young man.” approve, but if you’ve given your word, then “Yes, Nanny,” he heard himself saying, you ought to be holding up your side of the smiling with it, tolerant of the foibles of the agreement, shouldn’t you?” woman who had, more or less, brought him “Nanny dear, I’m very fond of you,” he said, up. shying away from a discussion that was “That’s better, Kerry. Now, my lad, you treading on too many tender spots, “but I’m listen to me. I don’t know who they are, and a big boy now. I make my own decisions.” I don’t know how you got mixed up with either “Stupid ones by the look of them. What one of them. But don’t you go playing them off possessed you to get involved with a Resistance against the other the way you were today.” man? Everyone knows that they’re all ob- “I? Playing them off against each other? sessed.” Nanny, they were doing that without my “Oh, they certainly are that.” help—” “Well,” she said, sighing into his shoulder, “But you didn’t exactly hinder them, did “you never would listen to sense when you you? Oh, listen, listen, Kerry, I don’t want to were younger, I don’t know why I should have nag you, not with all this going on, the world expected you to have changed. Stubborn and set on its heels and your mother throwing fits obstreperous and over-proud, that’s you. all over the place. But no-one else ever talks And you haven’t changed much, have you, sense to you, so I’ll have to.” She came up to Kerry?” sit beside him on the bed, as she had when he Avon sat beside her, on the huge bed he was little and the world had seemed so big had bought with his birthday money from his and callously confusing to an overly sensitive grandmother, and thought back to today,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

when he’d stood by silently when so much PEOPLE CROWDING THIS HOUSE THAT HAD WOKEN HIM was going on, so much that once he would UP, ONE OF THE MANY GETTING UP TO USE THE TOILET, have automatically had to take control of, PERHAPS, OR ONE OF THE CHILDREN UP CRYING IN THE things that once he would have gone for the STRANGE PLACE WITH ITS STRANGE NOISES AND STRANGER jugular over. “Actually, Nanny dear,” he SMELLS. There was no movement outside, but murmured, consciously realising for the first there was movement inside. time that Nanny smelled of tea-rose and Vila. jasmine, a small comfort to an even smaller It had to be Vila. He sat up, ordering the boy, “I have changed rather. In fact, I’ve lights on—only to have Vila order them right changed more than I ever thought possible.” back off. So it was going to be like that, then. And we shall have to see if it’s for the better, No matter, he could talk just as well, if not shan’t we? better, under cover of darkness. And if there “Time will tell,” she said, one of her favourite was one thing they needed right now, it was phrases that had echoed throughout his to talk. Or at least, for Avon to apologise and youth. “Time will tell, Kerry-boy.” begin to make it better. “I feel as if I should ask you for a story,” he “Vila—” said with a smile in his voice. “You’ve got a choice, Avon,” the voice came “And I think I’m far too young and innocent from beside the bed, accompanied by the for the kind of stories you’d be wanting these slithering of clothes to the luxury of carpet- days! But,” she whispered wickedly, making ing. “You can either talk at me and end up him laugh again, the old house shivering with sleeping on the floor in someone else’s room, the ghost-steps of time replayed, “if you want, or you can shut up and let me fuck you.” my boy, I’ll stay and tuck you in.” “Why?” “Oh, I think I can manage that all by “After what you’ve put me through, you myself, Nanny. Good night,” and he went to can ask me that? I thought I was the one who 140 the door with her, kissing her the way he used was supposed to be a stupid Delta—and don’t ▼▼▼ to when he was young enough to be unafraid you say anything. If you start, you’ll talk me of showing affection to those he cared for. in circles and I’ll agree to anything and I won’t “You have changed, haven’t you?” she said have that, Avon, I won’t. After what I did for fondly, patting him on the cheek. “My boy’s you, after what we went through, and then finally growing up. Well, big boy or not, see you go running to Blake and get down on your that you don’t stay up too late. If we’re going knees like a bitch on heat, and you can ask to cope with all these extra people, you’ve a me why? God, you must be absolutely mad.” long day in front of you.” And you must be incredibly nervous. You “And on such a cheerful and fortifying sound decidedly plummy, Vila, and you know thought, good night, Nanny.” how your accent gives you away these days. But when she was gone, he half-wished “Well? What’s your answer?” her back. After all, when she was here, he “Do I honestly have any choice?” could distract himself from the fact that Vila A shuffling of feet, then the response, as wasn’t. There was no spring to his step as he pedantic as an Alpha. “Actually, yes. The readied himself for bed, the familiar routine worst of the trouble’s over, and all the im- doing nothing to blank his mind as he wove portant things are under control. You could from Vila to the uneasy knowledge that Blake walk out of here right now and no-one would was held, to all intents and purposes a hos- bother you, apart from the security patrols, tage, in the cellar below his house. It took him and you could even go to an hotel if you a long, long time to sleep that night. A long, wanted to. Nothing to keep you here.” long time indeed. “Apart from my word, which I gave you.” “Didn’t stop you with Blake, did it?” PITCH BLACK, A SLICE OF LIGHT FRAMING THE OLD- “Ah, but that was different, Vila. I—” FASHIONED DOOR, RIPPLING SILENCE AND HIS FIRST “Shut up! Just shut up, I don’t want to hear THOUGHT WAS THAT IT WAS THE OPPRESSIVE NUMBER OF it, not right now. Just,” and Avon could hear

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ him gulp, and remembered how many nights himself against Vila, throwing himself into he’d been held close because he needed a giving Vila every dramatic response that he bastion against the strangeness and danger had always kept from him before. It was, after of the new world he’d been thrown into, all, the least he could do, and the most. Vila “either go and sleep somewhere else, or let me was whispering his name over and over again, fuck you.” a litany or a hymn, an endless singing of He answered by turning back the covers, a Avon’s praises, his breath soughing over sudden gleam of white to their dark-adjusted Avon’s tender skin. eyes. Vila said nothing, perhaps fearing, as A movement, and the hairs on his leg were Avon did, where words would lead them. All tingling with the blunt shove of Vila’s cock, at once, his arms were full of warmth, Vila growing damp with the seep of precum, all of straining against him, holding onto him as if it driving Avon to distraction. This was all very his life depended on it. He stroked the mus- nice, this frantic kissing and touching, but he cular back, appalled by how much thinner it wanted more—and Vila deserved more. There was, by how dry and under-nourished the was hand-lotion on his bedstand, left there skin felt to his own pampered hands. But that by Nanny with strict instructions in its use was nothing to the starvation in the mouth after giving so many baths—but he doubted that was kissing him, Vila’s tongue plunging if it had occurred to her what other use it into him, Vila’s murmured moans flowing might have. He arched up to reach for it, and into Avon. The hunger was aggression itself, Vila took that as invitation to suck him, burning and fiery, fingers on his nipples, shockingly without warning, into the wet tugging and pulling and soothing after, hand depths of his throat, all those murmured coming round to knead his buttocks, a callus words transformed into humming caress on rough on the delicate skin. Fine hair was the tactile wealth of his cock. He bucked, brushing his face and onto his earlobes, once, involuntary submission to pleasure, tickling him not to laughter but to shivering wondering if tonight was going to be sucking 141 ▼▼▼ arousal, and he filled his own hands with the and not fucking. Then he felt the hand stroking lean muscles of Vila’s arse. Such masculin- his inner thigh, and the finger-tip tracing the ity, where Blake’s lushness was almost faint dusting of hair round his arsehole, and feminine in comparison. But Blake had never then the unfamiliar familiarity of a finger needed him like this, had never been so entering him shot through him. Blake had desperate for him. For all Avon’s passion in done this to him, of course, but never with bed, Blake was lukewarm compared to Vila. such single-minded obsession. He had never, Compared to Vila, a super-nova was merely in his entire life, been made love to with such tepid. ruthless tenderness, nor had his pleasure Avon gasped aloud, not giving a damn that ever been dictated so sweetly. The finger in his mother was in the next room. Let her hear him was whetted with saliva and wordlessly, him, let her know what kind of son she had he handed Vila the crystal flacon of cream. produced. Let her know that her son had His cock was released to the chill of the air finally found someone who actually loved and he let his hands flow around it, lying flat him. Vila’s mouth was on his chest, soft satin on his back in complete abandon, letting Vila of tongue, hard satin of teeth, all of it smooth watch him pleasure himself, never for one and wet, licking and kissing and biting, teasing second looking away. While he lay there, Vila him, catching a single strand of chest hair at dispensed some of the cream, the scent a time and tugging at it, hard enough to bring bursting forth with the redolence of rare and his skin to life. He grinned in feral pleasure, ancient herbs. Vila’s cock glistened with the pushing up as he pulled Vila down, his legs slipperiness of the cream and Avon’s mouth scissoring to hold Vila tight. His own cock was watered, surprising him with his own hunger turgid and heavy, pressing into his belly, for this man. He had been so busy using lust pressed into by the hardness of Vila’s ribs, to expiate his guilt, he had lost track of his every ridge a caress. He undulated, playing own passions, and of how much he cared for

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

this man who was kneeling over him, too It was worth it, to see the expression in thin, hair too long, eyes too sad. Vila’s eyes, to see hope spring eternal in those “Oh, Vila,” he said, “it can only get better.” well-loved eyes. To see some semblance of “That’s what you said the last time.” forgiveness on that face. “You mean it, don’t “Ah, but I’m older and wiser now, aren’t I?” you? You really mean it?” “And Blake’s out of your reach, so I’m all “Would I lie to you?” that’s on offer, right?” And he found himself loving Vila a little “I could have said no, and would have, had more, when not one word of accusation was I wanted to. But,” and he sat up, kneeling in thrown at him for the things he had done. front of Vila, taking both their erections in his “Say it again, Avon,” Vila whispered to him. right hand, holding them tightly together, So he held them close, his belly touching until he could feel the pulse of Vila’s blood Vila’s with every breath, their lips brushing through his own cock, “I want you.” He kissed so that his words would go from him into Vila. Vila then, holding them cock to cock and “I love you.” mouth to mouth, his free hand becoming Then he was being kissed and lotion-slick enslaved to the liquidity of Vila’s hair. “I had hands were on his cock, stroking him, forgotten how much I want you,” he whispered, squeezing him, loving him back. It would be kissing, lightly, the disbelieving flutter of so simple for him to retain the balance of Vila’s eyelid, “and I was too much the coward power between them, for all that he’d confessed to remember how I feel about you.” love. But he wanted, instead, to feel Vila “No’ tha’ you’ll say it, though.” inside him. He wanted, with a quiet des- He pulled back, letting go of Vila so that he peration, to feel all that love inside him, filling could frame Vila’s face with his hands, left up all the empty places doubt left him. He thumb tracing the shape of lips that parted sank back, bringing Vila with him, letting for him, sharp white teeth nipping on him, Vila’s weight press him into the bed, spreading 142 warm lips sucking him in. “I can say it. Do you his legs so that Vila could sink between them, ▼▼▼ want to hear it?” cocktip pressing into Avon’s balls. The heat Vila looked at him with cold-water clarity. was incredible, and the hardness exquisite. “Depends on ’ow much it’ll cost me, don’ it?” Avon groaned and writhed, pushing up to- “The price,” he said, resuming the delicate wards the teasing cock, doing his damnedest kisses, letting the fire slowly build higher to get Vila inside. again, “is that you’ll give me a second chance. He was kissed, thoroughly and breathlessly, I’m not usually so fickle, I assure you. It’s just and while his mouth was overflowing with that Blake took me by surprise.” Vila, slick fingers slid inside him, opening “So if I want to ’ear you tell me wot I want him up, unlocking him with consummate to ’ear cos I want to ’ear it an’ not cos you want skill. He was aching with need, devouring ter say it, I ’ave to set meself up for another Vila with his mouth, hands marauding all fall?” over Vila’s body, ravening to touch and to “Well now, that’s not quite how I would hold. Hips pulsing, he fucked himself on phrase it myself.” Vila’s fingers, demanding, demanding more. “Then ’ow would you phrase it then?” The fingers eased from him, then he held “I’d say that it was time for us to start all himself perfectly still as cock slid into him. He over again, for us to finish what was started could feel the flange spread him wider, then at our Affirmation. I’d say that it was time for it was in him, the raised ripple of vein you to let me say what I wanted to say that stimulating him even more as the hardness of night.” cock filled him. His hands locked together “An’ wot’s that?” round the back of Vila’s neck, as his legs “I suppose I deserve that suspicious tone. locked together round the small of Vila’s back All I want to say is, that I won’t lie to you and and he was rocking back and forth, fucking tell you that I’m head-over-heels in love with and being fucked. It was more than he had you, but I do love you, Vila.” ever expected, this having Vila inside him. So

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ SHO▼LD A▼LD ACQ▼AINTANCE ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ very much more… ready to explode but he waited, squeezing There was so much love and so much lust himself, keeping the cum inside until Vila in every deep thrust, he wanted to scream. thrust into him hard and held still, oh, But he couldn’t, not with so many people heavenly still, and the first burst of cum ready to come running at the least sign of bathed his insides, making him even wetter trouble. But it was building in him, a wall of when Vila pulled out to thrust back in again, sound to match the wall of pleasure as Vila another spasm of cum jetting into him, again filled him again and again. Not so big as and again, whilst his own hand blurred on his Blake, but oh, the way Vila caressed him cock and his cum splattered white, hot and inside, the way his balls kissed Avon’s arse, wet on Vila’s belly. the way his mouth was so voluptuously hot And all the while, they stared at each other, on his. Eyes closed, Avon let his head drop eyes wide open, locked together in emotion as back as he lost himself utterly to the ecstasy well as body. The last arc of semen slipped of having Vila in him, of having so much love from him, and he smoothed it into Vila’s skin. to feed on. And such skill, gods, how could he Vila stayed in him, with Avon refusing to have lost sight of how good Vila was, and of move until Vila was soft enough to slip from how he made Avon feel? He could hear their him. skin slapping together, and he could feel each “Vila,” he began. tiny droplet of Vila’s sweat as it dropped on “Shh. Don’t say anythin’. Jest sleep, le’ me him. His whole body was alive, nipples radi- sleep… Tomorrow, talk tomorrow…” ating pleasure, cock pulsing with it, arse on With Vila heavy and sleeping atop him, fire with it. Avon lay in what had once been his own bed And Vila… Vila was gasping now, body and stared at a ceiling he had once known. straining and Avon grinned at him, opening This ceiling was not old plastic, stained and his eyes so that he could see, so that he could marred by years of use. This was genuine share the second when it all proved too much. plaster, moulded and painted into the kind of 143 ▼▼▼ “Open your eyes, look at me,” he whispered. art most people only saw in museums. But for “Let me see you when you cum in me. Inside all its beauty, it didn’t have any answers, and me, Vila, you’re inside me. And I love you, oh, Avon stared at it for a long, long time, won- I love you. That’s it, love, fuck me hard, dering. harder, go on, fuck me…” Wondering if he could succeed this time. He was shaken with the force of the thrusts, Wondering if he had bitten off more than he but thrilled to distraction by them. Short and could chew. Wondering what the hell he uneven, warning him that Vila was on the would do if Vila expected him to go back down verge and he reached between their bellies to to the Delta levels—wondering what the hell grab his own cock, the palm of his hand filled he would do if Vila expected to stay up here with the smoothness of his cock, the back of with Avon. his hand rubbed by the roughness of the long And most of all, wondering what the hell he line of hair that led from belly to Vila’s cock. would do once Blake was no longer out of It was building inside him, Vila wild in him, reach… fucking him so hard. His own cock was ripe,

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼V ENERY ▼ The end. The final point. The hunter and the ▼ ▼ hunted together. The fourth of the Venery ▼ tales. ▼ ▼ The end of venery. ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ TERMINUS ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼

144 WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” “Then you are a fool.” ▼▼▼ ▼“ Hollow, the words echoed. “Yes.” “You could have told me. I’d’ve listened.” “You admit it?” Empty, the stillness swallowed them up. “Why bother to deny the truth? It’s easier “I’d’ve believed you.” to admit to it than lie. Anyway, there are The darkness did not answer. worse things than trust, Avon.” “I’d’ve trusted you.” “Name one.” The silence shivered. A bitterly whimsical laugh. “Love.” “I’ve always trusted you. From the very Another silence, biting deep like winter’s start.” breath on icy morning. “Oh, yes, there is The curtain of silence was rent, the flimsy always that.” fabric tearing into tattered strips of voice and “You can have it, if you want.” echo, wordless, visceral, studded with pain. “No thanks, you can keep it.” Vila reached his hand out, fingertips “No, no, it’s all right. Don’t mind sharing.” touching the tarnished metal that studded “Keep it.” the leather. “I would’ve,” he whispered again, “Only my half of it, Avon. You can have using the warm sound of his own voice to your share, too.” bandage up the pain in the other’s. “I always “I don’t want it.” have.” “What’s that got to do with it? You can’t The silence crept in between them once make it happen, and you can’t get rid of it more, a balm to embalm them, binding them once it’s there. Got a mind of its own, has together, as it always had. love.” “I always will.” “Which is just as well, because you certainly “Will you?” Rusty enough to poison, it haven’t got one of your own.” grated between them. “Pretty feeble, that one, Avon. Lacked a “You know I will.” certain vigour, didn’t it? Really not up to your

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ usual standards at all, if you think about it.” “Weren’t we—weren’t you all? It was either “Yes, well, you won’t think about it, so I that or suicidal stupidity that made you shan’t lose any sleep over it.” follow him. And no-one can accuse me of “Why didn’t you tell me?” stupidity, can they?” An avalanche of silence to bury the words. “But maybe they can accuse you of being “I’d’ve understood.” suicidal, is that what you’re saying, eh, Avon?” Silence choking him. “Now would I say a thing like that?” “I would’ve helped. Been there, been with “No, but you’d think it, wouldn’t you?” you when you had to face him again.” “Would I?” “It was only a tranquilised dream, Vila. He “I know one thing, though.” was never even there.” “And what is this one, single thing sitting “Wasn’t he?” in solitary splendour that you know?” “I was drugged. They played their “You’d have us sitting here going round the mindgames inside my head. I saw nothing, same thing again and again until we’re both only dreamed their nightmare for them.” dizzy and you’ve convinced me that I don’t “Then why did we hear Cally’s mindvoice know anything about you at all which is why shouting his name?” I was wrong about you in the first place.” Silence thick enough to murder. “And what did you think in the first place?” “She would’ve known, Avon. Better even “That you were quite a bloke, but you’d than you or me, she would’ve been able to taken a bit of stick, had a few hard knocks, tell.” but you could still be reached.” “Would she?” “Shouldn’t that be ‘got at’?” “You’re the one whose mind she kept “Only if we’re talking about Blake.” wandering around in. You tell me.” “We are not talking about Blake. We are not Thoughtfulness, keeping the words at bay. going to talk about Blake. Subject closed and “C’mon, Avon, if I heard her, then you changed.” 145 ▼▼▼ must’ve heard her, too. She called his name, “To what? What we’re going to have for and she wouldn’t be tricked by any of breakfast? Not much choice round here, and Servalan’s machines, would she?” what there is doesn’t bear thinking about, “But she would have been tricked by a does it? So what d’you want to talk about telepathic device, which is what some of then?” those machines were.” “Silence would be quite nice.” “Yeh, but by the time you heard her, the “Would it?” explosions were already going full blast— “Yes.” sorry, didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” Dismal silent lifelessness responded. “Don’t bother apologising. It never made “Very well, perhaps I wouldn’t appreciate any difference before and I’m long past needing silence quite as much as I had thought.” anyone’s sorrow.” Not so much as the hiss of breath to break “But,” Vila went on, sticking to the point as the void left by the absence of the other’s if he knew his life depended on all this, “she voice. did ‘shout’ to you after the explosions, which “Come now, Vila, don’t be such a spoiled means the machines would’ve been out by brat. I’ve said I was wrong, what more can you then, so—’ possibly want?” “So there is no point whatsoever in going “How ’bout an answer?” over and over this. We don’t have the faintest “How about a question?” idea of why Cally said what she did that day. “I get to go first. I asked first, so it’s my For all we know, she said it because she turn.” finally realises who was to blame for the “If it will keep you amused.” whole fiasco, or because she was in love with “Oh, I’m long past needing to be amused, him.” Avon. I still want to know: why didn’t you tell “In love with him? Cally?” me?”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Are you sure you want to hear the answer “Might’ve helped. Been a damned sight though?” better for me than reeling me in every time “Dead bloody sure.” you thought I might be getting loose.” “As always, you pick the perfect words for “Is that how you saw it?” the occasion. As to why didn’t I tell you… “Of course that’s how I saw it. It’s how Simple, rather, like you. I didn’t want you to everyone saw it.” know.” “Everyone being?” “Why the hell not? I’d been with him from “Gan. Cally. Jenna—she used to get some the start as well, I deserved to know if you’d really nasty digs in when your back was heard from Blake!” turned, I don’t mind telling you.” “Precisely.” “If you don’t mind telling me, then why are “You what? Oh, I get it. You weren’t sure, you waiting until now to mention it?” were you? Not enough to risk anyone else’s “Because it doesn’t matter a toss any more, neck on it, anyway. But you’d go on your own, does it? You can’t do anything about it, so I take your chance, see where it led. And do it can’t be hurt if you don’t bother your back- without any of us running around behind side, can I? And what does it matter if you feel you, seeing what we ought not to.” sorry for me? I could do with a bit of pity round “And what is that supposed to mean?” about now.” “You never did like anyone seeing behind “What’s this supposed to be? Such pathetic that bloody armour of yours, did you?” pleading… You sound like a beaten dog.” “Armour? Oh, would that I had been so “That’s not too far from the way I feel. Been lucky.” beaten anyway, haven’t I?” “Yeh, armour. Ten feet thick and just as “Who hasn’t?” stinking. No need for you to keep me at arm’s “I don’t know, Avon, I just don’t know. I length like that, Avon. No need at all.” just… I’m so tired, ’d you know that? Bone 146 “Wasn’t there? Look what happens when I weary. Don’t know that I care if it all stops ▼▼▼ don’t.” now. Don’t think I’d miss it.” “What—you mean you can’t just crawl off “Whatever happened to the man who was and hide? Listen, everybody’s always called going to live forever—or die trying?” me a coward cos I was bright enough to be “He found out that sometimes living is scared of blowing things up and being shot at, nothing more than just dying very, very slowly. but you’re the real coward.” That’s all it is now, isn’t it, Avon? Dying slowly “Well, they do say it takes one to know and painfully, another step at a time. One foot one.” in front of the other, until you’re in the grave. “Different thing altogether. I’m petrified of Beginning to look quite good, that is.” things that can blow up in my face and hurt The darkness breathed, but did not speak, me, you’re just terrified of feelings, that’s all.” there being no words to follow what Vila had “And they can’t blow up in my face and confessed to this stark lightlessness. hurt me?” “Avon…” Long silence, whilst the barbed words “What now?” struck home and buried themselves in flesh, “Why didn’t you tell me about this last piercing all the way to the festering sore that time?” was at the heart of Vila. “Oh, if anyone knows “This last time what?” how feelings can hurt, it’s me, Avon. Degree “About finding Blake.” cum laude, that’s me, laureate master of “I’ve already told you.” pain. Loved you for years, ’aven’t I?” “That was about before.” “I never asked you to.” “Was it?” “But you never asked me to stop neither.” “Yes, it was and don’t you try going and “And what was I supposed to do? Invite you denying it.” round for a drink and say, by the way, Vila, be “The answer’s the same this time round, a good fellow and stop loving me?” Vila. I didn’t want you to know.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Didn’t want me to know? After we’ve spent in, did I? I’ve never fitted in with your proper two fucking years hunting after Blake, chasing friends.” him as if he was a carrot on the end of a stick? The sadness in the voice demanded a Oh, that’s rich, that is.” response and the darkness was hide enough “I’m glad something is.” and balm enough to allow the rebirth of “That’s all you ever wanted, isn’t it? To be something once forgotten. “Proper friends, rich.” Vila? And what are you, if not one of my “Oh, yes. To be so rich no-one could ever ‘proper’ friends? If not my only friend, per- touch me again.” haps…” “And so rich, no-one could complain when “D’you mean that, Avon? D’you really mean you restored your family name and took over that? I mean, I know you don’t mean their the old lands, either, eh? Always stuck in proper manners nor nothing, but are you your craw, didn’t it, that you had one of the really and truly saying that I’m one of your oldest and best names and not two brass real friends?” farthings to rub together.” “Oh, do calm down, fool, else I shall regret “It was the lack of money that irritated my lapse into sentimentality.” me, that’s all.” “And we wouldn’t want you to do a thing “Not your sense of honour? Oh, yeh, right, like that, would we? Not unless it’s for Blake, you couldn’t care less about what the Fed- eh?” eration had done to your family to get the land “I said, we are not discussing Blake.” and the money and the power, however could “You might’ve said that, but I didn’t. Under I possibly manage not to see that?” the circumstances, Avon, I think I’m entitled “Because you’re as blind as you are stupid.” to discuss Blake. In fact, I think I want to.” “Look, Avon, it’s just the two of us in here, “You think? What a miracle. There must be don’t you think you could stop the ‘stupid’ hope yet.” comments?” “Don’t be wide, you. You know I can think— 147 ▼▼▼ “My comments aren’t stupid, you—” better than you, sometimes.” “You know what I’m getting at, Avon, so “The dark has made you brave, Vila.” don’t give me that.” “Nah, just got you to sit still long enough to “What would you have me give you?” tell you what I think.” “A bit of affection.” “It’s hardly the dark that’s keeping me “You’re asking for something I don’t have here.” to give.” “Are you still bleeding?” “You’re lying again, Avon.” The flurry of sound was as inappropriate “Again?” as a butterfly, skittering around in the heavy “When you said you didn’t love Blake.” air of the darkness. It faded away, killed by “I have never so much as mentioned my- the bitter words that hunted it down. “I self, Blake and love in the same sentence.” believe there’s very little left.” “That’s what I mean.” “Cold, isn’t it?” “And if guilt is proved by omission, does “Yes.” that also prove that I don’t have a mother, “I could come over to you, share our body never having mentioned her?” heat?” “You never did have much of a mum, and “Don’t be so stupid, Vila. Are you really so I recognise that breath. Don’t you start, Kerr idiotic as to believe you could get this far, in Avon. I’ve met your mum and your brother the dark and over all that débris?” and don’t you forget it.” “It’s all right, Avon, it’s all right. No need to “I hardly think crashing a party counts as blame yourself.” meeting them.” “And what the hell makes you believe I “If you’d’ve invited me, you…” would do such a thing?” “I what?” “I can hear it in your voice. You feel as “Would’ve been bloody stupid. I didn’t fit guilty as sin, don’t you?”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“Don’t be absurd, Vila.” “Don’t suppose it is, not now. Unless Orac— “I won’t be if you won’t. Why don’t you want ” me to come over to you?” “I have its key in my pocket.” Silence congealing like the blood that “Oh. Well, that puts paid to that then, dripped down Avon’s leg. doesn’t it? Not much left to say, really.” “Go on, Avon, give me one good reason why “For once, I couldn’t agree with you more.” I shouldn’t at least try to get to you?” “You never did answer my question, Avon. “Oh, you’re getting to me more than you Why didn’t you tell me about Blake? Either know. But you’re welcome to try, if you think time.” you can make it all the way without becoming “And I have already told you!” stranded. Or have you forgotten what’s lying “All right, all right, no need to go biting my on the ground between us?” head off. I think Servalan’s arranged for that, “Bodies. Oh, god, the bodies. All them thank you very much.” rebels and all them troopers and oh, no, no, “I…” Dayna and Soolin. Where did Tarrant land, “Yeh?” Avon? Would I have to crawl over him? Would “I’m…sorry, Vila.” I? I couldn’t, you know. Never liked dead “What for?” bodies, ’specially not when they were people Laughter, with a maniac sitting on its back I knew. I even liked them, ’d you know that? egging it on. “You are sitting in what’s left of Especially Dayna. Such a pretty girl. Beau- the control room, in the dark, sealed in by tiful…” several tons of rubble, with no hope of escape, “That’s what she said about me.” with nothing around you but dead bodies, “When’d she say a thing like that?” and you ask me what I’m sorry about? You “When first we met. I had been knocked must be mad.” unconscious and when I awoke, I was being “It’s not me what’s mad, is it?” 148 kissed by this terribly pretty girl who said I “Are you saying that I am? Is that the ▼▼▼ was beautiful…” comfortable little excuse you’ve come up with “D’you sound surprised because she said to explain this horror?” it or because you just told me? If it’s cos you “Seems reasonable to me.” told me, well, it’s only to be expected, isn’t it? “Oh, you’re so very certain I can’t see you, And if it’s cos she said you’re beautiful, well, aren’t you?” you are, or are you going to tell me you didn’t “Stands to reason, don’t it? There’s not a know?” bit of light in here, darker than a baboon’s “Beautiful is soft and pretty and worth armpit it is. Anyway, don’t forget, I only got hit something.” by the tail-end of that gun, and I was half- “You’re worth something, sometimes. And awake when you went down. Doubt if you you can be soft—don’t go denying it. I’ve seen could move more’n an inch.” you, with Cally sometimes and even with “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. I could.” Blake a couple of times. Remember that time The statement hung between them, in Control Central?” swinging slowly in the silence. “Why didn’t “No, of course not. When was that?” you tell me, Avon?” “No need to be so bloody sarcastic, you “I presume you’re going on about Blake know. Only trying to make a bit of conver- again? I’m not going to get any peace until I sation.” tell you, am I?” “Then… Then why don’t you speak for “Not much.” once, instead of trying to get me to talk?” “Very well. Oh, very well…If I told you, then “Because everything I want to say, you it would make it real. It would make it fact and don’t want to hear.” then Blake might actually still be alive. And I “Oh, don’t start that again—” wanted him dead, Vila. I needed him to be “I’m not. But I do still love you. Always will.” dead. So that he would be dead and gone and “That’s not saying very much, is it?” I could be free of him.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▼▼▼▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“But he wasn’t, was he? Not until you bastard, Vila. Oh, he always said he was murdered him anyway.” going to make me care. Time and again, he “Ah, at last, bitterness commensurate with would say that. I was his pet cause, right the situation. But think, think about this, there after freeing the Universe, he was going Vila. If this is how you feel now, then how do to teach Kerr Avon how to truly love. And the you imagine I felt? Two years of it, two solid bastard did, Vila. He did. And then he turned years of him being gone, but not dead. Him, into a monster and walked away from me. He out there, ready to come back into my life, left me, Vila, he just walked away from me, taking away all my control, taking charge even when I asked him to come back, he again, taking my ship, my life—everything. wouldn’t. But I knew he was out there, Orac And without a word. I knew he was out there told me so. He made me love him…” somewhere, did you know that? I used to “Don’t cry, Avon, don’t cry. He’s not worth dream, that he was sitting somewhere, over a it, no-one’s worth it.” camp-fire, in some paltry forest, stirring the “Are you saying you never cried over me?” flames with a stick the way he was stirring my “I never did, you know. No point, was soul. Oh, he was there all right. And I knew it.” there? And I knew how to bend, Avon, so I “Avon, are you all right?” never broke.” “Considering the circumstances, I couldn’t “Unlike me?” be better. What the hell do you think? But I “Now, I never said that.” forget myself. You obviously don’t think at “Not in so many words, perhaps. But I all.” don’t care, Vila. I really don’t care. Not any “What are you taking it out on me for?” more.” “Because you’re there and still alive and Breathing now, become audible as the air the former is more than I can say about grew thicker, as the rankness rose from the Servalan and the latter more than I…” bodies and the stench of their own blood filled “Avon? Avon!” the air. 149 ▼▼▼ Sounds, strangled, tearing, ripping sounds. “Not much oxygen left, is there?” “Avon, are you crying?” “Not much at all.” Silence, ever more strangled, smothered in “I don’t want to die, Avon. Don’t let me die!” time. “If it’s any consolation, I would let you go. “Crying? Don’t be stupid, Vila. I never cry— Not much, I know, but it’s the best I can offer, and even if I did, why should I cry now?” for Malodaar.” “Because you’re going to fucking die, that’s “I thought I was going to die then, Avon. I why!” thought you were going to kill me.” “And that’s something to shed tears over?” “And have you miss this?” “Oh, Avon, don’t sound like that. Is being “Don’t sound like that, it frightens me. And alive really so rotten? It can’t be, can it? Isn’t I’m terrified enough already.” there anything you want to do? Nothing you “Why? All death is is the ending of all want?” this…crap. It’ll be over, Vila. And then there “Nothing I don’t have right here in this shall be nothing, nothing at all. No pain, no room. And you can take that any way you fear, no betrayals, nothing. You won’t even want. I no longer care.” know you ever existed.” “Did you ever?” “And that’s supposed to be comforting?” “Yes. Oh, yes, I cared.” “Oh, but I think it is.” “When?” “I’d rather believe in Heaven. Have you “Don’t sound so hopeful, Vila. You don’t heard about that? There was this sect once, want to hear my answer.” took over half Earth it did, before the Gov- “Oh, don’t I? Well, I’ve got news for you, so ernment did something about it. But they there. I do so want to hear your answer. Well, said that when you died, you became this go on. Tell me.” thing—had something on it…” “Blake. That bastard! That unmitigated “Angel. With wings.”

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ ▼ENERY: TERMIN▼S ▼▼▼▼▼ M. FAE GLASGOW ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

“You’ve heard about it?” “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” “Another sign of my dissolute youth.” “Not as long as it feels.” “But doesn’t it sound wonderful, Avon? It was harder now, to breathe, and to think, Sitting on clouds, making love all day to the the living amidst the dead beginning the slow most beautiful people ever born. And that spiral downwards. But one question, one means you’d be there.” more question, before the nightmare could be “Perhaps. After all, my life surely counts as over. the other side of their legend.” “What are you sitting on, Avon?” “You don’t think for a second that Heaven “What do you think?” exists, do you?” “Tell me, Avon!” “No. Not for a second. But for your sake, I And into the rasping stillness it came, on hope I’m wrong.” wings of hideous vision. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to “Blake.” me, you know that?” “You can’t be! How can you sit on him, “Stop snivelling, Vila. Oh, all right. Yes, I when he’s dead? You are mad, aren’t you?” like you, yes I’m fond of you and yes I love you. “But where else should I sit, but on Blake’s Will that shut you up?” dead body? Rather appropriate, don’t you “How much of that was lying, Avon?” think? After all, I always did say my death and “Must you throw every gift back in my his would be linked. I just didn’t know that face?” killing him would be the death of me.” “Thank you, Avon. Means a lot to me.” But shortly, as the last of the oxygen died, “I rather gathered that, over the years.” he was proved right.

150 ▼▼▼

▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▼OBLAQ▼E ▼: in ▼enery ▼eritas ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼