THE RETRIEVER UMBC’s Student Newspaper

INSIDE Volume 38, Issue 27 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 April 27, 2004 Disabled students org. Increased voter turnout News 02 holds inaugural event delays election results

available by the Retriever’s press RYAN DORRILL “Growing up with a disability SUSAN ZAGAR I felt trapped,” she said. However time this week. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Retriever Weekly Staff Writer once high school came she had a The delay was due the numer- Learning disabilities, physical lot of friends and family to sup- The polls of the Student ous amounts of UMBC students handicaps, and language barriers port her and with their help she Government Association closed coming together to vote for candi- on Friday, April 23, 2004 at 11:59 dates – a record-breaking turnout. are just some of the obstacles stu- see SISIA, page 3 dents on a diverse campus like p.m., but the results were not According to Lauren The science of laughter, UMBC have to cope with every Stillwagon, Student Election RSA Block Party and day. The Society of Inspiring Board Chair, “A preliminary count the death of the British Students with Individual Abilities indicates that there were 1,909 phone booth. (SISIA), held its kickoff ceremony votes cast. That total is a new in the University center last record for a UMBC student elec- Wednesday to discuss these issues. tion.” Last spring’s election Over 20 people attended the cere- record consisted of 1,255 voters. Opinion 08 mony and participated in the dis- The new count outdoes the other cussion on growing up with dis- by more than 50%. abilities, interacting with people More than 12,000 students – with disabilities, and achieving undergraduate and graduate - are personal goals. enrolled at UMBC. The meeting opened with “The record is causing a delay Meyerhoff scholar Michael Hunt in processing the results,” said singing “To Dream the Impossible Stillwagon, “which will be avail- Dream,” a performance that over- able early this week.” powered the echoes of the rock The use of Blackboard for Checkmate, fool! concert from the UC below. voting has created a new way for Talking ‘bout TV, Afterwards, SISIA president students to vote, possibly helping politics, celebrities, and founder Kavita Krishnaswamy to increase the number of votes – and chess. introduced freshman Christina but may also have been unpre- Gregg to recite the purpose of the pared for the high turnout. club while Heather O’Brien Freshman Rahil Khalik com- repeated it in sign language. mented, “I thought it was easier Features 18 Essentially, SISIA’s goal is to unify responding through Blackboard. the campus’ disabled population It’s convenient. Some people and to provide support and oppor- don’t even know what Common’s tunities for them. Main Street is,” Khalik said, refer- Afterwards Kavita gave a talk ring to the location of the voting about her experiences with her booths the SGA erected. own disability. She has spinal The election stands apart muscular atrophy, a disease that Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] from other elections not only with necessitates the use of a wheel- En garde: UMBC students face off in a jousting event at Quadmania. the use Blackboard as a voter See article, page 4. record, but also in the unique Features gets manic chair. At first the disease was a hindrance to her. see SGA, page 2 with mania on the quad. UMBC students march for right to choose

SARAH PEVNER started out at 8 in the morning, Sports 27 Retriever Weekly Staff Writer were organized through the schools NOW Chapter. Acting as On Sunday, April 25, about spokesperson, Alison Buckley 40 UMBC students attended what worked with the NOW national the Washington Post described as chapter to set interested students the largest abortion rights march up with transportation. UMBC in history. NOW, along with Women in The March For Women’s Learning and Leadership (WILL) Lives on the Mall in Washington, and the Women’s Center, were D.C., was co-sponsored by the involved in a months-long Six seniors leave American Civil Liberties Union, attempt to raise awareness and Zimmerman, Dragoni Black Women’s Health Imperative, interest for the march. Sign-up Feminist Majority Foundation, rocks her last home sheets for the march were provid- NARAL Pro-Choice America, game, mens lacrosse ed in the women’s center and on National Organization for Women the WILL dorm floor. in a tight spot. (NOW), National Latina Institute Transportation to the march for Reproductive Health and itself was provided by each of the Planned Parenthood Federation of large-scale supporters. The num- America, and the rally brought ber of students traveling together ALSO: over a million people together for to the march determined the Joshua Lottich [Special to the Retriever Weekly] more than five hours. Who’s choice?: UMBC students marched in DC this week to protest see MARCH, page 3 college news 02 The UMBC marchers, who women’s reproductive rights. world news 03 Four Day trw.umbc.edu classifieds 30 410.455.1260 Forecast tues: 62/40o wed: 66/47o thu: 75/52o fri: 78/56o 2 News April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

BehindtheScenes Psychology professor explores the secrets College News of laughter on campus As Wealthy Fill Top Colleges, New Efforts to Level the Field SHIRA HELETZ ple at the student union, the malls, and His book has been reviewed by Discover Retriever Weekly Staff Writer streets. They noted what was said to sup- magazine and Scientific American, among Laughter is a natural human behav- posedly cause the laughter and who others. NN ARBOR, Mich. (New York ior. Although what we laugh at changes as laughed, the speaker or the audience. To Besides studying laughter, Provine Times) — At prestigious universities time goes on, the actual act of laughter is his surprise, most laughter occurred not in has newly started learning a Brazilian around the country, from flagship state ancient. Dr. Robert Provine, psychology response to a joke, or anything slightly form of jujitsu. Before, he studied other colleges to the Ivy League, more and more professor, has spent the last 10 years of his funny. Instead, people laughed after boring martial arts and used to be the advisor for students from upper-income families are life studying this everyday human behav- comments like, “I have to go to class.” the UMBC Tae Kwan do club. Provine edging out those from the middle class, ior. Also, the speaker was twice as more likely also played the saxophone in a jazz quar- according to university data. Provine attended grew up in Tulsa, to laugh themselves than the audience. All tet for about five years. The change is fast becoming one of Oklahoma and attended University of of his research findings were explained in the biggest issues in higher education. Oklahoma as an undergraduate. He went his best-selling book, “Laughter: A More members of this year’s fresh- to Washington University for his PhD. Scientific Investigation.” man class at the University of Michigan Quick Questions: He came to UMBC in 1974, when the Provine was also interested in how have parents making at least $200,000 a University was still starting out, “I had laughter has the ability to tell how people year than have parents making less than heard of a lot of the faculty here by repu- fell towards one another, “Since it’s not the national median of about $53,000, 1. What is your favorite joke? tation, but not of the campus. UMBC consciously controlled, you’re able to get according to a survey of Michigan stu- was a place where you could do the insights about what people think of one dents. At the most selective private univer- research so you can teach what you do.” another. You see a female laughing with a sities across the country, more fathers of Ah! So many jokes, so little time. I have Provine teaches psychology courses male, you can tell that she’s interested.” freshmen are doctors than are hourly no particular favorite but Sensation and Perception along with a Provine also found that laughter is also workers, teachers, clergy members, farm- get a large weekly sample—each of my unique class called the Psychology of influenced by gender. Males are predomi- ers or members of the military — com- Laughter and Humor course class Laughter and Humor. In this class, nately the ‘laugh-getters’ and females tend bined. meetings begins with at least two jokes Provine shares his conclusions from his to laugh more with males than other Experts say the change in the student from students. research done on the patterns of laughter. females. It may be why a sense of humor is population is a result of both steep tuition Provine first worked in neurophysiol- so important to a woman or that there increases and the phenomenal efforts ogy research, working on learning more aren’t many female comedians. many wealthy parents put into preparing 2. What is your favorite place to about neural mechanisms of behavior; To Provine, laughter can tell a lot their children to apply to the best schools. studying how the brain influences behav- about not only the social context but also travel to? It is easy to see here, where BMW 3-series ior. After years of concentration on this, how the brain works. “My objective by sedans are everywhere and students pay up Provine moved his research towards a studying laughter was to choose a topic to $800 a month to live off campus, common everyday occurrence: laughter. often neglected by others, but a great France and England/Scotland enough to rent an entire house in parts of “It’s an interesting behavior. It’s naturally potential for knowledge. My objective Michigan. occurring; no one ever learns how to remained the same: To learn more about Some colleges are starting to take laugh. So I decided to study human how the brain works.” 3. What kind of music do you action. Officials long accustomed to dis- behavior in the same way I’ve studied ani- Provine is proud that he can introduce listen to? cussing racial diversity are instead taking mals.” Very much like Jane Goodall and science in a popular media. He has steps to improve economic diversity. They her gorillas, Provine and his undergradu- appeared on numerous television shows say they are worried that their universities ate research students set out to observe such as the Discovery Channel, ABC’s Eclectic, ranging from jazz and country are reproducing social advantage instead laughter in its natural form, among peo- 20/20, and The Learning Channel( TLC). to western and classic. of serving as an engine of mobility. “It’s very much an issue of fundamen- tal fairness,” Lawrence H. Summers, the president of Harvard, said in an interview. “An important purpose of institutions like High voter turnout leaves campus waiting Harvard is to give everybody a shot at the American dream.” The University of Maryland recently from SGA, page 1 said it would no longer ask students from issues that students are voting for. Current families making less than $21,000 a year SGA president, Scott Nicholson mentioned to take out loans, and would instead give that the election is a record breaking one, them scholarships to cover tuition. PRESIDENTIAL not just in terms of numbers. Officials at Harvard, the University of “This election is a record breaking one, North Carolina and the University of seeing as students are voting for issues that Virginia all recently announced similar, they haven’t voted for in the past, such as even more generous policies. [a] fee increase,” said Nicholson, “It sets a Stanford and Yale have altered early- very good precedent and shows students admission programs, partly out of a con- have a voice and are working together to cern that they give an unfair advantage to SGA come to some understanding of fee students who do not need to compare increase.” financial-aid offers before they can com- He credits the success of last week to mit to a college. SGA’s coming together, “sharing its voice Over all, at the 42 most selective state CANDIDATES through the candidates or the four referen- universities, including the flagship cam- dum questions.” He also stated that the puses in California, Colorado, Illinois, Student Union has been instrumental with Michigan and New York, 40 percent of the success of the election and must be this year’s freshmen come from families thanked. making more than $100,000, up from Other students commented on the about 32 percent in 1999, according to importance of voting. Freshman Miguel the Higher Education Research Institute. Almario commented, “We might as well Nationwide, fewer than 20 percent of vote. It’s our campus. The choices we make families make that much money. affect us.” The recent increase has continued a “It’s great to have democratic ideals,” two-decade trend that extends well declared Christian Ruiz, senior, “It’s good beyond the best-known colleges. for us.” In 2000, about 55 percent of fresh- Another freshman, Tiffany Winterling, men at the nation’s 250 most selective col- asserted, “We should have a voice and be leges, public and private, were from the heard. If you don’t want to be a candidate, highest-earning fourth of households, listen to what they [the candidates] believe compared with 46 percent in 1985, and vote for whichever.” according to the institute, which is based The results of the SGA election will be at the University of California, Los Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] ready this week. SGA president Nicholson Angeles. In limbo: Clockwise from upper left, Dom Cirincione, David Gill, and Ashina Singh may have to said, “Whoever wins will continue to do wait days to find out which of them will be the new SGA president. great work for SGA. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 News 3 UMBC group joins a million more in DC

from MARCH, page 1 By the time the march itself kicked off Slips for Bush” were out in abundance, amount of buses provided by these spon- at noon, it was estimated that there were while some carried more personal messages sors. UMBC was provided two buses for its upwards of a million people in attendance. of hope and remembrance. Other political students, at eight dollars a seat. For an addi- The march, which was about an hour and a activists mingled within the pro-choice tional three dollars, Metro passes were also half long, started at the National Mall and marchers, including John Kerry’s campaign- World News provided. wound itself through the D.C. streets. ers and anti-war activists. The million peo- Since the entire country had mobilized Entire roads were blocked off and guarded ple were said to be comprised of members Cell Phones Making British bus trips for the march, it was impossible to by police on foot, horse, and motorcycle. of at least 60 countries. New York alone get the buses into D.C. The buses, there- A counter-demonstration was kept sent a thousand buses to the march. Booths Obsolete fore, were all required to park at RFK largely decentralized by the police barriers The afternoon rally took place on the Stadium, where officials from each sponsor- that lined the course of the march. There lawn in front of the White House, and LONDON (AP) - Britain’s storied ing group were waiting to meet and direct were groups of anti-abortion protesters stretched back as far as the Washington telephone booths — the classic red ver- marchers. At RFK, the UMBC students scattered throughout the march route, often Monument. Speakers at this portion of the sion and its drab glass cousin — are were also presented with the march included Camryn Manheim, Susan fighting for their lives in what looks like banners that NOW had made Sarandon, Julianne Moore and Kathleen a losing battle with the cell phone. for their delegation, which said Turner. What made these speeches particu- Four out of five Britons now carry “UMBC for Choice”. larly compelling was the inclusion of many mobile phones and pay phones don’t These students marched of the speakers’ children, who were also make as much money as they once did. alongside the entire collection there to support the movement. The company responsible for them of Maryland NOW activists and Performances included Moby, Carly Simon, plans to remove 10,000 by the end of they walked with numerous the Indigo Girls, and various spoken word next year. Maryland officials and other artists. That includes some of the coun- college groups that NOW had March for Women’s Lives provided a try’s 15,000 red booths, which first organized. unique opportunity for college-age femi- appeared nearly 80 years ago and Speakers at the march nists and activists to meet and march along- became a British icon. included numerous organiza- side their forerunners. Infants and children “It’s about balancing an important tional heads, senators, writers, marched alongside college students and public service with a business that needs activists, artists, musicians, adults. There were elderly women and men to cover its costs,” British actors, and celebrities. Whoopi cheering marchers on from benches, stand- Telecommunications PLC director Paul Goldberg emceed the early ing next to counter-demonstrators in Hendron said Thursday. The company Joshua Lottich [Special to the Retriever Weekly] morning portion of the day, and protest, and handing out buttons and signs. plans to operate 65,000 phone boxes introduced leaders such as Lurgest march in history: Over a million protest in DC. Many of these women were veterans of the after the latest round of cuts, down Hillary Rodham-Clinton and choice movement. from 140,000 in 1999. representatives from NOW. The march was carefully organized. The booth follows in the fading Richard North Patterson spoke to the huge carrying signs that included biblical pas- Washington went to great lengths to accom- footsteps of another red British icon, gathered crowd just before the march sages and photographs of partially-aborted modate the expected size of the crowd: the London’s red Routemaster double-deck- kicked off. Also included in the morning fetuses. amount of trains on the Metro was almost er bus — known for its snub nose, portion of the day was a reverend from a The pro-choice protestors in atten- doubled, and police were out in full force. curved lines and hop-on, hop-off rear pro-choice group who spoke about working dance carried signs with both political and Metro also denied access to bikes to allow platform. The bus is quietly being to make it clearer to average Americans that personal messages on them. Signs like trains to carry more passengers. The march replaced by bigger, boxier double-deck- many religious groups support the pro- “Don’t like abortion? Don’t Have One!”, was completely peaceful and included ers and single-decker “bendy buses” choice movement. “Young Feminists Mobilizing” and “Pink members of all parts of society. despite an outcry from fans who say the change is a gradual erosion of Britain’s image. The demise of the phone box has Rained down but not out; SISIA kicks been lamented in the British press, but British Telecommunications says it has no choice: Pay phone revenue has RSA Block Party 2004 off with a dropped 40 percent and the number of calls from public phones has halved in the last three years. commitment Britain ranks among the world PATRICK COYLE the level of coordination between SEB and leaders for cell phone use, with 84 cell Retriever Weekly Staff RSA. SEB is the organization responsible phone subscribers per 100 inhabitants, for the skydiving simulator, the large yel- to increase according to International By 4:45 roughly a hundred students low-and-black jet-powered monstrosity set Telecommunication Union data from were gathered on the temporarily closed up last Friday outside the Public Policy 2002. The leader is Taiwan, where so Center road to participate in the kickoff for building. Brandon Bell of SEB, was partly awareness many people have more than one plan Quadmania 2004. responsible for bringing the simulator to from SISIA, page 1 that there are 106 subscribers per 100 “No,” said one hopeful SEB member UMBC and explained SEB’s choice of inhabitants. In the United States there before the party began, “It is not going to entertainment, “We wanted to take an succeeded. She joined the National Honor are 47.3 subscribers per 100 people. rain.” extreme sports approach,” he said, noting Society, along with a few other organizations, The downward trend could be For about an hour and a half, sheer that as the reasoning behind the Laser Tag to begin her legacy of achievement. Here at painful for tourists. willpower seemed to hold back the clouds. scheduled for Saturday the 24th. When UMBC she is trying to pass that same legacy “If they did reduce the number of The annual block party is the unofficial asked if the Skydiving Simulator was a suc- onto others with the aid of SISIA. pay phones significantly, it would “kickoff” for Quadmania weekend. Center cess, “Definitely,” he said. “I rode twice.” The meeting also included a discussion require tourists to possess a mobile road is closed down and an outdoor gather- The simulator was free with a Quadmania on how to interact with students with disabil- phone,” said Jonathan Brand, 21, a stu- ing is held in place of the steady stream of ticket or $1.00 for UMBC students. The ities. The most important tips included using dent visiting London from Baltimore. traffic. There were games and activities on simulator was open from 11:00 AM to 5:00 the word impaired (as in hearing impaired or Friday, such as tie-dying and a hula-hoop PM, scheduled to close down just as the visually impaired) instead of words such as He and a friend were making a call contest. Also provided was standard picnic block party began. As a result, many deaf, dumb, or blind. Also, they advised not from a red phone box outside the fare - grilled hotdogs and hamburgers, would-be skydivers drifted over for a look at playing with seeing eye dogs or people’s wheel- British Museum. Brand said the one cell chicken, veggie-burgers, potato-salad, and the festivities. chairs. People who rely on those tools to help phone they had didn’t work in Britain. punch, all free if one was willing to stand in The rain picked up around 6:30, and them might but put in a bad situation is some- “We’ve used pay phones two or line. the event planners put into effect the tradi- one handles them improperly. For instance, three times today,” Brand said. “We’re The event opened with an unofficial tional contingency plan for outdoor events distracting a seeing eye dog could confuse the only here for a few days so it doesn’t pay performance by the Mama’s Boys, UMBC’s and moved the party into Harbor visually impaired person it is meant to aid. to rent a cell phone.” male a cappella group, who sang a short set Courtyard to take advantage of the over- The meeting ended with thank-you’s and The red phone box was designed by before moving their concert under Harbor hang. The party continued, though with a a cake cutting ceremony to commemorate the the architect of Liverpool’s Anglican Hall where other bands scheduled to per- much smaller crowd. Strangely, nobody occasion. Krishnaswam, who can’t fully con- Cathedral, Giles Gilbert Scott, and was form that evening. seemed surprised about the downpour, trol her arms and hands, cut the first slice of first introduced in 1927. Scott designed Dominic Cirincione, took time off which by this time had deteriorated into a cake with the help of her SISIA friends. a slightly different version that went from campaigning for SGA president, and light thunderstorm. Small hardcore contin- Those in attendance enjoyed the refresh- into service in 1936 and became the explained about the block party. “It’s the gencies seemed to revel in it, wrestling in ments and learned a lot about disabilities on nation’s standard phone kiosk. first of three events,” he said, “And we’re the grass and jumping in the puddles. By campus. BT replaced thousands of Scott’s expecting 500 to 800 people to show.” 8:30 everyone was wet enough, and sought “It was absolutely an excellent opportuni- booths in the 1980s and 1990s with With thunderstorms immanent, that shelter elsewhere. Still the crowd was all ty,” said junior Katie Annelli. “I’m hard of glass versions and sold the old models seemed an optimistic estimate. SEB has smiles, even with a few close lightning hearing and it’s great to have a community off to collectors. But in the late 1990s, planned two more events before the close of strikes. The mood was summed up by one that understands the challenges you go the company began reintroducing the the school term; the Midnight Breakfast Senior, who said “It’s rained every block through.” popular red models. and the Dive-in Movie. party since I’ve been here. The best Block To learn more about SISIA, look for their What made this block party unique was parties need to have rain.” upcoming bake sale and raffle. 4 News April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 News 5 Police Log

Malicious Destruction of Property pack was stolen from parking lot 7 April 15. A UMBC employee reported that a PVC pipe running between the Commons Telephone Misuse Garage and Stadium complex was damaged April 13. A UMBC student reported that an unknown female had been repeatedly calling Theft from a Building her dorm in Potomac Hall on April 18.

A UMBC employee reported that the Malicious Destruction of Property internal parts of a computer were stolen from the Library April 14. A UMBC student reported that unknown persons pushed over a black Theft- All Others Kawasaki motorcycle while it was parked near Hilltop apartments April 15; the muf- A UMBC student reported that his back- fler of the motorcycle was damaged. 6 News April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 News 7

THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 8 I N

The last blood sport in journalism!04 S What’s on TV? Nothing! I 05 D Less than heroic06 Opinion E

Anyone alive, Letters to the Editor please raise your hand Letters to the editor can be sent to [email protected] or delivered to UC Sometime long ago in an elementary school far far away, most of us learned the golden rule of formal schooling: raise your hand to be called on. We all remem- 214, c/o Letters to the Editor. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and ber rushing to get our hands in the air first, so anxious to answer the teacher’s ques- must be typed or written legibly and include the author’s name and telephone num- tions and impress the class with our smarts. The reason they had to teach us to raise our hands in the first place was to bring some order to the chorus of answers ber. Letters to the Editor cannot exceed 400 words. from anxious, and sometimes knowledgeable, students. Well, what happened to those days? What happened to answering questions when they are asked? What happened to class participation? Somewhere along the line, we lost our willingness to open our mouths in class for any reason besides Why not choice across the board? flirting or other non-school-related chit-chat. You all have seen it. In fact, you see it everyday. There’s that one guy or girl, maybe a small handful of them, who always answer the questions, while the rest There was not much unification on the mall in Washington, DC Sunday. There were many people with of the class stares blankly out of ignorance or apathy. It doesn’t take long for the more than one agenda, but nowhere did I see a sign that these people were unified by the principle that professor to learn who to depend on to answer questions, and the class progresses would follow if you really owned your own body. I would love to see signs promoting the following issues: to a dialogue, or small group discussion at best. Surely, this is bad for everyone. It’s annoying to the rest of the class, who is -Keep abortion legal. sick and tired of the sound of “that guy’s” voice. It’s no doubt depressing for the professor who can’t get the class to acknowledge that they retain anything that -Sex with any adult is legal, regardless of gender. comes out of his or her mouth. And, believe it or not, it stinks for that one guy or girl, who is continually under pressure to save the professor from the sound of crickets when their questions are met with that deathly, uncomfortable silence. -You can put anything into your body that you want, including junk food, cigarettes, drugs, or poison. So, go ahead, be brave. Show you know something. Regain that grade school enthusiasm. Don’t wait for that guy. It will make a better atmosphere for all of us. -Selling parts of your body, such as organs, is up to you, before or after you die.

-What you ask for a wage is your choice. Everybody else can choose to pay you what you ask for or not. Before you raise it, ask yourself:

-Go to the school of your choice or stay stupid. are you “Sure”?

-You can talk to anybody who chooses to listen to you. Look. It is going to be a bit warm on this campus from now until the mid- dle of May. That means humidity, less clothing, sleeveless shirts, and sweating. So let’s go over the basics, shall we? When we wash, armpits get washed twice. Why? Because most people don’t For many of the people on the mall yesterday, choice meant just one of these things. want to smell them. If you have armpits, you should own a stick of deodorant. Jack Crawford Doesn’t matter what the brand is, solid or spray, invisible or oh so white, it just needs to be owned and worn. When you decide you want to raise your hand for an answer in Psyc 100, ask yourself: did I put on my deodorant this morning? Am I sure that I’m dry? If you answer no to any or all of those questions, please refrain from raising your hand. Just shout the answer. We really are trying to preserve the air. Now please don’t take this too personally. It is perfectly reasonable to miss your deodorant every once and a while. But if you are really refusing to wear deodorant because it isn’t part of your “style,” well then, you have a problem. The Retriever Weekly staff Please, be respectful of your classmates, respectful of professor, and respectful of THE RETRIEVER editorials reflect the views of the the greater environment. We, the students of UMBC, don’t really want to smell UMBC’s Student Newspaper editorial board; signed columns your pits. Thanks. and advertisements represent the opinions of the individual writers Edtior in Chief...... Brett Ashley McKenzie Managing Editor and advertisers, respectively, and ...... Amy Segreti do not necessarily reflect those of Nothing says summer time like a Advertising Manager ...... Brandon Dudley Billing Manager The Retriever Weekly or the ...... Elliot Gerlach University of Maryland Baltimore good ol’ fashioned tat News Editor ...... Joseph Howley Assistant News Editor County...... Patrick Tyler Letters to the Editor are Opinion Editor ...... Amber Sampson It’s summer and that means a great many things: shorts, no school, and for Assistant Opinion Editor printed verbatim, although the many people, tattoos. There is something about summer that makes people run to ...... Mary Kate Bukowski editors reserve the right to edit any Features Editor ...... Kaidye Hansen their nearest tat vendor and get some ink slung. What is important to consider is Assistant Features Editor letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, that, like most moms say, it is permanent, so one should give it some thought before ...... Douglas Miller libelous or otherwise in need of Sports Editor ...... Andrew Chaney going under the needle. Assistant Sports Editor revision. The editors further For one thing, don’t go with tattoo fads; the butterfly fad, the tribal fad, and the ...... Kyra Wilson reserve the right not to print any Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones kanji fad were all really stupid and a lot of people have really dumb meaningless tat- Assistant Photography Editor letter for any reason. Letters to the toos for the rest of their lives. This is not to say that all tattoos need a message. Far ...... Anita Field Editor must be typed or written Production Manager ...... Evan Wiegand from it. At the core, tattoos are just pictures that you like enough to have on you for- Production Assistant legibly and include the author’s ever...... Nic Takemoto name and telephone number. Production Assistant...... Vasanthi Abraham Continuing that thought: do not get flash. For those who don’t know, flash is Production Assistant Letters must be received by 12 a pre-drawn tattoo; flash panels of tattoo artists are usually lining the walls of tattoos ...... Noel Mueller p.m. on Thursday and may not Production Assistant ...... James Hamilton studios. If you like the design, personalize it a little. You don’t want to be walking Copy Editor exceed 400 words. down the street and running into someone with your exact same tattoo. This is once ...... Patrick Bladen The Retriever Weekly publish- Illustrator...... Christina Ralls again not to say that one needs to be artistic about tattoos, but play with color and Technology Manager es weekly on Tuesdays during the design a little to make things your own. It’s sort of like tailoring a suit you buy at the ...... Rick Carback regular school year. Editors can be Assistant Technology Manager ...... Paul Swenson store: it becomes more you and looks a hell of a lot better that way. Webmaster reached at (410) 455-1260 during Finally, to clarify some tattooing facts — yes, it hurts, but the pain varies upon ...... Aaron Stahl normal business hours or at Circulation Manager ...... Adam Driscoll where you get the tattoo. Wherever the needle hits bone it will hurt. A few really bad Assistant Circulation Manager University Center 214; 1000 places for tattoos include: ribs (by far the worst), elbow (second), and shin (third)...... Micheal Caputi Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, Faculty Adviser...... Christopher Corbett Any meaty place such as an arm or calf will hurt relatively less, but you are getting Administrative Adviser MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is jabbed with a needle over and over again so it still stings. Secondly, ink does not con- ...... Dr. Patty Perillo an equal opportunity employer. Layout Design Concept...... Brandon Gilbertson trol the pain, the needle does. There are many people who think that certain inks Check us out online: hurt more than other, but this is not true. trw.umbc.edu So think about your tattoos, prepare yourself for the pain, and enjoy. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 9 Opinion Point Counterpoint Political firecrackers fizzle at UMBC UMBC: All about the political activism

the other parties were represented by candi- TREVOR BLANK nuisance than a catalyst to the political process. JOHN LIPKA dates for the state legislature. Since then we We’re not a politically active campus because have held a campus political debate every Sure, UMBC is a politically active cam- the only thing we do is complain and never pro- For those who say UMBC does not have semester that included representatives from pus… if by that you mean the presence of cult- vide any actions or solutions. Booyah! a political presence on campus, think again. each campus political party. like LaRouchians and their plethora of benign It’s about time we college students face the There is a wide range of political groups which I believe events such as these have been facts about Lyndon H. (“H” for “hooligan!”) facts: we suck and have no power. Despite what include both major political parties — really successful in raising awareness in politics LaRouche. Then there are of course the College politicians may say, what we say is meaningless. Republicans and Democrats — and both for college students. The most recent political Republicans and Libertarians. Granted, they It’s unfortunate because there are organizations major third party political parties — event, and I believe it to be the largest, was share their ideologies in small numbers, but have that try and fail to get something going, like Libertarians and Greens. Liberty Week this semester. Almost every cam- no long-lasting effect other than making stu- SCAN. “Politically active” implies stuff getting When I first came to UMBC, I thought pus political party group helped to cosponsor dents late for class with their flyers and stump done, which from a student’s standpoint is prac- that UMBC was just a commuter school this event (except the campus Democrats), and speeches. tically non-existent. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I where not that many people had political even other groups such as the History Student If UMBC were politically active, things have yet to see any real progress being made on interests. But at my first Involvement Fest, I Council, WMBC, Spin, and Students for that actually effect students would have been the political side. Maybe if the fraternities and was surprised at the number of political Environmental Awareness helped. There were dealt with by now. We still have rising tuition, sororities would sponsor politics people would groups. I was particularly surprised that the nearly 20 events ranging from philosophy, reli- and never-ending construction, pay attention; Lord knows I get enough phone Libertarians had a group on campus. gion, history to gun control, the drug war, etc. It seems as though this campus has what I messages from those lovely plebeians. Being a Libertarian myself, I joined up This type of outreach and the good turnout like to call “pseudo-politicians”: those who dress When it comes down to it, the only true and have been active in the UMBC proves that interest in politics has a definite up, yap about politics with their Starbucks cof- power we have is with a vote. Now get out of Libertarians ever since. We have hosted many political presence at UMBC. fee in hand, hold up meaningless posters about my way, I have to get to Spanish class. events over the past few years; the first one that things they can’t change, and wear silly shirts I can remember being our governor candi- John Lipka is a staff writer for the Retriever bearing semi-harsh but ultimately non-threat- Trevor Blank is guest writer for the Retriever dates’ forum two years ago, where only the Weekly. He can be reached for comment at ening slogans. Ok, so we do have some people Weekly. He can be reached for comment at opin- Libertarian nominee agreed to show up and [email protected]. that are politically active, but they’re more a [email protected].

Quotes from the Quad photos by Stephanie Potter What puts the “mania” in Quadmania?

LaToya Smith, 17 Feshman, Politcal Science “The Students.” Mike, from Real World Lovely Sibug, 19 “When the Miz comes to the quad, that’s Sophomore, Nursing when the mania starts. Are you ready?” “The diversity.”

Chris Reese and Jessie Dulaney 18, Feshman, Political Science,Theater “All the free stuff.”

Vathany Say and John Lee, Senior, Sociology,Anthropology/ IFSM “The sun and booze and funnel cakes.” 10 Opinion April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Celebrification of the media and the E! in all of us

AMY SEGRETI on to find out who Jennifer Lopez’s newest speedier nature. We want instant gratifica- nalism is the last blood sport in journalism. husband is. The problem is, this is what the tion, and stories about an ongoing war in It’s extremely competitive.” The current trend in American media is public wants, and since one of the media’s pri- Palestine won’t give that to us. We’re getting Journalists and photographers are in a that content is becoming more diverse. mary responsibilities is to provide the public used to stories that will satisfy us instantly — fast-paced competition to get the next celebri- Television news, news magazines, and news- with information that they want to hear, the entertainment gossip-type news provides this ty coverage before another paper, and will go papers carry a wider range of topics than they media complies to the public’s demands. for us. to extreme measures to get it. The world used to. But most of the new diversity is However, some of the celebrity-related But is there more of an interest in the wants to hear all about Britney Spears’ spon- much softer — lifestyle, entertainment, news currently is more than just trivial. There breaking news of Michael Jackson than there taneous marriage in Vegas, and each media celebrity news—rather than hard news or are celebrities who are rape defendants, is in the breaking news of the war in Iraq? outlet is trampling over any and everything to news about diverse communities or popula- celebrities who are musicians accused of child Sometimes, yes. The media doesn’t force get to it first. In this sense, journalists could tions. According to the State of the News abuse. There are even celebrities who are gov- celebrity-driven news down the public’s argue that celebrity coverage is smart busi- Media, a yearly study of the media compiled ernors. “I’m not convinced there is more throat — their mouths are ready and waiting ness. This way, competitive and public pres- by the Project of Excellence, the percentage of celebrity coverage as I am convinced there are to devour the next case of an athlete caught sures provide a justification for celebrity cov- lifestyle and celebrity entertainment articles a lot more celebrities,” said Dean Baquet, selling drugs. Celebrity coverage sells — the erage — if one paper doesn’t do it, their com- totals up to 31 percent of an entire newspa- managing editor of the Los Angeles Times in an whole range of it. As a general rule, journalists petitor will, and they’ll get the sales, viewers per. article on the Poynter website. On this same will attract more, not fewer readers and view- or readership. So while there is a dramatic This type of coverage has increased sig- vein, perhaps more celebrities are also taking ers if they include some element of celebrity increase and disproportionate emphasis on nificantly in the past decade. The new trend part in things the media would normally coverage in the information they offer to the celebrity news, it’s what the public wants and of putting the “Hollywood” world at the fore- report about anyway — crime and politics. public. “There’s an interest on the part of the isn’t driven by the media alone. front of our media has gotten a bit out of Another point is that since the ways in public to know this stuff, to know about the hand, and one wonders how long it will be which we get information has increased in the personal lives of private people,” said Ken Amy Segreti is the Managing Editor for the until, when people say, “Turn on the news,” forms of the internet and television, we’ve Baker, West Coast executive editor of Us Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for com- one will think automatically of E! and turn it become accustomed to stories of a shallower, Weekly magazine. “I would say celebrity jour- ment at [email protected]. Caption Goes Here “Dubya of the Jungle ”

Send your caption ideas for this Submitted by: James Frank photo to [email protected] or Graduate Student [email protected] by this Friday.

The most creative caption will run in next week’s paper. Be sure to include your name and year with your caption suggestion. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Opinion 11 Spring is in the air, and we’re loving every minute of it!

ASTRID SPERLING outfits, and sometimes I wonder how guys still walk across campus without knocking things over. However, within the last few I have been waiting for this, probably days I have already seen more happy couples since last June. March 21 came and went, than in the whole year before. Everyone is but still it wasn’t here. But now my waiting showing off their new spring love and this is is over: spring is here. Of course, it mostly the time to do it. Because everyone is in high depends on the nice weather, but that is not spirits, no one will get annoyed with all that all of it. Spring is my favorite time of the lovey-dovey stuff that would drive us up the year; it becomes even more valuable as wall in December.) Maryland usually has a very short spring- Another reason I love spring is that time, or none at all. everyone is healthy and in the shape of their Spring is so much better than fall; even lives. We all have been successfully fighting though the temperatures might be somewhat off that cold and at the same time worked the same, you can always tell yourself that out like crazy to get back into that beach summer is coming next and not the nasty body that we put on display last summer. old winter that seems to last longer every Right now, everyone still appreciates those year. I generally know that spring has arrived warm temperatures; later on in the summer when I hear all the little birds singing their and even fall, people complain about the songs. Also, all the trees are blooming, the heat and say, “It’s been enough already.” But grass is rich and green, and, once in a while, during those first nice days everyone is a bug flies by, but not in large groups like in happy about finally putting that winter coat the summer. So, with all these things around in a big box that not even a little rain can us, how could you not be happy? bring us down. And those cicadas are not Spring is also the time when I see bun- going to put a stop to our good mood — at nies hopping, squirrels going nuts, and birds least, not yet. almost falling out of trees because they have I wish it was spring all year around. been singing so loud. Of course these ani- Everything is better, even the air seems to be mals are so ecstatic because it’s been almost a cleaner as it smells like flowers and freshly year since they last coupled up to create the cut grass. People feel bad about sitting inside next generation of Easter bunnies. on beautiful days, and they should. Go and (By the way, this behavior seems to be have fun outside, everyone else is already contagious — students, too, are acting dif- there, enjoying the best season of the year. ferently. Not only is everyone very happy already, but the men especially don’t know Astrid Sperling is a staff writer for the where to look first these days. All the girls Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for com- bring out their very short and barely-there ment at [email protected]. Turn off your television set and turn up your thinker

IAN BUKOWSKI people who had a childhood like mine: big issue. People argue that schools aren’t been meaning to, or even to do something those who like books. Why, might you ask, being accountable or that not enough like (gasp) read a book. Think about the last would one turn off their television for the money is being spent on education, but time you were doing something fun, the last What’s better than watching reruns of entire week? What could be gained in just miss sight of the fact that their own chil- time you were at a concert or having fun Lingo on the Game Show Network? Oh, this small week? dren are vegetating instead of doing home- outside—did you think to yourself, “Wow, that’s right… Anything. And this past The average American watches over work. I sure wish I were watching TV right now!”? week, the debate of what to watch on TV four hours of television daily. A look at the But, you might say “Bill, you’re being TV typically amounts to little more wasn’t even a question. Why, you might U.S. suggests that we’re increasingly obese too cynical!” or, “Bill, but what can we do?” than filler: it’s easier than actually doing ask? This past week was National Turn off and increasingly violent. Education reform Besides reminding you that my name defi- something and certainly easier than talking TV Week, that’s why! and family structure are important con- nitely isn’t Bill, I’d simply point out the fact to people. But is that how you want to The TV-Turnoff Network, formerly cerns. People talk about political apathy that half of Americans already think they spend your time? Would you rather be just TV-Free America, celebrated its tenth and a lack of motivation among America’s watch too much TV. filling your hours up or doing something anniversary this year, advocating more read- youth. Simply put, pick a political issue, TV-Turnoff week isn’t as much about you actually enjoy? Think about it. You ing and less watching. Their biggest annual there’s a decent chance that television at fighting that great tube of evil, but a simple might have missed TV-Turnoff week this event, TV-Turnoff Week, from April 19-25, least contributes to that problem. reminder that there are more important year, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t brings together a grassroots coalition of I don’t mean to suggest that TV is evil things in your life. Go outside and play; think twice the next time you decide to sit librarians, teachers, concerned parents, and or that it is destroying America. Far from it, enjoy the weather. Improve your relation- around and watch the boob tube. community organizations in order to turn there are worthwhile programs, whether ships by actually talking to your friends, off the old magic box and turn on their you want entertainment, enlightenment, or family, and loved ones. Read a book. I’m Ian Bukowski hates Lingo with a passion noggins instead. just plain distraction. Television isn’t neces- not even asking you to cut out that entire and spent the first half of his life prohibited While counterculture kiddies, like sarily a problem; it’s the degree to which four hours; if you watched just two hours of from watching television other than PBS. He those over at Adbusters Magazines, would people watch it. When American children TV a day (that’d be about the equivalence is a staff writer for the Retriever Weekly, and love to claim this week as their own idea, spend more time annually with their eyes of seeing a movie, every single day), think can be reached for comments, jokes, phone protesting the corporate influence in com- glued to cartoons and commercials than in of the time you’d have to woo that girl you number requests, and other fun stuff at mercials, the responsibility rests squarely on school, it’s no wonder education is such a work with, or go to the gym like you’ve [email protected]. 12 Opinion April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER My world may be plastic, but it’s not quite so fantastic

MARY KATE BUKOWSKI to make you happy, then spring for the boob The worst part is, this isn’t even the worst ing services from experts, who would claim to job. Silicone yo’ body to your little heart’s of it. The FOX Network goes so far as to be doing everything within their professional Heroes. When I think of whom I look up content. That’s totally your operative preroga- advocate its self-proclaimed rescue of women capabilities to get their beautification on, kick to, the bravest of the courageous and most tive. from their own bodies, perpetuating the belief the girls off the show for what? Not being courageous of the brave, one name reverber- What I’m saying is that these cosmetic that going under the knife is not only desir- pretty enough? Yeah, that’s the way we female ates through my humble brain like the coura- procedures are being heralded, and heralded able, but actually admirable. Their newest types like it: being convinced we’re unattrac- geous echoes of the most inspirational words incorrectly, as heroic. As in, “Look what this addition to their primetime lineup is The tive, then being told that hey, sorry, this is as of the greatest hero who ever braved. That person has been able to do! Such an inspira- Swan, a game/reality show that premiered in good as it’s gonna get for you, semi-hot lips. name is, of course, Pamela Anderson. tion! And to think — plastic (and other fun March. According to FOX’s official website Good work there, FOX. I love it how For whatever reason, cosmetic surgery inserts and incisions) made it possible.” for the program, www.fox.com/swan, The television’s always able to put the “hip” back just doesn’t quit; showing up everywhere from I think we owe it to ourselves to be a lit- Swan provides plastic surgery to “average” in “hypocritical” and keep the “super” in the early experiments of the aforementioned tle more cynical here. Or even just a little women, offering “the incredible opportunity “superficiality.” diva of the dune buggies to the recent big- more honest. Running out of weight-loss to undergo physical, mental and emotional In terms of both gastric bypasses and the time celebrity gastric bypass surgeries of The options and having your stomach stapled as a transformations with the help of a team of operations that usually fall under the veil of Today Show’s Al Roker, American Idol’s Randy last resort does not constitute bravery. experts.” The “incredible opportunity?” general plastic surgery, the world would do Jackson, and Ozzy’s Sharon Osbourne. Especially when it is becoming commonplace Facelifts, tummy tucks, and juicin’ the well to remember that these aren’t some amaz- Now, to clarify from the start, restorative for individuals to attempt to pack on more caboose have become “incredible opportuni- ing new methods to easily and inconsequen- procedures and surgeries to combat the grow- pounds to meet the obesity standards of the ties?” tially shake off what your mama gave you: ing morbid obesity rates are valid operations. surgery: at least 80 pounds overweight in But wait, there’s more! The cosmetics are these are expensive, risky, and usually irre- The world has the technology and is in the females and 100 in males (a body mass index to prepare the contestants to enter a beauty versible medical operations that individuals position to help people. It truly is remarkable of over 40 for either gender). pageant with the catch being that “those not request. And it would just be nice if the atten- that modern science has the ability to repair And in terms of most famed celebrity up to the challenge are sent home.” Ah-hem. tion around these fat-losers could be a little physical deformities and abnormalities, and it gastric bypasses, there is no remarkable story, Translation? If you’re not cute, you’ll get the more dignified and a little less venerable. is good that gastric bypass surgeries are avail- no intensive struggle, no moving battle: just boot. able to save the lives of those with severe upwards of $30,000 (that may or may not be What. The. F. Mary Kate Bukowski is the Assistant weight problems. If cosmetic surgery is some- covered by insurance) and stomachs that can Doesn’t that just sound like a huuuuge Opinion Editor for the Retriever Weekly. thing that you or a physician reasonably only hold one cup of food after their respec- self-esteem booster? Rope in a pack of the Sometimes, to express distaste or anger, she deems necessary or beneficial, go for it. Hell, tive surgeries. In other words, they had the ladies that already feel as though their appear- briefly considers using the phrase, “Man, this if a breast augmentation is really what’s going G’s, so they could drop the lb’s (pronounced ances are lacking — more “ho-hum” than “va- liposucks.” She can be reached for comment at el bees for cool rhyming purposes). va-voom,” I’m guessing — and after provid- [email protected]. It’s madness, I tell you, March Madness!

KEN HEYER Okafor and Diana Taurasi were on the lips of ed message this sends to, most especially, the should be expected of most college students. millions of young basketball playing poor inner-city youth of our nation. It is no mystery why the NCAA, its On a Monday evening a couple of weeks wannabes, and the media simply couldn’t get Congratulations to the UConn Huskies are coaches, the networks and their sportscasters ago, the University of Connecticut outplayed enough of them. Their names and faces certainly in order, but please, let’s try to keep tout basketball so heavily, and treat college a gallant but overmatched squad from adorned newspapers and magazines nation- this in some perspective. Hard as it is to basketball (as well as college football) as if in Georgia Tech to advance to the national wide (and not only in the sports pages). In believe after watching a month’s worth of vir- the grand scheme of things it were something championship of men’s college basketball. the past, both in college basketball and col- tually nonstop college basketball coverage, more than merely an entertaining diversion. The following evening the Connecticut lege football, such accomplishments have led there actually are other pursuits being College basketball happens to be a multi-bil- women captured the women’s title by defeat- to widely-reported phone calls to the win- engaged in by our nation’s youth that are lion dollar business, and it is a commercial ing Tennessee. And, as another spectacularly ning team from the President, invitations to more worthy of public attention and recogni- activity upon which many universities, coach- successful NCAA college basketball tourna- join him at the White House, all that impres- tion. es, sportscasters and advertisers owe their fame ment came to an end, a virtual tidal wave of sionable young men and woman could ask As but one example, a few days before and their fortunes. Sadly, the skilled players congratulations and adoration descended for. students from the University of Connecticut responsible for filling those massive athletic upon the school, its coaches, and its stellar What a sad commentary on our collec- became such magnets for the attention and centers and enriching others with unheard of athletes. The names of star players Emeka tive sense of priorities. And what a misguid- emulation by virtue of their skill at playing sums of television money too often receive basketball, college students at this campus neither a real education nor any financial secu- just outside the nation’s capital had an even rity from those very few career opportunities more laudable achievement: They defeated open to them in the NBA. the University of Texas at Dallas to win the What is more than a little dismaying, national collegiate championship in chess. If however, is that so few influential individuals you were not connected in some way to or institutions give equal, or more than equal UMBC, or if you blinked while scanning the time, to those accomplishments of our nation’s national media, you can be excused for hav- young people that are far more laudable than ing missed it. In stark contrast to the atten- is hitting a basket at the buzzer, or keeping tion and adulation given college students one’s feet in bounds while catching a forward who happen to be adept at shooting or slam- pass. Our media, our politicians, and our edu- ming a round ball through a hoop suspended cators could, by giving non-athletes greater ten feet above a hardwood court, nothing recognition, do a far better job of motivating remotely resembling that level of exposure our impressionable youngsters so that they was afforded their UMBC contemporaries would devote their energies to more produc- for equal proficiency at exercising their tive pursuits. One way to start might be to minds. No national headlines. No prime time spend even a fraction of the time and effort interviews with the coach. No fame. No currently devoted to, say, the annual strong message to our nation’s youth from McDonald’s high school basketball tourna- leading commentators and opinion shapers ment to extolling the even more extraordinary that mental achievements and academic suc- youngsters who compete in the annual cess are at least as worthy of emulation. Siemens Westinghouse math and science com- Like millions of other Americans, I petition for high school students. Or, to spend watched the nationally televised men’s bas- it covering the accomplishments of those ketball championship. Announcers praised remarkably talented chess players from players for being real “students of the game,” UMBC — who, in an earlier round of the and for being so dedicated that they’d likely be competition shut out a team from MIT (yes, reviewing game film once they got back on that MIT). Just for the record, in case you campus Wednesday. In a similar vein, the head managed somehow to avoid seeing or hearing coach of Oklahoma State, one of the two it reported elsewhere, the winning UMBC teams that lost in Saturday’s semi-finals, was team included captain Eugene Perelshteyn, commended for having his players stay over in Pawel “The Polish Magician” Blehm, Pascal San Antonio to watch the finals live along “The Frenchman” Charbonneau and Alex with him. “Shows you the kind of guy he is,” “The Invincible” Onischuk. The alternate was one of the announcers more or less said. Well, “Bruci “The Cuban Cyclone” Lopez. These yeah. I guess it does. But exactly what kind of are the type of college students we should be message is this supposed to be sending to his championing and emulating. Congratulations players, and more generally, to the viewing on a job well done. audience? I didn’t, by the way, see players from the other losing semi-final team, Duke Ken Heyer is an economist at the Antitrust University, in the stands. Maybe they were Division of the United States Department of Courtesy of Alan T. Sherman there and I just happened to miss them. Or Justice and a guest contributor to the Retriever perhaps they were back on campus studying or Weekly. He can be reached for comment at Mad or genius?: Captain Eugene Perelshteyn contemplates his next move. attending class, which is something that [email protected]. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Advertisement 13 14 Advertisements April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Advertisement 15

1616 UMBC STUDENT RECOGNITION WEEK

A week set aside to acknowledge and highlight the phenomenal level of student achievement at UMBC. We are very proud of our students and have many reasons to celebrate, appreciate and applaud all of your efforts and great works. May this week serve as a reminder that faculty, staff, and administrators at UMBC are grateful for your accomplishments and know that UMBC is a better, stronger community because of YOU. Annual Pi Mu Epsilon & Math/Statistics Council of Majors Induction Ceremony Program You are difference makers at UMBC! (Note: Event has already happened) • Winners of 6 different departmental April 23 scholarships or awards Student Alumni Award in Philosophy. 3-6pm • Federal Reserve System Excellence Albin O. Kuhn Library, 7th Floor Philosophy students and interested others are Award Inaugural address by UMBC President invited. • Wall Street Journal Excellence Award Freeman Hrabowski, Undergraduate Research Highlights by Dr. Madhu, award ceremony and • Outstanding Alumnus Award and Teacher End of the Semester Celebration - Health induction ceremony, invited lecturer – Dr. of the Year and other Departmental Awards Administration and Policy Program Gene A. Berg, National Security Agency. (HAPP) 25th Annual Student Recognition Day May 5 Undergraduate Research & Creative Students chosen for awards by academic depart- 4-5pm Achievement Day ments This event is to celebrate all HAPP majors Recognizing UMBC’s Undergraduate Students graduating May 2004. Students recognized May 2 Who Have Produced Significant Research and for achievement are: 1:30pm Kira Medaris - HAPP Council of Major’s Book Created Works UC, Ballroom Scholarship and Departmental Honors April 28 Each of the UMBC’s academic departments Jamie Chew - HAPP Council of Majors’ Book 9am-3pm, gives an award to six students of junior or Scholarship Albin O. Kuhn Library & Gallery, 7th Floor senior rank for exceptional academic per- Julie Barlage - Barbara E. Burkman Endowment The eighth annual celebration of undergraduate formance, outstanding achievement, or excel- Fund Scholarship and Departmental Honors research featuring projects presented in poster lence in leadership or service. Participation Shaina Margolese - Departmental Honors sessions, oral presentations, performances and is by invitation only, for award recipients and Danielle Wilder - Departmental Honors artistic exhibits. Free and open to the public. their guests. For further details including an event schedule UMBC May Graduates Day and visitor parking information, please visit Student Leadership Awards Ceremony http://www.umbc.edu/urcad or call (410) 455- 7:00pm May 5 All Day 6865. UC, Ballroom A campus-wide recognition program designed Events centered in The Commons This is a day set aside to celebrate and honor Sociology and Anthropology Honor to celebrate the significance of student leader - our graduating undergraduates and graduate Society Induction Ceremony ship and involvement at UMBC. Sponsored by students. We are very proud of you and your April 30 the SGA, GSA, and the Division of Student Affairs. accomplishments and want to recognize your 6:30 - 8:30pm achievements. You are a part of our UMBC Public Policy Building Resident Student Association Student family! A sample of the day includes: Eligible Sociology undergraduate and graduate Division of Student Affairs Breakfast (8:30- (RSA) and Community Activities Board students will be inducted into the Alpha Kappa 10:30am) Delta Honor Society, and eligible (CAB) Recognition Banquet May Graduates Fair with Office of Student Life, Anthropology students will be inducted into May 4 Alumni Relations, Career Development Center, the Lambda Alpha Honor Society. The ceremo- 7:30pm University Health Services, Chevy Chase, SGA, The Commons, Skylight Room ny will be followed by a reception. The event GSA, UMBC Graduate School, Professional All members of RSA, CAB and National is by invitation only. Education and Training, Athletics, Honor Residence Hall Honorary (NRHH) members Societies (12-2pm) Department of Economics Honors Banquet will be recognized during the ceremony. It is Chapter of Young Networking Social (5:30- May 1 an invite only reception. 7:30pm) 6-9pm Student Events Board (SEB) End of the Year Gifts from offices at the Fair and discounts from This annual banquet, which has been held Recognition Dinner the Wood Company and the UMBC Campus every year for nearly three decades, honors our outstanding economics majors, financial (SEB Executive Board Members) Bookstore economics majors, and administrative sci- May 4 ences students. New members of Omicron 9pm UMBC May Graduates Day Social with Delta Epsilon are inducted, departmental The SEB executive board will go out for dinner Alumni Graduates and Young Alumni Social scholarships and awards are announced, and together as one last hoorah and a way of cele - May 5 several other awards are made. RSVP is brating our success throughout the year. An 5:30-7:30pm required. Honors include: invitation is required. The Commons, Skylight Room • New Inductees into Omicron Delta Your Alumni Association is throwing a party to Epsilon, the International Economics Annual Philosophy Awards celebrate the end of your time as a UMBC stu- • Honor Society May 5 dent and welcome you as an alumnus/alumna of 12:30pm your alma mater. Enjoy refreshments, receive • Outstanding Graduating Senior in FA 536, Philosophy Conference Room gifts, network with alumni and other May grad- Economics We hold the event to present gifts to the uates, and learn about the exciting programs • Outstanding Graduating Senior in recipients of our annual departmental awards: and money-saving benefits available to UMBC Financial Economics the Senior Book Prize and the Glen Trawinsky alumni. The event is casual so don’t worry • Outstanding Graduating Senior in each of Student Leadership Award. We’ll also be about dressing up, just grab some of your fel- acknowledging this year’s recipient of UMBC’s the Administrative Sciences Certificate low graduates and come on over for a great time. ECOGNITION WEEK 17 al level of student achievement at UMBC. We are very proud iate and applaud all of your efforts and great works. May this ors at UMBC are grateful for your accomplishments and know g r community because of YOU. makers at UMBC! Music Student Honors Recital Students who have achieved excellence in perform- ongoing commitments to Jewish life on cam- ance during the spring semester pus. RSVP by calling 410 455-ALUM by Friday, May 11 4/30/04 Office of Student Life Student Recognition 8pm Reception – Recognizing our Peer Fine Arts Recital Hall Career Development Center Student Advisors, Office Assistants, Technology A recital of classical solo and chamber music Assistant Appreciation Open House by UMBC students. Everyone is invited. Coordinator, Marketing Interns, Leadership May 6 Peer Advisors 10am-3pm Graduate Student Association End-of-the- Math Psychology, Room 204 May 11 Year Cookout 11:30am-1:30pm May 12 The Commons, Suite 336 These Summer Days, but Oh... Those Res 5-9pm We celebrate the entrepreneurial spirit, Life Nights! The Commons, Cabaret leadership, vision and hard-work our stu- (All Residential Life Employees) Join GSA in celebrating the end of the year. dents provide as they build student life at We are grilling out (and yes, we will have May 7 UMBC. We are grateful for all they do to make veggie burgers too). Come eat, drink, listen to 6pm UMBC theirs and all that they do to make sure live music, sing a song, and relax before This is the end-of-the-year banquet for the that their peers have a great experience– our finals!! *Proper identification required for entry Residential Life where employees are recog- students are Difference Makers at UMBC! nized for their hard work throughout the year. (ages 21 & up). Invite only and RSVP to Donna or Sharon at Commons Administration Student Staff 410-455-3932 by April 27, 2004. Appreciation McNair Scholars/Fellows Dinner May 11 May 19 Student Government Association (SGA) 11:30am-1:30pm 5:30pm Inauguration for Departing and Newly The Commons, Cabaret The Commons, Skylight Room Elected Officers of the SGA The achievements of the McNair scholars and May 9 Student Awards Luncheon - Outstanding fellows will be recognized and all mentors 6pm Undergraduate Students Alumni will be saluted for their great work. The Commons, Skylight Room Association Scholarship Winners The SGA Inauguration includes the formal 2004 Honors College Medallion Ceremony May 11 swearing-in of newly elected student body for the Honors College Graduating Class of 12-2pm officers and a reception for old and new SGA Alumni House 2004 members and guests. Both outgoing SGA The UMBC Alumni Association and the May 19 President Scott Nicholson and his successor Department of Institutional Advancement are 7:30pm will address the gathering. This event is by proud to recognize this year’s Outstanding This event will recognize the Honors College invitation only. Undergraduate Students at an open house Graduating Class of 2004, who will receive luncheon. Selected by faculty in each academic the Certificate of General Honors and receive Greek Awards Banquet for Greek program, these students are recognized for the Honors College Medallion. The Honors Community Chapters their academic stature, service and scholarly College Director and representatives of the May 10 activity and will receive a $500 award to Honors College Parents Association will offer 5-8pm pursue undergraduate or graduate study. In congratulations to the students upon their The Commons, Skylight Room addition, the Alumni Association will award successful completion of the Honors program, This event is designed to celebrate all of the five $1200 scholarships to students who have and the Provost will confer the Honors hard work and accomplishments of the Greek distinguished themselves academically and College Medallion upon each graduate. community chapters during the 2003-2004 through service to UMBC and the community. Invite only. academic year. We come together to break These scholarships are made possible through bread, celebrate, and begin focusing on the the generosity of GEICO Direct and our alumni Pre-Commencement Breakfast - work ahead of us in the upcoming year. This donors. This event is by invitation only. Graduation Candidates in the College event is by invitation only. of Engineering and Information Offices of Admissions, Orientation, Technology Annual Hillel of Greater Baltimore Student Financial Aid, and Scholarships This includes Computer Science, Computer Recognition Awards Student Appreciation Banquet for student Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Chemical May 10 workers and volunteers, STARS, Engineering and Information Systems majors. 7pm Ambassadors, OPA’s, SOPA’s May 20 Park Heights Jewish Community Center, May 11 9am, Atrium of the Engineering Building Baltimore 5pm Pre-Commencement breakfast honoring Hillel of Greater Baltimore will recognize the This program recognizes the hard work of our the graduation candidates in the College of achievements and contributions of outstanding students throughout the year. We will provide Engineering and Information Technology. student leaders involved with Hillel; three dinner and the presentation of gifts of appre - Candidates and their families and faculty UMBC students will be honored this year. ciation. Invite only. and staff are invited to a continental These awards reflect contributions in the breakfast from 9-9:30am. At 9:30am we areas of leadership, service, learning, and will move to Lecture Hall V for awards and presentations to the graduation candidates. - fit 22 I INSIDE e eading ead by r e oup to a con Kaidye Hansen - YS suck, and this A see KANYE, page W 20 21 21 23 into the play. By the end of into the play. THE RETRIEVER Mimi. The working tagline of e There was a bit of a wait, and There s Heidi Heimsal [Retriever Staff] owd. owd. before hand. Also, separate lines before for men and women kind of make taking a multi-sex gr All complaints chore. cert a real withstanding, I got in wher in, which is right at the front of in, which is right at the front cr the 14- from bit of annoyance pushing me (Whoyear-olds are at kids ‘bows throw lucky I don’t with braces), but then the lights off and it was all worthwent it…until the opening acts came one thing I’ve there’s out. If a historylearned from of Hip- that the open- concerts, it’s Hop ing acts AL particular R&B singer was really tem- the show Luckily corny. up with a battle porarily livened breaks big - oom 119 of the Theatre building, which April 27, 2004 April 27, Better moves audience ed two o scor ella inside? e oices covering Big Creek ead by Matt McGloin) and the mystical Mimi (r ednesday Reading Series plans to have one mor (r eby bringing the audience mor isability, not an inability not an isability, y ough my head as I D wo weeks ago, Eric Thomas’ Spectator was read, and this past UMBC’s Theater Council of Majors now puts on a Wednesday T As the reading went on, the readers got progressively more into Students slowly got up and conversed with the readers and play- The W Henr eading debuts Mimi in r be completely serious oles ther bring and umbr and the sappy “N o I reading, and refers to the seated read-through of a work in progress in That question was soon to be T ” der to obtain feedback. ednesday saw the debut of Grant Huang’ t ’ Heated: reading series proves to be a big hit Wednesday department’s Theatre Second r a could easily pass for a loft in the more rundown section of New York, This process is called handful of students prepare to debut an original play. a or Reading Series every during which they read original stu- other Wednesday, dent plays in progress and then hold a discussion afterwards. The read- ings are open to all, and are worth attending. W before the end of the semester, the evening of at 7:30 pm. Next of May 5th, the evening before the end of the semester, year they plan to move the event into the Commons Cabaret. Mimi, “love will find you,” connects to the play on many different levels. the reading there were was not many empty seats left, and the applause thunderous. their r wright, grabbing some of the giant feast from Giant to snack on and pulling chairs into a circle to discuss the play. McKenzie Bowling) emotionally discuss existence, love and sanity. ossed the campus to the RAC wing, but they hav All about the mania on the Quad All about the top was “Could Kanye do it live?” was “Could Kanye is a great “The College Dropout” album, but it combines instru- ments like the violin and piano, often with soulful v would be one thing the hooks. It to get that all together in the stu on dio, but could he do it live stage? why Lord with “Good replaced can though, the main thought that was going thr cr to Suffice out here!” raining It’s say UMBC would be advised to announce security measures Love.” hits with “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop, hits with “Can’t S lo Female Transport - - 25 eat- oung Y om the like spoken egated lines e see NERD, page toppin’ the charts? But toppin’ JOHN ELLIS s ’ oc members, the West kicked off the three West R e They wasted no time in get Retriever Weekly Staff Writer That was the question that What if somebody fr w Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] orite subject, cocaine and clap ds, it was mor unz have yet to gain a huge fol- yet unz have pparently I walked in right as a pparently posely showed up late to skip out posely showed on the gender-segr and the forgettable opening acts. A band was ending forgettable rock Thankfully Clipse was their set. to hit quick about getting ready the stage and no radio personali- present. ties were their ting into what is apparently fav that pin them thangs. Normally move kind of mindless rap doesn’t either me, but for some reason, words, and he came to UMBC words, instead of College Park? posed as Quadmania this year’s College Dropout own Hip-Hop’s Kany with an assist from day festival fello Gunz. Rocafella’s super-produc- Rocafella’s Gunz. er/rapper has been riding the suc- most cess of one of the years talked about albums while cr ing top hits for everyone from Young The Twista. to Alicia Keys G Chi that was Ill got a deal with a Chi that was Ill label that bout coke and talkin’ he wasn’t bir oups have erage rap cat. formers) Clipse is per t aking a note of what had ither way both gr Anita Field [Retriever Staff] E M eady to go crazy when they hit concer popular with their slightly more and “When the hits “Grindin” of course (which were Time” Last the Neptunes). by produced formed quite a buzz, with syn- a bizarre N.E.R.D. creating thesis of synth-pop and Led and the Clipse with Zeppelin, their grimy lyrics that come hard- er than the av as a fan of both, I was way, Either r the stage. I pur- Thursday, happened on - ell harr Kanye and the Young Gunz find their spaceship. Kanye and the Young wn band N.E.R.D. creates a bizarre synthesis of synth-pop and Led Zeppelin. of an impact e brought to so brought e eptunes, P v ’ JOHN ELLIS

tists, their o

Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

It’s hard to imagine someone hard It’s Features

18 18 Kanye carefully chooses songs to stimulate audience Rockin’ Quadmania : die? Does N.E.R.D. fly or who has had mor Thursday Night Madness: Williams and Chad Hugo. It and Chad Hugo. Williams would be simpler to list the num produce ber-one hits they didn’t despite all of the to be honest. But success they on music in the last five years on music in the last five than the N many ar N.E.R.D. has been largely likely the masses. It’s by ignored that outside the college scene (and fellow group rap their label’s THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 19 Features Music becomes highlight of RSA Block Party 2004

PATRICK COYLE remaining crowd by moving outside in the rain Retriever Weekly Staff Writer and continuing to sing – not a problem as they had no equipment to ruin. As the rain drove people from Center Road Second up were the Johnny Cakes, an up- to the relative safety of Harbor Courtyard, the tempo rock quartet that drew the largest crowd focus of the 2004 Block Party became the music, of the evening. Females are few in the rock provided free of charge by several student bands industry; therefore it is refreshing to find a band from UMBC. led by not one, but two female musicians - Liz The first group on was the mama’s boys, a Sherman and Christine Ramsey, both of whom large a cappella ensemble. For those unfamiliar sing and play guitar. The rest of the quartet is with the term a cappella, it means “without Ray Remesch on bass and Ben Potok on drums. instrument.” And while it is difficult to establish Their sound is similar to pop-punk bands we a truly unique sound as an a cappella group, the hear on the radio except good. The Johnny mama’s boys provide solid layered harmony with Cakes employ more complicated rhythm and strong alternating lead vocals. Their song selec- branch off into the occasional ballad, complete tion was a mix of classic and contemporary cov- with acoustic guitar. Their bill was mostly origi- ers, with music from Three Dog Night, Vertical nals such as “Going Crazy,” an fast song about Horizon, and even a rendition of Stacy’s Mom, psychosis, and one cover of pop-punk favorites the cult favorite from one-hit wonders Fountains Blink 182. of Wayne. The crowd seemed to be really enjoying this The mood during their set remained play- particular set, rain or no. The spirited rock ful, with members singing guitar riffs while inspired many to run out into the rain and “playing” instruments. After the rain drove most dance. I can’t say I ran out into the rain with the spectators away, the mama’s boys thanked the partiers, but I was inspired to listen to the band. The Johnny Cakes have no imme- diate upcoming shows, but prom- ised to keep The Retriever posted. Wax & Wane, the third band of the evening, was a last-minute replacement. The quartet intro- duced themselves on a first-name basis to me, with Danny and Ari on guitar, Justin as the rhythm section, and Sine on violin. When asked to describe their style, lead vocalist Danny called it, “orchestrated folk.” Their sound was mellow but rather potent, something not out of place on the “O Brother Where Art Thou?” soundtrack. The highlight of the set came when Sine traded her violin for a guitar and played a solo acoustic song she described only as, “Girl Playing Guitar.” Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] Although their music is rather Slowloader Comes Home: Slowloader, a Baltimore-based quartet, defines their music good, it is not for the faint of heart as intelligent, emotionally charged sonic landscapes. The band is the result of pure col- or manically depressed; even their laboration between Robert Westerman (vocals/guitars), Kevin Cimino (lead guitar), Ron song titles reflect the brooding O'Malley (drums), and Brett Sharbaugh (bass). Their sound is similar to those of A nature of the music such as, “Hell is Perfect Circle, Soundgarden, Cave In, and Radiohead, and the band is already making Waiting,” and “Hell is Here.” a name for itself throughout the region with their brand of explosive musical intimacy. “We have a lot of songs about "The response to the music has been fantastic" says Westerman. "That people are hell,” Danny joked. If so, hell connecting with what we do...it means a lot. We're not blasting 3 minute pop tunes Stephanie Potter [Retriever Staff] doesn’t sound bad. Wax & Wane here. We're reaching out and people are responding. That's a beautiful experience." Finally, an Awesome Local Band: A Throwaway Society performs have one upcoming show Thursday for students. April 29th at The Talking Head. 20 Features April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Horoscopes UMBC’s Clubs: Making Your Life Fun by Nicole Macey New student organization proves that Weekly Staff Disclaimer: So, we hate horoscopes, and we don’t understand why you all yell when we don’t print them. You do realize we make them up disability is not synonymous with inability right? So, just remember, we do this for realize that “disability is not an inability.” ability or not, can interact with each other and you guys... RESHMA DESAI Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Though SISIA is a relatively new organi- have fun. “[I hope to] promote disability zation, it recently celebrated its first event: a awareness in our UMBC community [and] Aries (March 21 - April 20) “Life is a very precious gem and we have kick-off ceremony that included a vocal per- easy accessibility around the campus for stu- to value it...especially in college because we formance by club member Michael Hunt of dents with disabilities; Give the students a “Don’t worry about walking on thin are here for a short time so we want to make the song “Impossible Dreams“, speeches by helping hand by representing the disability ice…instead get out those summer shoes— the most of it,” said Kavita Krishnaswamy, members of the executive board and faculty issues in coordination with UMBC Student it’s almost summer, just go have fun!” referring to her own outlook on life. advisor Fran Cramblitt, and a discussion on the Support Services,” said Jeyan Jebaraj, vice pres- Krishnaswamy, a junior at UMBC and presi- issues that face students with disabilities. The ident of SISIA. Taurus (April 21 - May 21) dent of the newly formed Society for Inspiring ceremony was topped off with the cutting of a “[SISIA] is an organization where every You got all that sunscreen, the sun- Students with Individual Abilities (SISIA), is chocolate, yellow cake. On the cake itself was member plays his or her active part one way glasses, the sun hat, and flip-flops…dude, pursuing a double major in computer science SISIA’s logo: a dove flying through the sky. In or the other to help promote disability aware- it’s gonna rain this weekend! Sorry. and math. “[My schedule] definitely keeps me front of an audience of approximately twenty- ness not only in our UMBC community, but very busy,“ she said, “and I often only get a five students, all of the executive board and also around the nation and even around the few hours of sleep each night.” So what cabinet members helped Krishnaswamy make world. In this very short time, we have Gemini (May 22 - June 21) prompted her to take on the challenge of cre- the first cut. “It is impossible for me to pick up already achieved so much by creating aware- Finals are coming up. Buy $130 worth ating astudent organization? Sheer willpower a knife, but with the help of my friends,” said ness all around the place. A perfect example of Chinese food and plan a mega-study ses- and an unbreakable resolution to make a dif- Krishnaswamy to the crowd, “you will see me would be that a young man from India who sion with your friends and classmates. ference on campus. “I have muscular atrophy, do it. What can students hope to see in the looked at the SISIA website contributed his but I’ve learned to get over my challenges by future? Activities of all kinds. From karaoke part by writing a mail to the United Cancer (June 22 - July 23) focusing on education and keeping a positive contests to movie nights to group outings, Handicapped School in Coimbatore, India, attitude,” said Krishnaswamy. She hopes, Krishnaswamy wants the organization to be a regarding the awareness and positive attitude With the recent SGA elections and the through the organization, to make people place where everyone, whether they have a dis- listed on our site,” added Jebaraj. referendums and such, take some time to come up with some referendums for your own personal life. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) Want to see your club in the paper? You have a secret you are not telling anyone else. It is… it is…. that you are awe- some. Because you’re an English major with Well, now you can! no final exams. Now go kill yourself. Thanks. It’s easy: just send your picture and/or a write up of your event, and become instant campus celebrities! Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) You know you have a serious addiction Pictures must be in jpg/jpeg/tif.tiff format and have captions. The write-ups should be 25 to 125 words, when you consume more than your pet’s due by the Wednesday previous to the desired issue. weight in potato chips in a single sitting. send to [email protected] Try switching to something healthier, like TRW reserves the rights to refuse any material. mayonnaise and pork-rind sandwiches.

Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) Go steal a townschild and store him in your car. That way, you will be able to get free sympathy service from lock- smiths when you look your keys in your car.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Red alert! Battle stations, everyone! Oh wait. You lose. Suffer the consequences of academic defeat.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) The stars remain blank for your sign…I apologize for any inconveniences. Please remain patient while your horoscope downloads... approximated time: 1 week. Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) You’ll realize how deaf you’ve become to your TV when you get home for the summer and your neighbors are stopping by to see what you’re watching.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) For your entertainment, you will be allowed to ask any yes or no question and I’ll consult my magic 8 ball for your answer…my magic 8 ball says, “Answer is unclear, try again later.” Jerkface. Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) I hate to break it to you, but staying out in the sun until you’re bright red and peeling like a molting snake isn’t getting a Heidi Heimsal [Retriever Staff] tan. You look like a tomato. Go jump in a Waddle This Way: The band Distorted Penguins performed during the day at Quadmania, providing a pleasant background to the fes- sandwich and make someone’s day. tivities, which included bull-riding, a dunk tank and rock-climbing. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Features 21 The Big Creak makes a musical splash with Just Left Home readyornot Brett Ashley McKenzie

STEVE WILEY guy in the room who lacks the guts to When I arrived at UMBC four years ago, doing well in Retriever Weekly Staff Writer approach anyone, the singer wondering if I expected to find myself in overcrowded class- math for the first time in my life is they all think “I smoke crack… Sometimes I es with professors who would never know me definitely in part thanks to your Listening to The Big Creak’s third full- wonder, too.” Two tracks later, the lyrics by name, just as another face in the sea of stu- constant help and patience with length album Just Left Town makes you want include the tongue twister of a word/phrase dents staring blankly towards the front of the me. to go out and hear the band live; it’s not that “Holy bejeezusisthisthetimeyouleaveitallo- room. Professor Loviglio, AMST: Despite the there’s something missing from their music nandjustgotobed?”, which is among the I had spent 12 years in a private school fact that I added an AMST major, dropped it on disc, but you just catch a certain vibe that happy surprises of this jazzy, organ-tinged, with classes seldom larger than ten students. to a minor, and then dropped it all together, tells you these guys can put on a show. funkified jam anthem. Not only did every one of my teachers, from you still have always encouraged me and given Fettered with hooks that are as catchy as the Other highlights of the disc include the second grade thru twelfth, know me by name me great advice, despite the fact that I am no common cold and brought to life by an downbeat but shimmery sounds of the opener and face, but they also knew my entire aca- longer your advisee. It meant a lot that you unmistakably earnest energy, the 11-track “Love on Hold,” which includes the handy gui- demic history and seemingly everything else were always there with an open office door CD, released this past January on Opulent tar work by lead singer and songwriter Jim Koch about me. when I needed someone to talk to. Good luck Records, is filled with the type of music you and the impressive drumming of Aaron Bright. After four years of dropping and picking with all of your future fishing endeavors, and listen to, no matter what your mood. Track two, the title cut, a lovely ballad that up and changing my majors, I realize that my don’t forget to give DDR a try. The overall mood of the record is fairly includes a gloomy outlook on a breakup that you pre-judgment of UMBC faculty couldn’t have Professor Shivnan, Writing: Thank you bright. Its flavor is influenced by a mix of rock might not expect. “Wasn’t meant to be” is the been further off. From my first semester here so much for taking a hobby of mine and show- and roots and will sound familiar, though not refrain, and the instrumentation leaves an until now, I have encountered (for the most ing me how to transform it into a lifestyle. closely related, to the recent works of John impression that mirrors the poignant words part) professors who have spent hours patient- Thank you for being honest, critical and con- Mayer, Jason Mraz, and others in the crop of Koch emotes. Shades of Wilco and the band’s ly listening to me, giving me expert advice, structive, and for demanding more out of me young singer-songwriters who never try to longtime touring partner Dada show up on and not hating me when I didn’t take it. instead of settling for what I thought was my overextend themselves and stick to what “Love Your Life Tonight.” But maybe the I recently made the decision to put off best. I’m usually way too stubborn to let any- works. The songs may come across as formu- strongest track to be found here is the second to grad school, despite arguments from several of one else mold my writing. “All of us do not laic, but as with those other artists, The Big last, “Corporate Superstar,” a measured piece, my most trusted mentors at this school. There have equal talent, but all of us should have an Creak is a genuinely talented group of people the only one not written by Koch; Aaron Bright’s are plenty of reasons for me to go, and plenty equal opportunity to develop our talents” who seem to love what they do, and as with song works once it hits the bridge, and climbs to for me to not go. But now that I have made (JFK). Thanks for giving me that opportunity. those other artists I’ve mentioned, they’ve an entertaining peak that gives the listener a the decision to work in the Baltimore- Professor Laurie, History: For helping me attracted a large grassroots following, largely rush, not from the crunch of heavily amplified Washington area instead of living amongst the find a career path that allows me to combine through the Internet. Fans across the country distortion, but from the flow and spacing of the children of the corn at Kansas State, I feel as two things I love: writing and war… well, fill message boards with posts about TBC, tune. though a weight has been lifted off my shoul- studying war, anyway. Thank you for the grad trading band-encouraged bootleg MP3s, and The four-member band is based in ders. I am doing better in my classes because I school recommendations and for willing to anticipating their next chance to scope out the Columbus, Ohio, and has had a very success- know in two weeks I will be done. help a really confused person try to make sense band live onstage, where they’re really in their ful run both locally and while on tour. Their I’m betting its safe to say that many stu- of her future. Also, for teaching me to not be element. “college rock” label never holds them back on dents won’t read beyond this point in this col- afraid of grad schools in remote places like Just Left Town veers to and fro between this CD, and hopefully in the future their umn because I am about to thank a lot of peo- Kansas and Iowa. middle of the road rock, bluesy riffage, and accessibility won’t stand in the way of their ple and to some it may seem like I’m just kiss- Professor Irmscher, English: I want to cool jams that merge a variety of genres. The talent and ability to craft some worthwhile ing ass. But the majority of my columns have thank you for encouraging me to apply for the best of these are high-energy, up-tempo num- confections of pure, smart, pop-rock ingenu- been dedicated to what I have learned from English Honors program, which has made my bers like “Your Way Out” and the flashy “Go ity. my friends and so little of this paper is aimed last year of school a living hell at times, but I Ahead and Go,” which towards the staff and faculty at UMBC. And, don’t regret it at all. You were an excellent advi- sounds a little like the band well, I’m not winning any Oscars anytime sor; it isn’t easy to graduate UMBC in four Guster, another member of soon, so this is my opportunity for a thank years, but thanks to you, I am. Thank you for the genre, mixed with a lit- you speech. Those of you who are students all the tough times you talked me through. tle jam-happy enthusiasm. and want to keep reading, I highly suggest tak- Professor Corbett, English: You have The band has also ing classes taught by the professors I am about stood behind me and the newspaper during drawn comparisons to the to thank for helping me become who I am times when it seemed that everyone else was now-disbanded Ben Folds now. against us. Thank you for your confidence in Five, and I guess you can Without further ado, in no particular me and the things you’ve done to help ensure hear it a bit on a couple of order. a great future for me. You treat us like adults the tracks on this album, Professor Tighe, MATH: I was so afraid and not idiot kids prone to constantly screw- not just on the occasional to take a math class that I put it off until my ing up. I’ll never forget some of your best piano driven melodies and last semester here. I did terribly in math advice: “Someone who has never played back beats, but in the lacon- throughout high school and just assumed I lacrosse before can’t suddenly decide to ic style of humor and wit would be equally as incompetent here. Thank become the captain of the team.” found in many of the songs’ you for not treating me, like my high school Brett McKenzie is the Editor-in-Chief of lyrics. For example, “The teachers did, like some kid too dumb to work The Retriever, well, for two more weeks. She can First Move” is a tribute to with numbers. The fact that I am actually be reached by e-mail at [email protected]. the insecurity felt by the shy

Courtesy of umbc.edu/arts Never Settle: Women strive to prove themselves more civilized below deck than the men above on a six-month sea journey in UMBC’s theatrical production of Female Transport. 22 Features April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER Women Earn $3,000-$5,000 Be an Egg Donor For an Infertile Couple

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Anita Field [Retriever Staff] Kanye explains it all: Unlike a lot of rappers, Kanye told it all to the audience: bits and pieces of his life story, and why he writes certain song lyrics. Kanye: a story-telling rapper

from KANYE, page 18 absolutely destroyed a set of hip-hop clas- that had the audience rolling as a crowd sics and got herself some well deserved member handled a certain fake Jamaican. applause. Only at a Kanye West concert Suffice to say I was very happy to see could a classically trained violinist get a the Young Gunz take the show over from standing ovation. the radio personalities. They rolled through Kanye seemed to be pacing the entire a set, staying relatively entertaining. Again show, carefully choosing his playlist to though, I came to see Kanye so they really invoke the reaction he wanted, keeping the couldn’t hold my attention. mood quick paced and humorous, but The Gunz were followed up by some slowing it down for a more thoughtful more radio talk (ughhh) and someone who encore that included “Jesus Walks” and the I’m guessing is a new member of Kanye’s final song of both the night and his album record label who was sent on the suicide “Last call.” Sound like something off mission to come out before him. VH1’s old show story tellers Kanye tried to Just when all hope was seemingly lost, break down his life story and why he does the familiar strains of Jay-Z’s battle track what he does as he flowed through, taking “Takeover” began to blast through the breaks to explain specific lyrics (like how Fieldhouse, and Kanye arrived accompanied the gap, banana republic, and old navy are by a live band and his customary cocky all the same company). stance. Kanye then proceeded to wipe all All in all Kanye put on the best hip- doubts from my head on whether or not he hop show I’ve seen in a long time, actually could perform his album live absolutely rip- putting on a stellar performance instead of ping through a set that contained not only relying on hype men or other famous guest his own hits but some of the other hits he rappers to pick up the mood. I think the had produced for other as well. best way to sum up the show is to quote the Kanye managed to not only keep the man himself, “If this is your first time hear- songs hot but even managed to keep his ing this you are about to experience some- intermissions entertaining with members thing so cold…” of his band doing interludes, giving us the I promise, I’m not self conscious, so you biggest surprise of the night when Miri can send all the hate mail you want to Ben-Ari (hip-hop’s go to violinist) [email protected]

Movie Tickets...$0 New CD’s...$0 Concert Tickets...$0 Rockstar Interviews...$0 Backstage Passes...$0 Writing for TRW Features... Priceless

Write to [email protected] to get more information on living the life of a UMBC Features Reporter THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Features 23 l a s m i e H i d i e H & , r e t t o P e i n a h p e t S , d l e i F a t i n A y b s o t o h p 24 Features April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER AROUND Beginning [Apr. 28] Incidentally... Events Happening Throughout the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus Beginning [Apr. 27] Wednesday, April 28 Bringing the Def Noise La poesía eres tú Those urban poets of hip-hop poetry and Tonight there will be bilingual readings philosophy are rollin’ down to D.C., as by renowned Mexican poets José Emilio Russell Simmons’ Def Poetry Jam crashes Pacheco, Pura López Colomé, and Tedi the Warner Theatre tonight and plays López Mills, all brought to you by The through the weekend. I mean, there are a Tuesday, April 27 the people you’ll have helped. So take National Endowment for the Arts couple of shows tonight and the next few Dancing with Doves some time out of your day between and the Instituto de México. The NEA’s days— it’s not some non-stop poetry Join the Dove sisters of Alpha Nu 10am-4pm to stop by the SIC, chairman and poet Dana Gioia will add marathon, though that would be an Omega Sorority, Inc. for a night of Commons Rm. 2b20, and donate some perspective to the event in his interesting event… TM* hip-hop dance lessons at 6pm in the some blood to the American Red remarks to bookend the event. It will all FA 317 Dance Studio. Cross. You can register in advance by take place at 6:30 p.m., at Instituto de Saturday, May 1 calling the SIC at x52867. México, 2829 16th Street NW, Esoteria Revealed Tuesday, April 27 Washington, D.C. Best of all, public William Patterson (see above) seems like Singled Out Friday, April 30 admission is absolutely gratis, compli- a remarkable guy. Now the man who If you want to meet new people or Movies and Makeover mentary… free, even! studied, among other things, the survival just win some sweet prizes, don’t The Dove Sisters of Alpha Nu Omega of various literary giants in occupied Paris miss this event. Similar to MTV’s Sorority, Inc. welcome you to enjoy Thursday, April 29 during WWII, Advaita Vedanta, and the dating game show, “Singled Out” is free makeovers and a movie from Get Spiritualized influence of occultism on the Nazis, as your chance to participate in SEB’s 8pm-11pm in the Susquehanna Hall For those of you who like to explore the part of just one of four public seminars version of a dating game, win prizes Community Room. bounds of human thought and spirituali- he gives annually, will speak at College of worth hundreds of dollars, and ty, here’s an event which might blow your Notre Dame’s Knott Science Center maybe even meet that special some- Friday, April 30 socks off. William Patrick Patterson (and today from 10:00 a.m to 5 p.m. Bringing one. To sign up, stop by the SEB PISTAHAN 2004 also given the name “Sunyata” by Hindu you secrets of spirituality and self-trans- office in the Commons, Rm. 2B10. Come out for a night of fashion sage Ramana Maharshi) will be present- formation from Tibet’s Surmang Time’s running out so pick up your shows, ethnic Filipino food, and act- ing his new vision: “Conscious Survival in Monasteries, Patterson will lead the application today! The actual show ing routines from 7pm-11pm in the a Radically Changing World Time,” at group in meditation. No prior experience will be held in the Commons UC Ballroom. the Church of the Redeemer, 5603 N. is necessary; attendees should wear loose Cabaret from 8pm-10pm. Got ques- Charles Street in Baltimore. A leader of clothing and bring a mat and a sitting pil- tions? Call the SEB office at x53618. Saturday, May 1 the Fourth Way groups and a National low. Funkfest Book Award nominee, Patterson will Thursday, April 29 Take a break from studying and join include in the evening some guided med- Sunday, May 2 Save a Life! the BSU, NPHC, and others for a itation and “an introduction to body Geometry Rock Did you know that if you began fun-filled day of food and games on impressions.” Somebody want to fill me Maynard James Keenan and his merry donating blood at age 17 and donat- the Commons Terrace from 1pm- in? For more info: (410) 337-2678 or band of hard rock travelers A Perfect ed every 56 days until you reached 5:15pm. www.gurdjieff-legacy.org Circle will enlighten you with their bril- the age of 83, you would have donat- liance 8 o’clock tonight at the Patriot ed over 50 gallons of blood? Pretty Got an upcoming event? Email resh- Friday, April 30 Center in Fairfax, VA. Just be there. TM* impressive when you think about all [email protected] Rock Royalty Renowned rockers King’s X is hitting Jaxx *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481-SEAT; Nightclub in Springfield, VA with a www.ticketmaster.com vengeance tonight, starting at 7:15. You won’t want to miss the ruckus when these Got an upcoming area event? Email swi- proven performers come out to play. TM* [email protected] (min. 2 weeks notice). ::: sttt:::: llislilsiists:t:::: etnnnanannalaailaist tor gjojouuurururrrr antinneerr ejojojdoou wt yourr vinonnleverr j Let ou yoiunr innnneeerr? :: t u ai npn icants ou o pr i g appl et t yncee! u creptinin hha c ff L c o a ta t S : uur w ial : o o itor y yn u Ed n’s is ng o r ti iw r di o e E n t iev t o Copy etr u Staff e R sing e u rti h y e LT Adv ff : ss Sta : o o sine t Bu ters t y ff Wri Le ou t Sta : t. : nteres t u ur i ith yo e .edu w o mbc L @trw.u heif : t itorinc : il ed ema e Please ::L THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Features 25

Children of Alcoholics Age 18-30 Johns Hopkins Research includes: Health Assessment Alcohol Administration Safe Painless Brain Scan

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:: write for features ext. 5-1260 N.E.R.D. rocks Quadmania

from NERD, page 18 Shay joined Pharrell. Mr. Williams was the production or the wacky subject mat- draped in about the coolest military jacket ter, I can’t help but nodding my head to I’ve ever seen complete with medals (I’m the Clipse’s irreverent style. I also found assuming they were for Rocking really the fact that their DJ kept spinning gun- hard!). shots and C-Murder instrumentals hilari- Unfortunately Pharrell had selected a ous. Unfortunately nobody would join my relatively bizarre play list that started off “Free C-Murder” chant. with a rather forgettable song and seemed Even their guests Ab-Liva and Famlay to focus more on the old album than the managed shine reasonably well and stayed new one. Aside from song choice thought, part of the set, not trying to get in before N.E.R.D. managed to keep those Startrack or after. It was a good effort, but in the end hands up in the air for most of the night, was hurt by the fact that Pharrell wasn’t and even making the RAC glow in the dark there to perform his parts on the majority with the neon greens and blues of hun- of their tracks. dreds of cell phones (the poor man’s After a brief interlude, the N.E.R.D.’s lighter). live band Spymob took the stage to play For any slowness that the concert two songs, but much like anyone coming began with, it ended with nothing but on before the headliner, they were doomed energy as the back-to-back “Rock Star” to be booed. Luckily they weren’t all that and “Lap Dance” filled the arena with bad and particularly the second song jumping fans running into each other. struck me. Also, Good Charlotte did not show up But we all know what we came to see to perform the song they recorded with that night, and that was the man who per- N.E.R.D., and for that, I thank god. sonifies the words rock star, Pharrell John Ellis is the poser that it’s almost Williams. Chad as usual was not on stage, over for, so don’t bother to send comments to but his childhood friend and hype man [email protected] 26 Features April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

Courtesy of WMBC Nerds: Katie Stansbory and Liz Erdman spin the latest in local music. Presenting Nerdcore Radio

GARY HUDIBURGH she said. As a result of this their show has been WMBC Staffer quite popular. If you were among the many who have lis- WMBC offers a wide variety of local music tened to their show throughout the year, you have for your ears to feast on in addition to all of the gotten the chance to hear them interview other great things they do. One of the shows that Karmella’s Game, Stubhy from Lucky Boys you’ll get a chance to hear is NERDCORE Radio Confusion, Isle of View, Mike Toohey from Plan with Katie Stansbery and Liz Erdman. The title of Nine USA, Joe and Drew from Velvet and Matt their show is actually an acronym: Nothing Ever from Jack Flash. Several of the bands that the Really Does Come Out Right. Listening to their NERDCORE ladies have interviewed have gone show you might be inclined to disagree as the on to play at the Friday Freebies and Patapsco’s quality and variety of local music they play is Coffee House to much acclaim. impressive and it comes across perfectly. As with all other WMBC Radio shows you NERDCORE Radio is the result of a friend- can listen to NERDCORE Radio on AM 560 if Anita Field [Retriever Staff] ship that started in 9th grade and developed you are within very close proximity to the trans- Yee haw!: One of the many events at Quadmania this past Saturday included bull-rid- through both Liz and Katie’s involvement in local mitter on the top of the BIO building or tune your ing. Many students took part in the activity; some even rode complete with cowboy music. Katie has worked to book local bands for dorm room TV to channel 2. You can also listen hats, waving them around as they flopped back and forth on the mechanical bull. online by going to http://wmbc.umbc.edu and Grange Hall in her hometown of Mt. Airy. Above, Mike from the Real World enjoys a ride on the wild side. “I figured I should do a local music show to clicking on “hi-fi.” You can hear Katie and Liz on still promote some up and coming local bands,” Mondays and Wednesdays at 7 p.m. E L U D E H C S THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 27 Sports Hartford sweeps Lady Retrievers This Week in Sports

AMIT CHAND Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

The UMBC softball team’s already disappointing season got even worse as they were swept in a Baseball three game weekend series by Hartford. With the Lady Retrievers April 27 vs. George Washington coming off a two game winning streak, the sweep reduces the The second game under the lights will be played chances of them getting a higher against George Washington on Tuesday. The seed than seventh in the conference tournament. Saturday’s game saw Retrievers won the first night game in the ninth UMBC lose 4-2. Sunday’s action inning against Navy. was a doubleheader that UMBC dropped 4-3 and 8-3. The Hawks Softball never trailed for more than an inning in any of the games, even April 28 vs. Binghamton after being out hit by three. Runners left on base cost The softball team will be home to play UMBC the first game of the series as they stranded 13 runners. The Binghamton at 2 p.m. on Wednesday. Hawks went ahead in the first inning, 1-0, with the help of an Track error by junior Kristie Pickeral. Hartford was again aided by a May 1-2 at America East Championships Retriever error in the second en route to taking a two run lead. The track and field teams take on the best from UMBC scored their first run in the the America East this weekend in Boston. UMBC third inning on freshman Heather [Retriever Staff] will have a chance to take a stand in the new Bennett’s RBI single, but squan- Never challenge worse: The softball team is looking for a light at the end of the tun- conference. dered an opportunity for a big nel of a continually disappointing season. Wednesday will be their next chance. inning as they left three runners on base. Hartford’s two run fifth inning with four straight runs following the game of the day only to see Hartford Men’s Lacrosse proved to be too much for UMBC Retrievers one run first inning to go score five runs in the sixth inning. to comeback from. up 4-1. Freshman Kelly Claar Two costly UMBC errors and back- April 27 at Towson UMBC was unable complete a picked up the loss, giving her a to-back Hartford homeruns put the May 1 at Vermont fifth inning rally in Sunday’s first record of 6-11 on the season. Hawks up for good. Hartford’s game after getting to within one run The Retrievers were able to tie Jamie Graves went the distance to of Hartford. The Hawks responded up the score at three in the second pick up the win. UMBC lacrosse travels 30 minutes north to take on Towson at 7:30 on Tuesday night. The team travels to Vermont later in the week in a must Senior Day loss puts Dawgs win contest. Game time is set for 1:00 p.m. in must-win situation Women’s Lacrosse May 1 at New Hampshire DEREK SMITH Retriever Weel;y Staff Writer The women’s lacrosse squad completes the regu- lar season on Saturday at New Hampshire. They As the four team AEC champi- are on a roll after defeating Binghamton on April onship approaches, Men’s Lacrosse 25. (3-2, 5-6) could finish as high as fourth or as low as fifth. With their disappointing 5-6 Senior Day loss on Tennis Saturday, they’ve put themselves in a must-win situation. April 30-May 2 at America East Tournament On Wednesday UMBC improved their non-conference record The men’s and women’s tennis teams travel to by cruising past Loyola 12-7. Connecticut to play in the America East playoffs. Sophomore attackman Brendan The women are on a roll after winning eight of Mundorf scored a career high seven their last nine matches. goals and added two assists. Mundorf opened the fourth quarter with an unassisted goal at the 3:38 mark, and then finished the 6-0 with another unassisted score to put the game away. [Anita Field] Mundorf’s seven-goal feat was the Grace under pressure: Joe Cahill, James Hyland and Brad Preisinger played hard most for a Retriever since Chris on Senior Day. Stony Brook’s late rally puts UMBC in a must win situation. Turner scored seven against Towson on April 25, 1999. Senior face off The Retrievers lost a close one to play. The Retrievers had a chance with shape. It all still depends on UMBC’s would finish as the No. 2 seed (with specialist Pat Muston also had an out- Stony Brook on Senior Day. UMBC 18 seconds left but couldn’t convert. upcoming match up against Vermont an Albany loss), the No. 3 seed (with standing game, winning 18 of 23 had a 5-3 lead in the fourth quarter. “It was disappointing no matter (5-8, 2-3). The winner of that game an Albany win and a Stony Brook loss draws and garnered nine ground balls After a timeout though, Stony Brook what day it was, but I’m sure the sen- will earn the final championship to Quinnipiac on May 1) or the No. to give the Retrievers dominance in attackman Adam Marksberry beat iors would have liked to go out on a berth. The Retrievers and 4 seed (with an Albany win and a time of possession. Muston is ranked Retriever goalie Kevin Cepelak to win. We got a two goal lead but Catamounts play at 1 p.m. Saturday, Stony Brook win over Quinnipiac). sixth in the nation in face-off percent- knot the score at 5-5 with 1:06 weren’t able to hold on to it,” said May 1 at Centennial Field in If the Retrievers finish second, age. UMBC hasn’t beaten Loyola remaining. Stony Brook midfielder coach Don Zimmerman. Burlington, Vermont. they would host the semifinal on since 1987. Jamie Lacey scored with 22 seconds to The playoff picture is taking A UMBC win and the Retrievers Wednesday, May 5. 28 Sports April 27, 2004 THE RETRIEVER

Zimmerman says goodbye WHO’S HOT: Junior Kyle Wildasin for hitting safely in 20 of his last 21 games. BEST to six talented seniors Wildasin has been a force in the middle of the lineup PLAYS ANDREW CHANEY a player or a coach could appreciate. OF THE Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff When Zimmerman needed a player to step up, Berry was usually there with an WHO’S NOT: Six seniors will move on to tackle answer. True Grit is not hot this week. WEEK The furry little guy didn’t give other future endeavors when the final door Gallagher had an answer on Senior Junior Kyle Wildasin hit a away any pizzas at the men’s 10 is shut on the men’s lacrosse 2004 cam- Day with a goal just six minutes into the lacrosse game on Saturday.. homerun to extend his sec- paign. game. Gallagher also stepped up earlier in ond hit streak to ten games. The six seniors include face-off spe- the season when Zimmerman needed cialist Pat Muston, Tom Tittsworth, Jeff him the most. Sophomore Kelly Fiorani Clark, Franklin Berry, Matt Gallagher, and Preisinger completes the sensational WEEKLY POLL: scored three goals against Brad Preisinger. These six athletes will be six with a strong stick on defense. This Which group or artist would you Mt. St. Mary’s in women’s remembered for their accomplishment on Ellicott City native started all 13 games want to see at Quadmania 2005? his junior year at close defense and has The Offspring, O.A.R, Ludacris, lacrosse. and off the playing field during their Dave Mathews Band, Tony C and careers at UMBC. responded with a productive 2004 sea- the Truth, or Kenny Chesney A big gap will be left open in the son. Adam Grossman placed UMBC lineup when Muston graduates. All six athletes will be remembered fourth in his heat at the Penn The Michigan native has dominated the for their play at UMBC Stadium, but LAST WEEK: Relays. face-off circle this season. most importantly for their contributions Who deserves an MVP award at Tittsworth is another talented athlete to the Catonsville community. Tittsworth this point in the spring season? Sophomore Brendan Mundorf that will be missed when the season is is the leader of the pack with a nomina- Kelly Fiorani-30% scored in the fourth quarter to complete. Tittsworth competed in all 12 tion as a Coca-Cola All American. Kyle Wildasin-20% give the men’s lacrosse team games during his sophomore campaign Zimmerman has numerous options Adam Grossman-15% a 4-3 lead against Stony and scored his first collegiate goal on a fast this week as he tries to incorporate the six Josef Novotny-10% Brook. break against Georgetown. seniors into the star-studded lineup. His Tia Kaasalainen-10% Kevin Cepelak-5% Berry, Gallagher and Preisinger will choices will be much clearer on game day The softball team received a with Muston and Gallagher waiting on Kelly Fahey-5% be missed in and around the locker room. boost from sophomore hurler Berry provided a quiet leadership that only the sideline. Cara Wettlaufer-5% Amy Sadowl. She picked up another win in five innings of work. Men’s Lacrosse: Standings as of 4/25/04 Men’s Lacrosse Wrap Up: conference overall Sophomore James Hyland wins losses draws wins losses draws scored a goal late in the UMBC recently lost to Stony Brook by a score of 6- game against Stony Brook. 7 5 0 Binghamton 5 0 0 5 on Senior Day. The Retrievers let a lead slip away 8 4 0 Albany 4 1 0 in the fourth quarter. Binghamton holds the top Senior Jen Dragoni scored Stony Brook 3 1 0 7 5 0 spot in the America East. Albany is second fol- two goals and added an UMBC 3 2 0 5 6 0 lowed by Stony Brook and UMBC. The playoffs are assist against Mt. St. Mary’s. Vermont 2 3 0 5 8 0 around the corner and UMBC must beat Vermont On the baseball diamond sen- Quinnipiac 1 4 0 2 10 0 to move on Hartford 0 6 0 0 13 0 ior Dan Carpenter ripped an RBI triple against Hartford. Women’s Lacrosse: Standings as of 4/25/04 Women’s Lacrosse Wrap Up: Carpenter went 4-for-6 on Sunday. conference overall wins losses draws wins losses draws Senior Kevin Brooks scored two runs and had two RBI UMBC will be one of four teams in the America New Hampshire 4 0 11 4 0 against Hartford. 0 East Tournament this year. After a sub par start UMBC 5 8 0 4 1 0 to the season, the Lady Retrievers have turned 6 7 0 Kristie Pickeral recorded an Boston 3 1 0 things around and now sit in the second slot. RBI single against Mt. St. Albany 2 2 0 5 8 0 New Hampshire is first in the conference with a Mary’s. UMBC won the sec- Stony Brook 1 3 0 5 7 0 4-0 record. The Boston team finds itself in third ond game 1-0. Binghamton 1 3 0 4 6 0 place behind UMBC. Vermont 0 5 0 10 9 0 Athleteof theWeek: Jen Dragoni by Jessica Prosen

Jen Dragoni, #20, is finishing up her American University at the end of March. The over the past 4 years,” says Dragoni. “Now and senior year with a bang as the UMBC final score was 13-12. Dragoni scored three goals even in the past couple of year’s teams respect us women’s lacrosse team has won their last and helped in one assist to lead the team to vic- and don’t take playing us for granted. We are able two home games of the season. Dragoni tory. to play more competitive teams and improve the was the high point scorer for the team last “I love the sport and [have] been playing quality of our schedule.” Sunday, with four goals and two assists to since I was in 7th grade and I still have so much With three away games left in the season, help the team crush conference opponent fun out there every day,” says Dragoni, who is before the America East Tournament, the Lady University of Vermont with a final score of one of three team captains. “As for my team, I Dawgs current record is 4-8. 15-7. The Retrievers scored within the first really can’t say enough about them, I mean I have “We have had our bumps along the way but two minutes of the game and were in con- 27 best friends who I can count on day in and we have never given up,” comments Kasper on trol by the end of half (7-3.) During the day out…I am proud to be on the same team and the team’s success this season. “There have been second period Dragoni lead the team with share the same experiences with them.” so many times we could have thrown in the towel three goals and an assist before scoring her Dragoni also had a stand-out junior year but we never did. I think playing the talented fourth goal in the last 10 minutes of the and was awarded the “2003 Northeast teams that we did really helped us to step up.” game. Conference Player of the Year” in recognition of The team hopes to end the season on a good “[Dragoni] is all over the field making her performance. Last season she led the team in note by defeating Mount St. Mary’s, things happen,” says sophomore, Jennifer goals, assists, and points after scoring in eight of Binghamton, and University of New Hampshire Kasper. “Off the field is what most people 19 games and having 14 multi-goal performanc- in the next two weeks. don’t see and that’s where she really shines. es. During her second season at UMBC she was “We just have to continue to play as a team,” She is an awesome leader and captain and also the team’s leading returning scorer and explains Kasper. “We need to capitalize on our leads by example.” achieved “First Team All-Conference” honors strengths and use them to beat our opponent. Dragoni’s speed and excellent stick after scoring 36 goals and 17 assists for a total of The next three games are some of the biggest of skills, as one of UMBC’s best attackers, was 53 overall points. our season so we can’t overlook any of them [we key in the Dawgs narrow win over “The program itself has improved so much need to] go out there with intensity.” THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 Sports 29 Neither rain nor wind can keep lady Retrievers from victory

DOUGLAS MYERS Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

A trickle became a flood for women’s lacrosse as they soundly trounced the Binghamton Bearcats 18-6 on a windy, rain swept afternoon in Vestal, New York. The victory sweeps the Retrievers (5-9, 4-1 AE) into the America East conference tourna- ment, and with one game left on the schedule, gives them the opportunity to snag the number one seed. Freshman Kelly Fahey, sophomores Kate Worthington and Jocena Venditti all scored three goals in the victory. Fahey got things rolling with a goal within the opening minute, after receiving a pass from sophomore Kelly Fiorani. Worthington added the next goal off an assist from senior Jen Dragoni. The Retrievers then went on a four goal scor- ing run midway through the first half, as Fahey, Venditti, Worthington, and Lauren Hess all notched one each past Bearcat goalkeeper Christa Quon. UMBC added five more goals before the end of the first half, holding a decisive 11-2 lead midway through the contest. “I couldn’t have done it without the support of the rest of the team,” Venditti said. “We played very unselfishly today.” UMBC faces off against New Hampshire this Saturday, in a game that will decide who will host the America East Conference Tournament. A UNH victory would clinch the No. 1 seed for them, while a Retriever victory would open it up [Anita Field] for New Hampshire, UMBC, or Boston University Weathering the storm: The Lady Retrievers braved wind and rain to continue the winning streak started at UMBC. The team trounced the (UNH and BU have two games remaining in the Bearcats 18-6, making for awesome momentum going into a decisive game against New Hampshire on Saturday. season). Men’s and women’s track and field trek to Penn Relays

DAVID JUN A select group of individuals from the The women’s 4x400m relay team, con- Throughout their season, the team has Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Retrievers track and field units were able to sisting of Janelle Wilson, Kaylima Barkley, suffered unfortunate luck in their races and make the journey up to one of the most pres- Francine Ward and Dellisa Williams, ran a in their health. However, through precise The men’s and women’s track and field tigious events in the sport. 3:53 to place seventh. training and even better focus with a tough teams were well represented by the sprinters “At Penn, there are thousands of people The only Retriever to run an individual mindset, the Retrievers look to prove that on their team and also by talented relay teams just cheering for a good race. It motivates and competitive race, Adam Grossman, ran a they won’t yield under pressure in their new at the Penn Relays in Philadelphia, makes you want to be a competitor, not a 10.69s 100m dash to place 11th. conference. Pennsylvania. runner,” said Felton. The Retriever men to make it to the The Retrievers men’s and women’s track “We all had some bad luck, but were still The best runners from all over the event included Darrius Butler, Felton, and field teams journey north to the home of able to show some promise for conferences nation compete alongside professionals and Grossman, Raymond Hawkins, Khris the America East Conference and look to this weekend though,” stated sophomore even promising high school prospects at the Hutson, Keith Ransom, and Trenton show off their mettle at the conference cham- sprinter Andre Felton. meet. Thompson. pionship meet in the following weekend. THE RETRIEVER April 27, 2004 30 Classifieds

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