A live interview TOUCH STUDLIFE with the Chan- LIFE AFTER TWITTER cellor takes place It’s like Facebook statuses...but all the time! Find out how SOMEONE! INTERVIEWS this Thursday at 8:30 p.m. on Twitter changed the world. Health Beat today engages the WUTV and at mythological power of touch—and WRIGHTON studlife.com. BACK PAGE new campus group “Stressbusters.” PAGE 7 STUDLIFE.COM

Sthe independentTUDENT newspaper of Washington University in St. Louis LIFE since eighteen seventy-eight Vol. 130 No. 56 www.studlife.com Wednesday, February 11, 2009 Uncertain times Governor’s plan for college for universities grants upsets private schools Puneet Kollipara ste told Student Life that the primary Roughly 50 percent of funds go to The proposal comes after Nixon’s News Editor reason Nixon wants to make the maxi- private school students. Twenty-nine pledge to maintain the current level of mum award equal for private and public percent of award recipients in the 2007- funding for Missouri public colleges in school students is that the grants are tax- 2008 academic year attended private fi scal 2010 in exchange for tuition freez- echo past crises A group of private colleges and uni- payer funded. institutions. es, in light of the economic crisis. versities in Missouri that includes Wash- “They’re an important part of ensur- The measure, which is part of the But there is some concern that the William Shim versity,” Wrighton said. “And then ington University is distraught over Gov. ing that students in Missouri are able to state’s annual budget, must fi rst pass the changes to Access Missouri would com- Contributing Reporter the next fi scal year of 1974, there Jay Nixon’s proposal to lower the maxi- get a quality education,” Holste said. Missouri General Assembly. The state’s promise the ability for students receiving was a reduction of 10 percent of the mum award private college students can “We’ve got great schools, great universi- budget is expected to be a hot topic dur- the grants to pay for private institutions, spending from the endowment.” receive from the Access Missouri grant ties in Missouri, both public and private, ing the current legislative session as the according to Rose Windmiller, director With the nation dealing with The University also experienced program. and we want to continue to have a well- new administration faces a more than of state relations and local government an economic downturn and an in- endowment losses between 2000 The new governor’s proposal would trained workforce. Because this is tax- $250 million budget shortfall this year. affairs at Washington University. creasing unemployment rate, uni- and 2002. Despite its losses, the change the maximum Access Missouri payer money, the governor believes we Leaders of some public universities Windmiller told Student Life that Ac- versities and colleges are trying University did not have to reduce award for any four-year college student should have equal distribution on those are praising the proposal. Gary Forsee, cess Missouri, which was devised with to take prudent steps in investing the spending from the endowment. in Missouri to $2,850 per year starting in grants.” president of the University of Missouri input from experts in Missouri’s private their funds after drastic reductions The University based this spend- fi scal 2010. Students at four-year private The total monetary amount of grants System, released a statement on Jan. 28 and public education sectors, is doing its in their endowments. ing on how the endowment fared institutions can currently receive up to would stay at its current level of $95.8 supporting the governor’s plan. job. She said the University does not sup- “What we are trying to do, in during the previous fi ve years. $4,600 in Access Missouri grants each million under the new plan, with $2.5 “Students who attend private institu- port Nixon’s proposal. this era, is to take prudent steps “This July 1, we will have a year, while students at four-year public million in additional funding to offset tions are currently eligible for more than “Our argument for graduated awards to make sure that we can thrive as new spending amount, which may institutions can receive up to $2,150. infl ation, Holste said. twice the funding of those who choose is that students at public institutions are we look to the future,” Chancellor be down about 2 percent,” said Access Missouri grants are need- According to Missouri Department to attend public institutions,” Forsee already receiving the benefi t of substan- Wrighton, when asked to project based awards for full-time students from of Higher Education (MDHE) spokes- said. “The governor is on the right track tial state subsidy to public institutions, next year’s endowment spending. Missouri attending a post-secondary in- person Kathy Love, 42,244 students to make this a fair and balanced fi nancial which helps them with a lower tuition “But the next July 1 of 2010 might stitution in the state. have received Access Missouri grants aid program that will improve access to see a steeper decline if the value of Nixon’s press secretary Scott Hol- this academic year. higher education for all students.” See GRANTS, page 2 the endowment does not improve.” Forty percent of the Univer- sity’s endowment is invested in RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY public equities or publicly-traded stocks. The endowment’s value can be increased by two means: by receiv- ing new gifts and by making in- vestment decisions that will yield growth in value. The Washington University Investment Manage- ment Company, under the direction of Chief Investment Offi cer Kim- SAM GUZIK | STUDENT LIFE Chancellor Mark Wrighton says berly Walker and a separate com- mittee of the Board of Trustees, the endowment spending amount decides the target location, strategy will decrease on July 1 and may and allocation of the investment. continue to decrease for the 2010 Despite the current economic school year. instability, Wrighton expressed confi dence that Walker and her Mark Wrighton said. team have solid plans for the Uni- Because audited reports are re- versity’s endowment. leased annually, Washington Uni- “We are always looking for new versity’s endowment fi gures are opportunities,” Wrighton said. “In not available during the course of an environment like we are expe- the fi scal year. However, Wrigh- riencing today, I do not think we ton estimated that as of the end have much forward visibility in of December, the University’s en- terms of what will be happening dowment was down by about 23 again of the traded companies. But percent compared to the previous I believe the diversity that we have fi scal year. in our investments is one strategy Many universities are reporting that should serve us well.” large losses in their endowments— Compared to previous invest- losses that seem to echo the 1970s, ment strategies, which mainly con- when the University reported simi- centrated on stocks and bonds, the lar fi nancial problems. University now invests in many INDU CHANDRASEKHAR | STUDENT LIFE “Back in the fi scal year of 1973, additional sectors, including real Jeff Todisman, a Washington University Facilities staff member, searches for a clogged drain in the Danforth University Center underground garage. The there was no increase in the endow- water accumulation began shortly after midnight on Wednesday morning, forming in large puddles on the garage’s fi rst fl oor and fl ooding the garage’s entry ment payout [for] Washington Uni- See LOSSES, page 2 way. Todisman attributes the drainage problems to mulch from nearby fl ower beds that washed away in the rainstorm. Mr. Wash. U. to sell Bear’s Den, Center Court photos in auction

Sophie Adelman Faces, a local initiative that works with Shortly afterward, a Facebook involved. There’s not only the benefi t Assignment Editor inner-city St. Louis children to provide group called “I HATE that picture in of giving money to a charity, but also a positive outlet through art. In 2008, Bear’s Den” came into existence. The getting to go out on a date with a friend Mr. Wash. U. raised about $30,000 for group has slightly more than 200 mem- or a crush.” COURTESY OF ALEX GARCINI Students have all seen those pictures the charity. bers. The photos maintain a cult status on on the wall in Bear’s Den and Center Last year, the most money raised The infamous picture was taken as campus, and many are sad to see them Court. Now, they have the opportunity by a candidate was $2,000. Offerman a publicity shot for a University play, go. to own those special pieces of Washing- hopes to top that goal and said that he “Big Love,” in 2003. “If I ever met [the “[The new photos] don’t really cap- ton University history. is leading in fundraising efforts among girls], I would tell them that I admire ture the essence of Wash. U. student An auction to benefi t Mr. Wash. U. the candidates. their work and that each person did a life quite as well as the Thurtene and will be held on Thursday at Ursa’s Fire- Tyler Bertroche, a sophomore who great job of creating the emotions that cheerleadering picture,” Offerman said. side at 7 p.m. to sell the photos depict- is also a candidate for Mr. Wash. U., we tried to replicate,” Bertroche said. “Hopefully for the new Wohl Center, ing campus life, which were replaced has a special relationship with one of The starting bid for the original they will bring back some more fi ne by photographs of food over winter the photos. He saw the infamous “sing- picture will be $50. Offerman said he pieces of art.” break. ing girls” picture in Bear’s Den with his hopes that bids for the piece will top Assistant Vice Chancellor for Oper- Michael Offerman, one of four high school soccer team and remained $300. So why should students buy it? ations and Director of Dining Services freshman candidates competing for the an admirer of it as a student here. “To own a piece of Wash. U. his- Steve Hoffner said that the photos gave title of Mr. Wash. U., came up with the While with two of his friends, soph- tory. To remember their freshman and the dining halls a familiar feeling. idea for the auction. omores David Klein and Bryson Tom- sophomore years on the South 40 for- “This is a different dining establish- “The plans for the new Wohl [Cen- bridge, Bertroche said he remembers ever and have it immortalized in an im- ment than if you went off campus. It ter] aren’t complete, but it is unlikely thinking, “That picture is ridiculous and age of campus life,” Offerman said. customized the space,” Hoffner said. that those photos would be a part of I think we could do them one better.” The auction is being held in con- But Bertroche said he is proud of it. We didn’t have any use for them After taking a spoof clutching junction with Mr. Wash. U.’s annual where the photos are going. so when the requests came in from an electric razor and a hairdryer, the date auction, which aligns with Valen- “I think it’s one of the greatest ideas Mr. Wash. U. we thought it would be friends made a $64 poster-sized copy tine’s Day to match up students with for fundraising a candidate’s ever had,” COURTESY OF DAVID KLEIN a worthwhile project,” Assistant to the and pasted it over the original picture. candidates. Candidates will “sell” for he said. “It’s sad to see the original go Top: A picture for the play “Big Love” that used to hang in Bear’s Den is Director of Operations Paul Schimmele According to Bertroche, one manager anywhere from $15 to $45. because it means so much to our gen- being sold at an auction by Mr. Wash. U. to raise money for City Faces on said of the auction. even said they would put it under glass. Jeanette Wong, a junior who is eration of Bear’s Den eaters. It truly Thursday at Ursa’s Fireside. Bottom: Sophomores Tyler Bertroche, David Each candidate must raise a cer- It was up for seven days before disap- involved with internal fundraising, represents the eating experience that is Klein and Bryson Tombridge spoof the “Big Love” picture. tain amount of money to benefi t City pearing. said, “It’s a fun way to get everyone the Bear’s Den.” ® One Brookings Drive #1039 Newsroom: (314) 935-5995 Editor: [email protected] Please #330 Danforth University Center Advertising: (314) 935-6713 News: [email protected] www.studlife.com St. Louis, MO 63130-4899 Fax: (314) 935-5938 Calendar: [email protected] Recycle 2 STUDENT LIFE | NEWS News Editor / Ben Sales / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 11, 2009 weatherforecast Wednesday 11 Thursday 12

Rain Sunny High 53 High 52 THE FLIPSIDE Low 32 Low 34 Campus International eventcalendar Medical school professor Abdullah Nassief dead at 43 Australiaʼs Victoria state devastated by wildfires

Abdullah M. Nassief, a stroke expert and assistant professor in the Department Wildfires in Australia’s Victoria state have resulted in the destruction of of Neurology at the Washington University School of Medicine, passed away on four major towns and many smaller villages, leaving 4,200 people homeless, WEDNESDAY 11 Tuesday, Feb. 3 due to coronary artery disease at age 43. according to the Country Fire Authority. Nassief was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, where he received his medical So far, 181 people have been confirmed dead from the wildfires, more than degree from the King Saud University College of Medicine. He later interned at the from any Australian natural disaster in recent history. Assembly Series: Lela Lee University of Virginia and completed his neurology training at the University of Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has said that the government will Graham Chapel, 4 to 5:30 p.m. Vermont. completely rebuild the towns. (Kelly Fahy) Actress, cartoonist, short fi lmmaker and Before finally joining the faculty in 2000, Nassief had two years of fellowship Web comic artist, Lela Lee has experience training in cerebrovascular diseases at the University’s medical school. with many artistic pursuits. She will discuss her experiences as a minority and how Nassief had been recognized for his excellence in teaching. In 2000, he received art and entertainment have allowed her the Washington University School of Medicine Distinguished Clinical Teacher of to express herself in her talk, called “My the Year Award and the Sven Eliasson Award for Teaching Excellence from the Culture is Pop Culture.” It is sponsored by Department of Neurology in 2001. the Asian American Association. Nassief is also known for helping the center become one of the leading stroke centers in the nation and for leading a team of doctors and researchers whose work Sexual Responsibility Week: Open policebeat Forum on Judaism & Reproductive would eventually make Barnes-Jewish Hospital a first-rate stroke center. Choice At the time of his death, Nassief was enjoying a game of soccer with medical Danforth University Center, Formal Lounge, 7:30 school students at Heman Park in University City. LARCENY—Feb. 8, 2009, 10:54 p.m. LARCENY—Feb. 9, 2009, 7:42 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Nassief is survived by his wife Sheri Nassief, his two sons, Fahris and Sammy, Location: BEAR’S DEN Location: EARTH & PLANETARY The Hillel Women’s series hosts a and his parents, Mohammed and Sameera Nassief, who live in Pabuk, Saudi Arabia. Summary: Student reported her laptop SCIENCE discussion on how Jewish values relate The date for Nassief’s memorial service will be announced by the medical computer stolen from her unattended Summary: Contractor reports his DeWalt to reproductive choice. Faith Aloud’s bookbag in Bear’s Den. The laptop construction site radio/charger was taken executive director, the Rev. Rebecca Turner, news briefs center. (Kat Zhao) and Rabbi Daniel Plotkin will be on a panel computer was a pink MacBook valued at from the site between 5 p.m. on Feb. 6 and to discuss the issue with interested students. around $1,400. TOC 10:30 to 10:40 p.m. 7 a.m. Feb. 9, 2009. Retail value $139. Spend money on a memory, not a possession, Disposition: Pending. Lock & Chain information session Wohl Center, Friedman Lounge, 10 p.m. Lock & Chain, Washington University’s researchers say sophomore honorary, is hosting an information session for interested freshmen. Researchers at Washington University and the University of Texas at Austin’s Come to learn what it means to be part of McCombs School of Business have pioneered research on the psychological results the Lock & Chain family! of making negative purchases. Led by Leonardo Nicolao and Julie Irwin of the McCombs School of Business quoteoftheday and Joseph K. Goodman of Washington University in St. Louis, research teams have determined that while experiences generally lead to greater happiness, negative experiences lead to more lasting unhappiness than bad material purchases do. Good or bad, experiences affect our happiness for longer periods than material THURSDAY 12 purchases do, researchers concluded. (Kelly Fahy) “That picture is

Ursa’s fi lm showing of “W.” National Ursa’s Cafe, 10 p.m. ridiculous, and I Come for some delicious Ursa’s desserts while watching this remarkable political fi lm. The Tribal ceremony for first lady fi lm chronicles the life and presidency of former President George W. Bush. Love him or hate him, First Lady Michelle Obama has spent her first weeks in the White House taking think we could do this fi lm is sure to incite political dialogue on the tours of government agencies in an effort to applaud government employees and South 40. thank them for their service to the nation. On Monday, she visited the Department of the Interior and was greeted with Native American tribal drums, chants and a purple shawl. The Black Bear Singers them one better.” drum band, a traditional Native American band, played an “Honor Song” for the First Lady. Mrs. Obama was given the purple shawl by the Interior Department’s public Sophomore Tyler Bertroche, on the affairs director, Nedra Darling. Mrs. Obama said that the Interior Department would be crucial for the “girls singing” photo in Bearʼs Den president’s desire to secure energy independence while preserving the environment. She guaranteed that Native Americans would have an ally in the White House. (David Messenger)

GRANTS from page 1 rate than private institutions, because “You just have to try really hard to On Jan. 30, the Independent Colleges private institutions don’t have the benefi t get money to come here. It doesn’t come and Universities of Missouri (ICUM), of of direct state support,” Windmiller said. easily, so you have to either get a grant or which the University and Fontbonne are “The most important thing is funding some sort of scholarship, or you just have members, also issued a statement criticiz- the student and the school that best fi ts to be rich,” Jensen said. ing Nixon’s plan, saying that it “would their need, whether it’s a public four-year According to Windmiller, 158 Wash- amount to a tax increase for some work- institution, a community college or an ington University students received Ac- ing and lower-income families in our independent institution.” cess Missouri grants totaling $547,000 in state.” A position paper released by the Uni- the 2007-2008 academic year. The proposal has not been intro- versity of Missouri System, however, A spokesperson for Fontbonne Uni- duced to committee in the General As- argues that the 50 percent rate at which versity, a private school with more than sembly yet, but discussions about the Access Missouri grants go to private 500 students receiving Access Missouri plan continue in the executive branch. school students is too much higher than awards, criticized the proposal, address- MDHE’s Coordinating Board for Higher the national average of 33 percent. ing the issue in light of Missouri’s budget Education will discuss the Access Mis- The tough economy and the 4.4 per- shortfall. souri changes with the presidents and cent rise in the University’s tuition next “We realize the state government academic offi cers of Missouri schools at academic year mean that the changes, if must address budget shortfalls, but we its meeting tomorrow in Wildwood, Mo. passed, would have “a pretty big effect” should not balance Missouri’s budget at ICUM and a recently formed coali- on the ability of University students re- the expense of students trying to fulfi ll tion of Missouri parents, students and ceiving Access Missouri grants to pay their dream,” said Mark Johnson, Font- educators called Keep Me in College are for their educations, senior Alexandra bonne’s director of communications, in a lobbying state lawmakers to vote down Jensen said. statement Monday afternoon. the changes, Windmiller said. LOSSES from page 1 estate. By diversifying the alloca- “Tuition has increased,” he exciting programs and to be able to tions, the investment company and said. “But, it is the lowest increase operate the University; we know we the chancellor hope the problem of in more than 10 years in terms of need to make sure we have the rev- one sector is mitigated by the prom- percentage. We are trying to retain enue stream.” ises of another. great faculty, to make sure we have WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 11, 2009 News Editor / Ben Sales / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | NEWS 3 STUDENT LIFE One Brookings Drive #1039 #330 Danforth University Center Missouri receives Saint Louis, MO 63130-4899 News: (314) 935-5995 Advertising: (314) 935-6713 Fax: (314) 935-5938 disaster relief e-mail: [email protected] www.studlife.com

David Messenger emergency measures,” the state- Copyright 2009 Staff Reporter ment said. Nixon then requested that Editor in Chief: Sam Guzik Associate Editor: Indu Chandrasekhar Obama and the Federal Emergen- Managing Editors: David Song, Brian cy Management Agency (FEMA) Stitt, Trisha Wolf As Washington University en- waive the normally mandatory re- Senior News Editor: Ben Sales joyed the snow on the South 40 quirement that local and state gov- Senior Forum Editor: Jill Strominger swamp almost two weeks ago, ernments pay for a portion of the Senior Sports Editor: Joshua Goldman Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon issued a emergency costs. Senior Scene Editor: Shayna Makaron request to President Obama for fed- “I am requesting that President Senior Cadenza Editor: Cecilia Razak eral disaster relief for Missouri. Obama and the Federal Emergency Senior Photo Editor: Evan Wiskup The storm dumped more than an Management Agency waive the re- Senior Graphics Editor: Mike Hirshon Online Editor: Scott Bressler inch of ice in rural southern Mis- quirement that state and local public Design Chief: Dennis Sweeney souri and was responsible for the entities pay a portion of these costs. News Editors: Puneet Kollipara, Perry loss of power in more than 100,000 This disastrous storm struck at a Stein, John Scott Missouri homes and businesses. diffi cult economic moment, and I Assignment Editor: Sopie Adelman It is also blamed for the deaths of believe it is critical that Missourians Forum Editors: Tess Croner, Bill Hoff- about a dozen people. have access to all available resourc- man, Aditya Sarvesh, Dennis Sweeney, On Jan. 30, Nixon announced es in getting back up and running,” Tricia Wittig that Obama approved a request for Nixon said. Cadenza Editors: Steve Hardy, a disaster declaration for Missouri Despite Nixon’s request, the Stephanie Spera Scene Editors: Brooke Genkin, Lana in response to the winter storms of White House statement said that Goldsmith, Paula Lauris Jan. 26-28. the federal government would only Sports Editors: Scott Drattell, Alex “I am asking the president to is- cover a portion of the cost burden. Dropkin sue this major disaster declaration “Specifi cally, FEMA is autho- Photo Editors: Matt Lanter, Matt so that communities affected by rized to identify, mobilize and pro- Mitgang, Lily Schorr the recent winter storms, including vide at its discretion, equipment Design Editors: Nicole Dankner, Brit- counties, local governments and and resources necessary to alleviate tany Meyer, Zoë Scharf, rural electric cooperatives that have the impacts of the emergency,” the Copy Chief: Brian Krigsher sustained severe damage, will have statement said. “Emergency protec- Copy Editors: Elyse Kallen, Puneet the resources necessary to return tive measures, limited to direct Fed- Kollipara, Hannah Schwartz, Stepha- nie Spera, Christine Wei rapidly to business as usual,” Nixon eral assistance, will be provided at Designers: Mia Feitel, Evan Freedman, said. 75 percent Federal funding.” Susan Hall, Katrina Jongman-Sereno, Obama granted Missouri an The federal response to date has Laura Kornhauser, Courtney LeGates, emergency disaster declaration that included 298,000 liters of water, Ashley Nault, Joe Rigodanzo, Eric permits the state to receive federal 4,500 blankets, 2,250 cots and 50 Rosenbaum, Katie Sadow, Michael assistance to cover its costs related generators. Yang, Kim Yeh to the storm. The declaration en- Obama’s decision to grant fed- Staff Manager: Willie Mendelson titled affected areas to millions of eral assistance to Missouri comes dollars in federal disaster funds. after his previously declared federal General Manager: Andrew O’Dell Advertising Manager: Sara Judd According to a White House emergencies for Arkansas and Ken- press release from Nancy Ward, the tucky. Copyright 2009 Washington University Student Media, Inc. (WUSMI). Student Life is the fi nan- acting administrator of the Federal Initially, Obama granted disaster cially and editorially independent, student-run Emergency Management Agency relief for all of Missouri. This past newspaper serving the Washington University community. First copy of each publication is free; (FEMA), the president’s action Friday, Nixon requested further as- all additional copies are 50 cents. Subscriptions gave way for the Department of sistance for 22 Missouri counties may be purchased for $99.00 by calling (314) 935-6713. Homeland Security and FEMA to located in southern Missouri. While Obama’s initial decla- Student Life is a publication of WUSMI and does manage and organize all disaster not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the relief efforts to provide relief to the ration included St. Louis County, views of the Washington University administra- tion, faculty or students. All Student Life articles, citizens on Missouri. much of the funding was directed photos and graphics are the property of WUSMI “The president’s action autho- at counties in the south and south- and may not be reproduced or published without the express written consent of the General rizes the Department of Home- eastern parts of Missouri. St. Louis Manager. Pictures and graphics printed in Student land Security, Federal Emergency was affected less by the storm than Life are available for purchase; e-mail editor@ studlife.com for more information. Student Life Management Agency (FEMA), to many other counties in the state. reserves the right to edit all submissions for style, grammar, length and accuracy. The intent of sub- coordinate all disaster relief ef- The University was not greatly missions will not be altered. Student Life reserves forts which have the purpose of impacted by the storm or the disas- the right not to publish all submissions. alleviating the hardship and suf- ter declaration. The cost of the dam- If you’d like to place an ad, please contact the fering caused by the emergency on age to the state caused by the storm Advertising Department at (314) 935-6713. the local population, and to provide is estimated at $193 million. If you wish to report an error or request appropriate assistance for required a clarifi cation, e-mail [email protected].

Have an idea or opinion about Student Life or studlife.com?

FREE LUNCH Time: for participating. 12:00 pm–1:00 pm This is your chance to give feedback about YOUR campus newspaper. We’re looking for Dates: EIGHT people each day to spend an hour Thursday, February 19th talking about Student Life and studlife.com. Give us your ideas, opinions and feedback. How Friday, February 20th can we serve the campus community better? Tuesday, March 17th Thursday, March 19th Email [email protected] Thursday, April 2nd with the date you would like Tuesday, April 7th ?to participate. 4 STUDENT LIFE | FORUM Forum Editor / Jill Strominger / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 11, 2009

FORUMSTAFF EDITORIAL Wash. U. should expand Don’t University College options fetishize me

niversity College, the Even more troublesome to us it is quite rare that this happens. divisions. testament to Washing- is the ban on independent study Many students are not even aware Ultimately, given the Uni- This article ap- ton University’s early courses by full-time undergradu- that this option exists because the versity’s mission of providing history as an evening ates with University College process for doing so is neither its students with a well-rounded proved whole- educationalU institution serving a faculty. There are many niche obvious nor well advertised. Ac- education in both the liberal arts large immigrant population, offers areas of study lacking an aca- cordingly, what could be a great and real world skills, the present heartedly by God some unique opportunities to its demic expert in the College of source of thesis aid to seniors is limitations and underutilization students. Unfortunately, many of Arts & Sciences (ArtSci) where utilized far less than ought to be of the resources of the University its courses are either denied to a true authority can be found in the case. Especially with the num- College must not continue. While full-time undergraduate students, University College. For instance, ber of seniors who have trouble we believe the University should etishize,” according to the or when allowed, rarely receive one wishing to do an indepen- finding secondary readers, the continue to place some restric- American Heritage Diction- the attention or endorsement they dent study on the Balkans will failure to better inform the stu- tions on the number of courses ary, Fourth Edition, means deserve. encounter problems in that the dent body of this option is highly students can take through Uni- “to make a fetish of.” A Many students know they closest specialties of any ArtSci disconcerting. versity College to prevent abuse, F“fetish,” then, is (besides a magical can take courses in University professors in relevant departments As it stands, there are only two we believe the University should object associated with shamanistic College, but relatively few do. are Germany and Eastern Europe. components within the existing significantly expand and promote religious practices and an object or Dennis Sweeney This is perhaps in part because On the other hand, University structure that are sound. First the University College opportuni- body part that arouses remarkable Forum Editor the idea of sitting in class at College has an instructor whose is allowing enrollment gener- ties it currently offers. Allowing sexual desire) “an object of unreason- night—instead of socializing or precise area of expertise is the ally within University College students to enroll in multiple Uni- ably excessive attention or reverence” studying—is alien to most full- Balkans. Under the present rules, courses by full-time day students. versity College courses or com- or “an abnormally obsessive preoc- people misinterpreted that article and time students. But those who can said student would be denied the Second is limiting certain courses plete independent studies through cupation or attachment; a fi xation.” b) that those people felt personally get past the matter of the time opportunity to engage in indepen- to graduate students. The logic it can only expand the breadth of You fetishize this article. insulted by an opinion that, I felt, was face a number of restrictions. dent study with said professor and there is that the average student, student education and allow for I write today to explain your quite personal to me and me alone. So First, a student may not take could thus not properly explore even with substantial upper-level the development of practical skills fetishization of this article and to I am reacting to that feeling. more than one University College their unconventional academic coursework in a given area, may useful in the post-graduation job inveigh against it. Some students’ I will send this article in tomor- course per semester. As many of interests. Needless to say, this be unqualified for masters level hunt. And promoting those limited responses to an article last week that row, after proofreading it maybe these classes are not available is greatly disheartening for such coursework, and the student has offerings presently available to I wrote called “‘-isms’ and ‘ities’ and once, and at about 6 p.m. Tuesday directly from the College of Arts students who find experts capable not been formally admitted to full-time undergraduates can only crayons and coloring books” were night our Forum designer for Tuesday & Sciences, including some lan- of guiding their studies only to pursue such a course of study. help revitalize University Col- the most profound of a number of will copy and paste it into a text box guages taught exclusively through be disallowed by institutional red Naturally though, the former lege by bringing in new students examples I’ve seen in the last few in Adobe InDesign, place my head- University College, this fixed rule tape. is too limited in scope, and the who cannot enjoy these benefits years of a really bizarre, undue at- shot at the top of one of the columns unnecessarily limits educational Though University College latter little different from the because of inadequate information tention that the average human gives and organize other similar articles to exploration and the completion of instructors may serve as thesis restrictions that apply to gradu- available to them. to language laid down permanently fi t on the page in a visually pleasing a liberal arts education. advisers or secondary readers, ate courses in other University and in an organized way in ink: a way. Then I will come in at about 9 fetishization of the printed word. p.m. and make sure the layout fi ts our I notice this also from the design vision, because that’s my job incensed responses many of our col- too, and our editor in chief will PDF umnists glean online from respond- the InDesign fi le after it is copyedited ers often going by “Anonymous” three times, and it will be sent via or the default “Your name.” Often some sort of server to a printer who readers feel personally affronted by will print what we all created, and the opinions printed in Washington then a bunch of dudes whom nobody University’s independent student at Student Life knows will put the newspaper, and by extension by those paper out in some of the prime spots same articles online. around campus (which spots they Many students (and faculty) feel skip on which days is always worth that after they read someone’s opinion betting on) and people will pick it up they disagree with in the newspaper, and read it. they have to “set the record straight” Notice that at no point did God, or and publicly declare how vehe- a wizard or your mother give me, my mently their opinion differs from that editor or any of our columnists their originally expressed. They will write blessing. Notice that we wrote what online comments, or letters to the edi- we wanted to and that that was it. tor or entire opinion-editorial pieces The words on this page are things to defend their cause, their organiza- that people think, organized into a tion and their sense of self. comprehensible and compact design The reason this alarming urge to so that you can more effi ciently and respond to what is said in our news- pleasurably read them. Why do we do paper confuses me is that it assumes it? What is the point? I write because that the words printed in our news- I think that the things I think about paper are in some way especially are worth telling other people about. legitimate. That’s all. Let me assure you: They are not. I have no more legitimacy than I want to tell you a little about the your boyfriend who claims Florida is process. It is 12:36 a.m. right now on a country in eastern Europe or your Sunday night. I know I need to fi nish professor who does not know what this article and send it to my editor reading he assigned for today. sometime tomorrow, along with those I am just a person, and I am just of Wednesday’s staff columnists, so typing on my computer. BEKCY ZHAO | STUDENT LIFE she can edit them for grammar and put them on the Student Life server. I conceived this article in thinking Dennis is a junior in Arts & Science and about the response to my last article. a Forum editor. He can be reached via Lower the credit cap It bothers me a) that I feel many e-mail at [email protected] your has failed, other methods should to step off of that edge and onto The studyaholic, like the You can’t study be tried. Just as the ban on sales surer ground, I would fall off workaholic, is always the friend of bottled water has succeeded the edge in another class. Put in absentia. Theirs is a selfish how to live a life where encouraging students to another way, I lurched from crisis approach to life. They are a void THOUGHTS give up bottled water on campus to crisis. From exam, to exam, that is missing from people’s at www.studlife.com failed, this cap will succeed as to paper, to work, to exam, to lives. Studyaholics will protest Brent Sherman well. class… that they really wished they did Staff Columnist Whether you agree with me In a car mechanic’s office not have to study all of the time, or not, chances are that you have one day, I read a kitschy piece of but then they will sign up for just Behind Executive Committee heard about someone who is advice, “Don’t get so caught up as many classes next semester as hile most students taking 19, 20 or even 21 credit making a living that you forget to before. restructuring at Washington Uni- hours! With this many hours, make a life.” Everyone agrees that Lastly, the studyaholic will versity know how there is no way that a student can workaholics are bad, and I say also miss out on the extracurricu- Less bureaucracy needed, not more to balance their effectively learn while still being that studyaholics are just as bad. lars that are just as important as It all sounds like more bureaucracy to me. Just what we need, more layers Wclasses with their social lives, a part of the community (a.k.a. By lowering the cap, students will the curriculum. By joining clubs, and rules to SU. How about FEWER layers, SU? What’s the point of all this, some do not. It is for these few, having a social life). be able to study a sane amount getting involved on and off cam- anyway, SU? How about you just stay out of everyone’s business. who against their better judg- I know people who are study- and still succeed in class. pus and simply hanging out with ment (or lack thereof) overwork ing so much that I never see them. Furthermore, the new cap friends, a student will grow as a ‘Your name’ themselves that I propose that I was that person one semester, would improve the community person. Regardless of what any of Washington University lower and I missed my friends. I did not by allowing students the neces- us ends up doing, we should all All housing should cost the its credit cap per semester to 18 hang out with my roommates or sary free time to have a life. You be people who have lived a life credit hours. It would balance a floor. I really just stagnated and will not remember that night you outside of class. same amount student’s academics with his or backslid socially. Albeit, I did stayed up in Whispers until 5 her life and improve the commu- learn a lot. a.m. to finish a project. You will Unintended Consequences nity on campus. Or I think I did. I knew what remember that night you and your So you want to make it more fair for low-income individuals by raising the cost I generally favor a bottom-up I had to know and what I didn’t friends had a snowball fight on of living in our ‘low-cost option’? I think your proposal will have unintended approach to solving social prob- have to know and at what times. the Swamp. Think back to what Brent is a sophomore in Engineer- consequences similar to raising minimum wage to help low-wage workers. lems, as I hate a nanny govern- I made it by on the razor’s edge you remember about high school ing. He can be reached via e-mail at ‘Joe’ ment, but when that approach in each class because if I tried and see if I am right. [email protected].

YOUR VOICE: LETTERS AND GUEST COLUMNS OUR VOICE: EDITORIAL BOARD OUR WEB POLICY

Student Life welcomes letters to the editor and op-ed submissions from Editorials are written by the Forum editors and refl ect the consensus of Once an article has been published on www.studlife.com, readers. the editorial board. The editorial board operates independently of the our Web site, it will remain there permanently. We do not newsroom. remove articles from the site, nor do we remove authors’ Letters to the Editor News: (314) 935-5995 names from articles already published on the Web, unless an One Brookings Drive #1039 Fax: (314) 935-5938 agreement was reached prior to July 1, 2005. St. Louis, MO 63130-4899 e-mail: [email protected] Editor in Chief: Sam Guzik Senior Scene Editor: Shayna Makaron Why do we do this? Because Google and other search en- All submissions must include the writer’s name, class, address and phone Associate Editor: Indu Chandrasekhar Senior Cadenza Editor: Cecilia Razak gines cache our Web site on a regular basis. Our thought is number for verifi cation. Student Life reserves the right to edit all letters for Managing Editors: David Song, Brian Senior Forum Editor: Jill Strominger style, length, libel considerations and grammar. Letters should be no longer this: once an article has been published online, it’s too late to than 350 words in length. Readers may also submit longer articles of up to Stitt, Trisha Wolf Forum Editors: Tess Croner, Bill Hoff- take back. It is irrevocably part of the public sphere. As such, 750 words as guest columns. Student Life reserves the right to print any Senior Photo Editor: Evan Wiskup man, Aditya Sarvesh, Dennis Sweeney, removing an article from our site would serve no purpose. submission as a letter or guest column. Senior Sports Editor: Josh Goldman Tricia Wittig WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 11, 2009 Forum Editor / Jill Strominger / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | FORUM 5 Dead letters

Charlie Bohlen They must merely adapt, goes the Staff Columnist Okrentian line. And taking stock of current digital efforts, like The Daily Beast—started by former New Yorker Editor Tina Brown—an earnest if e who work today by uneven attempt at “news curation,” accident in paper and or more established successes such as ink...should be happy. The Huffi ngton Post or the Drudge For we know—we Report, one might believe it. They mustW know—that the words and are, after all, chiefl y comprised of pictures and ideas and images and no- articles or links to articles written by tions and substance that we produce people whose chief aim is to educate, is what matters—and not the vessel analyze or explain. Perhaps it is that they arrive in.” This is taken merely a matter of abandoning one from a talk delivered at Columbia vessel for another. University’s School of Journalism in But this too is mere hopeful the year 2000, by the then-editor of axiom. The net is young, very young, Time, Inc. and future public editor of and it is ever changing. Any similar- The New York Times, Dan Okrent. It ity between current news offerings was a speech entitled “The Death of should not be taken as an offi cial

Print.” In this speech, Orkent made benediction of the digital age. We a pithy ode to the enduring nature of should remember that the very news- journalism, confi dent that whatever papers we read took several hundred happened, the people would always years to become the avowedly

independent, neutral and boldly enter- prising content gatherers we now revere. In between came the inven- tion of such notions of copyright, free What confronts us is speech, libel law and other institu- “ tional innovations. Some look upon the grim reality that these ideas as milestones of human progress. It’s hard to see them now as there is nothing that anything more than minor tweaks in a defunct software. For their survival in print journalists pro- the digital age is no assured thing. duce that cannot be Because the net, unlike movable type, has the power of rapid and “ unbounded evolution. And it is a produced better and ruthlessly opportunist. Any slightly cheaper on the Internet. more personalized, more socially amenable, more effi cient or just plain prettier method of disseminating information is heedlessly adopted in droves. Twitter, the short-form need the news. But a decade later, this blogging apparatus that most mocked death is undeniably upon us. as a farcical and masturbatory The entire publishing world, long exercise in narcissistic over-sharing, overextended and debt ridden, has has become a cultural phenomenon. begun to painfully contract. A few Facebook recently made an attempt daily papers have offi cially ceased to to purchase it. Obama used it for his exist in physical form, and dozens of entire campaign and uses it still. And magazines have folded. And perhaps it took two weeks to build and imple- fi ttingly, it is the grim optimism of ment. One year from now, it could be Okrent that is most often invoked as dead as Ruckus. There is simply among many journalists and their no way to tell. What is apparent is families when I hear this current that the net is rudderless and will crisis discussed. Try as I might, I probably remain so throughout the can’t see any way toward agreeing foreseeable future. And in its many with them. metamorphoses, I struggle to fi nd any What confronts us is the grim systematized format that hews to any GODIVA REISENBICHLER | STUDENT LIFE reality that there is nothing that print notion of craft. Bloggeristic integrity really square this question, we have still get Paul Krugman’s ideas on sional accountability that even the the truth, or its best approximation. journalists produce that cannot be is not an idea I expect to come across to ask ourselves if there is anything, the stimulus package. We cannot best papers could not ever hope to In that I must disagree with Okrent: produced better and cheaper on the any time soon. anything at all, that journalists, as expect to be the ones who break the effect. Can we call ourselves the Compared to the vessel, they could Internet. This does not, in and of So, I hold no stock in the as- journalists, can provide better than real scoops. TMZ and Matt Drudge voice of the people, when they are not matter less. itself, spell journalism’s doom. Print sumption that just because any given anyone else. We can no longer are far less encumbered by either learning, for better or worse, to speak journalists are still professionals, format that happens to resemble expect to be the guild of the worthy scruples or taste, while more civic- for themselves? We are left with little Charlie is a sophomore in Arts & Sci- schooled in an art that most of us newspapers is currently surviving on opinion. The New York Times could minded sites like Follow the Money more than our debunked methodolo- ences. He can be reached via e-mail at deem essential to any free society. the Internet, its future is secured. To shutter up tomorrow, and we could allow us a dimension of congres- gies and our empty commitment to [email protected]. The fallacy of A response to “Church of hate”

was presented was in fact an at- interesting. Posner writes that state that the 1.2 billion-member Zach Gietl tack on the Catholic Church. “…Nostra Aetate, the declaration Catholic Church is a “Church of moral equivalence Op-Ed Submission At the beginning of his article that formally established that hate” because of a few people or he states, “There are many things the Jews were no more respon- actions is utterly reprehensible in both in centuries past and in sible for the crucifixion of Jesus my opinion. Roei Eisenberg tend to have any objectivity, try not s I sat down to eat recent years for which to criticize than any other peoples.” What While Mr. Posner is certainly Op-Ed Submission to write such morally ambiguous my lunch on Friday the Catholic Church.” I cannot the pertinent part of the docu- entitled to be skeptical of the sentences in your articles as: “Am- while reading Student argue with this fact; there are ment actually states is “True, Catholic Church and feel that it nesty does not support the targeting Life, I nearly choked many things in the history of the Jewish authorities and those has no place “in our modern and here is tragedy in Gaza, of civilians by either side. How- whenA I read the article “Church the Catholic Church which I, who followed their lead pressed rational society,” I do not feel as Monday’s Op-Ed ever, Israel’s 18-month blockade on of hate” by Caleb Posner. As I as a Catholic, am not proud of. for the death of Christ; still, that he is entitled to use his bully “Tragedy in Gaza, on Gaza left Palestinians with limited read through the article, I became Nevertheless, I challenge him what happened in His passion pulpit to preach views which both sides” (Student Life, resources and medical supplies and more and more frustrated by to find any organization that is cannot be charged against all are not only flawed but also Feb.T 9) would have you believe. increased poverty in the area.” Are the lack of the fullness of truth flawless. As stated in the Bible, the Jews, without distinction, hypocritical. If we look at the However, since Israel uprooted set- you trying to hint that the targeting and the hypocritical tone of the “Let the person among you who then alive, nor against the Jews definition of hate, we find that it tlers and withdrew its armed forces, of innocent Israeli civilians is justi- author. However, before I delve is without sin cast the first stone” of today. Although the Church is “intense hostility and aversion the tragedy is wholly one-sided. At fi ed by a decrease in the quality of in too far, first let me state that (John 8:7). Moreover, I found it is the new people of God, the usually deriving from fear, anger, fi rst, I was dismayed by the author’s life in Gaza, or did I misunderstand there is no room in our or any highly ironic, one might even say Jews should not be presented as or sense of injury” (M-W.com). choice of words. But as I reminded the “however”? society for discrimination in any hypocritical, that someone who rejected or accursed by God, as Based on his column, it would myself of tragedy’s etymology, I let Within that quote, the author of its forms, including anti-Sem- titles his article “Church of hate” if this followed from the Holy seem that the author is full of out a brief chuckle. The word origi- further neglects the $650 million itism. What Bishop Williamson would write such a hate-filled Scriptures.” Perhaps Mr. Posner hate. nates from the Greek “tragoidia,” underground economy of weapons said is categorically unaccept- piece. Perhaps a better title for should apply this logic to the meaning “goat-song,” dating back and explosives or Hamas’ seizure of able and flat out wrong. Had Mr. his work would be “The hated Catholic Church. Of course there to a time when a chorus would sing nearly half the diesel fuel supplies Posner’s article focused solely on Church.” are going to be people within the Zach is a freshman in Business. He can before the ritual sacrifi ce of a goat. and its attacks on the border cross- this, I would have had no objec- I also find his interpreta- Church who are going to do or be reached via e-mail at gietlz@olin. The parallel is striking. Hamas is ings through which those supplies tion to the article; however, what tion of Nostra Aetate to be quite say stupid, hurtful things, but to wustl.edu. singing louder and louder. And the are received. The author simply Palestinians pay a higher toll each blames the poverty of Palestinians and every time. on Israel. Furthermore, in an article Wash. U. Amnesty Interna- that claims there are multiple sides tional would have you believe that to the story, the omission of Gaza’s there is tragedy on both sides. Yet other neighbor, Egypt, who instated pictures of destruction in Israel and a brutal blockade more than a year Eight hours of wasted potential interviews with distraught current ago and ordered its soldiers to shoot and former residents of Sderot are or break the legs of border-hoppers, not fl ooding your screens. Wash. is quite telling. complished! The books you could sleep’s reign over a third of our way to get by with less sleep. U. Amnesty International would My favorite part of this entire Sleep may be nec- read, the languages you could existence. I intend to fi ght! After In the meantime, I suppose I’ll have you believe that there is a situation is that last week, I asked learn! Why, you might even be able all, just because sleep is necessary just have to do what I can to sleep moral equivalence argument to be the Wash. U. community to commit essary, but I’ll still to actually fi nish that mountain of doesn’t mean that I have to be ap- less. Part of this might be required made. Yet nowhere in the article do to a real dialogue about the confl ict. homework your professors give preciative of it. Taxes are necessary by those previously-mentioned they inform you that Hamas, the This Saturday, the co-president of fi ght it you every week! Hell, even if you too, but you don’t fi nd too many mountains of homework which democratically-elected government Amnesty International on campus just spent it playing games, at least people singing their praises. seem to follow me at all times, but of Gaza, stole U.N. aid last week, accused me of having an agenda you would be having fun. Almost I think it’s very important, I like to think that I’d do it anyway. forcing the United Nations to stop and attacked the organization I Tom Butcher anything would be better than sur- therefore, that we devote as much For each hour less you sleep per supplying residents of Gaza, who work for. Then on Monday, she Staff Columnist rendering a third of your life to the energy as possible to fi nd a way night, you gain an extraordinary rely almost wholly on the world’s published the aforementioned nightly void. to reduce or eliminate the need amount of your life back. If you generosity. reason for this response. Since Of course, the usual counter-ar- for sleep. In my formative years, I can manage to sleep just six hours So I ask, which side is denying the times have not changed, I will f you are exactly 21 years gument to this is that without those played a video game called Earth- a night, then you’ll only lose one- civilians their basic human rights, end as I did before: “There is no old, then you have lived for eight hours of sleep, the 16 waking bound, which featured a group of fourth of your life, as opposed to the side that specifi cally targets real dialogue about these issues on 184,080 hours. And if you get hours couldn’t be productive – or, four children who team up to save one-third. By the time you reach civilians or the side that risked the campus. There are only ideologues an average of eight hours of indeed, even tolerable. “You have the universe. Normally, you would 60, that’s an extra fi ve years that lives of its soldiers in a dangerous on both sides, pitching their ‘solu- sleepI a night, then you have spent to spend some time recharging the sleep in a bed in order to regain all you get to live, just by sleeping two ground offensive? Which side is tions’ to the wrong confl ict. Until 61,362 of those hours in bed and batteries,” they always say. your health. However, at one point fewer hours per night! Imagine the denying civilians their basic human people make a real effort to educate unconscious. That’s almost 2,557 I suppose that this might be in the game, you come across a sci- possibilities! rights, the side that teaches its themselves about the real confl ict, days, more than 365 weeks, and the point where most would go for ence lab where, instead of beds, the Yes, I do acknowledge that children that Jews and Christians I’ll go back to sitting on my couch precisely seven years. In other some sort of grand, neo-existential- scientists have special pod-devices humans need and usually appreci- are “pigs and apes” and that the wishing I had something substan- words, it’s a third of your life. Have ist point about how short life is and that give them the equivalent of ate sleep. But that doesn’t stop me greatest honor is to die in the act of tive to do.” you ever considered that fact? We how we have to appreciate what a full night of sleep in about fi ve from wishing that we didn’t. killing others, or the side that has spend one third of our existence in we’ve got, ‘because we’ve only got seconds. How cool is that? I’m not painfully tried to integrate a minor- Roei is a senior in Arts & Sciences. a nocturnal state, where we are un- one life to live,’ and so forth and so sure if such a thing is possible, but Tom is a junior in Arts & Sciences. ity that sides with its enemies? He can be reached via e-mail at able to accomplish anything. forth. Well, screw that, I say! That’s it seems to me that if we can split He can be reached via e-mail at Also, if you ever want to pre- [email protected]. Just think of what could be ac- just giving in, passively accepting atoms, we ought to be able to fi nd a [email protected]. 6 STUDENT LIFE | SPORTS Sports Editor / Josh Goldman / [email protected] WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARY 11, 2009

TENNIS PREVIEWSPORTS Men set to defend title after winning run Josh Goldman Senior Sports Editor

The Washington University men’s tennis team will begin the spring season ranked No. 1 in Divi- sion III and poised to make another title run. The Bears have held onto the No. 1 ranking after winning the 2008 NCAA National Champion- ship and following the title with strong play in the Intercollegiate Tennis Association Small College Championships last October. In October, junior John Watts, the No. 3-ranked singles player in D-III, lost in the semifinals while the No. 3 doubles team of seniors Charlie Cutler and Chris Hoeland won the tournament. The 2007-08 season was a year of firsts for the men, who beat UAA powerhouse and rival Emory Uni- versity twice last season, including in the NCAA championship match. “With a team that’s returning every member from a champion- ship team, you have expectations, but really it’s almost a relief. We accomplished our goal last year, so we don’t really have to stress about it this year,” Cutler, a co-captain, said. The team, however, still lost to the Eagles in the UAA final and is seeking its first UAA title. “It’s probably one of the first things I heard when I started here. It’s been consistent,” Head Coach Roger Follmer said of the Emory rivalry. The men open play on Saturday DOOVEY HAN | STUDENT LIFE at Drury University, which reached Last year, the Bears earned a No. 1 ranking and won the NCAA Division III Natinal Championship. All 13 members from the championship team will return for the 2009 season. the semifinals of the Division II NCAA tournament last season. “We’re just looking for a good on Feb. 20. als] last year, so we’re just looking confident that the added competi- disappointed that we lost to Santa Indoor Championships on Feb. 20, start to the season. It’s going to “The following weekend will to improve on that,” Hoeland said. tion of intra-team play has brought Cruz in the semis since we really the rest of the team will get the be good competition, so we’ll just probably be the first taste these The team returns all 13 mem- the Bears to the top of D-III ten- let the doubles get away from us. In chance for some early playing time use this match to see where we are guys get. We didn’t win national bers from last season and has added nis. doubles, we were up a break on ev- against McKendree University on heading into nationals,” Hoeland, a indoors last season, but we’ll be three freshmen, making it arguably Equally impressive is the team’s ery court, and then next thing you Feb. 21. co-captain, said. the top seed at national indoor, so the deepest squad in Wash. U. his- ability to turn a tough loss into a know, we were swept out 3-0…And “We can only play our best and “Outcome is not as important it will be the first look at how they tory. In challenge matches this positive, as evidenced by the Bears’ so the next day, we went out there let the chips fall where they may. as getting some solid matches un- handle at having the number one season, starters have fallen and are first win in school history against and swept doubles with Emory. So We have to prepare, train a lot, play der our belts…It would be nice to sign,” Follmer said. constantly tested by the rest of the Emory last season following a loss I think the first time we beat them well and be working on things we beat them too,” Cutler said. “There’s only as much pressure team, which has raised the level of to the University of California- in school history, we didn’t even need to, and after that, we just have The team will use the Drury as we put on ourselves. We always play of every athlete. Santa Cruz at last year’s indoor think about playing them since we to relax on the court and let our match to find all areas of necessary have high expectations. There’s no Citing past Wash. U. volleyball championships. were disappointed that we let one game take over,” Hoeland said on improvement before the National added pressure after having won, teams that had reserves capable of “We’re really just focused on go against the Banana Slugs.” the team’s pursuit of its first UAA Indoor Championships, which start but we got third [at indoor nation- defeating its starters, Follmer is improving. Last year, we were so While the starters travel to the and second NCAA championship. bearprofi les: Kelly Kono Becky Chanis of which are in individual events. She “That’s always a relief to have Sports Reporter is an 18-time All-America swimmer her on your relay, because you know and has qualifi ed for the NCAA Di- when she goes in the water, anything vision III Championship each of the that she can do, she will do,” junior Senior Kelly Kono, captain of past three years; this year will be no Jessica Lodewyk said. the women’s swim team, is a very exception. Like many other varsity athletes, humble and outgoing individual. But While Kono has been swimming Kono chose Wash. U., since it mixed underneath that cheerful exterior is an for 16 years and has trained tirelessly top-tier D-III athletics and academics. internal fi re that helps her leave com- to attain her successes, she attributes “I looked at a lot of schools,” petitors in her wake. much of her success to her team. Kono said, “and when it came down “She’s an interesting duality,” “I think a lot of the time what mo- to the choice between a D-I program Head Coach Brad Shively said. “She’s tivates me the most is not letting down and a D-III program, I picked Wash. got all these components to her, but my teammates,” Kono said. “During a U. because it offered the best of both honestly, when she gets to a race, she’s lot of relays when I’ve been racing to worlds.” pretty mean.” catch up or stay in the lead, I think of Kono’s intensity in the water is COURTESY OF WASHINGTON Kelly’s competitive focus has or envision my teammates, the people tempered by her spirit and enthusi- UNIVERSITY PHOTO SERVICES defi nitely proven its worth. Currently, who are counting on me and who I asm for her team. Although she takes Kono has been named an All Kono holds six school records, three don’t want to let down.” her role as captain seriously, Kono is American 18 times during her 3+ always eager to enjoy her time on the years at Wash. U. pool deck. “Kono has a lot of energy,” self to a cord and swimming in place custom Official WUSTL Lodewyk said. “She always has a during practice. supplier positive infl uence on the team. She’s “I’ve had so many teammates who screenprinting always ready to get up and cheer, get have had to quit because of injuries,” We provide up and make a fool of herself like any Kono said. “I am just really grateful I embroidery a full line of leader should.” haven’t had to do that.” officially Licensed Her enthusiasm doesn’t stop there, But in dealing with her injuries, Greek products promotional as she organizes team outings and in- Kono’s competitive fi re and spirit al- products vents cheers. Enthusiasm seems to be ways shines through. in her nature, especially when involv- “It’s amazing. She trains as well as low price ing swimming. she can, but she can’t do the full things high quality Yet, as in any other athletic ca- that we can do,” Lodewyk said. “But dependable reer, Kelly has faced setbacks. A back yet, she gets to a meet, and she can do delivery [email protected] injury has forced her to cut back on the starts, she can do the turns. It’s just 314.795.1403 | www.stalbanspromotions.com workouts and fi nd creative solutions to really incredible what she can pull out training problems, such as tying her- when she needs to for the team.”

DAILY SPECIALS WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY e Gallery on Washington

Large 1-Topping Pizza $200 off your first month’s rent! 4140 Washington Ave. Just minutes from the Wash-U campus! for only $7.99 Additional Toppings are Extra Efficiency through Large 1 bedrooms. From Add wings for only $5.99 $550-$850 per month. & 2-Liter of Coke, Sprite, or Gated parking, keyless entry, 24 hour Diet for only $2.00 maintenance, camera surveillance, marble lobby with free Wi-Fi and a granite fountain! Delivery Charges Apply Offer expires 5/31/09 Mon-Thurs 10am-1am Fri-Sat 10am-2am Sun 11am-12am Units offer granite counters, marble bathrooms, hardwood floors, balconies, new ORDER ONLINE at www.papajohns.com appliances with a washer/dryer in every unit! CALL us at 314.534.1323 CALL 367.PAPA (7272) www.stlapartmentsforyou.com WEDNESDAY | FEBRUARYSCENE 11, 2009 Scene Editor / Shayna Makaron / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | SCENE 7 The power of touch makes getting busted Brooke Genkin than just beauty purposes—they relief in addition to wellness Scene Online Editor are forms of person-to-person information regarding stress contact that can have healing management. a good thing powers. Bridging the doctor’s of- This is great news, not only fice and the spa, massage therapy because back rubs feel good, but In studying the healing practices has always held a prominent posi- also because they have incredible of different cultures, one finds tion in the healing model. benefits. Physically working and Shayna Makaron Friedman did fi eld work in the is that it is not just for individual certain commonalities, the most Of the several massage types stimulating muscles prompts old Senior Scene Editor health promotion offi ce at Colum- students, but also for faculty and notable of which is the “laying available, the most basic and blood to move out and new blood bia University, which he later went groups on campus. on of hands.” The human touch instinctive is a traditional back to move in, improving circulation. on to direct. It was then, in 1996, “It’s another way to unite the has long been considered to have rub. Back rubs are a quick way to Improved circulation has benefits that Stressbusters was born. Due students with the rest of campus,” healing powers, and the practice help relieve stress by physically of its own as new oxygenated “Wanna give me a back rub?” to instant popularity at Columbia, she said. of laying on of hands can be seen targeting aching muscles in the blood to the muscles reduces Chances are you’ve asked this Stressbusters soon spread to other Once students have been even in ape families, in which neck and back and stimulating the amount of lactic acid in the of one of your friends at some schools: Johns Hopkins, NYU, St. trained, Stressbusters will be open grooming is an intimate form of circulation to the rest of the body. muscles and associated soreness. point, or perhaps you make the John’s, Harvard and now, Wash- for business and conducting events bonding. As far as we’ve come The physical release of tense Back rubs can also stimulate request on a regular basis if you’re ington University. on campus. Popular events at other from our ape predecessors, as muscles sends hormone signals the lymphatic system of the body, especially ballsy. And the response The mission of Stressbusters schools have taken place during humans, we too feel a connection back to the brain. “Feel good” improving the immune system and generally goes something like this: is “to provide sustained relaxation midterms at the library, Dance to others, and perhaps a sense of serotonin and dopamine hor- reducing the risk of contracting an your friend scoffs at you and reacts opportunities, to increase wellness Marathon, Staff Appreciation Day, healing through touching. mones are then released while the infection or virus (which is espe- with a fi rm “no.” Or maybe you outreach, to provide stress reduc- move-in weekend or study breaks. Medical practices such as chi- production of cortisol, the “stress cially helpful during these winter get the classic “I’ll do you if you tion skills and to increase visibility As an Event Host, the president ropractics and acupuncture have hormone,” is inhibited. This months). So helpful, in fact, that do me,” at which point you sigh of wellness programs on campus.” of a student organization can col- long taken advantage of these means reduced heart rate, blood health practitioners claim a 1-hour and retract your request. To achieve these goals, students laborate with Stressbusters to host healing powers. Manipulating pressure, depression and anxiety, full body massage can have the With the introduction of the on campus apply to go through an an event for their group. the spine and targeting pressure as well as alleviated physical physical benefits of three hours of Stressbusters program on campus, extensive, yet enjoyable train- After the events, the “Just Bust- points and chi energies, these pain. aerobic exercise. Unfortunately, this scenario will become obsolete. ing program (think learning to ed” can leave comments on their practices date back hundreds of Lucky for Wash. U. students, that does not mean you should Washington University students give back rubs on each other) 5-7 minute back rub experience. years and have continued to exist back rubs will now be offered for drop your morning workout for a and faculty prepare to enter a that prepares them to be offi cial Friedman’s favorite thus far is one for their continued benefit to the free at special events held by a trip to Massage Envy, but it does new era of back rubs provided on “Stressbusters.” A licensed mas- left by a student who, believe it or human body, mind and spirit. new program on campus called mean that every now and then a campus by trained students. Best sage therapist (LMT) teaches not, said it was the fi rst back rub In addition, spa treatments “Stressbusters.” Trained student good ole back rub could do you of all, it’s free. trainees the skills essential to being that he or she had ever had. such as manicures, pedicures, fa- Stressbusters will be offering some good. Rewind several years to when a successful Stressbuster, including “That’s why Stressbusters is cials and even haircuts serve more back rubs as a means of stress Jordan Friedman, creator of Stress- how to communicate with clients, so amazing,” Friedman explained. busters, was in his fi rst year at the information about body areas and “As a student Stressbuster, you can University of Maryland, College back rub techniques. open up this huge door to someone Park. Upon visiting health services Another element of training is a who’s never had a back rub before with stomach pain and indigestion, course called “Stress and Relax- and they might think it’s awesome Friedman learned that his ailments ation 101” that teaches the trainees and keep coming back. It’s really were caused by stress. The doctor what stress is and how back rubs an amazing opportunity.” referred Friedman to a stress man- help; not only are Stressbusters For notifi cations of future agement course and, although he prepared to help with their hands, Stressbusters events or to learn was skeptical, the class turned out but they also act as wellness how to set up your own Stress- Sprinkling sex across campus to be a huge help. ambassadors by providing health busters event on campus, contact Friedman continued to take information and referrals to Stu- [email protected]. classes in stress management as dent Health Services. To apply to be a Stressbuster, Scott Fabricant though women resonate more with making pornography, instead fo- part of his academic fi eld of study, Mental Health Promotion As- download the simple application Scene Reporter it because its a woman’s story. My cusing on art, writing, education going on to receive his Master of sociate Ginny Fendell noted that at shs.wustl.edu/stressbusters.htm. talk is probably more for women and advocacy about pornography Public Health degree from New one of Student Health Services’ The fi rst training sessions will be while Ron’s is for the guys.” and prostitution. York University. While at NYU, favorite elements of Stressbusters held on Feb. 27 and 28. And yes, Jeremy and Sprinkle “I know lots of sex workers Former porn actress and sex have made several movies to- who love their work and take educator Annie Sprinkle visited gether. pride in their work and do great the University yesterday and Sprinkle’s career dates back to service. But then I’ve met some e Gallery on Washington today to take part in a series of 1978, when she entered the world who are pretty miserable. But 4140 Washington Ave. talks and movie screenings to of pornography and prostitution it’s that way with many jobs,” Efficiency through Large 1 bedrooms. From $550-$850 per month. educate students about sex and at the age of 18. With 20 years in Sprinkle said. “I enjoyed it. I Free Prize for playing Sodoku and Crossword Puzzle valued at $50!! pornography. the business and as many as 3,500 liked sex and I felt like I was Send code # 8516 to [email protected] The Tuesday events were a partners, she became a pioneer bringing pleasure to many. It was CALL us at 314.534.1323 www.stlapartmentsforyou.com panel discussion on pornography of alternative pornographies and kind of interesting to get naked in society and a lecture called was the first porno actress to get and have sex with strangers, a “My Life as a Feminist Porn a Ph.D. in human sexuality from kind of performance art.” Activist.” Wednesday’s events the Institute for the Advanced Sprinkle contests the notion focus more on sex, with an open Study of Human Sexuality in San that pornography and prostitu- sex clinic in the Danforth Uni- Francisco. tion are by nature exploitive of versity Center, a screening of the “I was a pioneer in alternative women. documentary “Annie Sprinkle’s kinds of porn,” Sprinkle said. “Most industries are exploi- Amazing World of Orgasm” and a “Still sexually explicit imagery, tive—people are paid to do jobs. workshop on “ecstasy breathing,” but more in the art category. It’s If you see sex as a bad thing but described as “erotic experience not mainstream, you can’t jerk off you have to do it anyway, that’s through the breath, and a possible to it. It’s intellectual stimulation, exploitation,” Sprinkle said. “The energy orgasm experience.” more conceptual experimentation. real problem is poverty. There are “We’ll be giving real practical I’m like the Yoko Ono of porn.” women and men who don’t have hands-on sex advice...well, not An unexpected virtue of porn, choices because they’re so poor hands-on, but practical,” Sprinkle at least in Sprinkle’s opinion, is they don’t have other options. I joked. its value as a cultural artifact. had other options.” Sprinkle’s visit is being hosted “They’re historical documents, Ultimately, Sprinkle’s work- by the Alternative Lifestyles As- a mirror of where our society is shops are more than titillating sociation. at sexually. It documents people’s talks about sex. She is a window Sprinkle will not be the only sexual habits. Porn from 100 to sex and art beyond porn, and porn star visiting campus this years ago is very different; people her life is worth learning a lesson Sex Week, as Ron Jeremy will had sex differently than they do from. be taking part in a debate on now,” Sprinkle said. “There’s “Porn is just one little part pornography on Friday. However, mainstream, but there’s also of what I’ve done. I love to talk Sprinkle believes their talks target docuporn, artsy porn, fetish porn about it, but it’s not all who I a different audience. that’s quite sweet and some hard am,” Sprinkle said. “Mainstream “He’s got the male, main- and heavy BDSM stuff that’s porn was 20 years ago for me. It stream pop culture version, and pretty extreme. There’s all kinds, was a great adventure, but I’m on I’m the political feminist, artsy but that’s how people are. That’s a to newer and better things.” person,” Sprinkle said. “Guys reflection of our society.” may find my talk interesting, al- Sprinkle is no longer active in

Sudoku By The Mepham Group

Level: 1 2 3 4 Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Solution to Monday’s puzzle

© 2009 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved. 2/11/09 8 STUDENTCADEN LIFE | CADENZA Cadenza Editor / Cecilia Razak / [email protected] Z WEDNESDAYA | FEBRUARY 11, 2009 It’s Not Me, It’s You ALBUM REVIEW Lily Allen Two Tongues Two Tongues

Steve Hardy Music Editor

Two Tongues, the hybrid super- group that is one half Saves the Day and one half Say Anything, isn’t quite as poppy as the former or punkish as the latter. But, to be fair, they never really settle comfortably in any one sound. In the mere 35 minutes it takes to burn through the 13 tracks on their eponymous debut album, the two vocalists trade lyrics and styles, jumping from Say Anything’s Max ★★★★✮ Bemis spitting spite over staccato guitars to Saves the Day’s Chris for fans of Conley wailing over lush instru- Say Anything, Saves the Day mental arrangements. The contrast is astounding. On “Wowee Zowee,” Conley and tracks to download Bemis play Jekyll and Hyde, with “Wowee Zowee,” “If I Could Conley’s voice lilting over gentle Make You Do Things,” “Positive arpeggiated guitars and melodic bass, while Bemis charges in with Negative” a thunder of cymbals and chug- ging guitar. Besides commanding “indie rock” sound, bolstered by vocals, Conley and Bemis wield the bass and drum corps of Dave distinctive guitars (each plays the Soloway and Coby Linder, on lead, in a way) and lay needling loan from Saves the Day and Say melodies with razor-sharp power Anything, respectively. chords, respectively. With a punk rock drummer who “If I Could Make You Do always seems to want to be just a Things” is another excellent exam- hair ahead of the beat (in a good ple of the vocalists’ complemen- way) and a bassist with his mind Eric Lee ably similar to her fi rst, mixing her to song construction, her produc- tary ability, as the two begin with on melody, straightforward tracks Cadenza Reporter trademark combative, promiscuous tion creates interest throughout the a very similar timbre and diverge like “Alice” are lively and surpris- ethos with a suitable number of tender album with a variety of electronic and ★★★★✩ over the course of the song, with ingly nuanced. ballads. Nothing here matches “LDN” riff-based tricks. Lead single “The Conley becoming increasingly The only real complaints Lily Allen: temperamental pop or the aforementioned “Smile” off of Fear” topped the UK singles chart in for fans of whiny and while Bemis pours on against the album are that two of songstress, user of ecstasy at age 14, her debut, but every song is a winner. December, and with its blaring synths Britney Spears, Robyn the menace, each giving face to a the three closing tracks aren’t as bearer of three nipples and chronic Those looking solely for powerful and dark bassline, seems poised for vital facet of the song’s underlying strong as the rest of the album. At alcoholic. To this list of dubious yet vocals and intricate wordplay should similar success stateside. Standout tracks to download sense of desperation. more than four minutes, “Try Not compelling qualities can now be back away slowly, shaking a clove of track “Not Fair” is a song about a The band doesn’t operate to Save Me” tries to be a little too added: creator of awesome second garlic to hide their scent. Allen crafts potato-sack-with-a-dong type lay and “The Fear,” “Not Fair”, “F*** You” within this double act for the entire sweeping and ends up overstaying album. pop songs backed with intricately-lay- characterizes it with the lines “look album, however; perhaps they quit its welcome and perhaps taking The notoriously-mouthy singer- ered electronic and rock production, into your eyes, I want to get to know For example, her diatribes against before the artifi ce becomes tire- itself too seriously. The closer, songwriter made a splash in 2007 adding her thin vocals and effective ya, but then you make this noise, ap- fellow starlets have been refuted in some and self-parodying, but even “Even If You Don’t,” with its with the release of her debut “Alright, lyrics. parently it’s all over.” turn, stating “I felt like ‘Oh God, I’m tracks without an obvious one-on- bouncy, pop-punk feel seems like Still” and kickoff single “Smile,” a She has added dramatic political Allen’s career is basically short, fat, ugly and I hate all these one structure are solid, and there’s an afterthought or a B-side. How- reggae-infl ected verbal castration of overtones; the fi rst track “Everyone’s constructed around her persona, people who fl aunt their beauty.’” a lot of great backup and support- ever, neither is unlistenable, and an ex-fl ame. at it” explores the overly-medicated topping lists for her style and making Her enlightened attitude toward ing vocals from each singer. It is in both are merely blips on an other- Two years, one miscarried baby, state of the world, the brilliant “F*** headlines for both her fondness for homosexuality has landed her on the these tracks, without the trade-off wise excellent debut album from a several media-aided battles against You” was originally aimed at big oil, recreational drug use and her Britney cover of Gay Times (making her the styles, that the band nestles more band of variously experienced and Katy Perry and Amy Winehouse but Allen states, “I felt this issue has Spears-esque stints in therapy and re- fi rst female on the cover in 12 years), comfortably into a recognizable promising musicians. and a few weight fl uctuations later, become relevant pretty much every- habilitation. Despite these tendencies, and her interest in the environment she returns with a similarly-minded where, we are the youth, we can make her willingness to mock the music has led her to record exclusively disc and attitude. Despite her claim coolness for our future, it’s up to us. industry and her brutal introspection at Studio A, England’s only solar- that she was attempting to move in Go green and hate hate.” in album and in press has created a powered recording studio. Lily Allen a different direction (citing the fact Regardless of the motive, the new type of celebrity—decadent yet is the shiznit, and is everything I life after Twitter that several acts copied her style), her results are fantastic. Despite her for- self-aware, hedonistic but inspiring in want to be, except female and white. most recent effort remains remark- mulaic, verse-chorus-verse approach her candor and moral philosophies. Google her. ALBUM REVIEWS Love, Hate, and Then There’s You Lonely Road Red Jumpsuit Apparatus The Von Bondies

Christina Wilson Cici Coquillette Cadenza Reporter Cadenza Reporter

It’s been more than fi ve years since The Von Bondies’ last album and front- “Lonely Road” is a snapshot man Jason Stollsteimer’s altercation of a band in the course of matu- with Jack White of the White Stripes. ration. After the commercial Stollsteimer, beaten soundly, lost not success of their previous al- only a fi ght but also the respect of the bum, “Don’t You Fake It,” Red public. Jumpsuit Apparatus (RJA) was Cici Coquillette what fi ts into the third-person singu- The Von Bondies looked poised to pigeonholed into the familiar Cadenza Reporter lar. As we became more and more fl ourish in the limelight after their 2004 pop-punk category. This time profi cient in communicating through album, “Pawn Shoppe Heart,” and its around, RJA has gone back one-line sentences, we began to hit song “C’mon, C’mon” (the theme ★★★✩✩ into the studio and halfway look for an outlet for that creative song of TV show “Rescue Me”). But reinvented themselves. If you were to look at my Twit- energy—updating your Facebook their light faded, and no one expected for fans of The first track, “You Better ★★★✩✩ ter during the past fi ve minutes, it status multiple times in one day is a a fourth album. Had this been 2004, The Killers, Band of Horses, Pray” is almost unrecognizable. for fans of would look something like this: little suspect. some of these songs may have made With more feedback, blistering CicAndDesist is writing an The most fascinating thing about it to the top of radio playlists. And it’s The New Pornographers guitar licks and an open-throat- Velvet Revolver, Fall Out Boy, article about Twitter. Twitter is how intimately people get a shame because there are some gems ed howl that brings out the best My Chemical Romance CicAndDesist wonders if Twit- to know each other within the con- within this glossy garage rock album. tracks to download in Ronnie Winter’s vocals, they tering about Twitter should be called text of 140-character entries. Amidst The Detroit rockers keep the songs “She’s Dead to Me” and seem to be channeling equal tracks to download meta-Twittering. all of the posts about delicious sand- short, with only one song exceeding “Accidents Will Happen” parts Avenged Sevenfold and “You Better Pray,” Pen and Paper,” CicAndDesist is lul’ing. wiches and mundane errands are four minutes. The songs end before the Guns N’ Roses. This venture “Senioritis” My love affair with Twitter very honest, revealing entries. It’s re- listener can become too tired of them Stollsteimer lulls you into “Ac- into another genre is incred- began as a joke. I created my ac- ally what I imagine confession must but also before a true connection can be cidents Will Happen” with his softened ibly rewarding and exciting Ironically, only one song count to prove to my suitemates that be like for Catholics. (I’m tempted made. The hard-hitting guitar riffs, fast voice and intense but endearing lyrics, for listeners—the band tackles sounds like classic Red Jump- meaningful communication could to make the obligatory “confession paced drums and lively backup vocals “She set herself on fi re/ I was burned metalcore and post-hardcore suit Apparatus. “Senioritis” be accomplished in 140 characters. behind a screen” pun, but I just can’t pass by in a blur of energized urgency from head to toe/ please don’t tell any- and sounds like they’ve really brings back the soaring vocals “Brevity is the soul of wit,” after all. bring myself to do so.) that would have taken hold had there body/ I can’t bear them to know.” He hit their stride. and more treble-infused power What followed was a simultaneous Twitter forces one to consider the been any hooks within the song. continues these contrasts by intensify- However, this new sound chords we’ve come to expect explanation of our desire for connec- difference between destroying com- Most songs exhibit little explo- ing his voice for the chorus and then doesn’t last. By the next track, from them. Of the three acous- tion and immediate gratifi cation and munication and hearing too much. ration in terms of sound and are falling back into lulling tones. the band is back to tired pop- tic tracks on the record, two are what some would call an unhealthy While some say that technology stereotypical pop. Within this expected The Von Bondies exude a cool punk sounds and sentiments. excellent. “Represent” and the addiction. limits real interaction and is turning fl uff, the hidden gems struggle for attitude and retro sound but neither RJA describes their album the title track show off just how The onset of Twitter’s popular- our whole generation into antiso- attention. One song is “She’s Dead to is enough to carry an album. “Love, best themselves. On “Pen and far RJA has come musically ity was really only a matter of time. cial techno-hermits, the fact of the Me.” Although it’s only a minute and a Hate and Then There’s You” is full Paper,” Winter laments, “This from their early days. The third, The whole phenomenon began with matter is that we’re more connected half, it’s rich in its variation, including of expected, built up choruses and whole routine is getting old/ “Godspeed,” is an unfortunate Facebook and specifi cally with the than ever before. We end up paying a wailing Stollsteimer, smooth and at unimaginative song structures. The and so am I/ and so are you/ turn of My Chemical Ro- introduction of the Facebook status. more attention to each other and times pulsing guitar riffs, steady drums female backup vocals differentiate the my reputation lets me know/ mance’s “Black Parade”-style Once upon a time, we only had understanding each other better by and complementary ’60s-esque female album, and the lyrics and Stollsteimer I can do whatever I want to.” theatrics. All things considered, three options for Facebook statuses, examining the minutiae of our days. backup vocals. Its ends in a fl ourish voice are adequate to gain the Von “Lonely Road” is split pretty “Lonely Road” is a solid al- which was quickly replaced with the Oftentimes what we get is too much that leaves the listener wanting more, Bondies new fans. But the Von Bond- evenly between patches of their bum, but one that could do with obligatory “[Your name here] is…” information, to be sure, but it’s a which probably could and should have ies surviving may be the best part of more innovative moments and a few more years’ perspective. Now the status possibilities are small price to pay for our newfound been worked out. the album. some uninspired tracks. limited only by the imagination and collective consciousness.