release of their magnificent debut LP, Back in August of last year, Goodbye Mr decline. 'Good Deeds & Dirty Rags'. Ten tales of Mackenzie were celebrating the release "Absolutely right," singer Martin Met- life-as-it-is, 10 feet taller than most of their first single for record company calfe nods in agreement. "But it wasn't As 's records, it sits musclebound in the butch - giants Capitol. At the same time rm pro- the case at all. We were going, 'Oh my est of collections. Sitting musclebound in claimed them to be "a bit like life, really". god, that's it, back to the dole queue', the butchest of armchairs, Mackenzie But, like life, the Mackenzies have their but Capitol have stuck right by us." superstars-in-waiting demon guitarist and professional fat ups and downs and 'Goodbye Mr Mack- "When '' was person Big John gives his verdict on the enzie' the single' fell short of the charts, going down the charts, we came into the as did the immense follow-up 'Open Your record company offices ready to apolog- album. :•:e• •• Goodbye Mr "It's good. It might even be the best Arms'. A little disillusioned by the injust- ise for not doing as well as expected," record ever made ... it depends." ice of it all, but mostly more determined confirms Shirley. "But they were all say- On what Big John? than ever, they have released their secret ing how well we'd done and how it's all Mackenzie release "On whether or not I'm telling the weapon, a re-recorded version of their something to build from. It gives you truth." independent classic ''. Face hope." Quite. But how does it compare to the facts, if this isn't ahit, nothing will be. Nevertheless, 'The Rattler' does appear anew version of competition? Big John's response to this question is to let rip the most almighty fart that very faintly registers on my tape recorder. Like the true gentlemen that he is, he reaches over to the table, lifts the machine and prepares to repeat him- self direct into the condenser mic. Watch out for an rm 'Pop Stars' Farts' EP attached to an issue near you soon. "Big John's flatulant tendencies are legendary all round Europe," Shirley informs me. "It's his answer to any argu- ment you might be having. If he suspects you might be getting the better of him, he just farts and that's the end of it. You're too repulsed to continue the con- versation." Also legendary are Big John (or Big Johnny Fartpants as he shall henceforth be known) and Shirley's fights. "She's always getting at me," complains Big Johnny Fartpants. "She's an evil witch." But wouldn't it be safer for him to pick on someone his own size? "Now where am Igoing to find some-

to be a make or break release for the one my size, be sensible! And anyway, she , Mackenzie keyboardist can give as good as she gets." and vocalist, was particularly perplexed by band. Happily, the reaction to this ironic their classic 'The "We don't get on any worse than any 'Open Your Arms" failure to tramp the tale of male machismo has been remark- of the others in the band," says Shirley. "I dirt down on the chart flotsam. "I ably positive, particularly from one rather think it's good that we can get it out in Rattler' single, the thought that was such a brilliant single," unexpected quarter. "Indeed; Fluff Freeman, what a man," the open ... providing he doesn't do the she says, her six inch lashes threatening declares Martin, with no small element of same with his indigestion!" to blow my wig off. "Every time Ihear it, With a skip and a parp, I leave the it gets better. I just don't understand surprise in his voice. "I couldn't believe it talk to Tim Mackenzies rattling away merrily to people's taste sometimes." when Iheard he was playing it on Radio themselves. As Ibreathe in the CPC/lead- One of their chief worries must have I, and he read out the tour dates. He keeps saying 'Buy this record', and he free London air Ifeel the pavement begin been that, in this flatulant (of which, Nicholson about to shake beneath my feet and the famous more later) and fickle business, empty should know, he is 65." This about-turn in their fortunes comes EMI Towers visibly starts to crumble. Big promises from the record company John's just ended another argument. failure, flirting and would have deflated with the singles' at an appropriate time, with the imminent

RATTLER Fe emu

the debt they owe

Fluff Freeman ...