Y SERVICE CLUB OF BENDIGO SOUTH. Inc. President – Peg Kearin [email protected] Vice President – Valmai Harris [email protected] Secretary – Peter Unmack [email protected]
Meeting, 2nd & 4th Tuesdays of the month, at 12 noon, at Kangaroo Flat Y Community Hall, 10 Lockwood Road, Kangaroo Flat. 3555. Phone Contact. President. 03 5447 7097 Club Postal Address. PO Box 1018, KANGAROO FLAT. Vic.3555. Australia.
“To acknowledge the duty that accompanies every right.”
“SOUTH SCUTTLEBUTT” January - Edition. 2021 - No. 64 - Summer
Gettimg Back In The Groove.
The festive season is over, the New Year has arrived with only a murmur, and those who have been working from home may need to adapt to their office environment again. The COVID-19 pandemic has had far reaching effects on a massive part of our workforce, something that employers and employees have never experienced before. In the middle of this upheaval, students have had to “home school” and on-line schooling has been the norm. The school year has ended and Year 12 students have received their ATAR results and, while some have the score for their chosen tertiary career, others may have to negotiate their learning pathway.
Everything looks like getting back to normal, then the Australia Day holiday is upon us. Another break from our almost normal routine. Most of the public holidays seem to fall in the first half of the year. It can be dubbed the “silly season”.
Australia Day is assuming more significance with the rumblings from, the indigenous population becoming louder as they campaign for Constitutional recognition as the original owners of this land. We have a time to think about this. This political tangle is set to keep our highest Court and most learned counsel very involved for some time, until an acceptable reconciliation is reached.
Then, of course, we have our Labour Day weekend, another three day break. Then the significant, movable, religious festival of Easter. The general public look forward to these “breaks” but I wonder how many stop and think of the true meanings behind all these breaks. Might I suggest that they are rather regarded as “a day off work and a chance to get away with their mates”. It takes a while to
“Get Back In the Groove”.
Classic Put Downs.
Being an impulse shopper, as I passed a book store a brightly coloured book caught my eye. It featured Groucho Marx (of the twitching eyebrows and lecherous look) and Classic “Put Downs” attributed to the quick wit of him and his show-biz friends. A good Put-Down is a lot more than a mere insult. The smartest put-downs raise the catty remark to an art form where even the unfortunate target is forced to respond with a wry smile of appreciation. Some examples are: No holds barred. • “I won’t be photographed with that over made-up tart” - Princess Margaret on crossdressing popstar Boy George.
• “She has the mouth of Marilyn Monroe and the eyes of Caligula” French President, Francois Mitterand on British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.”
Below the belt. • Raquel Welch is someone I can also live without. We’ve got some love scenes together and I’m dreading them. - Oliver Reed on beautiful screen star Raquel Welch.
Ultrapersonal • The man who wears his hair back to front. - Comedian Frankie Howard on chat show host David Frost.
• His ears make him look like a taxicab with both doors open. Howard Hughes on “Gone with the Wind” legend, Clark Gable
Favourite Targets. • Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful, she turned it into a seriies. Comedian – Bob Hope.’
• Working with Barbara Streisand is pretty stressful. It’s like sitting down to a picnic in the middle of a freeway. Kris Kristoffersen,Streisand’s co-star in.”A Star Is Born”.
There are over 1000 of these “Put Downs” in this book, and I wonder how many of the persons who are quoted as the source, would love the opportunity of retracting these “biting” comments ?
Time Out for Men – Being Dependent. God blesses those people who depend only on him. They belong to the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:3)
We live in a world where Let’s pray. God blesses those who depend only on him. Do this,and Lord it’s not easy for me as a you’ll belong in God’s kingdom. man to acknoiwledge my need to depend on others. Give me the courage and faith I need to depend on you.
My Mother Always Used to Say.
• I don’t care what other mothers do ! • If everyone else was jumping of a cliff, would you do it to ? • If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. • This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you. • I told you to go before we left home.!! • Flags were made for waving, not forks. • If you lie, you’ll get a pimple on your tongue. • Don’t do as I do……….. do as I say. • Wait till your father gets home.
This list can be used in many situations and I am sure that we have been on the receiving end at one time or other. Just a few rules to live by,
International Elections – The New Way.
For the first time, our elections in our Areas for our leaders has been conducted “on - line”. What, at first, seemed to be a bit daunting, turned out to be relatively quick and straight forward. The staff at IHQ will be able to check eligibility, collate the votes and release the results more rapidly than previously. Information technology has changed, and streamlined, yet another function.
Having lodged our vote “on – line” we can expect to receive the result the same way. No longer will we have to wait for the Area Pres. or Reg. Director newsletter to receive the result. A few clicks on the keyboard, and the news is all around the world.
A Step Back In Time.
Currently, a team is working on documenting the History of Area South Pacific. This is a detailed project and, whilst the time lines of the Chartering of Clubs is reasonably well documented, reports of positions held “outside” the local Clubs is not as clear.
Those of us with long memories are slowly putting together the details of Club Presidents, International Service Directors, Regional Service Directors, District Governors, etc., associated with our former Area. This information is required up to, and including, 2016,when we amalgamated with Area Asia to become Area Asia - Pacific. Our current Regional Director, Wayne Cameron, has contacted all Clubs requesting the above information, or as much as they possess, as it all helps in filling in the blank spaces. The Committee earnestly request that the Club Historian (if one is appointed) provide as much information as possible, together with dates, to help with this Project. We have a March deadline, which is rapidly approaching, and any assistance will be greatly appreciated.
Oh - To Be Eight Again !!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again? Her eyes slowly opened, and her expression suddenly changed.
“I meant my dress size, you idiotic retard!!!”’
Great Southern Fact Find. Courtesy of “The House of Wellness”
January 26 is Australia Day. Here are some cool facts about our Great Southern Land.
• Australia is the world’s sixth largest country by total land mass. • We may not be well known for our ski slopes, but the Australian Alps get more snow than the Swiss Alps. • There’s a reason we have a reputation for dangerous critters – some of the world’s most venomous snakes call Australia home. Box jellyfish, found in waters of northern Australia, are considered the world’s most venomous marine animal. And be careful of the platypus as they too are highly poisonous. • Anna Creek Station in South Australia is the world’s largest working cattle station. With an area of 23,877 sq/km. It is larger than Israel. • The term “selfie” was coined by a drunk Aussie bloke after he took a “self-portrait” of himself on his phone. • The Great Barrier Reef is the world’s largest coral reef ecosystem and is home to a breathtaking array of animals and plants, including some that have been around since prehistoric times and have changed little over the millennia.
Just a snapshot of some of the weird and wonderful things Australians call “their own.”
Editor’s Note. It was intended that this would be a February Newsletter but, on reflection, that would have been too big a break between the last of the 2020 issues. Believe it or not, I have found some spare time and used material from other sources to fill the pages.
Let’s hope we can meet normally and enjoy each other’s company as we have done in the past. Who knows how 2021 will turnout, but, if we follow the rules, we will be fine. GPU.
TEN FUN FACTS 1. You can’t see your ears without a mirror.
2. You can’t count your hair.
3. You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.
4. You just tried No. 3.
6. When you did No.3 you realised that it is possible, only you look like a dog.
7. You are smiling right now, because you were fooled.
8. You skipped No. 5.
9. You just checked to see if there is No. 5.
10. Share this with your friends so they can have some fun too.
HAVE A NICE DAY.