Skinning the Deer: a Love Story Heather Campbell
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University of New Mexico UNM Digital Repository English Language and Literature ETDs Electronic Theses and Dissertations 7-11-2013 Skinning the Deer: A Love Story Heather Campbell Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalrepository.unm.edu/engl_etds Recommended Citation Campbell, Heather. "Skinning the Deer: A Love Story." (2013). https://digitalrepository.unm.edu/engl_etds/72 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Electronic Theses and Dissertations at UNM Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in English Language and Literature ETDs by an authorized administrator of UNM Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Heather E. Campbell Candidate English Department This dissertation is approved, and it is acceptable in quality and form for publication: Approved by the Dissertation Committee: Daniel Mueller , Chairperson Julie Shigekuni Matthew Hofer Patricia O'Donnell ii SKINNING THE DEER: A LOVE STORY by HEATHER E. CAMPBELL B.F.A., CREATIVE WRITING, UNIVERSITY OF MAINE, 2006 B.A., PSYCHOLOGY, UNIVERSITY OF MAINE, 2006 DISSERTATION Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing M.F.A. The University of New Mexico Albuquerque, New Mexico May 2013 iii Acknowledgements I gratefully acknowledge Daniel Mueller, my advisor and dissertation chair, for his encouragement, teachings, criticism, and general enthusiasm about my writing. I also thank my committee members, Julie Shigekuni, Dr. Matthew Hofer, and Patricia O’Donnell for their valuable recommendations pertaining to this work. To Ezra Meier, graduate advisor extraordinaire, for patience and support during my years at the University of New Mexico, thank you. Finally, to my family and friends, thank you for your company, your wisdom, and your love. iv SKINNING THE DEER: A LOVE STORY by HEATHER E. CAMPBELL B.A., Psychology, University of Maine, 2006 B.F.A., Creative Writing, University of Maine, 2006 M.F.A., Creative Writing, University of New Mexico, 2013 ABSTRACT This dissertation consists of a novel entitled Skinning the Deer: A Love Story. Alternating between the landscapes of New Mexico and rural Maine, the novel examines the life of tortured lesbian Hannah Huff and the brutal excision of her glorious wings—those magical appendages she grew in secret—the two downy white miracles she believed would be her ticket out of Monkstown, Maine, a desperate landscape of backwoods trailers, dogs, and family members, where her only interactions are either detached or violent. While the novel alternates between Hannah as an adult and Hannah as a child, it is first and foremost a coming-of-age story and a journey into the past to reclaim lost innocence. Inspired by the works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Dorothy Allison, and Salman Rushdie, Skinning the Deer weaves together magical realism, trauma narrative, and myth; it is a novel about sexuality, betrayal, and what we sacrifice for redemption. v Table of Contents Preface ............................................................................................................................................ vi Prologue .......................................................................................................................................... 2 Chapter One ................................................................................................................................. 24 Chapter Two ................................................................................................................................. 38 Chapter Three .............................................................................................................................. 49 Chapter Four ................................................................................................................................ 60 Chapter Five ................................................................................................................................. 70 Chapter Six ................................................................................................................................... 91 Chapter Seven .............................................................................................................................. 98 Chapter Eight ............................................................................................................................. 108 Chapter Nine .............................................................................................................................. 120 Chapter Ten ................................................................................................................................ 130 Chapter Eleven ........................................................................................................................... 144 Chapter Twelve .......................................................................................................................... 157 Chapter Thirteen ....................................................................................................................... 164 Chapter Fourteen ....................................................................................................................... 177 Chapter Fifteen .......................................................................................................................... 189 Chapter Sixteen .......................................................................................................................... 199 Chapter Seventeen ..................................................................................................................... 210 Chapter Eighteen ....................................................................................................................... 215 References ................................................................................................................................... 219 vi Preface Skinning the Deer is a novel borne of many different fathers and owing its existence to many different literary traditions. It is no exaggeration that this novel has taken me six years to write, and it is still a far cry from being polished. I have spent many hours reflecting on my writing process, trying to determine why this has been the case. It didn’t use to be that way. When I was young – we’re talking, pre-college – I was a prolific writer. When I was in first grade, I was scolded by another girl who said, “You’re hogging all the paper!” referring to the fact that, while everyone else was making one wallpaper book, I was making five. My fourth grade teacher once rolled his eyes when I passed him another twenty-page story to read. Consequently, he pawned it off on another, unsuspecting, teacher. In middle school I spent long hours perfecting short stories for which I dedicated precious time to researching, making sure all my details were correct. When I reached high school, my literary zeal had begun to dwindle, though I still churned out a few fifty page “novels” and wrote a poetry chapbook. The reason I mention these examples is that somewhere along the way, my story got stuck. It was as if reaching adulthood had lodged my story in my throat, and no amount of therapy, meditation, soul-searching, or self-medicating was going to get it out. In Karen Foxlee’s beautiful novel The Anatomy of Wings, ten-year-old narrator Jennifer has lost her singing voice. In the beginning of the novel, she and her friend Angela examine the contents of a shoebox of memories that Jennifer’s mother hid on the top shelf of the closet. Jennifer is apprehensive about the process, as she doesn’t want to get in trouble, nor does she want to dredge up the past. Foxlee writes, “It was Angela’s vii idea. She said we needed to look inside to find my singing voice. It would help me to remember exactly when and how it happened that the words lodged in my chest quite close to my heart” (2). It turns out that Jennifer’s inability to sing is connected to the death of her sister who led a troubled existence despite the fact that she could see angels. The miracle of this novel is that I found it by accident while doing a Google search for a title I was going to use for this novel: “An Anatomy of Wings.” It has been my habit, after I think of a good title, to type it into Google to see if it has been previously used. I found that it had been used, by Karen Foxlee, and that the novel she wrote was very similar to my own, concerning the relationship between two sisters - one who becomes lawless and wayward, like my own character D - and relying heavily on the imagery of flight and the existence of angels. At the same time that this book resembled my own novel, it also paralleled my emotional state, and I found myself relating to Jennifer, the girl who couldn’t sing for the life of her. It isn’t until the end of the book that Jennifer – after trying dozens of hair- brained techniques to dislodge her song, like hanging upside down, drinking from the wrong side of the cup, and following a trail of clues hidden in a shoebox – breaks into song. The moment occurs upon sight of a rare bird that circles around her three times like the repetitive movements of ritual, and flies away. This blessing causes Jennifer to admit, “and I was not so filled with fear,” as she relates the revelation that brought back her singing voice. In my case, it wasn’t a wedge-tailed eagle that did the trick. It was