o More than Kermit Schafer's 1,000 BEQ01416. BLlfdel 400 pages Indexed More than 100 cartoons WÖLof Foreword by Mike Douglas Contains the com- plete contents of The Best of Boo Ittli Bloopers All Time Great Bloopers Super Duper Bloopers and the best of Pardon My Blooper Prize Bloopers Blooper Parade Blooper Blackouts Blooper Blow Ups Super Bloopers SILVER ANNIVERSARY EDITION 25 years of Radio & TV Bloópers A TREASURY OF BROADCASTING'S MOST HILARIOUS AWARD WINNING BONERS Kermit Schafer, the international authority on lip -slip- pers, is a veteran New York radio, TV, film and recording Producer Kermit producer. Several Schafer presents his Blooper record al- Bloopy Award, the sym- bums and books bol of human error in have been best- broadcasting. sellers. His other Blooper projects include "Blooperama," a night club and lecture show featuring audio and video tape and film; TV specials; a full - length "Pardon My Blooper" movie and "The Blooper Game" a TV quiz program. His forthcoming autobiography is entitled "I Never Make Misteaks." Another Schafer project is the establish- ment of a Blooper Hall of Fame. In between his many trips to England, where he has in- troduced his Blooper works, he lectures on college campuses. Also formed is the Blooper Snooper Club, where members who submit Bloopers be- come eligible for prizes. Fans who wish club information or would like to submit material can write to: Kermit Schafer Blooper Enterprises Inc. Box 43 -1925 South Miami, Florida 33143 (Left) Producer Kermit on My Blooper" movie opening. (Right) The million -seller gold Blooper record. BOUNTY BOOKS A Division of Crown Publishers, Inc. One Park Avenue New York, New York 10016 What they say about Bloopers... "Kermit Schafer's BLOOPER collection hysterically funny." Dinah Shore "Incredible BLOOPERS" David Frost -Group W "BLOOPERS really marvelous" Mery Griffin -CBS -TV BLKdCIYÌor hoill Kermit Schafer's BLKdeLVl o Foreword by Mike Douglas Introduction by Burt Prelutsky, The Los Angeles Times Drawings by Doug Anderson Guest Cartoonist Bob Dunn Featuring the TV Blooper Girls, Illustrated by Pete Anderson Fully Indexed BOUNTY BOOKS A Division of Crown Publishers, Inc., New York DEDICATION This book is dedicated as a sympathetic tribute to members of the broadcasting industry who have been the victims of Bloopers, in the hope that it offers consolation and proof of the fact that they are not alone. To err is human, To forgive, divine. Alexander Pope To forgive is human, To err, divine. Kermit Schafer Copyright © MCMLXXIII by Blooper Enterprises, Inc., a division of Kermit Schafer Productions Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 73 -80319 All rights reserved. This edition is published by Bounty Books, a divisiondefgh of Crown Publishers, Inc. Manufactured in the United States of America CONTENTS RADIO AND TELEVISION BLOOPERS QUIZ PROGRAMS KID SHOWS SOAP OPERAS NEWS SPECIAL EVENTS SPORTS CELEBRITIES POLITICS ANNOUNCERS ACTORS DISK JOCKEYS BLOOPER GIRLS 115 BOB DUNN CARTOONS 245 INDEX 383 FOREWORD When Kermit Schafer appeared on my show I cried. I cried with joy over the funniest segment we ever did -Kermit's presentation of Bloopers. What impressed me most about Kermit's long -time en- deavor to gather broadcasting's funniest mistakes was the fact that no one is immune to these lip slippers. When they happen there's nothing to do but accept them. There's no cure for blooperitis. There is a partial remedy -tape. While tape has been great for programming, it does, hon- estly, take some of the spontaneity out of entertainment; with the unused portions of a show also goes the blooper -on to the editing room floor. Thankfully, though, Kermit Schafer came along 25 years ago to preserve the goofs of our generation for prosperity -oops! I mean posterity. To Kermit Shafer, thanks for helping us all learn to laugh at ourselves. Mike Douglas INTRODUCTION " UNBLEEPED BLOOPERS " Burt Prelutsky Reprinted from The Los Angeles Times The year 1952 doesn't seem so long ago until you realize that Truman was then President, there was a war going on in Korea, next to nobody had yet heard of Paul Newman, Elvis Presley, Arnold Palmer, Audrey Hepburn or a place called Vietnam, and Gunsmoke was still just the name of a radio show. In the election of 1952, the team of Eisenhower and Nixon trounced Stevenson and Sparkman. Frank Sinatra's first come- back was still a year off, Martin and Lewis were still hanging together and Liz Taylor was only married to No. 2, Michael Wilding. When you realize how drastically the world has changed, one way and another, during those past 22 years, the most amazing Kermit Schafer's accomplishment appears. For it was in 1952 that Schafer came up with the notion of collecting and marketing bloopers. When you think of all the fads that have come and gone during that period, it is astounding to realize that Schafer's brainstorm is still going strong after 30 record albums, a dozen books and, now, a movie, "Pardon My Blooper." The first classic blooper is attributed to Harry Von Zell. In introducing our 31st President to a radio audience, Von Zell called him Hoobert Heever. The latest, according to Schafer, was the TV newscaster who attributed a Washington rumor to "high White Horse souses." I asked Schafer how he had prepared himself for such a peculiar career. "I was a TV producer for many years. In fact, I produced TV's first full -hour musical for NBC. It starred Ray Heatherton and June Havoc, had a cast of 40 singers and dancers, and a total budget of $300. "Later, I did some work with Allen Funt. Also, I produced the Rube Goldberg Show in New York. It was on that show and not, as most people think, on Studio One, that Betty Fur- ness did the famous Westinghouse commercial in which she couldn't open the refrigerator door." I wondered if the fact that live TV is pretty much passe has made the blooper business more difficult. "Not really. I've had very good luck being able to latch on to out -takes. And because everything is taped or filmed, performers feel they can take greater liberties. They feel that if they goof or get tongue - tied, it can always be edited out." I asked Schafer whether, 25,000 bloopers later, he was be- ginning to weary of the career he had carved out for himself back in '52. "Never. It's a great life. I help make people laugh and I make a very good living doing it. What more could a person want ?" Fame? But is it enough to have been the fellow who turned slips of the tongue into a profitable way of life? What, I asked Schafer, would he ultimately wish as his epitaph? "I never really gave it any thought. My credo, however, is: To forgive is human; to err, divine." Let's face it, Schafer has gone on thriving long after such 1952 biggies as Pinky Lee, Korla Pandit, Johnny Ray and Julius La Rosa have been remaindered as trivia items. Bloopers have survived coonskin caps, blue suede shoes and even Tom Swifties. Of everything, in fact, that existed in 1952 the only things that remain basically unaltered and intact today, be- sides bloopers, are Alabama's Sen. John Sparkman, the Ameri- can Legion, What's My Line? and David Cassidy's singing voice. Viewed from that perspective, Schafer's contribution to our cul- ture and our society emerges as positively awe -inspiring. BLUNDERFUL WORLD OF BLOOPERS Hell to the Chief The best -known Blooper in my collection of unintended indis- cretions before microphone and camera is the legendary classic moment when veteran announcer Harry Von Zell introduced President Herbert Hoover in early -day radio thusly, "Ladies and Gentlemen . the President of the United States . Hoobert Heever!" Pick Me Up On New Year's Eve, Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" par- ticipated in NBC -TV festivities, which included mobile unit pickups from the Times Square area. In the spirit of the evening Johnny told his viewers, "We now switch you to 42nd Street and Broadway for a Times Square pickup." A Slip on the Ice In a recent weather report which described the snowfall in the Northwest, the announcer on KHAR, Alaska, said: "And Helena got six inches during the night ... Helena, Montana, that is!" Really Big NEWSCASTER: "Beautiful Raquel Welch has won the Inter - State Theatre Star of the 60's Award and the 1967 Interna- tional Star of the Year from Cinerama and Pacific Theatres. Miss Welch is the proud owner of two really big ones." Family Planning COMMERCIAL: "So, remember ... Goodyear four -ply rub- ber to help prevent families ... I mean Goodyear rubber tires to help your family prevent accidents!" 1 2 Blunderful World of Bloopers Horse Opera The following commercial was heard over a Philadelphia radio station: "You already know of Aquarama in Philadelphia and the fine entertainment they have there. But I want to tell you of a spectacular they are having on this coming Friday night. For the first time in history, I repeat, for the first time in history ... see a man rape a horse! Oh, my goodness! I'm sorry ... for the first time in history see a man race a porpoise ... Uncle Philsie will be there if he can make it after this." Father Knows Best At one point during the coverage of the Republican National Convention which originated from Miami Beach, Florida, a TV camera was taking candid shots of delegates who were in the audience. The camera singled out a very pregnant lady in the audience who was spotted standing directly in front of a large poster which read, "NIXON IS THE ONE!" No Comment An announcer, reading it right off the wire: "A severe storm hit Atlantic City, New Jersey, today, bringing high winds, hail, and more than two inches of rain.