MESSAGE IN THE MEANTIME In The Meantime Winter 2012 Celebrates 13 Years Black Male Masculinity MESSAGE In The Meantime IN THE MEANTIME

Men’s Group, Inc. Winter 2012 Wellness, “Creating Unity and Affirming editor and publisher Education, our Common Bond” Jeffrey C. King 4 Black Male art director Masculinity Empowerment Alan Bell by Jeffrey C. King Programs photography (Designed for Black gay, SGL, Jeffrey C. King 7 Are You a Man’s Man: and bi-sexual men) Greg McNeal • NIA (Purpose), Jen Starr Black Gay Masculinity HIV Health Education Risk Reduction Defined • Mylife Mystyle, board of directors by Carl Highshaw Homegrown Prevention Joel Byrd, M.D. Intervention/ Evaluation Garry Gregory • Throw It In The Bag, Jeffrey C. King 8 Poetry Corner Social Discussion Roger Quinney, Ph.D. Victor Yates Group, 18-29 Earl Wooten • Brothers Reaching Brothers Social 9 Conflict: OK, Fighting: No Discussion Group, by Bryce E. Thompson All ages We are the safe • Wellness for Life Black Men’s Health space where Black 10 Bongane Symposium • Umoja (Unity) 3 Day Nyathi: A Life of Empowerment Retreat gay, same gender Purpose • In The Meantime Get Message is published quarterly by Jeffrey C. King Tested, HIV rapid testing loving, and bi-sexual by In The Meantime Men’s Group, initiative Inc., P.O. Box 29861, Los Angeles, California 90029-0861, 323-733-4868, men can heal and [email protected], www.inthemeantimemen.org 14 Shape-Shifting: Community Facebook: Jeffrey KIng. celebrate community, My Journey © 2012 In The Meantime Men’s Group, Cultural Inc. All rights reserved. Toward Activities culture and wellness. The slogan “Creating Unity and Manhood (Open to All) Affirming Our Common Bond” is a trademark of In The Meantime Men’s by Kai M. Green • Annual Elders Circle Group, Inc. Views and opinions • National Black HIV/ expressed in this publication are not AIDS Awareness Day Serving Our Community Since 1999 necessarily those of In The Meantime 16 How Safe Men’s Group, Inc. Publication of the • Annual Pre-Pride name or photograph of a person does Is Travel to Celebration In The Meantime Men’s Group, Inc. not indicate the sexual orientation or • Bounce Skate Party 4067 West Pico Boulevard HIV status of the person or necessarily Jamaica? Los Angeles, California 90019 constitute an endorsement of In The • The Black Party, Meantime Men’s Group, Inc. or its by Nahshon D. Masquerade www.inthemeantimemen.org [email protected] policies. Message is designed for Anderson • Annual Kwanzaa Facebook: Jeffrey King educational purposes only and is Celebration not engaged in rendering medical 323-733-4868 office advice or professional services. Some • Anniversary Celebration 323-733-4877 fax photographs in this publication use professional models.

Winter 2012 | Message | 3 Statement from the Founder Black Male Masculinity By Jeffrey C. King

elcome to the fourth edition of Message In WThe Meantime, “Black Male Masculinity.” It is our intent to be inclusive of a variety of perspectives on the topic. MY LIFE. MY STYLE. Not unlike many Black men around the world, I too was greatly A Healthy Lifestyle Program for Young Black Men influenced by my mother. My father died when I was nine years old and my mother being a solid Black $155 in compensation upon completion of program woman loved and cared for all five of her children. She did however To participate you must: seem to focus a great deal of Identify as African American or Black attention on her three boys. She taught us that, Real Men operate Identify as male with integrity and standup for what Be 18 to 29 years of age they believe in. For more information call 323-733-4868 She was a bit ahead of her time as she talked to us about men struggling to find their balance every issue that you can imagine, in the world and it is just as strange including homosexuality. By the to see other races trying to imitate age of 14, I had already learned what they think is Black male about sex and human sexuality. masculinity. She had loving relationships Many covet the swagger of with all kinds of men, gay and Black men: our talk, our walk, our straight. She always made sure soulfulness, and our brilliance. that we had a big brother example (Don’t you love the Obama strut.) to connect with. Today, I encourage my brothers to I love being a Black man and standup and shine. It’s time to cel- In the Meantime Men’s Group understand better now why she ebrate how truly powerful we are. 4067 W. Pico Blvd pushed us to be tough, strong Los Angeles, California 90019 willed individuals, self-thinkers, Jeffrey C. King is Founder and inthemeantimemen.org | facebook.com/mylifemystylelosangeles aware of racism, and other isms. Executive Director of In The Meantime Today I see far too many Black Men’s Group, Inc.

4 | Message | Winter 2012 Are You a Man’s Man? In The Meantime Black Gay Masculinity Defined

By Carl Highshaw as much as A Man’s Man as the rugged and gully gangsta that Get Te st ed ome people see masculine hangs with his homies in the hood. Rapid/Confidential as the opposite of feminine. The white collar banker, doctor, SMy view is that the two or lawyer with his conservative HIV Testing concepts are generally different suits, ties, and shoes has just as paradigms, and neither is exclusive much potential to be a A Man’s (Results available in 20 minutes) of the other. Man as the blue collar bus driver, When thinking about the two electrician, or plumber in his concepts, as it regards how black company-issued uniform and black gay men strive to model them- boots. selves, in my opinion the phrase A Man’s Man is not defined by “A Man’s Man” is more appropri- the degree of one’s aggressiveness ate. No, I am not suggesting that A or the extent to which he takes Man’s Man is some androgynous control; rather, A Man’s Man is blend of both the male and female defined by personal character. persona. Rather, thoughts of tradi- The thoughtfulness of a man and tional or stereotypical gender roles whether or not he treats others with are much too simple when seeking a level of respect and dignity that to understand how I define A Man’s should be afforded all people is Man. key. Confidence and the degree to Call for specific times and locations What or who is the epitome which a man is secure in his own of A Man’s Man? A Man’s Man is skin—whether or not he chooses the real deal. He is someone that to accent his physical appearance 818-441-1216 is on top of his game. He is the with eye make up or other man that commands the attention cosmetics—helps to define who is In The Meantime Central of other men. He is that man that A Man’s Man. 4067 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90019 other men want to be like because A Man’s Man behaves in a his swagger is so confident. He manner that demonstrates that he is that man the other men want is at peace with himself and those 323-733-4868 to be around because his energy around him and, most importantly, helps them to feel better about his actions are in accordance In The Meantime @ Adams themselves. with what other genuinely fair and (Carl Bean House) Some of these men may honest people perceive as decent 2146 West Adams Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90018 be chiseled hard-bodied sports and respectable. fanatics, while others may be My question to you is, are you petite-bodied fashionistas. A man A Man’s Man? InTheMeantimeMen.org that routinely goes to the salon to have his eyebrows waxed and Carl Highshaw deputy director of “arched for the gods,” as my program and services at In The generation use to say, can be just Meantime Men’s Group, Inc.

6 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 7 abusive. Boxing gloves are best left in the ring! Take off the gloves Conflict: OK and hold out your hand. Conflict (drama) is a natural dynamic of a Poetry Corner Fighting: No relationship, especially intimate/ life partnerships. Conflict is a natural, organic dimension of all By Bryce E. Thompson relationships, because each person has an ego, is unique and sees Victor Yates here is this ideal in our cul- through a different lens. Contributing Author ture and many others around The gift of conflict is its Tthe world that we find love. ability to heal, transform, alter Your feminineness the absence I make for myself But this myth is how relationships and strengthen our character, start off in disillusionment. Love and ultimately cultivate the better I’m afraid of you I look for him isn’t lost, so it can’t be found. Most self and create a relationship that Your dare to be his gorgeous masculinity people aren’t lost, so they can’t be serves us and the world around You-ness you hold tight in the face of men found. And if you do “find” some- So tight it’s suggestive one, your relationship most likely You wear it like a red skirt I stare at them, his replacements won’t be what you had in mind! Straight men have been longer than at him We meet people, a few Attracted to that of whom we experience an Your feminineness its his maleness attraction to, and sometimes it I can’t the parts I’ve seen is reciprocal. It is the willingness I tell myself I focus in on to stay in the ring and do the Be like you necessary training to strengthen What if he’s the ache, deepening and grow a relationship so you You the absence I make for myself both feel like winners that makes What if a relationship work. us. It is how you resolve conflict Me things not to say to a gay man Fairytales have their purpose, that allows the relationship to thrive Hold hands down Church Street #1 but they don’t reflect the collective or die. One way to reduce conflict And a crowd of stones crowd reality of our lives. is to establish boundaries that Us I remember you It’s necessary that you become support the infrastructure (feeling Would you throw the first punch you in the punk rock wig conscious of the way you interact physically and emotionally safe) of from the Halloween fling so you can start relating more the relationship. If you don’t respect Sometimes how I find myself I told your friend powerfully and deeply for more your own boundaries, don’t expect (in the media) that girl, the one over there satisfying love and sex with your others to! oh he’s so cute partner. When you are conscious, The skill needed to be able flaming pink and blonde and she said you are able to recognize when to resolve intimate conflict is the packaged more like Barbie girl conflict has turned into “fighting.” ability to be and stay focused while not quite Ken oh he’s so gay If we fight, then we defend! This using active listening, emotional in-between them makes it difficult to open ourselves listening and spiritual listening an unexpectedness up—be vulnerable (trust). Without to learn what your partner needs that makes good folk vulnerability, intimacy can’t take you to hear and understand. This give him dirty looks root in the relationship, preventing nurtures the CORE of our being. a deeper connection. We should never fight in a Bryce E. Thompson is a psycho­ therapist and family and gay relation­ Victor Yates’ first novel is being published by AddisonCraft. He has appeared in Windy relationship—this is emotional ship wellness coach in private practice City Times, The Voice, The Catalyst, GBM News and SGL Weekly. Two of his poems ap­ abuse that sometimes leads in the San Diego area. He can be pear in For Colored Boys edited by Keith Boykin. He blogs at victoryates.wordpress.com. people to become physically reached at hisbestlifecoach@gmail.

8 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 9 his earlier years of activism and allocate resources to support how he became the leader of a HIV treatment and education in South African-based organization developing countries such as South called GLOW, Gay and Lesbian Africa and India. Organization of Witwatersrand. Bongane was taught about In 1986, his local South slavery at an early age and was Bongane Nyathi African activism expanded as inspired to move to America. he became an active member of He set off to Detroit, where he COSAS, Congress of South African lived with his uncle to pursue his A Life Students. Prior to the new South education and connect with African Africa, Bongane remembers the Americans. He remembers his cruel times of apartheid. He recalls grandparents insisting that he of Purpose a time when he and others refused watch Roots. He had a sense of to carry a pass book. It was during what it was like for Africans who this time that all Black African had been sold into slavery. He people were required to carry a was inspired that the descendants book that resembled a passport. of slaves were able to, over By Jeffrey C, King It was implemented as a way to time, become some of the most control/regulate Black African influential people in the world. ongane Nyathi returned to his homeland people living in South Africa. Black It was the winter of 1995 when of Soweto, South Africa, four years ago. South Africans were restricted Bongane arrived on the doorstep BBongane was born into the Zulu clan and, from marrying outside their race of his uncle in Detroit, Michigan. as you will soon discover, he is nothing less than as well as outside of their tribe He was a prominent Southern a true warrior. of birth, among other oppressive Baptist minister who inspired and This champion of human rights and agent restrictions. Despite being arrested supported Bongane to become a of social change has come full circle. From Africa and beaten several times by the minister. He lived with his uncle to America and back to Africa again. Bongane‘s local police, Bongane remained until he decided to move to Berkley life is one of purpose. For more than 20 committed to the issues of human and pursue a degree in divinity. years, he has been on the front rights and social justice. In Berkley, his life began to lines committed to helping, In 1990, Bongane testified change dramatically. He became a healing, educating, and at the European Parliament in student of divinity, got married, and empowering those who Brussels on the issue of gay rights fathered a child. are in greatest need. in South Africa. In a candid hile in school, he interview with Bongane ongane moved to the overheard conversations during my recent trip U.S. in 1991, after living in Wabout how Black LGBT to Johannesburg, BEurope and Amsterdam organizations were struggling to we shared a cup of under the Dutch anti-apartheid survive. One such organization at tea and he told me movement for his own protection. the time was AIDS Project East all about his life. He received support from the Bay, with which he became a Bongane admits Holland Committee on Southern volunteer while in school. Despite that for as long Africa (KZA), along with the the less-than-warm reception he as he can University of Amsterdam and the received, he realized how important remember, he’s city of Amsterdam. He continued it was to assist in bringing this challenged the to work with the African National organization to its current state. power structures Congress (ANC) underground. He Bongane volunteered to of oppression. worked with the minister of foreign facilitate groups and provide HIV Bongane affairs in Holland and managed education. The executive director at reflected on to convince the government to that time moved to Ghana, and the

10 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 11 of Black people reaching men due to the high ratio and HIV. He was The Bogane of men versus women is critical. well connected and There are venues where gay respected in the Interview men congregate where the use of local and national condoms is normal. It appears to communities, What are the major issues me that men in their 20s are more which enabled him surrounding HIV in South Africa? cautious. Many know firsthand to go where he The stigma of HIV is a major what HIV can do. Both of my sisters needed to go and issue. There are a lot of amazing became infected by their husbands. to reach those in laws that are not put into prac- Both of my sisters died leaving greatest need of the tice. People are still discriminated behind a total of five children. More services offered by against based on HIV status and than sixteen of my female cousins his organization. sexual orientation. HIV equals died of AIDS-related causes, leav- In 2009, promiscuity, an idea driven by the ing children behind. Families are Bongane’s religious fundamentalists. Whites left behind, and there is government residency in do not face the same level of assistance through social grants. the U.S. was in discrimination as blacks. The laws jeopardy because in South Africa are based on a What is your message for those of logistics with Western perspective. in the U.S. doing HIV work? his visa. He fought Although there are common With the U.S. resources, the with the assistance spaces where gay and straight numbers are not supposed to be as organization was looking for new of his then executive director and come together, the issue of ho- high. It didn’t start with Tuskegee. It leadership. After some time had others to stay, but he lost the battle mophobia is real for many South started with the colonization of Af- passed, Bongane was recruited by and returned to Soweto, where he Africans. rica and slavery, where our bodies the interim executive director. took time to refocus and collect The quality of services in did not belong to us. Why should Working alongside the execu- himself. South Africa for the treatment of I care because my body never tive director and the board of direc- HIV for whites is excellent. Urban mattered? There was no cleansing tors, Bongane was able to help oday Bongane is living out townships are challenged. There ceremony to help African Ameri- bring stability to Project East Bay. his purpose as the senior is a lack of competent staff to cans heal psychologically. The organization began to make Tpastor of the Mount Calvary accommodate the needs of the On the continent of Africa, the major moves, including purchasing Baptist Church. He has gained people. They are underpaid and psychological impact lingers on. the property where it was housed. the respect of the locals and is overworked. The minister of heath We were taught that others were Bongane recalls seeing Black committed to addressing the is pushing to increase condom better. To design prevention work gay men getting sicker, on drugs issues that continue to plague the distribution and testing. we must tap into factors of culture. and looking for something that community surrounding the church, It is my hope to develop would help them live longer and HIV, substance abuse, housing for programming that would include What matters most to you now? with a better quality of life. Men the elderly, unemployment, and outreach, education, testing, and I am in limbo. It has been were still dying in shame and literacy, to name a few. Bongane access to care. Literacy is a major four years since I’ve returned. I silence. “New energy was needed; remains committed to uplifting the concern. Materials are needed in had planned to be in the U.S. and the leadership was burned out. people around him and those who Zulu, Xhosa, and Sotho. Creating become a citizen. My body is here Our community needed more come to him for assistance. His materials for all men is a strategy but my mind is in the U.S., helping trained and skilled professionals warm and engaging demeanor was that would work best when trying developing countries. I feel that I who would be committed to the displayed once again as he took to reach gay men. Developing self- am thirty-two years ahead, where movement.” time out of his busy schedule to identified men and creating a safe South Africa has yet to develop and Bongane was ready to take show me around Johannesburg. space where men—and women— implement effective strategies. on the challenge. He dedicated can go is key. Education is critical. It is a years of his life to educating and Since returning over four years liberator. It is also important to build Jeffrey C. King is Founder and managing a focused team that Executive Director of In The Meantime ago I’ve facilitated ten AIDS-related relationships with one’s elders. was willing to address the issues Men’s Group, Inc. funerals at the church. The issue of Respect and honor your elders.

12 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 13 have also had to pay a heavy price. My journey to manhood, A consciousness that has been much like my journey through more than doubled can sometimes womanhood, begins and ends with cause mental breakdown. Often failure. I believe what Simone de changing oneself is only good Beauvoir has said, “One is not born Shape-Shifting for oneself, and while I believe a woman, but becomes one,” and I that self-worth, confidence, and think this is also true for men. self-love are essential to a good I believe we have to create My Journey Toward life, I don’t think it can end there. new pathways towards becoming We must move from being shape- men and women, but what is more shifting individuals to being shape- important than that is the work Manhood shifting communities. of becoming more fully human, We must continually focus which requires acknowledging on our self-transformations, but the humanity of others. I believe By Kai M. Green status as a state of permanence, we must also move collectively the gender binary keeps us from and I wonder if I would have taken to change the structures and liberation—so engrained in our ll we have is our body. All that leap. I wonder if jumping was conditions from which we arise. bodies, minds, our public space is we own is ourself, and we the only option for true freedom. I This is not to say that shape- the delineation between men and Acontinue to fight for that. wonder and sometimes wish that shifting is not a beautiful and women. Sometimes, it is difficult to value they all would/could have jumped magical blessing; it is to say that And usually manhood comes your life when you realize how ship. But I digress. if all we do is change our minds at the cost of some woman’s body, devalued a commodity you really So while I think it’s powerful and our bodies, then our world, our some woman’s silence, but it does are. Other times, it feels powerful to that I can determine my gender laws, our countries, our state, our not have to be this way. We need know that no matter how devalued and change my name, and with police, our prisons, our presidents, to create new people. We must your Black, trans, female, male, the right amount of money I can our politics will be neglected become new people and create queer body is, you own it and even change my body, none of as something untouchable, new systems that work for us. I’m you can and will do with it as you these things actually changes the unmovable. We cannot accept that! tired of trying to make my Black please, depending on resources— conditions under which I/we have So I was asked to write about Transboi body fit into a box (there how much money you have and been produced, Black, woman, my journey to manhood and this is no box, only punishment for not can pay to alter yourself. And of man, trans, gay, lesbian, queer, and was my conclusion: fitting)—let’s instead change the course you mustn’t be under the so on. space around us, so that it can hold control of the state as ward or I call myself a shape-shifter, us, wholly. prisoner. not because I’m trans and live I close with a quote from Black So how much am I worth? in a state of gender ambiguity feminist, Toni Cade Bambara: How do I find value in myself? Is (this is where I live, though it “Perhaps we need to let go of it all about self-investments? That might not be how the world all notions of manhood and femi- makes me feel like a real capitalist sees me). I am a shape-shifter ninity and concentrate on Black- and I am no capitalist. because I have entered and hood. We have much alas to work learned how to penetrate some against. The job of purging is stag- hape-shifting is a powerful of the most exclusive white gering. It perhaps takes less heart thing. Shape-shifting is the spaces and I haven’t been thrown to pick up the gun than to face the Sability to change oneself. out yet; instead I have been task of creating a new identity, a I want to have self-determination embraced. Perhaps they (school self, perhaps an androgynous self, economically, politically, and administrators, teachers, school via commitment to the struggle.” socially, which for me includes psychologists) believed I’d be an gender self-determination. ambassador for how good the white Kai M. Green is a spoken word poet and filmmaker. A Ph.D. candidate at I think about Maroon societies world and people could be if we just the University of Southern California, and the Africans who jumped ship gave them the chance to save us. Kai is currently writing his dissertation before ever reaching their slave But for all that I have been given, I on Black LGBT lives in Los Angeles.

14 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 15 y family just kept telling Downtown, people were obviously me to be safe. My friends heading home from work, some just Msaid they wouldn’t go to milling around, listening to music a homophobic place—said they and talking, so I did the same and didn’t need to go to see how just inhaled and exhaled. I felt safe they would be treated. Well, I’m and comfortable, and was very different. I like to experience things happy I had decided to make the for myself. late-night journey. In June, I made the trip, Jamaica was quite a journey, filled with anticipation. I couldn’t but visiting Bob Marley’s home and remember being this excited since learning more about him made me my trip to Egypt in 2008 for my have a deeper respect for him and 30th birthday. Visiting the island of his timeless music. We traveled Jamaica had been a lifelong dream. up into the hills. The view was I love the Jamaican culture and so beautiful all you could see for have several Jamaican friends. miles and miles and miles were I landed at Norman Manley more mountains and clouds. I was Airport, where I was picked up getting used to the Jamaicans by a driver. We rode through saying “yah man, yah man, no downtown Montego Bay around 9 problem, everyting going to be all p.m., and the city was extremely right.” festive—very dirty, but festive. I was so excited I wanted to ride checked out of the room and on the hood of the car as if it was headed to my first resort. I was a parade! Why? Because I had Ithere for three nights and met arrived safe and sound in Jamaica! a nice lesbian couple from Philly This was a big deal for me, and I who kept me company. While at soaked it all in; folks hanging out the resort I rested, ate, partied, on corners eating, drinking, talking. played, flirted, swam, relaxed, and All the negative feelings I once had had a real good time. I went to a soon disappeared. The excitement local club on Thursday night and I was experiencing just on the got dressed up. I’m a cross dresser, ride alone made me realize that and when dressed up men believe I I was in for a real treat. I couldn’t am a woman. help but stare at the Jamaicans I was so excited upon arriving as we drove throughout the city to at the club with my group from Bethel House, where I stayed for the resort. I got to go in free, as it How Safe Is two nights—nothing fancy. I chose was free for ladies, and I couldn’t to stay outside the more touristy possibly tell them I was male—they areas because I like to get a feel wouldn’t understand. of what’s going on with the locals. Upon entering the club and Travel to Jamaica? Later, I would head to the resorts. heading upstairs to the dance floor, I settled into my room and I met a young man who followed decided to go for a little walk me around for a while and was very (Hint: It Worked for Me) around the neighborhood; it was aggressive with me. He kept telling By Nahshon D. Anderson about 11 p.m. After that, I just me how much he liked me; he kept Photo by Jen Starr, Make-up by Manu couldn’t go back to my room, so trying to dance with me, but I was I grabbed a taxi and headed into uncomfortable because he believed the city to get some sugar cane. I was a woman. At one point I had

16 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 17 to leave the dance floor because that I should go there. I found out that led to another spot to party. So he was getting too close to me. Of more about gay life and gay culture I went up there. course, he followed me. So then I from heterosexuals than I did from I saw a man and a woman, decided I would try to see where homosexuals. and as I was leaving the guy ap- his mind was. We started chatting proached me and asked, “What and I asked him how he felt about he next day, I went to Ocho team are you on?” I said I wasn’t an homosexuals. He said he didn’t Rios. I arrived there and got athlete. And he said, “I know you’re feel one way or the other; he didn’t Tcomfortable in my room. not.” Then he said, “Are you a dyke care as long as they respected Restless as usual, I decide to go or a gay?” I told him I was male him. Then I asked him if he knew or for a horse ride. I jumped on and and then he told me it was OK. He had heard of transvestites or cross the horse handler, Dante, took said he was bisexual and in the dressers. He told me he watched me for a special ride through the entertainment community. He said Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, neighborhood. I was on the horse, a lot of the gays were in the New and asked me if I was one of them. riding through the area, wearing for the night. I got dressed up Kingston area. By then his female I said yes. I said I was born male a baseball hat, jean shorts, and a and headed downstairs, where companion came back over, and I but liked to dress up as a woman T-shirt, and locals were just staring. entertainers were performing The left and went back to my room to often. He asked about my genitalia, Some said hello, and some men Lion King. get a couple of hours’ sleep. Then and I told him I had male parts. He were flirting. The horse ride was Later that night, I met another I waited for my driver Mackenzie to said he didn’t care, he liked me. We beautiful and eventful. Dante also engineer. He approached me, and take me to the airport. chatted longer and then decided to took me by the beach and we we chatted, and after that we both leave and head back to my resort. snapped pictures of the horse ride. went our separate ways, or so I his trip was educational, re- Well, let’s just say I woke up the I was full of laughter, excitement, thought. I headed to the nightclub, laxing, adventurous and ex- next morning extremely satisfied and joy, as I had not ridden a horse and he was there too. I ordered Tciting. I felt so accomplished that my trip was becoming more in over 20 years. Back at the resort, a drink, and then sat outside. He and felt so relieved to know that I than what I expected. I had dinner and cruised around. approached me and we talked could venture to Jamaica again and I decided to dress up again It was Sunday night. Boy, was I in for a while. Then I told him I was feel safe. To know that I was wel- that night. In the casino, I met a for a show—laughter, dancing, heading to my room, and he asked come to enjoy myself meant more an employee of the resort, an fireworks, and tons of alcohol. This if he could come by. He came in to me than anything else. engineer. He walked by, then went resort was way better than the first and we talked for a while longer, From my personal experi- to talk to another employee. I went one I stayed at, with much more and I told him I was not a female. ences, I feel that Jamaica is much outside and was relaxing when he entertainment. He didn’t care; he was inquisitive more tolerant and accepting of walked by and spoke to me. We and opened up and told me stories gays than others would have you chatted, and then my lesbian friend y last day at the resort, of all sorts of behavior that went on believe. Jamaicans are no more or came over and he soon left. Later Monday, I had breakfast at the resort. It was very shocking. less homophobic than any other that evening, I met him in the bar Mand then went horseback After a while, I shut my curtains country. Homophobia is a world- area. We chatted, and I told him I riding again, this time on a trail and massaged him for a while. Oh, wide problem; you can’t just say was going to have a broken TV and and in the ocean. I had dinner another happy night in Jamaica! one country is more homophobic that I was going to need him to fix overlooking the beach and the without having lived there or visited. it. He laughed. We went and sat by moon, very romantic for couples. he next day, I headed to Go see for yourself, but when you the swimming pool and had long My waiter was cute, and I couldn’t Negril, a three-hour trip. My venture out make sure you are conversation. He said he wanted resist asking him where all the Tfirst full day I packed a lot respectful of their home. It was to walk me back to my room; I big bamboo was. He said it was in. I went on a motorcycle ride and money well spent, and I’m happy nodded in agreement. We got to all around and that maybe I was toured the area, went to legendary to know that I was able to edu- my room, and I invited him in. He overlooking it. He said he was Rick’s Cafe, and to a club the cate some and contribute to their said he had “big bamboo,” which I happy I sat at his table; he was last night I was there. There economy; I would do it all again. was eager to find out more about, flirting with me and he asked me if I were female strippers and tons but we just chatted some more. He would come back to the restaurant of men and women just enjoying Nahshon D. Anderson is a transvestite told me there were plenty of gay after he got off. It was still early, themselves. The party was on a and cross dresser who lives in Los men in the New Kingston area, and and I went to my room to prepare rooftop, where there were stairs Angeles, California.

18 | Message | Winter 2012 Winter 2012 | Message | 19