Innovative Ideas for Celebrating in an Interfaith Home
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
A NEWSLEHER BY AND FOR JEWISH-CHRISTIAN FAMILIES volume three, number one August/September 1994 Innovative Ideas for Celebrating in an Interfaith Home nterfaith families can't help but create you find other sources and samples that DOVETAIL'S rituals. Frequently, sometimes help get your creative juices flowing, to Editorial Advisory Board unwittingly, Jewish-Christian couples send us a brief review, so that we can develop ceremonies and day-to-day share your finds with other DOVETAIL IRWIN H. FISHBEIN rituals that fit their special family readers. Director of the Rabbinic Center situation, using as a foundation their As a follow-up to our last issue on for Research and Counseling, two sets of traditions, heritages and Westfield, New Jersey adult children of intermarriage, our memories. When families are conscious Personality Profile features the story of LESLIE GOODMAN-MALAMUTH Co-Author of Between Tivo Worlds: about their ritual-making, they can a U.S. Senator raised in a Jewish- Choices for Grown Children of deepen relationships and forge lasting Christian home. Maine's Senator Jewish-Christian Parents linkages for generations to come. William S. Cohen, who now considers LEE F. GRUZEN Rituals help families make sense of himself a Unitarian, grew up in Bangor Author of Raising Your jeivishl their lives. The symbols we use—a with a Jewish father and a Catholic Christian Child: How Interfaith prayer, a song, a special food—enable mother. The story of his experience as Parents Can Give Children the Best of Both Their Heritages us to find meaning or mark important he prepared for a bar mitzvah will PETER K. MEEHAN transitions. For interfaith families provide much food for thought for Pastor of St. Emeric's Church, especially, the consistent and repeated concerned clergy and interfaith parents. New York; use of home rituals can help weave a The story of another Jewish-Catholic Co-Author of Happily Intermarried: solid and unique family fabric, full of union opens an Opinion piece by a Authoritative Advice for a Joyous Jezvish-Christian Marriage color and texture. British rabbi who has worked extensively When creating your own family with intermarried couples in England. JOHN WADE PAYNE Pastor of Park Avenue Christian rituals, it is especially important to be The vast majority of DOVETAIL'S Church, New York; clear and open about what you are readers are North American, and we •'• • Co-Author of Happily Intermarried: doing. Both children and extended hope that you will enjoy a perspective Authoritative Advice for a Joyous families will benefit greatly from from another part of the world. Jewish-Christian Marriage discussions of why you've chosen to For further clues into the demograph• BRUCE ROBBINS have a special Friday night dinner or ics of DOVETAIL readers, stay tuned in General Secretary, General Commission on Christian Unity how you decided to celebrate Christmas coming months as we compile the and Interreligious Concerns, and Hanukkah separately. results of the reader survey in our last United Methodist Church The authors in this issue's Forum issue. If you haven't yet returned your ROY A. ROSENBERG section have spent a great deal of time survey, it's not too late! • Rabbi of Temple of Universal and energy developing rituals with their Judaism, New York; interfaith families. Two women—one Co-Author of Happily Intermarried: IN THIS ISSUE Authoritative Advice for a Joyous Jewish and one Catholic—share their Forum: Creating Innovative Jewish-Christian Marriage experiences and insights, offering a Rituals 2 ANDREW S. WATSON number of specific ideas for families who Book Review 6 Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry & are working to enrich their own ritual life. Resources: Prayer 7 Professor Emeritus of Law, Many families find that the develop• Personality Profile: University of Michigan ment of meaningful rituals is easier Senator William Cohen 8 when they have written examples to Membership on DOVETAIL'S Editorial Opinion; Intermarriage in Britain ... 10 Advisory Board does not necessarily imply consider. The Resource section contains Bulletin Board 11 endorsement of the articles and opinions a list of useful books of prayers to use as expressed herein. Letters 12 a starting point. We encourage you, as FORUM Creating Innovative Rituals in an Interfaith Home LAYA TAMAR As I helped one interfaith couple school eased the transition into is a licensed create a naming ceremony in which incorporating a blessing before each clinical social their son was given a Hebrew name, meal within our home. "Earth who worker and a we needed to find a way to honor gives us this food. Sun who makes it certified Life-Cycle this child's Jewish lineage as well as ripe and good. Dear Earth, Dear Counselor and Sun, by you we live, our loving Guide. She lives in his Irish Catholic ancestry. Even Boulder, Colorado. though this family had agreed to thanks to you we give. Blessings on raise their child as a Jew, both the meal!" parents also wanted to feel that With time and the reawakening of hen I began my family, I their respective families were being my connection with Judaism, it was was a non-practicing Jew acknowledged and had a place in easy to begin to substitute for the W(except for a strong nudge their son's life. The common Waldorf verse a Hebrew brucha— that came at the High Holidays, ground where this couple met was HaMotzi Lechem min HaAretz (bread Passover and Hanukkah) married to a nature—each felt a sense of awe and of the earth) or Borai P'ri HaAdamah non-practicing Christian. When we wonder and a love of the natural (veggies growing in the earth). had our son, I knew that I had to world. So, while the naming cer• Other families have chosen to have him circumcised with the emony we created incorporated incorporate a moment of silence Jewish ritual of a brit milah cer• several Jewish prayers, Hebrew emony. With my ambivalence songs, and family stories about the DOVETAIL'S mission is to provide a chan• about my Judaism, and with a mohel Jewish grandfather for whom the nel of convmunication for interfaith couples, (the person who performs the ritual child was named, there was also an their parents and children. The more families can share their ideas, experiences, resources, circumcision) who related to my emphasis on nature. This was a gift and support, the more they can make peace in son's father as a non-entity, I was that together each partner could their homes and communities. Jewish and left after the ceremony with a series commit to sharing with their son. Christian perspectives can dovetail. of painful memories. Since that Another key element in this Believing that there are no definitive answers difficult time I have become an naming ceremony was the inclusion to the questions facing interfaith families, active part of the life-affirming, of extended family and friends, who DOVETAIL strives to be open to all ideas and opinions. Editorial content attempts to joyous, and inclusive Jewish Re• served as a community to be present balance and respect the perspectives of both newal Community. With what 1 and witness this rite of passage. Jewish and Christian partners in interfaith now know and have experienced as With space for offerings of sponta• marriages, as well as the diverse perspectives neous blessings, this family felt of parents and children of interfaith couples. I have returned to Judaism, the Inclusion in DOVETAIL does not imply en• ceremony for my son's brit milah surrounded by the love and support dorsement. DOVETAIL accepts a thought• would have been very different. I of the important people in their ful and constructive discussion of all related understand now the importance of lives. issues in the Letters to the Editor section, and reserves the right to reply. being an active participant in the In creating rituals that feel alive creation and implementation of and honor our transitions, it is DOVETAIL (ISSN 1062-7359) is pubUshed family rituals. important that we speak honestly bimonthly (6 times per year) by: Dovetail when I help a family create a and pay attention to what is awak• Publishing, 3014A Folsom St., Boulder, CO ceremony, we look at what tradition ened within us, regardless of the 80304; (303) 444-8713. has to offer and the teachings source of the awakening. Sending DOVETAIL welcomes your comments, letters, and suggestions. Please send them to surrounding a given life passage. my son to a Waldorf school ben• Joan C. Hawxhurst, Editor. And we also look at what meaning efited me as well as him, by helping A one-year subscription is available for $24.99 this event has within the life of the me grow in my spiritual life and from the above address (Colorado residents particular family. This is true practices. Within the Waldorf please add sales tax). International subscrip• whether we're talking about an community, ritual is a very impor• tions are $35.00. Single issues are available for interfaith family or a family where tant part of the life of the school— $4.50 each. both parents are of the same reli• from the celebration of the festivals DOVETAIL welcomes article submissions gion. Especially for an interfaith to the daily blessings which honor and letters to the Editor. Send query or completed manuscript to Joan C. Hawxhurst, couple, a ceremony will truly serve the rhythms of the day and help Editor, at the above address. We look for• both partners only when it is nourish a sense of awe and wonder. ward to hearing from you. inclusive of their individual as well Adopting a verse at home that the Copyright © 1994 by Dovetail Publishing.