12 Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Meet the couples taking on Pennsylvania’s marriage ban By Jen Colletta The 5-year-old was conceived through in- “It’s exciting to start thinking about it.” ceramics. [email protected] vitro, with Ferlanie carrying him. Once he For so long, Donato said, it was a thought The couple registered as domestic partners was born, both women had to legally adopt that didn’t seem possible. with the city in 2002, in part as a means of On June 9, the trial will open in the first him as part of second-parent adoption, to “For so many years, [getting married] was demonstrating their relationship to Gillem’s legal challenge to Pennsylvania’s ban on ensure they would both be legally consid- just scratched off the list of things that were employer. same-sex marriage. While the case will ulti- ered his parents — another byproduct of the likely to happen. So you didn’t even let your- “We had domestic-partner benefits at the mately be fraught with legal terms and con- state’s ban on marriage equality. self think about planning, about where you university since the early ’90s, but unfortu- stitutional arguments, the issue of marriage “I had to go through the whole process of would go, what you would wear, those fun nately some of the benefits were not being inequality in Pennsylvania is ultimately a adopting my child, even though he was my things,” she said. “But I’m an optimist. I do offered to us because the health-insurance story about the lives and loves of same-sex biological child,” Ferlanie said. “We had to think it’s going to happen in Pennsylvania, I company didn’t offer domestic-partner ben- couples and their families. have home visits by social workers, write do see myself marrying Sandy. And I see it efits,” she said. “So when they finally started The American Civil Liberties Union’s essays, get fingerprinted, get recommenda- happening soon.” that, they wanted some proof that we were Whitewood v. Wolf case has assembled 25 tions, medical exams. It was a lot.” domestic partners, so at that point we for- plaintiffs — 11 same-sex couples, two of The process took more than 10 months to Angela Gillem and Gail Lloyd malized it with the city.” their children and one widow — to repre- complete and, during that time, Donato was Philadelphia They began talking seriously about mar- sent our state’s LGBT community. Plaintiffs technically a legal stranger to her son. Together 18 years rying after last summer’s overturning of the come from all corners of the state and “For 10-and-a-half months I just prayed federal ban on same-sex marriage. myriad backgrounds, and all have taken to God that nothing happened to Sandy,” In the fall, Angela Gillem and Gail Lloyd “Especially as we get older, we’re going unique paths to arrive at a common truth: Donato said. “Because if it did, I would spent a weekend in Washington, D.C., tour- to be taking care of each other, so it became Pennsylvania’s ban on marriage equality is have had no rights to my son.” ism museums, biking and an all-encompassing impediment that pre- The couple said they worried about how dining — and finished their vents certain Pennsylvanians from living as to explain the procreation issue to Henry but getaway by tying the knot. free and respected citizens. said that conversation was much easier than The couple married in a small Here are the stories of two of the plaintiff they’re finding the marriage-equality talk to ceremony Nov. 15, surrounded couples taking on our state’s inequality. be. by Lloyd’s mother and brother “Kids understand things in simple ways. and Gillem’s brother. Their Sandy Ferlanie and Christine Donato He says to himself — not in these words path to marriage began nearly Swarthmore — but, ‘Parents who have children and who two decades ago at the party Together 18 years of a mutual friend — although their relationship took some When Sandy Ferlanie was time to develop. diagnosed with breast cancer “We were introduced and I last year, her prognosis wasn’t was just totally taken by Gail,” ANGELA GILLEM AND GAIL LLOYD the only thing on her mind. Gillem said. “It was like I’d Ferlanie has been with her been introduced to a movie star, I was so even more important,” Gillem said. “Last partner, Christine Donato, for impressed. She was so gorgeous and I was summer, we planned to update our wills nearly 18 years but, because the just awed by her. The way she just moved and powers of attorneys to make sure every- couple is not legally married in around the party, it was like she’d taken over thing was in order, and our personal attorney their home state, Ferlanie wor- the stage and was working the room; I just strongly recommended we go ahead and get ried that they would encounter thought she was so cool. So it was like love married now that we could get federal ben- complications as they traversed at first sight.” efits and that level of recognition.” her diagnosis together. SANDY FERLANIE AND CHRISTINE DONATO Lloyd remembers the interaction a bit dif- They spent the weekend touring D.C. and “It was really scary,” Ferlanie ferently. had a Monday ceremony with their fam- said. “It was a time in my life when I needed have families love each other and make a “I was definitely not a movie star. I’m ily, followed by dinner before driving to Christine the most and I had to worry about, commitment and get married. My family afraid I might have disappointed my beloved Philadelphia that evening. What if I ran into somebody — a physician, has two loving parents raising me, why can’t because I’m not the cool chick she thought I The couple said they intend to have a larger a nurse, somebody at the admissions desk they get married?’” Donato said. “His ques- was,” she joked. ceremony and reception in Pennsylvania — who wouldn’t let her up to see me?” tions made me feel so guilty, like I didn’t Lloyd said she was under the impression when marriage equality is sanctioned here Fortunately, the couple said the staff at have a good-enough answer for him. Finally, that one of her friends was interested in — “We’re gonna party like it’s 1999,” Lloyd Pennsylvania Hospital, where Ferlanie I just said, ‘We’re not allowed to.’ ‘Allowed’ Gillem, so she kept her distance that night. joked. spent more than eight hours in surgery, were is something kids understand. And I felt so The pair ran into each other two years “We decided that until Pennsylvania accommodating and accepting. powerless. ‘We’re not allowed to.’” later at a book signing at Giovanni’s Room recognizes our marriage, we didn’t want “We were very lucky to be in a great city While some same-sex Pennsylvania cou- and began seeing one another a few months to have a big ceremony. It would feel like and a great hospital,” Donato said. “During ples have tied the knot in other states, when later. They celebrated their 18th anniversary something was missing,” Gillem said. “But a time like that, you have so much anxiety they return to the Keystone State, their mar- last month. there is a piece now that feels sad; the fact and then you walk into the hospital and have riage is not recognized by our government. While the couple connected in that it was a small ceremony with just three to be thinking, OK, do I have all the forms That, coupled with all of their family and Philadelphia, they learned they come from people there to witness our marriage does with me that say I have rights to see her and friends living in this area and with each hav- the same area; Lloyd is from D.C. and feel a bit sad.” to make decisions on her behalf? We were ing an ailing parent, and Ferlanie and Donato Gillem grew up in Arlington, Va. Lloyd Despite the bittersweet nature of the wed- treated very well, but the anxiety of not decided to wait to wed until marriage equal- moved to Philly in 1979 to attend art school, ding, the couple said that having a legal mar- knowing if we were going to be treated well ity becomes a reality in Pennsylvania. and Gillem in 1986 for a previous relation- riage certificate did draw them closer, which was terrifying.” While that time isn’t here yet, they have ship. they found surprising. Ferlanie fully recovered from surgery, started imagining what their wedding day The couple now lives together in Chestnut “It really does make a difference in ways completed chemotherapy last summer and would be like. Hill, in a house they bought and rehabbed that are hard to articulate,” Lloyd said. “I her hair has grown back. “We have a big soccer and baseball field more than 15 years ago. completely adore Angela but after we got “Things are pretty ordinary right now,” at the end of our street and we’ve joked that Gillem, 61, teaches counseling psy- married, I somehow felt even closer to her. she said. “Ordinary is good.” we’ll just use the field for a day, have food chology in a graduate program at Arcadia I don’t know how to describe it; I always Ordinary entails Ferlanie’s work as a catered and a dance floor and DJ and throw University and operates a private practice thought our relationship was solid, but it nurse in the drug-safety field and Donato’s a petting zoo in for the kids,” Ferlanie said, in Chestnut Hill, while Lloyd, 55, who has somehow felt even more solid. It deep- as a pharmaceutical consultant — and most noting that the couple likely would hold a worked in the film/video industry for nearly ened my commitment to her. I now wake importantly, their roles as parents to their wedding ceremony in their local Episcopal two decades, is now refocusing her atten- up, look at her and it’s like, ‘Wow, we’re son, Henry. church, of which they are active members. tion on the art field, with a concentration on married.’” ■ 14 Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Keystone State outlook

FEDERAL COURT Register of Wills Hanes to compel him to stop issuing marriage licenses to same- Whitewood v. Wolf: A suit filed by the sex couples. Hanes appealed to the state American Civil Liberties Union on behalf Supreme Court. of 11 same-sex couples, two children and a widow claiming due-process and equal- Ballen v. Wolf: Several-dozen same-sex protection violations. Attorney General couples who received licenses from Hanes Kathleen Kane and Gov. Tom Corbett sued for recognition of their marriages. have been removed as defendants; Health Kane and Corbett were removed as defen- Secretary Michael Wolf is the primary dants, with Wolf serving as primary defen- defendant. The case will come to trial before dant. U.S. District Court Judge John E. Jones III on June 9. Cucinotta v. Pennsylvania: Paoli resi- dents Nicole and Tamara Cucinotta sued the Palladino v. Corbett: Philadelphia resi- state for recognition of their Montgomery dents Cara Palladino and Isabelle Barker, County marriage license. legally married in Massachusetts, are requesting the state recognize legal same- COUNTY COURT sex marriages performed out of state. Baus v. Gibbs: Bethlehem resident Barbara STATE COURT Baus sued after being hit with an inheri- tance-tax bill after the passing of her wife. Department of Health v. D. Bruce Hanes: Looking For Wedding The state sued Montgomery County Services Unlike Any Other? ’s Wedding Services Directory can help you plan for a special day that is as unique as you are.

ADVERTISERS: CONTACT YOUR PGN AD REP AT (215) 625-8501 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 15 SCOTUS ruling caps a momentous marriage year

By Jen Colletta into account or through legisla- ing is seemingly that states can these eventually, and some of Union opens June 9 in Harrisburg. [email protected] tive actions many pundits contend do whatever they want as long as them are moving surprisingly fast. Similar to the strategy employed were bolstered by the SCOTUS they’re not violating federal law, The Supreme Court doesn’t have in California, this case will head The past 12 months have seen decision. which says sex discrimination is a to take the cases but I think they’re to a trial, so that the arguments, a sea change in the marriage- This year, federal judges over- bad thing, so the gender of a per- going to have to, once we start see- on both sides of the issue, can be equality landscape: The number turned marriage-equality bans in son shouldn’t affect marriage. So ing however many states saying aired publicly and on record. of marriage-equality states has Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and I think the reason we’re seeing so it’s unconstitutional, others saying “The ACLU has cleverly nearly doubled, the nation’s top Texas, and two others ruled that many of these out of federal courts it is constitutional and others stay- decided to have a trial on this, to court dealt a tremendous blow to bans in Kentucky and Ohio do not is that they’re directly apply- ing silent. They’ll need to clarify really get into all those articulated the federal ban on same-sex mar- prevent the states from recogniz- ing Windsor to say, ‘The federal soon enough,” Rosenblum said. reasons, to say, ‘Give us your riage, and rulings continue to pour ing same-sex marriages performed proof that this is about child-rear- in taking aim at state marriage- legally out of state. “I think the reason we’re seeing so many ing or protecting kids’ or what- equality bans. So what do the next Appeals are pending in those of these out of federal courts is that ever they’ll put forth as a defense. 12 months bring? cases. There’s some real power in having At this time in 2013, marriage The Windsor decision played a they’re directly applying Windsor to say, that discussion, and not just filing equality was sanctioned in nine role in all of those cases as well, motions. They’ll really be get- states and Washington, D.C. One said Mazzoni Center legal director ‘The federal government gave the states ting into the question of what the year later, same-sex couples can David Rosenblum. the chance to do the right thing, but defense is based on. Once you get now wed in 16 states and D.C., “When the Windsor decision into those nooks and crannies, you and that number will reach 17 this came out, we thought the federal what you’re doing violates federal law.’” see it’s a house of cards. So I’m summer when Illinois’ law goes government was getting out of it expecting a good ruling.” into effect. and saying it’s up to the states, Even with a favorable ruling, How quickly that number contin- but what’s coming out of these government gave the states the “But so far, we haven’t even got- the case will certainly be appealed ues to grow could be traced to last cases in federal court is they’re chance to do the right thing, but ten a split in the cases: Each case and likely stayed as the case wends summer’s Supreme Court ruling saying that Windsor goes beyond what you’re doing violates federal has said this is unconstitutional its way through the federal courts dismantling the federal Defense that,” Rosenblum said. “They’re law.’” and there’s no rational basis, other and potentially to the Supreme of Marriage Act. Following the saying that there is a higher fed- But, the Supreme Court will than pure animus. And that’s not Court. historic finding in June, four states eral law that says we have to treat ultimately have to weigh in with how we make laws.” Rosenblum cautioned couples (New Jersey, Hawaii, Illinois and people equally, the equal-protec- a definitive voice on the constitu- And Pennsylvania will soon heading to other states to wed New Mexico) mandated marriage tion clause. The same sort of thing tionality of state marriage bans, get its own day in court, as the to make sure they consult with a equality, either through court rul- happened with interracial mar- Rosenblum said. federal trial in the case brought legal professional first to consider ings that took the Windsor case riage. What these cases are say- “They’re going to have to face by the American Civil Liberties all of the legal outcomes. ■

www.bgproonline.com • [email protected] • 215-435-1418 16 Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Wedding Get tips of the trade at local Craig Bierman and Fred Kogan LGBT wedding expo By Angela Thomas than the Big Apple when they stumbled By Jen Colletta About 30 exhibitors will be on hand for [email protected] upon Philadelphia, ultimately moving here [email protected] the Bucks County event — including pho- in 2001. tographers, ceremony and reception venues, For two South Philadelphia residents, “A good friend of ours was already liv- Marriage equality remains elusive in the DJs, officiants, jewelers and transportation Valentine’s Day offered more than flowers ing in Philly and when we visited her, we Keystone State — but that hasn’t impacted companies. Lawyers, Realtors and fertility and candy. instantly fell in love with the wealth of local LGBT-friendly wedding clinics will also be represented. Craig Bierman, 54, and the city,” he said. “We are vendors eager to lend their skills to same- Most couples who turn out are in the Fred Kogan, 50, of East so happy living here with sex couples planning to take the plunge. throes of wedding planning and benefit Passyunk, got married Feb. all the city has to offer.” Dozens of such vendors will be on hand from the personalized attention the vendors 14 in Delaware. Despite the Keystone for the seventh annual Bucks County LGBT are able to provide, compared to some of the Bierman, originally from State lacking marriage Wedding Expo, 12:30-3:30 p.m. March 30 other big-box wedding expos. Elizabeth, N.J., and Kogan, equality, as the movement at Sheraton Bucks County Hotel, 400 N. “These couples are usually very seriously who hails from Cleveland, took on speed in the region, Oxford Valley Road in Langhorne. in the planning stages and love the personal are both teachers at Bierman decided to pop The event is staged by Rainbow Wedding time with each exhibitor,” Puechl said. “This Friends Select School in the question, and did so Network, which has produced more than is set up in a boutique-style, so rather than Philadelphia. The pair met KOGAN (LEFT) AND casually while the couple 100 expos in 25 states since its 2003 incep- running through and grabbing free stuff, in 1992 in New York City’s BIERMAN lounged around the house. tion. The North Carolina-based group began couples are invited to stick around and min- West Village and have been Kogan said that, after 21 with just one event per year and now hosts gle.” together for 21 years. years, they already felt like about two dozen annually. Most couples do spend the full three The couple said they met by chance when they were married. Co-founder Marianne Puechl said the hours at the venue, she said, largely owing Kogan, who was working at Saks Fifth “I feel like people are coming up to us event has been evolving with to the environment it fos- Avenue, attended a happy hour at a now- now saying, ‘What it is like being a new- the rapidly changing mar- ters. Despite the growing defunct bar called Uncle Charlie’s. lywed?’ and we’ve been together so long, riage-equality landscape. acceptance for marriage “I was the first one to walk up to him and it has been great all the way through,” he She noted that events in equality, Puechl said, it’s start a conversation and we had a long con- said. “Going back to 21 years ago, the com- states that recently sanc- difficult to find a similar versation there and that night we talked for ing-out process was intense then and it is so tioned marriage equality atmosphere at mainstream three hours,” he said. “I thought he was just different now. Everyone is excited and I am often see big boosts in atten- trade shows. a nice, regular, normal guy — no drama and glad to see a change in the .” dance, but that states with- “Way back in the day, seemed a lot like me.” With marriage equality not an option in out marriage equality have we said we hoped we’d Kogan said that, over the years, he and Pennsylvania, the couple decided to get also been boasting high eventually work ourselves Bierman learned that respect was an impor- married in New Castle County, Del., which attendance rates. out of business but, as far tant component of a successful relation- began allowing same-sex marriage last “We generally have even as marriage equality has ship. year. stronger attendance in come in the past decade — “I think being honest, caring for each “We thought it was interesting to get mar- states where marriage rights and it’s amazing how far other, listening to what the other has to say ried in America’s first state and in the first haven’t yet been granted, it’s come — I think there’s and not controlling the other person — that county. Also, Delaware has tax-free shop- like in Texas, Florida and an event we had still a need for shows like ours in the longer seems like the major elements,” he said. ping,” Kogan joked. here in Raleigh,” she said. “In these areas, term,” she said. “Our couples come in and During their more-than two decades The couple drove down with two friends couples may feel that much less secure in feel totally comfortable, totally accepted. A together, the pair talked about marriage, but as witnesses and were married by a justice reaching out to wedding professionals, so lot of them may be in a place where they ended up moving to Pennsylvania before of the peace on Valentine’s Day, exchanging having this resource available takes that can’t still tell their family comfortably or New York adopted marriage equality. rings and vows in a simple ceremony before awkwardness out of the picture.” be out at work safely, so to be able to walk “Our original plans were we would get hosting a cocktail reception later for friends A show held in January in Jersey City had into a ballroom like this, where you don’t married whenever we were living some- and family. a great turnout, Puechl said, which could be have to translate yourselves or answer ques- where that legalized same-sex marriage. Now that they are legally married, Kogan partially due to the Garden State’s recent tions like, ‘Which one of you is the bride?’ When we lived in New York, they didn’t said there is a sense of security to the title. addition to the marriage-equality list. Bucks or ‘Are you brothers?’ is exciting. We see legalize it. Then we moved to Philly and “We are both protected now in a lot of County’s close proximity to New Jersey couples come in and they just breathe a sigh New York does it and every state around us ways. If we have our health, we will have a may also fuel attendance at the local event, of relief.” started legalizing it.” lifelong relationship. We are soulmates and she added. The event is free and open to the public. Kogan said they had been looking for a it gets better year to year. I think it is amaz- The expos on average bring in about 450 For more information, visit www.samelove- “more manageable and affordable city” ing to be able to say he is my husband.” ■ guests, she said. samerights.com. ■ NEVER GET INTO A COLD CAR AGAIN ****REMOTE STARTER SPECIALS***

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Before the Bells Jen Colletta The proposal LIMITED EDITIONS Before the Bells is a new monthly col- same decision months before and popped umn chronicling the wedding-planning the question on our six-year anniversary UNLIMITED LOVE process for a same-sex couple, drawing on last April. While she said she had consid- the writer’s ongoing experiences to offer ered going whole-hog with a flash-dance practical advice on everything from select- proposal, she opted instead for a simple ing LGBT-friendly vendors and venues to proposal that involved just us: After hiking making sure your celebration, no matter in Wissahickon Park, we had lunch atop a how large or small, stays true to the love hill overlooking the park, and she asked if I you share with your partner. This column thought I’d want to marry her. I replied “of won’t presume to serve as a how-to guide course,” and she followed up with “How for all couples —as marriage means some- about today?” holding out the ring. While thing different to each couple that heads my proposal thunder was stolen, all that down that path — but rather as an explo- mattered was that the question was asked, ration of how this one couple’s journey and answered. unfolded, and the do’s and don’ts they’re While we’d long talked about getting learning along the way. engaged, I don’t think either of us was pre- pared for the immediate change it had on While the “I do” on your wedding day our relationship. After six years, we were may be the culmination of months, or even quite accustomed to being a couple, but years, of planning, another word is almost suddenly being an engaged couple made equally important: “Yes.” things different. We weren’t just “girl- When you or your partner decides to friends” any longer; saying “yes” quickly Every Langhorne Carpet is a carpet of caring , woven from the pop the question, and the other accepts, as illuminated our future, an intimidating, yet much as it sets a new future in motion, it exciting, transition. finest wools on Jacquard Wilton looms in our historic Bucks also affirms your past, and so that moment While we were unsure how to follow should embody who you are as a couple up the energy of the engagement, our first County mill. Wedding commissions by appointment: — a mantra that needs to be remembered thought was to tell family and friends. throughout the wedding-planning pro- Some we called, some we visited. And 215.757.5155 cess. Some couples get casually engaged, after ensuring all of our immediate fam- deciding to take the plunge after hearing ily members and close friends were in www.langhornecarpets.com about the latest state to sanction marriage the know, we told everyone else through equality. Others may be the subjects of the Facebook. While that sounds trite, the growing number of viral, over-the-top pro- function of social media in today’s digital posal videos. Regardless of your method age shouldn’t be underestimated. Platforms — large or small, formal or informal — like Facebook can be useful tools in the what matters the most is the joint commit- coming-out process; posting pictures or ment contained in the word “yes.” chronicling your relationship with your But getting to that point may be a bit partner on social media is an informal, different for same-sex couples. While the casual way of sharing your life with loved onus for popping the question is usually ones without the pressure of a sit-down, on the male in heterosexual couplings coming-out speech. Likewise, sharing your (although we cheer those ladies who next step in this way gets the news out take the reigns!), same-sex couples don’t without pressure, especially for those who have to follow such norms. Couples can may have folks in their lives who aren’t approach the topic jointly if the “surprise” supportive. But, what we saw was an over- factor isn’t important to them (which may whelming level of support — and we were be especially true for couples who’ve had particularly impressed by the number of decades-long relationships before the mar- people, from childhood friends to former riage-equality movement starting gaining teachers, who offered their congrats. Just speed) or one partner can take the lead. as many of us may have been pleasantly In my case, my partner, Ashlee, was the surprised to see red equal signs on some one who took the lead on most steps of of our Facebook friends’ pages throughout our relationship — initiating a conversa- last year’s U.S. Supreme Court case, the tion, formally asking me out, saying the social-media response to our engagement first “I love you” — and we had jokingly was heartening. talked about how she’d likely have to be But, ultimately, what was most impor- the one to propose. So, after nearly six tant was the confidence we both had in years together, I planned to counter her our decision. Getting engaged can be an expectations by planning my own proposal. overwhelming experience that brings one’s I’d picked when and how I was going to life into sharper focus — but, as we saw, do it and had just begun saving for a ring believing in ourselves and our relationship but, unbeknownst to me, she had made that makes every step of the journey easier. ■

4JODF 1(/ 1IJMBEFMQIJB (BZ/FXT )0/&45:t*/5&(3*5:t130'&44*0/"-*4. 18 Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Minneapolis isn’t always in a polar vortex By Scott A. Drake [email protected]

Two things usually come to mind when Minneapolis is mentioned: cold and the Mall of America. And that’s if you remem- ber the mall. There is a third item that comes to mind for some of us, but we’ll get to her later. If cold weather is an issue for you, don’t go in the winter. It’s that simple. Getting around downtown when it’s a blustery -20 degrees isn’t impossible once you get downtown; there are about 8 miles of elevated walkways connecting just about everything across about 70 square blocks. But for spring, summer and fall, this is an under-appreciated Northern city. A SMALL SEGMENT OF THE MINNEAPOLIS SKYLINE (LEFT) AND A MISSISSIPPI RIVER VIEW OF THE STONE ARCH BRIDGE, The locals hype MoA and its array of THE GUTHRIE CENTER AND THE MILL MUSEUM Photos: Scott A. Drake stores and indoor amusement park and good metro transit system of buses and prominently present and the rest of the city also on the skirts of the district, only one all that, but it’s not an essential stop. The light rail too, which is an excellent thing is looking squarely into the future. Today, block from the Mill Museum, and we were only thing you really need to know about because, quite honestly, whenever we got the downtown has some of the most strik- lucky enough to catch a world-premier the- the mall is Tuesday is kids’ day. So if you in our rental car we got lost. This isn’t a ingly beautiful new architecture around. atrical rock concert — “Moon Show 143” want to go shopping (or need to go shop- Penn-planned city and it almost makes the But Minneapolis was once the largest mill — while there. This was just one event of ping, like one member in our wedding District of Columbia’s layout make sense. city in America and that alone brought several happening that night at the Guthrie. party who conveniently forgot shoes and Advice: ALWAYS ask for directions before thousands of workers to grist mills and Note, there are many diverse places in the just had to go buy some), hit the downtown you go. many thousands more across the state for area for pre- or post-show dining also. Nicollet Mall, a blocks-long stretch of construction of the vast rail We enjoyed an early supper shops and eateries that segues nicely into So what’s gay in Minneapolis? system needed to transport across the street from the the theater district. grains and products country- Guthrie at Spoonriver (750 We were fortunate to get an excellent Well, marriage, for one. Hundreds wide. S. Second St.; spoonriver. rate at the centrally located Hotel Ivy of LGBT couples have been married in All that makes the Mill com), where they use locally (201 S. 11th St.; thehotelivy.com), so we Minnesota since it passed its marriage- City Museum (704 S. grown produce in season and, were able to walk and cab to many of our equality law. A number of those marriages Second St.; millcitymu- if you’re cooking while on destinations. Minneapolis has a pretty are people who crossed the line, as it were, seum.org) a must-see. vacation, they have a farmer’s from Wisconsin and Illinois — the lat- Overlooking the mighty market on their site season- ter of which has recently Mississippi, the museum tells ally every Saturday. joined the fray. In fact, the history and connectivity A MEMORIAL STONE Guthrie is a multi-floor Minneapolis former Mayor of the grain, the mills, the IN THE SCULPTURE complex encompassing two Raymond Rybak made a city and the river. Interactive GARDEN theaters and a studio, a res- bit hit with local gays as displays are fun and there are taurant, several bars, a lounge the law was being debated plenty of photographs and artifacts to keep and an impressive view of Stone Arch by offering to marry any you more interested in flour than you ever Bridge (stonearchbridge.com) over the couple at midnight when thought you would be. There is an optional Mississippi River. It’s a former railroad the law was signed. (See tour and if you time your visit right, the bridge with 23 arches, popular with bik- sidebar.) Additionally, in on-site baking lab will be in full swing ers, runners and river walkers. You can 2011, The Advocate hailed and you can learn more about the annual also tour the entire mill area, river, walk- Minneapolis as the gayest Pillsbury Bake-off. ways, etc., via Segway Magical History city in the United States. Tours (magicalhistorytour.com) and in Minneapolis is like some Endless art and nature just a couple of hours cover 12,000 years temporal anomaly on the of Minnesota and Mississippi River his- Mississippi River where a A most pleasant surprise for us was tory and learn about how and why this lot of the city’s past is still the vast array of theater, and dance city came to be the largest mill town in options for a county of just under 400,000. America — and have fun doing it. Hennepin Avenue is the hub of the theater dis- trict, with grandly reno- vated showpieces like the 1921 Historic Orpheum Theatre and the Pantages Theatre, to name a couple. While the dis- trict is generally around Hennepin, it doesn’t have finite boundaries as evidenced by the two orchestras that perform on the opposite end of Nicolett Mall. “SPOONBRIDGE AND CHERRY” BY CLAES OLDENBURG (LEFT) AND AS Guthrie Theater GENERALLY PHOTOGRAPHED BY SCULPTURE GARDEN VISITORS (guthrietheater.org) is ONE OF THE INTERACTIVE MINIATURE GOLF HOLES LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 19

The art-museum It has a free First Saturday program also, you can still go online and order their Holy scene is also thriv- and locally headquartered Target sponsors Trinity Gift Box with Sublime Hot Cocoa ing, dynamic and Target Free Thursday nights from 5-9 p.m. with house-made marshmallows, their diverse. Case in Check it out and while you are there hit the secret Rib Rub (aka amazing Bloody Mary point: One after- café, bar or restaurant on site and enjoy the Rim), plus a big 1-pound jar of Legendary noon we played terrace or if the weather is off, one of the Peanut Butter, which holds a special status seven holes at one indoor lounges. in hell. of two interactive The sculpture garden is one of the Best of all, many of the best reci- miniature-golf nation’s largest and it’s a must-see. pes are published in the “Hell’s Kitchen courses adjacent From the city’s iconic sculpture, Claes Cookbook,” which someone thoughtfully to the Walker Oldenburg’s “Spoonbridge and Cherry,” purchased for my birthday. Art Center (1750 to Cowles Conservatory, there are more Think brunch should always have unlim- Hennipin Ave.) than 40 sculptures in this 11-acre park. If ited mimosa? Lush. and Minneapolis you like the Philadelphia Museum of Art’s No, seriously. Lush (990 Central Ave. Sculpture “Iroquois” by Mark di Suvero, then make NE; lushfoodbar.com) is the hot spot for Garden (walker- sure you check out his “Molecule” and weekend brunch and not just for those art.org/garden). also Brower Hatcher’s “Prophesy of the KEN KIEFER (SECOND FROM LEFT) MARRIES KEN ZALEWSKI Let’s back up a Ancients,” a cousin to our own “Ancient ON A PADDLE BOAT ON THE ST. CROIX RIVER AT STILLWATER. second. Yes, inter- Garden 1990” at Ninth and Walnut streets. At the very least, plan to spend part of a active miniature If it sounds like you could spend the day exploring the river area and parks. As golf. This means you get to use swing- better part of a day just in this part of mighty as the Mississippi River is, it is also ing objects, your feet and foosball soccer town, you’re right. But there is also The quite captivating this far north. A point of paddles to help or hinder your opponents. Museum of Russian Art (tmora.org), interest to check out is a statue of the city’s Uncontrollable laughter is apparently one billed as our country’s largest collec- namesake Minnehaha in Minnehaha Park of those obstacles also. tion of Russian artifacts, photographs and near Minnehaha Falls. It’s a lovely spot to The Walker Art Center is a vast space memorabilia. Not as impressive as we had stop for a packed lunch or just to relax. that offers many different areas to explore. hoped, but we still found a stunning glass ornament for our Christmas tree in the gift shop. Check out their special exhibitions “I want to marry you in Minneapolis” for subject matter that may suit your tastes. Another museum recommended by By Scott A. Drake “Before we started, we realized just the locals is the Minneapolis Museum [email protected] doing the math that we would have to of Arts (2400 3rd Ave. S.; artsmia.org) find a way to streamline each service and with its fine photograph collection includ- Former Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak make it personal so it wasn’t like a con- ing Margaret Burke-White, Dorothea crisscrossed the Upper Midwest to cities veyer belt of love,” Rybak said. Lange and Richard Avedon, and a prints like Chicago, Madison and Milwaukee in Staff interviewed each couple, gath- and drawings collection with the likes of mid-2013. Why? It is relatively easy for ered unique aspects for each and cre- Francisco de Goya, Piet Mondrian, Ernst LGBTs to hop over the border and legally ated a briefing book with each couples’ Ludwig Kirchner, Jasper Johns and Roy tie the knot, that’s why. details — who had a combined 746 years Lichtenstein to name but a few. The slogan “I want to marry you in together. Minneapolis” is at the top of the ad- There was one couple that Rybak said Eat, drink, repeat campaign blitz that so far stretches into was the most remarkable. Detroit and Denver, but Rybak says that Two women, both actors, one deaf, met Dining spans the spectrum in going to Texas and “stealing the gay-wed- when the second was hired to do the voice Minneapolis and spills over into much of ding business from Rick Perry“ is in the for the first woman. Rybak’s personaliza- the surrounding area. This is not a town to near future. His point was that if a same- tion was about “giving voice to love.” start a diet in while on vacation. But then sex couple wants to start a business and “As I read the vows and told them to what city is? Biscuits and gravy? Check. enjoy the rights of everyone else, which repeat after me, they signed it to each Pan-seared trout? Check. Fried pickles? state would they prefer? other. And in the entire atrium, you could Check. Sushi, pizza, salmon tartar, pasta During the Minnesota marriage-equal- feel it, feel them all freeze, as these bar — you name it, they eat it. ity bill-writing process, Rybak told us he extremely expressive actors motioned Ask any local where an LGBT-owned or HELL’S KITCHEN ENTRYWAY (TOP), shouted out at a rally, “If this thing passes, their love in a way that you could only -friendly restaurant is and you’ll get a few LUSH EXTERIOR AND ON THE come down to City Hall and I will marry think of the phrase ‘You complete me’ in different answers, but I guarantee you’ll ROOF OF BRIT’S PUB you” without thinking. He this powerful way,” Rybak hear about two. Hell’s Kitchen (80 S. said a close staff member’s said. “That was one of the Ninth St.; hellskitcheninc.com) is likely mimosas. The food is crazy-good and, eyes got huge and said, “I’d most powerful moments I to be the first one mentioned because it’s depending on the season and the weather, better call the office and can ever remember because open almost 24 hours a day. (I say almost they open the 20-foot-high garage doors prepare them.” it just physically said what because they close for about two hours in and you can enjoy the beauty of the day True to his word, when everyone was thinking at the wee-early hours to regroup.) from inside or out. Yes, garage doors. Lush the first day to legally that time.” The brunch menu alone has more than is an unassuming converted gas station- marry in Minnesota rolled Shortly after that mara- 50 items, many vegan, however I can per- slash-garage bar and not only does brunch, around, Rybak performed thon, Rybak then married sonally recommend the maple-glazed bison but also weekday lunches. a wedding ceremony in the the police chief and her sausage and the shrimp and crab cake with At night, it’s a bar as gay as it gets with City Hall Rotunda, with the partner, and believes he was poached egg. Lunches and dinners can the usual DJs, dancing, karaoke some first “I do” being uttered at the first mayor in America be the evening experience without a film nights and drink-special options. Mostly midnight. to do so. When asked if or show. Don’t be surprised if the house a younger crowd, but everyone feels wel- Then, he did 45 more. there were any plans for a special of the day is kangaroo or alligator. comed. And if your dabber is getting itchy, He performed 46 weddings one-year anniversary event These guys don’t break for anything. there’s a room to play Bingo in every in fewer than eight hours in the city, Rybak laughed. Besides the fabulous in-house creations, Saturday night. — walking down, back up and stand- “We hadn’t thought about that, but I’m like a four-cheese mac and cheese that A great happy-hour spot we found is The ing on the top of the steps of the Capitol sure, before I blurt it out again in public I leaves every other recipe in the dust, they Saloon (830 Hennepin Ave.; saloon.com), Rotunda every time. better talk it over first.” ■ also make their own mustard, peanut but- where there is quite an interesting crowd ter and ketchup. And when you get home, on the weekends, to be PAGE 20 20 Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 LGBT WEDDINPGN G ISSUE

MINNEAPOLIS from page 19 more for Minneapolis in the 1970s sure. The place is packed to the than the Twins and Vikings have walls on Sunday nights for the since. In tribute, there is a bronze Try shower contest. Use your imagi- MTM statue on Nicollet Mall. She’s nation. And then push it up a not hard to find, but you can ask any Wedding notch. This is one hot event. local where to go. A block away is The Gay 90s While you’re in that area, stop (gay90s.com) and gay it is. This into Brit’s Pub (britspub.com). Services six-bar complex includes the Weather permitting, you can play Happy Hour Bar (which opens at bocce on the roof. Yep. The roof Directory 8 a.m.), 90s Bar, Dance Annex, is almost completely covered with Men’s Room, Retro Bar and La grass and several games can be Femme. We spent the better part played at once. Reservations are Ads of a Saturday night there drink- recommended for this. While you ing, playing darts, eating, watch- wait, down a pint or two at a nearby in PGN. ing a drag show and generally table and check out the skyline. If just having a blast. it’s winter or rainy, you can pop Make these two stops for sure. inside for afternoon tea or a scotch CONTACT YOUR PGN by the fireplace. A gem of a place AD REP AT Oh, Mary! and we went twice. (215) 625-8501 Remember that third thing Minneapolis is a lot more than we Minneapolis is famous for? Yes, expected. I expect on our next visit, everyone’s favorite “Oh Lou!” THE AUTHOR WITH THE MARY TYLER we’ll learn even more. And probably girl, Mary Tyler Moore, did MOORE STATUE Photo: Micheal Ward gain another pound or two as well. ■ WWeddingedding ServicesServices DDirectoryirectory

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300 East Evesham Road Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 856-429-4300 [email protected] /WoodcrestCountryClub /WoodcrestCC LGBT WEDDINPGNG ISSUE Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 23 Same-sex marriage battle is simply history repeating itself Regardless of the year, June 26 is a date effect in the fight for same-sex marriage to live together if one was Caucasian and Supreme Court’s finding that the federal that LGBT Americans will never forget. equality, stating that its state constitu- the other African-American. Similar to DOMA was unconstitutional under the On that day in 2003, the Supreme Court of tion “forbids the creation of second-class Windsor, which took down DOMA, the Fifth Amendment in Windsor in June was the United States found Texas’ anti-sod- citizens” when its top court determined ruling was the tipping point that states simply history repeating itself. In the nine omy laws unconstitutional in Lawrence in November 2003 that same-sex couples needed to remove their anti-miscegena- months that have followed, federal courts v. Texas and, 10 years later, the top court had the right to marry. The Supreme Court tion laws from the books. Since the fall of in state after state have found state-level gave us another huge victory when it ruled could have jumped on the marriage-equal- DOMA, four states (New Jersey, Hawaii, same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional. that Section 3 of the Defense ity train at any point in the Illinois and New Mexico) have legal- As of this publication, 33 states ban same- of Marriage Act was unconsti- decade that followed but chose ized same-sex marriage, while four others sex marriage (with Michigan presently tutional because it violated our not to hear cases that touched (Utah, Oklahoma, Virginia and Texas) have being heard in court), but within three Fifth-Amendment rights. on the controversial subject. stayed rulings to allow same-sex mar- years of Windsor, I believe the Supreme It was a palpable moment Similarly, the Supreme riage, pending appeal. These appeals that Court will have decided the matter at the where our government vali- Court had its chance to stand conservative lawmakers think are going national level, just as it took three years to dated and deemed equal the on the right side of history in to prevent marriage equality from “invad- get to Loving. love shared between two people 1955 when Naim v. Naim was ing” their states are merely delaying the You’d think with 50 years of inflation it in the LGBT community. But appealed, but it chose not to inevitable, and it’s these appeals that will would only take one year’s time, but again, the tears of joy have long since hear the case, as it would force ultimately bring the matter before the this is simply history repeating itself. dried, the rainbow flags have them to make a decision on the Supreme Court for a final decision, just as There are multiple marriage-equality law- been folded and put away and controversial subject of inter- Loving v. Virginia did for interracial mar- suits currently making their way forward here we are in Pennsylvania Out Law racial marriage. Han Naim and riage in 1967. in Pennsylvania, the first of which will still waiting for our state to Ruby Naim were an Asian man The Supreme Court heard arguments most likely be Whitewood v. Wolf, sched- acknowledge us. I don’t know Angela and white woman from Virginia in the case of Loving, where an African- uled for trial June 9 in Harrisburg. I know about you, but as state after Giampolo who were wed in North American woman and Caucasian man it’s only three months away, but hopefully state (TEXAS?!) begins to stand Carolina, where the anti-misce- were sentenced to a year in prison for mar- this will be worth the wait. ■ on the right side of history, my patience genation laws only prevented Caucasians rying one another. The Supreme Court for Pennsylvania is wearing thin. Yet, as from marrying African-Americans, as unanimously found Virginia’s and all Angela D. Giampolo, principal of we look back 50 years ago to the not-too- opposed to Virginia, which prevented all other states’ anti-miscegenation statutes Giampolo Law Group, maintains offices in distant past, the timeline for same-sex interracial marriage. A year later, when unconstitutional under the equal protec- Pennsylvania and New Jersey and specializes marriage is shockingly on par with that of they went to divorce in Virginia, the state tion clause of the 14th Amendment to the in LGBT law, business law, real-estate law the anti-miscegenation laws overturned to didn’t recognize their marriage in the first Constitution. The ban on interracial mar- and civil rights. Her website is www.giam- fully legalize interracial marriage. place and they were wedlocked — stuck in riage was overturned. pololaw.com and she maintains two blogs, It was once illegal for someone to a marriage because their home state didn’t Just as McLaughlin marked the begin- www.phillygaylawyer.com and www.lifein- marry a person of another race in almost recognize it in the first place. Sound famil- ning of the end for institutionalized rac- house.com. Send Angela your legal questions every state in the country. Anti-misce- iar? ism via anti-miscegenation laws, the at [email protected]. genation laws had their roots in colonial The same occurs today in Pennsylvania America, and by the early 20th century, and many other states that don’t recognize they were the norm throughout the South same-sex marriage. I have clients that were and Midwest and on the West Coast. An married in Canada when they first legal- 1883 ruling by the Supreme Court in Pace ized marriage equality and didn’t research v. Alabama put an African-American man the residency requirements for divorce, and a white woman in jail for two years for only to find themselves in the same situa- having a sexual relationship, and this con- tion — wedlocked until Pennsylvania rec- tinued to be the legal precedent for decades ognizes their union, or having to move to to come. But, responding to rising oppo- where they got married for six months to a sition to the racial inequalities caused by year to meet the residency requirement and World War II, California in 1948 became then get divorced. Neither were particu- the first state since the 19th century to larly helpful options 50 years ago, and they overturn its anti-miscegenation statute. certainly still aren’t today. Slowly, over the next decade, many states As more states legalized interracial mar- with similar bans outside of the South riage, the Supreme Court finally dipped overturned their anti-miscegenation laws its collective toes in the waters of change on the grounds that they violated the equal- in 1964, when it unanimously ruled in protection clause of the 14th Amendment. McLaughlin v. Florida that two unmar- Massachusetts similarly started the domino ried people of opposite sexes were allowed

LETTERS from page 11 of my little exercise in composition? Very [Mahjoubian], I was somewhat astounded simple: We can call Mark a pain in the by the response. Micah, whom I expected ass, a pushy Jewish faggot (his words, not to be the calm voice of understanding mine), a grandstander, the devil, etc. You and reason, was a bit agitated and Mark can call him anything you want, but this turned to me and said, “I understand, but community, young and old, needs to take the WWCC still needs to be involved.” notice that this city would not be the num- I was grateful for the positive response ber-one rated city in the country for LGBT and understanding. I will say that, as to Americans if not for the many years of myself (not speaking for any member of work by Mark Segal. Was he alone? No. the board), I never doubted the ability of But Mark is still standing and still fighting, Mark to make this happen from the first and I personally am profoundly grateful to day I heard about it. My tour of the build- have this pushy pain in the ass on my side. ing proves those abilities to me, as it should ■ to everyone else. — Jeff Sotland What does this tell us? What is the point Philadelphia LGBT WEDDINNEWPGNSG ISSUE Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com March 7-13, 2014 25 Local stars in new marriage campaign

By Angela Thomas “My character was a role model to a lot of young girls [email protected] and boys who found comfort in the way she grew and came out,” she said. “She was authentic and honest and A new marriage-equality initiative was launched on I think people could relate to that vulnerability and inno- Valentine’s Day and features among its cast an actor cence.” with Philly ties. Graham said working with LGBT supporters like She4Me was launched through Marriage Equality Christian and the rest of the cast made for a positive USA as a public-service announcement to advance edu- working environment. cation about marriage equality nationally. “We were all there because we believe in marriage She4Me features the song “She,” which was written equality. It’s an amazing feeling to come together and performed by Jen Foster. The video focuses on two for something so important,” she said, noting that she women who are a soon-to-be-married couple, aiming to believes the initiative has the power to help people CHRISTIAN (LEFT) AND GRAHAM use music as a way to “wrap minds around issues of con- evolve on the issue of LGBT equality. “It’s fun and sexy, science.” which I love, but there is also this beautiful story that influence and importance and the ability to create aware- She4Me, which was directed by Nicole Conn, fea- you can’t help but be moved by. I think these are the kind ness. Music and media can make people want to pay tures former Philly resident Jessica Graham as a mem- of initiatives that can really change the minds of some of attention. Music is a universal language everybody can ber of the bridal party, along with Gabrielle Christian, the people who are against marriage equality.” understand and there is something powerful in that.” of lesbian teen drama “South of Nowhere,” and Nicole Christian added that the media can be an important For more information on Graham, visit jessicagraham. Pacent, from LGBT mini-series “Anyone But Me,” as tool in the LGBT-rights movement. com or follow her on Twitter @deconstructjg. the couple. “Media has so much power and Hollywood reaches For more information on She4Me, visit www.she4me. Graham moved to Philadelphia when she was 18 and people all over the world,” she said. “We have so much org. ■ lived in Center City before settling down in Fishtown. She moved to at 24 but continued to work on Philadelphia-focused films, including “2 Minutes Later,” directed by Robert Gaston, and “Tremble and Spark,” directed by Kelly Burkhardt. WWeddingedding SServiceservices DDirectoryirectory Graham identifies as bisexual and said her own coming-out process was relatively smooth. “My dad had a hard time with it, but he got over it really fast,” she said. “I remember the day I knew he had become comfortable with me having a girlfriend. He gave me a framed painting of two women playing a harp in a somewhat sensual way. The card said that he loved me no matter what. He actually had a hard time when, eight years later, I started seeing a man.” Graham said playing the lead role in “Antigone” helped build her confidence and ability to pursue fur- ther performances. Graham got involved in the Philly theater scene in 1998. “I started acting when I was fairly young and that always kept my head above water,” she said. “Three years ago, I decided it was time to get some real train- ing. I am now about to graduate from a three-year Meisner technique program. It has been life-chang- ing and my creative toolbox has a lot more variety now.” Graham volunteered for Theater Catalyst and co-founded The Eternal Spiral Project while in Philadelphia. She said she hopes to be cast in a big production in Philadelphia so she can spend some time doing theater back in the area. Graham was approached to be a part of She4Me a few days before filming and said she had always admired Conn’s work ever since she saw her “Claire of the Moon” as a teenager. For Christian, whose family has Philly roots, She4Me helped channel a sort of closure for her “South of Nowhere” work, as her character had just graduated from high school as the series ended, and in this role she was able to play an out adult. “I just felt that it was a cool thing to explore as an actor because the show was about [Spencer’s] com- ing-out process and we never saw her evolve as an adult and that was a cool closure to explore,” she said. Christian said being able to reach millions of LGBT young adults through her work on “South of Nowhere” has been one of her most rewarding acting experiences.