GAY JAPAN A ManAboutWorld Insider Guide JAPAN: EVERYTHING IS AN ADVENTURE o best understand Japan, you should fly there on a Japanese airline. The pleasantness is stunning, and while you first notice it in the professional and gracious crew, it is not because of them. It is because of the high ratio of Japanese pas- sengers. An ancient culture of conformity, respect and ritual has begotten a modern culture of people who are unusually respectful, orderly and polite. There’s even an animated in flight video on JAL, demonstrating good flight etiquette, in- Tcluding things we’ve never done, like alerting the passenger behind you before reclining your seat. It sure makes for a pleasant cabin (as did the extra humidity and oxygen of the air on our 787 Dreamliner — that’s another story). But these same cultural forces are the ones that stunt the liberation of the Japanese LGBT community. They are at the heart of every internal Japanese conflict, an amplified expression of the conflict we all experience between holding on to the past, and growing into the future. It shouldn’t seem so foreign to us. But it does. And that’s the heart of any Japanese adventure. From its earliest interactions with Dutch and Portuguese traders, Japan has kept foreigners at a distance. And yet its rituals of hospitality are unrivaled in their intricacy and graciousness. For western travelers, a visit to Japan opens windows to both the past and the future. This is easily visible in the juxtaposition of tourist staples like tea ceremonies and bullet trains. And it’s even more striking in the less visible: Japan’s struggle to maintain its unique cultural identity in our increasingly globalized world, and its historical reverence for group welfare above individual interests. These unusual characteristics of Japanese society challenge us to reexamine our own perspectives, prejudices and place in the world. A tourist visit to Japan is filled with unique sights and sounds, tastes and experiences. Some are well-known, like the ancient temples and shrines of Kyoto. Some, like many of the dishes we enjoyed at kaiseki dinners, remain a mystery, even after digesting them. Japan is at once ancient and modern and truly foreign, in ways that are challenging and thrilling for visitors, even jaded well- traveled ones. And though you may not have even heard of it, the Buddhist temples and cemetery at Mt. Koya deserves a place on any serious or spiritual traveler’s bucket list, one of the most spectacular places we’ve ever visited. While the language barrier, customs and cultural divide can be daunting for independent visitors, the tourist infrastructure is well -developed, efficient and highly organized, with help available at every turn, usually in English. The Japanese are proud of their culture and history, and eager to share with foreigners. Tourist crime is virtually non existent. As New Yorkers, the current male fashion trend of large wallets, half- tucked into back pockets was unfathomable to us, and yet in Tokyo, perfectly safe. The world wide ubiquity of taxi rip offs doesn’t happen here (although taxis are so expensive, it hardly matters). Ours is not a comprehensive guide to Japan, but a guide to experiencing the highlights that most appeal to a modern gay trav- eler. Whether you are traveling in a group or on your own, your experience in Japan will be greatly enhanced by doing some preparation and research in advance, and we will guide you to the recommended resources you’ll need to enjoy visiting this magnificent country, whether you choose to follow our itinerary, or plot one of your own. CONTENTS 1. GAY JAPAN: THE OPEN CLOSET 2. YOUR JAPANESE ADVENTURE: PLANNING RESOURCES 3. GETTING THERE/GETTING AROUND 4. TOKYO 5. JAPAN TOURING HIGHLIGHTS: BEYOND TOKYO 6. OUR RECOMMENDED JAPAN ITINERARY + HOTEL/DINING RECOMMENDATIONS 7. THE RYOKAN EXPERIENCE 8. YOUR LOST IN TRANSLATION EXPERIENCE 9. TEN THINGS TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO GO CREDITS 1. GAY JAPAN: THE OPEN CLOSET 1. GAY JAPAN: THE OPEN CLOSET Japan’s cultural and social norms and rituals are often inscrutable, and its attitudes around homosexuality are no exception. Although it’s changing (with all the speed of a striking snail), Japanese society places much greater emphasis on group identity and values over personal expression, and most Japanese will go to great lengths to avoid embarrassing their family, company, community and country. Sexuality — homo or hetero — is considered a private matter. It’s not flaunted in public displays of affection, or discussed. We got the impression that many gays here were even reluctant to discuss why it’s so private, lest we somehow think less of them or their country. Professional pressure to conform is also great: employers favor the stability of men in traditional family structures, and with their career advancement dependent on it, many gay Japanese fill those expectations publicly, compartmentalizing their sexual orientation and activity, often comfortably within a heterosexual marriage with children. Homosexuality is legal in Japan, and small protections for gays and even transgender people have been enacted, mostly on a local level. The homophobia that exists is not based in political or religious demonization, but in ignorance and the general disapproval for deviating from the family structural norms. While liberated westerners may chafe at this personal repression, the Japanese are quite stoic about it. In a culture where women’s equality is still hard to picture, gay social progressives are resigned to slow but steady change. Japan’s first gay Pride parade occurred in 1994, has only been produced sporadically since and attracts just a few thousand participants. But Japan’s gay activists are determined, and travel providers within Japan are just starting to recognize the gay travel market. As openly gay travelers (who used the word husband, but didn’t hold hands in public), we felt completely com- fortable and welcome, and that our openness itself might help move the needle of acceptance and understanding in tiny but significant ways. A gracious xenophobia for foreign visitors, much of the local gay life is not just hidden, it’s inaccessible. Tokyo has hundreds of gay bars, but only a handful welcome foreigners. Examining all the reasons why offers great insight into Japanese culture. Although they are rarely signed anymore, there are still many “Japanese Only” establishments (not just gay places). We heard many explanations during our visit, and have surmised three main components: 1. The Language Barrier This is obvious, but also misleading, covering a multitude of issues. The bartender isn’t just there to transact your bar order. He is a gracious host, expected to make conversation and introductions. A language barrier makes it impossible for him to do what is expected. And while most younger Japanese have studied English, their education is more grammatical than conversation- al, and many are too embarrassed by their poor command of the language to speak it — even in the face of our obvious and laughable inability to speak more than 10 words of Japanese. 2. The Cultural Divide Japan remains a highly ritualized and ordered society, with a history of enduring ignorant, disrespectful and unruly visitors and occupiers. While modern Japanese are overwhelmingly tolerant of our cultural differences, our lapses in protocol can some- times still shock or insult. Many traditional guesthouses have extensive instructions for things like “bathing etiquette,” but other Japanese businesses find it easier to simply discourage foreigners. 3. The Closed Circle Most of Tokyo’s numerous gay bars are tiny, accommodating less than a dozen patrons, who come not to meet new people but to hang out with their friends. The bars, often vanity businesses purchased with an inheritance, are almost an extension of the owner’s living room. Could this all be masking deep- seated racism or xenophobia? Maybe. But the haltingly polite refusal to serve us in these bars made us feel otherwise. When we feigned ignorance of where we would be welcome, we were personally escorted to a foreigners’ bar amidst excited discussion of how much our momentary guides loved New York. And we’re sure had we asked them to join us for a drink, they would have gladly. A NOTE ABOUT TATTOOS Traditionally associated with the Yakuza, or Japanese mafia, tattoos can be problematic for visitors to Japan. You may be refused entry into public baths, pools or health clubs. Covering them with bandages may be even worse, as that may imply communicable disease. The best practice is to ask if there’s any question. Places that cater to foreigners tend to be the most lenient, but even a traditional onsen may allow you to use the facilities during an off hour when other guests are not present. You can read more about Japanese gay life on Japanvisitor.com. http://www.japanvisitor.com/gay-japan/gay-japan-overview You’ll find additional information and listings onUtopia -asia.com http://www.utopia-asia.com/tipsjapn.htm and travelgayasia. com and TravelGayAsia.com. http://www.travelgayasia.com/destination/gay-japan/ 2. PLANNING YOUR JAPANESE ADVENTURE 2. PLANNING YOUR JAPANESE ADVENTURE A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS You’ll need some assistance beyond our recommendations to plan your own ideal Japanese adventure. Whether you want the full assistance of a guided tour, or just enough tips to navigate on your own, you’ll find those resources here. Once you’re in Japan, you’ll find a variety of helpful services available to you. From volunteer “goodwill guides” to tourist in- formation booths, to subway ticketing machines with help call buttons and helpful pedestrians who are eager to point or even walk you in the right direction, you’re never far from assistance.