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Doctor Me First Facebook Page and Tell Me About It

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Doctor Me First Facebook Page and Tell Me About It Working Your Inner Burn C H A P T E R O N E In this chapter, we are going to tackle the most challenging work of this entire program. I put it at the very n beginning because this really is the shit they didn’t teach us in medical education. We were sent out into the r world of healthcare well prepared in diagnosis and management, but absolutely naive on how to deal with u ourselves and our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. The notion that stoicism, cynicism and suppression of B personal beliefs is the way we all must practice has become status quo. I mean, we all can think of examples of attendings or preceptors that were prime examples. But guess what, we're freaking human! And we better start r acting human because by acting like a bunch of superhero, god complex, perfectionist, stone cold loners with no e life or support system is getting us nowhere. n n Suicide rates are climbing. Colleagues are leaving medicine in droves. Patient loads are getting larger and more I complicated by the minute. People, we have to take care of ourselves before we try to heal and help others. e Because remember, the most important pulse in the room is your own. h t This workbook is designed to help you get back in touch with your pulse, your life, your purpose. h If at any point doing these exercises you feel overwhelmed, frightened or anxious, STOP and BREATHE! Then, hop over to the Doctor Me First Facebook page and tell me about it. This inner self stuff is hard and can bring up TONS g of emotions. But that's ok, because now you are dealing with this and you have a community that is here for you! u o Also remember, no right answers OK?!? Don't listen to your mind screaming at you to write down "what makes the r most sense" or "what's the most logical" or "what my colleagues, parents, family, friends, etc would want to hear." h This is about you. Just write the answers that come to you first. Use this as word vomit. And later, if you don't want t anyone to see this, then shred it or have a ceremonial bonfire and cook some s'mores. But start with just writing it g down because it's amazing what comes out of your fingertips when you no longer pass judgement on yourself or are scrutinize every answer. n i k r o W -11- Ready to dive into yourself? Well, it's word vomit time. This is about you. Just write your answers. You can re-read f l them later and finesse or add details. e s y 1) Give me some words you use to describe yourself. h T w o n K 2) What are your strengths (personally and professionally)? [Need help: think "what would my BFF say were my strengths?" Still having trouble? Then ask them!] 3) What do you consider to be your most significant accomplishments (personally and/or professionally)? -12- 4) What is the hardest thing you have ever had to overcome? 2 # f l e s y h 5) What gets you really energized? T w o n K 6) What is your “secret” passion? The one thing that is almost too exciting to think about?!? 7) What is so significant in your life that if you lost it, you would devastated? -13- 8) What activities leave you feeling empowered, energized, excited, etc? What about them makes them special? 3 # f l e s y 9) What is something that you MUST accomplish in this lifetime? h T w o n K 10) What's your big dream that is so crazy you don't talk about it because it's so far out there? 11) What is the thing that is so painful that you don't let anyone know about? Now, read back over these 2 pages. You, my friend, are pretty amazing! -14- Whether or not you are in touch with them, your values drive your actions every day. These important and s enduring internal beliefs help you measure what's good or desirable and what's not. They serve as broad e guidelines in all situations, and exert major influence on your behavior, perception and decisions. u l When your life and work are aligned with your core values, you will feel at most ease and “on your A game.” a When actions or situations conflict with your core values, you will feel unsteady, uncomfortable and V troubled. When my life/actions are out of line with my values, I describe it as "a rough edge." As if I was rubbing my hand along an unsanded piece of wood, it's uncomfortable and I want to smooth it out. e r Hopefully after you identify some of your key core values, you can start to sense when things are not aligned as well. o C Once you have a list of core values, they can be especially helpful as you are examining your life, thoughts, and actions. You should be able to recognize the pattern of you: how you live, why you act/react to situations, what you say and what you think. Look back at the previous page "Know Thyself." What words did you use for question #1? This is a good start to a list of core values. On the following page, rewrite those words. If you need more help discovering words, go to my site at http://www.truthrxs.com/downloadables-1 for a full list of personal core values pdf. -15- My Core Values: 2 # s e u l a V e r o C After you get some words down, do a second read-through and circle the words that really resonate with you. Now for the third read-through, take each circled core value and spend some time summarizing what it means to you personally and why it matters. [You’re actually making a personal definition for each your core value. (ie core value: "fierce" to me means passionately and whole-heartedly pursuing what I love and care about and I will fight you to the death for it!] -16- Want to talk through core values with me? Let's set up a call! So many times we go through our days, doing what we are supposed to do because, well, we're suppose to do it. y When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself, "Why am I doing this?" Not in a snarky, pissed off h teenager kind of way, but in an exploratory sense. When was the last time you curiously asked yourself, "Why did I really become a doctor?" W This is a no judgement zone so write below your VERY TRUTHFUL answer: "Why did I really become a doctor? r u o Y h t i w Now answer, "Why do I continue?" g n i t c e n n o c e R -18- After understanding your why, I want you to think about who you are. y t i t Do you say: "I AM A DOCTOR" or "I WORK AS A DOCTOR" n The 2 small words I AM mean so much more than the surface appearance. Most people when using the words I AM e are telling you their self identity by stating "this is WHO I am at my core." This can be a very positive and extremely d I powerful tool. I'm not saying that it is wrong to identity yourself as a physician. However, I now realize that when I r made my entire identity about being a physician and attempted to be perfect, do everything and be the superhero u that I thought being a physician was, it landed me in a world of hurt. I put myself and let others put me in the box o of doctor. I felt locked in, trapped and a fraud because I could not live up to those expectation/false beliefs that I y had constructed around my entire sense of self. I felt like I really didn't know who I was for a while. g So that's why I want you to take some time and explore your ENTIRE identity. What makes you, you! n i y f 1) Filling in the blank using descriptive words not just direct nouns (ie I am honest, caring, empathetic, a truthseeker, i t nurturer vs I am a physician, mother, wife.) n e I AM:______________________________ d I Pretty significant list, right! Re-read your list, is it the identity you desire? Explain why or why not in the space below: -19- The way you identify yourself also translates into how you talk to yourself and how you talk about yourself. Imagine d you were a cute little puppy who was constantly cuddled, praised and rewarded vs a cute little puppy who was a mistreated, kicked and badmouthed. When those two little puppies peed on the floor, the conversation would go e one of two ways: "Puppy! I love you, but you can't pee on my floor!" vs "Puppy, bad dog, bad bad dog! Bad dog for H peeing on the floor!" r u We do the exact same thing with our inner self talk. For instance, when you make a mistake, do you say, "I'm so o stupid!" (this is equivalent to Bad Dog) or "That was a stupid thing to do." (I love you, but that was bad behavior, puppy).
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